#if it could be the same therapist

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

my therapist told me to try drinking coffee in the evening because it can help adhd (it actually does help fwiw)

and then my doctor asked me if i drink coffee, and told me that i should cut it out because it’s bad for ocd

🥲🥲🥲

#mental health #mental health is fun #like i stg #if you have more than one mental health issue #it’s guaranteed they’ll contradict each other in some way #like your anxiety meds will make you more depressed #or anything that gives you a dopamine boost to help adhd will make ocd worse #i mean i’m still drinking my iced lattes #i’m just crying whilst doing it #lmao #ocd #adhd #they recommend cbt for both though which would be great #if it could be the same therapist #but it can’t be #it’s a million separate ones #who all have separate waiting lists #nhs mental health #it’s a broken system #anyway #drink coffee #or don’t #maybe it’ll kill you #does anyone remember #that russell howard sketch #the daily mail cancer song #because that’s how i feel receiving mental health advice #these are not good tags

[lesbianfakir]

Not to get personal but I think the reason princess tutu stuck with me for so long after watching it is like. As someone with low self esteem and abandonment issues seeing our hero hate who she is at her core only to make a friend who not only tolerated her “ugly” side but is so so deeply charmed by who she is under the mask that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her no strings attached? That’s the fucking DREAM

It’s the fantasy of having someone who loves you even when you’ve stopped being useful, when you can’t be funny or interesting or any of the traits you try to cultivate to make yourself more palatable to others. It’s the fantasy of having someone see to the core of you and not flinching, instead, coming away more endeared than before.

Princess Tutu is about hope. When Duck, our hero who brings hope to everyone, falls into despair, her best friend is there to bring hope back to her. And I think it says something that hope is the emotion the show leaves me with too. Hope for a better future. Hope that one day, like Duck, I’ll grow out of the ugly duckling phase and be able to embrace my true self.

#it is 2 in the morning and I can’t sleep #this one is ok to reblog if it resonates #but who knows I don’t know if anyone feels the same way #anyways yippeeeee one of my friends just stopped texting me back #I know she’s busy and she has new friends and she’s moving on with her life #still hurts though #I thought she was a real friend but I’m so bad at judging these things #anyways these are sleepy girl rambles #need a crazy bitch like fakir in my life ASAP #I feel like one true friend who’s there no matter what could fix me #but I feel like as the therapist friend everyone expects me to help them with their problems #and when I stop being helpful and have problems of my own that’s when they leave #and you gotta say fuck em and move on but it’s hard #lea talks

[chittychittyyangyang]

It's wild to me prior to this volume people joked about "therapy island", but when met with it don't seem to understand what Ever After has been on the whole?

Being your best self, and for Afterans fulfilling your purpose, has been there from the start. The Blacksmith outright said "The only thing that can happen to you here is what you want to happen the choice of what you become and where you end up is yours to make.... You don't know what you want, do you?" Everything they ask is not a judgement of Ruby, but a clarification of intent and goals. Some people have been real literal with the weapons, but their manifestation seems to come from Ruby "Weapons are extensions of ourselves" Rose. It is both a reflection of her, and being a Huntress.

In Herb's visions (which we know are connected to the tree and the leaves), they were all confronted with their old selves, which they'd all grown from. And it can be hard to here who you once were saying you can go back, more so if you're like Ruby and view your current self as a failure who is worse off than in the past while everyone else believes they are better.

In the Punderstorm they all had to face something they unconsciously or not want to address. Jaune tells them they can just wait it out and keep moving forward so they do, him never acknowledging his younger self and Penny, Weiss taking a moment to see Atlas fall but choosing to walk away, and Ruby trying so hard to focus on the task and her friends she doesn't see Summer. Even if they want to address their problems, they aren't ready in that moment. You can't force people to address things when they aren't ready (hence Ruby's breakdown later). The bees were never forced to confess either since, again, this was something they both WANTED to talk about even if Yang was scared and Blake was going to wait until she was ready. Sometimes there's no good moment, and sometimes you're already falling off that cliff so you might as well embrace it.

The Cat, while being unreliable in their intentions, never seems to have lied about more general aspects of Ever After and Ascension. It is a good thing for Afterans that is both a death and not. The heart still remembers even if they change into something else and change their purpose, something we get to see later with the Genial Gems. You can rebuild not only yourself, but rebuild from the ashes (or flood) of a destroyed home (Weiss).

"And how would you measure 'enough'?"

"Enough" for Ruby has always been living up the the idea of Summer. To Ruby, being Ruby was never going to be enough. Ascension for Ruby is finding out who SHE is, not necessarily making a choice to change. The choice to reaffirm who you are and that you are enough is always a choice. That Ruby Rose has been, and will always be enough. That the burden that needs to be laid down is the one you've (understandably) placed on yourself out of the idea of who your mother was.

"What is it to 'Ruby Rose'?"

#rwby9 #ccyy talks #as someone who could be a therapist I've loved this volume #and I wish I could do as well as the blacksmith at therapy #cause I really do like asking people if they could live their ideal life what would it look like and what could we do to get you there #would be easier with magic and such a soothing voice lol #this is ramblely and idk if my point got through #I just have a lot of thoughts but head empty as the same time

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I was rewatching The Stone Forest and I really like to think that Hilda had to pass by the Bell Keeper’s outpost on her way out of the city limits. I like to think that idiot looked at what was happening, shrugged, and said ‘eh, she’s the scariest thing out there’

#“‘the scariest thing out there’?”the girl sends him a look that isn't quite a glare for once; it still conveys her opinion just as clearly #Edmund shrugs. Hilda is still within sight of his binoculars. he watches her run and can’t be sure whether she’s running *towards* or *from #*.He doesn’t think she knows either. #'I mean. it’s not like trolls can harm her at this time of the day. #Don’t tell me you believe in fairies kid.' #And there it is at last: the glare. Meiri looks up from her art project - her new therapist had reccomended it as a way to express herself #and since he'd been helping so much so far she'd decided to grudgingly give it a shot - #“*No*” she states pointedly; to anyone who knew her it was an affirmation. And Edmund knew her better than she cared for #'What I believe in is wolves and recluse spiders and ticks and nettle. And I believe that someone with the spine #to sabotage the Patrol wouldn't have the self control to not lick a pretty mushroom' #“Hey!” Edmund protested putting down his binoculars. “I sabotaged the Patrol! For *you* I might add!” #Meiri's smile turned mean; it was a regular expression for her yet it never conveyed any malice. Just the thrill of a game that never tired #her. “And would you?” she lifted one thick eyebrow; signaling to her dad that it was his move now #The dad in question was unfortunately thinking back to a time in his young teenage years when he figured he could eat anything animals bit #and gave himself a poisoning that had him taken to the ER. But she didn't need to know that. *ever* in fact. #“Obviously I would. Like I'd let a mushroom ruin my perfect sandwich diet” #Meiri groaned loudly. Some games were worth playing. But some wars she'd already accepted she'd never win #“Anyway” he turned back to staring at the outside of the wall as if it was of any interest to him (it wasn't) #“kid'll be fine is my point. And even if she isn't ya know what's the best think about this situation?” #They looked at each other with matching smirks. “none of our flipping business” he said at the same time as she echoed #“None of our fucking business” #He gasped immediatelly. “*Meiri!*” #The chastening was useless. She just shrugged innocently. #He'd really have to limit her library visits #the bell keeper hilda #meirdom #hilda the series #hilda netflix

[ef-1]

girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year. #when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍 #not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :) #like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢 #and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up- #when people mention it 😍 #last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her) #and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook” #and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?” #im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

[chipistrate]

How did Vanessa and Gregory get such shitty therapists why did they suck

#Chip Chatter #also why did they all work at both Fazbear Entertainment AND Gregory's school #oh. wait could that be why GGY transferred schools #so he and Vanessa could have the same therapists #. fucking freak(/aff)

[coochiequeens]

These men just don't want to be around kids otherwise they would be the fun uncle, volunteer for Big Brothers and Big Sisters, be ok with dating women with kids and have a good relationship with the step kids. They just think they were entitled to biological offspring.

Amelia Hill

@byameliahillMon 28 Aug 2023 11.00 EDT

Father’s Day is dangerous for Robert Nurden. Childless not through choice but, as he puts it, “complacency, bad luck, bad judgment”, he tries to stay indoors and ignore the family celebrations outside.

But one year, he went for a walk. “I met family after family. There were children everywhere,” he remembered. “It was terrible. Just so painful. So many ambushes and triggers for my anguish.”

There is very little research into men who have not had children, although that is beginning to change. Research by Dr Robin Hadley has found that 25% of men over 42 do not have children – 5% more than women of the same age group.

Half of the men who are not fathers but wanted to be describe a huge grief and isolation from society. Almost 40% have experienced depression and a quarter feel a deep anger

Now 72, Nurden had a sheltered upbringing. Reaching adulthood, there was a lot he wanted to experience. “Having children was a very low priority. I was complacent: I just assumed it would happen,” he said.

It was not until he was in his early 40s that Nurden started to get broody. But by that point, he discovered, women of a similar age had already had children, if they were able or wanted to.

“I went into this 15-year period of not going into relationships or ending relationships quickly because I knew that person wasn’t going to want or be able to have a child with me – or that the relationship wasn’t going to be strong enough to last if we did have a child,” said Nurden.

He said high-profile older fathers breed complacency in ordinary men. “If I’m honest, even when I was in my 50s I believed that it might happen for me. But in real life, the Mick Jagger and Jon Snow-age fathers are actually very rare – and in any case, it’s medically not wise, as regards sperm quality.”

What compounded Nurden’s pain was that there was no public or private discussion about how men feel when circumstance leaves them unable to become fathers.

“There’s lots of publicity, quite rightly, about women and childlessness but men are very mute about this. Married men don’t want to hear it either: I’ve had men with children react with anger, as though they feel threatened, when I’ve tried to talk about my pain,” he said.

“I was mute too until recently, because as I aged, I found the regret grew into a great pain,” he added. “Unlike many other forms of grief, this compounds itself as it gets older: I wasn’t a father but now I’m not a grandfather. When I’m even older, I might find myself entirely alone.”

Nurden has published a book, I Always Wanted to be a Dad: Men Without Children, about his story and that of some other men. “It turns out that there is a lot of pain, regret and sadness out there,” he said.

Hadley, the researcher, is childless because although his wife had wanted children, by the time she and Hadley met, her age meant the risk of having one was too great. “I chose love but that doesn’t make the pain of not having children any less,” he said. “When a close colleague had his first child, I was so jealous that I couldn’t be in the same room as him.”

Being a father is a marker of status in many countries, said Hadley, but not in the west. “While there has recently been a lot more public discussion about how to be a good father, we still don’t have any narrative or celebration about how important it is for men to become a father in the first place,” he said.

Paul Goulden, the chair of Ageing Without Children, said that, along with the lack of public dialogue about becoming a father, he was “not convinced that there’s this Game of Thrones genetic push felt by men to have children”.

Instead, he said: “There’s this mistaken belief that men are fertile across their lifespan, so there’s no imperative to get on with it.”

That complacency persists because men without children historically have not spoken about their grief. But, Goulden said: “I hope Robert’s book will trigger a change in public dialogue around this issue. I think there’s an overwhelming sense of loneliness and fear out there about who is going to be there for these men, when they’re old and all alone.”

I wonder what their exes for these men would about them. Because the bar for Father's is so low that women showing they didn't want kids with them should really be a sign to do some soul searching.

Personal experience.......I think of my ex fiance who constantly said he wanted ro get married and have kids. However his actions said he wanted me to have the kids while he worked full time, he didn't believe in daycare so no job for me, and he would have to go to the gym almost everyday, he had a physically demanding job, and of course have his weekly card night with his buddies. And yes I stated all my objections but he had tunnel vision when it came to his fantasy family life. There's more but those were the issues relevant to this article.

#Men really being the victims #Families celebrating Father's day was ambushing him #Does he do anything for his father on Father's day or use his feels to push the emotional labour for that onto his siblings? #If childless men die alone it's because they did nothing to foster relationships with the children in their families #One on the men interviewed was economically stable in a stable marriage They could adopt #Shout out to that anon who sent this link #No one is entitled to biological children #A grown ass man was so jealous of a friend's baby he couldn't be in the same room. I hope he stays away from that family #Being a father is a marker of status in many countries said Hadley but not in the west...... #.....I posted articles explaining the fatherhood bonus versus the motherhood penalty in the workforce #What are they doing with their time and energy that they have due to not having kids? #Do they volunteer within their communities? #Attend social events? #Do they travel? #Do they try to look at the upside of not having kids? #Or just brood in resentment and anger? #I get the vibe of if these guys were younger they would be posting black knight stories on 4chan directed at women with children #A journalist just recorded their statements #A therapist would ask who iscthe anger directed at?

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad #and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay #but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh #like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet #but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety #or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place #1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out #2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me #3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days #4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for - #- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night #but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?' #i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed #and people where always like 'oh she's just shy' #but idk wtf changed #maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk #but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me #i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not #but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix #or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY #have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them #even if i don't like them #instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety?? #i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc #but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day* #aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up #it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all............. #ranting

[trashworldblog]

How many landlords have you exploded today???

not enough, never enough

#my therapist asked if there was a button i could press that could change one thing in the world what would i want it to change #and i just said i dont want any more mental illness and also a end capitalism button. and she said hm. those are kinda the same thing #she passes the vibe check #boog posting #thanks for the ask!

[thesoftestcowboy]

actually thinking about it it is also rly weird to hear someone say "i think i have an anxiety disorder and that really worries me and stresses me out" and just go "ah no you don't, stop worrying about it" like ????

#literally how and why. as a therapist. #i know the same person told me the thing i described was probably an anxiety attack. but?? not anxiety?? #because apparently it wasnt severe enough since i could hypothetically still pay taxes or smth. absolutely wild #tbh i think she just didnt wanna start treating me for it idk #txt

[rose-lalondde]

pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)

#i can handle one class just fine but 2 classes??? im killing myself #im working too so its like i never have time for myself and its just a neverending well of assignments and work plus i hate the schedule #why is everything due at 10:59 and why is it due in the middle of the week but i have to come back the next 2 days and write responses #one of my classes will trade out a disucssion for the week with an assignment thats due at the end of the week and i like that sm better #the other class makes use do a discussion and an assignment in the same week #and usually they're all due at the same time so i go to work and then go home do my homework and then do more homework on the weekend #then go back to work do you understand my problem #anyway my mom casually confirmed that i have astigmatism recently which ??? #but my eyesight is fine but driving in the dark is hell and its not b/c of the dark! #any kind of bright light blinds me like it could be a sunny day and i won't be seeing shit for that entire drive omg #just realized that this might be the cause of an increase in headaches wait... #ok back on track: adhd consultation (maybe) in a month and a half! #i don't have a therapist so im hoping my doctor can help? or at least refer me to somebody that can help b/c looking is hard omg #where the therapists at omg #moon posts #long one today because i am procrastinating so i can give up <3

[kyoupann]

To all my neurodivergent besties out there, here's the situation :

So I've been in therapy for about two months now and a couple sessions ago I told my therapist how when people recommend stuff to me like books and shows, to me it feels like I'm getting to know the person. I'm learning about them through media they like; and that if I feel said media is gonna teach me something new about the other person, then I engage with that media. In my mind, it's a scale "will I learn anything new about them? Yes/no"

I rarely ever have interest in new stuff, but when my friends get into something new I like to ask the why's and how's first because I'd love to understand. In a way, it's something I do out of interest for my friends. And yeah, sometimes I've felt like I'm being more annoying than anything else but—that's besides the point; I like to watch new things to understand people, I watch things with people in mind. I read and I like finding a scene that makes me understand why this person recommended this story. My love language some would say lmao.

Anyways,

#poll time #!! #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #personal #neurodiverse stuff #also how do I ask my therapist for a ND diagnosis jsjsj #also please let me know how you go about new stuff like show recommendations #what's your process like or do you just watch it? #(I wish that could be me) #but no I go into this sort of dilemma #oh not really relevant or maybe it is but didn't know where to add it #since I do it out of interest to get to know the person there's a small part of me that feels they feel the same #like I recommend something and the watch it? then they want to get to know me! they don't engage with it? They have no interests in knowing #me #but not always/that strong because K #I know not everyone goes through this process #anyways this whole post came out of my friend saying “imaginary relationships is a symptom” #and uh yeah #also feel free to reblog this ofc I wanna get more people answering jsjsjs

[depressedgremlinbitch]

my mom's trauma dumping about her childhood again and i'm fucking tired of this

#i usually hate this expression #but shes been telling me the same stories over and over again since i was like 10 #it always kinda feels like she tries to make me feel guilty for not being grateful enough that shes better than her mother #and also she keeps blaming her for everything that went wrong in her life #and to a point thats valid #but also #shes an adult woman in her 40s #some of these thing could have been fixed 20+ years ago if she tried #but she wont even go to a therapist bc she “doesnt believe in that” #well sorry mom #but i cant fucking fix you #✩‧₊˚

[gxlden-angels]

Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)

It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.

I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.

It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great

#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health #whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart #he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful #I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism #it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick #my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive #cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond #and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable #but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better #Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve #like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable #I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't #control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't #I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it #I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but #they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever #Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too #Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3

[marwoood]

how do i drive it home that the only reason i haven’t killed myself yet is because i can’t be someone who takes away an only child from a mother yet every time she tells me therapy is a scam. every time

#the power her single word has to break the same part of me over and over again #i would never ever in a million years want to have that kind of hold over someone #funny that she thinks all therapists are bullshit yet they’re the only way for me to stop caring that she thinks that #i wanna bathe in gasoline and swallow a match so that she could see that i’m genuinely not fucking okay