#if nobody else is doing it ill do it myself.

[pcrows]

exhibiting little freak behavior in the lab, much to the dismay of the other test subjects.

#pointcrow #pcrow #dougdoug #shufflemania #youtube #gif #gifset #need to gif more shufflemania stuff. for my sake #if nobody else is doing it ill do it myself.

[eat-rock]

“nobody understands me” but not in the “edgy suffering from teenager syndrome mad at mom” kind of way, but the “lonely isolating young adult realization that the specific combination of mental illnesses and past experiences i’ve had have resulted in a pattern of behaviors that are often misinterpreted and misconstrued by others” type of way

#maybe it’s the mental illness but boy howdy do i feel like an outsider #as a teenager it’s usually the feeling that everybody else is a stick in the mud and stupider than you kind of stuff #now i’m feeling like everybody else is a real person while i’m only partially a person #like there’s so much of myself missing and i can’t seem to relate with anybody else #it’s lonely feeling like nobody would understand how my brain works even if i tried to explain it to them #idk how to tag this but i hope anybody else can relate #actually neurodivergent #actually neurodiverse #adhd #actually adhd #ocd #mental illness #mentally ill #neurodivergent #👁‍🗨 #🌀

[cut-n-snared]

i wish i could clone myself and use myself as a punching bag

#bpd safe #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #self h@te #tw self h4rm #self sabotage #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing stuff #bpd problems #bpd #(would also fuck myself) #nobody else wanted to do it so ill do it myself

[puppyeared]

i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim

#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it #its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me #but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy #hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked #its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags #and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple #its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!! #and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!! #but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is #fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates #but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right' #fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on #yapping

[winepresswrath]

When Crowley says he understands what Aziraphale is offering a whole lot better than Aziraphale does Aziraphale loses the plot (the plot is that he loves and trusts Crowley). He's spent so much time being condescended to and belittled and is currently high on approval and sympathy from an authority figure who thinks ingesting things is cool and not disgusting at all! So feeling like Crowley is talking down to him in that moment is doubly a slap in the face because it's Crowley not being on his side (horrible) but it's also Crowley saying that Metatron's validation doesn't count and he's dumb for thinking it should. This is all very sympathetic but also Crowley was right!!! Crowley was right about everything Aziraphale doesn't understand because for all he's suffered for being himself he has never been cast into hell and had to develop a whole new identity about it, and so it really was the actual worst possible time to break out "I forgive you."

Also c'mom buddy I know you weren't there for "I was only asking questions" but that metatron's "always wanted to go his own way... always asking damned fool questions" really Aziraphale??? REALLY????

#I'm still grieving for Crowley also being a nobody #but I've stopped deluding myself #angelic it girl Crowley has been confirmed #everyone thinks he's cool and hot except for Gabriel who thinks the natural order is to be cool and hot so everyone else is just a loser #also he is just like. terrified of Gabriel and gives zero shits about any other Angel #thought that might be after he realizes he can do mega miracles with Aziraphale by his side #anyway Crowley is important not just in rank but because #his fall predates eve hes the proto eve so of course it's him in the garden saying don't you want to know #ms. can't stop asking questions themselves #I'M STILL BOOING #but ill take it #good omens spoilers #good omens season two spoilers

[bruhman745]

this is what happens when you get into stardew valley. beware

#and this is just the planning doc. dear fucking lird. #bmwrites #i dont even remember my tags lol #this is also what happens when you split a sdv fictive and also write fic #because goddammit nobody else is writing what i want #so ill do it MYSELF #started this yesterday night. btw #sdv fanfic

[rithmeres]

whenever i have absolutely nothing going on and don’t need to be anywhere or do anything, everyone around me is perfectly healthy but when i have huge things that i absolutely cannot afford to miss then half my family gets sick at once with different diseases

#WHY ARE THEY SICK ALL THE TIME BUT SPECIFICALLY ONLY WHEN I DESPERATELY NEED TO STAY HEALTHY #i’m gonna start killing. i have a big thing on friday and a concert next week and a tattoo coming up and i need to be okay for all of those #and i’m running things at the community house for two weeks straight. i cannot afford to be out of commission for even a few days. #& nobody gets it. for me being sick is not just unfortunate it is literally hell on earth. the worst possible thing that could happen to me #i’d rather break a bone or sprain my ankle or have an ibs flare or crash my car. literally anything else #AND DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON OTHER TYPES OF ILLNESS. I WILL KILL EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE AND THEN MYSELF. #tell me. why. when i was living with 4 roommates in a cramped apartment for 4 years. i only got sick twice. #but living with my family. for 9 months. i have gotten sick 4 times. and most times it was directly traceable to someone else in the house. #i am filled with such unspeakable violence i need to leave i need to leave i need to leave #GUESS IM NOT GONNA EAT FOR A WEEK BECAUSE GOD FORBID I INTRODUCE A PATHOGEN INTO MY SYSTEM #<- i know this is not how it works but that is how my brain has rationalized it for decades

[orangesand-lemons-234]

If nobody else is gonna be the body-positive neurodivergent gay of the family, I guess I just have to do it myself 💪💪💪

#this is a joke #mostly #if nobody else is gonna do it ig ill have to do it myself yknow

[dogboots]

blog that makes me happy vs nobody will ever take me seriously here as long as I post the way I do

#mousetalk #im aware that a lot of my biggest interests are for children. thats why this main blog looks like a seven year old designed everything #im also aware of how silly i tend to look to anybody who isnt myself. 'adult who likes things for children“ isnt really something you Want #to be known as because this makes you look stupid to folks who do not have or understand the childish stuff #which is pretty understandable. i do look silly taking cartoon dogs seriously and being converned over toy rabbits feelings and whatnot #im not so oblivous as to pretend that i dont lol #i just wish i could enjoy these things and still be taken seriously! im not angry at people for deciding they wont or deciding they dont #like me or deciding im some sort of strange freak who will never grow up. its valid when you consider the everything else about me. #just wish it didnt have to mean that any and all footholds i have in adult spaces werent null and void you know #itd be nice if the two things could coexist. #im really only rambling in the tags like this because having this childish blog as my main ends with me being blocked a Lot #which again! im not mad about! people can choose to interact with who they like and form whatever opinions they want #im just a little sad is all. i have plenty of (mature even!) interests outside of things like stickers or stuffed animals but i cant really #interact with these things here without somebody inevitably looking my way and going oh. another immature person. goodbye #or just assuming that im a child trying to wiggle my way into adult spaces by claiming i am one. according to 1 ask i recieved a while back #i dont know. this really isnt much of a complaint is it. 'people dont take my stuffed animals seriously' is about as stupid of a problem as #it gets haha #maybe someday ill suck it up and rebrand and stop talking about baby animals on my main blog #so i could finally follow a blog for something like a horror game franchise without being blocked on sight #or greeted reluctantly and with an eyeroll haha #TLDR; if this blog stops being happy funtimes it is nobodys fault but my own for being spineless about my own interests lol #i doubt anybody is reading this wall of text (hello if you are) but dont take anything i said in here personally #enjoy what you want to enjoy. dont let me or anybody else dictate that when your life on earth is so short #this is more just me with my own trivial issues that dont matter in the grand scheme of things #okay goodnight everybody thats it for the time being

[britneyshakespeare]

i was hanging out today w a friend i hadn't seen in awhile and kaily and i were catching up on all the drama involving him (my controlling manipulative and abusive ex-friend) and how he keeps going out of his way to ask ppl about where we are and find us and how the only reason i think i get out of it is bc i don't go to the same college as him anymore, i hardly ever leave the house socially and the few ppl i do see all have no connection w him anymore, and i don't work at some place where he can just show up. i work in pre-k-to-12 public schools. my schedule in terms of days/location is irregular anyway, but if some strange adult man shows up for no particular reason and seeks out a female employee, you do not just get let in. that is how you have the cops called on you. but he does know where i live and i have been paranoid about him finding some excuse to show up at my house. i've had legitimate nightmares about that. i never stopped having nightmares about him i'd say at least once every other week and i haven't talked to him in almost six months.

i don't like at all how i don't feel safe in a way that means i have faith that the issue is over; the person is out of my life; our communication will not be renewed against my will once again. bc all of those things have been attempted. i feel safe in a way that means he happens, by circumstance, not to be able to access me in any convenient way to him. any way he could find me (the only way to feasibly do that would be work/home) would be a justification for calling the police. but i don't have any faith that he wouldn't try, because he has shown himself as being capable of being that low. and if i switch jobs or transfer schools finally and he finds out about it, he can just make it an issue there if he so feels like it, and i'm sure he will. he's a monster. he gets some sort of thrill out of making other ppl feel unsafe and having all the control in the situation

#tales from diana #it was very validating to talk to her bc she never really liked him #in fact i used to be so humiliated when i'd bring him to hang out w my older friends #bc he'd go oooon and on and on about how nobody listens to him nobody understands him nobody cares about or appreciates him #and then i'd be like 'oh my friends are good ppl! ill introduce u' and i did. i made the effort to bring him to them a LOT #(and he would make me feel like he envied me for my oh-so-superior life which i most definitely do not have) #but then he would not listen to her not understand her not care about her and not appreciate her #nor any of my friends for that matter. but he was SO disinterested in her in particular in a way that was just sooo disrespectful #he wouldnt let me hold a conversation w her. or let me bring her into a conversation w him. he'd DOMINATE #in general he didn't like me talking to anybody else or anyone talking to anyone else or anyone else talking #ive never seen a man who cared so little about somebody else getting to finish a sentence. #and like there's a lot of adhd in our friend group. we all (myself especially) have our spirited interjections #and occasionally interrupt but we realize when we're doing it and then pull back & let the other person finish #we try to keep other ppl on track w what they were saying when they go on a tangent #you know. we try and communicate effectively #even tho we r not naturally perfect at it lol. #we're adults who respect each other it's almost like! #but yeah. he was only interested in impressing the couple of men in my friend group essentially #he'd talk abt how my two guy friends r cool & how he wants to be closer to them #and i'd stick up for this woman i hung out w today & he had just absolutely no interest in her #she never liked him anyway which was so baller of her. good on her. she detected his rudeness #and that rudeness used to vex me so much. i suppose bc i couldnt bear to see him treat other ppl how he treated me #altho to a much lesser extent w the overt lovebombing he did to me and the traumadumping and intense reliance upon me #he seriously needed my attention 24/7 it didn't matter if i was studying or working or in bed sick for two weeks #literally he and his vapid fucking needs came before everything in my life according to him. always. crazy #the entitlement of that man is ridiculous. so of course he thinks there's nothing wrong w seeking me out #of course. #i wouldnt care if he died

[surreal-duck]

messing around a bit

#delete later #man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird #trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg #shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me #should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔 #still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess #just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made. #im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough. #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony #well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole #even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw #actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself #but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate #hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week #man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay #hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini #masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh #ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini #aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr #me when i have to do my job at work #i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower #sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit

[lee-hakhyun]

i do not think i can express just how much 614 ruined me. i am a fool for thinking it would go any other way. lhh is really my favourite orv character. singshong wouldn't put him through even more pain, would they. (they. they would. as.. as long as he eventually gets a happy ending..?)

#one more chapter. just one more. things can get better. it has to #orv side story #orv spoilers #iv e been GOING THROUGH IT #lhh hasn't been here long. but he's grown on me SO much #FUCk man i don't write but if nobody else is making fanfiction for him maybe ill have to do it myself #<- i do have ideas. but as i keep saying i don't write and i. actually i don't know why i haven't tried to just some kind of mental block i

[kkoct-ik]

ace attorney apollo trilogy being rereleased for switch lets goooooooooooooooo high quality uendo sprites

#kostik speaks #the only thing i care about. give me the crispy quality #maybe someone can rip them properly this time ..... maybe ill have to do it myself . i will if nobody else does

[strozzaprete]

not to be morbid on main but my life is so strange every day i'm fighting with my inner suicidal child trying to convince her to stay alive out of spite for our enemies

#this entire year ​i've been forced to relive past trauma -> which i'd been able to finally process but it doesn't involve just me #so basically i processed it but my family hasn't and they keep putting the blame on me for everything and guilting me for it #even though i was a literal child. in short the fact that i ''acted out'' by running away from abusive situations was and still is worse #than the actual abusive situations i was put in. as a child. #so like... i can forgive and understand and empathize with my past self at last (instead of feeling suicidal like i did for years) #but if nobody else in my close family circle does then i have to essentially stay strong and remind myself that they're wrong #point is that when i was 11-12 i would react to the emotional and physical abuse by basically putting myself in dangerous situations #and attempting suicide a couple of times lmao. staring at the train tracks every other day #because the fact that they beat me was NORMAL for me (my mom told me that i was 2 the first time my dad hit me) #and they were acting like i was (i quote) ''bipolar'' and mentally ill and acting out out of nowhere and i couldn't fully understand why #i was doing certain things at the time. so i put the entirety of the ''blame'' on myself. and later on my mom would make me feel guilty #about it for a decade to win arguments -> which almost every time start with her gaslighting me until i start crying and yelling so then she #can call me crazy. and she can make ME feel crazy so i won't take her accountable. so she avoids taking responsibility for her actions (past #and present). i finally realized this when i told her that one of the most traumatic events of my life was when she found some smoking #filters in my drawer (she used to go through my stuff all the time) that i was LITERALLY KEEPING FOR A FRIEND and she dragged me out on the #balcony by my hair and beat me. she would beat me in public places all the time to humiliate me. even my school friends remember this #and she said 1) ''it didn't happen'' and 2) ''i don't remember'' #so that's that. either i'm crazy and i fabricated the memory out of nowhere... or she's not taking responsibility for her actions. #and like... I KNOW it happened. but i'm very sensitive to gaslighting (as she does this all the time about other things as well) #and sometimes i literally have to hug myself and rock back and forth and essentially try to convince myself i'm not crazy #that's the situation i'm in rn :) cool #thank god the therapist moved my appointment to tomorrow because i'm about to implode or perhaps ask for money in advance to purchase drugs

[lovely-english-rose]

just found out about seadall how has the fe fandom managed to keep yet another engage character a complete secret from me?? 😩

#if nobody else is gonna be a lil nuts about him ill do it myself #bc just based on his design? 👀👌

[mockingbirdshymn]

slamming my fists on the metaphorecal table right now

why in the name of FUCK are there not more nerrison/harriston/presner/nerriston fics on ao3. nerrison has the most because theyre obviously amazing and also not the most uncommon camp camp ship out there

but theres still so little. ive literally read all of the ones that dont include heavy angst/arent nerrison focused. IVE READ THEM ALL. AND YET. AND YET. theres nothing. theres nothing new for me to read

which is probably why im making my nerriston fic, out of spite for the lack of nerriston fics on ao3, but if any of you have a fic idea that you dont want to/cant write yourselves for any of the ships above, ill write it /srs

#if nobody else is going to write about these little goblins ILL DO IT MYSELF #this is because i absolutely hate it when i love a pairing and then. theres nothing left #its a fucking drought #and before you know it youre rereading the same 3 fics every night #or maybe i just have no real life #one or the other #but fun fact the reason i started writing fanfiction was out of this #“UGH theres no fics with my pairings” and then i remembered i had the ability to press keys on a keyboard and make words appear #and PSHHH grammarly and my beta can deal with my dyslexia #so here i am #woah #camp camp #cc nerris #cc harrison #cc preston #nerriston #nerrison #presner #harriston