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#if this actually happens it’s going to be bananas
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First & Only - LN
Dark fic 18+ - if you don't like this or the warnings/themes make you uncomfortable. I can't stress this enough, DO NOT READ THIS. Minors DNI
Summary: Lando meets a young woman who is absolutely an angel in human form. He doesn’t want to ruin that, but he absolutely wants to know what she tastes and feels like and he will make sure he’s the only one who ever gets that privilege.
Warnings/themes: Possessive toxic boyfriend, smut, loss of virginity, manipulation, stalking
English/youngest child!reader
No part 2 requests please
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Lando never considered himself a religious man, but when he saw y/n helping one of her friends move into his apartment building. He swore he saw white feathery wings glimmer in the sun for just a moment.
She disappeared after her friend had fully moved in, that friend turning out to be some rich man's mistress but whatever the situation was, y/n was none the wiser to the indiscretions. Probably quite similar to the man's wife having no idea about it.
With it being obvious she didn't live in Monaco, Lando had to resort to digitally stalking the young woman. Luckily that wasn't hard once he had his new neighbours name Olivia Parker (sorry if that just so happens to be anyone's name). Her instagram had thousands of posts but it only took stalking 17 photo dumps to find y/n y/l/n.
She's very obviously the innocent one who her friends make sure to protect from the evils of the world. There's plenty of friends like her, maybe the youngest of the group, definitely a youngest child who is maybe from a bigger family or from parents who weren't quite interested in their kids.
He found her instagram and that was thankfully not on private. Though he had to work quickly in on the chance she did make it private.
Y/n being in such a small and limited social group, Lando had to make a move that was sly. Pretending to breakdown outside her parents house was a risk, but when she answered the door and proved to be home alone. He was relieved to find her practically insisting he come in.
In true English fashion the rain had turned torrential so y/n insisted he come in, especially since he called the towing service and they said it'd be a while.
"I'm Lando, by the way." Lando smiles making her smile at him.
"I'm y/n. It's nice to meet you-well, I'm sure there could be better circumstances. Uhh...my brother has some clothes if you think you might need something dry. You guys look about the same size."
"Yeah, that'd be great actually."
When she gave him the clothes, she entirely left the room to give him privacy. Masking her exit as getting them some tea and something to eat.
He ended up being there for a couple hours and he managed to get her number on the premise he needed to be able to contact her and find some way to thank her for her generosity. She still insisted there was no need but Lando wasn't letting his efforts go to waste and didn't give her much of a choice.
After that she didn't make it very hard to arrange dates and eventually get her to races, get her over to Monaco and while the most he'd got from her was a kiss, for now that was actually very much enough.
For now at least.
He'd be lying if he said that he hasn't dreamt thought about getting in between her legs and eating meal down there before discovering what she'd feel like wrapped around him. God just the thought of what whines she'd make makes him get a shiver of excitement.
"Hey...there you are gorgeous." Lando grins as y/n stands making pancakes for breakfast ahead of a flight out of Monaco. "You always look better in my clothes than I do."
"You think?" Y/n laughs as Lando hugs her tightly, the urge to rip the baggy hoodie off of her and bend her over the counter making him tighten his hold on her a little more purely so he can restrain himself from doing exactly what he wants to do.
"I know." Lando confirms then kissing her neck. "What flavour pancakes today?"
"Banana and oat." Y/n smiles proudly making him grin at her.
"Amazing."
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Arriving in the hotel, it's quite late, but with the time difference they're both wide awake and while sitting out on the balcony, Lando finally asks something he's been needing the answer to.
"Y/n..."
"Yes...?" Y/n smiles, the cute expression making Lando almost not want to ask.
"I want to ask you something but I don't want you to think anything bad of it. I'm just asking because I'm curious."
"Ok." Y/n smiles tilting her head at him awaiting the question.
"Have you ever had sex?" Lando asks getting straight to it now he has the go ahead.
"Oh...well...I...almost did?" Y/n winces then swallowing while Lando can't help but be amused by that answer. "Not properly."
"What do not properly mean?"
Is she about to be one of those girls who kept her virtue by letting guys take the backdoor?
"Well he was going to, but then the girls started banging on my door so we had to stop."
"You're so cute."
"That's not comforting." Y/n mumbles wrinkling her nose only to squeak when he pulls her forward towards himself, managing to place her legs over his over with them resting either side of his waist. "Lando-"
"Did it feel good?" Lando questions ignoring her very obvious nerves on speaking about the issue. "You can be honest, baby."
"It didn't really feel like anything." Y/n shrugs then swallowing and looking at him. "I know it can feel good-or it's meant to, it just didn't get that far."
"I think you should let me show you how good it can feel."
"Now?"
"Now would be good, then you can't overthink it." Lando confirms making her swallow thickly. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes." Y/n nods making him smirk.
She probably shouldn't. She'd be better not to and she'd be smarter not to. But he's not about to stop her.
Lando gets them inside from the balcony, wasting no time in getting at leas the thicker layers of her sweats off of her body and groaning just at the sight of her white lace bra. He almost feels bad thinking that white will never be worn the same way on her as this moment.
He almost feels a few seconds of dizziness when his blood rushes from his head to his crotch.
"You are so fucking beautiful. How have I let you keep hiding under all these clothes?" Lando groans sliding her panties down her legs.
She might be inexperienced, but just a glimpse at her pussy tells him she's subconsciously eager for whatever is to come.
"Close your eyes." Lando instructs deciding that if there's one thing he doesn't need is her backing out because things look scary.
"Close my eyes?" Y/n murmurs earning a nod.
"Don't open them unless I say." Lando confirms making her swallow but lie back closing her eyes.
Lando pushes her legs apart taking a moment as his spreads her lips looking at the slick that is increasing by the seconding and he can feel her muscles contracting in a fight of instinct to let her thighs close the space he's in.
It's been a long time since Lando has been with a virgin and honestly he probably wasn't the best at handling taking someone's virginity the last time he did it.
There's no denying she's not lying, unless she's only be with someone who had the world's smallest dick that didn't even reach her hymen because it's certainly still there and while that shouldn't be such a turn on. Lando practically has to restrain himself from jumping forward and let his dick do all his thinking.
He can't hurt her. Even if it's going to hurt at least a little.
He might not be able to get into her like that quite yet, but he's certainly getting a taste that he feels he's waited more than long enough for.
Being her first and only is the plan and he has no intentions letting her slip away, he's made the effort and done the work to get her there.
"Fuck, y/n." Lando groans not being able to hold himself back as he presses his tongue against her, licking up and down from her hole to her clit and the sound of her whimpers making him go her like a starved man.
And maybe he is, there's only so much satisfaction you can get out of your hand when you know you have a girlfriend just in the other room. But now he's pushing her towards her first orgasm and she is without a doubt not getting off of this bed a virgin tonight.
Y/n's first orgasm seems to build up slowly then all at once it strikes and he can feel the heat radiating off of her as she spasms on his tongue and presses her thighs together a little more. His name escaping her lips in the most whispered moan is almost has him going feral.
Maintaining restraint just enough to not pin her down and go at her like he so badly wants to. He doesn't want to ruin her and he certainly doesn't want to traumatise her.
He does begin to shift the kisses up her body till he is face to face with her, smirking when he sees her eyes squeezed closed, her bottom lip wet and raked from her teeth while she pants heavily.
"Open you eyes, baby." Lando instructs making her eyes relax but she's hesitating. "Did I hurt you?"
"No."
"Did it feel good?"
"Yes."
"Then open your eyes. You don't have to be scared." Lando chuckles finally watching her eyes open but before she can properly process his words, he's caught her in a kiss groaning as he grinds down on her, the her wetness covering his dick as it slides between her lips while she moans at the pressure on her clit.
"Lando, I need you-I want you." Y/n pants almost making him cum right on her tummy.
"It's not going to feel good at first, but I promise it will after a bit." Lando states wanting to tell her that if she wants to stop at any point then she just needs to say but he doesn't think he could bring himself to stop till he's finished.
"It's ok." Y/n mumbles but her voice wobbling definitely communicates her nerves, something Lando wants to care about but honestly he can't possibly stop himself from getting inside her without possibly burst a blood vessel or giving himself a hernia.
He's in a fuzz, only focused on positioning himself, brushing his tip back down over her clit before finding her hole and easing himself in as slowly as he can possibly force himself to go. The tightness swallowing him before he feels it loosen and y/n hisses trying to move herself on instinct but he manages to distract her with another kiss as he pushes in further keeping her from moving any further.
He does grimace a little feeling more give as he reaches the untouched space, the moan passing is lips as he keeps himself still.
"Are you ok?" He asks finally forcing himself to meet her gaze again. "It's alright, the worst part is over. I'm gonna make it feel good."
"Promise?"
Only y/n would ask him to promise that the worst part is over while he's sitting nearly balls deep in her. Just another reminder of how truly innocent this woman is. How she has got this far in life without being completely taken advantage of he doesn't know. But he's clearly the man to change that.
"I promise." He smiles placing a quick kiss on her lips. "Can I move?"
"Yeah." No confidence in her voice but he can't rely on that to motivate him to give her more time to adjust. He has to move or he might actually die.
Pulling back out earns a whimper making him reach down giving her clit plenty of attention and earning an immediate breathy moan, so even if there's pain he can mix it with pleasure that hopefully overpowers it.
He definitely can't last nearly as long as he hoped to but he'll definitely be holding out till she's came again.
Y/n feels her body slowly relaxing into the foreign sensation and after a couple more minutes the pain is nothing but a lost memory, her hands are grasping at the sheets and all she can focus on is how full she feels with the addition of Lando's fingers rubbing, pinching and pulling her clit makes her body course with a new feeling that she wishes would never disappear.
It's when her back arches up that Lando snaps out the feeling of euphoria that's been consuming him before he pushes her back down and loses all control as she contracts around him, sucking him impossibly deeper as he thrusts harder and deeper then definitely bruising her cervix when he spills his cum into her as she completely falls apart underneath him.
Lando even just has to roll her over on top of him so he can stay rooted in her.
"Fucking hell, y/n." Lando pants before feeling her face nuzzle down in his neck. "Hey, are you ok?"
There's a mumble and whine into his neck that he couldn't even begin to try and decode so instead he just sighs and rubs her back slowly pulling out of her by pulling her body up against his, which earns him another whine.
"Do you just want to stay here a bit longer?" Lando hums playing with her hair as he waits for her answer.
"Are you going to leave me?" Y/n whispers suddenly, peaking his interest since he didn't expect an insecure question to be what he got in reply.
"No. I'm not going to leave you. Why do you think I'd leave?"
"The girls said that you'd use me and then dump me." Y/n mumbles making his blood boil in a sudden hot rage.
"The girls are just fucking jealous, y/n. They've whored themselves out to every Tom, Dick and Harry. You've actually kept yourself for someone who means something-which I am honoured to be the first and only man you'll be with." Lando frowns making her look at him with big eyes, trying to blink away some tears. "Hey, no tears. You aren't getting rid of me, even if you wanted to."
"Ok. Sorry."
"No you-Y/n, you don't need to be sorry. Your friends are just being stupid and getting in your head over something that isn't even the truth."
He didn't stalk her because he knew she was a virgin for the taking, that just so happened to be a nice addition on this occasion.
"You know, from the moment I saw you. I knew we'd have something special." Lando grin making her smile lightly. Finally, a smile. "Now, we can stay here and cuddle for a bit then shower and clean up, and then you can let the girls know just how fucking wrong they are."
"I don't know if I can't do that." Y/n laughs nervously making him shrug and kiss her.
"I'll tell them then. That's ok." Lando smirks earning shy smile. "I mean what I said, I'll be the first and only man who gets between these glorious legs and access to that amazing pussy."
Y/n only gets flustered but manages a nod and "ok" in a nervous laugh before shoving her face into his neck, she might not be a virgin but anything too vulgar is too much for her to manage to listen to without getting shy about it.
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solradguy · 1 year
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How do i find the motivation to practice art? I have so many shitposts that’ll never come to fruition because my skills plateaued ):
No one else is going to draw my ideas and I'm too broke to pay someone else to do it for me. For better or worse, I seem to approach a lot of things from a "gotta do everything myself around here" angle haha
Honestly—and I won't lie to you—doing art studies is a real pain in the ass, I hate doing them. I never do them unless I've got major art block, and even then I still hate doing them, but it's like taking medicine and I know doing them will make me better. Every art teacher I've ever had's grilled me about this, "solradguy, you need to do 15 studies before the end of the week to get a full grade this quarter." Blah blah blah.
I guess for some people doing studies could be fun, not having to think about pose or composition, whatever, just putting lines down on paper and focus on your reference. One time, when I was still in college, I had to do a certain amount of studies in charcoal so I booted up Red Dead Redemption and drew landscapes or objects from it that I kinda liked. It was enough. I told my professor it was from my grandma's farm hehe
Art memes can be a good way to practice too, especially those ones about drawing in different styles or drawing a character in different outfits. They combine fun with tricking you into drawing things you might not normally draw. Emulating different art styles is the only art study method that doesn't make me want to fall asleep. Don't forget they're just art games though, and especially don't forget:
👉If You Already Feel Burnt Out Don't Feel Compelled To Complete Every Art Meme You Start👈
As you get better at art, you start noticing improvements less and less because they become more subtle. When you're really new to art, figuring out stuff like basic anatomy or shading is REALLY obvious because they're foundational parts of art. Hang on to your really old stuff and look at it every now and then and I guarantee you'll have improved way more than you thought you had.
I get the impression you've probably been at art for a while now, and I don't want to come across as patronizing, but sometimes refreshing the basics can help overcome a plateau too. Drawabox is usually what I recommend to people just getting into art, I really like their approach. Here's a link to their introduction lesson: drawabox.com/lesson/0 And here's one that skips to the actual art stuff: drawabox.com/lesson/1
While it's probably beneficial to actually do the exercises in the lessons, just skimming through reading them can be good too.
Something I've noticed a lot of my artists friends (and artists online) do is try to make every single drawing a finished piece, and I'm like "damn, no wonder art feels like such a chore." My sketchbook is 99% scribbles done in pen:
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I use Pentel RSVP fine point ballpoint pens so if I make a mistake I'm forced to deal with it. Doing these rough sketches before starting a bigger piece is something I recommend with my entire heart. Just get a pack of shitty $0.99 pens and doodle like it's high school math class. I like the cheap pens because you can get faint lines drawing lightly and can coax them into darker lines with a bit more pressure (and if you lose/break one it's no big deal).
The best way to get better at art is to keep putting lines on paper. Even if it's just silly pen doodles, you're still improving coordination/pen control, improving construction of basic shapes, exploring concepts, and thinking about art, which will lead to more new ideas and further inspiration.
Sorry this is long and meandering haha Hopefully something here helps at least a tiny bit.
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neo-shitty · 8 months
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the dead man didn’t have to look that hot 😫
#lmao i forgot i had this in my drafts#this is about anime ok… ik how weird it seems but bear with me#YUKI YOU WILL BE MISSED#THE PIERCINGS THE UNDERCUT#all this time i thought he had black hair i was mistaken??? he looks like some guy from haikyuu actually#just cant pinpoint who#i was talking abt given btw#its like my first BL anime lmao and i think that’s mild compared to others 💀💀 but like#i’ve only watched 🤨🏳️‍🌈❓ animes (*coughs* bsd-ish/banana fish) so seeing them admit outright theyre gay just :9 i never thought they actuall#do that HAHAH i thought it was all tension builds and yk assume what you want… i stand corrected and i found this might be the beginning#of my descent into BL madness… i get the hype now for fucks sake#THEY WERE SO ADORABLE!!!#given was such a fair mix of everything—easy to watch and all#when mafuyu sang i nearly cried 🙂 the pain he must’ve been keeping in after what happened i hope he knows it wasn’t his fault#i wish we explored more on his past but i think that would’ve made the series hurt more#on a lighter note—the other band members and the one-sided thing going on was just a funny side plot#uenoyama’s coolness dwindling when he realized he was catching feelings and his inability to handle them HAHA#THE LAST THREE EPISODES WERE JUST GOLD TO ME they were like full on angst and then downright hilarious#i loved it#5/5#i might eventually bump it down to 4s or 3s when i begin to move on from it but it was good to say the least#and not a waste of time hehe#toff.txt
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hanaasbananas · 11 months
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TERE BIN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THOSE LAST FEW MINUTES I AM SO ANGRY
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mieczyhale · 10 months
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you can dislike and hate literally any character in existence for whatever reason you could possibly conceive of and it's fine actually
AS LONG AS your reasoning isn't based on their race, gender, sexuality, religion, etc. go forth and feel whatever the fuck it is you feel about them for whatever reason or no reason there is
because this is fiction
it's fandom
it's fun
the rules are minimal and simple and nobody is allowed to police how you feel about things. nobody is allowed to police your opinions on some babygirl, no matter how much they love them. they can disagree with you, hate you, block you, think your wrong, vent on their own tumblr about it, etc. but they CAN'T tell you how to feel or how not to feel.
we don't do that here, sir. and anyone who GENUINELY tries to has not touched enough grass in the year of our saint milo fahey 2023
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erabundus · 1 year
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there are so many thinly veiled cries for help in ren's lashing out and it makes me very sad.
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lordsooga · 1 year
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Sooga for the Character opinion bingo!!!!!!!!
THE FUCKING MAN OF ALL TIME!!! man of the CENTURY light of my LIFE!!! i wish i was him. i wish i could be broken in half by him. i wish i could f--
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deathbypufferfish · 1 year
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I found the only Hanukkah item at TJ Maxx do I get a prize now??
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wild-houseplant · 2 years
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WIP Wednesday!
Well, after a few solid weeks of having absolutely nothing to offer to WIP anyday, I come bearing a snippet from quite a few chapters into HWWT. In specific, the exact moment Rhodri gets the idea she might actually fancy the man who has been shamelessly flirting with her for around half a year. CW for internalised ableism.
My thanks and apologies to @heniareth @siriskulksnerding @icylook @ollifree and @anna-the-great-and-terrible that this is soooo very delayed. On the bright side, it came out on a Wednesday! the wrong one by two weeks, but a Wednesday all the same! X) Can I tag you bunch back?? @rlainarin can I pester you for snippets friendo? @D@
The Warden beamed like she’d been the one given the gift, pushing off harder with her foot to rock herself a little quicker. Zevran bit his lip in a half-smile and shifted his newly-gloved hands to admire his gift and the giver all at once.
She had barely fallen into her new rhythm before she froze mid-sway. Her fingers tightened around her knees, foot replacing on the ground.
“Ah. Forgive me,” she mumbled, eyes dropping to the ground. “I know I’m not meant to. I just– it just happens sometimes, before I even realise I’m doing it.”
Zevran shuffled closer and rested a hand on her shoulder. “Mm? Why would you apologise for something like that, my lovely Grey Warden?”
“It’s offensive.”
“Eh? Offensive to who?”
“... Everybody.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Everybody?”
“Oh, truly?” Rhodri barked a bleak, bitter laugh that damn near stole the throat out of him. “I see the way people look at me, Zevran.”
Zevran caught the ache in his face and schooled it into a saucy grin. “How do they look at you, then?”
“They stare.”
“Mmm, I do stare at you, it’s true,” he declared airily.
“I know you do.”
He wagged his finger playfully. “Ah-ah! Not for the reason you might think. Come now, you must know you are very beautiful, Rhodri.”
“So is Morrigan. So are Alistair and Leliana. You don’t stare at them like that.”
Zevran took his lip in his teeth. “Oh? You think it’s impossible that I find you much more attractive than I do them?”
She appeared to consider this a moment. “No, I suppose not.”
“Good. In any case, you might wish to reconsider your stance on moving your body.” He squeezed her shoulder. “We are not like these uptight Fereldans, my dear. We are Northerners! Expressing ourselves is in our blood!”
Rhodri shrugged. “Not like this,” she said hollowly.
Zevran shrugged back with twice the grandeur. “Perhaps, but it would be boring if we all went about it the same way. I happen to find your way to be very enjoyable. It isn’t often people are so open with me, and it’s most refreshing.” He winked as obviously as he could manage, adding in a purr, “Charming, too.”
Her breath snagged loudly. Enough, he thanked the Maker, to cover the swell in his own chest from watching her face soften. A blush was staining her face the colour of wine, and in the process doing a damned fine job of evaporating his recollection of her months-long oblivion to his advances.
At last.
He shuffled a little closer, steadying his enthusiasm with a careful breath. “I’ve a question for you, my Warden, if I may.” 
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ooh the shadow man is appearing again ooooooh how scaryy
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daisyachain · 1 year
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the Banana Fish soundtrack cover is a vision of hell.
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selkiecoded · 1 year
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maybe chugging a full can of mountain dew isnt a great idea right before we have to be really quiet and move a bunch of heavy shit but who am i to opt out of tradition
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toytulini · 1 year
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god i still couldnt watch final destination tbh
#toy txt post#i remember walking in to my mom and her friend watching one of the paranormal activity movies? and being like#well this isnt that bad yall are just screaming everytime the camera moves at all which is frankly more startling than the movie#and i was like oh maybe i could watch horror actually#and then i think i watched either an entire ir at least part of a final destination movie and that specifically. bad for my brain lmao#im STILL haunted by that god fuck i will NEVER get lasik fuck that#idc how unrealistic or not actually scary it doesnt matter u see cos similar to the spn mirror episode#it was really scary in a way that imprinted itself on my little teenage brain so even if it is objectively Not That Scary.#what i remember it being is scary even if that memory is proven to be embellished. its like. well. we already thought up the scary image#lets just be scared anyway just in case lmaoooo#brains can be so fascinatingly stupid#anyway its good i never watch more of those movies than i already did tbh bc i could drive myself bananas with that content#i do find it interesting finding out which like horror tropes or types or whatever i Cannot deal with and whatever final destination has#going on is one of them i think cos i also couldnt deal w the fate ep of spn very well which had a similar vibe#of like. freak accidents that no amount of being careful couldve prevented or smth. idk#like in that log pic below this one#yea the logs cant hit u dead on now but like there could still be a freak shit to happen that could lead to the logs killing u
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notpoet06 · 26 days
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GOT THE SHAKES AGAIN!
IS IT MY MENTAL OR PHYSICAL HEALTH??
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thegladelf · 11 months
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The speed with which I went from “capitalism is flawed, but could work with more regulation” to “i think we should give socialism a try” the moment I was exposed to actual socialist and anarchists in 2020 really should be studied...
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