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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 4 months

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Wait im sorry if like youve talked about this before but what is everyones roles in the fantasy au 👁️👁️ or jobs?

i've just Thought Aloud in bits and pieces but hey. i feel like talking today so i'll put it all in one place with Updated Thinkings

(i like to imagine that they all kinda Quit their initial jobs/lives to go adventuring with each other, either by choice or... not. except Howdy, who's a multitasking king). the Neighborhood party earns their wages by completing jobs/quests, though some of them have minor supplemental ways of adding to the coin collection

Wally, of course, didn't really have much of a Before. he didn't intend on becoming a warlock/wizard - that choice was kinda made for him by the circumstances of his existence. but Wally had to pretend to be a wizard for his own safety, and wizards have a sort of societal expectation to be Helpful and Magical and Wise and Existing For Public Service. so while Wally would have rather just been a painter, he's obligated to be a wizard - that's technically his role/job. within the Neighborhood party, he's a bit of a distance fighter/support! he doesn't really do the whole up-close / physical aspect of battle, though he technically knows how. He casts spells from afar, which tend to be widely benign. artsy little cantrips and inconveniences to make it harder for the enemy to fight. he's also a bit of a bloodhound - illusions don't trick him, he can "see" most magic, and he's really good at getting around unnoticed. if they're stuck somewhere, Wally can probably get them out

Barnaby's "job" before going adventuring with Wally - it started out as just the two of them! - was just working on the farm with Ms. Beagle, where he had been his entire life. Sure he'd sometimes do public performances/acts in town, which would earn him extra coin, but that was more of a paying hobby than anything (a paying hobby he will Continue) in the Neighborhood, he's... uh. their cheerleader? that's not entirely inaccurate! he's not big on combat or effort i'd reckon, so he prefers to just keep morale high. offer background music, funny commentary, jokes to lighten the mood, mediate tensions, etc. if necessary, he makes good backup - he has his illusions of course, and he Does pack a mighty punch if need be! he's also very helpful when retreating - he can grab the smaller party members and run

Wormie is the group mascot <3

Sally was a bit lost before joining the party - i like to think that she was constantly on the move as part of a traveling theater troupe, but she wasn't the star or director. she was just part of the group, uninspired and with a full well of untapped potential. one day she up and left (dramatically) to find her own inspiration/muse & path to stardom, which ended up being several years of wandering until she happened across the budding Neighborhood and went "this! this will be the source of my stories!" as for her role, she's a bit of an everyman. front lines fighter, entertainer, mediator, etc. she views herself as the party "leader", or rather, their Manager. she keeps the party entertained with stories, and bolsters their reputation in the same manner. in a battle she's a bit of a powerhouse - her light magic is useful both in combat and entertainment! she keeps a "book" of the Neighborhood's exploits (she swears it will be edited/published someday) holy shit she's moominpappa, and in their Extended downtime she writes and throws plays inspired by their adventures at their home base (town).

Eddie was still, originally, a mailman. or i suppose in a fantasy setting - a courier! until one day he saw a group of people being attacked by some bandits, managed to fight them off, and immediately got roped into helping rescue the folks' entire town from the bigger group of bandits. then they told others about Eddie's help, they wanted his help too, one thing after another and now he's got a full set of armor, a sword, a shield, and his whole thing is saving people. huh? how did that happen? he was delivering letters a month ago! if i had to give him a title... i'd say he's a Protector! he seems like the type! he always has his fellow adventurer's backs - i bet he has his hands full trying to cover everyone at once. outside of combat, he's still very helpful and does whatever is asked of him / needed. collecting firewood! pitching tents! stirring soup! getting Frank to remove a centipede from camp! in downtime he probably takes small bodyguarding gigs. he also is a minor healer - he took some sorta oath for some sorta god (or virtue) that he can't remember, but he has minor healing/cleansing powers. he's also good at sniffing out evil & dark magic! some would joke that he's the party's guard dog

Frank was raised in a monastery that believes in "using your body to fight for the greater good". this was not his job when they became old enough to actually Act on his training! nah they ran away in his mid teens because they wanted to fight things on his own terms. also they want to study bugs more than anything, which he does! for a long time! then they meet a certain princess, befriends her, and helps her run away. he only joins the Neighborhood because Julie wants to, and it's a good way to travel - read: study more arthropods - and earn coin. fighting is a bonus aspect Frank's role is... front line fighter, bookkeeper, and the Guy Who Knows Things! what monster are they dealing with? what are its strengths/weaknesses? Frank probably knows! can they afford a room or two at an Inn? Frank knows (no, they cannot)! who's throwing themself into direct mortal danger with gusto? it's Frank! no but really, Frank is like their resident nerd who can beat pretty much all of them in hand-to-hand. in downtime he probably has a garden purposefully full of plants that can be left alone for long periods of time... maybe they sell half the things grown for extra coin!

Julie, of course, was a princess! that was her whole job! it was incredibly boring and restricting, so she ran away with the help of a funny nerd. after that her whole life was just "avoid getting recognized while figuring out how to live in a world without the comforts/ease of castle life". i'd think she much prefers her new one! as a role, Julie joins Barn and Sally in the "entertainment category". while they entertain with humor/stories respectively, Julie goes straight for games and activities to fill the lull between action. keep the blood pumping, spirits high, and bonds Solid! camp games, road games, locked-in-a-dungeon games! in combat, she's on the front lines with her oversized sword. i think another fitting role would be "navigator" - she can ask plants for directions! technically Julie is a secret powerhouse. her flora magic is insanely powerful, though she prefers not to use it for several reasons

Poppy, i like to think, did indeed have a bakery. it was well-loved in her community, her staff were wonderful people, and it all burned down in a night due to raiders. luckily for Poppy and her town, Eddie was nearby and got on the case to get rid of their problem - maybe Poppy felt obligated to help in some shape or form, and Eddie wound up inspiring her to learn healing magic. She moved into the town that would become the not-yet-existing Neighborhood's HQ to try and restart her business, but it just wasn't the same, and she had gotten a taste of what it would be like to directly save/heal people Poppy is the party's cook, healer, and ultimate voice of caution! the most she'll do in battle is sprint into danger to drag an injured person to safety for healing - she doesn't have a combative bone in her body i'd guess! does she enjoy being in the Neighborhood? eh... it's stressful and terrifying, but she couldn't live with herself if she let them all brave the wild without an adequate healer OR an adequate cook. i like to think that she saw the state they were traveling in and went "oh no"

Howdy, of course, has his tavern! it's a popular hub for travelers, townsfolk, pretty much anyone and everyone. of course it helps that it's the only tavern in town! the only reason Barnaby managed to convince Howdy to join the Neighborhood on one of their jobs is because Howdy realized that he can widen his net & sell to new people On The Go. finally, a use for that magic backpack collecting dust in his room! Howdy got a taste for adventuring and joins the Neighborhood every once in a while, usually only for shorter jobs - he doesn't want to be away from his tavern for too long his roles are support, professional haggler, sarcastic commentary. he doesn't have a crumb of magic in him, but he's clever! he's learned how to make his own support items - including his fancy revolvers with magical crayonsbullets. Howdy rarely fights, choosing to watch over his pack, dole out items when needed, and listen to Barnaby's running commentary. when it is necessary that he join in on combat, he can usually clear the playing field in a matter of moments. he's skilled with both the revolvers and using his own items - he's a one man four armed army!

Home's job is "keep Wally upright and powered". they prefer to be an observer in all situations, even after their existence becomes common knowledge to the Neighborhood. the most Home will do is nudge Wally in the right direction or alert him to something important. Home's literally just hanging out behind Wally's eyes w/ a bucket of popcorn. unless something happens to his beloved little puppet, in which case Home becomes the biggest baddest bitch around and sends everyone else to the bench

tl;dr: Wally: support fighter, magic geiger counter, escape artist Barnaby: entertainer, backup Wormie: mascot Sally: storyteller, fighter, Manager Eddie: protector, minor healer, "paladin" Frank: bookkeeper, fighter, scholar Julie: activities director, navigator, fighter Poppy: cook, healer, overthinker Howdy: tavernkeeper, inventor, support Home: just keeping an eye out

#THERE'S A TL;DR AT THE END BTW #YOU DONT HAFTA READ ALL THAT #honestly thinking about them fighting is so funny #bc like... out of the 9 of them technically only 5 actually fight #Unless frank needs to sit one out to research #then its 4!#so you've got four guys fighting for their fucking lives while everyone else is just vibing off to the side #honestly half of the appeal of fantasy aus is the Fun Combat Aspect #not only the actual fights but also! sparring! practicing with each other!#its about frank teaching wally how to throw a punch & wally immediately decking him right in the face! Accidentally!#its also about the Camping. and the Healing. and the Trusting Each Other With Your Lives.#found family it up babeyyyyyyy #rambles from the bog #wh fantasy au #just realized that ~In Canon~ if anything the neighbors are Forced Family #they dont have a choice! they're in it together whether they like it or not!#and i say 'if anything' bc ehhhh i dont really think they count... are they more like coworkers? but yk #this is an au post i cant be speculating on The Delightful Source here

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bumblingbabooshka · 3 months

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“I have a home and a spouse on Vulcan.“ - Tuvok, St Voyager: Alter Ego Redraw of this: X Patreon | Ko-fi

#Tuvok's GNC wife - GNC mother to his children #Tuvok/T'Pel cheating scandal where someone goes up to T'Pel like I saw your husband with a man the other day and T'Pel looks at the picture #and it's just her #I HAATE that old art!!! But I do love this concept so I'm glad I redrew it <3 #looking at old art is always like 'making a lot of choices I see - all of them incorrect but still'#and YET!!! That just shows you've improved!! I'm sure in 2 years this art too will make me groan #bea art tag #T'Pel #st voy #st voyager #star trek #Janeway: Who's that man who let me into your house? / Tuvok: ? That was T'Pel.#Tom: You have a husband AND a wife?? / Tuvok: ? That is T'Pel.#trans Vulcan

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joy-crimes · 5 months

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Isn't weird how in Kingdom Hearts, one of the few people of color is portrayed as being inheritly evil & malicious...just some food for thought :)

#you misused the word inherently #like there's nothing to suggest he's the antagonist for no reason other than personal choice #but KH still has a racism and colorism problem #also god the whole “i'm telling you this like you've never thought about it before” attitude is really grating #like even though i agree with u i wish u would use more tact when ur talking to someone u dont know #did u like... expect me to disagree w/ u?

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loppiopio · 7 months

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in water, fleas will drown.

#durarara #izaya orihara #shizuo heiwajima #shizaya #a cheap imitation #i made a thing #for chapter 44 #hwaaaaaagh #special thanks to @stray-tori for massively helping me out with the poses for me to redraw from #also for shading the character art!! and for generally enabling me :)#the idea came to me all of sudden weeks before but i didn't think it'd be that funny to anyone other than me #but i told tori about the idea out of context and she thought it was funny so #but yeah what a grueling sprint this was #i made a whole deal about it on twitter lol #“two days from now i will share the best marketing you've ever seen except it's also a spoiler.”#“read or ruin. make your choice.”#and gave myself 48 hours from that point to grind my ass out on this #also my friends were supposed to read the chapter before i posted it #i'd done some gradual work on it leading up to that but a loooot of what you are seeing in that video was busted out in those 48 hours #or at least the last 24 hours lol #in true aci fashion i fucked around and did nothing for the whole first day 💀#it was a struuuuggle to get this done but i knew if i didn't finish it that day then it would never get done #i'm super happy with how it turned out though :D #especially with how absolutely dogshit garbage it looks all crunched up to hell and back #tbh the hardest part was drawing (redrawing) shizuo and izaya i am so painfully slow at drawing #the compositing and absolutely fuuuuucking up the quality of it was a long process but really fun for me actually #the most effort i've put into a marketing so far #we're not done yet though idk if i can do anything of this calibre again but who knows #oh btw thank you thank you anyone who tags my stuff it gives me much smile thank you

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dollypopup · 19 days

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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!

like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.

and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye

you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .

when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?

if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self

and that's that on that

#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion #tagging it #polin #sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired #of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag #and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc #you can't change my mind #if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market #realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market #try to get over him w/ whomstever #but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here #i am asleep #and i am courting colin in your place pen #i'm coming for your man #anti debling #if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead #it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity #and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves #and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto #so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more #and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love #which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do #anyways y'all ain't slick #and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??

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saint-ambrosef · 1 year

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someone will go on about how horrible their experience with the public education system is. that it ruined their teenage mental health, didn't teach them shit, taught them to put all their worth in academic success, suffered bullying and self-esteem issues, etc.

but bring up home schooling and they're instantly like "bUt wHaT aBOuT soCiaLiZInG??"

as if the miserable experience of eight hour school days they just described is the only means (or superior form) of socialization for kids.

#also like #putting aside the stupid stereotype of home schooled kids as 'weird' or w/e #i would much rather have a happy confident and well-adjusted kid thats a little socially awkward #than a kid that can talk street lingo but lacks self-esteem and suffers from crushing social-induced depressive episodes #like is this really a choice. really.#for every awkward home schooled kid youve met i promise you've met ten other “normal” people that you didnt even know were home schooled #also shit man i've met a fuck ton of kids who went to regular school who were weird AF

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cozylittleartblog · 3 months

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Just wanted to mention this to someone who does art and get their opinion on it:

Sometimes I see some artists do redraws of their old artworks or characters and think "Wow, uh... their older art looks better." Sometimes it's only mildly better, but other times it's vastly better. Like the Upgrade, Go Back! meme.

I understand that art skills are supposed to develop and change, hopefully for the better, but sometimes it just feels like they got... worse? Somehow? Idk. Maybe it's because they were copying another artist's style while finding their own, and it's their own style that doesn't vibe with me? Just curious what your thoughts are about this.

Also, your art has consistently been great, so this isn't directed at you.

I do see this on occasion yeah! usually (in my experience anyway) its because people take a sharp turn towards a stylization that either isn't to your or most people's tastes, or that they don't understand or are still developing. switching up how you stylize your art is like starting over in a sense, you're changing from what you have practice with and that's always going to cause you to revert some as you have to re-learn things you understood in your previous style. i had a pretty big style shift in 2014 when i took up the basis for how my art looks now, and i remember feeling like some of the stuff i was drawing might have looked better if i was using my older style instead. that's something artists just have to push through and figure out, and they'll likely come out of it a better artist than they were before. constructive critiques are a good way for them to figure out why their art might not be as "good" as it used to be, if they're open for those.

art is not always a linear journey, and i would also say things like passion and motivation have a part in it too. feeling inspired sparks you to make something the best it can be, if you're not feeling it (and esp if that feeling lasts for a long time) it'll leave you making decisions you otherwise would not have let fly, and that can result in worse art. and some of it is just personal preference! it's not that their art is better or worse, it's just different now, and maybe that doesn't vibe with you the same way their old stuff did. and that's fine 👍

(thank you! :3 i admittedly struggle a bit with Not Feeling It sometimes like i just described, so it's nice to know people still enjoy what i make when that feeling hits.)

#ask #anonymous #anon #art talk #or occasionally its because they let the h-rny take over and um. they get Grotesque about it whhjbdfdfg #i saw someone post a before and after fanart pic of tasque manager on twitter and everyone was like omg you've improved so much!#and they were all talking about. the older piece. because the newer one had some Proportions that werent even sexy they were just uhhhhhhhh #deviantart would be impressed. lets say #and just generally some of the other anatomy and rendering got way wonkier and broken from the earlier one too. it was strange #the weird thing is the older one was also a lil spicy/exaggerated but it was like tasteful and the anatomy was solid and it had some good #coloring and rendering choices etc etc. idk thats always the first example i think of because there were so many comments #pointing out - inadvertently - that the new art was Worse. but i do see it sometimes. i also think of um #there is some notorious artist whos style suddenly got really transphobically stylized. and racist #you'd think it was a troll but it was real. and most of their older art was actually p good is the weird fuckin thing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#why'd you kneecap yourself like that bro. i dug around a bit and the artist was rcdart #i feel like most of the examples i've seen of this are COMICALLY bad. like the artist got brain damage #anyway thats a novels worth of text but tldr yeah it do be like that sometimes. rip

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natjennie · 4 months

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OKAY why do yall have to have the worst nastiest most rotted bad faith interpretations of things ever the episode was incredible what the fuck is wrong with you

#you cant love something?#you've never heard of 'if you love something let it go'#????#like okay tell me you dont understand narrative structure without telling me #because the difference is they chose it! they voted! they decided!#all the other times leading up to this that alison has considered leaving it was never going to work #it was in desperation and full of schemes and tricks and barely scraping by #of course this time was different!#instead of NEEDING to sell the house. it was a choice #instead of alison leaving them it was them letting alison go.#do you GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#it was actually perfect!!!!!!!!!!!#alison has always been the audience surrogate. and they made it so literal #like we are separated from the ghosts now but that doesnt mean we cant come back #that doesnt mean we cant love them #and even from the pov of the writers! you're leaving this story by choice #youre not being forced into another season or trying to scrape together every last penny #they're still there! we're just going our separate ways!#where's that art that's like. different relationships and its lines running parallel and away and intertwining #ghosts has always been about doing things in your own time and unconventional expressions of love and family and growth #i thought it was perfect okay!!!!!!!!!!#if you're mad i get it feel how you feel #but the themes stayed theming. i thought it worked perfectly #remind me to never trust when yall say things are bad #bbc ghosts #ghosts spoilers

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tanituo · 7 months

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spoilers for bg3 dark urge playthrough

i have a hc in my second durge run that my durge was initially orin's mentor. because she's sarevok's granddaughter, she's technically the dark urge's grand-niece, right? and knowing that the dark urge was a prolific serial killer in baldur's gate, i imagine my durge as having passed their skills on to orin. he taught her to carve flesh from bone with a delicate yet cruel hand. and when the time came for orin to betray him, to make a mess of his brain and to subject him to his own evil plot, i imagine my durge as maybe even being a little proud. the sting of being usurped was made sweeter by the knowledge that he trained the hand that twisted the knife and puppeted his sinews. to be so viscously torn apart was in and of itself holy, a beautiful, bloody, miserable act of devotion. because that's how both he and orin were raised--they were born to become vessels of suffering, living to die.

which makes it all the more confusing for orin when he returns and is different. when he's less fun to toy with, less delighted by the agony she puts him through. when she steals his friends or leaves nauseating carrion in her wake for him to uncover, he shows no masochistic joy. instead only fear. and normally she likes fear, but it's wrong on his face. she used to be seen as his inferior, and yet it took only the rearranging of a little grey matter to make him a pathetic, sentimental, weepy mess than clings to idealism and fragile new friends? what evil could bhaal have mistakenly seen in him to make him his chosen?

but his great evil never negated his simultaneous capacity for great good. she doesn't know that in undoing him, she allowed him to be reborn. that he has known love and has been changed for it. and she will never understand why, as he steps foot into the temple of bhaal and drives his blade through her heart upon their foul god's altar, there is no joy taken in the act of ending her life. the expression on his face is not one of malevolence, but one of pity.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #dark urge #durge #durge spoilers #dark urge spoilers #orin the red #bg3 orin #bg3 is absolutely FULL of different discussions on the inherency of evil and good and i adore it #you are given multiple opportunities in the game to discuss nurture vs nature #and a good durge playthrough makes the theme so much more poignant #which made me think about orin and how that if she were in durge's shoes and could start over and be shown love and compassion and kindness #i feel as though she would have been equally capable of choosing good #even with the other origin companions #every character arc consists of some major choice #in which they have to decide for themselves the kind of person they will be and the kind of life they will lead #and if you've built strong enough relationship with them and shown them kindness then they'll often choose the high road for themselves #ugh i love this game

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regallibellbright · 8 months

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WIP Wednesday, or, I Guess I'm Writing This Now, the idea would not leave me for two days.

“Neku… why the hell are you dating him?” Rindo asks. “Actually, forget that, why didn’t you shoot him?”

“A question we have all been asking ourselves, some of us daily, for the last three and a half years,” Mr. H says.

“Speak for yourself,” Neku says.

“You’re the only one who hasn’t. I have, Beat and Shiki have. Rhyme got a sense of your emotions at the time and they still question your judgment,” Joshua says.

#writing with regalli #joshneku #in fairness Neku is also judging RINDO'S dating choices #also in fairness: It is a very good question when you've only just gotten the end of TWEWY dumped in your lap in the most blase way possibl #and for many other reasons!

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howtosingit · 1 year

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I’m gonna be honest, Carlos gently patting TK’s calf as he stands up from the couch has rendered me completely useless and I will literally never recover from it

AND I MEAN LITERALLY

#it's sometimes so hard to understand how much you long for this kind of intimacy in media when you've never really had it #but then you get it and you're like 'oh my god' and it kind of just sinks into your chest t and becomes this core thing in a way #and it's just this one small moment in an episode full of fantastic moments #and it wasn't even an acting choice meant to draw attention #it was the most natural thing in the world #but like... I can't stop watching it happen #this episode has done something to me that I can't explain #the repeated verbalization of love from these two #the way it was so clearly expressed without words too #the way they don't feel the need to define their love to others because it's THEIRS #but they also don't hesitate to share what the other means to them #THE WAY THAT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS ACTUALLY BASICALLY CANON NOW #THE WAY THAT THIS MAN IS LITERALLY HIS WHOLE HEART #LIKE WHAT THE FUCK #ls spoilers #911 lone star #tarlos #this show was never supposed to do this to me #this is absolutely stupid

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izzyspussy · 25 days

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i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know!#or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water''#or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me''#etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain.#absolutely fucking exhausting

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crossdressingdeath · 2 years

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I will never be over how Sera was raised by a noblewoman who left everything she had to her in her will (which was a sizable fortune and would've set her up for a long time, if not for life), and then that inheritance was stolen from her by the government through a variety of excuses because she was an elf, and she still insists that elves aren't "little people". Like... she was a noblewoman. The game tries very hard to gloss over that fact, but she was adopted and raised by a noblewoman from a young age and all of said noblewoman's holdings and possessions were left to Sera in her will. Sera was absolutely a noblewoman. And that was stolen from her because she was an elf. How the hell do you live through that and still claim that elves need to stop complaining about their lot in life and any elf who chooses to spit in the face of human oppression and hold onto their own ways is too elfy? In fact, how do you live through that and deem the noblewoman who raised you and left you her entire fortune lying about a baker hating elves out of foolish pride as more worthy of mention than the Fereldan government stealing your inheritance because you were an elf?

Like... that's the bit that really gets me. Sera went from quite possibly one of the most privileged elves in all of Ferelden to having nothing because the Fereldan government refused to let an elf have that power. Even with the cookie story the whole lie only worked because enough people hated elves that Sera didn't question being told that this particular guy also hated elves. And she still refuses to accept that elves face constant discrimination to the point where even elves who manage to claw their way to a position of some power and privilege can lose it all in a second if their own people and government get sick of having to see an elf who holds power and no one will step in to help them. I can almost understand Sera's fear of magic, since if she ever met a mage it would've been an apostate and they would've been keeping a low profile. But Sera faced the way elves are mistreated head on, and she still acts like they aren't the very definition of "little people"? Come on.

#other things i will never be over: the fact that you only learn about sera losing her inheritance if you read wot #like really. you deemed a story about her adoptive mother buying cookies instead of baking them more important than that #bioware what is this choice you've made #dragon age inquisition #sera critical #also i think too many people forget that SERA WAS A FUCKING NOBLEWOMAN #which makes her refusal to acknowledge the stakes during dai just SO much worse #this is not her first experience with high society! she's just jeopardizing the cause for shits and giggles!#she should absolutely know better!

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