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#ik ik i'm not the first to point this out
theyluvkarolina · 20 hours
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𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐁𝐘𝐄, 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓
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· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` So, I don't blame you, if you want to bury me in your memory, I'm not the girl I ought to be ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚
𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃?: Yes! (Part of 1K Event!)
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Loving Lando is like how the Earth circles the sun. In absolute awe and admiration. But the Earth is slowly destroying itself in the presence of this star. The rays of this sun are burning away at this Earth’s ozone layer, maybe even going as far into this Earth’s core.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ Lando Norris x Fem!Driver!Reader
𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 ୨୧ Amna Al Qubaisi
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ fighting, misogyny (not by the grid or lando), reader is kinda… bitchy?? (based off of high adrenaline, and insecurities that overtake her mind.)
𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ God. Whenever I hear this song and think about Lando, all i think about is him and Luisiha. :( Again, I made this not in a SMAU format i’m used to. I decided to make the reader replace Daniel for the fic (I STILL LOVE HIM I PROMISE 😭😭)I hope you still like it! Tbh, I feel like I didn't do this request justice. If I have a chance some point in time, I might rewrite it.
𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐏𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ୨୧ 1.3K words!
1K EVENT MASTERLIST
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f1
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♡ liked by mclaren, maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and others
f1 Lando wins it in Miami, winning his first race! Congratulations! 👏
tagged ; landonorris
3,219 comments
username1 LANNNDOOOO
username2 lando has finally landed 🥹
username3 HE FINALLY DID IT!!
carlosainz55 congratulations cabrón! Welcome to the winners side 😉
→ landonorris glad to finally be part of the club 👊
maxverstappen1 lando nowins no more 👏
→ landonorris haha funny 😒
georgerussel63 congrats mate!!
username5 has anyone noticed that y/n hasen’t liked or commented? :(
username6 ik!! usually she is always the first or second person to do both whenever he gets podium…
username7 no because did anyone see how y/n was staring at Lando with his trophy??
→ username8 I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE. → username9 she looked at him like he was ripping her heart out 🙁 → username10 I mean, y/n has been in f1 for what, 2 more years than him and still no win. I know it's just eating her up inside. → username11 I hope she gets her win soon and shuts up the misogynists. → username12 it sucks that the team did a absolute shit strategy when the safety car stopped her and made lando gain her stop.. but I’m still happy for him!!
y/n_l/n
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♡ liked by visacashapprb, yukitsunoda, sophiafloersch and others
y/n_l/n Miami ? Done ✅
tagged ; visacashapprb
2,350 comments
username13 she didn’t even post her podium photo :(
username14 if i were her i wouldn’t either.
username15 can she idk, be happy for lando?
→ username16 no way you are suggesting this girl be happy after she lost her chance to overtake lando because of the safety car, taking away what may be the second woman to win a f1 race next to Desiré Wilson, after years of misogyny, and men telling her she doesn’t have a place in motorport along with other women. → username17 god how i love you @ username16. SOMONE ACTUALLY USES THEIR BRAIN
visacashapprb wonderful work as per usual!
→ username18 for someone who has been in f1 for 8 years? hell no. → username19 someone is jelly → username20 they aren’t jealous they are just stating a fact 😂 → username21 the fact that they are saying how she should be winning stuff after 8 years? → username22 obviously. since she came she hasn’t won anything → username23 lance stroll, kevin magnussen, and nico hulkenburg are calling buddy and they are saying your misogyny is showing. 💀 → username24 LMAOOAOA YOU GO @ username23
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In Person
Saying that the end of the race was a disappointment was an understatement. For the past eight years, it only felt like the world was out to get you.
The constant criticism, misogyny, the occasional car failures, Lance Stroll's grotesque driving skills, and now, Lando winning his first Grand Prix but with the cost of you losing your position due to a shitty strategy mistake. It's frustrating, to say the least.
Being in love with Lando has its ups and downs. And as of right now? A hard low. As his partner, you want to kiss him all over his sunkissed face, going over each birthmark with tenderness. Congratulate him. Tell him how proud you are of him for finally achieving what he has been aiming for years. Ruffle those chestnut curls that you love dearly as you both stand on the podium, covered in sticky champagne as the fizzy liquid cascades over you, creating a tingling sensation on your skin you both embrace, the rainbows of confetti dancing in the air to the ground, trophy in his hands.
Yet, as a driver, you despise him. That haunting smile that glances over now and then, that sterling silver trophy dazzling in the light, blinding you as if it were the shining teeth of someone laughingly mocking you. God, how you hated it.
After closing the door to the driver's room, you swiftly remove the carbon fiber helmet, peeling off the balaclava that clings to my face, leaving my hair matted against my skin. With a surge of frustration, you glance angrily at the helmet before flinging the helmet to the ground, the sound reverberating through the room. Your breathing quivers as you gaze at the floor before ultimately slumping against the wall adjacent to the door, back against it. Running a hand through your damp hair, you rub my temple, feeling the weight of the day's events.
How did you get to this point? 
“Where in the world have you been, you muppet? You just up and left after the national anthems.” Lando's voice broke you out of your trance as he stood by the door, remembering you didn't lock the door. "I didn't even get to spray the champagne on you like usual." He adds with a frown.
"Not now, Lando." You stated looking down at your hands as you picked the skin around your nails to cope. His face still held a frown, yet he raised a brow at your tone.
"Not now?" He repeats, almost confused by your comment. "What's wrong? Talk to me."
"I said not now, Lando," You repeat, my voice growing more insistent. "I just need some space right now."
Lando's expression softens as he takes a step closer, concern evident in his eyes. "Hey, come on. You can talk to me. I know today didn't go as planned, but we can work through this together." 
My frustration boils over, and I finally look up to meet his gaze. "You don't get it, do you? This could have been my chance. My chance to finally prove that I belong here. Actually- no, not me, but every woman. That we won't be not some- some girls here for some representation to make F1 seem better but to show that we belong here! That we are as good as men! And that shitty strategy screwed me over, and now it seems like I am a shit driver..." You snap in exasperation.
“I never tried to say that I understand.” Lando glared. His expression hardens, and he takes a step back, hurt evident in his eyes. "You know that's not true. You're an incredibly talented driver, and one bad race doesn't define you."
You scoff, feeling the weight of his words but unable to fully accept them. "Easy for you to say. This ‘one bad race’ has been multiple races. You've had your moment of glory today. You got the lavish celebration you’ve been wanting.“
You scoff, feeling the weight of his words but unable to fully accept them. "Easy for you to say. This ‘one bad race’ has been multiple races. You've had your moment of glory today. You got the lavish celebration you’ve been wanting.“
Lando shakes his head, his frustration creeping into his voice. "This isn't about me. It's about us! I want you to succeed just as much as I want to succeed. We’re a team, even if we are on other racing teams. But pushing me away and shutting me out won't solve anything. What’s with all this?“
“Don’t you get it, Lando?! You’re perfect now! You have fans who love you, you have a secure seat, and you have a win now Lando! All you need is a championship! You don’t have people telling you that you don’t belong here because you have talent. You have people who support you even when your team makes a stupid mistake and they still defend you! The second I do something wrong, even when it's team orders, I'm belittled and told to go back to do my "role" as a housewife! God, I can't even get time to be with my boyfriend or friends before getting screamed at by middle-aged men that I'm a 'grid fucker' and that I had sex to get to where I am!"
Lando’s face falls at your words, a mix of offense and hurt flashing in his eyes. “You think I don’t understand pressure? I get it, alright? I get that it’s different for you, and it’s unfair. But pushing everyone away, pushing me away, isn’t the answer.”
You stand up, your body tense with the weight of your frustration and sadness. “I’m not pushing you away, Lando. I’m trying to cope with the fact that no matter what I do, it’s never enough. And seeing you succeed, seeing everyone praise you, it just… it just makes it harder.”
Lando steps closer, his voice softer now. “I want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t let me in. We’re supposed to be in this together. Isn’t that what we promised each other?”
You look at him, your heart aching at the sight of his earnest expression. “It’s not that simple. I can’t keep pretending that everything’s okay when it’s not. And I can’t stand beside you, smiling, when I feel like I’m drowning.”
He reaches out to touch your arm, but you pull away. “Please, don’t. I need to find my way through this, Lando. And I can’t do that if I’m constantly comparing myself to you.”
Lando’s eyes widen with realization. “You’re breaking up with me.”
A lump forms in your throat, tears welling up. “Don't put it like that..” I start. Lando tries to talk but I beat him to it. "I'm... not necessarily breaking up with you. It's more of a... "Goodbye"."
"That's technically still breaking up with me," Lando mutters, a tiny, barely noticeable smile cracking through onto his lips at the light attempt at a joke to ease the growing tension. I let out a tearful giggle.
Lando’s smile crumples into a frown and he takes a shaky breath. “I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You aren't losing me... I love you too,” you whisper, your voice breaking. “But right now, love isn’t enough. I need to stand on my own two feet, without always feeling like I’m in your shadow.”
He looks away, blinking rapidly, trying to hide the growing tears in his greenish-blue eyes. “This isn’t how I wanted today to end. I wanted today to be happy. For us both.”
“Neither did I,” you say softly, placing a hand on his cheek, moving his head to look at you while you skim your fingers over his birthmarks. “But sometimes, things don’t go as planned.”
There’s a long, painful silence between you, filled with all the things left unsaid. Finally, Lando nods, his eyes shining with unshed tears, leaning over to press a tender kiss onto your forehead. 
“Goodbye, then,” Lando whispers. 
In response, you bend forward, placing your lips against his own, kissing him softly, both our lips brushing lightly as if savoring the moment for what may be the last time experiencing such a feeling.
“Goodbye, my British sweetheart.” You replied, voice narrowly above a whisper.
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𝐀/𝐍 2 : Ending tbh is kinda cringey but oh well it felt right in the moment 😫
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sketch-shepherd · 1 year
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Yoshihiro was really like “I will allow these physically disabled dogs to kick absolute ass in battle but I draw the line at strong female characters”
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kkujo · 7 months
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also idk i feel so fucking good abt myself idk genuinely being consistent with my gym routine has done everything for my mental health and confidence like i still feel bad abt myself sometimes but for the first time since i was probably 9 i'm having days where i look in the mirror and thinking DAMN i look good and those days are getting more frequent it's really the best feeling
#and it's not just the weight loss like. being overweight was such a struggle for me esp bc i've had issues w eds and stuff and.#idk it made me miserable. and i wasn't the healthiest bc i'd gained a lot due to pcos and my periods were irregular etc like it wasn't good#and now i'm medicated and fuck man my period is regular now and my weight is more normal and i just feel like. good abt that#bc i spent so long being unable to lose bc of my hormones and it was so disheartening bc i was doing everything 'right'#i feel a little bad talking abt it bc ik it's a sensitive topic and i have had issues w eds i obv don't think weighing less makes u healthy#etc etc. for me it was the healthy thing to lose what i've lost so i'm proud of that and i did all of that mostly without relapsing#over 2 years and i've had like. maybe a month of relapse total over that time and each time i've come out of it after a week or two#so i'm definitely stronger mentally etc BUT. my point is. the confidence hasn't come from trying to be smaller#and now i'm actively trying to build muscle and for the first time ever my confidence comes from looking BIGGER bc i want muscle growth etc#the confidence truly comes from within and when i was overweight i started to give myself that confidence#by starting to wear cute clothes and stop hiding my body#it is so true that losing weight won't make you like yourself or your body.#like. you can lose weight if you want but you HAVE to respect yourself first. i lost a lot of weight unhealthily in 2019 and regained it#& bc i did it out of self hatred i NEVER felt better abt myself when i got smaller. you rlly have to be able to love yourself as you are rn#it's cliche but very very true#anyway i don't rlly talk abt this stuff on here bc ik it's a sensitive topic but!!!#i really would recommend weightlifting and strength training if you wanna feel more confident#ik it won't work for everyone but for me it's genuinely transformed the way i see myself.#i no longer try to force myself to be as small as possible. and for me that's everything yk#ALSO LIKE. THE MENTAL HEALTH ASPECTS. just having the routine and getting exercise and getting out every day rlly helps too#i really would recommend it i've never felt better or more confident abt myself#the only thing is unfortunately and it's a very real problem but gym/gym bro culture often leans v close to e/d culture#it really sucks bc a lot of gym folks genuinely do love it and are very healthy with it#but the chicken and rice gym bro types are pretty rampant too and there's a LOT of dysmorphia and such in the community#so i kind of avoid gym bro circles for that reason bc i do think a lot of people take it too far and are very mentally unhealthy with it#but weightlifting/going gym in itself isn't the problem and if you're eating properly & taking care of yourself it's not gonna be like that#it's just knowing the types of ppl to avoid bc a lot of the mindset is pretty toxic 😭😭 but there are def a lot of ppl who do it healthily#like. i understand why people do it but i'm kind of against bulking/cutting at least for myself#bc for me it's not abt looking as strong as possible it's abt being fit and healthy physically & mentally if i look buff asf that's a bonus#but a lot of ppl take bulks/cuts too far & a lot of it is just regurgitated e/d shit unfortunately. just b careful who you interact with
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layalu · 9 months
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10+ hours in and i'm still avoiding giant's deep oops
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technoxenoholic · 2 years
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vocal dysphoria has this awful snowball effect for me because being anxious makes my vocal cords tighter which makes my voice higher which makes my dysphoria worse which makes me more anxious... you get me?
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jonathanrook · 8 months
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okay but the problem is. and the reason i don't actually id as ace. is that i have. ya'know. been sexually attracted to people before. two. to be specific.
#okay so in hs i thought i was demi which ik is on the ace spectrum#but there were some flaws in that logic. those namely being. i had never actually been attracted to someone before.#in hs okay. you need to hear me out on this. in hs i was doing like. compulsive bisexuality??#i figured out i was queer but didn't know how really so i was randomly picking all sorts of crushes. not just guys like anyone.#which is why fun fact to this day i still don't know how many people i've actually ever had a crush on lmao bc i'd even lie in my diaries#but i know some of them were real but it was just like. a little romantic attraction.#and everyone i had a crush on (real or fake for the most part) i was friends w so demi whatever.#BUT THEN. 2019. the unthinkable happens. dan howell comes out and i realize i'm a dyke.#it didn't actually happen exactly in that order but it's funnier to explain it that way.#anyway. like a week later i met the second hottest person i've ever seen in my life ever.#side note i'd already met the hottest but i have Sieve Brain and i genuinely don't remember how that went at all in the slightest#so the second hottest will have to do as my point of reference forgive me#anyway before i even knew her name. Salivating. insane.#and to this day i've still only been attracted to those two people. not even celebrities.#i don't know what “celebrity crush” means and at this point i'm too afraid to ask.#but i feel like i'm fairly old to have only wanted to. like. fuck two people. that seems like a low number. i don't know how this works.#and it's not demi if i didn't get to know them first right?#ace people explain y'all are smarter than me real#but it literally is still like i don't understand you people and your. sex. why are you like that.#rachel rants
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 1 year
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As someone who has played FE since FE7 came out in the west and have since played the games prior to and after it, I really don’t see how Engage is “the best FE game of all time” and yadda yadda that people keep claiming. Just because it has more customization and “freedom” doesn’t... automatically make it a better game? Personally I get more aggravated when there’s too much freedom and too many options for gameplay. Even Houses had a tad too much customization that I rarely use because it had so many menus and I love Houses.
Sure, I liked Engage, but I can’t see why it’s suddenly the bestest theeng evur just because it’s the newest entry. I had more fun with Hopes playing AG than the entirety of Engage, and I can compare them because they both reused old characters, so there was a similar feeling of interest being able to see old characters again. Other than that, I’m interested in like... two, maybe three characters tops in Engage.
Soren is pretty much the only Emblem perfectly on point who wasn’t almost entirely generic with conversations. Sigurd had fewer generic conversations and was completely ooc, so that was a big fat wah wah for me (because as we all know, IntSys pretends canon Sigurd does not exist in the whole franchise now and only uses ghost!Sigurd’s like five lines of dialogue as his only and whole personality).
Honestly I think I’m kind of getting bitter toward Engage as an entry because people keep saying it’s the best FE game ever made, especially for gameplay (big ol’ lel from me), but it’s almost always at the expense of Three Houses in one way or another, about how Houses is a worse game. It’s... really not. Oh noooo, they didn’t use anti-aliasing, the whole game suuucks. 😒
(Oh yeah, and FE9 was supposed to be the original hub world game where you got to run around at a base camp and all that fun stuff, so uhhh... that kind of thing has nothing to do with newer entries being better and all that stuff.)
Also, I am being 110% more critical of these people and Engage right now because I have a headache and have felt pretty crappy without even being sick for the past few days. :’)
#DCB Comments#like... ever notice how I very rarely post about... you know... actual Engage?#how it's always older characters and especially Houses related? yeahhhhh. Engage's story wasn't that interesting#the gameplay was... really... not that interesting. actually I found it pretty annoying a lot and the camera is s h i t#Engage did better with its characters than Awakening and Fates but they're kinda more like#two trope personalities instead of one#like... idk. it was fun but it isn't one of my faves/ I can't see myself wanting to reply it very much#like... idk. it was fun but it isn't one of my faves. I can't see myself wanting to replay it very much#also Engage REALLY hammered in the ooc stuff for Sigurd and Ike and made them nothing like their canon counterparts#Sigurd kinda has always been ooc bc like Heroes already did that and stuff#but Ike has kinda been a steady increase in ooc writing since his first non Tellius appearance#I think at this point also I'm just... tired. I'm tired of new games being the new cool awesome hero game of the whole franchise#and then it gets hated on when the next entry comes out. that's been happening basically since Awakening#(which is funny bc Awakening was /also/ better than Fates)#like idk is it really personal preference when it's four out of my five favorite games that either sold amazingly well#or are extremely sought after and fandom-wise super popular? the idea of Engage seemed cool and all but#idk something abt it... well a lot of somethings ig... aren't vibing very strongly with me#DCB Engage Stuff
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roaringheat · 1 year
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I was really productive today and i'm trying to be proud of myself but theres nothing like being reminded by my family that they consider me lesser and an after thought to kill my mood and motivation
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toastsnaffler · 1 year
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ughf. maybe I should just stay at home until the new year by this point.
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easeupkid · 2 years
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new wip playlist...... lmk your thoughts
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I don't think I've ever poured so many of my physical attributes and so much of my heart and soul into a character design before in such a personal way before so fuck it whenever I finish the final design for Faeng and whatever I come up with I'm making her into my sona (dragonsona? Persona? Idk how this works lmfao)
(long dump in the tags and under the cut)
The last time I was even remotely connected this much to a character was when I designed Jaxsu, but honestly never truly made her my sona/main character, she was just the one I used most often in art pieces. I never really actually liked her lore and backstory enough because she was what I wanted to be instead of what I am/was. Jax isnt perfect either, but her parents love her and otherwise has friends and is loved unconditionally. She has a healthy relationship with everyone and everything. This is where the disconnect happened and where I actually started to dislike her despite her being my otherwise favorite character for awhile. Both Faeng and Jaxsu have ADHD and Autism but Jaxsu was able to put that towards a job and becoming a ship captain and winning a colosseum tournament. She's done all of these great things so even if she didn't have a healthy relationship with her parents they'd still love her because she's done something impressive and useful.
Faeng on the other hand, has to fight for everything. Her parents are important and have important jobs, and place all of these unreachable and unrealistic expectations on her and expect her to reach them with minimal effort and be perfect, but she can't no matter how hard she tries. She needs someone to explain it and break it down for her in steps so she understands what do to and how to do it so she doesn't mess it up. She's both strong and smart but it's not in practical "normal" ways or subjects. It's convoluted, It's not in the ways everyone wants her to be, she has no teachers to help her understand how to channel that strength and intelligence into something "useful" so she puts it towards the things she likes and wants to do, and thus struggles in a world that would otherwise be easy to navigate and conquer if she were "normal". Those that do understand her and try to help her are alienated by other people in an attempt to either punish both of them or force her to adapt to be somewhat passing as normal, if not then at least listen to what she's told to do. She does eventually make acquaintances but find that her twisted speech and weird explanations aren't worth trying to decipher and understand so they leave, they don't put in the effort to meet her halfway even though she's struggling and doing her best to speak in a way they'll understand.
Her parents acknowledge her differences but in a way that frames it as flawed and wrong, something that needs to be corrected, and push her to figure out her problems by herself, tearing down any support network she tries to build. She tries her damned hardest but it's not enough, it never is and never will be for them because she's not the perfect child they wanted. She showed promise in her younger years being a "gifted child" so she knows what love and acceptance lies in wait and what could be if she could just be normal and perfect. Her achievements and promise come and show in waves. She burns and fizzles out in one of the most virulent, painful ways possible after getting hurt trying to prove her worth yet again. She holds nothing but criticism, vitriol and contempt for herself because she can't claw her way back to where she was before, this time something happened and something is terribly, horribly wrong this time but she doesn't know that it is and can't figure it out, nor will anyone tell her. Whatever it is, left a mental and several physical injuries and it does nothing but deepen her self hatred and her parent's waning belief in her. She listens to false promises and praise of other people who do nothing but wish to manipulate and harm her but she stays because any form of praise is deemed good, she hungers for more and does worsening things.
She ignores the people who tell her that what she's doing is dangerous and will only end in disaster, because she doesn't believe them. If the people who are saying they're her friends are telling her that the people she hurts deserve it and that what she's doing is good, then surely she needs to believe them over strangers, right? Everything comes to a breaking point and shatters around her leaving her with quite literally nothing but her own self hatred, newfound rage and overbearing mental issues she needs to navigate once again to find out what hell it is and what's wrong with her now. She's scared of everyone and everything with the added bonus of now being hyper-aware and perceptive of people's mannerisms and behaviors, especially those who want to manipulate or harm her again. She wraps every vulnerable part of herself in metaphorical thorns and teeth to bite and maim whoever pries and digs into what she truly is, even people who want to understand her. She suffers at more than her own hand, forcing herself to deal with everything alone, until she finally meets someone that could be considered a true friend. She slowly opens up and helps them as much as they help her before everything comes crashing back down once again upon the reveal that they've been lying to her the entire time about very serious issues, and she's been used as nothing more than an attack dog once again. She burns every bridge and everyone around her in one final breakdown of rage before shutting down completely. One of the groups of friends she's shoved stay comes back and asks if she's ok. She doesn't understand why they're being kind, why they're concerned it why they care and tries to shove them away again. Every single day they still ask, talking even if there's no response from her, until she finally relents and breaks.
She's finally loved and accepted despite every fault and every flaw she has, and every time she tries to pull away out of fear of being an inconvenience they pull back twice as hard and remind her that she's able to just exist, she doesn't need to constantly be useful and that they care. She finally, finally is comfortable enough to let herself be accepted and then becomes the most clingy little shit, just as they do with her. But yeah, my own life has been very much of the same, especially the last part. Every time I go on another self-hatred spiral and drop off the face of the earth my MonHun bros give me a metaphorical slap to the face and remind me that I don't need to constantly prove my worth to everyone and prove that I'm useful, and that existing every once in awhile is more than enough. If that doesn't work then it's "you need to get your ass back over here because we're failing the Safi siege without the absolutely ridiculous amount of DPS your build Switchaxe does". I was not intending for her to be so much like me but goddamnit she's wormed her way into being my favorite now and I guess Mirage is no longer my impromptu sona
#I've been working the last 3 hours on her design and like just noticed HOW MUCH of myself i put into her design#especially parts of myself im self conscious of and don't like/didn't like growing up. i usually zone out esp during a character design#but i stopped and i looked at it and my first thought was “that's me. that's me on that canvas.” and for some reason felt so happy with it#ik that's probably a selfish thought to have and im nowhere near done with her design but i looked at it and loved it so deeply.#she's imperfect and ugly and flawed but that's ok because she's still beautiful in her own weird way and her friends still love her#this is the weirdest shit I've ever experienced but i honestly feel like I'm finally accepting a part of myself I've hated and shoved down#for so long because of the absolute gnawing feeling of unacceptance I've always been subjected to as “not fitting in” and something she say#is “who gives a shit what other people think about me. i have friends who love and care about me just as much as i do for them.#you dont need to be liked by everyone to be worth something. sometimes just existing is enough for the people who do love you“#the parallels of both my life and her lore are so similar they hurt on a visceral level i cant describe and it was completely unintentional#we both trust too easily whether it's out of naivety or stupidity and not learning from past mistakes and have been hurt so deeply#so many times beyond our own comprehension by the betrayal of other people to the point of shutting down every attempt at friendship#despite knowing just how much being alone aches and burns and put both physical and mental health on the line to get the approval of others#but never letting anyone get close enough to be friends out of fear of being hurt again#and having every vulnerable part of ourselves wrapped in metaphorical knives and glass to hurt anyone attempting to get to know us#but simultaneously and unknowingly hurting ourselves too with that choice. we're both aware of what we're doing but also unable to stop it#out of fear and lack of people willing to understand our pain and frustration and anger over things and it's so so frustrating#we both lash out when angry or hurt and push people that we love and love us back away out of fear that if any “ugly” is exposed to them#they'll leave because we lose our one redeemable quality of “being convenient” in a group#but simultaneously don't them trust fully out of fear. we know we're loved and love back but never fully in case its all a lie.#we both want nothing more than someone to understand and listen to what happened to us and actually stay and be friends rather than leave#like truly actually want to be friends and not just stay out of pity or sorrow over what happened#i think this is just something that comes with the autism tbh#i am she and she is me#rambling#dragon character#character writing#character building#dragon oc
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Can you write a college roommate head cannon for miguel O’Hara ( 18+ f!reader)
ik you asked for HCs but I have no self control... my bad, anon!
College Roommate!Miguel O'Hara Headcanons
(AO3 Mirror), Main Masterlist
pairing: College Roommate!Miguel O'Hara x f!reader
summary: Miguel is your roommate. And he’s hot. That’s it, that’s the tweet.
warnings: 18+ as fuuuck. F-receiving oral, using toys, masturbation, voyeurism (-ish), grinding, praise, service dom (idk?) Miguel, recreational drug use (reader and Miggy smoke a blunt). Minors DNI
a/n: I am a firm believer that modern day Miguel listens to 90s rnb, back when men were men: unabashedly, unashamedly down so fucking bad for their partners. he just gives me those vibes!!
edit: I'm writing a full fic for this! Rigor Mortis, college au fic, read here.
wc: 6k
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm thinking you become roommates but he's your last choice. 
Very last minute: you have a big falling out with your now ex-boyfriend, and the plans for flatsharing next semester goes right out the window. 
So all the good places are taken, and you're going apartment-hunting, but everywhere's either too expensive, too dirty, or there's a predatory clause hidden in the lease: shitty landlords and blaring red flags in 9pt Times New Roman. 
When you stumble upon Miguel O'Hara; a student in private accomodation who, lucky you, is in need of a roommate; it feels like a godsend.
Rent is affordable and he's nice enough; refusing to grunt more than a few words to you, but is clean, organised, and from what you can tell, is barely in the apartment. 
You sign onto the lease, desperately, hoping you've just been lucky and trying not to look a gift horse in the mouth. 
You give a thousand mile stare at the blank document in front of you. A bullshit paper due in exactly 12 hours. Yes, you left it until the final stretch, and yes, it's 10k words. Very doable. You're not fucked. Nope.
You blame it on the banging from next door. Paper thin walls; obscene noises. Cries of Yes Miguel and Just like that, daddy have been plaguing you for almost an hour. His stamina must be superhuman, the way the woman in his bed has been howling. Howling may seem extreme, but she sounds like a dying cat: cock drunk and babbling over Miguel O'Hara? 
Your new roommate had been nice enough. Quiet, unassuming, and seemed more than absorbed in his schoolwork. So you didn't expect him to unashamedly fuck the girl he's been tutoring for the past week. It all clicks. The "perfect roommate" turned out to have one teeny tiny little flaw: loud, obnoxious sex, well into the early hours of the morning. 
On autopilot, you're clicking through tabs on your bed. Perhaps you're a prude, but the sex noises are abrasive, excessive, to the point of parody. Persistent, Miguel's low voice reverberates in the walls of your bedroom; making heat pool at the base of your stomach. 
"You want it, hermosa? Tell me…. such a pretty girl… like that?" It's muffled, but his voice is unmistakable. Low, greedy, heavy with want. God, the last time someone's spoken to you like that was… 
You shake your head free of cobwebs. No. You're not rewarding him. You can't . Your roommate is shameless, and inconsiderate, and really fucking annoying . 
The smacking noises increase, coupled with banging on his side of the wall. Resolute, your face hardens. From where you perch on your bed, you slam the wall with the side of your fist. 
"O'Hara! Keep it the fuck down!" 
~~~
He's a biochem major, up to his ass in assignments and he still has time for societies, internships and tutoring. 
The only times he'd be in the apartment really was an impromptu session, and you didn't notice at first, but it became more obvious as the semester went on.
As a so-called tutor, he only seemed to pick the prettiest girls - they would twirl their hair on your kitchen counter and bat their pretty lashes at him when they didn't understand. Favours for a couple of friends, is his only response when you ask. 
It felt like you'd open the door to a new girl every week and you are baffled. Donned in makeup and short skirts, they'd waddle in asking for Miggy, or drop off half-finished assignments whilst craning their head through, trying to catch a glimpse of him. 
The absurdity would make you laugh if it wasn't affecting your sleep. 
Not that he's not absolutely gorgeous, but he's so quiet you would never have thought he had it in him: to have a revolving door of women lining up to lay underneath him. 
This time, her name is Sarah: pretty little thing in Miguel's Advanced Math class.  She perches on a stool, wearing a tight dress that is wholly not appropriate for a tutoring session. She's one of his regulars, if you can call it that, and has been failing for at least 2 semesters. You flash her a smile as you pad through the kitchen, searching the cupboards for a snack. God, she is gorgeous; dolled up for another long session with Miguel, no doubt.
"Where's he gone?" She asks politely. 
You shrug. "I couldn't tell you, sorry."
"It's okay… I'm just a bit stuck." You almost snort and catch yourself. For some reason, you didn't think they actually did any work, merely a pretense for the… cardio later on in the day. 
You glance at her sheet of paper, scribbles in purple pen with large swathes crossed out. Leaning over, you scan the page.
"Right here." You point and she follows with a manicured finger. "You fucked up with this integral and I think… yeah, I think that messes with the whole thing."
Her eyes light up as she follows you, explaining with a piece of cookie hanging out of your mouth. She's definitely smart, just a few little mistakes here and there that you're happy to point out. Thanking you fervently, she rushes to correct it. 
"Ah, it's no problem. I get mixed up with it too." You smile and notice Miguel by the doorway, watching with a strange look in his face. You roll your eyes as you walk past. What a fucking weirdo. 
"Thought I was the tutor?" He croons.
You raise an eyebrow, voice low as Sarah is engrossed in her work. "...I don't want to fuck her, Miggy , if that's what you're worried about."
A little cruelly you push past him, shoulders clashing against one another. Is he smiling ? For now, you blame your perpetual tiredness when you think you catch the hint of a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. 
~~~
You're a light sleeper, and it all makes for a tired, delirious combo. You sleepwalk through the day, scramble to finish assignments and whilst it's not all O'Hara's fault, you can't help but blame him for a lot of it. 
After you successfully get through one long week, you decide to celebrate. That means a couple hours of mindless hedonism: your favourite movie, greasy food…. and your trusty dildo. Not at the same time, of course. 
Miguel's not home, and he's not tearing down the walls with some other girl, for once, so you decide to treat yourself. 
You've been going through a dry patch, and you'd hate to admit it, but he does sound good through the thin drywall. 
It was a joke gift; given to you by a friend for your birthday. An obnoxiously purple dildo with a suction cup at its base. Aptly named Hugh, due to its - ahem - large stature. Standing tall at 7 or 8 inches, far bigger or thicker than any partner you've taken in the past. Sitting around a small diner booth with your friends and opening the bag to reveal him, had been quite the experience, for sure. 
It wasn't your fault you had gone through a dry spell in the past few months. With work, with school, with relationship issues, you hadn't had the time or energy to sleep around. Not that you were desperate for drunk, lackluster sex, followed by an awkward dance of ubers and shitty coffee in the morning. Like many, you preferred to do it yourself. 
Laptop open, you ease yourself onto the toy, already slick with lube. Prepping yourself with your fingers had been quite the task, tabs open to something on a lewd website. It's cheesy, but you didn't really like the bright lights and plastic of usual porn. The moans felt too fake, the sex devoid of any real passion. So you found a couple of independent creators; couples, mostly; carnal fucking with fervour only borne from real love . It's embarrassing to admit it, but your favourite parts are the little kisses and touches in between, or light laughter after a rough session. As if to say: it's okay and I'm still here. 
On your screen now is a longtime favourite video, a broad man bullying his fat cock into his partner. You can't help but think he looks like Miguel, not as pretty but tan with strapping shoulders, and large hands that wrap around the neck of the girl in the video. 
" F-Fuck," You breathe, sinking down onto your toy. You bet Miguel's palm on your throat would be deliciously rough, and you imagine how he'd fuck the brat out of you like the man on your screen. 
What hadn't occurred to you, however, was that the thin walls went both ways. Whilst you were quieter than many of the girls Miguel brought home, you were fairly shameless with the moans and curses that fell from your lips. Headphones on, you were blissfully unaware that Miguel had slipped into the apartment some time ago. The slap of your thighs to the floor, the desperate whine as you roll your hips over the toy - he can hear it all. 
Miguel has a conscience, so he does feel some amount of shame when he slips a hand down his trousers and presses an ear to your shared wall. He closes his eyes and bites down lusty groans, fisting his cock to your pretty noises. Noises he's been wanting to hear from you for months, now, imagining it was you underneath him instead of his usual partners. 
He times it just right, squeezing around his tip in time with the steady slap just beyond the wall. Are you fucking yourself? On your knees, hands flat on the floor, churning up your insides with a toy… or maybe ass up, dildo attached to something…? He almost cums with that mental image, wondering what you'd look like on your knees for him. Is the dildo as big as him? He knows you, knows you'd want it to hurt - for his cock to stretch out your pretty pussy when he cums deep inside you. 
All things he thinks about with a hand around his cock, and he's already close. But he wants to cum with you, listening intently for the signs. 
" Fuck," Your voice comes out muffled, but it makes him buck up into his fist all the same. " Need it… oh God, I-" 
He speeds up, wondering what it would be like to have your thighs shake underneath him, what it would take to have you babbling and begging for more. How would he break you? Maybe on his cock, where he'd watch you squirm as you take his length. Or on your knees, choking around him and licking up his cum. Or, God, thighs wrapped around his head, riding out your high with his mouth sealed on your clit, crying for him slow down, for him to-
" H-Harder, Miguel, please." 
He releases, sudden and intense, spilling white ropes into his boxers. 
" Fuck, Miguel…"
He fucks his fist through it, overstimulated from the way you say his name. It feels like the only way it should be said; spilling from your mouth, haphazard and desperate. Like honey, like treacle; sweet things he didn't know he had the capacity for. He lets that feeling wash over him, panting, bringing his forehead to rest on cool wall. 
~~~
He's hot. He's smart. He's a whore.
A total blindspot for you, and no matter how much you can't stand him; you still find yourself stealing glances whenever he's home. 
And he does seem to be home a lot more, often choosing to study on the dining table rather than his room. It's like he does it on purpose, using the warmer weather as an excuse to wear tiny tank tops and loose gray sweats - showing off the muscles of his broad back and arms perfectly.
Funnily enough, when he's not around those girls, he's bearable - seems to have grown a couple of brain cells in those short few days between sessions. 
You laugh and joke, sometimes, and he surprises you by suggesting a movie one quiet night. 
He offers you his sweater to snuggle into, you eat your weight in greasy takeout, and your roommate seems like an actually decent guy?? 
You had fallen into an easy routine: O'Hara leaves a flask of coffee for you to snatch up in the morning, hair damp from the shower and all, and you meet him with netflix and instant noodles in the evening. A push and pull that works in the little space - much smoother than your rocky beginnings.
After a truly shitty day, you come home to a quiet apartment. Almost sleeping through an exam, forgetting lunch, missing the bus home, and having to trek back through pouring rain in a thin coat. Everything that could go wrong, did, and you are left with the pieces. You trudge through the living room into the kitchen, the wet squelch of socks on laminate floor haunting every step. Shedding your limp outerwear, you lay the contents of your backpack onto the kitchen counter: clumps of loose paper, the damp leftovers of a textbook, bleeding ink. Your main concern, however, is your laptop slick with rain water. 
With baited breath, you put it on the slab, and press the power button. A click, a stuttering whir, and the screen flickers on. Then, just as strained, it putters off. Dead. Completely dead. Your legs almost give out, and you lean on the counter to steady yourself. Half of your life was there; including the final project that would make up a good chunk of your grade. It takes you everything not to collapse onto the floor right then and there. 
"How was it?" You hear the click of a door and Miguel calls out from the hallway. 
You wince."...F-Fine?" 
You hear footsteps, as he gets closer. "Are you asking or telling me?" 
You clear your throat, desperately trying to keep your voice steady. "Fine. It was fine. I'm just… it was fine."
Back still turned, you fumble around with the wet contents of your bag, hoping he doesn't notice. 
"Long day?" He says warmly, head poking into the kitchen. Haphazardly, you spare him a glance from behind your shoulder. He's dressed in a sweater that fits snug around his chest, rolled up to expose his forearms, and loose sweats. In his hands, he drinks from a cheesy mug - your mug, donning a stupid pun. He looks warm. Cosy. Domestic. For some, reason it makes your heart sink even further. 
Long day? "Something like that." You manage to squeeze out. There's a pregnant pause as he comes closer. Rummaging blindly through a cupboard, you try to hide behind its door. If he sees you like this, now, you don't know if you'll be able to hold it together. 
You close the door, and all of a sudden he's there, mug in hand. 
" Fuck, man- " It makes you jump, as he squints and takes a sip of his coffee. 
"You look… wet." 
"That's because it rained, Miguel." Snapping at him, your tone is biting. You're tired, stressed and in desperate need of a cry, but he is unrelenting in his gaze. 
"Are you ok?" He asks, unfazed. 
There's a lump in your throat and all you can do is nod with a tight expression.  His eyes flicker towards the counter and you shuffle, trying to cover up the mess. And then you watch it happen; initial confusion, a flash of realisation, and then worry; all in the space of a couple seconds. 
Gently, he pulls you aside to inspect the damage. "Mierda. This is pretty bad. You sure you're ok?" 
He's got a hand on your arm now,  The dam breaks and you crumple into tears in the kitchen floor. Of course, he comes with you, rubbing your back as you blubber through the details. 
" Nothing's going right for me… and I've got my final project on there… I'm barely keeping up as it is…" All he does is nod, face tight with something you can't quite name. It must seem pathetic to him, you think, shamelessly crying on the kitchen floor, complaining to your poor roommate. He can't leave you like this, because he's a decent person - but internally, he must think you're going crazy. 
It helps, having him there: a steady presence by your side. Slowly but surely, your tears subside. 
"You could've asked me to pick you up." He hands you some tissues off the counter, and watches as you mop up the tears. "I would've come, if you called."
"I didn't… I didn't think we were…" You search for the right word. 
"...friends?" He offers, with a small smile. "You think I let just anyone steal my sweaters?" 
"First of all," It makes you laugh, despite yourself. "You offered. And second, I've seen what you do with your friends, and I don't know if I have the energy for it."
"Ouch." Bashful, he rubs his chest like it aches. He sits a little close to you, knocking your shoulders with his own. "I know this girl who's crazy good with computers. I could ask her to take a look, if you'd like? Might not be able to save it but maybe we could recover the files?"
"...I'd like that, to be honest."
"Muy bien ." He leaps to his feet, palm stretched towards you to help you up. "I'll run you a warm bath or something. You're creating a puddle and it's going to ruin my floor."
"Our floor, asshole. I pay rent here, too." 
~~~
You find that you enjoy being around him, and he feels the same. 
You can't help but compare him to your shitty ex who you were planning to move in with: and even with his quirks, Miguel is better in every way. 
There is harmony in your household, for a while, and you almost look forward to coming home to him after class. Almost. 
It doesn't last long, because of course it doesn't. You'd thought you'd come to a tentative ceasefire, able to casually rib and joke with each other - takeout and B-roll movies aside. He leaves you leftovers from food he makes, you turn down your music when he's studying, and he even woke you up the other day when you had slept through your alarm.
Beyond the wall, his music is loud: a playlist you recognise as the one he puts on to (unsuccessfully) mask the noise of his usual late night adventures. Cheesy love ballads, heady RnB that leaks into your own room. You'd rather die than admit his taste in music isn't horrible, but it usually means a long, long night for everyone around. With finals around the corner, there's no way you can let this stand. 
What kind of person does that? Lull you into a false sense of security with Snakes on a Plane and pepperoni pizza? 
Absorbed in your own work, you hadn't even realised he had someone over; let alone was gearing up for obnoxious sex. You'd bang on the wall, but you feel like you guys are past that: crossed a threshold of intimacy that means you can shout at him up close and personal. 
So you stomp over to the hallway, banging at the door to his room. In the short trip there, you've worked yourself into a frenzy. How many times have you told him to keep it down? That it was rude and inconsiderate to flaunt his sex life in your face; to fuck other women so loud you were practically involved? There was something about the little smile he would give you afterwards, when you catch him shepherding his latest out the door in the morning - like he gets off on it, enjoys it, when you react. Even when you think you're over it, he still manages to drive you absolutely crazy. 
“Miguel? Open the fuck up!"
You're still fuming when the door opens with a click, and Miguel appears in the sliver of the doorway. He opens it so that his frame is half swallowed by the door, top half peeking through with a lazy hand in his hair. And of his top half, he's bare from the waist up, black band of his boxers sitting low on his v-line and loose sweats. 
All the wind is knocked from your sails, and you lose your train of thought. 
"Yeah?" 
"I…" You clear your throat. "I don't care who you fuck, but when I'm doing work-" 
"-I'm not." He chuckles. "There's no one here, hermosa. Just me. And you, I guess…"
There's something about the way he says it, lazily, as if it's his first time saying those words - wrapping his tongue around your name to see how it fits. If it fits, how it tastes. His relaxed posture, the way his hair falls…
"You're high." Your brow shoots up. "... you're high!" 
With a finger pressed to his lips, he grabs your hand and pulls you into his room, eyes darting around the hallway. 
"Shhh! You can't-" Now, he gets close, whispering like he's saying something he shouldn't. "You can't tell anyone. "
"I won't." You breathe. His face is serious at first, and then you're both giggling. You've never seen him so carefree, and it's nice to see Miguel walking around without the weight of the world on his shoulders.
He's still holding your hand, pressed close, and you see him drag his eyes up and down your figure. "You want do something you'll regret…?"
"...I've got a 9am, tomorrow, I really-" 
"-shouldn't?" He finishes, dragging his hand up your bare arm, pupils blown. He gets up to your shoulders, tucking your hair behind your ear. It's sinful, the way his touch is gentle but gaze heavy - violent in the way he practically eyefucks you. You feel bare, in little sleep shorts and a t-shirt.
He steps back, lounging on his bed, and makes for a half finished blunt by the adjacent window sill. Sighing, you sit by him, sinking into the mattress. He pats you closer, dangerously close, and you comply. One arm curled by your waist, the other brings the blunt up close and you wrap your lips around it. When Miguel brings a lighter to the blunt, you lean into it, knuckles brushing your lips. 
You take a drag, long, heavy, eyes closed. And when they open, you're met with his own. Maybe it's the weed, maybe it's the heady atmosphere, but you swear his eyes are low and deep with lust.
"Good girl." He rumbles, cupping your chin and tracing a thumb to your lips. He separates, bringin the blunt to his own lips before leaning back to pass it to you. As quick as he gets close, he pulls away; leaning back into the expanse of his large bed. And he looks good, head drawn back and the curve of his tan arm drawn upwards. Tufts of hair from his chest, the trail that leads down suggestively - and without inhibition, you basically drool over him. God, there it is. You feel it kick in and let it wash over you. 
His music, long forgotten, blends into your downy haze. You want to sit in his lap, rest your head on his chest. You get it now: if this is the view all those women he tutors get to have, then you finally understand. 
"Come closer, hermosa ." You barely register the nickname, only focused on the way he says it, the delicious way it rolls off of his tongue. You nod, and shuffle closer. His siren song sounds sweeter, somehow, up close. 
You pass the blunt between you both, and watch it dwindle to the last dregs. Lying down next to him, he clutches your hand and takes the butt between his fingers, letting its flames die as you watch. You giggle and his gaze softens.
"I didn't expect this from you." You look up to see an upside-down Miguel, hiding a smile. 
"Expect what?" He drags himself downwards, to rest his head by your side. 
"All…" You gesture vaguely. "This. Don't even think I've been in your room for this long, before."
His room looks exactly how you'd expect it: tidy and modest, a row of trophies neatly lined up on a shelf, a telescope pointing out towards a window. There are posters by his bed; science related, mostly. You tilt your head in the direction of one of them.
"Is this what they see?" You mumble to no one in particular. 
He manages to catch it, sluggish in his response. "...Is this what who sees?" 
"All the girls you fuck." It tumbles your of your mouth, before you can help it. 
He tilts his head too, looking at the poster and you watch the sharp lines of his jaw besides you. Even at this angle, he's so pretty. 
"Huh. I guess they do." 
"It's not very romantic, is it?" You blink, oblivious. Your question is met with a noncommittal shrug. "What was her name last time? Cassie, Clara-something…"
"Katie." He hums. 
"Katie." Ignoring the twinge of disappointment at his quick response, you hope it's the weed and not jealousy that made you pretend to forget her name. 
You sit up on your haunches, tracing the valleys and mountains of his bare chest with a leisurely finger. You try not to notice the way he shivers at your touch. 
"I could hear everything. Every, 'Yes daddy'," You feign a moan by curling your lips into an O-shape. You bring your other hand to your hair, head tilted back with exaggerated movement. "And 'right there, Miggy, right fuckin' there' ." 
Technically, you're making fun of him and laughing, expecting him to follow. But he doesn't, head back and eyes boring into you - only bringing a hand to press yours at his chest. 
"Thin walls, Miguel." You clear your throat, sensing a shift in the atmosphere. Too far, probably. "Sorry, shit. I didn't mean-" 
"I hear you too." He says softly. "I heard you, the other day."
Head filled with cotton, it takes a moment for his words to really click. So he elaborates, lacing his fingers with your own. 
"Fucking yourself, hermosa ." He says it lazily, like the vulgarity of the act doesn't register.
Your eyes widen in horror. How much exactly did he hear?
"...and I heard you say my name." 
"It was…. i-it wasn't like that-" Fuck. You can't think straight as it is: and his voice is low and silky, rubbing circles on your hand close to his chest. Even now, he oozes confidence, the steady thump-thump of his heart giving away nothing. 
"Hmmm? Then what is it like?" You blink at him, unable to answer. "You're a hypocrite. You complain about all these women I supposedly fuck, but then-" 
He pulls you closer, so that your lips almost touch his. "-you lock yourself in your room, touching yourself and thinking about your poor roommate. What am I meant to do with you?"
A pause, and in your daze, you can't breathe. For all your theatrics, it's too easy for him - to prod and tease, and for you to chase after him. You move to kiss him, but he grabs your chin at the last second. "Not quite. I want to hear you say it."
"Fuck- " You crumple, hiding your head in the crook of his shoulder. Even in your haze, the nerves bubble up from the base of your stomach. "Fuck me, please , Miguel."
He places a hand on your thigh, leading you to straddle his middle, other hand wrapped around your waist. He grinds your lower half into his, leaning up to bring your lips together. 
He tastes sweet, greedily lapping up your moans in the clash. You're not thinking, not really, lost in the heat of his body, desperate and eager when you kiss. To contrast, Miguel cups your chin, pulling you away for air whenever you sink too deep. Somehow, he still manages to look smug, taunting you with a flash of his little fangs whenever you separate. If you weren't feeling the effects of that blunt, you may have had the means to be embarrassed at how much you want him - needily grinding against him and pawing at his chest. 
It's too slow, too leisurely, like a punishment; and he refuses to give you what he knows you want. Your whines betray you when he finally slips a hand down your shorts. 
"¿Paciencia, hmm?" He grabs a handful of your ass, clothed cock catching on your clit. It rips another moan from you, which he happily swallows with another kiss. "Patience, princesa."
You hump against one another like teenagers, your hands planted by his head for purchase. Hips moving of their own accord, you chase the relief Miguel provides: with his hands kneading your ass, length catching at your clit, and teeth nipping at your bare neck. 
He licks a stripe up your collarbone, soothing the blossoming hickeys with a hum. 
Fuck, how can he be so casual ? You don't know if it's the weed or something else, but he is in his element, hand dipping down your back to graze at your pussy from behind. He hisses when he realises how wet you are, swiping his fingers down your slit and taking them out to pop them in his mouth. 
Now, flushed and face hot with embarrassment, you look up at him with big doe eyes. It makes Miguel feel guilty for stopping you so close to your climax. Beautiful : lower lip hooked under your teeth, plump and swollen and kissable. He'll make up for it later: a promise he whispers into skin. 
"You're soaked." He cups your cheek to press a kiss to your forehead, and all you can do is whine. His gaze dips down, to the swell of your tits in that thin shirt.. 
"What did you think about when you touched yourself?" It's soft, said in the warm press of your bodies; hook-shaped and hazy and you fit like you were made for one another. The thought lingers, plants a dangerous seed that makes you forget that the man underneath you is your roommate : unrepentant whore, Miguel O'Hara. 
"You." You've seen it first hand, he eats hearts for breakfast; and yours is on a platter for him to devour.
He laughs, deep and rumbling, hands resting on your waist. "I know that, baby. You don't have fantasies? Fuck yourself to the thought of someone touchin' you just right?"
Not just someone, him, you think. Your voice dies in your throat at the way he looks at you. "Just… n-nothing really-"
He hums, grinding your hips onto his. "Speechless, I can't believe it. Is this what I need to do to get some fucking peace around here?" 
You roll your eyes, "Don't be a dick, Miguel. When I shout, it's because you deserve it."
"...there it is." Eyes shining, his face stretches into a shit-eating grin. Wide, unabashed, unambiguous. "You back with the living, sweetheart?" 
It makes you laugh, even though you hate to give him the satisfaction. 
"What do you want?" He kneads your thigh and pleasure pools at the base of your stomach. 
You mumble something begrudgingly.
"Hmm? Can't hear you, baby."
Louder, now. "...want to sit on your face, Miguel." 
Lowly, he groans, shaking his head. "Mierda… of course you do."
Expertly, he helps you take your shorts off, dragging the thin material down your thighs. You clambers upwards, wrapping them around his shoulders, watching intently as he kneads the soft skin. It's tentative, at first, and you place your hands on the headboard to perch just above his mouth. 
He licks, diving in with the flat of his tongue: a long upwards stroke that ends with him sucking your clit. Moaning, your hips jump and he chases your pretty pussy up, large palms pushing you back down. He concentrates on your bundle of nerves, lips around your clit like a man on a mission.
And, God, does it feel good; he watches and learns from your every movement, committing your body to memory. His moans vibrate deliciously, tension building at that spot faster than your mind can register it. Then, you clench around nothing, gushing into his mouth whilst he eases you through it. The noises he makes are obscene; one leg off the bed and a hand snaked under his boxers. He's getting off on it; watching you crumple and sob around his tongue. 
And when you begin to move off, thighs sore, he doesn't relent, sealing his mouth on your pretty little hole. 
"Miguel.. fuck-" After your first orgasm, it surprises you when he continues, tongue fucking you with fervour. He presses you close, impossibly close, and your body fights against his ministrations. Heat, everywhere, and it's too much. The haze of the blunt begins to wear off and you are left with biting clarity. You want more of him, deeper; drunk off of just his tongue. 
You card your hands in his hair, and he moans: deep and wanton, with his eyes fluttering shut. He wants to look, to watch you when you cum on his tongue for a second time. Back arched, the curve of your tits peeking through a tiny top, fucking yourself on his face. He wants it hard , wants you to take control and use him to get off. 
"Right there, fuck… "
Like you can hear his thoughts, you press yourself down harder, riding the deep ridge of his nose for relief. Miguel complies and leans into it. He eats you out like a man starved and the carnality of it all brings you to a second peak. You cum once again, legs wrapped tight around his face. Head back, he laps it up readily. 
You separate with a wet pop, and Miguel looks blissful : fucked out and panting, wiping the slick off of his face with a forearm. Exhausted, you lean back onto the mattress beside him. 
"That was…" He searches for the right word, and it's your turn to finish for him. 
"... good. " Scarily good. So good you won't be able to see him around the apartment without remembering what he looks like trapped between your thighs. 
Gently, he turns to cup your cheek and bring your lips to his. It starts off sweet and deepens rapidly, making that thread at the pit of your stomach tighten, again. He grabs your thigh, bringing it closer, and you feel his length poking your stomach. Fuck. 
"You haven't…?" Your hand makes for his trousers, and he stops you. "I want to, Miguel. Want you to feel good too."
His head sinks into your shoulder. "I know, baby, I know. Not like this. Not yet."
You nod, still wrapped up in his arms. You haven't even fucked, and it feels more intimate than it should. 
"You've got a 9am tomorrow." He smiles with a hand underneath his head. 
"I've got a 9am tomorrow," You repeat, sighing. "...and my life is falling apart. I'm failing half of my classes as it is."
He turns to you, lazily. 
"I could tutor you, if you'd like."
"That's not fucking funny, Miguel."
_
_
Miguel taglist: @d1lf-loverrr, @afro-hispwriter @ilovemiguelohara @weedxgirlx420 @ladydovahkiin180 @aaliyuh3 @sweetanimebakery @vvitcxen @rosecoloredlenses708 @daikondal @magikmina @impettywhenyouare @alonelygirlsuicidenote @plushyplants @javi0ca @rheeves @starrfruit @nikirikii @marsbars09 @foxglove-grove @mimooyi @crosshairclown @dead-by-light @kynamitedessert @naarra @wanderlustingcastaway @sagejin @cookielovesbook-akie @tangerineloverrr @gobblegluckgluckgod @wolfiepirate @jxxey3 @ebrysteria @elliemm @manchuria @youngghostpeachslime @weasleybuns @ilovemuppets @vauriz @bonbyon @aimno256 @ancientbeing10 @tvije @venus1224idkpleaze @neteyamsbulletwound @chickenjefferson-blog @maki-z @jasjasthings
_
edit: the full fic xx
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apparently there's a community of people who claim squirrelflight was abusive to brambleclaw????
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 1 year
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Scrolling through the fe tag and getting Annoyed bc I just saw a post that was a very thinly-veiled dig at dimitri/blue lions fans for the cardinal sin of *gasp* enjoying characters for their characterization and not, like, purely for their ideologies lol. also had the classic “D is pro-monarchy and therefore conservative and bad 😥🤢🤮” and “E is anti-monarchy and therefore progressive and good 😄🔥👍” spiel that we’ve all seen a billion times, which is obvs an extremely reductive take that ignores context and other crucial aspects of E and D’s characters but whatever
I myself don’t really engage in fe3h discourse, and mostly operate under the notion that your favorite fictional characters aren’t necessarily indicative of your irl morals/politics (no matter what people say, this is, at the end of the day, a fucking video game with no actual stakes. you can like and support whoever you want idgaf). However i just wanna say that i find it genuinely astonishing that, instead of just embracing their fave’s flaws and telling everyone else to fuck off, a certain part of this fanbase has effectively gaslit themselves into believing that the openly imperialistic, warmongering, and borderline authoritarian character (tmw your cartoonishly evil henchman has a secret police force created for the sole purpose of killing people who rebel against your rule/regime 🥴) is like, an uber leftist revolutionary hero. probably so they can pat themselves on the back for being True Activists™️ bc god knows they don’t do shit irl lol
People need to get out more lol. It’s not like you have to love the characters for strictly what they believe in or I’d actually like Edelgard considering my frequent comparing of her and Ashnard and the fact that I actually like Ashnard.
Really, I don’t think Dimitri is pro any kind of governing system as long as the people are happy and living well. Like, if I recall, Gilbert’s solo ending only mentions that he trained the next prince and not that it was actually strictly Dimitri’s blood child. Like, given that there’s no mention of him being married or having a kid in a good chunk of his endings, you could actually argue that he just adopted a kid. Sure, it would mean his child was crowned for being his child, but it also doesn’t specify that the next king was also a Blaiddyd.
Obviously people are going to assume it was simply because “That’s How Faerghus Works”, but when there’s no mention of it, there’s no confirmation for us to go by. How do we know he didn’t just adopt some orphan that took to him considering he’s good with children? How do we know he didn’t decide to not have a Blaiddyd as king because of the emotional range they have on top of their physical strength? What if he decided it was a dangerous combination and he didn’t want his child to live with that, so decided to adopt?
The thing is, we don’t know much about Faerghus post game except that there’s another prince after Dimitri, and Edelgard would have a similar ending. It doesn’t have to be her child or even an adopted child, but eventually another emperor would have to take her place. Considering all Dimitri cares about is that his land has a guide for the people, he wouldn’t really care about who the leader was as long as his people were happy and healthy.
Which, like, if you look at irl situations, that’s not being conservative. Irl people who are in power don’t give a flying fuck about the people they have power over. You get decrepit straight rich white men who make decisions for the populace without consulting them, and they have a small group of such people who decide everyone’s fate based on what they want or think is right.
Considering how Dimitri is king because of his bloodline but actually only sees himself as a guide to help his people, seeing the people themselves as the real rulers of their own land, I’d say that’s... very unique and specific to him. In all FE games you get bloodline based leadership, but it doesn’t mean the leader is bad. Eliwood is next in line for leadership based strictly on a bloodline, but so what? He’s just a nice dude who hates war. Just because he was born into a ruling bloodline doesn’t mean he’s a bad ruler or shouldn’t be any sort of leader. Saying Dimitri is bad or conservative for living what he knows is the same saying that yeah, Eliwood is a trash conservative and horrible leader to his people simply because he’s leading based on inheritance and not uwu merit.
When you look at Dimitri and Rufus, both candidates in line for the throne (i.e. if Lambert died without any kids, the throne would automatically be given to Rufus because he’d be the only royal left), Dimitri is an amazing “ruler” (which I use in quotes because he really doesn’t rule so much as figure out what his people want and base his final decisions on that. He’s basically there to keep the peace and keep organization while letting the people have a say in how they live, which is extremely different than any other lord or royal we’ve ever had in the franchise).
Rufus on the other hand doesn’t even really rule, but instead lets the country fall apart through his lack of ruling. He may not be a crazy tyrant, but he certainly doesn’t care about the country or the state it’s in. They’re both in the same bloodline and both have immediate claim to the throne (i.e. if anything happened to Dimitri, Rufus is immediately next in line), but despite both being born into that possibility, they both have very different ways of handling it; that being, Rufus doesn’t handle it at all, so he doesn’t go by “I’m next in line after Dimitri if he has no children but I don’t care to rule even if it tears the country apart”. Does that make him better than Dimitri simply because he isn’t ruling when he could be when Dimitri hadn’t come of age? By these people’s arguments, yeah, he’s the better ruler because he’s not being “conservative”. Fact is, he’s not ruling at all, so they’re seeing a Blaiddyd who could rule deciding not to. So, by their standards... Rufus is good and progressive.
You could be “progressive” and not go by a monarchy and still be a horrible ruler. You could have people vote in a new leader who sounds great when they tell you their plans, then they get into their new position of power and it’s all downhill from there. I’m not just saying that because of my feelings for Edelgard and Dimitri either - I’m saying that because I’m living in a country where that shit actually happens. Potential leaders will make everything sound good, and then once they’re in power, people might turn around and realize well oh shit, that was a Bad Choice.
And, you guessed it, I’m going back to my old buddy Ashnard. He’s the “last in time Tee Em” as far as anyone knows in-universe. Once he’s dead, there’s nobody to take his place because he killed everyone else in the royal family indirectly through use of the Blood Pact. So, is he now progressive and good because he knows once he’s dead that the next Stronkers person will take over for him? Knows that he Has No Children Tee Em and so the monarchy is finished? By their argument, well, Ashnard is progressive and good, all the actions he took before and after be damned. You hear that, Ashnard? You’re a good man now!
Mind you, the only surviving Daein royal wouldn’t rule anyway, so I guess he’s good and progressive too because he just wouldn't wouldn’t want to or care about that. He’s not as easily pulled into something as Pelleas, where Pelleas was just told “you’re the prince” and he was like “oh okay guess I’ll just rule or something”.
If my favorite characters reflected my morals, that would be a WILD ride. If you tried to learn about me from knowing my favorite FE7 character is Ephidel, then tried to form a solid basis about me knowing my favorite from Houses is Dimitri, I’d like to see what nonsense they cook up with that. Ephidel doesn’t even have morals or ideals but he’s still my favorite.
What you’re describing is people who can’t see flaws in their favorite(s) and are totally blind to it, which is... well, not a good thing. One thing that says a lot about someone’s favorites is how they view them and if they bash other people for not liking their favorites, yet argue all negative things about another character (for me, as an example of someone I don’t like: Ionius. I don’t like him as a person, but I do see him as a good father to Edelgard in the sense that he loves her and cares about her. I think what he’s done is shitty and I would never like him as a person, but I wouldn’t say he’s devoid of any good qualities whatsoever, because hell, at least he loves his child and just wants the best for her. Just because I don’t like what he’s done doesn’t mean I shut myself off from seeing and accepting any good traits in his character). It’s also disturbing when people think it’s good and okay for innocent people to be sacrificed/killed for a rich person in power’s goals. That’s exactly what rich people in power want. They see the people below them as pawns and see us as faceless, nameless numbers that they rule over.
Also, I believe it says a lot about someone’s maturity when they can’t accept flaws in their fictional favorites to the point of having to target another group of people and put down their own favorites in any stretched, possibly way because they can’t handle their favorites having flaws and those flaws being discussed. To me it says a lot about a person based on how they act. I feel differently about a person when I see them behave with a completely closed mind, attacking other people who enjoy a form of media and its writing, while refusing to take criticism for the things they enjoy. Some of my favorites don’t always say or do the best shit, but for some reason Edelgard stans just... can’t accept nor fathom the idea that she’s anything but perfect and firmly believe she has no negative traits and is always completely right. There’s no “that’s bad”. It’s always “sure, that’s bad, BUT”.
a certain part of this fanbase has effectively gaslit themselves into believing that the openly imperialistic, warmongering, and borderline authoritarian character (tmw your cartoonishly evil henchman has a secret police force created for the sole purpose of killing people who rebel against your rule/regime 🥴) is like, an uber leftist revolutionary hero. probably so they can pat themselves on the back for being True Activists™️ bc god knows they don’t do shit irl lol
This is basically the best way of putting it, tbh. I also agree that yeah, these are the exact people who will harass and bully people online until they delete their accounts and leave because these stans can’t tolerate anyone except their hivemind existing on this planet (and yes, you might be aware this actually has recently happened in this fandom, very specifically and noticeably being Edelgard stans who incited it for LITERALLY no reason other than to do it, and to upset someone who liked Faerghus and not their uwu girlboss who was just posting their thoughts and headcanons about Faerghus and its characters. the stans in question ignored everything that was actually happening and dragged stupid ass politics into it over a totally fiction matter and think that’s called “fucking around and finding out”. Yes, that’s how obscenely stupid these “activists” are), and these are the exact people who do nothing irl to help the real world. These are the people who cry activism, but all they do is use bullying and forceful words and don’t do a damn thing irl. The saddest part is, the leaders of the world do more for the world than they do and most of what they do isn’t even good, yet it’s still better than what these children do.
Normally I wouldn’t say their favorites equal their ideals and shit, but they literally argue about politics and what they think is right in a political setting rather than argue reasons for actually enjoying their favorites. In other words, they’re not defending their reasons for liking a character. They’re defending their political views and trying to point at a video game and say “see? hot waifu chick who fawns over you wants these things too, so I’m obviously right!”
It was never about Edelgard as a character. That’s the whole problem. It was always about defending their extreme political views and violently, aggressively hating anyone who doesn’t agree with their political views.
They just happen to like that their views fall in line with a sexy, pretty looking uwu girlboss who paints “them” and gets flustered about it. They just figured they had a hot chick who had the same views as them and liked that.
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star-sim · 5 months
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"nooo! she's taken!" ☆ enha maknaes
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☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen maknaes x celebrity! fem! reader ☆ summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆ genre: fluff, another poor attempt at humor, it's very silly ☆ warning(s)? none! lmk if you'd like to see this w the hyungs! hyung ver.
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sunoo ☆
so youre a famous actress
you have your official instagram account
and then your personal one, that you only allow family and personal friends to follow
sunoo, your bf, also has an account on instagram
since most of you friends and family know him, it's not uncommon for him to take your phone and post on your personal account
one of those "hai guys i stole her phone 🤭"
all in good fun
so one night, you and sunoo and cuddling
it was one of those vibey nights
the lights were dim, candles lighting up the room with their orangey hue, light music playing in the background
laying on you and sunoo's shared bed, his face buried into the crook of his neck while you run your fingers through his hair
its honestly so soft and warm and comfy :]
the two of you aren't really talking to each other, just basking in each other's presence
and eventually you begin to doze off
at first sunoo was like "baaaaabee!! why did you stop touching my hair"
but then he realized you were asleep
so after givng your cheek a soft peck, and tucking you into the soft blankets
sunoo physically goes >:]
he takes your phone and decides that he's going to spam your personal account
because tbh he does this a lot and it's funny for everyone involved
sunoo takes very silly pictures of you and him
pictures of you sleeping, ones at very silly angles (ik he takes the most FOUL 0.5s)
on your story he posts them with also very ridiculous captions
theres one of you sleeping with the caption "mimimumuimuiu"
another fisheye lens one of sunoo with the caption "hai i stole [name]'s phone 😈"
but he also posts some sweet ones
like one where you're dozing off in his arms w the caption "she's so cute"
sunoo gets mushy at some point
like his captions go from funny to "im so happy that i get to call myself [name]'s boyfriend, i feel so lucky to be with such a beautiful and talented woman"
that's great!
really!
that's wonderful!
but.
there's just one problem
one
teeeeeeensy
weeeeeeeeeensy
problem
he was using the wrong account.
he was posting all this on your official, business, 7.8 million follower, instagram account.
and not your personal account.
!!!!!
😱😱😱
he doesn't notice until 20 minutes later his phone blows up with articles and text messages
and when he notices
sunoos like OH SHIT
he shakes you awake
and poor boy is so apologetic :(
"baby i'm so sorry i didn't mean to out our relationship like that i should have been more careful-"
but when he explains it to you
you kinda just laugh
and go back to sleep
HELP
sunoo deletes the stories but people already screenshotted them
yeah... so this blows up
i feel like they would become memes
like the ones of you sleeping become reaction memes or even worse part of those tiktok meme slides LMAOAOAO
a lot of people think it's adorable
and you do too
but sunoo is so embarrassed
poor boy
he was writing out entire think pieces on your instagram story oml
OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TERRIBLE
there's definitely articles that come out about this
and yk how on articles theres a title page with images
one of the images is of you ofc
all these news outlets use your super professional HD MODEL pictures of you
like ones where youre a goddamn SMOKE SHOW, the "who is she?" ones, the ZOOWEE MAMA ones...
and then they use one of the foul images that sunoo takes of himself that are like 3 pixels
like the 0.5 lens ones 😭
nevertheless, there is a happy ending
everyone thinks its so sweet
including you
and when people bring it up on interviews you're able to just laugh about it
<3
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jungwon ☆
we joke abt jay and sunghoon and sunoo having mad side eyes
but i think we forget the FATHER of INSANE SIDE EYES
YANG JUNGWON HIMSELF
you're a singer/artist
and you just released a new EP!
on tiktok, you're making promotional videos to promote your new songs
looking like a cutie, popping off, as you always do!
anyways in many of them
you're in front of a glass door
or a mirror
so as youre being an absolute cutie promoting your song, in the background in the reflection you can see jungwon making faces
NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAKING FACES AT YOU
but bc sometimes there's ppl walking by and being judgy
jungwon is giving them mad stink eyes and it's caught in the reflection of your videos
i don't think a lot of ppl notice it until someone points it out
and when they do
theyre like
WHO TF IS THAT 😭
ppl are making tiktoks simply zooming into his face LMAOAOAO
and then a few days later
the paparazzi released pictures of you walking with jungwon, holding hands and on a date
and when ppl see it
theyre like
hmm...
that guy looks a lot like the guy in the reflection...
and then the dots connect
like sunoo, i think jungwon is embarrassed
everytime someone brings it up jungwon hides his face in your neck
and he wears that cute little bashful grin
but honestly it's cute
so just hug him and kiss his lil cheeks and he'll be okay
it kinda becomes viral on tiktok
so you make a few video stitches about it
you stitched the og video that pointed out jungwon's face in the background
your stitch was just a video of jungwon being embarrassed and freaking out
like bro was on the floor, hands in his hair
jungwon was in the trenches sorry 😭
there's another stitch where jungwon explains himself
he's dressed in a suit and tie and speaking so formally like he was making an apology video or something
"i would like to address a recent clip of me making inappropriate facial expressions-"
"babe you don't need to be so formal, it's a tiktok"
"you shant say that, i must do this for this is my will"
BRO WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE ☠️☠️☠️
#freejungwon
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riki ☆
youre an actress that's very popular
except some ppl hate you bc they think hating popular people makes them interesting *eye roll*
safe to say.... riki is your NUMBER ONE DEFENDER
like he is the ring leader to all of those [name] stan twt group chats
he's the one leading those discord raids on your hate groups OH MY GOD 😭
he has multiple accounts and he fights every person that dares tarnish your name
twitter is his battlefield and the keyboard is his sword
anyways one day riki is so deep into an internet fight that he GETS DOXXED 😭😭
like it wasn't even graceful
i think he'd make fun of one of your haters
and the hater goes "wanna see something funny? :)"
and BOOM
ADDRESS
IP ADDRESS
FULL NAME
PERSONAL EMAIL
PHONE NUMBER
dont actually dox people guys its not funny
when riki gets doxxed they get his full name right
and the hater, his assailent, and their little posse start searching his name on social media to further dox him
and BOOM #2
THEY FIND HIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT
now riki isn't stupid
so his ig acc is private
however.....
the profile picture of his acc is a selfie of you and him kissing
they also did research on him and found out that you and him went to the same high school...
in fact they found miscellaneous pictures posted online of you and him a few years back... holding hands n shit....
OH
SHIT
this goes viral over night
like
its so bad that even news headlines are covering it
"TWITTER USER @[NAME]LUVER1209, HOT ACTRESS [NAME]'S MOST NOTORIOUS INTERNET DEFENDER, IS REVEALED TO BE HER BOYFRIEND 😱😱😱"
i feel like the public's reaction to this would be really light-hearted
like i think mst ppl would be cheering riki on
"he's so real"
"oh my god i think i was mutuals with @[name]luver1209"
"this is what true love looks like"
you have super loyal fans and riki's mutuals so they support you too
except i do think theyd be in shambles, but in good fun
"i just found out [name] has a bf im going to flush myself down a toilet"
"i can't believe she chose @[name]luver1209 when his fancams are so shit... THAT SHOULD BE ME!!!'
"i've been here waiting in line for three years and this random @[name]luver1209 swoops in and takes my woman..."
riki's stan account gains a lot of followers
and so with your permission
he posts a selfie of you and him
probably with a cheeky caption like "KISS MY ASS!!!!"
i feel like people go back and watch old talk show interviews and stuff
and if you zoom in
you'll see riki in the front rows cheering the loudest 😭
bro is everywhere
in the future there's def a moment where like
you're at a live talk show
and the host asks you about the fiasco
and you can literally just point to him in the audience like
"yeah my boyfriend's right there-- hi baby!"
and riki from the audience, behind his phone that he's using to record you like its a fancam, is like "hi baby!" back
i dont think the media even calls him riki, he's stuck as @[name]luver1209 forever
not that he minds
😭😭😭
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hyung ver.
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polaraffect · 2 years
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listen I knew that my appetite would grow on testosterone. i knew. but i didn't know. pre-T i ate like 1.5 meals a day, maybe 2 if we got lucky. i never ate breakfast. now, 5 weeks on T, i want to consume constantly. if i don't eat something in the morning the day might as well not happen. i have consumed three entire boxes of cheez-its in a four day period. this is maybe a cry for help.
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