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#ill even do 1x1s i have a Need
ariallegrorp · 1 year
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Howdy ho, friendos! I'm Ari (19F) and I am looking for a 1x1 Hadestown RP on Discord! There are three main ideas I am looking for, although I am glad to hear any ideas you may have, and I'm glad to double! Bolded characters are who I would like to play!
🥀- Orpheus + Anyone
💀- Persephone + Hades
🕯- Original Character + Orpheus (or anyone, I just mainly want Orpheus lmao)
What I WILL Do:
-Romantic Plots (CC x CC or OC x CC)
-Platonic/Familial Plots
-Fluff, Angst, and Whump
-Semi-literate to advanced literate writing- I'll match you!
What I WON'T Do:
-Smut (There is a certain limit I'll go to, that can be discussed.)
-One-liners. I prefer quality over quantity, but I need to be able to work with replies, and one line isn't enough for me!
-RP without Tupperbox. If you don't know how to use it, that's okay! I'll gladly teach you, it just keeps things organized!
PLEASE NOTE:
I have chronic pain/illness and it often can get in the way of replies some days, and I can be silent without meaning to. Don't take this as me ghosting you! I just have the worst memory known to man. Feel free to ping me as a reminder, it's a big help! I will always try to keep you updated. No matter what though, I LOVE talking OOC so even if I'm not feeling up to RP in the moment, feel free to talk to me about headcanons, the RP or what's happening in your life! I love to talk!
Interact with this post or send me a DM and I'll get back to you ASAP! Thank you, and hopefully I'll see you way down under the ground! ❤
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satanwriites · 5 years
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.... so would anyone like to do a one tree hill, star wars, or marvel lil group ? like a small, chill, 3x3-5x5 kinda deal. pls n thanks 
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kamyru · 3 years
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Random short headcanons: Her love in the force
Author’s note: The tops are placed from the highest to lowest. If someone wants me to make the same type of post for other fandoms I’m in, send me a message or a request. Also, if I mentioned something that is said in the stories, then tell me. The headcanons are more my imagination. So, I don’t want you to think that everything written here is real.
Two dimples: Hyogo Kaga, Ayumu Shinonome One dimple: Jin Namba, Toru Kurosawa No dimples: Hideki Ishigami, Shusuke Soma, Takaomi Tsugaru, Seiji Goto
Extrovert: Jin Namba, Shusuke Soma, Takaomi Tsugaru, Ayumu Shinonome, Toru Kurosawa Ambivert: Hyogo Kaga Introvert: Hideki Ishigami, Seiji Goto
Have a stage in life when they had long hair: Jin Namba, Hyogo Kaga, Shusuke Soma, Takaomi Tsugaru Haven’t a stage when they had long hair: Seiji Goto, Ayumu Shinonome, Toru Kurosawa Has the same hairstyle for their entire life: Hideki Ishigami
Have a degree in humanitarian sciences: Jin Namba, Hyogo Kaga, Takaomi Tsugaru, Toru Kurosawa Have a degree in technical sciences: Hideki Ishigami, Shusuke Soma, Seiji Goto, Ayumu Shinonome
Know what otome games are: Shusuke Soma, Ayumu Shinonome, Toru Kurosawa Haven’t heard about otome: Jin Namba, Hideki Ishigami, Hyogo Kaga, Seiji Goto Knew, but forgot: Takaomi Tsugaru
Will wear the wedding ring: Jin Namba, Hideki Ishigami, Hyogo Kaga, Shusuke Soma, Takaomi Tsugaru, Seiji Goto, Ayumu Shinonome, Toru Kurosawa Won’t wear the wedding ring:
Hyung line: Jin Namba, Hideki Ishigami, Hyogo Kaga, Shusuke Soma Maknae line: Takaomi Tsugaru, Seiji Goto, Ayumu Shinonome, Toru Kurosawa
Was in love with MC in others’ routes: Seiji Goto Weren’t in love with MC in others’ routes: Jin Namba, Shusuke Soma, Takaomi Tsugaru, Ayumu Shinonome, Toru Kurosawa Were in love with MC in every single route: Hyogo Kaga, Hideki Ishigami
Blush when buy contraception: Hideki Ishigami, Seiji Goto Don’t blush when buy contraception: Jin Namba, Hyogo Kaga, Shusuke Soma, Takaomi Tsugaru, Ayumu Shinonome, Toru Kurosawa
Know how to deal with a woman when she is on her period: Jin Namba, Hyogo Kaga, Shusuke Soma, Ayumu Shinonome Have no idea how to deal with a woman when she is on her period: Takaomi Tsugaru, Seiji Goto, Toru Kurosawa Didn’t know, but is very good nonetheless: Hideki Ishigami
Have photos of MC as wallpapers: Jin Namba, Hideki Ishigami, Takaomi Tsugaru, Toru Kurosawa Have photos of MC in the wallet: Hyogo Kaga, Seiji Goto Keep MC’s photos in private folders: Shusuke Soma, Ayumu Shinonome
Is a k-pop fan: Toru Kurosawa Know something about k-pop: Shusuke Soma, Ayumu Shinonome Know about it only because of work: Jin Namba, Hideki Ishigami, Hyogo Kaga, Takaomi Tsugaru, Seiji Goto
(1) Top gunslingers: Will hit the bull-eye even if a lobster eats two of his fingers: Jin Namba Once, MC asked him to cosplay Spike Spiegel: Seiji Goto 1. Hyogo Kaga If he was into cosplay, he would cosplay Riza Hawkeye: Shusuke Soma 2. Hideki Ishigami Has more talents than anyone can imagine: Takaomi Tsugaru Has at least a CG where he holds a gun: Ayumu Shinonome Who needs a gun when have his personality: Toru Kurosawa
(2) Most jealous: Lvl. 999: Takaomi Tsugaru Tsugaru’s competitor: Hyogo Kaga 1. Seiji Goto “I’m not jealous”: Ayumu Shinonome Definitely not confident enough to be lower: Toru Kurosawa “Isn’t Goto a wonderful man?”: Jin Namba Cutie: Hideki Ishigami Too confident for this: Shusuke Soma
(3) Most sociable: S in “spy” stays for sociable: Toru Korosawa 1. Shusuke Soma T in his name stands for “talking”: Takaomi Tsugaru Lived long enough to know how to deal with this: Jin Namba 10. Ayumu Shinonome ...: Hyogo Kaga If needed: Seiji Goto No: Hideki Ishigami
(4) Best with children: “I hATe brAtS”: Hyogo Kaga He can charm everyone: Shusuke Soma Has a younger brother: Seiji Goto A hidden gem: Hideki Ishigami He’s the kid: Ayumu Shinonome Character? Yes. Stubble? No.: Jin Namba Better than someone can imagine: Takaomi Tsugaru ???: Toru Kurosawa
(5) Faster to have a kid after marriage: Needs an early start for that basketball team he wants: Jin Namba Too good with kids to not make them: Hyogo Kaga Father material: Seiji Goto Needs a real family: Hideki Ishigami No need to rush anything: Shusuke Soma This man can wait: Ayumu Shinonome Too many problems have to be solved before this: Toru Kurosawa He has his own slow pace: Takaomi Tsugaru
(6) Most eccentric: No one is surprised: Takaomi Tsugaru No one is surprised 2: Toru Kurosawa Lived too long to not be eccentric: Jin Namba 2. Shusuke Soma Strange and sarcastic, not always eccentric: Hideki Ishigami 5. Ayumu Shinonome Too pissed off for this: Hyogo Kaga Finally, a normal person: Seiji Goto
(7) Healthiest lifestyle: No wonder he’s a beauty: Ayumu Shinonome 100. Shusuke Soma 101. Jin Namba He’s here only because he can cook and is organized: Hideki Ishigami Better than you can imagine: Toru Kurosawa Doctors cry when they see his blood tests: Hyogo Kaga Go and check his apartment, past and eating habits: Takaomi Tsugaru Needs more Subarus in his life: Seiji Goto
(8) Healthiest sleep habits: No wonder he’s a beauty: Ayumu Shinonome 100: Shusuke Soma 150: Jin Namba 200: Seiji Goto Has a dangerous night life: Toru Kurosawa S in sleep doesn’t stay for snoring *smirks*: Hyogo Kaga Please, no: Takaomi Tsugaru Sleep? What sleep?: Hideki Ishigami
(9) Best singing voice: Main vocal material: Shusuke Soma Wonderful tone: Jin Namba He’s honey not only for eyes: Ayumu Shinonome Has more talents than anyone can imagine: Takaomi Tsugaru Has to get rid of his diffidence: Hyogo Kaga 1000: Toru Kurosawa Tone-deaf: Seiji Goto He keeps his month shut: Hideki Ishigami
(10) Largest home library: It’s time to rename his residence in “Alexandria”: Hideki Ishigami Lived long enough to gather so many: Jin Namba Loves to read more than anyone can imagine: Hyogo Kaga More. More. MORE: Shusuke Soma No one knows how many they are: Ayumu Shinonome Has to do spend his money on something. Why not books?: Takaomi Tsugaru A lot of books, but all of them are thrown everywhere: Seiji Goto Not rich enough to compete with others: Toru Kurosawa
(11) Most vocal about own feelings: Has experience: Jin Namba Everyone knows: Hyogo Kaga Doesn’t have experience: Hideki Ishigami Just a cutie: Seiji Goto Perfect boyfriend: Shusuke Soma Sometimes talks about this: Ayumu Shinonome Feelings? What feelings? Is that a synonim for acting?: Toru Kurosawa Talks too much nonsense: Takaomi Tsugaru
(12) Best at taking photos: Can be hired as a photographer: Toru Kurosawa Best with technologies: Ayumu Shinonome This man can do everything: Shusuke Soma Made a wonderful selfie with MC: Takaomi Tsugaru Worse than he wants to admit: Hyogo Kaga Don’t ask him to take your photos: Seiji Goto Didn’t care too much about this: Hideki Ishigami What is a camera?: Jin Namba
(13) Most confident: 1. Hyogo Kaga 2. Shusuke Soma 3. Ayumu Shinonome 10. Jin Namba 20. Seiji Goto 50. Hideki Ishigami False Confidence: Takaomi Tsugaru Falsest Conficence: Toru Kurosawa
(14) Softest soul: Give this man all the love in the world: Seiji Goto I bet that he is hurt every time someone says that he is a cyborg: Hideki Ishigami A heart of glass: Ayumu Shinonome Messed up, dark, ill, yet so soft: Takaomi Tsugaru Softer than he’ll ever admit: Hyogo Kaga Tough cookie: Shusuke Soma Too old for this: Jin Namba What is a soul?: Toru Kurosawa
(15) Most active on social media: 1. Toru Kurosawa No wonder he knows so many people: Shusuke Soma 10. Takaomi Tsugaru 100. Ayumu Shinonome MC registered him on some of them: Jin Namba Checks them once in a blue moon: Seiji Goto Has them only for work: Hyogo Kaga Has them only for work 2: Hideki Ishigami
(16) Best at cooking: 1. Shusuke Soma 2. Jin Namba 3. Hideki Ishigami Will do better, if uses healthier products: Hyogo Kaga 10. Ayumu Shinonome Knows how to cook. But who will eat it?: Takaomi Tsugaru Edible: Toru Kurosawa No: Seiji Goto
(17) Most sarcastic: What is seriosity?: Takaomi Tsugaru 1. Hideki Ishigami 2. Ayumu Shinonome Gentleman: Shusuke Soma Rude? Yes. Sarcastic? Not always: Hyogo Kaga 10. Toru Kurosawa 11. Jin Namba Softest soul: Seiji Goto
(18) Fashionistas: Is naturally fashionable: Shusuke Soma 1. Ayumu Shinonome 1.5. Takaomi Tsugaru Tries hard to be one: Toru Kurosawa Doesn’t try hard to be one: Hyogo Kaga Great taste: Jin Namba No: Hideki Ishigami Pajamas: Seiji Goto
(19) My favorites: 1. Hideki Ishigami 2. Takaomi Tsugaru 3. Seiji Goto 4. Hyogo Kaga 5. Ayumu Shinonome 6. Toru Kurosawa 7. Jin Namba 8. Shusuke Soma
(20) Most likely for me to get along with in real life: 1. Hideki Ishigami 2. Ayumu Shinonome 3. Takaomi Tsugaru 4. Shusuke Soma 5. Toru Kurosawa 6. Seiji Goto 7. Jin Namba 8. Hyogo Kaga
Top results (For the 1st place, the guys get one point. Who has less, is placed higher. That’s just for fun. So, enjoy!): 1. Shusuke Soma (1x3+2x6+3x1+4x5+5x2+6x1+7x0+8x2): 70 points 2. Ayumu Shinonome (1x2+2x3+3x4+4x1+5x5+6x3+7x1+8x0): 74 points 3. Jin Namba (1x3+2x3+3x3+4x2+5x1+6x3+7x4+8x1): 85 points 4. Hyogo Kaga (1x2+2x3+3x2+4x2+5x5+6x3+7x2+8x1): 87 points 5. Takaomi Tsugaru (1x3+2x1+3x4+4x3+5x0+6x3+7x4+8x2): 91 points 6. Hideki Ishigami (1x3+2x2+3x2+4x3+5x2+6x1+7x3+8x4): 92 poins 7/8. Seiji Goto (1x1+2x1+3x4+4x2+5x1+6x3+7x3+8x5): 108 points 7/8. Toru Kurosawa (1x3+2x1+3x0+4x1+5x4+6x3+7x3+8x5): 108 points
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capricxs · 4 years
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so you’ve been roleplaying for years... things change, the way the community does things shift, and sometimes there’s new skills you need to pick up and adjust to in order to make your time rping as creatively rich and fulfilling as it can be. one of those things that’s become extremely important is plotting & hcing. either in groups, in indie, or doing 1x1s, these two are the foundation to your interaction (unless you’re the type to wing it). sometimes when i interact with people, it seems they don’t really click with this process, so in the guide below, i’ll help to explain why these are so important, and how to do it in a way that not only gives you a rich plot, but helps inspire and keep your writing partner engaged with you.
disclaimer --- this is just my personal experience and opinions being shared. i am not the end-all-be-all on how to interact with writing partners. this is just here to get people to begin thinking about things they otherwise wouldn’t have thought about.
questions regarding this help post can be found here. let’s jump in!
WHY IS PLOTTING & HCING SO IMPORTANT?
firstly, rp has changed a lot since the days of launching into an rp or writing a random starter for a new follower. things are a lot more established and regardless of if you’re in a bio/skeleton rp with pre-written connections, or you’re in a new plotless group or indie and you’re coming up with them on your own, it’s a major foundation to your writing experience, so don’t treat it lightly!
secondly, regardless of format, and with the shifts in rp culture, behind the scenes plotting & hcing is crucial to the development of your plot & characters. as writers, we take more time with our replies so development on dash happens a lot slower. personally i don’t mind that, but i don’t want that to hinder my writing experience so i like taking things behind the scenes to help build up dynamics and situations so the whole relationship isn’t based off one or two threads/instances.
lastly, it helps to keep things inspiring. sound dumb? you bet, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles baby. so many times i have plotted ships, sibling relationships, best friends, or other core relationships, and wanted to sink my teeth in relationship lore and background and dynamics, only to be returned with “hahah yes! i love that!” now i understand this is never ill-intentioned, but it does suck the muse right out the situation. if you do not validate & expand on your partner’s ideas, it’s not going to make that writer’s ideas feel appreciated or loved. the way to tell them you love their ideas? sink your teeth right back and send an equally meaty response right back!
PART ONE: SO YOU WANT TO PLOT
you don’t need this post to tell you how to come up with plot ideas, that’s a whole different guide, but let’s say you’re in the brainstorming process. you’re throwing ideas back and forth based on your muse’s two backgrounds and seeing what sticks. what is SUCH a downer, is when a writing partner is just ... not contributing. yes, we are all guilty of the line “i’m open to anything!” but try and limit yourself to using that line once in a conversation. hell, i prefer it when a person doesn’t even say it at all and they’re HONEST. if i come in guns-a-blazing and i ask ‘what plots do you need filled?’ if a person responds with ‘i need someone who hurt my muse’ there’s two option, i fill that plot, or i don’t. it’s that simple. don’t be afraid to say what you want, the worst that can happen is the person says ‘eh, i don’t really think that fits my character’ and you come up with something else! but when you’re already passionate about the idea, you’re setting yourself up for such great success!
so what do you do when your one (1) braincell isn’t working and you can’t come up with any connection ideas? two options, you can either go to one of the dozens of guides for basic connection ideas and give your partner something, or you can look at the other person’s bio, and your muse, and try and find connections between them. both of these are painfully easy! i’m a personal fan of the latter as it seems a bit more grounded and juicy than the former, but those can be twisted into something great too! **if you’re in a group setting, even asking what that person’s other connections are, and piggybacking off of that. these create super spicy connections. example: you find out muse a is muse b’s ex, and your muse, muse c, is best friends w muse b, so it’s safe to assume your muse c will probably not get along with muse a.
this important thing is not to make your partner feel like they’re doing all the work. because that’s never fun, and truthfully, it doesn’t make that person want to write with you if you’re not also putting in the elbow grease. plotting is fun, not a chore! make it a party!
PART TWO: NOW YOU HAVE TO BACK IT UP
you’ve got your plot now, congrats! and you’re so excited. but now you need that plot to be fleshed out a bit. there’s some history there so you’ve got to establish it. in comes the powerhouse--- my favorite part to this whole thing: HCING. it’s the most laid back, and in my opinion, creative part of the rping process. truthfully, i enjoy it more than threads because of the absolute insanity you can dig up. but i only love it if my partner can hand it back just as i can serve it.
maybe you’ve never quite thought that this part was that important, but i can assure you, if a person is giving you 3+ sentences about the dynamic of your characters, they’re trying to hc with you, and if you don’t enrich them, your dynamic is going to wither away.
i brought up an idea in the first part of this guide that’s extremely important to how you hc with your writing partner: VALIDATE & EXPAND. it’s the idea that no matter how much or how little your rp partner gives you in terms of an hc, you respond to it with a validation, which can range anywhere from ‘i LOVE that’ to as simple as a key smash and the pleading emotion, or even repeating a fraction of what they said to show you understand their vision. but then you have to back that up with expanding on that idea. hcs could be about a situation or about your writing partner’s character, so expand on how your character feels and reacts to things. it’s beyond discouraging when i write a whole idea out, explaining how my character feels in this emotionally intense setting, and my writing partner only gives me the validation portion, and now i have no idea how my opp’s character thinks, feels, or interacts.
see, a point i mentioned above is the fact that threads don’t work like they used to. and that’s fine! but hcing is an easy and fun way to make up for the fact that we take time with our threads now. if you’re rping to find rich, in-depth, satisfying dynamics, it’s going to take many many months to get your understanding of your opp’s muse, and the relationship they have, hcing fast tracks that process. i’m writing with you, i love your muse, give me the dirty details, i promise it’s not obnoxious. the more your give back, the more you will receive. so why wait around, sitting on our thumbs for me to fully get a grasp of your character’s voice, and your character’s thoughts, when we could do that on chat and have a grand time.
but now you’re thinking to yourself: okay, but how exactly do i validate and expand? and for that, we go to EXAMPLE-BOT 3000 !! not a real bot, unfortunately, but example bot has dug up a personal interaction i’ve had hcing. for context, this is a 1x1 writing partner i’ve had for years. we have an excellent dynamic and they are perfect. they have also given me permission to use our convos as example.
here is my message [ CONTEXT: this is a sandbox-star-wars-esque verse]
Okay but I had a thot in the shower,,, where the best thoughts are had. And what if,,, after this meeting and they part ways and such and it was just another weird occurrence in their lives, blastis gets a mission and it’s either to protecc salia or like guide salia across the galaxy to do something smth and save some lives or whatever. And ofc not because she couldn’t take care of herself but he has smth she doesn’t that gives an edge or just a close loved one of her’s didn’t want to see her get hurt. So you have these two traveling across the galaxy,,, sometimes arguing bc she can manage herself but he’s just fulfilling the mission. And them both kicking but. And all the steamy tension and cliches.
let’s break this message down before we get into the response. first, hcs don’t have to be formal. they are the most fun when they’re less together and don’t rely so much on “sounding good”. you’re just rolling off the top of your brain, chatting like you would with a friend, don’t worry too much on formalities because this isn’t the place for that.
i am also presenting my idea in a way that is confident, and with plenty of ideas to work on. i am involving my partner’s character but not godmodding. i am taking things i have learned from character introductions (like salia being independent and empowered, and wanting to do good/help others) and not disrespecting them, but having her take part in the plot. there are also small bits at the end of this idea that are little nuggets to build off of.
let’s look at my partner’s response.
AAAAH okay i love the idea!!! however shes a v. freelance kinda healer and doesnt really take official things. and she doesnt have loved ones that would know if there was danger - she can telepathically communicate with her own people but if she doesnt want them to know things they cant just. force their way in its a Closed Communication line not an open invitation into her thoughts asdfghjsh. But i could imagine that some guy or family hire her to find their children maybe who were lost on their adventure/mission with friends and the last message sounded like one was hurt,,, badly. and the other cant help for some reason. and they hire blastis to both protect her and later the people shes supposed to heal??
but anYWAY the Important part is ofc. the tension. and his big ass in her ship bc why would she?? take another if hers is right there. so hes gonna take that single bed and not complain. but ooof those two?? just kicking ass and being amazing. growing on each other more and more.
right off the bat is validation. and validation doesn’t have to be as direct as it is in this message. the validation is important here specifically, my partner showed they were interested and supportive of the idea i presented, but needed the plot to fit in their character’s story better. we see them making adjustments--- this is a collaborative experience so i alone shouldn’t be the one coming up with the plot, nor would i want my idea taken just as is. instead they mold it to fit what makes sense, getting more specific than my idea with a “mission purpose”. this is where the bouncing off of each other begins.
they then take the “bait” and start building on the tension our muses will experience (this is a ship afterall). while this is the beginning of our conversation, and there’s aren’t specific moments we’re working off of, this is setting the ground for future headcanons (see: the focus on sexual tension, living in a ship together, kicking butt), we are both mutually giving each other little tethers to take hold of. this is a very good start to begin working out the dynamic and situations these two characters are found in, with multiple different launch-off points.
CONCLUSION
there’s no right or wrong way to rp. even the tips listed here might not be applicable to your style, just having the idea in the back of your mind helps. the important thing is you and the person you’re writing with are having fun. you both are respecting each other’s time and ideas and creating a beautiful dynamic or world or relationship. this is a collaborative experience, and it’s important not to leave your partner feeling like they’re doing all the heavy lifting creatively.
hope this helped! as always, you can send me any questions you have in regards to this topic HERE. you can find a tag of answered questions in relation to this topic HERE.
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citrinekay · 4 years
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What are you predictions for season 3, and what would you like to see happen? Anything particular in terms of Holden and Bills character development?
Oh, good question! I’ll try to answer this as to what I *realistically* want to happen, not what my fanfiction brain wants lol
Predictions: 
The big question mark at the end of S2 is obviously Bill and Nancy’s relationship. I don’t see them reconciling, and I find it far more interesting for them to follow just how a divorce would affect Bill personally and also Brian’s future. I’m sure everything with Brian’s situation would complicate a divorce and custody agreements. I’d also just like to see more development of Brian in general since he represents that foundational aspect of the show which is nature vs. nurture. Are killers born or made? And at what point in a person’s development can an intervention be made to stop them from progressing into something worse? I think him being taken out of that nuclear family environment and thrown into the emotional instability of his parents separating would really increase that pressure. At the same time, this might be a wake-up call for Bill. He might not be able to save his marriage, but it might persuade him to try harder to be a better/ more involved father to Brian. (Not that he doesn’t already love his son, but he openly admits to Nancy in 1x7 that he has trouble connecting emotionally to Brian.)
As far as the BSU is concerned, I think they were really angling towards bringing Jim Barney into the team in S2 so I would love to see more of him! There’s a whole chapter in the Mindhunter book about Agent Jud Ray (who I believe Jim is based on) and how he was one of the first black agent in the department. Wendy’s initial conclusion about his race interfering with the study was obviously proven wrong in the Pierce interview when Jim makes more headway in the conversation than Holden. Atlanta was the big case that really launched the BSU in real life as well, and I imagine they will be much busier between interviews and requests for consults so they’ll need additional help in S3 to keep on track with the study! 
Cases I’d like to see them work on the show: The Trailside Killer (irl, John Douglas predicted that the killer would have a severe stutter! That chapter of the Mindhunter book was so fascinating to me because he explains how he got to that conclusion and makes it sound very simple when in reality it takes someone who is extremely skilled at studying behavior to predict such a thing. I can just imagine Holden laying that out in his profile and all the locals going 😮😮😮) Robert Hansen (he abducted prostitutes in Alaska, took them out into the wilderness, and hunted them like wild game with a rifle. The police actually got his name from a victim who survived and it turned into more of a cat-and-mouse game to actually prove he was the real killer rather than a whodunit!)  Larry Gene Bell (he killed a young woman named Shari Faye Smith and then proceeded to call her family and torment them for days before revealing that she really was dead.) These are all detailed in the Mindhunter book, which I totally recommend if you like the show and are interested in the psychology of profiling. I would also love to see them at some point get into the Green River Killer, but I think that would come later perhaps in a possible S4 or S5. That was the case during which John Douglas fell ill with encephalitis that nearly killed him and almost ended his career with the FBI. I can see them leading in that direction with Holden’s panic attacks and his disillusionment with his own beliefs/techniques, but I think a gradual build-up towards something so drastic would make it even more interesting!
As far as character development is concerned:
Holden: For him to question his techniques! We see the parallel of the dirty shirtsleeve in the end of 2x9 that hearkens back to 1x1 in which he’s questioning their procedures so I think it’s a natural conclusion that he might be wondering whether he is doing the right things or following the right logic. I would also like for them to go more into the panic disorder storyline (which they completely dropped after like 2x3 😐) Another moment I found interesting from the Mindhunter book was that Douglas was both censured and given a commendation within months of each other for different things that happened with the Atlanta case. He admitted it made him question his role within the FBI and whether or not they actually valued his work - a point which comes up again later with the Green River Killer and his encephalitis. Basically, he was so overworked (almost 150 cases at one time) that he was stressed out to the point of illness. Holden started out with that “blue flamer” mentality and I would love to see that broken down and turned on it’s head a bit. Of course, it goes without saying that I want him and Bill to fix their relationship and be close friends again. I know them arguing is good for tension and drama, but I miss the days when they shared good-natured banter and worked together seamlessly 😞
Bill: like I mentioned above, his family situation is going to be a trial by fire. He’s been married for a long time, and says that he doesn’t know what he would do without Nancy. How would he work through the divorce? How would he adjust to bachelor life? How would the stress of that situation affect him in his work? I can see a lot of repressed feelings, anger, and sadness in his future :( He isn’t one to talk about his personal issues at work or complain when it’s becoming too much. I would love to see his friendship with Wendy continue to be a lifeline to him during a difficult period. And obviously, for him to repair his relationship with Holden. 
Wendy: For her to get back with Kay!!! She’s such a pro at studying human behavior, but Kay was right in the break-up scene - Wendy’s issue was with herself, not Kay. She judged Kay for the kind of person she has to be to her ex and her son, but is also keeping her identity as a lesbian separate from her work. She needs to work on herself a little bit before she can revisit that relationship. Even though she was out in Boston, I think she still has issues with her sexual identity that she needs to resolve and find peace with. I’d also like to get more backstory on her. We know virtually nothing about her aside from her past in Boston. It would be pretty cool to see her back in interviews, too. I’m not sure if Ted would be down with that or how it would happen, but I loved the two interviews we got with her. She’s so brilliant, I want to see her in action more often 💕
aughh sorry this got so long!! lol I could literally go on forever, but I’ll stop right here. Thanks for the ask 💕
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katewaliss · 4 years
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1x1 plot list!
hello girls, gays and theys! my name is crissy, i’m 21, go by she/her pronouns and live in the PST timezone. i am celebrating bullshitting my way through my junior year with ( copious amounts of tequila but also ) make a list of 1x1 ideas / plot bunnies because i need something to do during this Borentine and what better way to spend it then making myself cry with ships! 
i primarily send really long keysmash head cannons through discord and the ims, but i am also down to do replies ( on tumblr or discord ) and ask memes are my most favorite. i am introverted af but very excited abt ships so i really like having rp partners who like want to stay up all night and write and scream with me, so if that sounds like u, come thru! 
if u like any of these please don’t hesitate to shoot me an im! 
also my discord is daddy devito#2918 ( & yes, i do hate myself  )
were starting with mermaids bc i love mermaids
ALSO YES I LIKE OPPOSITE PLOTS DONT @@@@@ ME!!!!!
ALSO ALL OF THESE PLOTS CAN BE GAY! BE GAY DO CRIMES!
i’ve always kind of wanted one based loosely on these pictures x, x, x. im thinking ponyo meets enchanted meets h20 little mermaid AF realness! like maybe hes this lil regular boy high school college student taking pictures and stuff and sees this girl wash up on the shore looking very confused. so he helps her and you know, shes a little hysterical and cant walk very well, takes her into his apartment puts a towel over here bc she like keeps talking abt how shes a mermaid and hes like oh my god shes crazy ahh. she keeps saying her dad is king of the ocean and hes like???? do u have a last name? and the police dont know anything abt her she has no file, no id, no finger print in the database? 
basically the mermaid is staying w the college student in his apartment and he like teaches her what the microwave and the tv is and its very soft  they fall in luv maybe drama he has a girl friend who sucks a lot who is angry abt mermaid girl idk maybe the government realizes and tries to steal her! fun THAT FIRST PIC? MAYBE HE SAVED HER WHEN HE WAS A KID ONCE FROM DROWNING!!! AHHH
alternatively i found these pictures were are in the same vein very aquamarine x, x, x, lifeguard off duty surfing and he gets stuck in a gnarly wave and almost drowns but this mermaid saves his life! and he comes to see her a lot on the beach and they hang out and fall in love he teaches her how to speak english shows her his phone!!! MAYBE THE GOVERNMENT IS ALSO POACHING HER WE LOVE DRAMA
ok last mermaid plot? BUT ITS A SIREN PLOT!!!!!!! these sirens/a siren wipes out this sailors entire ship with the sirens song they all get drowned/eaten .... but plot twist! this one sailor homie lives bc he is DEAF and therefore IMMUNE TO THE SIREN SONG!! so this siren keeps tryna sing at him and its not working and u know they fall in love good stuff MORE POACHES MORE PIRATES MORE GOVERNMENT TRYNA KILL THE AQUATIC AMERICAN BC I LOVE SUFFERING modern or maybe set back in the day???? spicy
anthour or a sculptor that writes a book w a main character or makes a statue and it comes to life and has no perception of human stuff and is like a big alien
also literally all of these plots can be made gay as the flyest bi i ENCOURAGE it!!!! i will play either character in any of them pls tell me which one u like if u like one
pls the clown clown valedictorian plot
ok speaking of giving the gays everything they want
damn i just want a cheesy wlw 1x1 plot where the first girl is a famous celebrity hella spoiled very purse dog paris hilton type and her fancy convertible sports car breaks down smack dab in a small ass hick nowheresville town and this flannel wearing mannerless tomboy mechanic comes to fix her car but rich girl is stuck in town a few days while they order the part she needs for her car bc it’s a small town they don’t have it and they get closer and the celebrity girl is humbled by the town and learns a lot abt the world and herself just ,, good times LISTEN!!!! zendaya and kristine froseth ???? SPICY
ok maybe a period piece lady knight / princess plot where she was personally assignment to the princess but maybe its a whole mulan thing where no one knows the night is a girl and is posing as a man bc women were allowed to be knights and the princess is betrothed to some loser prince once again ill play either
princess body guard plots always smack
ok princess protection program BUT GET THIS instead of that its my boy dmitri who is the heir to the russian throne or some made up european country but theres an assasination attempt so hes told he has to go into witness protection. and this dude or girls dad is head of cia/fbi and dmitri has to pose as a foreign exchange student at y/ns college and be shown around/baby sat by them. they hate eachother. probably bc dmitri is obnoxious and entitled and sleeps w everyone. he was a matthew daddario fc but not that necessary!
cheerleaders on opposite squads who got the sexual tension!!!!
plot based off hollywood the netflix limited series where its 1940s-1950s hollywood and maybe actors falling in love, an actor and a director? OR omg even better an actor falling in love with some sort of stage crew, lighting, camera person............SPICY! 
a beauty / makeup youtube influencer and a pranking rant gaming sort of youtuber and they have to collab and hate it points if its gay
that cliche plot where ur friends older brother is hot
ok kstew / naomi scott .....that is such.....a wave
UGLY BETTY PLOT BITCH!!!!!! REVERSE THE ROLES OR MAKE IT GAY
i saw this gifset of margo robbie and michael b jordan talking abt how they are eachothers celebrity crush and it got my brain turning 
a very whimsical hopeless romantic artist who finds a muse in a no nonsense american college student studying law studying abroad
PERCY JACKSON BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE HUNGER GAMES BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
business man/prodigal son who falls in love with a stripper/escort
harry potter......next gen................please.............scorose............but like can i play ravenclaw soft boy nothing like draco scorpio BUT ALSO ALL THE HP i also really like ocs also BEAUXBATONS DRUMSTRANG ( if anyone wants to help me w a not hogwarts but other wizarding school rp let me know )
not to b cliche but uh....pastors son bad boy plot yes!
alternatively bad girl good boy/girl plot yes! ( can i pls play bad girl seulgi its Dire )
horror until dawn stuff
soul eater? death note? OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB BITCH!!!! ANIME!
the epically cliche popular person failing math and is gonna get kicked off cheer gets tutored by biggest loser in school and only agrees to tutor her in math if she teaches them how to be cool to impress crush (popular persons friend) and they do that, they start to bond, she gives nerd a makeover the whole school falls in love with them and the popular girls real jealous and wHEw
a disgruntled detective whos wife cheated on him with his partner and he drinks everyday (also could b a lady) throws himself into work and this waitress at the diner he works at who is the opposite of him and very sunshiney
OKAY HANNIBAL but like the hannibal is a lady!
superhero x villian plot! spicy maybe theyre exes! or they went to the same super power school? 
SPEAKING OF SUPERHEROS I WANT A MIRACULOUS LADYBUG PLOT RIGHT FUCKING NOW SOMEONE PLAY CHOU TZUYU AS MARINETTE!!!!!!!!!
also every disney plot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think this will get added to but for now this is the gist HIT ME THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!
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ynkkoo-a · 4 years
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            ♡◞  𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐨  𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬  𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒖  !
            not  at  me  repurposing  one  of  my  theme  graphics  bc  i’m  a  lil  lazy  babie  ,  but  !  since  i  jus  hit  another  follower  milestone  n  the  decade  is  comin  to  a  close  ,  i  jus  wanted  to  say  thank  u  to  all  my  mutuals  n  followers  n  such  who  rly  made  this  last  year  enjoyable  on  this  hellsite  !  2019  was  tough  on  a  lot  of  us  in  a  lot  of  ways  ,  but  we  all  did  it  ,  babyluvs  !  we  saw  it  out  to  the  end  n  hopefully  the  20′s  are  a  lot  prettier  for  us  all  !  p.s.  i’m  sorry  to  anyone  not  mentioned  !  i  hav  the  memory  n  attention  span  of  a  babie  fish  ,  but  i  luv  all  of  u  soso  so  much  n  u  rly  all  do  mean  the  absolute  world  to  me  !  ♡
            first  off  ,  jus’  a  quick  an  honourable  mention  to  all  of  my  nonnies  of  the  year  ,  wherever  u  babies  are  now  !  in  particular  ,  my  cherry  nonnie  ,  my  jk  anon  (  @jminacious​​  )  ,  my  boo  ,  my  strawberry  nonnie  ,  n  my  grades  anon  !  n  anyone  else  who  has  sent  me  sweet  nonnies  ,  these  r  jus  the  recurring  ones  of  the  year  heh  !  u  sweet  nonnies  own  my  heart  n  truly  made  this  blog  such  a  lovely  n  pretty  n  positive  experience  for  me  ,  n  i  cannot  properly  express  w  words  how  much  all  of  ur  sweet  mssgs  meant  n  mean  to  me  always  !  ^♡^
            starting  off  w  the  mutuals  i  literally  never  speak  to  ,  bc  of  my  shy  babie  antics  ,  but  who  i  admire  from  afar  so  much  !  ur  all  soso  talented  ,  jus  all  around  beautiful  souls  who  deserve  the  prettiest  days  .  pleathe  feel  free  to  come  talk  to  me  ,  i’ll  luv  u  down  w  my  whole  heart  since  i’m  practically  ur  secret  admirer  anyway  .
@miyanez , @kimseokjvn , @rmsrpt , @capitae , @chunghart , @aronpiper , @jinjeongguks , @yukhciz , @cjdoesrpt , @pocmuzings ,  @chuuiez , @leeieno , @igorrpt , @luvgifs , @joonkookies , @drunkblushed , @savta , @frcylan , @jinsoouls  !
            now  ,  to  give  all  my  luv  to  those  who  literally  . . .  hav  my  heart  .  we  haven’t  talked  much  ,  again  bc  i’m  a  shy  babie  ,  tho  sum  of  us  hav  jus  recently  been  talking  more  which  makes  me  very  sparkly  ,  but  !  we  exchange  ims  here  or  there  ,  send  an  ask  or  two  ,  reply  to  n  like  each  other’s  posts  ,  support  each  other’s  content  ---  u  know  ,  we’re  cute  mutuals  !  the  ‘  will  they  ,  won’t  they  ‘  mutuals  !  for  realsies  ,  tho  ,  ur  all  so  talented  ,  whether  it  be  in  making  gifs  or  themes  or  graphics  or  writing  or  whatever  !  ur  talent  astounds  me  n  i  am  beyond  in  luv  w  u  !
@sprfluous , @chanheez , @loonarz , @jungjnsoul , @yeriimss , @hotjoong , @hiqey , @tcehyvng , @kvinabstract , @stcinfelds , @kermitgrinch , @mcninas , @doyyeon , @jminssii , @jiminslolli , @raihelps , @svnflxwer , @softcarpenters  !
            n  now  for  honourable  mentions  !  the  few  ppl  on  this  site  who  my  shy  babie  antics  did  not  keep  me  from  talking  to  n  becoming  friends  w  .  these  are  the  literal  luvs  of  my  life  !  our  ships  are  literally  *chefs  kiss*  ,  i  feel  comfy  cryin’  n  rantin’  to  u  guys  without  worryin  abt  being  annoying  n  i  hope  the  feelin’  is  mutual  ,  i  don’t  feel  even  an  ounce  of  anxiety  when  talkin’  to  u  guys  which  is  such  a  major  thing  for  me  ?  i  consider  u  guys  my  friends  sm  n  our  friendship  literally  means  the  world  to  me  .  ur  soso  talented  in  so  many  ways  n  u  hav  the  loveliest  hearts  ,  n  i’m  so  honoured  to  be  able  to  be  ur  friend  n  to  write  w  u  all  !  
            p.s.  there’s  cute  lil  mssgs  for  each  of  u  under  the  cut  !
@pointlcss , @ultraviclets , @musetories , @briingmetolifc , @heartvfire  !
♡◞  @pointlcss  !
                    alli  !  ♡  i  am  literally  so  happy  that  u  happened  upon  my  lil  1x1  post  a  couple  months  back  n  decided  to  mssg  me  abt  threading  bc  our  cute  lil  starstruck  plot  turned  into  a  friendship  that  i  am  soso  so  thankful  for  ?  there  is  not  anyone  that  i  wld  hav  rather  gone  thru  it  over  jungoo’s  long  hair  ,  tattoos  ,  n  haircut  w  .  that  one  pic  of  jjk  from  season’s  greetings  as  our  matching  discord  icons  . . .  stayin’  up  to  yell  abt  stray  kids’  n  txt’s  comebacks  . . .  i  literally  luv  this  for  us  ?  ur  soso  talented  n  making  gifsets  n  writing  ,  n  i’m  so  happy  i  cld  make  this  last  year  a  lil  bit  special  for  u  ,  bc  u’ve  made  this  year  such  a  special  n  pretty  one  for  me  too  !  i  can’t  wait  to  see  where  our  cute  lil  plot  n  ship  takes  n  i  hope  the  year  has  even  more  luvly  things  in  store  for  us  !  i  luv  n  adore  u  soso  so  much  .  u  rly  are  the  sweetest  soul  out  there  n  i’m  so  happy  to  consider  u  a  friend  !  also  thank  u  for  jus’  now  informing  me  abt  bts’  2020  tour  i  owe  u  my  lifeKSHDKJ  ♡
♡◞  @ultraviclets  !
                    ness  !  ♡  literally  . . .  the  luv  of  my  life  ,  perhaps  ?  i  remember  following  u  when  u  published  ur  first  theme  ,  bc  i  was  jus  like  .  wowow  wubbzy  ?  this  is  beautiful  n  free  n  i’m  broke  n  u  hav  my  heart  ?  n  u  know  ,  for  a  while  we  were  sort  of  will  they  ,  won’t  they  mutuals  ,  too  ,  which  was  cute  for  us  ,  but  i  think  we  actually  started  talking  when  we  were  both  in  abroad  ?  n  then  u  mssged  me  later  on  to  lmk  that  jjk  was  open  in  ur  rp  if  i  wanted  to  join  n  it  made  me  so  absolutely  soft  ???  like  .  ik  it  was  jus  a  lil  thing  but  u  captured  my  whole  HEART  in  that  moment  ?  n  now  ur  genuinely  sumone  that  i  trust  so  much  ,  like  .  the  other  day  when  u  let  me  rant  to  u  a  lil  bit  abt  smth  kinda  silly  ,  rly  ,  it  jus  meant  the  world  to  me  ?  n  u  mean  the  world  to  me  n  !!!  writing  w  u  is  absolutely  wonderful  always  n  our  current  ship  is  *chefs  kiss*  even  tho  i  hav  yet  to  reply  to  our  thread  again  BUT  !!!  i  will  do  it  ,  i  pinky  promise  ,  i’m  sorry  i’m  the  worst  .  u  deserve  the  whole  wide  world  .  ur  talented  beyond  belief  ,  ur  such  a  blessing  to  the  rpc  n  this  hellsite  as  a  whole  ,  n  i  adore  n  am  soso  so  thankful  for  our  luvly  lil  friendship  every  time  we  talk  .  u  truly  hav  made  this  icky  year  a  lot  less  icky  !  u  hav  my  whole  heart  !  ♡
♡◞  @musetories  !
                    sarah  !  ♡  u’ve  genuinely  been  one  of  my  best  friends  for  four  years  +  one  month  now  n  like  ?  wowow  wubbzy  ?  that’s  such  a  long  time  !  from  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  to  lit  rally  whatever  tf  we’re  doin  rn  .  u  were  the  first  person  i  ever  rly  shipped  w  on  this  hellsite  ,  even  tho  i  was  a  whole  babie  n  my  writing  was  godforsaken  at  the  time  .  n  now  we  lit  rally  hav  so  many  ships  up  our  sleeves  that  i  can’t  even  name  them  all  ,  but  i  luv  each  n  every  one  of  them  soso  so  much  ?  sum  of  them  are  so  iconic  that  they’re  jus’  eternal  now  (  we’re  rly  ALWAYS  on  our  eli  &  zazzy  bullshit  )  n  i  kind  of  adore  that  for  us  ?  we’ve  spent  so  many  our  jus’  stayin  up  into  the  night  /  morning  writing  novels  in  my  dms  ,  n  those  are  genuinely  sum  of  my  fondest  rp  memories  ?  we  don’t  rly  talk  quite  as  much  anymore  ,  but  that’s  okay  n  it  happens  !  we’ve  had  sum  ups  n  downs  ,  but  i’m  genuinely  soso  so  thankful  for  ur  friendship  these  last  four  years  n  here’s  to  four  more  heh  !  n  also  u  got  my  into  bts  so  i  owe  u  my  lifeKJSHKD  ♡
♡◞  @briingmetolifc  !
                    mozzie  !  ♡  wowow  wubbzy  ,  i  cld  genuinely  write  a  novel  abt  u  ?  we’ve  been  friends  for  practically  four  years  now  ,  too  ,  n  to  think  it  all  started  w  our  one  lil  ship  in  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  !  i  can  actually  n  genuinely  jus  talk  to  u  abt  anything  ?  whether  it  be  our  ships  ,  a  random  plot  i  wanna  write  ,  the  political  state  of  our  country  ,  how  fucked  ap  classes  are  ,  mister  jungoo  himself  ,  whatever  issues  i’m  having  w  sumone  that  i  need  to  get  off  my  chest  ---  there’s  literally  no  limit  or  bounds  to  what  we  can  talk  to  n  it’s  so  nice  ?  like  .  i  genuinely  trust  u  so  much  ?  u’ve  always  jus  kinda  been  That  Person  who  i  know  i  can  trust  w  anything  ,  who  i  never  felt  wld  judge  me  ?  like  i  can  jus  tell  u  anythin  ,  i  trust  u  so  much  .  ur  genuinely  one  of  my  best  friends  ,  even  when  ur  tryin  to  fight  my  babie  or  we’re  both  bein’  bratty  n  silent  treatmenting  each  other  or  ur  bein  a  stubborn  lil  babie  n  won’t  let  me  do  ur  theme  for  u  even  tho  !!!  i  luv  doing  ur  themes  !  but  it’s  okay  bc  u  hav  my  heart  ,  n  i  genuinely  ???  wld  be  such  a  different  person  w/o  u  in  my  life  for  the  past  four  years  i’m  sure  ?  n  also  ur  such  an  amazing  writer  ,  ur  muses  are  so  unique  n  ur  writing  is  so  fluid  n  ???  god  !!!  everythin  abt  u  is  smth  that  i  adore  .  pleathe  come  to  california  n  be  my  first  kissie  . . .  i  luv  u  !  ♡
♡◞  @heartvfire​  !
                    kacchan  !  ♡  oh  my  god  ???  where  in  the  world  do  i  even  BEGIN  ???  ur  genuinely  one  of  the  most  important  ppl  in  my  life  .  i  met  u  first  when  i  was  a  literal  fckin  babie  in  the  rp  that  shall  not  be  named  a  whole  four  years  ago  now  ,  n  like  .  we  didn’t  talk  a  ton  at  first  ,  but  u  were  never  weird  or  condescending  bc  i  was  young  ?  like  ,  we  eventually  did  start  talking  n  i’m  soso  like  ???  happy  that  we  got  close  ?  like  .  since  day  one  ,  i’ve  looked  up  to  ur  writing  n  u  as  a  person  ?  ur  characters  were  always  so  insanely  creative  and  unique  and  ur  writing  was  so  fluid  n  beautiful  n  just  ?  u  were  literal  goals  to  lil  14yr  old  kookoo  .  n  even  now  ,  whenever  i  do  a  reply  to  u  ,  i  will  literally  write  n  rewrite  it  five  times  over  before  posting  it  bc  i  want  to  make  sure  it’s  as  good  as  urs  is  !  like  !!!  god  ur  so  talented  !  n  like  .  especially  as  of  late  ,  we’ve  jus  gotten  super  close  ?  n  like  .  i’m  genuinely  so  happy  abt  it  ???  our  friendship  is  genuinely  a  WHOLE  blessing  in  my  life  ,  like  .  ik  i  can  talk  to  u  abt  anything  n  u  can  talk  to  me  abt  anything  n  we’ll  meet  eachother  w  the  same  amount  of  enthusiasm  ?  we  can  vent  to  each  other  n  completely  understand  n  empathise  n  talk  things  out  so  we  feel  better  n  it’s  jus  ???  we  jus’  get  each  other  ??  so  nice  .  thank  u  for  listening  to  me  when  i’m  anxious  or  sad  ,  n  for  not  thinkin  ill  of  me  when  i’m  bein  a  brat  ,  even  when  it’s  for  silly  reasons  ,  n  for  listenin  to  n  not  judging  me  when  i  talk  abt  jungoo  n  bts  ,  even  tho  i  talk  to  them  a  lot  n  ik  i  can  be  a  bit  much  sumtimes  .  like  ,  genuinely  ?  i’m  abt  to  start  crying  rn  ,  i’m  so  thankful  for  u  .  u’ve  helped  shape  me  so  much  as  a  person  .  helped  me  grow  as  a  writer  .  i  met  u  at  one  of  the  worst  n  most  important  ages  of  my  life  n  u’ve  impacted  my  life  such  an  insane  amount  ???  u’ve  always  been  the  first  person  to  talk  to  n  comfort  me  when  things  go  to  shit  n  i  truly  cannot  express  how  much  that  has  always  meant  to  me  .  i  genuinely  think  i  wld  be  a  bit  of  a  different  person  n  not  as  confident  in  my  writing  if  i  didn’t  hav  u  to  look  up  to  for  these  past  four  years  .  i  trust  u  so  much  n  i  luv  u  soso  so  much  !  n  i  am  going  to  reply  to  the  dm  u  sent  me  properly  ,  i  jus  need  2  formulate  my  thoughts  properly  first  ,  so  pleathe  hav  this  for  now  !  u  literally  hav  my  whole  HEART  !!!  ♡
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snarky-sims-witch · 5 years
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StrangerVille Survival Challenge
TOS
This challenge is loosely inspired by Pinstar's Apocalypse Challenge; however, my challenge is more focused on the StrangerVille story and designed to make use of much of StrangerVille's content, so I think it's different enough from Pinstar's challenge to stand on its own.
If you repost, edit, or write another version of this challenge based on mine, please credit both Pinstar and myself and link back to both our challenges. Thank you!
Story
The Mother has utterly destroyed StrangerVille. There is nothing left but abandoned buildings and a town overrun with toxic plants. Most of the inhabitants have fled in terror, but the few who remain are infected... and highly contagious, but your Sim knows they can't be the only survivor who is still healthy. Others are out there somewhere. Your Sim must find a way to live in this dangerous new world and look for other survivors.
Objective
Start with nothing but an empty plot of land and a desire to survive. Build a fully self-sustainable fallout shelter and gather up a colony of fellow survivors who will help you grow your base. The challenge ends when you have a colony of 8 Sims and have built a finished, self-sustainable shelter that can accommodate your entire colony. Each member of the colony must be assigned a role and be masters of their role's skills.
Getting Started
Reach Act 3 of the StrangerVille Mystery story any way you want with a random, disposable Sim. I highly recommend downloading TwistedMexi's All Cheats Unlocked mod and using the command narrative.start_narrative narrative_strangetown_act3 in the cheat console to just set the story to Act 3 immediately. If you don't want to use mods, then just get to Act 3 using as many cheats as you like with this random Sim. The only purpose of this is to enable the crazy weather for the challenge.
Make a young adult Sim in CAS. This Sim can have any appearance, gender customisations, traits, aspiration, voice, and walk style you want. You may use any CC you like on them that doesn't affect gameplay in any way.
You may use the in-game personality quiz to determine your Sim’s starting skills and traits, but you must quit any career it assigns you as soon as you start playing and you must still remove all your starting funds.
If Cats & Dogs is installed, you may give your Sim one pet. Only one. The pet can be a cat or a dog of any breed/mix, and have any appearance and traits you want.
Move your household into any bulldozed, empty lot in StrangerVille.
Open the cheat console with CTRL + SHIFT + C and type in testingcheats true, followed by money 0. Then type in testingcheats false.
Overall Rules
No mods that give you an unfair advantage in the challenge. Mods that make any aspect of the game easier for your Sim or help your Sim in any way in the challenge are not allowed.
No cheats of any kind except for bb.moveobjects on for creative building purposes. Any cheats the challenge specifically instructs you to use are okay, but only when the challenge specifies it. For example, you can use the money cheat only to take away all your Sim's money at the beginning of the challenge. You can't use the money cheat again after that.
Lifespans must be set to Normal with Auto-Aging On for all Sims. Sims must be allowed to age naturally. No early birthdays. No prolonging life/preventing death/resurrecting dead Sims.
No careers! No rabbithole careers. No active careers. No work from home careers. No custom careers. No careers of any kind. Period. The epidemic in StrangerVille has caused the job market to collapse. Sims must make money by selling items they've crafted, harvested, or collected.
No member of your household can leave StrangerVille. All roads going in and out are blocked off and the bizarre weather has made travel too dangerous. Sims may travel to other lots in StrangerVille but cannot use any forbidden luxuries on those lots (toilets, showers, etc). Assume all appliances and tech are broken on these lots.
The cell phone is forbidden. Autonomous phone interactions can be cancelled without penalty, but you cannot use the phone for any reason. Cell towers have been knocked out, leaving phones out of service.
You may purchase in-game rewards with satisfaction points you earned properly without cheats, but Potions of Youth are off-limits. You are limited to one Money Tree. You may not exploit the glitch to get more Money Tree Seeds.
Shelter
With harmful airborne spores everywhere, its only a matter of time before your Sim breathes in so much of it that they, too, succumb to this terrible illness. It's not safe to be outdoors for long periods of time and infected Sims roam the streets at night. The weather has knocked out power lines and the water tower, severely limiting your Sim's access to electricity and indoor plumbing.
As soon as you are on your empty lot with $0, time starts ticking. You have exactly 24 hours to build an underground shelter that is protected from the elements, otherwise you fail the challenge. If you started a new save file, this should be exactly 8:00AM the following morning.
Your shelter must be entirely underground and protected from the harsh StrangerVille weather (so a door separating your shelter from the outside). The shelter does not need to have anything in it. It does not need wall coverings or flooring. It doesn't even need to be more than a 1x1 square. As long as your Sim has somewhere they can stand that is completely underground and protected from the elements, you've passed the first 24 hours. (HINT: Fishing in Shady Acres can be both profitable and an easy source of food early on in the challenge).
After the first 24 hours, all Sims in your household have a strict 9pm curfew. All Sims must be inside the shelter and remain in the shelter from 9pm to 7am every night for their own safety.
You can only have one item that uses electricity in each room of your shelter. Lights must be candles, oil lamps, or the DIY wall light that came with StrangerVille.
Your shelter is lacking in indoor plumbing. You may only have three “plumbing” items in your entire shelter. You are limited to:
Rustic basin sinks
WooHoo bushes (GT or JA – not subject to the plumbing item limit)
Portable camping shower (OR)
DIY shower (SV)
The homemade toilet and bath craftable on the workbench
Food
The Mother's infection doesn't seem to have affected the water or the fish in the town, but nothing grown on land outdoors is safe to eat. It's all been contaminated by airborne spores. The epidemic has caused all the local shops to shut down, making grocery shopping a thing of the past. Your Sim has no choice but to find a way to grow their own produce underground.
Sims may not eat anything they do not have all the ingredients for. 
Sims may not eat any meals that do not require any ingredients. All meals must require at least one ingredient.  The only exception to this is the birthday cake. Sims may cook and eat birthday cakes, but only for the purpose of celebrating a birthday. A Sim must age up using the cake.
Your Sim may not grow anything above ground, not even if it's indoors. All food must be grown underground in the shelter to protect them from contamination. (HINT: You need medium wall height to be able to grow trees underground)
Sims may catch and eat fish that they've caught.
Sims may not purchase, plant, grow, harvest, touch, eat, or carry bizarre fruit. No bizarre fruit may ever come into contact with your Sims or be brought into the shelter. No Sim may ever interact with a bizarre plant. If any Sim in your household comes into contact with a bizarre plant or bizarre fruit, they must be killed off or kicked out immediately.
Grow Your Colony
Once your Sim has established a proper shelter and a way to safely grow their own produce, it's time to start thinking bigger. Surely your Sim can't be the only healthy person left in StrangerVille. There must be others like them out there somewhere, hiding, struggling to survive. Wouldn't it be nice to band together and form a colony of survivalists? If they could just find them in the sea of infected Sims wandering around...
No Sim in your household may interact with an infected/possessed Sim. If a Sim in your household autonomously interacts with an infected/possessed Sim, they must be immediately killed off or kicked out of the household in order to protect the rest of the colony. This applies to all Sims regardless of age or relation to any other Sims in the household.
If your starting Sim interacts with an infected/possessed Sim, they must also leave the colony. The role of Leader then gets passed to another Sim in the colony. This is the only exception to the rule about not changing roles in the next section. If your starting Sim is the only Sim in the colony, you fail the challenge.
Your Sim cannot add the first new member of the colony until the shelter functions like a proper “home.” It must have:
A method of bathing and using the bathroom inside the shelter
A method of cooking and storing food inside the shelter
Enough seating for at least two Sims
At least one garden planter
At least one fun item
Two beds. If your Sim and the new colony member have a suitably high relationship, you may have one double bed, instead.
You cannot add a new colony member to the household until there is a bed for them inside the shelter.
New colony members may be added to the shelter either by inviting existing Sims to move into the household or by having natural-born children within the household.
You cannot invite a Sim to join your colony until your Sim is Good Friends with them.
No new colony member can bring any money with them when they move in. Use the money cheat to remove any funds they bring with them.
Colony Roles
In order for your colony to thrive, you're going to need some organization and structure. As the leader of your colony, you'll be assigning each new member of your colony a vital role. That Sim will dedicate their lives to fulfilling their assigned role for the benefit of the colony. There are lots of things to be done to keep the colony running smoothly and lots of Sims needed to perform those tasks. If everyone works together, the colony will stay strong in the face of this terrible tragedy.
When a new Sim joins the colony, assign them a role from the list below. That Sim must master the skill linked to their role. You cannot change a Sim's role after it's been assigned so think carefully. If a Sim masters a skill for a different role, it won't count towards the challenge. The Sim must master the skill that matches their role.
Sims aren't restricted to only performing duties within their role, but try your best to keep everyone as focused on their role as possible. It helps build their skill faster.
While toddlers and children cannot officially take on a role and perform their role’s duties, they must be prepped to accept their assigned role when they become teens. They must master the toddler and child skill on the list linked to their future role. A toddler or child who does not master their role’s skill before they age up is a challenge fail.
If you started with a pet in the household and therefore cannot fulfill all 8 roles, the pet automatically takes the role of Spy. The pet does not need to do anything special to fulfill this role. If the pet dies before the end of the challenge, you must add a Sim to the colony to become your Spy.
Role List
Leader
Your starting Sim. As the leader of a colony, your Sim is responsible for rallying everyone together and keeping morale high.
Adult Skill: Charisma Child Skill: N/A Toddler Skill: N/A
Farmer
This Sim is responsible for growing and harvesting fresh produce in the underground greenhouse to help keep everyone fed.
Adult Skill: Gardening Child Skill: Mental Toddler Skill: Thinking
Hunter 
The colony needs a source of protein to keep fit and strong. This Sim’s duty is to bring back freshly caught fish to the colony to be prepared, cooked, and eaten.
Adult Skill: Fishing Child Skill: Mental Toddler Skill: Thinking
Carpenter
This Sim’s duties involve building and repairing things around the shelter and keeping all the nuts and gears in tip top shape.
Adult Skill: Handiness Child Skill: Motor Toddler Skill: Movement
Chef
This Sim is responsible for cooking all the fresh produce and fish that the farmer and hunter provides in order to feed the colony.
Adult Skill: Cooking Child Skill: Creativity Toddler Skill: Imagination
Soldier
It’s the soldier’s job to protect the colony from threats and invasions. They must always be on their guard to defend against infected Sims and government agents with unsavoury motives.
Adult Skill: Fitness Child Skill: Motor Toddler Skill: Movement
Scientist
This Sim manages any tech that the shelter has and comes up with ideas for new inventions that can help the colony.
Adult Skill: Logic Child Skill: Mental Toddler Skill: Thinking
Spy
The spy handles covert operations and collects sensitive information to help protect the colony. They listen in on conversations and collect valuable evidence.
Adult Skill: Mischief Child Skill: Social Toddler Skill: Communication
Completing The Challenge
When you have built up a large colony living in harmony in a fully self-sustainable bunker that can accommodate everyone living there, you’ll know your work is done. Rest easy knowing you and your colony will be safe in StrangerVille for many years to come.
To complete the challenge, the following objectives must be met:
You must have a colony of 8 Sims (or 7 Sims and 1 pet)
Each colony member must be teens or older and have the skills linked to their role mastered (including toddler and child skills, if applicable)
Your shelter must have a bed for each member of the colony
Your shelter must have an underground greenhouse with at least three large planter boxes
Your shelter must have indoor bathroom facilities that comply with the challenge’s plumbing limitations
Your shelter must have a listening station for your Spy and Scientist
Your shelter must have a B64 Training Bot for your Soldier
Your shelter must have a means of cooking and storing produce and fish indoors
The perimeter of your lot must be closed off with tall fencing and a gate that is kept locked to everyone but your household
Your shelter must have at least three items purchased from the Curio Shop (excluding bizarre fruit)
Donate (Pretty Please?)
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witchsouled-blog · 5 years
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Mental health PSA while I’m laying in bed so ugly mobile post .
My blog isn’t mental health free , it’s a place where I write with the people that I care about and enjoy writing with , and a place where I feel SAFE enough to voice when I’m hurting. I am respectful enough to tag my mental health struggles with mental health tw . Now yesterday I got a really shitty message , not going over specifics and my last post will be deleted due to personal decisions , but one should not log onto their blog and get a message that only fuels the thoughts they were having originally , nor should anyone have that power over me to be able to make me feel like I should do it either. My blog is my safe space , I blacklist things that upset me , people who I have unfollowed/blocked and they still managed to slip through the cracks and I’m even grown enough to message someone 1x1 about a tag for a specific thing that I cannot handle on the dash. I take precautions because this place is where I go when I need to recover . So my anon is off , anyone who poses a threat to my mental health will be unfollowed and possibly blocked. I’m lucky enough to have gotten my emotions out yesterday when things were rough, a weight has been lifted and praise the lord for those who have stuck by me ( you know who you are ). But yeah I’m here , I’m cautious and I’m not going to apologize for talking to you guys about when I’m struggling. I’m not ashamed of my mental illness , I just wish I had better control of it. Love you all to pieces and thank you for having me.
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Ali & Carly
Ali: [Weds night before her bday] Ali: woman you home Carly: not mine y? Ali: because ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY Ali: and I need to come bearing gifts Carly: now? k then Carly: ill get there before u Ali: you @ one of the lads then? Ali: no rush 'cept I do wanna be the first so like b4 midnight cinders 🎃👠 Carly: i werent born @ 12 tho & u kno that from doing my chart 🔮🌟 Carly: but ur so cute Ali: tru but Ali: i'm excited Ali: can't start the party without guest of honour 7 Carly: aw Carly: i wont take these 15 💊s yet 👼 Carly: we can party together Ali: 🎁? Carly: idk can u call it a 🎁 if u have to give back Ali: Boo 👎 Carly: not what he said when we were done Ali: 🙄 still Ali: not very festive of him Carly: idc its been fun Carly: coulda stayed in w ma & da but its not a retirement party in the works like Ali: for now Ali: but I got better plans than either Carly: yea? Ali: 'course Ali: who am I Ali: who are we Carly: 🐅💙🐇 Carly: i barely knew u on my last bday 😢💔 Ali: it's insane Ali: you're so important and integral to me how did we not get together before then Ali: I'm not the only one with plans tho 🌌💕 Carly: too many lads to swap first ha Carly: i kno my ma has been planning all wk but idk cuz shes learned to be subtle somehow Carly: must b her new man teaching her things Ali: Eskimo sisters for life, baby 😂 Ali: 👀 come thru shaz Ali: sounds promising Carly: 🤞🌌🔮 Ali: not her new man, obvs Carly: hes no cavante tho still only a few yrs older Ali: if I beat you I'll hit her up for the scoop Carly: 🍀 Ali: 😬 Ali: I guess we've got her answer for the age old experience vs stamina Carly: could b where i left her wine drunk in the hot tub still Carly: falls asleep there more than the marital bed Carly: mermaid energy ha Ali: not wine drunk Ali: worse energy than coke rage, I swear Ali: watch out cat lady, protect your children Carly: aw ill look after them Ali: 👼 Ali: I'll take any bday bumps for you 💪 Carly: never liked coke or wine soz ma if thats my 🎁 Carly: still my hero 💙 Ali: those people are the worst Ali: lemme buy something for me and give it to you Ali: no sharon THAT IS NOT 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 SPIRIT 👏 OKAY 👏 Carly: my gma does that every yr! xmas too Carly: so boring unwrapping that bible each time Carly: good rolling paper tho Ali: 😂 Ali: the lord is in you, it's what she wanted Ali: just in your lungs but you know Carly: ha Carly: what r u bringing me boo? Ali: don't you want the surprise babe Carly: idk last time u really surprised me it was w a divorce so u could get ur man Ali: 😥 Carly: 😂 jk u kno i love surprises Ali: just devastated you're calling me predictable for the last, how many months Ali: cut me deep, birthday girl Carly: i dont surprise easy Carly: y the lads like me Carly: dont b sad baby Ali: never Ali: not when there's partying to be done Carly: yay Ali: and a 👸 to celebrate Carly: ur sweet 🍬🍭 Carly: i dont look like a princess rn Carly: no running away Ali: you always do Ali: even when you running from ogres Carly: ur gonna make me look worse when im crying too Ali: meant to save them for the party Ali: but I'll never tell Carly: ha its been a few yrs since a bday tantrum Carly: really had to wait for that bike tho Ali: and #werk baby Ali: you were as adorable then, how your parents didn't spoil you is a mystery to me Carly: ask them if u do get here before me Carly: but before i was medicated i wasnt as 👼 could b the answer Ali: lecture 'em on how wrong they were, more like Carly: ur a bias little 🐱💙 Carly: & u didnt kno me then even if u do remember i grew into my 👂s Ali: 😂 Ali: well I never grew into my 👁s and my 'tudes no better either and you still love me so Ali: deal with it, Walsh 😜 Carly: aw u were the cutest 👶 Carly: & u get cuter every yr Ali: hey, don't spoil my heartfelt message in your card! Ali: 😏 Carly: im sorry Carly: ill have 1 for the road & forget Ali: I think one of the boys just catcalled me without offering to give me a ride in their white van/carriage Ali: see me struggling here lads, is that part of the appeal? probs Carly: which y? ill threaten to uninvite him from the party Carly: 1* Ali: not the kinda bitch to resort to racism 'cos I'm mildly upset or angered but they really be looking the same behind the wheel of a transit, like Ali: think it was one of Ronan's brothers? Ali: and in fairness, never slept with you so whaddya owe me, kind sir Carly: ha Carly: if he could see & be seen @ the wheel then i reckon i kno Carly: & i have slept w him so he will b 💔😢 if he cant celebrate w me Ali: my hero 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: been thru every1 old enough in that fam now ha Carly: gonna have to move like Ali: I wish I could tell you the surprise was a hot new fam Ali: alas Ali: wouldn't fit them on my back, like Carly: 😢💔 Ali: I've let you down Ali: how could I Ali: gonna eat my feelings 🎂 Carly: 🍯🐝 no Carly: never Ali: what's the dresscode for this shindig then Carly: idk not allowed to go w bday suits Carly: my da overruled me Ali: gotta whittle down my knock you dead options Ali: even with those stifling guidelines, tah Mr Walsh, I should manage it Carly: i believe in u baby Ali: 👼👼👼 Carly: im back btw Carly: used my wings mayb Ali: damn Ali: was really hopinh for some 1x1 with your ma Carly: she will scoot over in bed for u Carly: not just me who misses u Ali: awh Ali: can we convince her to give you your present early or nah Ali: I say yeah Carly: me too so 2 votes Carly: my da will b asleep too deep to cast his even if she says no weve outnumbered her Ali: 💪 Ali: I'll put the phone down and run Ali: gimme 5 Carly: k Carly: be careful tho Carly: some of the 💡 r out Ali: 👌 Ali: my middle name Carly: fun is ur middle name Carly: how many do u have? Ali: as many as you want Ali: 😉 Ali: but just the one, actually Carly: hot Carly: u can have 1 of mine then wed both have 2 each Ali: are you actually 👑 Carly: my ma wishes Carly: queen of the site tho Carly: ha Ali: I've not bought her a crown Ali: not soz Carly: its k shes got her prom tiara somewhere Ali: memories 🎶 Carly: am i gonna peak before 18 too? Ali: never Ali: only way is 📈 baby Carly: u make me feel really happy u kno Ali: ☀🌻🍓🍯🐝🐰 Ali: it's mutual boo Carly: im crying Carly: & smiling Carly: its the 💊s ma Ali: it's the 💘 Ali: she gets it Carly: aw Carly: yea shes really 💘 w the lad from the chemist Carly: knocking our 💙 off the top Ali: can't be having that Ali: got all weekend to prove we're 🥇 Carly: til ur bf shows up Ali: nuuh Ali: it's all about you Carly: ur so nice to me Ali: you'll see feel and believe it ✨ Carly: 🔮🌌 Carly: r u gonna stay? Ali: can I? Carly: yea Ali: then yeah Carly: aw ur my 🎁 Ali: I haven't copped out that hard, don't worry Ali: come help me Ali: not very gentlemanly of me but I wanna be with you before we've gotta hear about the prom queen's glory days Carly: k Carly: 💪💙
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thewoodbine · 5 years
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Do you know any quick and effective ways to hex someone without knowing their name? I want something painful that’ll teach him not to fuck with me again.
No. Stop, this really isn't okay or healthy behavior.
⚠ Rant Incoming ⚠
In life we are going to have to deal with people we aren't crazy about and the sooner we can learn the best way to calmly and effectively tolerate their presence the better off we will be. I get that there are exceptions, hell Ive openly told about cursing someone on here. But it's not healthy for anyone to just curse, hex, and jynx your way through life everytime someone is annoying or harassing you and it won't benefit you at all even if it did work.
There are mundane ways to deal with every problem that work for the 99.9% of the population that doesn't practice magic. Exhaust those first. We have talked several times on a 1x1 basis and therefore I know you have openly told me that you haven't approached anyone about this. Until you do that first I can't in good conciousness let you use magic as a catalyst to boost your unhealthy desires on people. You aren't even requesting a way to protect yourself here, you're just targeting another person.
I really really encourage you to actually use mundane resources and seek help. There is absolutely no shame in therapy or even watching self help videos or reading a book on it but you have to reach out. To a professional. I get it. I've dealt with a lot of the same issues as you. But your behavior is manipulative when you message me and then when I don't give you what you want or I'm not super nice and sunny you start acting really meak and apologetic so I'll feel bad and keep talking to you. Because as soon as I say its okay, you perk immedately back up and start the cycle again. This behavior is manipulative and falls into the category of emotional abuse. I have struggle with anxiety, attachment, insecurity, and control issues and I get that you dont mean any harm or ill will, but you need to recognize that your behavior isnt healthy and thats okay, we all have problems, but instead of feeling just bad about it- its time to do something about it. Create change within you, and for you. Because what you're doing right now makes you miserable, and isn't healthy for the people around you.
Sorry for absolutely going off, but this has been a long term reoccurring issue and I've tried addressing it in politer ways which have been ignored due to aforementioned cycle.
~
I love you guys, and I'm here to help whenever you need me and as much as you need me.
But know, there are some things just drilled into my head and red flags that pop up from my brief knowledge & training in counciling and mental health. And when I say that something is beyond my expertise and that you should seek outside help on the matter. That means I have reason for concern enough that I think it might be worth a professional or experienced opinion, but I also don't know enough to comfortably advise you on the subject. I'm not telling you to go to therapy because its super easy or I want to be mean, I'm telling you because I've spotted red flags that sometimes indicate an individual would benefit from therapeutic efforts. Even if you can't afford a therapist there are other things we can do and we can talk about that- but not if you ignore me anyway. The most I can do is be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a cheerleader, a friend, a mentor, a divinator, or an advisor on your magical practice. There are some things beyond me and just because I've recieved instructions on how to identify possible issues, I am not qualified to treat them and my suspicions are absolutely subject to being wrong anyway. I can point you in a direction I personally think might benefit you or lead to some answers, I cant walk you there- this goes for anything and everything I do on this blog.
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~ ☀
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ariallegrorp · 8 months
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Hello friends!! I'm Ari (20F) and I'm looking for 18+ writers for a 1x1 Discord plot for The Witcher (Netflix)! I don't have much in the way of actual plots in mind (yet), but I'm glad to brainstorm! Also, I'm glad to double! My one warning is that I have only seen Season 1, but plan to watch Season 2 soon and eventually get to Season 3! Hopefully that doesn't get in the way of us roleplaying, I'm itching to write in this world! Here are my pairing ideas for my end, the character I'd like to play is in blue!
🎶 -Jaskier + Geralt
🌹 -Original Character + Jaskier (Geralt or Yennefer is also acceptable!)
What I WILL Do:
-Romantic Plots (CC x CC or OC x CC)
-Platonic/Familial Plots
-Fluff, Angst, and Whump
-Semi-literate to advanced literate writing- I'll match you!
-Canon Universe or AUs!
-NSFW (I'm somewhat iffy on this, but we can discuss!)
What I WON'T Do:
-One-liners. I prefer quality over quantity, but I need to be able to work with replies, and one line isn't enough for me!
-RP without Tupperbox. If you don't know how to use it, that's okay! I'll gladly teach you, it just keeps things organized!
PLEASE NOTE:
I have chronic pain/illness and it often can get in the way of replies some days, and I can be silent without meaning to. Don't take this as me ghosting you! I just have the worst memory known to man. Feel free to ping me as a reminder, it's a big help! I will always try to keep you updated. No matter what though, I LOVE talking OOC so even if I'm not feeling up to RP in the moment, feel free to talk to me about headcanons, the RP or what's happening in your life! I love to talk!
Interact with this post or DM me and I'll get back to you ASAP!! :)
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hmmm’st....Another group of replies since I’m trying to keep up with my inbox better this year !! (I know #3 is missing, I accidentally mislabeled them and skipped straight to 4 and don’t feel like re-editing the photos lol ) 
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1. “What would you recommend doing with a 1x1 ft square of tapestry-eqsue fabric ?” (question typed out in a shortened way/some words left out)
Hmm, I’m not really sure!  I always have problems with tiny squares of fabrics since I often like.. am in love with the colors or texture or pattern or etc, but at the same time it’s too small to actually serve as a really substantial part of the outfit lol, so I usually just use them in small ways for accents? Squares are really good for making collars out of, since you can just cut a hole in the middle and put your head through it and it’s done lol, but you can also tuck them into shirt collars or belts so they hang out a little and just serve as a pop of color or something. If you don’t mind cutting it, you could also turn it into little strips or change the shape, make it into a small pocket/bag, wrap pieces around the arm or tie it around boots as decor, tie the cut up buts together to make it into a longer piece of fabric then use that as a belt or sash or headband, etc. Idk, I have trouble with small fabric bits as well, but maybe some of these ideas help!!
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(other answers under read more so it doesn’t get long)
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(note: sorry to everyone who's questions I had to shorten when re-typing them here, I hope I abbreviated them okay and didn't leave out anything you saw as very important! The full message is still shown in the images above and I just wanted to save myself a little time on the typing aaa!) 
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2. “Sorry this is random,  but you seem like a very nice and thoughtful person. Hope you have a happy new year”
Thank you!! I always try to include one or two of these nice ones in here just to continue to show appreciation for people who send me kind things! Even if I don’t respond to all of them (since I feel really awkward just like.. publicly responding to a ton of compliments lol), still know that I really appreciate it! I hope you also have a great year, anon! 
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3. accidental mislabeling error means free space for cat image
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4. “will you do more videos? vlogs, tutorials, explaining your art, games, podcast, anything? sorry if it's weird to say, but I just really enjoy listening to you speak!” (question typed in a shortened way/not fully quoted) 
Possibly? I just can’t think of many things to make that would work well for me?
vlogs:  I don’t like to do vlogs anymore because of my mental illness and becoming more anxious about showing my face or daily life in public. Though I do enjoy aspects of the “lifestyle blogging” sort of content, like I think it would be cool to be able to make easy videos where all I do is sit down and talk about my hair or something for 20 minutes lol, or etc., but I guess as I get less comfortable with showing myself, I tend to stray away from stuff like that?
(this is also why I’ve been shifting more towards like... costumes, art, world-building, making games, etc. as opposed to outfits/personal style/personal life type content, since I feel much more comfortable being framed as more of a ‘detached and faceless creator that shows some personality but is still mostly obscured’ than ‘open personality that posts selfies and talks about their life extensively’ or etc. Obviously I still post personal stuff like questions and thoughts/opinions and cat images and etc., but less so.. like I don’t even remember the last time I posted an actual selfie where my face wasn’t obscured by costume makeup or something lol..) 
I would absolutely still do stuff like “room tour” or “what’s in my bag” videos, or like a single video showing my usual daily routine or something,,  if those were ever requested of me/interest was shown in them..  I’m okay with small one time “lifestyle” genre sort of content. But anything too invasive or long term (daily/frequent vlogging, or like “story time” videos) I think I would get uncomfortable with lol. 
tutorials: I’m not really sure what I would do tutorials on? If you want me to make a tutorial about something, feel free to let me know something in specific! My main problem is that I don’t feel like there’s anything unique that I do that there aren’t  already 100 other tutorials for, so I’m never sure what I should make those about. I get occasional asks with people saying “do a makeup tutorial” or “do a sculpting tutorial” or something, but they don’t ever say WHAT SPECIFIC makeup or what SPECIFIC thing they’d like to see me explain, so then I’m still left alone with vagueness and unsure what to do lol! 
art explanation: Same kind of goes for the “explaining your art” thing like, what art? Explaining what specifically about it? You mean worldbuilding? Or sculptures? etc.??  I’m actually always happy to make videos for anything people want to see (since I enjoy the process of making them, usually), but I just am never sure exactly what to do. But if I had specific prompts I would be glad to explain something though! Videos are fun, I just never know what to make them about lol
games: I would absolutely love to do let’s plays/game videos or something (I assume this is what you meant by just saying ”games”??)  since I enjoy games, and my whole thing about not being able to relax (I feel guilty about playing games (or any other leisure activity) unless it’s working towards something, I have to have a way to justify the activity being productive, which is why I rarely ever play games despite liking them a lot lol..but if I made videos or etc. it would feel slightly more worth the time/effort).. But seeing as I’m fairly lower income I really don’t have much money to buy games, and I don’t have a very good computer situation lol. I would need to have money to fix my current computer, and a few other things, etc. etc. 
 Idk, it’s something I think about occasionally and that would be extremely convenient  for me and my current situation (in terms of having something simultaneously low effort/relaxing/ suitable to my needs/mental illness/physical issues, but also that feels productive at the same time), but it’s also a very weird genre of stuff (idk if I’d feel comfortable being anywhere near the broader “games” community ghggb), and I would need a little money first lol.. 
podcast: I would never start my own podcast because I have no idea what I would even have a podcast about, and I also don’t have any friends who do that sort of thing (podcasts usually have multiple people, right??). I would do one with someone else or something like if a close friend asked me I guess, but idk... I couldn’t ever see that being something I start by myself?? Especially since I don’t know anything about them or what equipment or programs are required to edit together the audio, I’ve only listened to a few of them every once in a while, etc. am not really tech savvy in the field of like. how podcasts work ggh. So that’s probably the most unlikely one out of everything you listed, sorry!! 
As for other stuff, I’ve thought of answering questions in audio form instead (so rather than writing them out here, I’d just make a video (though not with visuals, since I don’t like filming myself talking..maybe I could put footage of cats over the audio though lol) of me going through my inbox and answering things, since I feel like typing takes me so much longer than speaking, and sometimes it’d be more convenient). 
I’ve also thought about just like.. talking about world-building stuff, like.. rather than writing out a post, I can just ramble about things or something,, but I’m afraid I’d get too disorganized, so it’d probably only be good for answering questions about specific things (which I don’t really get questions about worldbuilding stuff that I could have enough to sit down and answer in a video lol.. I think I’ve gotten two so far?? which I already answered in text posts).
So idk, maybe those could also be ways to hear more of me talking? If I used audio more often to answer things or discuss things (like answering asks that way) rather than typing.. which would save me time anyway lol.. But I just feel unsure about it since it seems.. weird.. like.. some people might just want a quick answer to their ask and not have to skip to a certain time stamp of a video and hear me talk about it for 5 minutes lol.. 
But anyway, yeah, feel free to offer specific suggestions or support towards anything mentioned if it’s really something you want to see! I really appreciate that you even watched the silly little vocabulary video and especially that you actually enjoy my rambling lol (I sometimes feel annoying when I speak), and I hope I can make something sometime!! I just have trouble deciding on what content I should be making or etc., but maybe I’ll try to find a few more things I can do where I’m actually talking! 
(also thanks for hoping I feel okay! I am a little bit better, but still sick lol)
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5. “Hope you feel better (emoji heart that I can't type on a computer)”
Thank you!! It’s been really stink to be sick the entire first month of the year lol, but hopefully I’ll be better like.. by mid February at least!!! With how goal focused I am, it’s been like... utterly evil to not be able to start the year off well and get all of my to-do list stuff done.. I’m finally at a point where I’m finishing a few things again (like this post, and a few of the worldbuilding things from a week ago or etc), but I still can’t stop myself being.... deeply annoyed, by my loss of time and how much I feel like I should have gotten done already aaaAAA.
Especially I REALLY WANT TO DO another costume soon!!!! I have some laid out in my closet that I hope to do, but I keep waiting until I’m feeling better, since I’m afraid of having some random sickness related health problem in the middle of getting dressed and then having to like.. show up to the doctor while I have elf ears on and half a horn on my head or something ghghggh... 
But anyway, I can’t do anything to change it now, so the best I can manage is just to kind of.. ignore my losses and move forward and try to be as productive as possible from now on! I really hope I can still get some of my main goals (like the game, costumes, music, worldbulding stuff) finished in reasonable time, even if I basically lost the entire month of January into a void lol. Sometimes you just lose an entire month of time... life is just Like That and you have to move on and make the most out of it I guess! 
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6. Would you ever like consider selling your outfits???? I have an extended non violent larping thing coming up and i really love your outfits!
I might actually! I mentioned it before I think like, months ago, but i have a LOT of clothes I really want to get rid of, it’s just that it’s SO daunting. I’ve sold clothes before and it took hours and hours of effort, and you have to constantly keep up with it and track sales, and on top of that I really underestimated shipping prices (especially making the mistake of shipping internationally on one of them I think), and I ended up making no profit and actually losing $70 just from paying people’s shipping that I didn’t charge them for (which for me and my financial situation is.. A LOT.. like.. I do NOT have that kind of spare money ghghh).
This time I want to be careful about it and also I’ll have to charge a lot more (which of course, I feel guilty about since I have Bigg Money Anxiety and wish everything was free for everyone all the time gghb), and also it’s hard for me to find the time and energy to take literally hundreds of photos of hundreds of items and then list them somewhere and etc. etc. etc. 
BUT to cut down on that workload I’ve thought about actually just grouping them into outfits or like, groups of clothing that all match each other or etc. and selling them all together (so that I don’t have to photograph and list every individual item), and additionally that way I can maybe just do one batch at a time like.. maybe sell two of them a week or something, instead of all at once. 
Maybe just buying a certain size of box/envelope thing and stuffing whatever I can into it and selling them all for a set price like $40 a piece or something. Which to me sounds extremely expensive I guess since I’m someone who would never have $40 to just spend on clothing lol, but I really kind of can’t go much lower than that if I want to allot for shipping and not make the same mistakes again as last time (and definitely not allow people to buy internationally unless they pay me like.. $50 extra or something, which would be ridiculous lol). 
But anyway, especially since I have a few things I could really use money for (paying my guardians back for recent medical copays, and for my cat’s vet visit a few months ago, and also I have to fix the battery on my computer or buy a new one, etc.), I’ve thought about trying to do that soon!  Maybe sometime in the next month I can start listing some themed clothing groups/outfits/etc. and sell them at a slower better pace for me (like one group a week or so). I’ll definitely post about it if I do!
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7. (this one will have to be shortened a lot since it's so long, but I'll try to just type the main parts I'm replying to)  “Are you making/would you consider making a story with your fantasy worlds? Like a book or a zine or youtube videos where you roleplay as the characters and make them talk to the viewer or each other? If you don't want to create plot, you could just do characters seeking to educate humans bout their cultures or something.  I used to scroll past your posts since I'm more visual when it comes to fantasy, before realizing how interesting they are and I feel like your ideas need more playing out and exposure. ALSO, how do you feel about collaborating with other people on creating art? Or just being art pals and sharing ideas/plans/etc.? I just read your FAQ about collaborations so I understand the terms and my offer to be art friends still stands!” 
-- About whether I’ll make more things with my world:  
Thanks so much for the very nice message!! Worldbuilding stuff is one of the most fun creative activities for me to do, so I always appreciate it when people discuss it with me and etc. (not that I don’t also appreciate compliments on sculptures and costumes and etc., those are great too! But I guess because world stuff is something I’m so much more personally invested in yet also never get to talk about lol, anytime anyone sends me anything related to characters or worlds or etc my brain is instantly like !!!!!!!!!!!!! O v O !!!!!!!!!!!  ghgh). 
I am actually making a game like I may have mentioned a few times, which though it’s more character focused and doesn’t really have a plot/broader story (it’s basically like a dating sim except without romance/dating, but it has similar mechanics in the sense that the main goal is to get to know characters in the world and do tasks for them and etc.), it will include a good bit of things that have do with my world, seeing as it like... takes place there. 
And since each of the characters have their own backgrounds and etc., they’ll of course speak about various world-related topics. Like for example, one of the shop-owners you can work for is an elf from outside of the elven alliance, and another shop the player can work at is owned by a set of twins who were formerly part of a royal family within the alliance, so those characters (when getting to know them and doing quests for them and etc) will of course have different perspectives on the world and talk about some of the stuff that’s been brought up in my worldbuilding posts, just obviously in a more personal/casual way, since it’s dialogue rather than me writing exposition infodump posts. 
Like for example, the fact that alliance elves and non-alliance elves often have very different takes on the main elven religion, meaning if it comes up in conversation, both shopkeepers would give different dialogue relating to it, etc. Which since every character has their own unique situation and heritage and etc. (the game is set on a popular market street in a large global city, so here it actually makes sense for a bunch of different species to all be in the same place and etc.), I think could maybe expose players to a lot of the central worldbuilding concepts, depending on which shopkeeper they go with. 
Obviously characters aren’t going to just be doing unnatural exposition dumps about the extensive background of the world or something lol, but even just naturally and playing through a character with neutral favor (meaning not unlocking any special positive/negative dialogue options/etc), you’d still be able to get at least a few tidbits about the world. (especially since some character’s conflicts stem from cultural/worldbuilding factors, so it’s not unnatural for them to bring it up if that’s like.. something that seriously impacts their life lol.). It probably wont expose people to Advanced Lore like the time gaps or obscure types of magic or etc (well.. depending on which shopkeepers you talk to hbhbb), but it could help with some of what you’re talking about.. In the sense of it being a more accessible visual medium that, while not the MAIN focus of the game, does end up covering some of the world background information through natural dialogue. 
(always feel free to send an ask or something if you have any questions about the game, I never talk about it but every time I start to my brain unlocks and I have to stop myself from like.. saying literally every single thing about it ghgbhj)
Other than that though, I’m not currently working on anything that actually involves my world. I totally get what you mean though, and I’ve often tried thinking of ways to make it more accessible and etc (shorter posts, more clear topics, more visual elements, etc.), but it can be hard for me to work within those constraints when it already takes so much time for me to put those things together. It’s like I have so much planned out in my head, I kind of just want to get it out there however I can, since if I spend too much time deliberating about it or etc. it will become an endless task lol..
Ghhbh I actually have an extensive background in acting out characters, I’ve pretty much walked around talking to myself in different voices and etc. for my whole life and am used to like acting multiple characters at once and improvisational storytelling things (this is still what I spend a lot of my time doing lol.. I just.. walk around my house having conversations out loud pretending to be random people.. Especially when doing chores, like washing dishes or etc. is more fun if you pretend you’re a group of travelers working in a weird little elven restaurant bickering with each other the whole time hgh), but idk if that would be something I would do for videos. I feel weird about being on camera personally, even if I were in costume. But it is a really good suggestion since that is something which would be much much easier to produce than like, doing a full animation or writing a book or something lol. 
I have thought of reading my worldbuilding posts aloud/ doing audio versions of them, so that people could just listen to them instead of reading them (there would be no visuals like.. just black screen or something with audio of me reading it), but the way I write is like.. hard to read back? I love to read out loud (one of my favorite activities to entertain myself is to actually find random text I’ve never seen before and see how well I can sightread it. Especially random medical articles with a lot of words I don’t know in them lol, it’s fun to just try to go through a new text fast in a convincing narrator voice or something, scrambling to mess up as little as possible), but I find that I have to modify my writing in order to read it that way (I’ve attempted to make a worldbuilding audio thing before, this is how I know this lol), so it’s almost like I’m writing a whole second version of the post, which makes it take longer?
I could modify my writing style (less having things in parentheses and etc., side sentences that occur in the middle of main sentences and break reading flow, etc.. Like this one lol), and have thought about writing in a way that would be easier for me to read back, but it’s just a whole thing I’d have to plan. I’ve definitely considered it though, and could pursue that idea further if people were interested or something! 
I’ve also thought of writing dialogue out between characters as a method of worldbuilding (not a story, but more like a script) since I think that’s a good natural way to convey things or give snapshots of moments in history or etc... but like.. That would just be more text so it wouldn’t really solve the problem lol. I could do audio reading them I guess, but since I’m more used to improv stuff, idk how I would do trying to read actual already written lines, even if I was the one who wrote them, it would definitely be something I’ve never done before lol!  
I also just think doing smaller things could help, and anything interactive. Like shorter posts, especially with more visuals in them, typically get seen more, and then stuff like me making a game or other condensed things.. I’ve thought of making like.. a character selection screen, not an actual game but kind of like a dress up game where you get to choose your background from the different species in my world and then dress them up a little or etc. but that would be a LOT more work than it seems probably lol.
A lot of social media is just a combination of luck/the right connections, quantity, and consistency especially. I’m sure if I could do a short post a day or a drawing of a character every other day or something and reblog them a lot, then more people would see the other things I do as well and etc., but it’s just... very difficult for me to operate that way since it’s so inherently antithetical to my personality and how I work lol (I tend to be more of a.. .. ‘stay isolated working on things and barely post anything for 3 months then post 10 things at once out of nowhere before going inactive again’ type of person ghbh.. which is like.. horrible from a Social Media Strategy standpoint). 
(Oh also, I still have no idea what a zine is even though I've seen them around and looked at a few and even looked up the definition of one to try to understand them hhghgg.. I’m still not exactly sure like.. what qualifies as one or how I would make a world-related one lol.. so this is why I didn’t really go into much detail on that specific suggestion of yours since.. I’m Uneducated Fool )  
But anyway, Idk if I could do acting videos, but I could do audio reading of posts or other things, and I am at least in the middle of working on a game which heavily involves elements of the world, so maybe that counts for what you’re talking about! 
Though personally it really doesn’t matter much to me if many people see my world stuff or etc., since really all the fun is just that I sincerely enjoy coming up with ideas and creating worlds and etc., even if I’m not doing anything major with it ( making a book series or comics or etc. I don’t feel like worldbuilding has to be working toward another project, and like that it can just be done for it’s own sake as a hobby), I still truly appreciate the sentiment and that you enjoy the world enough to give suggestions and etc. for stuff like that!! I’m going to keep at it however I can just because I love doing it so much, no matter if anyone really pays attention, but it is always unexpected and very meaningful when people like you engage with the content, so thank you for that! I’ll continue trying to make things and be productive and maybe use a few new ideas here and there just so it’s easier for people like you who tend to be more visual with things. I want to avoid leaving people out, and try to make a variety of things that can cater to more visual people as well or etc.! 
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-- About possibly being art friends or working together: 
Well you said you read the collaboration FAQ, so I’m under the impression that I no longer need to answer that part of your question lol, thus I’ll just continue on with an answer assuming you know all of that information! 
I’m always up for it I guess! I’m not sure about collaborating since I know nothing about you, and also don’t know where you live (remember I mention that it’d be much easier to collaborate with people I live closer to so we don’t have to like.. skype or some other weird digital method of communication in order to talk about ideas. Just since that sort of thing can get so lengthy, especially if it’s an actual project being taken seriously, I’d rather speak to someone in person and be able to work on it alongside each other better). If I got to know you for a few months and thought I could trust you/know we have a similar vision/don’t clash creatively or personality wise,  AND we also lived close enough to meet at least occasionally, then yeah! project collaborations could work. If otherwise, then unfortunately it might not work in that regard. : U
(OH also if we’re a similar age?? I forget that people on the internet can be way younger than me.. I have nothing against younger people (very against the weird overly-simplified generational stereotyping ggh), but I would just feel kind of weird being an adult (early 20s) working with a minor who’s like 13 years old or something. I would be happy to talk about things from time to time and help with ideas or something, but actual like.. long term collaborative projects like writing a book together or creating and selling a game or something may be strange just due to us being at such totally different stages in our lives and etc. So, to collaborate on projects or even just communicate frequently about them or etc. I would also prefer we’re a similar age range (you’re somewhere from like 19 - 28 yrs old or close to that) ghhbh) 
As for just talking about art though, that could work fine probably! Since it would just be casual discussion and less serious than full on project collabs or etc., you wouldn’t need to live near me or etc. Though of course I would still need to know about you first (especially politics and stuff like.. I don’t want to get 50 long conversations in with someone only to find out they hate trans people or are a huge racist or etc. I always like to establish that ahead of time or at least have some idea of a person’s leanings.), and understand your personality a little.
 I am pretty socially anxious and due to health problems and stuff can sometimes be bad at replying ( I know some people expect instant responses, whereas I usually reply in a day or two ( depending on how long the message is)), but I also don’t currently have any friends to talk about world-building stuff with really or who care much about that sort of thing, so I’m always open to having conversations about stuff like that! 
Especially if it’s a low-pressure causal sort of thing in the sense of like “hey let’s just see if we get along well conversationally and if we don’t then no hard feelings”, etc. One of the main reasons I’m often afraid to talk to strangers is that if we end up NOT getting along and I decide that I want to stop talking or etc., I’m afraid they’ll get mad at me or lash out at me or something. I prefer it when the expectation is set ahead of time like “we can both walk away at any time and should feel free to openly communicate how we feel about this conversation at any time. if we wouldn’t make good art friends or have trouble communicating then that’s fine and we just respectfully stop talking”.  Which sounds like.. very common sense but.. I've talked to a few people in the past who struggled with communication and would be passive aggressively mean to you about it or something like that instead of just being open about them not feeling like talking anymore or etc., which is always a confusing situation to be in and I’d like to avoid it! 
Anyway though! I can’t promise anything since I don’t know you and am cautious about new people (I don’t want to be like “OH sure we’ll be best friends!!” before I even know you and set up false expectations), but I’m definitely at least open to talking,  especially about world-building stuff, if we’re compatible and respectful to each other and etc. And am also open to collaborations, under the right circumstances like what I’ve mentioned. Thank you  again for the very nice set of asks!!!! I hope you have a great day, anon~ 
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And that’s all for the reply post. Thanks to everyone who sent in asks about stuff!!
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saigeboredeaux-blog · 5 years
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IN GENERAL: She’s an illegal street race driver.
TW: mentions of chronic illness.
IN DETAIL: It started as an act of rebellion. A big ol’ ‘fuck you’ to the restrictions given to her--despite being very well-meaning, and for her own health. She was young and reckless, much more reckless than she’d ever been before--both past and present. Parties and getting high off of her ass was fun, sure, but she wanted the same feeling whilst sober as day. Even as her life came to a near-end and she crawled back into her former self, then fortified--the temptation, the urge, gnawed at her. Demanded to be fed, felt, acted upon. It was far too easy for her to succumb to the late night racing, the thrill of going far and beyond--knowing that one wrong move could result in something deadly. She had always prided herself on her control--her need for it, years and years of perfecting containment. It was more than enough to reassure herself that she could do it. And without losing, too. Almost easily, in fact. Driving had always been a comfort of hers: a variable that she was in control of. Power in her very own hands. Playing God from behind the wheel--thankfully, neutral at worst.
It doesn’t sound too horribly awful at first. It’s dangerous and frankly, selfish, sure, but what made her want to keep it under such lock and key? It’s not extreme, plenty do it, ‘cause otherwise she wouldn’t have had any opponents.
TW: seizures, epilepsy, lupus.
Naeva is ill. A few measly cigarettes and she’s born with a cogential brain defect. The doctors tell them it could become apparent now, or in adulthood, or never at all. The first symptom, a seizure, first showed itself when she was only three. Naeva theorizes that the head pain had always been there. This...was manageable for the wealthy family. What made it so much harder were the things that came later. Not related to her brain defect, came asthma and anemia--other, daily struggles. Medication and pricey specialists handled it just fine. It was the lupus that caught them all off-guard and introduced far many more restrictions. As mild as it is, the fact that it can worsen, despite the treatments? The fact that Naeva is getting behind the wheel and racing -- despite the daily medications she takes like clockwork, never faltering, never failing -- it’s dangerous. No matter how in control Naeva thinks she is.
DISCLAIMER: I just want to emphasize the fact that her illness will NOT be revealed on the gossip blog!! If it comes to light, it’ll be through 1x1 interactions and on their own accord with individuals. Naeva doesn’t consider herself a victim, or view herself negatively because of them. They’re there and she’s dealing with it. It is so so so important to me that I do this accurately, as I’ve mentioned in my intro. If I ever portray it in a manner that is inaccurate, or offensive--please bring it to my attention asap. The rest of this task will be in reference to her STREET RACING only.
DOES ANYONE ELSE KNOW THIS SECRET?: No--even during races she keeps a helmet on that practically covers her features. 
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOUR CHARACTER HAS TO HIDE?: she does keep her chronic illness unknown, as frankly: it’s nobody’s business and the thought of somebody pitying her because of her life ?? It would hurt her very being, t b h. Recently, it’d been revealed to her that there is a very good chance that she’ll develop early on-set Alzheimer’s, a condition she shares with her paternal aunt. Lastly: she still sleeps with a night light. :/ She’s not even afraid of the dark! It’s just...comforting. It’s nice. Night lights are nice.
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rattsietottsie · 3 years
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My truama has made me the worst girlfriend and lover.
I grew up with betrayal after betrayal.
Always unwanted.
An annoying fat weirdo.
I was subjected to all kinds of psychological abuse such as manipulating family members against eachother, calling me every name under the sun, making me more and more self concious and.. so I isolated myself.
I stayed in my room as much as possible.
In addition to what my mother did, my father would try his damnest to break me down. Day after day.
Everyone around seemed to want nothing more than to strike fear in my heart and push me around..
The physical abuse... most of it I can't remember. My mom beat the shit out of us. I remember standing in the corner for hours while she watched HGTV.
I still can't stand that channel.
She even made me kneel on rice.
My most vivid childhood memory is of my mom choking my older sister and me trying to pull her of by her hair. Both yelled at me to get away, mom with rage and my sister through tears.
My stepmom also psychologically tortured me. Made me feel guilty and made fun of me for crying when they said the meanest shit to me. I couldn't even branch out and make friends because she wanted ALL of the info on anyone I wanted to hang out with and.. I decided it was better to be alone. She publically humiliated me..
And worst of all, my dad tried to get in my pants three times and none of them believed me. 'Im not so sure you didn't just mis inturpret'
HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO MISINTURPRET THIS:
I was in the basement. I was never comfortable being there but... Even underage if I hung out with them, I could smoke and drink.
I was just about out of it and he walked over and sat himself right next to me. Started feeling my thighs and trying to rub me through my pants.
I finally got the guts to stand up and run off when he tried to push his hand in my underwear.
I hate this world so much sometimes. I'm sick of being trampled over.. but I'm powerless. Can't even hold a job. My anxiety gets me every time. I do my best. I break down. I do my best. I break down.
Nothings ever okay.
And.. now.. I've met a nice guy.. and.. all he wants to do is enjoy life but I can do nothing but bring him down with my trust and abandonment issues.
Often when I break down, I can't think past how bad it hurts. Physically. And it's so hard to pull out of.. I beg him for support. "Please make sure I can contact you if it gets too bad"
He just wants to live his life and I struggle so much when he's away.
He has such a basic good life.. I don't think I belong. He has a nice group of friends ill never want to see or be apart of.. I'm just too anxious. People have been talking behind my back for so long.. That's why.. I really prefer 1x1 friendships. Full attention on eachother..
Only.. often.. I don't want friends. I'm too depressed. I just want to curl up with him and he just wants to play video games and fake christian to go on 'retreats' paid for by his friends rich aunt.
Its so hard every time he goes. My stress climbs quickly feeling like he's abandoned me even if logically after a year I shoukd think he'll stay.
Occasionally.. ill go on a tangent. I.. don't believe anything I say and I have little control of the rush in my head of terrible thoughts and.. he doesn't deserve it. He shouldn't put up with me.
"I'm better off alone."
A bold faced lie I tell him when my flight reaponse kicks in. The truth is... I need to be cared for. I can not get myself through all this alone. Some days I'm just so ready to dïe.
I need to hold out... I need to try harder. He's promised me the moon and the sun and I can't deny he wants to.. I can't. My anxiety can.
I get so cold sometimes. I can't feel his warmth. He tries and he tries. Just.. to start over with me again the next day. Nothings sticking in my head. All I can think is.. everyone in my life is going to hurt and leave me..
And.. that leads to me pushing people away. Intentional or not. I keep telling him to break up with me. Just go if he can't be there for me.. and I know that's not right.. i love him. He shows so much love and yet my heart is still walled in.
I have a feeling.. even if.. he gives me all the love and care in the world.. I'll never really be okay. I've been scarred by everyone around me.
I've tried so hard to get some help or care over the years.. even told a teacher what was going on. Nothing came of it.
A girl I didn't know at school in 8th grade (fuck 8th graders) told me, 'why dont you go home and get mølested some more'
I've just been so needlessly hurt that.. I can't imagine it'll ever change.
I'll keep trying till.. either my will or my body gives out.
And.. I.. really hope.. he won't get fed up. He really is trying.. and I'm just.. good for nothing.
I don't deserve anything.
Not a single thing.
Not the clothes on my back.
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ariadnc · 6 years
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a rant
First of all let me write a disclaimer that this is not for any of my current partners or anyone I know/am following that I’ve already talked to at all. And if there’s anything someone doesn’t understand just send me a quick message and ask me about it.
idk how I could possibly phrase this nicely because I’m so pissed but i’m gonna try
I don’t know where people get off thinking they’re so important that people have to chase and track you down for your ship with them. No one on this website is more important than anybody else, especially in the rpc.
When you join a group or agree on a 1x1 with somebody, you’re telling them that you’re willing to dedicate time and attention to what you’re trying to write. You promise to send them a blog link or write a starter or something and start writing. It’s kind of like signing a contract. If you know you’re going to be busy (you’ve just started a job, you’re about to start school, your family is going through a rough patch, you’re not well mentally/physically/emotionally) the first thing you need to do is stop and ask yourself if you can agree to start a new plot or join a group. Ask yourself if you’re going to be able to give it the time and attention it deserves. If you can’t do that, don’t agree to start it. Everyone has those tough times, the right thing to do is take time for yourself and make sure you can handle it. 
If you still want to join the group/start the 1x1 anyway, the second thing you should do is tell your partner as much as you can about your situation. Tell them, “Hey, I’m just about to start school/I got a new job/I’ve been having a tough time emotionally/mentally/physically and it’s going to take me some time to get off my feet.” Communication is key. Set your standards/boundaries with your partner so they know right off the bat. Tell them, “hey, I’m a slow rper. I’m still interested, but it might take me a while.” If your partner is okay with that, you’re golden.
If you’re not interested anymore, the adult and mature thing to do is to message your partner about it. Tell them straight up you’ve lost muse or you don’t have any time to write with them anymore. Guarantee your partner will understand (because no one can force you to do something you don’t want to, and your personal life always comes first before rp). There’s nothing wrong with losing muse or not having enough time, it happens to everybody.
What you should NOT do is not tell your partner anything and keep them waiting for a reply or a blog that’s never going to come. You are wasting someone’s time and attention. You ain’t shit if you’re the type of person that ignores messages when your partner asks if you’re still interested in them or not. You’re even less shit if you take the coward’s way out and straight up delete on them. You’re making someone else feel unimportant, you’re making them waste their time to track you down, when they could be giving that time to someone else who will clearly make better use of it.
Stop wasting people’s time and ignoring them when they reach out. How can you not feel shitty making someone wait 40+ days for something you’re never going to send them?? how can you go about your life knowing you’re wasting someone’s time so drastically like this??? And once again this is not for people who actually do the right thing and make hiatus notices or message their partners about their writing/plotting activity. This is for the people that would rather be silent and wait or just delete on someone. I’m sitting here waiting 77 days only to find that someone deleted on me. 77 fucking days. I’ve waited 100+ days. I’ve waited for months and months and been so anxious and stressed over plots i’ve loved too much to let go, but ultimately had to because my partner clearly didn’t care enough. I’ve waited months for plots I’ve had to drop because my partner didn’t care, then tried and gave them one more chance only for them to inevitably fail me yet again. it’s f*cking wild to me that this is the norm. It takes no time at all to type out:
“Hey, I’m really sorry but I’m going to have to drop our plot, I’ve lost muse/i’m too busy to continue.”
And if you can’t fucking type it, COPY AND PASTE IT FROM THIS POST BECAUSE SOME OF YOU ARE CLEARLY STILL STRUGGLING.
If you have anxiety or any mental illness and you freeze up when talking to someone, it’s okay! People are patient, most of the time. A lot of us are in the same boat. Type the message and send it to a friend that can help you out. Go to an rph you know well or someone in the community that won’t mind. Communicate, and take responsibility for your actions. 
With that off my chest I’ve got a new rule. I’m waiting 20 days max for a hiatus message or anything at all that explains if someone’s reply/blog is going to take a little longer to come. If that doesn’t come, I’m deleting all our shit and blocking you, no matter who you are
in 2018 y’all are gonna stop wasting my time, even if i have to be a bitch about it
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