#im genuinely so nervous to post

[huggieshalo]

You're My Sunlight on a Rainy Day

G | 1.2k | @huggieshalo

When the duo planned their college break trip, they debated between Singapore and Thailand for a long while. That was until Harry came across an advertisement for this cat cafe, "Purrfect Treats" located in Bangkok.

OR a fun twist on a coffee shop au featuring many cats and giggles.

Written for @disgruntledkittenface as part of the @secretlarryvalentine exchange.

Moodboard created by me!

#hlupdate #hlcreators #hlsource #tracksintheam #1dficvillage #1d-library #my fic #fic post #im genuinely so nervous to post #i really really hope u like it <3

[introspectivememories]

too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.

#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit #about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels #like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they #broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane. #im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them #and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong #i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma #if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more #ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month #but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories #so make of that what you will #and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them #i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them #anyway yeah #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes

[spearxwind]

IT'S FINALLY DONE! :D Here's an 8 page comic of one of the very very beginning scenes of The Hollowridge Disaster: the moment Knife and Adri meet Dianne.

Having done this comic means a lot to me for a myriad of reasons, but the main ones are that I really wanted to get better at paneling and do more interesting texture work. And, this is also both a homage to my older HR comics, and my (successful!) attempt at getting back into making comics for this story, so it truly feels like I'm in my prime with it and it's finally somewhere that I am immensely proud of :] so please enjoy this scene in quite literally all it's glory!

[Disclaimer: this is a standalone scene (of a larger story), but it's not the beginning of a long form comic. Currently I have no plans of doing that, but I would like to do more of these short ones! ]

#windyart #comic #the hollowridge disaster #knife #adriel #dianne #nirven #AUUUGHGHHH AUUGHGHGHGHG IM DONE!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH #SCREAMING IN THE TAGS BC I WAS ALREADY CORDIAL IN THE CAPTION I CAN SCREAM IN TAGS!!! AAAHH!! AHHHHH!!!! #AWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA!!! I DID THAT!!! I DID THAT FOR REAL!!! I MADE IT!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #IM SO PROUD HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AUUUUHHHHHHH #im legit so proud of this im genuinely giddy i couldnt wait to share and show everyone #i really loved making this so i hope you love reading it!!! thank you!! mwah!! #i quintuple checked that everything was correct in the pages and in the post im still nervous to share just in case #ahhh gosh i just want this to be as perfect as possible

[sunsetzer]

On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.

On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.

#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized #to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was #i have to say #i genuinely love it here #i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing #thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me #i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6 #probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women #instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women #my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep #or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant #theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao #bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes #and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine #but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh #theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times #and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake #maybe im just jaded lmao #im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario #the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in #ff6 #my post #i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults #but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults #who bully each other and younger fans #and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger #maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao #also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot

[skunkes]

Your post about loving to study the beauty of the human body as well as wanting to love someone male while also be them is something I've been feeling for the past few years tbh but I've never heard someone put it in the exact words I use before. I think it's also because when it comes to topics like that I also feel embarrassed trying to explain a melded and complicated but beautiful emotion that doesn't have a word for it other than imagery in my mind

Sorry for the random soul post in your inbox but I get you! And that makes me happy

Also you're art is very cool and holds the very idea of human warmth and love within keep it up

responding to the compliment first, thank you!!!

as for the rest, yes! In the past I've definitely understood "love someone so much you want to crawl into them because hugging and physical intimacy isn't enough" as well as the usual "do i wanna fuck them or be them 🤪" sentiment floating around,

but it's not until very recently that I pieced together the, "well, what would I do if I literally got my hands on another [human being]. I'm not sure it would be enough to just Behold a [beautiful human being], I also want to be a beautiful [human being], but in the way this [person] is, which is. Unlike the way I am. Different from how I am. (In the many ways that can be interpreted)."

Which is adjacent to the "crawling into them", and adjacent to wishing I could be desired in the same way that I desire, and then directly connected to the way I am being genuine and casual when I say I love looking at and am in awe of the human form, but it's so very easy for that genuine love to slip into that intense and strange enthusiasm to map out, touch, explore, examine, open, crawl, meld, Be. Be!

#skunk mail #Anonymous #(all metaphorical of course; im not chopping anyone to pieces) #<- also actually saying this genuinely and not in a sneaky sarcastic way #im not chopping anyone to pieces AND i understand healthy boundaries. i obvs wouldnt actually just get weird with somebody #in such a vulnerable state. its meant more playful. you are human im human i dont feel human i want to be human #i want to touch you human i want to be you human. human like you. not human like me. #is it enough to admire you when i so badly want to be a human of your appearance...in some ways general and some ways specific... #...your usage of the word ''male'' also rings true. for some of this. augh. #long post #long ask #Another way to describe it is: I have made many posts about my feeling of isolation from my alleged hobbies... #it's never enough to just collect beautiful art from others or marvel at someone's skilled Print Making #How do you just admire? I want to do it too. I want to do it too. #and also i am looking back and forth from the dynamic with talon wrt these sentiments #scratching my neck and looking nervous #🌺

[worfianism]

Listen whoever decided to pair up La'an and an alternate version of Jim Kirk in a romcom style classic time travel episode actually galaxy brained. Freaking great episode.

#snw #star trek #listen i feel nervous about saying this because spirk is so popular (as it should be i too am a spirk girlie in some ways) #but damn christina chong and paul wesley had CHEMISTRY man #and la'an deserves good things and it was just so sad all of it was so sad #i hope her and jim end up as friends eventually in the proper timeline #also just what a great la'an episode #i love the la'an episodes on snw (including the gorn centric ones i know people dont like the snw gorn but i havent seen them on tos yet so #im not particularly attached to them so i just really love the la'an episodes) #and christina chong was so good man!!! #this maybe my fav snw episode to date #its competing with spock amok i think #v makes a post #i dont know why im putting my full thoughts in the tags but i guess i am #the inclusion of jim i will say is a little random unless this will be brought back in some way but the pairing was genuinely great that i #will ignore that it jim's inclusion was basically just to say that jim featured in this snw episode #also this is a huge day for james kirk girlies of which i am one

[onippep]

Gates

This one doesn't fit me.

(Hm, yeah, it looks a little too big...)

T-Try it on.

Ah--?!

I'm serious. I think it'd look good.

RrrrRr... hmhm... (wouldn't mind matching you...)

Exactly.

[hums]

(W-well?)

Hmhm. How's it feel wearing the new work uniform?

[grin] (...Good!... Are these permanent?)

[chuckle] Maybe. Laundry pending. It-- it looks great on you. Seriously.

Hmmmn~! (I'm glad. Yours looks wonderful too. Handsome even.)

I could say the same for you, f-frog.

[exasperated, wheezy sigh] (You're g-getting me all bashful.)

Good. It's cute. Y-you're cute. Er.

[nervous wheeze?!]

S-say, uh. Wanna-- wanna dance with me?

!!! (... Yes, I do...!) [ugly frog noises]

[nervous chuckle] Pfft-- good. Great! Yeah.. Let's go!

[he's acting so... so different...! I'm-- I'm excited..!]

#;pepperoni #;it's a red birthday #;pizzaplot #;peppino speaks #;oni speaks #leaddyart #long post // #((you're not gonna wanna miss this one. i genuinely felt smth drawing this one #((so i found out that the secret sauce is having them BOTH nervous at the same time and now im on the floor #((so. enjoy. #;snapshots #((also just in case-- those are peppino's thoughts in the pics-- not oni's

[jaylor]

tw: im so confused how this fandom all unanimously loathed matty healy for saying he got off to porn of Black women being b**talized, t**tured, and r***d but then those same people are now crying and feeling bad for Taylor being angry with us that Matty ghosted her after being held accountable for exactly that behavior??

#tw rape #tw torture #tw racism #im literally confused #has this fandom just not caught on that the album is about matty? cause it is #i mean genuinely that could be why people feel bad idk #it's surprisingly not about joe or travis except for like one song each #i feel nervous about posting this cause i feel like people are going to just tell me to shut up and let them enjoy drop night #but like what taylor is complaining about is actually like really fucked up.... i feel like i have to say something #and she's also making fun of us and calling us bad people? #and we all agreed matty wasn't a good person so it is all of us she's making of fun of #okay im not posting more i just find this all really fucked up

[dandyshucks]

heres a quick Philby sketch !! just pretend all their clothes are rainbow coloured 🌈 :]

#one day I'll use pencil crayons or smth to colour stuff but it is just not smth I enjoy a whole lot #Lake is the one who rly enjoys using pencil crayons - he doesnt even use pencil fjdkdl just goes right in with the crayolas its crazy #and then a couple of the kiddos use markers and crayons! i want to share one of the kiddos art styles bc its genuinely so cool.... hmmm #maybe I'll make a post just to show our system's different art styles fhfkdl just for funsies #i like sharing stuff on this blog way more than my other account bc this is a smaller space w nicer ppl DBFHDKL #like my other account has some absolutely lovely ppl but theres also some ppl who make me nervous on my main LOL #i dont block them bc they rarely show up in my activity and they dont rly bother me that much #ANYWAYS WOW IM RAMBLING LOL this is what happens when i post less fhdkdl #the ramblers curse stores up power and then BLAM it all comes spewing out #ANYWAYS YAY PHILBY YAY YIPPEE MY BELOVED OC #i do not know how to draw canes very well yet but im going to figure it out!! same with wheelchairs!! #i want(+need) to learn how to draw mobility aids for some other OCs so Philby is good motivation to learn !!! #☎️philby #doodlebug.png #dandy.cmd

[greaserink]

How are you doing!!

#sundrop #papa emeritus iv #tf2 medic #cronus ampora #greaser ink #sleepyjuniper #self shipping??? #omg im so sorry it took me so long to get to this #i've been nervous about when to post this #ty btw i genuinely love ur content i inject it straight into my veins #i can't stop thinking about fictional characters halp

[morphogenetic]

can people stop reblogging obvious 'haha i'm ace and a shithead' discourse bait posts from 2017. i am so tired

#this IS a vague for once but only bc i'm also using it as a psa #sorry if this post is about you. i just really dont want to have to dig up why this shit was so harmful again and i do not want to confront #you (or just talk to you ig #not necessarily confrontational) if you're genuinely not aware of this #posts like that are a) obvious bait and b) genuinely why i STILL feel more nervous saying im acespec than saying im trans #can you please fucking not. thanks.

[stuffedsand]

Wahey milgram oc time my silly guya

013 - Shiratori Masaki

My boy

- 20

- prisoner number 013 (I slapped them into base milgram cuz I don't wanna make a whole new cast)

- to quote my own character notes: cringefail specimen of a man.

-- fun name thing! His first name means "true, hope" hehe

UNDERCOVER

"Under, oh so aware of all that you say

This makes me sick, so please, go away"

Votes (fabricated lmao)

T1 - INNOCENT

T2 - GUILTY

Songs of Prisoners

+T1 – what…what are you talking about?

+T2 – no…you-you’re lying!

Voice trailer (t1)

Oh uh… Shiratori Masaki, that's my name. 20, uni student. Uhh what else … oh, sorry if I forget anything, i, ah, my memory has never been any good

If I'm being honest…I don't know what the hell you're talking about! No one around me has died recently. At least…not as far as I can recall…

*Takai? Takai! Wake up! This isn't funny..!*

Voice trailer (t2)

Hi, Es-kun, how have you been? Ah, Shiratori Masaki. You didn't forget our deal, right?

*Shut up! I don't want to listen to you and your stupid problems anymore!*

Personality

-- a timid yet stubborn man. It is very difficult to change his opinions on things. Polite, but very quick to turn defensive if blame is turned on him.

He can be a prick at times.

Extra notes

-- a man with really bad memory loss. During T1 interro, he makes a deal that he'll take MILGRAM seriously if Es can tell him who his victim is. And he has to believe it

-- not mentioned but his memory loss is a trauma response. Dead bodies are traumatic I don't think that's a contraversial take

-- the indirect murderer of the pair

Full body:

Please note -- his ugly fucking shoes were not an accident he has a horrible fashion sense

014 - Akabane Kazuko

The She

-23

-prisoner number 014

-based off one of my multifandom ocs (and my favourite of the 2)

--fun name thing! Her name means "gentle/kind/harmonious child". 子 is also(apparantly) male specific. I have fun reasons for that

UNDERCOVER

(pardon the artstyle change this was done on my tablet instead of my computer and was. Rushed💀)

Under, I don't care if I'm in the right or wrong

Songs of prisoners

Full of malice, we will waltz to our doom

Votes (edit)

T1 - guilty

T2 - (?)

+t1 – let's get on with it, shall we?

+T2 – ...you're not very good at this.

T1 – voice trailer

Hello. I am Akabane Kazuko. 24. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Warden.

I am interested in how all this will play out. But nothing will really change the impact of our actions. Remember that, Warden

* My final act… will take your breath away! *

T2 – voice trailer

Good day, Warden. Kazuko, you remember, yes? Seems your choices have caused quite the ruckus.

* You…You know what you've done! I'll make you pay for it!*

Personality

-- a calm and gentle woman. A showman at heart, she is elegant and loves performing magic tricks.

-- some are unsettled by her, but she does her best to be kind and friendly to those she speaks to

Extra notes:

-- Magician coded :)

-- because I can fabricate fan theories, es assumed they killed 2 people in trial one. They have only killed one.

-- the direct murderer of the pair

Full body: (outdated a lil, I changed her vibe. Design still stands)

Please note -- bowling alley socks

Interro qns (please give me some interro questions tho I'm very bad at thinking any up)

Also note: interros are formatted as

--

Question

Kazuko

Masaki

--

Cuz I wrote this when I labelled Kazuko as 001 and Masaki as 002. I'm changing it to reflect their new numbers but editing on Tumblr mobile sucks so I'm not changing the order </3

Q)Tell us your family structure

014 — mother, self, brother,

...it's just me now

013 — parents, me and my twin, Shiratori Takai.

Q)Is there people you hate?

014 — hypocrites.

Don't become one, warden

013 — people who always depend on you

Q)Which prisoner is the most similar to you?

014 – yuzuriha kotoko.

013 – hm...

Probably kayano. He looks like he doesn't know why he's here, too

Q)What was your murder weapon?

014 — what a bold question

It was a bottle.

013 — haha, I'll humour you for this one

Hmmmm...... My words, maybe? I've been told i have quite a sharp tongue

Q)What was your family like?

014 — kind, resilient. They were wonderful. I

loved them

013 — they're ok.

Which prisoner do you get along with the least?

014 — mr mukuhara. Nothing against him, he just reminds me of someone.

013 — …Kusunoki. No reason, but I do wish she'd stop trying to talk to me. It's annoying.

Q)How has your experience been within MILGRAM ?

014 — quite good, considering we're all in here for murder.

013 — uh… good? I still don't believe you saying we're all murderers.

Q)Do you have regrets?

014 — yes. I should have done something sooner

013 — no? I did argue with my brother recently, but it was nothing, really. I'll apologize and everything will be fine

Q)Is there a verdict you hope for?

014) all I hope for is your honest judgement. I want to see how you choose to judge

013) Well, since I don't think I've done anything… I'd hope to be forgiven, of course.

Who was your victim to you?

014) nothing.

013) eh? Warden, I don't know. We made a deal remember? You tell me!

What is your father like?

014) i dont consider him my father.

013) uh…he’s my dad. What more do you want me to say, really...

What do you think of the prisoner paired with you?

014) Shiratori? Not much opinion. I do wonder what he's done to be here, though.

013) Ms Kazuko..? Shes intimidating, if I'm being honest. Not scary, just...intimidating

#milgram #milgram oc #aughdgdhsgs my guys!!! i think about them alot #kazuko is an old oc from when i only used wattpad. i just changed her name lmao #and her backstory lmao #masaki doesnt like muu but he kinda parrallels her in that t1 he seems fine if pitiable and t2 he starts victimblaming #as my character notes states: his coping mechanism is being an asshole #anyways guess their victims i think its too obvious but idk #also giv eme more interro questions💥💥 im bad at fitting in questions for a character who genuinely doesnt know #wahey 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 theyre silly to me #i havent fully fleshed em out :p but i lobe them #anywags my f #my guys my sillies. im so eepy #the amount of tags is vuz im procrastinating on send post jm nervous this is an oc post ive never done fhis lmao #oopsie. post button

[squiddcakes]

Out of curiosity would anyone be interested if I do furry adopts? Specifically ones of different dog breeds and personalities? It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while and was just thinking about it until now.

#this is my first time doing adopts so tbh Im nervous about it but if people show genuine interest I’ll consider doing them more often #I’ll probably only make 4 for the first time around since I don’t wanna invest too much into this idea #squid talks #txt post #adopts #adoptables #furry character

[deathclassic]

jamie, me, david

#m does rambles #my face #im so annoyed at that stupid piece of hair #and im doing my nervous smile lol #sigh #the more i look the more i hate but im posting it because i am genuinely happy and my eyes are open so it's a success #also i cropped my brother out #but we have visual confirmation he's taller than david harbour

[swamp-gremlin]

My Old Nick hc's, interpretation, analysis, and other odd bits PT.1

Part 2

This is long overdue but I feel I oughta get something out of the way. I've had a incredibly aggressive special interest in him for like 3-5ish years and at some point in writing hc's I just started making shit up(I mean isn't that just hc's are?) because I really just took a guy with a whopping 14 lines of dialogue and just started sprinting.

I'm choosing to actually leave a few things out as I wish to explore those ideas more in This isn't over Jack, Ill probably swing back around to this after I wrap that up. In the mean time if you wanna swap ideas I'm down(please please please pleaseplea)

Turns out I hit text limit with this oh my lord, ill post pt2 tomorrow, i'm sorry

Can't think of anything particularly triggering in this but i'll warn it gets just kinda bleak

Human turned Fae- I will not elaborate, this will be explained later...

would actually break your legs if you called him a fairy

I've never actually pinned down any specific powers for him for some reason? like i just cant think of like any that i could write/ illustrate that wouldn't feel too gauche... So I just kinda nebulously imaged so weird fae-fuckery type of magic- though I think the most compelling interpretation of his powers was in Scouts Australian Christmas (pls go read it, its a really good fic)

Gay, but I cant imagine he's like particularly out about it; like its a iykyk sorta think because I definitely feel there probably some shame or internalized homophobia there (smth smth homophobic senator caught in a gay bar joke)

Autistic, but most definitely not diagnosed- he would become absolute incensed if you suggested it, like "There is nothing wrong with me, I am normal" but you can tell that he knows there's something "wrong with him" but he has no idea what and is incredibly afraid of even attempting to confront that

Can't imagine there's a moment where he's not masking, he doesn't understand his own limits and will keep doing things until he quite literally can't anymore

Probably has some ~effeminate~ interest he's deeply embarrassed by, but like in all reality its very normal and even if it was thats not a bad thing, he just makes it a big deal for no reason

STRADDLING the line between infodumping and mansplaining

Could be genuinely into a topic but he's just so condescending about it

High functioning alcoholic, kinda in that 50s/ rich way but it's very obvious he has a problem but everyone always brushes it off as "thats just how he is/ things are"

Nick could honestly just be summed up in his impact as a *a systematic bad thing happens again and again* "thats just how things are, get over it" sorta thing or a "Heart warming: student raises funds to prevent orphans from being sent to orphan grinder" and then no-one questions why the orphan grinder exists in the first place

He has been meticulously constructing his public image/ brand as "Old Nick"/ "The Spirit of Australian Christmas"

He is a liar, but he's a very good liar

His accent is fake, his laugh is fake, his public lore is fake and he's not even Australian he's British! (Which is arguably worst thing he has done)

He's basically been voice training to keep up a modern australian accent for years now, but his real accent is more of that 1700s british (which actually sounds different from modern a modern britsh accent) but sometimes he's has moments and his accent slips (mostly when he's yelling)

Has practiced his evil villain laugh so hard, like its a good villain laugh but if you listen hard you can tell its not real

Genuinely so fucking embarrassed by his actual laugh which i can only describe as if a goose that has been smoking a pack a day was being strangled to death

I kinda go back an forth on Nicks upbringing sometimes, because I kinda feel I went the kinda overplayed sorta tragic backstory; but also growing up in 1700s England was probably not fun if you weren't rich and also have you ever met a miserable boomer who does the whole "kids these days are too damn soft back when I was a kid *recounts an incredibly traumatizing event*!" Thing? Yeah he probably does that a lot and it makes everyone kinda uncomfortable

Maybe orphaned? Probably had brothers because he has strong younger brother "your oppressing me by giving me a task" energy (btw this relates to a super stupid hc that im not gonna share because its incredibly dumb)

Expressed a lot of attention seeking behavior from a young age, would purposefully get into trouble so someone would notice him

This behavior followed him into adult life and it would just keep getting worst and worst, like getting into bar fights that he would definitely lose and petty crime

Eventually he just kept ramping up the severity of his crimes till he actually had a warrant/ bounty placed for his arrest

To avoid getting arrested he became a sailor in his late 20s and jumped between ships and trades up until his 50s/60s

Eventually he was arrested and then get shipped off to Australia

After a few months he stuck there he was like "actually, fuck this" and started plotting an escape

He stole a boat and with his previous knowledge from being a sailor he was so full of himself he thought he did single-handedly sail and navigate back Britain or a British sympathetic colony and then lay low for the rest of his life

Of course he didn't happen and due to the fact he is stupid he got stranded in antarctic and the rest is history

If you wanna know how we got from "random crusty criminal" to "Spirit of Australian Christmas" you have to stick around for my shit ass comic and videos fucker

anyway where was i, Nick proceeded to twists that into "Yeah i totally meant to do discover antarctic, even though i was a 1780s peasant who would have not have even known that antarctic was even thing" he kinda sorta dropped the rest of it and made up more shit Homelander style

I don't believe that Nick was like well off in anyway when he was still mortal, and despite being just bludgeoned over the head with the effects of classism and a nightmare capitalist hell society he developed this horrible idolization of the rich and developed this almost "by your bootstraps" mentality but with like the brutality rich bushiness owners would treat there workers, where he though if he became horrible and ruthless he could trample and climb on the backs of his fellow men till he made it to that oh so coveted high society life.

probably doesn't help he would do absolutely anything for money either

and the thing is he made it, he's just unfathomably rich(that is till all those gambling debts catch up to him...) he got what he wanted, he got he's gotten all the money and attention he could have wanted... and yet he's miserable, nothing will ever be enough for him.

Throw back motif that's still my favorite- "decaying luxury". Nick is like obviously rich as fuck and yet just refuses to fix anything, like his sweater has so many little holes in it he just stopped bothering to fix, he's patched his pants so many times, stairs worn down to the point the rug is thread bear and the wood is dented, intricate arsenic and lead laced wallpaper that's now water damaged and peeling, his favorite chair's seams are ripped, and the stuffing and springs are just compressed and flat to the point its not even comfortable to sit in anymore. Like he can fix it, he has the money, and yet he just won't for some reason.

Oh speaking of arsenic and lead- mans is just absolutely FULL of lead, arsenic, asbestos, any other harmful thing the Victorians where just absolutely HUFFING

tangent on a tangent, i really associate him with the Victorian era despite him being born in the 1700s, maybe its the child labor, maybe its the stupid chops, he just looks like he should be in super tall neck-line and doing coke for a headache

Nick is just both incredibly self absorbed but also so fucking insecure, like very big insecure man makes his problems everyone else's problem and take his out on other people to feel better about himself energy

He's just so vain too, like i image he's just obsessed with himself and his image, probably doesn't help he's quite literately has been decomposing for like the last two centuries (IT WILL BE EXPLAINED WHY LATER I PROMMY) so he just has this like incredibly extensive Patrick Bateman ass self-care routine so he doesn't get moldy

#hey have you ever wanted to listen to the ramblings of a fucking mad man? here you go bc god does writing this out make me sound crazy #i did not expect to hit char limit with this dear god... #and for a guy that hasn't been relevant since 2011 #im genuinely so nervous to post this bc this is just so much but this is what its like in my head 24/7 i have to live like this #tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 old nick #from the mouth of madness #old nick tf2

[barredandromeda]

imsoo normal about guys byw

#sprry this is the start of my downfall im actually going to theow up and vomit and die #fronting daily actually sucks!and i have no restraint on my curiiusity and i have to figure shit out and i literally want to die #cause like i found out shit i didnt want to and its entirely my fault too bro i cant even be upset cause i went looking for it ughhh #i should be allowed to die afterschool so i dont have to feel anything else tbh thatd be a pleasure great thing whwatever #this is genuinelky the repeat of my downfall again literally september all over again and its just march jesus fucking fhrist bro need todi #the nervous system is so dumb what is ooottfvgvsh or whagevr i hate that dumbass acronym i hate healrhcare #serenity save me 🙏 save me serenity 🙏 come home #everyone keeps sayng that but qith donald trump #anyway back to me i need to scream and not just to serenity cause i feel bad🤭 no emojis are tood enougu anymore bro im going to kms #killing myself so fucking hard like a vampire driving a stake through his heart sort of shit ykwim like a siren drowning ro sokething poeti #save me sid 🙏 sid save me actually hed laugh at me for hthis lowkey which is soo deserved cause real bro why am i breaking down at midnight #on a dchool day too bro again and again i dont want to go to mf schooll and be obsessed w k. hes fine but i genuinely cant do my work #lowkey would iet be weird to talk to my ex ab my relationship with him cause like yea i miss him ykwim and i need closure but i got a crush #cause like on one hand its like i was the one who brokenup ykwim like even if the circumstances werewei4d whatever its like why would i hav #the right to even bring it up and i alr crushed on a new guy and like ignoring the uguult i do like him ughh broni want to kms #i love love i just dont love lvoe for myself cause ugh bro i hare one guy idc ab his crushes but he made me hear ab them lke idc idek him #sorry u had a bad experience w bi girls like idk what u want me to say ??? surprise me too ??? tff ugh i hate love girls #i need a gf but the thoigjt of liking a girl genuinely deeply scares me to my core cause i like girls but ppl dont like that i do ykwim #all mu friends are fucking gay bro idek why im so worried ab liking girls like who is there to disappoint but myself and my entire family #noo pressure qt all being oldest and queerest like ok yeah its midnight happy new years. i need this blanket tobsuffocste me #sleep wrappedup alr like a borito burito i dek and its not enoughh i need a soul crushing embrafe to sleep #ok im done i got post vent clarity i need to sleep #post #erics tag #delete later #serenity needs this as a ref in the morning #i beed my mom to cry to but j cant tell her any of this id rather be eaten alive by bugsbro and if i just cry to her without a reason #shell fs go througj my phone and fimd out why anyway so wjats the pointtt my god i tqlk too much and vent too much #gota flair forbthe dramatics ivguess mb