#im still overcompensating i know

[orcelito]

Honestly why am I fucking Like This

#speculation nation #im still overcompensating i know #i got the everliving shit scared outta me and had one of the most humiliating days of my life #and ive been working so hard on being Useful that i have been. putting in a Lot of extra hours... #i didnt Have to do all of this today. i stayed late to do it. 1.5 hours of active lifting the Entire Time #plus some work with counting and general managerial stuff #so that i stayed 2 hours and 20 mins over my 5 hour shift #and im just like. in the moment i was just so bothered by how disorganized everything was #i couldnt find where the Fucking lids were. ended up they were buried under a bunch of other stuff. #so i dug them out. reorganized. did a Ton of lifting. #like... uhmmm. 9 large boxes 7 regular boxes 4 straws 10 sippy lids and 31 dome lids #boxes. all boxes. #oh yeah and 8 paper bag boxes. plus general rearranging. #none of the lids were in one place and all the cups boxes were on top of the other boxes #so i had to pull them out to dig things out then put them back in #the good news is the lids boxes were pretty light. cup boxes not so much. #but thats still. kind of an insane number when i think about it. #i didnt NEED to do this. but i did anyways. because im a neurotic prey animal working desperately to keep the anger away from me #wahoooooo #it's... fine. it feels good to be productive. im just feeling... a bit fed up with myself. #my hip has already been bothering me today bc there always has to be Something wrong with my body #and then i went and did This. who knows what fucking unpleasant side effects this is gonna have on me. #sore muscles probably. maybe bruises. and MAYBE ill fuck my back or ankles up again. or make my hip worse. or #whatever. #it's fine. i'll be fine. im gonna go home and eat dinner and... chill. im gonna chill. #just. ugh. #but im clocked out at least. and i have tomorrow off. i'll make sure it's a good one.

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

#my stuff #i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks #like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy #hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month? #can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control #can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me? #and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone #so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks #im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better #i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up #cause i can see that happening #i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something #and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends. #and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you #i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once. #and that's not me. that's not who I want to be. #i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Hi, im researching for a fic im writing, and i want to ask if you know whats up with Jai's messed up connection to the speedforce? and also how the fuck do they use the speedforce to get super strength? how does going fast translate into being strong? Do you know what issues to read to learn more about this? like why do Jai (& Jesse?) have super strength, how did they do this? Why did they do this?

So Jesse's strength is a very quick and easy answer so I'll address that first before jumping into Jai's whole thing.

Jesse's mom is Liberty Belle, a hero with super strength. Jesse inherited her father's speed and her mother's super strength. She's just... I don't want to say that she's better at being a speedster but high key she is. Jesse only figured out her super strength recently and it's still pretty touch and go. She used to only have the speed and then that fizzled out and she only had the strength for a bit and then it switched back to just speed again. She seems to have both powers now though and she seems to know how to use them both so fingers crossed 🤞

Jai is a whole different ballgame.

So Irey and Jai were born as fraternal twins. There were two things wrong when they were born.

A) Only Irey was born with a speedforce connection. Jai technically wasn't born with powers at all. Irey had wrapped her speedforce connection around Jai to share her powers but it was significantly damaging to both of them.

and

B) Their shared speedforce connection was tainted with Black Flash energy. (Negative Speedforce)

So let's talk about the Negative Speedforce energy. This is the stuff that turns speedsters into Black Flashes. This is what permanently killed Johnny Quick. One touch of this stuff will obliterate a speedster entirely. It's one of the only ways to permanently kill a speedster because it corrupts their speedforce energy in a way that cannot be undone. So there isn't anything left to bring back.

And this stuff was creeping through the twin's shared connection like a virus. That's what caused their fatal aging disease. Their speedforce connection was so out of wack and their bodies didn't know how to fight off this energy and their metabolisms went into overdrive. Aged them both to 100 within six months. Thankfully Wally figured it out and was able to absorb the Negative Speedforce energy. This cured the twins and deaging them down to five ish (but caused some serious problems for Wally).

Okay so back to point A. Their shared speedforce connection. Irey was sharing her powers with Jai subconsciously and that's why she couldn't run. She didn't have enough energy to. She could only vibrate through stuff. Jai also didn't have enough energy to run but he had other serious issues because he wasn't a speedster like Irey. His body wasn't built to handle that much energy.

As a result Jai had some weird stuff going on. Jai's main power was to hyper accelerate the growth of his muscles. This would give him temporary super strength. I say 'super strength' but realistically Jai on par with extreme weight lifters. He wasn't Superman levels of strong. But, again, Jai's body couldn't handle this so everytime he used his power he had about five minutes until he passed out. Then someone would have to feed him or he'd go into shock.

He also had some other strange things. Like his DNA mutating and devolving when he got stressed. Basically his DNA went 'back in time' and Jai shape shifted a bit. This wasn't something he could control and it was very very very bad.

Irey eventually took her half of the speedforce connection back, which cemented her connection and stopped them both from having seizures. Jai was not happy about no longer having powers. Even less happy about Irey being a child prodigy speedster. Although Irey shared her powers with Jai in emergencies (which gave them both superspeed because Irey had a stronger connection and more skill as she grew older), they couldn't do this without Jai being in extreme pain. Also his seizures coming back.

Now we need to talk about the speedforce surge. The speedforce surge is this insane amount of wild speedforce energy that has to go somewhere or it'll explode the world. It's an overload of energy. To explain the scale of this thing, it caused the mass extinction event that wiped out the dinosaurs.

Wally tracked this dangerous surge down before it destroyed reality and he absorbed it until he could figure out what to do with it.

And...

Well he gave it to Jai.

Jai's speedforce connection is the surge. Jai operates on this untamable wild speedforce energy. So Jai now has A LOT of energy to work with but it doesn't really work the same way typical speedforce energy does. That's why he can't run. (yet at least. can't run yet)

Instead, the surge energy ramps up Jai's friction barrier, healing factor and his metabolism. That doesn't sound like much but hoLY FUCK it's op.

Every speedster has a friction barrier that they generate when they run. It stops their skin from melting off when they reach top speeds, the wind from tearing their bodies apart, bugs from hitting them with the force of bullets, their bones from shattering every time they take a step, ect, ect. Their friction barriers can only do so much (they act as a cushion, they don't make them invulnerable. They won't stop a bullet for example) and they only really work when the speedster is actively running.

Jai put all of his goddamn energy into his friction barrier. The child is literally invulnerable. I'm not even joking. And it's constant too, it doesn't switch off.

Jai's metabolism and his healing factor are why he has super strength. Simply put, Jai has a lot of energy. A LOT. And what doesn't go to his friction barrier, goes to his cells. His healing factor is also amped up and would take care of any muscle tears, fatigue, lactic acid build up, dead cells, ect almost instantaneously. What I'm saying here is that Jai's body is in perfect condition always and he has an unlimited amount of energy for his muscles to use.

Jai has super strength because he doesn't have limits. Jai turned Minecraft from Survival Mode to Creative Mode. He can extend any amount of force without any negative consequences on his body. He uses his strength to do his Thunder clap move which is canonically, at 8 years old, stronger than a Kryptonian's Thunder clap. It's confirmed that Jai is still figuring out how to channel the surge energy correctly, so he's not there yet, but one day he will be stronger than the Kryptonians.

Which is insane.

Honestly Wally is the embodiment of 'I will do anything for my children' because Jai was sad about not having powers so Wally gave him a dangerously unstable energy source (that's killed millions of people) that has the equivalent energy of two stars colliding. AT EIGHT. Wally gave a CHILD this unlimited unchecked power!!

Anyway, father of the goddamn year. I love that man. He would truly do anything for his children and now I'm pretty sure his son can't die so 10/10 decision.

#i mean if he did die he would come back like every other speedster but i genuinely don't think Jai can die like at all #with his healing factor and invulnerability? itd be tough to take him down #dc #dc comics #the flash #kid flash #wally west #impulse #irey west #thunderheart #jai west #surge #jai can't run rn tho at all. no speed at all really. he doesn't have the energy for it! literally all of his energy goes to his body #or his barrier #there is ZERO energy left for speed of any kind #i don't know WHY his speedforce connection prioritizes his health over speed but im guessing it has to do with him not being a speedster #Jai is literally not built for this. my headcanon is that he STILL isn't built for this. so the surge over compensates #EVERYTHING goes into his healing factor barrier and body. to keep him healthy and safe #its overcompensating massively #anyway that part is just a theory #could also be psychological on Jai's part. like he remembers not being built for speed. he remembers his body breaking down #and his friction barrier being almost non existent and the heat and wind ripping into him everytime he ran #it could be that Jai puts everything into his barrier and body to keep himself safe because he remembers what its like on the other side

[seth-burroughs]

I will not stay silenced any longer. I really cannot relate to the badass girlboss Yomi truthers crowd. I'm sorry but constantly being so obsessed with proving your prowess and supposed superiority via [gestures at every single time he appeared in the game only to act like an insecure manchild who has to continuously reassert his authority he feels entitled to with continuos self-praise, lashing out with petty insults, violence or even pettier wackier violence] are not the acts of someone who is at all secure and confident in their abilities and themself,

#''ok but what if [x character] was truly THAT confident and cool and not overcompensating for anything'' you are so boring. begone. #Yomi to me reads like a very miserable man (which tends to be a side effect of being a deeply unpleasant person) #control is a comfort. power is security. make people do anything and punish everyone who makes you feel bad #powerful people can take anything they want from you. he KNOWS that #now he has that power. he's the director of the peacekeepers the quite literal top dog of kanai ward. the one whom the world revolves aroun #now he's the one who bargains and makes others grovel. people flock to him and he can make them do anything he wants them to do #now no one can make him scared or powerless ever again. And that is STILL not enough and will probably never be. #god. i want to wring him like a wet dishrag and smack him on the counter so he makes that PLAP sound. #anyway...... like and subcribe #mine #rain code #yomi hellsmile #oh wait one more thing - not vaguing anybody here actually nobody here. not talking about anybody in particular #i feel like im gonna need to say this. you know. gut feelings and the like. #girl god damn it the tags are longer than the post itself again. #The ''I DID proofread this but like only once and not that patiently'' tag

[dennisboobs]

do you guys ever sit and remember that dennis takes a mental health day is an episode that exists

#ada speaks #i think i could probably recite the entire one sided phone conversation he has with daisy by heart and i havent seen the ep in months #i don't know how to explain it but #from what little ive read of ross' writing it feels like. when you click onto a fanfic and you feel immediate deep trust of the author #like it just clicks #the cookbook characterization specifically. is like. #i would put my life in your hands #and im sure we will get more eps by him and i really hope that continues because i think its been a very long time since the shows had #writers that i feel Get the characters in a way that feels effortless rather than. overcompensating. #like you can smell that writer's signature no matter how hard they try to cover it up with jokes and subversions #which isnt always a bad thing and im sure if we do get more maloney eps i'll pick up on his writers quirks too #but it doesn't feel like he's trying to copy anyone/pull from old eps it feels like he has a good grasp on things which makes it feel fresh #i find that long running shows hit a point where episodes start to feel less cohesive and more like. segmented short films #but if you have a really good group of writers and they find their groove its like. yeah. ok. #i think season 3 is a good study because marder and rosell's influence is all over the entire season #later seasons you can literally just. Feel which eps they worked on because its got a completely different vibe from the rest of the season #16 still suffers from that segmentation but #i think all the first time sunny writers (and nina's first solo ep) were all absolutely fuckin bangers and they've got a good team in there #anyway. characterization of dennis flipflops a lot. but the rest of the gang arguably gets it worse at times #i think megan's dee is the absolute worst aside from conor galvin's #and i understand wanting to write her as a girlfailure who is just. horrible. but. #ok. comparing self help book dee to ross' cookbook dee. i dont even have to say anything do i. #she's like. The Woman. in the self help book. and i fucking could not stand it. ross' dee is so perfect though #and his frank. MAN. #EVERYONE FUCKING RUINS FRANK. #i think marder and rosell's frank is a lot of fun because hes clearly based on marder's dad and acts believably #a lot of writers struggle to capture his. frank-ness. #he's sort of suffered from like. bland pervy senile old man writing for a long time #and ross brought back him actually being a competent businessman #IM OUT OF TAGS IM SHUTTING UP

[ruthlesslistener]

mildly frustrated with feeling like my Seawalker species is somehow not 'advanced enough' to count as a modern-level alien civilization because they do not have clothes or aboveground complex cities or tech (outside of medical use and emergency-only weaponry) but also like. how the fuck am i supposed to put clothes on a 9-foot-at-the-shoulder-sometimes-12 amphibious alien reptile with 8 limbs that lives in a climate that is on average 95 degrees fahrenheit at 100% humidity that spends an equal amount of time at sea and on land. and why the fuck would they need complex tools when two sets of those limbs are highly dexterous, they have tusks that are both specialized weapons and excellent tools for holding things when the hands are occupied or puncturing/carving objects, and they are the apex predators on land and near-apex predators in the sea. they dont fucking need clothes or complex tools outside of medical use they have everything required for comfortable living built in

#also a major plot point is that human colonizers assume that they aren't sapient because of these very reasons #and do horrible things to them to try to steal their land before they retaliate and push them out and activate planetary defense systems #but still. i feel like im somehow making them lacking reguardless #and then overcompensating by having them have an intense understanding of magnets and how to use them #when i myself dont know how the fuck magnets work

[ellistocracy]

spent all your money on christmas and now have no money for my birthday present? not to worry! here is a short list of just some of the things you can give me for absolutely free!

a fucking break

#ellistocracy.txt #i will also accept attention praise and/or pictures of your pets #anyway sorry for posting about my birthday so much. stop reading here if you don't want to read my secret vent tags #but godddd okay so. it's not like my birthday has ever not been disappointing (considering when it is) #yknow. everyone being spent out and either still on christmas vacation or sick from being around so many people #and it's definitely gotten worse. like the year my family got covid. or the other year my family got covid #but uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhh this year really takes the cake (the birthday cake even) #so please just bear with me while i overcompensate by not shutting up about it #and I don't even really have any close friends anymore. so i don't even know who i can talk to about this #this isn't a cry for help though im okay. like im not even disappointed this is pretty much how i expected things to go #if you do wanna reach out and wish me a happy birthday though its on the 30th. and i would appreciate it a lot #anyways thats all. for those still reading thanks for giving me a little of your time

[polithicc]

ugh.

#ex gf texted me a link to an article about an artist we both like and then we talked briefly about a different artist we would listen to #together and i just wish there was an easy way for us to be friends #like it’s so obvious that we’re overcompensating by being nice and putting this wxcited tone on our messages #and it makes me sad bc Im still angry about the things she said to me and how I let her treat me #but also the way I acted #and im not in love with her anymore but now I’m struggling to separate the romantic and the platonic #like this is someone I was in love with and saw myself with in the long term and now we live in different cities #and are speaking for the first time in 10 months #and I think a big part of me has forgiven her but it feels silly to have done so #and a part of mw knows that if we had met with the intention to become friends we would’ve been great friends #amd yes we were freinds when we dated of course #but we met with the intention to hook up/date #so it wasn’t platonic from the get go #anyway why am i even upset about this it’s not like I have to see her in person #and I know I don’t owe her my friendship #but still #ugh

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

I hate talking about how men act like online . like we overcorrected man hating feminism so hard that i feel like we gotta just tiptoe around expressing any disdain for the common behaviors that men choose to engage with 😭

#my word choice here is specific #men choose to engage in these behaviors because theyre expected to and benefit from it #I genuinely believe that they can grow away from it and be better people #but they REALLY dont wanna do that #and yes some trans men choose to be misogynists . not immune #if youre not actively fighting against this behavior you can fall into it #like if youre transitioning or passing and going stealth you might overcompensate in some ways #or if you’re not you very easily could weaponize your agab against people while simultaneously playing victim #shrug #im still a man hating feminist btw but i dont think theyre born to act that way #man hating refers to the men who ACT like that #i know men who dont or make an effort to try

[hpdgirlfriend]

i feel bad that i constantly defend my actions idk lke . maybe i really am always the one in the wrong . and i can admit a lot of the things i do are bad and i shouldnt but no one ever gives me grace for anything im always immediately assumed to be acting maliciously and demonized and no one else defends me or considers how i feel so of course i have to defend myself. but i dont know if im just excusing my actions at this point . i dont want to do that

#like i know a lot of things i do are wrong and i can admit fault in them but its usually driven by how someone else acts towards me #and im never treated fairly so maybe i overcompensate in excusing my bad actions to myself #but i dont know. i dont feel like im wrong for reacting the way i do #i dont know. im always going to be seen as evil anyway so i guess it doesnt matter but i still want to be good

[bee-ina-boat]

idk if this is an autistic thing or whatever but oh my god why is writing so HARd? like, im afraid of constantly implying things other than what they mean

"does this sound like im demonizing mental illness?"

"what if this makes it seem like i think the answer to struggling with mental health is suicide?"

"what if this relationship comes off as toxic,"

"does this seem like x character is trying to fix y? what if it reads like x is being manipulated to try and help y?"

"did i accidentally give x a savior complex?"

"does y come off as an abuser just because they did bad things out of desperation? what if giving y a happy ending ends up feeling like abuser sympathizing?"

"how do i make y's character arc without it feeling like they suddenly realized something obvious and were fixed magically"

writing is hard

#ok context #y is being consumed by a godlike power that is overwhelming their mind to the point they have trouble controlling it #its like being stuck in perpetual overstimulation with frequent meltdowns and since they have god powers that can cause alot of damage #x was friends with y but then shit happens and x decides they want y to go away but y doesnt know how to handle that and instead lashes out #blah blah blah they seperate and plot happens #everyone just thinks y is a brat throwing tantrums for not getting what they want but then x realizes the truth thru some magic shit #more plot #x ends up saving y from losing themselves in the confusing hellscape of their mind #x wants to help y heal but thats hard because no one can fix y's mind they just have to work through it. the end #originally the ending was gonna be x takes away all of y's pain and then y decides they want to reincarnate to get another chance at a life #buut 1. that may be a bad message and 2. i dont want to get rid of this character because i love them and i want them to have a healing arc #but i also dont want it to seem like x has a savior complex and is gonna magically fix y #and also y literally had a bad codependency with x before their friendship got ruined and i feel like this would be bad too? #so i THINK im gonna go for an outcome where x does what they can but still keeps boundaries and encorages y to help themselves more #and y will make more friends and learn how to exist without being in mental anguish all the time #idk maybe some other characters will help and come up with a solution so y doesnt have to deal with chaos in their brain all the time #but anyway do yall UNDERSTAND??? #I FEEL LIKE IM OVERCOMPENSATING AND NOT COMPENSATING ENOUGH AT THE SAME TIME #HOW DO I WRITE NATURALLY AND NOT BE AFRAID OF MISCOMUNICATION #FUCK #.txt #autism #actuallyautistic

[cutemeat]

i rlly truly hate feeling so useless. i just. am. but i dont want to accept it.

#i need to. i mean look. dennis couldnt accept it n it made him miserable #i hav no energy even 4 sunny this is. bad jknfdkjgntr #i am having . a rough week #i keep overcompensating n trying to sound smart cuz i know im not. i could not graduate from public HS. i know im not smart. #i could never get into college. would not even pass a class. i just. am not. smart. but i wish i was. i try to sound like a smart person. #but its all cuz i know im not #i cannot. do anything. but ppl look at me n they say 'ok u are capable :)' n then i still cannot do much. but i LOOK like i can. #it doesnt matter how many times i prove im a failure. they still say well u just are not trying hard enough. keep going. #but its never enough. n i dont know how to be enough. idk what i am good for. #i just dont 'apply myself' . i feel so fucking awful. i hate it i cannot do this shit. but i have to. i am so tired i want to go home. #how do u apply yrself when there is nothing to apply #but theres not anything wrong with me. so its just me. n i cant . i . feel like a robot every day. nothing in me. nothing. #but ppl look at me n know i must serve some function or purpose right? so just keep going. keep going #i feel Plateau lately #i try to apply myself but it never works. tell me why it never works. tell me why. am i rlly just a lazy piece of shit. i guess so. #n i cant be pleasant abt it when ppl try to help i only make it worse #cuz no one seems to be able to find an explanation otherwise. in 20 yrs if there was one they wouldve found it by now right

[dirt-str1der]

I literally cannot get enough of kiryu following sayama around like a little dog because she can arrest him proper whenever she wants and hes just like okay (worried about her because she seems insane and that means hes very interested in her)

#Yakuza liveplay #i literally dont care about the plot i just care that she can kick the shit out of people #like i bet the hell to you that sayama is selfish enough to make a move on kiryu that she really shouldnt have and kiryu is down bad enough #to let her do whatever the fuck she wants to him. NOOOOOOO THEYBJUST TERMINATED HER PROTECTIVE CUSTODY OVER KIRYU #NOW HE DOESNT HAVE TO FOLLOW HER AROUND ANYMORE ...?? ..?.???? #im obsessed eith them because she. HSE JUST LEFT HIM BEHIND. GIRL SHOULDNT YOU BE watchimg him ??? #anyway im obsessed with them because sayama is obviously attracted to kiryu and overcompensates by acting haughty and snappish with him and #kiryu genuinely cares about her because shes crazy and its in his nature to look out for people #so you get her pointing a gun at him in one scene and having her back to him in the next because she Knows hes not going to attack her or #anything like that but she still wields her power over him flagrantly just to remind both of them whos in charge ... and kiryu lets it #happen !! because hes not going to rock the boat he needs to give her some time to get used to his presence. let her know that hes there to #help ... so he backs her up at every turn. follows her around closes the doors that sayama opens .. making it all easy for her #like you can see when theyre subconsciously working as a team and it pleases me very much #he fucking likes her ..?? like these two have literally been in battle together kiryu and sayama share a bond that hes never shared with #another woman before thats why what they had was so fucking special shes the only girl who ever spoke his language ??? #AND THEY RETCONNED HER OUT .... like fuck my entire life what the hell were they thinking ....!!!!!!!

[paeonie-s]

sonny boy ep 1 final scene my beloved

#blew my sleep deprived mind the first time i saw it its so good #also rewatching the show w the. complete perspective of a hs senior disappointed in myself for not doing more w my time in hs but also #my administration and some of my classmates for making it even harder to do anything personally meaningful im enjoying it more :) #i love sonny boy bc i feel the actual themes are v obvious and simple (transition to adulthood + isolation + finding a purpose/meaning) #which rly helps w allowing so many contradictory and unique experiences w these themes to shine through in each ch !! but it def has #some v uh. like pretentious ig writing if your not willing to commit and connect to the shit thats being presented to you yk? #but its also v chill abt it in a way so even if you dont connect w some points/think their cringe theres still other chs/eps i think ppl can #connect to really strongly !! #ANYWAYS. watch the first ep of sonny boy you might like it might hate it but the. shapes. so good #🌸.txt #i used the wrong there earlier -_-. neverending nightmare #ALSO must mention love love love how the ultimate msg the show is trying to send it that the people you know will do things and pursue paths #you cannot even fathom or understand or ever see yourself achieving #but you ultimately gotta let that go and focus on doing whatever you can to continue living for yourself and your future happiness #i think im a v jealous person and so ive overcompensated alot for the the very few strengths i think i have and now im coming to realize #that i really just need to be grateful for what ive done without comparing these achievements to anyone elses

[love-killed-the-superstar]

i need more of jiro in tlr2 because i think it would be good for uno to have a role model to show him how uncool it is to constantly pick on your brother

#he seemed to really want the approval of commander avallone so if he looks up to jiro in a similar way... i think it would be good for him #because clearly april casey-marie and moja telling him to stop has done nothing for at least 13 years lmao and he needs to be TOLD #now im not saying uno doesnt respect women. he has been raised in a matriarchal household so i don't think that's it #i do wonder if he feels the need to overcompensate because odyn is much bigger and stronger than him by showing aggression #he already knows moja would throw hands with him if he tries anything but he still has the height edge over her #and i'm sure yi has pulled a rise!don and accidentally invented a shock collar before so he knows not to fuck with her either #but odyn is just so sweet and kind and gentle and unbothered by any and all criticism and i think that really gets under uno's skin #i do wonder if turtle biology would make him act out more towards his brother than his sisters but i'd need to look into that some more... #anyway if jiro becomes a beloved family friend who is like 'hey kid fat-shaming your brother doesn't make you a man it makes you a jerk' #i dunno maybe just hearing it from someone outside of the family would help. he did seem embarrassed when tinker 2 found out lol #MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF HIM PLEASE!! #hopefully he's grown out of bullying his brother by tlr2 but i kinda doubt it since that's one of his most interesting character flaws #+ if they ARE going the route of making uno the leader having a leader who also moonlights as a bully is an interesting subversion to leo..

[hoodhinata]

UGH WHERE DOES THE FALSE PROJECTION END AND THE TRUE SELF BEGIN???

#anytime someone says they like me in my mind im immediately like “no you dont you like the mask ive put on to appear likeable” #but ive been wearing this mask soo much that.. is it just my face now? has it stitched itself to my skin???? #who are the people i feel most myself with? and why do i still feel incomplete #even though i feel like i am more myself than ever with them!!!! #my bf told me he loved me and its like... do you love ME or the me ive presented to you? #ugh ive always been such a ppl pleaser and based my entire identity around other ppl and what they think of me for so long #that i dont think i ever developed a true self???? #and if that true self were to develop #i always get the feeling that it would be like... so.. devoid. like the worst debby downer youve ever know #so i feel as though i overcompensate for who i MIGHT be by becoming everyones favorite person. like clay #and its worked!!! my friends love me! my bf loves me! but like.. is this manipulation??? getting them to love this false self? #doing things ONLY because i know it would fit their idea of me and they would like it? #hmmm... much 2 ponder...