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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 3 months

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By: Colin Wright

Published: Feb 6, 2024

This morning, The Free Press published a testimony from yet another gender medicine whistleblower, Tamara Pietzke, who described the medical malpractice she witnessed firsthand at a MultiCare hospital in Washington state. Although observing the harsh realities and ethical concerns posed by gender ideology for the past five years has somewhat callused my emotions on this issue, reading Pietzke’s personal account was utterly shocking.

Pietzke shares stories of three patients that led her to question the ethics of “gender-affirming care” for minors expressing distress over their “gender.”

The first case involved a 13-year-old girl with a profoundly troubling history, described by Pietzke as “one of the most extreme and heartbreaking life stories I’ve ever heard.” The girl suffered from a history of severe abuse by her mother, multiple sexual assaults, and was diagnosed with “depression, PTSD, anxiety, intermittent explosive disorder, and autism.” During their initial meeting, the girl showed Pietzke “extremely sadistic and graphic pornographic videos on her phone.” She also explained her tendency to mentally “age regress” to that of a little girl and watch Teletubbies while “sucking on pacifiers.” She had also been expelled from school for threatening to blow it up. Despite all this, the girl’s guardian sought a recommendation letter from Pietzke for the girl to start testosterone treatment.

After expressing her serious concerns about the advisability of medically transitioning this mentally distressed girl, Pietzke’s program manager insisted that her traumatic history should not prevent her from beginning her hormonal transition. Subsequently, the girl was quickly transferred from Pietzke’s care to a new “gender-affirming” therapist.

Another case involved a troubled 16-year-old girl, recently identifying with “they/he” pronouns and seeking testosterone. Three years later, she claimed to have a “xenogender,” identifying as a “wounded male dog.” Pietzke’s colleagues suggested this wasn’t anything to be concerned about.

The last patient, a female who transitioned at 17, sought relief for her Tourette syndrome, depression, anxiety, and gender dysphoria. Despite now having facial hair and a permanently deepened voice, her mental health issues remain.

It is obvious to most of us what an abhorrent medical scandal all of this is. These children have severe mental issues likely resulting from extreme childhood traumas, yet because they have uttered the word “gender,” all of their problems are suddenly attributed to a singular cause—gender dysphoria. And the only proposed solution is to permanently alter their healthy bodies with hormones and surgeries.

While all of this is unequivocally insane, Pietzke recounts a moment that both resonated with and enraged me. After encountering “gender-affirming care” in practice, she grew concerned. Being the diligent healthcare worker that she is, Pietzke sought to expand her knowledge on the subject by researching gender-affirming care online. Like any honest truth-seeker on this topic, she was “horrified” by what she discovered.

She learned that puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones are not FDA-approved for treating gender dysphoria and learned about their numerous side effects. She learned about the absence of good evidence supporting the psychological benefits of hormone treatments. She learned of the link between gender dysphoria and factors such as autism, mental health issues, trauma, and abuse. She learned that gender dysphoria is influenced by social contagion. She also learned about European countries that have either banned or imposed restrictions on medical transitions for minors after conducting systematic reviews of the evidence.

Confronted with these startling findings, Pietzke decided to raise a question during a mandatory online training session on gender-affirming care.

When the leader of the training brought up hormone treatments, I shakily tapped the unmute button on Zoom and asked why 70 to 80 percent of female adolescents diagnosed with gender dysphoria have prior mental health diagnoses. She flashed a look of disgust as she warned me against spreading “misinformation on trans kids.” Soon the chat box started blowing up with comments directed at me. One colleague stated it was not “appropriate to bring politics into this” and another wrote that I was “demonstrating a hostility toward trans folks which is [a] direct violation of the Hippocratic Oath,” and recommended I “seek additional support and information so as not to harm trans clients.” As soon as I closed my laptop, I burst into tears. I care so deeply about my clients that even thinking about this now makes me cry. I couldn’t understand how my colleagues, who are supposed to be my teammates, could be so quick to villainize me. I also wondered if maybe my colleagues were right, and if I had gone insane. [my emphasis]

This resonated deeply with me because it mirrored the treatment I received from most of my former friends, colleagues, and acquaintances when I began to ask very calm and clear questions about the “sex spectrum” and other concepts related to gender ideology that made no sense to me. Before I ever wrote publicly on this topic, I privately tormented over it for nearly two years, very seriously questioning whether I had lost my mind.

I’ve known people who had episodes where they’d burst into fits of rage and shout venomous insults at friends and family. But the next day, when confronted about those outbursts, appear confused and deny any recollection of their actions. Was I now that person? Was I having similar psychotic outbursts followed by amnesia? I asked myself these questions earnestly, because only something like that seemed to have the power to explain the negative treatment I was suddenly receiving from those around me. I couldn’t rule out my own insanity, and Occam’s Razor seemed to suggest that it was much more likely that I was the sole crazy one instead of everyone else.

It took considerable time for me to convince myself I was totally sane, but I thankfully got there.

The most profoundly sinister aspect of this cult ideology, aside from the practice of “gender-affirming care” itself, is its ability to drive even the most rational and principled among us to the mental brink of questioning our own sanity. It will require more whistleblowers like Tamara Pietzke and Jamie Reed to jolt people’s consciences awake, but fortunately, once someone confronts the reality of gender ideology honestly, they cannot turn away.

That’s because we’re the sane ones.

#Colin Wright #gender ideology #queer theory #gender affirming care #gender affirming healthcare #gender affirmation #medical malpractice #medical corruption #medical transition #we're the sane ones #religion is a mental illness

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riftwalker-limbro · 1 year

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as someone who finds the concept of age as a hierarchy IRL interesting ("i'm the elder sibling, you should listen to me", "respect your elders"), a game like warframe REALLY fucks with my perception of how-things-should-be

because you have

trauma child whose physical age is somewhere between child & late teenager (citation Needed) but who is actually >1000 years old but who has perhaps spent a single percent of those awake. fan theory has these kids as no longer aging physically due to sat-too-long-in-my-cryopod-syndrome

trauma adults(?) who were physically transformed into the ideal soldier. do they age? do they eat? do they sleep? did they go into a similar 1000 year old cryosleep? (my canon says yes but depending on the frame & headcanons you go with your mileage may vary outRAGEOUSLY, including but definitely not limited to alive for a while -> cryosleep for a bit -> literally dead and in pieces -> reassembled????)

some people who are entirely unaccounted for for those full 1000 years. were they awake? hanging out somewhere? also in some kind of slumber?

drifters.

and like, 3 being in charge of 1 is reasonable. before the Millenium of Fuckery, they were already adults. now, they are like. super adults. them being responsible makes sense.

but somehow, all (of my) first-instinct interpretations of the relationship between group 2 and 1 places 1 in charge of 2. this feels super wrong bc they are children.

so i've been contemplating the finer details of this for my canon. and they are as follows.

tenno had the mental maturity of children/late teens when the zariman oopsie happened. i'm hc'ing my kelth at like 17 to still be below the MITW's seemingly arbitrary Going Murderously Nuts limit but i have certain skills i want them to have before the jump (coding, you'll find out).

then, due to all the cryosleep business, their bodies get frozen that way. they get fucked up beyond repair biologically. are they now functionally immortal? i think that would be a fantastic horror cherry on warframe's trauma sundae.

but what's their mental state like? their adolescent brains frozen like that? imagine being a permanent teenager. the idiot hormones. and at the same time, they're going through all the horrors of war, being manipulated by almost all adults in their life (margulis is on thin fucking ice) for one purpose or another. did they know their life was hanging on by a jurisdictional thread until it was discovered they alone could reliably control warframes? wouldn't that have fucked with their mental state horribly? but at the same time, they must've been somewhat distanced from it - they went through so many battles but through piloting the body of another, it was never their own neck on the line, or the necks of the other tenno, not directly.

i think tenno must be mentally mature in some ways, like Horrors of War, but absolutely not in others, like emotional. they could have great strategic capabilities, but processing a small slight would happen with out-of-proportion swearing of vengeance and very little rationality. they are masters of combat, but not of their own mental state.

let's briefly discuss warframes before combining these thoughts. there is an absolute wealth on 1. different frames with different canon backstories both before & after the helminth 2. absolutely fantastic headcanons. so a few differences here are:

original role: part of one of the soldier castes, someone else somehow in direct service to the Orokin Empire, or common public?

intent: did not want to become a warframe but was forced, did want to become a frame, was completely tricked into becoming a warframe without even making their opinion known, and Oops (e.g. my vince)

as you can see, breeding grounds for a variety of mental states here, but i've never really heard of a child warframe - did we finally find the limits of orokin cruelty? - so for this post i'm assuming they were all adults pre-warframification

so you have a tenno, who is emotionally still a child but due to exactly that + their expertise in decidedly unchildlike things such as the art of war they can act like the most seasoned veteran. and you have warframes, who likely were used to following higher-ups' orders, who maybe never even see their Operator in the flesh.

when i put it like this, i am happy, because that way, it makes sense to me that warframes would obey tenno as they generally do. i am mentally putting umbra in the "yeah this does not apply to you, have a biscuit & some tea" corner, but only because he's the only sentient frame in canon and i personally disagree with that. the problem, for me, arises like. post-second-dream. sentient warframe suddenly realizes they've been taking directions from a child for so long.

worse, sentient warframe realizes they've allowed a child to bear the burden of their own pain and trauma for so long. a warrior and wise for their years, but still a child.

my own thoughts kind of run out here. but i will be rotating this more.

#when i add a keep reading you know this thing's gonna be at least as tall as your screen #warframe #rift lore #rift noises

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existingforonlyyou · 1 year

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Sex headcanons – Justin Law

Okay, these are less headcanons and just the way I write him.

Justin is heterosexual. (My yaoi fan girl side says he’s a homophobic homosexual, but my staunch canon side says he’s heterosexual.)

Harbors genuine misogyny mostly in the form of a boilerplate “women are weak”.

Actually just confused by women. This boy doesn’t have proper interactions with anyone girls that prolly don’t involve saving them, fighting against them, or occasionally entertaining the professional small-talk with Marie or Azusa, I guess.

Dies too young to be a proper incel

Repressed a lot of his lust in order to efficiently carry out his role as Death Scythe

This boy is in a ecchi-coded animanga without ever experiencing any ecchi moments. Like, I want to see Justin pick up a pair of panties, lament about the demons of lust that hold sway over man, guillotine the underwear, and go on his merry way praying loudly to the heavens.

THINKS HE IS ABOVE SEXUAL URGES. Blair could sashay down the street in a micro-bikini and Justin would just calmly listen to his music while every other dude in the vicinity bursts into volcanic nosebleeds

Generally just has a detached relationship with his own sexuality and views his own sexual urges through a practical lens. He understands that he’s a teenage boy with teenage hormones and doesn’t begrudge himself from relieving his pent-up desires. There’s little emotion involved with the whole process, however.

Prefers masturbating because it feeds into his isolationist tendencies

Wants to cuddle others but does not enjoy being cuddled

Genuinely muscular body but also lanky AF. Probably feels very insecure about his own body. There are bros sporting six-packs and chiseled biceps and Justin is all here like a spindly beanpole.

Average-sized dick

Still kisses with saliva

Canonically dies a virgin, FIGHT ME BRO

Madness!Justin

His latent sadistic side becomes prominent

Enjoys humiliating and brutalizing

Hair-pulling

Will hit a woman with his little 17-year-old fist. Repeatedly.

Still kisses with saliva

In a madness-induced state, Justin would rape out of lust

AU where a Death Scythe!Justin actually has sex (but not romance) before the clown latches onto his soul

His latent sadistic side still comes out in a soft but persistent teasing.

Really enjoys eating pussy. Basically, Justin enjoys the female body because he’s been unable to have it for so long since women are temptation blah blah

Wouldn’t say no to getting a blowjob, but is uncomfortable with his own dick size so he’d be too nervous to really enjoy it

Favorite positions include missionary (gasp) and cowgirl

Is a non-believer of condoms

Is a patient, generous lover

Puts his partner’s needs in front of his own. He really wants to make his girl orgasm and is proud when he does so.

Still kisses with saliva

STILL CONFUSED BY WOMEN but sort of understands them? They like makeup and shoes and flowers, right?? Justin just pays for things with his Death Scythe salary and thinks he’s the best boyfriend

#characterization notes #justin law #soul eater #cw: misogyny?#it's justin freaking law you know what you're getting yourself into

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prapttichauhan · 2 years

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Hypertension During Pregnancy: The Complete Guide To For 2022

We know that for you being a mother is an amazing feeling. With every passing day, you feel excited about the growing baby in your womb. Well! This excitement comes with a lot of physical and emotional challenges. One of the challenges is high blood pressure or hypertension during pregnancy.

What is Hypertension in Pregnancy?

Your heart pumps the blood through the arteries to the rest of your body. In fact, the blood flows at a certain speed. But due to the fluctuating pregnancy hormones, the blood flow might get disrupted. It can also cause an increase or decrease in the blood pressure level. Hypertension in your pregnancy is when blood flows through the artery at high speed. 1 in every 12 to 17 of you between the ages of 20 to 44, suffers from gestational hypertension.

What Are the Causes of Pregnancy Hypertension?

Conditions like:

being plus size,

pregnant first-time ,

family history of pregnancy hypertension,

carrying more than one child, or

if you’re over 35 years old are some of the possible causes of high blood pressure in pregnancy.

What Are the Types of Blood Pressure During Pregnancy?

There are mainly four categories of hypertensive disorders during pregnancy:

Chronic Hypertension

This is the kind of blood pressure present before your pregnancy. This also occurs before the 20 weeks of your pregnancy. This may increase the risk of preeclampsia during your pregnancy. Especially in your second or third trimester. Your doctor may immediately put you on medication.

#hypertension during pregnancy #hypertension in pregnancy

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runnin-out-oftime · 4 years

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Almost cries from projecting so hard onto Link Legendofzelda....

#he is j ust... a little boy...#with adhd and/or autism... obvs...#maybe even trans....#and he has Too Much responsibility that he Never asked for...#and he kind of has to figure out a lot on his own #and process a lot of trauma and world shattering stuff all on his own...#like... like in oot #how TF do you deal with waking up one day only to find out that it's 7 years later #only to find that you basically failed your mission and that the world you knew and loved #is destroyed under the hand of a tyrannical ruler #and that you have grown up and aged to an adult #after being under the impression your entire life that you were of a species that DOESNT grow up #and then promptly be told that your entire life is a lie #and that youre not even really who you thought you were #all with the mind of a 10 year old #in the hormonal and emotional body of a 17 year old #that's soooo much responsibility and trauma and grief to unpack #and he has no time and so little help #it just. it makes me very sad tbh #i want to hug him and tell him that everything will be okay someday

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pascalpanic · 3 years

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Cigarette Daydreams

Pairings: young Javier Peña x young f!reader

Inspiration: Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant

Summary: Javier drives all night in the rain, wondering what went wrong and where. How he lost you, the one woman he’d ever loved.

W/C: 5.4k

Warnings: language, talk of death, lots of talk of sexual content but nothing explicit, lots of angst, emotions are running high here, talk of poor mental health. this handles some heavy topics so please be warned. set in the 60s so there’s a really brief mention of being drafted.

A/N: So this is a song I like but it’s really emotional, as is this fic. I just wanted to explore what Javier would’ve been like when he was young. It’s not necessarily all in chronological order but I kind of think it makes sense... let me know if it doesn’t. thank you to all my friends/beta readers who helped me with this one, like @leonieb, @feelingmadclever, @theteddylupinexperience, and a bunch of others :)

Javier smoked his first cigarette with you. It would become a lifelong addiction: the cigarettes, that is. You, on the other hand, were a yearning he could never satisfy. An addiction is something you can feed; you can dull it by giving it exactly what it wants. Javier wanted you, still wants you desperately. The difference is that he cannot have you.

It’s been years since he last saw you. Since he last heard your enchanting laugh, smelled the warm scent of your hair product as he kissed the top of your head. He thinks about you all the goddamn time. What life would be like now if you hadn’t gone your own way. He misses you like hell, but he’s sure you’re off and married and conquering the world in your own way. He’s never tried to find out. He’s too scared it’s true.

Laredo was more of the place you told people you hailed from. The name was recognizable, easily: oh, you’re from the place where A&M’s other campus is located? Exactly, you’d respond, and it was much less of a hassle. In reality, you and Javier both grew up in a small community out in the farmlands near Laredo.

You’d grown up with him. Everyone in the town knew you, and they knew Javi equally as well. He was an interest of your community: from the day you took those standardized tests in second grade, everyone knew that Peñita was going places, but his temper held him back. His emotions consumed him.

He was blonde as a baby; you’d seen in photos, scattered around Chucho’s house. His hair gradually grew darker as he grew older, and your classmates all teased him. You didn’t remember a time where his hair was lighter than a dark blonde, being a child yourself. But it was an evolution that matched him, you had come to realize in your adult years.

Not only was he smart, he was a born athlete. Javier was always a bit smaller than the other boys, but damn was he quick. He could run and run and no one could match him. That’s what made him so successful in early football training. From the start, Chucho enrolled him in football, despite Alejandra’s weak protests. She gave in when she saw her baby in a helmet and massive shoulder pads, grinning at her with one front tooth.

You and Javier were not in the same circles as children. He played with the boys on the field, always the running back when they played football or the offense when they played soccer. He had a temper, though. If there was ever a scuffle on the soccer pitch, you could bet Javier was one of the fighters. You, on the other hand, sat in the shade of the elementary school building, reading book after book.

His mother was beautiful. She had long dark hair that smelled of something exotic and warm, and she had a smile with a dimple in one cheek. She brought treats to your class on his birthday, which was in November. She read books to your class on her assigned story days, Javier cuddled into her side. He adored her.

Alejandra Peña died when you were in sixth grade. You can remember the way the class was silent the next morning, Javier’s desk empty. You nearly threw up from the emotion when you heard that she was gone. Your eyes blurred with tears. The loss was inconceivable to your twelve-year-old brain.

You rode your bike past his house that night. There was a lamp on in the room you knew to be his. His silhouette paced back and forth through the small, second-floor bedroom. You didn’t know what you could do or say, and so you rode off through the neighborhood.

His hair grew even darker after that. What had been a dark blonde became a light brown as middle school progressed. His anger flared up. He would throw punches when the kid acting as referee made a call Javier deemed to be bullshit.

You were something different. Javier found you fascinating the first time you truly interacted, seated together for a class. You were fourteen then, his face just starting to grow a bit of dark hair on his jaw. You were absorbed by your books, hardly talking to anyone and even sneaking it under the table during lectures.

One day, he called your name to catch your attention. You didn’t notice it, lost in your own world. He snatched the book from your hands and slammed it on the table. “Hey. Princesa, we got work to do.”

You frowned. “Give it back, Peñita.”

“Only after we finish this assignment. I don’t want homework tonight.” He stuffed the book in his backpack and tossed you a pencil.

“I won’t do it until you give it back,” you bartered coolly, crossing your arms and sitting back in the chair. “And I have more willpower than you. That’s a fact.”

He glared at you for a moment, the both of you staring the other down. It lasted quite a while, more than you expected. Javier broke first, handing you your book and grumbling over the worksheet.

You became better partners after that. Javier even apologized for it two weeks later. You forgave him, and something about his smile made your heart flutter around in your ribcage.

That started the friendship. You’d walk together in the halls, chatting about your parents and sports and homework for the night. Then middle school became high school and things changed between you, even though nothing you did was different.

Javier had always been a good athlete. He became the first-string running back for the high school, leading them to state his freshman year. When you walked together in the halls now, there was an expectation from the others. Boys and girls only walked together if they were couples, and a star football player was a coveted date.

You’d explained that to him. “Javi, as much as I love you, and you know I do, people are gonna think we’re together. I don’t want you to have to deal with that,” you’d pleaded. “I’d be ruining your chances. I think it’s better if we walk separately now.”

Javier nodded. He had to play along. He couldn’t let you know that in the past few months, he’d begun to feel things for you he’d never felt before. He had dreams about you at night, the kind where he’d wake up to damp sheets. He’d noticed your body changing, and his changed too. He thought about you when he’d lie awake at night, his hand in his boxers. The hormones were beginning to pump through Javier’s blood in a way that may have never really ever stopped.

From then on, you’d walk alone in the hall. Your nose was buried in a book at first, navigating it alone. Then you’d made friends, and you’d talk with people as you slammed your locker shut. You’d give Javier a wave, leading him to be roughhoused by his teammates who took him in as one of their own.

You became different from him. You were known for being an artist and a writer. You embraced the loving spirit of the 60s’ culture and made warm oil paintings of fields and flowers, wrote poetry that won awards, and even wrote a collection of short stories. You weren’t a hippie, but you were artsy. Javi became a bit of a jock.

The pressure grew to be too much in the middle of Javier’s junior season. It was the end of fall. You were both 17. You’d stopped maintaining a friendship now, far from as close as you’d been in the earlier days. You waved at him in the hall and that was it. It changed when the stress of being an athlete pushed on Javier’s brain until it popped. He quit the team, spending his time after school in his bedroom at home. He no longer proudly wore the team’s t-shirts or his letter jacket.

You heard about it through rumors. You didn’t talk to Javier. He kept his head down in the halls now. There were dark circles under his eyes. He’d sit in the library for hours, forcing himself to cram knowledge into his brain. If he wouldn’t be going to college for football now, he figured, he’d better get smart fast.

You’d sat at a table across the library as you worked on your chemistry homework. You glanced up. Javier looked down. He’d been looking at you. You stared at him until he looked up again. “Can I sit with you?” You’d mouthed, and he nodded. A small smile graced his face.

Packing up your textbook and papers, you dragged a chair over. “Hi, Javi,” you said. Your voice was quiet and painfully soft.

He smiles a little. “Hey, princesa.”

It’s quiet for a moment, the both of you staring at your papers and pretending like you were working. You weren’t. “I missed you,” you finally admitted after the silence passed.

His heart skipped a beat. “I missed you too. Probably more than you missed me.”

You shook your head. “I was wrong. I liked walking with you in the halls. I miss that, I miss us,” you admit, your hand resting over his. He looked up at you with the big brown eyes you’ve always loved, and your smile softened. “Your hair is so dark now, Peñita.”

He nodded a little. “It just keeps going. I don’t know if it will ever stop.”

“You’re funny,” you chuckled and retracted your hand. “How have you been? I heard about the football thing.”

He sighed softly. “It was too much. Not me, not anymore. I hated it.”

“Who are you now, then?” You asked quietly.

He looked up at you. “I don’t know.”

You’d smiled. “I can help you find out.”

That’s how your friendship began again.

It wasn’t a friendship for long, not with how you noticed Javier had changed. His hair was that warm, dark, chocolate color, his nose finally fit his face, he’d grown stronger and leaner and taller. He’d acquired a different sense of confidence, a different posture and walk. But it was clear: he was still your Javi. The one who stole your book all those years ago.

You’d grown even more beautiful over your time apart, he noticed. You’d become self assured and confident too and it showed. You had a little mean streak, and Javier loved it more than life itself. He got a little weak at the knees when you’d tease him.

He’d become a social outcast, essentially abandoning his place in the social hierarchy that high schools provide. When you knocked on his door a few days later, Chucho answered, slightly confused. “Hello.”

“Hi,” you said, smiling apologetically. “I’m a friend of Javi’s, I’m here to study with him.”

The older man was a mirror of Javier many years from now. He had a strong nose too, and a worn face. It made lines when he’d smiled. “I didn’t know Javi had many friends anymore.”

You shrugged. “Well, I think you’re right. But… I’m here.”

Javi jogged down the stairs, frowning when he saw his father at the door. You came inside and studied and Javier couldn’t help but to beam at you. Studying wasn’t much of studying. As you’d sidetracked the work and started conversing, Javier leaned in as if he was going to kiss you. You stopped him, but kept his face close. “Not now, Javi. I want it to be perfect. But I do want to kiss you.”

He’d panicked when you’d stopped him, but your words reassured him, and he breathed a chuckle. “Sneak out with me tonight.”

You agreed.

12:30 A.M. rolled around. You pocketed a pack of your dad’s cigarettes and a lighter and rode your bike to the pond nearby.

Javier sat there waiting. He was wrapped in a leather jacket, jeans covering his long legs as he sat by the side of the pond. Crickets chirped and birds called and when he looked at you, your heart fell apart in your chest. It never really glued itself back together. Not even to this day.

You sat next to him, and he put an arm around your shoulders. You couldn’t wait any longer, and you leaned in and kissed him and he was absolutely perfect. His soft lips pressed back against yours, those hands buried themselves in your hair. You broke away a second later and both of you grinned at each other. It was only seconds more before he pulled you in for the second kiss you’d ever had in your life.

That night was not only Javier’s first kiss but the first time he smoked a cigarette. You pulled one thin stick from the pack and placed it between his lips, lighting the end.

He was a natural at it, unlike you, who’d tried before and choked and spluttered on the smoke. You were better at it now, able to handle yourself. He breathed in and out and passed it to you, and he looked so effortlessly cool and sexy and beautiful that you didn’t take a drag, you grabbed his face and kissed him again.

You were so many firsts for Javier. His first kiss, his first cigarette, his first fuck. You’d done it in the back of his truck, on a hot night where you parked in a field far from the town and rolled all of the windows down. You finally got to feel his strong body, got to feel his passion for you as he tugged on your lip with his teeth and pushed inside of you. It was sheer bliss for both of you, even if he never made you orgasm that night.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to figure that out. Javier was a natural, his hands wandering and feeling everything your body had to offer until they found just the right spot to make you cry his name into the hot Texas night. You snuck out with him often, smoked and fucked in his house when Chucho was gone, or by that pond.

You talked a lot after. You were the first he opened up to about his mother. He missed her like hell. He told you that he wanted to work in some kind of law enforcement. He thought drug enforcement might suit him. You opened up about your own trauma to him, and he held you as you cried into his body. He’d kissed your forehead and told you he promised that nothing would ever happen to you when he’s around, and it was completely believable because Javier was like some deity to you. He was strong and warm and loving and kind and beautiful and you thought, truly, that he could do no wrong.

He never betrayed that trust either. Javier was a wonderful boyfriend to you in the daylight hours too. You’d study together, go on bike rides or just drive around in his truck. You spent almost every weekend with him. Chucho adored you too, loved your humor and kindness and most of all, your love for his son. Your family didn’t like Javier much, so you simply avoided your house with him.

Javier was so proud when he first pulled up your driveway in his truck soon after you began again. He worked for the Villafañes down the road as a farmhand, a summertime assistant to the aging man who lived there. He saved his earnings all summer and split the cost with Chucho. He’d had it for 8 months and it had been on the verge of the junkyard the entire time.

It was a piece of shit, and you both knew it. It was a deep red, rusty and broken down. The shocks were terrible and made it bounce like a bull in a ring. It didn’t matter, because it was his.

He’d pick you up in that truck and drive all night. The two of you sang along to the radio, then would talk, then make out in the backseat and drive again. You loved Javier, and you admitted it quickly. He said it immediately after you.

People looked at you like you were crazy when you held Javier’s hands in the hall. Wasn’t he a mental case? Who would give up something like he had, and for no apparent reason? You didn’t give a shit, even if your friends told you Javier was no good. They didn’t know him, didn’t know that his middle name was Fernando and he hated it and that his mother’s favorite gem, ruby, was yours too, that Chucho told you Javi wanted to marry you someday or that Javier loved to nudge your neck with his nose after sex, both of you warm with the hot Texan air flowing through his open windows.

You told them they didn’t get it, and they said you were the one who didn’t. You’ve got everything going for you. Why risk it with the nut job?

Javier remained a pariah, an outcast, but you didn’t give a shit. You called out his name in the hall and waved, sat with him at lunch and laughed until you choked on the terrible school meal. You were loud and affectionate, and it brought Javi back from the fringes of high school society he’d been banished to.

Javier worked in fields and barns to earn money, building his muscles. You worked in customer service, building your restraint. Your town had opened a drive-in restaurant a few years before, complete with roller-skating waitresses. Being a skilled skater, you signed up.

It was fun, but a pain in the ass some days. Customer service was rarely enjoyable.

The highlight of the summer after your junior year was Javier pulling up to the restaurant every few days. “Peñita!” You’d squeal and put in an order for just what he always wanted- strawberry milkshake, double patty cheeseburger, large fries.

“Hey, Princesa,” he’d mumble back with a small smile, leaning in for a kiss. He looked like a Texan James Dean, white t-shirt cuffed and worn jeans. His dark hair was gelled back, though much of it fell loose from his long day of hauling crops for Don Villafañe. This coolness was contrasted by his shitty truck, dust caking the windows, and the fact that he was far from blonde now.

You’d fold your arms over his open window and kiss him, tripping over your skates in your excitement. He’d laugh and tease you, and he’d always give you the cherry off the top of his milkshake. You began telling your coworkers to put two cherries on top, so that he could have one too. He still gave both to you.

During your senior year, Javier gave you his class ring. It was large and bulky on your fingers, thinner than his, but it made you beam with pride as you walked through the halls. You’d cried when he gave it to you, promising he’d replace it with a diamond someday. You knew it would never last that long.

Senior year was uneventful. You went to prom with Javier, wearing a peach colored dress. Javier wore his father’s tuxedo with a tie to match your color. The photo was awkward but sweet, the two of you clearly in love. You graduated equally uneventfully, and the two of you spent the night in his truck, out in a field, promising sweet nothings through the sound of skin slapping skin. “Here’s to the class of ‘66,” Javier murmured into your neck.

You had big dreams, and Javier’s were far different. He planned on attending Texas A&M, not far away. You’d earned a fantastic scholarship at a small liberal arts college in Upstate New York. You both knew these things, but Javier seemed determined to make it work. He knew the two of you loved each other; shouldn’t that be enough?

You felt guilty the entire summer. You had anxiety attacks quite a bit, felt that you were leading Javier on. Then, another part of you thought, he must know. He must not believe you could pull off a long distance relationship with only letters and phone calls.

Javier passed the summer blissfully unaware. He was young and in love: he thought there was nothing that could go wrong. You still spent time together, more than you ever had, in fact. Something gnawed away at your insides as the time passed.

On the rare days neither of you worked, you’d find somewhere deserted and sit with your legs dangling from his tailgate. You’d nick liquor and cigarettes from your parents and share them, laughing and talking. Planning a future you knew wouldn’t come.

The day before you left, you spent the day with your boyfriend. You had a picnic dinner, complete with some stolen beers from Chucho’s refrigerator. You sat on a blanket in a nearby field, watching as the afternoon dwindled down to an orange-hazed sky.

As the sun set, tears formed in your eyes. “Javi?” You asked him softly, your voice cracking.

“What is it, princesa?” He returned, pulling you closer into his side. The tall grass swayed around you, and you bit your lip to stop from choking out a sob.

“I love you, Javier. And I always will.” But as you said the words, your actions said otherwise. You removed your class ring from your finger, placing it in his palm. “But, I think… I think we need to be our own people for a while. Maybe someday we’ll meet again. Maybe things will be different, but I’m going to New York and you’re staying here. Fuck, you could be drafted, and I-“

Javier stopped you, pulling away and looking at you in the face. His eyes showed his heartbreak. “I thought we were gonna get married, be together forever.”

You choked out a sob. “Javi, I want to. I do. But I can’t. I can’t live that kind of life.” You wanted to travel, to do things, to live freely and be whoever you wanted. Javier wanted to stay in Laredo and work in law enforcement. The two weren’t compatible.

“There’s nothing stopping you,” he begged, taking your hand in both of his. “Please, I’d move to New York with you, or you could go to A&M with me, please,” he asked, his eyes welling with tears. “You’re the love of my life, baby.”

You couldn’t look at him. The emotion was too much to bear. “Javier,” you whined and pulled your hand from his. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

His heartbroken stare makes you cry harder into your hands. You stood, ready to find your way to the road and walk home.

Javier caught you by the waist, then removed your hands from your face. “I-I understand. I do. But… kiss me one last time?”

You stared at him, tears staining your face and his cheeks equally damp. You nodded and Javier cupped your face, kissing you slowly and lovingly. It was tender and bittersweet. It was not the way you’d kiss him at the drive-in restaurant or in the back of his truck. It was not the way you’d sneak a kiss goodbye in front of Chucho. It was desperate. You both knew what it meant. Maybe that’s why it lasted so long.

You broke away and pressed your forehead to his before finding the dirt road and beginning the walk home. You needed to finish packing, and was getting dark. You didn’t dare to ask Javier to drive you home. You feared you might change your mind if you were around him a second longer.

Javier never saw you after that. It was partially serendipitous and partially out of effort.

When he returned home on winter break or for Thanksgiving, he contained himself to Chucho’s house, or he’d see one or two friends he still had. That was about it. If he knew you weren’t in town, he’d go out and have a good time. It would all go downhill if you were there, and he knew it, so he resigned himself to long nights with his father.

You wanted to see him again. You drove past his house many times when you were home from New York, seeing the light on in his old room again. Every time, you stopped just a little longer than you should have at the stop sign yards from his house. You contemplated pulling into the driveway and begging him to take you back. It never happened.

Once or twice, you even caught a glimpse of dark-chocolate hair through the front windows of the house. It made your heart stop and your eyes tear up.

You moved out of town when you graduated. You started a career near your college, far from your hometown that was almost considered Laredo. Your wish was fulfilled.

Javier’s was too- well, only partially. He stayed in Laredo. He worked in law enforcement there for a while before he got picked to work with the DEA. It didn’t matter what kind of job he got. He didn’t have you, and that made him miserable.

You’d been the one to save him. Now he didn’t even know if you still had the same last name you did when he slipped his class ring onto your finger, when he murmured your full name and promised one day that he’d get you a gorgeous ruby and diamond band instead of that class ring and he’d change that last name to Peña.

Javier got a new truck recently. It’s nice. The first car he ever bought that wasn’t used, actually. It’s a deep red, the same color of his first car. Ruby, he named it.

He thinks about you all the goddamn time. Nothing could change that, not time or hookups. He sighs as he thinks about the years since you’ve seen him, while he drives around in the pouring rain. Why? How?

He never slept around in college, too lovesick and still hoping you’d call and want to meet with him, would want to rekindle what you’d had.

He forced himself to get moving after that. He had a few girlfriends when he worked for the Webb County Sheriff's Office. He even got serious with one.

Lorraine was beautiful and kind and funny. He loved the way she’d shotgun a beer and then kiss him, her lips tasting of the fermented liquid. She was a good time, a great partier. He asked her out and things went well, he supposed.

She wanted different things from Javier. He’d been starting to grow restless, wanting to leave Laredo. Lorraine, however, wanted to settle down. She wanted the whole thing: a big ranch-style, a fireplace in the living room, four or five babies with Javier’s brown eyes, running around and laughing.

As much as he wanted it, he couldn’t. He nodded along and played the game, telling her that he’d do that for her. He’d provide for her and give her all the kids he wanted. He’d be a good father and a great husband and everything would be good.

It was more to himself that he said those things. He wanted to believe they were true, really, but he had the feeling you’d had years ago. He wanted her, wanted such a calming life, but at the same time, he didn’t want it. He wanted to get out and do things and feared being fenced in.

He proposed to Lorraine. Got her a nice diamond ring and everything. She’d cried and kissed him and he’d forced himself to smile but it wasn’t genuine. At least she didn’t know that.

The wedding was planned. It was going to be a grand affair for the town, nearly everyone invited. Everyone was like family to the members of the town. Lorraine got an expensive, fluffy white dress and Javier bought a tuxedo.

The ceremony was supposed to start at 5:00. Everyone sat patiently as the clock ticked past it. They didn’t know a thing. They didn’t know Lorraine was pacing the church basement, her heart clenched in fear. No one had seen Javier. Not even the groomsmen.

Then it became 5:10, 5:30. At 5:45, Lorraine’s mother began to quietly tell the church that the ceremony wouldn’t be happening today. The disgruntled attendees left, wondering what happened.

Javier had ran. He drove out of Laredo, straight for Dallas. He wanted out. He’d left early in the morning, not even saying goodbye to his father. He was already on a plane to Washington D.C. when the bride realized she was no longer getting married today.

He got a job working for the DEA. They’d offered him one a few months ago, but he’d declined. He wanted to stay in Laredo with Lorraine, he’d bluffed. Things hit the fan when he began training for the new job.

He fucked every woman in sight. He didn’t care who they were: if they wanted him, he wanted them. He never stopped smoking, developed a love and almost dependence on whiskey. When he went to Colombia, he paid for his first ever escort.

It was what he deserved, he told himself. The one woman he’d ever loved left him. He had left the one person who ever gave a shit about him. Ruined her life and left her with a sense of anxiety whenever she was in that church’s basement as she remembered.

He doesn’t deserve attachment. He doesn’t deserve someone caring for him. That’s why he sleeps around. That’s why he’s left so many lovers in the dust.

Stop thinking about that, Javier tells himself. He whips a U-turn, opening the window and hanging a hand out of it. It forces himself to return to reality, to get out of his goddamn head and to not crash this new truck. The rain pelts his skin and he frowns. It never rains around Laredo, and it’s the one night he’s in town.

He pulls into the old drive-in restaurant, thinking back to the happy days. He can still see your baby-faced grin as you skated over to him, long legs pushing you along. He could nearly taste the strawberry milkshake on his tongue. It’s closed for the night, since it’s in the early hours of the morning now.

He jumps as a car pulls into the spot next to him. He looks down, knowing that whoever it is will likely recognize him. Everyone recognizes him around here. He’s not in the mood to talk.

“They’re closed,” a voice calls out from the other car, and Javier’s heart stops. He’d know that voice anywhere, even if it spoke a different language.

He looks up and his eyes meet yours for the first time in twenty years. They’re still just as beautiful, still glimmering. “Peñita,” you breathe out as it clicks in your mind.

He’s aged beautifully. His dark hair is neatly pushed back, though it’s a little shorter than he used to keep it. His face has lines now, heavy from the stress of his job. His eyes look weary and tired.

You get out of your car. Javier does the same. You look at him, standing there, with a new truck that’s the same color of his very first piece of shit pickup. “Nice truck,” you comment.

He smiles softly. “Thanks. It’s new.”

You walk around the front of your car, eyes wide in disbelief. There’s hurt on his face and you know you’re the cause of it. “Javier… I missed you.”

He looks down at you, now standing right in front of him. “I missed you more.”

You throw your arms around him and hug him tight. Your eyes water with tears as you squeeze him, wishing this moment would never end. He hugs you back, those arms still strong and protective.

He presses a soft kiss to your head. He mutters his nickname for you quietly. His voice is different now, huskier and deeper. It’s a beautiful sound. His lips are buried in your hair but you can hear it all the same. “Princesa.”

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic

#javier peña x reader #javier peña #javi peña #javi peña x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #Narcos #narcos fanfic #narcos fanfiction #pedro pascal fanfic

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meowkiima · 2 years

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Late 50 Followers Event Thingy! Offered by @honeydrops-co / serenity! A showcase of my favorite quirk ideas I’ve ever created + The ocs who own them!

Catasthrope

Type: Emitter

This quirk allows its user to transform any emotion they are feeling into a huge force that ‘ruins’ anything it’s contacted to. The user can only release this from their hands, even if it may sound similar to Shigaraki’s there is a difference: It doesn’t just crumbles everything apart but instead, depending on what(or who) it’s used on has a different effect from destroying a floor to fucking up one’s mind

Even if the quirk may seem overpowered the drawbacks make it almost impossible to use safely, as there is no chance of disactivating it and on any palm-contact it activates itself, and the unpredictability of this quirk makes it dangerous to its user too on occasions. On top of that the most major drawback is that users emotions fade away. Not in a ‘depressed and emo uwu’ way but in literal meanings, use by use the user becomes more of a unemphatic and even sociopathic individual

Etsumi Hado(any except she/her) also known as the villain catastrophe is a 19 year old criminal with unknown ties to the hero Nejire-Chan. Not much is known about them except the fact that they harm anyone in his way whether they be a ally or not

(damn this is the longest quirk idea I’ve probably ever made but there is a lot of explaining to do so I can even add more

Love Me!

Type: Emitter

This quirk allows its user to make the their targets brain generate Oxytocin, also known as the hormone of love, to create a love at first sight situation in the target. The user can manipulate the level of oxytocin and can even make someone literally worship them

As drawbacks this quirk pretty much is not offensive in any way as well it doesn’t works on anyone who is not attracted to users gender(ex: since Akechi is a male it doesn’t works on a lesbian. And aro’s are pretty much immune).

Also the effect does not necessarily fade away when quirk is disactivated so user has to deal with a lot of unwanted fans crossing boundaries

Akechi Manno(he/him) a third year at Shiketsu High, known for his flirtatious nature and surprising apatheticy. He appears to have a enjoyment of provoking others and has a weird preference of food.

(honestly the quirk is kinda cliche but I absolutely adore the oc who owns this quirk so it’s in the list)

Starry Night

Type: Idek emitter maybe

This quirk gives It’s user ability to ‘summon’ small shiny orbs which radiates some heat (like mini stars) from their fingertips or any body part in general. The stars can explode whenever the user snaps their fingers. That can also be used to temporarily blind the enemy.

Some of the drawbacks of this quirk is that the user can’t exactly control the explosions(as any star generated explodes whenever they snap fingers) and they leave slight or severe burnt marks where they are summoned

___(undecided name, she/they), a 17 year old hero in training who currently attends to Shiketsu High as a 3rd grade is usually identified by their stubbornness in wearing the uniform the wrong ways and by the fact that she is probably running away from the trouble she caused

(yes in fact most of my ocs are from shiketsu got something to say?)

I have more but I thought adding the top 3 would be enough. May make a part two but prolly won’t <3

#bnha

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 year

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By: Christina Buttons

Published: Feb 17, 2023

A young detransitioned woman is seeking justice from the medical group and hospital that facilitated her medical transition between the ages of 12 to 17, which included puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and a double mastectomy at just 13 years old.

The plaintiff, Layla Jane, is represented by the Dhillon Law Group and LiMandri & Jonna LLP in conjunction with the Center for American Liberty. On Wednesday, a letter of intent to sue was sent to the Permanente Medical Group and Kaiser Foundation Hospitals alleging “gross negligence” on behalf of their client, and accusing Kaiser of allowing “radical, inadequately studied, off-label, and essentially experimental treatment to occur on minors.”

The Intent to Sue further alleges that Layla’s doctors medically “affirmed” her without meaningful evaluation, failed to adequately disclose the health risks associated with puberty blockers and cross-sex hormone treatment, and emotionally manipulated her parents by proposing the false dilemma: “would you rather have a live son, or a dead daughter?”

When Layla was a child, she experienced significant mental health and behavioral challenges. At the age of 11, she started to believe that her unhappiness was due to being "born in the wrong body," which she discovered through online research, and she began identifying as transgender. She was only 12 when she was prescribed puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and was evaluated for surgery. She underwent a double mastectomy to remove her breasts shortly after her 13th birthday. However, Layla eventually came to the realization that she was not, in fact, transgender. She stopped receiving testosterone injections and instead sought proper mental health treatment for her anxiety and mood-related issues.

Layla's transition story bears striking similarities to that of Chloe Cole. Both of them are now 18 years old and are taking legal action against Kaiser Permanente and the doctors who facilitated their chemical and surgical transitions as minors, two of whom they shared.

Layla Jane stated:

Many people have already seen Chloe Cole’s story and the emotional and physical damage she had to go through at the hands of “medical professionals.” I’m ready to announce that these so-called professionals did the exact same thing to me, but at an even younger age. At 12-years-old I began testosterone and puberty blockers and at age 13, I had a double mastectomy. These are decisions I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I’m ready to join the growing group of detransitioners so that no other child has to go through the torment I went through at the hands of doctors I should have been able to trust.

Layla Jane and her lawyer, Harmeet Dhillon, appeared on the Fox News program “The Ingraham Angle” last night to make the announcement. Dhillon stated that she has been contacted by many detransitioners who are seeking justice but, due to the short statute of limitations, she can only represent clients who fall within the specified time period. Experts believe that it may take 5-10 years for young people who have undergone a gender transition to realize that they may have made a mistake.

The Intent to Sue cites a 30-year follow up study conducted in Sweden that found post-operative transgender patients were 19 times more likely to commit suicide as evidence that “gender-affirming care” does not necessarily improve the mental health of recipients. Also cited are 11 studies that found gender dysphoria appears to resolve on its own when children are not socially and medically transitioned between 60-90 percent of the time.

Layla Jane is now the 8th detransitioner worldwide to have brought legal action against the medical providers that facilitated her chemical and surgical transition. She will be seeking punitive damages, the extent of which is currently “being investigated and is not fully known at this time.” The Notice of Intent to Sue will allow the defendants 90 days to respond before an official lawsuit is filed.

A representative from Kaiser responded to a request for comment with the same boilerplate message they gave regarding Cole’s lawsuit, which was to claim that they are following “evidence-based medicine founded on sound research,” despite the fact that no empirical evidence to date supports a biological basis for “gender identity.”

While the exact number of detransitioners is unknown, and more research is needed, cases appear to be steadily rising. A forum created in 2017 for detransitioners on Reddit is adding over 1,000 members a month, and as of this writing has over 45,000 members.

Studies that have shown a small rate of transition regret are frequently used by activists to dismiss or diminish the experience of detransitioners. However, the studies finding that 2 percent or less regret their transition surveyed only adults, not the new cohort that most are concerned about: adolescents.

In the United States, a 2022 study found that 29 percent of 68 patients seeking medical transition care changed their requests for hormone treatment, surgery, or both. Another U.S. study from last year found that 30 percent of patients who began cross-sex hormone treatment discontinued it within four years for unknown reasons. Two smaller studies in the U.K. report that between 7 and 10 percent of patients initially assessed for gender-related medical services later detransitioned.

Layla Jane’s allegations of medical negligence and emotional manipulation by her doctors underscore the importance of meaningful evaluation, informed consent, and comprehensive mental health support for children who believe they are experiencing gender dysphoria.

When they won't listen to reason, maybe they'll listen to their bottom line.

#Christina Buttons #Layla Jane #detrans #detransition #gender ideology #genderwang #queer theory #medical malpractice #medical scandal #double mastectomy #puberty blockers #wrong sex hormones #cross sex hormones #medical transition #medical corruption #that never happens #things that never happened #this never happens #religion is a mental illness

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suituuup · 3 years

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pieces - chapter twelve

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

Chloe was surprised to hear music drifting through the apartment when she got home from her late-afternoon NA meeting that Thursday evening.

It had been four days since they had come back from Oregon, and Beca had spent most of her time at the label, often coming home after Chloe was down for the night and leaving before she was up. She always left a note and texted Chloe throughout the day to check on her, but Chloe could tell something was off.

She rounded the corner to find Beca cooking at the stove, and smiled. “Hi.”

“Hey you,” Beca greeted with a matching smile. “You hungry? Making a stir-fry.”

“Starving. This baby is making me eat for three,” Chloe mumbled as she walked past Beca to pluck a bottle of sparkling water from the fridge. She uncapped it and took a sip, leaning against the counter. “Are you alright? I couldn’t help but notice you’ve seemed off since we got back.”

Beca nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I uh,” she cleared her throat as she reached for two plates in the cupboard over her head. “I broke up with Sarah the other night.”

Chloe’s eyes popped wider in shock. “Oh.”

Beca set both plates on the island, then opened the cutlery drawer. “Yeah… and I kinda threw myself into work, because that’s what I do to cope with my emotions.” She grimaced again, meeting Chloe’s eyes. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much.”

Chloe shook her head. “No, no, it’s okay. I’m sorry, Bec.” She wondered what the reason for the break-up was, but she doubted Beca wanted to get into that. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Thanks. Yeah. It’s, um, life, right?” She shrugged a little as she turned off the stove. “We just weren’t looking for the same thing.”

Chloe nodded slowly, then pushed off the counter. “Okay. I’m here if you wanna talk, alright?” She hitched her thumb over her shoulder. “I’m just going to freshen up, I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

Beca had scooped food into each plate and poured water into two glasses when she got back clad in comfier clothes, and Chloe perched herself on the stool across from Beca.

“Thanks for making dinner,” she murmured as she dug in.

“No problem. Did your NA meeting go okay?” Beca asked as she stabbed a couple of vegetables with her fork.

Chloe chewed and swallowed, then took a sip of her water. “Yeah, it went fine. My sponsor is amazing. We’re meeting for coffee tomorrow morning. Well, tea for me.” Decaf just wasn’t the same.

“Cool.” Beca smiled. “I was thinking we could get a start on the nursery soon? Have you thought of a color for the walls?”

“You wanna paint the walls?” Chloe asked in surprise. “We don’t have to do that, you know. I don’t want you to be stuck with a nursery-looking room once Bean and I move out.”

Beca shrugged. “I have another guest room, and I kinda want Bean to have their own room whenever you guys come to visit.”

Chloe’s heart swelled against her ribs. She wasn’t sure what she had done to deserve someone like Beca back in her life, but she wasn’t going to screw it up this time around. And she had thought about what she wanted Bean’s nursery to look like, but didn’t allow herself to daydream about it until now. “I like those beige walls the way they are, but I was thinking of a woodland theme? Something gender-neutral, for sure. A few animal frames, maybe an animal mobile above the crib?”

“That sounds nice,” Beca said, smiling. “Are you going to find out the sex at your next appointment?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“That’s the 26th at 3, right?” Beca asked, surprising Chloe once more. Upon catching her look, Beca added, “I wrote it down in my planner.”

It was one thing to have written down, another to remember it off the bat like that, but Chloe didn’t even know why she was surprised. Beca had been nothing short of amazing since Chloe decided to keep the baby, between keeping track of the baby’s growth on her app or making sure to pick up ginger ale every time she went grocery shopping.

“Oh. Yeah, the 26th at 3.”

As Chloe further settled into her second trimester, her constant exhaustion gradually faded away. She felt more energized from the start of her fifteenth week, which felt like a breath of fresh air. As her OBGYN saw nothing against it, she started each day with a morning fitness walk followed by a yoga session, then settled down to have some breakfast as she read her book. After lunch, she either had a therapy session or an NA meeting, except for Wednesdays and over the weekend.

The cravings were still there, sitting somewhere at the back of her mind, but she continued pushing through, for the baby’s sake first and foremost, but also because she didn’t want to disappoint her support system and risk losing them forever if she did fall back into old habits. The taunting was strong, every time she walked in front of the liquor store or a familiar street corner where she would get the good stuff, but she resisted, and never hesitated to call Aubrey or her parents when her resolve wobbled a bit too much for her liking.

“Shit,” Chloe muttered as she tried buttoning her pants up, her more than noticeable belly getting in the way. She had just reached 17 weeks, and her bump seemed to have popped a little more overnight. So had her boobs. She could also start to feel some movement going on in there, which was absolutely mind-blowing.

Not ready to accept defeat yet, Chloe grunted at the effort of bringing these two stupid pieces of fabric closer together, exhaling with a sigh when they didn’t budge.

“Chlo?” Beca called out, a knock on Chloe’s bedroom door following. “We should get going.”

“I know, I just-- can’t get my pants to button,” Chloe muttered with a huff.

A pause. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah.”

The door was pushed open, and Beca appeared, leaning against the frame.

She Beca looked amused, causing Chloe to glare at her. “Maybe wear a dress?”

Chloe’s nose wrinkled. “I only have stripper dresses.” That she should definitely donate, or get rid of.

Beca hummed. “Mesh shorts?”

“I guess, yeah.”

“We can go buy some stuff after your appointment if you want?” Beca suggested as Chloe wrestled out of her jeans and slid on a pair of shorts Beca lent her.

“Yeah, definitely.” She needed bras, too. “Okay, I’m ready.”

As her last ultrasound at 13 weeks, Chloe didn’t have to change when they got there, and she laid down on the cot as they waited for the tech to come in. Beca stood by her side, scrolling through her phone.

“So the Bellas’ results are in: 6 say boy, 4 say girl. I said girl.”

Chloe had broken the news to the girls when they came back from Oregon and had once again received nothing but support. Bets started coming in over the gender, the due date, and whether Bean was going to come out with ginger hair.

Chloe chuckled as she rubbed her bump with her palm. “You only said girl because I told you I felt like it was a girl.”

Beca smirked. “They don’t have to know that.” Her expression softened as she pocketed her phone. “You excited to find out?”

“Yeah,” Chloe breathed out. She was more anxious to hear about how Bean was doing and braced herself for bad news.

“Hi there,” the tech greeted as she came in. “How are you doing, Chloe?”

“Good. Hungry all the time.”

The other woman laughed as she rolled the ultrasound machine closer. “Let’s take a look at that baby. Can you lift your top up for me and lower your shorts a little bit?”

Chloe did so, reaching for Beca’s hand as the tech squirted some of that cold gel onto her tummy.

“Alright, let’s see…” the woman drawled out as she moved the wand until she got the perspective she wanted. “Here we go.”

“Oh, they got so big,” Chloe murmured in awe.

“They’re moving around quite a bit,” the tech observed with a smile, pointing at the baby’s kicking legs.

Beca gasped and tore her eyes away from the screen to glance at Chloe. “Can you feel that?”

“Yeah,” Chloe confirmed, blinking back the tears pricking behind her eyes. “Feels like butterflies taking off in my belly.”

“Strong heartbeat,” the tech continued. “Baby’s in the perfect position to tell their gender if you want to know?”

“Yes, please,” Chloe said with a nod.

“Looks like you’re having a baby girl, Chloe.”

“A girl?” Chloe croaked out, a lump rising to her throat. The gender didn’t matter to her but knowing made it feel a thousand percent more real. She felt a squeeze to her hand and found Beca smiling down at her. “We’re in trouble. I was a handful as a kid.”

Beca chuckled. “If she has your eyes, I definitely am in trouble. Won’t be able to say no to anything she asks for, I’m warning you now.”

The way they talked, it almost sounded like they were going to raise Bean together, and Chloe’s heart did another funny thing. Over the last couple of weeks, she had been experiencing weird feelings for Beca that went beyond the friendship line, but she was convinced it was just her hormones acting up like they did with her libido. Chloe felt aroused pretty much all the time, it was getting ridiculous. She also cried in front of a Budweiser commercial because the puppies were cute, so her body and emotions were definitely out of whack.

The doctor came in shortly after, easing Chloe’s worries when she assured her the baby looked healthy, with normal measurements all around. They scheduled another ultrasound four weeks from now, and she and Beca were on their way with three copies of the ultrasound, one for Chloe, one to put on the fridge, and one Beca requested to store in her wallet.

Beca drove them to Target next, and instead of heading to the maternity clothing section, Chloe went straight for the baby stuff, pulling a chuckle from Beca as she pushed the cart alongside.

“Okay, I wanna buy everything,” Chloe mused aloud as she put a onesie back on the rack, even though she found it adorable.

“I know you’re still uncomfortable with it, but please don’t restrain yourself because it’s my money,” Beca said, as though reading Chloe’s thoughts. “I haven’t really had anyone to spend it on, so it’s my pleasure to get Bean whatever they need. Crib, car seat, changing table, stroller, clothes… you name it.” She smirked, nodding towards the rack. “So get that rainbow onesie, because it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Chloe giggled and nodded, her eyes shining with unspoken gratitude before she reached for the onesie. It was scary to think of how small her baby girl was going to be as a newborn, and Chloe was so glad she wasn’t doing this on her own.

She selected five more, all animal-themed ones, then moved onto shirts and pants, showing Beca what she thought was cute to get her avail. She kept in mind that the Bellas and her parents were probably going to go overboard with gifts and paced herself on the quantity of stuff she dropped into the cart.

“I feel like we should get the crib, stroller, and car seat from like, a special store?” Beca chimed in as they strolled through the blankets/swaddles section. She scrunched up her nose. “I don’t think I trust Target brands when it comes to sturdiness. I actually strumbled across a car seat that looks amazing, it goes from that to a stroller in just a few folds and clicks.”

Chloe cast her an amused look. “How did you stumble across that, exactly?”

Beca’s cheeks reddened. “By looking up the best strollers on the market.” She cleared her throat when Chloe giggled. “I just have a lot of time to kill on the subway.” Another grimace. “Is that too invasive?”

Chloe shook her head, reaching out to rest her hand on Beca’s forearm. The contact of her skin under her fingertips made Chloe swallow as her body immediately reacted. Freaking hormones. “Not at all. I promise.”

Chloe managed to walk away from the baby part of the store before she bought the whole thing, and headed to the maternity wear, buying a couple of jeans with an elastic waistband, a belly band, a few bras, and a pregnancy pillow.

“Your total is $843,50,” the cashier announced once he had rung everything up, and Chloe swallowed thickly, glancing at Beca with slightly wider eyes.

“It’s fine, Chlo,” Beca insisted as she swiped her credit card through the device. She thanked the cashier and grabbed most of the bags, letting Chloe carry the two lighter ones. Everything easily fit into Beca’s large trunk, and Chloe slid in the passenger seat, buckling up. “Any particular craving for dinner? We can stop for take-out on the way home,” Beca said as she slid her sunglasses over her nose before pulling out of their parking spot.

“I could go for a burger and fries. And a milkshake.”

Beca grinned. “Cool, I’ll stop at Shake Shack.”

Once they got home, they hauled everything upstairs and stored it in the nursery for now, and Chloe changed into sweatpants and Beca’s Bellas hoodie which she had never given back, picking an episode of The Office for them to watch.

“Oh, I forgot,” Beca said after they were done eating, pushing to her feet. “Stay put.”

Chloe did as she was told, giving Beca a curious look when she walked back to the couch with a package. Setting her milkshake on the coffee table, Chloe plucked it from her hands. “What’s this?”

“A little something for Bean,” Beca murmured as she sat back down beside her, folding one leg underneath and hugging the other to her chest. “I ordered it when we got back from Oregon and forgot to give it to you.”

Chloe ripped the tape over the opening and peered inside, fishing the box out. “Belly headphones?” She asked even though that’s what it said on it, her voice wavering slightly as emotions once again rose to her throat. She could blame that on the hormones too, right?

Beca nodded. “I read that babies can hear from 18 weeks on, and I thought it would be cool if Bean listened to music before she’s born. And you know nobody takes picking out a pair of headphones as seriously as I do, so I thought I was the right guy for the job.”

A watery chuckle burst past Chloe’s lips. “This is amazing. Thank you.” She leaned forward to hug Beca, holding her tight. Her scent did another number on Chloe, and she inhaled sharply, willing her body to chill out as she backed away. “For this, and for today…” She couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled so much. “I really don’t know what to say besides thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Chlo,” Beca said, a soft smile curving her lips. “I’m just happy you’re finding your way back step by step.”

Chloe nodded, exhaling. The light at the end of the tunnel was just in sight, and while it was another long way to reach it, she felt like she could, and that on its own felt like a victory.

#bechloe #bechloe fic #pieces

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blood-guts-and-angel-cake · 2 years

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This is my (abridged) story.

Growing up, my mom struggled with anorexia, and my dad struggled with binge eating and obsessive eating. Growing up, my siblings and I were all exposed to toxic relationships with food. My sister developed anorexia. I was always a tiny child, a scarily tiny child, but once I became a teen I gained weight (as teens tend to do. Their bodies gain more weight because they are undergoing the change from adolescent to adult, and the body needs to hold onto nutrients in order to do so). Since being very little, I always had older kids telling me how skinny I was, so this change was devastating to me. I wasn't even overweight, maybe I was 125-145lbs between any given months. When I was an older teen, I was working three jobs and got into college early, when I was sixteen. I was going to the gym everyday. I would pass out while driving, go days without eating (on purpose), and I still gained weight. my highest weight was 165 lbs. I've recovered, relapsed, recovered, relapsed, and since turning 17, my weight has yoyo'd between 115-165lbs, at least four times. I'm 22. For years, I've been aware of the negative effects of my eating problems. I've been to doctors, I've been told that my hormones are unbalanced, I couldn't drive at night because of a Vitamin A deficiency that gave me night blindness, I've had my period cycles change drastically (though they haven't stopped altogether), I've had heart problems, I've had gastrointestinal problems, I've had sleep problems. And here I am, on the edge of recovery yet again. It's hard for me. My whole life I've had displays of toxic relationships with food. I'm still trying to identify a healthy relationship with food. but I am trying.

No matter how much of an influence other people have on you, no matter how you were raised, the most important things to remember entering into recovery are these two things:

1. Once you become an adult, the influences of your youth hold no sway over you anymore. Being a adult means that you are capable of change. That you, solely, are responsible for you actions. You may require therapy, or medicine, or treatment, and it's okay to ask for help. Sometimes, these realizations and changes aren't something you can achieve on your own. But the first step into recovery comes from admitting that your actions, are your own. You are a whole person, who is capable of learning which behaviors are unhealthy. You can't blame your eating disorder on your parents, or siblings, or the internet. It is a mental health disorder, but your thoughts and emotions don't have to control your actions. You are not powerless. You are capable of so much more than you realize, and I really believe in you. I believe in me, too.

2. You only have one body. You only have one life. Engaging in toxic eating behaviors can, and will, affect your health over time. It might not happen at first, but the longer you continue down this path, it does have lasting impacts. It helps me to see my body almost as a separate being from me. My actions, lead by my emotions, do lasting damage to a human body. My body didn't decide how to look. My body didn't say 'Lets fuck with her metabolism'. My body didn't decide to starve itself. My body didn't decide to binge eat. My body has no acting power on its own. My body is not being malicious to me. My body exists as a vessel for my mind, my being, to operate in the world. It's like a car, essentially. if my car is really beat up and old but it still drives well, I appreciate it continuing to work so I don't need to buy a new one. But if my body gets beat up, and old, and the effects of my eating disorder compound on it, I can't just buy a new one. I've learned to treat my body like a small child. And while I still have problems, I understand that I need to keep working on them if I want to stay alive.

As a side note, I understand that some people with eating problems want to unalive themselves, or feel like that might be a better option than surviving. But please, give yourself a chance to relearn old habits. Give yourself a chance to relearn your relationship with food. To relearn your relationship with your own life. Any baby step you take is progress. It's hard. But the payoff is worth it. Talk to a nutritionist to see what your body needs to run at peak performance. Talk to a therapist about identifying and altering toxic behaviors. Don't let yourself be an abuser to your own body. If you really want to feel in control, you will, in time. Even if the path to starting recovery is long and winding, even if you feel a loss of control at first, even if it sucks, when you come out the other side, you will feel more in control of your life than you ever did. I love you guys, all of you, and I hope the best for you. I hope that this post touches even just one person out there. I hope that my experiences can provide insight to someone who might not be so far along in their recovery, or so far along in their relapse.

#pro recovery #eating disoder things #anamemes #love myself #love yourselves

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chasingfictions · 3 years

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ok i am putting the remainder of my lovers walk thoughts in one post so as to have mercy on u fine people but....

"let's give baby a taste" — i cant even TALK about this one, like!!!! what's he doing!!!!!!!! my dude!!!!! this is "hot tight little body" all over again though i guess technically this comes first

spike feeling reinvigorated to his full sense of self by fighting side by side with buffy and angel ... almost like the last time he felt powerful was also fighting side by side with buffy ..... almost like spike came to the hellmouth in the first place 2 restore drusilla to full strength but in the end it's him who ends up being renewed and finding a new center through sunnydale and the slayer....

buffy rolling her eyes at spike is something that can be so personal <3

spike saying he's gonna go torture dru .... baby boy you are going 2 show up at her door with flowers and beg her to torture you, let's be real

love IS a funny thing baby boy good point

apparently i cant stop calling spike baby boy , let's all strap in for that going forward

the fact that buffy and willow hang out and take their walks in the cemetery even when it's daytime....a) icons,,,, and same. b) also actually sunnydale is like 40% cemetary if u go by acreage so ur probably just limited for options for walk-taking

cordelia hospital scene fucks breaks my fucking HEART .. imagine u are cordelia ... imagine u give up your whole social life for this boy, and then by doing so actually gain a friend group that makes you feel happy and supported and liked for who you are for the first time ever ...... and then not only does that rat of a boy cheat on u but it's with one of the other members of this friend group???? and now you're alone and impaled???? xander i'll kill u .... willow u too you're on thin ice

fjkdlsfa ok the funny thing about the bangel breakup scene in lovers walk is like... how many breakup scenes can one couple have

buffy's early seasons updo my beloved <3

buffy doesnt have 2 smile like that when she says "or spike for some reason" .... maam get it together

im actually very emotional about buffy having to muster up the strength 2 friend break up with angel when like, she is a 17 year old girl, she just got back the person she loves, and he is actively refusing to let it be over, and she just ????? walks away?????? bc she doesnt get the luxury of being a dumb kid who can give into her hormones?????? im EMOTIONAL

buffy's tiny pink crucifix necklace my beloved <3

spike driving off triumphantly when he's just. about 2 get dumped AGAIN !!!! icon!!!

#im sorry everyone but i am done now #btvs rewatch

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spicymayo1983 · 3 years

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Hiya. This is chapter 11. After you catch Poe answering an urgent, early morning hologram he confesses that the woman is an ex girlfriend from his spice runner days.

Meaning that he immediately started seeing someone else as soon as he left Yavin 4.

Why does she need Poe's help?

You feel angry, betrayed and doubt that the wedding will actually happen now.

Warnings, angst, XXX smut, not for anyone under 18.

Twenty years earlier

Poe had 0 regrets running away from home. He didn't want to be a farmer like his father. Staying on Yavin 4 made him restless, like his destiny had been sealed.

Zorii Bliss was a fellow spice runner and around the same age as him, but to Poe she seemed so much more mature, like a real woman.

He felt like a boy around her.

Unlike you, there was no girlish innocence about her.

His growing attraction, and relationship, with Zorii made him feel a little guilty. Poe was still very much in love with you when he left, but his hormones got the best of him.

Up until that evening he had only shared a few kisses with Zorii, but he would be lying if he said that he didn't want more from her.

Zorii was a natural leader too, Poe had always found himself attracted to tough, strong women.

It's shortly after his 17th birthday. Poe had been celibate for what felt like an eternity to him, nearly 6 months.

He was craving intimacy from a woman again, he wanted to taste and feel the female body once more.

Him and Zorii were alone aboard the spice freighter. The chemistry, and attraction, between them was growing difficult to ignore.

"You need to keep your helmet off more". Poe teased Zorii, smiling a little. "I'd love to see your beautiful face more often".

With a slight laugh Zorii indulged him, removing her helmet.

Poe leaned over his seat and softly caressed her cheek while looking deeply into her lovely green eyes.

She was absolutely smitten with him, and what woman wouldn't be? He may have been only 17 but he was wise, brave and mature.

Zorii and Poe share a passionate, open mouthed kiss, a far cry from the soft and tender kisses that they normally shared.

"I want you". Poe whispered into her ear.

"Oh Poe". Zorii replied with a slightly mischievous smile on her face. "You can have me".

The makeout session quickly moved into the sleeping quarters of the ship.

He was so aroused that it felt like all the blood in his body had rushed to his rock hard cock, making him feel lightheaded.

Poe and Zorii hurriedly removed their clothing, as soon as she saw his large, rock hard cock she instinctively dropped to her knees and took as much of him inside her mouth.

Zorii was extremely skilled at what she was doing. Poe scooped her up in his strong arms, placed her on the bottom bunk, and with her legs dangling over the edge kneeled in front of her.

With two fingers inside of her wetness Poe began to lick and suck on her clit, making her squirm and moan in ecstasy.

"Fuck, you're good". Zorii moaned loudly as she began to grind her hips against his mouth. "No, actually you're incredible at this, wow".

Poe replaced his fingers with his tongue, Zorii arched her back and screamed from absolute delight as she experienced an intense orgasm.

"Shhhh, the rest of the crew could show up any time". Poe warned with a slight laugh.

"I don't give a damn, let them hear us". Zorii replied quickly with a slight laugh.

He was worried about getting caught, so when the time came for intercourse Poe pulled the privacy curtain to the bunk closed.

It was a tight squeeze but Poe and Zorii managed to position themselves on their sides. As soon as his thick, hard cock penetrated her from behind she cried out,

"Damn, you're huge".

A few moments later they both heard voices and the unmistakable sound of boots on the metal floor of the ship.

Poe put his hand over Zorii's mouth and whispered,

"Shhhh, they'll hear us!"

Zorii struggled to keep quiet as Poe fucked her, he kept his hand over her mouth in an attempt to muffle her moans.

With a silent groan Poe experienced his own orgasm deep inside of her.

Afterwards both of them hastily got dressed and retreated to their own bunks before they got caught.

Present day

You couldn't believe his words.

"Girlfriend?!" You exclaim, jumping out of bed. "I thought I was your girlfriend!"

"I'm not excusing my behavior but I was 17". Poe replied, looking like he was on the verge of tears. "I was young and horny, we both were, I never loved her as much as I loved you".

"But you're still acknowledging there were some feelings there". You tell him as the tears stream down your face. "How could you?!"

"Babe, please". Poe begs as he tries to put his arm around you. "You have to understand where I'm coming from".

"Noone made you leave". You reply angrily as you push him away, the bitterness evident in your voice. "You made the decision to abandon me".

"I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't love Zorii just to make you feel better!" Poe snapped back, anger flashing in his eyes. "Her mother has been taken into custody by a bounty hunter and she needs my help".

"When you get home I won't be here". You warn as you angrily start to get dressed. "I don't even think I want to go through with the wedding anymore".

"So you're punishing me for something that happened 20 years ago?" Poe asked, an incredulous look appearing on his face.

"No, I'm punishing you for abandoning your pregnant girlfriend to go help a supposed ex!" You scream back.

"How fucking dare you?!"

You leave, and go to the only friend you have on D'qar.

Her name is Esmaria and she lives nearby. She was your classmate on Yavin 4.

You knock frantically at her front door, as soon as she opens it she says,

"You and Poe are having trouble, aren't you?"

"You could say that". You explain with a deep sigh as you flop down on her sofa. "I found out that Poe immediately started seeing someone else when he left home 20 years ago".

"20 years ago? You're punishing the guy for a mistake he made when he was a teenager?" Esmaria replies with a slightly shocked look on her face. "That's a little much, even for you".

"Oh no, that's not it". You continue, your face red from anger. "Her mother is in trouble and he's leaving to help her, his ex contacted him early this morning and asked for his assistance, and he's going to her".

"Oh, okay, ouch". Esmaria replied quickly as she sat down next to you. "Yeah, I wouldn't be too happy either, being pregnant and all".

"Can I stay with you?" You ask as you fight back tears. "I don't even want to look at him right now".

"Sure, you can stay as long as you want". She replies quickly, a sincere smile appearing on her face. "I take it that there isn't going to be a wedding now?"

"I don't know". You reply, bursting into tears. "I mean, I still love him, I'm carrying his child, it's complicated".

"I think you just need to cool off, you're all whacked out on hormones". Your friend tells you with a slight smile.

"I hope you're right". You reply, smiling lightly. "But I'm worried that Poe seeing her will stir up old emotions".

You then burst into tears, as your friend rubs your back in an attempt to calm you down you confess,

"But I'm more worried that something will happen to him, he's going into a potentially dangerous situation".

"But he's also Poe Dameron". Esmaria reminds you with a slight smile.

End of chapter 11

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron smut #star wars #star wars smut #poe dameron x you #poe dameron imagine #fanfiction #fanfic smut #fanfic

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homosexuhauls · 3 years

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Professionals should heed medical evidence so that young people like Keira Bell aren't mired in a culture war

JOSEPHINE BARTOSCH

14 April 2021 • 3:00pm

Keira Bell is a young woman for whom the personal really is political. Now 24, ten years ago as a tomboyish teenager Bell began to notice she was attracted to girls. Whereas once she might have understood her identity as lesbian or bisexual, Bell interpreted her feelings as evidence of being a boy.

Despite a complex history of trauma, she claims not one clinician or youth worker sought to challenge her self-perception as male. Thanks to the woke posturing of children’s charities, it seems today that young people like Bell are increasingly caught in the cross-fire of the culture wars.

She explains: “There was nowhere to find support that didn’t affirm the delusion of being in the ‘wrong body’. No-one told me it was okay to be a girl who didn’t like stereotypically ‘girly’ things or that I was no less female because I am same-sex attracted.”

After beginning puberty-blocking treatment at 16, continuing onto cross-sex hormones at 17 and undergoing the removal of her healthy breasts at 20, Bell began to question her decision.

Today, she feels bitterly let down by the professionals that should have been there to support her. Now in a loving relationship with another woman, Bell believes she effectively went through a form of state-sanctioned gay conversion therapy.

“I feel like it would be an understatement to say that children and young people are being let down by institutions that are supposed to be helping,” she says. “They seem to have forgotten their duty of care.”

Bell is not alone, referrals of young people to UK gender identity services have increased by over three thousand per cent in the past decade; from 77 in 2009-10 to 2,728 in 2019-2020.

To some this is a positive sign of young trans people confident to "come out", to others it is evidence of a dangerous, body-punishing social contagion.

While personal opinions might differ, one would hope that the charities and professional bodies which support children would steer clear of divisive rhetoric. Instead, I fear some have left young people like Bell unsupported.

Alongside "Mrs A", the mother of an autistic child, Bell took the Tavistock and Portman NHS Trust to the High Court and won.

The ruling allows for the prescription of puberty-suppressing medication to children only if “he or she is competent to understand the long-term nature of the treatment”.

In practice, this has halted the prescription of puberty blockers to those under 16, though a subsequent ruling permits their use by 15-year-olds in cases where parents offer consent on behalf of their children.

The court noted that puberty blockers are an experimental treatment with unknown side-effects, and that in almost all cases they lead to the prescription of cross-sex hormones.

In October, shortly before the case was heard, Barnardo’s, NSPCC, National Children’s Bureau and the Children’s Society published a joint letter. In it they claimed preventing children from accessing hormone treatments undermined their “agency” putting them “at high risk of mental illness and emotional distress, potentially affecting their long-term future.”

The Bell v Tavistock was a complex ruling on a clinical matter. Rather than prompting reflection among the third sector, in the days following the case more organisations scrambled to plant their flag in the woke, pro-medicalising camp.

Consultant psychiatrist and gender identity specialist Dr Az Hakeem is concerned about the politicisation of some charities, arguing that not everyone who is confused about their gender is transgender.

He says that in almost all cases patients’ distress or confusion is alleviated by appropriate psychological help, but that “various non-clinicians and political activists have managed to capture myriad organisations who only wish to do what is right."

“They have looked to these organisations for help with understanding gender dysphoria rather than to us clinicians," he says. "They then find themselves unwittingly drawn into a political fight.”

He and his colleagues are now experiencing the aftermath of this seemingly organisational capture in young adults “who feel that their lives have been ruined”.

“They feel abandoned by the very clinics and politically motivated groups who want to champion these highly controversial experimental treatments which result in sterility and permanent bodily changes,” he adds.

The politicisation of the treatment of children with gender dysphoria is a phenomenon that spans the globe. Last week the American Association of Pediatrics and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) condemned the decision by the state of Arkansas to protect children from harmful medical intervention to treat gender dysphoria, such as cross-sex hormones and surgery.

The groups which purport to protect the interests of children would do well to consider evidence rather than the invective of lobby groups. By taking a partisan line on such sensitive issues as the treatment of children with gender dysphoria, charities are making political pawns of those they exist to protect.

Their failures will be written into the bodies and futures of young people like Keira Bell for many years to come.

#gender critical #radical feminism #keira bell #radfem safe #lgbt

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orcinus-ocean · 4 years

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I am watching hours worth of ex-vegan “interviews” or testimonials, so you don’t have to.

I link to each one so you can see them for yourself, but I wrote down the important points of each one, since I believe this is not just important, but vital information. This could save people’s lives, if they just stop and think and look at another perspective before they go into it.

These are real people. They really wanted it. They really knew what they were doing. They weren’t “doing it wrong”. These are their experiences.

Ex-Vegan (8 Years): Veganism Is a Teeth Rotting, Muscle Atrophying, Degenerating, Fart Fest

A young man with a lot of health issues including severe eczema, got into veganism to get healthy

He had previously been living the typical “college” lifestyle with lots of fast food, no health-thinking at all

For the first year or two, he felt amazing, he did fine for four years, had a successful YouTube channel talking about skin health and the vegan diet

Emphasizing how “literally obsessed” he was with his dental hygiene and health, four years into veganism, his teeth were deteriorating and every time he visited the dentist, he had to have a root canal, he had cavities, infections, receding gums, always something

He was always bloated with a visibly bloated belly

Despite being a very health-focused athlete, his muscles wouldn’t grow the way they should

His skin started going “grey” and his hair lost its rich color

His memory and ability to focus deteriorated

He completely lost interest in food - everything “disgusting”

Feeling a craving for protein, he upped the high-protein vegan foods, and he only felt worse and worse

After realizing this diet was making him sick, he took one bite of salmon and “it was like taking drugs” - clear, physical reaction to it, and compared to the plants giving bloating and gas, “it felt like I was eating nothing, but I had so much energy”

After going back to eating animal protein (as much wild fish/meat as possible), his weight corrected itself, strength in the gym went “off the charts”

The pain and irritation he had on the vegan diet went away

His gums went from white pink to red, “right away”

Digestion issues - gone, hormonal issues - gone

“Since I’ve been eating animals, I feel more humble and more gentle towards animals, I feel more respect towards them, and I feel like I understand the cycles of life and appreciate life even more”

He says the vegan diet can help people to “clean out the body” as it did for him, but veganism, he doesn’t understand. “If your mom was on her death bed, and she had the choice: Die a horrible, painful death, or eat salmon, you would want your mom to die a horrible death rather than eat salmon. I’m asking this to vegans, and a lot of them are like ‘Under no circumstance would I ever have my mom or anyone I know, eat salmon, because it’s killing an animal, it’s abuse’. And I’m like aren’t humans animals?”

“I view the vegan diet as a disease-reversal protocol, not as a ‘forever diet’.”

Ex-Vegan Family: (6+ Years): "Healthy" Vegan & Vegetarian Dogma Depleted Health and Vitality

Casey vegetarian/vegan for ~15 years

Did it to try to clear up his eczema and staph infections (which were so bad the doctors wanted to amputate his legs), didn't really work

He did feel great for the first few months as a raw vegan, but looking back, he believes it was more due to cutting out grains and processed foods, since he found grains are terrible for him

Lost a lot of weight, rotting teeth, reoccuring cavities

Gina became vegan at the age of 13, being a picky eater and caring about animals

The "readymade" vegan food wasn't doing well for her, so she started eating only raw vegan food

She felt really good - for about six months. After six months, a very severe depression, accompanied by brain fog, lack of mental focus, constant hunger, weight loss and joint pain, kicked in

She believed so hard that this had to be right, that she stayed a vegan for 6 years, before introducing dairy

At the age of 17, after four years on veganism, developed a cancerous tumor on her leg (not necessarily connected, but worth noting)

Five years into veganism she was pregnant, and began craving red meat - they started buying local dairy, meat, liver and eggs

After the baby, she went back to raw veganism, and the joint pain came back, "it's detox"

She instead went back to being vegetarian rather than raw vegan, but she still suffered from worsening joint pain, fatigue, brain fog

A couple of years later, she was pregnant again and she was craving red meat so much she even dreamt about it

Her conclusion was "I must be doing it wrong, I must just eat more of the high-protein vegan food"

For her third pregnancy, she stayed vegan, and the birth was the hardest one she had

The baby had the lowest birth weight of the three, still normal weight, but later, he wasn't gaining weight normally

The child couldn't sit up at six months, couldn't walk at a year old, was depressed, only learned to walk after they gave him meat, and he finally became happy

Then on her fourth pregnancy, she was not vegan for the first half, but went back to raw vegan on the latter half of the pregnancy, and this child was healthy

On raw veganism at the end of the fourth pregnancy, her teeth were "falling apart", her bones were aching, and she was so foggy she couldn't think or remember anything

At the end of her pregnancy, she hadn't gained any weight, just stayed the same

Her teeth were full of cavities, despite having been to the dentist and "fixed everything" just some months prior

They could never manage raw fruit more than six months at a time, constant hunger

They believed the constant hunger could be due to parasites, so they ate anti-parasitic herbs which only made things worse

When she stopped eating vegetables (only fruit?), she got skin rashes as well

When they went back to meat, they felt full for the whole day, while on raw veganism, they had to eat all the time and were still always hungry

At the time of filming, they were completely off veganism for four months and she feels like her brain has "grown", she has energy, can exercise again, is gaining muscle

Ex-Vegan (4 Years): How Veganism Shortened My Lifespan

Started veganism as a New Year’s resolution to turn his life around, after living “like a degenerate”

He started with a month-long juice fast, where he felt great

On the first year as a “whole foods vegan” (mainly raw), he suffered from loss of libido, insomnia, migraines, arthritis, couldn’t build muscle

After a year, he went back to a diet of white rice, lean meat, bone marrow and occasional red meat

This diet immediately got his libido and muscle growth back

After some time, peer pressure made him drop the meat, but he still ate eggs

The vegans around him told him “if you continue to eat meat and dairy, you will not be able to ascend and channel divine guidance”

One of them was a nutritionist, and when he told her veganism destroyed his health, she said that he needs to be on 80/10/10, a fruit-based diet

He stayed on it for five months, and it was “the worst 4-5 months of my life”

He went on another vegan diet, based on sprouts, sea vegetables and algae, and a bunch of supplements

Same problems - lack of libido, insomnia, lack of muscle, migraines, cracking joints

A friend who saw him for the first time in years said “you look like one of those kids in the refugee camps”, because his face was so sunken-in

His friend eventually convinced him to go with him to a steakhouse, and he describes the first bite he took as “the fat going straight into my brain” and he felt “like a dying wolf”

He gorged on 2-3 pounds of fatty meat, slept for twelve hours, and his friends told him he immediatly looked like a completely different person

His cracking joints, dry skin and insomnia went away

Still, he went back to veganism, and all the problems came back

He went back and forth between raw veganism and primal diet every 2-4 weeks, rebuilding on an animal-based diet, deteriorating on a plant-based diet, always thinking “this time I will make it work”

He had to give up aiming for optimum health as a vegan, instead aiming for just “normal stability”

Staying at an old vegan institute managed by one of the creators of his sprouts-algae-supplements diet, doing a colonic, the worker there admitted to him most of them there are not vegan, because they fall apart on it, but go on a primal diet

During the colonic, the worker pushed his liver, and he felt “fire” going down his intestines. What came out was all green, spirulina, algae and other such supplements, which had simply stored in his liver

He speaks a lot about studies on different “uncivilized” peoples around the world, who were all eating high amounts of animal fat, wherever they lived

At the end, he speaks of where veganism might be coming from, and the lie that veganism is good for the environment

His message to vegans is to “quit bothering and harassing people”, and that if you care about animals, go buy cheap land in Arizona and make an animal shelter or something, instead of bullying people who eat meat

Ex-Vegan (2 Years): Vegans Have No Empathy for Humans

Vegetarian for six years, before going vegan

Ate mainly raw vegan, and then her stomach became “an empty, vacant hole”, she was always hungry

Throughout her time on veganism, she was taking lots of supplements

Her skin dried up, she got acne all over her face

She became “emotional and neurotic” and “absolutely insane” from a lack of B12

A lot of talk about the cult mindset in the “vegan community”

Starting to eat eggs again, she felt “a little bit better”, but still felt hungry all the time

Panic attacks over tiny things, anemia, constant diarrhea

Started eating fish, it didn’t help much

She was always hungry but had no appetite, had to force-feed herself

After a particularly bad day, she realized she was risking her life, and ate steak the next day

Eating steak for the first time in years, she felt warmth throughout her body, tingling on her head, and “satiated” for the first time in years, “it changed my life”

Ex-Vegan (12+ Years): Veganism Is Starvation - Fruitarianism Is Suicide

Started in 2002 as a vegetarian for a year before going vegan, became raw vegan from 2009-2011, then went on to fruitarianism until 2015

She says many feel great the first year or so on veganism, because they cut out all the junk from their diet

She had digestive issues prior to becoming vegan, thought it might help, but it only got worse and she got sicker as the years progressed

After six years and only getting sicker, she thought it must be the drugs for her health issues, "I'm doing it wrong", or "my body is wrong"

(They talk about some very interesting "meat and milk causes cancer"-studies four minutes in)

She said the raw vegan years were the worst of her life, that her brain “stopped functioning”. She became "permanently psychotic", she "saw hell" and heard voices - conclusion: "oh, it's detox"

When she stopped veganism in 2015, she had a test done on her hair. They said they had never seen that much heavy metal in someone's hair before

She had been doing nothing but "cleansing" and "detoxing" for the past five years, and she was "the most toxic, sick person you'll ever meet"

She was “literally dying” towards the end, freezing cold all the time, her bones hurt so much she couldn't lay on a hard surface

She couldn't digest anything but fruit anymore, it took two years of quitting raw veganism until the point where she could digest vegetables and meat again

Her teeth had to be all "redone", because they were rotten to the roots, her hair was falling out

She was told that on this fruitarian diet, it will feel like hell for 2-3 years, because of the "detox", then they will feel great, like godlike beings

But since 2-3 years passed and people still felt awful, their "leader" changed that to "people are so sick today, the detox will take 5-6 years!"

This also didn't happen, people stuck for 5-6 years and only got sicker, so the story changed to "7-8 years, then you will feel great!"

Her comment: "You can't be a herbivore and be healthy. If you want to have a life of mental illness and an early death and degeneration, go be vegan."

Many of these people have also spoken of how many well-known names in the vegan/raw/fruitarian communities (from YouTubers to authors) are known “cheaters” who eat meat frequently in order to stay healthy, while lying to their audiences and telling them to stay vegan.

These were only five. I will do more of these posts, to keep them at a readable length.

#vegans #veganism #raw vegan #plant based #ex vegan #anti vegan #fruitarianism #vegan health

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