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fandoms-incorrect-quotes · 2 months

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bsd textposts!! i'm obsessed

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sorcerersandskillusers · 4 months

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Oda: if I had a nickel for every time I had to carry an injured teen with gunshot wounds wearing a long black coat and threatening to kill me, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

#funniest thing is its the same damn coat #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai #dazai osamu #bsd funny #bsd incorrect quotes #bsd odasaku #sakunosuke oda #odasaku #bsd akutagawa #bungo stray dogs akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #the day i picked up dazai #bsd the dark era

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lowlightsahead · 14 days

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Dazai: We can no longer mansplain, manipulate or manwhore our way out of this.

Chuuya, getting his bullets ready: Manslaughter, it is

#bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bsd incorrect quotes #soukoku #skk #bsd

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inamagicalhallucination · 10 months

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headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone

like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection -- like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense

but the tiger

the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida

then kyouka and junichiro

and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno

at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members

but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah

anyway:

atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: we should eat him

atsushi: NO????

//

kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi

the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him

kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell

atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha

//

atsushi, literally just working:

the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.

atsushi: NO??????????????

ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-

//

and so on

is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes

atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like

atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-

the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice

atsushi:

atsushi: oh

atsushi: oh no

//

akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?

atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like

akutagawa, blushing: oh-

atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u

akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-

//

eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like

atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him

atsushi: no??????????????

//

kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi

atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?

kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????

//

atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-

the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-

atsushi: no.

//

atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u

akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-

akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room

atsushi: do u not like goose :(

akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here

//

yeah

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dazaiskinnie · 3 months

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Dazai: Truth or dare?

Chuuya: Truth

Dazai, smirking: I dare you to make out with me

Chuuya, climbing into Dazai's lap: You best believe I'm not here to lose.

Atsushi: …

Atsushi: He didn't even choose dare

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chuuyaxsupremacy9 · 4 months

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Chuuya, unbuttoning shirt: god, isn't it hot in here?

Dazai: yes, but why the hell are you unbuttoning my shirt?

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incorrectsoukokuquotes · 4 months

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Dazai: Do you think it's too late for us to get romantically involved? Chuuya, holding a gun: I think a little.

#source: repo man #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #nakahara chuuya #incorrect quotes #incorrect bsd quotes #incorrect bungou stray dogs #incorrect bungou stray dogs quotes #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #soukoku #dazai x chuuya

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sakyira · 1 year

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Chuuya, at Dazai's funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone: Of course. *leaves*

Chuuya, leaning over Dazai′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Dazai: Yeah, no shit.

#soukoku #skk #soukoku incorrect quotes #double black #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd incorrect quotes #incorrect bungou stray dogs #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai #dazai osamu #ჩემი

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 5 months

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Dazai : " i don't know how to tell you this chuuya but you're in love with me "

Chuuya : " What ? "

Dazai :

Chuuya : " Oh my god, i am ."

Atsushi : " What kind of confession did i just Witness ? "

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pillonemelody · 6 months

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Comic from an incorrect quote by @flamie-42

WHY IS THE QUALITY SO GOD DAMN BAD?!

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mackerel22 · 6 months

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Dazai: Chuuya and I don't use pet names.

Odasaku: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Dazai: Honey.

*silence*

Dazai: Ha, you thought, bitch.

Chuuya, yelling from another room: What do you want, whore?

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whateveranimex · 7 months

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Chuuya: So what's for dinner? Dazai: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise! Chuuya: ... Chuuya: Is it soup? Dazai: I soup-pose it could be! *winks* Chuuya: Please enough with the soup puns! Dazai: Wow, you're soup-per mean. Chuuya: STOP! *one hour later* Chuuya: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!

#anime / manga #incorrect anime quotes #anime #bungou stray dogs #incorrect bsd quotes #bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bungou stray dogs chuuya #dazai x chuuya #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #soukoku

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axplne · 4 days

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Chuuya and Dazai after completing a mission

Chuuya (to himself): Right, just tell him that you think it's time you overcame your differences and started spending time together again without sounding desperately pathetic.

Chuuya: Dazai?

Dazai: Yeah?

Chuuya: I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.

Chuuya (to himself): Shit

Dazai: ...

Dazai: Right, I'm going to need you to never say that again.

Chuuya: Agreed.

A week later

Dazai: Chuuya? Have you seen my pen?

Chuuya: No.

Dazai: Damn... It's just I really like that pen... And I miss it so much it hurts sometimes.

Chuuya: ...

Two weeks later

Dazai: Man, I really wish they hadn't shut down that old noodle shop we used to go to.

Chuuya: Oh yeah, same I -

Dazai: It's just I miss it so much it hurts sometimes.

Chuuya: For the love of god

Later that night, Chuuya and Dazai stumbling home drunk

Dazai: I feel the same, you know.

Chuuya: Hm?

Dazai: I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.

Chuuya: Dazai if you're fucking with me again -

Dazai: It hurts when I see you laughing with your friends over inside jokes I don't get anymore. It hurts when I see you sat on the other side of the table during meetings, Tachihara in the spot next to you that used to be mine. It hurts when I wake up in the middle of the night reaching out for you only to realise you haven't been there in years.

Chuuya: Dazai...

Dazai: And what hurts the most is that I know this is for the best. Because no matter how much missing me may hurt, you and I both know that I only hurt you more when we were together.

Chuuya: Would that be such an issue?

Dazai (smiling softly): Yeah. It really would.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd skk #skk #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #inspired by Scrubs

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flamie-42 · 3 months

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Mori calls Chuuya into his office

Mori: Chuuya-kun I have a very special mission for you

Chuuya: *mildly annoyed* yes sir what is it?

Mori: well you know how much your ability has helped us in the past and how amazing of an asset you are to the Mafia…

Chuuya: what bullshit do I need to save Dazai from now?

#bsd incorrect quotes #bsd textposts #bsd shitpost #skk #soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #bsd mori #bungou gay dogs

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agirlfromanotherworld · 1 month

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Computer: Please enter a password

Dazai: *types in Chuuya*

Computer: Your password is too short

Dazai: Hehe, true

Chuuya, appearing out of nowhere: How fucking DARE YOU

#incorrect quotes #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd memes #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd dazai #bsd incorrect quotes #bsd chuuya #soukoku

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dazaiskinnie · 6 months

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*Chuuya shitfaced drunk watching a video on his phone*

Chuuya: NO! NO DONT GO THERE! DONT GO INTO THE CHURCH YOU DUMB BITCH!

Dazai: What are you watching chu? A horror movie?

Chuuya, nonchalantly: Our wedding video.

Dazai: …

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