#is this him?? idk i googled it and it was very vague

[your-fave-is-just-a-lil-guy]

Funfriend from corru.observer!

Funfriend from Corru.observer is just a little guy!

#is this him?? idk i googled it and it was very vague #corru.observer #funfriend #your fave is #submission

[nyxire]

the compulsive urge to open google docs and spend the rest of your day writing on a half finished story that you haven't touched in 2 years when you have a million other things to be doing

#<- anyone else got that #i very randomly opened google docs with no particvular reason in. mind like 2 days ago. and i went to looks over at some old writing things #and i read it over and like 'hmm. actually i think i know what to write here! and then i more or less rewrote my oc main character and wrot #like half of the story i had plotted out #his characeterization in the story was pretty inconsistent with the character sheet i had for him but i liked his character in the story mo #i thought it felt more natural and made more sense & stuff so then i went & edited my character sheetand yeah #oh yeah. tips for writers from me ^^ if u do use character sheets don't be completely rigid withthem #bc sometimes u will write your character in a different way & be like. well this is ooc to the sheet but i think this works better? #and so then u hv to figure out if the character is acting the way they are bc of the situation they r in #or if it's just their personality or if it's mix of both! #so then it's a question of okay is this character development or just their character? #at least for me. y'all can totally just stick to your sheets if u want. but generally i try to use the sheet as more of a vague reference #their charecterization isn't strictly limited to what i hv written down. 1st of all bc i know for a fact i can't probably convey that in #the sheet but that's mostly just a me thing. and 2nd of all bc ppl r very multifacted so they will act out in ways contrary to themselves! #sometimes they will be ooc and that's alright! it's a very interesting part of humans. we don't have one stricvt personaliy #there are sides and dimensions to us. some of which will never be fully understood and that's alright! #anyways i totally went rant mode there. idk if any of that is cohesive

[bambisnc]

off the record [ft. j.wy]

pairing : wony x reader genre : fluffyy/crack + fake dating trope! cw/tw : kissing mention ;-; wc : idk it was a page in google docs :/

“hey. don’t look at him. he’ll get weirded out.”

“ah yes of course, because your ex showing up at your birthday party uninvited and with a girlfriend of her own is totally not more than enough to do that.”

wonyoung rolls her eyes at you. sure she’d asked you to become her girlfriend; her fake girlfriend but that was for a very good reason okay?! 

it was all her ex’s fault. she hadn’t really even liked the guy that much, but the fact that he went from a blinded, lovesick puppy to be the one breaking up with her made her furious. and an angry her did not always have the most logical ideas…

when she saw him drop off his new girlfriend in front of the girls washroom (was it just her or was that highkey weird..) she lost it completely. grabbing you by the shoulders, a girl she vaguely knew from.. chemistry was it?, she immediately pulled you into a stall with a curt, “i need you to pretend to date me.” dropping from her delicate lips.

oh okay, you thought, just an average wednesday. the literal love of your life drags you into a bathroom stall (?!?@?#?$?@#) and asks you to date them. well, fake date them. it’s the same thing really, c’mon.

which is what lead to a major series of unfortunate events (not for you, to be honest – you get to spend time with The jang wonyoung, hell she can use you for whatever nefarious schemes she has cooking up in that pretty little head of hers &lt;3) ending up with you here..

..stuck between a wall and a hard place. quite literally. with wonyoung having placed her hands on the wall, effectively trapping you against it; almost as if in a protective manner. you knew she’d been boasting about you to everyone who’d listen – there was hardly anyone who wasn’t interested in the school princess’ romantic affairs – before you’d arrived.. rather late, unfortunately.

“so are you planning on explaining why you’re late? or will you only be making sarcastic quips at everything i say~?” she asks with the sweetest smile but you will not be falling for that. the nicer her expression is, the more scared you should be is the one thing you’ve managed to learn from having had her arm wrapped around your waist for around 3 weeks now.

“i told you there was just an .. issue. nothing you need to concern yourself with.” you reply back, avoiding her piercing gaze to the best of your abilities. (spoiler you're not really very successful in doing that...)

she’s never been one to back down or leave a matter though, “i’m your girlfriend. how can i not concern myself with every single thing about you.” you’re just about to point out that you are, in fact, just a fake girlfriend but before you can wonyoung interrupts you, tilting your face towards her in a way that leaves your lips inches away from hers (and leaves you completely breathless), her tone dripping with urgency, “he’s looking. kiss me now.”

[series m.list]

notes : creds for idea and honorary dedication to ml @kyuusberry!!! ♡︎ + [m.list]

#order's up~! 📋⋆𐙚 #cakes.♡︎🥮 #[something secret n dizzying] #limasxx + 2592 + parisinvlogs pics creds and benkeibear for divs #ive x reader #jang wonyoung #wonyoung #wonyoung x reader #jang wonyoung x reader #ive headcanons #ive #girl group imagines #kpop gg x reader #kpop gg #wonyoung ive #ive wonyoung #wonyoung x you

[soracities]

how do you know when you're getting good at poetry? everybody dunks on halsey and rupi kaur's poetry, and i never really got why and idk if that's what i sound like

Honestly, I don't think there's ever a point at which you "know" you're getting good at poetry--I think "good" and "bad" are kind of vague and amorphous (and distracting) categories that don't do much in helping us understand the feel and impact of certain writing, chiefly because they can also be deeply subjective. How a poet views a particular work and how a reader views it will be very, very different because their relationship to the work is different. I also think "good" is a sort of external category that does not (or should not) carry into the act of writing itself--when you make "is this good?" the chief consideration as you write, you're not actually present in the writing: you're focused on the finished product, not the process, but the process is the most important thing: that's where the poem actually meets you. I think growth, in writing, is less about knowing if you're "good" in this regard, and more about being able to have confidence, or simply just trust, in the writing as it happens.

There's a famous saying somewhere that a work of literature is never "finished"--it just stops. I think skill, when it comes to writing, lies in recognising where this point is, in learning and developing how you navigate what it is you want to say, and how you say it. Some poems, eventually, reach a point where you can take them no further and you know there is nothing more to be said in them or through them. Some poems reach a point where you can take them no further, but there is still something left to be said in them. Those poems get revisited, worked, and reworked again, until they (maybe) get close to the first category: this may mean you work on them for a few weeks, or for years--but either way you are prioritizing the process of making the poem, not how it will be received. "Is this a good poem?" in my view at least, is not really the relevant question--what's relevant is "is this true to what I wanted to say?" Leonard Cohen famously wrote over 100 drafts of "Hallelujah"--I don't know if the central question for him here was just a matter of his skills as a songwriter.

Regarding Halsey and Rupi Kaur, I've only been able to read Halsey's poems through previews on Google Books so I don't know what other people's critiques are--based on what I saw, though, I don't know if it makes sense to criticize their quality as "poems" when she is primarily a songwriter and a lot of those poems wound up as songs. I'm more familiar with Rupi Kaur's writing, though, and others like her (Atticus, Michael Faudet etc), and while I have a personal policy of not getting into Kaur online (there's an ask here which is about as much as I'm willing to say regarding my feelings on her writing)--I can get into this trend or poetry "style" as a whole. And to be honest I think the chief issue here with poetry like this is that poetry, by definition, involves a deep and intimate relationship with language: this holds true regardless of whether the poem is simple, or complex, whether it's 5 lines long or goes on for 50 pages. As I said in that previous ask, it's not something you can reduce to a formula, nor is it a matter of mere reportage or a collection of statements: what makes a poem has nothing to do with line breaks (prose poems exist), but everything to do with how the language moves, how the language of a poem engages with its own content, with itself, and, as a result, with the reader.

The kind of work that proliferates on Instagram does not have that kind of engagement with language--they are, to me, pieces of information more than anything else. They reduce language to a series of stock phrases that act, not as actual words, but as images (and I don't mean this in a visually evocative way). It tries to evoke something that requires a thoughtful and sustained examination in order to be expressed, by surpassing the reality of what that examination actually requires. It tries to ape the effect of a powerful poem without the work that goes into actually being able to make that kind of a poem in the first place: and that work is a sustained encounter and confrontation with the language used and its relationship to what it tries to convey, in understanding that words are not interchangeable blocks you move around willy-nilly but that they have weight and intention, that they interact with each other to build up an idea or a feeling or a landscape in the most accessible way (insofar as language can make anything accessible, at least). But this is rarely, if ever, felt in IG poetry because it refuses to recognize or respect the demands and requirements of the medium it uses.

And because it is lacking in this engagement and recognition, these poems are also, for the most part, lacking sincerity--and this, to me, is one of the most crucial things when it comes to writing. I recall one IG poet whose work was in the same class as someone like Atticus, but I also recall one of his poems which genuinely moved me--and it moved me because, unlike everything else on his account, that poem felt sincere: the structure and the language wasn't any different to anything else he wrote, but in reading it, it was not a question for me of whether it was "bad" or "good"--what made the impact was that it was honest: and the difference showed. You can't come into a poem with ulterior motives. You can't come into it without an understanding, or respect, for the language you use. I'm absolutely not policing what people should or shouldn't read, and I'm not saying people are wrong for liking these poems, either, or that Halsey, Kaur, Atticus et al., are wrong for writing them. Expression is expression, and what speaks to you speaks to you. And to be honest, it is a different kettle of fish when you are writing something purely for yourself (and I think allowing yourself to partake in any kind of artform, without worrying about needing to be good at it, is deeply important for the human spirit)--but because they are putting their work out publicly, if we are going to be evaluating what they write and how they write it, that evaluation has to be rooted in an understanding of the art form they intend their work to be a part of.

For me, these are the main issues I have with these writers and their work and why I just do not like them. But I also want to stress that, ultimately, what you sound like in your own poems, anon, does not matter as much as being sincere to yourself does. As I said, I don' like using terms like "good" and "bad" and I think that often they're fairly reductive (and sometimes outright pointless) categories to use when we talk about and assess poetry--more than anything else, the key to building a robust and informed discernment when it comes to poems is to simply just read--read a lot of it and read widely. The broader and richer your repository of poetry (and literature in general) is, the more informed you are when it comes to all the different ways language can move through a poem, and all the different impacts it can have as a result. It deepens and enriches your understanding of all the different ways of looking at something, questioning something, expressing something. Your vocabularly grows and deepens; your net of associations--visual, linguistic etc--strengthens. And when this understanding grows you are able to place the things you read into a much wider and far more informed context. And this in turn allows you to grow as a reader and a writer. I hope this helps you a little, anon 💕

#ask #anonymous #book talks

[pixiecaps]

hello i am sorry if this is a lot to ask but can i get a cohesive explanation of what the fuck has been up with cellbit…. this man moves way too fast for me </3

ok ok so ever since qcellbit killed himself and removed his last presidential life he’s been contacted by an unknown source through black shulker boxes and solving all these rlly difficult enigmas mainly because his sons life richas was on the line. hes kept everything a secret and not told anybody anything because he was told to be discreet or again his son would be killed. now all these puzzles have given us LOTS AND LOTS OF EVIDENCE OF A LOT. lots of federation lore and what seems to be some key in destroying the federation we saw some diaries from a worker who seems to have rebelled or realized the federation is all a sham. its all very like scattered and vague but. IDK. OKAY. so the final thing qcellbit had to do was give all this evidence to the source. AND HE DID. HE HANDED ALL OF IT OVER. EVERY PHOTO. EVERY BOOK. EVERYTHING. and right then we had a reveal. qcell found an elevator went down and there was cucurucho. sitting in a chair. waiting for him. saying “excellent performance. thank you for your cooperation.” and as a reward gave him this keycard

so basically qcellbit was doing work for the federation the entire time for like WEEKS NOW unknowingly and handed them everything. they. wanted. and this will probably have very negative consequences on the islanders especially considering what was handed over.

now qcell did save everything in his “mind palace” aka his google doc but still. now the federation has all that information

@jamsiies saw u asked a similar thing so heres a short explanation

#pix asks aaaa #anon

[cemetery14]

Ah yes

Akashis manga backstory

I do enjoy the anime version where the akashis are just bitching at each other, but whenever I think of his backstory I think of the manga version

"The amount of effort required would've been too much for even most adults"

"The amount of lessons and extracurricular studies increased" RIGHT AFTER HIS MOTHERS DEATH

"But it wasn't the sheer volume that made akashi unhappy. It was that he succeeded so spectacularly at everything he tried" being naturally good at everything made him UNHAPPY, the struggle of being too slaayyy 😔

"The days spent with his teammates....where actually fun"

"And just like that another support system was lost to him. With that outlet gone he had nowhere to run from his pysco logical burdens"

"Well never again be the friends we once where. I can never make up for the sins I've committed against them. Instead I can accept those sins and provide them with adversary"

Also

Sorry guys I was just talking to the voice inside my head

Also also i don't think akashi has DID

I don't really like when people refer to it as that cause 1. It's not accurate to the actual disorder and 2. I genuinely don't think the creators intended for him to have DID, i might be wrong (please tell me if im wrong) but the fact that DID is never named in reference to akashi just makes me think they never intended that to be the disorder he has

My conclusion is in the weird world of knb where teenagers have basketball superpowers, this is just a in universe disorder that he has and we should keep it very vague when referring to it

Ive heard people say unidentified personality disorder and I started using that too, maybe even a unidentified dissociative disorder (don't take me seriously I know nothing about this I just Google 💀)

Idk it's just a pet peeve when I see DID and akashi together, cause if it is DID its kinda offensive and very unnaccurate, which is why I don't think it's meant to be DID

#kuroko no basket #knb #kurokos basketball #akashi seijuro

[thenamesblurrito]

assorted Transformers fics to rec (part 1...?)

i really do think fic recs are valuable to fandom so here’s a random collection of Transformers fics i like, with no particular theme. these were compiled by frantically googling half-remembered bits to try and find the only ones i remember reading years ago, and i know i’m missing some i’d like to include

EDIT: part 2 here!

A Prime Performance

TFP AU, incomplete, AO3. Megatron is an actor in a children’s show. this is just as hilarious as you think it is. some slowburn MegOp. i love all the easter eggs and references and the way this in-universe show is created and run?? it’s fascinating

All Roads Lead to Rome

no set continuity/vaguely Bayverse, oneshot, AO3. a huge robot warrior like Sunstreaker is odd enough in modern times, just imagine him in ancient Rome. extremely interesting premise to me i love this bit and would love more. warning for typical crass patriarchal expectations for women in marriage but nothing actually explicit

Another Gate

Bayverse, complete multichap, FFN. whatever Sam is now, it isn’t human. some REAL good body horror, friendship, and alien strangeness ooooo

Bodies (break)

IDW, oneshot, AO3. Ultra Magnus goes to therapy and Rung is something wrong. oooooooghhghghhf i LOVE when people lean into the oddness and creepiness of the local god

Brave New World

fan canon, ongoing webcomic, TFW05. a spin on BW among other things, following Rodimus Prime’s crew of beastformers as they face down an assortment of bad guys and mysteries. LOVE this canon guys i LOVE it, very very good beast mode choices, very heartfelt and very funny, i also love seeing the art progression over the years. lovely webcomic here

Burn a hole in the old grip of the familiar

TFP, complete multichap, AO3, NSFW near the end. it’s focused on Ultra Magnus/reader but the first half of this fic is probably my favorite. the overwhelm and incredulity the reader character grapples with for awhile, i feel like it’s pretty realistic for someone who’s been shoved into a weird new world. DEFINITELY did Breakdown dirty though. has sequels that i haven’t read

dares for the first time

G1, oneshot, AO3. lovely little take on a G1 Guiding Hand that makes me feel things

Dog of Law

IDW, complete multichap, AO3. the Lost Light crew don’t find Minimus in Tyrest’s cells, they find a small green turbofox. lovely character driven piece here and honestly i just really like when his canonical turbofox alt is used i think it’s a shame we never got it in the story proper

First Contact

IDW, incomplete, AO3. listen it’s only a little bit written but i am OBLIGATED to post isekai/modern girl in Middle Earth/falling into fiction type of stories and i really liked the setup for this one okay! i love isekai and this was the only one i could remember to track down

Grey Is The Night

Batman/vaguely IDW crossover, complete multichap, AO3. there’s a new police car in Gotham, and it’s up to no good. listen i don’t even do DC stuff but Batman meeting Prowl here is done MARVELOUSLY ohhh i love this very much, the plot is GOOD, and i bet folks who actually like DC will love it even more

Hazard Light

IDW, oneshot, AO3. a hanahaki take on Brainstorm/Perceptor that i actually like, despite not usually enjoying hanahaki at all, with some nice Cybertronian biology too

How to Save the World in 8 Minutes and 3 Seconds

vaguely G1/continuity soup, oneshot, AO3. how does Prowl save a species, with blocked communications, no visuals, and a short time limit? why, he just keeps an eye on social media of course! a lil dark and fun and clever

In Media Bellum

TFP, incomplete, AO3. human reader is caught up with Team Prime in a delightful exploration of culture and introspection and found family. no shipping but masterful platonic relationship work! it feels... idk relaxed? caring? i love the tone of this writing

Juxtaposition

vaguely G1, complete multichap, FFN (also on AO3 but never finished crossposting). a human OC gets in a car accident and starts hearing voices in her head, unknowingly saving a Cybertronian’s life, even if it’s in a very atypical manner. love this OC, love the whole premise here and the exploration of an alien reality from a human POV. no shipping, if that’s not ur thing

Lost Light/Rodimus

IDW, oneshot, Tumblr. the ship comes to life and has something important to ask Rodimus. i love this concept it’s very good, very intriguing

Magnus Carey

IDW, oneshot, AO3. Verity teaches Minimus about Christmas. short and sweet, i love their friendship

My Totally Real Mary Sue Husband Who Lives Back On Cybertron

TFA, oneshot, AO3, Dratchet. “Ratchet offhandedly mentions he's conjunxed. Bumblebee refuses to believe him. Hijinks ensue.” funny and in character and sweet

Mythbusters Season Nine Interlude: The Autobot Special

G1/Mythbusters crossover, oneshot, AO3. busting some myths AND some Decepticons! it just keeps getting better and better the further you read. i laughed out loud so many times, and cheered at recognizing so many classic Mythbusters bits, and i will get on my hands and knees to beg for a Dirty Jobs sequel these shows were my CHILDHOOD

Patronus

TFP, twoshot, AO3. Megatron has teatime with Rung, who... is not a normal bot. more good good Rung being something wrong

Property Of

Bayverse, incomplete, FFN. when Sam and Mikaela meet Bumblebee, it isn’t as an Autobot scout, but rather as a new owner of these recently discovered organic animals called “humans”. a very well done human pet fic that doesn’t veer into psychological torture or boundary crossing or anything (sorry if that’s your jam) and while it’s incomplete i still love what’s there, especially as the kids learn how to communicate their personhood to an ignorant Bee

Rules to Follow When Making First Contact

continuity soup/fan canon, ongoing series, AO3. listen i know many folks aren’t here for the human characters but i LOVE all the humans here they are each characterized so well and i love seeing how its been blended together across canons. this is a very clever, very engaging setup with a very grounded presence for alien robots that hits in ALL the right places for me. AUTOBOTS LEARNING ENGLISH YALL!!! YES!!! very good very good

Scrimscrim

TFP....... sort of, incomplete, AO3. what do you do when you end up with a Starscream toy brought to life? this is a hilarious premise with good characterization, a lovely human OC, a ridiculous situation handled very realistically, and generally good fun to read. reverse isekai is perhaps more of a favorite of mine than isekai!

SG Prime

TFP SG au, ongoing webcomic, own website and DA. REALLY REALLY COOL YALL. fantastic designs and inclusions and expanding on TFP lore and making very interesting SG dynamics and just. excellent.

TFP Wheeljack in TFA

TFP/TFA crossover, ongoing series of posts, Tumblr. i LOVE crossovers, i will kill and die for crossovers, and this is one of the few i’ve been able to find! there’s enough posts under that tag that i haven’t been able to read them all but what i did see is GOOD

The Echo Garden

IDW/TFP crossover, incomplete, AO3. Soundwave gets picked up by the Lost Light. okay i am a SUCKER for crossovers as previously stated and this one is Good. leans fully into being a crossover and expounding on the differences between universes. Soundwave needs to figure out what to do with himself! also features some delightful slowburn SoundRod and a lovely ensemble cast. Toaster is the best

The One Where The Decepticons Are The Good Guys

TFP SG au, incomplete, AO3. i’m not typically a fan of Shattered Glass stuff but this doesn’t feel terribly OOC or completely upended or alien to the original plot, i think this is done very well and i can’t wait for more

Transformers Recovery: Primal Launch

fan canon, complete multichap, AO3. it’s like the Lost Light but weirder, i don’t even know how to convey its awesomeness. VERY funny, VERY cool, Sky Lynx is there, Swerve is important, Riptide is such a good bot, Megatron exists, just all good things here. treat yourself and read this it’s such a delight

Twenty-Five to Life

vaguely IDW, oneshot, AO3. Starscream/Minimus soulmate au that makes me wheeze when i read it because it it so painfully in character and hilarious oh my god i am CRYING laughing by the time i finish it. petty criminal Starscream, noble Minimus, oil and water. gets raunchy but nothing explicit with an NSFW sequel

Under Control Till You’re In Front Of Me

G1, oneshot, AO3. i need more people to join the Shockwave/Moonracer ship please please it’s good

Xenoethnography

canon soup/based in TFP, ongoing series, AO3. a more hard scifi take on Transformers from the POV of an anthropologist hired to study them. y’all, THIS IS GOOD. seriously if there’s one fic out of all of these i could keep, it’d be this one, it’s just so so good ugh. ugh i love it i need to catch up with it again

#fic rec #rec list #macaddam #transformers #transformers fanfiction #long post #hey look its story isnt that weird #theres still a few open on my tab holder i need to get around to rereading and put on here but! thatll be an eventual part 2 ig #if you have any crossovers or isekai esque fics not on here send them my way and i will add them to my to-read list

[boltedfruit]

How I Outline/Plot: Including Author Resources for Developing Characters and Self Publishing

First and foremost, everything I’ve included in this doc that references resources (such as the plot outline below), is also available for free on the authors’ respective websites. I just wanted to recreate the template Scrivener file I use when starting a new project as I’ve collected everything in one master file.

MASTER TEMPLATE GOOGLE DOC: https://tinyurl.com/boltemp

I recently posted the chapter count for my upcoming Mafia MM romance I'm writing for NaNoWriMo this year and was asked how I plot by @duckyreads

Below, I've included screenshots of the first couple beats of my process and how much detail I usually include when outlining. The template I'm working from is an edited one of Romancing the Beat by Gwen Hayes, who offers her beat sheet for free on her site and in a Scrivener Template.

Using Romancing the Beat, I first went through and made a separate page for each story beat for my protagonist, Zac. I can't do just normal three act structure as it's too vague for me. I need Too Much to work with, then I can whittle it down later. I then did the same for the love interest and Mafia boss, Joe. (name might be changed idk yet.)

The colored dots represent which act of the story I'm in. Light pink= Act 1: Set Up, Dark Pink= Act 2: Falling, Blue= Act 3: Retreating, and Purple= Act 4: Shake it Off.

I also want to note that even though the epilogue is written in for both characters' POV, I'm only writing it once, from Zac's POV. So not every single beat necessarily translates directly into its own chapter. A few from Joe's POV are definitely combined more than once.

So Chapter 1, Scene 1: Zac's sister Riley has made him a dating profile and set him up on a date with who will soon be revealed as a crime lord.

I'm repetitive, because I've gone back in at different points and added little notes here and there. But my basic points I want to convey right off the bat: Zac is a hot mess who drinks to excess at times, has a sister who loves him but he is always putting her in a hard position, and has issues with money and violence from his childhood.

I also like to include some dialogue or rough snippets for scenes because it helps make the scene feel more concrete to me. I don't always do this though.

This is Chapter 1, Scene 2. Very short and to the point. (This was something I originally started writing as a fic btw.)

This is Chapter 2, Scene 1 and is the first from Joe's perspective.

It's plotty compared to the first chapter. I haven't done any nitty gritty location research yet so I put stuff I don't know yet in asterisks or brackets or in something like "XXX", because XXX is easy to find and change with ctrl+f > replace.

This is from Chapter 3, Scene 1. Just vibes.

This is from Chapter 4, Scene 2, from Joe's POV after the date.

This is what I ended up with. I'm sure as I work through it, the chapter count will go down. I don't really want my romance book to be so long, but I saw recently that 50 Shades is apparently over 500 pgs, which is wild to me. I'm also doing alternating POV, so it'll be switching between my protag and the love interest.

My outlining/plotting steps:

Decide on genre and type of story structure I want to use.

Decide on my protagonist and lay out a new page/note for every story beat of whatever structure I'm using.

Go in order or jump around and write a little per beat based on how I want a scene to go. For me, feeling is more important than knowing exactly what's going to happen. I'm not naturally a plotter, so I still like to not be constrained when I'm actually writing. (ie I'm not adhering to some rigid word count per chapter.) And if I changed something or added a thing while writing, I go back to the outline after and add it in so it all lines up and I don't forget something I did.

If a beat doesn't fit its own chapter, I make it a scene. It's also okay for multiple beats to happen in one chapter too.

Do the same for any other POVs involved in the story. Try to make each character have their own arc as well, no matter how small.

Really my main advice is go with your gut first because you can always add on or retract later. Write what you want (with some awareness of genre tropes/audience wants if you're trying to write to market to some extent). All book publishing is fickle and mean a lot of the time. And honestly unless you're one of the few who gets picked up by traditional publishers and offered an amazing deal, you'll be expected to pay for all the things you'd be paying for with self publishing, except with fewer rights to your own work. I'd rather pay and manage my own website, ads, and ARC readers and retain total rights to my own creations than give my rights to a publisher who might hold my book up for years, and still expect me to fund my own advertising, book tours etc.

And besides, if you self publish, there is no rule you can't have another book (and then even your backlog) traditionally published later on. You can have both.

#self publishing #writing #indie authors #boltedfruit writes #guess that's a tag #boltedfruit fic #I get heated about how trad authors are treated especially new ones

[tryhardgwen]

omg my first platonic fic

this is a platonic showmaker & chovy (& faker) runeterra au with proplayers as league of legends champions (kindred). i used a lot of league of legends canonical lore and then spun it with my own ideas :]

idk how tumblr works again but i realize I can do a lot more long form messages here so I will probably use this blog to put my thought process about writing fics? i will put that below, but it has spoilers so if u wanna check it out probably read the fic first !!

named after the sleep token song:

i chose this song to name it after this not only because the obvious kindred relation with "the eyes of the wolf / the mouth of the lamb" but also because of the other lyrics!

"for so long I have waited / so long that I almost became / just a stoic statue fit for nobody" is very much the grey man coded.

"the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me" would talk about the creation of the kindred, and lamb and wolf. they are each others escape.

"i know i know the way that it goes / you get what you give / you reap what you sow" well... kindred. they give death, and... ok imma stfu.

"and just like the rain / you cast the dust into nothing / and wash out the salt from my hands / so touch me again /i feel my shadow dissolving / will you cleanse me with pleasure?" i think speaks to the relationship between lamb and wolf again.

"nobody can say for certain / if maybe it's all just a game / when I open my eyes to the future / I can hear you say my name" is what I perceive to be the kindred and the grey man's relationship. :>

in the end notes i vaguely touch on the idea of the "LCK Mid" which I think is one of thee most interesting dynamics in lolesports. I've been wanting to write plat fics for a while to sort of explore. in my eyes the holy trinity of the lck mid would be faker, chovy, and showmaker. man I love them. also my grammarly keeps autocorrecting showmaker to shoemaker and its so annoying lmao.

but anyway they r SO INTERESTING! in this fic i tried to include a lot of parallels, from how showmaker as lamb knows more than chovy as wolf—because chovy hasn't won anything internationally unlike showmaker has. chovy's more hungry, because he hasn't won a world championship yet. not to mention their relationship with faker—each having a diff specialization and aspect of their gameplay. showmaker has said many times about how he doesn't want to be the next faker so i made him despise the grey man here. with faker as the grey man i again use the whole "alone at the top" trope because... oh my god I'm a sucker for that. he's got everything, but everyone hates him, and he is lonely. plus my ending + the cyclic nature of the world/of the esports... faker will always be there. it will always come back to him. there will be other midlaners, but its always faker at the end, or so it seems.

anyway! i had a lot of fun writing this fic. it was very challenging and out of my comfort zone because it was platonic and abt people I haven't written about before, and because its a lot more... abstract? it relies on parallelism and reading between the lines. idk. my brain is dumb. i am also dumb. i just vomit words on a google doc and pray for the best.

if anyone has more questions u can ask here on tumblr or on retrospring. please be nice bc again tumblr scares me. i am easily scared.

#lolrpf #lck fic #lck au #i broke my brain writing this i fear #dont even read this go read the kindred short stories instead #gwen writes!

[asherashedwings]

I completely forgot to post these guys

MUSIC MEN !!

May include rambling cuz my love for spiders kinda slipped its way into these designs lol

DJ Music Man

VERY vaguely based on a Goliath Bird Eater, since they’re the biggest spider. I thought it’d fit this big guy.

Fun fact: if you google “Goliath Bird Eater face” one of the first results is actually the face of a wolf spider.

…I’ve spent a lot of time looking at spider faces. I can recognize a lot of them based on head shape and eye placement now.

Anyways

Mini Music Men ! (and their ruined forms)

They’re all based on different spiders, which will be explained under the cut, as well as close ups cuz I don’t want this post to be super annoying to scroll past

Hip Hop (Jumping Spider)

Hip Hop is the only one with a name so far, and he’s based on a jumping spider! I had a good idea of what spiders I knew I wanted to include when starting these designs, and you best believe jumping spiders were on that list. They’re just very recognizable, and their eye placements are just very unique. That’s something I tried to accomplish with these designs too; chose spiders with unique eye placements from one another. Since it gives more variety to each music man.

He was actually the first one I designed and was part of the original 4 I designed way back in July of last year, the other three being Wolf Spider, Trapdoor, and Daddy Long Legs.

Also, making him the rabbit ruined music man was completely coincidental, I wasn’t even thinking about how perfect that was until after I had already finished all the designs. I’m just glad I happened to choose that cuz man it lines up so well. Cuz. Cuz jumping spider. And rabbits are known to jump-

Wolf Spider

I don’t have a too awful lot to say on this guy. Sweet old man. When I saw the eye placements for wolf spiders, I was having a hard time trying to figure out how to incorporate it in a way that was appealing. And then it hit me: put the lower four on a mustache. And then he just became an old man after that.

Trapdoor Spider

This guy’s based on a trapdoor spider— SPECIFICALLY a cork lid trapdoor spider. This is mainly cuz normal trapdoors don’t really stand out too much appearance wise. They look like a stereotypical venomous spider I think. But then! I remembered the cork lid trapdoor spider, and that one definitely stands out. The main thing that makes it stand out so much is that, compared to the average spider, it’s missing like, half its abdomen, the back end of which has a very interesting pattern.

I don’t know if it’s communicated well from this angle, but he’s missing half his abdomen, but in a way where it’s clear he was built that way, given the placement of his wind. I also included designs on his wind to kind of represent the designs real cork lids have on their abdomens.

Daddy Long Legs

Yes, I know daddy long legs aren't actually a spider, but it felt wrong not to include one, so I did it anyways.

This fella actually has a tiny bit of lore. Basically, he's an early prototype model of the mini music men, hence why he appears out of date compared to the others. And run down too; his age means more time for wear and tear to have occurred, hence his missing abdomen (which was really just a design choice I made in order to reference how daddy long legs don't have as many body segments as actual spiders).

Brown Recluse

Now we're onto the spiders that weren't in the original batch. Brown Recluse, as well as the other two after this, were actually concepts I made not too long after the first time I drew the original 4, however they never went far beyond just concepts. Until recently.

There's not much I can say about their design. It's not shown here but they actually play the violin, since one of the recognizable features of a brown recluse is the violin shape present on their back. So I guess that's that their limb shapes come from; they vaguely resemble the shape of violin bows. Kind of. Idk don't look too deep into it.

Black Widow

This one I kinda just threw stuff at a wall until something stuck. I still really like how she turned out tho. I tried making her wind pointier to kind of resemble the hourglass shape on their abdomen that black widows are so infamous for. I don't know if that's clear or not though.

Black Widow and Brown Recluse is where I sorta broke my main rule when picking spiders, which was, as stated earlier, to pick ones with unique eye placements. Black widows and brown recluses have very similar, if not identical eye placements. But I decided to overlook it cuz I wanted to include both of them.

Yellow Orb Weaver

When I was initially designing this one, I don't think I had a specific orb weaver in mind. Because back then, I had no idea how diverse orb weavers actually are. So after some consideration, and looking at the design I had already made, I decided that he's based on a yellow orb weaver. Mainly just cuz I wanted more variety in the hues I was using for these guys' colors.

I don't have much else to say on this dude. I just made him super lanky cuz the shapes were interesting.

Bonus doodles for those willing to read my spider ramblings. Love yall <3 /p

#I really like spiders :] #me when I had to post this from my mom's computer cuz I had so many images I wanted to include #fnaf #fnaf sb #fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach ruin #fnaf music man #fnaf dj music man #fnaf mini music man #ashedwings art #ashedwings post #ashedwings ramble #i think this counts as a ramble? #Hoping I'm not forgetting any tags TwT #Wingz!Music Men #Ruins Rebuilt au

[coconutcordiale]

steady pt two (what if i'm the one, but you're not?)

pt one | pt two | pt three | masterlist | prequel

pairing- rooster x female bartender!reader (no y/n)

synopsis-

“He won’t ever make you feel like I do.”

Part of you wants to strangle him for being right, for highlighting every part of your soul that still believes it was made for him with nine little words.

“Maybe that’s the point.”

warnings- angst with a happy ending, austin tx slander because i'm still annoyed that glens a ut fan, one joke about doing drugs, one dark adjacent joke about murdering an annoying rooster, drinking as a coping mechanism, past infidelity (no current cheating!), this is slow burn, heartbreak/healing, friends to lovers, smut in next chapter

length- 5.4k

an- actually why is the wedding in tx, idk. mostly because i feel weird making fun of states i've never lived in (which only leaves tx & ca) but also i'm moving and i'm gonna miss tx so this is how i deal, by making vaguely insulting jokes. austin is actually a very nice place guys i'm sorry lol

also I did a lightning fast google search of the naval air station in key west so apologies if it's completely inaccurate that rooster could be teaching there but lets be real this story is like...barely about tgm and more about rooster's mustache

d a y 1 3 9

As far as Bradley is concerned, the problem with you is that you’re far too magnetic. He’s constantly fighting the pull of you, the urge to show up on your doorstep and share his vinyl with you.

Maybe it’s because he has more free time now, going from living with someone to spending his nights alone.

He tells himself it’s that. It’d be easier if it was only that.

It’s probably because you’re quick on your feet, sarcastic as hell, and your new favorite past times include insulting his favorite patterned shirt and the fact that he loves BBQ Chicken pizza and hates The Office. For some reason, he wants nothing more than to hear you tell him all his opinions are wrong. He always feels one step behind your wit, one beat too slow in your dancing banter.

Occasionally, he’ll celebrate getting in a good jab about your uncultured music taste.

It reminds him, sometimes, of a certain blonde pilot he flew with at TOPGUN. His good qualities, at least.  

It’s a good thing you’re a hell of a lot nicer than that guy.

He doesn’t know if it’s the pilot in him, the part of him that won’t quit, but he finds himself wanting to break down the walls you’ve spent so long building around your heart.

Wants to peel back those layers, wants you to know not everyone will hurt you like whoever it is that you’re running from.

Can’t help but try to take care of you. He doesn’t know why when you seem plenty capable of taking care of yourself.

Maybe that’s why he suspects you need it the most.

(It’s not his friendliest of instincts, but he can normally keep himself in check.)

He knows you deserve it, at the very least. Because for all your whining about BBQ chicken pizza not actually being pizza, but instead, a crime against nature, when you knock on his door with Pizza Joe’s in your hand, he’s certain he’ll open the box to see one half of it covered in BBQ sauce. And you won’t even make fun of him for it.

It doesn’t stop him from ribbing you for asking him to play something from this century, Jesus Christ Bradshaw, more Righteous Brothers, really?

He puts on The Beach Boys just to be a dick.

“You should expand your horizons,” he suggests, halfway through California Dreamin’, thoughtfully chewing his pizza. “There’s a lot to learn about music if you’re willing to broaden your tastes. We could start easy, with the Doors or something.”

You roll your eyes, stretching out on his rug like a cat. “I already like the Doors, you pretentious snob. Besides, music is more of a visceral thing for me. Not an intellectual learning experience.”

Bradley furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“This is probably weird to you, because you’ve made it your life’s mission to learn every instrument on planet Earth, but for me, music is more instinctive. I like what I like because it makes me feel something.”

“Like what?”

You make a thoughtful humming noise like you’re really mulling it over.

There are more questions on the tip of his tongue, but something has been telling him since you started hanging out that the way to get you to talk is not going to be badgering you.

“How do you explain how music makes you feel? Isn’t the point that it’s indescribable? It’s a feeling, that moment when goose bumps shiver up your legs, something about two sounds coming together that gives you an unprecedented emotional reaction.”

“I’d say that was a pretty good description.”

“Jackass,” you snort, throwing a wadded-up napkin at his head.

He dodges it easily, because, hello fighter pilot, but your words stick with him. It’s uncanny to know someone who probably loves music as much as he does but in a distinctly different way.

You seem more reluctant to head to work than usual, and he tries not to let himself feel too proud about the fact that he might have something to do with that.

Partially because you’re clearly going to be late if you don’t get going soon, and mostly because he’s not done spending time with you yet, Bradley offers to head in with you, citing he could benefit from having to walk the couple miles back to the apartment having skipped his run this morning.

Bradley rarely visits you at work and he tries to tell himself it’s because you guys spend enough time at each other’s apartments, that he’s already skirting around crossing the friend line by always showing up at your front door as soon as he leaves base.

The real reason, however, is that Bradley is terrified of Beth.

“Look,” Beth starts, steely edge to her tone after you’ve walked to the back grumbling about stupid tourist bars and their garnishes to find maraschino cherries or drink umbrellas or whatever else you need. “Don’t you dare think about hurting her. If there’s even a chance of that, walk away now.”

Bradley holds his hands up, trying to seem like a nonthreat and she shoots him another look.

“We’re friends,” he defends. “Both still healing.”

She ignores him. “You weren’t around yet. When it was really bad. When I had to pick her up off the bathroom floor and force feed her because she wouldn’t eat. When she’d get drunk and cry until she could barely breathe. If you make her go through that again, I’ll make sure even the Navy can’t help you.”

He doesn’t doubt it.

“You haven’t been here much longer than Cali, have you?” Beth asks suddenly. You must be back from your tiny umbrella quest.

You come into his line of sight to flip her off at the nickname before tossing the umbrellas into their holder, a little more aggressively than he thinks the situation warrants.

Bradley bites back a laugh at your clear vendetta against cute, colorful drink décor. That earns a pointed look in his direction, but he just smiles amicably until you give into his warmth and he sees you fighting a smile back.

“I miss working in a dive bar where I could tell the customers to fuck off.” You joke, staring at the ceiling wistfully.

He rolls his eyes, biting back a chuckle, and turns back to Beth. “No, only been here a few months.”

“I take it your ex didn’t like Florida.”

You snort from where you’re setting up the garnish caddy, but Beth and Bradley ignore you. He knows you’ve heard this before, that your opinion on Lauren isn’t exactly fond.

“She didn’t seem to be a fan, no. That’s probably why she left so quickly.”

It’s not like he doesn’t miss Lauren. He does. In the way you miss having summers off when you were a kid or Saturday morning cartoons. He misses her because he spent so much time around her, because it was routine to miss her, but it’s no burden to live without her.

They were together for a long time, and the breakup did take him by surprise. But now that it’s done, he realizes she was right in leaving, that they were little more than roommates by the time they moved down here.

She’s like that missing space in your gums after getting a tooth pulled. You’re better off, having had the tooth pulled, but in the weeks after the operation, you run your tongue over the empty space, over and over again, trying to get used to its absence.

Eventually, you will, and it’ll be more right than things were before. He just hasn’t gotten there yet.

 “I like Florida, though,” he finds himself telling Beth. “And I’m enjoying teaching replacement pilots. It’s better than Lemoore or Fallon or wherever else they might send me, anyhow.”

“I mean look at this hideous shirt,” you chime in. “He was practically born to be here.”

“Excuse me?” Bradley gasps, hand going to his chest in mock offense. “I thought you liked my eclectic old man style.”

“Rooster, we’re friends, so I’m going to be brutally honest right now. Your style blew past eclectic years ago, it’s incoherent. That shirt has birds on it. Where do you even find these things?”

Bradley’s trying to keep the smile off his face, but he doesn’t think you realize this is the first time since he stumbled into your apartment a couple of months ago that you’ve used his callsign.

“What?” You ask finally.

“Nothing.” He grins, something like pride and unmistakable fondness budding in his chest as another layer peels back.

d a y 1 6 5

Just like last time, the phone call starts with your name. Your breath hitches, the world momentarily stops spinning on its axis. He doesn’t say sweetheart, doesn’t use his soft and honeyed voice to make you melt.

“I know I shouldn’t be calling,” you hear Jake say slowly as if he’s taking the time to enunciate each syllable.

“Have you been drinking?” You ask, chest tightening.

“Maybe.”

Your hands are already trembling. You don’t know why you can’t just hang up, block his number, do something, anything that doesn’t pry this wound open again.

“If you know you shouldn’t be calling then why are you?”

“M’drunk and I needed to hear your voice.”

“Jake—”

“How am I s'posed to let you go?” He asks, the crack in his voice corresponding with the break in your heart. “Don’t want to lose you.”

“You never really had me.”

That’s the thorn of it, isn’t it? You always considered yourself his, you were willing to give him all of you, but it was futile from the start. He couldn’t really have you since his plate was already full.

“Yeah, guess that’s true.” He exhales audibly. “Wish I had something else to say besides I’m sorry.”

“You are a lot of things, Jake. We both are. Sorry isn’t even ranked.”

+

You toast Bradley with your whiskey bottle when he gets back from work, walking through your front door still in his flight suit. “I know Beth said you didn’t have to deal with me at my worst, so I thought I’d grace you with the lovely opportunity of finding me drunk on the floor.”

The best thing about Bradley is that he doesn’t even question it, just ambles over to you, settling in close with his back against the wall.

“It’s been six months. Look at you, all healed and moved on, while I’m still a wreck.”

He shrugs. “That probably just means I’m still in denial.”

You make a face at that, but you’re too emotionally wrecked to touch it right now.

“Did something happen?”

“He called me.”

The breath he takes in would be deafening even if he wasn’t mere inches away from you. “That’s pretty unfair of him.”

The truth spills from your lips, feeling odd and out of place after having spent so much time lying to yourself and everyone else about Jake. “Wasn’t the first time either.”

Bradley’s eyebrows raise in surprise at that. “You didn’t tell me. Or Beth, I’m guessing.”

You sigh. “I knew she would tell me to block his number.”

“Which you don’t want to do.”

It’s not a question.

It’s never a question with Bradley because he always knows.

You lean your head on his shoulder, nose crinkling a little in displeasure at the smell of his flight suit. “The first time he called to apologize. It was nice to hear, even if it doesn’t make up for everything.”

Bradley doesn’t answer, just takes the bottle from your hands so he can take a swig.

You wonder, absently, if he’s allowed to drink in uniform.

“He said a bunch of fucked up stuff to me the night before I left. That it was just sex, that our relationship was all in my head, basically. It was—he just wanted to hurt me.”

“He lied.”

You shrug. “I’d like to think so. But it doesn’t really matter, does it? He still said it. But since I’m working through the stages of grief, I’ve now rebounded to anger.”

“You can’t stay mad forever,” he reasons. “You have to forgive him eventually.”

“It’s either be mad or start doing drugs,” you say, shrugging one shoulder. “Being mad is cheaper.”

That earns a dry chuckle and even your alcohol-addled brain preens a little at your constant ability to make Bradley laugh.

“It’s easier,” you admit quietly. “When I’m mad at him. It’s easier not to wish things were different, not to wish we could’ve worked out.”

“You mean it’s easier to move on if he’s a piece of shit.”

“Yes.”

“Well, he is, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

The air is still heavy and serious between you, his face twisting as you watch him mull over his next words, choosing them carefully. “It’s not a good idea, to keep talking to him. To keep entertaining this.”

Logically you knew that, of course, but his words feel like a bucket of ice water being poured on you anyways.

You’re feeling defensive, and you know you’re not being fair to Bradley, know your anger at Jake is taking over this conversation, but you can’t stop yourself, words tumbling out harsher than you mean them to.

“I just want closure,” you say, words slicing through the air sharply.

You could kiss Bradley for how mildly he takes your tone, how easily he absorbs the edges in your words. “Only you can give yourself closure.”

You know he’s right.

“You have to stop answering,” he says firmly, probably unconsciously leaning into your thigh where it’s pressed next to his own on your kitchen floor.

You look down, staring at the green material of his flight suit, the muscle that hides beneath the baggy material, wondering how it’s strong enough to hold the pieces of you together.

+

Jake calls again three days later. You hand your phone to Bradley, who takes one look at the DO NOT ANSWER flashing on the screen, before sliding the phone into his pocket and dragging you outside to go to the beach.

That’s the problem with Bradley, you never have to ask, and he always does right by you. He always knows.

You feel like you should be doing more to return the favor. You know he’s going through shit of his own, even if he doesn’t say anything, even if he always shows up to be your rock.

“I want you to be happy, you know that right?”

He’s staring out at the horizon, refusing to look you in the eye. “I’m fine.”

You roll your eyes. “We both know that’s not the same thing.”

His lips press together in a hard line. It’s impressive, really, how much derision he manages to convey in one minuscule facial expression.

“Is this necessary? Do we need to ruin this peaceful moment on the beach talking about my emotions?”

Something you’ve begun to notice is that your hands are always steady around Rooster, even when he shuts down and annoys you enough to consider cold-blooded homicide.

“I’m sorry, all right? I wasn’t trying to make you mad. But I know what it’s like, to go through the motions, barely keeping your head above the surface. You have to find something to help pull you out of the water. Flying, your friends, me, Beth, your fucking plants, I don’t know. We need you. You’re not a burden because you need us back.”

He slots his fingers into yours, squeezing them in a silent understanding, a silent apology. Your heart hammers in your chest at the gesture, trying to ignore the intimacy of it.

The problem with Bradley is that the possibility of him is terrifying.

Friends you can do. Friends is easy, friends doesn’t threaten to shatter you irreparably and incite you to move across the country. As long as you can keep Bradley squarely in the friends box, there’s nothing to worry about.

Even if, sometimes, you wish there was something more to worry about.

You’ve been drifting at sea for so long, nothing to tether you, nothing to hold onto. Here, in Florida, away from almost everything you’ve ever known you want nothing more than to keep your feet firmly in the sand.

Bradley is like flying high above the clouds, miles away from the ground.

d a y 2 5 4

You hear a crash, a stream of expletives, a door slamming all the way from downstairs in your bathroom. You’re upstairs before you can think better of it, before you can consider that he might need space.

“Bradley?” You ask tentatively, knocking gently on his front door.

He looks wrecked when he opens it, face splotchy and red, hand at his side still clenched in anger.

“I’m sorry for being so loud,” he breathes. “Did I scare you?”

A little, but you can tell he feels bad, so you’re not super interested in being honest right now.

“I was just surprised,” you respond slowly, which is true. “Usually, it’s me that’s doing chaotic things.”

He smiles tightly and you edge your way in, gently pulling him to the couch with you.

“Nice change of pace. I like being the one with their shit together occasionally.” You knock your shoulders together gently and instantly feel him relax where your arms are touching. “Wanna talk about it?”

He scrubs a hand over his face. “There’s this wedding.”

You let out a breath. Sometimes your life really does feel like a cheesy rom-com. “Let me guess, you need a date.”

He nods. “Lauren was supposed to go with me, I already RSVP’d with a plus one.”

You don’t know what to say, so you take a page out of the Bradley playbook and stay silent, letting him ruminate.

“I had a shit day at work, then came home to a reminder about this dumb wedding. I know it’s stupid to be this upset. It’s not like I wish she was going with me…it’s just going alone, having to explain to everyone why she’s not there, I don’t know. It’s hard not to feel left out, being by yourself at stuff like this.”

“Feels like the whole world is set up to make you feel bad for being single.”

“Yeah, exactly,” he agrees, putting his face in his hands.

“I could go with you,” you suggest slowly. “I’m not going to pretend to be your girlfriend or anything, I mean I’m sure some people will assume, but whatever. At least then you don’t have to go alone.”

“It’s in Austin.”

Damn it.

“Texas,” you say flatly.

“I’ll buy your plane ticket, obviously,” he says quickly as if that’s the problem here.

“I can’t believe I offered to do this without asking where the wedding was,” you grumble, shaking your head. “I’m way too good of a friend.”

“Come on, Cali, it’ll be fun.” His mood has practically done a 180. “We can go line dancing, or whatever it is they do down there.”

“Nobody from California says Cali,” you protest for what seems like the thousandth time. “Are you sure you’re from there?”

He rolls his eyes but otherwise ignores your nickname slander.

You sigh. You already knew you were going to say yes.

d a y 2 7 5

“I’m gonna strangle Rooster when he gets back.”

Beth laughs.

“Austin is so much like California, you’ll love it,” you mimic. “I’ll fucking end him.”

“You Californians are such snobs,” she sniffs.

“Beth,” you whine into the phone. “It’s one billion degrees here and there isn’t an ocean in sight. Just some river full of bacteria that’ll give you hand foot and mouth disease. Or something.”

When you get out of the shower Bradley’s back and he’s already in his choker whites, so it’s pretty much impossible for you to be mad at him.

+

“About the wedding.”

You look at him expectantly. His tone tells you this can’t be good, but you’re pretty distracted by how tan he looks in his white uniform.

“It’s gonna be a lot of Navy people. I met Brandon way back in API. I haven’t seen him since before I went to TOPGUN, so I’m surprised I even got invited, to be honest.”

Somewhere in your mind alarms are going off, sirens blaring. “You were in TOPGUN?”

Rooster squints. “You know what TOPGUN is?”

“God, Bradley it’s a good thing you’re pretty. I literally told you I grew up in San Diego. Also, everyone has seen that stupid movie.”

“You hate Tom Cruise. He gives you hives to even think about,” he comments, as if that’s what’s relevant at this moment.

You can feel your eyes rolling of their own volition. “Hence why I called the movie stupid. Don’t change the subject. How has this not come up before?”

He shrugs. “You don’t seem to like military pilots that much, so I try not to remind you. I just thought you might want some warning. In case you didn’t realize what kind of wedding you were walking into.”

“And yet, you waited until we were almost there to mention it.”

 “I was scared you’d change your mind about coming. I wasn’t really sure—you’ve never told me why it is you hate pilots.” He makes a face, and you feel kind of bad for letting him think that you’d bail on him over this.

“Specifically, I’m from Coronado. Take a wild guess,” you tell him eventually, wanting to smack your forehead on the dash of the rental car.

Something knowing is lighting up in Rooster’s chocolate eyes and you don’t like it one bit. “Wait, the dive you worked at before was the Hard Deck?”

“Yes, with Penny.”

He lights up at that. “She’s the best. That means you must know Mav…”

Bradley trails off as he watches you finally give in and put your head on the dash, shutting your eyes against this information.

You let out a sigh of frustration because what are the odds, and how did I not put this together before?

He furrows his brows, asking a silent question.

“Penny told me that Maverick knew someone when I moved. Wanted to give them my number, in case I needed anything. I said no because I needed a break from fighter pilots.”

His lips form an ‘o’ in realization under that stupid pornstache as he picks up what you’re putting down.

“Yet here we are,” you finish, hand flourishing in a gesture that hopefully gets your point across.

Rooster grins at that and it’s so endearing it makes you forget what a complete clusterfuck you’re in for a second. “It’s fate, baby.”

You snort. “It’s fate, seriously?”

Looking out the window, you think maybe you’ll get lucky. Bradley’s a few years older than Jake, they probably don’t even know each other. The Navy can’t be that small.

And even if it is, it’s fine, right? You’ve done some serious work these past nine months. You’ve cried, you’ve screamed, you’ve tried your best to stop being angry.

You’ve grown, you know that you have.

It doesn’t hurt, doesn’t wrench your chest, to think about Jake anymore, so if you have to see him, you can pretend like everything’s fine for a few hours. Right?

+

Wrong.

Unfortunately for you, imagining seeing Jake Seresin is nothing like seeing Jake Seresin.

The moment you do, panic rips through your chest. You’re glad you’re sitting in a pew already, certain if you were standing, you’d have crumpled to the ground the moment you clocked piercing green eyes and golden hair.

He looks gorgeous, because of course he does, because no one looks more like they should be in an ad for the Navy than Jake in his dress whites. People would be tripping over themselves to sign up if the Navy were smart enough to cash in on his arrogance and All-American good looks.

“Bradley, I can’t…I’m so sorry, I’m sure you hate me, we just got here, you don’t want to leave, obviously you don’t, but I have to…” You’re rambling, you know you are, but one second after seeing Jake you’re already trembling. You’re itching, to get up, run away, leave the state and never see anyone in this room ever again.

“Hey, hold on,” he says softly, putting a hand on your shoulder to keep you from getting up from your seat. “Take a breath. This’ll be easier if you’re not trying to have my part of the conversation too.”

Deep breaths. Stop freaking out before someone notices.

“I slept with him,” you admit, barely audible for fear of Bradley actually hearing you. You thank your lucky stars that no one seems to be near you to hear the admission of crimes you’ve been choking on for months now.

“Who?” He follows the way your eyes flit up to the blonde across the room and immediately back down, terrified. “Hangman?”

Rooster looks downright confused, clearly not fully understanding the situation.

“I knew he was married,” you whisper, unable to meet Bradley’s eyes.

You’re gripping his arms so hard that they must hurt, but he doesn’t say anything. You just hope you don’t have anything on your hands that’ll mar his pristine uniform.

“I knew he was married and had a child and I still slept with him, for months, and I thought that he loved me. I thought he’d leave her, even though he told me he wouldn’t. Because I’m an absolute moron.”

“Seresin,” he says slowly, not putting the pieces together as quickly as you’d like, but he’s getting there, “is your ex.”

“Yes,” you whisper.

Expression unreadable, Rooster takes a long look at you before standing, quickly pulling you to his side. You’re sure he can feel the constant, low vibrations running through your body with you this close, can practically taste the anxiety in your exhaled breaths.

“Let’s get some air.”

You go with him blindly, staring at the floor.

Right, left, right, left.

“I’m sorry,” he says when you’re outside in the sticky Texas air. “I’m dense, sometimes. Even after what we talked about in the car, I assumed your ex wouldn’t be here, because anyone here that graduated from TOPGUN probably did so years ago.”

“I could’ve mentioned it was Jake,” you respond delicately. “I was kind of holding onto hope that you didn’t know him.”

“Still.” He cups your cheeks in his large hands, warm eyes tracing over you. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to come with me tonight, that was selfish.”

“You’re sorry?” You ask incredulously, finally registering that he’s apologized to you twice in the span of a minute. “I don’t—how can you stand to look at me?”

“We’ve all done things we’re not proud of.” He waves it off like it’s nothing. Like it’s not something that makes you nauseous every time you think about it. Like you don’t have nightmares about having to face Jake’s family. “We don’t have to stay.”

Here he is again, doing right by you without so much as a request. 

“No,” you say firmly, rolling your shoulders back, determination taking over. You can do this.

You know what it took, for Bradley to ask you to come with him, to admit that he didn’t want to do this alone. You won’t let Jake take that away from you, your unspoken pact to be each other’s support systems when it seems the rest of the world has left you to pick up the pieces of your broken hearts alone.

+

The night goes about as well as you can hope for, given the circumstances. You recognize a few people from the Hard Deck, but the large majority are people you don’t know.

Jake does a double take when he sees you with Bradley, but in classic Hangman fashion quickly recovers, placing that charming smile right back on his lips. You thank the powers that be that he seems to be alone, not sure what you’d do if he was here with Katelyn besides start praying that the ground opens to swallow you both whole.

You try your hardest not to look at him but you’re not sure you manage it. It doesn’t help that when you sneak looks at him, most of the time, he’s already glancing at you.

There’s a part of you that thinks it will always be connected to Jake, the part of you that knows you’re cut from the same cloth. It makes you feel off-kilter, still being drawn to someone you once loved more than you ever thought yourself capable of.

The anger must be radiating off your date in waves because Jake carefully avoids you two for most of the night.

Until the end, as you’re getting ready to leave, when you hear Jake’s voice from behind you, calling your name.

“Can I have a word?” Without him, his expression clearly requests.

“You’ve had plenty, I’d say,” Rooster grits out. He seems so large right now, anger allowing him to tower over Jake even though they’re nearly the same height.

“Rooster, it’s okay,” surprising yourself at how calm you feel and squeezing his arm, comforting. “I’ll meet you outside.”

His face goes through a wide range of awkward facial expressions before he nods curtly, turning his back to Hangman without another word.

It’s awkward, to say the least.

“You look beautiful,” Hangman says finally, soft like he always is with you, except when he’s drunk and plotting ways to make your chest split in two.

You nearly roll your eyes at him. “That’s what you want to talk about? How good I look in this dress?”

He clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably. “He’s why you stopped returning my calls.”

“You shouldn’t have been calling me in the first place,” you snap, irritation laced in every word.

You’re proud of yourself for your tone, having spent those last few weeks around him whiny and teary and broken, a fragmented version of your former self. Because by the time you and Jake were done putting each other through the wringer you didn’t even recognize yourself anymore, didn’t feel like you had yourself to fall back on.

You really are healing, a microscopic part of you dances with glee.

Jake pauses, he must know you’re right.

But you can see the jealousy written all over his face, have been pretending not to notice the hard line of his jaw every time he witnessed the easy way Bradley’s arm snaked around your waist. It’s pathetic, really, how well you can still read him after all this time.

You’re watching him carefully and you see the knife coming out unauthorized a second before you hear him.

“He won’t ever make you feel like I do.”

You suck in a sharp breath anyways.

Part of you wants to strangle him for being right, for highlighting every part of your soul that still believes it was made for him with nine little words.

“Maybe that’s the point.”

Clenching your fists briefly, you try to release your anger through your fingers, before moving to get up and get the hell away from whatever this is, because agreeing to this was clearly a mistake.

“I’ll wait as long as it takes,” Jake calls to your retreating back.

Even though you wouldn’t wait for me, you hear in the silence that follows.

You can’t help but stop dead in your tracks. You don’t say anything, though, and he takes it as a sign to continue.

“It’ll always be you,” he says, honeyed voice tingling your skin. He’s moved up behind you while you were busy listening to your pounding heartbeat and the blood rushing in your ears.

Jake’s fingers gently brush your hair over one shoulder, exposing your neck in an intimate gesture he has absolutely no right to, but sets your skin on fire anyways. It’d be easy for you to turn around and give into him, to give your broken heart the band-aid it’s been begging you for the better part of a year.

But your brain pleads with you to remember all the times you did give in, to gain that small reprieve from the pain, the fallout splintering your heart further and further each time.

The only way out is through.

“I’m in love with you,” Jake says finally, and somehow it shatters you even more than it did to hear him claim the opposite.

“That’s not enough,” you say, and you walk out the door.

What if I’m the one, but you’re not?

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster x you #rooster top gun #rooster bradshaw #rooster imagine #rooster angst #bradley bradshaw x you #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #rooster bradshaw fic

[wrongcaitlyn]

okay so ‼️TW‼️ for this ask and off you do not have to answer or read it if you don’t want to please stay safe!

so. i think once in tyt there was a short reference to nico being suicidal and having self harming/self destructive behaviors. i believe maybe it was after he had to jump off the balcony? and will was like “nico did you do that on purpose” and he’s like “no” and it’s “he kept thinking of the time will caught him” or something like that i’m sorry i can’t look at it rn!

BUT

I was wondering if we’re ever going to get an expansion on that or just any mention of it in general.

me personally i would love too see some scar representation but ofc it is your fic and please don’t feel pressured into anything! i totally get if you don’t want to include anything about this.

and i’m very sorry if this made you uncomfortable or that this was triggering for you.

have a good day! and plz don’t feel rushed to respond! ❤️

yes! you are remembering correctly, and do not worry, this isn't uncomfortable/triggering at all to me! in fact, that's actually one of the reasons it wasn't expanded on - i have no experience with self harm/ thoughts of self harm/ being suicidal, and so even though i made those vague references, i felt very unsure about diving any deeper.

also, i started writing this fic when i was still pretty new to writing in general (or at least, i used to write a lot, and then i took a pretty long break, and then i came back with some one-shots, and this was my first really long project in quite a long time), and so i was just really,,, idk not insecure but i was overly cautious about making sure that i wasn't writing anything wrong, especially because i was writing about things that i had no experience with. like, my family's pretty alright, nowhere near abusive, no alcoholics, and despite the depression my mental health's pretty alright, at least at the time i was writing this - and, obvi, the main thing was that i'm not trans, and yet i was writing a trans mc coming from a very abusive household.

so with all of that, i dropped in these references to his freshman year, and very purposefully didn't start in freshman year because i knew that i wouldn't be able to write that accurately (or, at least, i didn't want to risk writing it inaccurately and portraying these very serious topics in a way that might trigger/offend people who do struggle from these things) and started off the fic in a time where nico was mostly in a much better mental state than the year before, but still struggling with those problems - just not as severely(?) as before.

i'm honestly considering/have been considering going back and editing talk your talk (the og fic) just because i think i've grown a lot as a writer while writing that, and there are a lot of, firstly, tiny grammatical errors, and some scenes that i would like to restructure/fix. i might be able to start that this summer, we'll see!

but ANYWAY to answer your question!! i honestly hadn't thought of going more into that, even though i am adding some more detail to nico's current mental health issues/his ptsd. i'm not completely sure about going into *detail* of it, because of the aforementioned reasons; i just think that these kinds of topics are very sensitive and it's not like the kind of stuff you can just, like, google and understand. if i were to add more about sh/past suicidal thoughts, i would definitely want to do more research/look up accounts of people's experience of it, because i'd want to make sure that i'm writing it correctly and not in a way that would just brush aside any of the details, yk?

i also think that, in a way, nico has completely blocked out that time of his life. it was very dark, and he's experienced even more trauma after that, and so it's just something that he tries really hard to avoid/not think about - even though i do think that he talked to mr. d about it at some point.

so the answer, to be honest, is that i don't know, but it's leaning toward a no. now that i think about it, though, i'm not entirely sure if it's realistic for me to just drop that toward the beginning and then never have nico think about it again- so i would have to do more thinking on the topic! thank you so much for bringing this up to me because even though i do remember mentioning it, i never really think about those early chapters anymore, which dealt with some pretty heavy material, even though i tried to stay very vague about it all.

i think that i'll try to include it at some point, and i do have a scene kind of forming in my head that i think i could put it into, but i don't think it will be very detailed, probably staying in the same lane as everything else that i included in the early chapters of talk your talk! thank you for the ask!!

#wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk asks #tw self harm #tw suicidality

[valvure]

| Some Character Concepts |

First up, a COWBOY LICH, which is a LOONNNG overdue redesign and overhaul of a OOLLLD OC of mine that had been needing it for a while, so this go ahead he is now a variant of lich, not the exact same, but still one nonetheless.

AND LAST UP [for this post] is "LARK" which is DEFINITELY his VERY real name and not something he made up. LARK HERE is a silly goober who despite having a wack ass time ability can't ever seem to keep track of TIME the fucking dunce, and wears the most odd things like his best friend [a fucking Tamagotchi], googles indoors for god knows what reason, and some monkey tail.

Though actually elaborating on Lark, and his abilities, he has both a time, and weather ability. Summed up first, the weather ability lets him alter the weather, but he really only uses it to sleep on clouds, or travel around on you guessed it, clouds, but the time ability isn't what you'd probably expect. How it works is simple, you can look vaguely a bit into the future by seeing a different realities outcome which can be unreliable at times, but where it gets juice is the fate swap ability that comes with it.

Fate swapping is simple, it is where you simply swap your fates with someone else, either to escape death, or idk you got bored, but here's where it gets juicy for balancing reasons. When swapping, your age, and well BODY will change to the persons age you swapped to, effectively swapping you back and fourth in your timeline in fate, and because of it becoming older, somewhere in your fate you could of lost a arm, or a eye, or have even died which makes it risky already. But where the extra fun confusing bit comes in is when you also take into account your body isn't from THIS point of time in you are actually in, so you can NO LONGER predict, at least for your body, or reliably what happens to you, or to even KNOW what point in time you could of lost your arm, or eye until you experience it.

Its very complicated and confusing and stupid where even my head is hurting thinking about it, OR MAYBE I JUST NEED SLEEP IT IS 3 AM SO UHHH HAVE FUN WITH THE ONLY OC RAMBLE I WILL GIVE YOU TO ANY READERS WHOOPS

#art #oc art #digital art #valvure

[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

Season 2 came to me a in dream major spoilers FOR SEASON 2 AND BOOKS for fever dream

Man it was VAGUE.

Helaena was running around the red keep and alicent was screaming that she should be in a tower after BC happend and when she was dragged inside helaena did yknow and it zoomed in on the curtains of the tower which had black and green dragons, but when she fell the dragons actually tore and only 3 remained symbolizing danys dragons and it zoomed back to aegon and a guy raised his sword ready to defend his king.

AEGON STABBED THE MF in his heart and went ''we dont use swords inside this keep anymore. not after what the blacks did.'' and it was confusing+ stupid but i watched on and aemond wasnt there for four fucking episodes!!!! kit harrington or whatever the queenslaying traitor bastard protrayer is called, appeared to play a old ass version of the stark guy and he went to alicent and alicent called him a wolf fucking bastard and he shouldnt be in in their affairs which is fair but weird and stark went downstairs and changed into his clothes as a sim and became a VELYARON SUPPORTER (?) and went to jace? i think? idk. nor do i care. sorry. I did saw the waves swallow them all but idc much.

Also Rhaena became Aemonds hostage at some point which was also confusing because wasnt she in the vale???? wasnt he in kingslanding??? waystones, i suppose- yet, why? Does Aemond think Rhaena will help them? Does he think Daemon cares about his daughters? Maybe idk. AEMOND IS WEIRD.

And Alicent could communicate with rats and the rats told her that she would end up dead because of the blacks as well as all her children and she became paranoid and her left eye started becoming all white and it glitched out and it was so weird. The rats brought her a drawning of this, where children had drawn her death or something. It was very colorful and alicent screamed.

Children from the city were taken and forced to draw and fed basically poison after which i didnt understand but ok.

Also Rhaena dryly commented. ''Hm, i never noticed before but turns out that Vhagar is the god of dead./war im too lazy to google.'' because the audience would not have picked that up without her lets face it.

Daemon wasnt much in action, I think he did was driving around a car and the blacks did manage to get the red keep back, also sansa stark was there????

Eventually the blacks cleansed the city of all bastards because ''they might be aegons'' ?????????????? and rhaenyra was looking really hot in her evil queen gown.

#aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd #helaena targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #darkfantasy #alicent hightower

[coolstuffiseverywhere]

Revolutionary Girl Utena - S1 E3 "On The Night of the Ball" Part 1

Hi! I wrote this like a week ago, but had to stop mid-episode. I'll point out where things are new!

Pre-episode thoughts: 1. Cinderella references to be expected? or just a take on the idea of a ball? a school dance through fancy symbology? who knows!

2. I just need to reiterate how much I love this music. Not a single miss yet.

3. I wonder if I'm completely missing everything or if I'm vaguely on the right track(or as much as you can be with two episodes so far), and I am willing to hear vague opinions on it.

Without further ado, the episode

Clearly, Utena needs to discover the power of lesbianism. Anthy, can you save this poor repressed homosexual?

More seriously, this series is even realistically gay! Outside of jokes. I am so glad.

Aren't you in high school? and in your last year? I am excited to see on where the (intentional, presumably) creepiness is going.

Sooner backhands then expected. At least she isn't putting up with his shit.

So I guess the rings are signs of having any actual agency in the plot? Considering the rose symbolism though, I have to assume that agency comes with a catch.

Considering the prince is clearly black, probably not. Also because I'm fairly sure that was the magic figure last episode, which I think was in the actual magic, which makes me assume the mysterious Dios? or someone else connected to him besides Anthy, which would make me guess her brother from what I've heard.

What's with the repetition so much? I think part of it is the semi-episodic nature of the show and saving budget, but it also seems thematic. Time loop, or just time fuckery? who knows!

What is this for?

Hi, future me here again, this is where I stopped. Sorry for the wait everyone.

Saionji I expect no better from you. I wish you hell. The shadow here is interesting though, considering how big it is. Is it meant to just be showing Anthy having a secret, happenstance, or what?

Yellow roses apparently mean friendship and joy, but besides that, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!? Like, is this meant to showcase her role as a princess? Or that Anthy is imagining her doing this? That this is her front? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?

Maybe it's symbolic for her upholding the status quo and being a arm of misogyny? idk

What did Chu-Chu eat??!?

So, she's just going along with this because they're engaged, right?

I guess he just wants her their to investigate her? I hope?

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? and what do the pets mean???!? They look like Anthy and Utena, but they can't be. Anthy and Nanami? Someone mocking Anthy and Utena? And what are the pets, boys following them around head over heels?

Nanami what has he done to you? I do not trust this relationship at all.

This feels potentially important!

So... I feel like this is meant to highlight people following the patriarchy? or something? at this point. But Pink to show real love maybe? And also femininity, according to google, which checks out.

I don't know how to feel about Nanami.

Not something a picture would convey, but I just heard Nanami call Anthy Senpai??!? Is the student council for the high school or middle school? They commented on Utena being from the middle school before, and those are often connected. Is she a lower year representative? Or is it that Anthy being the Rose Bride gets her called this?

I am really unsure how to take this besides kinda creepy. We'll see I guess? I suppose you could take how understated this is, and how adult this party looks, to be kinda how heteronormative society is pushed onto kids, even ones who are younger then these ones?

Anthy's social anxiety go brrr

WHAT THE HELL NANAMI? I AM UNSURPRISED AND YET TOTALLY SURPRISED! I had seen her mentioned as a character who is comparable but very different to Eva Ushiromiya, with weaponized misogyny presumably, but somehow did not see this coming.

What did Kiryuu/your family do to you? Seriously, that comment is more then normal misogyny, what is happening to you Nanami?

Also, alcohol being casual and handled by a waiter does speak to the idea of this being a symbology thing and also forcing the teens to seem more adult then they are?

This is apparently going to another post, since I'm over the image limit, but at least I can finally post this one.

#rgu utena #rgu liveblog #rgu #revolutionary girl utena liveblog #utena tenjou #revolutionary girl utena #utena revolutionary girl #liveblog #anthy himemiya #touga kiryuu #utenanthy #umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #eva ushiromiya #nanami kiryuu

[agerasiaa]

Hey! I just reread Glass Love Eclipse for the hundreth time and i have two questions that have been nagging at me for forever.

1. In the end scene, where Drew finds his star in Jake’s jacket, Jake claims he just found them in the halls and thought of them as pretty. Is he telling the truth or did he figure out it’s Drew’s and kept it as some sort of lucky charm or something?

2. Does Drew ever tell his friends he suffered from star tear disease? Or when they inevitably find out he turned colorblind he just makes up some excuse? And how do they react?

Sorry if im bothering you with this, i know it should be mostly to the readers interpretation, but i would really like to know the idk “canon” from the author. You dont have to answer if you dont want to! <3

Hi there! Don't worry, this didn't bother me at all - on the contrary, I'm very happy to see someone take an interest in my fanfiction!!

1. I did indeed leave it vague on purpose because in the case that I decided to never make a sequel to Glass Love Eclipse, I wanted the reader to be able to have the freedom to imagine their own preferred ending. But since you are asking directly - let me explain what's up with the stars from Jake's perspective (canonically).

The most important hint I left was that the color of the star in Jake's pocket is yellow. Yellow stars were the first stars that Drew spread around the school. And Jake happened to be the first person who noticed them: in that scene where Drew turns and rushes away to the bathroom when he sees Jake and Hailey - Jake noticed him walking away and automatically left to follow him. Then he thought better of himself and stopped. Before returning to Hailey, he noticed the yellow stars in the hallway. He did kind of associate the stars with Drew only because "it looked like they were left there on his wake" and they looked pretty so he decided to collect them. (Jake has since taken other colors too and he doesn't quite know why he is drawn to them.). But no, he has no idea what star tear disease is.

2. Drew wouldn't ever willingly tell anyone about the star tear disease. It's partly self-prevention - he thinks his feelings would be rejected which could cause him to go blind, and he is trying his best to avoid that. It's also because "eww, my embarrassing feelings would be exposed if I told anyone"

However, his condition is hard to hide and at some point eventually, someone would notice it. Drew would try his best to make excuses or just plainly be mean toward anyone who tried to make sure he was okay. Star tear disease is not hard to find if you know what to Google, and if someone saw Drew crying out the stars, he would be pretty much exposed. If someone took only a note of Drew's colorblindness, he could tell pretty convincing lies about it.

"How would they react" is a hard question to answer since it depends so much on who is the one reacting. Every character would have a different reaction. But I can say for sure that Jake would take it the hardest. He would be torn up about it, "Drew is colorblind and losing his vision because of me!!??" (And even if he didn’t know it was bc of him, he would be still the most worried one.)

Thank you for the question! The answer got a bit long haha since I really liked answering it :)

#glass love eclipse #tmf #the music freaks #tmf drew #tmf drake