#it could have been too much to handle

[ishkabibblesies]

🎲

#In memory of my DM #who passed away at 3am today #I'm still not sure how it happened #and the rest of the party a mess #They're all good friends and have their dynamic. I'm the new addition #I am also not sure if I am sad about them or that our campaign will probably stop #or both? I don't know #I can't quantify how sad I feel about each bit #Update: It was a heart attack. #at 47. Far too young #I can't bring it up but I can't help but feel we had a hand in exhausting the poor thing #Running two long sessions a week. back to back #sometimes even three #it could have been too much to handle #And I can't even say anything because how does someone even respond to an idea like that #Bibbles' rants and rambles

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’ #jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice #judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice. #she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry #he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as #he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back. #he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb. #planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco #you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen #his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but #jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control #i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation. #but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse. #i relate to ​jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late #my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone. #kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon #disco elysium #de fanart #jean vicquemare #disco elysium fanart #jean heron vicquemare #jean posting #illustration #de #artists on tumblr #my art #I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!! #i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings #my little maiu maiu

[marclef]

*Puts hat on Eyhm* Time for Cat Rat in a Hat *giggles* get it?

but, perhaps, let me raise you up one higher.......

a Cat Rat in a Hat on a Rat Cat in a Hat?

(they get to be friends for just this one moment 😁)

#i could've also put them riding on a Rat but that might've been too much for the world to handle. #my art #pizza tower oc #eyhm stuff #funny little scrungies. maybe i'll try to figure out a real name for my new Creature besides just Fake Eyhm. #... i could call them Aim. that's what Google Translate always garbled her name into. #edit: hey guess what they have a name now #dubblehyew

[introspectivememories]

shanks' need/desire to protect his friends and family from anything and everything vs buggy's gigantic inferiority complex that makes him take any act of protection/love as someone looking down on him, FIGHT

#buggy could trip and shanks could catch him bc god forbid buggy hurts his knees #and instead of saying thank you buggy just goes: what? you think i can't handle hitting my knees? you think im too weak? #what this man needs is the world's most patient therapist #and on the other end i think shanks' desire to protect his friends and family does come off as condescending smtimes #and like all of his emotions are dialed up to a 100 when it comes to buggy #and so at a certain point it does come off as possessive and off-putting and i think that's why buggy chafes at it so much #bc buggy barely belongs to himself as is and i don't think he could handle all of shanks' desire #like buggy already thinks he's weak and cowardly. less than in every sense and then on top of that to have shanks protect him?? #it would ruin him i think #and like of course shanks doesn't understand!!! what is there to understand when you've always been good at everything? #he loves his people and he loves buggy especially so and he wants to take care of them!! all the power he has is just a tool he uses to kee #them safe. and i do think there is a voice in shanks' head that says 'just take buggy. he can't resist anyway. you could keep him safe by #your side. he'd never be in danger at your side. just take him' but shanks knows that's one step too far and so he never does it. #anyway the occupy way too much of my brain space these days #one piece #buggy the clown #op buggy #buggy one piece #akagami no shanks #op shanks #shanks one piece #shuggy #shanks x buggy

[kielianleague]

Has anyone discussed the weird orientalism in the way the Middle Kingdom owls are portrayed

#guardians of ga'hoole #gog #don’t get me wrong but I highly appreciate the way Lasky handles topics like book banning/fascism/cults etc. #but the way the Middle Kingdom is written gives me whiplash lmao #it could have been a good chance to introduce some owl species native only to Asia and a good way for the Guardians to realize that there’s #so much of the world they don’t know about #but then it’s like 1) they’re exactly the same species but inexplicably blue #2) they seemingly only exist there because Theo of the northern kingdoms settled there #and 3) half of them. are descended from/reincarnations of demons that owls do not see as deserving of things #me when I read too deeply into a children’s series lol

[sunnibits]

he literally. fucking. he wants to be better but he doesn’t know how. he wants romance deep down but he doesn’t know how to be romantic. he’s in love but he can’t even recognize it. he wants to be softer but he’s all hard edges and he just doesn’t know how!! he doesn’t know how to make himself gentle!!! he doesn’t fucking know!!!!

#and here comes this GUY who just knows everything and is everything he never even knew Ed wanted because he never TOLD him #and he thought he fucking NEEDED to be sharp and hard and cold like a shard of glass because nobody fucking TOLD him there was another way #nobody ever bothered to teach him how to be tender and Ed presumably never asked for it so how was he fucking supposed to KNOW. #how was he supposed to know!! how to be any different!!!!! #how could Ed possibly ever choose him now that he has all the tenderness he wants and Izzy is too mangled to ever be soft again!!!!! #how!!!! #he’s fucking lost and he doesn’t even know how to fight this battle!!! #izzy hands #ofmd #sorry but cons comments have been making me INSANE #and it’s 2am and I just can’t handle this right now #he literally wants to be better. he wants to love he wants to be loved but he doesn’t know how…. #something something when you train your dog for the pit fights then leave it on the street to go adopt a pretty little lapdog instead #I’ve just. had many discussions with my friend ab this concept and it murders me every tim wand cons fucking comments are just making it #so much worse

[bsxcrxts]

I was too young when the hunger games books came out because I know peeta would have done irreversible damage to my mental state and taste in men. In like the way my standards would have been even higher than they are now

#what was in 2008? 2009? yeah sorry I was too busy playing with toy horses and shit #and then I never saw the movies #but extrapolating from the data I have if I had read those books in like 2015-2017 I would have been in loveeee with him #but I think I read them when I was 11 or 12 and I was like ‘hold up. kids are dying and I’m supposed to read this and #and enjoy it?’ bc it had like a FANDOM and I didn’t *get* what was going on #at that age I was a fantasy girl I didn’t understand why anyone would willingly read about something so apocalyptic #I now understand that was because I was an escapist already trying to find a franchise that could handle my deep need to insert myself into #a happy story. or at least a story happier than my life #and thg had too many problems of course I didn’t want to be There either you know #anyways. peeta ‘boyfriend material’ mallark ftw #and for the record yes I do understand the themes of thg much better now lol

[benevolenterrancy]

just rewatched "Drums Along the Dusseldorf" and man Carter is about two seconds away from throttling someone and he would have been so justified in doing so

#hogan's heroes #the show was self aware enough to realize: Hey! This Sucks! #it obviously sucks and carter is clearly upset by being teased like this #even ignoring the racism it's just straight up bullying #so it would have been nice if there could have been a conversation about that somewhere... or at least some heads being knocked together #it would have been a satisfying conclusion #and also obviously too much to ask from a comedy from the sixties 🙄 #i've seen some fanfiction that handle it in interesting ways though #my art #carter #lebeau #newkirk #andrew carter #sergeant carter #louis lebeau #corporal lebeau #peter newkirk #corporal newkirk

[sonknuxadow]

its honestly kind of heartbreaking that sonic superstars is just kinda okay after how good frontiers was . like they finally made a really really good mainline game again that had overwhelmingly positive reception after years of hate and mixed responses. but then with the very next game im seeing more negative comments again. and im not saying the criticism is undeserved just that im tired of how sonic always has to be that one franchise everyone hates and can never escape that reputation no matter how much really good sonic stuff comes out. you know.

#also if im being honest with you sonic superstars is the first new sonic game ive played where my feelings are this mixed #i didnt even complain about sonic forces too much when it came out i was just like Yayyy i get to be best friends with sonic #maybe its because sonic frontiers being as good as it was set my expectations for future games too high. i dont know #(and sonic forces also didnt cost 60 dollars) #to be clear i dont think sonic superstars is a bad game there are things i love about it #but there are also things i dont like about it or think could have been handled better #and i also probably would have been more forgiving of some of my problems with it if it didnt cost 60 dollars. tbh. #really hate to see sonic going down the ''every new game is 60 dollars now regardless of if its actually worth that much or not'' road #like sega please be serious. sonic superstars is NOT worth the same amount of money as sonic frontiers.

[cloudcountry]

After that one scene in the spin off game of Danganronpa with a literal child, I have not touched anything Danganronpa devs have made.

oh dear lord are you talking about ultra despair girls???? i didnt touch that game with a ten foot pole.

#honestly the dgr devs have always been obnoxious as fuck #but i need to meet vivia to see whta the hype is about #dgr could have been so much better if a DIFFERENT team made it #tehir handling of trauma also sucks ass #and the fandom does too #anons <3

[dummerjan]

today couldn't be more not-my-day i just want to scream and have a cry

#my laptop is breaking down #i just got my period and have had a headache since last evening #i have been awake since 5.15 despite only having to get up at 6.30 #and then my teacher called in sick and we have to do fashion illustration/technical fashion drawings at home #none of which i have ever done which is ok she knows that #but it still makes me want to cry because i am overwhelmed #and the really short term change of plans is not something i can handle well to begin with #and i have to go to school today anyway because of a ( likely exhausting/stressful) meeting with a counselor #nothing dramatic just too much at once before 9 am #i have been awake for 4 hours but i feel like a zombie #if only my laptop wasn't breaking down i need it for school today. #it's getting worse my the minute and it's taking for ever for icloud to upload files #i also overdid it socially lately #not my day whatsoever #could i at least not be on my period? #me being able to cry is thanks to only taking 1/4 of my usual anti-depressant dose #it's kinda nice #i dont want to cry but not being able to when the feelings are there is also frustrating #meins #okay enough venting #i am going to be a grown up now #or try to at least

[juriyuna]

There's something refreshing about how Juri's reluctance to make friends was less "What if they don't like me?" and more "I know I struggle with my temper because of my mental illness, and I know I'll inevitably get mad about something and end up hurting them".

Characters who are afraid of being disliked because of their personality, or who are socially anxious in general, are pretty common, but it's not often that I see characters who are scared of being the one to hurt others with their personality. I love how the story digs into that, with all of the ugly parts and anxiety that come with it-- especially where we get to see that Juri does end up making friends she loves, who love her in kind, and who help her learn to manage her problems.

#not to get too real on tumblr dot com at 3 in the morning #but i had a similar problem making friends growing up and it's kinda nice to see that explored in magireco #i didn't fly off the handle or get violent like juri does but i knew how moody and easily annoyed i could be #(thanks undiagnosed ADHD!!) #so i was hesitant to make friends because i was afraid i'd end up getting annoyed by them and hurting them #someone says The Wrong Thing (whatever that happens to be) and i get disproportionately mad and take a strip off them #i didn't want them to think it was their fault or something when the problem is entirely on me and The Rage™️ #being angry is a bad feeling and hurting people is an even worse feeling #i've always been content to vibe on my own #but it did get kinda lonely watching everyone else have fun with their friends while i'm too high-strung to be comfortable reaching out #''i love talking to people'' and emotional dysregulation are an unfortunate combo #[coughs] ANYWAY..... #sorry for oversharing; i accidentally consumed too much caffeine and i think i was seeing demons #magia record #ooba juri

[daz4i]

need a boyfriend but also romance is disgusting but also I'm obsessed with it and want to feel it but also i don't want to commit or feel constricted by a limited relationship but also sometimes the idea of belonging to one person is nice but also no it doesn't i am a person not an object but also yes i am or at least i would be if i could but also i would never trust anyone enough for that but also i wish i could but also

#being arospec and having bpd sure is an interesting combo let me tell you that #sometimes i wonder if my identity in that regard is tied to my bpd. like the belief i won't be able to handle a relationship #bc i know no matter how well i could ever manage my symptoms it won't be enough to make me love someone enough for a steady relationship #so i just conditioned myself into not having romantic feelings in the first place. or something #i guess. i want the good parts of a relationship. but I'm not capable of handling the other parts #which is kinda sad bc i really do want the good parts. but i don't wanna hurt anyone and ik i would #anyone includes myself bc ik if i put too much work into someone I'll absolutely get tired of at some point i will end up feeling robbed #why am i even thinking abt this rn. idk i was perusing some tags and the romantic posts on them made me 😬 #do i need to tag this as a vent. is it even a vent. ig? just not a negative one? eh jic then #vent #i should've been asleep an hour ago oof 😳

[anaalnathrakhs]

uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well

#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING #but like #if i just stop talking to my friends #then what's the point #do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends? #it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like #and i DO like them #i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow. #i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want #it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving #they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them #but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay. #but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up. #i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay. #and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore #it's too painful #i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly #i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car #but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers. #and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people #why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone #why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out #why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together #i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy #because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail. #i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom #so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is #smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me #and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever #and i hurt them anyway

[sampegger]

do you guys think the writers would have taken it more seriously if it had been alastair around relentlessly tormenting dean in late seasons as opposed to lucifer with sam

#i'm just thinking #like obviously late seasons writers tend to be inconsistent with handling trauma in any case but #like when dean first came back from hell we actually spent a lot of time with it #and with sam yeah we had his hallucinations but late seasons when lucifer is a problem again we only really get like #sam talking abt his trauma with rowena once #and this isn't meant to be dean critical like it's not his fault the writers gloss over how they've put sam into a horror show all alone #i just know dean gets more attention than sam does late seasons and i'm wondering if ppl would've been more willing to deal w it #but also the thought of alastair being around late seasons haunting dean in the way lucifer does sam is kind of awesome #alastair possessing someone in the bunker hmmmmmmmmm #PLEASE add onto this with any thoughts on alastair being around late seasons omg #alastair reviving dean like how lucifer revived sam in beat the devil? #idk alastair was always so much cooler to me than lucifer was maybe thats why my brain is obsessed with this now #i guess maybe like. you could do this same thing with michael. but alastair just seems more interesting to think abt #and amara was around too i guess #but. idk let me have this #anyway #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #alastair spn #lucifer spn

[robinsnest2111]

idly wondering with what experts would diagnose me if I was 100% truthful and could remember every single thing that happened to me and every single quirk I developed because of it <3

#like esp. at the start my mother would sit in on all my therapy sessions #and i didn't yet grasp what therapy was for at age 11 so i just talked about my day #and showed the nice lady my latest drawings orz #all that got me was a 'oh that kid is just shy and a little scared going to school just force him to go it'll be fine <3' #never said anything about the nefarious bullying or the things going on at home #because at that point i was so naive i thought it was NORMAL #and other therapists later on only ever focused on my weight and how sloppy i dressed. never addressing all my other issues so i gave up #never talked about all the other stuff for a while. #also that ONE situation i can barely remember but that fucked me up the most i think back in kindergarten... never told anyone about it #except a friend last year. wondering what therapists would say about that if i ever opened up about that to them #after a bit of thought it'd also explain my aversion to being touched/examined by doctors in that area. great. #ANYWAY just wondering <333 #also all the 'negative' feelings i immediately throw in the repression bin. like jealousy frustration anger annoyance entitlement etc #been told one too many times that these things are ugly and shouldn't be displayed. should stop acting like a spoiled brat #never learned how to handle any of that <333 #recently have taken to being overly analytical about it all. trying to find what triggers these emotions and then rationalising them away <3 #they do still fester deep in my soul tho <333 #good thing i'm so good at repression that i forget about it all eventually until something makes me remember and then i suffer #but then i repress again and i can live in blissful ignorance again <333333 #wish i could be a dumb silly billy more often and not think about things too much like i usually do haha #maybe that's why i'm so drawn to and fadcinated by the bimbocore subculture/movement...... 🤔 #anyway anyway just thinking haha