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atlabeth · 1 month

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price of dreaming

series masterlist

pairing: luke castellan x daughter of poseidon!reader

summary: luke's spiral and the part you play in it.

a/n: this is so sad i'm sorry. like it's just a couple thousand words of luke being sad with a cute little flashback and a percy mention to make it all more sad. i don't know what's wrong with me why did i start writing this series

wc: 4.1k

warning(s): pretty severe angst bc this takes place after hurricane's death and goes up to mid tlt. death ideation, minor descriptions of injuries, luke isn't the best person, just a whole lot of sadness.

Luke returns to camp two weeks after your death, nothing more than a shell of himself.

Half of his time was spent sitting in an interrogation room in a Boston police station, mumbling his way through questions he doesn’t know how to answer. It’s not every day that a teenage girl is found nearly ripped apart in the middle of a city with her boyfriend completely broken next to her. Two EMTs had to literally drag him away from you—at least, that’s what they tell Luke. Everything after your heartbeat stopped is a blur for him. He doesn’t really even know how he got to the station.

And that’s how it is for a while. He talks to detectives who don’t believe him, he stares at the wall and wishes you were here, he goes home with your mom. She’s being asked just as many questions, and she refuses to leave him out on the street or take him back to camp. She doesn’t understand that Luke’s done it all before.

Eventually, the officers settle on a freak animal attack. It didn’t make sense for an animal capable of doing that to be in the city, but mortals see what they want to see. Luke is just thankful to be out of it.

But he doesn’t know what to do next. There’s a huge gaping hole in his chest and in his life without you, and he doesn’t know how to live without you. Every time Luke closes his eyes he sees your face, and he hasn’t been able to sleep through the night since it happened. He only really manages to stay out when his body practically shuts down from exhaustion.

Your mom treats Luke like a second son while he’s living with her, and it pains him more than anything. She asks him if he wants to stay with her, try and finish out the semester. He was surprised she still wanted anything to do with him.

Luke declined. He loved your mom, but being in that apartment without you—walking past your room and knowing you would never be there again, seeing a space you carved out for yourself knowing the most integral part was missing—was just too much for him. The full reality of you being gone still hadn’t sunk in yet.

He’s soured on the city of Boston as a whole. He’s felt your blood on his hands since the moment it stained his fingers, and for as long as Luke lives he will never forget the look on your mother’s face when she showed up at the police station.

Your mom offers to drive him back to camp, and though he wants to say no to that as well, he doesn’t. Luke can tell that she needs a distraction, and he doesn’t really know how else he’s gonna get back to camp. They don’t talk very much on the way there, but neither of them burst into tears, so he considers it a victory.

She parks at the bottom of the hill and hugs him so tightly he can’t breathe, but he welcomes any kind of feeling.

“Stay safe, Luke,” she says, her hands on his shoulders. “And if you ever need a place to stay—”

“I know,” he interrupts. “And I’ll try.”

She nods a few times, and she blinks back tears as she looks up at him. “Thank you for everything you did for my daughter. For all those years that you kept her safe.”

It clearly wasn’t enough, Luke wants to say. If it was, he wouldn’t have lost you back then, and he wouldn’t have lost you now. But that wouldn’t help anyone, so he nods. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, his throat still dry as a desert.

“Always.”

“I know how much you meant to each other,” she says softly. “I’m so sorry, Luke.”

He holds back his emotions. “So am I.”

Your mom nods again and they say their goodbyes once more, hugging one last time. When Luke reaches the top of the hill, he looks back to see her still standing there. He wishes he could do something to ease the pain, but he doesn’t even know how to deal with his own.

Luke stops at Thalia’s tree, and he already feels that lump in his throat.

“I hope you’re together in Elysium,” he murmurs. “I always thought you would like each other.”

The beginnings of tears prick the back of his eyes and he clears his throat, shaking his head like it’ll help silence the millions of thoughts scattered around his brain. If Thalia lives on like this, he hopes your spirit is still around somewhere.

“I love you,” he says quietly. “And I’m sorry I failed both of you.”

Nobody at camp knows. How could they?

Luke wasn’t expected back until the summer, though, so his presence at the top of the hill is telling in of itself. Especially alone.

He ignores everyone that tries to talk to him and gets to the Big House to break the news to Chiron. Thankfully, when he dissolves into tears, it’s behind closed doors. Chiron takes it in a saddened stride, and Luke wonders how many heroes have died in his lifetime.

You have no siblings to make a burial shroud, so the Athena cabin takes up the responsibility. Annabeth invites him to take part, but he can hardly stomach the thought.

It’s beautiful. They emulate the ocean through embroidery and Annabeth even gets a little Red Sox patch in. They let Luke burn it, and he’s amazed he even makes it through the ceremony. But the entire camp shows up, and there isn’t a single dry eye. He hopes you at least know how many people care about you.

Chris takes over as counselor for the indefinite future, which is probably a good thing when Luke can barely muster the strength to get out of bed most days. He picks at his food when he’s able to make it to meals, and his prayers to Hermes have never felt emptier. He used to do one for Poseidon every so often, especially when you were at school, but the thought makes him sick. His eyes never stop trailing over to Cabin Three’s table.

The Poseidon cabin is empty again.

Luke doesn’t fully realize the path he’s taken until he’s standing in the doorway and the scent of salty air hits him. He’s so used to hanging out with you after dinner that he just went there automatically.

It feels unfinished. It is unfinished. You had a whole box of things back in Boston that you wanted to bring back to camp to decorate.

Your posters still hang on the walls—Blondie, Pearl Jam, Alanis Morisette. Fairy lights are falling down in the corner, and they’re unplugged. Luke had to remind you to unplug them before you left for the school year.

You should be standing next to him, smiling and laughing and dragging him in behind you as you rant about capture the flag or the canoe race you definitely didn’t cheat in. He blinks away the tears building in his eyes and he takes a step back.

You should be here. You’re not.

(How many more times is he going to end up here chasing ghosts?)

There are some things a person just can’t get over.

And that’s how his days go. He barely manages to get out of bed, picks at meals that taste like sand, musters what little strength he has to lead sword lessons, endures pitiful looks and sympathetic speeches.

Luke gets lost in the past more than he should, oftentimes sitting on the beach talking to you as he watches the waves roll in or sneaking out to the dock in the middle of the night to be in the company of the only person he can stand.

By the time summer comes back around, Luke is sure of three things.

He isn’t ever going to be the same again.

You should still be alive.

He won’t rest until he’s torn Olympus down brick by brick.

“It’s quiet here,” Luke said.

“That’s what happens when you don’t have any siblings,” you murmured.

His eyes trailed over to the door and you nudged him with your shoulder. “What do you keep looking over there for? Scared someone’s gonna catch us?”

He shrugged. “We’re technically not allowed to be in here together.”

“They can’t say anything,” you said. “We’re both counselors. And no one’s in this place anyways. Besides,” you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, “we’ve earned all the time in the world.”

Luke smiled and snaked an arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “You think so?”

“We lost two years together,” you said, laying your head on his chest. “Far as I’m concerned, no one can say a damn thing to us.”

“It always feels like we talk about the past,” he said. “What about the future?”

“All I know is I want you in it,” you mused. You always loved resting on his chest because you could hear his heartbeat, could feel the slight rise and fall from his breathing. It meant he was alive, and after what you’d been through, that was more valuable than anything.

“Obviously,” Luke said coyly. “I want you in mine too. But what about the details?”

“We gotta finish high school first,” you said. “Have you thought about what I said?”

“...Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s just been a while since I’ve left camp. Going back to school seems rough for someone who hasn’t been in classes since elementary school.”

You shook your head. “Which is exactly why my school would be perfect for you. We left at the same age, remember?” You took his hand and began to trace the lines of his palm. “It took some getting used to, but I made it. If I can, so can you—and I’ll help you every step of the way.”

Luke chuckled softly. “I’m a little worried about leaving Annabeth.”

“Annabeth of all people would support you going for your education,” you said. “And it’s not like she’ll be on her own—everyone likes her here.”

“...Talk me through it,” Luke decided. “Say we both go back for the school year. What does a sophomore year for the two of us back in Boston look like?”

“Well, we’d be living together. We have an extra room in our apartment, and I’m sure I can convince my mom to let you take it.” You let out a sigh as you shifted, moving closer into Luke’s side. “We’d take the T together to school, but you don’t have to worry because I can show you around everywhere.”

He chuckled. "I could use a refresher on Boston. Don't have the fondest memories there."

"We'll just make some new ones," you promised. “I’m on the soccer team, too. I was JV this year, but I’m gonna make varsity next fall—mark my words.”

Luke rubbed your shoulder as he hummed. “And I’d come to every game.”

“You better.” You glanced up at him with a smile. “You could try out for something too. I think you’d make a killing in basketball.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Do you not remember all those pick-up games we played when we were younger and bored? I was gods-awful.”

“This’ll be different,” you insisted. “You’ll actually be sleeping on a bed every night, and eating consistently. I think that makes you a better athlete. Plus, you’re not three feet tall anymore.”

Luke laughed as he intertwined your fingers together. “The star soccer player and the mediocre basketball player. We make quite a couple.”

“You’d be better than mediocre,” you said. “Anyways—we’d play our sports and kill it, I’d introduce you to all the friends I made last year, I’d show you all around Boston, and I’d get you hooked on the Red Sox.”

He leaned back against the headboard with a chuckle. “You’re really never gonna let this go, are you?”

“It’s my sovereign duty to put you onto the Red Sox,” you said, “especially surrounded by all these Yankees. I’m gonna get you to a game one of these days. And after we kill sophomore year, we’ll kill junior and senior year.” You tapped on his chest for each year with your free hand, and his smile grew. “Then we’ll graduate high school together. With honors, and monster-free.”

“You have such high standards,” Luke said wryly. “I’ve always thought I’d be lucky to pass with C’s.”

“You haven’t always had me,” you mused. “And when we’re together, we can’t lose.”

Luke smiled as he looked at your intertwined hands. “Y’know, I think your plan sounds pretty good. I’m pretty sure I could put up with school if it meant more time with you.”

You leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. Luke moved his hand to keep you there, and when you pulled away, a delicate blush painted his cheeks and pure love danced in his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile.

You were the luckiest girl in the world.

“Thank you,” you said.

Luke offered a sideways grin. “For what?”

You shrugged. “For being you.”

“Thank you, then,” he said.

“For what?”

“For sticking with me,” Luke said. “Through everything.”

“I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else,” you murmured.

The second year isn’t any easier.

Luke is back to being year-round. There’s no point in going home—not when Connecticut hasn’t welcomed him in years. Not when he would just be another problem for your mother in the midst of her grief.

So he stays at camp. Endures the pitiful looks from everyone, lies his way through attempted therapy with Chiron, trains more than ever before. No one seems to know how to treat him, because he goes from completely alone to swarmed with sympathy to completely alone again. It takes two months before his friends are acting like he’s a normal person again, and even then it still feels like they’re walking on glass.

Luke can’t find enough inside of him to care.

He practices with his sword until he feels like his arms might fall off, only narrowly avoiding the harpies each night. His siblings ask how he does it, why he does it, and he just says he wants to get better.

But Luke refuses to let it happen again—not when his surrogate sister is all he has left. Not when he sees you every time he closes his eyes.

His birthday comes and goes, but seventeen is empty without you. He replays your past conversations in his head, about traveling together and graduating together and maybe even going to college together. Demigods aren’t meant to think about the future, but he dared to dream with you.

And the worst part was that you were right. You made varsity. You were in the middle of killing sophomore year, despite Luke struggling his way through with C’s and the occasional D—you had always been smarter than him. You got him out to a Red Sox game, and gods forbid, he actually enjoyed it.

You were living the life you deserved, a life of happiness and success and with Luke, and you didn’t even make it past sophomore year. You were meant for so much more, and every day he questions why it was taken from you. Every day, he questions why you’re gone and he’s not.

The year chugs on in all its misery, and for the first time since he all but rejected him as his son, Hermes appears to Luke.

His father gives him a quest, and he takes it despite the inherent insult of it. Maybe some part of him hopes he’ll die out there and finally get to see you again.

(Another part wonders if he’s even worth Elysium. Luke lost you once, then he lost Thalia, and now he’s lost you again. Some kind of hero he is.)

He goes it alone. It takes him back to the first couple of months before he met you, and when the thought hits him, it almost overwhelms him. Everything makes Luke think of you, but it makes sense. He’s only living half a life—he’s missing the other half of his soul.

Luke fails his quest. He manages to get a claw and he manages to nearly lose an eye. There’s no glory in a repeated quest, but there might be even less glory in this.

And once more, Luke staggers back to camp as a victim rather than a hero. Someone only worthy of pity, someone so weak that Chiron bans quests unless they’re absolutely necessary. It takes weeks for the scars on his body to heal, and the mark on his face even longer. He becomes well-acquainted with the cycle of Apollo kids that take shifts in the infirmary.

He feels nothing but disgust every time he looks in the mirror. After all, the claw marks ripping their way through his body match yours. Sometimes he wishes Ladon finished the job.

It doesn’t make sense why, after everything, he’s still here.

Luke can hardly stand to be at camp, but he’s got nowhere else to go. He gets better at hiding his emotions, better at acting like he’s gotten through it. New demigods show up and he’s not the bereaved counselor anymore—he’s not introduced with his grief. He hides it away.

No one wants to deal with all the problems he’s racked up. His mom, his dad, Thalia, you. He’s a demigod. Demigods are resilient. So he plays the part—he’s been through a lot, but he’s past it. He promises he’s not a burden anymore. He’s just a normal kid.

And for a while, Luke is almost able to believe it himself. He’s never going to be over you, but he starts feeling like a person again rather than a ghost of one. He’s fully taken over the mantle of counselor again, and he’s actually present during sword-fighting lessons. He even manages to get a six-month-long capture the flag winning streak going on.

And then Kronos appears in his dreams.

Luke knows Greek mythology. It’s hard not to pick up a couple things when you’re fighting stuff from the history books, but they teach some lessons at camp. It’s nice to know what you’re up against before you die a brutal death.

Kronos killed his father. He ate his children. Every wicked deed was done for power, and power is what he offers Luke.

And maybe there’s something wrong with him, because it’s the first time he’s felt hope since he left Boston.

Luke finally has an answer to something. He’s been silently cursing the gods for years, trying to figure out a way to tear everything down without getting himself immediately killed, and he’s got one.

Kronos speaks to him most nights. He remembers the dreams you shared with him in your final year, all the restless hours spent sitting together on the fire escape as he soothed you. You thought Kronos was the reason for it, but he couldn’t have been. His dreams were nothing like yours.

But still, Luke wonders every day what you would say if you were here, if you knew the treacherous path he’d embarked on. Kronos promised power, freedom, an end to Olympus and the reign of the gods.

He doesn’t care about power. He just wants to hold you again. He wants to hear your laugh again. He wants to see your smile in more than pictures.

But he can’t. And he wants to destroy everyone responsible for it.

So he does everything the Titan Lord asks of him. He hones his skills even further, he lays low, and when the time is right, he steals Zeus’s bolt and Hades’ helm. Luke even nearly beats Ares when he’s caught, but Kronos doesn’t lead him astray—he speaks of divine war, and he gets out of it.

He continues to see you. Kronos doesn’t lead him astray, but he punishes him for such a close call. Luke wakes in the middle of the night, eyes wide and chest heaving with labored breaths, and he feels your blood on his hands all over again. He sees you die over and over again and he can do nothing to stop it.

You always told each other about your nightmares.

That’s the hardest part of it all. You’ve always been so closely intertwined with Luke’s life since the moment he saved you in that aquarium years ago, and he can’t see any way to let go of you. He can’t—even though you’re gone, you’re still a part of him. His first instinct in any situation is to tell you, and it kills him that he can’t.

And maybe things would have turned out different for Luke if you were still around. He’s never going to forgive himself for your death, and he’s certainly never going to forgive the gods. Thalia pushed him to the edge, but you were the breaking point. Luke is only nineteen and he’s loved and lost more than most.

Maybe things would be different if you were here. But you’re not, and they aren’t. So when a new demigod shows up, covered in monster dust and nearly dead on camp’s doorstep with Grover in tow, Luke doesn’t hesitate.

He killed the Minotaur, and his mom is dead. Skilled enough to take on a quest, desperate enough to ignore a couple warning signs. Percy Jackson is the boy Kronos told him about.

So Luke takes him under his wing. Shows him around camp, welcomes him to the Hermes cabin, trains with him one-on-one.

Something about his spirit reminds him of you. It’s the grit, he thinks. The determination. The refusal to back down even when it’s the smartest option. When he asks about you that night in the Hermes cabin, Luke’s heart stutters. The kid is too sharp for his liking.

It doesn’t take long before Luke manages to cement himself as one of his friends, maybe only third to Annabeth and Grover. He’s a lost kid that’s been thrust into a world he doesn’t understand, and Luke is the closest thing to a rock most campers have got.

It’s supposed to just be a guise, but sometimes, he forgets himself. He likes Percy too much—he just feels too much like a younger brother, and that’s not really good for the already growing guilt in his chest.

Maybe it’s because Luke sees himself in Percy. Someone playing a part he’s not aware of, an unfortunate pawn with no choice in the matter. Luke tries to push it away. Kronos wouldn’t lead him astray—this was the path he had to take if he wanted anything to change.

But it’s not like that makes it easier. Because gods, Percy has never looked more like a kid than when he’s suited up in armor for capture the flag. It almost makes Luke regret the plan he has to enact.

Almost.

Annabeth has a plan as usual, and thankfully Percy plays the part of bait. Luke tunes out of everything else and lets his battle senses take over—things have already been set into play, and now all Luke can do is hide in plain sight. Soon enough he’s got the red team’s flag past the boundary line, and he’s hoisted up onto his teammates shoulders. Luke is almost able to forget what he’s done.

…Almost.

A howl rips through the forest, and the hellhound Luke summoned after the start of the game launches itself at Percy. He’s on the ground before he knows it, the flag forgotten in his hand as he rushes over with the rest of the campers.

For some ungodly reason, Annabeth tries to step in front of him, but she’s thankfully too slow. The monster swipes at Percy and its claws shred through his armor. For a split second, Luke is back in Boston and his chest stills.

Chiron solves the problem with a cluster of arrows, but the camp is in immediate disarray. Clarisse instantly accuses Percy, Annabeth is trying to make sure Percy doesn’t die, and Luke just hopes his shock is believable enough to hide his annoyance. He’s just a scrawny kid—how the hell is he still alive? But then the unthinkable happens.

Annabeth tells Percy to step back in the lake. The instant he’s in the water, what should have been a fatal wound starts to heal.

And then a glowing blue trident appears above Percy Jackson’s head.

Luke feels sick as he lowers himself to one knee with the rest of camp. As the hellhound he summoned melts into the shadows, as he stares at the sacrificial lamb of a demigod meant to unknowingly enact his plan.

“Poseidon,” Chiron says. “Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God.”

Your brother.

#luke castellan x reader #luke castellan fic #luke castellan angst #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #pjo x reader #x reader #daughter of poseidon #child of poseidon #sadie writes

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apeekintothepantry · 2 months

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Meet Violet Fielding, my original historical character from 1918 Boston!

I've been doing some workshopping with my custom historical characters because I've been a little bored with AG's historical offerings of late, and because it's a fun excuse to dig into moments in time that interest me personally, but AG probably wouldn't produce a similar character themselves. (I say that, but my 1940's Hawaii character predates Nanea, so who knows! Maybe I'm manifesting some future stuff I can borrow for my gals.)

Violet is the youngest of three siblings. Her older sister Alice is in her early 20's and either a nurse or a Hello Girl, leaning towards nursing because I'm not sure I want her to go overseas and she could work at a hospital in Boston during the war. Her older brother James is 19 and enlists in the Marines once the US enters World War I. I think by Violet Saves the Day, he's returned home dealing with quite a bit of "shellshock" and that becomes a somewhat major theme.

Her parents are pretty wealthy, and the family lives in a brownstone on Beacon Hill in Boston. Her dad is a doctor and mom is a suffragist who also gets involved in causes supporting the war effort. Both parents are very supportive of their kids following their passions and getting themselves out there in this still relatively new century, which is why Alice has been allowed to go to school instead of immediately marrying some wealthy guy.

Vi herself is a precocious and creative kid. I think she likes to draw and paint and generally be crafty and creative, which comes in handy when brainstorming ways she can support her brother overseas and the war effort more broadly. While she's not afraid to get her hands dirty, she does like typically girly things like having teatime and looking at catalogs filled with new dresses. Her book series would theoretically cover 1917 through 1919 or so, and touch on the war, Women's Suffrage, the Spanish Flu, shellshock, and possibly the Boston Molasses Disaster.

Currently I'm trying to come up with a best friend character for her, as she really needs a Nellie or Ruthie in her life with the age difference and both siblings being off doing exciting and scary things without her. There are a lot of different directions I could go in with said friend - fellow wealthy-ish kid feels boring, Boston had a lot of new immigrant communities in the 1910's, some of whom did live in a specific part of Beacon Hill, Boston historically struggles with insidious covert racism but was still a city with a number of prominent Black and Jewish communities - and nothing's quite clicked as perfect just yet.

Violet is a Marie-Grace doll with a Nanea wig. Someone was selling her on a Facebook group a few years ago and I immediately felt like she was a Violet and needed to join my crew. Her last name was inspired by Lady Dorothie Fielding, a British woman who drove an ambulance during WWI and received several awards for bravery and service. Fielding's letters home were published after her death and are a really fascinating look at what it was like on the front lines doing this incredibly dangerous and important work. I used it as a major primary source for an educational interactive I helped develop in one of my previous jobs.

#american girl doll #american girl #american girl dolls #agblr #ag doll #ag dolls #american girl oc #violet fielding

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girljeremystrong · 2 years

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*books with great love stories and plots that don’t just revolve around them.

SORROW AND BLISS by Meg Mason

Martha’s marriage is falling apart, because there’s something wrong with her but nobody has been able to tell her what. We go back in time to relive all the ups and downs of Martha and Patrick’s relationship to find out if they can make it out together. Beautiful story about mental health and love and family.

TOMORROW AND TOMORROW AND TOMORROW by Gabrielle Zevin

Sadie and Sam love each other but are never lovers and we follow their journey for 30 years, from Boston to California as they develop together a video game and a complicated personal relationship. Very fun book about gaming and being best friends who are often in love with each other and often very mad at each other.

UNLIKELY ANIMALS by Annie Hartnett

Emma flies home from California to New Hampshire as a Med school dropout when her dad is diagnosed with a brain disease. At home her parents are in a fight, her brother is just out of rehab and her childhood best friend is missing. She scrambles to find her feet and pull everyone together. This is such a CUTE, heart lifting book with great characters and GHOSTS.

NEVER LET ME GO by Kazuo Ishiguro

Kathy, Tommy and Ruth are three best friend who have grown up in an English boarding school. But throughout their childhood many things felt wrong and as they grow and leave school they realize just how many secrets were kept from them. It’s a love story! It’s a mystery! It’s a critique of human arrogance!

NO LAND TO LIGHT ON by Yara Zghaeib

Hadi and Sama are a Syrian couple living in the USA. As they are waiting for the birth of their son, Hadi leaves to visit his family and then their lives are uprooted by a travel ban. Sama and Hadi are forced apart and as the physical and emotional distance between them grows, they try to find their way back to each other. This is a pretty sad one, I can’t lie, but such a beautiful story.

YOUNG MUNGO by Douglas Stuart

Mungo meets James in their housing estate in Glasgow. They are young and lonely, they become friends and they fall in love. Unfortunately Mungo is a Protestant and James is a Catholic, and where they’re from these things matter, especially to Mungo’s brother, a violent gang leader. This is not a very happy book either but it is THE best story about being young and falling in love. PLEASE READ THIS. Then come talk to me about it.

REAL LIFE by Brandon Taylor

Wallace is working toward a degree in the Midwest. But he’s Black and he’s queer and he feels distance between himself and his colleagues. We follow him through a summer weekend he spends with his college friends, finding out truths about them and about himself. I will never tire of recommending this book. It’s just so interesting and well written. And lovely words about the start of a relationship.

THE NIGHT CIRCUS by Erin Morgenstern

There is a circus that arrives without warning and is only open at night. Behind the scenes two magicians, Celia and Marco, are involved in a duel they’ve been training for since childhood. But despite all that, they fall in love. This is a fantasy novel that will for sure appeal to any fans of the genre. It’s fun and the aesthetics are sublime.

OPEN WATER by Caleb Azumah Nelson

Two young people meet at a pub in South East London. Both are Black British, both won scholarships to private schools where they struggled to belong, both are now artists - he a photographer, she a dancer - trying to make their mark in a city that by turns celebrates and rejects them. Tentatively, tenderly, they fall in love. So beautiful, so well written. Reads like falling in love feels like. LOVE IT.

SWIMMING IN THE DARK by Tomasz Jedrowski

Set in early 1980s Poland against the violent decline of communism, a tender and passionate story of first love between two young men who eventually find themselves on opposite sides of the political divide. It’s beautiful and poetic and quite sad. Stunning characters, stunning descriptions.

LAST NIGHT AT THE TELEGRAPH CLUB by Malinda Lo

Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can’t remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club. This is so SWEET. Lily is such a great character and her story fills your heart with pain and glee and pride. I love this book and this wonderful story.

EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM WILL SOMEDAY BE DEAD by Emily R. Austin

Gilda, a twenty-something lesbian, cannot stop ruminating about death. Desperate for relief from her panicky mind and alienated from her repressive family, she responds to a flyer for free therapy at a local Catholic church, and finds herself abruptly hired as a receptionist. Through all of this she finds a girlfriend. And it’s sweet and slow and lovely.

THE PROPHETS by Robert Jones Jr.

A novel about the forbidden union between two enslaved young men on a Deep South plantation. Isaiah was Samuel’s and Samuel was Isaiah’s. That was the way it was since the beginning, and the way it was to be until the end. Goes without saying, this is a sad story that will make you cry and will make you angry. But it is so so beautiful.

YOLK by Mary H.K.Choi

Jayne and June are two sisters living in New York after growing up in Texas. Jayne is struggling through fashion school, while her sister has a hot shot job in finance and a big apartment. They are sort-of estranged until June is diagnosed with cancer. The first love story in this book is between the sisters, but there is a budding romance for Jayne that is so sweet. This is a sweet book. I love it.

EARLY MORNING RISER by Katherine Heiny

Jane falls in love with Duncan easily. He is charming, good-natured, and handsome but unfortunately, he has also slept with nearly every woman in Boyne City, Michigan. A wise, bighearted, boundlessly joyful novel of love, disaster, and unconventional family. This feels like Gilmore Girls but better.

A TIP FOR THE HANGMAN by Allison Epstein

Christopher Marlowe, a brilliant aspiring playwright, is pulled into the duplicitous world of international espionage on behalf of Queen Elizabeth I. I also will never tire of recommending this novel about stupid Kit Marlowe becoming a spy while crushing hard on his best friend. It’s just so fun and so good.

THE BAD MUSLIM DISCOUNT by Syed M. Masood

It is 1995, and Anvar Faris is a restless, rebellious Pakistani boy whose family moves to start life over in California. At the same time, Safwa, a young girl suffocating in war-torn Baghdad with her grief-stricken, conservative father will find a very different and far more dangerous path to America. The fates of two remarkably different people intertwine and set off a series of events. It’s very good, the characters are great and the relationship is very realistic.

THE STORIED LIFE OF A.J. FIKRY by Gabrielle Zevin

A. J. Fikry is cynical but lovable. His wife has died and his bookstore is experiencing the worst sales in its history. Slowly but surely, he is isolating himself from all the people of Alice Island. But there’s Amelia, the lovely and idealistic (if eccentric) Knightley Press sales rep who keeps on taking the ferry over to Alice Island. Such a lovely book. Lovely and heatwarming with amazing characters and unpredictable plot.

WRITERS & LOVERS by Lily King

Blindsided by her mother's sudden death, and wrecked by a recent love affair, Casey Peabody has arrived in Massachusetts in the summer of 1997 without a plan. She waits tables in Harvard Square and rents a tiny, moldy room at the side of a garage where she works on the novel she's been writing for six years. When she falls for two very different men at the same time, her world fractures even more. Again this is just a lovely book. About love and grief and being lost.

AN AMERICAN MARRIAGE by Tayari Jones

Newlyweds Celestial and Roy are the embodiment of both the American Dream and the New South. He is a young executive, and she is an artist. But as they settle into the routine of their life together, they are ripped apart by circumstances. Roy is arrested and sentenced to twelve years for a crime Celestial knows he didn’t commit. BEAUTIFUL. Just masterful work. Will make you cry like a baby.

THE SONG OF ACHILLES by Madeline Miller

Achilles, "the best of all the Greeks," son of the cruel sea goddess Thetis and the legendary king Peleus, is strong and beautiful. Patroclus is an awkward young prince, exiled from his homeland. Brought together by chance, they forge an inseparable bond, despite risking the gods' wrath. I mean I like this. It’s poetic and romantic and it’s a classic story. Had to make the list...

TOM LAKE by Ann Patchett

Set during the pandemic when the main character and her three daughters are quarantining in their farm. The daughters get their mum to tell them the story of how she fell for and dated a famous actor while putting on a play in her 20s. VERY SWEET AND SPECIAL and also ann patchett can do no wrong!!!!

SIRENS & MUSES by Antonia Angress

The story of two very different girls who meet in art school. Lots going on in this book but it's all very poetic and interesting and the two main characters go through a lot but also like each other a lot.

IN MEMORIAM by Alice Winn

About two boys who meet in boarding school and then join war world I. It is insanely sad and it's a book about the war and about young people meeting terrible fates, but very romantic and they keep sending letters that are heartbreaking and they really love each other.

THE LATE AMERICANS by Brandon Taylor

About a group of friends and acquaintances who are all young and fucked up and all in different weird relationships but it's very interesting and Brandon Taylor also can do no wrong!!!!

TIN MAN by Sarah Winman

About two boys who meet in their youth and fall in love but then suddenly there's a time jump and it's been years and one of them is married to somebody else and the other one is nowhere to be found. Sad but also very special and definitely a book that is all about love.

LESS by Andrew Sean Greer

Pulitzer prize winning book about a novelist who receives an invitation to his ex boyfriend's wedding and is heartbroken so, suddenly, he finds himself coping by going on a world tour. It's funny and sweet and has a happy ending.

#OPEN WATER should have been n.1 in this list cause it doesn't get much more romantic than that #books #book recommendations #book recs #what if i tag #dark academia #just for the notes #bookblr #booksblr #young mungo #tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow #the song of achilles #last night at the telegraph club #swimming in the dark

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chainsawgvtsfvck · 7 months

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Please, I'm on my knees begging you to give me some nasty (to your personal liking and preferences, ofc!) Clay Roach HCs! 😩🙏🏻

As much as I love being the one writing for Clay so far, I have a mighty need to also consume someone else's thoughts about him!

You know me, I'm open for every- and anything.

And please don't stress yourself. Writers block is a bitch and I'm also totally cool with you not feeling this ask 🖤🫶🏻

Your wish is my command ~

Clay Roach HCs

Disclaimer: I haven’t actually watched much of city on a hill beyond Clay’s scenes because cop dramas are really not my thing, but dumb degenerates with Boston accents sure are 😮‍💨

* Secretly he is the biggest sweetie in the entire world. Like, bring you coffee in bed and kiss your hand type of sweet.

* Soooo vocal in bed. Constantly moaning and grunting and telling you how pretty you look on his dick :3

* BIG fan of fucking you up against windows and in front of mirrors. He just loves watching your pretty face come undone for him.

* Always has his hands on you, in public or in private. He just can’t help it.

* God forbid you go to a movie together or something, he’ll have his hands in your panties as soon as the lights lower.

* He’s usually one to take charge, but every once in awhile he lets you dom him. He’ll even call you Mommy if you ask nicely. He’s kinda smug about it at first but you can put him in his place.

* A well-placed face slap is very effective 💕

* Looooves morning sex. Half asleep while spooning you and kissing your neck.

* He has such a weakness for receiving hickeys. You can absolutely cover him and he’ll wear them with pride.

* If you bite his lip while you’re kissing him, he’ll pop a boner instantly.

#rory culkin #clay roach #city on a hill

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tkachuktkaching · 5 months

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Tkachuk brothers set for ‘healthy competition’ when Senators host Panthers

Brady of Ottawa, Matthew of Florida to play against one another for 19th time in NHL

The mutual admiration society that is the Tkachuk family will be on display once again Monday.

Matthew Tkachuk and his Florida Panthers visit Brady Tkachuk and the Ottawa Senators at the Canadian Tire Center with each Tkachuk brother and each team hungry for a victory.

The Panthers (12-7-1) have lost two in a row and are six points behind the Boston Bruins for first place in the Atlantic Division. The Senators (8-8-0) are eighth in the Atlantic and trying to keep pace in the race for a wild-card spot in the Eastern Conference.

At this point, though, they are used to high stakes when they face each other in the NHL.

“We are each other’s biggest fan,�� older brother Matthew said. “When we play against each other now, especially [being] in the same division, we have to beat each other, our teams have to win. It creates that healthy competition. It’s a very good relationship the two of us have.”

Now in their sixth season of going head-to-head in the best hockey league in the world, the brothers have learned to compartmentalize when they play each other.

They go hard against each other on the ice and it often gets heated. It is also mostly even.

They have played against one another 18 times in the NHL and each has won nine games. Each forward has scored six goals, including one on the power play. Brady has 25 penalty minutes, Matthew 23. Brady 62 shots on goal, one more than Matthew. Brady has a decided advantage in hits (64-31), but Matthew has 20 points to Brady’s 11 (statistics provided by NHL Stats).

Yet, it never spills over off the ice. There, they are staunch supporters of one another, displaying a bond that seems to intensify each season.

“I think he is the smartest player in the NHL,” Brady says. “How he sees the game, I don’t think anybody is up there with how he sees it. I think he is one of the best players in the NHL. I think everybody is finally starting to believe what I believed from Day 1, that he has such an impact and is so good at what he does.”

Matthew, 25, is coming off a run to the Stanley Cup Final last season. He was injured in the Final against the Vegas Golden Knights and the Panthers lost in five games, but Matthew was the unquestioned star for his team in the postseason after an MVP-worthy regular season when he had an NHL career-high 109 points (40 goals, 69 assists).

Brady, 24, was around for some of that playoff run. He showed up for the bigger games and even helped his brother get to the rink for Game 4 after Matthew sustained a broken sternum in Game 3. Matthew played in Game 4 but couldn’t go in Game 5.

“Going into [Game 4], I was a little nervous. What he did in that game, trying to work around it, the pain, not many people can do that,” Brady said. “I was super proud of him sacrificing himself to get the job for his team and the city. “Seeing how happy he made my family and how proud everyone was with what he did with that opportunity, I want that for me too. It created such a motivation. It’s an honor for him to be my brother and to learn from him.”

This season, after spending the offseason recovering from injury, Matthew has 17 points (three goals, 14 assists) in 20 games.

Brady has 15 points (10 goals, five assists) in 16 games and is giving his older sibling a run for personal bragging rights.

“On the ice, I’m probably more powerful, little better skater,” Brady says when asked for a comparison between he and his brother. “I don’t know, everything I do, I want to emulate him and emulate his game. I feel I’m starting to get there, but there’s a long way to go. He’s the perfect person to look up to on the ice.”

Matthew says that Brady already has “a way better” shot than him.

Brady is also the more physical player, each agrees.

“I don’t know if I’m much better than him at on-ice stuff anymore,” Matthew says.

They compete off the ice too, but Matthew is ready to abdicate the crown there on almost every front except one.

“He’s probably like an overall genuinely better person than me, I’m more of a [jokester] than he is, more of an instigator,” Matthew says. “He’s probably overall just a genuinely nicer human being. I will work on that.”

Brady, meanwhile, says he can’t hold a candle to his older brother on the golf course.

“I still kick his [butt] every time we play,” Matthew said, laughing.

Says Brady, “I got to figure that out.”

#matthew tkachuk #brady tkachuk #nhl #florida panthers #ottawa senators #the tkachuk's #chucky quotes #nhl.com

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cevansbrat0007 · 1 year

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Hey so the teaser of the upcoming story made me think of something what would happen if Andy came home and caught you using BOB without waiting for him?

Summary: Andy catches you breaking a very important rule during a punishment...

Warnings: Smut, Overstimulation, Ass Play, Butt Plugs, Cockwarming (mentioned), Daddy Kink, Bratty Reader, Pussy Spanking, Cursing, Public Sex (mentioned), Punishments, Minors DNI

A/N: Requested by the ever-incorrigible @writer84. Also dedicated to just a few of my fellow brats: @suckthatskittlebiiitch, @lexivass, @sarahdonald87. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are sincerely appreciated!

___

Holding your breath, you crack open the door to your husband’s home office. Of course you knew it would be empty, just like you knew better than to do, well…whatever it was you were about to do.

You slowly creep inside before taking a seat at the formidable-looking mahogany desk, taking a moment to brush your fingers across the smooth, polished surface. And then you pull a small, silver key out of your pocket and insert it into the lock on the top drawer. You twist it to the left, wiggling just a tad until you hear the soft snick of victory.

You then proceed to pull out the neatly organized compartment, smiling when you finally lay eyes on your prize. On the one thing that had you breaking all of the rules.

Now, to be fair, these weren’t your rules. In fact, this rather unpopular edict that you were about to defy had been issued by none other than the love of your life.

Andrew Barber.

It was because of him that you’d spent the last several days enduring a rather hellacious punishment. The kind of punishment that almost any other sane person would deem both cruel and unusual.

Your crime? Enjoying a little too much wine during your man’s last work function. Yep. That was it. That was all that happened.

Oh.

And there was also the slight possibility that your fingers had done a little wandering. Mostly under the table stuff – and only to show your appreciation for the gorgeous man on your arm who also happened to be one of several honorees that evening as well.

He’d looked sexy. You’d been horny. And therefore, you’d gotten a little handsy. Who would’ve guessed that the District Attorney for the City of Boston would be so against receiving an impromptu handjob in a room full of state officials and colleagues?

Certainly not you.

And eventually – after a number of very tense repeated denials, threats of punishment, and attempts at a distraction – you’d given up. Or so he’d thought.

But in all reality, you’d simply allowed yourself another generous glass of wine, or two, while planning your next move. Which involved pouting, followed by the bright idea to make him jealous by innocently flirting with several unsuspecting event attendees. Only for you to remember too little, too late that you were married to one of the most jealous and possessive men to have ever walked planet earth.

Yeah, you’d landed yourself in a heap of trouble that night. But what was funny was you’d been so damned tipsy by the end of it all that Andy hadn’t been able to deal with you beyond making sure you drank plenty of water and dosing you with Tylenol before bed.

After that, you were out like a light. But not Andrew – not your Big Man. He’d been left alone to stew. Which meant that when you’d awoken the next morning feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, you’d had to contend with a very grumpy husband.

As for your punishment, well…

He’d informed you over breakfast that you were being placed on restriction for the next week. You’d initially balked at that, thinking that he meant you weren’t allowed to watch television or something equally ridiculous. Only to realize that he was talking about something much, much worse.

Namely, your orgasms.

Andrew Barber was restricting your ability to cum for the next seven days. Which might as well have been a fucking lifetime!

Stunned, you’d continued to sit there in silence, mouth agape, as he'd went about enjoying his biscuits and gravy. Of course you’d tried to argue, and when that hadn’t worked you resorted to begging. And then back to pouting.

And to add insult to injury, your man had also taken away your toys. Every single one of them. Your Andy Bear hadn’t even batted an eyelash as he’d gathered them up so that he could lock them away until you’d finished with your punishment.

But the thing about it is that he never intended to make this easy for you. Every night you were unfairly subjected to hours of hedonistic torture at his large, powerful hands. Your man had relished in teasing you -- loving every moment of the sensual torture.

Driving you towards the brink again and again before pulling back. Reveling in your pain and sexual frustration – taking pleasure in every sweet moan and cry that spilled its way past your lips. But if you’d thought, even for a moment, that the man you loved more than anything in this world was going to suffer at your side, you’d been sorely mistaken. Oh, how naive you’d been.

Because your being placed on so-called "restriction" hadn’t stopped your man from fucking you senseless. If he wasn’t wrecking your throat, then he was balls deep in your ass. But he never took you in the one way that you desired most.

Your poor, neglected pussy.

That was the one part of you he’d been content to leave empty and wanting. Every night when Andy was finished with you, the bastard had parted your thighs to bestow a kiss on your weeping cunt. Always whispering a litany of filthy words against your most intimate flesh, promising to take good care of her and you as soon as you learned your lesson. Although it did little to quell the ever-present ache between your legs.

God, he was an asshole.

But in spite of it all, you’d somehow managed to last five days. Five long fucking days of being in nothing but a constant, all consuming state of arousal. And you knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was no way you were going to last two more.

At least not without some kind of relief. At this point you were fucking desperate for it, which is why you decided to take matters into your own hands and do a little snooping. And once you’d located the key to Andy’s desk there’d been no turning back.

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you rifle through your selection of vibrators, most of which you never really used unless Andy was with you. The only exception was if one of you happened to be away on business or something, but even then, your man always made sure he was available to witness your pleasure via FaceTime.

That man was so goddamned greedy for you all of the time that you were at least partially convinced that he needed to seek professional help. However, the last time you’d hinted at something like that, all you’d gotten in return was a chuckle before he’d lowered you down on his thick cock and made you ride him on the back patio.

Good times.

You let out a soft squeal of delight when you come across your current favorite toy – the Satisfyer Pro 2. Andy loved playing with that in the bath since it was waterproof. He, and it, always left you a boneless, quivering mess by the time you were finished. And then he would pluck your limp body from the water before gently drying you with a towel so that he could ravage you again from the comfort of your bed.

Yes, you’d make yourself feel better by relieving some of this pent up tension with the help of your trusty Satisfyer Pro. That would hit the spot – literally.

Excitement courses through your veins as you remove your leggings, letting them fall to the ground in a forgotten heap. You were about to show your Big Man that he didn’t run shit in around this house, including you. It was high time that you reminded him that this was your pussy, not his. And furthermore, he was lucky that you let him sample your charms as often as you did anyway.

“Fuck you, Andrew Barber.” You power-on the vibrator and lean back in the chair before propping your feet up on the desk and splaying your legs wide. A low, guttural moan escapes the moment the toy makes contact with your impossibly sensitive clit. “You’re not the boss of me.” Your head tips back in bliss as you increase the intensity of the suction by several notches.

“You sure about that, baby girl?” A deep voice calls from somewhere just outside the door.

You immediately freeze in place as the massager slips from your grasp. It hits the floor with a dull thud, all the while continuing to buzz.

Holy fucking shit!

“Uhh…” You stammer as your head swings around to meet your husband’s dark gaze. “H-hi…”

“Looks like I caught you at a bad time, huh?” Andy shoves his hands in the pockets of his dark gray slacks before crossing his legs at the ankle and resting his hip against the doorframe. “Apparently my naughty little wife has been quite the busy bee.”

“An–Andy…honey…” You can hear the sound of your pulse crashing in your ears, temporarily drowning out your ability to think clearly. Because whether it was said or not, you both knew that you’d just fucked up.

Big time.

“Hush.” Without missing a beat, you watch as he pulls his phone out of his pocket to quickly scroll through his contacts before pressing it to his ear. “Hey, Samantha, I’m afraid I’m going to need you to push back my twelve-o’clock with Duke Higsby.” He chuckles into the receiver as you squirm in your seat, silently wishing that you had the stones to simply throw on your leggings and bolt.

As if he wouldn’t catch you.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Do me a favor and give him a call to see if he’s open to meeting me tonight for drinks. Tell him to bring the Missus too.” Andy winks at you, his perfect teeth gnawing at his lip. “Alright. I will definitely be back at the office in time for my three-o’clock. Yep. Thank you. Appreciate it.” He ends the call, tucking the device safely away before returning his full attention back to you.

“Okay –” You begin again, finally finding your voice. “It’s not – this is all so not what you think. I mean, I know what it looks like, but if you’ll just let me explain –” Andy is quick to cut you off with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“I’ve seen all I need to see, thank you very much.” You let out a shaky breath as your husband begins to roll up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. “But frankly, I can’t say I’m all that surprised.” His eyes are filled with disappointment.

“But I –”

“Quiet!” He barks, making you jump. And then he strides towards you, reaching down to pick up your still pulsing vibrator. He takes a moment to examine it before calmly switching it off. “I almost didn’t come home this morning, but I’m glad I did.” You feel your cheeks heat when you realize that the object is so covered in your slick that it’s damn near impossible to miss. “Because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have caught my baby breaking such a big rule. Isn’t that right?”

You head bobs in agreement.

“And did Daddy give you permission to play with his pussy when he was fucking your sweet mouth this morning before he left work?”

You wordlessly shake your head “no”. Seemed like the best policy right about now.

“Hm. Didn’t think so.” Andy tosses your toy across the room so that it lands on his small couch. “Stand up, little brat. I need to survey the damage you’ve done to my cunt. I don’t think you had enough time to make yourself cum, but I want to make sure.” His eyes stray to your core, paying close attention to the swollen nub threatening to peek out from between your slippery folds.

“Good girl.” He praises when you eagerly do as he bids. And then he opens his arms, beckoning you forward. A slightly mocking smirk graces his lips when he sees you openly hesitate instead of obeying this time around. “Aww, c’mon, sweetheart. Just let Daddy check you out so he can be sure of how to proceed.”

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, hating how pitiful you sounded even to your own ears. “But if you think about it, this is kind of all your fault, Big Ma–I mean, Daddy.” Your face scrunches up at the slight flare of his nostrils.

“Oh, is it?” Andy grunts, clearly running out of patience. He swoops you up in his brawny arms, giving you an affectionate squeeze before depositing you on his desk. “And how do you figure that one?”

“Be-because you’ve been so mean to me lately. You left me no choice but to do something to take the edge off.” You huff, poking out your bottom lip even as your much larger husband looms over you.

A lesser woman would be intimidated, but deep down you knew that he wouldn’t really hurt you, at least not without adding a little dose of pleasure to go right along with it.

Andy leans in for a kiss, drawing your bottom between his teeth and sucking it into his mouth – eliciting a soft whimper from you. “I can’t believe that I have to remind my baby of this particular fact, but Daddy could’ve sworn that he made it very clear that you were on restriction until this coming Sunday.” He murmurs as he glides his lips over yours once more.

“But it’s not fair to make me suffer the way I have, especially not for this long.” You whine, attempting to weave your arms around his neck long enough to hold him in place for more kisses. But at the same time you also knew that he would not allow himself to be so easily swayed.

He slowly untangles himself from you and places your arms at your side. “Well, little girl, perhaps you should’ve thought about that before you tried to give me a handjob under the goddamned table -- three fucking times!” Your husband rakes a frustrated hand through his hair.

“I said I was sorry!”

“And when the fuck was that, exactly?” Andy snarls before gripping your knees with his big hands and yanking your thighs apart. “Before or after I was finally forced to drag your fine ass into one of the private bathrooms to make you behave?” His heavy palm comes down hard on your vulnerable cunt, the wet slap echoing throughout his office.

“Ow!” You hiss, clenching your knees together in an attempt to shield yourself from the next blow.

“Oh, baby.” Your man tuts as he smacks at your damp flesh twice more. in succession “You were in rare form that night, letting this disrespectful little pussy right here run the whole goddamned show. Being so fucking greedy and unreasonable.”

“But you spanked me!” You cry when he strikes again, sending pleasure-filled shockwaves through your already spasming core.

“Only after you made it clear that stuffing you full of my cock wasn’t enough! What else was Daddy supposed to do with you, little love?” His fingers roughly pinch your clit before resuming your punishment. “You left me with no choice.”

So, there might’ve been a small grain of truth to that. You weren’t sure what had you so revved up. Maybe it was the fact that you’d both spent a good chunk of the past month away from each other on business. Perhaps you hated being without him a little bit more than you necessarily cared to admit.

Well, fuck!

“I know we’ve spent a lot of time apart recently, sweetness. I do.” Andy delivers one last sharp smack to your throbbing center before flipping you onto your belly. “But there are so many other, better ways to get my attention, sweetheart. And I just bet that you could do it without throwing a fucking tantrum. What do you think?” You bite your fist as a fresh wave of pain suddenly blossoms across your upturned bottom.

He briefly steps away from you to make his way around to the other side of his desk to retrieve something from another compartment. “Asked you a question, brat. And I sure would like to hear your answer.” Andy holds up what appears to be a glittering, jeweled butt plug up to the light. It's bigger than any of the ones you've ever, erm, played with before.

“I – I should’ve tried to…” You taper off as your husband’s free hand then fishes out a bottle of lube from that same drawer. “I’m sorry for simply reacting instead of telling you how I was feeling.”

There we go. Progress. Now maybe he could put those weapons of mass destruction away.

“S’alright.” Once he’s behind you again, you hear him pop the cap on the vial. And then you feel a handful of cool drops trail their way down the exposed crack of your ass, followed by the sensation of something thick and invasive prodding its way against your puckered back hole. “Daddy’s awfully proud of you, princess. And you wanna know something else?”

You exhale out another series of strained breaths as Andy begins working the toy in and out of your tiny ring of muscles. “Ooh, Daddy – I! Shit!” He never once lets up – even as you inadvertently rise on your toes to meet his thrusts.

“I hear you, sweet girl.” The plug finally slips its way past your defenses, stretching you so completely that you temporarily see double. “But right now, Daddy’s gotta finish getting this new punishment plug settled deep in your naughty little ass." Andy spreads your cheeks so that he can openly admire his delicate handiwork. "And then I’m gonna let you sit on my cock and keep me warm while I respond to all of the emails I’ve missed while taking care of you.”

He smooths a gentle hand through your curls, loving the soft feel of them as he gathers his composure. “You’re also gonna keep that plug in the rest of the fucking day, understand me?” You let out a small shriek when his hand connects with your left cheek before giving it a harsh squeeze. “If you prove to be a good girl who’s capable of following instructions, perhaps I’ll consider removing it tonight in-between cocktails with the Higsbys.”

“O-okay, Daddy.” You bite back a moan as you feel yourself getting lost in the sensations. You felt so goddamned full like this, completely stuffed to the brim.

“However, if you disobey me, little one – if I catch even so much as a hint of it from you – Daddy’s gonna haul your sweet ass off to the nearest bathroom and rail you so hard that you won’t be able to sit properly for the rest of the night.” He presses a tender kiss to your brow before standing up to unzip his pants.

“And I can tell you right now that I won't give a damn about who sees me. Or who hears you.” Andy hisses, fisting a hand in your hair and tugging as he leads you towards the couch. “Now, c’mon and have a seat, beautiful." He eagerly pats his lap as he removes his impressive erection from its confines. "Before Daddy forgets that you’re supposed to be keeping him warm and decides he's better off fucking you senseless right here…”

He grips his shaft, stroking himself from base to tip as you prepare to lower yourself onto him.

“Right now.”

END

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glasskey · 7 months

Text

The Boston Globe Episodes

Today I’m going to talk about The Boston Globe episode and how it paved the way for Nick, June and Holly’s journey. The Boston Globe episode is a powerful statement about the break down of truth in the face of dictatorships, and the threat of it in current political climates. In regards to the future of these characters, the episodes featuring the Boston Globe are extremely pivotal.

It’s telling that Nick and June spend the first 3 months of their babies life together at the now haunted and abandoned Boston Globe. Its the place where knowledge and truth once flowed and it’s where we truly begin to see how Holly is used as a vehicle to tell a larger tale. Here the printing presses are all painted in handmaids red, nooses hand from the rafters and bullet holes punctuate the walls like the final word in the resistance. It’s no coincidence that Holly undergoes her most formative months in this broken down home of free knowledge and information, as she will be fundamental to the restoration of democracy to her country.

It’s also the place where Nick and June begin to truly fall in love with one another. Nick and June have sex, at last unrestrained by the boundaries of the Waterford household, and there’s a lustful abandonment to it bred by years of captivity. We’re finally given a glimpse into their somewhat free life away from Gilead. Blaine’s always been somewhat of an enigma, stoic, dutiful and domesticated. But here in the semi free world we see the layers are almost instantly stripped away, he becomes immediately emotional and vulnerable….years of service have suffocated him.

These are their child’s most developmental months and it is the most formative moments of their relationship, where their feelings grow into a lasting bond. By the time she returns to the Waterfords, their child is well on its way to being fully formed, just as is her relationship with Nick. By the time their child is born, their bond will be forged and they will love each other entirely. It’s no coincidence that when Nick is married off to Eden, June almost miscarries.

June wanders around the secret location dressed in Blaine’s clothes, she’s in her first trimester, she’s wearing the t shirt she took off him the first night they were together and very possibly the night they conceived Holly. His clothes act like some kind of personal shield, it’s the best he can do in his absence. Later as she makes the Globe her home, she jogs between the small cities of presses to a shrine she has erected, an assortment of mementos and photographs from the surrounding desks. Just like the Handmaids letters, she intends to keep their stories alive, their voices heard.

Upstairs she gathers old editions and pieces together the story of the The Sons of Jacob and their rise to power. As Holly grows in her womb, rebellion grows in her heart and June returns to the Waterfords with a crystalized intent to destroy Gilead. Nick looks at the wall of clippings reconstructing his past and begins to truly understand, this is the moment when Blaine’s loyalties truly turned. He tries to convince her to go, he’s understandably worried about her future and the future of his unborn child….he should be, it’s a girl.

The two share a morning cup of coffee and there’s the facade of a normalcy as we get a glimpse of Nick and June as a couple in the real world. “If I wake you then you leave, how is that a win for me?” She asks him. Atwood’s text describes June as no longer wanting to leave Nick, June’s caught in a dream from which she no longer wishes to wake. The rare moment of domesticity in this moment is so brief, but overflowing with contentment. Just a flash and then it’s gone, like all the other precious moments of peace these two get.

#june osborne #hulu streaming #june x nick #max minghella #nick x june #nick blaine #osblaine #elisabeth moss #bruce miller #the handmaid's tale #handmaid's tale #handmaid's on hulu #hulu tv #s2 #margaret atwood #tv series

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waitmyturtles · 8 months

Text

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 5 ("CH-CH-CH-CHANGES / TURN AND FACE THE STRANGE") EDITION

Well, well, FUCKING well. Man, I am REELING. THAT. Was a HELL of an episode of a drama. Jojo and his team need to applaud themselves.

Let me set this up by sharing with y’all a tweet that really stuck with me after episode 4, but I think it’s pertinent to episode 5:

Now, yes -- this is a touch of a generalization (many of my queer friends are straight-edge-and-or-early-to-bed-while-living-in-cities folx), but I want to note something important in this tweet.

Before I got started on episode 5 last night, after having seen a lot of the meta and reactions on my dash throughout the day, I shot a note to dear @ranchthoughts that I thought I'd have to get a little #oldmom on this episode. Speaking to chibi's note above: toxicity happens to be a common human trait. Seeing that there was QUITE a bit of surprise for Boston's "outing" of Ray to Sand on my dash actually surprised me.

From my lawyer friends, I learned about the following concept, and I just cracked the fuck up the first time I heard it, because it rang really true once I got my head around it: a lawyer friend once told me that when he started out at a typical major American law firm, his orientation included hearing a presentation from an older managing partner about the idea of the "equal opportunity asshole." Meaning: there's workplace harassment against protected classes, like race-based or sex-based harassment. But: can you get sued if you treat EVERYONE AROUND YOU like shit? And, he didn't mean on a personal level, not on an attacking level. Just on an abrupt, aggressive level. A bossy level. A very direct-toned level.

That kind of interaction -- an interaction with an equal opportunity asshole -- we know those kinds of people, right? These kinds of folks are...titchy. They might jump to conclusions. They're rooted in their worldview ONE HUNDRED PERCENT. They lack empathy. They make you feel unsettled. They are emotionally disconnected from you. They have NO interest in being emotionally connected WITH YOU.

When I dove into episode 5, I really thought I'd be writing about Boston as the equal opportunity asshole, and I think that this theory still holds to a great extent, but -- there's a but, a slight and fascinating-to-me but, that I'll get to in a second.

@ranchthoughts did the thing once more of covering EVERYTHING in her episode 5 ephemerality breakdown, so dear Ranch, I'm just gonna repeat some stuff you said in my own words, if you don't mind. First off, a couple of gushes:

1) That blind dining scene had me swooning. "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get," was what I was hearing when I was watching that. These lovely idiots are blind to what's happening in front of them, and what that means to them -- BUT THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUNG. YOUNG AND INEXPERIENCED. The blind dining metaphor, oh gawd -- using your senses to come to realizations about how you're truly feeling, and how to connect better with WHAT you're feeling? Slamming my hands on the table! BRILLIANT. Mew is SO clueless (OR IS HE?!?!??!).

1.5) And -- remember (all you young folks out there!). Youth is fleeting (cc the Ephemerality Squad). What we're watching of this cohort of "friends" is their building their bases of life experiences NOW, that will TEACH them how they will live more EXPERIENCED lives in their futures. Will their lives be better? Who the fuck knows. But their FUTURE LIVES will be shaped by what they're experiencing NOW.

2) Ranch nailed this already, but Sand is just as bad as Ray in living in the annals of time. (He's also naughty for another reason, which I'll get into in a postscript.) He's got the vintage tees, he wants to rewind to Woodstock, he's a fan of mostly classic Brit rock (....I will not call the Arctic Monkeys classic Brit rock, I will not, thus, "mostly," lol.) Dear friend @neuroticbookworm described this phenomenon of Sand's in the frame of Ray dabbling in a day of poverty tourism, as essentially what his day and night with Sand constituted. But I'd also add that Sand's living in a fantasy world of a couple levels to break the monotony of his everyday life. Those flashes of hope that he'll travel to world to festivals one day -- as he clocks 450 baht (around $12 USD) per bottle, as he sings, as he gets up and gets down -- yes, Ray is his fantasy, his non-existent 25th hour, Ray is the break from monotony that Sand needs as a thing to look forward too. Of course it comes crashing down.

3) But it'll come crashing down anyway, because I will posit the following: Sand's survival fantasies are necessary to keep him going by way of motivation, because Sand is going to be held back by others, and not just Ray. Sand is caught in a trap of filial piety. (OH SHIT! GIMME!) He's paying off his mom's debts.

We don't know how much the debts are. [We're seeing in Dangerous Romance that Sailom is getting his ass beat if he and his brother don't pay the debt collectors on time every month. Shit, the debt collectors are even trying to make Sailom an escort (which then turns into Kanghan buying off Sailom himself, but lemme leave that alone, WRONG SHOW)]. But even Sand's mom admits: Sand is solving a problem of MY OWN CREATION. How good is my son? He's a very good son. Drink up, honey.

Sand thought of Ray: wow, this guy might be into me, and shit, I'm into him. And I could use this right now! I could use this break. And that illusion came crashing down when Sand -- an intelligent dude! -- put two and two together real fast. And Sand, very rightly -- because he is FAST learning independence, in a totally different way than the main OF quartet -- pulls the hell away, and puts away the fantasy of Ray at Alone O'Clock.

3.5) I just want to note, real quick, that we now have TWO of my favorite-ist themes in this show: we have intergenerational trauma by way of Ray, and filial piety by way of Sand. THANK YOU, JOJO AND TEAM! *This* bitch is TRACKIN'.

4) Big ephemerality note here: I just, I SWOONED, GOD, I LOVED IT, WHEN RAY REVEALED HIS MOTHER WAS AN ACTRESS. And that she was bitter about getting pregnant and how that affected her career. Are you kidding me? JOJO. NINEW. ALL OF YOU. BRILLIANT. The ephemerality OF SHOWBIZ ITSELF.

Aren't all these actors risking their damn careers by potentially BLOWING UP THEIR SHIPS for the sake of this show? (I mean, that's actually a little far-fetched, as FirstKhao will be the first GMMTV pair to have an intercontinental fanmeet, BUT STILL.) God, the commentary on the FICKLENESS of showbiz was just CHEF'S KISS.

5) As Ranch noted, this was the episode where CHANNNNNGGGGEEEEE was the big bell ringing. Top needed something different than his sexual monotony -- so he goes after Mew, and shit, homes is bored AF. (@lurkingshan covered this perfectly here.) Mew contemplates changing for Top, the LASIK, the sex, all of it. Top seems to try a different kind of sex with Mew -- soft and romantic sex that ends with "I love you." Nick (oh, my bubby Nick), changes for Boston, becomes ripped, finds buttons and slacks. Boston contemplates whittling his list down. Ray wears secondhand (lol, it's called "vintage," asshole). Sand changes his routine to accommodate Ray.

And yet. I very, very often say in my posts that the process of behavioral change is INCREDIBLY difficult.

The five stages of behavioral change are: pre-contemplation, contemplation (Nick and the podcast), preparation, action (Nick at the gym), and maintenance.

The risk to this process, at any point in time, is: RELAPSE.

Think of how difficult it is to quit smoking. To go on a diet. To start an exercise routine. To stop biting your nails.

What is the thing that marks these processes more than anything else?

It's the RELAPSE into the old behavior, the old habits.

We really saw Boston trying to change...something. Trying to stick out...something with Nick. Trying on something new. Kinda like the way Ray tried on his secondhand shirt.

And then Boston experiences a familiar trigger: a trigger of jealousy when Mew calls him, innocently, to give Boston the heads-up that he's about ready to experience some cherry magic.

And that trigger, like all of our own triggers -- stress, a change of environment, a change of the people around you -- sent Boston back to a place.

Listen, I will, in no way, ever defend Boston's behavior. He was drunk and high AF, and he's generally toxic. Jojo is totally egging this on.

I would absolutely call Boston an equal opportunity asshole. He's only seeing the world from his own worldview, his own desires, his own desire to control whatever he can control around him.

But like I said before: toxicity is FAR more common that we'd like to believe. And toxicity within someone doesn't disappear very easily -- just like any of our habits, be they good or bad habits.

Boston was trying out a new life, for a few minutes (lol), of being a LITTLE LESS EPHEMERAL, a little less aloof -- a little less toxic. And a trigger brought him back to his bad place, and I think what we saw in that damn outburst was a relapse of the highest order.

Ray repeats to Nick what Top and Cheum have already said. This guy, Boston? He's nasty. Stay away. Boston's an asshole. Boston's still being stigmatized, and still living up to his label.

How would I summarize all of this? Throughout this ENTIRE episode, what was screaming within my head, as I said above, was: youth is fleeting. Youth itself is ephemeral. The experiences these young folks are going through at this moment in this show will build their experiences for how they will survive (or not) in their futures.

We may think that Boston, and Ray, and Mew, will not learn from their dumbass behavior, but -- they will. They will have no choice. Because their time being this young, and inexperienced, and idiotic, will flee. They'll graduate, and they will have to learn how to survive in a "real" world that may very well be far more brutal to them than their proximate friendships are to them right now. And man, if they have to experience lives that are MORE brutal than these proximate friendships they have, then good LUCK to them, because, well -- shit. It ain't pretty the way it is right now.

...

P.S. I just thought this whole scene was brilliant. Sand, honey, you're not as innocent as your meow feelings are letting on. I'm holding you accountable for what you're saying to Ray, too.

P.P.S. JENNIE.

(HAPPY SUNDAY, EPHEMERALITY SQUAD! @ranchthoughts @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @distant-screaming @slayerkitty @clara-maybe-ontheroad @twig-tea)

(HEY, SQUAD: if you tag me in things, and I forget to reblog, send me a DM! I'm on the last stages of this moving chapter of my life, and I don't wanna miss your meta!)

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old-29 · 9 months

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Can I pls get a Jere x y/n thing like it's their first kiss and they've been friends for a while and Jere is likely really flirty

Delicate

by .O.L.D.

(Hopefully, you like this :) )

Summary: You and Jeremiah have a flirty relationship; he flirts and you get blushy, however, will things change at the last party at the beach house. Will you finally experience your first kiss with Jere?

Jeremiah Fisher. So many things come to mind when I hear that name. I’ve been in love with Jere since I was 8 years old, ever since I learned what love actually is. Jeremiah is someone I tell everything to. He knows almost everything about my life. The only thing we both never talk about is our love life. Yes, I know that Jere has a lot of hookups but because of that, I never tell him anything about my love life. That’s also because I don’t have one. I’ve never done anything with anyone including having my first kiss. I haven’t found someone, either then Jeremiah, that I’d want to experience that with. It doesn’t help that Jeremiah and I have a flirty relationship, as in he flirts and I get nervous and blushy. He is the only guy I see, the only guy I want to experience my firsts with. However, I could never tell him that.

I was sat next to Jeremiah in the car, stealing glances at him quite often. Conrad, Belly, Jere and I were all running errands for this party we are planning at the cousins beach house. We just found out that beach house is being sold, Jeremiah and Conrad’s aunt, Julia, is going to Boston to finalize everything. We decided to throw one last party for our last night here, at the beach house.

At this point, the glancing turned into complete staring. He was just so pretty, I couldn’t help it.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Shut up, Jere.”

“Like you would ever want me to do that. All I’m saying is that if you’re just going to stare at me all the time, I’ll get a photo album, fill it with super hot photos of me, then bam, happy birthday.”

I laughed. He tended to flirt with me more often.

We arrived at Party City and we decided to make some friendly competition; whoever fills their cart up first, wins, while the others load the decorations into the house.

“May the best person win.” I said.

I love me some competition. I was thriving the day at the boardwalk!

“Best of luck, gorgeous.”

With that, Jeremiah looks at me and winks.

I always thought I meant something more to Jeremiah. There’s this connection I feel and it is unexplainable. We always want to be around each other, we cuddle while watching movies, he kisses me on the cheek, he flirts with me and I always feel so many emotions when I’m around him. I just felt that all those actions meant something more. However, I never realized that I was the only one that must have felt it. I quickly began to understand that it’s just me that feels that way during the summer where he kissed my sister, Belly, in the beach house pool. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

I woke up after falling asleep reading in Belly and I’s shared room. Since I was really thirsty, I decided to go get a glass of water. The house was quieter than usual but I never suspected anything of it. As I filled up my glass full of cold water, I noticed the pool area’s lighting was on.

“Ah, Belly must be having one of her usual night swims.” I said to myself.

I began to make my way out to the pool to talk to my sister but then I saw them. Jeremiah and my sister were making out in the pool. I was full of pure shock and betrayal since Belly knew that I have loved Jere since I was a kid. I froze in place just staring at what was happening.

Jeremiah must have felt someone staring at him because he pulled away from Belly only to be met with my very sad expression. It felt like the eye contact between the both of us lasted forever. His face began to drop as he read my emotions which led him to start getting out of the pool. However, before he came to confront me or talk, I started to walk away and go back upstairs.

I sat on the bed trying to hold in my tears. A million thoughts racing through my head.

How could Belly do this to me? Do you think he likes her? Are they dating now? Why am I so stupid?

“Y/n, can we talk?”

His voice made me freeze, I didn’t want him to talk, I didn’t want to see him at all.

“S-sure.” I said shakily.

I was awkwardly sitting on the bed.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset when I kissed Belly.”

He was so upfront with me about things.

“You didn’t, Jere.”

“But you looked-“

“Embarrassed? I just interrupted my best friend kissing my sister.”

“Yeah, but-“

“Listen Jere, we aren’t dating so why would I be upset?”

I was so lying.

“Huh, dating?” He smirked at me.

“I J-just meant that-“

“I know what you meant, cutie.”

Cutie. One of many nicknames he calls me.

“Jere-“

“I just wanted to say I was sorry.”

“It’s ok.”

He started to walk away but I panicked.

“D-did it mean anything? Do you have feeling for her? Like, are you and my sister a thing?”

“She kissed me. It didn’t mean anything. I promise.”

He was right, it didn’t mean anything to him because later in the summer I found out through Belly that she asked him to be her escort to the Deb ball and he said no. He told her that the kiss was a mistake and that he wanted to stay just friends. Due to me and Belly both being in the ball, I began to freak out internally when she told me that because I was planning on asking Jere to go. When I finally mustered up courage to ask Jeremiah to be my escort, I was so nervous. However, to my surprise, he replied to my request with, “anything for you, y/n/n”, accompanied with a kiss on the cheek.

I was too lost intertwined with all my feelings towards Jeremiah, that I didn’t fill the cart in time. That would mean that I was stuck loading the decorations into the house.

Eventually it was time for the party, I was all dressed up and ready to go. I was wearing my retro outfit along with Susannah’s roller skates. I was never good at roller skating. I remember when Jeremiah was teaching me to roller skate, I fell so many times that eventually he had to tell me that roller skating wasn’t for me. We ended up playing cards together instead.

I was doing quite well on the roller skates, until I wasn’t. I began to fall but then someone caught me. As I looked up to see who it was, I was met with the most gorgeous blue eyes ever. Jeremiah Fishers.

“You don’t need to hurt yourself to get my attention.”

His words sent chills down my spine. Yes, he had flirt with me before but something felt different this time.

“I’m sorry.” I was a stuttering mess.

His eyes felt like they were burning right through me. My cheeks were flushed, I could tell because my face felt hot.

“You like me, just admit it.”

His words shocked me. I began to feel very nervous. Of course, I would do anything to tell him but I was feeling really embarrassed, clearly I was so obvious that he knew I liked him. Also, Jeremiah is so experienced that it intimidates me. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself and I also don’t want to tell him how I feel in a room full of drunk teenagers. I quickly removed the roller skates and began to make my way out of the house.

“I- uh- I need a minute.”

“Y/n!” I hear Jeremiah call after me.

I was walking so fast through the group of people at the party, I just wanted out of there. I was so overwhelmed. The way the words spilt off Jere’s lips. I felt as if he was the popular guy in school who is honoured to learn that the nerd has a crush on him, nevertheless, he won’t ever be with the nerd. I felt so stupid.

I made my way to the beach. The waves always calmed me. I watched as they rolled through the water, my anxiety slowly wandered away.

“Y/n/n, why’d you leave?”

He must have followed me. I’m really glad he did.

“I’m sorry, Jere.”

“Was I wrong? You don’t like me?”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. The anxiety that wandered away had wandered back.

“I- uh-“

“I swore- I swore you did. The blushing whenever I flirt with you, the way you got upset over me kissing Belly. Am I right or am I just an idiot?”

I could tell he felt bothered by this. Like, all these moments really meant nothing and that he was wrong. However, he was not wrong.

“No, you aren’t an idiot.” I mumbled.

“So, you do like me?”

I nodded. I felt so shy. No words could come out of my mouth.

“How long?” he asked me, his tone was serious.

I didn’t want to answer that question. I was already embarrassed, this would be the cherry on top.

“As cliché as it will sound…since I learned what love was.”

“Love?”

“Jere, I’m already so embarrassed as it is. You don’t need to rub it in. I get it, I am the nerd to the popular boy.”

“What?” He chuckled.

“You know how there are movies where the popular high school boy finds out that the nerd is in love with them? He feels so honoured but he will never-“

I was going on a tangent, speaking really fast. Nerves tend to do that.

“Just…stop.”

Jeremiah Fisher began to lean in for a kiss.

“Woah, what are you doing?” I asked.

I was so nervous to have my first kiss with Jere because I felt as if I’d be horrible.

“Do you not want to?” His facial expressions resembled a little bit of hurt.

“No, no, I do but it’s my- it’s just-“

I did not want to tell him how inexperienced I was.

“It’s your first kiss, I know. Is it ok if I kiss you?”

“Y-yeah.”

With that, he leaned in. His lips were almost touching when he said:

“I’ve been waiting to do this…forever.”

Then the gap closed. It felt so incredible. Our lips moved perfectly together and it felt as if there was a thousand fireworks going off. His hands cupped my cheeks while mine rested on his shoulders, everything felt so delicate.

I eventually pulled away because I had to catch my breath.

“Thank you.”

Thank you!? I watched so many videos about how not to say that after you kiss someone. I was so dumb.

“You’re most certainly welcome! Also, you’re not a nerd.” and he kissed my cheek.

I started laughing and so did he. He then took my hand and led me back to the house where we sat and talked for the rest of the night.

That was the summer where I started dating Jeremiah Fisher.

#the summer i turned pretty #jeremiah fisher #tsitp #team jeremiah #tsitp jeremiah #jeremiah x reader

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kaiwildcr · 10 days

Text

・ 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑛𝑔 . . . 𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑.

❛ playing with fire in the twilight , wandering home . . . trouble - bound , 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 swept me off my feet . ( i was numb . ) nothing brings me back to life like walking out into the firing line . call it lust or losing sight , nothing brings me back to 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 . . . ❜

・ ⏤ quick links : pinterest + playlist .

・ 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

name : kyle wilder . nicknames : kai . age : twenty - seven . gender / pronouns : cismale & he / him . hometown : lincoln city , oregon . career : aspiring pro skater / extreme sports athlete + freelance . positive traits : spontaneous , charismatic , curious , free spirited & independent . neutral traits : realistic , sarcastic , stubborn , curious & impulsive . negative traits : destructive , closed off , manipulative , selfish & pessimistic .

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 ,

𝑝ℎ𝑦𝑠𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑢𝑡𝑒𝑠 ;

hair color : brown ( will dye it at any moment if he gets bored ) . eye color : blue . height : six foot , two inches . tattoos : currently 25 various tattoos . piercings : 2 , both lobes but usually only wears one . faceclaim : drew starkey .

𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑐 ;

artists streamed : nirvana , rage against the machine , badflower , soundgarden , alice in chains , pearl jam , led zeppelin , metallica , audioslave , beastie boys , boston manor , cleopatrick , bad omens , joey valence & brae , bring me the horizon , dead poet society , royal blood , the pale white , radiohead , nothing but thieves , grandson , system of a down , korn , tool , finger eleven , foo fighters . . . and many many more .

・ 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐒.

𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑐𝑘 …

kai wilder , more known as an agent of chaos some would say . . . that some being me . . . i'm the one . it's very hard for kai to feel settled , always needing some sort of rush or adrenaline . that mostly leading into him getting himself into some sort of trouble along the way . he'll never admit to anything actually going on with him and claim he's just trying to have a little fun . even though , there's no doubt that he does everything he does because of the chaos that swarms inside his head . always seeming unserious , kai can flip around in his moods easily . one second he's joking around and the next he's bored and flips the script . he's very unpredictable in a lot of ways . . . then again , if you really know him , you probably feel his unpredictable chaotic behavior is to be expected . underneath it all , there's just a very lost human being but . . . that's a secret . or , he thinks so . he could be very high energy , mainly because he needs things to keep moving or he'll lose his mind . then again , i'm pretty sure that his mind is already lost . there's a lot to uncover but . . . is it worth it ? maybe not . . . he's not a bad person . . . but not exactly a good person either . his morals a little lost .

!!! 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓 !!! : drugs / addiction ( there's a tiny mention ! i put a warning before it starts and after it's over ! )

kyle wilder or as he likes to be called , kai wilder was born in good ole lincoln city , oregon . growing up in his small family of four . then again , it wasn't much of a family to begin with .

kai's mother , kathy wilder felt as though she wasn't living the life she was meant to . playing pretend and trying to fit in with every other country club wine mom . not understanding why she couldn't live her dreams of sitting pool side gossiping with the ladies about her life while her husband played golf with the boys . alas , things didn't come that easily for the woman . her idea of country club living was sitting at the public pool with a box of wine and overpriced sunglasses . trying her darnedest to ignore the screams of children around her .

daddy dearest on the other hand was too distracted with his own issues to ever really involve himself . ( TW : DRUGS / ADDICTION. ) carter wilder wasn't one for the family lifestyle . which was exactly why he didn't really entertain the idea . it didn't matter that his on and off girlfriend became pregnant twice with his offspring . he wasn't interested in kids or marriage . the only thing that really interested him was getting his next hit . whatever hard drug he could get his hands on , that's where he drifted off to . it didn't matter where it took him , it didn't matter if he was off the radar for days , months or years . . . that's where he'd be . ( TW CONCLUDED ! )

that left kai's brother , christopher wilder . only older slightly older , the two got along relatively well for how dysfunctional the two became to be later on . but as kids . . . they were thick as thieves . they had to be , they were all each other had . in a lot of ways , chris was the one that raised the both of them . but as life goes , things change and kai and chris' relationship fell apart . the two brother not really having anything to do with each other other than chris trying to pick up pieces of a broken family .

as for kai , he'd never really felt as though he belonged anywhere . never feeling as if anything felt quite right . nowhere ever felt like home to the male causing him to run off or jump from place to place , even at a young age . never really wanting or being able to call one place home . even when chris would come running after him . telling him to come back , kai seemed to have a lot more of the not so great qualities of both their parents . although , if there was one person that could talk kai off the ledge , it was probably chris . . . sometimes .

the only thing that the male really clicked with was extreme sports . skateboarding , bmx , anything that got him flinging through the air or onto the ground . there was something about the adrenaline and the constant movement that kept him entertained and excited . although , his aspiring career hasn't jet off just yet in current years , it doesn't stop him from continuing to try and be the next tony hawk or big bmx guy .

that being said , he needs a way to pay for the random places he finds himself . working any jobs he could get his hands on . nevertheless , most of the poor people that decide to hire him , regret it . never really taking anything too seriously has it's downfalls .

that being said , we're getting off topic . moving back to the day chris went missing . kai ran off , one of the many times . only this time it stuck . thinking he'd never find himself back in oregon . disconnecting from his family after they started their charities . putting up an act of this perfect little family that lost their beloved son . his father even marrying his mother for the looks of a decent father figure . kai didn't want anything to do with it . that and , he knew a lot more than he was letting on .

it wasn't until that dreadful message that kai found himself coming back . as much as kai want's to act like he doesn't care about any of it . . . he does . . . it is his brother after all . maybe he isn't the best person in the world , definitely not . . . but he is human . . .

there's some things missing , i'm sure ! but for now , this is what i got . going with the flow as i figure him out more ! please , have this trash as my token of gratitude . and i'm sorry you had to endure this struggle and ramble .

・ 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 : i currently don't really have anything other than just vibing and seeing what will happen ! but i'll update this when things start flowing in my head . always down to brainstorm and plot ! i'm always down for the most chaotic things , no limits !

i do have a section in his pinterest that could be potential ideas for some plots ! if that interests you !

・ 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 : his brother chris wilder .

#・ ( 𝑘𝑎𝑖𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) ¸ introduction.

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sketchp00ch · 10 months

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PRESIDENT PATTI IS HERE!!!

(With and without tail! And yes I know there’s a tiny art error with her eyes, I’m very tired…)

I had a fun idea to make a Saiyan OC from Universe 6, who’s both one of the most famous pop stars on Planet Sadala and the president of a large nation that’s essentially based on the U.S.

(Basically it’s an amalgamation of all the popular and large cities in the U.S. such as- L.A., Miami, NYC, New Orleans, San Antonio, Chicago, Las Vegas, Boston, Portland, Washington D.C., etc.)

My friend @mobiissimo gave me the idea of naming her Patti after the patty pan squash (yes I know it’s technically not a vegetable but hush >:P)

I know the Universe 6 Saiyans don’t have tails anymore, but I feel like if they still did a lot of them would dye their tail fur just for fun and for trends! Patti would be no different!

Some extra lore: Patti is one of the main leaders of Planet Sadala, as there are many kingdoms and nations with their own rulers along with the main ruler of the whole planet- King Sadala himself, and like all the other leaders she helps keep things in order and is powerful enough to protect her nation and her people as she is more than just a bubbly pop star.

She takes her job as president equally as serious as she takes being an idol seriously.

- She’s pansexual

- Her design and personality were inspired off of (early) Ke$ha and Doja Cat

- She is a Libra ♎️

- Has not learned any SSJ form yet

One last thing- Patti and Cabba use to date but ever since she became famous and traveled the world, along with being president- she and Cabba didn’t have time to be a couple so they mutually ended things, since Cabba also had duties to fulfill.

#my art #dragon ball #dbz #dragon ball z #fanart #dbsuper #dragon ball super #dragon ball oc #oc #oc art #saiyan oc #female saiyan #oc lore

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runwayrunway · 11 months

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No. 6 - jetBlue Special Livery Extravaganza

My relationship with the paint jobs of the various jets blue has been an intense whirlwind for the past few days, but there was always something else about them I wanted to cover. Like many other airlines, jetBlue has a fair few special liveries, and I'd like to talk about them. Consider it a cleanse and an opportunity to rest your eyes.

So, upfront, I'm not going to talk about all of jetBlue's special liveries. There are a lot, and many of them are just sports team logojets or the like, and I don't feel like that's something worth commenting on too much. Seriously, so many sports liveries. They generally double-dip on NY and Boston teams, except they've firmly placed their hat in the ring by being the official airline for the Red Sox but not the Yankees, so...your move, New Yorkers. The only other thing worth mentioning is that their Bruins jet, N632JB, has the absolutely brilliant name "Bear Force One".

I'm admittedly honestly a bit exhausted at this point - this is my fifth jetBlue post - but I sincerely do want to cover these and have planned to from the moment I made this blog. So here's a handful of jetBlue's single-plane creations - at least, the ones I want to talk about.

Binary Code Fly-Fi - N709JB "Connected to 01000010 01001100 01010101 01000101"

The binary code says 'blue', predictably. This plane was painted in a custom livery to celebrate jetBlue's introduction of their in-flight "fly-fi" service. I've used it. It's totally adequate internet and they don't charge for it, can endorse. That's irrelevant to my opinion of the livery.

I can actually endorse the livery too, though. I like the way it looks like it's spreading out to envelop the plane, I really like the shade of blue they chose, and it looks absolutely gorgeous with the sun lighting it up. The design is pretty simple, nothing too galaxy-brained, but it works. It's a notable improvement over the default livery.

The airframe has since been repainted with the spotlight tail variant and renamed to "My Other Ride Is A JetBlue A220", seemingly the first stage of setting up the My Other Ride Is A JetBlue E190 loop with their new A220s, which are set to phase out the E190s in the next couple of years. (The E190 being considered an older plane now is so surreal to me. Time is truly a bizarre thing. It hasn't even been that long, though. jetBlue was literally the launch customer and they're younger than me.)

Grade: B(blue)

Inspiring Humanity - N598JB "Bluemanity"

I love this. This might be my absolute favorite type of awful cloying soulless corporate design. Slap a bunch of words on it and call it a day.

The words are actually their motto - Safety, Caring, Fun, Integrity, Passion. Not in that order, but I don't care enough to look up the proper one. To be fair, they are a very safe airline (no-fatality-no-hull-loss club 23 years in) and they are also fun. But this looks like the wall I swear I've seen on every public library I've ever been to that just says 'welcome' in a bunch of different languages.

I think my favorite thing is the name itself. "Inspiring Humanity". They have like less than 200 destinations. Change it immediately to "Inspiring New York And Boston And Like A Couple Other Cities". I literally can't stop laughing. This is so stupid.

Grade: D(umb)

Blueprint - N304JB "Blueprint"

I think it's obvious why I chose the above picture despite it being useless for showcasing the livery.

I've actually had the pleasure to see this lovely girl parked on the apron in person. She's very hard to miss. I mentioned her earlier - I do think this is jetBlue's bluest plane, and I love her.

Okay, here's what she actually looks like. This is a livery that requires a bit of zooming in to fully appreciate, but the general idea is that it's a cross-section of the plane. In each section you can see depictions of what's inside the plane, be it luggage, the pilots' chairs in the cockpit, or even the inner workings of the engines. It even shows off the divide between the vertical stabilizer and the rudder.

I also think it was a good choice putting it on an E190, which has a nose that borders on being a regular polygon, instead of negotiating the adorable little round stub that Airbus puts on the tips of their planes. Despite the little details being what make it great, the basic concept is visible from a distance. It's exactly as complex as it needs to be and no more. Almost flawlessly executed.

I love this livery. It's creative, it's fun, it uses a combination of two visually pleasing shades of blue, and it's very, very memorable. They make a scale model of her and to be entirely honest I really really want it. (Again, I will edit jetBlue's website and accept scale models instead of money as payment. All they have to do is ask.)

Grade: A( very blue plane indeed)

jetBlue For Good - N809JB

Astoundingly, this is the only jetBlue plane I can find that isn't named. Why? Why couldn't you name her? Do you hate her specifically? Why doesn't she get to be anthropomorphized and also funny? Could you not come up with a pun? Here's one for you: Bluegooder. That's off the dome. Can you imagine what I could come up with if I actually workshopped this?

I'll pull from their website for the description of this livery.

This design depicts a curtain being pulled back to show what is always underneath—JetBlue’s culture of doing good.

If you zoom in pretty close you actually can see a couple small people pulling back a curtain. From any distance it's invisible, though. This livery just doesn't communicate what it set out to. The images feel like nonsense and I think nobody would ever make these connections if they happened by this jet on the tarmac.

Also, that orange out of nowhere. It looks downright yucky with the light blue shades which predominate this design and, more importantly, draws all the attention to the front of the plane and away from the design.

Grade: D(o the right thing. Give her a name. Name her. Name your daughter.)

New York Jets (2017) - N746JB "I Love JetBlue / NY"

I don't care about American Football. I mean, you should see that coming, I run a tumblr about airplane graphic design. The only New York sports team I support are the Mets. This is sort of just a sports airplane. So why am I bothering to mention this livery?

Because she's my favorite color. Yep! That's it.

These exact shades of green are my favorite colors. And I like how they look. I'm not sure I like how the plane looks overall. I think I maybe just don't like the Jets logo. The engines being the same color as the fuselage is also something I hate, though the little silver rim mitigates it a little. What I'd really like to point out is the little American Football field distance markings (if they have a real name I don't know it) on the bottom of the plane. That's neat! I enjoy that.

Also, painted nose always a plus.

Grade: C(an more airlines please use these shades of green I am starving)+

I ♥ NYC - N586JB "I ♥ Blue York"

According to their website, they are

proud to be New York's Hometown Airline®.

That's right. Registered trademark! Fancy.

Okay. Just a few notes®:

Wouldn't it make more sense to name this one "I Love JetBlue / NY" and the Jets one something like 'Blue York Jets' or 'Let's Go Blue York' or something else related to the Jets? I can't help but feel like opportunities were missed here.

I'm glad it comes off the tail a bit. But why did you have to put it on the engines?

The I ♥ NY logo is iconic. The epitome of tacky chic. You couldn't have put it more out of the way if you tried. If you got the okay to use that logo on your airplane, you might as well use it on your airplane.

I know I normally complain about the engines being the same color as the fuselage, but if they're the only thing that's a different color, and the main color is white, and the engines are dark blue, it does actually look pretty bad.

FULLY WHITE FUSELAGE ENTIRELY WHITE PLANE BIG FLYING WHITE THING SHE'S GIVING SMARTLYNX SHE'S GIVING WEIRDLY SHAPED CLOUD GO GIRL GIVE US NOTHING!

Grade®: D(on't ♥ this livery)

10th Anniversary - N569JB "Blues Brothers"

Can I be totally honest? I planned to find a bunch of 10th anniversary liveries (Air Arabia also has one, I think, and there must be others) and review them all as a little 100 follower special treat. I was going to keep doing that for every 100 followers, up to 100-year anniversary liveries as a 1,000-follower special if I ever got there. Before I could do that, I hit 200 followers, and it's only been steadily increasing from there, so that is no longer happening. But I'll still give her a shot while I'm talking jetBlue.

The design is very...modern art museum. I don't like how white the whole situation is. Could be a whole lot worse but could be a whole lot better. Why always with the orange, jetBlue? But at the end of the day I respect the commitment to a visually overhauled anniversary livery instead of just slapping a 10 Years! sticker onto an otherwise regular plane.

Despite being honored with the special livery N569JB was given an unrelated name (more than poor N809JB got), and in 2017 she was repainted to the standard livery with the highrise tail variant.

Grade: C(an't really complain about gaining too many followers, though. I love you all. It's not a bad problem to have)-

New York International - Vintage - N763JB "What's Old Is Blue Again"

Aside from Blueprint, this is probably the most interesting livery jetBlue has and one of the main reasons I wanted to make this post. Logojets and liveries bragging about how you're such an ethical company are a dime a dozen, but this is something a little different.

Well, you might say, retrojets are actually incredibly common. And that's true! But this isn't a 'true' retrojet, because jetBlue started operations in 2000.

That is to say, unlike other 'retrojets', which are heritage liveries - older, retired liveries put on new planes (see my Lufthansa post for an example) - jetBlue's is an actual example of retrospective design, an intentionally fun take on what a 1960s jetBlue livery might have looked like, filtered through their modern brand identity and design sensibilities. From their website:

We dug deep into popular 1960s branding styles and themes to create an old look that is truly original, the Retrojet livery.

And this is definitely original! While it has recognizable features of actual older liveries, it's hard to argue that someone could mistake this for actually being a heritage livery. And I think that's good.

Let's be honest - as much as this blog reads as a puff piece for older liveries sometimes, just putting cheatlines on your planes isn't enough to make for interesting design. One of the main reasons I hate Eurowhite so much is the fact that every plane looks the same, and even back in the cheatline era that was a problem. Dominant industry trends have always been a plague in any sort of visual design, and aircraft liveries are no exception. Liveries like Lufthansa's older ones were actually above average, and a lot of designs from the time were utterly identical white planes with a hockey stick cheatline. It would be so easy to make a 60s livery which is just entirely generic. And they didn't do that.

I'll be entirely honest, I'm far from an expert on the 60s, but apparently jetBlue spent a while hitting the books and looking through old 60s adverts and such. Again, I can't really evaluate it on the basis of period-compliance, but I can surely say if I like it or not. And I do. I do like it.

It might just be me, but this plane looks like she's having such a good time. Hopping around with her little wings outstretched, a small-town girl from Toulouse in the big city of New York JFK Airport for the first time and she's ready to write her name all over it. There is just something about the way the cheatlines are painted on that makes her seem like she's delighted, and that delights me in turn. Plus, always a big fan of the painted nose.

jetBlue seems to have a thing for forcing orange into their liveries, and I nearly always hate it, but I really like it here. It's a nice understated shade which straddles the line between orange and yellow. I think it adds a nice contrast which the typical-of-the-time monocolor cheatlines sorely lacked. Again, it really reminds me of my beloved 1960 Lufthansa livery, which they also liked enough to put on a retrojet.

That said, it's far from a copy. It goes for tramlines instead of the single rule, with one wrapping around the windows and the other looping down under the nose, though not quite as far as Lufthansa's does. The cheatlines take up a lot more vertical space on the jetBlue jet, rendering the text quite small, smaller than was usual for the time, and it creates a unique look.

The initial reason for the popularity of cheatlines is that airlines thought it would mitigate the shortening effect of the many windows breaking up the fuselage and make the airplane look more streamlined, 'cheating' an aerodynamic look. I think it...at least sort of works. At first glance N763JB definitely looked long-ish to me, despite a closer look revealing that to be false. That's impressive considering A320 family planes have always looked sort of cobby to me in general.

Just looking at the plane honestly kind of underscores how much effort was put into jetBlue making their own 60s self-insert OC. To begin with, the "New York International" bit might seem a little confusing at first, but it's the name they've come up with for said self-insert. Since they're New York's Hometown Airline® they based it around that for a full name of jetBlue New York International Airways, I think? Sure, they're technically an international airline, so I'll let it slide. It does stir up a bit of that lofty golden-age emotion, doesn't it? There's a world of difference between Pan Am and Pan American World Airways, so I see where they're coming from and I respect it.

With the help of my in-house font wizard @spirifage I was able to identify the fonts used here as Craw Modern and URW Franklin Gothic. I think these are fantastic choices, both on their own and especially as a set. They're both relatively common to see in period media (well, other variants of Franklin Gothic are, at least) and they pair well together, a widely-spaced narrow sans-serif all-caps font to contrast the staggered heights and snappy serifs of the Craw.

It's a bit hard to read from a distance, but thankfully they chose to make the 'jetBlue' part larger and bolder to maximize legibility. Did it work? At least somewhat. The forward slant also matches airplane design trends of the time.

...why the phone number on the nacelles, though? That's a real 2004 budget carrier move, not so much 1960s international airline. It definitely kills the fantasy for me a little.

My other major criticism is the tail. I love the design itself, all exciting and unconcerned with appearances, unabashedly fun, but all this excitement being limited to the tail is strange. While the cheatlines prevent the jet from looking unbalanced, it definitely feels odd isolating that all to one small part of the jet. Couldn't they have used the nacelles for that instead? Seriously, what a strange choice for the engines.

(At least you know what number to call if you'd like to let jetBlue know about their pilot's flying. And yes, 1-800-JETBLUE actually is their phone number.)

In all, this golden oldie design is a total gas, but wipes out just short of being the best thing since sliced bread. It's a bit of a bummer that such a marvy concept isn't as outta sight as it could be, but I still dig it.

(jetBlue, if you let me edit your website, I will let you pay me in scale figures of Blueprint and the Retrojet.)

Grade: B(ad, a word which here, as in the 1960s, means 'good')+

(oh, wait, I didn't realize until I saw this image that they do the tail pattern on the inside of the winglets too. That's neat. Doesn't change my rating.)

Well, that's it! We're jetThrough with jetBlue, for the time being. Let me know which one of these special liveries you liked the best and why it's Blueprint, and thank you for bearing with me for this wild ride through a whole blue world.

Before I go, I would like to make one final comment on jetBlue's livery:

Bluebirds. Literal bluebirds. It's right there, jetBlue. I know you're reading this and I expect my scale models in the mail as soon as shipping allows for.

#tarmac fashion week #compilations #special liveries #runwayrunway blueses it #jetblue

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thehuntss · 6 months

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LOST IN THE FIRE

Hi guys!

I got so inspired today and I wrote you this wee AU, because I wanted to remix a bit of the storyline, much more to my taste. Hopefully you’ll like it, let me know what you’re are thinking about !

Enjoy, xx

In this story Doyle is dead and Emily is in Paris because she hadn’t come back yet to the BAU, unable to arrest him herself because of her bad injuries. Aaron is in DC and can’t stop thinking about all the times he missed his chances to tell Emily how perfect she was.

Dave was fed up.

•

She had set a routine to feel better. Metro, boulot, dodo.

And she didn’t like it. She didn’t feel home in this city, everything was remembering her the unhappy childhood she had. Everyday was pretty much the same, she had to go to therapy, then the physiotherapy and after that Emily was too exhausted to do something else.

She would pour herself a glass of her favorite wine and then enjoy it silently in the living room, observing the city through her windows, missing her life in America and all the persons she considered as friends, as family. She missed them so much. Usually she would fall asleep for a bit, and once woken up the hardest part of her day was crawling to her bedroom to sleep, or at least try because nightmares were still very active in her mind.

But tonight her routine was about to change forever and she had no ideas her life in Paris would change.

•

Aaron was soaking wet, he had been walking in the rainy city still trying to figure out why he was here. Because you were worried about her you dumbass. Because Dave forced you to take this plane. Because you’re an idiot and you’ll die alone if you never tell her. He shakes his head, yes he was worried about her but did it really justified a 10h flight ?

He had always heard of Paris as the city of love and it was ironic because since Haley he had been too afraid to tell his feelings to the woman of his heart. Aaron could almost hear his oldest friend David Rossi telling him to stop thinking because they were made for each other, because he had seen how they were flirting together. Aaron couldn’t remember a day passing by without Dave telling him the only person who didn’t know he was in love with Emily, was Emily herself. And same situation for her. But yet he couldn’t tell her, she was his best friend and he couldn’t ruin this. As destroying as it was, he was ready to have her as a friend only than being rejected and not having her anymore.

Get it together Hotch!

When he arrived at her door he felt anxious, suddenly wanting to go back to the airport and leave like nothing had ever happened. But his body made the physical move his mind couldn’t do and before he could realize he had already knocked at her door. Aaron heard some steps behind the door, swallowing hard. When he saw her he couldn’t but think she was beautiful. Her hair was longer, her curtains bangs falling on each side of her face, her cheeks were finer than they were few months ago. “Hi.” He whispered, not knowing what else to say.

She took seconds before realizing he was standing in her doorway. “What the…Aaron…I…” she shook her head, letting him in. “You’re soaking wet, let me help you with it..” she said as he took off his coat, still unable to speak.

He observed her, she was leaning on a cane and he cursed himself one more time for what happened in Boston, for not protecting her from this bastard. And from a moment he saw them back them back there when she was bleeding on the floor, thinking she was dead.

“Do you want some wine?” She asked, taking him back on earth.

He blinked, rapidly nodding and following her in the kitchen, feeling more guilty when he saw the way she was walking. “It’s good to see you.”

She turned and smiled to him. “It’s good to see you too Aaron.” And the way she told his name made a knowing feeling grows inside of him, she was still dissociating Hotch from Aaron.

Back in the living room they silently cheered, Emily still couldn’t believe he was here in Paris, sharing some of her boring routine. She awkwardly broke the silence, looking deeply at him. “What brings you here Aaron, don’t tell me you came all this way just to drink some wine with me?” She tried to joke.

“I’ve missed you.”

He wasn’t looking at her, he was staring a the beautiful Paris skyline but she knew he was being honest with her. Because she had missed him too. Emily slowly turned his head so he could look at her, letting him know it was a mutual feeling. He looked so broke that it made her heart falls in pieces. “I’ve been thinking about you, you know. A lot…”

He was about to speak but she continued, like she couldn’t just stop. “I kept thinking of you because it was the only memories I could focus on, and not only during therapy. I remembered it from the day we’ve met, to the day I’ve almost died in Boston.” At this point he could hear her voice breaks, but she continued. “I couldn’t stop thinking of all the times we’ve been hanging out together, with Jack, the zoo is so far my favorite day. I don’t remember I’ve been that happy in my entire life, on this day I’ve felt normal, I never had a normal family time and I don’t know, it made me feel like I was finally fitting somewhere. And when I arrived here everything fall appart, because I was on my own and..”

She broke into a sob, feeling pathetic and stupid. But when he slowly pressed his lips against hers, she couldn’t not answer, and their salty kiss finished her speech, letting him know she felt the same he was feeling about her.

“I too couldn’t stop thinking about you, and Jack always tells me how much he loves you. We miss you.” He couldn’t tell her he was missing her more than his little boy, that would be a lie and Emily was still a profiler, she would definitely recognize a lie.

“Is he going well ?” She can’t help but smile, remembering this sweet bundle of joy. And as Aaron showed her the pic he always kept in his wallet, she felt like the nostalgic leaving her body.

“I missed him too.” She simply replies, almost able to hear his sweet and innocent laugh through the appartement she almost shared with them back in DC. And as memories crossed their mind, Emily buried her hands in his hair, smiling when she smelled his cologne, the same since day one.

“You never changed it.” She whispers in his ear, kissing his sensitives spots. “You did not change…”

At this point he’s not sure if she’s speaking of his cologne or all the little things that made him love her more than anything. “Never.” He simply replies lowly, curling his fingers into her dark and soft hair. She was intoxicated by him and when she curled up against him, Aaron released his breath, allowing him to finally enjoy this time with her. They always used to have naps like this when she used to come at his place to spend some time with them. But then had never kissed before, because they both didn’t want ruin to their friendship.

It’s only an hour later he woke up, carefully picking her up and making his way to the bedroom. She was so precious and seeing her hurt made his heart breaks because Emily didn’t deserve it. At this very moment Aaron realized all he wanted was to care of her, and be here for her. He then quickly fell asleep next, not wanting to think about it now.

•

Emily woke up in the middle of the night because of the usual pain in her body. She was used to it, it has been a few months but her doctors were thinking it was normal, that she needed a lot of time to recover. She quickly got up and made sure not to wake him up, he looked so peaceful. On her way to the bathroom Emily realized how lucky she got, she didn’t expect Aaron to come over and especially in Paris. They hadn’t always been this close but after Foyet and Doyle, their relation grew up very quickly. They both had their traumas and stories and having each other definitely helped them recover mentally, their bodies were still bruised but with time it was easier to accept it. However Emily wasn’t sure she was ready to show her news scars to Aaron, even if she knew he wouldn’t mind because he had his owns, and she had been the one helping him accept them.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear him arrive behind her. It’s only when she felt his bare torso against her back and his arms curling around her that she shivered, softly turning her head to look at him.

“Why are you up sweetheart ?” He whispered to her ear, making her shiver one more time. “Is everything alright ?”

“Yeah, we should go back to bed don’t you think?” She turned in his embrace, slowly kissing him. It was a new sensation, something she had wanted to know since day one when they met. She still wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do, but they were here together for now and it’s all what mattered.

He guided her to the bed, helping her so she could take his arm instead of her cane. And when she curled up against him none of them spoke, because they wanted to appreciate the moment, tangled together in Paris, the city of love. She listened to his heart beats, noticing how relaxed he seemed and he just looked at her, playing with her hair.

“Does it change something ?” She whispered shyly, unable to look at him, unable to be disappointed if he was telling her otherwise than what she wanted the most. “Between us?”

The seconds he took to answers were the longest ever. “No, it just changes in a better perspective. If that’s what you want.” He replies with a soft voice, kissing the top of her head.

“I do. Do you ?”

“Yes.”

She smiled against his torso, trying to get as close as she could from him. For years she had been in love with him but always thought it would be unprofessional. So she tried to set her barriers so neither of him or her would be hurt by something they couldn’t have.

“Since the first day we’ve met, I always had a soft spot for you.” He confessed, knowing she would understand. Back in times he was still married to his high school sweetheart but Emily had made something fo his heart, she was different, and everything about her turned him on.

“And now you have a soft spot for me?” She lifted her up a bit so they could look at each other. He nodded simply, pressing his lips against her, feeling already the desire grows inside his body.

She definitely felt it too because her eyes went wide for a second. She softly chuckled, pressing soft kisses on his neck and torso. He closed his eyes, sighting. “Don’t make me want you more than I already want sweetheart..”

She traced some circles over his torso, not stopping what she was doing, making him shivers, definitely feeling his hardness against her core. She wanted him so bad, they had been waiting too long and tonight they would make love for the first time, showing each other how much loved they needed to be.

“I want you.” She simply said in between kisses.

“Fuck.” He groaned as he felt her fingers curled around his shaft. He couldn’t wait more and slowly pinned her on her back, trying to move carefully so he wouldn’t her hurt. The look over her face made him know she didn’t care because she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

“Make love to me Aaron.”

It was almost a pleading and how could Aaron Hotchner could turn her down when he was dying for her. “I’ll make you come so many times you won’t be able to walk for real sweetheart.” his voice low and dark, his eyes turning darker they originally were, his whole body reacting too much at the sight of her against him.

They slowly made love that night, ending curled up naked again each other. Aaron was rubbing her back with his hand, unable to find sleep, it had been too extraordinary. She was perfect. And he knew that no matters what, it was better for them to be extraordinary together than ordinary appart.

“Come home with me.” He whispered, covering her so she would get cold. “Come back to DC to Jack and I.”

She simply nodded, almost fast asleep and Aaron couldn’t help but smile, only realizing that without this Italian bastard he would still be in DC, with his feelings and frustration buried inside of his heart. He owed Dave a good one.

•

Back in DC, the team was having some time off waiting for another psychopath to come out. As he poured some coffee for him Rossi looked over to JJ who seemed particularly happy.

“What’s going on that make you so happy?” He gave her a cup, the blonde smiling to him with this I-have-a-good-feeling.

“Did Hotch left for Paris ?” She just asked ta randomly, knowing he knew the truth.

Rossi eyed her, almost forgetting this whole office was full of profilers. He shrugged at her, trying to figure out how he could get away from this and cursing Hotch for making him promise not to tell everyone. “I don’t know, why?”

“Oh come on Rossi!” She chuckled. “We all know he went there and even bet on it, you’re the only one who didn’t participate and we’re about to close it, so if you could just say yes we would be really happy.”

And as she told so, the Italian looked over her shoulder to see that Morgan, Penelope, Reid and even Alex were eyeing on them, waiting for his answer. “You’re definitely not taking this from young lady!”

And he left before she could convince him otherwise so.

“Well, I told you he wouldn’t say a word.” Derek said when she came back to their desks, looking disappointed. “He’s a grave, and loyal, even with the best scotch bottle he wouldn’t have said a word.”

“I’m sure Bossman really went to Paris, nobody saw the signs or am I the only one to noctice?” Pen added, looking too joyful and involved in this story.

“Signs? Like what ?” JJ asked with curiosity.

“Hotch is very secret we all know this. But since Emily had been transfer to Paris, he’s acting different. He has this little hope in the eyes whenever his cell phone rings and sometimes when he walks in the corridor thinking no one is watching him, he looks at the pic we took last year, when Emily was still in DC. And I’m not even talking about all the times they were flirting with each other, pretending we were being paranoid and saying that nothing happened. He had been in love with her since day and the only person who didn’t know it was Emily herself.” She recited quickly, not bothering to speak very high. “Did I tell you what I saw 6 months ago when we were at the bar in Dallas ?”

“You’re about to tell us baby girl…” Morgan teased her, all of the members listening while Rossi was watching them from his office, apparently speaking on the phone.

“You have to come back. I’m serious, I always forget how brilliants these profilers are.” he said to the phone, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Seriously, get you ass here and tell them the truth.”

All he heard was two laughs from the other side side of the line.

“These kids are going to kill me I swear on my nonna’s head.” He mumbled fo himself before hanging up.

#hotchniss #emily prentiss needs a hug #soft Aaron Hotchner #idiots in love #little smut #criminal minds #hotchniss fic #they deserve happiness

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