#it just gets lonely loving it sometimes

[penrose-quinn]

I hope my three day trip with my friends will finally put my mind at peace. I just feel so lonely...

#pen rambles #not the kind of lonely i'm missing out on ppl #more like the kind of lonely i enjoy this one thing by myself #it's probably my fault for keeping my hopes up for a bit #and yes i'm being v dramatic for still getting hung up on it #i don't really have another place to vent on this (and i really hope this is the last from here) #a part of me wants to blame something #i think it's lame and tiring going back to 'gl chp 11 must be that bad' and dragging myself down bc of the lack of reception #but i wouldn't feel this way if i didn't care a lot abt it #i still love that chapter #i still love gl a lot #it got me through rough times. i almost lost my job bc of my health issues #and i couldn't stop writing for it even when commuting got so bad or i couldn't sleep or eat properly for days #so if you love it so much why can't you just suck it up and be content with that? #i'm trying really haha #it just gets lonely loving it sometimes #esp when you decide to share it #i always feel like i'm talking to myself (which isn't very far off tbh) #i'm still going to write but i just hope this feeling wears off soon #okay! i'm done whining and i'll be disappearing again

[smash-chu]

Long distance loneliness

#my art #doodles #smash-chu's art #not having the luxury of being able to just drive and see someone i know and love #having all my human connection come from digital screens when not visiting my family once or twice a year #it makes your heart sink down into a place that is hard to get out of #a place of acceptance that i will just have to live with being lonely #i love my friends #i just wish they weren't so spread out away from me #in a way i was left back here cause i was the only one that didn't move back to their parents #and now i struggle alone being comforted via keeping in touch online #but it can never replace seeing face to face #getting to be right there next to someone #touch starved is a understatement #but for now that is just how it has to be #anyways #my period is frying my brain making every feeling feel more intense so i feel super fucking alone right now #it's fine it'll go back to being numb soon enough #but sometimes you just need to let stuff out

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

prince and prince friendship. this is my vision

#blood cw //////// #violence cw /////////// #erikar #eridan ampora #dirk strider #karkat vantas #dave strider #im just crazy about the idea that eridan and dirk would get along #theyre both fucked up in the head but in a way where they go ''theyre a freak but theyre basically OK'' about each other #eridan is too stupid/stubborn to manipulate and dirk literally could not give less of a shit about eridan's drama #so they have like a net 0 impact on each other #they do not make each other better. they also do not make each other worse. #they just get really bored and lonely sometimes #''do u want to stave off the ennui and beat the shit out of each other'' ''sure i dont have anything else going on today'' #just super lethargic and almost transactional #since they only hang out when theyre both bored as shit. from the outside it almost looks like a moirallegiance thing #at least until they start trying to murder each other which is when it suddenly looks like a kismesis #but its neither #theyre literally just bored and love violence #eridan <> karkat btw

[lovedazai]

if uve ever sent me an ask on anon i love u w my whole heart

#im feeling kinda sappy tonight #i love having this little space for myself !! but its so so lonely on tumblr :< #but then i see all my nonnies n it makes my entire day #getting to read everyones super cute thoughts n scenarios !! its so much fun #n then when i get questions ab what i think ab something!!! ME !! #it makes me feel a little less annoying hehe !! #i feel rlly out of place on here sometimes ?? mayb someone else will know what i mean?? #ty for being here n always being so kind to me it means so so much to me #i just love that i have a place i can escape to like this n just talk ab whatever its so much fun #so THANK U 🫵🏻 if ur reading this!! #i love u lots & im sending u hugs & heart shaped sugar cookies rn!

[potatochip-oc-dump]

what if we were both lonely

#oc #marolyne castelle #princess mom #moonlight #moonmary #can i. make up canon ship names for my ocs. can i do it for fun. please #what if we were both lonely and i was a woman and you were an infinetly expanding shadowy mass; an eldritch being #i cant believe theyre a thing but theu are. in some sense. not only because its incredibly fun concept but also because #it also works really well for the story. and it just hapoened to work out thag way #im giving mary a lot more love in these new plot ideas im having ... #shes more nuanced. less “evil queen neglectful parent” #ill talk about my new ideas sometime when i get the chance #ive been rewriting gidget too... ive realized i think her character was going in a direction i dodmt want it to #ill tell you all about it sometimes #*sometime

[howtosingit]

I’m gonna be honest, Carlos gently patting TK’s calf as he stands up from the couch has rendered me completely useless and I will literally never recover from it

AND I MEAN LITERALLY 

#it's sometimes so hard to understand how much you long for this kind of intimacy in media when you've never really had it #but then you get it and you're like 'oh my god' and it kind of just sinks into your chest t and becomes this core thing in a way #and it's just this one small moment in an episode full of fantastic moments #and it wasn't even an acting choice meant to draw attention #it was the most natural thing in the world #but like... I can't stop watching it happen #this episode has done something to me that I can't explain #the repeated verbalization of love from these two #the way it was so clearly expressed without words too #the way they don't feel the need to define their love to others because it's THEIRS #but they also don't hesitate to share what the other means to them #THE WAY THAT LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS ACTUALLY BASICALLY CANON NOW #THE WAY THAT THIS MAN IS LITERALLY HIS WHOLE HEART #LIKE WHAT THE FUCK #ls spoilers #911 lone star #tarlos #this show was never supposed to do this to me #this is absolutely stupid

[yurinullification]

.

#i love all of you #so fucking much #but god this blog feels lonely sometimes. and like i know it's my fault but that doesn't exactly make it better #my dilemma is that i need to talk with people #just. be in contact #in order to function #but actually talking with people is extremely stressful no matter what i do #and i just feel bad for all the people that have talked with me #only for me to end up completely ghosting them #but i don't know how to change and it feels like it's slowly corroding me from the inside #i had friends in primary school. kinda #barely #then i entered high school #first year pre pandemic i had a group that for whatever reason latched onto me as one of them? #but then we moved to online classes #and when that stopped and we all came back i was completely alone again #then i moved to a school focusing on autistics in 2nd and it was like 5 people in my class #none of us ever talked to each other #i just wish I'd had literally any real friends over the past 4 years so I'd actually know how to act. and get used to people #maybe i should just accept that I'll never be able to interact normally with people #even other people w autism clearly #and try to live with that? #but I'm gonna be honest i don't know if i can #so what the hell do i even do #i don't want to be coddled #i don't want to be pitied #i don't want to reach out #which leaves rotting as the only option

[everlastiingiimmortals]

There's something I'd like to talk about with respect to a change in Jing Yuan's portrayal that is incredibly significant, and that is how much... livelier he has become in the wake of the Lunar New Year. This is due to his friendship with Dan Heng on a general level (and with @etherealguard's specifically the deeper, more familial bond they share), as well as his growing friendship with @avaere's Guinaifen.

I initially had portrayed Jing Yuan as sort of drifting through his duties and existence, but I've found lately that with the genuine appreciation for him from Guinaifen, and the acknowledgement and reassurance that Dan Heng cares enough about him to visit and return home on his own accord, he's been able to settle a lot of the loneliness that's clung to him for all these years. He's truly grateful to be able to put Yinyue's ghost to rest, too, and though he is and always will be sentimental and deeply miss his partners, he has a renewed motivation to look towards the future, not just for the Luofu, but for himself, a luxury he has rarely ever afforded himself even during the days of the High Cloud Quintet.

This will start to bleed through in his interactions with other characters in a more energetic demeanor, and even more enthusiastic playfulness. I don't want to imply that he's all better, because he's very much not, and there will be moments where listlessness still grips him and he seems especially distant (though only those who know his personal life intimately would be able to tell), but there is new excitement in him that isn't just trying to stave off boredom.

#//about; (DIVINE FORESIGHT) #man. sometimes all you need is a friend who isn't a) your son or b) your coworker #fu xuan and yukong and qingzu he loves you so much but he'd rather die than confide his widowed status to you #sorry i get so emotional when i think about jing yuan healing #he has been so lonely for so long #he's finally finding peace that isn't just settling into his duties #tho it isn't easy to shake off a 700 year depression he's definitely finally getting better and i'm EMO

[void-dreaming]

Update: Her name is Rosy Sanctuary!

RS doubled as a medical facility for children prior to mass Ascension, and her puppet could be detached from the Umbilical to visit the especially sick children to both analyze and comfort them, hence her cutesy appearance! Despite how demanding her position was, she deeply enjoyed visiting the children and genuinely cared for them.

After Mass Ascension, Rosy began showing symptoms of depression and empty nest syndrome, often isolating herself from her local group and roaming the empty halls of the medical facility. Her can is still in functional condition but has noticeably decreased in activity over the course of many cycles.

Her small size and bright colors make her a target to predators, and she is easily harmed by downpours, so she seldom leaves her super structure. Rosy can leave her super structure at any time, she simply chooses not to for the most part.

For size comparison, AC here is the same size as Pebbles and Moon!

So yeah, Rosy is quite small!

In the days when she had children to tend to, Rosy was also capable of altering her behavior to comfort and meet the needs of each child she visited, and still retains this ability! Sometimes, Rosy will alter her behavior when speaking to fellow Iterators, as both a force of habit and out of concern that she may be obnoxious to others, and that's when she does feel like talking to someone.

Surprisingly, Rosy isn't all that child-like as herself, she's actually quite calm and once carried a strong air of maturity and responsibility when she was still active in her local broadcast. Nowadays, she struggles to communicate and stays in an anxious state if she's away from her super structure.

Rosy is very lonely and wouldn't mind having visitors. In fact, she'd try to adopt every Slugcat she finds if given the opportunity. She feels even better if she can feel like she's taking care of her guests, even if they don't need her care!

Rosy shared a designer with Abundant Curiosity, though neither particularly knew each other.

#she loves hugs #there is not a single thought behind her overseer's eye lol #fan character #artist of tumblr #rain world #rain world oc #iterator #iterator oc #rw #rw oc #robot #i considered giving her cords that hang from her head but i couldn't get them to look right #lonely iterator she just wants hugs #definitely has a shrine of toys and other items the children had with them during their stays #sometimes she talks to other iterators #only the super persistent ones though #shes both very lonely and wants to be left alone :( #....I really feel like I gotta redraw AC now...

[carefulfears]

and the fact that mulder cries a lot makes me want to cuddle him forever 😭😭

everything is so hard for him all of the time!! i love him.

#i love that he cries on screen so much #it means so much in terms of characterization of male heroes that i'm too tired to get into right now #but i also think of when my friend ali talked about how like...what a show of vulnerability it is #in those moments he isn't the invincible protagonist who always charges forward and always makes it out #he's traumatized and he's SENSITIVE and things do not come easy to him. he's afraid. he's lonely. #that ending shot of reduxes just knocks me breathless every time because that IS what it feels like. #that IS what success or barely making it through or 'the best news ever' feels like sometimes #earlier in the ep when he comes to scully's room and she's asleep and he just SOBS next to her. trying to muffle his cries in his hand #so he doesnt wake her. and the next day he's like :) oh i stopped by last night :) didn't want to disturb you :) #it's like actually haunting. and there is no part of THAT that is a heroic crusader. #when everything is 'okay' in the end and everyone is in the room RIGHT BEHIND HIM celebrating and he cries again...god. #it's like the tags i referenced yesterday talked about. it just all hits him at the same time. #there is never any respite on this show even when there's a miracle

[hightowres]

why do i feel like there’s some sort of veil between me and the rest of the world

#like i just feel like there’s this weird seperation #ppl all seem to have such full lives and be so connected with friends and stuff #but it feels like i can’t fully join in?? #like i have friends and ppl i love and hobbies and whatever like i have a life #but sometimes it feels like i blinked one day and everyone else found their ppl and their super close knit #and i’m just like?? how do i cross this invisible curtain between me and everyone else #like sometimes i meet someone and we get along super well and then we just don’t hang out more #maybe bc i suck at texting ppl back #but i feel like nothing ever deepens #anyway #ignore me #today was a good day #apart from one thing lol #even on here like i love love love my mutuals but i lowkey feel like everyone’s closer with other ppl than with me?? #i’m think i’m feeling a bit lonely bc i’ve been so busy lately i haven’t spent much time with anyone #and it feels like i just am missing out a lot #and i’m definitely someone who appreciates having alone time but i do actually like socialising and connecting with ppl #talking to ppl is one of my favourite things ever i think there are so many incredible ppl to find out more about and become friends with #nadiya.txt

[commander-gloryforge]

mental illness

#i think. uhm i think and this isn’t good #but i think my recent lows are like. affecting everything including my ocs #a ‘nobody will ever be able to love me’ is also turning into a #‘nobody will ever be able to love my characters’ kinda thing #i have this thing where i just randomly decide nobody likes me out of nowhere and just disappear because i think it’s ‘for the better’ #which obviously. this is not true. i know it’s not. but it’s still a thing that just happens sometimes #especially lately my emotions have been all over the place. there’s just a lot of loneliness but then i let myself be lonely because #some part of me still thinks i deserve it #not good! it’s not guys it’s not sooo good #granted ive had a busy last week so naturally i didn’t get to interact with my friends a lot #i forgor where i was going with this #anyways recent worries of me being unlovable have transferred to my ocs #i don’t think they have what it takes to be loved just like i don’t have what it takes to beloved #like father like child kinda thing #oh well it’ll get better some time i’m sure! #i’m confident that this will pass but for now i’ll just have to live through it. which is fine! #dios wisdom #vent #rant #i suppose

[dumb-doll-lips]

So I have this week off work.

I like knew I’d end up spending some of it sad.

But like I didn’t expect the sads to hit within a couple hours of waking up in the first day off.

#trying to find a balance of venting that gets the thoughts out of my head some wo feeling like I’m dwelling on it #I’m off this week bc of canceled plans #and I don’t have any new plans #I could have made a bigger effort prolly #and it’s likely some more last minute things will happen #but like I love the security and peace of mind of having plans made in advance #and that’s been so hard to get #I know the type of guys I tend to go for makes it harder #but still is being a sucky feeling right now #it just feels really lonely sometimes #personal #venting

[delta-piscium]

after Eddie graduates he still wants to play dnd so Steve let’s them play in his house and the kids are so excited because maybe this way they can get Steve to play?

he doesn’t, but he watches and that’s something right? Except it isn’t because he keeps humming and snorting and he fucking giggles at one point when they’re deciding how to fight the big bad

they slowly realize that it’s because Eddie tells Steve his plans for the campaign, so Steve is sitting there laughing because he knows what will happen and oh my god this is so much worse than Eddie ever was on his own because now he’ll give Steve these looks and Steve will smile or raise an eyebrow or something and there’s no pattern to what happens after so they can’t even brace themselves, and yeah they should have kept them apart this is a nightmare

#eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #stranger things #listen I just think Steve wouldn’t want to play but he’d love to watch #and Eddie starts planning sessions when they’re hanging out and he tells Steve everything and Steve is on the edge of his seat knowing what #will happen and seeing what the kids will do #and with all the shit they give him about not knowing stuff so what if he lets out a little snort when they choose to go left instead of #right when actually both options are equally bad #it’s just a little harmless thing to mess with them #Eddie picks up on it and will sometimes look at stave and raise an eyebrow and Steve knowing nothing is about to happen will smile and nod #and the kids will literally loose all the blood in their face and all that happens that session is they buy some new weapons but next times #it happens they get attacked so what actually does it even mean? #it means Eddie and Steve are messing with them just a tiny bit #but also that Eddie is including Steve because he knows he’s hesitant to play bc he thinks he’d ruin it but this way he gets to be a part #of it and also as much as Eddie loves to DM it can get lonely and it’s exciting to share this with Steve #sometimes Steve is humming and nodding because he’s impressed with them though #but it still drives them absolutely crazy bc these kids has such a need to know everything and the DM being the only one who knows is #the point so they can deal but this? yeah it’s a struggle #my post #dels steddie thoughts

[manasurge]

.

#sometimes I wish drawing wasn't such a lonely activity #am in a bit of a social mood but can't find anything to socialize about #i also wish I didn't need to spend ALL DAY trying to prep my brain to try to draw; despite it being something I wanna do and enjoy #why must i have executive dysfunction over my hobbies #this is why it takes me one million years to something I can actually get done in a few days at most #i'm so incredibly frustrated and it's super depressing and bumming me out #it's just so frustrating and i'm so irritated at myself #i know it's shark week so maybe it's why i'm a bit of a mess; but usually it doesn't affect me during the time so idk #also i love how every night I get to deal with the crippling dread and lowkey anxiety attacks bc everything i'm avoiding/afraid of and it- #- keeps festering in my mind and makes me avoid sleep for as long as possible and i'm stuck in an eternal negative feedback loop #i can't even do the thing i enjoy bc my brain is making it hard for me #not to mention that I constantly get those thoughts about how i'm never getting anywhere in life and i am in fact; ALONE #no irl friends or family and it still scares me to think about how worse things will get in the future for me. #not to mention not having a career or being capable of doing any kind of secondary schooling makes the dread even worse #but again frustrated and i can't even apply positive activities like how I'd usually do; not to mention i'm just always mad at myself about #-everything lmao #stupid brain just let me enjoy me hobby bc i wanna do it and you're not letting me and it's making me feel worse #delete later probably idk lmao

[crepusculum-rattus]

i think one of the most tragic things abt cphil is the fact that not only is he immortal, he also remembers it all

#he doesn’t get to forget #he has to keep remembering #there’s no break from the people he’s lost. people he used to know #he seems them everywhere and sometimes they don’t even know they’re seeing him too #it’s. so lonely #but he still full of so much love #because MAYBE just maybe. loving will be enough this time #i am genuinely getting so emotional rn #philza #c!phil #🐀