#it was very different from my usual process but i think it looks neat

[eveningrainstorm]

you can't take back what you've done

#this is the third Unhappy Nao i mentioned when i posted that drawing of her the other day btw #sorry nao painting time is over time to face the horrors #nao egokoro #your turn to die #yttd #kazumi mishima #<- i guess #my art #i used a randomly generated color palette for this to experiment with using a limited color palette #it was very different from my usual process but i think it looks neat

[hiiragi7]

hi there!! i've been reading some of the discussions you've had & many of them are super informative and some comforting to read from the perspective of someone who's questioning if they might be plural/have a CDD. i really appreciate ur blog & the views and experiences u share on it, it feels like a warm hug amidst The Horrors of Syscourse.

i've had something on my mind though. this is probably a silly question, but it's possible to have a CDD without (C)PTSD, right? admittedly i'm kind of just asking this for reassurance while i'm on my own discovery journey. like. i have experienced traumatic events and some of it is ongoing & i'm still living with the people responsible, but i don't think i fit the PTSD criteria due to not experiencing flashbacks or strong emotions related to the events—i usually just feel totally empty & detached from it. i still believe i've been negatively affected by the events hence considering them traumatic, but that doesn't include any kind of flashbacks.

i've been trying to look into it & find answers but i've seen a lot of conflating of having experienced trauma with having PTSD, so most of what i find is "can you be plural/have a CDD without trauma" discourse.

i think it'd be neat to see more conversations about this but free to ignore this ask if u don't want to answer it/if u don't feel equipped to! wishing u the best. have a great day!!

This is actually a very interesting question.

I've read a lot of medical literature on trauma, and each author in the field seems to define what qualifies as PTSD or PTSD symptoms differently, which also lines up with my own experiences with medical professionals in practice. In general, me simply being traumatized was enough for me to be given an automatic PTSD diagnosis, regardless of which therapist or psychiatrist I saw. Some professionals I saw were very specific with what they called what, others were a lot more loose with it.

I've seen a lot of differing definitions and academic debate over what qualifies as a flashback, dissociation, a posttraumatic symptom, and so on. That is to say, it can all be very vague.

For example, there are other forms of flashbacks that exist outside of the well-known ones; some people only relive traumatic events emotionally, or through repeated thought processes, or somatic pain. A lot aren't even aware these are flashbacks, because it's experienced as 'random' emotions or pain or spirals or some other response, and a lot have trouble figuring out what even triggers these responses.

Would these experiences fall under what we call flashbacks in PTSD? Well, it probably depends on who you ask. And, in practice, whether someone with these experiences gets diagnosed with PTSD or a mood disorder or a personality disorder or somatic pain syndrome depends on the medical professional evaluating them.

To further complicate it, a lot of people don't experience overt c/PTSD symptoms until they are no longer living in the traumatic situation, which, for people who develop cPTSD, means they may not show obvious symptoms until a very, very long time after the trauma started. I didn't start getting "classic" PTSD flashbacks and "waking up in a panic attack in the middle of the night" type nightmares about the trauma until I wasn't around the people who did it anymore. However, I have experienced many other trauma-related symptoms and heavy dissociation ever since I was very very little. Before I was diagnosed with PTSD in highschool, I was diagnosed with a lot of other things first.

There's also just the fact that, for whatever reason, people don't all develop the same symptoms in response to trauma. Some people with very complex trauma never experience classic PTSD symptoms. Some people are very dissociative and numb, or develop mood disorders, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms, or somatic symptoms, or eating disorders, or some combination of things. Some people never externally harm themselves or cope using substances while others develop addictions to these things.

In addition, some people's experiences with trauma don't fall under the PTSD criteria's definition of trauma, so even if other symptoms are present they don't "technically" fit criteria. And sometimes medical professionals use their own judgement and diagnose these people with PTSD anyway, and sometimes they don't.

Plenty of people diagnosed with other childhood trauma-based disorders besides CDDs also don't fit c/PTSD criteria or show many c/PTSD symptoms or receive a comorbid c/PTSD diagnosis for whatever reason. It's complicated and messy.

This is all to say, I've encountered medical professionals who treat PTSD as synonymous with "traumatized" and are very loose with what they call PTSD and I've also encountered medical professionals who are very strict about the criteria and are very insistent on only diagnosing people who fit that, and I've met a lot of professionals somewhere in the middle as well. I've also encountered plenty who would much rather focus on helping the symptoms than on what the diagnosis is or isn't, and who don't really like the way mental health diagnosis is structured in the first place.

So, to come back to your question... I don't think there really is an objective answer to it, though personally I'd just say "sure it's possible, and I wouldn't really worry about it much."

In the end, what I've found is that it doesn't actually really matter that much? Regardless of whether there is comorbid PTSD or whether there isn't (or whether it's delayed onset or etc), in the end what you're dealing with if you have a CDD is still trauma, and the treatment for that is more or less the same, regardless of what you call it. There might be differences in, say, approaches to medication specifically, or specific symptoms, but even that is often just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. Honestly, in my experience, treatment mostly looks different based on symptoms and individual needs rather than diagnoses, really.

In general, I find that a lot of people dealing with trauma and mental illness tend to over-focus on diagnosis and getting it right and trying to figure out whether they "really" have something or whether they're mistaken or somehow faking or so on. I think that's an unhelpful approach to it; there's no objective way to confirm that sort of thing, and either way you still need ways to cope with your symptoms, and coping skills are useful regardless of diagnosis. Learning how to ground yourself is useful regardless of whether you "really" dissociate that bad, learning emotional regulation skills is useful regardless of whether you "really" have severe mood swings, learning calming techniques and self-care and how to be gentle with yourself are good things for everyone to learn, coping skills are not just for people with certain diagnoses. In fact, you don't even need a diagnosis of anything to do these things.

And with trauma, like... it's all just trauma processing in the end, really.

I'll even go as far to say that even if you don't have PTSD, books and resources for PTSD might still be useful to you if you have a CDD or another trauma-related disorder, since a lot of symptoms overlap with other disorders and especially with trauma the recommendations for what to do about it tend to be applicable to a lot of different situations outside of strictly PTSD.

I realize I rambled a long time just to say "well, it's complicated and depends on what we mean by PTSD, but also it's all trauma anyway" but I hope this was helpful still?

I'm also glad to hear what you said about my blog, it was very nice to read.

#syscourse #long post

[spacecolonie]

i adore your paintings so muchhh would you happen to have any other tips or tutorials for your process? anything from thumbnailing all the way to final render

Thank you 😭♥ I appreciate that a lot!! To start with I've got my advice tag (both new and veeery old stuff lol), & my youtube has a couple of speedpaints on it, one with commentary including process, brushes etc

In terms of general stuff about how I approach painting, I tend to tailor the method to the desired outcome. I talk about it more in depth on this post here, I also link to some references & tutorials that I really enjoy/recommend!

Besides that though, I guess I can do a little walkthrough of the Whisper & Tangle painting I uploaded a few months ago, since I tried something new with it that I pseudo integrated into my workflow & could be fun to talk about? 🤔

SO yes, I do always thumbnail when I'm doing a bigger painting, and they're definitely not pretty LOL. I usually use the colour fill lasso just to block in basic shapes and values with a gradient map slapped on the top -- I ended up swapping the values around in the end because it let me use the fireflies as the sole light source, making it more character focused! Then it's the usual process of resketching it all & flatting in the base colours (I also added Whisper's wisps hehe), then adding shading:

This is how I usually approach it, w/ all the shading layers clipped to the original flats to preserve editing. Multiply, screen & overlay are the most common layer modes I use while doing this, and if I'm ever struggling I'll sometimes add a gradient map too in order to unify awkward colours etc. The new thing I tried for this painting was doing what's often nicknamed as a 'clown pass' -- which is using hard edged shapes to create an easily-accessible selection mask for each part:

It looks Super funny but I actually found it very helpful, and I ended up using it to select & cut out all of their body parts onto seperate layers, which were then alpha locked. It meant I could go ham w/ large or textured brushes, smudges etc without worrying about losing those edges, or accidentally over-rendering and screwing up the anatomy in the process!!

I've kept doing something similar since, though it's a bit more dialed back; mainly using the lasso select to chop it up directly and preserve specific/necessary edges, grouping up similar body parts on a single layer etc.

After doing all that, I sat down and started rendering. The background was all blocked in & detailed with a hard round brush and these amazing brushes from Devin Elle Kurtz. There isn't anything super insightful that I think I could type on how I render, but I do have that speedpaint I mentioned earlier that'll probably shed more light. It's just a lot of eyedropping & painting, rinse and repeat

When rendering is done I usually add a concoction of adjustment layers, as well as an overlay w/ a noise texture on it. I also sharpen it all after doing so! These are the ones that I ended up adding for this painting:

The dupe & blur is a fun thing that doesn't always work, but it looks super neat when the painting itself calls for it, especially when paired w/ that noise texture. It can make stuff look like an old/low quality photograph or recording -- here's another example w/ a shadow and amy doodle I posted a few months ago:

That's about it for this painting, the majority of the time spent on it was honestly me rendering those damn leaves 🥲 Very tedious but worth it & it was a really good learning experience. I'm not sure if any of this will prove useful but thank you so much for sending in the ask, & if you (or anyone else reading this) wants a similar breakdown for a different painting of mine, please do let me know and I'll try my best to do one!! 🥺💞

#tutorial #kinda. i'm counting this as one... i should really start a new tag for these sorts of posts because theyre super fun #art breakdown #maybe?? #either way thank you so much ♥

[inspectorcrayon]

It's about time this gets finished- A compilation of Windell's skins that took months to complete. So why did I spend so much time drawing back sides to his skins? It's the skulls, baybe. Its always the skulls. Me rambling about design notes under the cut- It's Very Long.

Nostalgic Windell's design is in part, made to contrast regular Windell's appearance. Windell wears blue and Nostalgic Windell wore a brown jacket.

This is what he wore in his last day on earth, right before he gets yoinked to the Constant. He has a festive look as he disappeared during a trip to a carnival. ------ Windell's Guest of Honour was designed really early on, along with his Survivor and Triumphant. Which was around 2017ish.

GoH Windell never deviated much from his oldest design, I didn't really put much thought on his outfit other than 'Windell, but fancy'. He loves dolling up people but he's not really a fan of partiying himself, that's why he looked really sad here. ---- The Survivor skin was... It was a mess trying to make it not at all cluttered.

I loved the idea of him looking stitched up and sporting a stubble along with other accessories, but I decided to drop that in his more recent designs because idk, I just personally didn't like how he looked in my new style. I'm just very uncertain with this design in general. The stitched pants was something I think is neat ig. ----- Roseate Windell went through a lot of changes because I didn't know what to do with him for a while??

My main problem with his earlier deisgns was I was trying to make him feel 'distinct' like a proper skin from regular Windell. And I just struggle to give him a hairstyle that is not only not a pain to draw every time but also... actually nice to look at??.

I hit that sweet spot in his 2022 design and as MUCH as i LOVE his tentacle-like, spiny coat, it just doesn't look good when I imagine them as dst sprites. (It's not like I'm actually gonna make sprites of this skin but making sprites for his mod made me understand dst's design conventions(?) a bit more??)idk.

Roseate went from 'ew he looks really boring to me' to 'omg a personal fave'.

Also he looks like this without his extra coat ----- Gladiator Windell... Fun fact: His armor is heavily inspired by Killer Queen from JJBA.

It really shows in this old portrait pic. Simplifying his design was painful but it had to happen. I had no idea how to color him back when I first designed him so I just did the easy thing and colored him with Windell's existing palette. I made him grey in his final redesign because again, I didn't want him to look too similar to his usual look, but I doooo think the blue looks better on him ngl... -----

I love Snowfallen Windell (Even if his hair will give me grief one day) He took some inspiration from Elsa frozen.

Though, he did have an older look. As with most of my 2020 designs, as much as I love the older version, his hair just doesn't look like a separate skin. Hence he changed radically in his redesign. The final design is in a way, a fusion between the older designs. ----- Contender Windell is a case of me designing a skin and ending up with a suit. As much as I adore suits, they can begin to look same-y after a while.

I watched some WWE as a kid and I always found it hillarious to see suited people in the ring. Windell's first design here references that. Also there's the steel chair meme. I like the concept but he looked really plain next to the other contender ppl when I drew him fr. The 2022 design is the result of trying to fit him in with the others and I think he looked great. His final design didn't change much apart from the hair to further make him different from Windell's og hair. ----- Magmatic Windell The Magmatic skin set itself is a bit of a mess when it comes to theming. So I just took reoccuring design features and mashed them together for this.

Fire nation fashion, gold(?) accessories and flre-like hair. There's little thought involved in the process. Though, the addition of the red tattoo-like markings on Windell made him better to look at ig. I dare say, this design warmed up to me. ----- So many horror icons... but which one would Windell embody? His Hallowed Nights is the Corpse Bride (but genderbent) and I had fun with this one.

I know, I know this is yet another suit, but he has enough details to offset that. For a dash of irony, he's supposed to have drowned. :) -----

Windell is Irish (Welll, Irish-American to be specific) This is all the notes you'll need-

His final design have better colors :D ----- I decided to go by a theme among my own ocs with the Merrymaker skins based on A Christmas Carol, since Maxwell is clearly Scrooge. Merrymaker Windell is another one of my personal favorites-

He's supposed to be the Christmas Ghost of the Past. ----- Windell used to have a proposed mechanic where each skin has several designs and they get cycled every time he gets ressurected through a certain way.

Victorian Windell's final design is heavily based on a particular alt of his og victorian design that I liked more. I just added stuff to make him look cooler :B ----- There is little in the way of customization in the Line Cook set. But whatever, he still gets a skull on the back of the fit.

His frock used to be green too. ----- His Halloween Costume is of a tentacle. His favorite mob.

I made his redesign also akin to a little gnome/witch. Also someone called him Gargamel once and that makes me smile to this day -----

Swashbuckler Windell already existed long before Klei released the set. He was part of a pirate au and he's supposed to be a pirate hunter.

So ig he became canon when Klei decided to make that set. His cape had to go though. ;-; His final design was also partly inspired by P from Lies of P. ----- Moonbound Windell was a challenge to design as he's supposed to bounce off from his Tri design. This skin is supposed to be everything that Tri isn't and so his colors will have to be mainly white and I had to discard my first design of him

I loved WX's and Webber's moonbound designs so that also bled onto Windell's. As Triumphant Windell is calm yet menacing, Moonbound Windell is an angrier Windell. Alter whispered forbodden knowledge onto him and that only Pissed Him Off. ----- Maquerader Windell is heavily based on the costumes they wore in Cats (The Broadway one). Particularly Mr. Mistoffelees. I hated doing his lineart, but coloring really endeared him to me. Now, he's also very much beloved. ----- So Klei releases either a Nostalgic skin or a skin that's really out there with it's theming whenever a character refresh happens. This is what Windell would have in that case- Windell's refresh skin would be themed around being a sailor, inspired by Ishmael from Moby Dick. It's kinda a what-if as well. What if Windell decided to confront his fear of the ocean head on, becoming a sailor and joining a group of whalers. He still hyperfixates on the ocean as he does in canon. Also here's an alt design for this particular skin-

----- And last but not the least- Triumphant Windell OH BOY. Man has history- Way before Klei unveiled the triumphants, I had this idea for a really old rp where Windell decides to join the shadows like Maxwell as Their spy in exchange for shadowy powers and stuff. But the twist is, he Looks Like Everyone else to blend in better. I loved the idea, but then when the triumphants came around. Windell just looked so plain next to them and so I drew this doodle and that was before I became inactive in the fandom until 2020.

His 2020 incarnation was from a joke I made about Windell's 'real' triumphant was this jock who is also a bully and he has an eldritch car that he uses to run over ppl in the Constant. Also he's voiced by Bo Burnham :B Shortly after that I released his non-joke Triumphant design, which was heavily based on his 2017 version. He also can turn into an eldritch creature made of needles and yarn. He's called The Yarn Man because of this. More on Yarn Man- (cw: there is body horror) My problem with Yarn Man is, his hair just changes in every drawing because I didn't know how to properly draw it. Until his 2023 version. _____ THERE YOU GO. THE WINDELL SKIN LORE.

#crayo art #dst #dst oc #dontstarvetogether #dont starve oc #dontstarve #long post #very long post really #windell

[emiliaoleary]

Hooking rugs that look like dogs

Here's how I do it:

The process I use is called rug hooking (not latch hook or punch needle or tufting, though it is the forerunner of the latter two techniques). Rugs are hooked by pulling loops of fabric strips or yarn through the holes of a base fabric with a coarse open weave, like burlap, or linen, or rug warp. The loops are pulled through the fabric with a squat-handled hook whose business end is shaped like a crochet hook.  There are no knots and the loops aren't sewed down in any way.  The whole thing stays put just by the tension of all those loops packed together in the weave of the foundation fabric.

This isn't a true detailed tutorial but a walk-through of my particular process. The same information is on my web page, emilyoleary.com .

I hook with yarn, rather than with cut strips of wool fabric, which is what many rug hookers use.  I can get a looser, more organic distribution of loops with yarn than I could with wool strips, which are hooked in neat lines. 

Mostly I use wool yarn. In terms of yarn weight, I can use DK, worsted, or Aran.  If I'm using thicker yarn, I leave more holes un-hooked; if I'm using finer yarn, I hook more densely or double up lengths of it.  I particularly like using single ply yarns (like Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride or Malabrigo Worsted).  I don't keep count, but I think I usually use around two dozen types and colors of yarn per dog.  

This is my yarn wall in my apartment. Mostly brown and gray yarn!

I start from a small drawing in my sketchbook, then I head to FedEx office to use a copy machine, blowing up the drawing repeatedly and experimenting with how big the dog rug should be. 

After transferring the image onto my linen, I immediately go over it with Sharpie, because the Saral is really difficult to see and really easy to rub off.

The rug is held taut by a PVC quilting frame that I set on my lap.

I push my hook down through the fabric with my right hand and my left hand stays below the fabric and guides the yarn while I pull it up and through with the hook. Not every hole in the fabric is hooked. Hooking every hole would make the rug too dense. I do hook pretty densely, though-- If you pick up one of my rugs you’ll see they have a slight curl to them, which is because they’re hooked pretty tight. I'm using all different weights and types of yarn, so it's a challenge to keep the overall tension even.

I hook my loops at varying heights to create a very low relief. Sometimes I trim the loops to make them fluffier or wispier or to shape a particular part. I look at a reference photo while I work and pull out and redo sections a lot.

My q-snap frame can accommodate the growing dog rug. I have extenders to make it bigger and I can clamp around my hooking.

The back of a rug looks like lines of little stitches. The lines are little worm trails snaking around because lines of hooking are not supposed to cross over each other. It's important to start a new length of yarn rather than cross over a stitch you already made! I read this when I first started and took it to heart. It makes it much easier to undo and redo hooking if you have to (and I redo sections A Lot). It also keeps the back from getting too bulky and resulting in uneven wear on the back of a functional rug that gets floor use.

When I’m done hooking everything I turn the rug over and brush watered-down Sobo glue on the edges of the dog, making sure to get one or two of the outermost lines of hooking. I do a couple coats of this thinned out glue. I'm careful not to use so much that it seeps to the front of the rug. When the glue is dry I cut the rug out, but I don't cut so close that the loops don't have any linen to keep them in.

​ It generally takes me at least several months to finish one dog rug. My hooking frame and yarn bag are very portable (though bulky) so I can hook out and about at coffee shops or the library or a brewery if there's enough space and light.

Hooking in the wild makes me an ambassador for making things in general and rug hooking in particular. I answer people's questions and always emphasize how relatively easy it is to get started hooking. Sometimes I get anxious that other people will hook rugs that look like mine but better, but I think that working in a traditional medium means you should share your knowledge for the good of the craft.

#tutorial #rug hooking #rug tufting #rug art #dog #dog art #yarn

[evakant]

Sorry if I bother you, but I really love your gif sets! Do you know some tutorials or, app, or anything, to learn how to make good gif? I am learning and I feel very stupid because all my gifs are shit. (if my ask is inappropriate or anything, please ignore me)

you're not bothering and none of this is inappropriate, you're more than welcome in my inbox! as for your questions, let's see what i can do.

1) tutorials — i've been doing this for long enough that i don't really have much to recommend here, the only tutorials i use nowadays are all about specific things and not how to make gifs as a whole. that being said i've linked this one before, i personally do some things differently but it's a very good tutorial, well-received by gifmakers who are just starting and well written, from what i've skimmed through.

another good post to look through is this one, not a gifmaking tutorial per se but it goes into sizes, sharpening, and how to get neat & clear gifs. two of the main points are A) while you can get away with making gifs out of a 720p quality video, 1080p is what is usually recommended. you could use 4k as well, but a 1080p video is usually easier to find, will take less space in your storage, and will give you really good results already. no need for overkill <3 as for B) size matters here on tumblr dot com, mostly width. the op of the post linked in this paragraph has included a nice graphic for the size limits for gifs, you can refer to it as you make your gifs so that whatever you make won't turn out pixelated once you upload it to tumblr.

if you're curious, i've been asked about my sharpening settings here and i spoke before on tumblr sizing here

2) software — you mentioned app, if by app you mean mobile stuff then i'm sorry, i can't help you! i've never made gifs through mobile and i wouldn't even know which direction to point towards for you to find more information. as for computers, if you mean programs then these are what i use to make my gifs: potplayer (for taking screencaps) and photoshop cc 2020 (for making the actual gifs, this is the post i used but here's one with more links)

now i'd like to mention something my grandma always used to say: no one is born learned. you're not stupid just because it's taking you a while to do something, learning is a process and everyone has their own pace. i've been making gifs for a decade now and i know there are things i could do better! i'm also still learning, i make plenty of "shit" gifs before stumbling my way to something i am okay with posting, and sometimes i'm really proud of what i've made and other times i think it's just "good enough". i understand feeling disheartened but please do not feel stupid about any of this!

no use in putting yourself down, now hold my hand and let's add the finishing touches on this long ass reply <3

3) tips — we've mentioned video quality, sharpening, and sizing. what else, what else. personally i would start simple (and i did, way back when, and still do!! most of my gifs are quite simple). so: cropping/resizing + coloring + sharpening. it'll help get the basics down and then you'll have a good foundation for everything else you might want to learn. i mentioned in another ask, almost two years ago now lmao, that i used to download other people's free psds (that is, pre-made settings and layers to color your gifs) and instead of using them i would open them up and pick them apart to see how people were coloring things, which layers they used, in which order, stuff like that.

remember: there is no right or wrong to do this! you could ask ten different people how they make their gifs, and their preferences for any specific part of the process, and you'd get ten different answers. if you find a tutorial and don't vibe with it, throw that aside and look for another. pick and choose, find what works for you and what doesn't! and that means do not be afraid to experiment and try things out.

also, don't like photoshop? no problem! i started with gimp, now personally i wouldn't recommend it over ps but it's a good program, it taught me a lot, and there's really nothing to hate about it. it might have less functions than ps though, and already a decade ago there weren't that many tutorials/resources for it.

don't like photoshop AND don't want to download a program? try photopea, i haven't used it but it works directly from your browser and it should do everything photoshop does!

let me know if there's anything else i can help with <3

#fra.xml #fra.txt #long post / #anonymous

[hecatesbroom]

How I organise my (fic) writing in Notion

@this-geek wondered how I organised my works in Notion, and considering I'm nothing if not always happy to ramble about anything concerning lists and sorting my various things, here we are ;) thanks for giving me an excuse to talk about this haha

Under the cut because I have unfortunately rambled quite a bit (sorry!)

Okay so first off: I really only use Notion for my fic writing (I prefer to work on original projects in physical notebooks or Word, for reasons unknown to even me) and I only keep my first drafts in here. I move on to Google Docs for second drafts (again, who knows why I do this? I sure don't!) Anyway, onto the organisation:

This is what my main page looks like! I have some fancy sidebars I never really use, the to do list is horribly outdated, and I haven't updated that quote (from one of my favourite book series: The Locked Tomb) in ages, but I still think it looks nice!

The thing this is mainly about, though, is the part in the middle that says "all fics". This is what Notion calls a database. It's basically one gigantic collection of pages (in my case: fics) that you can add tags to and display in various different ways. I prefer gallery view because it allows me to add a picture to the overview if I want to. I used to do this for my Locked Tomb fics and it looked pretty fun:

The thing is that it's also a lot of work to find pictures to match your fics (and nowadays I'm more focused on writing than all the thing surrounding it) so my Golden Girls overview looks more like this! I still like the gallery view because it gives you a little preview of every wip :)

As you can see, there's lots of different tags under the titles. The stuff you see in this view is a quick overview (mostly to help with sorting, so all my posted wips line up, and the rest shows up according to which state of unfinishedness they're currently in)

When you click any fic in this view, you'll be taken to the actual fic, and its complete overview of tags & info! I like to keep track of a lot of things (when I remember to, anyway). Here's a little overview for the things I tracked for the finish line :)

Created: shows me the date I started the document (and therefore the fic). Very useful! I love this feature a lot

Fandom: is mainly there for organisation purposes! I set my gallery view to toggle per fandom, so it's all sorted into neat little sections thanks to this tag

Characters: pretty self explanatory

Type: I've got several categories here: "one-shot", "multi-chapter", "drabble", "ficlet", and (reserved for one AU in particular) "i honestly don't know anymore"

Status: again, there's quite a few options for this one: "plotting", "writing draft 1", "1st draft", "2nd draft", "finished", "posted", "hiatus" and "abandoned" (which I rarely use)

Quick summary: is where I play around with my ao3 summary whenever I'm bored and don't really feel like writing

Draft 1 wc: I usually just put the final word count for the first draft there, unless I remember to track individual writing sessions (in which case I add those word counts as well, like in the example above, because I love looking back on the process!)

Draft 2 wc: I tend to completely retype a fic into my google docs for the second draft. Once I've done that I put the end result into my Notion doc

Finished wc: after I've reread and edited my 2nd draft, and possibly managed to have it all get a little out of hand (like you can see in that doubled word count for the finish line, lol) I put the finished word count here!

WC goal: is just a fun way to see what my initial idea was for the fic (I try to set a goal when I've got a general idea of what I want the work to look like, and always end up exceeding it)

The rest of it is just my writing, basically! Scroll down from there and you get the body for the fic :)

I hope this was somewhat helpful! I'm not a pro at Notion by any means, but if you have any questions or need some help, feel free to ask! I'm happy to try to help out!

#notion #alys.txt #my writing #how does one tag this lmao #notion tour #is that a thing?? #i think that's a thing

[theinstagrahame]

Not to go all Game Designer on Main (too late, I know), but again found myself thinking about D&D as a game, and again... failing to see the appeal.

By volume, combat accounts for like 75-80% of the rules. I find the combat system ponderous and dull, which means I tend to avoid it at all costs. I just don't find it fun to wait 10 minutes for my turn to Do the Cool Thing on my character sheet, find that the opportunity passed 2 turns ago, and whiff my basic attack *again*.

But this leaves us with about 25% of the rulebook being dedicated to everything else, including a lot of the rules people always tell you you can ignore (encumbrance, lifestyle, food and water, etc). What's left is a bunch of stuff that I find interesting (sneaking, animal handling, perception, deception, acrobatics, sleight of hand, and a bunch of other stuff). But, we again run into mechanics that I am not interested in:

1d20 + Modifier vs Difficulty

The DMG doesn't have a ton of guidance for how to set Difficulty (not no guidance, but also not much I found helpful when running), so it feels very arbitrary. Players also don't have a wealth of resources to impact that roll, outside of Advantage/Disadvantage (which is probably why people are always asking if they have it).

And the outcome is usually either: you do the thing OR you do not do the thing. Which, depending on context, could be interesting, but could also be boring, or possibly soft-lock some content behind a door you can't open.

Plus, I think other systems do it better. Here are some other systems I'm familiar with, and how they do it (I think) better:

Powered by the Apocalypse

One of the core ideas of PbtA games is that whenever the players touch the dice, something in the world should change. So, something as simple as picking a locked door becomes way more interesting, because if you fail, you could: Alert guards to your presence, Take harm, Lose something valuable, or Whatever Else the GM Comes Up With.

We are still looking at a roll:

2d6 + Modifier vs 2-6 Fail; 7-9 Mixed Success; 10+ Full Success

Adding that extra layer of success changes a lot. Mixed Success adds a lot of Narrative Juice, because in addition to the players' success, their situation can get worse. Statistically, 7-9 is also more likely than the other two outcomes (I think? I did get a D in stats in college), meaning you can succeed but also make things a lot worse for yourself in a few rolls.

But another neat design element is: moves with triggers. Players can choose moves during character creation that also impact how things progress. The move might trigger "When you pick a lock" or "When you fail to pick a lock", and then give the player or the GM some kind of tool to use during that situation. Sometimes it's just a tweak to the modifier, sometimes it's another option for the outcome. In some cases even it's "whenever you pick a lock, the door always opens; but on a failure, the worst possible thing is on the other side."

Now, picking a lock is a really interesting choice.

Special Case: Monster of the Week

MotW in particular has a neat additional mechanic: Luck. Players can spend their Luck resource several times per campaign (usually 7), and declare that a roll was a Full Success. The resource is Limited, and the book tells GMs that players who run out are Doomed, which makes it a capital-D Decision every time someone uses it. This forces us to wonder: Is this lock *worth* picking? Is it Mission-critical, or can we find another way in?

Forged in the Dark

As a system, FitD is very much drawn from Apocalypse games, and has some similar ideas behind it. But, we have some interesting changes.

First, a roll is a bit more of a process:

Describe your process. Work with the GM to determine what kind of roll you're doing. (This is interesting, because different skills have different statistical ratings, but also because they can change the outcome. You could "Engineer" the door lock open, or you could "Wreck" it; both will get you past the door, but one may take more time, while the other may leave more evidence).

Determine Position and Effect. If it goes well, how well does it go? If it breaks bad, how bad does it go? (Knowing the stakes up front helps you make a decision about what resources to commit, and feels realistic, in that your character would be able to foresee some possible outcomes).

Assemble a dice pool, based on your rating and any resources you're spending. (Dice pools are already a different mechanic, but you also have resources to increase your odds. All characters usually have Stress or a similar resource, which you can spend for extra dice, position, or effect--or that your colleagues can spend to help you out).

Roll the dice. Look for the highest result (or Lowest if your rating is low). Again, we're looking at Success/Mixed Success/Fail. Things change in the world based on it. (FitD games also use a lot of clocks and tracks, and typically a Mixed Success or Failure ticks up some of the "Bad" clocks, and Successes or Mixed Successes tick up "Good" clocks. Some of these clocks are secret, and some are open, which gives players a sense of how their actions have consequences.)

Resist consequences. You can also spend stress to undo some of the negative aspects of a roll. (If the GM introduces a bad consequence, such as "You set off the alarm while picking the lock", you can roll and take stress to say "Actually I stopped that.")

There are also PbtA-style moves with triggers, but the dice mechanic here is already doing a lot. I like that the stakes are written up front, and it also encourages the GM to come with some ideas for what could go wrong, but not plan too much (Which I also really hate doing anyway; planning is hard!)

It feels like a lot written down, but genuinely when you're playing, it feels very smooth. It also helps keep people engaged, because the options to help are more at the forefront, and the outcomes impact everyone equally.

No Dice No Masters / Belonging Outside Belonging

This one is a slightly odd case, but it also draws from the PbtA design philosophy. Generally BoB games are GMless, so we're already putting everyone's hand on the narrative ball in a different way.

Your character sheet will probably have something like the following:

Strong Move (Spend 1 token to...)

Succeed without any negative consequences

Basic Move (You can always)

Complete a task, but draw unwanted attention

Weak move (Gain 1 Token when you)

Completely fail at a task and draw unwanted attention

Let's assume you already have 1 Token, and you want to pick the lock.

You could do it. But, you can also talk to the rest of the table and ask: "Hey, is it narratively interesting if I succeed here? Or are things going a little too smooth, and should we mix things up?"

This is probably one of the things that trips new NDNM players up, because it's so unlike other systems. You can choose the outcome! You and your fellow players are encouraged to "Metagame". You're telling a story with your friends, and it can be the story you think is cool.

Resistance System

(as seen in Heart and Spire)

Resistance is another dice pool system that uses Stress, with d10s instead of d6s. There are also moves, as in other systems. But, there are a few interesting things that I think are worth looking at.

Characters have Skills that they're good at, and Domains that they're familiar with. A Skill is going to be something like your Lockpicking (or a more general, like, mechanics skill), while the Domain is going to be related to the area you're in. The locks in a "Technology" domain are going to be different than those in a "Haven" or "Wilderness" domain (I don't remember the exact terms, so I'm kinda fudging them).

So, as you assemble the dice pool, you get bonuses if you have the right Domain and Skill. You can also get a die for help from other players, as well as a die for a Knack: Something you're especially good at. The roll ends up being:

1d10 + 1d10 (if a relevant skill) + 1d10 (domain) + 1d10 (if getting help) + 1d10 (knack) (- dice for difficulty) = Success +/- Stress.

(With a gradient, where low results give you stress with no success, and higher rolls give you success with no stress, and all results in between)

The Stress is what's interesting, instead of being a resource, it's closer to your HP, but you have different kinds of it. So the GM will tell you up front what kind of stress you're taking. After you take any stress (and there are ways to not take stress, or take less of it), you roll again to see if you get fallout.

Fallout can be temporary or permanent, and usually has a mechanical consequence. Fallout can also take different levels, and upgrade over time. It does give each roll a sense that the player is pushing their luck, and hoping the fallout doesn't take hold. This makes the rolls feel very significant, because even picking a lock badly could turn into a Fallout; so is it worth taking that kind of a risk?

----

And this is just three categories of games that I think do it in a more interesting way. There are a ton of other games out there, many of which I've never even played, so I don't know how they work. I also think there are ways to spice up a 1d20+mod roll in interesting ways, but generally, I prefer that kind of stuff.

#indie ttrpgs #ttrpg dev #ttrpg design #ttrpg

[fandomanimatic-tournament]

Fandom song animatic tournament: Bracket 2 Side B

What is This Feeling? - Wicked Musical

"What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame Does it have a name? Yes! Loathing Unadulterated loathing For your face Your voice Your clothing Let's just say, I loathe it all!"

There! Right there! (Is [blank] Gay or European?) - Legally Blonde the Musical

"Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee Is he gay or European? Well, hey, don't look at me! You see, they bring their boys up different In those charming foreign ports They play peculiar sports In shiny shirts and tiny shorts"

Remember that we're voting on how Iconic they are for ANIMATICS, not for the song itself. In order to make things fair, the tone and mood of the song should not affect how iconic it is (for example, a serious song should not be considered more iconic than a joke song just because it's serious)

Propaganda and animatic links of the songs under the cut:

What is This Feeling? - Wicked Musical

Propaganda:

it is PEAK enemies to lovers material. doesn’t even need to be lovers, it can be friends, whatever it doesn’t matter cause this song works so well and it’s so good urg

i just think it's neat

Animatics with the song:

QSMP

Good Omens Ineffable Wives

Wednesday

MDZS Wangxian

Danganronpa V3

SVSSS liujiu

There! Right there! (Is [blank] Gay or European?) - Legally Blonde the Musical

Propaganda:

I promise you that any anime (or other show but I swear it is mainly animes) with two or more male characters will have an animatic for this song. It just will, of is the natural part of the process of a fandom becoming popular. People know this song even if they think they don't know this song. It is so catchy it eats you from the inside out.

It's legally blonde and a musical which is prine queer culture. Fandom is queer culture. Plus it's a banger song with a lot of fun animatics. A lot of other "fandom" songs are kinda really sad (Two Birds cough cough) and this one is just silly goofy. It's also just the right decision.

There were SO MANY of these back in the day like i swear no m/m fandom ship was immune. Extra points if the character was actually european

look, it's a classic. try and find a fandom without an animatic to gay or european. you could find one for nearly any fandom for multiple characters even. the "i thought you said...best friend" set of lines is used in incorrect quote posts to this day. it's iconic, it's a classic, we all know and love it

Every piece of media has at least one (1) character who is very gay (usually for another) and this song shows that through desperate self denial but they get there eventually. Even now I see new animatics with this song I love so dearly, demonstrating the power of this song and icon Elle Woods. You search up “is __ gay or European” on YouTube and videos from years past and mere moments ago will cover your page.

Animatics with the song:

Demon Slayer Giyuu

Room of Swords

Ace Attorney Miles Edgeworth

Revolutionary Girl Utena

OMORI

Genshin Impact Pantalone

Please be cautious and read the title, description and warning cards on the animatic videos if you decide to watch them. If you've got specific triggers I'd recommend even more caution when watching animatics of fandoms you don't know, since sometimes canon-typical themes don't get warnings.

Please keep in mind that I don't know all the media and fandoms of the animatics provided as examples and I don't have the time (nor the will) to research them all. Don't come into my notes or my ask box complaining about them being included, I will simply block you. If a ship animatic included is about an adult and a minor, do tell me and I'll take it out of the post

ALSO keep in mind that I don't know all the artists submitted; in fact, even if I do know them I do not know absolutely nothing about them as people (I do not have twitter nor tiktok) and I could not POSSIBLY have the time to research ALL of the artists' controversies and what came of them so PLEASE don't flood my inbox with the artists' entire crime list.

#fandom animatic tournament #tumblr poll #tumblr tournament #tumblr tourney

[chipped-chimera]

WIP WEDNESDAY - 12/07/23

AND IT'S ACTUALLY ON A WEDNESDAY! Thanks @theviridianbunny for the tag <3 I regret to inform you ... it's more hair again @.@ (this one is actually different, I swear)

More under the cut, as usual~

Soooo if you've been following me you probably know I've done a few things since my last WIP Wednesday, namely more tattoo stuff, and more recently ... more hair stuff.

After a LOT of agonising over it I finally consider the neck 'done' ... or done enough (vaguely ... thinking about doing something more in the transition between the tattoo and the jaw but I probably should stop honestly or I'll never stop). This means I probably have enough done to get away with taking screenshots while I work on the rest of it. Been pondering drawing up an actual plan for the rest beyond what I've been doing so far - mostly winging it and smashing things together. Might get stuff done faster, who knows.

Anyway I am back on my hair shit, yet again that's going just about ... as well as you'd expect ...

Okay okay, I'll be honest, this has been fixed but I gotta say after spending a whole 12 hrs staring at lines of code, changing entries and having to redo them several times because I'd fucked up some file name or changed my mind or found out 'no that is not where you should be putting that folder you absolute dingus' and this was the best I could do was kind of hilarious. 😂

The important part was I'd gotten it IN, which was a process and a half, considering THIS time I'm using a custom made 2048px hair texture (alpha is 4k) and a higher poly mesh - which means yeah, this is the same hair rebuilt from scratch.

After some additional fiddling ...

... and a very unamused Ven (I'm sorry hun) ...

I got it in. All of it. No missing textures, no hair cards in the hair cap slot. The physics look janky but it's somewhat intentional - this is a minimal effort rigging job based on the alt rig, the priority was to get this hair texture IN so I could see how it looked in game and how everything sat before I dug myself further into a sunk cost fallacy over this second version of the hair.

And I'm actually pretty happy with it? There is some curl distortion yeah but it's not as bad as it was last time - and considering I'd rigged that one PROPERLY is saying something. Higher poly + textures are making a big difference here. It's pretty obvious in the comparison -

Also yes I am aware this one is WAY too shiny, but that one is a considerably easy fix now I know how Vertex Paint actually affects this value. I was a bit too generous on the highlight gradient so I've already repainted what I have so far, using side-by-side references with existing game meshes to try and get it 'equal' but it's likely gonna be a lot of back and forth calibrating with that one.

Excessive shiny-ness aside I'm actually REALLY happy with how the side curl is sitting nice and neat in her jacket collar this time! Also man ... doesn't that look silky ... (ok maybe some shine is good lmao)

I guess that's kind of it on the mod front. I've got other projects in a very initial stage (it's fanfic. Ofc it's fanfic) but work on both the tattoo bodysuit + hair is eating up a lot of my daily spoon allowance so that one will happen when it happens I guess (and probably when at minimum, this goddamn hair is done).

Oh and this hair is using UUH4V. I GOT IT TO WORK. Which means I'll be able to use multiple rigs which will hopefully prevent these carefully crafted curls from getting minced beyond recognition, fingers crossed.

Anyways until next time!

(Uh, I tag anyone who read all of this. Yes you. sorry I don't know many people yet and I'm shyyy)

p.s. yes hair tutorial. soon. In the case you are similarly frustrated and desperate as I was and working on hair please note I AM VERY OPEN TO TELLING YOU ALL THE INFO just ask me. Cause tutorial might take time unfortunately. But it's in the works.

#kerytalk #my modding #wip wednesday #cyberpunk 2077 modding

[nostalgebraist]

it bothers me a little bit that people consistently mistake Frank for being a person, despite how often and how clearly you explain that this isn't the case. I guess that LaMDA makes more sense in the context of Frank, though, sad as it is; my most immediate reason for disbelieving claims about LaMDA's sentience was that the chat logs, even after editing, weren't half as interesting as Frank, but the fact is, there are people who can be convinced by LaMDA, & Frank is many times more convincing.

A few points...

First, there are different kinds of "mistaking Frank for being a person."

The most common one is the one where people say something like "haha, this almost got me! I thought a person wrote this post until I checked the bio." This seems innocuous -- like, out of context, plenty of individual Frank posts really are indistinguishable from regular tumblr posts. (Regular tumblr posts are often really weird.)

I assume you're talking instead about the thing where people say Frank "might be sentient," or similar.

I wouldn't be too hard on people for this. Consider:

People often seem to be at least half joking when they say this stuff.

Lots of people follow Frank without following me. (More people follow Frank in total than follow me.) I don't think people can (or should) be expected to read my posts about the bot before reacting to it.

I don't think most people have a clear idea in their head what it would mean for a machine to be "sentient." (I don't either.) So I don't think these people are making some precise, but wrong, philosophical claim; I think they're just talking in a vague, casual, bantering manner.

It's a standard sci-fi trope for characters to talk about an AI "gaining sentience." Even in sci-fi, it's often not totally clear what this is supposed to mean, and usually just seems to connote "self-aware in some vague sense" and/or "advanced, intelligent, capable." People are much more likely to have picked up the term from this source than from serious philosophical attempts to define it.

So I think these people are really just saying some version of "wow, this bot is impressive," in the terms they've picked up from sci-fi.

It's probable that they've been misled by sci-fi to think that "advanced, intelligent AI" naturally goes together with "AI that is self-aware in some vague sense." So when they see Frank improving over time as I develop, they (wrongly) infer that Frank must also be gaining some kind of self-awareness property.

But here, I think Frank provides useful education! People can see the bot impressing them, and doing new things over time. And they can also notice, over time, that there are some really fundamental limits that don't just go away with increased capabilities, like they do in bad sci-fi.

My hope is that going through this process with a neat, but not-state-of-the-art, chatbot can "inoculate" people against reacting the way Blake Lemoine did to a more capable (but similarly limited) chatbot like LaMDA.

And to be fully clear -- this is probably the most important point -- I have not seen anyone react to Frank in a way that was near as wrong-headed as the way Blake Lemoine reacted to LaMDA.

Blake Lemoine wasn't just making a tumblr post saying "ha ha, what if the bot is sentient." He really was (attempting to) make a philosophical claim, and he went straight to the press with it -- without, as far as I can tell, thinking as hard about LaMDA's potential limitations as most Frank users do about Frank's.

(Blake Lemoine is a super weird guy in general, as will become clear if you look into his background. I think the LaMDA sentience story is best read as a story about a particular weird and very abnormally gullible guy, who isn't representative of how most people will react to these systems.)

#ai tag #nostalgebraist autoresponder meta

[not-xpr-art]

Digital art done without a tablet (art progress)

July -> September

thought I'd share this comparison cos I feel like it really shows how I've improved in the few short months I've been doing digital art without a tablet!

also figured this might be a good time to talk about my process with digital art at the mo, which might be helpful to anyone who hasn't got a graphics tablet of some kind lol?

with both of these I started the drawing in my phone's notes app (I did briefly try another app on my phone but I found it wasn't as easy to use as the notes app... I might try looking for other drawing apps though so if I find a good one I may make a post about it lol) before transferring that file to my usual art program (which is FireAlpaca, in case you didn't know!)

I have to scale up the image at this point which does make the line art look pixelated, though I don't dislike it as I think it can help give it a pencil-like quality! it's not ideal if you want to create neat and smooth lines, though, so bear that in mind!

I then make the sketch background transparent (make sure to draw on either a white or light grey background otherwise this can be tricky to do!) so I can add the paint layer behind the drawing. I also sometimes add the paint layer directly onto the sketch layer if I don't want the sketch to be in the final piece (this is no different from the way I paint digitally with a tablet, though, so I won't go into great detail here)

I paint with just my mouse (specially my laptop's mousepad, rather than a separate mouse btw) which yes, before you ask, is a very tedious process lol! it takes a lot to learn how to control the mouse, and I definitely haven't mastered it yet, but like all art related things, it just takes practise!! I will say that I have yet to figure out how to do really blended paintings with just my mouse, but for the more painterly style I've been doing recently, using the mouse works a treat!

another note is that you can't really get pressure effects when drawing with your mouse or finger (which is effectively where the harder you press, the thicker and/or darker the line is), but I've just been working around it since the very first digital artworks I ever did had no pressure opacity to them lol...

idk tbh this whole thing is a learning process for me which is simultaneously frustrating and very exciting, and I look forward to seeing how I progress in another few months lol!

...

finally, I thought I'd share this drawing from 2013 I did drawing with just my mouse and a comparison to one I did recently too! I didn't use a reference with either so it's a kinda janky looking eye, but I like to think I've made some sort of improvement in these 10 years lol

#art advice #artists on tumblr #digital art #no tablet digital art #phone art #art improvement #art progress #i'm honestly really proud with what i've been able to produce even without a tablet! #i dont know whether i'll go long term w/o one since it is frustrating at times #but for now i'm really enjoying doing art this way! #i hope y'all agree lol??

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

LEMON

6, 10, 19, 57, 58

THANK YOU

HI TESSA

6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

Mostly hoping for the best! I try to go for a hike every weekend, and that’s where I do a lot of my writing. I’ll jot stuff down into my notes app and then when I get home I’ll flesh it out.

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

This is different for every fic, but usually it’s in the middle and most are from song lyrics. They usually come pretty easily, because I’m always listening to music, but there has been a time or two where I struggled or had a title that ended up getting changed at the very end of the process.

19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?

I think Joan Didion is a huge influence, just in the way her writing is very straightforward yet descriptive. And Gabriel García Márquez. Like, I don’t pretend to think my writing is anything like his but I really love the how playful his writing is and I really aspire to that! Also Isabel Allende, Zadie Smith, Hanif Abdurraqib, Ross Gay.

As far as fanfic writing goes, I would say I really love @liminalmemories21’s style and @iboatedhere’s dialogue. They are two of the first writers I read when I started reading fanfic. Oh! And @strandnreyes’s world building. Like. How?

57. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were reading it?

I don’t remember but I know I did a lot of googling while I was reading @birdclowns’s looking inwards because I wanted to make sure I was understanding everything.

58. what is the last thing that a fic made you google when you were writing it?

I have googled a LOT about Austin’s nightlife for my Beck 5+1 fic, specifically the indie music venues. Like. Where would TK & Carlos go to a Cumbia dance party, where does Willie Nelson usually play etc. it’s been super neat and I wanna go to ATX so bad now!

Send a fanfic writer ask!

#ask game #Tessa asks

[bonefall]

I mean fermented doesnt necessarily mean alcoholic - after all kimchi is made with fermented cabage and bread is fermented too. So is yogurt and a ton of other things we eat. Theres even some meats that are fermented for dishes too.

This is very true! And I did look into a couple of other things that are fermented-- but the problem with cats having anything fermented at all is yeast.

(CW: I talk about yeast, fermentation, alcohol, and the horrors of what yeast can do to a cat's belly. Skip this one if medical discussion of a cat in pain upsets you!)

In fact it's good you mentioned bread, because I was just looking at different types of unleavened bread exactly for this reason. If a cat eats raw dough, yeast can actually ferment in their stomach! This does exactly what you think it would, it turns their body into a chemical nightmare, distending their belly and causing alcohol poisoning

(doing research for these projects is like taking a class on how DURABLE human being are, it's insane! This isn't even unique to cats! Pure carnivores are so fragile!)

The baking process would kill all the yeast inside of the bread, but I decided that I would just not work with it. Unleavened bread and alternate rising agents are cool so I decided to explore those instead. I even found this one really interesting tidbit about how apparently bannock from Britain and bannock from American Indigenous people in America may have evolved independently, down to the linguistic roots being different.

BUT ANYWAY back to yeast

So when I was looking at fermented products, I was looking for things where there isn't yeast present, but also checked off my other rules; namely, that Clan cats are obligate carnivores.

-Kimchi is fermented vegetables, a lot of work for a Warrior to get no nutritional value. Not to mention that without pepper, garlic, and fish sauce it's just... sad cabbage. (also go watch this cool video I found about one of the last traditional onggi pot makers left in Korea because this is actually a very beautiful craft and my life has been enriched by seeing how much care goes into this process)

-This also eliminates sauerkraut, which is a more region-friendly take on fermented cabbage. No nutritional value to the cats.

-Miso can be made from barley but it requires a region-unfriendly type of fungus (Re: The reason I usually start with British tech and work backwards, another example of this principle in action)

-Yogurt and Cheese are dairy products. Warriors are lactose intolerant to begin with, but also don't have an animal they can milk on a regular basis. I don't think a nearby sheep or cow would stay still long enough for a warrior to sit and milk them

What I DID find that we could make, though?

-Vinegar. As long as it's used sparingly and diluted, it can be used as a basis for other recipes including Worcestershire sauce. Though from what I read, cat aversion to the smell of vinegar is legendary.

But I will rule vinegar-based sauces under the 'Stronger Stomachs' exception.

In addition, vinegar is an EXCELLENT cleaning product and something I can keep in mind as an excellent antibiotic next to honey.

-Hard sausage. Pepperoni, chorizo, salami... aside from finagling with the spices I have access to, hard sausage is totally within my reach and sounds like a perfect ShadowClan recipe.

-Something that breaks down poison. I'm willing to be a little bit flippant about the biology of one type of insect or animal to make a Warrior Cat version of hakarl, specifically because I want to show off ShadowClan's crafty food culture and how good they are at creative problem solving.

This one will be in addition to "slug-purging", because I learned some really neat stuff about how to make wild gastropods safe to eat and it'll be a really really cool thing to include in a "How ShadowClan can eat things other Clans can't" type entry

Come to think of it, fermentation would definitely be a very ShadowClan-based activity...

And lastly,

Alcohol

It just feels... wrong to me that there would be a culture of sapient cats who don't use any alcohol at all. Getting tweaked on purpose is practically the mark of a species' intelligence. Dolphins, elephants, monkeys, crows... all recorded finding ways to turn their terrible brains off.

So I do want to make an entry on alcoholic fermentation too, it's just like I said though, it'll take a while to get to because I have dumb math brain and a To-Do list.

But for right now, I've got another ask to answer that will give you a good "basic" alcohol for your cats if you so choose

#TW alcohol #Alcohol #Fermentation #Medical discussion #tw animal illness #animal illness #Clan Culture #Clan Culture Mini Entry

[definitelynotshouting]

Do not apologise at all for responding late!! Holiday burnout is so real, theres sm to organise so I understand completely 😅. I hope youre getting some rest between xmas and the new year, or that at least whatever you have planned isnt too hard on you :)

I am 100% willing to believe you blessed my flight lmao, hopefully it works on the way back as well :D

Is it weird to say i dont think ive ever had a blackberry before?? Idk i might have had one when i was a kid but when you mentioned the blackberry jam I completely blanked. So um. Hope it was good?

Oh no your cat!! D: Hope he's all better now

YES I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MALAYSIAN FOOD!! I would show u pics but um 🧍->🏃‍♂️💨. Ur gonna have to google it king LOL. The first day back my dad and I went out to a mamak stall (basically just a restaurant for malay-chinese-indian food), and I had roti canai (a type of flatbread with curry) and teh tarik, which I have missed dearly. I dont typically like normal english breakfast tea so getting to have authentic teh tarik was SO GOOD. Teh tarik (translating to "pulled tea") is made with condensed milk and gets its name from how after the drink is mixed it gets continuously poured over and over from one container to another until it gets super frothy.

I've also been getting reacquainted with my favourite fruits 🥰 that you cant get in Australia like mangosteen and jambu air (ai-yer). Mangos and dragon fruit you can get in australia but. um. Theyre bad. They just taste like sweet water. Also unfortunately for me rambutan i havent been able to find rambutan 😔😔. Those look similar to lychee but they taste pretty different, less tangy and sweeter.

Ive gone out with a friend to have cendol (c promounced as a "ch") which is a cold desert with coconut milk and rice jelly, along with other toppings should you choose it. Im also in the process of convincing my bff to do a 3h road trip with me specifically for food in a city called Ipoh 😭 wish me luck.

AND, im getting one of my relatives to teach me how to make rendang and char kway teow. The rendang specifically because the one she makes i prefer over what's usually made in restuarants. I think it's a state difference in recipes or smtg? So the ones you'll find in restuarants are KL/Selangor rendang and she makes from Kedah. Thats just a theory tho im not actually sure.

🧍 i realise this ask has become like 70% about food so i apologise. But. In my defense you asked >:) /j

ANYWAY. I hope youve gotten a break from the holiday work or at least have one coming up <33 Take care of yourself; indulge in your cheeses :D

-☀️

SUN ANON HELLOOOOOO im so excited to hear you got those desserts, those sound AMAZING...... also i looked up all the foods you mentioned and MAN THESE LOOK GOOD.... im a shrimp lover im gazing so hard at the char kway teow...... 👀👀👀👀👀 also holy shit these fruits look so cool???? Thats WILD ive literally never heard of these before and im having a lot of fun looking them up online and reading about their flavours and stuff!!!! Incredibly curious about mangosteen, i was not expecting it to be white inside when i looked it up and just like, the contrast of the purplish rind vs the white insides is SO neat to look at, like that feels really good on my eyeballs if that makes sense JSDBEKDNMDD also also teh tarik sounds and looks amazing i want to try that SO bad now omg

Its so funny you say that about blackberries bc where i live we have them literally growing everywhere on the side of the road AKDNWKDNKWDN in the summer when they start putting out fruit one of my roommates will sometimes go out and just pick a bunch for the whole household, and they always taste SOOOOO much better than the store-bought ones. Im genuinely not sure how to describe the taste of blackberry other than like. Its very sweet but also very tart (i go for the slightly less ripe ones tbh bc i prefer tart things to super sweet) at the same time, and sorta pops in your mouth a little bit when you chew it. Honestly its one of my favorite fruits i would highly recommend them if you can find em anywhere!!!!

My resolution this year is a bit silly but i wanted to go for a very fun easy one, so its to use every sticker i own this year :] ive already started by putting a few on the creeper minifridge that my roomie got me for xmas 😂😂😂😂😂😂 and i have some scrapbook ideas as well to use my fancier ones that my friends have gotten me!!!! Also you are so valid about the writing-- tbh if you wrote more than expected then it sounds like you succeeded instead of failed, so thats awesome!!! :DDD

I hope you're doing well on your travels, sun anon!! And when the time comes may your flight back to Australia be as peaceful and pleasant as the one you experienced when you left it :]

#shouting speaks #asks #long post #THIS RULES I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT STUFF #i wish i could share more in return!!! at least there's blackberries 😂😂😂😂 #txt

[molochka-koshka]

So this ended up being a lot longer than I planned, and I'm probably going to do another chapter or two at some point, but I made a site to host all my WotR and other fanfics s o

Check that out here

This fic is borrower au Tristiel (which is what I'm calling Tristo x Sosiel from now on because I'm lazy and don't want to type all that out heheh) because I'm a sucker for size difference even when it's unrealistically drastic 😌

I'm also going to add the fic below the cut, but it's long so it may be easier to read it over there??? No clue tbh!

Title: The Devil's in the Details Pairing: Tristo (knight commander) x Sosiel Vaenic Words: 2933 CWs: Significant size difference (Sosiel is a few inches tall)

Tristo crouches beside the torn bag of rice, thumb hooking into the small opening and running along the cut (not ripped) section of burlap of the hole.  The young guard who’d alerted him to the pest issue had made it sound much worse than this–the younger aasimar (peri-blooded as well but nicer about it than Tristo) had rushed into the fort, sprinting upstairs (nearly knocking Nenio over in the process), and had come to Tristo like rats were the greatest enemy to the Crusade,

Tristo can’t fault him for that at least, even if it’s not a real problem–yet.  Rats and other pests could spell out life or death for the crusaders if the problem goes unchecked.  Regill and Melies both had suggested that this was beneath him, and could be more easily solved by someone else, but he’d disagreed.  He wants to endear himself to the crusaders, at least a little bit, even if it’s not immediately pragmatic to do so.  It will pay off in time.

Now, in the food stores, Tristo is faced with a dilemma.  These are very neat rats.  Usually rats gnaw and tear, but whatever pest did this cut it so cleanly that if it weren’t such a small opening Tristo would think a knife had done it.  And maybe one had, after all, nobody is terribly meticulous around here unless they’re being closely observed.  It could have been an accidental knick. “Is that it,” he asks the anxious guard, standing up straight again.

“N-no…” the guard says, shifting slightly on his feet.  “Um–”

Tristo casts a firm, serious look at him.  He wants to tell him to spit it out, but he’s trying to control his temper.

“I noticed something the other night, stealing some fresh fruit.”

Fresh fruit is expensive to import in this gods forsaken part of the world, so that’s more of a cause for concern than a tiny hole in a twenty pound bag of rice, but it’s how the guard words it that makes Tristo pause, his brows knitting together in mild confusion.

“I think it was a fey or something,” the guard continues.  “It looked almost human, but it was tiny, rat sized, I mean.”

“Then why didn’t you say that upfront,” Tristo asks, jaw tightening.

“I didn’t want to sound stupid–”

“You sound stupid now that I know you lied to the Knight Commander of the crusade.”

The guard falls silent, golden eyes going wide at Tristo’s reproachful tone.

Tristo lets out a slow breath, closing his own dimly glowing eyes, before turning to look at the stores again.  Fey would make this a lot more difficult to deal with than rats, even if it’s something small like a pixie.  They’re more intelligent than rats, sure, but reasoning with them is out of the question usually.  A magical trap to catch the next one that tries to steal food from the crusade would be the best bet to stop this thief.

There are plenty of skilled mages in the crusade, wizards like Nenio and witches like Ember, who’d be useful for something like this.  Tristo doesn’t care.  It’d look good if he took care of this personally, like he’s just like any other soldier.  More than that though, he wants to hold down whatever fey has been stealing from them and send it back to the first world screaming and begging for his mercy, and he doesn’t trust the others to be able to handle that with the same level of finesse as him.  Even if Daeran were an option (he isn’t, Tristo still doesn’t want to speak to him after the incident with the roses), Tristo doesn’t think he could handle it in the way that he wants it handled.

Being in the Order of the Gate has its perks, and knowledge of magic is only one of them.  Tristo was born a sorcerer before he became a Hell Knight, gifted with a mixed bloodline that gave him access to very useful spells innately, and the Order had only honed his skills to a fine edge.  A deadly edge, at that.  Invisibility is an easy thing to attain, if you know magic, and as he sits perched on top of a wooden crate, sitting and watching the room closely, he knows that he won’t be noticed unless the fey is looking for him.  He hopes that’s the case, anyway, unfortunately knowledge of the fey is an area that he’s admittedly lacking in.

A sound catches his attention, and he whips his head around to focus on it.  It’s not a fey.  He rises to his feet and lunges at the small figure, hand wrapping roughly around it.  It’s small, only a few inches tall, and writhes furiously in his grasp as the invisibility spell fades away.

Tristo doesn’t understand what he’s looking at, until the man in his hand starts nervously babbling up at him in common, not in any strange fey language.  Even then, he doesn’t really understand what he’s seeing.  A reduce person spell wouldn’t make someone this small, not as far as Tristo would know anyway.  The worst part of this is that the man is handsome, and Tristo actually feels guilty for being so rough with him.  It doesn’t change the fact that this is a thief though, and he squeezes the man in his grasp slightly.

“Did you think you wouldn’t get caught?” He asks, cutting him off.

The man looks up at him and barks out a nervous laugh after a pregnant pause, like he’d expected something else to happen.  “Honestly, I’ve been doing this for months and haven’t been caught yet, so… Yeah.”

Tristo looks over the stores.  Usually with pests, where there’s one there’s a whole colony.  The stores don’t look like they’ve been picked over by a colony of… Whatever this man is.  Tristo hums softly, and relaxes his grasp slightly.  The man sucks in a breath, and casts his brown eyes up at Tristo’s face.  When Tristo meets his gaze, he recoils slightly.

“So,” the man asks, voice trying so hard to be calm, steady.  “Is this the end then?”

Tristo thinks for a moment, then shakes his head slightly.  “No, it’s not.  Not of your life anyway, which is what I assume you mean.”

“It is.  Small blessings, I guess.”

Tristo grins, and the man’s deep brown cheeks flush slightly at that.  Small.  Tristo wants to make sure that he’s aware of just how small he is.  He hears the door to the stores starting to open, and he quickly wraps his fingers firmly around the small man in his fist, hiding him by tucking him quickly into his pocket.  A cold breeze blows in with the same aasimar guard from earlier.

“Did you see anything, Knight Commander,” he asks, ever so professionally.

Tristo regards him, then shakes his head.  “No,” he says resolutely.  “Nothing.”

The young man seems to deflate, shoulders slumping.

“I don’t doubt that you saw something, though,” he assures him as he approaches.  The other man shrinks back from him slightly–it’s a small, subtle motion, but Tristo knows that he has that sort of effect on people.  Tristo smiles.  “Keep an eye out for it, for me?”

“Yes sir– I mean yes, Knight Commander, sir.”

Tristo takes his time getting back to his quarters, surprised that the figure tucked away in his pocket is so calm–he’s not trying to escape, as far as Tristo can tell.  It could be the cold evening air that whips around them–a storm brewing no doubt, it could be the small thing accepting its fate (which Tristo has not totally decided yet).

He’s not sure what to do with him.  He could kill him–a swift and merciful option, send him back to the First World or whatever plane he’s from–but Tristo doesn’t want to.  He could keep him, but that too doesn’t feel quite right.  The just thing to do would be to imprison him, but why would he want to do that?  Really, it’d be almost comedic seeing the tiny man slip through the bars of the cells in the prison.  There’s cages, too, he thinks.  That’s an option, if he decides that the thief needs to be punished, but there’s also the issue of the volume of things stolen.  It’s nothing.  A meaningless amount.  Whatever this man eats in a year is probably less than what a single crusader eats in a week.

The walk to his quarters passes quickly, quietly, uneventfully, and when he starts to remove his heavy black scarf he pauses.  He sets the scarf aside slowly, and reaches a hand into his pocket, the man inside flinching away from his cold skin.  At least he was warm in there, Tristo thinks begrudgingly.  He glances back to the closed door behind him, considering it for a moment before deciding to cross the room again and lock it.  He doesn’t look at the man resting on his open palm while he does this, trying to ignore him actually.  He’d seen enough of him in the stores to know that he’s handsome, but it had been so dim in there–Tristo doesn’t want to see what he knows he’ll see when he looks down.

“Hey,” the man says, voice soft, kind.  “Are you alright?  Your hands are so cold.”

The statement surprises Tristo.  He sounds worried still, a hint of a nervous edge to his voice, but he sounds like he’s trying so hard to be thoughtful, concerned.  Tristo looks down at him and draws in a small, short breath through his nose.  It catches as he stares down at him.  He’s not just handsome, the creature–the man–he holds in his hand is beautiful.  His skin is dark and smooth and his eyes are so full of concern that Tristo thinks their roles should really be reversed.

“I’m fine.  A few minutes out in the cold is the least of what I’ve been through.”

“I can see that,” the man responds and Tristo glares down at him, eliciting a growing tension in the man’s muscles, like he’s waiting for an opportunity (and an excuse) to escape.

“I don’t need you to pity me,” Tristo snaps back, keeping his voice down still despite his anger.

“I don’t,” the man replies quickly, hands raised in a supplicating gesture.  “I don’t, really, it just looks like you’ve seen more of this war than I have.”

Tristo relaxes slightly, looking away from the man as he crosses the room again and sets him on the wooden surface of his desk, pushing papers and books out of the way.  “How much of it have you seen,” he asks the man, unable to hide his curiosity.

“None, really.  I hitched a ride here from Andoran in a saddle bag.  I think the humans I traveled with maybe ran into trouble once, but we were able to stay out of it.”

The mention of a we makes Tristo wonder if there really is a whole colony of tiny, apparently attractive, men running around Drezen, and he also wonders if that’s necessarily a bad thing for him.  The man continues speaking before Tristo can voice his concerns.

“I’ve been lucky.  I don’t need much, so I really only borrow a few things here and there usually.  Authin is just very observant, compared to other guards.”

Tristo stares at him blankly, trying to figure out where he’s heard that name before.

“Authin,” the man repeats.  “The aasimar that saw me?  He told you about me?”

“Ah.  Authin,” Tristo repeats.  “How’d you know his name?”

“I listen.  And watch.  I just have a good memory for people.”

“So you’re a spy,” Tristo says, mostly joking, a small smile barely tugging at the scarred corner of his mouth.

“No, not like that,” the man replies again, nervous, but at least seeming to understand that Tristo had been joking.  “I wouldn’t make a very good spy, the only things I manage to learn are simple things.  Peoples’ favourite foods, who loves who, names, ages, where people are from.  It’s all things that anybody could find out by just asking the person, but I really can’t do that.  Authin likes porridge with blackberry jam and honey because it reminds him of his grandmother in Kenabres, and he bites the insides of his cheeks when he’s focused on something.”

Tristo sits finally, realizing that he’s been looming over the man, hands pressed flat to the desk on either side of him as he leans forward slightly.  He leans back in the wooden chair, tall frame filling it.  “And what have you learned about me, if anything?”

The man regards him for a moment, drinking him in, blushing.  “Not much,” he admits, but Tristo feels like it’s a lie.  “You’re a Hell Knight,” he starts, and Tristo recognizes a hint of disguised (or suppressed) disdain in his tone.  “From Cheliax.  You use more magic than some of the others I’ve seen around Drezen though, like when you use a light spell instead of matches.  You always look tense, like you’re in pain or like you’re worried.  You know that people are afraid of you, but I don’t think you mind it.  You scowl so often, but when you smile it’s–... It’s a lot.”

Tristo waits a moment, watching him, letting him sit with his answer.  “And?”

“A… And what?”

“What’s my favourite food?”

The man lets out a small relieved sigh, mixed with a nervous laugh.  “The only time I’ve seen you actually react to something was when you had a fresh baked cinnamon roll.  You’re harder to read than most.”

Tristo nods approvingly.  “With some training you could make yourself useful.  Signifiers like myself–especially in my Order–aren’t opposed to the use of spies when necessary.”

The man shakes his head vehemently, taking a step back (as if he could escape).  “I’m not going to be a Hell Knight.”

“Of course not, you wouldn’t last five minutes as one.  I meant in the crusade.  But it’s just a thought.  You’re a criminal first and foremost, and I have to decide what to do with you still.”

“I suppose letting me go and forgiving me for stealing some rice and grapes is out of the question?”

Tristo pauses, thinks, shakes his head.  “It’s not out of the question, it’s just not an idea I’m fond of,” he answers honestly.  “You’re lucky enough to have survived as long as you have, why not stay with me?  You’d be well cared for here, nobody would risk harming you if they know you’re mine.”

The man blanches at Tristo’s possessive tone, shaking his head.  “I can take care of myself, thanks.”

Tristo considers grabbing him again–it’d be so easy–but decides against it quickly.  “What’s your name,” he asks finally, softly.

“Sosiel Vaenic.”

“Sosiel,” Tristo starts.  “Could I see you again?  If I decide to let you go.”

It’s Sosiel’s turn to hesitate now, like Tristo’s asking a lot of him by just asking to see him again.  “Yes,” he answers finally, drawing out the word slightly.  “But I should leave soon.  It’s late, I need to get home while I still have a chance.  I risk being seen by people far less kind than you if I wait too long.”

Tristo nods, standing again and offering Sosiel a hand.  Sosiel pauses, then walks onto Tristo’s palm, a sensation that feels unnatural but necessary to both of them.  “Just set me on the floor, if you want.  I can find my way.”  

Tristo crouches, and sets his hand on the floor for Sosiel to hop off of it.  Sosiel leaves quickly and quietly, walking towards a wall and slipping deftly into a crack in the masonry–it’s over so quickly that for a moment Tristo thinks that he’s been drugged and had hallucinated the whole thing.  He watches the crack for a moment longer, then decides that whether that was real or not will be decided if and when Sosiel decides to visit again.  Tristo removes his clothes and slips into bed, head swimming with thoughts of what had just happened until he dozes off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Tristo wakes up with the dawn, the fingers of early morning light barely reaching in through his window through a dense layer of clouds overhead.  He rolls over onto his side, drawing in a long, slow breath, readying himself for the day ahead–when he sees something move on the pillow beside him.  He sits up slightly, plucking up a small scrap of paper between his fingers.  It’s a scrap of old paper, about half the size of his palm, and on it is a drawing of him.  He’s sleeping in it, and it’s just his upper body and head, but it’s undeniably him.  The attention and care paid to detailing him is an act of love, even if it’s a small one–that much he’s sure of, even if it’s unfamiliar to him.

It would be unsettling, knowing that someone had watched him sleep, if he didn’t have his suspicions about who had done this.  He smiles slightly, pocketing the drawing after he bathes and dresses for the day.  When he’s walking down the streets of Drezen, heading for the gate, he passes by a familiar young aasimar, and a group of other recruits.

“Hello Authin,” he says politely, familiarly, as he passes.

“Hello Knight Commander,” Authin replies, a look of shock and worry on his face.  Tristo passes briskly though, not stopping even when he hears the excited (surprised) whispers of the others as he goes by.

#i also made a side character in it who's kind of adorable #i kind of want to bring him back for other stuff too maybe we'll see #tristo posting #my writing #sosiel vaenic #pwotr #pathfinder wrath of the righteous #knight commander x sosiel vaenic