#it would make the mourning scene a bit awkward | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nouvxllev · 2 months

Note

Hi loved your recent Jenna fic

I have a request where reader confesses their feelings to Jenna after a long friendship (you can figure out how long and that friendship if you want) and Jenna doesn’t really react and unfortunately something or someone interrupts them that forces them to push that topic aside or something then Jenna like shuts down because she goes over reader’s confession over and over because how did she not see it that what she felt towards reader was exactly the same thing which leads her to think over having a relationship with reader and how it’ll work or how it won’t work I’m rambling at this point so you can just take over from here if you want

Just something along those lines idk if that made sense you can ignore this if it doesn’t ha😅

so this is love?

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Gn!Reader

Summary: request!! ^^

Words: 4.7k (damn i expected it was gonna be more than 5k)

Warnings: a long fucking love confession!!! you'd think to yourself how did they even say that in one breath, jenna being the oblivious little shit, r and j.o is horrendously inlove w eachother its fuckng insane, kind of bittersweet kind of just sweet, several 7 husbands of evelyn hugo references, im yapping too much about love here

a/n: first of all, thank you so so much!! and hope you'll like this one anon, thank you for the idea!

masterlist.

"Y/n, I'm thinking about changing this scene. Just a slight bit, nothing too over the top. What'd you think?"

"Yeah? Oh, yeah. Definitely."

"But it's such a late change—fuck, I should've told Tim a little earlier. You think he's gonna get frustrated? Then again, he's a sweet guy, I don't think he will."

"Jenna. Jenna, I like you. So fucking much. It's spontaneous, a little on the weird side that I'm telling you this now in your Wednesday Addams get up with a script on your hands asking me if your idea is good or not, even if it is—everything you do is amazing—but I'm in love with you for little over a year now and it's tearing me apart so please just reject me so I can move on."

"Yeah, yeah I like the idea too but—what?"

"I like you. Jenna."

. . .

Here's the thing:

You give a poet paper, they will embellish it with their words. People will mourn over their unfortunately late mortal soul enclosed with a tomb that carries their quill and ink.

You give a painter a blank canvas with nothing but their own mind, they will create a sensation, a masterpiece, a tour de force. People will gaze upon it in awe, so valuable they will waste a fortune.

You give a musician a silent room, an auditorium with nothing but a few instruments and tarnished worksheets. They will make out of it, they will fill the room with melodies that no one would hear, yet the very vibrations would resonate with the walls.

But if someone gives out their heart to you, they will pour it all over you. They will reprogram their own organ so that it beats solely for you. They will rip it out of their chest in bleeding agony and give it to you with no price more than their own faith.

You are given no options other than cherish it, treasure it, be thankful someone admires you as such they will do anything and everything for a piece of your attention, maybe even reciprocation.

You are also given the option to trample on it, break it, shatter it into minuscule pieces that have no intention in restoring to it's formal use. Let it be nothing but a bullet to their own decision, to their own emotion, to their own choice to love you.

Jenna was given those options. None other from her friend since the day she became an actress at a young age, a childhood friend even. What now?

. . .

"...What?"

The brunette responded, murmured even, like she was out of breath. The corner of her lips forced themselves to tug into an awkward smile.

What else are you going to respond with if you're stuck in a situation where your friend of a decade, nearly how long Jenna has been in this fucking industry, tells you that they're in love with you?

You shook your head, noticing how Jenna's gaze flicker to your fidgeting hands. "I like you, Jenna. Like, like you. I love you—no, that's crossing the line. But I just... like you, Jenna. Don't you get it?"

Jenna blinked. So much for being in character. She scoffed, albeit playful, running her fingers through Wednesday's fringe, "Yeah. I like you too. We are friends. Best of friends."

You shook your head once more, slowly taking a step forward towards Jenna like you were cautious. "No, Jenna, I—" you sighed, "I like you. Romantically. Like I'm willing to be in a relationship with you like way."

Oh.

Jenna swallowed the ever growing lump in her throat, feeling her eyebrows crease yet a smile was still present on her face. Her lips parted, threatening to say anything that just comes to her mind at this point. "You… you're serious?" Her voice wavered.

"Very. Dead serious." You nodded, gulping in your own words like you were trying to swallow them whole.

"I don't want our friendship to die out because of this, I wished I should've stopped my mouth from rambling all this to you so spontaneously but I—I should've done it more romantically than this setting. I've been in love with you my whole life, I've loved you for as long as I can remember even if I lose my memories. I'm not a romantic soul, I'm more far from it, and I'll never find the words even if I'm given a lifetime to describe how much I love you. I'm… I'm not saying all of this so you could reciprocate what I feel, it's just that I'll be lying to myself everytime I breath if I don't tell you this. You're my colleague, my co-star, my friend, my childhood, my everything ever since we met on that set of that god-awful ad that I cannot for the life of me watch again. I noticed that I talk to you almost everyday, how I adapted to your weird fucking horror movies that I absolutely somehow love, how I—I bought a stupid vinyl because you liked the artist, how I started listening to your music taste, how I started writing poems, how you always manage to sneak up in my conversations with others. You don't have to even be there, and yet, you linger in my words. I would surrender everything I worked for just for you, I would do anything, sacrifice my time and all. You've been all of those and more, and it's shocking that I'm only saying this now, after five years of loving you, half of the time we've known each other."

Jenna was silent, her lips parting as if to speak, but her mind held her back. But her heart did everything to speak, yet it never came.

She was lost, unsure, afraid. She didn't understand, and she fears that you know she doesn't. She never will unless time so happens to be on her side. Breathing was the only option, and breathing out was her only relief that she was alive.

She looked at you, and you looked at her back. No words exchanged. Your hands are now fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, pulling the loose strings apart as you catch your breath.

Jenna could grab your hand, apologize, and reject you. She could throw everything you both had built and walk away, leaving you behind to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart.

Maybe that both of you will go to separate paths after filming was over. Maybe you'd tear away the contract that stated that in all your shows, Jenna should be there.

But the thought pained her.

It's painful, it's torture, it's agony, it's suffering to live in that universe where you weren't the one Jenna calls when it's a rainy day. The universe where Jenna stays awake, mellowing in her own woe, not knowing who to turn to, who to call at the dead of night. The universe where every poem on her phone, on her paper, on her notes, on every surface she had the ability to write on, wasn't meant for you.

Do you refer to that as love?

"Y/n, I... I just need some—"

"Y/n! There you are."

Shit.

Tim cut Jenna off, approaching the both of them, but more primarily you.

"Y/n, makeup team, and Jenna, your scene."

It all took Tim nothing but to speak seven words for the both of them to pry their eyes off eachother and remind themselves it was a professional setting. With professional actors and professional feelings. Nothing personal, is what Tim would say.

Jenna was an actor. You were an actor, her co-star.

That just so happens to be in love with her.

You nodded as you looked right at Tim, your gaze leaving Jenna for the first time.

Jenna was desperate to hold your hand, take a firm grip of your wrist and to tell you to 'stay' or 'don't go' like what they do at cheesy romance movies where the guy gets the girl.

But it wasn't. Jenna would've loved you if it were a movie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The question still arises on set. Dressed up as Wednesday, cameras rolling, her mind wandering nowhere near the scene but your trailer.

What do you do when a friend confesses their love to you?

A friend who's been a familiar presence in Jenna's life, a friend who's been there since Jenna learned her heart yearned for others, how it beats for other people.

Someone through every moment of self-doubt, they saved her when she couldn't save herself. Through struggles that Jenna considered could be something to gash her mending heart, but they would offer a piece of theres in exchange for happiness in her.

A friend she loves.

It's a simple. You fold your heart in half, maybe even in fourths, then tuck it away in the deepest depths of your pocket. You might stamp it, decorate it, perhaps even address it to none other than your soulmate.

What do you do if you don’t know your soulmate?

You look for them. Jenna never looked for love outside of her family or friends; her heart was content with the familiar comfort of their love. Those were the types of love she knew. She had never felt the need to pursue romance.

Probably because everyone sees some others as they want them to be in their own head. They fall in love with the idea of them, the person they want them to be. An idealized version only they see fit to their desires, a false projection.

Most people would call her beautiful or pretty. She would pass the street and people would look at her, stare at her, look at her up and down, maybe even subtly lick their lips. They look up at her like she’s a force they cannot compete with, like she wasn’t human. Not amongst them. They will compliment her base on her appearance, and in rare cases, on how talented she is.

But someone would call her glorious, like Greece, and grandeur like Rome. Someone would call her lovely, not in a way everyone calls her, but someone would look up at her with eyes that feel like they’re borrowing, harnessing even, the energy of a thousand suns to even look at her. Like she was a garden. But yet, they would also look at her like she was an old friend. An old soul, the soul that could melt yours but still be so comforting.

And it was you.

Most people would look at her and smile. Say hi, wave a greeting, a handshake if it was really needed.

But you look at her as if you were seeing something more, as if Jenna had never seen a person more in awe that you when you look at her. Like how the sun would be nothing without her, how you'll spend your whole life loving her and nothing more, how you look at her and she feels though as if she has never been admired in her whole life. If she was someone intolerable, someone unbearable, suffering to a degree you'd rather die, and you would. But only if it were in her arms.

Most people would describe her as someone talented, art, hot, stunning, sexy. Like she was nothing but a piece of imagination to someone, like her good traits were the only characteristics that made her Jenna Ortega.

But you would turn all of those down. You would say, no, in the face of the interviewer. You would say that she was the renaissance reincarnated as a single human, that was beauty in everything imperfect, she was the art that would put the Sistine Chapel to shame, the sculpture that would have Michelangelo resurrecting from the dead only to lie back of how undoubtedly perfect and impossible to replicate the pure astonishing beauty that was her.

You were an old friend of Jenna, the two of you were ever since Jenna played young Jane in Jane the virgin at twelve years old and you had approached her as an extra to be her somewhat, co-star-in-the-future-friend.

And now, she's only imagining what would've happened if you hadn't been the big ball of sunshine that you always were up until now.

There were times that you would make her laugh, putting up a half-assed comedy show whenever she's in a bad mood, but then you'll give her space if she doesn't budge. Times where you would hold her close in your arms whenever she's on the verge of tears, and times where you hold her close to you whenever she achieved something.

There were times she wasn't proud of herself, how self-doubt creeped into her mind and slowly started to deteriorate her soul, yet you were there. You called her brilliant, a genius, someone show-stopping people from all around the world would be shocked how amazing she was and a few other words that she kept close to her heart.

There were times where Jenna calls you, telling you how filming was all too stressful and she needs a break. Then you're with her the next day, surprisingly becoming an extra or maybe a new side character to her films.

You were always saying how you would protect her at the age of twelve, and she'd always respond with "how?" with a laugh, then you'd respond with a simple shrug saying, "I'd love you."

Jenna didn't understand it at first and yet you understood her in such a short amount of time. How you knew why she always has her headphones on, how you wrote down and knew at the top of a hat what she likes and what she hates, how your laugh sounded at her most darkest of jokes, how you would bring back snacks whenever you're on a run, how you would always say 'i love you' in times where she's breaking down.

And up until now, she never understood why you would protect her with your love.

Jenna was your friend but you treated her like she was your everything.

And up until now, she realized that she loved you back.

And up until now, she realized how could she even dare to live without giving you the same love as you did to her?

People tell you that relationships are easy, that they're lovely, that they tell you that love is the only thing that keeps the both of them going.

But they don't tell you the rest.

They don't tell the pain you want to go through all for your significant other. The nights you want them to be in your arms but you've gone through yet another foolish argument that created a hole in your heart that seem to never mend, but it will.

It made sense that Jenna never wanted to be in a relationship, it was scary. The answer to a question as such was always going to be no. How there was always someone going to be hurt or inflict hurt.

But it never made sense that Jenna would experience pain with no presence of mercy to be with you.

Everyone talks about falling out of love, but that's bullshit. If you fall out of love, then there must be a reason you should've never fell from them in the first place. It's something Jenna never understood why falling out of love was never a thing if love prospered and it was for all eternity.

But the thought of being in a relationship with you, and having to watch you fall out of love with her is terrifying.

The two of you would work because the both of you are long friends, childhood friends. Yet, it won't. Because the two of you were friends. What would happen if Jenna let you in the most deepest parts of her heart? What would happen if you did? Would you get turned off? Would she get turned off? She wouldn't. You wouldn't

If no one had stopped Jenna in the midst of her performance as Wednesday, she wouldn't notice she was messing up her lines. She wouldn't have noticed that she was crying.

But she did notice that one familiar scent you always carried around you; that one perfume mixed with the shampoo you used everyday. Jenna was around you her whole life and she never got tired of it. It could be the smell of her home, like that one familiar scent at your childhood home.

It wasn't long before she felt a pair of two hands grabbing her shoulders, tugging her gently, and it wasn't long before she felt herself walking with them.

The voices were drowned out, muffled, she can hear someone saying to "let her take a break until she's feeling better. Emma, your scene."

"Jenna?"

"Jenna, please, talk to me, why are you crying?"

"Shit—Jenna? Jenna, it's alright, I'm—Well, I shouldn't probably be here."

She knew that voice. How could she forget them?

It wasn't fair that Jenna's heart skipped a beat once she heard your pitch, like you were worried or concerned. She recognized it all too well that it brought a sense of comfort in her soul.

"Y/n?" She whispered, noticing how you brought her into your trailer and sat her down. "Shit. Fuck, I'm supposed to be on set. Y/n, why am I—"

"Jenna. Jenna, hey, look at me," you grabbed her hands, your touch a bit too warm as you held hers tightly, but it never failed to give her peace. "I'm sorry, I know I'm not the one who should be doing this since you know, the whole shit that happened an hour ago."

Jenna looked down at your hands, your thumb slowly caressing the back of her palm, a silent permission. A permission she would always grant with open arms. Or maybe hands in this case.

You nodded, fixing yourself up on the couch as you look at Jenna. "We're gonna take deep breaths, alright? I'll be here, don't worry." You squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"No, y/n, I—I need to tell you something, please—"

"Jenna." You sighed, noticing how it wasn't out of annoyance but out of concern. "Your voice is cracking, you're stuttering, you're in a higher pitch than you are normally. And more importantly, you have tears in your eyes." You would sooner or later interlock your fingers with Jenna's offering another reassuring squeeze. "I'll protect you. You're safe with me, don't worry, please, Jenna."

Oh.

. . .

You know, people think sex is intimacy, the highest form of intimacy there is.

But they're wrong.

It’s being able to realize something heartbreaking, something that cuts you deep in your soul to the point where no amount of bandages will help. But somehow, someway, someone so special could heal it with their words.

It’s where you can be vulnerable with someone, be happy, be sad, be angry, be every emotion you’re afraid surrendering to. They will wrap their arms around you and whisper to you that they’re there for you. You’re safe with them.

It’s when you realize that heaven couldn’t be real if it isn’t with them.

It's when you realize that everyone got it wrong in perceiving them, noticing how you're the only one who truly understands them.

It’s when you realize every living and late poet was wrong in their writings, in their words, in their books. Love wasn’t an emotion, it wasn’t a choice. It was someone. Someone special.

It’s when you realize if ever you’ve completely turned the whole world against you, the time where you’ve devastated everyone in turn for your own selfish needs. Yet you will find yourself standing in front of them. Realizing you’ve spared them from your wrath.

You expect them to hurt you. To break you, to do everything within and over their power to make you experience the same pain you’ve inflicted.

Yet they will show no betrayal.

They will simply show understanding, awe even. Love. They will catch if you if you fall from the top you’ve tore and exhausted yourself. They will sing to you if you feel every melody has nothing. They will do everything, they will accept you, not only because of you, but because of what you carry, what you’re pretending not to be.

Love was never easy, Jenna knew that. You don’t listen to Pat Benatar or The Cascades to not know what true love does to someone; It will shatter you, then mend your now fragile heart like its nothing. It will let you experience grief, then peace. It will let you feel nothing, then everything. It’s not simple, never is. It’s complicated, it’s fucked up. It’s terrifying. So fucking terrifying.

But if Jenna was going to experience everything she’s thinking of right now; Agonizing heartache that feels like mercy isn’t even an option, and peace she had never felt before, it was going to be with you.

. . .

"Jenna? Jenna are you—"

She had never really truly felt luxury in a while until she let her trembling hands reach up to cup your cheeks, stealing one glance away from your eyes before closing her own and softly pressing her lips against yours.

What do you say to a friend you realized you’ve fallen in love with now?

Maybe you’d kiss them, like what Jenna is doing now. Let yourself bring peace in your world that is full of unjust morals—let them be a light, be something that felt half as right as loving the taste of their lips on yours.

Maybe you'd let them into your world. Remind them of how they're the only ones in this life were worth devoting your entire life to, how being in their presence was an experience of a life time.

Maybe you'd let them care about your entire being. Let yourself be vulnerable, be free within their arms. Let them tell you that they're going no where but to where you're headed, that peace only belongs to a place where you're present.

Maybe you’d tell them how you like the way they look at their belongings like it was their favorite part of the day? Tell them how they make you feel that everything is possible, how you knew that you’ll be living as much as they would be smiling.

Or maybe, Jenna would say this,

"Y/n," she broke off the kiss, her hands returning to her lap and intertwining with yours. "I'm sorry. I couldn't give a proper reaction to your confession earlier. It was so stupid of me I—"

You laughed. Fuck, your laugh was beautiful.

"Don't worry, Jenna. You don't really feel the same way as I do, and that's fine. I just—I just hope it won't ruin our friendship, you know?"

Jenna scoffed, eyebrows creasing, "No, y/n, give me time to talk, please." She laughed, then took a deep breath.

"I love you, y/n. I never really realized that, I mistook them for something lesser. Mostly because love wasn’t the right term to describe it. Love is simple, fast, overused, something tossed around so carelessly that it couldn't be something I'd say to you; you don’t deserve such a weak word that has no meaning but tarnished from other people. It’s not complex, like how you’re represented in my soul, how you grown ivy around my heart as if I’m trapped in your unbearable love, yet why do I accept such an idea that is only a metaphor that I wish it were true? It's clear that no one knows me greater than you have. It happens more often than not that people will see right through me, only to find a barricade of walls that reflects repressed emotions that keep them from entering. But you tell a different story, different words that people don’t use to tear at my heart. You whisper something so precious that I wish to hear again but I shouldn't before I fall. You unravel my soul with a gentleness that defies everything, that makes me wonder where pure tenderness comes from if it isn't from you. I've known you for long enough to know what the sound of your voice is in, whether your anxious or joyful, how your voice is the sole reason why I sleep without your arms wrapped around my body. I want nothing but to hold you in my arms, to lie beside you in nothing but eternal slumber then rise again if you are ever disturbed. I want to fear nothing, to be afraid of nothing, to have death be a mere word unless your name is next towards it. My name is always associated with me being an actress, a talented one, someone who would no longer be a name hidden in the dust but someone who would rise to the top. A glamorous world is what they would tell me, everything I would want is granted. But why aren't you there in the vision they see? The lover that I yearn for, a home that would finally bring me peace, the home that I wouldn't escape from with bare melodies that lay emotions that I couldn't voice. I just—Fuck, I love you, y/n. Through a decade we've been together, it's only now that I realize that life without you is simply a life worth killing myself to. Death shouldn't be an option when you're around me, it should be something we'll defy, an afterlife that would fail in making us part ways from eachother. I love you. Really. I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to say or do, but I love you. I've realized that."

The silence was unbearable, only now did she realize she blurted out a confession only those who're dead can say in a sentence without stuttering.

"No, no Jenna…" You pushed her hands away from yours, the action stinging her own hands as you stepped back, putting unfamiliar distance between the two of you.

"Y/n, what?" She scoffed, her voice betraying her of a flat tone, "What do you mean, I thought—" Jenna immediately reached out for your arm, her words were faltering, her fingers now trembling as they threatened to brush against your skin.

She was expecting to get yelled at to leave, to never show her face to yours ever again. But as she looked into your eyes, she was met with tears that dared to glisten your gaze. "Are you… are you crying?"

You chuckled, "You know… You know I can't compete with that confession, Jenna. It's unfair to those who don't have a habit of staying up late and writing poems." You brought your hands up to your eyes and wiping away the tears that fell on your cheek, only to be replaced by warm ones.

Jenna cupped your face, her thumb caressing the gentle touch and warmth of your skin, feeling how you leaned into her touch almost immediately. "Oh, you're awful. You had me worrying that I said something wrong or you changed your mind."

"Oh, no, never." You laughed it away, shrugging the tears that continue to stain your face. Then, without a word, you reached up to cradle her own face in your hands, letting her place them down on your lap and close the remaining distance of the two of you that were seated far too apart from eachother.

"I never really thought that you'd say yes. Or say something too poetic." You whispered to her, daring yourself to not drown in her pool of brown eyes that threatened to kill you if you looked too closely.

"I never really thought that I would truly love someone, and look at that turned out."

"Like what?"

"Like I never wanted to love someone more than I loved everything." She tilted her head, leaning forward and closing the distance between your lips and hers. A soft but gentle press to your own, yet it was fervent.

She pulled away, only so slightly that your lips never touched eachother again before they fall into the same predicament as addiction. But close that she could feel your heartbeat, your warm breath against hers, everything that made you you.

"So, this is love?" She whispered.

"Dangerously attractive in a form of a human?" You smirked, winking even, before Jenna rolled her eyes.

She scoffed, "I was going to take you out to dinner, but you are awful at charming someone."

"Take me out to dinner and I'll never make that statement again."

"Deal. I'd splurge a shit ton of money for you not to repeat it ever again."

"You pain me. I love you."

"I love you too."

And then she kissed you, holding you tight as if reminding you're more than just a friend.

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a/n: i'm in a desperate need of a girlfriend. also in the span of my 1 week break ive written only 2 stories. its such a low number damn 😭😭😭 (+ then he kissed by by the crystals reference at the end!)

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega #jenna marie ortega #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x femreader #jenna ortega x female reader

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bg-brainrot · 3 months

Text

"When He’s all but Forgotten How to Love Again" - Astarion x GN!Reader - Series Masterlist

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Elf!Tav for plot reasons)

Genre: Reincarnation, Angst, Mystery, Slow burn

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Canon-Typical Violence, cw: blood, cw: Astarion's entire backstory, cw: sex, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Eventual Fluff, Grief, Mourning, Developing Relationship

Series WC: 113k words and ongoing, 21/?? chapters

Summary: An Elf-Tav reincarnation story where Reincarnated!Tav dreams about Astarion in their nightly reveries and eventually seeks him out once they reach maturity. Things definitely totally go well.

Author’s Notes: I'm bringing over some of my multi-chapter fics from AO3, so if you've already read this, ty!! I love you and appreciate you so much! I will continue to add chapters as I format them, but the full fic is available on AO3 here if you're feeling like a binge.

Heads up-- while there will be explicit moments, this is first and foremost focused on romantic tension and yearning, asking the question: 'Would you still love me if I was someone completely different?’ Explicit scenes will be few and far between and very much focused on their feelings. It’s essentially an established relationship slow burn?

This has unascended Astarion, “good” choices are made in the original timeline, Tav needs to be an elf for this to work, but otherwise no specifics on past Tav. Present day Tav is a magic-user.

Chapters:

Chapter 1: Knifes and Nightmares

At 12 years old, you first dream of the Pale Elf. The encounter scares you and sets you on your path forward.

Chapter 2: The Second Encounter with the Pale Elf

Nearly 19, you think you have a handle of your past lives. However, not all of your past lives are created equal.

Chapter 3: What it Means to Love

Now 29, you're still trying to piece together parts of your past. In particular, what exactly was your relationship with Astarion?

Chapter 4: In this Lifetime

Now 99-years-old, you've managed to ignore your worst impulses to run off to Baldur's Gate. One night's reverie finally breaks you.

Chapter 5: Guidance from a Druid

After finally setting off to find Astarion, you receive a confounding memory from your past life. Ignoring what it might mean, you focus on your task and visiting Halsin, one of your past-self's friends.

Chapter 6: The Man of your Dreams

You make your way toward Astarion, trying your best to prepare for the encounter to come.

Chapter 7: Just One Night

You plead your case to the vampire.

Chapter 8: Who You Have Become

You try to learn more of who Astarion's become, while also trying to convince him of who you were.

Chapter 9: Ghosts of You

After he storms off, you try to track Astarion down only to find yourself on a trip down memory lane. Once you do catch his trail, you’re surprised to see where he’s gone.

Chapter 10: Overheard in the Underdark

You traverse a new landscape, looking for Astarion. What you find might be more than you bargain for, and what you hear might be too much to handle.

Chapter 11: An Interrogation

You spend the night in vampire prison and have a difficult conversation.

Chapter 12: The Source of his Pain

As you aim to leave and never look back, Astarion realizes that perhaps *he's* the one that made the mistake.

Chapter 13: And They Were Roommates

You and Astarion try to find a common ground between you. Things are awkward and tentative, and progress is anything but linear.

Chapter 14: A Blossoming Friendship

Now in your second week of living together, you and Astarion have to get past some of the hurdles your first week introduced, all while getting a bit closer along the way.

Chapter 15: More than Friends Pt. 1

Push finally comes to shove. As fun as living in the present is, Astarion forgets that present dangers are still very, very real. Afterward, emotions run high, and you find yourself in a familiar predicament.

Chapter 16: More than Friends Pt. 2

After talking through the previous night's tryst, emotions are confused, pasts are divulged, and everything comes to a head when your heart and soul want different things.

Chapter 17: What We are Now

When you’re left to your own devices, you find yourself knee-deep in mystery. Despite all of this, Astarion never leaves your mind. And perhaps you never leave his.

Chapter 18: Traveling with a Friend

You and Astarion travel together to Waterdeep. Emotions run high as you reconnect and reestablish your boundaries.

Chapter 19: The Wizard’s Tower

After traveling through Waterdeep, you and Astarion finally arrive at Gale's tower. Introductions are made, tours are had, and the relationship between yourself and Astarion continues to remain complicated.

Chapter 20: Sweets and Shopping

After receiving some advice from Gale, you and Astarion spend the day shopping and talking through your friendship.

Chapter 21: Dansarra’s Delights

Your wizard friend gives you a nigh impossible task, and you spend the day trying to find your opening to complete it.

Chapter 22 - TBA

...

#astarion #astarion x tav #fanfic #astarion fic #astarion x reader #astarion fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion masterlist #gn reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x gn!tav #astarion baldurs gate #bg3 astarion #when he's all but forgotten how to love again #whabfhtla #reincarnation trope #elf!tav #astarion x you #astarion slowburn

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roseastralis · 2 years

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revenge at its utmost finest

— part 2 of his utmost regret

pantalone ( regrator ) x eighth fatui harbinger lover reader ; 851 words

➹ genre ; angst, death

➹ info ; his utmost regret part 2, pantalone x gn!eighth fatui harbringer lover reader, they/them and 'you' prns used.

➹ warnings ; character death, suicide

➹ author's note ; hope you enjoy the part two, even if it's a bit boring. lowkey accidentally made pantalone a yandere here💀 but oh well, pantalone can steal my heart any time💘💘🌹

➹ masterlist

“We are gathered here today, to mourn for the loss of our fellow harbinger. May they rest in peace, and thank them for their contributions to our Majesty The Tsaritsa.”

The rest of the harbingers bow, but Pantalone stays still, just staring at your casket scattered with ashes inside. The fact that it was just your ashes in there and not your corpse irks him, his eyebrows forming into a frown.

"My condolences to you, Regrator. Your lover fought hard and dedicated their life to the Tsaritsa. Her Majesty sends her deepest condolences as well. Your lover was strong, but I guess they were not strong enough.” Pierro simply says as he pats him on the shoulder before leaving Pantalone's sight. Naturally, the other harbingers followed and agreed with what The Jester said—causing Pantalone's blood to boil.

Pantalone clenched his fists. ‘Your lover was strong, but they weren't strong enough?’ Absolute bullshit. He was angry, he hated those words that came out of Pierro's mouth. And he hated the fact that everyone agreed with Pierro as well. He was angry, he hates the harbingers. He hates himself for becoming one.

—

It was another ordinary winter night at Snezhnaya, another night where Pantalone hugs your casket and mourns once again. It was cold and icy, his fingertips turning red, as well as his nose and the edges of his ears. But he didn't care at all, all he cared about was you. He missed your smile, your comfort—he missed your love and affection. But it all disappeared because of the dangerous mission that was assigned to you. Perhaps if another harbinger did the job, you wouldn't have died.

Pantalone swore, he promised you that he would protect you. But he did not keep that promise, and now you disappeared from his life.

“My dearest… do not worry… I know what I need to do. And after that—you can finally rest in peace.” He whispers, a few droplets of tears falling on your coffin.

—

“I do not understand what is happening. Capitano, any reports? Dottore, we need you here now.” Pierro almost shouts. Apparently, something wrong has been happening to the plans of the fatui.

“I don't think you understand, Columbina. Someone has been sabotaging our front lines. More of our troops are getting killed day by day. We can't simply stand by this, we cannot disappoint her majesty!” Pierro slams a hand down onto the meeting table, the other harbingers almost rattling in fear. It was evident that Pierro was completely upset, and whoever was meddling with the plans of the fatui definitely won't live till the very next day.

“This isn't good. What will Her Majesty think? This is complete and utter bullshit. Nothing makes sense, and we don't even know who's sabotaging our plans. But one thing for sure is that this mystery person is definitely a spy working around the fatui. Just make sure to look out and be cautious. Today's meeting will now end, we found absolutely nothing today.” The Jester quickly left the room, obviously not wanting to talk to anyone at the moment. The rest of the harbingers gulped in fear, saying awkward goodbyes to each other.

The harbingers are surely confused to what was going on behind the scenes, but they all trust each other a bit too much that they didn't even know that their own kind was the one betraying them.

Pantalone will do anything just for the fatui to crumble apart. He will not tolerate the things they did to him and his beloved. Actually, he is already watching the fatui crumble before his eyes.

—

“If you never sent my dearest on that mission to retrieve the Shogun's gnosis, then none of this wouldn't have happened, Pierro.”

“You are nothing but a fool..! Doing all of this just for love? What happened to dedicating your heart to the Tsaritsa? Did you seriously betray your fellow brethrens just because of a mere sacrifice your lover had to make?!” Pierro shouted throughout the palace caught on fire. The Jester was wounded, and he couldn't move at all. He was in a weak state, gasping for air constantly as he used his weapon for support just to stand up.

“A fool? I don't care less about the things you call me, Pierro. Look at your form, so weak and vulnerable. You're one slash away from death.” Pantalone smirked, chuckling darkly at Pierro's weak form before him.

Pantalone wasted no time and delivered one final slash, memories of him and you delivering its way to his mind. This was surely the right thing, this was simply revenge at its utmost finest.

Pierro tried to defend himself, but unfortunately—he was too late. His body received heavy pain, and darkness completely surrounded The Jester before he took one last breath.

“Is this too much my dear? Perhaps it is. Maybe I've gone a little too far, but you know that I love you a bit too much.”

Pantalone finally spoke his last words—before he stabs himself on the chest, waiting to reunite with his beloved in the afterlife.

likes & rblgs highly appreciated !! mwah <3

— thank you and special credits to this anon, who gave me the idea of making this part 2 🌹:

#🥀rose.writing♡︎#🍫rose.genshin♡︎#genshin impact #genshin #pantalone #regrator #pantalone x reader #pantalone angst #pantalone fluff #fatui harbingers #snezhnaya #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact angst #genshin impact fluff #fatui x reader

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mangoposts · 5 months

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girl i need to know ur thoughts on alahna. like for me i genuinely miss her sm bro and it makes me so upset that she still wishes they could be friends -but they’ve just like fully ignored the whole thing and have never said a WORD abt it whereas she’s constantly like reposting stuff about old friendships and such that’s def about them. also i always think about how like even IF they became friends again and like we all found out, there would always be like a sense of awkwardness knowing abt the friendship breakup. like obvi it’s happened before with youtubers and stuff where they’ve stopped hanging out but then a couple years later theyre friends again, but i really don’t know if i see that happening, and like she’s a childhood friend as well so it’s a bit different. ALSO it makes me so sad too how they make such an effort with nate and see him all the time, i just don’t get what happened with alahna like that’s my girlll. AND (sorry i keep thinking of more stuff), with the whole unfollowing thing that started it all, that really caught me off guard cos like they have other friends from boston who i bet they dont see that much, but they still have each other on insta, like there’s no need to fully remove them off all their socials ykwim?

also just another thing (IM SORRY😭) in regards to madi, i love her and think she’s so cute, and honestly by no means do i believe she’s replaced alahna cos their friendships were always so different, but for me no matter how close they get with her, it’s just not gonna compare to their childhood friendships, cos it’ll always be through her mom being their manager, so it lowks work related?? STAWP it sounds like i’m hating on her NO I LOVE HER PLS - and i do think their friendship with her is very genuine i’m just saying like the vibes i get are so diff to their boston friends

like in their videos with alahna/nate/chloe etc the friendships are just so real it just like makes me so upset bro idek( obvs it’s cos they grew up tg but yk😭😭)

sorry for this long ass rant ik its sooo not that serious and none of my business at all but like i genuinely mourn their friendship constantly ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

PLEASE.

DONT GET ME STARTED.

I don’t think anybody understand how much i love and adore alahna. No doubt i miss her ass soooooooooooooooooooo bad. I literally talk about it every single day it’s my disgusting roman empire i never stop thinking of her, I’ll die without ever knowing what happened between them. But im sure it was all for a reason, i know it doesn’t look like it makes sense but we weren’t there and we never know what goes down behind the scenes. I don’t think it was anything messy i don’t believe alahna has ever had bad intentions and she never will. But i mean it’s obvious something rough happened if they treat her that differently from the other friends in boston, ill never fucking knoooowwww and i have to get over it one day but i miss her so so so so so so sos is sos sosososowowowowowo BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. Fuck. Im not saying anybody is trying to compare, but nobody will ever compare. That’s all and if u don’t like alahna i hate you and block me

#sturniolo triplets #🥭

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findafight · 9 months

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(Okay, gonna try and send this again)

I had a whole spiel about how R0nance has the potential to be very interesting and stimulate character growth on both sides in a similar way to Steve and Eddie. Not to say that Nance needed “ego death”, but she has built too much of her identity around being the smartest person there/the only person who can find the answers, and having Robin challenge her in that way (at times without even needing to) would provide some much needed growth. Because at the moment she’s giving “gifted student who didn’t struggle in school and is going to be eaten alive at college”.

Or, if you wanted to lean into the “Bad R0nance” side of things, they have the potential for a lot of interesting dynamics, scenes and conversations that they couldn’t have with other characters. Like, Barb is already such a charged subject with Nancy - add to that the fact that Barb ditched Robin to become Nancy’s best friend. To say nothing of Steve, who is such a big part of Robin’s life, he’s going to be part of Nancy’s what her she likes it or not.

Hell, assuming that that argument prompt wasn’t meant to be cute or funny, that’s a dynamic that could be interesting to explore. Honestly, I find Nancy’s difficulty with admitting that she’s in the wrong/having to have things done her way interesting, especially in contrast with a lot of the guilt she carries being over things that weren’t really her fault (if a bit too close to how certain loved ones of mine act sometimes). And I already see enough of her sticking to her guns despite common sense going unexplored in the show (quite literally; I love surprise gun-toting badass Nancy as much as the next person, and her and Max sawing down the shotgun was a cool visual. That being said; WHEN have guns ever worked against the Upside Down?).

Anyway - my point is that it’s not that I dislike R0nance, I just find a lot of the stuff written to be OOC, that it ignores many of the elements that I think would make them interesting together, or that it downplays Steve’s importance in Robin’s life/ignores it in favour of treating him more as Nancy’s ex-turned-kinda-friend.

haha yeah I got the first one and was like hm. that's not finished...hope they continue!

yeah Nancy doesn't need the same kind of ego death as Eddie did, but she's in desperate need of the realization she doesn't need to form her identity around her academics and journalism and her ability to Solve the Mystery etc, she can be something other than that. The tidbit from rebel Robin that if Robin tried a bit more, she could be valedictorian or something is so juicy for this! I don't think this is exclusive to romo rnce tbh i think them getting a kind of friendship could be really interesting and change them.

The Barb of it all would be so good and neat to explore. God. the hurt and guilt on both sides? I want them to have a conversation about Barb!! How robin mourned her even before she died, and maybe felt like a fraud for crying herslef to sleep when Barb went missing, because they weren't really friends anymore. How Nancy feels guilt for letting Barb leave, how she wishes she could take it back. How Robin resented Nancy for "stealing" barb away, about her insecurities in her friendships because of that. I want to see it! They could have such a rich friendship!

I want to see them argue! yell! scream and cry! There's so much potential here! their personalities would clash in glorious ways even in a friendship, let alone a romo relationship! hoo hoo!

Poor Steve is just. He's there too. He can't not be, because he might be an ex Nancy didn't talk to unless the world was ending, but Robin would see him everyday? and that's awkward. idk I think people also miss that for Nancy, dating the best friend of an ex she broke up with in....not the best circumstances and tried to avoid since then would be majorly awkward! idk like Nancy has warmed again to Steve in s4, but clearly didn't interact with him a lot between seasons, but she was also flirting with him and then went back to Jonathan, so it's probably not a situation she wants to be in! Besides the whole mess it would be for Robin considering if she actually wanted to date a friend's (best friend's) ex, the ex, Nancy would probably have to consider spending time with an ex like that. (because you're correct! for robin Steve is non negotiable)

(the prompt was absolutely supposed to be cute it blew my mind) But it's such an interesting dynamic, and absolutely something that I can see Nancy doing. It's been haunting me for weeks! Her feeling guilty over things she had no control over, but then not taking accounatbility for things she did and could change, that's so neat! With her relying on body language, and not adequately communicating to partners what she actually wants/needs/is thinking, Combined with Robin not being good at reading people and generally nervous about that inability to read more subtleties, it would be brutal. They would both dig their heels in, but robin wouldn't know why. FASCINATING.

Common sense doesn't exist in Stranger Things <3 Also I know next to nothing about guns but for some reason I know (am pretty sure of?) that sawed off shotguns have worse accuracy. I was like "nooo nancy you don't need to do that! It will also not help at all!" please let Nancy get a meelee weapon please let her beat the shit out of a demogorgon please let her actually inflict damage!

Uhg yes agree. I think it's one of the few ships I dislike more because of the shippers and how they interact with the characters, and that I see it as sort of a relationship that wouldn't last, and the shippers wouldn't like that and also want it canon. So much stuff I find ooc, and also for some reason a number of steve haters (super uncharitable ones that really, idk why they like robin, a character who loves steve so much she wants to combine with him, if they hate everything about Steve). Big turn offs. Not a lot of nuance happening! (which is NOT rnce exclusive!! I exit out of fics with ships I like because I find them ooc etc.) It could be a really interesting ship that would be messy and possibly implode but oof it'd be neat to explore. I've said before that I can see them liking each other and just not working out in an au where Steve and Nancy never had that history, because honestly another part of it is that I just don't see them as compatible (and included it in one of my not at all canon adjacent aus!).

I am with you on a lot of the content fumbles how Steve fits into it. The complexities his relationships both past and present to both Nancy and Robin would bring up between them could be explored more. Like yeah maybe steve's fine with his bff dating his ex whatever. but how would they feel about it? how would Nancy feel about steve being Robin's ride or die? how does Robin's friendship with steve effect that relationship? there's interesting bones here but alas. He's often shoved to the side as Robins friend and nancy's ex-turned friend. WHERES THE JUICE THERE? c'mon! i get some folks want non-conflict romance but maybe the ship that has potential to be so so SO messy that isn't going to be the most incharacter interactions.

#findaanswers #anti ronance #and I think we can make this tag:#fail ronance #like my beloved fail st4ncy and fail st0ncy (censoring so not to turn up in tags)#robin buckley #nancy wheeler #also sometimes for no reason robin is mean to steve and i'm like why? oh..it's going to be rnce isn't it. even tho he is her sweet cheese #ahk fuck it #fandom wank #listen I'm trying to be fair and not mean.#tbh I think they'd end up having like a tentative friendship that isn't super close but more than nothing #added a read more it seemed long

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danzohater · 3 months

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Hello....If you don't mind, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from Jujutsu Kaisen? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series? Sorry if you've answered this before.....

hi omg YES thank u for sending i haven't ever answered this! also i'm curious about your top 5 for both!!!! <3 (sorry this is so long 😭)

top 5 characters and why i love them...

1. geto, he is hands down my ultimate favourite. i think he has the most interesting back story, and i love the whole trope of a a character that has gone through something terrible with someone else but one of them became out 'bad', the other 'good'. he's my biggest comfort character!!!! i also like that his morals never changed, it's just his vision of who should be protected did (which i think is understandable, albeit completely wrong). i also love that he's amazing at karate as well, and i love his humour!

2. higuruma!!!!! like geto, i just completely adore his CT. i actually think objectively it's the coolest and most impressive one and i love when gege gets a bit more technical in explaining stuff (like with choso's blood manipulation too), also judgeman's design is AMAZING imo

3. rn shoko, i LOVEEE HER! once again i just think her character design is really cool, i love rct as a technique and i ❤️ characters as healers. i loved her in hidden inventory, i always think about her trying to teach geto and gojo rct in the most nonsense way. i'd say gege give her more screen time but i need her alive and happy with utahime by the end of the manga...

4. YUTA!!!!! once again i just love his character design, he is so cutesy. i love how sweet and adorable and awkward he can be, and ALL of his friendships are so cute. one of the coolest character designs in the manga, and the most recent chapter with his new domain?!!!! i'm still not quite sure if i prefer that or higuruma's domain more, i THINK i prefer deadly sentencing

5. TORN BETWEEN CHOSO AND MAKI, but ultimately i think choso... honestly once again i just love his design, i like the whole idea of what makes humanity and the way he brings in curses vs humans (it works better knowing jogo, dagon, etc all mourned other curses and said to meet again). overall he's charming and funny, nothing endears to me more than a character that just wants to protect someone. the best big brother. i love that he cries a lot, i want to give him a hug.

AND my top 5 moments... (warning for manga spoilers!!!!!!!!!!)

1. nanami's death. as much as i hated it and i love him, the voice acting was INCREDIBLE in that episode. the piano, the way he speaks so quietly, the cut scenes from it being so beautiful to the noises of him being in shibuya. i first watched it drunk and i replayed it honestly about 20 times, i even called my dad and made him watch it while i cried 😭 ... THE FACT THAT JUST BEFORE IT YUJI IS HAVING A BREAKDOWN... ugh all of it!!!!!! everyone's VA was immaculate... the emotion behind yuji's 'what the hell are you mahito' was incredible, and hearing mahito scream back for the first time made my stomach drop. incredible, amazing. i've seen that so many times but just hearing nanami's 'i'm tired, exhausted even' makes me start to tear up. god BLESS the voice actors for that scene

2. yuji vs mahito, specifically the imagery and how yuji is portrayed with the wolves. so beautifully animated, incredible. mahito throwing snow at yuji was sad but satisfying

3. mai's death and maki's awakening... okay so off the bat maki is amazing. seeing mai answer back her father and then sit over maki broke my heart. they're both just kids who love their sibling. they are just so tragic, maki's 'okay i get it, now come back' after mai says as long as i'm around you'll never develop. i love that scene because it shows that maki is already willing to go against all of the odds, even before complete heavenly restriction. i remember her telling yuji she would kill her clan (?) in jjk0 and even believing her then. the burn marks also add a lot to this scene i think. it was just really sadly cathartic to see the resolution to them as sisters, and heartbreaking. the first panel where she open's her eyes telling mai to wake up BREAKS ME. the panic on her face. also the line 'destroy everything big sister'. the fact she does. UGHHH!!!!

4. hmmm... choso's fake memory. the fight scene was really cool, but specifically, the part where yuji is eating with choso and his brothers. it's beautiful. the switch up in the way it's animated, looking like it's on an old vhs tape. so emotional. seeing yuji feeding choso and calling him big brother, just to cut to choso punching something and crying like he can't breathe. ugh i love them

5. the fight scene in hidden inventory... i just love it, i think it sets up all three of their personalities so well. i love how easily it portrays geto's personality: his morals, his ego, the sense of superiority he has. it perfectly displays his and gojo's friendship, their differences. we get to see them so in sync as yaga walks in and they both look away stretching, the way they both antagonise each other in sync before that

#jjk

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heavensbeehall · 5 months

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"Catching Fire", Chapter 1

Part 1: The Spark

Chapter 1: About six months after the end of the previous book, Katniss sits in the woods outside District 12 and mourns the loss of her old life. She meets Buttercup the Cat at her old house, and then heads to the Hawthornes to drop off game. The reader is introduced to Hazelle. Then Katniss heads to the Hob and talks to some people. She then heads to Haymitch's house in the Victor's Village to wake him. Peeta appears with bread. It's awkward. Then Katniss goes to her house and finds President Snow waiting for her.

Thoughts

-- Gale stuff. Gale won't take money from Katniss and I could understand that if it were just him. But his mother and siblings need money too. I don't hate Gale like much of the fandom does but that kind of shit rubs me the wrong way. I know he liked Katniss but he hadn't said anything to her (I'm not sure she was ready to talk about it) so she didn't do anything wrong. He can be hurt, sure (feel your feelings!), but he's only taking it out on his own family.

-- It took me a long time to realize the neighborhood "the Seam" is named after a coal seam. In my defense, I know nothing about coal.

--This book already feels a bit denser than the previous one. Collins still ends the chapter on a cliffhanger as she often does, but the style is changing slightly. Katniss is becoming a bit more introspective. (Our baby girl is growing up.)

-- Katniss and Peeta are so awkard here. That this has been going on for six months is ridiculous. They need someone to knock their heads together. (Johanna would probably volunteer for this role.)

Quotes:

Greasy Sae, the old woman who serves up soup, started a collection to sponsor Peeta and me during the Games. It was supposed to be just a Hob thing, but a lot of other people heard about it and chipped in. I don't know exactly how much it was, and the price of any gift in the arena was exorbitant.

[...]

"I know," says Greasy Sae. "But you got to go through it to get to the end of it. Better not be late."

A light snow starts to fall as I make my way to the Victor's Village

Any "Greasy Sae is Lucy Gray" believers want to chime in here?

A Peacekeeper named Darius comes up and buys a bowl while I'm eating. As law enforcers go, he's one of my favorites. Never really throwing his weight around, usually good for a joke. He's probably in his twenties, but he doesn't seem much older than I do. Something about his smile, his red hair that sticks out every which way, gives him a boyish quality.

Introduction to Darius. He makes Katniss smile in this scene. That makes me sad.

I'm staring into the snakelike eyes of President Snow.

This fucking guy.

#catching fire reread #thg reread #chapter 1 #catching fire #suzanne collins #president snow #katniss everdeen #darius #haymitch abernathy #greasy sae #peeta mellark #buttercup the cat

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lakemichigans · 1 year

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tlou episode 3 thoughts!!

- they absolutely nailed ellie and joel's dynamic. every bit of banter and conversation flows so well with the bits of dialogue that are taken directly from the game

- still feeling really strange about the decision to make ellie so much more... bloodthirsty? so early on? bloodthirsty isn't the right word, but for example: the scene where she loses all emotion and cuts into the infected person's head and then stabs him. idk. that didn't feel like young ellie to me. i wish her fascination would be shown more like a general curiosity about death/infection rather than detached, morbid joy at seeing people be brutalized and killed. even in the second game, that's not who ellie is.

- love the expanded lore about how the infection started and how shit hit the fan in just one day. the choice to switch the mode of infection to grain makes me laugh because now the world must be disproportionately populated by celiacs

- bill being a doomsday prepper before outbreak day is SOOO REAL omg. they definitely toned down his badass exterior but i don't mind because it was such a treat seeing how freaking awkward and tryhard he was around frank and then completely softening up with time, but still acting like the bill we know as soon as joel shows up. love that

- frank is exactly how i always imagined him to be! bringing the joy to such a dull and scary world, but whimsical to a fault sometimes. but why didn't they show him in a hawaiian shirt?? that's my one complaint

- "i like you older. older means we're still here." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

- i bawled my everloving fucking eyes out!!!!!!!

- but i'm mourning the loss of the ellie/bill banter :'(

- i will have to formulate my overall thoughts later because i'm seriously reeling omg i can't think! that was so beautiful and heartbreaking and i love how most of the episode felt like finding an old love letter in a locked chest in an attic somewhere. just wow

#the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers

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kiitoskiitos · 2 years

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what did you think of quackity’s final lore stream omg!! i know you’ve been busy so get back to this ask whenever you can!

<3 <3 <3 <3

cc!quackity did an incredible job, his passion and dedication is intoxicating. hearing him shyly yet so excitedly address chat after an emotionally heavy creative project like that is one of the best things in the world. simping, parasocially obsessing, maybe a little horny grip, you name it, i do it.

thoughts-vice it took me a while to process this lore stream actually. i get too lost on how annoying big-bad-dream plotpoints are even if this time it was fully justified (it does work since dreams need for revenge is based in quackity's horrible actions, it's one part of the massive house of cards now falling on Q).

As it often is for me, only the writings and reactions i read here on tumblr actually end up solidifying how i feel. This piece is incredible.

I do respect the concept of Slimecicle being just an embodiment of everything wrong with Quackity's hardened cruel current personality and actions finally catching up to him and ending him. But I've mostly seen slime as way more independent and emotionally mature, hiding an immerse character behind his "malleable" form. So I think he kills Quackity out of empathy in the end. He realises nothing less severe than death will be able to change Quackity. Even Slime's own death couldn't do it, actually only hardening the dis-illusion and trauma coping mechanisms, as seen in the way Q creates the slime army (i'll be real this was a bit too silly for me at first. mcrp, never change. bless up.) mixing the way his self worth is tied to his accomplishments (he needs for las nevadas to succeed) to his unresolved mourning for his dead friend (he isn't thinking clearly, he's literally recreating zombie version of slimecicle). this is not hot girl behavior. your employees are feeling very awkward rn. (also love the way people pointed out that foolish doesn't confront quackity in any point no matter how wild he goes, since they are not real friends, he's only there due to manipulation and business.)

(and i think there is obviously the compicated way the slime and Q relationship was.... not good. i still don't know how to view it. did quackity truly have someone he treated as an equal and trusted, or did he see slime as someone trust worthy only because he was, in his eyes, innocent and controllable. I think it is very fresh for slime to kill him, it's a clear switch of powerbalance between them -> at least in quackity's eyes, since i see that slime has always had way more self control and choice among the two of them aka power)

god, im so happy how this ended. i was fearing it would end in either only punishment and crucification or acceleration of greed and power. but these creators truly love their characters so much, its beautiful. Quackity going around and apologising, both for his own sake and others. HOT GIRL MOMENT!!!

also, i genuinely adored the scene between ranboo and mexican dream. they really went to limbo just to perform a boke and tsukkomi routine. though i don't even know which one is which because ranboo is the one being ridiculous tbh. Just truly... the visuals in that scene, the ways they both cope with being there, how neither's way is better, ranboo's "acceptance" which grants him no clarity or peace, Mexican dream's fragile denial which however makes him more versatile in this situation. It is probably one of my all time favorite scenes from dsmp. wanted it to last for way longer and it wont leave my head :D

#ask #posting this and going to ikea. hope it has something. hope it crunches

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yardsards · 2 years

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i had a dream about a strange and kinda angsty willumity au. kinda ooc, but that's to be expected from a literal dream. i found it very compelling nonetheless, so i wrote it down. (also put the events in order and omitted all the confusing Dream Nonsense and unrelated subplots, so that this would read like an interesting and coherent narrative, lol)

i think it took place around early to mid-s2, but like, none of the belos plot was happening

and it was ambiguous as to whether amity and luz had gotten together yet but i'm gonna say they weren't for the sake of narrative coherency. amity might've even still had her green hair?

luz had gone missing unexpectedly.

she was missing for months and there were no leads (they -especially eda and king- had searched pretty much everywhere and exhausted every possibility before giving up) and everybody had kinda started mourning

but amity was still super in the denial phase of grief and was still looking

and willow decided to help amity keep looking.

a bit because she saw that nobody's "it's time to move on" type of advice was helping amity, so maybe amity just needed someone with her while she worked through the denial phase. but a bit because she herself wasn't quite ready to give up the search either.

and willow commiserated with amity. told her that she kinda had a crush on luz too, though unlike amity, willow figured she'd never actually end up dating luz and had accepted that. she had just hoped luz and amity would get to be happy together

and amity was like "no, willow, honestly you deserve her more than i ever did"

and willow was like "nah, i'm not being hard on myself here. i just mean you two had pretty serious feelings about each other, and my crush on her was just a casual thing. i was perfectly happy to be platonic friends with her. i even kinda had a crush on someone else, too -though i knew those feelings won't go anywhere either" (and there were like, strong implications that willow was greyromantic?)

and amity was like "i don't know who that second person is but they'd be an idiot to turn down someone as beautiful and kind and strong and perfect as you"

and willow was like "hey, ams, you just called yourself an idiot"

and it took amity a minute to process before she realized. and there was an awkward silence before amity spoke up.

she said that when they were kids, she had a tiny crush on willow. it was never serious, of course, because things like that when you're that young never really are, but it was there. but she had to stomp out those feelings when she was forced to stop being willow's friend. and that lately she'd just been focused on her crush on luz (her first serious crush) and trying to just get her and willow's *friendship* back together. but, she said, in another world where things were just a little bit different, she knew she'd be in love with willow.

and they stayed there in near silence the rest of the night, searching for clues about where luz went, talking only when necessary

but at the end of the night willow pulled amity aside and said something like. "listen, i know it would probably be unhealthy long-term, but it might make us both feel better for now if we dated each other to try to fill that void. and then we can just break up if -no, *when*- we find luz, or if we're ready to move on or decide it's not helping us anymore,."

and amity actually agreed.

and then there was a series of scenes of their relationship and their search for luz and. their relationship was unexpectedly sweet for something whose original basis was "let's use each other to numb the pain while we search fruitlessly for our possibly dead mutual friend/crush"

it was a lot of comforting each other. holding each other while they cried. amity getting willow to open up when she tried to hide her pain and providing support. willow taking care of amity/convincing amity to take care of herself when she got too wrapped up in the search to tend to her basic needs

but they also made each other happy. there was handholding and soft smiles and sometimes even laughter.

at one point, willow gave amity the nickname "gooey" because she was frequently covered in abomination goo (taking after her father there, lol) because she didn't have it in her to take care of herself and keep clean (willow often ended up cleaning off amity's face and hands and brushing her hair)

and amity started using that nickname back at willow because "you're warm and soft and sweet like the gooey center of a fresh baked cookie"

and they built this little secret hideout to do their research in. the vibes were a weird mix of amity's secret library room, the fort amity and willow built on the beach as kids, phillip's cave, the night market, and that place where luz first met the catts. there might've been a little A+W flag on the outside like on their childhood fort

but as sweet as it all was, luz's absence was a constant tangible presence in their relationship. i mean, it was the original reason they got together. almost all their time was spent looking for luz, crying over luz, worrying about luz. they'd ask themselves "what would luz do?" or look over for a third opinion in their conversation to see that no one was there. a third chair sat empty at all times in their hideout. they spoke about how luz getting amity on the right track was what allowed any of their relationship to happen.

things seemed more and more hopeless the longer they looked, the more dead ends they ran into, and the less evidence they could find. but neither of them wanted to admit it. neither of them were ready to let go of luz. and they both knew the other wasn't ready either, and didn't wanna be the one to dash their partner's hopes by giving up.

and neither of them wanted to be the one to admit it, but they were both scared that looking for luz was the only thing keeping their relationship together, that the other would leave once they lost that shared goal. or that their relationship was still just a way to cope, and once they fully got over luz, they'd have to break up.

but of course that wasn't true. they'd both genuinely grown to love one another, to want to keep the relationship alive no matter what.

one night they were sitting in their hideout. looking closely through things they found in the woods where luz was last seen, through her belongings, through her journals. they were leaning close against each other, faces lit by a magic fire in the center of the room. this was not at all uncommon

but this time, willow spoke up. "i like what we've got going on here. it's nice, being here with you."

amity didn't quite get it. "yeah, i like our hideout too. i love how you made sure it wasn't too bright or too loud. it'll be nice for when we find luz, with how easily she gets overloaded by lights and sounds sometimes. well, how easily i get overloaded too. and i love how you always keep it warm just for me; you remembered how easily i get cold." she curled in closer to her girlfriend's warm arms and stretched her legs out towards the fire

"i like this place too, but that's not really what i meant," said willow. "i mean i'm glad i'm here with *you*. i love-" she wasn't ready to say i love you yet "-i love our relationship."

"oh." amity blushed. "i... i love us too. i didn't know if you felt the same way. i love having you here with me, having a girlfriend that remembers how easily i get overwhelmed and cold and makes sure to keep me comfortable and warm."

willow held amity close. "i know we agreed that we'd break up once we found luz. and then i figure the two of you would continue whatever it was that you had going on. but i don't want to break up if we find her anymore."

"willow, i don't want that either. i still have feelings for luz, but you're not a replacement for her. what we have here is real and i'm not going to throw it away. i won't date her unless it's all three of us. if that's okay with you."

"i'd like that."

amity continued looking at the evidence, jotting down notes, while willow stood up to tend to the fire. suddenly, amity put the last pieces together and jumped up.

the items they found scattered in the woods matched perfectly with luz's notes about what materials she'd need to build a portal. combined with the lack of remains and no sign of struggle, amity was certain; luz wasn't killed or kidnapped, she accidentally fell through a half-finshed portal. there was a chance she was still alive, somewhere. luz might be alive. amity and willow might actually get their friend and possibly-future-girlfriend back

#eliot posts #toh #the owl house #amity blight #willow park #willumity #amillow #missing light au #don't know if i'll do anything with this au but i'm naming it anywayyy #meanwhile my dream the previous night was just about me impulsively eating raw pork then instantly regretting it

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moriartyluver · 10 months

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Sherlock definitely doesn’t know anything about love, bro is clueless

STOP WILLIAM PROBABLY FELT EVEN MORE GUILTY BECAUSE FL NEVER GOT ANY REASSURANCE OF HIM LOVING HER AND CARING ABOUT THEIR CHILD

Imagine Louis taking liam to his grave because bro was curious or smth and he somehow found the letters😭

Love louis, but bro has to leave liam to his whoreship of fl

It’s okay fl and liam eventually got better when he came back

Louis played the therapist

They so should have fucked in his office in that scene💔 it’s okay tho they probably fucked in every room of that manor after they did it the first time

FL’S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH BRO GIVE THE POOR GIRL A BREAK😭

Also liam may be a stupid virgin but he’s still good asf, bro literally said it himself🛐

FL AND WILLIAM WOULD NEVER PLAY CBAT WHILE FUCKING

okay maybe William’s dumbass would but fl would beat him for it🛐

You just re-traumatized me with that

The images in my head rn are terrifying

Oh god

You just convinced me to go church

🎀.

John getting engaged and Sherlocks silly reaction is proof enough that sherly knows NOTHING about love. He may have only seen it once and acknowledged it when fl came to him to tell him to help liam and he just says “you really love him, don’t you?” And she just nods with a melancholic smile

The moment liam finds out about the accidental fetus deletus, poor guy is just sobbing and shi because he feels like it was his fault and poor fl was suffering mourning not one but TWO people

If Liam found the letters he wouldn’t know how to feel. He’d feel guilty but also bro was probably kicking his feet and blushing because he hadn’t ever been written a love letter from fl

Each time fl goes, she leaves a bouquet of lillies and Liam saw the fresh bouquet when he visits his grave

Keyword: eventually

It was probably so awkward for them at first. Fl was probably a little salty and Liam is just trying not to annoy her

Imagine them at that family dinner omg 😭 like with john and mycroft and miss Hudson and they’re all like ‘whys she so mad at him I thought they were married’

Louis definitely had to deal with their silly couple shenanigans for a bit afterwards.

Also poor Louis had to deal with his older brother being so down bad for god knows how long. William probably has a whole shrine for his whoreship of fl

On that note, bro is probably such a good therapist. They should have given him more screen time away from liam before his brother ‘died’ because his development seemed a bit sudden but makes sense when you read back on it

Nah they down bad fr 😭 can’t keep their hands off of each other omg

EVERY ROOM 😟😟 I think maybe the office and both their rooms are enough. Bathroom too if they’re that down bad there are other people in the house

Maybe if u combine both the rooms in Durham and London, that could probably make sense

Nah they actually can’t stop being down horrendously. There are going to be complaints from the other residents I swear

He may be good without realising but that stupid virgin still needs to initiate something ‼️ those idiots need to consummate the marriage

Also I actually think it makes most sense for William (along with the other Moriarty bros tbh and other characters like the Holmes brothers) to have little to no experience even in canon. You can’t tell me liam had time for anything involving his clothes off in the manga and in false lovers, bro couldn’t do that unless with fl. stupid hoe 🙄

Nah fl is so silly she probably made it a competition mid way just so she wouldn’t have the admit that she thinks liam is hot.

I had to be a little silly with the cbat thing cmon 😭 liam wouldn’t even mind being beat for that what a masochist

Yknow who else needs to go to church?

William

He should get on his knees for something that isn’t fl (that has so many meanings to it—)

#—a’s anons 💄#—false lovers 💋

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datastate · 2 years

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who is the yttd player character and do they do anything

the player character is sara chidouin!! she's a high schooler who ends up taking on more of a leadership role within the death game... most of the adults to make some attempts to support her, but she tends to take on too much of a mantle than she should. she tends to aim high, with even her natural curiosity instead focused toward academics (presumably from her paternal influence; though social isolation could also be part of this... she's stated herself that she doesn't have many friends & tends to be a bit... awkward, socially.)

but! the friends she does have are near and dear to her heart :]

ryoko hirose: a friend she's known since she was around twelve! the two seem to be very close to one another, and ryoko is a person which both sara and jou worry about and wish to return home to. not much is known about ryoko unfortunately :[ we've only gotten one flashback with her date with jou, and the information that asunaro (the organization behind the death game) has gathered on ryoko isn't accessible to the player! regardless, i have plenty of hcs for her... though that is for another time.

jou tazuna: (aka joe!) is a friend that sara met in sonobeno high! the two tend to razz each other... despite this, the two do care deeply about one another. jou unabashedly considers sara to be his best friend, and has elected to walk her home upon discovering sara suspects she has a stalker - though he typically tries to brush it off with other reasoning so she doesn't feel indebted or guilty over it.

speaking of this 'stalker' ... ! that would be kai satou... though he never intended to harm her in any way; his work was to act as a guard for the chidouins, under the guise of their homemaker, but her parents apparently elected to never tell her about kai's existence (and sara is one to often... push down her pain. it's very possible no one other than her friends knew). her trauma lasts from this and the game never downplays it - it's a very interesting story thread to follow, and you can certainly feel sara's torn feelings toward kai once the truth is fully revealed. it wouldn't reverse the damage done, of course not, but... at least she now knows why. especially with kai's constant reaffirmation that there must be some way to fight against asunaro, some way to escape its grasp... she wants to believe that. he gives the participants as a whole one last hope with a program he created that disables asunaro's defense long enough for an escape.

i don't quite know how to really phrase all of this, but... yeah :] sara's a very good character and one of my favorite protagonists in a game by far. even with her appearing as a steadfast leader to most of the group, we're given access to her personal doubts and how she strains to hold herself to this standard (usually for other people - there's specifically a scene that gets to me where sara sees someone who was recently in mourning take a step back from a mimicry of the person they lost, and tells herself she wants to be as strong as this person is (after her own loss...)) and there's so much charm in even her little casual commentary ("is this usable as a blunt object...?" & the interactions with younger kids like kanna+gin & her interests in kendo + anxiety surrounding art...) and chapter two especially does such a wonderful job of showing how she begins to move past this for the survivors while still... honoring the memory, usually, of the people who have been lost thus far. it's very heartwarming seeing her overcome this with the support of the other characters :]

#whew... didn't get to all i wanted to but. yeah! i love sara very much #ask #solidarity squad #corpan #yttdposting #long post

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not-close-to-straight · 2 years

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Okay I’m obsessed with your Steddie fics and your harringrove fic (yours was actually the first harringrove fic I ever read) and now I’m really curious on if you have any thoughts on Steve/Eddie/Billy 👀 You always come up with such good stories for Steve/Tony/Bucky so I am really curious

THANK YOU!

I'm obsessed with them too. It's actually a little bit embarrassing lolol

I do have lots of initial thoughts on Steve/Eddie/Billy butttttt I think I need to understand the characters a little better before I pass any official judgment.

Like writing Stuckony actually helped me understand Stony better because I already loved Winteriron and figuring out how Steve would fit into that dynamic made it easier to write and fall in love with Stony.

But I've just barely started with Steddie and ever MORE recently attempted BillySteve so I'm hesitant to... say anything.

HOWEVER since you asked so nicely and since I will never hesitate to fucking RAMBLE about my favorite characters, I will say this:

I think any fic I wrote that was Steve/Eddie/Billy would be a BIG ONE. Because I definitely feel like the season 2 and 3 Steve who loved Billy is NOT the same person as season four Steve who loved Eddie. Like the difference in Steve between season three and four is CRAZY, he's at a different part in his life the trauma is REAL he's sort of resigned himself to life in Hawkins fighting terrible things and not going to college and sort of... being alone? Versus Season 2 Steve who is still a romantic and season 3 Steve who is disillusioned with life but not... hopeless.

So for ME to be comfortable writing it, I'd need a big fic, I'd need lots of words, I'd need Steve and Billy and Steve mourning when he loses Billy and barely making it htrough the next year till Eddie arrives and brings a little bit of that sunshine back into Steve's life and I'd need terrible coping and late nights and nightmares and kisses that are first desperate and then needy and then finally feelings when Eddie falls for Steve but post season four Steve is maybe a little afraid to love at all and then OH NO BILLY COMES BACK and we're healing and awkward conversations about where they'd been and where to go from here...

It would be alot.

The best thing about Stuckony is that I can go "local himbo couple falls for adorable pocket sized brunette" and that's all the background we need for a non powers stuckony fic.

But 'california beach boy meet cute with tired mother hen and pothead metalhead' is a little more complicated to throw all together lol.

I feel like if I didn't do a hugely canon era story, it would be like. College. Cos college brings the most random people together for the weirdest reasons. They could share a dorm, share an apartment, have the same classes the first year before specializing... bringing them modern makes it alot easier for me to picture than keeping it canon verse.

But like CHEERS for reading my fics, honestly the ST fandom has been so great and so interactive with me it's amazing. I love it. Keep it up. I'm currently on Covid leave for work so I'm doing exactly nothing with my life except writing and answering messages and being continuously flustered by Billy scenes and then smiling like a goddamn doofus at all the Steddie content in season four and i have TIME to talk!

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latveriansnailmail · 5 months

Text

MASSIVE ZOMBIE DREAM

I was craving something sweet before bed and all I had was an energy drink but I still went to sleep right away. I point to the energy drink because I had a long and detailed dream about a zombie apocalypse. Which is to say about the survivors. This isn't something that normally appeals to me but there's so much detail and strong themes I had to write it up.

The survivor community was I think a rural trailer park before the outbreak. I know they were able to corral and interconnect the trailers and shipping containers to create cooperative living. Following the outbreak there were only four adult women (all white, two brunettes, one with auburn hair, and Celine Dione, the hair will be relevant) and fewer men (including Colm Meaney from Star Trek) with some children. No one was particularly remarkable, just still there, and the auburn haired lady who had lost her husband emerged as the group leader out of necessity. She led the rearranging of the trailers, the pooling and distribution of food, and the organization of scavenging parties. There was a scene where the leader was trying to shower and Celine Dione came to her and was a bit of a diva, and then when Celine left Colm Meaney came to the threshold to report about goings on. Still showering, Auburn gave her orders and told in kind about how the brunette ladies were gossiping, to which Colm Meaney narrowed his eyes and said, "Brunettes are nothing but mutton." Auburn realized in this moment that A) stressed and in mourning though she may be, she was now the leader these people required; B) the colony was becoming a matriarchy and she was the mother; C) Colm Meaney was both her loyal dogsbody and also attracted to her; and D) she had needs and her husband was not coming back.

The next scene of significance was a young couple, a boy of 16 with a borrowed car and a girl of 15, returning the girl to the trailer park after a sweet but awkward first date. They close for their first kiss and are attacked by the first wave of zombies. (Aside: dream logic, I don't know where they would have been on a first date that would cause them to miss the entire outbreak but that's the dream.) They both make it inside unscathed and now the boy has to join the community despite the friction with the girl's father. This couple survives throughout and serve as a narrative lens showing the apocalypse through the final set of eyes that had the previous world's sensibilities.

Next scene of note: a group hunt at night for meat (only humans become zombie.) The couple from the previous scene view a moose pegasus and remark on its natural beauty, only for it to be shot dead by a blonde boy just barely old enough to join the hunt. He serves as the lens of the generation growing up in the apocalypse, having no appreciation for beauty and caring only for survival.

The colony grows due to Auburn's dogged insistence that any who come to them are provided for. There is constant pushback and not everyone who joins can be trusted but the colony still grows and thrives under this policy. The end of the dream was a difficult standoff and final battle against raiders. The raiders dwindled and their leaders were slain, and Auburn still tells the remaining raiders who would otherwise die of cold and hunger that they are welcome to join the colony if they show submission by kneeling, holding out their bowls, and saying the word Mother. They do so and the dream finished.

#dreams #zombies #survival horror #zombie apocalypse

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linssikeittomies · 6 months

Text

Teaser for Pivot Points

Masterpost / AO3

I think I'm fucking finally at the point where chapter 3 only needs a few more scenes and some editing! (and knowing me, saying this will lead into several more scenes and a lot more editing...) I can't say that I'm proud of this chapter but I seriously want to get it done before new year... So here's a little teaser so I'll feel obligated to post sooner rather than 5 years later.

[Ed and Stede] do a bit of shopping, then head back to the ship to get ready - hours earlier than needed. Stede explains that he’s just nervous and wants to make a good impression. Ed says that Izzy would really be more impressed by a messy and dirty cabin, but he doesn’t mention it would be a bad sort of impressed. It doesn’t work anyway, Stede is set on making things as clean and pretty as humanly possible.

Once the knock comes, Stede gives one final smoothing to his immaculate clothes and hair. He opens the door to a pouting Izzy, who at least has the decency to have put on clean clothes - that particular linen shirt isn't Ed's, even though by all logic that one should still be clean. So she might have gone back to being just Izzy, then. This one is probably Lucius', Ed thinks he's seen the scribe wearing it before. They should do laundry soon, Ed is also starting to run out of clean clothes.

“Right, let’s get this over with”, Izzy grumbles.

Stede doesn’t let the grumpiness get him down, thankfully. “Lovely of you to join us! I thought we might start with some aperitifs, would you care for some vermouth?”

“Iz doesn’t really drink”, Ed informs him before Izzy can make a more scathing remark. He can’t remember the last time Izzy was properly drunk, at most he’ll allow himself to get tipsy, but it must’ve been before the Pants Incident, maybe even before Gideon died. So it’s been a long time, but Ed still remembers how he acts when he’s had a bit too much - gets soft and sleepy, more easy with his affections. Girly, as Izzy calls it, with contempt.

So Ed doesn’t remember the last time Izzy got properly drunk, but he does remember the last time Izzy asked for her hand to be held, and he remembers even better how in the morning she went from Missy Izzy back to First Mate Hands, and vehemently denied ever having liked getting his hair stroked and saying the words I love you.

Ed wonders if he still feels the same. Sturdy, but pliant under the right touches. If he would still make the same noises.

“Oh? Not even wine? That’s a shame. I have a bottle of Tokay from an excellent year”, Stede mourns.

“Even I’m gonna need some liquid courage to get through this”, Izzy mutters as Stede guides him to the table, and for a second Ed wants Stede to put his hand on the small of Izzy’s back.

Izzy might not be the only one who needs a drink.

He sits down heavily at the seat he used when Ed came to convince him to eat, and talk some things through.

Ed doesn’t know if it’s significant. It’s the seat next to Stede, closest to the door, furthest from Ed. Stede pours them all a tiny glass of the vermouth, dry and spicy. Izzy looks at it with disdain, and downs it one go. Then makes a face.

“Stronger than you thought, right?” Ed laughs, and sips his daintily, brushing aside the memory of their first drunken kiss. “Want me to top your glass?”

“Please - as the host, let me”, Stede intervenes.

Izzy downs this glass just as fast the first one.

“You’re supposed to savor it”, Stede pouts.

“I’ll savor it once I’m drunk enough to tolerate this farce”, Izzy shoots back and motions for another glass. Stede lets out a long-suffering sigh and does as requested.

Izzy lets the third pour in peace, Ed notices, and is sure Stede doesn’t miss it either. Izzy's awkwardness about being nice would be cute if it wasn't so goddamn annoying.

“So. Here I am”, Izzy grumbles, purposely antagonistic. Ed gives him a warning look, which Izzy ignores with glee. “What’s for dinner.”

This is Stede in his element.

“For appetizers we have boiled corn and onion bread rolls - I was hoping for garlic, but alas, the store has run dry. Our main course is Cheshire pork pie, with a side of pickled cucumbers, for wine we have a red Bordeaux, but you may of course opt for water if you’d prefer. And finally, for dessert, Roach has prepared apple tarts - they might be on the simple side, but I assure you they’re quite delicious.”

Ed has been watching Izzy’s face with amusement - at first it’s just annoyed, then as the list goes on it grows first into disbelief, then amazement, and finally outrage.

“Fucking hell, you eat like this every day?”

“No, no! Well, not anymore. This is a special occasion.”

Ed is surprised that Izzy doesn’t push the issue, since he hates excess and luxury. Instead, he takes a sip of his aperitif, savors it discreetly to buy himself some time, but it’s not enough and he can’t think of what to say.

Ed saves his hide and pride. “How’s work gone so far?”

“We should redo the rigging completely”, Izzy responds flatly, in his element again - complaining. “It’s not an efficient arrangement. We should make port and overhaul the whole thing.Find a sailmaker.”

“Is it in that bad of a condition?” Stede asks, worried.

“Nah, but a sailmaker’s always good to have onboard”, Ed says.

Izzy suggests a port, and Stede promises to consider it. Then he tries some light conversation, but it doesn’t work out the way he hoped - Izzy is either thorny or tight-lipped. So they switch back to more professional matters, and even if Stede is a little disappointed, he’s also happy that Izzy is taking part without being properly drunk. Just tipsy enough that he doesn’t feel the need to be an asshole, and Stede is always happy to learn something new. They end up talking mostly about ship maintenance, for a good few hours. It lets Ed drown himself in a few more pleasant memories as he lingers on the outskirts of the conversation, offering only a few words here and there, between longing looks at Stede's hands and Izzy's face. It's gotten a lot older since they first met. It's comforting. Knowing it's still here, after all they've been through together. Hornigold, the Kraken, Stede. It won't run away from him.

The drinks undoubtedly help Iz to forget keep track of time, or he would’ve left right after finishing his food. He also forgets to act like he’s been forced here as a prisoner. It’s rare to see him wound down like this, which might be the reason he drinks so rarely in the first place - doesn’t like having his guard down and his image ruined. He’s not a happy drunk, per se, unless he starts in a good mood. But he does always get a little absentminded no matter his starting point.

“We should do this again soon”, Stede suggests happily as he nurses his second cup of tea - the one he hadn’t had the heart to sell. Aforementioned absentmindedness must be the reason Iz replies with a simple sure instead of a complaint, and the cup of quality coffee from the same haul as the tea can only help matters. Ed sees the surprise on Stede’s face and lifts a finger to his lips - better shush him before he says something to make Iz notice his lapsus.

“But we need supplies”, Iz continues thoughtfully. “We should be running low on flour and potatoes.”

“Roach told you?”

"Lucius. He - spends a lot of time in the stores."

“I wonder how Roach keeps track of everything, since he can’t read", Stede muses out loud, completely missing the fact that his scribe's favorite noodling spot is right next to everyone's food.

“He can count and he has experience”, Iz explains, not very thoroughly.

“He should count more sugar, we’re constantly running out”, Ed butts in, trusting Iz to latch onto that.

“You know it’s because you put seven damn lumps in each cup! It’s undrinkable at that point you damn sugar mite!”

“It’s not the right amount of sweet otherwise!”

“Just eat it straight! That’s what you’re basically doing anyway!”

“So I like sweet things. That a crime now?”

“Unmanly is what it is”, Iz whines, in a not very manly fashion.

“Being unmanly is fun every now and then. As you know.”

“I guess”, Iz amends, and grins faintly. Then suddenly he remembers Stede isn’t supposed to know about that, and he jumps up, pointing an accusing finger at Ed. “The fuck I’d know! Whatever he’s been saying about me, it’s not true!” he tries to convince Stede, who has no idea what either of them is talking about.

“I promise Ed has only said good things about you”, Stede tries to calm him, and it’s a lie. Ed has complained about Iz plenty.

“Well of course it was good for him!”

“You seemed to like it plenty”, Ed teases before he gets hold of his drunken brain. He didn’t mean to ruin the night, he didn’t want to make Iz feel bad, he doesn’t want Iz running off and cutting their night short when they were getting along so well. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”

“Yeah, it was!” Iz yells angrily, but there’s an edge of panic in there.

“I haven’t told him. Haven’t told anyone”, Ed promises. He really hasn’t. Not just for safety, but also because Iz has always been so dead set on hiding Missy Izzy from others.

“You really haven’t?”

“I haven’t.”

Iz deflates with relief and sits back down. Everyone is silent for a while, mood definitely ruined, and Ed is mentally kicking himself in the head.

“Well”, Stede finally says awkwardly. “I suppose it’s nearing bedtime. I could read us all a story - or, less read and more telling from memory. Seeing as how all my books of fairytales were thrown out.”

Iz barks a laugh at that, and the coffee nearly sloshes out from his cup. Ed makes an apologetic face, even though Stede has already forgiven him for throwing out all his stuff.

“You ninnies have fun crying over children’s stories, I’m going to bed.”

And Iz gets on his wobbly feet. Ed wants to offer his help, but with their new strained relationship Iz isn’t likely to accept - and Ed’s in a volatile enough state of mind to not know how he would react if Iz rejected him.

“We’ll get you to attend one of these days”, he boasts instead. Izzy rolls his eyes and gets going.

"This was a lovely evening, we should do it again soon!" Stede calls after him, and Iz gives him the bird. But doesn't say no.

#pivot points #tease #fan fiction #our flag means fanfic

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