#it’s been like 5 months since I’ve written anything for myself

[lavndvrr]

Flashback to the time I started writing my first fanfic and during that time period I fainted several times, my dog died, my computer got hacked, and my friends left me but as soon as I stopped writing bad stuff stopped happening to me, is this a sign?

#fanfiction #why?!? #im still going to start a new fic #it’s been like 5 months since I’ve written anything for myself #and if everything starts going wrong in my life then it will prove that I’m cursed #im so exited to write my #valgrace fanfic #tho #like im still plotting but after that I think I’ll try to update it once a week #we will see #it may or may not happen #I’ll try #I can’t go back to my old fic tho because it was a Wilbur centric modern au

[hell-diver27]

A Lovely Encounter

A few months ago, the most mind-boggling thing happened to me, and frankly, I still can’t believe it happened. I was a sophomore in college at the time, and I was still trying to figure myself out, get good grades, and find a group of people I could call friends. Of course, I talked to people, but typically it only lasted for the semester, which sucked. I spent most of my time alone, which honestly made a part of me pretty sad. That was, however, until I met her. I remember it was a cloudy and cold day, and I had just finished my classes for the day. I was making my way back to my car to go home, and while I was on my way to the parking lot, I noticed this girl who looked like she was struggling to carry all of her stuff. She looked to be about 5 '10, with dirty blonde hair, and she was wearing sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt that was representing our school. I began to walk over, when I called to her

“Excuse me, do you need any help? That stuff you’re carrying looks kind of heavy.”

She turned around, and I was met with a set of gray-blue eyes, a button-like nose, and freckles covering the bridge of her nose and cheeks.

“Oh, um…well it’s not that bad. I think I can manage myself. I couldn’t bring myself to ask you for help” she said.

“Don’t worry about it! I’d be more than happy to help. If you want I can take your bag and walk you to wherever you’re going.”

“Are you sure? It’s kind of heavy with all my shit I’ve been meaning to clean out”

“Yeah, no problem. Where are we headed?”

She began to take off her backpack, when I could’ve sworn I noticed I noticed…a bulge around her midsection. It was only for a brief moment, but I could’ve sworn I noticed a bulging pregnant belly.

“Damn, is this girl pregnant? And how heavy is this backpack, she was carrying all this by herself? My thoughts were racing inside my head, but all I could focus on was helping her out.

“Oh, I was going to walk back to my apartment, but I’m really glad I don’t have to carry my backpack on the way now. It was seriously…weighing on me. I really appreciate you doing this for me. The name is Evelyn by the way.

“Nice to meet you Evelyn, my name is Cassian. And seriously no problem, It’s not even that heavy. But in all honesty, what do you have in here, bricks? I can see why you were struggling now.

“HA! No, one of my professors seriously loaded my class up with their worthless self-written textbooks. I know we’re gonna use this shit like once and never go back to it. I'm a psych major, so there’s always one professor that always loves to make us spend money we don’t have on their own work. What major are you sinking your life away in?”

“I’m looking to get my degree in Veterinary Medicine, I’ve always loved helping animals since I was younger. Everyday I’m just this much closer to achieving my dream.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet. I feel like you can always tell a lot about someone by what major they choose. Seems like we both wanna help the earth-whether it’s by helping kids or animals.”

“Yeah, I’m only a sophomore, so I still have a few more years ahead of me. What year are you?”

“I’m a junior, I just transferred over here from Tri State Community College, I was lucky to get the first two years free. I got all of my GE’s out of the way, so now I can focus on my major classes and I’ll be out of here soon enough.”

As we were walking, I felt like I kept noticing Evelyn fighting the urge to rub her bulging midsection, and she even appeared to be a little antsy.

“Hey, is everything alright? You seem a little anxious, is there anything you wanna talk about?”

Evelyn took a deep breath, but kept looking forward as we were walking, “I just got out of a 4 year relationship, it was a little messy and I’m still trying to deal with it. It’s just a lot on my mind, especially with finals coming up. It doesn’t help that I haven’t made any friends yet, but I’ve been able to manage this far on my own. And there’s some…other stuff that I have to figure out as well. One step at a time, it’s a work in progress. Thank you for being so kind though, I do really appreciate you for helping me out. Heh, maybe I should get one of those rolling backpacks to help lighten the load.”

“Well, I spend most of my days alone too. I could give you my number if you ever need help, or even to talk to someone in the future.”

“Ooo, asking for my number, how forward of you.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! Well, you are a pretty girl, but I’m really just someone who likes to help people!”

“OOO! And now I’m pretty!”

“I’m sorry…um”

“Relax, I'm just messing with you! Thank you for the compliment though, it’s been awhile since I’ve heard one of those. That was very sweet of you.” As she swiped her hair behind her ear and released a pleasant sigh.

We got to her apartment building and I was about to hand her bag back to her, when she asked if I could bring it up to her apartment. I was a little surprised, especially because I quite literally had just met her, but I didn’t question it.

“Thank you so much, I’m only on the second floor, but the elevator has been down and the owner hasn’t gotten around to the repairs yet. Are you alright with taking my brick filled bag with me?” She teased.

“Oh of course, I’d be more than happy to.”

I opened the door to the staircase for her, and she began to slowly ascend the flight of stairs to the second floor. I felt a little guilty, but I couldn’t help but stare up as I went up the stairs, which happened to be right at her ass. It looked round and firm, but it didn’t look overtly big either. I felt myself getting a little flustered, imagining what the rest of her body looked like…especially under that sweatshirt..but I quickly purged any of those thoughts and just focused on not tripping going up the stairs. After a short while we made it to the second floor, and she began to swim inside her pockets to get her keys out. She opened the door and gestured me inside, 

“You can put the back wherever, but I’ve been pondering something…earlier you did say you’d be happy to help me whenever, and WHATEVER, so I do have a little favor to ask you”. She went behind the couch and began to kick out a massive box, and on the side was an image of a crib.

“Holy fuck” I thought to myself.

“So…the “other stuff” I mentioned earlier is…I’m pregnant. My ex-knocked me up, and immediately went for the hills when we found out, so for the past 8 months I’ve been all on my own. I’ve been buying the stuff I need for raising a kid obviously, but I also didn’t notice how fast my due date was creeping up on me. Do you think you could help me build this? I know this is a lot…but you DID say you would help me with whatever.”

“Of course! I would be more than happy to help!”

“Eager are we?”

Shit. Was I too excited?

“You look cute when you’re embarrassed. Thank you so much for helping me, I don’t think I could’ve figured this out on my own, they always make the instructions so vague.”

“Oh..heh. I know. It’s always a real pain in the ass, especially I’m just glad this isn’t an IKEA item, we would be here for days.”

“Ha, I know. I just bought one with good reviews from Target. Would you mind getting started while I get changed into something more comfortable?”

“Sure, whatever floats your boat.”

Evelyn walked away into the back of her apartment, and I began to open up the box and take out the various contents, but of course I was a little giddy. I was in the house of a pretty woman, and she’s also pregnant! She also seems to enjoy my company. I couldn’t believe my luck was finally turning around.

“Hey, do you have any screwdrivers for this?”

Evelyn shouted from her room,

”Yeah! They’re on the coffee table!”

I got up and began walking to the coffee table, when I heard her door open and a pleasant sigh as she made her way back to the living room. She had her dirty blonde hair in a messy bun, with a few locks of her hair falling out and cascading over her face. As she made her way to me I noticed she was wearing pajama pants that hugged her curves in all the right places, showing just how toned, yet thick her ass and thighs were. And to top it off, she was wearing a slightly baggy T-shirt, but her bump was far more noticeable this time around. I felt myself getting flustered by this whole ordeal, but I had to keep my composure. 

“Oh, you already seem like you know what you’re doing. Maybe I’ll just supervise! Could I get you anything to drink while you work away?”

“A water will be just fine, thank you. But after please sit, you should rest after carrying around all that shit all day.”

She walked into the kitchen and got herself and I a glass to get our water, 

“It isn’t too bad, it’s really just towards the end of the day where I begin to feel it all. I’m already lugging this belly around all day, so carrying a bunch of textbooks doesn’t help either. I’m just glad my apartment is right next to campus, I couldn’t imagine living any farther with this baby on the way.”

“Well, I’m very glad I was able to help you out.” 

“Me too”, smiling as she sat down and handed me my glass of water.

As I was building the crib, my mind was racing with thoughts. What the hell is even happening today? I met a girl, she’s pretty, sweet, smart, and super pregnant. Where is this gonna go?

I glanced up and saw Evelyn absentmindedly rubbing her belly, and I couldn’t help but ask a few questions to pass the time.

“So…if you don’t mind me asking…what does it feel like to be pregnant? How have the few past months felt? Have you liked it so far? Or maybe disliked it?”

“Hmmm…well…I like you, you seem like a pretty nice dude, so I’ll blab just a little. Honestly…when I found out I was pregnant, I was a little scared. My ex and I found out in March, and not soon after he left me all alone, after years of saying if I ever got pregnant he’d take care of me, all that bullshit. So now I was not only pregnant, but now I’d be a single mother. The first few months were kind of difficult, my morning sickness was awful, and I could barely even eat. And on top of that, I felt constantly tired, and I was still cramping. I was lucky though, because I haven’t really become sensitive to foods and smells throughout my whole pregnancy. I love spicy food, so I’m glad my body didn’t turn against me. Plus, spicy food helps start-up labor towards the end, so it’s a win-win. Once I got to my second trimester though, I really started to feel myself, and I began to love feeling pregnant. My baby started kicking up a storm when I was around 20 weeks, and I’ve loved feeling her inside of me. It’s really been a surreal experience. I just wish I could’ve had someone to enjoy it with. And I’m sorry if this is a TMI, but honestly…I’ve also really loved the changes my body has gone through. I’ve loved watching my belly swell over the past 8 months, and the rest of my body has gotten pretty curvy as well. I was quite petite before I got knocked up, so I’ve really enjoyed the additional changes.”

Evelyn looked at me while I was building the crib, and she quickly noticed I seemed quite flustered and distracted.

“You okay there, Cassian? You look like you saw a ghost.”

“I’m okay, just got a little lightheaded.” I was EXTREMELY lucky I had the manual over my lap because I had a raging hard-on throughout her speech. She was absentmindedly rubbing her belly throughout it, and I literally felt like I was in a trance. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Here, why don’t you take a break for now? It looks like you’re close to being done anyways, I’m not that bad of a supervisor!”

Fuck.

“I think I’ll continue working, I’m sure you want me to scram soon anyway. I’m almost done, trust me.”

“If you don’t get up, you’re fired!”

Evelyn began to walk towards me and she used her mama-bear strength to hoist me up from the ground.

Fuck.

“See? Was that too hard? I’m pretty sure I’d be breaking so many labor laws if I didn’t give you a break-“

Evelyn glanced down at my right thigh, and saw my rigid member sticking right out for everyone to see.

Fuck.

“Um…what is that? Wait…what the fuck? Are you fucking turned on right now? That better not be what I think it is.”

“Wait what?! What do you mean?!

Evelyn within the blink of an eye quickly yanked my pants down, leaving me in my underwear. My bulge was far more noticeable, and she slowly crouched down until she was about eye level with it. Even though I was in such a precarious scenario, I still couldn’t help but feel extremely horny at the sight of her right now. Her belly was so big she had to spread her thighs to make room for it, with her thick thighs somewhat straining the pajama pants.

“Look-I’m so sorry. I just think you’re really pretty and-“

“Shut up.”

“What?”

“I’m conducting an investigation right now, shut up I said.”

Evelyn was still fiercely focused on my cock, when abruptly she yanked down my underwear, freeing it from its restraints.

“I knew it! You little pervert.”

She grabbed my cock tenderly and looked me dead in the eyes, it almost felt like she was going to straight up rip it off. 

“Is this?” She tugged my cock gently, “For me?”

“Um…yes..I’m really sorry. Just like I said-I think you’re really pretty. It’s just something about you…I don’t know. Again, I’m very sorry. I’ll just go-“

“No.”

“What?”

“I haven’t had anyone show any…kinds of attraction to me in months. While in other situations, I would feel completely violated and I would kick your ass right out of here…I dunno. I honestly feel flattered. I know we haven’t known each other very long…but I think it would be fun to see where this goes. Even if it’s just…

Evelyn began to stand up to my eye level, but she was pumping my cock with a slow tempo as she rose up. Once she was standing tall, she lifted her shirt and took it off, revealing a lacey bra she was wearing. And her belly…oh my god that belly. It was completely free of stretch marks, and it looked as tight as a drum. She then poked the head of my cock right into her pregnant belly, and she kissed me as she continued to pump my cock. At first they were gentle pecks, but it soon quickly devolved into swapping spit. Our tongues danced in each other’s mouth, moaning as the tempo of the kisses increased. I raised a hand to the side of her belly, and I began to rub it tenderly in tight circles.

“Mmm…having someone else rub your belly…mmm..feels so fucking good. Why don’t we…take this to my bedroom?

“Gladly.”

Evelyn kept her firm grip on my cock, and dragged me to her bedroom. This girl had the most devilish grin on her face, and I felt my cock grow even harder at the sight of this pregnant goddess. Once she brought me inside, she took off my shirt and threw me on the bed.

“Scoot up to the headboard, now.”

“Yes ma’am.” as I quickly scooted myself back, leaning against some pillows. Evelyn kept eye contact with me as she removed her pajama bottoms, revealing just how thick her thighs truly were. She did a quick little spin, revealing her round ass for me, when she got onto the bed. She crawled on all 4’s until she was in between my thighs, with her eyes fully focused on my cock. She began to gently pump, starting off with a slow tempo,

“Wow…I’m really doing numbers on you huh? Well…while I’m at it, I might as well tell you some more of my pregnancy I left out earlier. I have been…so..incredibly horny since I got to the 26 week mark. But not soon after…this bump was getting way too big for me to do anything about it. I think the last time I got measured, I was about 36 centimeters, but honestly I’ve felt like I’ve grown even more…

Evelyn glanced up at me, noticing my eyes glazing over as the pleasure became a wildfire throughout my body.

Hmm…oh! And my boobs. They’ve honestly grown so much since before I got knocked up. I used to be a comfortable C cup, but honestly I feel like I’m at least a DD cup now. My tits are filled with milk, and they feel so tender, especially my nipples. They feel extremely sensitive right now, and I tend to play with them when I moisturize my bump. My ass and thighs have grown considerably too…I love my new body.

As I heard Evelyn talk..and pump my cock…the urge to cum slowly began trickling in.

“Oh…Evelyn…I think I’m gonna..”

“Nope!” She quickly stopped stroking my cock, her hands covered in precum. She licked it right up, and looked me dead in the eyes. “Not yet. We’re FAR from this being over.” She got off the bed once more, but this time she removed her panties, showing off a small bush of hair trailing to her pussy. She then reached behind herself, and unclasped her bra, revealing her swollen tits. Her areolas were darkened, and her nipples were somewhat thick and round. She got back right onto the bed, and she began to crawl towards me slowly, every moment felt like an hour as she made her way to me. She crawled onto my lap, and grabbed my cock, guiding it slowly into her wet pussy.

“I haven’t had a cock inside me in months…if you can make me cum at least 3 times, I have a surprise in it for you.” as she slowly began to plunge deeper onto my cock. “Oh, and you can’t cum at all until I say so, so best of luck!” 

If a simple handjob almost made me explode all over her bed, I couldn’t imagine how hard this would be with my cock deep inside of her. I looked up at her, and she was clearly enjoying herself as she bounced on me, filling every inch of her pussy. Her eyes were closed, so I took this as a chance to fuck with her. I raised my left hand and began to rub her belly, while my other hand pinched her right nipple.

“Oh my god, you fucking…oh my..mmm…you fucking cheater!”

“Shhh…you like it. You love bouncing on my cock as I play with your tits, don’t you?”

“Mmm…yes I do…your cock…it..mm… fills me so perfectly. Pinch my nipples harder!”

“As you wish!” as I tugged on her nipple and increased the pressure as I pinched

“OH FUCK! Suck on my other tit! Please!”

I stopped rubbing her belly(Sadly), as I guided her left breast closer to my mouth, tickling her nipples with my lips.

“Stop teasing me…just do it!” As she plunged down harder, tightening her grip to try and make me lose. 

I began to gently suck on her milk-filled tit, rolling her nipples around on my tongue as I increased my sucking power. After a few moments of sucking, I felt a warm, sweet stream enter my mouth. 

“AHHH!” Strike 1! 

”Holy fuck, am I lactating?”

*POP*

“Mmm…yeah, your milk tastes delicious. It’s really sweet.”

“Well…keep going..it feels really nice, and the load is lessening quite nicely.”

I continued sucking as I played with her other breast, fondling it and pinching her nipples as her delicious milk flowed into me. 

“Mmm…oh my god…I missed having a cock inside of me…you feel absolutely amazing.” As she tightened her grip, causing me to lose focus. The urge to cum came trickling in, but I tried my damn hardest to fight against it.

“You’re not winning that easily, Evelyn!” I switched to her other boob, and began working away with my tongue while I sucked, as a familiar sweet stream filled my mouth. The moment a drop of milk touched my mouth, I pinched down on her nipple, and moved my hand to her belly button. This entire time, I had never quite noticed she had a cute little nub of an outie. Perfect! I began to rub against it with my hand as I sucked her boob, and I could sense her squirming as I played with her belly button.

“Fuck…No…AAHH. Oh my god…mmm…keep doing that…keep playing with my belly button.”

I continued to rub it, almost as if I was rubbing her clit. I stopped sucking her tit and I had my sight on a new target. Her neck. I quickly latched on and began kissing, nibbling, and sucking her tender flesh. I felt bad she was probably gonna have a hickey, but I have a challenge to win!

“Fuck…I was..really hoping you wouldn’t figure out my neck was my weak spot…oh my god.”Evelyn raised a hand and began tugging at her own nipples, losing herself in the pleasure of our fuck session. “Come on…I know you wanna cum Cassian…can’t you feel how warm and tight my pussy is? I know you wanna cum right inside of me~”, tightening her grip as she bounced on my cock. But Evelyn knew on the inside, she was going to lose. The pregnancy had made her super easy to cum, and once she got going, there was no stopping her. Earlier in her pregnancy, she came 7 times during a great masturbation session. 

“Fuck…I think I’m gonna…mmm…oh my god..fuck…fuck…I can’t hold it in anymore..AAHHHH!”, cumming all over my cock for the 3rd, and final time.

“Oh my god…that was absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much, I really needed this.”

I stopped kissing her neck, but I began to rub her belly again, “It felt really good too…that was actually my first time…so thank you.”

“WHAT?! YOU’RE A VIRGIN?!”

“Yes? Is that a problem??”

“NO! No…don't think that. You just seem really experienced…I really felt loved. Every move you made was deliberate, and it made it feel even better. But now I feel bad because I barred you from cumming.”

“It’s alright, I just wanted to make you feel good. Feeling your taut pregnant belly…tasting milk…was more than enough.”

“NOPE! Get up!”

“What?”

“I SAID GET UP”, as Evelyn kept ushering me off

“Okay…okay you horn-dog”.

Evelyn backed herself onto the headboard this time, sheepishly trying to cover her breasts with her petite hands

“Okay…have you ever heard of a bumpjob?”

“WHAT?! How do you know about that?!”

“Dude, I’ve been watching porn like every other night in an effort to satisfy myself the past few months. Remember this, *She grabs my cock*, is the first cock I’ve had in months. But anyways…one of my absolute favorite videos was watching girls pump cocks on their tight baby bumps…and watching all that warm cum erupt all over it. I’ve been dreaming about it for months, and here I am now, with my own little pregnant fetishist to pleasure me for the next month…as I grow bigger, rounder, and hornier. So…are you interested? You wanna pump that cock all over my big, round, pregnant belly?”

“Oh my god…yes!!”

Evelyn laid down flat on the bed, and guided me closer to her as she grabbed my cock. I was somewhat kneeling, but the pain I’d feel later would be worth it after this.

“Mmm…doesn’t it feel nice having your hard cock rubbed against this big pregnant belly? Oh you know what? I think this will help even more”, as she grabbed on her nightstand for a bottle of lotion. She pumped a few squirts onto her belly, wincing, “Ooh, cold. Okay. Now rub it into my pregnant belly”

I began to rub wide circles, minimizing the globs of lotion into a white sheen on her belly. The lotion seeped into her skin, making it shiny and smooth. I moved my hands up to her breasts, and rubbed the lotion into her milk-filled mounds as well. I pinched her nipples gently at the same time, causing Evelyn to moan.

“MMM! Stop! You’re gonna make me wanna fuck you again…Mm..okay. Where were we…” As she grabbed my cock, and began to pump it into her belly once more. “God…this was everything I dreamed it to be. I can’t wait until you erupt all over my belly. Your cock feels so nice and warm against my bump. Ooh…I think I feel my little bundle of joy…she’s beginning to kick up a storm in there. Here, feel.”

Evelyn grabbed my hand and put it right against where the kicking was, and it was the sweetest thing ever.

“Wow…this feels so surreal. It must be impossible for you to fall asleep at night.”

“Yeah…normally it takes them a few hours to settle down…but today I’m gonna knock out like a night.” as she winked.

Evelyn began to increase the tempo of her pumps, teasing me in every way she could. Rubbing her belly, playing with her breast, squeezing her nipples. I was in absolute heaven.

“Oh my god…Evelyn…this…mmm..feels amazing.”

“Mmm…I bet it does. I bet it’s going to feel even better when you cum all over my pregnant belly, don’t you think?

“Mmm…yeah..It’s going to be so hot seeing my baby batter all over your baby bump.”

“Mhm…it’s going to be a big mess. I wonder how I'm gonna clean it up? I could wipe it off, I could get you to lick it off…I could rub it right into my skin like a natural moisturizer. So many choices. Come on…I know you wanna cum all over my tight baby bump! Imagine seeing your cum splatter onto it, rolling down the sides?”

“Mmm…stop…you’re gonna make me cum..”

“But it’s gonna feel amazing…I know you wanna erupt right now. You’ve been holding all that delicious cum for a while now. I want it all over my baby bump now. It’s gonna help me remain nice and smooth for you…I still have a whole month of growing to go, I can’t get stretch marks now Cassian…come on…cum. Cum all over this taut pregnant belly..”

“Oh my god…mmm..MMMMMHH.”

I lasted for only a few pumps more, until I came all over her belly. Thick white ropes of cum were sent over her pregnant belly, an almost seemingly endless supply. The cum landed squarely on her belly, and even landed on her breasts and neck. It all began to cascade down the sides of her belly, and surely enough, my balls were soon empty. She kept tugging my cock until it shrunk back down, but even then it was still twitching with arousal.

“Mmm…now…what am I gonna do with this?, looking at the cum spreading all over her belly. “Oh…I know.” She then began to rub every puddle of cum into the skin of her belly, not missing a single drop as it slowly faded into her skin. After a few more moments, her belly gave off an opaque-white sheen, a layer of cum moisturization was now a part of her.

“Thank you, for such a lovely day Cassian. I really hope we can do this again soon. If you’re free tomorrow…we still have the crib to finish. I also have a few more things you can build, and I’ll reward you greatly for your acts of kindness. Are you down for that?”

Still out of breath…I managed to spit out a response.

“Yes…mommy”.

~FIN~

#pregblr #preg k!nk #pregnant #preggophilia #pregnant stories #pregnant women #super preggo #preg #preggie #preggo kink #pregnancy

[embrosegraves]

𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤

(request) Sebastian Vettel x Reader (he/they) Kids: Vincent/Vince (4) and Miriam/Mimi (5 months)

Warnings: Mentions of Reader not having a good childhood, mentions of Bad Mental Health™, self-doubt from reader, badly written angst?

It had been an unbelievable few years for the Vettel household. First Sebastian married the love of his life and they moved to a farm in Switzerland. They spent three years together before they adopted an energetic 2-year-old boy named Vincent. They were a perfect family of three. Sebastian retired from Formula One when Vince was 3 and a year later they found themselves at home with a now 4-year-old son and a newly adopted 5-month-old baby girl, Miriam.  

It was everything Seb could’ve asked for. He had a husband and two gorgeous children, he had never been more satisfied with anything in his life. 

Sebastian was so in love with his life that his heart shattered when he saw his life partner struggling. Y/n put up a good show in front of the children, but Sebastian and Y/n had been together for close to 9 years. Not to mention that they had known each other for 13 years. All that to say, Sebastian basically knew them better than themself. So he knew that while Y/n was outwardly happy and excited, their mind was in the trenches between anxiety and doubt. 

Seb could see that he was struggling with something and it physically pained him to not know how to help. Y/n was the single most important thing in his life. Every fibre of his being was made to love him and to make him feel happy and safe. He had to try something to help.

Prior to getting together with Seb, Y/n had explained vaguely what it had been like growing up for them. How they had to basically raise themself from a very early age. The sad fact was, Y/n had never had a consistent flow of positive affirmation or physical affection until finding Sebastian. Growing up both things had been a taboo. Meeting Sebastian had made Y/n determined to break the generational cycle before it had time to fully begin. Sometimes that mindset was hard to keep. Especially when asked a seemingly innocent question from a totally clueless 4-year-old. 

Vince hadn’t even asked Y/n the question, but he had overheard the small boy ask Sebastian. 

“How much am I loved?”

Those five words had sent Y/n into a silent spiral for days. Y/n hadn’t bothered to stick around to hear Sebastian answer the question. Instead, they tried as best they could to continue the day as normal. Why did Vince ask that, of all questions? Y/n was aware that children were always curious about everything, and they knew that it was more than likely just a child’s healthy curiosity. But curiosity had to start somewhere, right? What happened for their son to ask how much he was loved. 

Had he turned into his parents? Had he, without realising, not shown or said how much he absolutely adored his child? Did he somehow do the one thing that he swore he never would? Just the thought of it made him feel sick to his stomach. 

Sitting on the couch one evening, Baby Mimi asleep in one arm while the other circled around a sleeping Vince, Y/n found themself within their mind once again. Thinking about everything they had done leading up to Vince asking that dreaded question. He couldn’t pinpoint anything that seemed out of the ordinary. Nothing had changed in the dynamic since they had adopted their first child. Y/n blinked away the tears forming in his eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, my loves.” Y/n whispered as they looked at their children. Their voice was choked with emotion as they spoke.

“I’m sorry I haven’t done better. I promised myself that I would be better, and it’s not just myself that I’ve let down.” Y/n sniffled. “I said, years ago, that I would never become the people that raised me. That I would stop the cycle before it could begin, but clearly I’ve failed.” 

Sebastian had stopped just before the doorway to the living room, having heard his husband speaking to the no doubt sleeping children. 

“I wish that I could take back every moment you ever doubted my love for you. Prove that I am not my parents and that you are the most important parts of my life. I never want for you to feel how I did as a child.” 

Sebastian couldn’t take it anymore. He walked into the room, gently picked up his son and sat down next to Y/n. Keeping an arm around Vince, he used his free arm to wrap around his partner and pull them close to him. 

Sebastian pressed a lingering kiss to Y/n temple and whispered to him. “They do not doubt your love for them, Blume. I promise you.”

“How would you know that? I have failed as a parent if my child has to ask if he is loved.” Y/n took a shuddering breath, trying to stop themself from bawling their eyes out. 

“I know because I asked. Vince knows how much you love him, he knows how much I love him and I have no doubt in my mind that Mimi also knows how much we love her.”

“Papa, how much am I loved?” 

Sebastian looked at the 4-year-old in his arms, “Why do you ask?” 

“Baba always says that he loves you to the moon. And then you always say that you love Baba for all the stars.” 

“We do say that, yes.” Sebastian could help but smile at his son. He knew that for the young boy to know the endearment he exchanged with his husband, he would’ve had to hear it often. It pleased him to know that his children were growing up surrounded by the notion that affection and openly loving someone was a good thing.

“I just wanted to know how much I was loved. Like you and Baba.”

Adjusting Vince so that he could see his face, Sebastian gave a kiss to his forehead. “Baba and I love you so much that there is nothing we could compare it to”

The boy looked at his father, “And Mimi too?” 

“Of course Mimi too. There is nothing in the whole world that Baba and I love more than the two of you.” 

“Not even your trophies? Baba says you love them a lot.” Vince said, laying his head on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“My trophies don’t even come close, Kleine.” 

Sebastian pulled his husband closer as he finished speaking. I was silent for a moment before Seb spoke up again. 

“You have not failed as a parent, and I know that you will never fail. I have seen how much our son adores you. In every language I know there are not enough words to explain how much he loves you.” 

Sebastian knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to convince his partner that they didn’t need to be upset or worried. He knew that it was hard to come back from your mind. Especially if you had been there for a while. Sebastian was determined to help his partner, no matter how long it took him. He would go to the ends of the Earth if it meant that Y/n knew how much their little family loved them. He would trade every Championship trophy in the world to show Y/n that they are nothing like the people who raised them (because they sure as shit weren’t parents). 

“I love you so much that seeing you doubt yourself hurts me. You are the best damn parent for our children and I just wish that you could see that.”

It might take me a while but I can potentially do a part 2 for this if people liked it.

but anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed <3

#formula 1 x you #f1 x reader #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel x reader #my brain can't think of tags for this #so reblog with tags I'm missing please and thank you #Embrose Writes Things Yay!

[fandoms-writings]

EVENT CLOSED

Those of you wanting to submit a story for the writing challenge at the end of this post, I'm accepting submissions until the end of the year. I'm a slow writer myself and I want y'all to have as much time as you need to join in <3

Welcome to my neon milestone party!

It’s been a few months since I last did a celebration or writing challenge so why not kick off summer with both! I also hit another small milestone, so thank you so so much to all of you for your support 🤍

You must be 18+ to follow me, so you must be 18+ to participate!

We’re gonna have a summer long sleepover, mood boards, a writing challenge, and my requests are officially open for drabbles! 

The cut off is the last day in August!

Under the cut you’ll find all of the ask games and prompt lists and challenge rules! 

Have fun babes  🤍

💎 Rare gems

- Show some love to your fav fics and their authors by sending in some recommendations!

🗒 Ask the Author

- Ask me anything you want about something I’ve written!

📖 Book talk

- Tell me about your favorite book or what you’ve recently read, and why you enjoy it (or why you don’t)

🤫 Secret admirers

- Anonymously (or not) send a love letter to your favorite tumblr person!

🎶 Karaoke

- Send a song recommendation or I’ll put my liked songs on shuffle and send you which one played first!

🫘 Spill the Beans!

- Anonymously (or not) tell me a secret of yours.

🔍 Clue!

- Send me this emoji and I'll post a wip clue (a picture, emoji, a word, etc) and you guys get to guess what it's about. 

🎩 Top 5!

- Another classic. Send me a category, and I'll tell you my top 5 choices within it. 

🙅🏻‍♀️ Never Have I Ever

- This one's pretty self explanatory I think. 

💌 Love letters (mutuals only) 

- I’ll write you a love letter 🥺

🎰 - Spin the Lottery! (mutuals only)

- send me a lil snippet about you (a hobby, your job, your music taste, etc) and a fandom (or not) I’ll pair you with a character from that fandom🤍

Send me a little something - a song, a character, a trope, a quote - anything to give me an idea, and I’ll make a mood board for you 🤍

If you need one for a story even! I’ll gladly help out 🤍

My requests are open for drabbles! Send me a character (it can be from one of my AUs! or not)  and one or two of the prompts from the list below, and I’ll whip up something small for you! As they get requested, they will be crossed off the list 🤍

Angst: 

"Don't go where I can't follow. . . I thought I lost you." (1/2)

"Why didn't you say how bad it was?"  (2/2)

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself."  (1/2)

"You're a mess"/"I'm not a mess."/"I can tell you've been crying."  (1/2)

"You were supposed to be different. They were supposed to be wrong about you, but they were right. They were so fucking right."  (2/2)

"What are we doing?"/"Why are you doing this?"  (1/2)

"I know you, how else do you think I found you so easily?"   (1/2)

"Choose me."  (2/2)

Fluff:

"You know my door is always open for you, right?"  (2/2)

"Will you taste this? Tell me if I'm missing anything?"  (1/2)

"Let me kiss it better."  (2/2)

"You're exhausted honey. Go back to sleep."  (1/2)

"Can I hold your hand?"  (2/2)

“Is that my shirt?” (2/2)

"Come get me? I miss you."  (2/2)

"You're not as bad as everyone says you are."  (2/2)

Smut:

"stop staring." / "i can't, you're so pretty like this" (2/2)

"Keep your pretty eyes on me."  (2/2)

"You're already wet sweetheart."  (2/2)

"What if someone hears us?"  (0/2)

"Let me hear you make that sound again."  (2/2)

"We shouldn't be doing this."  (1/2)

Characters: (spice it up by adding an au in the ask 🤍)

Bucky Barnes 

Marc Spector / Stephen Grant

Miguel O’Hara

If you don’t see who you’d like me to write for, just ask me about them and I’ll let you know if I’m open to writing for them!

Just have fun with this one and follow the rules below! I'm not really making a theme or anything like that, but if you'd like a prompt from me, just ask and specify what kind of prompt! Also feel free to DM me and bounce around some ideas if you need to!

Rules: 

Use the 'read more' option if what you write is over 500 words. 

Properly list your warnings. 

Your story does not have to contain smut if you don't want it to. 

Dark stories are okay, just no non-con, scat, underage characters involved in sexual activity, DD/LG, bestiality, necrophilia, etc. 

Please use characters that I know, from fandoms I'm in. (If you aren't sure what all is on that list, because I don't post about all of them, just ask!)

Tag me! And use the tag #remisneonparty

Make sure it can be read as a stand alone piece. 

The cut off for this will be the last day of August. I sometimes take forever to write something and want to give you all ample time to submit your stories!

Moodboard and all dividers were made by me, but feel free to use them if you’d like 🤍

Tagging some friends (no pressure!)

@sweetdreamsbuck @shamevillain @pocolatte @perdidosbucky-yyo @treatbuckywkisses @foreverindreamlandd @historygeekfics @barnesafterglow @navybrat817​ @jessybarnes​ @buckysdior​ @honeybloomss​ @banana-cheese-cake​ @sparkledfirecracker​ @sidepartskinnyjeans​ @real-jane​ @archive-obsess​ @mutual-monsters​ @bucksangel​ @thepsychewrites​ @starchildbucky​ @nexusnyx​ @lofaewrites​ @thornsnvultures​ @aquariusbarnes​ @captainsimagines​ @writing-for-marvel​ @heavenlybarnes​ @matchamunson​ @buckybleu​ @boxofbonesfic​ @chloelucia13​ @snugglingbucky​

#remisneonparty #milestone celebration #milestone sleepover #writing challenge #1.7k celebration #fandoms-writings #sleepover #open requests

[choicesficwriterscreations]

CFWC Writer of the Month: GenevieveMD

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @genevievemd! We hope you will enjoy learning more about her and her work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: genevievemd Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr?  Sara

1- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played? 

I honestly don’t remember, probably back in like 2017, 2018. I was playing it with the oldest of the kids I nannied at the time and also by myself cause I enjoyed it. We did it like a little book club together. It was also back when the app was not as spicy lol. We played America’s Most Eligible together, but my first book was Rules of Engagement. 

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the fandom officially back in October of 2020, I had lost interest in the app and then found it again during the pandemic. I finished book one of Open Heart and got sucked in. I fell in love with the characters and then rushed to finish what was out of Book 2 at the time (chapter 8). And then I lucked on Tumblr for a bit, stalked @jamespotterthefirst (lol), and then after chapter 17, I joined for real and wrote my first fic. And I’ve been here ever since. 

3- How did you pick your url name? 

It’s my MC’s name, and what I imagined her instagram/social media handle would be. 

4- Go back to your archive and tell us about the first post on your Choices blog. 

OMG, my first legit post was actually me reblogging a post I made on my real blog about Open Heart. I was asking people what we thought Ethan called MC as a pet name for the fic I was writing. 

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Oh man, way too freakin long. At least 15 years was totes part of the fanfiction.net phase of the internet. I used to write for a couple of shows I was into, but I didn’t get super into writing fanfiction until the show Once Upon a Time. And then I wrote all the time for my favorite ship, Captain Swan. They’re all still up on my main blog. 

6- What is your favorite Choices book to write about?

I’ve actually only written for one, Open Heart. I’ve never had the desire or inspiration for any other book. Even though I’ve played a bunch of books. 

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

Do I have to? Lol A Love Like This

It was called A Love Like This, and I hate it. I think mostly because I didn’t have a true voice for Genevieve or my interpretation of Ethan. I contemplate deleting it from my masterlist all the time, but it was part of my journey in the OPH/Choices fandom and paved the way to finding my MC’s voice and my own writing style. So I keep it. 

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

So many lol But I think my all-time favorite would be my series The Year Between. Does that count? It was the first major series I’ve ever written… ever and it tackled so many things about my characters. My second fav is Breathe Through – it was a very personal piece and means a lot to me. 

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but could use a little more love?

Oh totally. My first ever smut fic, Something About You. I was not expecting people to be as into it as much as they were. I was pleasantly surprised because our fandom has so many amazing smut writers, and I don’t compare at all. 

As for one I think needs more love? I honestly can’t decide. For as long as I’ve been in this fandom, every fic I’ve posted has been met with so much love and support I can’t think of any that I wish had gotten more. (Maybe my second smut fic, Sunset Glow, only cause I think it got lost in the Smutober chaos, lol)

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Angsty Fluff. Best of both worlds. It also gives you more options with like fic topics. I like for my fictional worlds to feel a little more real, so people can relate more and I think angsty fluff allows for that. You can have the struggle and sadness but with a happy ending. 

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

LMAO Yes. Genevieve is me but smarter. Most of her traits are my own, including her anxiety and I’ve always used writing her a comfort, a way to express myself in a way that’s healing. If that makes any sense. She’s like the version of me I’d want to be one day. Just not a doctor cause I can’t handle other peoples bodily fluids. Lol 

My OC, Natalie Michaels has a bit of me in her too, but not as much as Genevieve. 

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I call it the in between bits, the descriptive parts between dialogue. I think that has to do with my schooling background. I went to college for film and television and did a lot of screen writing for my classes and so dialogue has always come so easy to me. I envision fics like scenes from an episode or movie, so getting the in between parts of fics can be challenging for me. 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

So many. The epilogue to The Year Between, a valentines day fic, the rest of the Absence Makes the Heart… series. I hope to get back to them one day, but I’ve learned that I can’t force my brain to write because I never like my work when I do. When I’ll wait until the inspiration for them returns, and then I’ll finish them. 

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

Yes. I’m so proud of the world I created from Open Heart and if someone wanted to read them I’d let them. I’d just give them the link to the masterlist for Open Heart: Sara’s Version and say, “Start from the top” lol 

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

IRL writers? No. I don’t read a lot outside of fanfiction which is horrible lol, but in the random, there are a few. Bree @jamespotterthefirst is a huge inspiration for me. She was one of if not the first people I read when I joined, and I’m just in awe of her work. Everything she writes is amazing and brings me so much joy. Others are @jerzwriter and @potionsprefect, and some who aren’t in the fandom anymore.

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

All of my universe, aka Open Heart: Sara’s Version. As I said earlier, I write like I’m writing a tv show lol So I wanna see my version of Open Heart as a show. 

17- Do you write original stories? 

I don’t but I think about turning OPH: SV into an original series.

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I love playing video games. I’m not good, but I enjoy it. I’m super lame and don’t have many hobbies outside of writing and video games… I should get some lmao 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

The double pink heart 

#cfwc writer of the month #open heart #genevievemd #choices fic writers creations #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic #writer of the month #genevieve mcclure

[effervescent-au]

Hey, I know it's been awhile and unfortunately I won't be active in Tumblr often. But I just wanna know what's going on right? If you're okay about giving a small recap of the reason about having a new AU

Okay so there’s a couple reasons that I a) have this AU and b) am working on it instead of the Splat Chat.

First and foremost, Effervescent existed about a year before the Splat Chat, and while I wrote some stuff for it, I never shared anything for it. Effervescent was really the reason I got into writing fanfic, as that the story that I really, really wanted to tell. Back then, it just wasn’t very well put together, and I was not confident in what I had written. I also never worked on the old Effervescent fic consistently; I’d write 10k in a week, and then stop working on it for months. I ended up setting it aside for a while, as I was just not happy with how it was turning out.

Then Splatoon 3 came out, which I played day 1. That was my first time actually playing a Splatoon game (I was about to get splat2, but they announced splat3, so I decided to just wait ). I loved it, and then once I finished the story mode, I was reminded of my Effervescent fic, and I decided I wanted to give it another go. However, I had read a chat fic for another fandom that I really liked and decided that I first wanted to try writing a couple chapters of a chat fic as a warmup, and then I’d go back to Effervescent. So that’s what I did; I wrote a chatfic with some generic usernames and generic personalities, and figured I’d do like 5 chapters and call it done. I also decided to post it to AO3 since I liked how it turned out.

The Splat Chat got a much wilder reception that I could’ve ever hoped for. I loved having people vocally love my writing, so I wrote more and more, abandoning my intentions of writing for Effervescent and instead building out my own universe with the Splat Chat. I started building some lore, character quirks, and eventually named my agents. As we all know, the Splat Chat took off and became it’s own series, with the main fic and all the side stories.

So what happened? I kinda began to lose interest in the Splat Chat last summer. It got harder and harder to write for and think up plot. I really think I should’ve just ended the storyline after Raid Under Storm and Stress, but alas, I did not. The problem was that I never really had solid outlines for the Splat Chat, so I had very little direction besides some vague ideas in my head. Because I started losing interest in the Splat Chat, I ended thinking about Effervescent again. I went back to the old fic and began editing it again, with the intention of posting that. However, I soon realized that it was kinda not great, so I decided I would just rewrite it, and that’s what I did; I uploaded the prologue and chapter 1 in July, iirc.

Then I got caught up in moving out and trying to get ready for university, and I lost a lot of interest in writing in general. The only reason why I was able to post so much stuff for the Splat Chat anniversary was because I really kicked myself into overdrive to do it, because I had hyped it up so much and didn’t want to fall flat. But after that, I was really just exhausted with the Splat Chat universe and writing. I tried to get back into it for NaNoWriMo, but I ended up just getting back into Effervescent instead, and that’s when I started regularly updating that fic, and I’ve pretty much been focusing on writing for that universe since.

Why? Well, if I had to pick favorites between my AUs, it’s Effervescent. I actually have a really good outline and plan, so it feels much more cohesive, whereas the Splat Chat’s story was always messy. Effervescent is also the fic that I always wanted to write, whereas the Splat Chat just kinda… spiraled. I don’t always feel in control of the Splat Chat universe anymore. The Splat Chat just isn’t what it used to be, and I’ve had people point that out too. The cast is huge, the way the series and side fics are organized is horrendous, and it’s definitely a different fic that it was when it first started. I had someone comment that they didn’t like the new direction I was taking the series and they felt it was way too dark when I was working on the end of Amaranthine, and I got really discouraged by that. I was really trying to finish out my vision for that fic before I lost interest, but being told that it’s not what it should be really made me lose confidence in the Splat Chat series as a whole. It was the final nail in the coffin for my interest in the Splat Chat.

All in all, Effervescent was the story that I always wanted to tell, and I was just waiting for the right time. I do want to come back to the Splat Chat eventually, especially because I don’t want to leave a story unfinished when it was a fic a lot of people found solace in, but now’s just not the right time for me. At the end of the day, writing fanfic is just a hobby of mine, and I’m gonna write what I want to write.

Sorry that was certainly not a “small recap” but I think I needed to finally put an explanation down into words about what’s going on with my writing.

#effervescent #the splat chat #long post about writing reasons

[kingsofeverything]

Thank you to anyone out there who’s read anything I’ve written, left kudos, commented, or messaged me to chat about anything I’ve written. I appreciate you so much 💛

🟨Remember Me Before You ~294k .E. Desperate to find a new place to live after he comes home to find his boyfriend cheating, Harry moves into a loft with three strangers. A New Girl AU.

🟪Spring Fever ~4K .E. Harry’s finally out of the first trimester. He and Louis celebrate.

🟦As You Wish ~25K .E. Harry wished Louis free, and life hasn’t been the same since. Written for @onedirectionbigbang

🟥Southern Comfort ~5K .E. Girl!Direction. At a lavish engagement party thrown by her fiancé’s family, Louis meets what seems like a millions aunts and uncles and cousins, but only one stands out: Harry Styles, a gorgeous brunette in a red dress who makes Louis blush like she might catch fire. Written for @wankersday​.

🟩Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) ~7K .E. Everyone Dreams eventually, and everyone’s Dream is different, but all Dreams have one thing in common: They send the Dreamer on a Quest to find their Magic. It’s been months since Louis started his Quest to live as a hermit in a cave in the middle of the woods and he’s not about to let some new guy disturb his hermitage. Written for @1dastroficfest​

⬜️Just Pretend ~90k .E. Louis Tomlinson is a divorced dad who doesn’t date. What free time he has, he likes to spend with his teenage daughter, and if he wants to take someone home, he does it when she’s spending the weekend with her mom. Then he meets Harry Styles, another divorced dad with a teenage daughter, who convinces him it’s a good idea to pretend they’re dating to keep their kids happy. Written for @1dsilverfoxfest​

🟧honey, honey 100 words .NR. a villanelle style poem and drabble inspired by the song “Daylight” and written for @harryshouseficfest​

🟨Late Night Talking ~50k .E. Louis Tomlinson has a new album coming out and a second world tour on the horizon. Promo season gets underway with a stop at Late Night Talking, the late night show hosted by Harry Styles, and Harry Styles just happens to be the man who blew a chance to date Louis a decade ago. Written for the @1dreversebang based on the prompt and gorgeous gifs by @deludedandlostcause

🟦Midnight ~10k .E. “Alphas are for fucking and pheromones,” Louis said during their first conversation, when he was moving into the building and Harry offered to help haul boxes up the stairs. “I’m perfectly capable of carrying my own groceries.” Louis relented when his Omega friend Zayn intervened and asked if he was also capable of moving his couch by himself. All Harry’d wanted to do was be a good neighbor. Now, here he is, half a year later, balls deep and four months into a no strings attached, sex only situation with the Omega of his dreams. He’s still not sure how it happened.

The rest of my Annual* Writing Self-Evaluation is under the cut:

It's been a weird year for me w/r/t fic writing! I wrote my longest fic so far by very much a lot. It was a labor of love and for most of the 8ish months I was writing it, I was feeling very down about my skills and writing in general, but I was having fun with turning New Girl into a larry fic, so I carried on, and I came out the other side ok I guess?

I modded our yearly @wankersday fest and the @harryshouseficfest despite promising myself I'd only do wankfest, and the stress of it solidified that decision lol. No more modding for me (except wankfest).

I wrote 9 fics this year, the lowest number of fics per year since my first year writing, and I posted my first ever fic in October and still wrote 5 fics that year. 6 of my 9 fics this year were for fests. That's more pressure than I usually like to put on myself, but I survived, and here's what my year looked like:

Number of stories posted this year: 9

Word count posted this year: 490,127

Stories with the most:

Kudos: Remember Me Before You (713)

Comment threads: RMBY (656)

Bookmarks: RMBY (605)

Work you are most proud of (and why):

Remember Me Before You my New Girl AU, more than twice as long as the next longest thing I've written, it's really just a love letter to the show. Posting it as a WIP while I finished the last bit was daunting because it's the first time I've done a WIP that wasn't complete before I started posting, but it was so fun! The comments fueled me and I loved chatting with you guys as it was going. Some of you were already New Girl fans, some hadn't seen the show, some starting watching it because of my fic??? it was an experience!

Work you are least proud of (and why):

Uh oh, it’s Magic (when I’m with you) for the @1dastroficfest. It was tough to get started and I think I tried like 4 different ideas for that prompt (The Hermit tarot card), but then Megan @homosociallyyours was like 'what if you took it very literally' and thankfully that worked! This was the first time I've ever been legitimately worried about meeting a deadline.

A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I'm never any good at picking snippets. I usually ask Nic @louandhazaf to assist, but this is part of a snippet I posted earlier this year, so... this is from Just Pretend, my older, divorced larry meet and decide to fake a relationship for their kids fic for @1dsilverfoxfest

According to his mom, he started flirting at two days old, and he’s only gotten better over the last forty-five years. Harry's had about that long to earn a doctorate in dimples. He wields them as he moves closer, pressing his chest against Louis’ palm and lifting his left hand to cradle Louis’ jaw. Cool despite the heat they’ve borrowed from his body, the touch of Harry's rings sends a shiver down Louis’ spine. His heart beats harder as he leans in. 

Louis’s never been a fan of tequila, but the sweet, peppery liquor is hardly perceptible under the taste of lime on Harry's tongue and the swirling, spicy scent of his sweat, deodorant and cologne. Three in the morning is only marginally cooler than midday and after working all night, Louis is damp with sweat and beer and he smells like it. Thankfully, Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He cups the side of Louis’ neck, fingertips toying with the ends of Louis’ silver hair, tickling and sending a thrill through him as he inches closer.

Grabbing hold of Harry's hips, Louis shifts his stance, stepping one foot between Harry's and sliding a hand around to splay across his lower back under the blousy hem of his half-buttoned shirt. Tilting his head, their noses bump, and Harry pulls back, wet lips parted, panting. Louis hardly has time to breathe before Harry guides him into another kiss, holding him so tightly that his forearm presses between Louis’ shoulder blades while his hand cups Louis’ neck. 

Hunching over Louis, his other hand tight on his hip, Harry bends him backwards—dipping him as if they were dancing—and Louis gasps into Harry's mouth. Hungrily, Harry sucks kisses over Louis’ jaw, down his neck to the hollow of his throat, dragging plush lips over the rough two-day beard Louis hasn’t bothered to shave before setting Louis back on his feet. 

Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i can't pick one. i'm terrible at picking favorites! but i will say that every person who read rmby as a wip and commented as they went, you guys are the real mvps of my 2022 fic experience.

A time when writing was really, really hard:

all year. no joke. and i know it seems stupid to say because i've posted almost half a million words this year, but i struggled to enjoy writing for much of this year. deadlines really fuck with my head, so i'm hoping to avoid those next year

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

my entire fic for @wankersday in may. it's my first ever time writing girl!direction so i was very nervous and the whole thing surprised me while i was writing it and it continues to surprise me whenever i remember it exists

How did you grow as a writer this year:

idk man. i wrote a kid fic! and i wrote girl!direction. so that's 2 never before things in 2022

How do you hope to grow next year:

tbh i hope to grow in my ability to experience fomo and live with it. i hope to continue to strengthen my ability to say no lol. i'm only planning on writing for wankfest this year, so who knows what'll happen

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

nic @louandhazaf is always in this spot. she's my #1, my best friend, the other half of my brain, and the only reason i write

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

doesn't it always? though tbh nothing specific i can think of at the moment

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

just write. and listen to @roseanddaggerpodcast :D

Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

i am going back to school in january, so fic writing is being bumped way down the list of my priorities for 2023. like i said above, i only plan to write for @wankersday in may, but tbh idk if i'll be able to. Other than that, I’m looking forward to recording @roseanddaggerpodcast

Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

well, i drafted this post weeks ago lol and since then i've been tagged by @larryyouknow @jacaranda-bloom @louistomlionson @allwaswell16 @haztobegood @louandhazaf @chai-hat-tea @larrysballetslippers and i'll also tag

@londonfoginacup @bananaheathen @disgruntledkittenface @fallinglikethis @sadaveniren @jaerie @lululawrence @absoloutenonsense @alwaysxlarrie @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @cyantific @littleroverlouis @onlythebravest and if i tagged you in an answer above, consider yourself tagged here as well

*All answers should be about works published in 2022

#my fic #2022 #year in review

[thenicestthingiveseen]

one year of fanfiction!

this was my first year writing fic after years and years of reading it off and on.

i published my first fic on February 10, 2023. As of today, (exactly one year)I have written [insert number] of fics for Harry Potter and Red, White, and Royal Blue.

My top 5 favorite fics I've written are:

5. i want that late night sweet magic forever lasting love

4. love songs

3. almost doesn't count

2. every thing i need is right here by my side

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

I'm currently working on two longer fics:

in all chaos there is calculation

untitled RWRB htgawm AU

My writing and posting has been slower in the past few months. Which, I have a love hate relationship with. Real life has been busy and ideas haven’t been flowing the way they used to, but also I’m forcing myself to be better with what I put out and how I share it. I’ve never really considered myself much a writer - I wrote little stories in grammar school, but by middle school other people seemed to be much more well equipped for fiction (I could still write kick ass academic essays - I’m very proud of research papers I’ve written about Beyoncé, Chicago (2002), and the history of House Music). Now I’m rambling. The point is. Writing fiction lead me to reading more fiction and reading more fanfiction (I’ve been lurking in the HP Fandom since idk when, ily hgnetwork.co.uk) and re-learning how to tell stories, well. Telling long ones, actively planning, being organized, all of it. I fell into the RWRB fandom, I need people to scream with about Kennedy Ryan’s ‘Before I Let Go’ trilogy, I was recommended books I would have never ever found in my life and loved them. I’ve watched movies, shows, documentaries that have been referenced. Listened to more Taylor Swift in this year alone than I have since 2009.

I’ve grown so much and still feel like I’ve come back to myself so much.

All of that to say, thank you to every one who has ever read anything that I've yeeted out into the universe, thank you for your ideas, your feedback, your comments, book recs, fic recs -- all of it means so much to me and here's to the next year of fics!

#writing #hinny #hp fanfic #rwrb #rwrb fanfic #year in review

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #22: shemar

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

Yo, I’m shemar. I rap and produce under my given name. I prefer to be referenced in all lowercase (the “bell hooks” reasoning, all love if you don’t / forget to). I released my first EP sound of summer burning the body in September 2022. Since then, I’ve dropped one album (obtuse ways to say that i love you, November 2023) and a couple EPs. My most recent release is sunscreen, fully produced by the immensely talented Child Actor. I consider that EP the end of my rookie “year” as a rapper. I’m currently working on two rap albums. One is produced by Outside House and the other produced by bloomcycle. Don’t expect them anytime soon. A lot of my producer work should be releasing this year, including an album with fox, an album with baegull, a lot of songs with money for water, and wherever else the wind takes me! I hope to loosen up some while finishing all these joints. Maybe drop raps here and there, a beat tape, whatever else. I hope to be more publicly present for a majority of the year, but nothing grand, ya know?

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I tend to solidify my ideas at home. Lines come to me pretty frequently, but organizing those lines is a super mood based thing. There are times where I’ll draft up at least a verse a week for months, and there are times where I’m in an organization drought. I’ve been writing heavily for seven years at this point, and have moved on from the fear of ���losing the magic” recently. It’s less that I don’t think I can lose it. I think, if I do “lose the magic,” then it’ll come back when it’s ready or I’ve done everything I can in this medium. It is what it is. I deeply admire those who have a consistent, disciplined writing schedule. That’s just not me at the moment.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

My process bounces between my Notes app and a notebook. When I come up with lines, they stay in my phone. I have a “Poem Thoughts” note on my phone just for this purpose. My notebook comes in once I’m ready to organize those lines into a larger idea. Once I have that solid first draft, I bounce it onto my phone. From there, I might make little edits on my phone as I memorize the verse for recording. The written word is most important to me, but I care a lot about how it feels coming off my tongue. A lot of my smaller edits are just to make the verse easier to one-take. I appreciate having my solidified ideas in two places because if something happens to one tool, I can still refer to the other. I almost lost an older verse from not following this process, so I’m very particular about it.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I think I write in a pretty disorganized manner. My biggest rapper fear is someone I admire asking for a feature and being like, “Give me a 16,” or whatever. I can count bars; I never think about it when I’m writing though. If anything, I care more about how much time my writing takes up. I don’t really like taking up space, so my verses/songs are usually shorter to reflect that. I could never see myself having a solo song that hits four minutes, or an album that hits 40 minutes. It’s just not me at the moment.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

It’s all in the feeling for me. Each step in my process has a moment where I can discard what doesn’t “feel right.” Sometimes when I’m in an organization drought, it might be because I’m overwhelmed by the quantity of loose lines in my “Poem Thoughts” note. So I’ll just delete the whole note and start over. The lines that are meant to be will stay with me. I practice rapping each line while I’m organizing. If anything feels wrong I just scrap it, be it an individual line or a whole verse. Earlier on into rapping, if a song got a demo that solidified, it’ll come out. Lately I’ve gotten comfortable scrapping demos, usually because I find a better beat for what I’m trying to say / how the idea needs to be presented. My favorite example of this at the moment is this song (unreleased) I have called "whomp’s fortress." The original demo was on a very different beat, a dope one still, but I’m much more comfortable with/confident in the current version. I’m very adamant that everything comes together how it’s supposed to. That keeps me from being scared about reconstructing an idea.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. When I was a kid, I wanted to write sprawling YA novels akin to Percy Jackson. Those never got past a few chapters at most, but I would envision the plots from beginning to end every single night. I started writing poetry in early high school, honestly because I wanted to be a rapper. I fucking sucked at rapping, so I thought focusing on poetry would help me become a decent rapper. I took a hella long route but I guess I was right in the end, huh?

I have many poems that I’m still proud of, and occasionally incorporate lines from them into my verses. The self-plagiarism is personal. I like the idea of treating my older self with the same reverence I give my other influences (Amiri Baraka, Henry Dumas, etc.). When I wrote poems, I was very focused on making every sentence hit. I don’t like being stripped from the full context, but if someone is gonna do it might as well make the line hard as fuck ya know? It was to the point where my poems just became bricks of text. Hearing Fred Moten’s work at a poetry festival put that idea into my head, and I just ran with it. I think that writing philosophy is still foundational to what I do now.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

After that initial draft, I spend a lot of time reflecting on my verses. I usually know what each individual line means, but I rarely grasp the personal depth of my verses until I really sit with them. I might make little changes to a verse to better emphasize certain ideas that feel urgent. I also consider my audience during editing, something I never do during earlier parts of the process. I’m not necessarily interested in being understood, but I don’t wanna be misunderstood either.

I consider unlearning a very urgent process. One major aspect of unlearning, in my opinion, entails being aware of possible violence you could be perpetuating, even in something as “small” as a word. I’m always striving to present an honest version of myself, good or bad. Simultaneously, I fucking hate those who say personal things / mistakes just for the shock value. Oftentimes shock value is just an excuse to spew reactionary bullshit. I don’t ever want my work to be reduced to that. I deeply admire artists like billy woods and Fatboi Sharif, who have really mastered shock value that isn’t regressive as fuck. All and all, when it comes to editing I try not to get in my own way.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

It’s rare that I come up with lines while listening to a beat, but I always work with a beat when I’m organizing lines. Even if the lines don’t end up on that beat, just having a backdrop to hear how the words fall is so helpful to getting that solid draft.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

My lyrics are super stream-of-consciousness, a byproduct of my process. I take from my experiences with the world with the intention to reflect and learn.

Not gonna lie, I don’t care about rhyming at all, as blasphemous as that feels to say. I obviously try to do it, but I prioritize getting my shit off. There are times where I just won’t rhyme. I’m not particularly proud or disappointed about the fact. Sometimes shit just happens that way. I think as I’ve become more comfortable with / better at rapping, I’m finding those pockets where I can say exactly what I want while rhyming. It’s a cool feeling. I will always prioritize saying what feels right though, rhyming or not.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I used to be extremely one-track minded regarding how I rapped, but I’ve been opening up to trying more. One of my homies, baegull, has been a huge reason for this. He has a clear style, but I don’t know anyone who’s so open to molding the way they rap like him. It’s quickly becoming his biggest strength.

Recently, I’ve been focused on rapping a little slower. I think there’s always an urgency in what I write, but I’m interested in articulating that feeling differently. I don’t think I rap fast per se, but I’ve been told that all the words can be overwhelming at times. Once I start, I don’t really stop until the song is over. I enjoy that about my work a lot; it’s the style built from my work as a poet. I’ll never let go of it. Still, I’m experimenting with letting lines breathe a tiny bit more, putting heavy emphasis on certain words through my delivery alone.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

"skytrain! skytrain!" captures who I am in a way no song has. I really feel it’s my best song so far. It’s genuinely difficult to describe how “me” that song is without saying “just talk to me then listen to the song,” but that’s really it. This song is a collage of people and events from my life, and even beyond it: writing during D.E.A.R time in 1st grade, visiting my grandfather in Alabama during late elementary, and references to friends from high school / early college, and more; all written under land that existed in my family long before I did. I was also just going dummy all through this song. Some of these lines are so fucking nuts, in my opinion. If you (the reader) have not listened to me before, I’d suggest that song to start (and then the rest of the EP, please and thank you).

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

A portion from "if you can read this (morning breath)," the sixth track on obtuse ways to say that i love you:

useda watch sun and moon play favorites now resort to tentative hope uncertainty, comfortable place could never claim clairvoyance my portion of love freedom rooted

This was the first song that I intentionally wrote for that project (I wrote "speakeasy" a couple months prior). I’d consider it the closest thing to a title track for the album. I spent a lot of that time reflecting on how I love and why. I think the track as a whole, but especially these lines, captured it extremely well. I really appreciate how I used the image of the ever-present sun / moon in the  sky, specifically how it seems like they’re always following us, as a representation for childhood. Like just the genuine main character syndrome we all had as kids, ya know? At those times, everything literally orbited around us. Of course that’s something to outgrow, but I also feel there’s some wholesomeness in being able to boldly claim, “I matter, I’m important.” It’s a very different feeling from the “tentative hope” that I live with now. But uncertainty has become a beautiful, comfortable place for me. The last line explains why, because my portion of love is freedom rooted. I’m uninterested in ownership, being followed, anyone’s world orbiting around me. Traditional ideas about romance haven’t served me well. Real rigid traditions aren't for me at all honestly. Who I love, when I love them, how I love them, and why, is not something I will ever apologize for. I can only hope I’m accepted for it. I think I captured that in a cool way here.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I don’t punch-in. I need to be able to do a verse from top to bottom, and I write so I can do so. It’s less a beef regarding punch-ins and more just a personal desire. I love performing my raps, so when I write/record I think about the performance a lot. Usually I perform my songs slightly differently from the recording, but I love having the “one take” energy.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Interviews. I love interviews so much. I read them all the time. Listen to podcasts all the time. I love hearing other artists’ perspectives. There are artists who I’ve grown to love off of listening to their music with insight they gave in an interview. I think this underground “scene” has so many platforms with consistent in-depth interviews / music discussions. I’m immensely grateful. Love to The Rap Music Plug Podcast, Freemusicempire, Call Out Culture, The Next Movement, CineMasai with Reel Notes, literally Caltrops Press. I could go on and on. There's so many. My first interview was with my homie kiluhmanjaro for his platform: ANTII, and I know his goal is to have interviews on this level. We’re blessed in my opinion.

Lately, I’ve been tapping into a lot of movies. My goal is at least one new movie a week. I saw Mo’ Better Blues for the first time at the end of last year and that fucked me up. It was so good. I’ve been obsessed with this movie for years, Monologue, directed by Adoor Gopalakrishnan. I don’t even know why I enjoy it so much, but it’s just so moving.

There’s this book, Against the Loveless World by Palestinian-American writer Susan Abulhawa. It felt like I was a kid again the first time I read through it. I finished it in like three days. Such an amazing read on a variety of levels. This book had a huge influence on my upcoming work with Outside House.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I’ve definitely become more confident in my art. Everything I’ve done since I finished writing obtuse ways… in Spring of 2023 is at least pretty good. I trust my ability to write more than anything. When my gut says a line is good, then it’s good. Writing alone is easy. Rap is much more than writing though. I can be hypercritical of my pronunciation while rapping. Sometimes I get super into it and listening back there are moments that to me sound like syllables kinda just crashed together. I’m also aware that’s kinda just how I talk though. Despite this, I know when I have the right take. It’s a gut feeling, and my gut is the biggest reason I am where I am right now (maybe getting a better mic helped a bit too).

When I don’t trust myself I go to my friends, be it the ones who I make music with or those who aren’t as focused on music. My art would not be able to exist without community.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

ELUCID is my favorite rapper. I think it’s mad obvious he’s my favorite rapper. I’m genuinely struggling to write more, because I think listening to his music speaks for itself. Go listen to "Betamax," or "strength is admired humanity is denied," or "House Keys." I could go on, and don’t even get me started on Armand Hammer verses or insane features he’s done. What rapper wouldn’t want to be on this level? I’m grateful I’ve developed a strong sense of self because if not, I don’t know man. Fuck just living rent free, ELUCID has a city’s worth of mantras in my head. I admire what he does so much.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I hope my art communicates the main thing I want: liberation for all marginalized people. Especially Black people. That’s the throughline between every syllable. I also work my art to accurately capture who I am as a person. If the listener gets it, they do. If not, so be it. I’m not perfect, and I hope I never am. I hope to be able to learn from the world up to the moment I leave it, and my art is the best means for that.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Grace Li @graceliphotography

#shemar #underground hip hop #zines

[callipraxia]

Things I Learned This Morning:

1) Using print instead of script, which would be faster but less tidy, I may hand-write not far under 1300 words per hour when things are going well. (The exact number was 1267 words)

2) My brain harbors an irrational hatred for the number 4 apparently? (I kept almost skipping it and having to go back and erase the little number above fourth words because I wrote 4 as 5, for instance, going straight from 223 to 225 before I caught myself.)

3) Taking a pencil and individually numbering every word you wrote takes a really long time.

4) Apparently my brain also cannot handle writing a series of numbers that consistently go above two digits. I transpose digits, forget the first digit, write 8 instead of 3, write 5 instead of 8, write 2 instead of 9….I made it through the first 1000 but counted the remainder in blocks of 1-100 in the interests of staying tolerably sane.

5) My print is indeed much more legible than my script, but also, oww, my elbow feels like it’s about to crack right now and my hand feels all twisted up inside, ow ow ow.

(Backstory: I’ve been stuck in a rut for a while, so I decided to say “what the heck” and try to force myself to write a rough draft of one of my fanfic ideas for NaNoWriMo. I’m printing because I am currently Resolved to write a complete rough draft and then revise it, all before posting anything. Then, in theory, I’ll post it by chapter on an actual *posting schedule*. However, since I have never managed to muster the kind of discipline needed to keep working on a project nobody has seen and praised some part of for that long in my entire life…we’ll see. Plus, it might be easy enough to make it to the word count minimum today, but I only just finished the setup phase of the first scene, getting Pacifica from “the alarm clock rang” and through “Pacifica reflects on what mornings in Northwest Manor were like compared to her new life” to the point of “Pacifica has gotten out of bed.” That kind of writing is super-easy for me, but the kinds where things actually happen can be…much slower going. Which means I’ll have to apply even *more* discipline to make quotas on some days. So basically I, a deeply scattered and undisciplined person, am basically attempting to overhaul my personality for at least a month, lol. Wish me luck, folks….

For my GF peeps, I hope that you’ll enjoy the results if this project does amount to anything, even though it is a bit of a departure from my ‘usual’ material. You see, I have a lifelong, deep-seated love for books set in schools/based around school years, and I have decided to combine that with my desire to write some post-canon material. We’re picking up very shortly after the finale, with the first day of school in Gravity Falls - the Pineses should have some involvement, here and there, but mostly via phone and Internet. I’m sufficiently addicted to the “greater scope” that I don’t think I‘ll end up with something that is purely YA or a “girls’ book,” but it will involve focusing on more girls and therefore “girl stuff” than canon/anything I have written previously - Pacifica, Wendy, and Candy are all projected to be narrators, with Grenda also at least being an important character and possibly a fourth narrator. Compare to FWJB, where the narrators consisted of ten dudes, Bill, and Mabel…and although I put him in his own category, Bill does seem to use he/him pronouns when interacting with English-speaking mortals, and so one could very reasonably argue that the narrators consisted of eleven dudes plus Mabel. Soos may well get some narrator time, but this one also seems on course to primarily focus on the kid characters. Gulp. We’ll see how it goes….)

#writing #writing life #writer problems #nanowrimo #nano 2023 #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fanfiction #gravity falls fanfic #fanfic #fanfic problems #fanfic writing #wish me luck I’m gonna need it

[corpupine]

A Long-Awaited Update

I’ve been putting off writing this update for a while now. Not because I’m suffering or struggling at all—life is actually really good! It’s had some truly awful, crappy stuff mixed in, but for the most part my life is very happy. The reason I’ve been putting this off is that I really don’t know where to start. Most of you will have noticed that I stopped posting updates of NemaTale on here sometime last year. There are a couple of reasons for that that I want to explain, then I want to move on to life updates and what’s coming next for NemaTale.

First: Why did I stop posting on Deviantart?

There’s no special reason or controversy here. I post on three sites: Deviantart, Tumblr, and Tapas. Both Tumblr and Tapas offer a scheduling system so that posts can be queued in advance. I was able to schedule posts on those two sites, but Deviantart doesn’t have that function, so each time there was an update I had to go in and manually enter all the information. As my life got more and more hectic (which will be explained a little bit more in the life updates section), I found that I was forgetting to update on Deviantart. I kept on putting it off, figuring I’d get around to it eventually. But uh, whoops—the end of Chapter 4 has been posted everywhere but on Deviantart! I’ll get those last pages up and running soon, but I wanted to offer some sort of explanation before I did so.

(As a side note: I haven't been keeping up with updating the links between pages on Tumblr, for a similar reason. I'll hopefully get those up and going soon so you guys can read the comic more easily on here.)

Second: What’s going on with Corpupine?

So much, you guys. Soooo much, and most of it is—like I said—truly wonderful. I haven’t been posting updates about my life hardly at all, and I want to maintain privacy, but here’s a few fun things I wanted to tell you about:

-Got a big girl job working for a local publishing company (I’m an editor by day and I love it, but it’s very time and energy consuming)

-Helped my wonderful husband self publish a book (that I edited, naturally)

-Moved to a different city

-Finally, finally finished a draft for a novel I’ve been tinkering with for 9 years

Oh, and also, this:

Yes, in what may be the best (accidentally) kept secret ever, I’m a few months away from giving birth to a baby girl. That has been the main reason for my absence online as my husband and I have been preparing for her arrival. This baby has been very much something we have hoped for, and it took longer than we expected to get this far, so we are very happy. We are over the moon excited, a little freaked out, and ready to snuggle her sooo good.

So with that bombshell dropped, let’s talk a little bit more about the stuff you’re all really here for.

What’s next for NemaTale?

Months before I got pregnant, I had already finished Chapter 5. The script for chapter 6 is about 50% written—the broad strokes are there, I just need to nail down the dialogue. Then I started my big-girl job, and life started to get a little out of control. I was incredibly busy all the time with my job, and helping my husband with his book, and I really wanted to start using any free time just to rest and recuperate. I think that was the best choice for me; too much on my plate would have probably led me to have a nervous breakdown, haha. As it is, I’m doing well emotionally, but . . . I haven’t drawn anything since about June of last year. So we’ve got Chapter 5, totally finished and just waiting to be queued up; chapter 6, partially written; aaaaand then a big black void in front of me. (Why does that word feel so . . . familiar?) That should be scary to me, but it’s not. I’ve accomplished a lot, even if I haven’t progressed on the comic. I’m proud of myself and how far I’ve come. But what does that mean for you guys?

Here's the lowdown: I’m giving birth soon. I’m not going to be able to commit to any sort of comic goals in the near future. I’m not even sure what the future of NemaTale looks like, but I do know this: I still love this story. I don’t want to stop creating it, but now’s not the right time for me to be focusing on that. Sometimes life just gets too full to do everything on the list. I just can’t keep this at the top of my list for now.

Chapter 5 is, as I’ve said, completely ready to go (except for the chapter cover, which I haven’t made yet.) So I’m going to put this choice out to you guys. What do you want? Do you want me to go ahead and post chapter 5 over the next few months and then I’ll just see you all when I see you, somewhere down the line? Or do you want me to wait to post chapter 5 until there is also a chapter 6 officially on the way? That could take many, many months, so be aware of that.

I love the interactions I have with all of you. I’d love to keep having them, even if I won’t be able to post new stuff beyond chapter 5 for a while. But I really am okay doing whatever you guys think is best with regards to posting chapter 5. Just let me know in the comments below.

All right, I think that’s everything. I appreciate your patience with me in all this. In the past year, so much has happened. My husband and I have gone on adventures. I turned twenty-five and I’m finally starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I tragically lost one dear relative and for a while we thought we were going to lose another one—which, miraculously, we haven’t. Spring is here, and there’s a little girl kicking me in the ribs as I write this. Life is good.

#random nematale update #uhhh...surprise? #tbh i'm not sure how people are going to take this #but i just wanted to get an update out there #i'm happy and thriving and well #just...very busy #<3 you all

[hbyrde36]

Self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🖤

oh! so fun, thanks anon!

In no particular order because they are all precious to me:

Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

Vampire Eddie Munson, Vampire Hunter Steve Harrington, P.I. Robin Buckley, bad-ass gun toting Nancy Wheeler, VAMPIRE DUSTIN!, Stripper Chrissy Cunningham, and so much more.

My ‘steddie as Anita and Jean-Claude from the Anita Blake novels’ fic. I fucking love this thing. It’s SO FUN. The book series it’s pulled from start out in the 90’s (yes I’m old and I read them when they were originally published🙈) and as much as I love the idea of Vampire Hunter Steve having a beeper, I decided to bring things up to present day (along with quite a few other changes to make it my own, and to fit the steddie vibe). It’s weird and a little challenging writing a fic intermingling two different pieces of media, but I love weaving in and combing elements of each universe's lore, while still maintaining the main beats of the story. If nothing else, read this one for the dream sequences!

2. Caught in the Undertow

Post season 4, Canon Divergent – Eddie lives and Vecna has been defeated.

AKA the sad Eddie fic, or, as i used to call it in my head, 'the passively suicidal Eddie fic'. This was my first foray into the ‘giving my own issues to my blorbos’ thing, although it still seems to be in character for them, I think. Don’t worry, I spread it out between both Eddie and Steve, so they’re both a little fucked up. I loved and hated writing every word of this fic. It was so hard sometimes and I made myself cry more than once, but it was incredibly cathartic. This is the fic I go back to and read parts of more than anything else I’ve written.

3. Times Like These

Time loop, Eddie POV

TLT was my first brain worm, my first ever fanfic, and the first thing I’d written period in a very long time. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was so intrigued by the idea and there weren’t many (any?) Eddie POV time loops on ao3 at that point so it was definitely a little bit of a “fine I’ll do it myself” moment. I was just so curious how it would play out if Eddie, the new guy who knew so little about the upside down, who got thrown into the mix and died all within a single week, were to be the one stuck in a loop. What would he think was happening to him? Would he trust the party enough to tell them? What would he do or change to try and fix things? I think I’ve improved quite a bit as a writer since I finished this, just through sheer practice, but I’m still so very proud of my first baby and think about it often.

4. Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy)

Canon was just a crazy homebrew D&D game, sort of.

My second brain worm, this fic lived in my head for 8 months before I had written a single word of it. It all started with the idea that, 'what if all of the events from the show had just been a D&D game played by the boys in Mike’s basement?', and then I ran with it from there. It’s a work in progress and we have still have a ways to go (I’m not sure we’re even at the halfway point yet) but I love how it’s turning out. The response from readers, in comments on ao3 and tumblr, to this one has been very kind and encouraging. It makes it SO easy to work on knowing others love it as much as I do.

5. Thank God we didn’t peak in High School

Friends-with-Benefits to Lovers, Modern Au, life after high school au, no upside down

I wrote this series at the last minute for Steddie Week. Last minute, as in I didn’t even start until several days into the event. I’ve never put out so many words so fast. This fic is loosely based on my own marriage’s origin story, although our beginnings were even more dramatic than this (I felt like I had to tone it down to make it believable). This is the first project that made me realize how fun writing from prompts could be! It’s definitely not my best writing, but the story is fun and cute, a little dramatic and angsty, and as always the boys get their happy ending!

#asks #my fics <3 #steddie fanfic #self rec #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #steve harrington/eddie munson #steddie #time loops and AUs and trauma - oh my!

[wwwurbunnygrldotcom]

Young Boris Pavlikovsky Imagine

California 2:27 AM

(UNEDITED)

     My tears ran down my face, hot and salty, crashing down on me just as my week has. I had been so strong up until this moment. I kept away my temptations and bit my tongue to prevent me from thinking of him. He wasn't good for me, all the drugs, the alcohol, the stealing, he never benefitted me. It’s been 5 months since I’ve last spoke to him, I’ve been 5 months sober.

      So I disappeared, I completely ghosted him and left without a trace. My aunt gave me an opportunity to leave Nevada and head towards California to clear my head. I changed my number after moving schools so It would prevent the midnight calls I'd receive daily. Though every time I answered he never spoke, never cried, never dared whisper anything. He just breathed, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, all into the microphone. I’d spend a couple seconds just closing my eyes and listening, because even then just for a second I could pretend he’s still here holding me. I suppose living out this delusion in my head felt better than facing reality. 

       It completely shattered my heart. I'd cry and scream at night because seemingly, the night time was the worst time to be alive. The burning in my chest was so excruciating that sometimes it never felt real, I think that was the worst of all. I couldn't tell if I was losing my mind or if I was eternally bleeding.

       The only thing that would calm me down was smoking Ashton cigars, the same ones he would light right after sex . I still remember our Friday nights filled with strawberry vodka and tobacco, and how his hands would still linger even after we both were satisfied. It made me feel like an oasis to a dehydrated man, he was never satisfied with one touch. 

      The room was dosed with smoke, covering our vision. making the sensation of touch, hearing, and smell oh so more powerful. As the light would dim down he would wrap himself closer and closer to me, the whispers of admiration and praise would swarm my senses. 

      Those were the nights I craved most when I was this vulnerable. During one of the phantom calls I had written down his number just in case I truly needed him. I think I need to use my one way ticket. 

      Typing in the exact numbers of his cellphone was almost as anxiety ridden as hearing the repetitive humming sound that followed after. Maybe 3, no more like 4, seconds had passed before the humming had stopped and so did my heart.

      “Princess?” A Ukrainian boy spoke out, his breath hitched as the last syllable fell out of his mouth. 

      Did he recognize me by my breath?

      “I need you. Please.” I completely broke down and lost all composure I was even attempting to hold. A sob escaped my mouth before I could hide it, the tears running fast down my cheeks. 

      “Shh, don’t cry little one. I’m on my way. I love you” He responded lowering his voice, getting down to my level. He always had this way of reaching a point of myself no one else could have. 

      Before I could even respond he had shuffled around his room and hung up the call.  As desperate as I had seemed before it all started crashing down on me, I'm starting to regret inviting him back into my life. Was this a mistake?

hehe I hope you all enjoy!!

#finn wolfhard #finn #boris pavlikovsky #the goldfinch #stranger things #imagine #yandere

[ciaossu-imagines]

Hope that it’s alright that I’m asking about the whole list. If it’s too much, just pick your preferred ones. An you do day 20, prompt 7 (fanfiction questions)?

Of course it’s alright! I’ve done prompts much longer than the 20 questions here and honestly, I feel so flattered that you’re interested in me enough to ask! Thank you so much for sending this in, giving me the opportunity to talk about this, and I hope you’ll find some interesting little tidbits here, my gorgeous anon 😊

1.    When did you start writing?

Wayyyy, way too long ago to remember an exact age, honestly. I’ve been writing in some form for as long as I remember. I remember writing little scenes about Dragon Ball Z after watching episodes in a Hilroy scribbler that thankfully never saw the light of day. I remember writing Dream Street fanfiction to horribly date myself. I’ve been writing in some form from at least eight years old, and I remember going into early middle school trading hand-written, on looseleaf in binders, Harry Potter fanfiction with a friend. I remember writing on Quizilla first though for major fanfiction platforms, also around middle school I think, so I think my first internet fanfiction would have been around 2003-ish?? So I’ve been writing fanfiction here on the internet for at least 20 years, which makes me feel super fucking old, my lovelies.

2.    How many different fandoms have you written for?

Easily over a hundred. I write for a solid 37 fandoms on here currently and there’s been several that I used to write for but don’t anymore, not to mention fandoms that I wrote for way back and stopped writing for before ever coming onto Tumblr.

3.    If applicable, do you think your writing has improved a lot or a little since you first started writing?

Oh, I can absolutely guarantee you that my writing has improved leaps and bounds from little eight-year-old me scribbling on paper. Even from the original Polycanons blog here on Tumblr to today, I feel I am always improving my writing skills in some way or another. I honestly think that’s all I can continue hoping and praying for, that despite having a set style as a writer now, that I keep consistently improving on this or that as a writer. Right now, my biggest struggle still remains dialogue, but I’m actively working on improving that wherever I can.

4.    What was the first fic you wrote?

As mentioned above, I remember scribbling out little Dragon Ball Z fanfiction. The first smut I ever wrote was Vegeta smut, haha. I can’t remember the details of any of them clearly, but I think that was one of the first fics.

5.    What is your favourite fic you have written?

Oh, this one is impossible for me to answer. Not only do I have admitted issues with labelling anything as a favourite, but I’ve admitted that although some people have guessed prior names I’ve written under, I refuse to publicly acknowledge my past usernames I’ve used to write. It’s not because I’m ashamed so much of what I’ve written, though I do think that they are not the greatest fics and that I’ve improved in my skills as a writer since writing them, but more that, like every kid coming into fandom, I had to learn how to deal with fandom in general and that, at one point, I was a complete and utter douchecanoe who was judgmental of others and let getting mildly major in one of my fandoms get to my head. I regret my former actions so much and really am ashamed of the person I used to be in fandom, and since I’ve learned and matured into a much better person, I want to distance myself from that person I was. There are some who will know once I post an upcoming fic within the next couple of months, because it’s a rewrite of an old fic I’ve always wanted to rewrite and because it fits a prompt, I get to, but I won’t publicly acknowledge that so…a lot of my old fics can’t get discussed haha. I will say that, of the ones I can acknowledge here on tumblr, there was a fic I wrote for a Halloween exchange event that I loved writing and still imagine scenarios within that universe! It can be found here!

6.    Which character of yours has been your favourite to write?

I think I’ve kind of answered this a couple of times. Rather than favourites, I have characters I find easy to write. KHR overall is a fandom I find easiest to write about, with Gokudera, Enma and Yamamoto really being super easy for me to write within the fandom itself. For K, HOMRA is easiest for me to write about. In Nanbaka, Rock, Samon, Qi, Seitarou and Hajime are the easiest for me to write. In Iruma-kun, Balam and Jazz are the easiest for me to write. For Bungou Stray Dogs, Steinbeck, Kunikida, and Chuuya are the easiest for me to write about. In Servamp, Tsurugi, Sakuya, and Misono are easiest for me to write. In Eyeshield 21, Hiruma, the Kongo twins, Sakuraba and Riku are the easiest for me to write. In Saiyuki, the Sanzo-Ikkou are the easiest for me to write. In Ronin Warriors, Kento and Cye are easiest for me to write. In Kekkaishi, the Night Troops are easiest for me to write. In GetBackers, Ginji and Emishi are easiest for me to write. In Black Cat, it’s Sven. In Karneval, Yogi is the easiest for me to write. In Gangsta., Marco, Yang, Delico, and Alex are the easiest for me to write. In Bleach, it’s the Eleventh Division and Hisagi. In Naruto, it’s the Akatsuki. For Deadman Wonderland, it’s Senji and Minatsuki. In Ouran, it’s Haruhi and Tamaki. In Durarara, it’s Shizuo and Izaya. In Yu Yu Hakusho, it’s Kuwabara, Kurama, and Botan. In Gintama, it’s Gin, Hijikata, Kondo, and Okita. In Mystic Messenger, it’s V and Saeran. In Ikemen Revolution, it’s Kyle, Oliver, Harr, and Sirius. In Blush Blush, it’s Nimh and Cole. In Date Warp, it’s Linds. In Hatoful Boyfriend, it’s nobody really – I get to write about it so rarely that it’s equally hard and easy for all the characters. For The Outsiders, it’s Dally and Darry. For Class of the Titans, it’s Neil, Odie, and Herry. For Ultimate Spider-Man, it’s Danny, Luke, Sam, Flash, and Ben. For Gravity Falls, it’s Stan. For The Mighty Ducks, it’s Portman, Fulton, and Adam. For The Covenant, it’s Tyler. For Jungle Fury, it’s Dom, Fran, and Casey. For Ninja Storm, it’s Cam. For Mystic Force, it’s Chip. For Holes, it’s Zigzag and Twitch.

7.    Which character of yours do you most identify with (if any)?

Again, sticking just with the fandoms I deal with on here. For KHR, it’s Skull, Enma, and Gokudera. For K Project, it’s Bandou and Eric. For Nanbaka, it’s Jyugo. For Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun! it’s Iruma and Elizabetta. For Bungou Stray Dogs, it’s Kunikida, Steinbeck, Poe, Atsushi, and Chuuya. For Servamp, it’s Sakuya and Misono. For Saiyuki, it’s Gojyo. For Eyeshield 21, it’s Ishimaru, Unsui, and Yukimitsu. For Ronin Warriors, it’s Cye. For Kekkaishi, it’s Masamori. For GetBackers, it’s Natsumi. For Black Cat, it’s Eve. For Karneval, it’s Gareki. For Gangsta., it’s Delico. For Bleach, it’s Kira and Orihime. For Naruto, it's Naruto, Gaara, and Rock Lee. For Deadman Wonderland, it’s Ganta. For Ouran, it’s Haruhi. For Durarara, it’s Kadota. For Yu Yu Hakusho, it’s Kuwabara. For Gintama, it’s Shinpachi and Yamazaki. For Mystic Messenger, it’s V and the twins. For Ikemen Revolution, it’s Kyle and Zero. For Blush Blush, it’s Anon. For Date Warp, it’s Rafael. For Hatoful Boyfriend…probably Ryouta? For The Outsiders, Johnny and Ponyboy. For Class of the Titans, Odie. For Ultimate Spider-Man, Ben and Amadeus. For Gravity Falls, Dipper. For The Mighty Ducks, Adam, Fulton, and Goldburg. For The Covenant, Tyler. For Jungle Fury, Casey. For Ninja Storm, Cam. For Mystic Force, Chip and Madison. For Holes, Stanley and Zero.

8.    Which character of yours do you find the hardest to write?

Again, sticking just with the fandoms I deal with on here. For KHR, it’s Mukuro, Reborn, and Shitt P!. For K Project, it’s Nagare. For Nanbaka, it’s Jyugo, Liang, and Upa. For Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun! it’s Asmodeus and Opera. For Bungou Stray Dogs, it’s Dazai and Fyodor. For Servamp, it’s Lawless and Mikuni. For Saiyuki, it’s Lirin and Nii. For Eyeshield 21, it’s Kid and Akaba. For Ronin Warriors, it’s Rowen and Sage. For Kekkaishi, it’s Yoshimori. For GetBackers, it’s Ban and Kazuki. For Black Cat, it’s Train. For Karneval, it’s Gareki. For Gangsta., it’s Worick. For Bleach, it’s Hitsugaya. For Naruto, it's Sasuke. For Deadman Wonderland, it’s Shiro. For Ouran, it’s Kyoya and Mori. For Durarara, it’s Celty and Shinra. For Yu Yu Hakusho, it’s Hiei and Yusuke (in a relationship anyway). For Gintama, it’s Kamui. For Mystic Messenger, it’s Zen. For Ikemen Revolution, it’s Ray. For Blush Blush, it’s Stirling. For Date Warp, it’s Nathaniel. For Hatoful Boyfriend, Shuu. For The Outsiders, Sodapop and Steve. For Class of the Titans, Theresa and Jay. For Ultimate Spider-Man, Peter. For Gravity Falls, Ford. For The Mighty Ducks, Charlie. For The Covenant, Chase. For Jungle Fury, Theo. For Ninja Storm, Shane. For Mystic Force, Vida. For Holes, the Warden.

9. If any, what music/artists do you like to listen to while writing?

Ohh, I think I’ve mentioned this a couple of times on the blog, but I actually do up little playlists for most of my writing. If it’s a fic, the playlist tends to be longer and more personalized to the story itself. But I make them even for headcanon writing, since I pick five at a time I’m feeling, so I make up little hour-long playlists with songs that might be inspirational for the headcanons or speak to the theming of the headcanons.

10. Do you ever put any of your own traits or personality into any of your characters? Which?

Yes. There are parts of me that I add to some characters – mental processes, traits, viewpoints, quirks, habits. I see the potential for these characters to strongly do or think these ways and it makes sense for them. But it’s not just me that I do this with. I’m really good at reading people, figuring them out, because at one point survival for me really did rely on me being able to read people’s moods and anticipate their behaviours. And I honestly love learning about people because people are fascinating. So, all of that combined with my storied life means I’ve gotten to deeply know a wide variety of people and I’ll often write little bits and pieces of those people into characters where again, these parts of them I’m writing into the character make so much sense and feel authentic to the canon character themselves.

11. If you could take one character from your fic and put it with another character in another one of your fics, who would you want to see together?

Okay, but thank you for giving me the chance to write this. I am such a huge fan of crossovers. It’s so frigging fun to take characters from different media and stick them together and I think a lot about various crossovers, along with writing little scenes and headcanons of crossovers that never get seen because, really, there’s not requests for them and they’re not big enough to post as fics. But it’s fun to take wildly different characters and figure out who would get along, who would hate each other, what romances or relationships might come about, who would be those on and off type friends where you’re never sure if they like each other that day or hate each other that day, who are truly neutral towards each other and just don’t really notice each other, how they’d talk and interact with all these different people. Of course, high school and boarding schools make great crossover opportunities. KHR is actually really great to set crossovers in as well, just because a Mafia Family is a great way to add a different group of characters from a whole other media and that gives me the added fun of figuring out flame types for the characters. But I will admit to one of my hugest guilty pleasures…I’m such a hardcore Big Brother fan and that’s my favourite crossovers to imagine. I take whatever character I’m really feeling at the moment for each of my fandoms and I throw them all in as contestants in the Big Brother house. It’s fun to figure out not only who would get evicted first and who would win, but also who plays the best social game, who the comp beasts are, who forms alliances with who and how seriously do they take those alliances, who has the best blowups, who becomes a fan favourite and all those kind of things.

12. Which do you prefer writing most, description, dialogue, or actions?

Easily description, then actions, then dialogue. I’ve always been upfront that I’m never sure of my dialogue, that it’s hard for me to write conversations that feel authentic and natural and fit with the tone of the character’s voice and are worded like they would word things.

13. If you could base one of your fics in a different location than where it is currently, where would you like it to be?

Okay, but if I had my way, every fic and every fandom and every character would be visiting Disney World. Everyone goes to Disney World (props to the Varia for being the quickest to get evicted and banned from all Disney parks forever). Or they’d be in a supernatural land where magic and different creatures exist. Or they’d be in a great big old Victorian mansion, with a blizzard outside, warm crackling fires and Christmas just a night away. Those are normally my three go to’s.

14. Which of your fics would you like to see turned into a movie the most?

Honestly, though you guys haven’t seen the actual story come out yet, it’s The Ever Young. I’ve been planning and playing with it for years, and while I normally have a really hard time visualizing things (most things come in words and sounds, not images), it’s actually one where I can almost see the scenes and the story as an actual episodic anime. There’s arcs, seasons, suspense, great action scenes, romance and hatred, and NO FANSERVICE.

15. Which of your characters do you think you would be the most friendly with?

Now, this one is an interesting question because it’s not who I like the most, which characters I favour and would want to have like me, but the characters I genuinely think would enjoy spending time with me. It took me a bit to think about but the answer I’ve come up, for each fandom, is below:

For Katekyo Hitman Reborn – Yamamoto, Skull, Enma, Tsuna, Chrome, Levi A Than, Lussuria, Spanner, Shoichi, Kusakabe, Basil, Lanchia

For K – Bandou, Shouhei, Fujishima, Dewa, Munakata, Shiro

For Nanbaka – Nico, Momoko, Seitarou, Qi, Kiji

For Welcome to Demon School, Iruma-kun! – Iruma, Jazz, Lied, Elizabetta, Balam, Caim, Goemon

For Bungou Stray Dogs – Kunikida, Kenji, Tanizaki, Higuchi, SakuOda, Ango

For Servamp – Kuro, Misono

For Saiyuki – Gojyo, Hakkai, Yaone, Lirin

For Eyeshield 21 – Musashi, Mamori, Unsui

For Ronin Warriors – Cye, Mia, Rowen

For Kekkaishi – Masamori, Shu, Yukimasa, Tokine

For GetBackers – Ginji, Emishi, Natsumi

For Black Cat – Eve, Rinslet, Jenos, Kyoko

For Karneval – Nai, Yogi, Iva, Akari

For Gangsta. – Delico, Yang, Nina, Dr. Theo, Alex, Galahad

For Bleach – Kira, Momo, Hisagi, Rangiku, Orihime, Uryu

For Naruto – Sakura, Naruto, Hinata, Tenten, Rock Lee

For Deadman Wonderland – Shiro, Ganta, Karako

For Ouran – Honey, Haruhi, Mori, Nekosawa

For Durarara – Anri, Erika, Walker

For Yu Yu Hakusho – Keiko, Yukina

For Gintama – Shinpachi, Kyuubei, Zenzou, Madao, Kondo, Katsura

For Mystic Messenger – Jaehee, Yoosung

For Ikemen Revolution – Kyle, Blanc, Sirius, Luka

For Blush Blush – Nimh, Anon, William

For Date Warp – Linds, Rafael, Janet

For Hatoful Boyfriend – Ryouta

For The Outsiders – Ponyboy, Johnny, Darry

For Class of the Titans – Neil, Herry, Odie, Atlanta

For Ultimate Spider-Man – Ava, Luke, Harry, Flash

For Gravity Falls – Mabel, Stan, Soos

For The Mighty Ducks – Fulton, Averman, Goldburg, Connie

For The Covenant – Tyler, Pogue, Sarah

For Jungle Fury – Fran, Casey

For Ninja Storm – Dustin, Cam

For Mystic Force – Vida, Chip

For Holes – Stanley, Zero

16. Are there any ideas you are currently playing around with that you would like to write sooner or later?

Oh, there’s always a million ideas in my head. I don’t often have chances to write the ideas around, because I’m normally busy with something, so they just float around and never get used. I really do want to explore the pasts of a lot of my favourite characters, I’ve said for years I’ll get around to doing a next Gen full fic for KHR and a full fic werewolf pack AU for K, I have some original story ideas floating around (some paranormal erotica stuff)…like, there’s probably at least 50 different ideas for things I want to write floating around but it’s finding the time and mental energy to do so.

17. Favourite fic that is not written by you?

Impossible. Simply IMPOSSIBLE question. I have been extremely blessed to have found a fandom in KHR that has so many extremely talented or thought-provoking writers in it. In K, there are so many talented people coming up with interesting fics or just really amazing and interesting ideas. The same goes for the majority of my other fandoms (though there are some where I’m pretty sure I’m the only one writing in that fandom) and I admit to having really lucked out in finding fandoms where the pure creativity, passion, and talent the fandom has is astounding.

18. Have you ever written a personal experience into your fic?

Absolutely I have. Comfort fics or even writing traumatic experiences that you identify with into a fic can be incredibly therapeutic. I find it really helps me, in a lot of cases, to process my feelings around experiences when I get to write them out. Or some situations I’ve been in have been so weird and wonderful that they just can’t not be used to make a fic better or more interesting!

19. Who has been your favourite face claim to use?

Most of the icons I use are of characters I write about on the blog! My current icon is an anime version of me I commissioned. During my roleplaying days though, either Lenalee or Ami from Sailor Moon was one I used a lot.

20. Lastly, take your favourite character from any of your fics and tell us 3 things you like about him/her and 3 things you dislike?

Again, I don’t really have any favourites. I’ve been writing a lot of headcanon posts recently to build up a solid queue on the blog after the event’s end, so I’ll just go with the last character I wrote about for all the last three fandoms I wrote for!

Reborn from Katekyo Hitman Reborn – He has style, he’s always true to himself, he genuinely cares about his students…however, he can be overly harsh, he can be hypocritical, and he’s egotistical at times.

Munakata from K Project – he is very true to himself, he’s confident, he always tries his best…however, he’s too inflexible at times, his social skills suck, and he can’t read a room

Mikuni from Servamp – He’s so intelligent, he’s funny, he truly loves his brother…however, he can’t trust people, he’s flighty, and he likes to play with people’s heads

#admin chatter #talking about writing

[ovaryacted]

Awwwe nic, I just saw your rant. I'm so sorry you're going through a rough patch. People truly underestimate how time consuming a nine to five job is. We want you to know that you shouldn't feel any pressure from our side, we'll read whatever you write and whenever you write, even when we have to wait for it. Don't overwork yourself because that'll help no one. Now I do understand all the frustration and dread you're feeling if you want to write but just can't. Trust me, I've been there. I am there. With college and me being a procrastinating little piece of shit, I haven't written anything in ages, even though writing is my truest passion and I wish I could be an author some day. The dread felt when you're stopped from doing things you want to do over an extended period of time is so valid. Now, this little ask of mine can't magically make you a few more hours to spare nor can it make your job any easier, but I hope you at least feel heard. Take your time, write when you have time for it. Even five minutes, just put something in that word document - that's better than nothing. You'll continue later. It'll help with the feeling of depression to at least type something, even if it's just one paragraph. And when it comes to feeling like it's a waste of time, I don't think there's a writer in the world ho hasn't felt that at some point. We see you, and we know how much hard work you put in to give us those yummy fics. Know that your following is standing right behind you and we'll eat up whatever you put out there. As someone who's been writing since I learned how to hold a pencil, I can tell you that the feeling sadly never truly goes away. But it comes less often and becomes easier to deal with. And, If you really need something to keep you going, know that hundreds, if not thousands of people would be really sad to see you go if you decided to give up on the blog. I don't know how much this helped, or even if it helped at all, but the point of the story is that we're here for you, no matter what. Love you pookie, take care!❤️❤️❤️

-🌑

This ask made me emotional in the morning, and I’ve been reading it over and over the past few days. I’ll admit, I’ve been in a rough patch for like a month, I genuinely forget how my mental health can get around January-February, which are relatively rough months for me in general because that’s when my depression spikes the most. I guess it’s a combination of the pre-birthday blues and the existential dread of getting older lmao, but idk it’s always a stressful time for me and it’s been that way since I was 16. My home life is also not the best right now, which just stresses me out more cause now I’m stressed at work and at home thanks to my inconsiderate family. (Eldest daughter things feel me?)

Honestly, I’m really thankful I have a 9-5 job and a good one at that, it gives me financial stability I’ve never had before. It’s also a job I prayed for, in the field I studied and with reputable nice people. I got very lucky, especially with the current economy in the US dealing with hyperinflation and how hard it is to get a job right now I’m very grateful. But it is a busy job, I mean I work with people who are essentially government agents and have ties to the FBI so I have pressure to do well at work. I did underestimate the amount of time I’ll have for myself working a full time job, especially after coming from a shitty part time job I had more time to do things throughout the week. I feel like I took all that free time for granted, and at least when I was in college I had several days off, now I only have like 5-6 hrs after work plus the weekend to myself and the cycle gets exhausting at some point. Usually when I come home, I have the mentality and the creativity to want to write, but lack the energy. Literally the moment I rest on my bed, I just put on Netflix and doze off, or won’t have enough brain power to make cohesive ideas so I end up hating what I write or starting over (which has happened so far). So I have the weekend to relax and write, but now I have to start studying for a big legal exam later on in the year which is my ticket to law school for 2025. I just have a lot going on right now and to prep for (adulthood I guess).

Believe me, I’m trying, and I want to create, I’ve been writing since I was 12 so this is a hobby and a skill I want to build up. I’ve been taking some time out every day to just write stuff out, and so far it’s worked. And with asks, I use the morning and my lunch break to prepare responses and edit them at home to post when I have time. I just want to upload multiple things at a time, and then I get indecisive about what to start, and end up posting nothing lmao. Plus with all the bs going on in the tags and the fandom in general, it’s annoying the hell out of me cause it’s just constant drama. But I appreciate your kind words honey, I always do, they’re encouraging and make me feel better. Adore you, I hope you’re having a good day though and taking care of yourself. ❤️‍🩹

#ovaryacted asks #₊˚⊹ ♡ ─ new moon anon 🌑 #this was so nice omg

[foxilayde]

Danny do you ever feel like your obsession with celebrities get out of hand? :( sometimes it consumes me how much info I try to find on particular celebrity like Oscar or Pedro and I hate how much time I invest in it :( it makes me feel insane

Babe I’m flying across the MF continent to see Oscar for the second time in 5 months. I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words of fanfic about his characters. It’s out of hand, I’d say.

But honestly? I don’t know of any alternative?? I’ve never been able to be normal about anything. There has never been a point in my life where I enjoyed something “the normal amount”.

When I was a kid it was Mary Kate and Ashley Olson 😂. And after that, it was a succession of rock bands whom I followed on concert tours across North America. And since covid it’s been Oscar.

Maybe there is something wrong with me 🤷‍♀️. If there is, it hasn’t been detrimental enough to warrant a change. I feel pretty good about my personal life balance, considering.

To quote Conor Oberst, “it’s not something I would recommend. But it is one way to live.”

And maybe I placate myself with comparisons! Like, “at least I’m not the lady who married the Eiffel Tower! At least I’m not still a devout Mormon!”

Is a perceived lesser-evil true happiness? And what would happiness to someone with my tunnel vision lenses even look like? Other than a succession of fictional fictitious fictions?

When I get down this rabbit hole of thought and self flagellation, I remind myself to find the gratitude in every slice. “I am thankful the fandom has brought these wonderful people into my life”. OR To view myself with detached curiosity. “Isn’t it funny that I’m so entrenched in this specific subculture?”

At the end of the day, you are a human being befitted with the analogue wiring adapted to the African savanna. No matter where you go or what you do or whom you find your pleasure in, you’ll never congruously fit. Not into anything man made. The desire to itch out of your skin will likely follow you along with each passing passion.

Try not to be too harsh on yourself. Our African savanna brains are wired for judgement. Judgement that kept us alive for hundreds of thousands of years. It does no good to turn that judgement in on yourself. Especially if the reason for your obsession is to escape.

It’s like a finger trap. The only way out is for you to be kind to you.

Wishing you all the best 💚

#anon