just saw a tiktok of celeb’s profiles on raya and saw skeet ulrich on there????? this is just fueling my delusion that i have a chance with him and the other 40+ yr old actors i find hot
[dating apps terrify me, i’m not good look for raya]
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
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I do think one really interesting thing about Tim is that he keeps choosing to be become Robin after the previous Robin dies which some people might say is a sign of how commited he is to the Robin mantle even despite him knowing others have died in this role he still chooses to keep going
Not me tho im just thinking about how it probably doesn't help his ego that he's the only Robin besides Dick that hasn't died as Robin yet
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I’ve said this elsewhere, but I think it does bear stating outright:
I absolutely agree with the reading of Tommy’s “MY attention?” as being surprise that he was after Tommy not Eddie…
But there IS another reading of that: that Tommy is surprised that BUCK was trying to get his attention, rather than TOMMY getting Buck’s attention. We don’t see as much of that, of course… but that would also make sense with how ready Tommy was to kiss him immediately after that.
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i do genuinely think an adult, fully-realized kon would be able to defeat superman in a fight. not just saying that bc he's my fav or whatever but because like. ttk is so op. telekinetic power with the range and raw strength to destroy every single gun in LA, and the finesse of control to not destroy anything else? that alone is a huge force to be reckoned with. add kryptonian abilities on top of that and you've got a fucking powerhouse. like um devs? op tbh pls nerf (except don't, because i find that sooooo tasty.)
because to clark, i think this is a good thing! it isn't quite so lonely when he's got a little brother/son/they really can't label it but they're family, who understands the alienation. the burden of having so much power. the fear of what your own hands can do. he sees in kon a kindred spirit, although it also saddens him that kon has to feel this burden too.
but kon?
oh, kon is terrified of himself.
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thinking about another cute thing because im too busy with school and work to draw..
lime right after realizing he has a thing for mochi, stressing out and moping around because "I don't even know what kinda guys she likes..."
and when oscar and coco eventually wring this out of him, oscar straight up rips the rug out from under him by calling mochi over and saying "Hey Mochi, what kind of guys are you into?"
meanwhile lime trying not to obviously lose his shit and show all his cards right there, trying to be cool while stealing glances at mochi while she thinks it over. eventually she goes "I would like...someone sweet."
lime immediately plants his face into his desk, because the only thing he can think is "I DON'T STAND A CHANCE!!!!!" mopes around zoning out the rest of the day being sad about it, thinking along the lines of "She likes sweet guys? So she's into the soft boy type? How the hell am I supposed to have a shot with her?? My whole identity is bullying her and being an ass to everyone else. I guess I could overhaul my whole personality... ugh, but what if she hates that? Why couldn't she be into irritable dumbasses who can't get their shit straight? Of course she wouldn't like that. I guess its fair, she's a sweet girl, she would want someone whose sweet like that too--"
and the whole time his brain is rattled with all this bullshit hes going about the day doing normal lime things. opening doors for her. giving her little snacks. lending her his jacket. helping her pick up her moms groceries. little nonsense that's so normalizes and hes so used to doing them that he doesnt realize thats what she was talking about
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A Thought:
As Emrys, Merlin is a very powerful sorcerer.
However, his utter lack of any formal training means Merlin is not a very good sorcerer.
The magic he does should be theoretically impossible, but he's got enough raw fucking power to just make it work. Infant demigod smashing blocks together and creating a Lego Death Star.
Merlin: *does magic that Should Not Work*
Other sorcerers:
AND THEY ARE RIGHT TO FEEL UPSET
IMAGINE YOU'RE A SORCERER. YOU'VE BEEN PRACTICING YOUR CRAFT, SHOOTING THE SHIT, LAYING LOW, PLOTTING PLANNING.....THEN THIS FARMY BOY TWINK SHOWS UP AND NUKES THE FUCKING PRIESTESS OF THE LAKE OF AVALON
I'D FEEL PISSED TOO
like, bro, you meet him, you're apprehensive of him bc 'shit that's emrys'. the emrys. the dude that's said to be the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth. you meet him. you can feel his magic and like holy shit, what the fuck was that??? you ask him how the fuck he gained so much power by the age of 21????
merlin: you mean....y'all don't also just have magic doing shit when you're a toddler
you, the sorcerer who has had to spend years getting control to fucking heat up a teapot: .........no.......no our magic doesn't do that
goddamn do you wanna just chuck this adult child into the lake and be done with it. better yet, you wish for the sprites to just pick you up and use your body as a sacrifice for entrance into Avalon.
and then, and then
you see how this motherfucker fights against bandits and "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST PUSHING THEM AWAY??? WHERE'S THE SHOWMANSHIP??? THE PIZZAZZ??? HOW MANY SPELLS DO YOU KNOW???"
merlin, who forgot he can freeze time and space and can launch lightning bolts at people: uh....3???
it takes the triple goddess to restrain you from murking the prophesized warlock right then and there.
"NO, NO, FUCK THAT, FUCK THIS, FUCK ALL O' Y'ALL!" you scream as you jump on a ship and move to a place that doesn't have op young adult children who didn't study shit and yet still get an A+
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