#it's just a different dynamic and unfortunately it's one that I haven't figured out how to be comfortable in yet

[isfjmel-phleg]

🫥

#random personal stuff #whining ahead feel free to ignore #after a little over two weeks with my family I guess it was hard today to go back to church here and #be reminded how easy it is to feel utterly disconnected for some reason #I have a small amount of friends whom I do very much appreciate #but otherwise it's like going through life in a glass case #which is probably my fault somehow #anyway I miss going to a smaller church (it got assimilated into this huge one) #and I miss smaller more intimate Bible study groups #there are more people around now whom it's not easy to be real or vocal in front of #(including the lady who once asked if I were one of the then-pregnant women and can't remember my name etc.) #and that's not their fault and they have every right to be there #it's just a different dynamic and unfortunately it's one that I haven't figured out how to be comfortable in yet #feeling like you belong with particular people is just really hard you know? #it has to be earned and proven and mulled over sometimes for years #before it's ever even believable #I got assigned a while back to consider why the whole disconnect thing #still drawing a blank #probably supposed to have an epiphany about what I'm doing wrong #if so can it be shipped a little faster because I don't have time for this nonsense

[yamujiburo]

POKEMON SERIES RANKED (IMO)

I get this question a lot and haven't made an updated list with Journeys

Original Series (S1-S5)

Sun & Moon (S20-S22)

Chronicles (S0)

Diamond and Pearl (S10-S13)

Advanced (S6-S9)

Journeys (S23-S25)

Black & White (S14-S16)

XY (S17-S19)

Original Series (S1-S5)

OS had that first season charm. Very unpolished, still finding its footing but super enjoyable for those reasons

Probably the strongest series comedy-wise

That GORGEOUS 90s anime style

Main character dynamics were REALLY strong

Ash's personality felt much more like a shitty little 10 year old which was entertaining

Dub writing was also the best hands down

Sun & Moon (S20-S22)

Honestly tied for first with OS for me

REALLY fun ensemble cast! They do a fantastic job giving each character enough time for you to get to know and care about

Excellent modern anime style that perfectly fit the vibe of the season and allowed for some of the best character animation of the show's run

Finally figured out how to write Ash like a 10 year old again (but in a kind/sweet 10 year old way as opposed to OS)

Very different from previous series in terms of the formula they'd follow. Doing a school series instead of another "8 badges to championship" plot felt new and fresh!

This series genuinely made me cry the most (MEMORIES IN THE MIST!!!!! LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME)

Chronicles (S0)

Fun concept! It was really nice to see more of the side characters without Ash there. We get to see more of Misty, Tracey, Daisy, Brock, Ritchie, Oak, Delia, Butch, Cassidy, Jessie, James and Meowth!

Stylistically really nice. Just solid drawings all around and it retained the 90s anime style in digital form more successfully than other digitally done series imo

BUTCH AND CASSIDY!!! Team Rocket centric episodes!!! Training Daze!!!!!!!

Idk how possible it would have been (seems like a TON of work) but it made me want one of these in between each season, where we'd follow the characters that Ash had just said goodbye to for the next region.

Diamond and Pearl (S10-S13)

Series I grew up with! Honestly I was kinda a hater as a kid but having watched it back, I love the series

Love that Ash and Dawn were bros. They had a really fun dynamic.

Debatably peak Team Rocket. They had some of the best Team Rocket centric episodes this series.

Contests were really fun and a bit more figured out compared to the Advanced series

Fun, memorable rivals for Ash (Paul and Barry) as well as Dawn (Zoey, Kenny and Jessilina sometimes)

This is unfortunately where I stopped caring about Ash as much. He feels kinda watered down for the next couple series.

Advanced (S6-S9)

Pretty tied up with DP for me

Really fun series! Still had some of that early Pokémon charm

I appreciated that they put Ash in more of a mentor role for May (but he still had a lot to learn himself).

Ash and May constantly butting heads was really fun

May was a very compelling character to me, being very clumsy, kinda lazy, directionless, not really into Pokémon, etc. But then over time, she comes around and finds something she's interested in!

Journeys (S23-S25)

I love the episodic take as well as the way they let the characters jump around from region to region at random

Goh was a GREAT travel companion to Ash. They contrast each other nicely, have moments where they get on each others' nerves but still get along and have a mutual admiration for one another.

It was fun that they made Goh's thing catching every Pokémon (the motto of the entire series) so they could focus on Ash just training and prepping for Worlds.

Amaaaazing style. Took the great parts of classic Pokémon, roundness of SM and blended em together for a really fun look.

Black & White (S14-S16)

I don't think it's that controversial to have BW this low haha

I did enjoy Iris and Cilan but it felt like the writers didn't reaaally know what to do with them? Also this was their first time in a while not having Brock and it shows. I feel like Brock was successful because he was grounded and lower energy compared to the rest of the kids. Having 3 pretty eccentric characters is kind of a lot. No hate to the characters in the slightest, there was just not as much balance.

I think maybe they leaned on Cilan and Iris for more comedic relief because they killed the comedic relief that was Team Rocket this series. I appreciate them trying something new with Jessie, James and Meowth but I don't think it worked very well lol

XY (S17-S19)

I've ranted about this series a lot LOL. I get the appeal of it, but it just wasn't for me. I felt like it was the weakest comedy-wise and took itself a bit too seriously for my taste

My main gripe is that Serena, Clemont and Bonnie all like,,, worship Ash. By doing so, Ash begins to feel like a side character because we're constantly looking at Ash through their eyes. There's so little conflict within the group so their dynamics feel really flat. I think this dynamic could have worked if they leaned waaay more into Ash being a mentor and maybe feeling the pressure of having to be a role model for the people around him.

Team Rocket very much feels like an afterthought in this series. They did in Journeys as well, but at least in Journeys they were doing something silly and also had a handful of episodes dedicated to em.

Outside of that, the episodes weren't super memorable for me

I think it's just frustrating because there was sooooo much potential character-wise

#long post #ranking

[smirkingkitten]

Hello people of this beautiful corner of the internet, hello SAS, hello everyone,

Over the past half-year, I've been immersed in this corner of the internet. I've always been a silent member, but I'd like to change that now. I want to interact with you.

I'm 26 years old, from Germany, and unfortunately, I didn't pay enough attention in my English classes. However, I'm willing to learn, and I appreciate your understanding and corrections of my poor English. Thanks to you, I've already improved my English significantly.

Regrettably, I haven't been giving much thought to the Marvel films until last year when I started watching every Marvel film in chronological order. After some dramatic hair flips, I fell in love with a certain god and then with the most handsome man in the world. How could I not? So, it was practically impossible not to end up on Tumblr.

Now I'm determined to consume every film and other content with Tom Hiddleston in it, but sometimes it's much easier to watch every meme and GIF about a film than to actually find it years after its release.

Do you have any tips for me on where I can watch, for example, 'Only Lovers Left Alive,' 'The Deep Blue Sea,' or 'Midnight in Paris'? And is it possible to watch 'Betrayal' or 'Coriolanus'?

I love fics that feature Tom, Loki, or any of his characters in: get together/love confession, dom/sub dynamics, slow burn, smut, or both in one, enemies-to-lovers, he is a vampire and fics with a happy ending. Most of all, I'm a sucker for Professor Hiddleston. I absolutely adore the age difference and the forbidden aspect. I mean Tom with his long, curly hair, glasses, and a suit; I just can't help myself.

Thanks to many incredible writers among you, I've learned about my sexuality and what I want. I'm not a 'lifeless body in bed', I'm simply a sub, a little bit kinky sub.

Some of them, as well as a few others I appreciate: @fanficshiddles @lokisgoodgirl @gigglingtiggerv2 @shiningloki @lov3nerdstuff @mischief2sarawr @holdmytesseract @wheredafandomat @lokischambermaid @tinchentitri @mochie85 @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @simplyholl

Thank you, girls.

Although I've been here for a while now, I haven't fully figured out Tumblr yet. For example, how do I insert images? Do I need to download them beforehand? Or how can I add a link instead of a plain URL in my description? Also, how do you handle it, when you want to save a fic or later?

Now, let's chat and, most importantly, let's obsess together.

#self inset

[iamprchung]

Just in time for Easter: The Dead Horse that is Biblical X-Files Simile

I need to vehemently preface this post by stating that I'm not an overly religious person. But unfortunately, a rewatch of 'Requiem' once again stirred up my dabbling in theology... Yes, yes, you're about to bear witness to an audacious deployment of simile and metaphor.

You're welcome to keep scrolling. 😁

Behold, the infamous "Last Supper" scene in 'Requiem.' Albeit, we have here only eight out of twelve persons present. However, it's been recognized, that two characters here are placed in the positions held by specific apostles in Leonardo di Vinci's "Last Supper."

Reminder: You're welcome to keep scrolling. 😆

Hey, I didn't start this, I'm just sticking my nose in to renew a haggard subject... 🤔😆 The author, Michelle Bush, apparently explored this in her book Myth-X. And of course, a perusing of Wikipedia led me down the rabbit hole... *See "Themes" in the wiki article.

Do I need to add a spoiler alert here? I'm not sure, so I'm doing it anyway. If you haven't seen 'Requiem' - get caught up! The rest of us are waiting on you. 🤣 (j/k!)

These two characters would be Walter Skinner, in the position of Simon Peter (St. Peter, Cephas) and Dana Scully, in the position of Judas - right there I'm like "meh, what?" and it's a real stretch.

However, the simile between Skinner and Simon Peter (Saint Peter, Cephas) is interesting.

The comparisons highlight how the relationships between Simon Peter and Jesus and between Walter Skinner and Fox Mulder share themes of authority, support, challenge, redemption, and moral guidance, despite belonging to vastly different narratives and contexts.

Authority Figures: Both Simon Peter and Walter Skinner hold positions of authority in their respective contexts. Simon Peter is one of the twelve apostles of Jesus, chosen as a leader among them. Walter Skinner is an FBI Assistant Director, overseeing Mulder's work in The X-Files.

Supportive Figures: Both Peter and Skinner often provide support and guidance to the central character, Mulder. Peter supports Jesus throughout his ministry, serving as a confidant and disciple. Similarly, Skinner supports Mulder's investigations, often backing him up against bureaucratic obstacles.

Challenges and Tests: Both relationships face challenges and tests. Peter's faith in Jesus is tested multiple times, notably when he denies knowing Jesus three times before his crucifixion. Skinner faces professional and personal challenges in supporting Mulder's unorthodox investigations, often clashing with higher authorities in the FBI.

Complex Dynamics: The dynamics between Peter and Jesus and between Skinner and Mulder are multifaceted. There are moments of trust, conflict, loyalty, and doubt in both relationships, reflecting the complexities of human interaction.

Redemption Themes: Both Peter and Skinner experience arcs of redemption or growth. Peter, despite his initial denial of Jesus, becomes a central figure in the early Christian church, demonstrating repentance and devotion. Skinner evolves from a skeptical and authoritarian figure to someone who trusts and supports Mulder's pursuit of the truth, showing growth in his character over the series.

Moral Guidance: Both Peter and Skinner offer moral guidance to the central character. Peter advises Jesus and the other disciples on matters of faith and conduct. Skinner provides counsel to Mulder, often cautioning him against recklessness and urging him to consider the consequences of his actions.

Now this business about Scully being compared to, of all biblical figures, Judas!

While drawing parallels between Judas and Scully might seem unconventional at first glance, exploring the complexities of their relationships and character dynamics can offer fresh insights into their respective narratives and themes.

Betrayal: Judas is infamous for his act of betrayal, which involved identifying Jesus to the religious authorities with a kiss, leading to Jesus's arrest and subsequent crucifixion.

Critical: Judas is sometimes portrayed as critical or skeptical of Jesus's actions or teachings. In the Gospel of John, for example, Judas questions Jesus's decision to allow a woman to anoint him with expensive perfume.

Complexity: Like many biblical figures, Judas is a complex character. His motivations and actions are subject to interpretation and debate among scholars and theologians. Some argue that his betrayal was part of God's plan for salvation, while others view it as a result of his own moral failings.

The conclusion drawn from the analysis of "Requiem" and the comparisons between the characters is that the episode explores themes of sacrifice, betrayal, and the consequences of individual actions within the context of The X-Files narrative.

Overall, "Requiem" and the comparisons drawn between characters such as Scully, Mulder, and Skinner offer insights into the moral dilemmas, sacrifices, and consequences inherent in the pursuit of truth and the exploration of existential themes within The X-Files universe.

But did I really need to go into any of that? We all already knew this, but maybe just didn't see the not so subtle imagery and allusion.

#xfiles #the xfiles #XF Requiem #XFiles Biblical Simile #Dead Horse Subject Being Between Relentlessly #walter skinner #dana scully #fox mulder #the last supper

[ikemenomegas]

Any thoughts to shake loose on any of your Naruto guys, Io? I like your mun-name!! 💕

From the notebook

Loose leaf ideas:

I'm so sorry, I have no idea what a mun-name is but thank you anyways 😅. Also sorry it's taken so long, I was trying to do the Make a Wish prompts, which I've finally gotten mostly bullet pointed out. Lucky thing because I all but finished one of the last two and then lost it due to my own stupidity... so I've been sadly trying to rewrite it /sigh. I decided to finally shake free those ideas in the mean time, since I haven't posted any writing in a while

Yamato (Tenzo, but this name is for private use)

Because he was raised in Root, he mostly emotes via micro expressions so his Alpha has learned to be really good at reading those looks. His Alpha can literally stare at his face for hours while they talk. Yamato stares right back. Please ask for a booth if you go to a restaurant with him. Everyone thinks you're making bedroom eyes at each other when you're figuring out your next week's meal prep. Actual bedroom eyes are near lethal levels.

He's a pretty tall guy so when you first started spending time at his place, all the cups and plates and things are also really high up. He barely used any of his lower cupboards. When you first move in together, he asks you where all of your stuff is and you think he's joking until you realize he genuinely doesn't check any of those cabinets or drawers that he doesn't use...

All of his furniture is handmade, as in through the wood style. It's all very functional, lots of squares, but elegant. If want different shapes he's really willing and eager to learn how intricate he can get with his jutsu. He's got a remarkably artistic streak, despite his serious demeanor. You'll never have to buy a new bookshelf again, he'll just make them.

Yamato likes quality time and gifts as his receiving love languages. He works really hard for the village and having someone focused on him and appreciative of his hard work and attentive to his needs is key to being a good partner for him

You can't go wrong if you show your appreciation by making him things that he likes, ie a craft, homemade item, or really involved food. He's also not opposed to an evening of pampering where he has your full undivided attention after a day spent sight seeing.

Gaara

He doesn't make the first move in a relationship, which leaves him in a fun lil' stalemate for a while with his eventual mate, because you can't make moves on the Kazekage and he's thinking "I'm the Kazekage, it would be an unfair power dynamic to tell them I think about them every time I write poetry lately..." On a trip back to Suna, Temari takes one look at him and you and then scolds Kankuro because "I can't be the one to manage both kinds of diplomatic relations. Please do something to make my life a little easier." Kankuro then attempts to organize scenarios for you and Gaara to meet. These go poorly in the way of all comedic anime interludes but do result in the two of you bonding more closely.

Gaara was raised to be the leader of a military nation, but he winds down by engaging in more traditional artistic pursuits. All three of the siblings actually have a talent in at least one area of the more refined arts. Gaara is very accomplished at calligraphy, and I'm not kidding about the poetry, he really does compose different works and a lot of them are very good. He even worked hard at some point during his courtship to create a public stone garden in the village which he sometimes alters during festivals so it has different designs.

He is very responsible when it comes to Kazekage duties. He's also been performing them since before he turned 15, and has almost no penchant for mischief. However, he can be easily coaxed away from his office in the name of training his children/students, where he can be further tricked into simply enjoying himself. He's actually a really patient, insightful teacher.

He has an unfortunate habit, only slightly curbed by age, of being willing to drag everyone into a goal he decides is worthwhile. While he mostly used credible threats to get what he wanted as a child, he's since become very adept at manipulation. Mostly, he's genuine and persistent, but he also knows how to get other people to want to follow him. This includes knowing the exact Look to give his mate whenever he wants something.

I think you could easily write him as demiromantic/aromantic. He isn't romantically attracted to anyone right away, and if he does develop those feelings they aren't all-consuming, but there are certain people he can see himself partnering with for the rest of his life, and certain triggers for kicking those feelings off with his alpha.

Nagato

The more I research him, the more it is clear his canon outcome is the bad-end version of the shonen trio trope. Yahiko and Konan were in love with one another, and Nagato was the one who loved them both enough to follow them to the ends of the earth. Nothing in any world was ever going to deter him from that, so his Alpha needs to be pointed in the same direction, ideally devoted to Yahiko and his original Akatsuki as well.

Nagato is the one who guides his Alpha in believing in the ideals of Akatsuki. Before the original trio falls apart, this is done without any ultimatum or ulterior motive. Nagato genuinely believes in the dream Yahiko has, and felt very motivated to bring that hope to his Alpha. It was only afterwards that he truly started to fall in love with them, although that was the original spark.

He likes to read, although he seldom has the time or opportunity to do so. Jiraiya's taught all of the Ame orphans to read and write. He truly enjoys ready philosophical treatises and dialogues. He is a fan of fiction but very slow when reading these because he prefers to experience the world himself first hand, interacting with people and places. He once dreamed of traveling throughout Amegakure and the surrounding nations as a kind of pilgrim.

Nagato nearly died after he fought Hanzo for the first time, not because of his injuries, but because chakra depletion left him unable to sense his Alpha. Believing them dead while he was near delirious, he himself nearly died from the grief of losing Yahiko, and them on top of this loss, despite Yahiko's final wish.

In a version of the world where his Alpha does not survive Obito's slaughter of the original Akatsuki members, Nagato recovers their body and turns it into the Preta Path of Pain, appropriate given the path's callback to possessiveness and desire, and representation of the Hungry Ghost Realm. In the version where his Alpha survives, Nagato becomes very possessive over them, only willing to let them take missions for the Akatsuki alongside Konan, alone, or preferably not at all as you three nurse your grief within Amegakure.

Shisui

You know I love those Uchiha men. They just have a vibe... Shisui in particular. His appearances never make me think first of his death, but of his kindness and his protectiveness over the people he cares for; he dies smiling. Unfortunately, Shisui's path really only works in a non-massacre scenario, since he is approximately sixteen when he dies, which is too young for him to have a mating bond, although I do HC him as considering courting someone at the time the coup starts to take over his life. The with-massacre scenario is one in which Itachi is able to get Shisui out of the village, possibly that he secretly survives the fall thanks to his summons.

Shisui's parents were either not ninjas, or are individuals who have had to retire for the corp for some reason. What we know about him says he was the family breadwinner after he was made a jounin, which leads me to lean towards non-ninja parents. This is particularly interesting for Uchiha clan members, since we don't get to see what the civilian members of clan families do in the Naruto world and most assume the Uchiha clan is shinobi-dominated. It's doubly intriguing when we also know the famous Kagami Uchiha was his ancestor (likely grandfather > great grandfather if we base off other known generations). Since we don't have canon confirmation of this stuff, I guess it counts as a HC?

Given the above, he's the most likely of the Uchiha on my list to willingly and happily take on a civilian Alpha. While I haven't totally fleshed out the background for this pairing, I have toyed around with the idea of an acid-tongued relative of someone from the Daimyo's court whom Shisui met on a mission catching his attention. This oc is a bit of a tsundere with an infamous temper who only Shisui with his notable empathetic and pleasant demeanor is immune to. They become one of the Land of Fire ambassadors and Shisui travels with them on a sort of long-term assignment before they eventually settle together in the village.

The reason they settle in the village is that Shisui decides he wants to have kids and knows that the Uchiha will never risk the sharingan passing into the control of another family or political body. His alpha has to sign a bunch of paperwork relinquishing their ability to inherit anything that might give their family power over their and Shisui's children, but enjoys arguing enough that they remain an ambassador even after settling in Konoha so they can wipe the floor with anyone who has anything to say about Shisui being the reason for their departure.

In the survive-the-fall scenario, Shisui remains blind, retires from being a ninja, and lives with his Alpha in a civilian city, where they help hide his identity and spoil him as much as he will allow. There's potential in this scenario for a path which probably fixes Sasuke btw. There's a lot of options here.

Sai

He intentionally emotes more than Yamato, however while Yamato mostly keeps his facial expressions hidden, his reactions to his Alpha are almost always honest. Sai explicitly cultivates his ability to make facial expressions because he was trying to fit in with normal people, throw them off guard, and do his job as a spy better. This makes it more difficult for his Alpha to tell whether Sai is actually showing that he likes something or not. It takes a long time to figure it out. Eventually, his reactions naturally start to correspond with his emotions around family and friends so it's easier on everyone.

His Alpha thinks that Sai really doesn't like them at the beginning. Although he doesn't necessarily understand why, he picks up on this very quickly and tries to fix the situation throughout the next few months, to varying degrees of success. Eventually, he decides to show you how he feels by painting a portrait of you as he sees you. It's exactly as intimate as you'd think it would be. For better or worse, Sai eventually has to come out and say he can't come up with any courting gift more genuine than the portrait to show you how he feels about you personally, which will tip his Alpha off that he is interested in them.

Because he has difficulties showing his emotions, and also in understanding the nuances behind others' reactions, he likes straightforward methods of communication. He trusts his Alpha implicitly and is incredibly perceptive so he is able to read their responses to him. He enjoys words of affirmation the most and appreciates when his Alpha takes the time to talk through things with him. He also likes physical contact, craves it even, but can quickly become overstimulated depending on the situation. He genuinely wants people to like him and to have sincere connections with the people he meets by acting like himself. Although Sai works hard to "earn" his place among the other people in his generation, it takes him a long time to see that everyone has already accepted him, and to understand that relationships take time and hard work.

For many years, he believes he physically can't have children because Root made all of its operatives starting about 5 years before Sai joined infertile. This insights conflicting feelings in him. On the one hand he never has to worry about accidentally becoming pregnant, which is very nice when he starts navigating his physical desires with his mate. On the other hand, he will never have the option and that hurts, because so much was taken from him in the way of choice and this is another one of those things. The procedure may be reversible in some members because I can see Root forcing long-term operatives to have families with their targets to get closer to them, or being gross enough to try and breed operatives, but Sai doesn't know this.

He likes swimming. He has a favorite swimming spot on the Konoha river. It's the kind of activity that sincerely has no purpose, and he finds a serenity in it, in a similar way that lots of people find a zone of focus when running.

#captain yamato #gaara #uzumaki nagato #uchiha shisui #sai #omega!yamato #omega!gaara #omega!nagato #omega!shisui #omega!sai #alpha!reader #naruto #headcanons #omegaverse #ask answered #from the notebook #io.omegas

[idololivine]

Thoughts on Olivine and his relationships with the other clan? Shipping or platonic wise?

inch resting :3c lemme think

Aster: We don't see them interacting much (I think? there's a lot of events I haven't seen) but they seem to get along well. In Silver Miracle Aster drags Olivine away from the creamy hot pot to a different one, so they're on good enough terms for that to happen. Friendly but nothing special seems to be the vibe.

Morvay: I absolutely think they're BFFs. There's something very sweet about a priest and an incubus being the best of friends, and honestly they're about the same level of horny. They go to 'medicinal herb' (aphrodisiac) shops together and probably swap book recommendations.

Ship-wise: definitely friendship only and zero romance. I think they're prooobably not sexually compatible, unless it's a threesome and they're sandwiching one top between them. They both crave cock in them too much.

Yakumo: They're very very sweet and uncomplicated (or, well, they were uncomplicated until CoD. let's ignore that for a sec.) Olivine's gentle demeanour gets on very well with Yakumo's nervousness. Their dynamic is such that they don't challenge each other or push each other out of their respective comfort zones, and sometimes, that's exactly what you need in a relationship.

CoD complicates this. They both had protective/self-sacrificial streaks to begin with, and now they both feel guilty about what went down with the cult. Let's be honest, the game probably won't touch on this, but there really should be some complicated emotions between them.

Ship-wise: they're not the whirlwind romance Hallmark movie type, but they're the cute domestic type where they go shopping and then make dinner together. Also the sex is fantastic because Yakumo can be overwhelming and Olivine loves being overwhelmed.

Edmond: They're friendly, but earlier on in the event timeline, I also got the sense that out of all the clan members, Edmond is the one that places the most importance on Olivine's priesthood. That's a point of conflict, because Olivine's whole deal is learning to be An Actual Person outside of his job. As long as Edmond sees him as Father Olivine The Priest and not just Olivine, there's going to be some amount of distance between them.

I think they must have figured this out offscreen at some point, because in CoD Edmond drops the 'Father' title and just calls Olivine by name. So there's an unspecified stretch of time where they have the awkwardness I talk about above, but where we currently are in the event timeline, I think they're good friends. There's interesting places to explore in regards to how they both feel bound by duty and both (used to) struggle with feeling ashamed for having sexual desires.

Ship-wise: I've talked about olimond a lot these past few days. I still love the idea of them having the most chaste regency romance slowburn. Sexually, Edmond might be the only man Olivine will be a Dom(ish) top for, but Eiden has to get them started because Olivine doesn't know what to make of Edmond's CNC thing.

Quincy: Also very uncomplicated. Quincy likes that he's quiet and polite, and Olivine just generally likes people. They simply get along well.

Ship-wise: I'll be honest, I don't find romantic quinoli to be that much better than other romantic Olivine/clan member ships, at least when it comes to canon and canon-adjacent settings. They're sweet, but there's not a huge amount of depth to their dynamic. AUs are different because you can change up their circumstances to add that depth; AU romantic quinoli has the capacity to be super good. See: Pages and Priests by Zerenovation.

Regardless of whether they're romantically involved, the sex is really hot. Quincy is very straightforwardly, physically dominant and Olivine would love being manhandled. If you've ever peeped my ao3 profile you'll know I'm unfortunately an omegaverse enjoyer and these two would be the quintessential alpha/omega pair. (Quincy putting Olivine in a mating press... now there's a thought.)

Kuya: Oh Boy. tl;dr - the most complicated Olivine-clan relationship by far, which makes it very interesting.

Here's the kuyoli tag on my blog. I think requiodile says it better than I can, but to paraphrase my favourite parts: they're uniquely positioned to challenge one another in ways that they just don't get from anyone else.

They both have a thing about being seen for their station (priest/powerful yokai) before they're seen for themselves, and they both don't really care about each other's station. Kuya doesn't give a shit about the church or its priests. Olivine respects other cultures and respects that Kuya is held in high regard among the yokai, but ultimately, Kuya is just another one of God's creatures. We see all the way back in Kuya's introduction chapter that Olivine doesn't seem intimidated by him, just kind of annoyed.

There's a few angles their dynamic could take, depending on circumstance.

Kuya intentionally tries to piss off Olivine just to see how much Olivine is willing to take. Olivine is very accomodating, and knowing that Kuya is trying to get a reaction means he would try to stay calm, but even he has his limits.

Kuya, on account of being old as balls and a yokai, has a sense of morality that can seem incomprehensible and callous to humans. Olivine might try for something along the lines of "I know there's cultural differences, but I still find your actions unacceptable", which Kuya would hate.

In either case: we'd get Olivine being genuinely angry. Not just "I was worried for your safety" angry, but genuine "you are such an asshole and I can't do anything about it" angry. I think it'd be neat to see a new side of him. NuCa events being NuCa events, they'd resolve the conflict soon enough, but they're never going to be buddy-buddy. The potential Kuya-Olivine dynamic of "we respect each other but don't like each other" is still a very unique one for Olivine.

If you just wanted PWP, Kuya is absolutely capable of straight up bullying Olivine so hard that he gets flustered and submits before there's even anything for him to be mad about. They're very sexually compatible, being the most sadistic top and the neediest masochist bottom. I think Kuya would find it a fascinating challenge to have a sub that'll take anything he can give and still beg for more.

Garu and Karu: I really don't know what to make of their relationship. Olivine comments in Forest Carnival that he can't help but want to watch over Garu and Karu, so it's... kind of a parental vibe? But that's a really fucking weird vibe to have when they're all having sex with the same guy. I dunno. I'm unsure of what to make of Garu and Karu in general, and given what I know of their writing in events and intimacy rooms, I don't think the devs know what to make of them either.

Blade: I think they're cute! Olivine is a master of social cues and Blade doesn't know what a social cue is. They'd have a lot to learn from each other. I'm going to plug another Zerenovation fic here.

Much like Kuya, Blade also doesn't especially care that Olivine's a priest, but it comes from a place of not knowing what a priest is and not from antagonism. I think that'd be somewhat strange but also nice for Olivine.

Dante: I find it hard to get a read on how Dante generally interacts with the other clan members. Dante and Olivine interact in Festive Glimmer, but miraheze doesn't have the transcript for me to remind myself of how that went. I think they'd be polite and friendly, but not especially close. They might have something to explore in terms of Dante also being very defined by his duty - probably not the sort of thing that'll ever be touched on in canon, but could be interesting in fic.

Ship-wise: I think it'd be funny to see how Dante tries to figure out topping Olivine. He's so used to dealing with Eiden's bratting, and Olivine is... distinctly not a brat. Romantically, there's currently not enough depth in canon for me to be interested, but if a fic existed I'd give it a shot.

Rei: We really haven't seen enough of Rei at all for me to get any sort of read on him. Olivine might have something to say about Rei chipping fragments off the water elemental gemstone?

Ship-wise: Rei might be the only person who can make Olivine a sub top. Like, pin down or tie up Olivine and ride him kind of thing. But again, I don't really know enough about Rei to be confident yet.

#my posts #nu carnival #nu carnival olivine #I'm not tagging the entire cast. that's too many tags #asks #anonymous

[shade-of-sun]

From the depths of my mind came forth a ship I hadn't thought about in years. Curiosity overtook me and I was suddenly gripped in the throes of Ao3, desperately reading through fanfic and switching back and forth to Tumblr for fanart to reblog – all while I crafted a playlist with every fic I read.

Now I will say, the few nods to the ship is in the title, referencing a very good fanfic series and very loosely referencing the very popular seasons!au in the fandom, really couldn't help myself with that both of these.

(For the four souls that liked my playlist when I first put it out, I hope you like Hijack.)

Let's get started! :D

• Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron

"Headin' out into the unknown,

Wayfairin' strangers and all kinds of danger,

Please don't say I'm going alone,

To the ends of the earth would you follow me?"

This an adventuring song and just hits different. I feel like these two would just go off on a whim on a crazy adventure while the other tags along cause what's life without a bit of fun? It's also find it sweet that maybe just maybe one of them would ask if they could come along. Though it would probably come off like "You're stuck with me now."

Either one of them would most definitely use that phrase.

Of course, when I listen to this song now, I think about Of the Northmost Winds and Skies by xxiiyu. Go read this fanfic if you haven't, it's a wonderful slow burn with a bunch of adventure, magic and pinning for our pairing. I'm going through my second reread of the fanfic due to my enjoyment of it, definitely one of my favorites.

Fic Recs: Forget-Me-Not by UmbrellaMartialGod, Of Tender Years by zoom, Wooed by toopliss_chewtoy

The Fold – Wickerbird

Now, not every song needs to spawn a mini character study so I picked this song mostly for the vibe. The nature imagery is giving "running through a dark forest and feeling nature all around, the co-existence of people, nature and something more magical. I think of a more magical Berk, leaning further into their superstitions and folklore. I'm thinking of a BBC Merlin-esq take on magic, with it being ingrained in the world and some being born with it.

Fics Recs : breath by AnguishofMyLove, Son of a Witch by twiafom, Between Blurred Lines by ThatAwkwardFaeNerd

Black Moss – Johanna Warren

I think about this song constantly. It's the vibe of the song!!! (The lyrics are kinda morbid, but it is they vibe they give off.) It's hard to find the words to type, but I just think these lyrics apply to both Jack and Hiccup. And this song always has me putting the pairing with Jackson Overland who then turns into Jack Frost, for maximum angst.

"And you've been watching me,

You say I emanate some strange magnetic power,

But don't be drawn to me, I maybe be here today

But soon black moss will cover over my dead body."

To potential to write so many dynamics that fit with this! To explore how Hiccup and Jack interact with each other with either Jack knowing Hiccup after becoming Jack Frost or with Hiccup seeing so much of his old friend Jackson Overland with in Jack Frost and trying to figure him out.

"You've been a lot of places,

left me forgotten by your side.

Maybe the feeling's baseless,

But something in me still stirs when I look in your eyes,

'Cause you've been kind to me,

I never quite believed you when you said its over,"

Jack wondering why Hiccup looks at him differently, with something in his eyes that Jack can't put a name to. It makes his heart ache cause Hiccup looks like he needs an answer for something Jack doesn't know how to answer. Something is there, just below the surface of what's between them, if only he could figure it out.

This song, for me, has a lot of potential to have so much good angst. Unfortunately I can not bring myself to write said angst, so I only have my thoughts.

I must mention the series Heart of a Dragon's Soul by SilverlySilence. The fic is also a slowburn that builds on Jack's appearance in Berk, stripped of his magic but still very in-tune with the mystical side of things and he eventually becomes Berk's Druid all while becoming friends with the gang and falling in love with Hiccup along the way on this very wild and tense adventure. Slow, warm and sweet like a cup of hot coco is reading Soul of a Druid.

I would love to read it again, if my heart can take it.

Bigger Than The Whole Sky - Taylor Swift

The lyrics, oh my god, the lyrics for this song. This song ruins me every time. Every time. Alright so this is kinda cheating cause this song also makes me think of Heart of a Dragon when I listen, but hear me out. I don't really know what more to say than read the fanfic and then listen to this song and try not to cry about it, cause that's what's happening to me right now.

"Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye,

You were bigger than the whole sky

You were more than just a short time

And I've got a lot to pine about,

I've got lot to live without,

I'm never gonna meet

What could've been, would've been,

What should've been you."

I'm never getting over this. This is for every fic that has Jack going back in time with bond with Hiccup and the gang, getting friends, getting to see dragons and having people see him only to then get tossed back in his own time left with the sinking feeling of never seeing Hiccup or his new friends again. (Then he finds a way back or Hiccup finds him in the future and they live happily ever after!!)

((Bonus if Jack was sent back while he and Hiccup were find out about the thing between them or had just confessed their feelings for each other.))

Okay little blurb aside - I decided to put it at the end of this playlist cause it starts the journey all over again when Hello My Old Heart starts to play, and I think its fitting and it pulls at my heartstrings.

On a happier note, I'd like to think, they'll meet again. That's the wonders of fanfiction, you get to make up new beginnings and endings for your favorite blorbos.

And I think about these two a bit too much to be healthy, but I love them.

Anyways, thanks for the read and if you happen to listen to this playlist, I hope you enjoy it. Keep on creating and happy writing!!

#hijack #jackycup? #jackycup #frostcup #rotg #httyd #spotfiy #sorry for any typos ive been working on this for a long time #and i feel like i missed a few things #ill fix them later #hope all the fic links work #ENJOY #Spotify

[lizhly-writes]

I'M SO CURIOUS ABOUT HUA SHUANGMEI. IS SHE RELATED TO WU YOUXUAN. I WANNA KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HER!!! AND HIM!!!

Right! So! Some basic stuff, I guess!

Hua Shuangmei is one of Chen Lihua's many, many possible suitors. She is an actress that has less industry experience than Chen Lihua, but significantly more luck -- her roles are better, and she's got a decent following doing streaming.

She's meant to fit into the 'cute' industry archetype. She's sweet, bubbly, naive, and Chen Lihua spends a significant portion of her time trying to figure out if Hua Shuangmei is fantastic at the fake white lotus game, or if she's just genuinely like that, not that the og novel shows this thought process (aside: there are some significant differences in how Chen Lihua is portrayed in the og novel vs how she actually is).

In regards to Wu Youxuan: Yang Haoran has mistaken him for a triad boss love interest of Chen Lihua's. In reality, Wu Youxuan is a perfectly nice and polite minor character whose name was maybe mentioned once or twice, and then never again. He has probably thought of Chen Lihua idly in passing, but that's pretty much it.

...Also, yeah, he's a member of the triads.

Unfortunately, most of the writing that's gone into him is his dynamic with Yang Haoran; I haven't done a lot of working out of his actual background. My initial concept was that he was in fact the boss's right hand, which I'm not sure I'll stick with, so we'll just say he's highly ranked.

#asks #anon #wu youxuan #hua shuangmei

[the-ultimate-seamstresss]

RE: Bugsnax AU, I think you could make some rough equivalents out of numerous DR characters and grumpuses. In some cases, you can easily imagine similar characters taking the parts, but in others? I think it'd just be fun to see these different personalities filling that kind of role. So with that in mind, I'd say:

Elizabert = Komaru. Not just because she 'bites off more than she can chew' sometimes, but really because...

Eggabell = Toko. The sort of "angrily ordering you to take care of yourself" mentality just fits... and ofc, Tokomaru = Win.

Filbo = This one was a struggle for me. I ultimately felt that Kaito offers a fun combination of self-declared "best friend" and relative ineptitude to fill the role, and it'd be neat to see how his outwardly confident personality contrasts with someone like Filbo.

Gramble = Gonta. Of course. A pure bug-loving soul.

Cromdo = Kokichi. I think this would be hilarious — Kokichi as a grifting salesman-type.

Beffica = Kotoko? Hiyoko? Either could work, albeit with slightly different spins on the role. If we want to lean into her conflict with Cromdo, then Hiyoko is a better option.

Shelda = Angie. They both love providing phony-ass wisdom from on high.

Snorpy = On the one hand, Kazuichi is smart and seems more likely to believe utterly insane conspiracies. But on the other hand, it'd be really funny to see Chihiro be the one who believes in the Illuminati or whatever. They're definitely smart, and this opens up the chance for his partner to be...

Chandlo = Mondo. Liftin' your crib, dawg.

Floofty = Matsuda seems like a really easy pick for someone who is both very intelligent AND deeply misguided as well as insulting towards others, but... nah, I think it's more fun to make this Izuru. I think the acerbic "I'm better than you" attitude and Kamukura's deadpan delivery combined with literally insane ideas would be a delightful gold mine. :)

This leaves me with Triffany and Wambus. And I'm... at a loss on those two, frankly. Any ideas?

I was thinking about doing this as well, just been at a loss for who would be who. I do like a lot of suggestions you got there!! Unfortunately I haven't played nor know anything about Ultra Despair Girls so I'll have to replace some characters. But I think I'll keep a majority of these suggestions, like Hiyoko and Kokichi. That's a very interesting dynamic!

As for Wambus and Triffany,, hmm,,, I was thinking maybe Sakura and Hina? And maybe replacing Gonta with Gundham(or maybe not I'll put more thought into it). I just thought the dynamic between Sakura and Gundham would be interesting but I may change my mind

And I'm struggling to decide whether I should include the Reporter into the au. And if so, who should it be? I was thinking maybe Shuichi but, as much as I dislike him, Hajime would be interesting.

But as for Eggabell and Lizbert,, since I don't know a lot about Komaru and Toko, I'll have to replace them. That is the hardest decision that I just can't figure out. Let me know what you guys think! Any suggestions??

(btw If anyone wants to draw the Grumpuses from this au, feel free but please credit -<3)

#danganronpa au #bugsnax #bugsnax au #danganronpa

[risu5waffles]

If Roppongi Is Six Trees, What's the Word for TEN Fires?

Here we are again, something, something pleasure.

We played these on stream and i just fell in love wiv them. The concept is just so good. Little dioramas clearly conveying the feel of the different story mode stages? Like, that's inspired. And it largely works. There're a few bits here and there where they could have tightened and polished, but it totally works, and i'm surprised it took this long for me to stumble across someone who did it and did it well.

The concept here is cute and funny, and it's another one where i found myself thinking "why haven't i seen someone try something like this sooner"? The execution leaves a little to be desired, tho'. i feel like the course takes you away from the scoreboard to soon and for too long, so you kinda lose that little extra spice that sells you on the play. Still, the race is a solid one, not top-tier, but definitely good and fun. Kuro_96_33 did another really good level that i may take a look at in the future, but that @soupum has covered on his channel, where they go through the basics of level design and how connectors work, wiv a little bit of simple logic (LBP1-era) set-up for good measure (that area's unfortunately broken, but you can leave the level after the basics have been covered). It's really good advice for new creators, and presented clearly (bilingually, no less!), and not in any kind of jerky way. i really enjoyed that one.

Someone on the subreddit asked "hey, how do i get the Simon Says pin", and someone else rec'ed this level, and i thought "hey, i don't have the Simon Says pin either, and now i do, and you could too. i should play wiv state sensors more. i feel like you could get up to all kinds of shenanigans. Maybe next level.

It's a level about K-trucks. i like K-trucks. i have fond memories of riding home from bbq's when we'd visit honeybunny's folks down in Amami. Everyone drunk as hell and piled in the truck bed. i've also got a pretty bad story that didn't directly involve me, but hurt some folx i care a lot about, so maybe i should shut my mouth before i go and make myself sad. Still love k-trucks tho', and this level's a fun little race, so i can't complain about that.

We talked about this on Friday. It's still very much what it is. This particular footage was from before i figured out you could get that score bubble sign, unfortunately, but i was too busy putting out fires to go and swap the videos. Such is life, sometimes.

i really loved this level. Some of the bits were actually kind of tricky, and i was kind of proud of myself that i got them figured out. i feel like it's pretty rare anymore to see these kinds of puzzles; working both the brainmeats, but also actually physically manipulating things. It was super cool to run into this one.

This one was alright enough, i guess? Pretty standard post-MGS DLC kill everything wiv the paintinator platformer. It's fine. Not particularly inspired, but fine. It is a shame it's broken the way it is. The level might not have been top of the pops, but i was having a good enough time wiv it. Just LBP1 things, i guess.

This one's actually surprisingly good. Solid, robust platformer, nicely presented. The enemies are a bit of a mixed bag, but i think that's fairly par for the course for an LBP1 level. It could be a bit tough to make things act wiv dynamism. Not impossible, but i feel like it was a limited palette for the types of enemies you could work in. Still, just looking at them from an objects standpoint, they're nice enough, and that dragon-y thing at the end was pretty cool.

---------------------------------------------------

So that's the ten for this go about. If you missed the last post, i have to write a term paper about why i'm trans, and why i totes need this fucking on-paper diagnosis, and it can't be 5000 words of "because immigration fucked me and won't update my paperwork the way they're supposed to." Actually, i don't know how long it's supposed to be; the nurse didn't specify. She just said "from childhood," and i wanna be, like, "bitch, i am 45 fucking years old. 'From childhood' covers a goddamned lot of goddamned ground by this point." i may be experiencing a little stress.

#littlebigplanet #little big planet #lbp #lbp1 #lbp2 #lbp3 #LittleBite-sizedArchive #LBsA #just a tired little trans lass #Youtube

[bengiyo]

Happy Ending Romance Eps 7 & 8 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Unfortunately, I lost the first version of this post after episode 7 ended. I'll do a quick scroll through that episode and rebuild some of my thoughts, but it's a loss.

Episode 7

I was really looking forward to this quartet working together, but Wu Ju has been turned.

This seating arrangement with the two sofas and armchair shows up a lot in Kdrama. Can someone explain why they're always arranged this way in offices?

We had two different "please take good care of me" exchanges, and only one of them felt genuine.

Han Tae Young is remarkably earnest, and I liked the spit it out scene.

Editor Yeong Seon is honestly fantastic. Telling someone you want them to be miserable takes a level of offense I respect.

All successful writers do is attend meetings. Jung Hyun's never writing.

I really like this first kiss. I like that Han Tae Young asked to kiss him after weeks of professing his love. They haven't beaten the TMS guys, but it was nice.

Another goddamn meeting.

I expected the reveal that Jung Woo was ghostwriting, but the reveal that it's what he outed that other writer for makes me wonder what the point was of going public in the first place.

I think Jung Hyun means it when he says he wants to protect Jung Woo, bit I think it inevitably infantilizes Jung Woo. He's never required to face anything, and still they both suffer.

I like the use of a bridge for a sad moment for Jung Woo. He can't go back now that everything is in the open.

Love that Han Tae Young was only worried that Jung Woo had left him again. We even get a pretty decent second kiss.

Episode 8

I really like the arty bed scene. There's been a lot of angst and long-term pining hanging over this, so this works. I also like it because this doesn't feel like a first-time-with-another-man experience for either of them.

For all that Kim Jung Hyun irritates me, Leo has done a great job embodying this character.

I can't believe a writer left his computer unsecured.

I feel for Yeong Seon. She keeps getting caught in all this drama.

I have enjoyed how when Korea does a love triangle, it's complicated by the different ways people love the same person and whether that might be best for the parties involved.

I'm wondering now if the professor figured out they were ghostwriting and blackmailed Jung Hyun.

It's a unique feeling of relief to see Kim Jung Hyun let go and team up with Han Tae Young. Now we've got a full party.

Oh, the professor didn't know.

There's a lot happening in this spiral just for Cha Jung Woo to end up back at Literature Square again.

The smash cut from the dour party to Jung Woo yelling was well done.

Hey, this non-fight is really good. Karam has done a solid job with a rather subdued character in Jung Woo. He's stepped up his expressiveness at this point and it works so well.

I loved this framing with the bus stop to place Jung Hyun on the outside.

Of course Jung Woo isn't going to let someone else sacrifice himself at this point.

Leo is good. I felt sympathy for Jung Hyun's relief that something he wrote on his own strength was good. I'm even glad he reconciled with Yeong Seon.

Man, I like that they let us know that the book worked out, and I like seeing Jung Hyun agreeing to work with Tae Young. This joke flirting between all of them at the end is a lovely touch.

Final Verdict: 8, Recommended. I think there are some shaky bits early on; I wasn't sure what I wanted to care about. Still, I like the ideas in this about the need to face pain and fear, and how trying to protect people from any disappointment can sometimes make things worse. I also enjoyed a lot of the dynamics, though I felt some emotional hand offs were missing. I will say I found a lot of the cross-cutting between scenes to be a bit distracting, and sometimes made it hard to focus.

#happy ending romance #korean bl #bl series #Ben watches

[hopecountyisforlovers]

22. for sex after a near death experience for John and Tobias :3

FIRST OF ALL i am SO sorry that this TOOK so long it really got away from me and ended up being 2500 words. such is the writers curse/blessing LMAO i started working on it yesterday right after you sent this and i wanted to finish it yesterday night but i cried a lot writing it and then got sleepy and figured i would do it before work

but gosh thank you so much for the request !!!!!! its so different to write summerseed in the game timeline where theyve already been married for like 4 years so this was a really neat chance to explore how their dynamic evolves and i had a lot of fun writing it SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT TOO <3

okay i will stop rambling now. content warnings for this are that its porn (obviously) there are also references to johns ~boss fight~ uhhhh. god im really bad at doing this oops . that should be all though ONTO THE FIC

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It hurts, the rise and fall of his chest- most everything hurts. His left arm is useless, casted at his side- had it broken? When? Things come to him in flashes of unfortunate memory- gunshots, pain, the blue sky tinted red around its edges. The sensation of falling still hangs heavy and nauseous in his stomach. His plane had gone down, shot right out of the sky by that godforsaken Resistance and their Deputy. He remembers what he thought would be his last thought- bright, blinding white, the light he should have walked into, eclipsed in its entirety by the shine of yellow-blonde hair under the summer sun, the pale flash of a perfect smile tethering him to the Earth.

Tobias. His Tobias. A cold realization washes over him- where was Tobias now?

His eyes snap open, and as if he had called to him just by thinking his name a weight on his chest that he hadn't realized was there shifts a bit, those same golden yellow blonde strands cascading over his body and to the uncomfortable bed beneath him, tickling his stomach through the holes in his destroyed shirt. Relief follows the cold, and then guilt slices through him all at once, hot through his aching chest; he owes Tobias so much for putting him through this, more than he can ever make up for. Tentatively, he moves his working hand, flexes the fingers to make sure they still work, and then cards them slowly through one of the tangles that now mar its perfection.

"I'm so sorry." He doesn't recognize the scratchy and harsh voice that comes from him as his own, but Tobias sits up in half an instant, looking at him like Paul must have looked at Jesus when he made wine out of water. This is a devotion he doesn't deserve, has never deserved, and yet he can feel himself flush underneath it. There are dark circles under Tobias' currently bloodshot golden eyes that suggest he's hardly slept, the brilliant yellow of his hair messy and knotted like it hadn't been brushed or washed for a while. The guilt comes through strong again, but he doesn't let himself stew in it this time. "How long have I-"

"Four days." He answers the question he didn't finish, almost too quickly, like he's afraid it might hurt him to talk. "I didn't know if- if you would- they told me all I could do was pray." His voice breaks on the word, almost angrily, and tears track fresh down his face.

"Did you?" It's a stupid question, he thinks only after he's asked it, but his head feels fuzzy. At his side, attached to an IV in his good arm, is a tall stand dripping clear fluid. Some kind of painkillers? They weren't doing much, if that was the case, besides making it hard to think straight.

He makes a sound that resembles a sob mixed with a laugh, wrung out of him as John's thumb caresses his cheek. "I haven't stopped."

There is a beat of silence, of the overhead vents kicking on, of an old love ballad playing from the lower floors. They must be in the Veteran's Center, as far as he could tell. There is a part of him, childish, that briefly but overwhelmingly feels safe here. Jacob had always protected him as best he could.

And then they are colliding, clashing, and it should be violent red and it should hurt but it feels to John like yellow, like blooming, like spring.

"John- Honey- You're still-" Tobias tries to pull away, however reluctantly, away from the desperation of their mouths pushing against each other. With all the strength left in his functional arm, John fists his hand into the collar of his shirt and yanks him back in the direction he wants him.

"I don't care." He's being selfish, like he so often is, and he knows it. "Let me make it up to you. Please, Tobias. Please."

"Make it up to me?" The small question shakes breathily, and he can feel the tears drip onto his cheek, can taste the salt on his tongue, but he doesn't disengage, he won't. He doesn't know if he can. He shifts along his jawline, catching them as they fall.

"You were right. I shouldn't have- I almost-" Tobias covers his mouth with his own before he can say the D word, swallowing it before it can reach the air, and then pulls back again. John can tell he doesn't want to talk about this, but words keep spilling from his mouth against his will anyway. "You tried to stop me. I didn't listen, and I- I saw the light, Tobias. I saw the light, and the only reason I'm still here is because you were brighter. And I can never- But I-"

Again, he is so sweetly cut off, perhaps with more urgency than before. "You came back to me, John. That's all I need. All I'll ever need. If this is what you want, then- But I don't want you to do it for me, because you feel like you owe me something. You are my something. You are my everything."

The words strike him through, stirring in his chest with a flutter of wings, and he smiles against Tobias' cheek. John had only ever considered himself lucky where his husband was concerned. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"That's a silly question." Tobias' lips press gently over a throbbing bruise on John's collarbone, the tenderness of it making his eyelids flutter. "You gave me something to believe in. Do you want me, John?"

John marvels at how easily he can say things like that, now- and how it still turns him inside out to hear them. Tobias' mouth trails down his throat with more of an intent, and he can feel himself start to heat up. "Always. Do you want me to-?"

"I want you to lay back and relax. Let me take care of you, okay?" His destroyed, blood-soaked shirt is unbuttoned and pushed aside with the utmost care, the position he was mostly stuck in making completely removing it impossible. The cold air of the room makes him shiver. Tobias draws his warm hands over his newly bare torso like he's touching something sacred and breakable- he's practically purring with it, the pain that should come with these touches all but absent. A delicate finger draws a circle around one of his sensitive nipples, and he finds himself making a much more obscene sound than any of the previous ones, melting a bit into the slab of a mattress beneath him. "Mmmn, yeah, just like that. Good boy."

Sometimes it's almost a detriment how well Tobias knows his body, knows him- the praise goes straight to his cock even faster than the touches do. He can feel himself, already embarrassingly half-hard. He wants so much more. "Say it again. Please."

The connection between them is such that John doesn't have to ask what he wants to be repeated. His hands never stop moving, never stop playing with him, and the warmth filling his core is building into all-out heat. "You're such a good boy for me, John. So perfect. So perfect for me. I love when you ask me for what you want. Do you know why?"

John almost doesn't even register that he's been asked a question, eyes having rolled back in his head a little when Tobias had said he was perfect. John had never been perfect, as far as he was aware- if anything, he had been the opposite. But God, If he didn't believe it when Tobias said it. It sounded so true when Tobias said it- like the touch of his Saint's hands could absolve him of every sin he had ever committed. "Why?"

He smiles. "Because I love you, and I love giving you what you want. What do you want now, John?"

His mouth, again, works faster than his brain. "Want to be inside you."

Tobias seems to think for a moment, appraising the situation, and there is a moment where he's sure he's made a far too outlandish request, the sting of rejection setting in over him quickly. Something must change on his face in response, because he's being soothed in an instant, Tobias' tongue replacing the ministrations of his hand around his nipple for a moment and drawing a high, breathy curse from him. He places a kiss to the nub, just enough sensation to drive John crazy. He'd be writhing if moving didn't still ache quite so much, thrusting up against empty air just for the ghost of friction. Instead, he just whines, a bit pathetically in his opinion, but the sound awakens something in Tobias, who moans low against his skin in response. A shiver of heat runs down his spine as those dainty hands slip down, down, tracing the outline of the little Eden's Gate symbol just above his belt line before sliding his pants down far enough that he springs free, cock bouncing against his stomach. "Shshshshsh, relax, prettyboy. How could I ever tell you no when you practically beg me like that? When you're already so hard for me? I just had to think about-"

Tobias positions himself, with no small amount of difficulty, with his knees on either side of John's legs, hand braced just above his shoulder as opposed to on it. It's a lot less touching than they might usually be doing during a venture like this, but he's not one to argue against his fragility at this moment, and the show is sublime- his lovely little husband in nothing but his rumpled white button up, gold streaming down his back and messily framing his face, cock leaking against the fabric as he fingers himself open with soft groans and exhalations of his name. John reaches up with his only free hand to slide the backs of his fingers along the length of his dick, as smooth and pale and perfect as the rest of him, and he shudders, head falling back as he completely stops all his motions. For a moment, he thinks he's done something wrong, when it hits him- he had almost made him cum, just from that.

"Are you ready?" His voice is still unsteady enough that John can tell how close he got. It makes his chest swell with something like pride- only he had ever seen him this way, would ever see him this way, and taking him apart was like second nature, an instinct. The feeling mingles with the ache of his desire, spiked by the thought of Tobias ruining his pretty white shirt all because John touched him the right way. He wants to make it a reality.

"Please. Please, Tobias, I need-"

Tobias is sinking down on him before he can finish that thought, bracing himself with both hands above John's shoulders now. The tight, wet heat of him is like nothing else in the world, momentarily strangling his capacity for language from him with the tortuously slow pace that Tobias sets, taking him all the way down and then sliding back up, or at least as far down as he can without actually putting any of his own weight on him. All he can see and feel is gold and white, and when his hips try to follow Tobias' ascent against his better judgment, their mouths are joined together, gentle and sweet to match the speed of their lovemaking. A tongue is again trailed down his throat, ending in another tender kiss to what he can only imagine is another bruise based on the low throb of it. "Do you trust me, John?"

"With- Ohhh, with my life." The words have never been more true than they are today.

"Then trust me. I'll take care of you. I promise. I've got you. There's no need to rush."

The build between them, usually like a dam breaking and overflowing, is now akin to the gentle ebb of the river through Hope County. It winds through his veins, the flames of it sinking into them like the spread of a venom that brought with it only a euphoria, the kind of euphoria that only Tobias had ever shown him. He loses track of the sounds he makes, of his husband's name slipping into the air around them to join his own spilling from Tobias like a prayer. He takes him in, memorizing a sight he has already memorized more times than he can count- the way his mouth falls open, having found the blissful spot inside himself to push into over and over, the flex of his muscles through his shirt, clinging to him in places with the sweat of his exertion, the shine of golden eyes riveted on him with a religious intensity. There is a new feeling he slowly comes to recognize, less than that of the dam breaking and more of the river lazily approaching a waterfall. It steals the breath from him, coiling in his stomach like a spring, and his hand finds his husband's waist, fingernails digging in as the feeling seeks to overwhelm him. "Tobias- Tobias I'm-"

"Together?"

"Yes- You first-"

He looks for a split second like he's going to argue, but then instead- "Touch me."

John does as he's told, applying the best grip he can to Tobias' cock, and he can feel him quake, can feel every muscle in his body tense and tighten like he's about to shatter into pieces. All it takes is one more slide downward, one flick of John's wrist up, and Tobias is spilling, beautifully, coating his hand and ruining his shirt, his hips jerking greedily into the grip and against his cock spearing him open as he chants John's name. The sight of it, and the way his body tightens around him, makes his vision go white as he is sent once more into freefall, ecstasy washing over him in wave after seemingly endless wave. Tobias doesn't pull off of him until his moans and whimpers turn into harsh breaths in the throes of overstimulation, falling boneless once more into the chair by his bed. The loss of him, of his body heat, devastates him for a moment. He's so used to him simply falling forward against him, to falling asleep sticky and sated and close, that for a moment he's convinced again that he's done something wrong. Only after this does he realize why that would be at worst impossible and at best a bad idea. Still, Tobias places his head back against his chest, as if sensing his distress, and presses a gentle kiss over his heartbeat.

"I know. I missed you, too. But we have plenty of time now." Another kiss, a nuzzle so slight he can barely feel it. "Forever."

He wipes his hand on the sheets and then returns it to Tobias's hair, carding through it gently- he can tell sleep is about to take both of them, and he wants to be touching him in any way he can when it claims him.

Forever doesn't seem like long enough to him.

But it's certainly a good start.

#my writing #f/o: john #lemon #i love writing summerseed i LOVE writing summerseed #cannot believe its almost been two years of summerseed truly #it feels like yesterday but it also feels like ive known john my whole life

[gamebunny-advance]

i've seen you mention black 1010 before and i'm super curious, did you ever plan out a personality or lore for him? what was his relationship with white like? your little "family tree" doodle said he went rogue in desynchronized, does he play some sort of role in the au? do he and kerinting/e.g. ever meet? what sort of dynamic do they have if so?

i'm super sorry if this is coming off as annoying, i'm just really interested in your 1010 stuff! as someone with my own black 1010 oc, i'm always super invested in other black 1010s. have a nice day <3

Thanks so much! I'm always happy to hear when people like the nonsense that I babble about out here~

And it's all good, I love to talk about this kinda stuff, but sadly my Black 1010 is severely underdeveloped. More than anything, he was always just a plot device and I never gave him a solid personality.

The original idea was that he was the first 1010 to be retired because Black & White were too similar to justify keeping both when Red and Blue were conceptualized for the group. Of course, there were minor differences: White was supposed to be the more openly flirtatious and playful one while Black was supposed to be more gentlemanly and mature, but they weren't distinct enough for that to be clear to the fans.

What little could be separated from Black was added to the current White, so internally this White is referred to as "Gray."

At first, this didn't really bother him since his ability to process complex thought was more limited at the time, but as he's evolved through the years, his composite personality and memories started to resent the fact that he wasn't "allowed" to keep existing as 2 different people.

After desynchronizing, this resentment, on top of all the other stressors in his life, is why he developed such an ugly personality and became abusive towards Green who he saw as being "allowed" to exist despite Green's constant "failures".

At the time of developing the family tree (which may or may not be canon now, I haven't looked at it in a while XP), the idea was that after being retired, Black actually managed to escape Barracca and is the first "lost" 1010, and he's been living in the shadows of Vinyl City ever since. What exactly he was doing was never set in stone.

In some iterations, he was the ringleader of all rogue robots and he dedicated himself to making sure the rogues were able to take care of themselves, so he usually went around collecting spare parts and doing free repairs to the ones in need. In this iteration, Kerinting being a "spoiled rich kid" was a prominent part of his character arc, so Black was going to teach him about how the more unfortunate in Vinyl City have to live and the stark differences between the luxuries he had back home and what it really means to fight for survival. So he would have become the real mentor figure that Kerinting has been missing for most of his life.

In other iterations, Black was the mysterious champion of an illegal robot fight club. This was where Kerinting was going to meet him for the first time after he accidentally got dragged into the club while he was looking for work to pay off his debts to Kliff. Kerinting made it to the final round due to being one of the few actual combat droids in the ring, but when he faced off against Black, neither of them could hurt one another because they still recognized each other as 1010s, and 1010s cannot harm each other (normally). Usually Kliff would have stepped in to drag Kerinting out of there by threatening to report the fight club if they didn't release him, but there are also versions where they're able to communicate wirelessly, so Kerinting takes the loss since he wasn't really interested in staying in the fight club.

In almost all versions, Black would have defended Kerinting from an attacking White who was tasked with bringing him home for termination after it was discovered that Kerinting didn't actually self-destruct. In some versions, Black actually "killed" White to keep Kerinting safe (White would have just "respawned" at the mansion, but was clearly shaken due to encountering Black), in others Black simply tells him to go home to which White obeys because his system got so confused by Black still being alive that he starts malfunctioning. In either route, Black would have helped to repair Kerinting who'd already been heavily damaged by White before he'd intervened.

In a very recent rewrite for the new DSYNC continuity, I had considered rewriting Black to actually become the current Red to help justify why Red is closer to White even though Blue is Red's designated partner. I dunno if I'm going to keep this change, but otherwise I haven't really thought of anything for Black to do in DSYNC now that I'm trying to move away from those kinds of dark themes/moments.

So yeah, Black was very important to a few key scenes in Desynchronized, but he unfortunately just isn't a developed character in his own right. I'm sorry if that's disappointing UmU.

#thanks for the ask! #nsr #1010 desynchronized #1010 DSYNC #1010 #black 1010 #white 1010 #kerinting

[wondereads]

Weekly Reading Update (12/04/23)

Thoughts and reviews under the cut (also, have you ever seen a weirder combination of books lol)

In an Absent Dream by Seanan McGuire (10/10)

I absolutely loved this book, but I will be billing Seanan McGuire for my therapy. She does an amazing job of writing these stories that you already know the ending to, and it doesn't make it any more gut-wrenching when the children are rejected or expelled. I see a lot of myself in Lundy, which only made it hit harder, and I loved the world of the Goblin Market. I really enjoyed seeing what would be referred to as a High Logic world with hard and fast rules and seeing how the characters worked within them (or around them). The side characters were, as usual, amazing, and they really helped bring the story together.

Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett (10/10)

I was not expecting to enjoy this book as much as I did! This was a really good, fast-paced adult fantasy; it was a bit refreshing since adult high fantasy tends to be much slower. Despite being more action-oriented, it still had strong characters and the beginnings of a good message. I suspect it'll be elaborated upon more in the later books. The magic system was so detailed and unique, exactly what I want from worldbuilding, and I'm really interested to see if we'll get more of the world outside Tevanne in the rest of the series.

Cinder Ella by S. T. Lynn (5/10)

This is part of a little project I'm doing, and I unfortunately didn't enjoy it very much. I think a fairy tale retelling would do quite well in a shorter format, but this one just falls short. It adds in a bit too much and as a result reads as rushed with not enough time dedicated to any of the scenes or relationships. Also, fairy tales tend to go by the "that's the way it is" rule of worldbuilding, which this book tries to do, but it raises too many questions to get away with not answering any of them. For example, the increased role of the fairy godmother brings up a lot of worldbuilding implications that the book just doesn't have the space to address.

Redfang Royal by Lola Rock (7/10)

Ok, I've never talked about these books before because they are the guiltiest of my guilty pleasures, but I'm trying to get over that. I'm a huge fan of Lola Rock's Pack Darling duology, so I've been looking forward to this book for a while. I finished it in a day, and I definitely enjoyed it. I did find the plot a little convoluted, and I wish it had been split into two parts like Pack Darling. The ending in particular feels a little rushed; I feel like there's a lot of stuff in Sol's backstory that was never explained to her pack. Still, I really liked the romance dynamic, and the love interests were quite different from the other series, which I appreciated.

Forget Me Knot by Marie McKay (CR, 48%)

Another of my guilty pleasures, this one is much darker than Lola Rock's books. All the characters have trauma upon trauma, but I can definitely see how things are going to resolve. Also, McKay's take on the omegaverse (yes, these are omegaverse novels if you haven't figured it out) is pretty unique with some interesting worldbuilding that adds a bit more to the story. I wonder if that worldbuilding has anything to do with why most of the main characters are named after objects (i.e. Arsenal, Riot, Ice). So far, I like Onyx, the main character; she's pretty different from what I've seen in this genre before, and she's a breath of fresh air.

Rising Storm by Erin Hunter (CR, 15%)

The Warriors reread continues, and I've remembered what takes place in this book. Unfortunately, I think that other than Fire and Ice, this is my least favorite of the first series. Still, the nostalgia does a lot of the heavy lifting for these books, especially since cat politics would probably intrigue me on its own today.

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson (3%)

My first Brandon Sanderson novel! I was initially going to start with Mistborn, but this is required reading from my book club. (Literally. There's a group of us that choose a separate book each month that we have to read.) So far, I really like the narration style. It reminds me of Diana Wynne Jones and other classic fantasy authors, which happens to be my favorite kind of writing.

#books #reading update #in an absent dream #seanan mcguire #foundryside #robert jackson bennett #cinder ella #s t lynn #redfang royal #lola rock #poisonverse #marie mckay #rising storm #erin hunter #yumi and the nightmare painter #brandon sanderson #wayward children #warriors #cosmere

[survivor-marieta-islands]

Tribal Council #3 - Antigua - Old School

Amy, it’s no secret there are a ton of pre-existing connections on this tribe – people who have worked together and against each other in the past. How does that come into play with dynamics in this game? Or is this a blank slate, so to speak?

pre-existing connections were brought up last vote and I think how it affects dynamics is probably different for each player. As much as I'd love everyone to agree on blank slates, I think subconsciously that's not completely possible. Generally speaking, we know most people have some type of history, good or bad, but I haven't figured out how everyone is playing it yet.

Colin, I have a simple one for you. Do you want this game to have a swap? Why or why not?

I do want a swap, yes. Keeps the game fresh and fun. I don’t want to go into merge without knowing anyone from the other tribe. In a game with a lot of pre existing connections, trying to break those barriers pre merge is essential. 

JG, the idol hunt in this game is clearly pretty complex and has layers of twists, turns, advantages, and disadvantages. How’s your luck been? And what have you heard from others?

I love me a Jay idol hunt. A Jay idol hunt doesn't love me. I didn't even realize there was coins or something until it was brought up publicly. I've barely heard it discussed except when our elevator collapsed so as normal it's just alot of interactions and discoveries that lead to dead ends. 

Jinx, has anyone in particular emerged as a shot caller on the tribe? Do you feel that people are working together or waiting for others to throw out names?

In the words of Britney Spears -- there's only two types of people in the world. The ones that entertain and the ones that observe. AND BABY, I'm a put on a show kind of girl, don't like the backseat -- gotta be first! #FreeBritney

Maddison, talk to me about loyalty. On a tribe of so many hardcore gameplayers, is that something you can honestly expect? Or does it matter more than ever?

It’s tough to say because I think it really depends on the individual. Some people might be more loyal as a strategy while others see flipping as the way to go. I think it’s naive to expect loyalty, but I do think it’s important, especially at this early stage of the game. 

Raffy, there is a classic ORG curse of going home near your birthday. Do you think that will come to fruition for you tonight? How do you feel about your position in the game?

I think that it won’t. I feel good with my tribe and hope they wouldn’t vote out someone so pretty 

Steven, after losing two challenges in a row, how’s tribe morale? Do you have a sense if people feel hopeful about future challenges or not?

I think despite losing the energy is still ultimately positive. We can still easily even up the tribes next round if we win the next immunity so I don’t see that is much of a problem for us. I can only talk about myself personally when it comes to future challenges but I’m optimistic that we a large array of skills that will help us in future challenges. Also I noticed that next round is a puzzle challenge and I’ve been waiting for 2 years to compete in another one so I’m excited for that in the near future.

Zo, last round ended up being a unanimous vote, much to everyone’s surprise. Do you anticipate tonight going the same why? Why or why not?

I don’t think tonight will be the same no. I think our tribe is, unfortunately for the folks at home, not very messy so I don’t believe there’s any one clear target tonight. I think we all wish it was that simple but alas, the olds are quiet and tired!

Ellie was not able to answer a tribal question this round and was excused.

Voting video here.

First Vote: Steven

You are worthy. You are golden.

Second Vote: JG

This may be dumb [no bottom text]

Third Vote: Steven 

"Hey Steven I could give you 50 reasons" (music)

Fourth Vote: Ellie

In the words of Bella Thorne, “TTYLXOX”

That’s two votes Steven, one vote JG, one vote Ellie, five votes left.

Fifth Vote: Steven

hope to play with u one day bby

Sixth Vote: Steven

Sorry bud. Cards weren’t in your favor this time 

Seventh Vote, and the next person voted out of Old School vs. New School: Steven

Here's a chef pun for you! Why did the short chef quit his job at the casino? He said the steaks were too high

Vote: Steven

I really wish we could have connected earlier in the game because you seem so cool but it just isn't the way the cookie crumbled this time unfortunately.

Vote: Steven

I’m really sorry! Following what I think the majority is tonight. :( 

[boombox-propaganda]

For the ask game:

7, 19, 21, 29, and 40 :D

Hi again!!! It always makes me smile when you toss one of these in my inbox, ty!

7. Favourite show(s)

Oh man, this one is actually hard bc I haven't seen a lot of shows in their entirety since I was little. I know when I was a kid, my faves were Beast Wars and Armada, and I've still enjoyed rewatching Armada (Beast Wars is harder because of how corny it is, unfortunately). As for favourite shows that I've seen more recently than 15 years ago, I'm actually really fond of Cyberverse bc I enjoy how it includes lesser known characters (also the idea of Soundwave as a memelord is hysterical to me.) I haven't seen a ton of Prime, but I also love what I've seen there since I think the animation style is cool and they actually redesigned Soundwave in a cool way for once.

19. A character you love that no one else seems to

Any of the Scavengers! Not that anyone really seems to dislike them, just feels like everyone except Misfire gets overlooked a lot. Spinister in particular is constantly rotating in my head like a rotisserie chicken and I have wayyyy too many random headcanons about him because I think he's super interesting.

21. A pairing you love that no one else seems to

Two answers - ShockOp (specifically IDW) and Nautiskids. For ShockOp, I think about their dynamic in a vastly different way to how I see a lot of fandom interpreting it and wish there was more fic examining it in AUs or with the nuance canon had and not just smacking them together like barbie dolls. Nautiskids just owns my entire heart but I don't see a ton of fic for it. Not necessarily that people don't like the pairing, guess it just isn't as popular as a lot of the main ships like Cygate and CDRW, alas.

29. A bot you could consider a mortal enemy

There's a few that could go on this list, but IDW Prowl probably wins. I fully recognise that a lot of his nonsense is probably because he needs therapy, but I have a real hard time with the whole 'I'm gonna feel guilty abt being terrible and then continue to manipulate ppl and be terrible and also nothing is my fault ever and history will prove me right' mindset.

(Second answer is probably Starscream. I love him so much and I think he's a fascinating character, but lying is a pet peeve of mine so I think I'd constantly want to kick his teeth in if I actually had to deal with him in person and not as a fictional character.)

40. What would you do if the Autobots landed on Earth right now and asked for your help?

Probably freak out in utter glee and become useless for twenty minutes, first and foremost, followed shortly by confusing everyone by asking a million questions in an attempt to figure out which continuity we're in and how scared I should be of someone shooting me or turning me into toejam.

Once I calmed down from the initial rush, I think I'd largely be annoying the hell out of the local archivist/information source trying to learn all I could about Cybertronians and the current situation re: Decepticons and such but ultimately, I would want to help in whatever way I could. I like to think I'm pretty okay at research and conflict resolution, so maybe I could sit on someone's shoulder and play Jiminy Cricket or help them get some information or something. (Also, first order of business is introducing Wheeljack to mythbusters. I just think it would be funny.)

Thank you so much for the ask!!!

#boombox noises intensify #this was so much fun!!!! #thank you again i really do smile any time you show up in my messages #novafire-is-thinking