#it's just a mess i hate it here

[tamayokny]

i am so sick of living with my parents it's unbearable at this point. i've been saying that once i get my master's and a full time job i'll move out but shit, maybe i'll just get my master's and dip.

they both treat me like a child, but the real hostile treatment comes from my mom. (no surprise!) she yells at me every day for some thing that pisses her off and she can find a way to pin it back to me somehow. then when i get angry and defend myself, i'm unteachable and unreasonable. that makes mom even more angrier because my responses are always, in some form, disrespectful towards her. it doesn't matter if i try to end the argument, call her a bitch, even if i may "agree" with her nothing satisfies her. and of course there's that passive-aggressive tension in the air but my mom pretends that nothing ever happened and i feel like i'm the one who blows things out of proportion when i'm still upset. i can't really hide it, either, so fuck me.

i'm just so sick of this. it's nice that i'm getting some help with living expenses, but i fucking hate living with my parents. my mom literally argues with me for the most mundane shit and for what!! ngl i feel like this is some "punishment" for not being married and having at least one kid by now. (i don't care, but that was my mom's life.) i also feel like my parents think i take advantage of them and never contribute to anything like all the "freeloading" adults who live with their parents. that topic is for another time, but even when i try to do more things around the house i'm told to step back so what am i supposed to do? it's a stalemate.

it's just frustrating and yeah, i really am paying rent with my mental health. i know i've been saying that once i secure a full time job i'll move out but with the way things are now, i may just move out as soon as i finish getting my degree. that's how fed up i am. and my mom is going to be in total shock when i barely contact her. not sure about dad but he's on thin ice too, idk if i can fully trust him.

#mads makes a text post #my vent is under the read more #but tldr: #my mom is always yelling at me for the tiniest things #and if i respond with anything *but* agreement i get called unteachable and she implies that i'm lying #(although even if i did agree she'd still get mad -- there's no winning with her) #and i am just so sick and tired of living in this household that treats me both like a child and adult #like fucking pick one but stop taking your anger out on ME #anyway i feel like i'm a teenaged girl living with mom again and that's the worst feeling i fucking HATED my mom...10 years ago #high school was rough let's just keep it at that #but the longer i stay here the more i lose my mind and the more i resent my mom #like she's such a hypocrite #and i think she wants me to be a wife and mother SO fucking bad too which just makes things worse #but if i ever have a children - especially daughters - i am going to make sure that i don't end up like my mom #like why does she not realize she's pushed both of her children (me and older sis) away??? #it's just a mess i hate it here

[chrollohearttags]

you ever get the feeling that you’re not really liked but just kinda tolerated?…like you don’t really belong anywhere and you’re just kinda always on the outside but you don’t fit in or wtv.

#just me? okay #this prolly my hormones talking anyways #I’ve always hated that corny ass term popular loner but that’s what it feels like #like I’ve always loved my friends and stuff but no matter what I’ve always felt like I wasn’t as close as everybody else #and I’ve never really had like a bestie or anything so I’m just kinda sitting here like 🧍🏾‍♀️ #I literally feel like this with my own family and it’s the weirdest feeling ever #cherry chats 🍒 #this app is a mess #but it is free and therapy is not so ignore my late night depression rant

[peachyutdr]

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

#undertale yellow #uty #my art #<- ifg #spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad #that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways #CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO??? #i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly #but THE CUTSCENES?!?!? #JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD #ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO #LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER #ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD #BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK. #AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE #n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of #everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS #WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING #AAND THE GROUP HUGG #I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD #AND THE FUCKOGN #THE F U C K I N G #AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD #to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho #and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump #just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece #anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way #this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to #oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig

[ch1zzie]

The original in the bottom

Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny

#thats not my neighbor #milk man #just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates #monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school #(online school) #my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT #also little welcome home update #im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me #also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭) #the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit #only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭 #also! im making easter art #yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!! #why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing #it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful! #im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to #high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not) #maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me... #also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh #ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me #imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope) #even if its little dumb posts #by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES” #just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded #hehe didded

[thasorns]

Next year... will I be the only one with feelings? Amane. Sorry! Forget what I just said. I didn't mean to rush you. Forget it. I won't forget. Today I want to answer you about the other day. I had something I wanted you to eat, but I didn't know how to reach out to you. So I didn't contact you. I want to see you.

KIMI TO NARA KOI WO SHITE MITE MO (2023) 君となら恋をしてみても, dir. Matsumoto Hana

#kimi to nara koi wo shite mite mo #hyuga wataru #okura takato #jdramaedit #jdramasource #jdrama #lextag #tuserfaiza #usermare #zeystuff #gif: ktnkwsmm #MYYYY BOYS I AM SO EMOTIONAL :((( #how amane was so scared of rejection that he'd rather run away but ryuji took the courage to finally open up to amane #ynow the lao tzu quote: Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength #while loving someone deeply gives you courage. and yes yes why do I think of these two #I AM JUST NOT READY TO LET THEM GO.... #we ignore at this point that I messed up my sharpening settings here #and hate tumblr mobile bc the coloring always looks different *sigh+

[heavendraven]

sorry it's been a while, here's some dgs doodles

#messing with a slightly different style and I'm having trouble doing digital art lately so traditional it is #and by traditional I mean cheap mechanical pencil on well-used walmart sketchbook #my art #my doodles #barok van zieks #kazuma asogi #enoch drebber #masked apprentice #courtney sithe #dai gyakuten saiban #the great ace attorney #physically incapable of drawing kazuma in a state other than blind rage .../j..../hj #sorry this is kinda shit quality my phone camera sucks ass because it's an iphone 6 in the current year #augh I hate engineering I hate engineering I hate engineering #basically just one month left and then I graduate and I'm OUTTA HERE‼‼

[whaliiwatching]

he’s talking abt seeker constellation myths

#transformers #starscream #knock out #knockscream #koss #the truth comes out: i was a transformers kid #rlly my friend was the diehard fan and i absorbed Love of Starscream through her #i just think he and knock out are so sillyfunny. they’d murder someone and complain abt the mess #this is one of the only enemies to lovers ships i have and its bc theyre enemies AND lovers. they hate each other and theyre dating <333 #when i saw ‘thirst’ for the first time. yall. heads were rolling that day #‘it’s been an honor serving alongside you’ ‘i always admired your lustrous finish’ shut UP #i havent been into transformers since like 2016 but i miss specifically prime starscream #he’s a bitch metal butterfly and he’s my favorite #originally i wrote here ‘i���m never drawing mechs again’ haha i lied. i drew mechs So Much

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[angelic37]

PETE'S WORLD | Pete's Choice (insp.)

#dwedit #doctorwhoedit #doctor who #metacrisis doctor #tentoorose #tentoorosedit #timepetals #doctor x rose #rose tyler #jackie tyler #pete tyler #by angelic37 #otp: i'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye #dw alternate universe #alternate universe #it's a big mess that happened after seeing shaun's ponytail... #so here you go #instead of looking for everything>> #dt: camping 1x03; bp: i hate suzie 1x05; sd: responsible child; cc: scottish mussel

[mychlapci]

Im here to beg for some synth-en megaratch because i dont havr any meaning in life besides stalking your blog <3

hgrhhh you are leaving me an open stage, i don’t know where to start… okay. The synth-en not only increasing both bloodlust and arousal, but mixing them together, which means that when Ratchet gets to Megatron he is, number one, filled with unbridled fury, number two, extremely horny after all the vehicons he knocked down on his way, and number three… Megatron can tell.

But you know, not a lot of people have the balls to just dominate Megatron himself like he’s just some piece of metal found on the street. So obviously, while Megatron is stronger than Ratchet, he lets him pin him down anyways, curious to see what the medic, seemingly unaware of the charge basically dancing across his plating, will do now. Spoiler: he doesn’t kill him. He fucks him. What a surprise.

mhmmm Megatron is so big that his valve doesn’t need to be prepared, all Ratchet has to do is shove his spike in and start pounding into him with more strength than he really should have in him, at any point. Megatron gasping in surprise, inner nodes assaulted carelessly, with no concern for whether he might try and point his fusion cannon at Ratchet’s head, or beat the shit out of him if Ratchet does something wrong, no, the autobot didn’t care about any consequences at the moment and Megatron enjoyed it tremendously. Maybe Ratchet degrades Megatron a little. Or a lot. Calls him all the things he’d normally call him, a monster, a maniac, an evil bastard, but this time he whispers it through grit denta as he nears his overload, each squeeze and punch and scratch delivered to Megatron’s plating that leaves a visible mark making him so much hornier.

hghhhh Ratchet’s transfluid being filtered out synthetic energon which means that everytime he overloads into Megatron, he gets him a little bit more high off the synth-en as well. By the time they’re found, Megatron is twitching and moaning through his Nth overload in the past half hour and Ratchet is still digging into him without breaking a beat in his pace, except to cum, but he recovers quickly and keeps going. I think Ratchet’s the one to tell Optimus to get the fuck out of here, this is between him and Megatron now. 

#my ideal tfp megaratch dynamic is ’’guy with a degradation kink x guy who just hates him #and also ratchet telling optimus ’’fine. i’ll fuck him. since you’re so fucking complicated #this is kind of long but i have to deliver. you shall remain here to stalk my blog forever #valveplug #dubcon #not even bc of megs getting pinned down i just think the synth-en is messing with ratchet’s head a lil #megaratch #text

[novalizinpeace]

today in ''why i feel bad for the next generation''

#dude I used to have panic attack due school #but it was when i have 15-17 #you know when stuff become serious #MY COUSIN IS JUST 12 YEARS OLDS #AND NOBODY IS HELPING HIM GET STUFF #that also on my aunt's fault #but the school is also making a mess here #how the fuck do you expect a child to understands uniform rectilinear motion and that stuff #WHEN YOU HADN'T TEACH HIM ABOUT EQUATIONS?!?! #DUDE HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FIND X #HOW 'M SUPPOSED TO HELP THIS FELLA WITH COMPLEX EQUATIONS IF YOU HADN'T GIVE HIM THE BASIS?!? #my cousin is breaking is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen neither #so here i am #god i hate being the oldest cousin #rant #nova head is burning

[hajihiko]

if you hate a ship or a character or an opinion, block whoever posts it, be mad to your friends, etc.

If you SEND someone hate about it, block ME, because I legit do not want you here.

#Not an art #This isnt freaking grade school. If you still send anon hate in this year of our lord you can just not be here. #BEFORE ANYONE SAYS SHIT this is about headcanons and opinions and not like #Obviously messed up stuff. Even then I think you should say it with your chest off anon tho

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

"It's just you now. Take care of mother."

i have the normal amount of emotions about them (lying) <3

#a redraw but also not really cus i ended up tracing a lot from the old one hfldsjdfs #it was only supposed to be for reference but i ended up keep messing w it instead of redrawing it proper...... #feel like i got his expression down better in the old one; looks more strained/ hearbroken like i feel #but thats fine #my art #my ocs #oc: liam hawke #i'm still not sure if liam or varric is the one who deals the killing blow #love both the thought of liam having his own sisters blood on his hands and never being able to wash it off fully #or his (future) best friend saving him that fate but now having that stand between them #cus liam would be grateful for it but part of him would always remember that and hold it against him #(both options also make the bartrand encounter crunchy in slightly different ways) #either way in that moment he kind of hates varric for even just being there. and fenris too #(though tbh im not sure how realistic it would be for him to take sb else except bethy and varric down into the deep roads) #((so maybe in canon fen wouldnt be there idk. havent decided this yet either)) #logically he knows its not fair ofc but it just feels like an invasion of privacy. it feels Wrong. #they have no place in this they shouldnt have been there they shouldnt have been part of it they shouldnt have seen him like this #but its sth that binds them too #the rest of the trek is miserable and awkward for all of them in any case #but yeah. #idk if they would be able to bury her down here properly so maybe they end up doing it via lava? #theyre not leaving her body out in the open to rot and/or become food for darkspawn or spiders thats for sure

[mattodore]

guy whose childhood drags behind him like a dead body

#river dipping #simblr #ts4 #ts4 edit #theodore doe #echthroi #i forgot to post this after sharing theo's birthday edit last night... listen i was so tired i just hit post and passed out #but so far today i've just been looking through character page themes for a bit and messing around with codes while watching dropout tv #i still need to get to my activity feed sometime today or tomorrow and then i want to set aside some time to just hang out on here #and catch up on things like i keep disappearing and missing out on posts jgkhjfnkh so i gotta do that... #but i'm actually fighting off the world's biggest nap rn..... my meds work really well but lord i'm still so tired all the time woof #so i'll probably end up caving soon lmao #but!!! anyway!! THEO!!! there was nothing i could do abt the proportions on theo as a kid like i couldn't make his head any smaller... #the sims team actually hate me so bad and are trying to force the huge cartoonishly big heads onto my sims </3 #also when i aged him down to a kid like all of his presets were gone so i just had to try and replicate them to the best of my abilities #his lip preset actually has a much deeper cupid's bow but thanks to the liquify tool <33333 it looks like his regular preset #i've actually posted teen theo on here before but i've made a ton of changes to him since then so this version is pretty different compared #to the older version of him at sixteen #he's definitely got more baby fat than he did before like his cheeks are pretty round #um. also i have these closeups i took of adult theo from the pose i made for his birthday edit that i gotta edit a lil and then post!!! #bc you really didn't get to see his expression or the actual pose that well and EYEEEE personally am really in love with the details #of the pose itself like ugh.......... theo is so.......................... yeah. #holds him

[jaguarys]

For the record I don't think the Sannin had some sort of dramatic falling out. I think they grew apart in a way that they almost didn't notice. I think they found different interests, different people, and no matter how much they told themselves they were still as close as they'd always been they weren't. And I think it was a process of continually realizing these people aren't who you idealized in your mind; that they are maybe, kind of, sort of bad people; that they have done things you can't ignore, and that, maybe, they are your enemies. But there's no closure there. There's no sense of relief to be gained. Because you love them. You love them more than anyone in the world–– more than your students, more than your spouse, more than your family, more than your village. They know more about you than anyone ever will or ever could. They hold pieces of you, not only in your knowledge, not only in your youth, but in your soul, because they are one-third of it. You know them more, and less, than anyone could, and definitely more than you should

#i love them so much man i have SO many thoughts about them #also as far as my hcs for the deterioration of their relationship #i think jiraiya was kind of the first to leave in that he stayed behind in ame while oro and tsunade went back to the village #and oro really hated him for that because they viewed it as a sort of betrayal (because of their mindset they just didn't Get why he would #stay for these kids that they viewed as 'doomed'- and like. they were right but they didn't know that) #and tsunade and oro's relationship kind of fizzled after nawaki died because there was just a MESS of emotions going on #i feel like all three of them were like 'oh we'll just move past this' and then they Didn't #and then jiraiya and tsunade kind of realized after oro defected like 'OH SHIT there was a lot we were ignoring here' #and then you get like 25 years of them continually going 'oh. oh shit' as they realize more. and it just grows #but they could never let go of who oro was to them #ANYWAYS. #personal #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto meta #naruto analysis #sannin naruto #tsunade naruto #jiraiya naruto #orochimaru naruto #orochimaru #tsunade #jiraiya #jiraorotsu #orojiratsu #tsujiraoro #tsunade senju #fandom: naruto #type: meta

[palmtreepalmtree]

It's been raining for like 72 hours. I am so over it.

#thanks i hate it #my neighbors in the hills above are a fucking mess #here it's just wet