#god i hate being the oldest cousin

[novalizinpeace]

today in ''why i feel bad for the next generation''

#dude I used to have panic attack due school #but it was when i have 15-17 #you know when stuff become serious #MY COUSIN IS JUST 12 YEARS OLDS #AND NOBODY IS HELPING HIM GET STUFF #that also on my aunt's fault #but the school is also making a mess here #how the fuck do you expect a child to understands uniform rectilinear motion and that stuff #WHEN YOU HADN'T TEACH HIM ABOUT EQUATIONS?!?! #DUDE HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FIND X #HOW 'M SUPPOSED TO HELP THIS FELLA WITH COMPLEX EQUATIONS IF YOU HADN'T GIVE HIM THE BASIS?!? #my cousin is breaking is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen neither #so here i am #god i hate being the oldest cousin #rant #nova head is burning

[ienvieu]

god i am so fucking frustrated

#80% of being the oldest sister of a bunch of immature stubborn bitchy siblings is crying your anger away in secret #damned if you try damned if you dont i am sick of it #berated for complaining even just a little and scolded when i decide not to share my struggles anymore like ffs pick your damn mind #compared to cousins compared to neighbors compared to random kids on the internet compared to their younger selves god i just. #and then they go and ask how my day has been and how im feeling gtfo i dont want that #either disown me and hate me or whatever or actually listen to me and not undermine everything i try to do #just pick a fucking side i HATE it when people demonize me and then smother me back to back #like i dont want to sound this whiny but god i wish they'd miscarried me too??? #man i sound like a total bitch rn lol idk i just want to leave #i can never seem to win #they dont let me express my exhaustion and anger and sadness and frustration and then they go ahead and wonder why this girl is #acting distant or passive agressive or why she keeps fracturing or bruising her knuckles or why she keeps biting her nails and #chewing on her lips and picking at her skin and just fucking lose it all the damn time #nothing i do is enough i just dont want to be here and i want to leave and take a break for a while but nooo that would make me #a family hater 🥴🥴 #and i dont even hate them i just cant stand the way they treat me all the time #i get so confused one minute she's telling me how bad i am and telling me that im wrong and wrong and wrong and how i cant do this #or that or how she used to be so much better than i am now and whatever #and the next she and i are sitting in the kitchen laughing about some random thing #i HATE that. idc if that's oh a 'normal mother daughter relationship' and 'everyone experiences it' and how 'it will pass' #well it hasnt passes and it's been years and im tired of this back and forth and constantly being shamed and i want out. just. out. #and when i tried gathering the courage to tell them i wanted a therapist to talk to she was like ' oh that's expensive and you dont even #look like you need one but if you insist we can pay for it ☹️👉👈 it's okay we will work extra hard to get the money 😖' #fuck that #thanks for once again making me feel like utter shit for asking for some help. again. #which brings me to my next point which is why the FUCK do we have to pay 50 fucking euroes for an hour of therapy?? #i can get all of the validation and grounding techniques off the internet for free why the fuck do we need to pay 50€ for talking?? #and like mental health is so stigmatized still with my family and my closer friend's family that we both cant tell them anything about it #girlie got clinical depression and she doesnt want to tell her parents bc she knows how they will react #and we both spend nights cry laughing about the fact that i have scars all over me that my parents dont have a single fucking clue about

[roaringroa]

hate being sick fr

#hate it in general but oh god the timing is so bad #i was supposed to go buy some little presents for this kid in my family cause she's coming over with her parents (my dad's cousin + his wife #and i already planned on going to the japan town and buying these cute stationaries + a case since she likes that kinda stuff #and i was going to go and have lunch there and eat good food and dessert and have a good time on my own like i love to do #but i started feeling off during my morning classes and went back home and i have a fever #but if it was just for today whatever #BUT IN 4 DAYS IT'S CARNAVAL!!! THE FIRST SINCE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC!!! AND CONSEQUENTLY MY FIRST ONE AS AN ADULT!!!! #i absolutely cannot be sick then like i will legit cry #i've been looking forward to this so much #i've made plans with like 3 different friend groups for different days #plus on saturday my brothers my brother's girlfriend and i are supposed to party together #and i've been looking forward to it cause my oldest brother always said that when i turned 18 he'd take me and the middle brother to carnava #but then i turned 18 in the first year of the pandemic and 19 in the second and last year it was still pretty bad so no carnaval again #so like i hate being sick in general but i can't stay sick like i refuse #i think i it's tonsilitis cause my friend had it like last week and we shared drinks before she found out she had it #if that's the case it means antibiotics for like a week which means no drinking for me during carnaval #which... yeah i'm prob gonna ignore it if i feel better by saturday

[katz-chow]

Coming from puff puffs blog 🤧🤥 hope you don't mind 😝🙈🙉 ur also totally gaining a new follower..

WHAT ARE YOUR HEADCANONS ON SOAP? 🥰🥰🥰 unless you've already done this before then I am so sorry 😓

relationship with soap headcanons

warnings: sfw, fluff, some angst, relationship arguments, family trauma mentioned, religious trauma, homophobia, bad dad

a/n: my fav cod man is soap so this took my top priority!!! i think about this man a lot, 09 and reboot version. reboot is my fav though, realistically, he's who i would actually get with. here’s all the things i’ve thought about him, there’s probably more tbh… OK OK HERE :))

childhood hcs

johnny soap mactavish comes from a large family of 5 siblings, he's the second oldest. it's elsie, him, blair, callum, and olivia.

growing up in a family of mainly girls got him on that respect women juice. he would always have to make sure his younger siblings are ok and aren't you know, being bullied. his parents were adamant on 2 year age gaps between them all.

his cousin, jack, was an sas operator and that was what made him want to join. they had to call security forces to arrest him out at some point because he kept sneaking in to watch them do stuff lol

elsie left for uni with her bf to live in soho when johnny was 16, the same year he would talk to recruiters around his hometown, driving hours and then getting rejected the same day due to his age

9th grade (year 10) chemistry got him obsessed with stem and its *explosive* results. he aced chemistry and then took advanced chemistry and physics just because he loved it so much

after this, as soon as he turned 18, he went to sign his papers THEN graduated school (he's just like me fr). his mom was so worried for him, especially when her sister told her about the danger that jack would get himself into. in the end, he promised he'll always call her and his siblings

his dad's an ass, hes an alcoholic, a cheater, a *bitch*... he would always take the kids to church on sundays and twisted the religion into a reason for his behavior. claiming that johnny's mom being at home was just "their culture"

she makes a killer shepherd's pie though

always had had some sort of love-hate relationship with the catholic faith. on one hand, it was nice to know there's always at least someone watching out for him, but after hearing the constant belittlement from his father, claiming he wasn't "manly enough" for not willing to give his life up in the service, he started to resent the “all merciful”.

he ended up blaming god for all his faults, letting him take accountability. this especially happened when he got diagnosed with adhd when he was 17, his dad didn’t believe in mental health. his mom was only a bit better about it, they both refused meds for him.

he's bisexual, leans towards women though. found this out after a truth or dare game in junior year (year 12) and some beers in a closet

at one point, callum acccidently let it slip at dinner when johnny had first moved out that he had met a cute guy and their dad screamed and yelled at the whole family, especially their mom, about "raising a fucking whore of a son, dragging the family down to shite"

blair called and told johnny a few days later and johnny rushed his work as quickly as possible and begged his chain of command for a few days off to go back home to his family

his family gets loud…like really loud. there’s 7 people what do you expect?

it gets especially bad when it’s sunday morning and you gotta get 7 people awake and looking their church best for an hour and a half 😔

johnny is the quickest everything there is, which has its downsides too. he could run and swim the fastest in the family, but he was also the quickest eater…meaning he’s on dish washing duty. he’s quick at that too so by the time everyone’s finished, he’s washed all the other dishes that took to make dinner

broke his arm chasing a cat through someone’s yard (he was 14)

had a goat scream and kicked him because he wanted to give it a hug

he got a part time job at a local bakery in 10th grade (year 11). the pay wasn’t much but neither was the work really. olivia, who was 9 at the time, made him promise that he’ll get her a doll to have tea with. her tea set had 4 cups but only one of her, so she must get another one to join her! he kept his promise; he ended up getting three dolls for her

he can make amazing soda bread and brioche loafs now too, still keeps a starter from the owner of the bakery to this day

he had a mountain bicycle that he would take everywhere. had room behind his seat for packages and his backpack, which he would tie down. that thing had such a loud bell too, would ring constantly to “let people know hes coming and get ready”

was terrified of selkies for some reason, always had the window closed and made callum sleep by it while he slept by the door

wasn’t much of a troublemaker, but would get into trouble with his adventurous heart.

got lost in the woods once and after a while of fake courage, he sat down and cried until elsie found him. he was 20 yards (13 meters) away from the clearing 😭😭

laugh at that guys, mf was 15

personality & relationship hcs

johnny is such a fun lover. he’s handsome yeah, but what makes ppl flaunt over him is his humor. he’s what jessica rabbit said “he makes me laugh”

such a charismatic and charming person, gets it from his dad. he could talk about just about anything, also the type to strike up a conversation with a stranger at the grocery store. then end up with their number and a date or helping them dog sit

this isn’t always a good thing though, one time before he was medicated, he would talk on and on, his story becoming incoherent due to the amount of self-interruptions he made, that a group of guys got so annoyed at that pub, they punched him.

he was young, 19, and couldn’t fight, so he didn’t win and came back to the barracks with a nasty black eye

he likes to be the big spoon, has to hold something in order to sleep

feel like he’s the type to wrap his arms around a pillow and lay on his stomach to sleep

speaking of sleeping, he HATES sleeping with socks on. he tried it one day and he just shivered at the feel of it, woke up and his socks were missing (he found them under the bed)

i also feel like he sleeps like a log, unmoving once he finds his comfort, i also think it's because he had to sleep in the same bed as his siblings at one point and he didn't want to wake them by moving, so he got accustomed to being a still sleeper

one time he accidentally got into a fight at a bar when a guy kept being misogynistic and was arrested and kept in jail for the whole night until one of his civilian friends bailed him out

johnny's the type to race you in the rain to the car. again, he's quick so he's always ahead of you but then he slips from the rain and ends up all wet and muddy and in the car.

his favorite thing to do is hear you laugh. he'll do anything to hear you laugh.

whenever you're sad, he'll purposely stub his toe or trip down the stairs or make you kiss his "owie" (a papercut) to get you to cheer up. like yeah it hurts like a fucking bitch but seeing you sad hurts more than a silly tumble

number one date event is city exploring and hopping. like cafe hopping, pub hopping, museum hopping, restaurant hopping, anything that makes you get up and get going with time to sit and chill at the same time.

feels like he can eat a lot, he's the type to eat your food if you end up not liking it or being too full

when he gets home from missions and the initial excitement of seeing you dies down, he also dies down and nap for hours until it's the middle of the night and he gets up to eat something.

he loves naps. feels like he needs a nap time every day if it was possible

he's a very kind lover, he's easy going so its not hard that sometimes people take advantage of this and push his buttons until he can't take it anymore

causes a huge blowup because he can have a nasty temper whenever he bottles stuff up and pushes things aside

not a physical manifestation of anger, but definitely a verbal anger, will say things he doesn't really mean just to say it and realize right after the words leave his lips that he fucked up

but he'll stake out in front of the guest bedroom in which you've locked yourself in until you come out and he gets the chance to forgive you

the type to stand in the rain and hold a sign saying sorry right outside your window, a very cheesy romcom style (gaz made him watch them)

he loves you more than anything and loves you even more than you can keep up with him and laugh at his jokes, no matter how awful they are

he wants 4 kids by the way

#cod mw2 #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare 2 #cod mwii #cod #modern warfare 2 #fanfic #john soap mactavish #captain john mactavish #john mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish x reader #soap call of duty #soap mactavish #soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #soap cod #soap mw2 #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #call of duty modern warfare #katzwrites

[matchamabs]

BIG FUCKING SIGH ok look ive been sat on this for like. a looong while now so i consolidated all my shitty ideas into some headcanon pages. im bad at sharing stuff so now its ur problem. tbh some of these are a mix of canon and headcanon so it all kinda makes sense somehow. i would looooove to hear hcs from other people tho just chuck em at me. ill eat them.

a lot of these r referential to other things so ill put my thoughts in a read more,,, ur walc. tis a good read.

- for people unaware, corvus is crow’s name in the spanish translation, but i think it fits better as a name. who tf just names their kid straight up crow.

- ofc u recognise mama, my beloved

- crow and pipper look so much fucking alike i refuse to believe they aren’t related, but i was unsure if i was gonna make her like a younger sister. for now they’re cousins.

- i swear to god if i mixed up the maltese and polish flag for marilyn im gonna eat my desk no i will not factcheck we die like men

- scraps mentions having a mother, and since he also mentions wanting to take care of her, u kind of have to figure there’s no dad. i made her kind of weedy to suit it

- another mix of localisations, with tweeds and gus being the US and UK names respectively, so i thought why not mix them. actually makes for a good name right??

- we all know about nabbys runaway dad so it goes without saying there’s a single mama there

- also another US & UK crossover. ill b honest, i had a weird dream regarding this where it said roddy was his real name? but since nabby kinda implies the act of ‘to nab something’ it makes a good nickname for a pickpocket

- dont ask me why he’s scouse i can just feel it in my soul okay

- also canon has a dad which he mentions worked at the factory

- i was gonna make badger have a real normal name but like. i know someone mutually who’s real name is actually just badger which i find way funnier lol

- ofc we all know shackwell is louis’ dad, and that he’s canon the oldest too

- gave him a dead mum :(( felt that in my soul too. buuut shackwell mentions having a wife so. gotta slot that in somewhere u know.

- he fuckin looks welsh anol

- okay it took me fucking a whole year to realise wren is like. a pun on wrench to go with socket, but it’s 10 times funnier if her name is actually wrench and she hates it

- i actually made their last name nutten bc the US localisation has them saying ‘nuttin’ quite a lot and it weirdly fits. 

- socket mentions having a dog in the game, and his japanese name is pochi, which is also like the JP equivalent of ‘fido’ so thats a happy coincidence

- i dont know if its canon that wrens older? i feel like that’s mentioned somewhere. if not, it still works for the dynamic

the more u know. anyway. if u made it this far down the post thank u. here’s a hint coin for ur time.

#me smacking my autism #apologise to my mutuals!! #professor layton #Professor Layton and The Last Specter #pl black ravens #pl crow #crow mama #pl marilyn #pl scraps #pl gus #pl nabby #pl louis #pl badger #pl wren #pl socket #misthallery #pl black raven

[stuckybarton]

Heads Under Water 0

Summary: You were forced to face your fears as you make your way to Wakanda. Character: K'uk'ulkan/Namor x Atlantean Descendant! Filipino! Female Reader. Word Count: 685 Chapter Warnings: Mention of Childhood Trauma.

Series Masterlist || Masterlist

Intro:

You hated any bodies of water.

Which was ironic, in on itself, as you’ve come to realize the life your family has for the past few generations. Of Nomad descent, specializing in traversing the harshest storms in the heart of the sea. You were different, choosing to live in the concrete jungle, away from any forms of water if you could you could get away with it. No friend, lover, nor any single one of your family could make you join in any activities that involved you in water. You would take it to the grave.

A summer in your youth had almost stopped your life.

The salty cool air of the early morning in Batangas, you would often find yourself playing by the beach with your cousins. How your mother and step-father would often warn you never to go into the waters unsupervised. But the child in your little minds thought it was still a good idea to do.

Making sandcastles and playing house no longer as fun as it once was, it began with your oldest cousin, whose was eleven at the time to your five year old self back then. It turned to him and the rest of your older cousins taking most of their clothes off and making their way to the waters.

Childish pressuring and teasing let to you joining in their fun, not wanting to truly be left out of the experience. It started with everyone swimming by the shallow parts of the water, before slowly moving further and further into the waters.

Dares continued and left you to doubt if you were still willing to play. You found yourself swimming further and further until you could barely have your feet meeting the sandy flood from underneath you. It was a mix of cheering from your cousins and the panicked scream of your mother as you were consumed by the waved from behind you.

Your memory was foggy after, but broken pieces among the trauma you’ve earn from the event, it was the burning sensation against your lungs that you always recalled. Now at every given chance that you would even shower, just a ten merely minutes of showering, you would always remember the sensation of the burning compression against you lungs.

“I can have the aisle seat, Doctor.”

You smiled looking up at the escort assigned to bring you to Wakanda for the excursion agreement Tony had made with the Royal Family.

“You need to seat down, Agent Ross.” You reassured the man. “Having me see the window when we take off would do no one any good that much I can assure you.”

One of the many reason you had agreed to become part of Tony’s engineering team was the lack of traveling and simply being hauled in your lab. Having to deal with the nightmare of your fifteen hour flight from the Philippines to New York was what you had believed was the last time you would have endure flying, you were dead wrong it seems.

Now, with your companion, you were now once again needing to deal with a nightmare of a flight and another once everything was said and done. If it wasn’t for the money or the information you would learn from this, you would have never agreed. Not for whatever form of bribing from your asshole of a boss.

Scooting a little, you allowed Agent Ross to make his way besides you on his designated seat. You smiled reassuring the man still of your comfort in the aisle seat of the plane for the rest of the trip.

“Got a fear of flying, Doc?” He inquired trying his best of small talk.

“Fear of water.” You confessed, hoping it was enough to stop the man’s curiosity but the frown that marred his features made you wander what you truly had yourself gotten into.

“Well, it’s best to tire yourself out for the rest of the flight, we’re gonna be heading down to a boat to Wakanda after.”

Great. You were going to kill Stark when you get back. You swear to God.

#k'uk'ulkan x reader #K'uk'ulkan x filipino!reader #K'uk'ulkan smut #K'uk'ulkan series #K'uk'ulkan oneshot #K'uk'ulkan oneshots #K'uk'ulkan angst #K'uk'ulkan fluff #K'uk'ulkan imagines #K'uk'ulkan imagine #namor x reader #namor x filipino!reader #namor smut #namor series #namor oneshot #namor oneshots #namor angst #namor fluff #namor imagines #Spotify

[kittensartswriting]

BEAR CASTLE CHRONICLES CAST

Faerathos Cor Mantgamia

Main Character | 27 | Ethnicity: Cerfi | Physicist | Courtier | INFP | he/him | #faerathos

"Physics makes sense. It's hard and complicated, sure, but if I study it enough, learn enough, there is a truth I can find and understand. Then all the pieces fall into their places. People though..." Faerathos sighed and took a long sip from his wine. "The more I learn, the less I understand."

Faerathos is the oldest child of the previous Duke of Cabalusia, and publicly known to be the only surviving one. After the civil war, where Mantgamia clan was ousted from their power and largely killed, Faerathos was taken as a hostage to the Imperial Court as a deterrent for any surviving sympathizers and especially his uncle, who survives in exile. While he has been imprisoned in the court for 13 years, he is treated as a quest and has been able to pursue his passion in science and become a physicist. He has not been allowed political freedom though, for being labeled as a traitor, but certainly his support for the republican cause is not doing him any favors. He is an utopian dreamer, intelligent, empathetic, stubborn and kind of a mess.

The court, where he is under constant surveillance, was a lonely and hostile environment to grow up in, but he at least has his uncle, his aunt's widow, sir Marcus K'irhinzaham with him. Marcus became his unofficial guardian and has since tried to keep him safe, which turned out to be not the easiest mission. Faerathos is impulsive and prone to self-destructive behavior, which often puts him in less than safe situations. Not least of them committing actual treason and poking around court secrets. Marcus is like a father to him, but his protectiveness often clashes with Faerathos' lack of self-preservation. Faerathos has also found an unlikely friend in the young emperor, Augustus, who also feels like a prisoner in the court under his mother's iron rule. (And who Faerathos may or may not be in love with.) However, he also has an on-and-off affair with Augustus' wife, empress Eirdene, which is very much treason. Augustus' marriage is miserable and he cheats on his wife as much as he has time to, but Faerathos still hates himself for betraying his only friend. Despite that and that the affair itself is very much toxic and definitely not good for him, or perhaps because of it, he still always comes back for more.

He has an insatiable desire to make sense of the world, including the seemingly senseless civil war. His clan was accused of conspiring the murder of the previous emperor, which according to the official narrative, caused the civil war. Faerathos doesn't buy it. And when the events of the war are given a critical look, some questions arise. Why would the Mantgamias kill the aging emperor and risk everything, when a Mantgamia (on mother's side) was first in line to the imperial throne? Why did Faerathos' uncle, who was executed for the emperor's murder along Faerathos' aunt and cousin, leave a cryptic message about knowing too much and a diary with dozens of torn off pages? And most importantly, how and why was there an ancient colossal dragon in the siege of the Bear Castle?

Asking those questions is dangerous business under the authoritarian rule of the empress dowager Verginia. As he dives into the secrets of the court, he finds dangerous magic, assassinations, political power struggles, cults and ancient gods.

Tag list under the cut. Let me know if you want to be added or removed!

BCC tag list: @siarven @worldbuildng @emilyoracle @frvnwrites @kainablue @writingrosesonneptune @contes-de-rheio @faelanvance @outpost51 @dotr-rose-love

#writeblr #writing #my writing #fantasy #writers of tumblr #my wips #my ocs #writers on tumblr #original writing #my characters #moodboard #aesthetics #bcc #bear castle chronicles #faerathos #bcc aesthetics

[mmelionsblog]

Caught || Young! Pete Mitchell “Maverick”

18+ minors dni, heavy make out session, fighting, blood mention, ugly name calling, happy ending

You had taken in Maverick into your parents house. At the ripe age of nineteen, you fell in love with a guy named Maverick, who was in the navy and was just starting out. He told you stories you’ve never heard from anybody. Not even the ROTC kids who you befriended that joined the military straight out of high school.

You kept your relationship a secret, a five month long lasting relationship. Those five months had felt like a bliss. And that was all coming to a halt when one day, you let Maverick into your house for a steamy make out, that was soon going to turn into something more if your cousin didn’t walk into your room.

“Mav,” you moaned out, his tongue swirling into your mouth as you felt a pool of wetness in between your leg. “Stop teasing,” you giggle. His right hand cupped your boob, and he loved it. He loved playing with your boob but he hated it being dressed. “God I need to get rid of this shirt of yours,” he growled playfully into your ear and you obliged. You picked up your arms, and he was the one to undress your cute top that you wore for your sister’s eighth grade graduation.

His hands touched your bare body, going over the lacy silk pink bra that you had on for just him only to see. His hands holding at your rib cage perfectly. His tongue slid onto your neck, leaving a pool of saliva as you grind onto him. “Are you sure nobody’s home?” He asked, as he heard a door twist and open. “M sure. They’re all out for my sister’s graduation. Should end in a few hours.” You whisper, your mouth kissing his neck and leaving love bites all over. He groans, “god that feels so good baby.” You giggle slightly as he swiftly puts you onto your soft bed. Having him over you with his dog tags in your face.

You grab them and pull them hard, his lips smashing into yours. “Ohh,” you moan out. Your other hand was preoccupied with his back as you scratch at it. He knew he was gonna get it in the showers with the guys when they see his back. “Ohh fuck,” you whine as he slowly teases your pussy. You so badly want him to put a finger in there, but it was all cut off when your cousin opened your door.

Mav’s eyes widen, and yours did too. You push him off and cover yourself with your arms as you saw your oldest cousin with a lollipop in his mouth pop out. “So you’re the one who has a motorcycle out in front.” Alexis mumbled. Then he walked away, and Mav’s widen eyes turn to you. “Your family..” he trialed off. “(Y/n) has a guy in her room!!” Alexis yelled, and you cussed.

Your dad was definitely gonna freak out. And he did. He ran from the kitchen all the way to your room, slamming the door wide open enough to make a dent into the wall. And you saw red in his eyes. “Is this why you wanted to leave early?” He roared, wailing his hands towards to Mav as you quickly put on your shirt. “To be a fucking slut!” He finished. Mav’s eyes squinted at that word and he stood up, covering you for defense.

“Don’t you dare call her that!” He yelled back. And you must admit, he has balls. No guy has ever yelled at your dad up until now. “What the fuck did you just say?” Your dad cussed, pushing Maverick harsh. Your eyes widen as you scoot back onto your bed and Maverick was the first to swing. Yet of course, your dad being older and wiser he dodged. And the two men in your room started to fight.

Your eyes watered, as your dad tackled Mav into the ground. “Mav stop it,” you hiccup. “Pete!” You said, trying to grab his attention. The two men hadn’t hit each other yet, both amazingly dodging the other punch but it wasn’t until when your dad flipped each other over, Maverick on the bottom. The family was outside of your doorway to watch it all witness. Your eyes widen and you scream at your dad, trying to stop but it was only making it worse.

And that’s when it was enough. That’s when your uncle grabbed ahold of your dad, when your dad laid a punch on Pete “Maverick” Mitchell. You were beyond crying and shaking. Your family tried to warm you up, help you, but all your thoughts were swarming you and your eyes were only on Pete. “I want him out of my goddamn house,” your dad spat. And you could smell it. Smell the alcohol. You sniff, glaring at your dad as you help out Pete who was still laying on the ground.

“L-let’s get you cleaned up,” “I should go..” Pete mumbled. Your voice started to shake, and your breathing did too. “N-no Pete, Pete please don’t leave me with him” you cry out, your hand cupped on his face. “Who said I wasn’t taking you?” He chuckled out softly. And your eyes turned into lust, love for the man that stood up for you from you father. “Oh my god you’re bleeding!” You yell, as you see a cut from his eyebrow.

“I’ll be alright-” he protested. “No, I’m cleaning you up. Let’s go to the bathroom, get your jacket and boots we’re leaving after this.” You had finally calmed down, down enough to the point where you could only properly talk to him. You pass a few cousins of yours, who was talking about the whole fight that just happened. They stood their quietly watching, and then you locked the bathroom door.

The walls were thin in the house, and they started to talk. You roll your eyes at them and grab out bandaids to put on his eyebrow. “Hopefully iceman and your friends don’t bump into us. Then they’ll see your a fan of Hello Kitty,” you laugh as you showed the Bandaid to Pete. “Who said I didn’t love Hello kitty?” He snickered with a smile plastered on his face. You clean the cut up first, his eyes closed as you did so.

He pulled you in by the waist, as you made sure the Bandaid stayed. “How did I get so lucky?” He whispers, kissing your lips. “We should go,” he hands you his Bomber jacket and opens the door, as the two of you walk out to the living room which was opened to the kitchen and Dining room, where your family and dad was located. “We’re leaving, we’re leaving don’t worry.” Maverick waved him off as your dad glared at him. “Not you both. Only what- Mav- Mav? Is that his fucking name?” Your dad scoffed.

“His name is Pete Mitchell, Call Sign: Maverick. And y-yes,” you stutter out, grabbing your boyfriend’s arm and putting it around you. “We are leaving.” Your mother shook her head. “Not on that bike you aren’t.” She warned. The whole family in your house watched you intensely. Maverick looked over you with questioning eyes. “We are.” You finish, rushing out of the house with the brightest smile, running to the bike because your father had yet again ran after you two. Maverick started it in big time.

“If you leave this goddam house, you’re grounded for a month!” You heard him yell. But you pretended to not hear him, due to how loud Mav’s bike was. Your family was watching with wide eyes, seeing what you were about to do. You were never the trouble maker for the family, so when all this ruckus was made they expected you to be a good girl, to listen to your father. But you didn’t. “Sorry what? I can’t hear you!” You yell, snuggling and giggling up to Pete as he road off from the house.

#pete mitchell #pete mitchell x you #pete mitchell x reader #pete mitchell x y/n #maverick x y/n #maverick x reader #maverick x you #top gun maverick #top gun #iceman #tom cruise #tom cruise x reader #Tom cruise x you

[marzipanandminutiae]

Who's Rosemary? I wanna hear about that OC!

I mean, hey, give me half an excuse...

Rosemary is the youngest child of Beatrice Sharpe's youngest sister (Beatrice being, canonically, the oldest of Several). She's eight years old in 1902, and her parents and three older brothers died tragically a few weeks ago when an unknown party poisoned their soup. Rosemary, having been sent to bed without supper, was spared- something the old aunt who looked after her during the inquiry proclaimed an absolute miracle.

("First poor Beatrice's youngest, and now you. That's a nephew and a niece I've seen through foul murder. If ever a family were marked for tragedy...") (Poor Beatrice's eldest does not rate a mention.)

But she must have a more permanent home, with someone younger and stronger who can care for a child. How kind of her grown-up cousins to take her into their grand country-house sight unseen! They wrote, you see. She's just misplaced the letter.

Upon her arrival at the front steps of Allerdale Hall, after barely a moment's pause, her cousin Lucille thanks the constable for seeing her here safely and ushers her inside. She doesn't yet know that no child with tattered clothes and fading bruises would have been turned away, even without the letter from their mother to hers that she's clutching like a protective talisman.

The tall man, she guesses must be cousin Thomas. An explanation of the little blonde lady will have to wait, as she's bustled upstairs for a hot bath and something more substantial to wear. Little girls can recieve proper introductions- and explain the murder they absolutely committed, no doubt in any of the Sharpes' minds -once they're wrapped in a warm dressing-gown with a nice bracing cup of tea.

other tidbits about her include:

Rosemary was not her name Before. she chose it herself. her three parents do not know or want to know what her birth family called her, and they picked a middle name for her at her request (Diana)

she falls in love with clockwork and Making Things, becoming Thomas' extremely eager workshop assistant. all her parents, of course, lavish her somewhat haphazard creations with praise. or, you know, as close as Lucille comes to any emotive display that could be called "lavishing"

Lucille is actually the best at the practical realities of child-rearing, of the three adults. after all, she's the only one with experience- even if she was a child herself at the time

left alone with a child, Thomas would be the babysitter kids love and parents hate, who lets them stay up until midnight and eat ice cream for dinner because saying "no" is hard and they're just so cute! Edith is very Oh God How Parent? at first- she expected children, but in the nebulous Future, not right now -but realizing kids are just Small Inexperienced People helps considerably

would the Sharpes be good parents to a normal child, beyond the basic Keep Kid Alive practicalities? probably not. but Rosemary wouldn't get on too well with normal parents, either. so while things aren't perfect, it evens out

Rosemary Loves Dante (the dog, who is NOT dead). Dante Loves Rosemary. this is adorable. you agree.

tl;dr- Crimson Peak OT3 kidfic, ft. the Sharpe siblings' distant cousin who pulled a Merricat on her abusive family. I may never formally write her into a story, but I love to Rotate her (as my friends can attest)

#ask #anon #OC #fanfic #kidfic #child abuse mention #people definitely don't come to this fandom for that sort of content which makes me less likely to write her for real #but I love her so much #I love that she represents a chance for characters to be the saviors they needed as children but never had #I love her for herself- tiny nerd murderess slowly learning how to be A Child and feel safe and loved

[egobless]

i'll keep my ting brief! - ares (she/her) here bringing you cha wontaek, a muse i've worked with a while back. for some light reading, head on down below the cut. otherwise take a gander at his power, profile & bio. if you want to get some plotting going you can find me on *scord ( gcntlemonster ) but defo hit this with a like and i'll swing by your dms for now

tw loss of family member

lore

seoul born and perhaps not so happily bred, he hails from a disgustingly rich family although the prejudice runs rife within this one.

suspicions were had when the oldest cha married a woman of lower class but imagine the chaos when they find that their child was born an anomaly.

hotheaded and prone to tempers that sent shadows and apparitions flitting around empty rooms, wontaek was more or less a living nightmare. if he didn't get his way, he would send a blight of darkness to obscure his nanny's vision or frighten his mother with moving shadows. there were times where he would get stuck in a wall and frighten his father into a near heart attack.

his aunts and uncles kept his cousins at bay, worried that somehow his predilection would rub off onto them. they all saw him as liability but to everyone's surprise, grandpa cha, founder of a mega conglomerate saw him as a gift.

where the rest of the family had their reservations about him he was undoubtedly spoiled by his grandfather. when wontaek acted up as a teen, he defended him and said he had a warrior spirit and needed an outlet. when his mother decided parenting a demon was no longer feasible, grandfather cha called her weak and invited wontaek to live with him. there he was given the finest tutors, his interests in the arts cultivated and he lived mostly free from any prejudice for being an anomaly.

art became a happy medium for his troubled disposition, and his grandfather's embrace kept him in line. he won art competitions for his sprawling paintings and profound sketches.

life's good for a while but then grandfather is struck by a degenerative illness. the vultures come out to play and wontaek sees his family scramble for that fat inheritance.

university becomes a place he can build more of a name for himself and keep him on the straight and narrow. grandfather always stressed the importance of an education so his days at sua mean something.

campus life

absolutely hates wearing the patch but will admit it helps temper the darkness on those harder days when his moods take over (c.f his personality below)

studied fine arts as a bachelors and went on to study a masters after a break of travelling and twenty-something debauchery. currently in the 2nd year of his masters and working his way through his disso in the form as an art exhibition.

yin member of house gangcheori, joined the sporting rallies for a little slice of the campus celebrity pie.

has really adopted the frat boy personality but make it art boy coded?

outside of practicing and being a bro, you'll find him in the postgrad art studio or in his dorm (blue hall represent!) sketching or painting. his fingers are perpetually stained with dried paint or charcoal. his works feature reimaginings of famous european renaissance paintings and he favours working on large canvases.

personality

leo sun, pisces moon and leo rising.

if you thought he was a cocky bastard, then you're right. he thinks the world was made for him and he is a god amongst men. hasn't got the memo that other people have interesting abiltiies too.

as mentioned before since being in uni he has really adopted this frat boy persona and stays fiending for a good time. live fast, die pretty.

his upbringing and estranged relo with his parents makes him cerebral and prone to moodiness, and rather than causing trouble nowadays he airs out his shit on the canvas.

i should also mention that the more he uses his ability the more he gets stuck in a dark place, mentally and emotionally.

when he's in that place he's selfish (more than usual), callous, and critical. his paintings take on a sinister tone and his shadow animations behave erratically too.

otherwise he's good vibes on a good day. if you can get past the entitlement.

#nm:intro #❝ ᵖᵉⁿ ᵐʸ ᵗʳᵃᵍᵉᵈʸ ᵍ'ᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵗʰʸ ⁿᵃᵐᵉ ❞ → ooc.

[blubushie]

JESUS, your dad got his head stuck between two boards? That must've been traumatizing, god, I can't imagine going through something like that! I get you're lenient with your blog but that needed a trigger warning or something! Give your father my deepest condolences... everything else is fine, though, I guess.

[Animal Fact Anon holy shit your dad is so cool, talk about a reputation like hello??? The fucking zebra shark?? 2x malaria?? Broken ribs and a collapsed lung???? Maybe 'cool' isn't the right word but ?!?!!]

Yeah he's a bit of a mad cunt and I'm cut from the same cloth. (Also he's glad you think he's cool—"At least someone does!")

Every bloke in the family is a little... off, really?

You've got:

• Me (I don't need to explain)

• Dad (don't need to explain)

• My younger brother who branded himself with the family cattle brand. I witnessed this when I was 12 because my brother is insane and decided his little brother with a medical special interest should witness and doctor his severe burn. He also lives in Texas. The branding thing has stuck with me enough that when I was a stockman and cattle were being branded I had to stay back because I couldn't watch it without getting queasy. Not cuz I felt bad or anything it's just that the smell of burnt hair and flesh brought back memories.

• My eldest brother who dances to Billie Jean at literally every fucking wedding he's been to for the past 30 years. Also he doesn't like me. His wife REALLY doesn't like me (she thinks I'm dangerous cuz I've taken the kids shooting). He just doesn't like me cuz our dad dumped his mum for mine and had me though, so I'm the kid who had it all (ignoring how the divorce left Dad in poverty so I also grew up in poverty WOOP)

• My maternal uncle who's an ARA antivax hippie vegan and hates me. Also he's gotten COVID more times than I can count so I avoid him like the literal plague. He gives me creepy vibes.

• My paternal uncle who, as a teenager, let his dog loose so it'd attack my aunt's dog just for an excuse to talk to her. Her dog damn near killed his dog. Then they started dating. His dog got a steak for being such a devoted wingman. This uncle also REALLY fucking hates lettuce and none of us know why but he will have an absoute meltdown if it touches food on his plate. No one, not even my aunt, has gotten an answer as to what the fuck's up with the lettuce thing.

• My youngest maternal cousin who was an alcoholic surfie who died of diabetes before he reached 25. He was convinced he'd die before he reached 25 but he literally drank and ate himself into an early grave knowing he couldn't be doing that shit with his diabetes. I have one memory of him showing me how to catch minnows with my bare hands, and I still use that trick for catching bait fish.

• My oldest maternal cousin who's a deadbeat dad and I hate him because he doesn't do right by his son or daughter. He's all they've got since their mum is institutionalised for mental issues. My aunt and uncle raise his kids while he lies on the couch smoking hooch all day (I really do NOT like him).

• My maternal second cousin who's nonverbal autistic, but both his deadbeat stoner dad and hippie antivax grandad refuse to get him tested. This boy suffers in school and my heart breaks for him. I had no idea what this kid looked like from 3-5 because he always wore an Iron Man mask all day every day, and he stopped speaking entirely around 6. He's now completely nonverbal and despite being about 13 years old he has the functionality of 6 year old. Last I saw him, he still tries to conversate with me when he sees me though, and he'll sit down and pet Misty and he knows I like talking so he'll pick from a few topics I write down for him and have me talk about them. He understands speech just fine, he just doesn't talk himself. And also really really really hates seatbelts so I knit him a seatbelt cover and now he uses them (turns out he just didn't like the raw edge of the belt). His little sister has some behavioural issues but she's genuinely a sweetheart and seems to be the only person who always knows what he's thinking, so she acts a mediator for him a lot.

• My paternal cousin everyone is convinced is either gay or autistic or a trans woman or all of the above. Him and I get on fine so I'm also on the bandwagon of That Boy Ain't Right cuz there's something in him I recognise, I just don't know what. Don't reckon he's a woman or gay though, and if there's anybody he'd come out to it's me cuz the family is conservative but he knows damn well I won't judge. I'm pretty sure he's just on the spectrum.

• My paternal nephew who's the only bloke what came out normal. He's going to uni in a few years and GOD do I hope he comes back normal. He's spoilt but he's a good kid.

#blu whos

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Ideas #9: DA:I, but make it amnesiac!mage!Inquisitor

The thing I love (and hate) about Dragon Age: Inquisition is that the Inquisitor can be literally anyone. Their background is barely worth a passing mention, which irritates me even as it provides endless room for fic writers. And given that it’s halfway through the game before the Inquisitor gets their memories of the Conclave back, I figured why not take it a step further? Why not have an Inquisitor who has absolutely no memories of their life before the Anchor?

Imagine this:

One very confused human male mage wakes up chained to the the Chantry floor. He has absolutely zero memories of anything from before that moment and after comparing his description with the Missing Presumed Dead list they eventually conclude that he’s Maxwell Trevelyan, Enchanter from Oswick.

Max, despite his lack of memories, retains all of his previous skills - reading, writing, slightly unusual magics that tend to come out mid-battle, &c. He’s also a fairly polite, charming, helpful man, which fits with what little is known about Trevelyan. 

The plot follows the game. Mages or Templars, it really doesn’t matter, though I’m inclined to lean towards the latter because it means when Dorian appears on the scene he’s stressed and failing to cope with what happened in Redcliffe. So when he thinks Max looks familiar, he chalks it down to them being distant cousins and never gives it another thought. Not even when it comes out Max speaks Tevene. (It is the language of the oldest magic books, after all, and maybe the family kept up the habit. Who knows? Not Max.)

None of the details matter until Here Lies The Abyss, Because it’s within The Fade they learn that Max didn’t interrupt the ritual with the Orb. He’s not even Maxwell Trevelyan. He’s a minor but powerful Tevinter Magister who was Corypheus’s second-in-command, Domitian Parthalan, who was there to help Corypheus murder the Divine.

Even after The Fade, Max remembers none of his previous life. Maybe this explains some of the weird dreams he’s been having and skills he’s displayed, but he doesn’t feel like Parthalan anymore. He can scarcely believe that he ever was Parthalan.

He doesn’t try to keep it from the Inner Circle - even if he wanted to, Cassandra and Dorian were with him in The Fade and neither is the type to bury this. 

Naturally, this puts a strain on all of his relationships.

The worst is with Dorian, because before all of this they were together, but none of the others are overly thrilled with him. Some wonder if he was lying about his amnesia, or if he got his memory back before The Fade and didn’t say anything, or if they should trust someone who once practiced blood magic and whose estate still owns hundreds of slaves, &c. This goes on for a while.

Except with the Iron Bull, who understands people coming back different than they were before thanks to all his lovely experiences with the Qun. ("Think of it as Reeducation.")

The rest of the fic is basically everyone coming to accept Max for who he is now, not who he used to be - Max included. This takes longer for some than others. 

There’s also the angst of trying to decide whether to tell anyone outside the Inner Circle the truth. (Probably not, but there’s a lot to be said for telling the truth. After all, Parthalan is still a charismatic Magister people in Tevinter might listen to instead of Corypheus - indeed, he was half of the reason people started listening to Corypheus in the first place, because gods know all his other minions had all the charisma of a dead frog, - and who would be invaluable help to Dorian’s post-game efforts. Plus, there’s always a chance someone will recognize him.)

But the key moments are when Max chooses to continue living as the person as he is now, and Dorian deciding that what they have now is worth more than his fears Max will suddenly regain his memories and all that entails. 

Otherwise, checkmarks include: 1) amnesia angst, coupled with disturbing dreams and the vague sensation something is not quite correct; 2) Max and Dorian pinning before finally getting together, then pinning while technically still together after The Fade because of revelations; 3) at least one instance of Max trying and failing to interact with someone who knew the real Max before the Conclave; and 4) all the angst that comes from realizing you were once the type of person you now absolutely hate and would still be that person if not for the amnesia that made you who you are now.

Because Domitian Parthalan was, before The Conclave, one of the worst Tevinter had to offer - cruel, power-hungry, and sadistic but in a handsome, charming, educated, well-bred way that makes me think of Hannibal Lecter. Blood magic, naturally, and lots of magical skill in general, but a wide knowledge of art and literature that makes him that much more cultured than the Tevinter Magister stereotype. Silver-tongued. Apex predator. (This should come across even when he has amnesia, always with the companions adding it's good you're on our side.)

So yeah, in retrospect I think I mashed together Revan's story arc from KotOR with my current Dorian/Inquisitor obsession... but I'd kill to see this now that I've thought of it. If you do adopt this bun, please let me know - I'm dying to see.

More Terrible Fic Ideas

#plot bunny #fic ideas #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #da:i #dorian x inquisitor #mage inquisitor #inquisitor trevelyan #amnesia #dorian pavus #nature vs nurture #dragon age: inquisition

[my-boy-squiggle-roy]

hello my fucked-up lovelies. here’s my pre-watch masterpost of osmosis knowledge so you have the most entertaining comprehension of my Live Cyrus Reaction 🫡

what the fuck is a succession

so like there’s The Roy’s and they’re Business People (the children by force probably) and their dad is the Main Bitch of the company who is inevitably gonna go six feet under (in light of… recent events HSHDJDJ) and so the siblings are fighting for their goddamn lives to be his Successor. I Think. and the whole family dynamic is super fucked and manipulative and their father is abusive as hell and the siblings know deep down that all they have is each other in the face of this asshole who has pinned their lives against one another for the sake of his own. probably. idk i’ve treaded into speculation so back on track. business family. there’s gonna be a successor. that’s all i really know plot-wise

Characters

these are the bitches i know exist by name. if there’s a main character on here i didn’t list, it’s because i do not know them as part of The Crew yet. here’s what i know about them.

Kendall Roy

not beating the bojack horseman allegations (almost killed himself in a pool and has substance abuse issues i think)

his boy squiggle cooked up some sick beats

i think he might be the oldest of the siblings?

he’s just Ken (i think he goes by Ken mostly and not Kendall)

seems exhausted as hell and on his last thread

Shiv Roy

uh hi for the love of god hello twirls hair around finger

probably gaslights gatekeeps girlbosses

like i don’t really keep up with taylor swift but i feel like there’s a lot of edits of her to The Man

married to some guy

i feel like i vaguely remember hearing that her sex life sucked with some guy

very clean cut no bullshit type of person and like she probably has to try twice as hard as her brothers for recognition but idk maybe logan believes in equality and hates them just as much

Roman Roy

sent a dick pic to his dad during a business meeting

am i imagining him being called a pathetic little worm for subconscious personal reasons or did that happen

says the most out of pocket shit in the whole show i think

is regularly called derogatory gay terms (of course by myself but also the actual characters i think)

has hella sexual trauma

was physically abused by logan

girl. the inferiority complex in this mf.

just a complete little shit

Logan Roy

primary source of trauma

just your typical like. old white man capitalistic bitch but there’s no charisma or anything he’s just There

well. he was there.

Tom

apparently he is that Some Guy that shiv married i genuinely only knew him as some weird abusive homosexual counterpart to greg until a few days ago

that’s literally all i’ve got

oh he also works at The Business

Greg

i literally have no clue what this man’s deal is but i’m so intrigued by his expressions he looks like an italian greyhound

he’s really fucking tall so scenes with him and other people in it have to be shot a certain way which is so fucking funny

he comes as an accessory with tom idk

can say with a decent amount of confidence that i don’t think he’s a super bright character intelligence-wise

also works at The Business

Connor (Roy?)

cousin to the siblings

he’s like overlooked a shit ton by logan bc he’s not like. a Real Roy i don’t fucking know

apparently got married recently. good for him. (unless a certain event uh interrupted the completion of that marriage)

i don’t think i know anything else whatsoever

Gerri

i’ve been told she exists

alright! now you’ve obtained my succession headspace and are set to laugh at my naïveté. go forth 🫡

[sunlightmurdock]

katie, i love u so much, but i cannot imagine any of those braldey’s having a sibling😭

mfiy rooster is too toxic at first - if he had a sibling they would have smacked him. also he is so self entitled omg

same w/ tip rooster… i mean come on, he is the most only child rooster there is. he has no social awareness.

bbb rooster? i mean i would say he’s the closest to having a sibling out of the series roosters but i feel like he is sooo depressing it wouldn’t make sense for him to have one. he’s like an orphan. he’s so sad lol

now parent trap rooster could have one… but something feels off abt it. like it wouldn’t be his actual sibling, maybe mav had a kid a little after bradley was born so it’s like bradley’s god brother or something.

ceasefire bradley def is an only child & nat is like the closest thing he has to a sibling. also he’s with an older woman, he’s def an only child. may he’s the oldest with a younger sister but idk.

safe zone rooster is WAYYY too sneaky to not be an only child. i don’t trust that man.

the odessy rooster is literally richard from friends who was also prob an only child.

sub rosa cares way too much abt lil kazansky to not be an only child. she is basically his only family.

now i haven’t read ashes, ashes so i can’t speak on it.

if any bradley had a sibling i think it would probably be older bf! rooster or firefighter! rooster. older bf would have a younger sister (who is friends with reader, ik how controversial of me) & firefighter would have a younger brother who would 100% be like best friends with jake & javy.

First of all, this is absolutely incredible! You literally made me laugh out loud with this. (Btw, this post is not to hate on only children, I’m sure you’re all lovely)

If MFIY Bradley had a sibling, after seeing how much Jake has gotten roped into doing, they would have run for the hills lmao 😭

TiP Rooster screams only child energy because he hasn’t learned how to share. Also a big reason he did what he did is because he’s clinging to this idea of building a family for himself, even though deep down it’s not what he wants — and thus sabotages repeatedly.

You did not have to do BBB Rooster like that omgggg 😭😭 you’re so right though. He lost everything. In my head, he’s the one that’s most likely to have had a sibling. He’s probably got a little sister that wants nothing to do with him because of the way he used to act.

Yeah I can see Parent Trap Rooster having some cousins, or like a step / god-sibling that they grew up close in age to like you suggested. So maybe he didn’t have biological siblings but he definitely grew up surrounded by other kids.

Ceasefire Rooster definitely values his friends a lot, and doesn’t really see himself having kids of his own. I can see that he probably wouldn’t have had any siblings either.

If Safe Zone Rooster did have any siblings… he probably doesn’t after the apocalypse lmao 😬

hahahaha not Richard from friends, we love him around here except for his creepy relationship w Monica. Yeah Bradley enjoys his own company a lot, and I’ve expressly stated in the fic that he didn’t like his cousins that he grew up with either 😂

Plus if Sub Rosa Roo had siblings, he might not have been at Mav’s house that one thanksgiving and might not have even gotten to know lil Kazansky.

Omgggg though, older!bf Bradley also being best friend’s brother Bradley?? 😭 the drama!! I love this idea so freaking much

And firefighter!Bradley and his brother would be such frat boys haha, I feel like they would absolutely dominate at beer pong. They would definitely be best friends 🥹

#this is incredible #my Roosters

[faaarawayyy]

16. interesting ass question

“if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?”

oh wow. yeah this is VERY interesting hmmm….. im gonna take this three different ways. also im gonna get deep into this rn so

if i had grown up in a different family- which, for everyones perspective, i have a mom and a dad (who is chronically ill/disabled) and a year-younger brother who i live with. my mom is mexican, dad is american, so my brother and i are mexican-american. i think if i lived without any of these people there would already be an immediate difference. with only my dad and brother id probably be tougher, but not as happy. with only my mom and brother id be a bit more… not-tough? i guess? its hard to say whether i would be more content or less content than i am now. without my brother it is very easy to say i would be a very different, likely more unhappy person. turn my family into bigots and either which way that would be the same outcome, unhappy and feeling unsafe… yk, im queer, and i think i would be in any life. there is more of my family to take into account (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins, etc) and things probably would change about me if they were different too, but theres so many different possibilities with that. i will say there is one specific younger cousin i have so much hope for- i love her dearly and care about her with all i have. our closeness is only separated by the fact we arent siblings, i think. i’m the oldest (non-step) cousin in my family, so there’s a lot that everyone looks up to me for. not having any of them, especially the one i just talked about, would be so… strange, i think. like a missing piece.

if i had grown up in a different irl community, then damn, theres so many possibilities about that too. different city, different state, different country, different views, different ideologies, so so so many things could be so different. i am glad i grew up where i did/am growing up where i am, though. i know amazing and awful people alike and i think thats just… what community is. you will know people you love and you will know people you hate. thats just the nature of people i think. i would not change it though. shoutout to you and my other irl friends on this site <33

and god, if id grown up in a different online community… lets say i never ever stumbled into wof amino (shudders), and things would be so, so, so different in ways i cant even describe. being present online taught me about so many things, mostly about all the many different kinds of people that live and breathe and love on this earth just like me. i was introduced to the queer community, the neurodivergent community, the furry community, three that i identify with so strongly, and countless other peoples, like disabled communities i never wouldve known about otherwise. its crazy to think how much knowledge the online community gave me. despite the bad experiences and the trauma and the hurt ive faced here, too, i cant say anything other than that i love it. its a big part of what shaped me into what i am today. it introduced me to some of my closest friends, my found family (hugest shoutout in the world to freak bin, you guys are my everything) who i consider a wonderful extension on top of who i already have, my biggest inspirations and idols, it helped me find my footing in becoming an artist, a writer, someday an animator, and it helped me discover who i am- this funky queer, neurodivergent girlthing that i am which i had been unable to even fathom or explain to my own self for so long- and for that i have so much love.

i love what i grew up with and all the amazing people with me. i really would be very different without it all.

#clicksnsqueaks #blowing platonic kisses to all my friends. u guys all know u are #i love you all #answered

[likeabxrdinflight]

I don't want to talk about this too much, but given there's been a recent escalation in the transphobic nonsense and, frankly, a flirtation with alt-right fascist sympathizers who agree with said transphobic nonsense, by the author who shall not be named, I'm wrestling a bit with the issue of my 11 year old cousin.

she's my first cousin's child, and I'm fairly close to her. she loves harry potter. she started reading the books several years before you know who went off the deep end, and at the time, I encouraged it and encouraged her parents to support that love of harry potter because I know from experience that harry potter is a gateway into a love of reading. and to some extent I was right- this kid is now reading the wicked books. she's so smart, and so capable of digesting these more complicated novels, and I can't bear the idea of anything ripping that love of reading away from her. nor would I ever want this kid to lose something that might give her comfort or an escape- god knows I remember how much fantasy and fiction, but harry potter especially, gave me a home when I felt lost and confused and alone.

and I know this kid's been having a hard time recently- she had to switch schools and, according to her grandmother (my aunt) she's had a hard time making new friends and is even being bullied a little. she might still need these stories.

...but she's getting older, and eventually, she's going to find out about what's been going on with the author of her favorite books. she's going to find out who this woman really is. her parents have kept her off social media this long, but I don't think they'll be able to do it much longer. kiddo turns 12 soon, she's in middle school...they (and I) can't shield her from the truth forever.

In many ways it's not really my place to have a conversation with her about transphobia and how to reckon with enjoying a piece of art without financially supporting the artist- that's her parent's job, maybe her school's. or it should be. I know I don't want to go over her parent's heads, I don't want to discuss this with her without their knowledge- not at this age, anyways. but I don't know if I trust her parents to have that conversation, or to really even know how- they're not exactly the number one LGBT allies in my family. I don't believe they're actively hateful, just...very cis and very straight and not particularly in the loop. and I definitely don't trust the public schools in a state that's very likely to try and pass a version of florida's "don't say gay" bill to do it.

if I was closer to her parents I think it would be easier to talk to them about this- but I'm really not, this girl's mother and I barely have a relationship (she's my actual first cousin, we barely speak.) I'm close to this child because I made an effort at larger family gatherings and I know how much she wanted a big sister/aunt figure- so I stepped in. and I love this kid, I really do, she's very sweet- but it's kind of awkward being close to her without having much more than a cordial relationship with her parents. so I have no idea how or when this should be addressed. just that it should, and I would like it to happen before her classmates or the internet makes her aware of the problem.

confounding all this is the reality that trans issues are about to become a whole conversation in my family as my brother's partner transitions. everyone met this partner when he was simply performing as a drag king and primarily used she/her pronouns in regular life. but now that he's coming out as a trans man, I'm expecting that to become an issue with some of the more conservative members of the family. I want to keep the kids from believing in any of that transphobia as best as I can- all the kids, not just this particular one- though she's the oldest and most likely to fully understand.

...I don't have a larger point here it just breaks my heart. the whole thing breaks my heart. I hate to be the one to have to explain to her that the author of a book series she loves would hate and oppose my brother's partner simply for being who he is. I hate it.

#discussion of you know who's transphobia