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#also as far as my hcs for the deterioration of their relationship
jaguarys · 10 months
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For the record I don't think the Sannin had some sort of dramatic falling out. I think they grew apart in a way that they almost didn't notice. I think they found different interests, different people, and no matter how much they told themselves they were still as close as they'd always been they weren't. And I think it was a process of continually realizing these people aren't who you idealized in your mind; that they are maybe, kind of, sort of bad people; that they have done things you can't ignore, and that, maybe, they are your enemies. But there's no closure there. There's no sense of relief to be gained. Because you love them. You love them more than anyone in the world–– more than your students, more than your spouse, more than your family, more than your village. They know more about you than anyone ever will or ever could. They hold pieces of you, not only in your knowledge, not only in your youth, but in your soul, because they are one-third of it. You know them more, and less, than anyone could, and definitely more than you should
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year
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Dating Eyeless Jack would include (plus general Jack headcannons)
Hello hello!! Im back with another list of headcannons!! This time with EJ!! Hope you all enjoy!!
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First off, he's a hermit. He doesn't like people, especially in my take of him
I personally headcannon Eyeless Jack to be more of a person being possessed/turning into a monster rather than being a monster at creation, yk? Its built off that one spin off backstory someone wrote; where Jack is in school and gets caught up in some cult stuff
Yeah that story!! I took that one and the original and mashed it up!! My idea is that Jack is still there, mostly normal but has a barely controllable hunger for flesh ++ he body deteriorates as time passes to better resemble how we all know him (grey skin, maybe sharp teeth if you hc it, ect ect)
Now that I've caught you up with my take on him, I'll continue!! Since he's in this position I feel like it'd be near impossible for him to actually. Allow himself to have a romantic relationship, or any relationship for that matter.. he feels that you being around him will put you in danger
Thats not to say my EJ is evil! Hes not, its just the funky curse that compels him to eat meat
But let's say he does find you, and lets his walls down, and you two get together
To start, he rarely takes off his mask outside of feeding times, most times he can't remember the details of; often being a blur left in his mind due to his curse
So mask kisses! Lots and lots of them! You'll have to be the one to initiate it though <\3 Jack never seemed to be the type to seek n give affection, at least to me
On the off chance you do see him without the mask, he might.. MIGHT let you actually kiss him
He's got sharp teeth, that's one reason he's nervous about kissing you for real
He also has half a dozen long, writhing, snake like tongues in his mouth. Cult rituals, amirite? I mean.. he doesn't really know.. how that'd work..
Oh before I forget to mention! My EJ is short, but stout!! 5'6 but he's got a wide frame!! Strong!! Do not tease him on his height because he will be moody for the rest of the day
Sometimes on cold days he lets you snuggle up with him inside his jacket
If he's coming to visit you, he'll be the most polite guest ever
Come over to his place, a little abandoned cabin in the woods? He'll be a good host!! Just please don't go into the room in the far right corner of the cabin 😋😋 that totally isnt where he primarily feeds 😋
I feel like he can't really eat. Normal food
Tough tiddies oh well
Actually now that I think about it my take on Jack kinda reminds me of the ghouls from Tokyo Ghoul
Anyways
Oh y/n please play with his hair!! Its nice and soft and fluffy!! He won't outright ask you to do it, but he'll send signals!!
He doesn't talk much but he's a good listener! He's not shy or anything, it's just that he's more observant and reserved. Even before.. everything that happened to him, he wasn't much of a talker
Doesn't sleep much, he doesn't really need to anymore
On nights where he isnt out.. doing his thing, he might come into your room and watch over you
Not to be creepy!! Even if it is.. creepy.. yk?
It's his own way of making sure nothing happens
He will knock it off if you ask him too though! He'll likely limit it to quickly checking in on you to make sure you're safe and sound
He's cold.. ice cold.. whether or not that deems him a not so good cuddle buddy is up to you
Takes a very very long time to warm up to affection. You'll likely have to wait for him to take the first steps, or to catch the signs, you know?
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animeyanderelover · 2 years
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13/25 for my 25 Anime special. This character was suggested.
Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, manipulation, gaslighting, sabotage, blackmailing, jealousy, threats, sadism
Yandere Orihara Izaya Hc’s
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📱He has already been shown as someone who is a rather obsessed individual so multiply that tenfold and you have one of the unhealthiest obsession someone could ask for. There is no kidding here, he wants to know absolutely everything about his s/o and uses every possible connection he can to gather all information. Blood type, family, favorites, likes and dislikes, shenanigans that lie in your past and your deepest and most shameful secrets. Izaya doesn't really care if he absolutely demolishes your privacy like this as long as he can feed his insatiable curiosity. He wants more than sitting in front of a computer and reading files about you, he wants to see you and every possible reaction he could get out of you for himself. Not only does he stalk you via cameras and trackers, he also follows you around and isn't afraid to bump into you by "accident". He's the borderline of clingy since he seems to always appear where you are.
📱You wouldn't quite recognize it but Izaya is actually really possessive. He knows that no one really trusts him and that he hasn't been able to form a proper and genuine bond with anyone so far. Even Shinra was rather nonchalant when he was in the hospital and Shizuo, someone Izaya refers to as a monster, has his friends who trust him. Maybe that is because Izaya has never let anything close to his heart yet, he only accepts everything. He's adamant to change that now though which is why he is extremely manipulative and isolating. He wants to achieve a certain codependence for him from your side and is willing to pull multiple cards to do that. Fake identities in the internet to keep you busy, rumors he spreads about your friends or about you in your friendzone and so much more. He is a man as cunning as he is charming and he is most definitely there even when your friends have been acting strange or you constantly get in unnecessary brawls with family and acquaintances.
📱Under that arrogant and mocking persona is because of the absolute lack of a real bond in his life so far, a rather jealous man. He is not fond of being the one who is being played with and he feels sadly exactly like that when he observes how close and open you are with others. Chances are that you've heard of him and are rather wary around him. Of course it's fun to work his way through your shell and make you more submissive but there is nevertheless a bitter taste in his mouth when he sees you being affectionate and nice with others. He longs deep down for something similar and his possessive and jealous behavior leads him to straining the bonds you share to the absolute maximum. How strong are those feelings if he would drag them through the mud and back? He lies in wait for everyone who sparks his jealousy and is the ususal jerk around them, only with a tad bit more poison behind his words and a bit more glee behind his eyes. He wants to have the strongest bond with his s/o and the stronger a relationship you have with someone else, the more ill will and envy he feels.
📱As a sadistic and playful guy who loves to observe humans and their reactions, he toys around with anyone who he views as a nuisance. You see, Izaya is someone who will do everything to get something that he wants. He enjoys pushing people back and forth after his music since one phone call would be enough to end up in a hospital or to ruin someone in less than one day. It's a treat to watch your trust in others deteriorate just as much whenever you are betrayed or left by someone and he relishes in the fact that he is always the one who is there to comfort you in a sickenly sweet manner. For the most part he lets others do the dirty work since he is more the mastermind behind it all but it doesn't mean that he won't pull out his knife and stab someone if he's in a risky situation. He's not strong like Shizuo but he is skilled and agile.
📱I'd say he wouldn't want control his darling to such an extent since he still loves observing his s/o. They are still full of surprises and sometimes go against his usually accurate guesses which is why they are his favorite and lovely human. Izaya just keeps a tight leash on you so you never stray away too much to the point where you think you don't need him anymore because he can't have that after all his work, can he? Obviously he won't shy away to lock you up with the reasoning that you shouldn't leave his side for a certain while now until things have cooled down a bit. It isn't unlikely that he sometimes drags you purposely into the chaos he has created but he never allows to let you get too close to the flames since he doesn't want you to burn yourself.
📱He grows very clingy the more he notices that you seem to crack under everything he has put you through until it feels like he always keeps you around him. He probably is aware of his obsessive tendencies regarding you but it's not like he cares greatly or has ever cared about something he did before either. He wants for once a lasting and real bond and even if he indirectly forces you to rely on him as long as you never know that everything is his doing your feelings are genuine enough. Safe to say that he doesn't let his guard down easily, always a bit warily around you since you might plan something. He doesn't mind the nice and entertaining surprise of you surprising him sometimes with your reaction but he won't let you win the upper hand.
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bookishfeylin · 2 years
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what do you think about the hc that a high lord's power can leave him before he dies and find a new vessel and that that is what started happening with tamlin's father, which is why he got so paranoid and made that ridiculously stupid choice of murdering the lady and princess of the night court, because he was losing his mind along with his power and wanted to destroy tamlin's relationship with rhysand - who he assumed was helping tamlin steal his power - and didn't think it through what that would mean for the whole family :)
it's kind of far fetched but it makes sense to me? idk
I--I'll be honest anon I've never heard of that headcanon so I don't have particularly strong feelings towards it, but we do know that the high lord's power does pick the heir and magically signal who the heir is prior to the high lord dying:
“We do this by conducting the Great Rite. Each of the seven High Lords of Prythian performs this every year, since their magic comes from the earth and returns to it at the end—it’s a give-and-take." (ACOTAR, Chapter 21)
"The Autumn Court is … cutthroat. Beautiful, but his brothers see each other only as competition, since the strongest of them will inherit the title, not the eldest. It is the same throughout Prythian, at every court." (ACOTAR Chapter 18)
"So I [Tamlin] trained and fought for my father against whomever he told me to fight, and I would have been happy to leave the scheming to my brothers. But my power kept growing, and I couldn’t hide it—not among our kind.” (ACOTAR Chapter 20)
“Because I willed my glamour back into place.” “Glamour for what?” “To look normal. Or as normal as I can look with this damned thing,” he added, gesturing to the mask. “Being a High Lord, even one with … limited powers, comes with physical markers, too. It’s why I couldn’t hide what I was becoming from my brothers—from anyone. It’s still easier to blend in.” (ACOTAR Chapter 23)
The court's magic picks whichever child of the High Lord is the strongest/ most powerful to be the next High Lord of the court, and the heir is indicated by 'physical markers.' In Tamlin's case, the Spring Court's magic marked him as the heir with a glow and a halo. It bothers Tamlin to stand out so much, so he wears a glamour to appear normal most of the time. (This is forgotten in later books, and High Lords and their heirs being physically marked by magic and appearing different than other High Fae is NEVER brought up again. <Insert angry rant about retcons here> Also, if Tamlin is SOOO hung up about rank and likes being a dictator and abusing his power, then why does he still like to hide the markers that indicate his status as a High Lord? We don't read about him glowing or having a halo in ACOMAF. It's almost like... him enforcing rank and being tyrannical in ACOMAF... is a retcon! Who could've guessed that?)
So that headcanon you brought up wouldn't be too farfetched! But I'm not sure if the High Lord's power itself would straight up leave just yet, or that his mental state would deteriorate as it did so, because I feel like that would make High Lords avoid having children, if anything, in order to retain their power for as long as possible. It seems like the heir is merely anointed with magic, and not that he has access to his father's vast amount of power just yet, but then again there's no magic system in these books so I could be completely off.
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zukoscomet · 3 years
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I realised recently that I never actually collated all the ideas I had about my Zutara kids so here, have some steambabies! Idk I just really like the idea of Katara and Zuko having a big family after all they’ve lost when they were young, and as an only child, I guess I kind of romanticise the idea of having siblings. 
TW: I hc that Katara would have had a miscarriage, so if that is a trigger for you then maybe don’t read on.
Shameless plug but if you wanna read more about this, my series on AO3 is roots and wings.
Their firstborn is a boy who they name Kai after Kya. His full name is Kaito but nobody who knows him ever calls him that, not even when he’s in trouble. I’m not going to go into too much context about like the pregnancy bc you can already find that stuff here. He turns out very much like Zuko physically - tall, golden irises, straight black hair, narrow angular face - but he has mixed tawny skin and his eyes are shaped round and wide like Katara. He’s born on the last day of summer in 109 AG, so because of superstition that firebenders are born in peak summer, there’s some uncertainty about what he’ll bend - if at all - but then when he’s three and a half, he makes a flame. Iroh trains him to firebend until he’s about 16, then he goes off to the Sun Warriors for a year to finish off, and he ends up a very spiritual firebender. Kai is like the dream first child - the softest boy ever to live - and when Katara and Zuko go on to have more children, he’s a really great big brother, like wholeheartedly adores his little sibs even if they drive him completely nuts about 95% of the time. He’s quite a conflicted and confused kid growing up. He’s never quite sure of what he wants in life but finally, when he’s 17, he decides that he realises that he doesn’t want to be Fire Lord and passes along the heir status to his sister. After that he joins the Sun Warriors and eventually marries the chief’s daughter, Himari, and they have two firebender girls, Aiko and Sol. 
Izumi arrives not long after her brother in 110 AG. Katara and Zuko planned to wait but it ends up that there’s barely a year between Kai and Izumi and it comes as an extra shock as Katara didn’t figure out she was pregnant again till like 18 weeks in. Katara goes into labour early at 35 weeks and Izumi is born really small - she never completely catches up either and it’s hilarious because after successive generations of tall male Fire Lords, they get Izumi who’s barely 5 feet - but she’s otherwise fine. She’s physically a mish-mash so overall she resembles nobody especially - Katara’s hair, complexion and big round eyes, Zuko’s irises, Azula’s heart-shaped face and highly arched brow line, Hakoda’s facial features. The superstition about summer births for firebenders peters out real quick when Izumi, born in the autumn, bends blue fire at two and a half and, taught by Jeong Jeong, she grows into a prodigal master. When she’s young, Izumi is the polar opposite of her brother - feisty, stubborn, determined and whip smart - and she’s a heathen teenager but by about 15 she mellows and matures, and part of Kai’s reasoning for abdicating is that Izumi seems a better fit for Fire Lord. Izumi was always kinda apathetic to kids but at 19, she accidentally gets pregnant and has her son, Kazuo, then her daughter, Kira, eleven years later. Izumi becomes Fire Lord at 37 but she only rules for about 14 years before retiring. Since she had Kaz so young, if she stayed on the throne much longer, Kaz would also be an older man when it came time for him to inherit, so she decides to step aside and Kaz is coronated just after his 33rd birthday. 
(Kazuo takes after his Gran Gran in more ways than just his blue eyes; he’s a waterbender so Kaz is the first waterbender Fire Lord)
After a break, Katara and Zuko decide to try for a third addition and Katara gives birth - in the Southern Water Tribe, for the first time - to Bashira, four years after Izumi. Shira looks probably the most like Zuko out of all the children, even more than her elder brother does. They share the same tall and lean physique, the same long black hair, Shira is mixed but still the palest of all the steambabies and their faces are practically identical. They’re characteristically very similar, too - serious, intense and reserved. The only differences is that her hair is curly, her eyes are blue and finally, Katara gets her waterbending child. Both of them suspected that Shira was going to be a waterbender even at the early stages of the pregnancy, but it’s still super exciting when Shira tosses a wave at her elder siblings when she’s two. Katara is teaching her as soon as she possibly can but over time some tension develops between them when Shira turns out to be quite different from her mom in terms of natural bending style. Shira is very fight-oriented, she learns dao swords from Zuko and never shows as much of an interest in the healing arts, but when things blow up and eventually Shira is able to explain that she wants to be able fight like her mom did during the war, things straighten out and Katara guides Shira all the way through to mastery. She eventually moves to the South in her late teens to lead the tribe’s warriors. There, she has three children - waterbender twins Kenzo and Kenji, then a daughter named Kanna who’s a firebender like Grandpa - but the marriage to their father doesn’t last and in her 50s, she ends up in a relationship with Aang and Toph’s daughter, Lin.
Katara gets pregnant for a fourth time - planned - just after Shira turns two, but this time she has a miscarriage. Zuko was overseas when it happened so she went through it alone. Katara is devastated and resents Zuko for not being there. She knows it’s not his fault but she can’t help her emotions and that makes her feel even worse so she just shuts down - stops doing her Fire Lady work, stops spending any more time with Zuko and their children than necessary, won’t let the rest of the family visit them and spends most of the day lying in bed. Zuko doesn’t know how to help her so initially he decides to give her space to grieve however she feels she needs to, but it just deteriorates until one day Zuko suggests that maybe they should both go to therapy or marriage counselling or something because it can’t go on like this. Katara just completely loses it at that and ends up yelling at him all the things that she’d been bottling up over the last couple of months. Katara says some awful things and she’s expecting Zuko to take it poorly, hence why she kept it all inside up till now, but Zuko just accepts every bit of it and after that, she’s finally able to grieve properly and mend.
About six months after they come back together, they decide to try again and Katara eventually falls pregnant. The pregnancy itself goes smoothly but both of them are so stressed about something going wrong like last time and the effect that might have on both of them, then Gran Gran passes away when Katara is in her thirtieth week, so the full ten months were incredibly hard-going. 
It’s a big relief when the baby is finally born on Ember Island, three years after Shira in 117 AG. They name her Lili in honour of their recent losses, since lilies can ease scars and Iroh once referred to them as lights in darkness. From the beginning, Lili is the image of Katara in every way physically and characteristically - kind, patient, gentle, but does have quite a temper if she’s pushed too far. She’s also a waterbender, though it takes her a little longer to manifest her abilities than any of her siblings, first gaining control of the water at the age of six. Lili is incredibly endearing, as both a child and an adult, and she becomes so particularly popular with the Fire Nation public that the firebending qualification to be considered an heir to the throne is reversed, so Shira and Lili are inducted into the succession. Born in the same year, Lili had a long-term relationship with Tenzin, Aang and Toph’s thirdborn, but as they grew older, Tenzin was concerned that if he married her, their children would have heritage of all four elements and degrade the chances of Tenzin producing airbenders and continuing the Air Nation. That concern resulted in a kind of on-again-off-again thing but eventually Lili sent him off with an "I don’t want to be with someone that isn’t even sure he wants me" and went travelling the world for a few years. When they’re both in their thirties though, Lili and Tenzin reconnect and get back together, eventually marrying and producing five children - Jinora, Aya, Hiro, Rohan and Kano, the elder four airbenders and the youngest a waterbender.
A few months after Lili is born, Sokka and Suki have a baby girl and when Katara and Zuko go to visit their new niece, they agree that night on a spur-of-the-moment that they want one more child. The morning after, they talk about it properly and decide it’d be better to wait till Lili was a bit older, but Katara found out six weeks later that that one time had been successful. About halfway through, they find out that they’re expecting a boy and Katara is especially excited since their son had always been more closely attached to her whereas their girls were very firmly Daddy’s girls. Sure enough, when Kallik arrives in 118 AG, he’s a big Mama’s boy and remains so his entire life. Apart from his curly black hair, Kallik is the spitting image of his uncle, to the point that Hakoda says that seeing Lili and Kallik together is like seeing young Katara and Sokka. Kallik is the hardest to handle out of their children - loud, playful, mischievous and an exhausting troublemaker. All of the siblings fight like cat and dog but Kallik and Izumi are by far the worst, on the level of one walks into a room and the other is like “And I took that personally” and they never seem to grow out of it even when they’re both old and grey. Kallik is the only nonbender in the family and initially he struggles with this a bit but he spends a lot of time hanging out with Uncle Sokka, learns dao swords with Shira and Zuko, and by the time he hits his teens, he comes to view it more as something that sets him apart from his siblings. When he’s 18, he goes to join the United Forces and he stays in service till his late thirties, when he meets Ren, another serviceman from the Northern Water Tribe. After beginning a relationship with him, the pair settle in Republic City and end up adopting two daughters, Kirima and Alasie.
About a decade after Kallik is born, it seems like things are kind of slowly drawing to a close as the kids are getting older - Kai is 19 and has left home, Izumi is 18 and living away in Republic City while she studies at university, Shira is 14 and already talking about moving South the first chance she gets, Lili is 11 and wanting to go Northern Water Tribe to train with the healers there, and Kallik is 10 and dreaming of being a great military commander like Grandpa Koda and Uncle Sokka - when suddenly Katara starts to get really, really sick. Zuko is absolutely terrified, thinking that there’s something seriously wrong with his wife, but after some deduction, it turns out that Katara is actually pregnant again. The relief at realising she’s not dying is short-lived and the reaction from both of them is basically holy shit holy fuck we are too old for this our other kids are practically all grown up now we are done with babies we can't seriously have six children what are we going to do. There’s a lot of discussion, especially since Katara is 43 by then and the risks for her to be carrying another child are higher, but they ultimately decide to go through with it. Ironically, it’s the easiest of all her pregnancies and when Katara delivers a baby girl in Republic City in 128 AG, there hadn’t been a single complication to speak of. Iroh had passed away two years earlier, devastating the whole family but Zuko in particular, but the baby is born with his irises - a darker gold - so they name her Ilah. Her eyes are big and round like Katara’s but other than that, Ilah resembles her Grandma Ursa most strongly, with her thick chestnut-coloured hair and slight, delicate facial features. Naturally, Katara and Zuko think all their babies were the cutest baby but Ilah is probably objectively the cutest, with her big honey-coloured eyes, chubby cheeks and soft little curls.
Inevitably, since Kai, Shira, Lili and Kallik had all either left home before she was born or did so when she was still a little girl, Ilah gets a lot more concentrated attention from Katara and Zuko. She’s completely spoiled and doted upon by the whole family, including her elder brothers and sisters who visit her as often as they can manage. Since Izumi still lives in the palace permanently as the Crown Princess, she and Ilah are close, but Ilah ultimately ends up being closest with Izumi’s son, Kaz, who is only a year younger than his aunt. Ilah was even in the room when Kaz was born, though it wasn't an intentional move. Zuko was supposed to be watching Ilah when things got intense with Izumi’s labour but things escalated from 0-100 real fast and Katara didn't have time to hand Ilah off, so she stayed tucked in a sling on her mother’s back as Katara helped her eldest daughter to deliver her own baby, somehow sleeping through all the noise and commotion. Ilah and Kaz end up more like a brother and sister or best friends than an aunt and nephew, though Kaz always calls her Auntie Ilah when he’s teasing her. Ilah is perhaps the shyest around strangers of her siblings, uninterested in celebrity and attention, but she’s the most adventurous, determined and creative, interested in science and invention from an early age. Growing up, Ilah felt a little pressured by the renown of her family, especially when her firebending turned out to be just about average in power, but when she’s 12, Ilah figures out that she can combustionbend. From there, she applies her bending abilities to science and when she leaves home for university, she invents the combustion engine at age 20. The rest of her adult life is spent travelling virtually non-stop, working on innovation projects for the different nations. She never has children, on the account that it would be unfair to expect a kid to move around as much as she does and she’s happy enough with her numerous nieces and nephews, but she eventually marries her long-time girlfriend Li-Mei, an Air Nomad tasked with searching the world for new airbenders. 
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mineshaft-birdie · 3 years
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omg after seeing ur recent post for devil muriel I gotta ask, what are the dets for zora and devil muriel. I want moreeeee! 😳😳😳
I have a 4 page google doc about the play by play of their relationship progression so I’ll try and shorten it for this. After talking about my hcs with @apprenticing, I made a lot of mental changes to their story.
- In any reversed end she’s in, Zora has communication issues. She infantilizes her S/O and tries to handle all of their problems herself. 
- This reared its head when she came up with a plan to defeat Lucio by temporarily binding herself to him. It might have worked, too, had she told Muriel ANYTHING. She overestimated his trust in her and, not long after, Muriel took Lucio’s heart and his place as The Devil. 
- To Muriel, Zora was sacrificing herself for him. Something he didn’t feel he was worthy of. He trusted her but he felt she was doing something irreversibly stupid.
- After Muriel ate Lucio’s heart, Zora was transported to The Devil’s realm along with him.
- Even though the succession process is magical, I HC that the alterations to the body are ungodly painful. That being said, there was a lot of blood as Muriel's new horns and teeth grew in.
- As she was blocking out Muriel’s screams, she was questioning her entire worldview. Luckily, she kept it together just enough to understand that she couldn’t show any weakness. Whatever force was causing Muriel such pain surely wouldn’t leave his mind unscathed.
- She was right.
- The traits of The Devil had immediately entrenched themselves into his personality and she could barely catch a of glimpse of the person she knew.
- From that point onwards she was focused on getting out of there. 
- Zora also made it clear that she would do everything in her power to piss him off. It wasn’t that hard to do either. She just had to tell him the truth.
- “I love you, but I could live without you.”
(This feels long so more under the cut)
- From the start, the specific wording of her deal with Lucio made it so she could leave if specific criteria were met.
- Muriel knew that, so he did all he could to fortify the realm. Not to keep anything out, but to keep Zora in. He knows personally how crafty she can be with her magic. He also felt that, with enough time, she’d come around. 
- His actions were in direct conflict with Zora’s core trait of wanderlust, though. She absolutely cannot remain in isolation. It causes the brain to atrophy and no amount of comfort Muriel could provide would change the fact that she already was deteriorating.
- Zora’s magic is the art of construction and deconstruction. Breaking things down, be it household objects, magical formulas, or concepts, and transforming them into something similar but fundamentally different.
- For example, Zora transformed the ledger in Asra’s shop so that it could do the math itself for @apprenticing​‘s Erin. She basically made a magical excel sheet.
- This ability, however, is solely tied to her mental fortitude. Should she lack the proper mental stimulation(i.e. taking in new information by TALKING TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE), her magic wouldn’t have anything to deconstruct. It’s a bit like how the body processes energy. If one fails to provide external nourishment for the body, it’ll take it from the internals.
- There’s some crucial lore about her backstory I don’t wanna reveal yet, but nothing he had within his realm could’ve save her body form devouring itself. So Muriel found himself pushed into a corner, let her go and potentially lose her forever or leave her as is. The latter would be easier for him in the long run because she’d become a doll. Less work for him.
- At this point, he had already attempted to act like the ‘old’ him for her. He’d been ‘nice’ and ‘understanding’ and ‘patient’ as she looked for a way to save him(that magical attachment hits hard). Still, there came a point where he could tell she saw through his act. He could only push her so far without her hating him. He knew that there was a growing chance that she would get out of there. Her magic eating away at her mind would’ve been a saving grace. But he loved her too much to see her lose herself in that way.
- Instead, he chose the third option and made her his Thrall. This bound her to him in body and soul.
- She didn’t take it very well.
I’ll get into the Thrall portion of everything in another question since this is already a lot for me -_-. I wanted to get the(most) lore heavy stuff out of the way for now.
The specifics of Zora’s magic can get a bit confusing so feel free to send a follow-up question if there’s something I need to elaborate on!
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korpuskat · 4 years
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Another ask originally for my self-insert blog, but it’s extensive enough it gets a post here as well. (18+ below cut)
❤️ - Kissing Headcanons
Poor baby is so starved for affection, but it will still take him ages for him to be comfortable with kisses anywhere near his face.
Neck and hands are safest, forehead can be iffy depending on how aggressive his skin is being.
Don’t kiss the mask directly if he hasn’t shown you his face.
Seriously, don’t, he’ll cry. Or rather he’ll storm off to the basement and lock the door and you won’t see him for quite a while.
He’ll only let you kiss him through the mask once he’s taken it off around you and he’s sure you won’t be repulsed by him.
Without the mask, he always starts off shy and scared that this time you’ll flinch. When you don’t he can’t keep his mouth off you, he’ll smother you in messy, unpracticed kisses.
🧡 - Affection Headcanons
Looooooves physical touch as a love language (seriously, this boy is so touch-starved, please hold him), but also likes to give gifts when he can find something which really depends on how the family hunting trips have been going.
The ultimate display of affection with you is him taking off his mask. He’s worn masks since he was a child, that trauma is deeply rooted. He doesn’t even take it off at home around his family. If he trusts you enough to take it off– mind you this could take months of cultivating a relationship– he’s just over, either you’re better than anything he could ever dream of, let alone hope for, or you’re just like everyone else.
Talking!! Thomas can talk, it’s just usually unpleasant for him. Thomas’s condition alone gives him a hypernasality to his voice (too much air escapes from his nose), but even moreso, his scars and deterioration can make the actual act of talking uncomfortable. He won’t say much- he wouldn’t be super talkative even without his scars– but seeing how his voice makes your face light up makes him want to do it more.
💛 - Domestic Headcanons
Literally just likes to be around you all the time? If he’s doing his leatherwork, he’d love for you to just sit in the room with him.
He isn’t fond of reading- and with his mottled relationship to school I don’t think he got a lot of time to learn– but he loves for you to read to him. Even if he isn’t entirely following what you’re saying, he’s enthralled by the sound of your voice.
Wants about 80 kids and that’s lowballing it. If you don’t want kids? Good luck.
💚 - Holiday Headcanons
The Hewitts are incredibly poor, but Thomas still loves Christmas. Luda Mae makes cookies and knits what gifts she can, the whole family meets up and spends the day together (which goes about as well as expected).
Again, Thomas loves to give gifts, he’ll be picking through travelers’ belongings all year to save his favorites for Christmas.
They really go all out on the Christmas roast. Tommy’ll be looking for that perfect meat cut for quite a while in advance, even if he has to freeze it.
💙 - AU/Crossover Headcanons
If Thomas didn’t have a skin condition, his personality wouldn’t be all that different. I think he’d still be very withdrawn and quiet due to his unaltered home life (I will stand by my HC that Charlie is an asshole even before becoming Hoyt)
But, that said, I think he might be stable enough and have enough outside positivity in his life to not be compelled to murder. After all, Thomas’s most deep-set trauma is that people judge, fear, and bully him based on his appearance.
(It would not solve the apprehension have about his fucking size or broody personality or mildly violent tendencies)
💜 - NSFW Headcanons (oops this is long)
Actually, Thomas would probably be ready to have sex fairly soon. But bless him, Tommy is kind of a romantic and would rather know you really wanted him and he’d have to work up to taking his mask off first.
He wants you very early into the relationship and if you’re both desperate enough he might allow for grinding before he takes his mask off.
Once he takes the mask off, it’s maximum two days before he wants to go all the way.
Thomas is big. Perhaps only a little above average in length, but deceptively thick, even relative to his size. Even his fingers are thick.
Seriously:
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Thankfully, Thomas is incredibly giving. You’ve made him so incredibly happy and if he can bask in him making you happy, he absolutely fucking will.
Due to the scars and deformities of his face, it takes him a while before he can be both emotionally and physically comfortable going down. But once he is comfortable? Hold on for dear life. You’ll have to fight to get him out from between your thighs
It will take a hot minute for Thomas to realize he won’t break you but if you can convince him to use just a little of that pent-up aggression in the bedroom? oh boy. He loves pinning your wrists and making you feel small under him, but be sure to kiss him lots afterwards so he knows you like it too.
He’s okay with quick and rough or slow and sensual, but either way it’s going to be intimate. Thomas needs that emotional connection, wants to know you’re enjoying being with him.
🖤 - Dark or Angsty Headcanons
It only takes on traveler fighting back. There’s no doctor out in the middle of nowhere, no EMTs to save you.
And Thomas will hold you, press his big hand against your wounds. Though his mask you’ll see his wide, fearful eyes and he knows there’s nothing he can do.
If you reach for his mask he’ll pull it off, frantically shifting between trying to murmur soft, soothing things, kissing your face, and staring, disbelieving into your eyes.
‘Love you.’ He says- his voice is already ruined and strange with his scars and nose, but as his throat tightens it wobbles into truly unintelligible sniffling. ‘Love you, love you, always.’
You kiss him, touch his face- assure him that it’s not his fault.
But when you’re quiet, when you stop leaning into his touch and your eyes go far off and vacant, Thomas Hewitt dies with you.
🤍 - Pure, Fluffy Headcanons
He’s pretty warm, but I think he likes to cuddle with soft things so blanket thief. But if you’re around, you’ll do.
Can, will, and has stolen your stuffed animals so he can hold them
If he wakes up first (which is likely; the Hewitts are a good, industrious family of farmers so they’re likely up before dawn), he’ll spend quite a while just watching you sleep. He’s absolutely fascinated with and humbled by how you can be so relaxed and open with him.
🤎 - Random Headcanons
Luda Mae taught him to sew. He’s skilled enough he could make clothes or toys, but is somewhat embarrassed about being skilled in a feminine hobby-- but he will mend his own clothes, but he prefers his mama do it. Her stitches are still neater than his since he usually works with leather.
Secretly loves radio dramas, but doesn’t care much for trying to commandeer the radio from Hoyt or Luda.
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malxlawson · 4 years
Text
— && guests may mistake me as ( halsey ), but really i am ( amalia 'mal' lawson + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 8/6/1995 ). i am applying for the ( maintenance manager ) position as part of the EHP and would like to live in suite ( 202 ). i should be hired because i am ( + passionate, charismatic, thorough ), but i can also be ( - prideful, dramatic, argumentative ) at times. personally, i like to ( creating street art, volunteer community work, organizing protests ) when off the clock, but that won’t interfere with work. thank you for your consideration!
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aaaand here we come with our favorite revamped heathen! mal hasn’t had quite as much changed - just a nice lil face lift and we love that for her.
before we get super into it: we have a stats page and a pinterest for your viewing pleasure.
going a little heavy on the triggers just because i want to be sure to cover all my bases!! most everything is just a mention, but we gotta be safe kids! take care of yourselves and remember ilysm.
( pregnancy tw, miscarriage tw, police brutality mentions tw, substance abuse tw )
- amalia raelle lawson was born august 6th, 1995 to marshal and cherisse lawson in oakland, california.
- marshal owned a local bbq restaurant and cherisse was an er nurse. both grew up in rough neighborhoods with rough childhoods, but vowed to make their kids’ lives better than their own.
- three years after mal came into their lives, they had a son; jayden.
- from that day on, mal had a best friend and confidant that she’d go to the ends of the earth to keep by her side.
- their childhoods weren’t easy in the way most kids are - their mom worked long hours and their dad spent most of his days at the restaurant. when their parents were home though (if cherisse wasn’t sleeping off a shift change), they spent their time with their community - be it at the restaurant or at block parties - trying to better it in any way they could manage.
- police brutality mention tw despite their efforts, their community was still plagued by all the injustices every other predominantly black community faces. from a young age, mal learned that the justice system wasn’t built to serve her or the people she considered family.
- police brutality mention tw she was six the first time she heard about a family friend being a victim of excessive force; nine when she saw it. for years after that, she saw mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and cousins coming to mourn their loved ones - either locked up or taken from them too soon.
- instead of becoming numb to these tragedies, a fire was lit in amalia to change the system - even if she had to dismantle it one piece at a time.
- in the mean time, mal found an outlet for her emotions in art - specifically painting. she started with watercolors and crayolas, but once her parents realized her abilities were beyond what they should have been for a kind her age, they put whatever extra they could manage into mal and her passion for art.
- she was fourteen when she was introduced to street art - graffiti, if you want to get technical. his name was trey and amalia was instantly enamored by him. trey ran with a rougher crowd than mal was used to, but he softened around her.
- pregnancy tw they were young, in love, and reckless. she was fifteen when mal found out she was pregnant. while she wasn’t thrilled about becoming another statistic, she was thrilled about the idea of having a child.
- not entirely pleased with the situation, but always willing to support their children, mal’s parents welcomed trey into the family with open arms and began planning what was sure to be a life full of love for the newest addition to the lawson family.
- miscarriage tw three months into the pregnancy, amalia started to experience cramping and spotting. worried it may be something serious, she had her mom take her to the hospital. it was there they confirmed that mal was experiencing a miscarriage.
- everything changed after that. amalia was no longer the girl who wanted to fight the world’s injustices - she was just a girl who wanted to fight the world. she was angry and bitter at everyone and everything.
- substance abuse tw her relationship with trey quickly began to deteriorate and she turned, for the first time, to the rougher crew he hung out with. booze and drugs quickly became a way for mal to cope with the pain she carried around. she started small - cigarettes and pot - before graduating to the harder stuff, like coke and prescription pills.
- substance abuse tw skipping school to get loaded became a regular occurrence and when the truancy officers showed up at the lawson’s front door, her parents sat mal down for an at home intervention. for as much as they yelled and cried and offered treatment, amalia wasn’t hearing any of it. it wasn’t until jayden snuck into her room late one night to ask if he was going to lose mal like one of his friends had lost his older brother that mal realized her actions weren’t only effecting her life.
- miscarriage tw just before her junior year - with the help of her parents - mal decided it was best for her to leave public school and finish the rest of her schooling online. the same time she started online schooling, amalia started painting again. something she hadn’t done since she found out she’d miscarried.
- being able to stay home meant mal had the space and time to heal in her own ways. when she wasn’t doing school work, amalia was painting to help clear her head. it took some time, but she was finally able to tell her parents what she was going through, both mentally and physically.
- miscarriage tw after she miscarried, mal started to suffer from chronic period and pelvic pain, as well as painful intercourse. she’d also been suffering from symptoms of depression, all of which help lead her down the destructive path she’d gone down.
- several doctor trips later, mal was diagnosed with endometriosis and depression and quickly began treatments for both. despite starting treatments for her endometriosis, doctors told mal the likelihood of her conceiving again was highly unlikely. 
- mal hadn’t expected to hear at 16 that biological children may never be in her future and she was devastated, but she had her support system and their love and willingness to do whatever they could for her helped her cope in a much healthier way.
- by seventeen, amalia was feeling like her life was back on track, though drastically different than she’d imagined. she finished her diploma early and began working for her dad in the restaurant; serving, cooking, even helping fix things when they broke down. slowly but surely, mal mended her relationship with her parents and earned back their trust.
- one day, after some kids had vandalized the restaurant, marshal asked mal if she’d help cover the graffiti. jumping at the chance, amalia spent three days finishing her first big piece - which is still her favorite to this day - a portrait of her family and the community that kept the restaurant going. abstract and colorful, full of life and vibrancy, mal’s piece drew a lot of attention and several offers for her to commission other pieces.
- for the next three years, mal worked at the restaurant and took commissions when she could. life seemed normal again. she even reconnected with trey, mending the relationship that had been broken.
- the day trey proposed was the happiest day of mal’s life. she’d been beyond thrilled! after everything they’d been through, he still wanted to be with her. unfortunately, the bliss didn’t last. their engagement abruptly ended and mal decided it was best if she get away for a while, so as to not slip back into destructive patterns.
- a quick google search brought amalia to the malnati website and their employee housing program. applying was a no brainer and a month later she and jayden were packing their bags and moving to chicago.
- she started as a maid and, in the four years she’s been there, has moved up to the maintenance manager position.
hcs!
- when she’s not working, mal’s usually painting in her suite or sketching at one of the many parks in chicago during the day. at night, you’ll find her taking full advantage of chicago’s nightlife. night’s in for mal lawson are few and far between.
- drugs tw she skates a fine line when it comes to sobriety. she’s careful to drink or use just enough to be sure she’ll have a good time, but it’s a slippery slope. in the four years she’s been in chicago, mal’s slowly started doing more and more, telling herself she’s got a handle on it. truth be told, she’s teetering on the edge of a full blown problem again. 
- super into video games, but partial to anything involving zombies. mal loves a zombie - don’t ask me why. she’s usually down to play among us, valorant, fortnight, and is always down for a little animal crossing when she needs something more chill.
- 90′s hip hop & r&b are mal’s shiiiiiit. she’s at her happiest when she’s got a little tupac on in the background.
- also don’t you dare try to tell her he’s not alive in cuba somewhere living his best life. she ain’t havin’ it.
- when she’s angsty/sad/angry her go to playlist is a lot of punk, rock, grunge. especially of the 90′s persuasion. she stays on brand. her favorites are the offspring, nirvana, the foo fighters, soundgarden, stone temple pilots, the smashing pumpkins, sonic youth, and pixies.
- she’s gluten intolerant and vegetarian.
- mal is a cult classic movie kind of gal. donnie darko, pulp fiction, rocky horror are all on her list of favorites. she’s never going to turn down a good horror/thriller marathon, either.
- she plays a little piano and a little guitar. she picked them up after she started online schooling. she finds both relaxing. she’s by no means going to make a career out of it, but it’s fun!
- hella resting bitch face, but she really is super friendly! she just doesn’t always look it.
- don’t test her, though. she’s got attitude for days and she isn’t afraid to let you know what she thinks or how she feels about you. we ain’t got no time for games, okay?! okay.
- amalia has also very much immersed herself in community work since moving to chicago, especially on the south side. if her parents taught her anything growing up, it’s that she should give back the her community as much as she’s able.
- a lot of her street art celebrates women of color and their beauty. 
- not a fan of cops, still. soz pals.
- when it comes to work, she does her best to make the malnati a decent place to work. she’s all about positive reinforcement and making sure she takes care of her employees. she’s not gonna shy away from telling you ya fucked up, though. she’ll say it with love, though, while also calling you a giant pain in her ass. but with love. okay?! okay.
wanted connections!
- hook ups! : mal is a RAGING bisexual and is not at all afraid to make her appreciation for someone’s physical appearance known. just don’t expect to stay the night. once the deed is done you’ve got about thirty seconds to vacate mal’s suite.
- softies! : make. her. soft. give me someone who makes her break her no sleep over rule, pls and thank. she’s a stubborn, pain in the ass, and sassy af but someone who can make her melt? and act like a teenager in love again? all gooey and gross? yuh. pls.
- good influence! : someone she doesn’t have to drink and party with to have a good time! remind her that she misses things when she’s not sober - that the world is still beautiful and inspiring even when she’s not in a drug induced haze.
- chill baes! : drugs tw people mal just ~ v I b E s ~ with! probs smokin’ a decent amount of weed together. 
- protest pals! : people who are also involved in the community and social justice movements. they happily bail each other out of jail (or, more likely, sit in the back of a squad car together) and attend protests together. bc the buddy system. overthrow the government safely ty.
- rivals! : mal’s got a big mouth and some seriously controversial opinions. she’s not afraid to call people out for being ‘wrong’ and calling them...creative names. she’s bound to have a giant list of people who aren’t her biggest fans.
- bad girl’s club : need i say more? give. me. the girl gang. constantly partying and constantly getting into some kind of mischief and leaving a trail of broken hearts as they go. 
if you made it this far, you deserve SEVERAL high fives and literally all my love. ily all v much and uh, yuh. let’s plot pals. :)
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queenofthefaces · 4 years
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kyle for the character thing!!!!
Buckle up bc I’m extra af and love talking abt characters. Be aware this is like, entirely personal opinion and personal interpretation and also it’s almost 2am so LETS GO
1) sexuality hc: I’ve always really liked bi Kyle ahsjdkfk and tbh I’ve always found the idea of his attraction to other ppl really interesting
The way I characterize him is that he’s someone who’s like, typically very passive with his attraction. He’ll kind of glance at someone and think they’re attractive but he doesn’t necessarily have any strong feelings towards them or desire/drive to want to pursue anything with them. If he does want to pursue them it’s usually out of a sense of obligation or expectation—like a “well I might as well” or “this is what I’m supposed to do” kinda thing
Except Kyle DOES have exceptions—when he finds someone he feels passionately about, someone he’s emotionally and mentally invested in, it’s like 0-100 in terms of difference, bc suddenly he can’t stop thinking abt that person, how much he wants to be with them, etc. and a lot of that characterization, for me, falls in line w the specific ship I have for Kyle (which is obvious if you’ve followed me for a few but I’ll get Into That in the next section)
2) OTP: KYMAN by far my fave Kyle ship and one of my all time fave sp ships overall. I’ve always LOVED rivals/enemies to lovers ships that specifically have 1) characters who are equals 2) characters who are incredibly intimate and close w one another even if (or because of) it’s in the context of the rivalry 3) the characters have either some level of co-dependence or a need for the dynamic or one another in some way bc the relationship is fulfilling to them and bonus if 4) they’re the only ones that really understand each other
And I jus. Love that. Esp w kyman it’s so much fun taking that dynamic, the codependency and obsession, and just. Playing with it, on a storytelling/character analysis level. And then making it healthy, having them work through issues, bc the idea that “we’re both in way too deep with each other, we can either destroy each other or learn to get along” is jus 👌👌👌
And w kyman I love having Eric be Kyle’s exception. Kyle feels basically nothing towards his other s/o’s in contrast to how deeply he feels about Eric, and for Eric to have just as much depth of emotion in return. It’s fascinating and really fun esp when written from a kind of duo-redemptive story—they both start out toxic towards each other, and their relationship is toxic to other people, but they can’t bring themselves to put an end to it so they finally make it to that middle ground and come out as better peoole, together
This applies to a lot of my rivals/enemies to lovers ships but w kyman in particular there’s the added Funkiness of the childhood friends dynamic which is TASTEY like some nice sprinkles to jus add that extra Flavour. I love the concept of Kyle and Eric forming parts of their entire identities around each other from the time they were in diapers and everyone accepts that they’re always gonna he crazy for each other bc no one has the bond they do it’s so much fun
4) brotp: I should think more abt Kyle friendships tbh I don’t give those as much attention ahsjdkfkfk—tho I definitely have a soft spot for the super best friends kyle + Stan, I just have to work some development into it.
I love exploring their friendship as smth that deteriorates bc they grow apart as people, but then they realize they don’t WANT to grow apart and have to work to stay friends bc being friends isn’t as easy as it was when you were 8. It brings this really cool development that confronts Stan’s passivity towards his friends/his nihilism and Kyle’s entitlement and lack of emotional sensitivity and how they both need to make some compromises (but esp Kyle, bc I can see Stan as someone who tries very hard to not get much feedback).
In terms of Kyle being friends w other people I’m thinking it would be pretty situational. I can see Kyle getting some really eye opening perspectives from other ppl if he opens himself up to their views but that requires knocking Kyle down a few pegs lol, it’s fun to have him learn to recognize his own assumptions abt ppl and learning to value them as individuals yanno?
3) notp: honestly? Any other kyle ship. I can personally only see Kyle w Eric ahsjdkfk kyman endgame all the way. For me, a lot of other Kyle ships like, don’t make any sense, a lot in part bc I see Kyle as someone who has a lot of issues w socialization, entitlement, and selfishness along with his UNENDING OBSESSION w Eric Cartman (which also somewhat stems from those issues bc of Kyle’s sense of self identity vis a vis the rivalry)
Like, I can’t see Kyle sitting down and forming a meaningful romantic relationship w anyone else bc like, no one can provide the fulfillment, engagement, drive, and push/pull of Kyle’s relationship w Eric. Kyle would leave at the drop of a hat to confront smth Eric was doing and I don’t think he’d ever compromise with that. And someone who does compromise on that probably isn’t someone Kyle would want to be with in the long run.
I think the only ship I can see would be like, poly m4 bc that draws on pre-existing dynamics and doesn’t break or try to divy up Kyle’s attention. (Even tho like I said I don’t like Kyle w anyone else romantically)
5) 1st hc that pops in my head: my Kyle is autistic as fuck. Characterizing him as autistic gives a lot of insight into how his mind works and why he acts the way he does—a lot of his thought processes are just. What makes the most logical sense to him. It’s just that those trains of thought are on KYLES logic and that’s when he struggles to realize when he’s crossed a line or overstepped a boundary. Or how his brain is usually always “self-centered”—not in a morally negative way, just in that it’s not a natural reflect for him to remember other people.
And a ton of other things as well( including a fun hc of Kyle trying to use his autism as an excuse for being a dick, until Also Autistic Craig steps up like, no dude you’re just an asshole bc you’re not trying to do better). And bc as an autistic person, I really relate hard to Kyle to the point where if he were real I’d probably hate him bc we’d be too similar lmao; I think esp when I was a kid I acted a lot like Kyle—the self righteousness, the bossiness, the belief that my way was the only way that made sense and everyone else was just Wrong, the anger issues, etc.
It’s why I’m tough on Kyle a lot of the time, but it’s also why I love thinking abt his development, bc I know firsthand that he can mellow out, change, become a better, more wellrounded and emotionally aware person, and how he can make an effort into doing so
6) oh shit I didn’t even mean for this but obviously one way I relate to Kyle is the Above autistic hc and how I characterize him. Like I said, I acted a LOT like Kyle when I was a kid, so I know he’s an irritating little shit, but also brilliant and too thoughtful for his own good sometimes.
But another thing: I characterize Kyle as someone who is a natural leader, but hates being in official leadership positions. And this is also smth I’ve kinda written due to personal experience. But also from the way kyles often portrayed in canon—in the games, he’s always a support role, always a healer, ranged fighter, or someone who boosts and buffs allies
I see Kyle as the type of person who can easily take control in, for example, a group project situation, or when he’s hanging out with Stan and they’re only doing what Kyle wants to do bc Kyle comes up with all the ideas and Stan just goes along with them
But I can’t see Kyle as someone who’d want to be, like, student counsel president. (That’s more Wendy’s wheelhouse) Mostly bc there’s too much responsibility that it’s just exhausting, and more than that, those official positions are STIFLING. They run on someone else’s schedule and they’re creatively constructive. You can’t fully do your own thing bc you have to be constantly aware of how the group works and what the group wants. I can’t see Kyle as being happy in that position bc he’d get sick of having to conform his ideas to what other ppl want—he just wants to do his own thing.
So instead, Kyle would be more comfortable in a supporting role. Bc in a position like, for example, secretary or VP, he can still have a lot of influence, power, and knowledge, but he’s free from those restrictions that come from being the face of a group. And he’s also free from the social obligations of being a leader, esp in having to deal w other groups in like a business sort of way. AND if the group falls, Kyle won’t take as much of the blame, bc it’s probably not his fault anyways so why should everyone point fingers at him. It’s much less pressure.
(And it’s also kinda inspired by his role in the CBAA??—Cartman’s perfect in the CEO/face of the company position bc Cartman is comfortable with and relishes in the attention and social aspect of being the face/leader of a company, and Kyle can reap all the benefits of being a part of that company, including being an integral pillar of the company, w/o the deficits. If Eric and Kyle ran a company they’d work together, sure, but Eric would crumble without Kyle’s support, and Kyle would hate the stifling pressure of the head position, which makes them a perfect pair.)
(And again this is based on personal experience—I’m a natural leader. People listen to me, I can organize groups, and I’m a good mediator, but I hate when it becomes Official bc I can’t just. Do my own thing as I want to and it’s far too much to keep track of and most of it doesn’t interest me. It always irritated me when my parents tried to push me into like running for student president bc I just kept thinking abt all the work I’d have to do that I wouldn’t care abt)
7) what gives me secondhand embarrassment about Kyle? Well. Just......how much he reminds me of when I was a stupid kid. He’s such a little shit oh my god Kyle shut the fuck up YOURE NOT GHANDI. When Kyle’s being entitled and stuck up, when he thinks he’s better than other ppl, and when his own big mouth and pride are what fucks him over I’m just oh my god. Oh my GODDDDDD SHUT UPPPPP.
Mostly it’s secondhand embarrassment bc I’m jus oh my god ur an idiot—but again bc I know he has the ability to grow out of that and look back on himself with a grimace at how dumb he was ahsjdkfkfk
8) cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Definitely the latter, I love Kyle and I love when he’s happy and contented but him as a cinnamon roll kinda character feels so flat to me. I love him as a problematic fave he’s so much fun as a disaster. He’s complex—he’s tough and caring and angry and compassionate and an absolute fireball of EMOTIONS but he tries to act like he’s a logical rational person and I jus? He’s so much more fun and dynamic when he’s allowed to be messy
(Of course this is long why wouldn’t it be AHSJDKDKKFKGLGLH)
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coeurxdor · 5 years
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✮ ━ top three favorite muses that you’ve played♫ ━ a small playlist for a muse of your choiceღ ━ favorite canon ships for your muse(s). are there any you dislike?✄ ━ do you have any artistic abilities? If so, what can you do?
✮ ━ top three favorite muses that you’ve played 
dorcas is one of my favs lmao but her aside…. uhhh…  honestly i’m someone who generally creates a character for LIFE ( i’ve been writing some characters for nearly a decade now ) so… this isn’t easy. i’ll say  neal brar (oc), kitsey greyson (oc, i never get to write her and it’s such a shame), and valentina salgado (oc) ok fuck also tiberius ogden (oc) and malena bedford (oc) i can’t leave either of them out. 
 ✄ ━ do you have any artistic abilities? If so, what can you do?
[here]
ღ ━ favorite canon ships for your muse(s). are there any you dislike?
dorcas with any of the marauders like………………………. no thanks. never, thanks. ( MAYBE with james or peter in some au, but it’s a pretty massive maybe ). or like ships with death eaters that are completely random and have zero solid/logical foundations. 
otherwise, i’m super open with ships. i’m primarily plot based, even with my ships to be honest. i’ve been in situations where dorcas had chemistry with another character  but the plots me and the other player came up, ship-wise, just didn’t speak to me at all so even though we were supposed to “ship” because our characters had chemistry or w/e, i wasn’t really up for it.
i’ve had some nice ships with ocs from historical verses, modern royalty, and x-men verses. 
in the harry potter universe, i’ve had ships with a bunch of ocs and minor canons. think it, i’ve probably done it. i’ve had ships with muggle characters, death eaters (members or leaning), order members, journalists, diplomats, hit wizards, inventors, celebrities, etc.
all of these are old as shit and i haven’t talked to my partners in ages but thus far my most well plotted out + favourite ships/ship plots have been with:
gideon prewett - it was a friends turned lovers ship, but it was very complicated as it developed over the course of a solid 5 years and with the war gideon developed a drinking problem and there were many other mini sub-plots… it was… great, but MY kind of great with lots of character development and slow burn and it ended with them going “ok we can figure this out we’ll make a proper effort” and then gideon died like a week later lmao. ( we had a star wars au for this too )
evan rosier - met at school. they were just kids. he stopped talking to her when he was 12 because he found out she was a halfblood and she absolutely didn’t put up with his nonsense. two years later they had the chance to talk about it… and they were unable to stop talking since then, behind doors that is. they always had a very peculiar dynamic, meeting in the middle in certain aspects, being ruled by their education and backgrounds in others, and above all showing each other two very different perspectives of what would become a war ( and, in their own ways, they used the knowledge they got from each other as a sort of leverage later on - knowledge is power, so it goes ). after graduation they grew apart, then close again, then he tried to pull some really stupid things after he got married and their dynamic deteriorated considerably after that and as the war progressed. there was always going to be something there even if only given to how much they shared with each other, but i was very open about dorcas not having romantic feelings for him anymore ( and gd knows having them in the first place was an identity crisis as it was ) but my partner at the time told me he would continue to have feelings for her which made the whole dynamic even more interesting. there was always tension, and angst, and power dynamics and one time they did exchange war related information once ( they never said where their affiliations lied, but they didn’t need to at that point, to either of them it was blatantly clear ) but it was on a very particular case concerning the murder of a diplomat where both the order and the death eaters were being blamed when neither side had been involved. 
an oc auror  AND I APOLOGIZE BUT YOU’LL ALL HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ME WITH THIS ONE BC IT WAS ONE OF MY FAV DYNAMICS AND I LOVE AND MISS IT DEARLY. they met while she was still studying to be a healer, he asked her out she said yes but then life happened and they never did get to go on that date. fast-forward a year she’s working at the ministry as a secretary like five desks away from him, huffing at aurors and hit wizards for not filling their reports correctly and no she’s not going to bloody write them for you. he was awkward and self-conscious about it but there were no hard feelings about the failed date (dorcas had literally just joined the order so she had a lot on her plate anyway). very gradually they got talking, hooked up, it turned into a “oh no don’t worry about it it was nothing serious we were just blowing off some steam” which turned into “oh crap im falling in love” and eventually they started dating and it was the most wonderful thing in the world… and then like 6 months into it dorcas broke up with him because it was, like, early 1979 and every time they got together he ended up talking poorly of the order ( they broke up when, one day, he was trashing the order after, unbeknownst to him, the order had saved his ass and his partner’s ass and dorcas was just sitting there with the damn take out he had brought thinking “i really did this to myself huh fuck my entire life i have to end this”. they ended things abruptly and still very much in love. ) fast-forward some months he ends up reaching out to her somewhat awkwardly because he doesn’t know who to talk to ( he was a person of strong convictions but very private and he had grown very used to being able/feeling comfortable talking to her ). what did he want to get off his chest? that he had just discovered he had child. some 3 year old girl. the mother kept him in the dark about their daughter ( her reasons were that she didn’t think he was ever going to make a good father due to how much of a workaholic he was ) and he stumbled on the information. he ended up admitting to dorcas he desperately wanted to have a relationship with the child but didn’t know how to and long story short they started dating again, so painfully gradually and casually. dorcas wasn’t always present when he was with his daughter, but she was far from a stranger to the little girl. however, by mid 1980 the war was at its peak and dorcas was leading like 4 parallel lives and going to too many funerals - she was running on fumes and she did have an emotional breakdown once in front of him one time but it was after his daughter caught dragon pox and he assumed she was just overwhelmed and being sensitive ( he was so thrown off that while he was anxious himself he even went as far as cracking a joke about how she was the one who usually kept it together ). in early 1981 he started seeing his daughter more regularly, there was an unofficially joint custody thing going, and he wanted to take their relationship to the next level. not marriage by any means just, something more tangible and sure and clear, primarily because he didn’t want to have someone in his daughter’s life who would just not be in it for the long run. so they sat down and he told her everything that was going on inside his head, he said that it wasn’t that he didn’t trust her to be around he just needed to have the conversation with her… and dorcas was sitting there thinking “yes, this is something i want, this doesn’t scare me, this makes me happy, i love this person and i love that little girl like she was mine and i want to grow to love her and her father even more.” so she said she didn’t. she said she wasn’t interested; that he had read her wrong. she thought of the two broken ribs she had some weeks prior and how edgar and his wife and their children were six feet under. they parted away, never spoke again, and she was murdered like 5 months later in july/august. i shared ideas and hcs, but, as an active contributing writer, the story ended here for me. however, the way my former roleplay partner wrote what happened after dorcas’ death goes like this:years later, he ended up marrying the mother of his child ( they were able to reconnect in a healthy way because of how much character development he experienced while dating dorcas ). they had two other children.  around twenty years later, the dust of the second war settling and previously private information about both wars was gradually becoming public. one morning his eldest daughter was reading the newspaper and she casually asked mom and dad, sitting at the table with her, if they knew anyone who fought in the first war. they both mentioned a handful of hit wizards and aurors, and that was that - she closed the newspaper dismissively and left to meet with friends. it was summer. i can’t remember if it was later that day or the day after, but he asked her what had prompted her to ask such question and she said there was a face in the newspaper that seemed familiar. he asked her the name of the person, she couldn’t remember only that it was “funny but familiar”, and as she went to get the newspaper she continued that that neither he nor mom had said it. he got his glasses, she opened the newspaper for him in the multi-page article about new information from the first war and pointed at one of the several small moving photographs - the penny dropped as he recognized the face right away.a lot of things made sense after he found out dorcas was a member of the order, it was, in a way a relief for him to discover it because it filled in a lot of blanks ( and it made him feel better in the sense that no, he hadn’t been the problem in their relationship )… but on the other hand it was also highly bittersweet and conflicting, and he had more questions and about a thousand new feelings and emotions to process. the worst part was she had been dead for two decades so it wasn’t as thought he could talk to her about it. i think that ( i can’t remember ) at some point, in anger and frustration, he thought that she should have told him, and then he remembered what he was like and what his views of the order were and he was forced to admit to himself that if she had said anything to him, if she had trusted him with that information, his self from twenty years ago would have been highly judgmental and ended things immediately ( we had an au where this happened and it was the most horrible thing - it was right after an attack and they hadn’t even showered yet and dusted themselves off and he just told her to leave, didn’t even look her in the eye ). eventually he came to terms with her decisions and understood why she had made them and was able to tell his eldest daughter why the women in the photo looked familiar.
i don’t think i’ve had a single ship for dorcas, in any universe, where she ends up happy lmao bottoms up i don’t know how to write happy endings (unless it’s in aus) cheers.
♫ ━ a small playlist 
ok so im really really really realllly bad at playlists and i’ve already done one for dorcas here and i don’t want to make another lmao so can i make two mini ones for two of your characters instead?
for robb stark 
kids - mgmt 
fire - kasabian
everybody’s watching me -  the neighbourhood
seven nation army - the white stripes
howl - florence and the machine
afterlife - arcade fire
bonus: heads will roll - yeah yeah yeahs // pretty fly for a white guy - the offspring
for rose tyler
perfect places - lorde
run away with me - carly rae jepsen
the last of the real ones - fall out boy
drops of jupiter - train
adventure of a lifetime - coldplayp
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writing-yj · 6 years
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Impulse x Reader: Flowers from a Broken Heart~Hanahaki Disease AU
A/n: I know I mention her every time, but I found the Hanahaki Disease AU on @loudmouthwally ‘s blog! She wrote some Hanahaki disease fics/hcs for several DC characters, so go check those out!
Edit: I rushed the ending and this isn’t going to be too good because I wrote for than half of this a long time ago and I’m just now getting around to fishing it. So yeah, sorry if your eyes hurt  from the poor quality by the end of it!
Word Count: 5932 (Son of a biscuit, that’s a lot)
Warnings: It’s Hanahaki Disease + Ren, the Angst Queen. That’s all I need to say, honestly. That’s a warning all on its own.
In this version of the Hanahaki Disease AU, just moments before the Hanahaki victim dies, the name of the one they love is cut into the skin just beneath the collar bone. The victim is alive just long enough to see the name, or just the blood, before their next breath becomes their last.
“Hanahaki disease is an illness borne of one-sided love, causing flowers form and grow in the lungs of the unrequited, the petals coughed up with increasing frequency. If the love is not returned, the flowers filling the patients chest will eventually prove fatal.”
“You’re cheating!” You elbowed Bart’s shoulder as his fingers were moving in a blur on the video game controller. “I can’t move that fast!”
“You never said no powers, (Y/n).” Bart grinned. “So I don’t think this is considered cheating.” He definitely knew it was considered cheating.
You rolled your eyes, but you wore a small smirk. Nothing could make you mad at the boy you fell for. “Whatever, cheater. Your points don’t count.”
“What!?”
You snickered as you shot at his character. “Cheaters don’t get points.” Your character hid behind a crashed SUV to avoid Bart’s assault. “But I play fair, so I win by default.”
It was a rather childish banter, but it made your heart soar. Just talking to Bart and being around him made you happier than you ever dreamed of. He never irritated you or made you angry. The only way he can upset you is when he almost gets himself killed, which has happened more than once. You cared for him more than anyone else. That’s what you thought, anyway.
“She’s right, hermano.” Jaime said as he walked into the lounge and plopped down on the couch. “You’re definitely cheating.” He once went against Bart while playing a video game, and he got just as frustrated when Bart used his super speed in the middle of the game.
“You’re siding with her!?” Bart cried out as you killed his character. “I thought you cared about me!” He grumpily waited to respond whilst you and Jaime laughed.
Jaime nudged Bart with his foot. “Just because I agree that you’re cheating at a game does not mean I don’t care for you.” He gave him a warm smile.
“Aww,” You cooed. “That was adorable; same here, buddy.” You cared for him more than you wanted to admit. The feelings you had for him were stronger than what an average fourteen-year-old would feel.
“You two are a pair of saps, I swear.” Bart teased, and you failed to notice the caring look he and Jaime shared. “Jaime, grab a controller so I can kick your ass, too.”
“Excuse me, who’s the one kicking ass so far?”
“Shut up, (Y/n).”
Seeing Bart was always the highlight of your day. Conner and Cassie, your two closest friends on the team, didn’t mind when you rambled on and on about him; they found it rather cute. A love-struck girl was (almost) always an adorable one. And you were just so happy when you did, so that was another reason to enjoy it.
”And his eyes… They’re so green.” You said and you giggled. This kind of conversation was a regular occurrence.
Cassie chuckled with a smile. “Yup, you are definitely head-over-heels in love with this boy. No doubt about it.”
”Hush your mouth, you know being in love is dangerous.” You informed her with a light nudge. “Let’s just call it a harmless infatuation.”
You two had previously brought up the subject of Hanahaki Disease; a rare disease to come down with in this day and age. You stated that you wouldn’t want people to know about it, so you could continue to live your life, but Cassie attempted to reason with you at the time. She said she would want to know immediately, no matter what, and it didn’t take long for her to give up. You weren’t going to budge.
”Well, if it makes you feel better, I think Bart likes you back.” The blonde reassured you. “The way he acts around you looks like it’s in a more-than-friends way, if you ask me.”
You giggled again and your heart skipped a beat. “I sincerely hope you’re right, Cass.” You stood up from her bed with a stretch. “I might as well go see if he and Jaime are playing video games. Maybe even find out if you’re right.” You then bid her farewell, and you went on your way.
It was creepy how quiet you were when you walked. Someone would have to be listening for you specifically in order to know you were approaching. An unintentional talent, but one hundred percent useful.
You couldn’t get the young speedster out of your head as you headed toward the lounge. The main foundation of your friendship with Bart and Jaime was built off of playing video games together, and the activity took place almost every day.
You expected today to be no different, but you were far from being write. You were horribly wrong.
Your casual footsteps went unheard as you rounded the corner to the lounge. You heard their voices, and you were obviously excited to see them, but the sight you were met with made you freeze in your tracks. Your only made it not even a foot into the lounge when your heart stopped
It wasn’t hideous, or disgusting in the slightest, but it hurt. Bart’s hand was holding Jaime’s, their fingers weaved together as their eyes showed a great abundance of affection. They didn’t notice you, which you were thankful for, but you were spiraling into a pit of despair.
Bart leaned forward and gave Jaime a simple peck on the lips, and that sealed the deal. That was it. Bart wasn’t in love with you, not like you were with him. Jaime captured his loving heart first, and it destroyed you. Nothing was going to be the same.
In that moment, when you felt the flowers grow in your lungs, you knew your life was over. Done. Finished. There was no chance of you surviving. Surgery for anything wasn’t an option for your altered anatomy, let alone removing the blooming daisies in your lungs. All hope of becoming an adult was gone. The dream of being on the Justice League was crushed. The dream of one day having a family was never going to come true.
You were dying.
You booked it out of there before they could see you standing there, before they could see your tears and horrified face. Two boys in love with each other wasn’t the problem, you found nothing wrong with the concept, but it was too hard to believe it was real. The claws that gouged irreparable gashes in your heart laughed at your eventual demise. 
Resonance, the heroine with some of the most unique and extraordinarily powerful abilities, was done for.
In the following days, you were oh so slowly drifting away from Bart and Jaime. They kept their new relationship a secret from everyone else, and they obviously had no clue that you knew all about it. You didn’t tell them that.
Conner briefly suspected something was off about you when you asked him about the youngest case of Hanahaki Disease recorded. You never showed any interest in it before. Why now?
”I believe it was sixteen, back in the 90’s. Why do you ask?” The Kryptonian raised an eyebrow.
”Just curious.” You lied with a simple shrug. “Heard some people talking about it at school today.” And that was that. No more questions were asked, and all concerning behavior. 
Aside from you knowing that you were soon going to be the youngest case of Hanahaki Disease.
Cassie also noticed something was different. You almost completely stopped talking about Bart. It was the only dramatic change in such a short time period. She knew you weren’t okay.
”(Y/n), what’s going on? You’ve barely said anything about Bart in ages.”
You gave her a lie and a shrug, too. “I was thinking about what we were talking about the other day. There’s a risk of him not feeling the same way, and I want to make that risk disappear. The last thing I need is a bunch of flowers in my lungs.” And that was all you told her. There was still some suspicion, but nothing else was investigated.
The first bunch of petals came after not much more than a week. Daisy petals, they were. It was your favorite flower; a simple one, but you weren’t an extravagant person in the first place. They didn’t come in grand bunches. Not yet.
Over time, you started to close yourself off from the entire team; even Conner and Cassie. And worse, your skills during missions were gradually deteriorating. Nightwing picked up on it not long after, and it was a good thing you were only good at lying when under pressure.
”What’s going on, Resonance?” He asked you privately. “Your performance on the field hasn’t been doing so hot lately.” Nightwing’s tone was caring and concerned; the black and blue leader knew you for a longer period of time than most others. “Is there something wrong?”
You shook your head with a believable but faux smile. “I’ve been fine, just feeling a little under the weather lately. Nothing major.” That was one of the biggest lies you’ve spun in your entire life.
”This is nothing against you, but I believe it’s best for you to stay off missions for the time being. At least until you’re feeling better.” He gave you a small smile. “Wouldn’t want you or anyone else getting hurt.”
”Sounds reasonable to me.” Now there was a better excuse to stay away.
Another week passed. You were very sick now. You coughed a lot more often and it was getting increasingly harder to hide it, even more so to hide the startling amount of petals. But you managed to silence your coughs when you were around others. Your daisy petals went unseen, as did your presence. At this point everyone knew you weren’t feeling well, and no one was surprised you were refusing to get it checked. Due to your past, doctors and medical practice in general brought back too many bad memories.
You took some time in an empty Cave to sit in your usual spot on the couch in the lounge. You reminisced the times you played video games with Bart for hours on end. Sometimes you two fell asleep with the controllers still in your hands. The quiet chuckle brought a twinge of pain to your lungs, causing you to clutch your chest.
”(Y/n)!” Bart’s exclamation ripped your from your thoughts. “You haven’t been out here for weeks!” He felt quite sad throughout the time you were holed up and hiding from everyone.
”He’s right, hermana,” Jaime agreed with his boyfriend. “We never see you anymore.”
’If only I could tell you guys why…’
”Yeah, sorry about that,” Your voice was a little different from the last time you conversed with them. “I don’t want to get any of you guys sick.”
Bart’s face fell for a moment before he perked back up. “Aha! I know video games aren’t an actual medicine, but I bet they’ll make you feel a little better!” He sounded to excited and enthusiastic, you couldn’t say no.
The virtual battle between the three of you took your mind off of your unrequited love. It felt just like old times, far before daisies blossomed inside you. The familiar clicking of the game controllers, the usual complaints about all three of you using your abilities, and the groans of suffering from a loss were nostalgic and brought smiles to your faces. The long-time trio was back at it again…
But you could only pretend for so long.
Your sudden intense cough made the two boys jump. The rumble of it caused the flowers to quake and you fought hard to keep the petals at bay. It hurt you almost to the point of tears, but you refused to let them fall. That would surely prompt them force you to take a trip to the med bay. The daisy petal were violently trying to come out, much to your dismay.
“Jesus, (Y/n), are you okay?!” Bart asked, immediately looking you over. 
You waved him off. “Yeah I’m-” you coughed again. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about m-” The next cough had a couple petals fill your mouth. Your hand twitched on an instinct to remove them, but you had no choice but to swallow them. It wasn’t pleasant.
“No, you aren’t fine.” Jaime added. “Maybe you do need to go to the med bay.”
Your razor-sharp glare silenced the both of them. “I said I’m fine.” You growled, but that also caused some pain. Was talking even worth the pain anymore? You decided it was; there was no way in hell you would get out of a trip to the med bay if you stopped speaking to everyone.
For the first time in all your days of playing video games with them, you lost. You never lost at this game. Not even when you were giving minimal effort. It was either a win or a tie. This was unheard of. Your hands felt cold and clammy, and your hands were sweaty around the controller. Your health was deteriorating faster than you thought it would.
You all but dropped the controller as you got up quickly. You got dizzy for a few short seconds, but you kept going. “I need to go.”
The Resonance is very sick, Jaime Reyes. Medical attention is needed immediately.
“(Y/n), no! You need to go to the hospital; Scarab said-”
You turned your head to look at him at a speed that rivaled Bart’s. “Well you can tell your damn bug to shut the hell up!” You stormed off to your room, your lungs burning with a pain only a victim, such as yourself, would feel. It was Jaime’s fault you were dying in the first place. But just as soon as your anger began to form, an awful cough shot it down. 
You hated flowers. As a little girl, you loved flowers. You picked daisies and violets all the time. Although your mother was never appreciative of your efforts to make her happy, you enjoyed doing it anyway.
Now you wanted all of the flowers in the world to burn. You wanted them to light up in a glorious flame, never to infest another pair of lungs again. If only you wouldn’t die if you ripped your own chest open to get rid of those horrid, murderous flowers you now called weeds.
”(Y/n), until your condition has improved, you can stay behind operate the computer system if you are willing to do so.” Nightwing told you. You were definitely feeling useless and sickly as of late, and he wanted to give you something helpful to do.
”I’d be happy to, wing-a-ding.” You called him by a nickname you gave him with a lopsided grin. It was a relief to see you smiling again; it had been too long since the last time. You were happy to stay behind to work the computers. That way, no one would have to notice how hard it was getting to breathe.
You felt the flowers growing more each day; they were taking more and more space no matter how many petals came out. In order to mask it, your faked the movements of breathing, when you were instead breathing as little as possible. If you were an actress, you’d be in Hollywood in no time at all.
When you got back to your room to ‘take a nap’, you allowed yourself to cough again and again without interruption. You already had a broom, a dustpan, and a trash bin on the scene, but the piles of petals were not easy to conceal. If they even peeked out of the bin, you emptied it.
It felt like hours before something else happened. You saw specks of blood on the snowy white petals, and your time was drawing near. “I’m not ready yet!” You cried out and you slammed your fist down on your wooden desk. “I still have a life to live- don’t take me yet!”
There were several hard knocks on your door and you jumped. It was Cassie. “Are you alright in there, (Y/n)? Were you yelling?” She must have heard you. Only volume, but not your words.
”Yeah, I’m- I’m fine! I stubbed my toe, that’s all!”
She wasn’t quite convinced. “Well, I hope it feels better, because everyone is about to leave on a mission and I’m the one who is staying behind to watch you!” She sounded chipper around the end; spending time with her best friend was going to be great after such a while.
’You’ll just be on computer duty; it’ll be perfectly fine.’
With dread, you put your shoes back on as you swept up the petals, and hid the small amounts of blood. The pain in your heart and lungs worsened with each movement, but you were ignoring it and adjusting.
”I’ll meet you in the Mission Room!” You called out to her before grabbing the trash bin and you prepared to cough some more.
”Okay! See you there!”
The torrent of petals that followed, after her footsteps faded, were painful and more bloody. You weren’t going to allow it to keep you from doing your job.
You lightly trudged down the hall and out to the Mission Room, making yourself look as normal as possible. Like Nightwing said, you were to keep an eye on the computers and to monitor the mission when needed. You vaguely remember him saying that it was most likely going to be a rather quiet mission, and than you wouldn’t have to do too much, if not at all.
You relaxed in the chair, taking slow breaths in and out. It was the easiest way for you to breathe without pain, and you adjusted your posture as well. It was a lazy posture, but comfortable for you. Comfort was a rare thing, now that the Hanahaki Disease was progressing faster than you thought. 
You willingly listened to Cassie’s constant chatter; it was better than being alone. You missed hanging out with your dear friend, but she was going to find out sooner or later. You didn’t want to hurt her like this, or anyone else for that matter. Maybe dying alone would be best, but who knows when that would happen?
Nightwing was right; you barely had to touch the computer. It got a little boring, but hearing Cassie talk about things excitedly brought a small smile to your face. You liked smiling; you appreciated them more now than before your death certificate was signed.
“And I saw him again when we were leaving the movie theater. He was so dreamy!” Cassie went on and on about a cute guy she met at the movies. “He even gave me his number!”
“Then call it!” You exclaimed. “Take advantage of this opportunity before he thinks you aren’t interested anymore!”
“I will, I will! In the mean time, I think it would be a good idea to train.”
You didn’t like that idea.
Cassie could already hear your decline, but she wasn’t having it. “You’ve barely come out of your room since you started feeling sick! I’m sure exercise will help you feel better.
’It really won’t Cassie. It will change nothing.’
“No, Cassie, if anything, it’ll make feel worse.” 
“Just a few minutes?” That’s when she used her puppy face. When you first met her, her puppy face was downright awful. But then you taught her how it works, and now you regretted it. “Please?”
Of all the things to break me, it had to be that, didn’t it?
Your lungs screamed no, but your caring (but broken) heart said yes. “Fine, but only for a few minutes, alright?”
“Yup! Now get up, lets go!”
You knew you’d regret those few minutes. You didn’t have even half your reflexes, and your powers weren’t as strong anymore. The once bright glow of your eyes was dull and your movements were sluggish and pained.
“Come on, (Y/n), you can do better than that!”
You held your breath to cage the petals, but it was barely working. “Not really! I’m sick!”
Cassie wasn’t going to let up. “You just need to get your adrenaline pumping!” Even the fight or flight response from adrenaline wasn’t going to help.
You focused more on defense than the petals for a short while. Her flying swings and jumps whizzed by you as you dodged and ducked. It felt good to move around again. It felt like your days weren’t as numbered. The rush of pride came and made you smile, but a hard kick to the chest sent everything spiraling downward.
Instead of barely moving like you usually would, you were knocked off your feet and you slid across the floor. You vaguely heard Cassie yell your name and she was a little blurry as she knelt down beside you, but her harsh blow dislodged a sickening amount of blood and petals in your lungs.
You couldn’t hold them back.
You rolled over and coughed and hacked. You ignored the horror on her face as handful after handful of blood speckled daisy petals flew from your mouth and to the floor. Her crying and quiet wails were muffled to your ears. You felt numb as she helped you to your feet and into the chair. You couldn’t bear to look at her crying face, knowing that there would be more to come when the team returned.
Cassie’s eyes were still red and slightly puffy from tears. You didn’t look much different, but you felt numb. What was going to happen now? If anything, you two weren’t going to be the only ones crying.
One of Cassie’s tears fell and landed on your hand, unintentionally prompting another painful cough from you. She at first went to help you on instinct, until she remembered there was nothing she could do to help you. The sight of another bunch of daisy petals caused another quiet sob to wrack her chest, and you shakily put your hand over hers.
You mindlessly stared at the large and high-tech computer in front of you, but you weren’t concentrating on the information it displayed. Your mind was focused on all of the possible reactions from your teammates. Would they cry? Would they be angry? Would they yell at you? There was no way of knowing until they got back.
The whirring of the zeta tubes caused a fresh batch of salty tears to well up in your eyes. There was no way of hiding it now; petals already littered the floor around you. You couldn’t face them, no matter what you did, so your gaze remained on the screen.
You heard them chatter as they came back into the Cave, but everything and everyone went completely silent upon the sight before them. Petals surrounded you, some even with blood on them, and your posture was awful. They could hear your ragged breaths, and a small cough brought on a new wave of petals.
”(Y/n)!?”
”There’s something I… something I haven’t told you guys…”
Conner shook his head and took a step back. “No... No, this can’t be happening, you’re too young for this!”
“I’m sorry...” Your raspy voice wasn’t as loud as you wanted it to be. 
Bart stepped forward with big tears welling up. “Is this- is this why you’ve been avoiding us?” He couldn’t believe it. He prayed for it to be a hallucination. 
You saw Conner’s rage build up and explode in the blink of an eye. His hands clench into fists at his sides and there was a feral look in his eyes. “You!” He roared at Bart.
The poor speedster had no idea what he was talking about. He scrambled to get behind Jaime, who held his ground and his boyfriend’s shield. “Don’t you dare-”
“Conner!” You snapped and another short cough followed. “Don’t. It’s okay.”
Only you, Conner, and Cassie knew what the following (short) argument meant. It was all so confusing to everyone else, but you were okay with that. You didn’t want Bart to feel guilt, but it was inevitable. Conner was sure to say something about it after you die.
Many people came to see you after you were confined to your room. You didn’t want your petals to be removed, so your final minutes would be spent staring at the ceiling, it seemed. You asked someone for help (mainly Cassie and Barbara) when you needed to shower. It would take you forever to get there by yourself, and it would hurt more that way.
Nightwing visited a lot, telling you about the missions you would have loved to go on. Granted, it made you sad, but the way he described the action made it feel like you saw it yourself.
He didn’t need to ask who you fell in love with. He’s Nightwing, the first Robin and former protege of Batman. Of course he already knew. He might not have been able to see that you had Hanahaki Disease, but the cause was clear the moment everyone found out about your daises. It was easy to see that Bart and Jaime were hiding their own relationship; they were awful at  collectively keeping a secret. Nightwing made it a point to discuss it with them, but left you completely out of it.
Cassie was almost always at your side, but left you and Nightwing alone to talk. She only stopped talking unless you asked or if you needed something. Otherwise, she was (other than Nightwing) your eyes and ears in the outside world.
Conner... he was a different story. He was mostly quiet when you hung out. It was obvious that he was mourning; you wished he didn’t, but you couldn’t blame him. You’d be the same if he was in your position. Yes, he still conversed with you (you were on your death bed; he wanted to make the most of it), but seeing you coughing up bloody petals and overall just looking similar to a corpse was so, so hard for Conner. He didn’t want to let one of his best friends go.
The day Bart came to see you was one of your hardest. He had no idea what was going on. He had no idea that he was the cause, and he wouldn’t know until his name was sliced into your skin seconds before the light leaves your eyes. 
“I assume you know about, uh,” Bart scratched the back of his neck and blushed. He was embarrassed, that was easy to see.
“About you and Jaime?” You said in a monotone voice. Bart didn’t catch the bitter edge. “I’ve known you and Jaime for a long time, Bart, you’re my best friends.”
Bart couldn’t help but feel annoyed. “You could have fooled me.” His tone and manner surprised himself, but he didn’t apologize.
Your gaze snapped over to look at him. “...Excuse me?” You had a good idea at what he meant, but you weren’t entirely sure. That, and you believed he was out of line, especially in your situation. “What do you mean by that?”
“You’ve been acting cold towards us since weeks before we found out about how...” Bart couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Do you really expect me to not be upset!? You could have told us! You could have at least talked to us instead of ignoring us all the time!”
You weakly dug your fingers into the blanket. “I didn’t tell anyone, so I hope you don’t feel left out." If you still had your original strength, the entire mountain would hear your anger. “And are you speaking for the both of you? Or just for yourself?” You clenched your jaw. You were afraid this was going to happen, but you didn’t think it would’ve happened this late. Too late, you decided.
“All I’m trying to say is that you had no right to treat us like that! It doesn’t matter if you’re dying or not, you have no excuse!” Bart’s fuse was burning up. “Now look! You’re laying in a bed with a terminal disease, unable to spend time with your friends like you could have before! But you spent that time holes up in your room, hiding this and pushing us aside!”
“You must have some real hope and guts to be telling me this while I could easily be dead by morning,” The look on your face promised a very angry, brutal response, but a sudden cough took it all away. Bart jumped; he had yet to see one of your coughing fits, but this was one of the worse ones.
Daisy petals and blood spilled into your hands and your eyes watered. You couldn’t catch your breath no matter how hard you tried. When Bart reached out to you, you swatted his hand away. You didn’t want his help.
You felt a gust of wind and Bart was gone, but he and M’gann were back with you not long after. M’gann held you upright and helped you through it while Bart watched in terror. He never realized it was this bad. And he couldn’t believe himself; you weren’t capable of hanging out with him and Jaime even if you tried, and he was yelling at you for it?
You didn’t notice when he left because you were too focused on how much your heart (and lungs) hurt. Would this be the last conversation you had with him? Full of hateful and biting words?
Hell, you fell in love with Bart; was it really going to end in hate?
Your ever-ticking clock finally stopped. You felt it. You were in the middle of showering, and you felt your heart tell you. It tugged and pulled at you until you understood.
It’s time to go.
You didn’t want to leave. You had friends- family, that’s what they were. You had to help those you cannot help themselves; you had a world to save with your family. But those thoughts only lasted for a very short moment.
Then, you accepted it. You signed the contract when you fell in love, and you complied when your heart was broken. You knew the risks, and now you were paying the price. The choice was yours, and it led to your demise.
Your favorite memories flashed in your mind. You, Bart, and Jaime screeching at each other over a video game, wrestling over the last bag of Chicken Whizees, always having each other’s back on missions... And Bart’s eyes. No other set of eyes you’d ever seen were as green as his. They held a wonder no one else had. They were the window to the past Bart hid, the past you saw no matter how much he tried to deny it.
You were always there. He was always there. Jaime was always there. You were the iconic trio, and unstoppable trio, that would reduce to a duo in a minutes time. So much laughter and fun would be left in your wake, but the sorrow and agony that accompanied it would overshadow the light for so long.
The scans and readings you once provided wouldn’t ever be heard over the comms again. Your dry humor and witty comebacks would never lighten the mood again. The team would be down another important and loved member once again.
The beautiful white glow of Resonance’s eyes would be no more.
You’d only taken off your shirt when you fell to the floor. Your damp clothes clung to your skin, but you couldn’t feel it. You felt the cold tile floor and the water as it hit your dying body. Your vision blurred as you watched some daisy petals slip down the drain, and blood tainted the clear water.
Your five senses faded, one by one, as your life slowly slipped away. Suddenly, you heard the cutting of skin and the sharpest pain you ever felt flared from your chest.
You used all the strength you had left and looked down at the name carved into your skin. Sure enough, Bart’s full name was there, bleeding profusely. You chuckled quietly and your head gently fell back. 
The argument you had with Bart slipped away from you; you didn’t care about that anymore. You thought about his laugh, his smile, and his eye. You never got over his eyes. You always talked about them when you gushed about Bart to Cassie and Conner.
Your hearing dimmed until you heard nothing around you. As your eyelids drifted shut for the last time, all you saw were his beautiful green orbs. Your chest stuttered with a ragged inhale, and you exhaled slowly. A petal puffed from your lips as you let go of your final breath.
And you were gone.
Everyone had gone out on separate patrols for a few hours. There was suspicion of upcoming criminal activity, so no one could be too safe.
Nothing sounded safe about Cassie’s shrieks of despair. They echoed around the cave and it sent everyone sprinting towards the showers. Her shrieks came together as shrieks of your name. 
Conner was the first to run in and his face instantly crumbled. Your blood was all over the floor. Petals stuck to the damp floor while others swirled around in small puddles of water. He didn’t care that you were in just a bra and sleep shorts. Conner ran over to your body and he fell to his knees, splashing water and blood as he did so. Conner tried so hard to keep it in, but he slowly started to cry. Cassie wailed along with him as he pulled you into his arms. 
Nightwing stumbled and he put a hand on the wall, steadying himself as he shuddered. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to cry in front of the team, but it was damn near impossible. Nightwing was just about to go to your room to talk to you about the recent patrols and the reports, but he no longer could.
Bart saw you laying there and he shouted. He yelled and shouted and he started to break down. Why couldn’t he have said goodbye the right way? Instead of snapping at you and leaving without a word. Bart hated himself for it. He’d never been so angry at anything but himself.
Conner’s hand was shaking violently as he wiped the blood away from the fateful wound. He already knew what it was going to say, but he wantede Bart to see. Conner wanted Bart to see what he had done to you.
Bart turned paler than a ghost and didn’t react to Jaime’s sudden embrace. All he could see what his name cut into your skin, the name of what, or in this cae, who caused you to die. “It’s my... It’s my fault-!”
Conner looked up at the teenage speedster with all of the rage and fury in the world. “She always said you would be the death of her. Looks like she was right.”
Compared to my other Hanahaki fics, this one is c r a p I am so sorry. I wrote most of this like, at least a month ago and I’m just now finishing it, lmao. So that will explain why it isn’t very good and most likely repetitive/inconsistent
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itsgideon-garth · 6 years
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[ GIDEON GARTH (DAVINA CLAIRE’S FATHER)] WHO IS THE SPITTING IMAGE OF [ VIGGO MORTENSEN ] SEEMS TO HAVE GRACED NEW ORLEANS WITH THEIR PRESENCE. THEY ARE A [ 41/61 ] YEAR OLD [WITCH ]. IT IS KNOWN THAT THEY ARE [ BRAVE & RESOURCEFUL ] BUT ARE ALSO [ CLOSED OFF & SELF-SACRIFICING ]. WORD AROUND TOWN IS THAT THEY [ ARE NOT ] WORKING WITH THE CULT.
⚜ So I haven’t 100% fully fleshed out all parts & the many experiences Gideon has encountered along his story to make him the man he is today, but hey, that’s the beauty of plotting right? To make me delve further into my character and make up past experiences/stories and connections as I go along rping & plotting with all of you lovelies <3 So if anyone would like to plot a connection or anything at all, with Gideon, please feel free to fill up the heart on this post with some red XD ;)  ⚜
So Gideon comes form a very old & powerful family line of witches and his family also happens to be one of the oldest witch families to have settled in NOLA eversince it was founded.
His large family is very into their ancestral magic and they are quite uppity and proud folks. Some of them throughout the past century till now, were also said to be quite hedonistic and irresponsible when it came to using their magic esp on the vampires, the no.1 species whom they hated. And there were also rumors that a couple of the Garth family of witches, had dabbled quite deeply into dark magic, but till now, those were just rumors. 
However even from a young age of 7, gideon was a sharp, pretty perceptive and wise boy who didn’t hesitate from speaking his mind even in front of the elders and stating his pov/opinions of things. he disliked most of the principles, type of values and beliefs his large family and even his coven stood for & even disliked teh fact that they were all rooted in ancestral magic. The only thing he did like was the ability and powers of magic, the supernatural heritage of the city he grew up in and the ever-expanding knowledge about the supernatural world and the different types of supernatural species. So he studied hard, researched, and explored as much as he could about the supernatural species from his friends/ppl in the town & from the historical records from NOLA and even more so, the different forms and types of magic that were in existence. He thus also chose to invest &  practiced other types & forms of magic, apart from his family ancestral ones, due to his growing curiosity and interest. So all in all, you could say that he was considered “the black sheep” of the family, since he was sorta of the rebel against them and so vry different from most of his family members, as he was v responsible in using his magic, had a pure heart full of good intentions and nothing else, very upright and steadfast in his good moral values and principles and in summary, v straight and not crooked like most of his family members were, in which he had also labelled them as ‘hypocrites.’
When he blossomed into a teenager, his powers manifested even more and his magical abilities also began to increase tremendously. Eventually, his inexplicable surge of power and energy had not gone unnoticed by the people in his coven and family (his family belonged to a large coven consisting of 3 families) and tehy all started considering him as a possible candidate to be the next leader of their coven. His family members then began to coach & pressuring him into becoming the perfect coven leader as they saw it as another golden accomplishment for their family’s name and were proud of the fact that their family line were able to churn out leaders at almost every other generation. Gideon initially showed he was okay with it bcos he secretly wanted to learn from them how to advance, control and harness his burgeoning magical powers even further, but once he had learned as much as he could from them, he began to boldly show his dislike for his family’s kind of magical practices and also boldly show that he had no intention nor did he ever want to become his coven’s leader as he was against a lot of things that they believed to be right and condoned half the stuff they did which was based on their manipulative and slightly crooked beliefs.  One of which was the Harvest Ritual they believed in, and in which Gidoen was highkey skeptical & critical of when he first heard about it and in the end, he grew to hate it once he saw between the lines of matter. All the things which the coven and his family had done were mostly based on their ancestral magic beliefs and ancestral magic was the kind of magic which Gideon believed to be the key root problem to everything as well as anything negative that his families and the other witches of his coven did. When he was 17/18, he found out that he had natural affinity for nature and connection with the vast multitude of different species of plants, which then fueled his curiosity to research and learn more about this area of magic. He then gradually started to study herbalism as well as a few other areas linked to magical healing, as he felt that it would be a great way to help people with his powerful magical abilities and anyway, gideon’s objective all this while from childhood till now was to use his magic for good, to aid others and to keep the Balance in a purely righteous and morally upright way. 
He finally had enough of his family and coven by the age of 22 & was so sicken of them to this point, that he ran away from NOLA without a word to anyone so nobody would be able to track him down ever and covered himself with an extraordinarily powerful charm he had secretly created on his own for a few years already, that shielded him from being able to be tracked by blood magic or any other magical means of locating him. He has then never once returned back to NOLA till now.
About a year before he left however, he entered into a relationship with a St.Claire witch (davina’s mom), and while he was initially reall in love with her at first, but after 8 months into the relationship, he finally saw all of her true colors, and a lot of them(or half of them) were negative and clashed with his own moral beliefs and principles. ( im willing & open to discuss further about this part of her character & personality with any mun who wants to play davina’s mom as i don’t wanna limit or god-mod anybody’c character, so this is just ny own personal hc for now since we don’t have Madam St.Claire in the rp rn XD) Their relationship deteriorated after that, as he couldn’t convince her to widen her mind and see between the lines of the many negative parts of their ancestral magic and they also had many terrible arguments for the next 2 months. Finally and sadly realizing that the two of them were not suited for each other and they might possibly forever be clashing with each other, he decided that the healthiest, best & only course of action was for them to end their relationship and thus he determinedly broke up with her. He left town 2 months after their breakup and ofc didnt inform her about his leaving. So if davina’s mom were to come in, im leaving it open to the mun to decide if she had already knew she was pregnant just before he left or only found out about it afterwards, but either way, she really didn’t have a chance to tell Gidoen that she was pregnant with his child.   
He then travelled far and wide all around different states and eventually also different countries and parts of the world. And among his journey, he learnt hundreds of things, gained and widened his knowledge immensely, met all types of people, personalities, and species and had many impactful experiences which changed and molded him into the man and person he is today. It was during his travels that he further practiced and improve on his healing magic as well as herbal & traditional medicine which were pretty effective most of the time  whenever he aided in helping to heal people, as he had infused & blended them with magical properties. So he quietly become pretty known among many people as a good & effective healer and he always tried his upmost best to use his magical abilities to  help and save people who were being attacked by any supernatural beings with evil/bad intentions. The “part-time hired fighter” part of his occupation is indirectly more of a bodyguard/protector type of thing , where he selectively( & once in a while) allowed himself to be hired by any family or person,  needing some protection for a while against someone who had malicious intentions of harming them. And after 40 years of his nomadic travelling (as he nvr settled down longer than a few years at a place), he has finally returned to NOLA due to the disturbing news he had heard Inadu, her cult and all the problems that were happening as result of them , and he wanted to come here to aid the good side as much as he could.
His personality rn, is of a more discreet and quiet man, gentle with some people, v patient, compassionate, likes to keep to himself as often as possible whenever he is not helping people, subtly wary, sometimes a bit dry and pretty shrewd & likes to silently & secretly observe people by himself on the inside. He is also very firm on his morality & always wants to do the upright thing as often as possible, though throughout his many years of experiences, he had also come to the realization, that there were a few instances, where things had to be handled in a more grey manner rather then black and white for the best outcome. So it is only in those few particular times, he had to grimly blur the lines a tiny little bit and view things in shades of grey.                                                                                                                            
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jessicanjpa · 7 years
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Ooh, now I'm intrigued! Would you like to share some of your Jasper and Maria headcanons? How do you envision their relationship dynamic changing over time?
I still have those two separate headcanons about whether they were sexually involved (explained here)- basically, in my regular prequel headcanon (Tale of Years) they weren’t, and in my newer, SST headcanon they were.
In both, though, she tried (duh), but not immediately, because he was too unstable.  So in the yes-they-were-intimate headcanon, they were both incapable of really ever enjoying that intimacy- Maria, because I take her grief/vengeance trope at face value, and Jasper, because his gift was repulsed by Maria’s emotions surrounding said trope.  So their coupling was miserable anyway, didn’t happen often, and Jasper was super relieved when she cut him off after his betrayal of letting Peter run away.
Lately I’ve been more curious about Maria herself.  Like I said, I’m mean so I totally take her “vengeance is my life now” theme at face value. (also because subtlety and Maria are not acquainted and never will be)  I mean… what was she like before her mate was killed? I infer that she was “born” into the whole Southern Wars culture, but how warlike was she before she had her own personal vendetta?  I HC that she and her mate were both created by the same vampire and, being “raised” in that Southern Wars culture, both had a strong sense of filial loyalty to that creator, in a warped “military family” sense. I guess a lot would depend on whether their creator already had a vendetta going.  I assume so, since she seemed to be all about “reclaiming Monterrey” as a relatively young vampire, so again I infer there was already something going on vendetta-wise in her venomline before she was even created.  (I’m making a bunch of huge logic-jumps here, but how else would headcanon-forming be any fun?)
I also don’t know what to think about her mate.  I finally talked about her love/anger at him in my version of the Calgary incident, but like… how warlike was *he?  Would he really have wanted her to devote her existence to such a futile quest for vengeance? (Because I also HC that Maria is majorly stalling much like the Romanians are; this HC is explained more here)
The real question is: how would she feel if she finally achieved that vengeance, or if she was to learn that Lorenzo (the arch-enemy in my HC) had been killed already? I imagine a huge, burdens-rolling-away sense of relief, and it’s anyone’s guess what she would be left with.  According to SM’s rules, she’d have nothing left and be ready to die.  But there’s enough evidence to say that every vampire deals with grief differently, so… it’s possible she could return to whatever state she was in before the whole mess began.  Which could be totally indistinguishable from her current state, or the complete opposite.  What was she like, back as a human or Young Vampire In Love?  We’ll never know.  *Jasper will never know.  He asked back in the day, and quickly learned Not To Ask.  It irked him for a long time, since Maria was, for better and for worse, the most important person in his life, and he felt he couldn’t accurately deal with her without all the details.  Now that he has a new Most Important Person, he’s stopped caring. Mostly.
I generally assume that his sparing Maria’s life multiple times is mostly due to his gift, and the understanding it forces him into.  He’s been with her so long he’s felt every point of her Grief narrative, and totally understands why she’s the way she is.  And by the time he met her again in Calgary (and was given new reasons to kill her, but didn’t again), he had a mate of his own and understood even more. I think it’s up for debate whether he spares her out of spite, or out of pity, (in addition to a vestigial sense of affection/honor) but either way, by that time he was a Cullen and mercy is what Cullens are expected to do.  He was relatively new to the family at that time, and more impelled to prove that he could be what they (and more importantly, Alice) wanted him to be.  By the time Bella and Bree come around, he’s kind of over that.  Threats should be neutralized, and there’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t regret sparing Maria’s life back in Calgary.  He spent most of the Saga asking himself why he didn’t “Accidentally” kill Bella back before Edward reached the point of no return, so when Bree comes around he decides not to make the same mistake a third time. (referring to my HC that he totally “helped” Carlisle and Esme suddenly be okay with Bree’s execution)
Does he miss the Maria days now? I’m sure there’s some teeth-grinding, sarcastic “at least I didn’t have to sit in a damn high school” self-talk every other day, but in general, no way.  There’s a broader feeling that he misses feeling powerful, and important, and productive, and respected/feared by his soldiers and all that… but of course in retrospect he sees how much of that was a lie all along.   Because I HC that he really did believe Maria’s lies.  Sure, he spotted the holes and inconsistencies in her storytelling (and who knows what his gift picked up in terms of outright lying) but by that time he was already so wrapped up in Maria’s blood-approval-importance-blood feedback loop that he couldn’t comprehend living any other way.  By the time he understood the pattern (that his soldier’s lives didn’t matter and neither did his) he had several years’ worth of logic built upon the foundation of the Worldwide Vamp Wars totally existing (and his having seen enough to believe it).  In retrospect he had some evidence to the contrary, and he feels stupid and angry about the whole thing (and completely mystified that his gift let him fall for it), but to his credit, as a human he was unaware of the Southern Wars raging in his backyard, and yet here they are. (I hope to sorta-soon write a 1865 one-shot that connects the Galveston chapters to the 1941 chapters, and covers his newborn self-talk.)
But aside from Maria’s creativity, how much self-talk got him around to that logical foundation in the first place?  Who knows. In Tale of Years, he’ll never figure that out himself.  His sense of honor prefers to think that he was totally fooled, so that he doesn’t have to face the possibility that he *chose to stay in that life for 78 years.  He’d much rather sacrifice his pride. In SST Aro is totally going to pluck that (largely invented) self-talk out of his memory and throw it in his face. Anything to further dismantle Jasper’s self-image and rebuild it as suits him best.  He’s a little concerned about Jasper’s gift picking up on this process, but he’s encouraged by Maria’s success, and in any case Chelsea’s been busy.  Now Jasper’s logical foundation is that Aro Is A Good Leader, and everything will follow from that point.  For now.
Sorry, I’m off track again. How has Jasper/Maria shifted over time? It’s intriguing to note that Jasper’s relationship with her was kicked off *while she, Nettie, and Lucy were technically the joint leaders.  He had to choose, very early on, which one of those leaders he was going to support.  It was a foregone conclusion that he would choose Maria, but this had long-lasting effects in their working (and/or intimate) relationship, especially once he helped her destroy the other two. Maria’s fear of betrayal never left her after that, and despite Jasper’s show of loyalty there, he’s too wrapped up in that betrayal narrative to ever be separated from it, in her mind.  But he knew how to survive, and proved his loyalty often enough to keep her satisfied  Other than his continued slide into revulsion/depression over the decades, I don’t think a whole lot changed between them from then on until Peter’s desertion.  (though I confess that’s mainly because I haven’t written anything about those intervening years.)That was when Maria officially began to turn against Jasper and perform a paranoid dissection of every word that came out of his treacherous mouth. (more on this in the final scenes of SST chapter 1)  The five years that followed were basically a slow descent into well-founded mutual suspicion, and finally deteriorated into the assassination plots.  Enter Peter at the last minute as per the usual Twilight Coincidence Magic, and all is well.
And now they’re “friends”. Which… in this universe, is a pretty broad term, so I choose to interpret it as a polite, unspoken no-kill pact that was kicked off in Calgary. It continues to this day, and let’s not even get into the weirdness of Jasper thinking about asking Maria to come “help” in Eclipse.  I assume that blackmail was going to be the larger part of that AU subplot, which is apparently a standard part of the “Friend” thing too.
As far as the future goes… I’m curious if SM was heading toward some resolution of the Jasper/Maria plotline, sometime after BD?  I’m so curious about this, and 100% open to ideas.
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fireinclined · 6 years
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capella worldbuilding
capella’s closing off
about 47 years before capella’s destruction, the coup on ioavis occurred, which lead to it becoming a condemned planet. at the same time, there was a revolution on capella itself, as the government was nearing the end of what is called the “capellan cycle.” capellans have embraced the idea that no government remains uncorrupted forever, and so every 500-750 years, a revolution will take place where the old government will be torn down and a new one will be put in its place. however, the revolution failed, but was incredibly destructive, and it was this and the events on ioavis that led to capella pulling back all of it’s ships from wherever they were. no one was allowed to leave capella, and no one was allowed to come into it. this had a lot of effects on the rest of the galaxy, considering capella was like. a galactic superpower. the economy of pyrrah collapsed since capella wasn’t trading with them anymore, the situation on ioavis deteriorated more and more…and so on. a lot of people felt that this decision was not only unjust but also a betrayal of capellan values- they eat, breath, and sleep exploration, and to trap them on one planet? it was against everything capella stood for.
the language
the capellan language is just song. the vocabulary and grammar is easy enough to learn but the musical aspect makes it super hard to learn, because if you’re a half step off a note, then you’ve either changed the meaning entirely, or you’re saying with a very different tone that what you intended. because music is tied to phrases, instrumental capellan music can be used to suggest certain phrases or ideas. this could be used to communicate as well in a pinch. instead of speaking, one can whistle a tune and imply a certain phrase or command
what planet capella would be in real life
we humans know capella as kepler-442b! it’s an exoplanet orbiting kepler-442, which is located in the lyra constellation! it’s a k-type main-sequence star, which is actually really good, because they emit less ultra-violet radiation that harms dna and stuff.
the gravity on kepler-442b is 30% stronger than that of earth’s, which jives nicely with how capella has stronger gravity than earth’s. the temperature on kepler-442b is 233K, or −40 °C; −40 °F. which…admittedly that’s very low, even for how cold i wanted capella to be, but…i’ll take what i can get. another thing that irks me is that kepler-442b was discovered/identified as a planet that might be able to sustain life in january of 2015, and the way i write it, cassandra already knows about what humans call capella when she gets there.
ANOTHER thing that doesn’t match up is the distance from earth- in “in the morning” and perhaps even on this blog, i’ve said that capella is 10,000 light years from earth. kepler-442b is only 1,120 light years away. but this is something i can easily change- the important thing about capella’s distance from earth is that it has to be far enough away so that capellans really don’t give a shit about earth, and that it has to be greater than 30 years or so, so that capella is still visible from earth when cassandra gets there.
biological differences from humans
second eyelids- they’re to protect the eyes but also allow the capellan to see through it
four lungs, and larger chest cavity in general. ribs round out in the back a bit
more muscle mass
bones have a smaller radius and are denser
capellans can just barely float in water, since they are heavier than humans without necessarily being much bigger and their bones are denser. 
they’re fucking giants- cassandra is 6′5 and average height for a capellan. tall for a capellan is 7′5.
their blood is almost rusty looking bc there’s more oxygen in it
can grow back lost teeth
very high tolerance to alcohol 
capellans are very auditory based creatures- for example, hearing is to them what smell is to humans, taste wise. so the food has to be noisy when eaten to taste good
capella’s sun was either smaller or farther away (or both) than earth’s sun, so capellan eyes are more sensitive to  the sun’s rays, and cassandra (and all other capellans) have to use special eyedrops as well as wear sunglasses on particularly sunny days to protect their eyes.
capellan art
capellan art is usually 3d stuff- very rarely do capellans just sit and paint on a normal canvas. this is because of their inclinations! many famous capellan artists utilize their inclinations to create art, or create art based off their inclinations. fire inclined capellans will typically use their powers to melt and shape metal, or do something with pottery. ice inclined capellans will typically make huge ice sculptures- or really small and intricate stuff. they can also freeze off bits of rock- like how potholes are made?- and create sculptures that way.
light inclined capellans usually create huge structures or hanging mobiles made of glass that reflects light just so. and…unfortunately, life inclined capellans get the short end of the stick, since their inclination doesn’t really affect the environment the same way the other three do. however, life inclined capellans get a lot of props for being able to create amazing works without using an inclination.
anyway- this is why cassandra does like sculptures from the renaissance, but not really paintings. the only earth paintings cassandra really enjoys are more abstract ones or very colorful ones. cassandra does adore vincent van gogh, both for his subject matter and the colors and techniques in his paintings. but cassandra has a particular fondness for 3d art because that’s simply what art was on capella.
touch
since i just read a post about touch s.tarvation, i got thinking about capellans and touching. and thinking on how physically affectionate cassandra’s relationships with other capellans are, i’ve come to the conclusion that capellans are just very physically affectionate. like it takes less time for them to feel comfortable being physically affectionate with someone new, and platonic cuddling and kisses are super duper common. sharing a bed is something that’s often done by close friends or roommates, especially for comfort.
surviving off world capellans
it’d be silly if every single capellan in the universe was on capella while it was shut off- there are entire societies descended from capellan explorers on other planets, and when they settled on other planets varies. some groups have diverged pretty heavily from capellans born on capella, and some groups had kids with other species, creating new, hybrid species.
so there are groups of capellans or people descended from capellans sprinkled across the galaxy- cassandra runs into a few of these groups on her travels.
capellan merfolk
after my hc that capellans aren’t the best at floating & considering capellan seas are so stormy…capellans had to work with merfolk to survive on the seas. and i don’t know if i’ve mentioned this here or in my fic, but capellans sailed their seas before they sailed the stars.
capellan merfolk have huge 10 foot long tails and webbed hands with razor sharp claws on the end. they have super sharp teeth and tusks- honestly, capellan merfolk are kinda walrus like? and they have to be! to survive such frigid waters. they have a thick layer of fat to keep them warm, and the most beautiful voices. they originally came up with the capellan language, and taught it to capellans.
capellans and merfolk were very close, with a team of merfolk staying near capellan sailing ships to make sure everything went well, and capellans in turn providing merfolk with things that could only be found on the surface. the two species viewed each other as sisters on capella, and for a very long time, they were tight knit and everything was hunky dory
as capellans started to travel the stars, however…merfolk were left behind. without a lot of modification to capellan ships, merfolk couldn’t be brought on board. more and more, capellans turned away from merfolk  and the sea in favor of the stars.
there are plenty of planets that are completely covered in water, and on those missions, merfolk would be brought along to help however. and maybe a bunch of those merfolk stayed, or merfolk just…left capella. capellan merfolk do still exist on these aquatic planet, but have no real interest in going to new capella.
capellan griffins
capellans do have something akin to a griffin, except instead of being half eagle it is half owl, and is actually (ironically) quite small. it’s about the size of (normal earth) dog, and has snowy white feathers and fur to blend into it’s surroundings. they usually live by lakes and eat fish and small game. griffins, like most capellan birds, will move to be close to capellan people when they make their nests and lay eggs- this is in hopes that the fire inclined capellans will help them keep their eggs warm. because of this age old bond between species, there are huge nesting areas in most capellan cities. huge, glass domes with easy to access entrances for griffins and birds flying in, and a beautiful park inside. capellans are free to walk around and visits, so long as they don’t disturb the animals. fire inclined capellans will frequently volunteer at these parks, though the temperature is usually high enough on it’s own inside. griffins do imprint, so that’s something capellans have to be wary of, lest the griffins imprint on them.
volume
how loud you speak is determined at least partly by your air stream, and therefore the more air you can put behind it, the louder you can speak. so capellans, who have four lungs, can speak much, much louder than a human when they needs to.
i’d imagine cassandra already speaks a bit louder than normal, but i’ve always hc’d her as being a naturally loud person. but yes, when cassandra yells, it’s extremely loud and powerful.
the suffix -ndra
-ndra is the orphan’s suffix, but more specifically…its the suffix of the unwanted. only children who are given up at birth, are completely disowned from the family, or choose to cut ALL ties to their families have this suffix.
the reason that the suffix -ndra has a negative connotation to it is because…well, if a kid is born with the suffix -ndra, that means they were given up at birth, and while adults aren’t going to being mean about it- just the opposite, adults regard -ndra kids with a great deal of pity (which boils cassandra’s blood btw)- it’s kids that will tease and bully and make fun of. and this is…sadly frequent.
as they get older, however, the reason why they have the suffix -ndra isn’t so apparent. the other way to receive the suffix -ndra is to be disowned by your family and stripped of your family suffix. you have to REALLY fuck up to be disowned. but anyway- people will start viewing those with the suffix with suspicion. were they born with it, or were they stripped of their family suffix? most capellans with the suffix -ndra will take their partner’s suffix when they get married.
capellan war songs
there is such a thing called capellan war songs, and they work like this- you know you can sing-speak something in capellan only a certain number of ways. it’s a variation or small edits to the same musical phrase. in capellan war songs, what the music that the capellans are singing and the words that they’re saying don’t match up. so the music is what’s really important- they’re using that to suggest a specific phrase, but the words that are coming out of their mouth are inconsequential.
only someone who is fluent in capellan would be able to pick up on this, which is why it works so well when at war with non-capellans. no one wants to learn capellan
singing vs. speaking
capellans, as their language might suggest, adore music. the difference between speaking and singing in capellan in generally found repetition of phrases, and be a lot…smoother than regular speech. there is a particular…emotional component that separates speech from song, and this is generally the biggest factor.   this means that passionate speeches can quickly transform into powerful music if the speaker gets swept up by their emotion, and love confessions are generally considered to be song by default. it should be noted that because capellans are singing anyway, the transition into song isn’t…weird at all to them. it’s completely natural to them.
capellan festivals
at least three holidays celebrating the different inclinations
i say three, because the ice and fire inclinations are largely regarded as two halves of one whole, or at the very least, sister inclinations. they’re celebrated on the same day. 
i feel like this would be on the same level as mother’s day & father’s day? like “it’s time to appreciate your local life/light/fire/ice inclined capellan.”
you just take the time to let them know you appreciate them.
a capellan’s inclination is a huge part of their identity, and the four inclinations are a huge part of capellan culture and society 
a festival in the darkest, coldest part of winter
this is capella at it’s worst, and came about as a way to provide hope and light in the darkest part of the year
it’s four days long, and is a time to come together and share warmth and food and love
note: these are just the barebones. more will be added as i develop them.
not meant to live alone
i don’t think i’ve said this but…capellans aren’t meant to live alone. like humans, capellans are meant to live in groups and rely on each other. cassandra is very much an anomaly with regards to her situation - fire inclined and ice inclined capellans in particular need each other to balance themselves. so the way snowball will damn near give herself hypothermia when she uses her powers without her suit? not supposed to happen. the way cassandra brushes with death every time the center of her inclination shifts? not meant to be that way. their powers are not supposed to put themselves at risk because they are not meant to be living alone.
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