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the-last-cuddlebender · 4 years

Note

19, and you know I'm gonna ask for Kataang lol.......

Oh gawd I was dreading 19

Hurt/comfort prompt: (Kataang + #19: “Don’t touch me!”)

Even the Trees Remember (AO3)

Words: 1,990

Rating: T

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“He said it would make me forget!” Aang flung his arm, and another wave of reckless airbending cut through what remained of the tree. The winded blade gulped the air out of Katara’s ears in a strange way that made them pop. “He lied! Why did he lie to me?!”

Katara chased after him. It was hard to track Aang’s silhouette with only half a moon to light her way. Orange and yellow robes were her burning waypoint; churned earth and splintered tree corpses lined the warpath in Aang’s wake.

“Aang!”

Aang didn’t look at her. Katara wasn’t sure if he could even hear her. Crimson colored his face with furious sorrow; his every breath tore a howling cry from the wounded beast hiding in the cage of his soul.

“Sokka said it would make me forget, but it doesn’t! He lied! It doesn’t help anything!”

Aang staggered against a tree. He cut it down with a careless saber of wind that Katara had to duck for fear of losing her head. The tree groaned once, like it was bemoaning the Avatar’s betrayal of nature, before its severed half toppled through a dozen other canopies to the ground.

“Aang, you need to calm down! Please! You need to stop before you get hurt!”

Aang finally looked at her. His eyes, wide and wet and searching for something that wasn’t there, cut her open so deeply that Katara almost clutched her chest to stem the bleeding. Grief like she hadn’t seen since they visited the Southern Air Temple weighed Aang down in heavy chains. A mountain of self-loathing sat on his shoulders, and his broken heart poured rivers down his cheeks.

There was a pause in his destruction—Katara wasn’t going to pass up the chance. She approached him like he was a wild catdeer, and she tried to ignore the way he trembled and flinched from her every footstep like he really was one.

Aang’s voice was the squeak of a machine about to break. “Sokka...He said it would m-make me forget...” He curled into himself. “Sokka said...H-He said it would…He…so f-forget and…a-and...”

Katara hushed and cooed him, and she tried so very hard to suppress the bloodlust burning under her skin when she smelled the alcohol on his breath.

She was going to have words with her brother.

“Aang, it’s okay. You’re okay. Sokka is a moron and doesn’t know what he’s talking about. C’mere,” she offered her hand to him, “let’s go home, okay?”

“Can’t...Can’t go home…”

“Why not?”

“Can’t remember...Can’t remember home...Gyatso...I can’t remember…” Aang hugged himself, and it took every ounce of Katara’s restraint not to pull him into her arms. “I can’t forget, but I can’t remember, either. I can’t take it anymore. I want it to go away. I...I-I just—W-Were those good times even real? Is this even real?” He looked at her, begging her for something she couldn’t give him. His voice broke and shattered Katara’s heart. “Are you even real?”

Katara swallowed. “Oh, Aang…”

Aang dropped to his knees and cradled his head like a bomb was about to drop. “I wanna forget...I wanna forget so bad—I-I just can’t remember anymore…” He pressed his brow to the grass. “I’m trying...I-I’m trying…”

“Aang—”

“Don’t touch me!” He didn’t want to know the answer to whether or not she was real. He couldn’t take it if she wasn’t.

Katara swallowed the burning in her throat and steeled her shaky resolve into iron.

“Lemme—Lemme go!” Aang squirmed like a newborn and whined and flailed just as loudly, but Katara didn’t let up her grip under his arms. She dragged him to one of the trees he cut down and sat them like its fresh stump was a dining table.

“Look,” Katara said. Aang tried to get up, but Katara wouldn’t let go of his hand. “Look, Aang.”

“Look at what?” His voice was something worse than desperate. He slumped, the life and fight flushing out of him. “There’s nothin’ to see—I can’t remember—”

“You do remember.” Katara spoke as gently as she held his hand. Aang sniffled and made himself smaller than he was. Katara kissed his knuckles and massaged the tender belly of his palm—the most precious part of a bender—until his breathing slowed.

He didn’t stop crying. The burning knot in Katara’s throat didn’t stop growing, either.

“Oh, Aang…” She leaned over the stump so that her elbows rested on it. She held his hand in hers and peppered it with more kisses until he dragged his eyes up to hers.

His eyes were empty and endless like a dry well that stretched on forever.

He looked so alone.

So incredibly alone.

Like he had spent those hundred years in the ice awake and without even Appa to keep him company.

“I—I-I can’t remember, K’tara...I can’t...I can’t, but I can’t forget, either…”

Katara soothed him with gentle coos and hushes. “I know, sweetie. I know.” She held his hand tighter. “It hurts. I know it must hurt you so much it feels unbearable.” She cradled his face with her free hand. She tried to ignore the dagger in her heart that made every part of her ache when he first flinched, taking a second to recognize her touch before pressing so desperately into her that it wouldn’t be a stretch to believe that he hadn’t felt a loving touch in years. “But you do remember. You haven’t forgotten anything.”

Aang cocked his head like a hound to a high pitch. It would have been cute if it didn’t make Katara fight the urge to cry with him. “I...I haven’t?”

“No, you haven’t. Not really.” Katara tapped the rings lining the inner belly of the once large tree. “See this ring? And how narrow it is?”

“...m’yeah.”

“These rings are thin and remember a long drought. These rings are further apart and remember a bad flood.”

Katara moved Aang’s hand over the stump’s memories. He flinched when the pads of his fingers brushed the grainy, black knobs curling crooked lightning through the wood.

“This is a scar from a fire that burned through this forest a century ago. The scar is near the center—when the tree was very young—but the tree grew around it and made its scars a part of itself. From the outside, you could never tell that it happened, like maybe the tree forgot. But it remembers both all the good and all the bad. The bad didn’t stop it from growing.”

Aang wiped his eyes, and something more lost than thoughtful pinched his face in a scowl.

The night air hummed its silence, void of the many patterings of small animals and other creatures scared away from the Avatar’s grieving. Aang’s hand was cold in Katara’s. That wasn’t right at all. Aang was never cold, out or in.

Katara kissed his knuckles, reveled in the shadow of a smile she pulled from him, rubbed some warmth back into his fingers, and looked at him even though it made some part of her howl and claw her insides in its desperation to pull him closer.

Katara laid his hand flat on the stump of tree-rings and forest memories. She held his palm up and traced her finger down a dozen calluses and twice as many scars.

“See this?” Katara spoke softly and traced his palm even softer. Her voice was hushed and cloudy, her words warm and wrapping around him like a hug. “This is your love line. You see how deep it is, especially in the beginning?”

“...Yeah.”

“This over here is your life line. It’s just as deep in the beginning. They’re both broken in a few places, though. One a bit more than the other. But that’s okay. Look at the top, here. The lines double back over to compensate for the breaks, and they double and triple at the ends.” She tapped the tree’s rings. “See? Even the trees remember. And you do, too.”

“So...So I’m a tree?” Aang looked so incredibly lost, even though they were in his own home.

Katara laughed, the sound hollow and dying like a candle in a harsh breeze. “No, you dork, you’re not a tree. But you remember, just like they do.” She smiled, and the gesture called his out to play even though he didn’t understand why. “Nothing is ever forgotten or gone for good. I know you remember why, Aang.”

Now Aang looked truly lost and more desperate, but hopeful, than ever. “I...I do?”

Katara’s smile stretched a little wider as she curled his hand shut.

Aang blinked at her dumbly. He opened his fist like it was buried treasure he had stumbled upon. He nearly dropped the smooth little acorn resting between a callous and his life line.

Aang smiled. He sagged like a deflating war balloon, like his insides were more slush than bone. His heart tugged its seams back together, just a bit, and his mourning joy leaked over his cheeks.

Aang laughed. The bubbles of giggles were lost, knowing not where they came from or why, but they grew in volume just as he opened his posture like he was going to hug her.

But Katara was already at his side, brushing them together. He was still cold, so Katara scooted closer and warmed him with tender touches and even more tender words. Aang couldn’t hear them, but they dug into the deepest parts of him and soothed the wounded beast limping out of the cage of his soul. Katara nuzzled her face to his, and his widening smile and even louder laughs pulled out the coal searing a hole in her throat. Her broken heart danced when he returned her affections, and the corner of her soul that he had claimed for himself cuddled, like her, into the arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Katara laced her fingers with Aang’s and was gentle with him as though he were burned and bleeding. With her other hand, she guided him into a kiss, and her love line cradled the curve of his jaw.

Aang smiled like a supernova and had Katara tugged into the space between his legs and pulled flush against his chest in the next second. She laughed along with him. Or maybe he was laughing with her? It didn’t matter. Aang paraded his joy in small kisses on whatever his lips could reach.

Aang mumbled into her hair and held her tight like he might lose her. “Thank you, Katara.” His voice was quiet, like it was a thought he was sharing with her. “For everything.”

Katara wormed her way out of her Aang-cocoon just enough to kiss his cheek. “For you, my Forever Boy? Always.”

Aang pressed his smile to her temple, and his laugh shook into her from where they were pressed together. His glee was genuine and warmed Katara from head to toe like she was sitting in front of a fire during a blizzard.

Katara pulled his arms even tighter around herself, but, somehow, she made it feel like she was hugging and holding him, instead.

The night hummed its peace in a gentle buzz, holding an undercurrent of shy animals creeping back to their homes. Aang cuddled closer to his home, too, and Katara molded into him like she was a foundation that could protect him through any storm.

“I love you, you dork,” she said in a voice so quiet it reached Aang like a thought. “And I’m not going anywhere.” The pressure in the air grew lighter. Aang sagged like the brace forcing him to bend into something that he wasn’t was suddenly ripped away.

And then he smiled like being happy was what his face was built for.

And Katara’s kiss was a promise and a bandage all in one.

“I love you...And I’ll make sure you never forget it.”

************************************

(っ′∀`)っ(◞‸◟；) —> (ɔˆ ³(´∀｀c)

(okay I know this blows away my word cap, but I was on the brink of turning this into its own fic because screw a 1,000 word cap on this kind of prompt that dialogue line should be illegal...oof)

#kataang #aang #katara #avatar the last airbender #sweeties gonna sweet #hurt/comfort ask #Even the Trees Remember #itsmoonpeaches #myfanfictiontag #post

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twisted-nox-sidus · 4 years

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Hello there, I’ve just read your headcannon of Strix trolling the Octavinelle trio. LOL. Thank you for the laughs. Since April fool’s day is coming. If you have the time, can you do a scenario where Strix trolls the other dorms with the help of her dream eaters. If you can include Malleus, it’s okay. If not, I understand. Thank you and stay safe.

Anon continued: Hi there, during my previous post, I was asking whether or not Malleus would join Strix’s trolling in trolling the other dorms since April Fools is coming. Oh! I almost forgot, can Grim and Lilia join with Strix in trolling. Thank you and have a good day or night.

Oof, doing six other dorms is a lot in one post, so I’ll keep things condensed, hence the headcanon format (sorry if you really wanted a scenario version!). I see Malleus and Lilia as types to watch for entertainment than directly take part in it. Strix left Grim out of her plans since he himself is chaotic already. It was time for her to assume the lead and let it out, at least for the day.

It’s come to my attention that I like doing headcanons of Strix and her dream eaters, so I plan on doing more headcanons/scenarios involving the pesky but cute spirits. They don’t stop here so look forward to it! Happy April Fool’s~

Heartslabyul

Heartslabyul could handle strange things more so than any other dorms. Just not anything against the crimson tyrant’s 810 rules.

“WHO PAINTED THE ROSE MAZE BLUE?!!!”

Riddle’s face fumes as red as his hair. Not a single trace of red is found! There was only blue as far as the eye can see.

Deuce, Trey, and Cater were rendered speechless by the sight. Just...wow. They’re not even dreading the culprit’s fate at Riddle’s mercy; instead they’re impressed with the feat. Such commitment!

Meanwhile Ace was resisting from bursting in a fit of laughter. That madwoman actually did it! She even casually remarked about doing such a feat but no one had paid her words seriously. Bravo! Bra-freaking-vo!

Ah, speaking of...

“You have a lot of nerve showing your face, Strix! You must be begging for your head to roll! This is defying the Queen of Hearts herself! Repaint every single rose -by yourself- until all is red!”

“Sheesh, let’s not get a rage stroke. You’re still so young...” Strix nonchalantly yawns. “I wanted to surprise you so I spent the whole night painting every rose blue. Of course, I had a helping hand with me.”

She vaguely gestured to the dream spirit hiding behind her leg. Me Me Bunny’s ears act as another pair of hands, and this cutie is quite dextrous; it also knows “bun fu”.

“Oh you surprised me all right. [Surprise] is only an understatement!”

A sigh. “You don’t get it, Riddle. Think of it this way. Blue makes the red stand out. Then the only red rose we’ll see...is you, my queen.”

She leans forward to slip a strand of Riddle’s velvet red locks between her fingers and graze her lips on them. Her half-lidded bright blue eyes gaze into his steel gray pair. Perhaps she was still under the drowsy spell to comprehend what she was doing, though a part of her was knowingly teasing.

Riddle stared wide-eyed. His cheeks flushed in a different meaning this time.

She pulls back to give space and turns the other way.

“Plus, contrary to your words, I think you actually like my surprise. It’s certainly not boring. And it’ll only be for today.”

Strix flashed a lazy grin his way.

“Happy April Fool’s~”

Savanaclaw

Strix’s dream eaters are quirky, adorable, and colorful spirits. Jack often questions their capabilities. What can little prey do to the brawny hotheads of Savanaclaw?

A lot.

One day Strix was on patrol. Jack had been keeping an eye as she works part-time as the “cleaner” of Savanaclaw. Just how much power can she draw from these familiars? It was a test for Strix to see if she can meet the standards of a respectable magician in this academy.

Meanwhile Ruggie anticipates something interesting will happen. Strix’s dream eaters are an enigmatic force to reckon with. He himself certainly doesn’t plan on confronting them since that’s not what he signed up for as vice dorm leader.

The hyena snickered his trademark laugh. What mayhem will the prefect student do?

Strix had to break up a fight for the nth time this week. Things happened, and one of the students said something that forced Strix to deal her hand.

Instead of commanding her eagle and hawk to attack, she summoned a single chubby cat/dog hybrid with stubby legs. It doesn’t look like a clever beast.

Aww, look at it roll around and paw at air for affection while its pink tongue stuck out. They’re going to die of cuteness.

Strix blankly stared ahead. “Meow Wow... Balloon.”

Said spirit stood on all four legs and stopped wagging. Every onlooker watched as it inflated in size. It continued to grow and grow until no one could see the light of day. It was then everyone thought it’d be wise to run from immediate vicinity.

However it was too late when Meow Wow deflated in puffy smoke and sparkles, drowning its victims along with the plume of clouds.

Jack and Ruggie watched from a platform above where they could see the area in action.

“Magic familiar tamers have unique strengths...” Was what Jack concluded. A hawk and eagle’s cries pierce the sky.

Ruggie rubbed the back of his head. “Let’s be real; in this world, birds are a real hassle. As long as you don’t make an enemy of them...”

Strix was already gone by the time Meow Wow inflated. Her eagle dream spirit now willingly massive in size acted as her glider and transporter. Strix’s body dangled as she clung tightly to her Eaglider’s talons until it settled her on the balcony of a dorm room. Eaglider flew to patrol elsewhere alongside Halbird, the hawk dream eater.

Sitting on a chair was Leona playing with a chess piece in his hand. A chessboard was already set up on the table, the black side facing him.

“Enjoying your job, aren’t you.”

Strix allowed a sheepish smirk. She’s not exactly proud to engage in cleaning up people’s messes, but there’s the thrill she finds in it. “To be honest, yeah. I think I might be a sadist at this point...” She mumbled under her breath and continued, “Sorry for the wait. Let’s start.”

Scarabia

“Jamil, a rainbow fish is swimming through the skies!”

“Nonsense. There are no aquatic animals in Scarabia. You probably just saw a magic carpet.”

“Then how come no one told me magic carpets can shoot lasers??”

Before Jamil can decipher whatever the hell Kalim meant by that, the sapphire blue skies turned murky. No, that wasn’t the work of clouds.

To everyone’s bewilderment, they bared witness to a school of colorful fish roaming freely through the air and above the whole dormitory aimlessly.

Lasers shoot from their mouths and make contact with the other to cause sparks to erupt in colorful fireworks. So that’s the laser part...

Kalim’s eyes sparkled. “It’s like the aquariums at Octavinelle, but airborne! *gasp* I just got a great idea for the next party!”

“For the nth time Kalim no more parties this month!”

*whistle* “Fin Fatale’s actually enjoying this. Who’d knew?”

The two boys turn to see Strix approaching them causally.

Strix grinned. “Bet you don’t see this in Scarabia often.”

Pomefiore

Pomefiore students have a tendency to look into a mirror at almost any given opportunity. They recognize every detail of their their highly bestowed beauty, lest they would fail to maintain perfection.

Imagine their surprise when a carbon copy of themselves suddenly replaces their reflection, except in a horrendous eye-burning color palette that screams “clown”

Turns out the copy really is a clown creature with a large tongue. Jestabocky simply loves to prank people at the expense of their reactions, and it took a liking to Pomefiore students.

Strix giggled in amusement, much to Vil’s chagrin. Standing next to the man was a Vil duplicate, except in that hideous orange carrot and lemon yellow palette that made his eyes want to bleed. Of course no one could ever compare to the original, especially a circus mimic at that.

Rook was examining his blood red and ice blue carbon copy. What a refreshing change of pace! “Your dream eaters never cease to amaze, little owl.” “Don’t hunt them for sport though!”

Epel was staring at his clone awkwardly. Cotton candy hair and yellow eyes are an odd combination. And would it stop grinning uncharacteristically like that? It’s freaky.

Strix looks beside her. Teal green hair, violet eyes, and an orange to yellow uniform color scheme. It’s horrendous, but that’s where the fun lies. Her dream eaters don’t know the meaning of color coordination.

Ignihyde

Strix thinks a surprise here and there in the shut-in dorm leader’s life ought to keep him on his toes. She knows how much Ortho wants him to come out his room, and so she’ll deliver just that.

Idia recieved an alert message as he was browsing the net. A window pops up displaying the security camera footage across the entire Ignihyde dorm.

To his horror, rainbows invaded the cameras everywhere he looked. In each one there was a massive bipedal colorful panda doing something to the students behind the screen. One was lifting a student to the air, another swinging and cradling, and others generally giving bear hugs to any soul -dead or living- that enter their vision.

Though the pandas are harmless and students are unharmed (some seem to enjoy it while others are bewildered in shock), Idia was quaking in his chair. If he walks out the room he’ll be crushed by the pandas’ mercy! (And by rainbows and cuteness!)

He zoomed in one of the footages. A Kooma Panda held a sign directly to the camera.

[YOU’RE NEXT]

This is nightmare fuel! Nightmares, he tells you!

Just as he spun around to hide and cower in the safety of his blankets, he had failed to notice the looming shadow over his flaming head prior to this very moment.

There was the same panda. In his bedroom. Staring right into his soul.

It smiled. (I reread this part and lowkey I realized I was writing a FNaF fanfic for a moment wut)

Idia wheezed. How did it get here?! Was it capable of teleporting?!

The shut-in had never ran for the door to the outside world with such eagerness in his life up to now. He slammed the door open and was about to hit the breeze when suddenly he recognized Strix standing right in front of him.

He practically tackled the poor girl (oof). Just when he dreads the contact with the floor, he felt something bouncy push them off. And then the same bouncing source came from behind. Now he’s squeezed between something.

The world spun in his eyes. Light-hearted laughter snapped him out of his trance. His soul actually came close to leaving him the moment Strix’s face registered in his vision. So close!

Two Kooma Pandas were hugging and nuzzling the two in a human-dream eater sandwich. Awww.

From the sidelines, Ortho watched in awe. That’s one way to bring his big bro out of the room. He eagerly joins in the hug fest with Strix and an all-too drained Idia.

Strix giggled and wrapped her arms around Idia and the panda behind him. She was clearly enjoying this. “Happy April Fools~”

Diasomnia

First things first: Strix can’t fool two all mighty and powerful faeries. Instead, she’ll entertain them like she and her dream eaters have always done. After all, boredom is their kind’s biggest enemy.

One day, Diasomnia students were walking down the halls when they notice a colorful bat creature hanging upside down from the ceiling, innocently watching people pass by.

There was one Komory Bat. The next door over there are two. The door after that door appeared three. In front of the dorm gate there may or may not be a bat perched to greet students in and out.

In the library, students are surprised when they’re greeted by the librarian aid...who was working upside down and levitating with gravity magic.

Strix casually acts as though it was natural. When she had to move away from the counter she continued walking upside down on the ceiling. If the ceiling was too high she’d float over just above people’s heads, and address when needed.

Strix likes to mess with Sebek by doing a “handstand” on his broad shoulders while talking to Silver. Sebek would shoo her off and when he does, Strix still pesters him by floating with a mocking haughtiness behind the way she rocks back and forth while grinning mischievously. The sight is hilarious, much to Sebek’s chagrin.

She can see why Lilia likes doing this. By the end of the day though, that’s enough walking on ceilings for the year.

Strix greets Malleus at eye level. “How’d you like it? Not boring, right?”

The horned fae chuckled. The glimmer of accomplishment in her stunning blue eyes amuses him the most. Like a child who proudly boasts their little achievements to appeal to their parents. It was adorable. “Certainly.”

#twisted wonderland #my post #strix noctowl #anon #headcanon asks #diasomnia #heartslabyul #savanaclaw #ignihyde #pomefiore #scarabia #dream eater spirits

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

“she acts like summer and walks like rain”

The power goes out. What are three things that you have taken for granted? I mean, it depends how long it goes out for. I’ve only experienced that for a couple hours at most from what I can recall, so. Although, the worst to me is when it happens for any length of time during the summer because it instantly feels like a sauna in my house and it’s absolutely miserable. D: It happened a few times this past summer during a heat wave with triple digit temps... not fun. But yeah, that’s the only thing that really bothers me from my experience. I just mess around on my phone, play Animal Crossing, read, or just chill with the fam. My dad acts like it’s the end of the world lol like a couple minutes in he’s like, “what are we going to do for food?? I think we might have to get a hotel or something, we can’t stay here with no power.” lol.

Have you ever done the Polar Bear plunge on New Years? I’ve never done it and never would. Nooo thanks. I don’t swim or get into the ocean, lake, or river for one, for two, diving into freezing cold temperatures sounds horrific. It’d probably shock my body and kill me.

Name lyrics that include the word "baby" in them. “Oh baby, you got what I need, but you say I’m just a friend.”

You get to choose your middle name! It must begin with the letter H. Nah.

Have you ever had a Halloween party? Yeah. I had one when I was in like 2nd grade and invited kids from my class over. I had a few smaller, more just like hangouts, with my cousins or friend as well. The most recent was like 4 years ago. I’ve been to more Halloween parties than I’ve thrown, though.

Would you rather have a plant cactus or venus flytrap? A cactus.

Are you better at crosswords or word searches? I love word searches.

Would you rather have a water balloon fight or a paint ball fight? I’ve only had water balloon fights, back when I was a kid. I wouldn’t want to have either one now. Running around and getting hit with stuff just doesn’t sound fun. I don’t have the energy for all that. Also paint ball fights sound especially painful.

Do you like being told what to do? In some cases I might need a little push or can’t decide on something so I’ll sometimes ask someone what I should do. Doesn’t mean I’ll listen, but it can be helpful. I don’t like when someone tells me what to do as a command. I’m super stubborn, so being told to do something just makes me not want to do said thing even more, even if I already planned on doing it.

What would you do if you were attacked by thugs? If I was attacked by anyone I wouldn’t be able to do a whole lot.

Do you have a favorite word? I can never think of one on the spot when asked.

On what circumstances would you break up with someone? If they cheated on me I might, but I can’t say for sure. It would depend on a few things. I’d also like to think I would if there was abuse. I feel like I would, but I’ve never been in that situation and I know it’s not always that simple.

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? No.

What's your worst subject? Math was always my worst subject.

What are 3 things that make you happy? God, my family (including my doggo), and vacations.

“baby, let me be your last first kiss”

Have you ever been pampered? I get my hair done fairly regularly (not so much now... I can blame covid this year, but let’s be real the past few years I started slacking).

Are you going to force your kids to be in activity or let them choose? I don’t want to have kids; however, IF I did, I wouldn’t force them to. I would certainly encourage and support, but it’d be their decision. If they didn’t enjoy it, I wouldn’t push it. It should be enjoyable for them, not torture.

Do you watch Toddler and Tiaras? Nah, I never got into that.

What was the last band t-shirt you bought? Nirvana.

If someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say? Uh, no???

Are you passionate? I feel like I haven’t been passionate in years. Like, even things I like I don’t get as excited about like I used to. I just feel unmotivated and deflated.

Do you usually get nervous before taking a test? Always. I had major test anxiety.

True or false : Your middle name begins with the letter J False.

Are you more comfortable in public or in your house? Most definitely in my house. This is my safe, comfortable place where I’m not judged. My self-esteem has always been crap, but these past few years it’s been even worse. I’m very self-conscious. I also just don’t like being around a lot of people.

Do you own an old vintage typewriter? No.

Do you hate how dogs bark every time someone comes to your house? No, I want my doggo to do that. She’s not excessive about it, though. And she’s not a little yappy dog that barks when an ant walks by lol. My neighbor’s dogs bark a lot, feels like it goes on forever and it’s annoying.

What's a commercial that you cannot stand? I don’t pay much attention to commercials.

Mountain Dew or Dr. Pepper? Dr. Pepper.

Do you say "mate?" like Hello, mate! No.

What makes you rate a survey? I don’t rate them. I decide if I’m going to take a survey by skimming over the first few questions and seeing if they’re of interest to me and if I’ve already done it before (well, at least to see if I’ve done it recently).

“I can’t explain loneliness”

Do you drink Mountain Dew? I haven’t had it in probably like 10 years. I used to love the red and blue one. Oh, and I liked the AMP energy drinks Mountain Dew used to(?) have.

How many weddings have you been to? Three.

When you smile, are you confident? No.

Have you ever not done something because you were afraid of getting in trouble? Yeah.

Was the weather beautiful today? It’s finally been feeling like fall, which I love.

Do you have to have a fan on when you sleep? Yes. During the hot months I have 3 going at all times in my room. I still have 2 of them going even though I’ve been needing a blanket now. I love it, though. If I turned them off I know I’d get warm again. I’d love to have it be cold and need a blanket year round. Would you rather have an orange, red or gray bedroom? Out of those, I guess gray.

Would you ever dye part of your hair blue? No. I dye my hair red and I just want to keep it that color.

Have you ever gone to a private school? My UC is.

Is Finding Nemo a favorite movie of yours? No, but it’s cute.

Does/Did your school have a uniform? My preschool did. Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? It is on, it’s on MTV.

Does your house have security cameras? Yes.

What's your favorite Another Cinderella Story? The one with Hilary Duff.

Does a popsicle sound good right now? No. I’m not a popsicle kind of gal.

“0 of your friends are online - yup, I feel like a loser.”

Do you drink more water or juice? Definitely water. I don’t like juice, so I never drink it.

Sweater weather or tank top weather? Which do you prefer. Tank top weather all the way, no competition. I hate summer. I also don’t wear tank tops.

Do you always carry a purse with you? Not lately. The other day was the first time I had one, well it was my Baby Yoda mini backpack, in several months.

Do you update your Facebook relationship status when it changes? It’s never changed since making my Facebook in 2008 :X Joseph and I had our thing, but it wasn’t an official relationship. If I were to get in a relationship I wouldn’t rush to make it Facebook official cause who cares, like that wouldn’t be my first thought, but I could decide to change it at some point. Ha, maybe I would do it right away cause it’d be so surprising and shocking that I’d have to share it with everyone lmao.

Have you ever kissed a Zachary? Nope.

Do you hate when people try to embarrass you? Uh, being embarrassed certainly isn’t fun... I wouldn’t want someone to purposely try and embarrass me. Do you like in October when a bunch of haunted places open up? I like October for many Halloween-related reasons, but not for ghost walks or haunted houses - those aren’t really my thing. <<< Same, I don’t do all that.

Did you tell someone you loved them today? No.

Do you watch the show Ghost Adventures? I’ve never heard of it before. I’ve heard of Ghost Hunters - my father enjoys that show. <<< Ha, my dad really likes one of those as well; I forget which one. I’ve never gotten into shows like, though.

When it's dark, do you always tell someone to drive safe? No.

Are you love sick? No.

Do you want your own house someday? My family and I do. We’ve only ever rented.

What color are your curtains in your bedroom? Dark blue.

Are you superstitious? I do the knock on wood thing, but I think it’s just habit now.

Is there a cat in the room you're in right now? No, I don’t have a cat.

“it only takes a second to fall in love”

Have you ever read the book The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks? Nope.

Have your parents ever said you're ruining your life by dating someone? No.

Are you excited for anything? I’m looking forward to starting my Christmas shopping.

True or false : It's past 9:22 PM True, it’s 2:43AM.

Do you hate when artist change their music? No, not necessarily. It can be cool to see them try different genres. Does your house have a doorbell? Yep.

Would you ever name your car? *shrug*

What's worse : Two-faced people or fake people? Isn’t that the same thing?

Are you wearing a necklace? No. I haven’t worn a necklace in years.

Have you ever saved someone's life? No. Do you hate when your makeup smears? I always hated how my eyeliner smudged in the corners. I say “hated”, past tense, because I haven’t worn any makeup at all in like 3 years.

Are you good at giving advice? I think I kinda used to be, but not now. I was the one friends always came to. I used to also participate on teen message boards when I was like 12-14 and tried to offer advice and resources to people when I could. Sometimes I IMed with people who needed advice, too. That’s when I knew I wanted to help people in some way and it was in high school when I discovered what psychology/ a psychologist was. I majored and got my BA in it, too... now it’s just collecting dust and I don’t want to purse it anymore....

Have you gotten into any fights within the past week? No.

How often do you go to the kitchen? I don’t know.... probably like a handful of times.

Are you strong? Nope. Not mentally or emotionally, and certainly not physically.

“bring her back to serendipity”

When you choose your golf ball for put-put, what color do you pick? I’ve never played.

Have you ever ate the tip of a pencil? The eraser. No...

When was the last time you wore earrings? I got cute rose gold Minnie Mouse ones for Christmas last year and wore those for a couple months until they started messing with my ears for some reason. It was weird because it was like they were getting sucked into the hole? I’ve never had that happen.

You can dye your hair red or neon green. You pick? I already dye it red.

How many Juliet's do you know? I don’t know any.

What's your current mood? I don’t feel well.

What time is it? 2:55AM. Do you own any colored pants? No.

What color of eye shadow do you wear? I haven’t worn eyeshadow in several years.

Hamburger or steak? Hamburger, definitely. I don’t like steak.

When was the last time you ran through a sprinkler? Not since I was a kid.

Can you do a cartwheel? No.

Do you believe you have the perfect parents? No one is perfect, but my parents are quite amazing.

Do you own any Converse? I still have one pair. I used to have a few.

How tall are you? 5′4.

“Right now, I just wish you were here.”

Would you ever try a workout video? Or have you? Maybe a fun dance one if it involved a lot of arm movements that I could do. Do you like your ice cream in a cup or cone? It’s gotta be a cup or waffle bowl for me cause I take too long to finish my ice cream and it gets super messy otherwise.

Are fireworks your favorite things ever? I like how pretty they are, but I definitely don’t enjoy the sound that they make. <<< Ugh, saaaame. I hate the sound.

Is your cat orange? As I’ve said, I don’t have a cat.

Is anything in the room your in striped? My Adidas have 3 stripes on both sides.

What song do you hear playing? I’m not listening to music.

Have you ever found a four leaf clover? Yeah. Back in elementary school we used to hunt for ‘em on St. Patrick’s Day.

Do you think you've been in love? I believe so. Twice.

Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet? In the 9th grade, we were required to in English class. <<< Yep.

Were you ever in the plays in school? No.

Whose eyes do you have? Pretty sure they’re my own. Haaaa. My eyes are the same color as my mom’s.

When was the last time you bought a pair of new shoes? I haven’t bought my own in a long time. I often get a new pair for my birthday and/or Christmas from my parents, usually my dad. He’s a total shoe guy, so he likes to buy shoes quite a bit for himself and as gifts for my family and I.

How many gray shirts do you have? I don’t know; a few.

Have you ever cried because you missed someone so much? Yes. Especially after the death of loved ones.

Do you hate waiting for things? I’m very impatient. Waiting makes me nervous and anxious.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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shunbunnohi · 5 years

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Oct. 19: Kawagoe Matsuri

Today was a really fun day! We went to Kawagoe Matsuri! My friends and I rented kimonos to wear, and we got our hair done to match! I recently bleached my hair because I’m going to redye it green for Halloween, so it’s bright yellow right now. My kimono was a nice orange-gold color with a floral design, and hints of purple, red, and green. My obi was purple with a purple-red rope (I don’t quite recall the name of it) and my hair was in a bun with two braids on the sides! The decorations were several pearl bobby pins and red, purple, and yellow flowers. I had a red and yellow basket bag that surprisingly held a lot of my stuff, although it was a bit inconvenient. My shoes were gold with a pink gradient on the straps.

The shoes were really hard to walk in, and honestly I think platforms might be easier. They were uncomfortable and my feet quickly started to hurt, but I got through the day! The kimono wasn’t as tight/uncomfortable as people said that it would be, although I can understand why some people wouldn’t like it. As with yukata, I like that you can hold things in the sleeves. The hardest part was probably the shoes. My head also started to hurt cause my hair was still wet from my shower and it made it even heavier. Although I guess having bangs now might have eased the pain a little bit.

We stayed in the kimono from 12 to around 3PM! We went around the festival in them and it was really fun, although I felt very overwhelmed at times. My friends also looked really pretty, and I enjoyed taking pictures! Speaking of which, a lot of people came and took pictures of us. Some didn’t even ask. I don’t know what they’ll do with those pictures of us but... oh well I guess? Foreigners’ consent doesn’t matter I guess lol

When we were walking around, I started off by buying some shave ice! It was really good, although it was a bit unfamiliar to me. They didn’t press it down like they do in Hawaii, so the ice very easily fell off the sides. It was also a pour your own syrup kind of deal, and some of the faucets were very hard to work. I was also still getting used to the kimono and the way it moved/the way I could move in it, and I was trying to be careful not to mess it up. It was really good and tasted a lot like home!

Next we saw a little fishing game. Like, literal goldfish. There was a big tank with actual fish swimming around inside. The lady gave you a little metal bowl and a small net (it was made out of what looked like rice paper or something, so it was very thin and broke very easily once it was wet) but you could keep any fish you managed to catch. Some people were very good and had multiple fish in their bowl, and some people couldn’t get the hang of it and it broke on their first try. Nonetheless, it looked like they were given a fish anyway. I didn’t try it because of the whole ordeal of owning a pet...

Next, my friend bought what looked like a cheesestick corndog. I didn’t try it, but she seemed to like it. We met up at Starbucks and took some pictures in their little garden (even though apparently we weren’t supposed to. Oops?). We met up with the rest of the group and began to walk around again.

We saw a stand selling “baby castella” which were tiny little castella that were shaped like tiny eggs! Like, they were about the size of quail eggs! Very cute! I wanted to buy some, but I decided not to because I wanted to save my money. My friend also saw a kabuto mushi balloon that was being sold, but they made the eyes big anime eyes instead of the cute round eyes that real kabuto mushi have. It was also $15, so I didn’t buy it. Although... I might go back to tomorrow and cave... but I don’t know. The face and the eyes are the cutest part of the kabuto mushi and the balloon didn’t look right! They don't have an iris or a pupil; they just have orbs! And that’s what’s cutest!

Finally, we met up again at the station to join the rest of the group and hung out there for a bit. We walked around and I finally caved and bought a chocolate banana. It was super cute! However, I somehow forgot there was a banana in there and I was basically eating a weird mushy banana that was sitting out for a while, just covered in chocolate. I couldn’t even taste the chocolate. If anything, it just added to the texture, but nothing to the taste. I guess it was worth the experience. I also bought some yakisoba! It was really good, and I wanted to try more from another stand, but I didn’t get the chance to. I also wanted to try the chocolate covered waffle, but I also didn’t get to buy that either.

I came across a water yoyo stand, which are kinda like water balloons, but they’re not meant to break. I was able to get two of them, one red and one purple, my two favorite colors! Honestly, the water yoyos are some of my favorite things about matsuri events. I think they’re very cute. We also saw multiple animals! There was a cute dog that was sitting politely on a stool for people to take pictures, and we saw a little black rabbit on a leash! They were both very cute.

Finally, it was time to change out of the kimono. We were all pretty tired of it, and since my feet hurt to badly I was really not opposed. I was excited to be back in comfortable clothes again. My feet were hurting and my head was starting to pound. However! It was still a wonderful experience!

We then moved to the huge garage where the dashi was being held. The dashi is like a big float with a shrine (?) on top of it, and it has dancers and instrumentalists inside. There were two shime, one tiny taiko drum, a flute which I think is called a nohkan, a gold percussion instrument which I hate that I’ve forgotten the name for, and a dancer. Things were a little unclear for a while, but eventually we went inside a tent and were served candy, tea, and our bentos! We were given sashes and pins to wear to show we were helpers.

We waited for another three hours or so before we were actually able to pull the floats. I fell asleep for a bit and played a lot of Animal Crossing. When we finally got to the floats, however, it was so magical. The lanterns and the light looked so pretty as it got dark. It was around 7:30, so the sun had already set. The chanting, the rhythm of the drums, and the atmosphere was all energizing and somehow calming at the same time.

We pulled the float for about three hours. Every time that our float came across another float, we would stop, and the dancers would dance at each other for a bit. None of us really knew what they were doing, but we seemed to come to a conclusion that they were fighting. Like a rap battle of sorts. All the floats had different color schemes, costumes, and most of all, sort of deity figures that popped out of the top. The upper level of the float as well as the figure could sink in and rise out of the base. Ours was a fluffy haired kami (?) with red around the eyes. Our float had green, red, and white woven in the ropes that we were pulling, and we were all holding lanterns.

It was so beautiful to be part of the float experience. I loved watching all the other floats as they passed by and listening to the music. We were chanting for almost the entire three hours that we were pulling the float, and we’ll see tomorrow if my voice holds up. It should, because it’d be embarrassing if I didn’t know how to chant after being a caller in paddling and a taiko drummer for several years.

There were also a ton of kids helping out. It was cute to hear them chanting along with everyone else. There was also a very cute drummer on another float, but I only got to see them a couple times. :( As the night dragged on, things got more and more active. We turned the float around a couple of times, which involved everyone running around to the other side and the helpers pushing it so that it would turn. Also, at intersections, instead of just two floats facing off, three or four would just park there and dance for several minutes before we could get moving again.

We ended the night thirty minutes later than we originally planned to. We were all very tired. I started to get a headache again, but luckily it didn’t stick around. I’m thinking of going back tomorrow with my friend, but we haven’t made any official decisions yet.

#jsp journal

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samshinecrossing · 4 years

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Day 14 – Cherry Blossoms Begin

Wednesday April 1st, 2020