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tooruluv · 4 years

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Tobio Kageyama x F!Reader ( part 9 )

❝ goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished, but the book is closed. tell me, have we started a new one? ❞

description: it had been years since you and kageyama broke up. it had been years since the two of you left each other, hatred brewing. fate works in funny ways, you thought, as you caught his eye across the café. love works in funny ways, you thought, as you woke up in his bed the next morning, his fiance calling his phone.

genre: forbidden love, cheating, ex lovers, (all characters are aged up)

word count: 2,109

warnings/notes: im so sorry for the delayed update!! midterms have been kicking my ass. anyway. only one part left!

tag list: @kara-grayson04 @sadhwstudent @unlikelytigerqueen @kageyamavibes @monviemoo @tazzi-baby @1800xibal @amirahroronoa @lozzybowe @stinkybitch1919 @sillykittt @pinknugget @celamoon @bokutosworld @elianetsantana @chao01248 @vhskenma @yoitsseulgi @milegonzalez96 @doremifa-so-fucking-done @cuddlejeongin @yeahhemmings- @melanieacademy @killuaking @animewhore28

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The second that the words left Oikawa’s mouth, he was paralyzed. He hadn’t expected to say it. His eyes were wide, skin flushed and mouth agape. Surprise and regret immediately masked his anger.

He couldn’t even move as you turned and left.

Let’s paint the picture, shall we? You, a girl who still had an incredible amount of love for your ex boyfriend to the extent that you were comfortable being the mistress in his affair. Kageyama, said ex boyfriend who still had a lot of unresolved feelings for you to the point where he had considered (on more than one account) disregarding his entire upcoming wedding. And Oikawa, your best friend and fuck buddy for the past five plus years who had just accidentally revealed that he was, in fact, in love with you.

Let’s just say that you walked a lot that day.

You walked through the city until the sky turned dark. You walked along the neon lights, through the park, and back into the city streets. You walked near the water, you walked past hundreds of people. It was incredibly melodramatic.

It wasn’t until you realized that you were actually tired, and your feet hurt, that you sat on a bench. It was pretty secluded. The bench sat facing the water, the city behind it, and you did nothing but sit.

A body sat beside yours, on the complete opposite side of the bench with as much space as possible between you. You almost giggled to yourself, despite everything.

“Hey.” The person spoke, and you knew who it was. There was only one person on the face of the earth that would take it upon themselves to be that respectful to sit on the opposite side of the bench you were sitting alone at, at night.

“Hey, Hinata.” You looked up at him. He’d grown a lot since high school.

“You found my bench.”

“Your bench?”

He chuckled, making you smile. “No, not my bench. But the bench I like to sit at when I have a lot to think about.”

“So, you would sit and think about volleyball on this bench?”

“Yeah.” He smiled brightly. There’s something about Shoyo Hinata that made it impossible not to smile. “It’s really pretty here. And there’s a lot of good food behind us.”

You turned back to the water, eyes scanning for answers.

“I’m still in love with Kageyama.” You told him.

“I know.”

“And Oikawa just told me that he was in love with me.”

“Wait, really? Finally!” He stopped himself. “I mean. I knew that, too.”

“Does everyone tell you everything?”

“Yeah, usually.” He moved a little bit closer, but not by much. “If you think you know someone’s secrets, I’m sure I already know about it.”

“Even Tsuki?”

“You mean how Hana cheated on him with Kageyama and now you are going to the wedding with him, him being Tsuki, to make them both jealous?”

“Damn. You’re insane.”

“Nah, I’m just a short stack of secrets.”

Another bubble of laughter.

“You don’t plan to ruin the wedding, do you?” Hinata asked.

You shook your head. “No, no. We aren’t monsters. We just want to make the two of them shake in their boots a bit. There’s way too much money being spent for us to ruin the wedding. Besides, I would somehow end up being the one sending out apology letters to family and friends for coming.”

“Yeah that would be embarrassing.”

The wedding was the next day.

You didn’t go to the rehearsal, and even took it upon yourself to stay the night at Tsukishima’s.

When you arrived at his door with a bag (that you quickly snatched of necessities from Kageyama and Hana’s), Tsuki just opened the door and simply asked you to join him in watching a murder mystery podcast. You accepted.

“Why can’t I wear a fucking suit?” You complained as you shoved yourself into the nicest dress you owned. It was beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and hugged you in exactly the right places. You just hated the process of getting ready.

“Because you look great in that dress. Now hurry up because we don’t want to be the only ones late.”

You left Tsuki’s bathroom in full glam.

You watched Tsuki’s eyes shift from your chest to your eyes. You smirked. “I guess the dress works.”

“It definitely works.” Tsuki rolled his eyes, bringing his arm up for you. You linked your arm through.

“You guys have fun!!” Yamaguchi called from the living room. You waved as you walked by. “Holy shit, you guys look likes gods.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you cuss.” You said.

“You’ve obviously never talked to him.” Tsuki scoffed. “We’ll be back later. Or, at least, I will be.”

“Don’t die. And don’t kill anyone!”

“No promises.”

Tobio Kageyama always thought that on his wedding day, you would be the one walking down the aisle in white.

He would never admit it; but to be completely honest, he had thought about it a lot during the duration of your relationship. He had imagined standing at the end of the aisle and you walking down, and kissing you as man and wife. It was a stupid imagination for a high school relationship, but he did imagine it.

He watched as you walked into the building by yourself. He was greeting everyone, welcoming them before the wedding and telling the women where to find Hana in her dressing room.

You were absolutely stunning in the most brilliant red dress he had ever seen. The wedding was white and blue, and you stood out in the most amazing way he had ever witnessed.

Kageyama couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you turn to the door, where Tsukishima just entered. His stomach churns when he sees you greet him with a hug and the two of you laugh at something Tsukishima said. And he hates how evidently the man is your date.

He has to physically stop himself from chasing after you when you pull Tsuki by the hand and drag him through the sea of bodies to where a few members of the old volleyball team are (ie Hinata, Daichi, Suga, and Noya).

His heart leaps violently against the bones of his chest when a thought floods into his mind. The thought that you were with Tsukishima, the thought that you knew of everything that happened since you’ve been gone.

He felt as though he couldn’t breathe.

You kept yourself at Tsuki’s side the entire time.

There was a little get together before the actual wedding. Everyone just stood around and chatted with everyone that they only get to see once a year, greeting the groom and making him more nervous. After a bit, it would be time to sit down and watch the ceremony.

The thought made you want to eat dirt.

Tsuki put his hand on your waist and you looked up at him. The two of you were still in the middle of talking to the old volleyball boys, Hinata talking about his travels.

“He can’t take his eyes off of you.” Tsuki muttered into your hair. It wasn’t unnoticed by Daichi and Suga, who just exchanged a look (as they always seemed to be all knowing).

“Just wait until Hana gets her eyes on you.” You lean into his side. “She won’t make it down the aisle.”

He chuckled and placed a kiss on your temple, feeling the eyes of Kageyama on your back.

“The man of the hour.” Daichi spoke up.

Kageyama appeared beside you. Tsuki’s hand stayed on your waist.

“How are you feeling?” Suga asked, eyes shifting between you and him. You could swear he knew more than you could ever imagine.

“Good, good.” Kageyama plastered a fake smile on his face. “Just nervous.”

“Well that’s normal.”

“Can I borrow her for a second?” Kageyama turned to Tsukishima. You blinked. “I just have to talk to her for a second.”

“Yeah.” Tsuki let go of your waist. He sent you a look, basically telling you to fuck the shit outta him in the broom closet.

“I’ll be right back!” you sent them a smile.

Kageyama looked absolutely delicious in his suit. Black, with a little bit of blue accents throughout. It brought out his eyes. You couldn’t focus as you followed him to an empty room.

“Hey.”

“If you have something you have to say, you could’ve said it out there.”

“No I.” I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said. I should just leave with you right now and run away and get married and live in a forest. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Instead, “What are you doing here with Tsukishima?”

“What do you mean? He’s my date.” You shrugged.

“Yes. But why?”

“You expected me to come to your wedding by myself?” You blinked. “Or, rather, you expected Tsuki to come by his lonesome?”

“No, I…”

“That’s a bit selfish, don’t you think Kags?” You felt anger rising in your chest. “To think that I can’t have a date to a wedding when you’re literally getting married.”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” You were exasperated. “It’s incredibly clear how you think of me, Kageyama. But as for someone who will never be loved by anyone, it’s nice to go to a wedding with…”

“You’re loved by me!”

It was the first time in Kageyama’s life where he truly understood what earth-shattering silence was. It was deafening and loud; too loud. He stood there motionless as the howling of his blood pumping in his head, his heartbeat inside his chest. You were silent.

His world seemed to have stopped the second he had said those words to you. The moment those words left his lips, he wished to take them back. Not because they were lies, but because it was the first time he had said them in the most honest way possible.

You shook your head.

You shook your head and Kageyama’s world shattered. He knew that he had hurt you, over and over and time and time again. But he had done it. He had hurt you to the point that you would simply shake your head at the confession of his love.

Whatever was left of whatever the hell was still there was gone.

“Kags,” You closed your eyes. “You don’t. I’m not.”

“I do.” He reached for your hand. You backed away.

“Me and Tsuki coming to your wedding together was not to get you to tell me that you love me.” You were muttering. You were babbling. You couldn’t do this. “It was to get you jealous, yes, but.. not this. Maybe rile you up. Get Hana to admit her bullshit for sure. But not… not this.”

“I…”

“You are getting married today.” You reminded him. “To Hana. You’re getting married to her. Today. And I cannot do another confession like that.”

“Who else has confessed to you?”

“Oikawa.” You said before you could think.

“Tooru Oikawa told you that he was in love with you?” Kageyama laughed as though it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. You basically heard your heart break.

“See? That right there?” You headed for the door. “That’s why you can’t possibly be in love with me. You’re so fucking convinced that I can’t be loved by anyone because I fucking moved away in high school. Jesus, Kageyama, get over it!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He was literally wiping tears from his face. “It’s just. I knew it. I fucking knew it.” He stopped when he seen your face. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Seriously fuck you.” You moved to open the door to go back to your date and get ready for the ceremony. Because this was for Tsuki, not you.

You started to walk out, but turned to him with a glance over your shoulder. “By the way, I’ve been in love with you for years. This shouldn’t be new information.”

You didn’t stay to gauge his reaction.

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rythyme · 7 years

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9. Cuddling // Nurseydex

« {Part 9 of my Valentine’s collection.} »

a/n: gratuitous cuddling and dumb boys being dumb. established relationship, but they haven’t told the team yet. enjoy!

“Okay,” Holster said, holding up the two DVD cases in either hand. “The official Samwell Men’s Hockey movie night vote has come down to Mighty Ducks, 1992, or MVP: Most Valuable Primate, 2000. As your captains, Ransom and I will be abstaining from the poll, so…. Gentlemen—and Lardo—your votes, please?”

“Mighty Ducks,” Lardo said immediately.

“Agreed,” said Dex.

“No, no, no. MVP!” said Chowder. “It’s a monkey who plays hockey! C’mon guys!”

“Ditto,” said Nursey, taking a spot between Chowder and Dex on the couch.

“But the monkey’s name is Jack,” Bitty said insistently. “Are y’all seriously going to make me watch that?”

“Hold on, its name is Jack?” Lardo asked. “I’m changing my vote. Count me down for the monkey one.”

Bitty sighed. “Et tu, Lardo?”

Lardo shrugged.

“Okay,” Ransom said. “That’s two for Mighty Ducks, and three for MVP. Whiskey? Tango?”

“…Mighty Ducks…”

“Um, I guess I’m the tie breaker then?” Tango said. “Um, I guess I’ll vote for MVP?”

“Alright, we have a winner!” Holster hollered. “Get ready for the most talented non-human hockey player ever, because we’re about to watch MVP!”

“…Yay,” said Dex.

Nursey didn’t really care about which movie they watched, but voting against Dex was always fun. He looked a little sullen now, his hands crossed over his chest as he slouched back against the couch. It was cute. It made Nursey want to kiss him.

There was no real reason why he shouldn’t kiss him. They’d been dating for two months, and they’d talked about coming out to the team. Neither of them had any particular reservations about it, but they just hadn’t… done it. Not yet. It was hard to find the right time, what with their rigorous practice schedule and midterms coming up. Maybe tomorrow, they kept saying. Maybe next week.

He could’ve just kiss Dex and gotten it over with, but he didn’t. He didn’t especially feel like trying to explain anything at the moment.

Instead, Nursey just draped his arm casually over the back of the couch behind Dex’s head and settled in to watch the beginning of the movie.

After about ten minutes, it was clear that Dex had no intention of actually paying attention to the movie. He started out by criticizing the movie’s plot—“There’s no way they would hand over custody of an animal like that. That’s not what happens when a lab loses funding.”—but the others shushed him enough that he eventually kept quiet. After another few minutes or so, Dex was on his phone.

That wouldn’t do.

As surreptitiously as he could manage, Nursey took his own phone out of his back pocket and opened up his text conversation with Dex. r u 2 good 4 this movie? he typed, then tapped ‘Send’.

Nursey waited until he heard Dex’s phone buzz. He could feel Dex’s eyes on him, but he refused to look. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Dex tapping out a response.

Are you too good for spelling out full words? came the reply a moment later. Nursey tried not to laugh, but there was no way he was suppressing his grin.

rude. im an english major, u kno

And I’m a CS major. Now we’re both saying things that have no relevance to this conversation.

u kno i only use chatspeak 2 annoy u bae <3

Yeah, I do know. I’ve seen your text conversations with Chowder.

As casually as he could manage, Nursey moved his arm from behind the couch, tilted sideways, and leaned his head against Dex’s shoulder. As if by reflex, Dex draped his own arm over Nursey’s shoulder in response. They could probably play this off as platonic, if they wanted to. Ransom and Holster did worse all the time.

Nursey started to lose track of the movie, devoting most of his attention to chirping Dex via text instead. When his neck started to get stiff from leaning onto Dex’s shoulder, he shifted so that he was lying mostly on Dex’s lap instead. None of the others commented, so he figured they were safe. Dex began to run his hands through Nursey’s hair, his long fingers tangling in Nursey’s curls, and it became increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open.

The next thing Nursey knew, the room was dark and someone was shaking his shoulder. “Hey, Nursey,” Dex murmured. “The movie’s over. Let’s go home.”

“Mmh,” Nursey mumbled. He tried to bury himself deeper into Dex’s lap but Dex just shook him harder.

“Nursey. Babe. Everyone else already went to bed.”

“But I don’t want to…” he whined. “Can’t we just sleep here tonight?”

“Here? On this biohazard of a couch?”

Ugh. Dex had a point.

“Fine,” Nursey sighed, picking himself up off of Dex’s lap and groaning. Fuck, it was going to be hell to walk all the way back to his dorm. He couldn’t wait until one of them got dibs next year. Dex got to his feet and offered Nursey a hand, and he took it, letting Dex pull him most of the way off the couch. He kept Dex’s hand in his as they left the living room and headed for the front door.

“God, you’re really fucking clingy,” Dex commented, slipping into his shoes. “You better not sleep on top of my arm again tonight.”

“Baby, that was one time,” Nursey said, regretfully letting Dex have his hand back to put on his jacket. “One time in the two months we’ve been dating.”

“Once is still too many times. I couldn’t feel my arm for like, an hour after you did that.”

“Babe, can’t you just let that go? Don’t you love me?”

“You know I love you, but—” Dex stopped, staring at a point beyond Nursey’s shoulder. Nursey turned around, and—oh. Well then.

Apparently, when Dex had said that everyone else had gone to bed, he really meant that everyone else was in the kitchen, sharing one of Bitty’s pies, sitting only a few feet away from where he and Dex were currently standing and staring at them with an interesting variety of shocked expressions.

No one moved.

Usually, Nursey was a pretty reasonable and mature person—but not tonight. For some reason, the only solution his tired and mildly panic-stricken brain could come up with was “RUN.” Nursey caught Dex’s eye, and knew almost telepathically that Dex was thinking the same thing.

They flung open the front door and bolted.

“What the fuck are we doing?!” Dex laughed as they raced across the street and cut through the lawn of the LAX house. He sounded giddy and out of breath. “What the actual fuck? It’s midnight! We’re running!”

“I don’t know, just roll with it!” Nursey replied. They sprinted towards the bridge over the Samwell river, the echoes of their feet slapping against the pavement and their breathy laughter the only sounds on the empty street.

“I cannot believe we’re doing this,” Dex said.

“Hey, did you want to try to have that awkward conversation right then?”

“Fuck no.”

“Then I’m pretty sure this was the best solution,” Nursey grinned.

“And the most stupid solution.”

“Who cares? We’re in love. We get a free pass to be stupid.”

They slowed when they got to the bridge, coming to a stop at the apex and gazing out onto the still water side by side. It looked a little like a postcard, the moon and the streetlamps reflecting on river. Their dorm building wasn’t too far from here, but Nursey didn’t really want to leave just yet.

“Hey,” Dex said. Nursey turned, and even though it was dark, he could still see the fond look in Dex’s eye and the freckles on Dex’s cheeks.

“Hey yourself,” Nursey replied. Dex bumped his shoulder lightly.

“I was just going to say,” Dex murmured, “that if there was one romantic spot on this campus right now… it would probably be here.”

“You think so?” Nursey said, but Dex was right. The dim moonlight was making Dex’s skin look damn near ethereal. “Maybe we should rise to the occasion.”

They both leaned in for the kiss, meeting in the middle and slotting their lips together with a sigh. Dex felt warm, his breath still coming a little harder from all the running. He swiped his tongue across Nursey’s lower lip. The soft pressure of his mouth against Nursey’s was so fucking perfect, Nursey couldn’t help but melt into it.

They made out on the bridge for a little longer than was probably sensible, considering how cold and late it was. When they finally broke apart long enough to catch their breath, both their lips were swollen and tingling. Nursey had to stop himself from going back in for another round of kissing.

Dex leaned back against the stone ledge separating them from the river and pulled out his phone. “The group chat is on fire,” he said. “There are literally too many questions for me to read right now.”

“What are you writing?”

“Uh,” Dex paused. “How about, ‘We’re safe, we’re going back to the dorms, we’re sorry we ran out, and we’re dating’? Does that sound good?”

“Perfect,” Nursey grinned. A cold breeze blew over the water, making him shiver. “Let’s go. It’s cold.”

Dex nodded, and they started walking back to the sophomore dorms. “…Is your roommate home?” he asked after a moment.

“Dex!” Nursey said, looking at him out of the corner of his eye. “I like your enthusiasm, babe, but I am fucking exhausted. It’s late, and we just ran most of the way home.”

“I wasn’t talking about—not tonight,” Dex said quickly, sounding flustered. “I meant… tomorrow…. In the morning, maybe….”

“Oh. Well, in that case. Yeah, my roommate’s gone for the weekend. He’s visiting his parents again.”

“Cool,” Dex said.

Nursey’s dorm room was dark and silent when he unlocked the door. It didn’t take either of them long to take off their clothes and slip under the covers. Nursey really hadn’t been kidding—he was exhausted. The warmth of Dex’s skin against his own was comforting, safe. Before long, his eyelids felt too heavy to lift, and his thoughts started to go down that scattered, disorganized route they always did just before sleep took him.

“Hey, Nursey?” he heard Dex whisper into the darkness.

“Yeah, babe?”

“I love you.”

“And they say I’m the romantic….” Nursey mumbled. “Love you too, babe.”

“Goodnight.”

And then, finally, he was asleep. In the morning, he and Dex would make out, maybe do a little more, and then they would fix things up with the rest of the team. Until then, though, he was going to rest. The world could wait until morning.

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jess-oh · 6 years

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Reflection

i feel bad bc i said i was going to skype with andrew tonight but im actually kinda tired and i do need to be up and ready for my critique tomorrow. i’ll probably shower, skype with him for a bit, ask my question, flatten out my typography poster and work on my resume and then go to sleep.

overall, i had a pretty good day today. im definitely doing better, mentally speaking. i was pretty tired this morning since i stayed up late last night talking to andrew but oceanography went well and THANK THE LORD, but i got an 82% on my oceanography midterm! which isnt an A but i didnt study at all and i was lowkey worried i failed so it’s much better than nothing! ^_^ Then, I didn’t end up stopping by the resume/internship prep session since Brian Socall messaged me back with notes on my resume so I was just going to work on that on my own time instead. But I did get me some bomb waffles, quickly arranged, cut, and folded my poster, sped walk back to the Dwight with the girl in my type class, and head to Self Management and Freelancing. And we actually got a lot of homework, haha. but i am excited. lowkey, i wasnt paying a whole lot of attention but i got the jist of it and im sure i can see other people’s things for reference and i still have that girl’s number from my class. so i should be fiiiiine. i just need to remember to do them this week! and my IA too! That’s due Sunday night instead of Monday so I really gotta get that done ASAP. I know I’m hanging out with Chaeweon on Saturday so i dont want to bank on that day to get everything done. I guess I can work on my IA at least tomorrow during work and then my budget on Sunday? Maybe? I’ll figure something out. It also depends when he sends out the e-mail with the dropbox. And then there’s graphic design too and I need to Skype with Lauren tomorrow night. I won’t bail!

Speaking of bailing, I was tempted to bail on prayer night at Earl and Gongjoo’s place today but I told her that I would come so I did and it wasnt as welcoming and comforting as the first time but it was still a really nice environment. I felt kinda bad bc I usually lead discussions and I’m super involved but I was genuinely confused regarding the topic of freewill today so I just did my best to listen and take it in. But I do worry I’m not presenting an accurate image of myself. Someone who is bold and outgoing and not afraid to stand up for what is right. But I do think I also need to learn to take a seat and know that I don’t have to be the best at everything. I can’t be. And that’s okay. I just need to accept it and acknowledge and recognize my limits and work towards growing instead. I think it was the lack of 19 year olds and I did feel initimated since everyone is so much older than I am but maybe it was a sign bc I have people to listen and look up to. But I also dont want to feel discouraged in voicing my own opinions and thoughts as well. And I do think that pulled me back from contributing to the discussion at times. but thats just something i need to work on. i do want to do a better job at learning to see my faults and mistakes and feeling encouraged to grow instead of beating myself up over it and feeling guilt bc i cant do better.

#reflection

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