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blingblong55 · 2 days

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Gold Rush- Vladimir Makarov

Based on a request: heyy! I love your writing style and am I big simper for makarov!<3 Ignore this if you don't want to do it but what about reader being apart of makarov's crew and him falling in love with them during a mission. Thank you sooo much if ur going to do this!<333 ---- F!Reader, fluff/romance? ----

Being part of Konni was always a risk, especially when the rest of the world is against you and your teammates. Makarov, the man who started everyone just so happened to be by your side in this mission. He was rough, cold and serious, rarely making jokes unless you were a part of his inner circle. Tonight, he leads the team through yet another dangerous mission.

You were walking towards another part of the enemy base when he stopped you. He shakes his head, "Too risky, take left," he commands but you know this place best. "If I take left the guards will notice me, this way is their blind spot, trust me," you voice above a whisper. "If you get us caught-"

"I won't," you cut him off.

For nearly three hours, the team and you sneaked around, gathering as much intel as possible before sunrise.

By the time the helo had arrived, he allowed you to go first, weird for a man like him to care about such things. On the way back to base, he sits beside you, "Smart move back there, Y/n," he says in a much softer voice. What he hadn't expected was for him to develop a soft spot for a person in his team, much less you.

It didn't start tonight, no, this took time to develop.

About two years ago, that is when he first noticed you. The team and you were just hanging around, it was an odd day, with no work or worries. He watches how his men laugh, how you sit by the corner, listening but not engaging and he takes note of that. With time, he notices how blunt you were, how you didn't glorify anything, especially not him. All others did, well those who were allies to his so-called 'cause'.

You didn't mean to be mean when you were honest, you just said things like how you saw them, even with him. Another thing he noticed was how shy you were, but when asked your words spoke differently to how you are.

With time, he found himself smiling at what you did, the dumb jokes only you and the person telling them understood. Secretly, he began to memorise you. It would be a fear to others if he did this but in this light, it was romantic. He began to notice the smile you had when you'd read a book and it got to an interesting part.

One night, he sat down on some stairs, looking up at the starry night as smoke ran in his lungs. He did this only when he knew you'd be jogging around base, sleepless nights were your excuse but he knew the real reason.

Others noticed how kind he was to you, how he never laughed when you were the butt of the joke. It became clear when he would only beeline to you when books were in his hand. All in Russian but as he said, "The author made it in Russian because the emotions are better written."

He always had a book he needed you to read. In some cryptic way, the words between pages and titles were his way of being a poet to the girl in the jogging shoes.

Tonight, as the team arrives back on base, he asks you to stay back.

Why be feared if you, yourself fear something?

The walk to his office was calm, screw whoever said comfortable silence was overrated. This silence with him was nice, it was...beautiful in some way.

"I wanted to...say something I think is idiotic to say, especially for a man like me," he starts. Your gaze on his soft eyes, those heterochromatic eyes.

He takes a deep breath and continues, "I like you. I like all about you and I think I would be a fool if I never said this. You can act as shy as you want, and pretend I annoy you, but I want a lot of things with you. I've read poems that remind me of you. I like our night routines, I like how you know the real me. I like how everyone here adores you...at least I do. I didn't like how you have become the only person I get nervous around but...now, I do. But I do hate that you make me feel excited, happy and hopeful and that you know me better than anyone. I hate worrying about you so if you must, reject me now so I can have a real reason to hate myself too."

His eyes desperately looking at yours and when a smile appears on that beautiful face of yours, he smiles too.

For three months, he and you get close. Milena, the woman everyone, even the enemies, thinks is his lover only stays close so she can finally see a long-time friend happy.

Everywhere he goes, those sweet eyes you've come to love steal glances at you. Small, secret smiles capture no one but the eyes of each other. He becomes the constant in your life as you do to his.

In this world, he shouldn't show anyone his shiny toy. He mustn't since he knows others will break the one fragile thing he allows himself to have. So, like the flower-covered coat pockets in his home, he keeps you tucked away for when his hands can be fragile again.

Tags: @liyanahelena @johfaam0 @goldenmclaren @rvivienner @frazie99 @alxexhearts @baldwinhearts @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @viomast @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @strangepuppynightmare @strawberrychita @Llelannie @anonymuslydumb @nobodys-coffee @rowrowrowyourboat13 @luvecarson @soapybutt17 @asianbutnotjapanese @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @thegreyjoyed @marshiely @baruque-ya @tuihiatus @iruzias @sleepyycatt @believeinthefireflies95 @noodlezz-bedo

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blackgirlcinephiles · 2 days

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Incoming: Long post! Black media discourse! Zendaya think piece!

Two years ago I wrote this post about Zendaya, Keke Palmer, and how colorism shapes the career trajectories of Black actresses.

This past weekend Challengers released in theaters, sparking a round of online discussion about Zendaya, her star power, her talent as an actor, and how a raunchy film like Challengers fits into a cultural landscape that’s less enthusiastic about on-screen depictions of sex.

Early reviews of the film lauded Zendaya’s performance, and even after it’s release, the general consensus remains overwhelmingly positive, with quiet buzzing of a potential Oscar nomination for Zendaya. Kudos to her!

I’m not here, however, to discuss or analyze Zendaya’s acting chops. (To some ppl, she’s outstanding, to others she’s overhyped. Personally, I think Zendaya is talented. Her work in Euphoria was no small feat and she’s proved herself capable.)

The reason I’m writing this now is that an excerpt from this article about Zendaya and Challengers got me thinking again about what it takes for Black actors to become “stars” in this day and age. I’ll insert screenshots here.

Now I’m sure the reviewer’s tone in these excerpts will be off-putting to some, esp those who identify as a part of the Zendaya standom. It’s clear that Ms. Angelica Jade Bastien has yet to buy into the fanfare about Zendaya’s acting abilities.

But she touches on something very interesting to me. Zendaya is THE most prominent Black actress of the younger generation and I’d argue her degree of star power is unmatched by even her non-Black peers, some of them having comparatively longer (& more impressive) resumes. Zendaya is incredibly well liked. People want to see her and she’s been so visible these past 6 years that it’s hard to believe Challengers is her first leading role in a big release.

So…why her? Why has Zendaya been able to garner this level of star power and leverage behind the scenes while other equally talented Black actors fight for adequate roles and visibility? After reading several opinions, I’ve come to some conclusions.

I think colorism, racial identity, and desirability politics all play a role (as was discussed in the colorism post). But I also think Zendaya has been very smart about managing her online presence and overall brand. She’s maintained Beyonce level privacy about her personal life (virtually scandal free since her teens) and has managed to exude poise while still being seen as delightfully down-to-earth. That in itself is praiseworthy b/c it’s a delicate balancing act and many have faltered.

I also think that as AJB states, there’s an indictment on Hollywood to be made here. I think since Zendaya’s exit from Disney, the projects she’s taken on have used her likeness to stoke public interest in the films. (Similar to the way ppl watched Selena’s film choices post- Wizards of Waverly: “What’s this beloved disney kid up to next?”)

And this is noteworthy b/c the significance of Zendaya’s roles in the early films of the Spiderman and Dune franchises have been disproportionate to her visibility in promotional materials. Zendaya’s screentime in the first Dune couldn’t have amounted to more than 10 minutes, but she was prominently featured on the press tour and red carpets. The same goes for the first Spiderman. She’s clearly been used to sell tickets to these movies, even when she doesn’t have a lot to do in them.

And Zendaya, to her credit, has made the most of these opportunities (earlier this year she received high praise for her performance as Chani in Dune 2). She once stated in a vogue interview that she started going out for roles initially written as white to see if she’d be able to change the casting team’s mind. And it seems that she’s succeeded, as evidenced by her presence in several huge releases over the past 6 years. But these were often small, supporting roles where her identity as a biracial Black woman didn’t impact her character’s arc within the overall story. (This is not necessarily a bad thing in itself, but stay with me)

This then begs the question, “What does it mean for a star like Zendaya to take up roles originally reserved for white actresses?”

The conclusion I’ve come to is that it means providing a film with enough racial diversity to give the impression that Hollywood cares about being inclusive, while not being so different that certain audiences are unable to “connect” to the character. I think that “Hollywood’s acceptable Black girl” has to be Black enough to fulfill a diversity quota, but not so Black that audiences are reminded the character has a different lived experience from them and feel uncomfortable.

Like AJB said, I don’t believe mainstream audiences are actually interested in Black female rage. It makes them uncomfortable and lately certain factions of the population have been extremely vocal about being “tired of woke.”

I find it strange that Justin Kuritzkes (the Challengers screenwriter) stated it only made sense to write Tashi as a Black woman bc of the visibility and dominance of Black women in tennis, but didn’t think it’d be important to explore any of the challenges that come with that in the film. And for this to be followed by the decision to cast a light skinned, biracial actress in the role? It doesn’t make any sense.

We’re shown that Tashi Duncan is a fierce, unapologetically competitive athlete. And yet, these are not qualities that Black female athletes are usually applauded for having. Just look at the narratives that have swirled around athletes like Serena Williams and Sha’Carri Richardson since their debuts. There’s always a barely concealed desire to humble high achieving Black women who are confident in their abilities. The press coverage around Serena & Naomi’s infamous match (which Justin Kuritzkes said inspired Challengers) is a perfect example of that. It’s strange to model a character after these figures and give no mention of these struggles and how they’d influence character motivations.

IMO, this reads as another case of not wanting to be critized for lack of diversity in your film, while also not wanting to do the work that goes into making your diverse cast authentic. (like getting input from or writing alongside other BIPOC screenwriters. That “little white boys” line is truly meaningless without any context or backstory. And it doesn’t sound like they’ve given Tashi much.) The result is an Black female lead character who is under-written and whose importance has been overstated in the promos in contrast to the actual story. (Which seems to fit right on trend for films Zendaya’s been a part of.)

Zendaya seems to have become the go-to Black actress for when big budget films want to “go ethnic.” She’s mixed race, conventionally beautiful, near universally well-liked w/ a loyal fanbase, and has been recognized as talented enough (Two Emmys! Count ‘em. Two!) to get the job done. She’s a safe bet that allows them to kill two birds with one stone. By adding Zendaya to the mix, the studio gets to check a diversity box for their cast and gets leading star guaranteed to get them sales.

I really don’t want anyone to misconstrue this as downplaying Zendaya’s achievements or her talent, b/c it’s not. But no part of the society we live in is a true meritocracy. As I discussed in the original post re: colorism, there are always structural and social forces at work shaping our ability to advance. Like Beyonce, Zendaya is an incredibly privileged Black woman who is talented, has worked hard, and has made the most of the advantages she’s been afforded. And I don’t think Zendaya has any control over the way she’s been used to advertise the films she’s done over the past 6 years.

I just think this conversation is another opportunity to adjust our perspectives and examine the limitations of representation in Hollywood. I’m reluctant to acknowledge Zendaya’s current success as a marker of progress or even see it as a win for Black female representation.

“Zendaya is officially Gen Z’s Hollywood star. Gen Z’s first true Hollywood star is a Black woman!”

What does it say about the stage of progress we’re in if our generation’s chosen Black leading lady has to have such close proximity to whiteness that people can choose to overlook her Blackness, if they so desire? Is the mere presence of a Black face in a high place progress? Or is it what that person’s power allows them to do for others who are also marginalized? As AJB asked, how meaningful is Zendaya’s position as a Black female producer if everything about the projects she’s involved in is white except for her? (Just throwing out food for thought: How different would Challengers have been if a MoC was casted as one of the male leads instead of the two “white twinks” everyone can’t stop talking about? No shade to Mike Faist or Josh O’Connor, but would it still have gotten buzz? Would the marketing team have known how to advertise the film if there were two main actors of color instead of one?)

I think it’s amazing to see Zendaya’s growth and success as a biracial Black female entertainer, but I won’t attach any meaning to her success that isn’t there.

This is actually a really shitty time for Black art and Black actors in Hollywood. Last year, so many wonderful Black shows were cancelled. DEI rollbacks are hitting all parts of society, but especially entertainment and the trend doesn’t seem to be reversing any time soon.

It’s not comforting to see Zendaya reach the heights she’s soared to, while other equally talented yet less privileged Black actors fall into obscurity waiting years before they get another role that showcases their abilities. Black actors continue to suffer from lack access to opportunities/roles. Their projects are not marketed and given time to grow. And even when the support is there, the shows will still be cancelled. What does it say that the one Black actress who has had consistent enough access to these opportunites to achieve “star” status is the one with the closest proximity to whiteness?

Things are actually very bleak.

#blackgirlcinephiles #black girls on tumblr #discourse #black actresses #black actresses in hollywood #zendaya #challengers #what does it mean to be a star in this day and age #what is the true importance of having a Black hollywood star?#should it mean anything?#black representation #black representation in media

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mostowa · 5 hours

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Justice for Chenford aka my inital thoughts after 6x07

Ok, for starters. I really liked the episode. I liked that it was slow paced with all of them dealing one case and that it was basically the whole episode about Chenford and the aftermath of break up. I loved it, because it just shows that writers know how important it was for us and for them (the whole Mid-Wilshire gang) to process that. Now when I think about it I am kind of surprised they decided to not write any Angela/Tim scene, but I guess they are this type of friendship, when they are always for each other, but not necessarily on a daily basis. As for other things:

Tim and therapy. I am so proud of my boy. I really loved how they write it. I loved that nobody made him do the therapy and Grey even allowed him an opt-out that he chose. His initial defensivenes towards London was so in-character. I think that it was very good he decided to go on his own (did he? let me get to this in the separate point :D), I also liked that all of his major problems were highlighted in this episode, which we all identified (I mean @theflyindutchwoman could be Tim's therapist at this point lol). I am really happy that Tim is also still good at his job. It was a great scene with Grey, because Tim was actually surprised he did so good, when he was still thinking he is shit at everything he does (he is not).

Lucy I really like how she's been written, too. Obviously she went through a lot. But it's very clear after this episode that she is the one that is mature and much better grounded. Ok, she is a bit alone, but I think there is a whole new chapter starting for her with Celina --- I really like it. They haven't had much interaction until now, but I feel they will bond a lot over energies, cat personalities and mental problems. They will be a good team. Lucy is obviously dealing with breakup much better than Tim because, well, she is dealing with it. Pairing with Grey was great too and I loved how he had this "I'm your boss but also kind of dad" dynamic. It was great. I loved that Tamara was there for her. I even liked the "imma invite everyone else" just to show Tim she doesn't want to see him. This one wasn't mature, but it was very Lucy and nobody ever acts 100% mature over break up ahahaha.

Chenford I love mad Lucy and lost Tim and I was kind of hoping for this kind of dynamics so I'm happy they went for that. The final scene crushed me, but only in the right way. I feel it was so necessary and it's good that it was awkward. I loved that Tim went for a safe ground with work talk, because he, well, he just wanted to feel close with her and this is how they were close. It's good that she called him out on that, too. I think we will get this mature talk between them, but I'm glad it didn't happen now. I'm sure Tim wouldn't be able to take the mature stuff from Lucy. I genuinely think that this convo was the tipping point for Tim for going to therapy. I think it is once again Lucy that makes him choose right things and I am so in love with that. I'm happy she opened his mind.

dr London Y'all need to come down. For me, if anything, dr London in this episode proved that she is 100000% professional. All she did with Tim is to talk about his issues, she was very strong with that and she was also very good in not taking Tim's BS haha. She is a professional, extremely observant and I think a good therapist. As for the last scene, for me it showed only the sense of urgency. It showed how much Tim actually wants to work on himself (I think he feels he is losing Lucy a bit) and that he wants to work on it right now. Of course, we won't know what is going to happen and of course feelings towards therapist are not an uncommon in therapy and especially when patient is so lost, but I really hope they won't go down this path, because it would feel a little cheap.

Overally I loved how they wrote it. I love they went for the very Rookie path of dealing with the stupid decision the right way. I love that there are some seeds thrown to grow and I think this is one of the most in-character episodes we got all season. I'm anticipating the show again and I'm happy!

I am also curious who is going to be the officer down and I'm loving that we will get some more action!

#chenford #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford

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chiikasevennn · 12 hours

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Ironically Horny

Sung Jinwoo x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): SMUT, 18+, YK THE DRILL 🙄😠 (i hate writing but woowoo x reader/oc writers are not that many and it kills me), ugly writing i did not proofread anything, aphrodisiac, no plot just porn, belly bulge, lmk if I'm missing smth else! Thanks

A/N: guys, idk what i'm doing /srs, so please beware—I might be insane as I wrote this. I'M LOOKING AT YOU. This ain't canon ok? Also, [N. Name] means nickname!!

"Hu… angh!" You clenched the bedsheets abrasively as you realized that indulging feeling kick in your lower belly again.

A bulge continuously vanished and reappeared with each thrust this bastard, Sung Jinwoo, gave you. With a numb mind, you looked at the headboard with your eyes remained moist with tears as the raven haired man ruin you completely with his cock.

He was big. A bit too big.

"Jin'oo, ah… hic," your head attempted to raise but failed and fell flat against the pillow. The sound of his grunting made you weak although you knew this sort of act wasn't romantic at all.

Jinwoo flipped your body, making you view his rock-hard and impressive abs—but he realized that it was completely useless as you clearly couldn't even see it properly as your mind had gone blank long ago because of his relentless pounding.

In the stillness of the night, his rough shoving echoed through your bedroom. Jinwoo watched you cry, you, who was always tough-looking.

Jinwoo traced his fingers along your neck and placed a hickey there. He did it once, twice, and before he knew it, he couldn't stop until he realized he finally came again for the nth time.

So, how did you guys end up like this? Well—

"What the—I-I'm poisoned?" Your displeasure was clear as Jinwoo looked at you, and it appeared that you were looking at your system albeit not visible in his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"System said ordinary potions wouldn't work, not to mention, I'm no healer either."

"What?"

You contemplated the words written on the blue screen despite the multiple times you've analyzed it. When new words began to appear and soon you understood, your face went pale.

"[Name]?" Jinwoo had never seen you like this before. He felt a knot of worry twisting in his stomach. It was so unlike you to be this troubled.

"Jinwoo, please kill me."

"What???"

He saw your lifeless eyes, as if you failed to accept something too deep. "Kill me. Living is already humiliating enough."

"What's wrong with you? What did the system say, anyway?"

"I'd…" cheeks burning in mortification, you ended up crouching. "Oh, Lords, this is so fucking embarrassing. The hell." You whispered the last part.

You cursed like a mantara and Jinwoo watched as you slowly lost your mind.

"Just—" he almost sighed. "What does it say?"

"I… I have to…" The other player had never once witnessed you falter with your words nor look as if you wanted to disappear right this instant. "Sex… Do intimate shit. Oh…? …! Fuck, it also told me it's not poison, but an aphrodisiac!"

Jinwoo was speechless.

"... Where in the world am I gonna find a sex partner?"

That was a problem, until he offered himself.

He was just being… helpful.

Your body trembled. Letting out a strangled moan, your eyes began to be coated with tears as you recognized Jinwoo's hot spill inside of you beginning to form.

He was a quick learner, once he grasped how much touching your clit and hitting that sweet spot slightly above pleasured you, he didn't back down. No, not after he was told that possible complications might arise if he didn't help you sooner. Not to mention, there was a time limit. A time limit that he had to cum inside you (he was given 2 hours to spill his seed inside for at least 7 times, just what the fuck?) to cure whatever dilemma that monster had thrown at you. It was ridiculous.

Initially, he didn't think it'd work in one hundred and twenty minutes, but after he'd made you cum and squirt for the first time, God knew how much he wanted you right then and there.

One more to go. Jinwoo pulled you closer to his pelvis, not daring to pull his cock out. Sweat was all over the two of you, but he had no time to stop, for he only had 10 minutes left to finish this.

He unexpectedly stopped his plan momentarily when you whined. What? Had he lost track? Maybe you were starting to get uncomfortable since he'd been rough on you for almost two hours. He should stop—

"Jin'oo…" you sobbed softly. He swore he'd never seen anything so beautiful before. "'t hurts… Hurry… D-don't stop… Please."

He looked down at you like a predator and breathed heavily at the sight of you. He sat up, shoulders broad as he held your waist, his dick twitching inside you. Was he getting worked up? Fuck.

Ablush crept up to his face at your adorable begging, but he knew you were out of consciousness as we speak. If you keep nicely pleading him to fuck you, then he might not be able to stop.

He scrutinized your gorgeous body that he secured in his hold. Jinwoo tried to push his dick deeper to which you cried at—and seeing that bulge on your lower stomach made him slightly (so) proud. It was nice that he could touch something that could stand as a proof that he was inside you.

"You…" He leaned down and kissed your temple. You grabbed his cheek and caught his lips into a deep kiss. Jinwoo wasn't able to help himself but return the gesture with equal reason.

The raven haired man didn't pull away until he felt your breath running out and again, he blushed red as he gazed at your panting situation.

He ruined you in a good way.

"Let's finish this, all right?" He kissed your temple so sweetly. "I'm sorry, I have to go rougher since we only have a few minutes left, but I can't risk any future difficulty happening to you, [N. Name]."

You nodded eagerly, and before you knew it, you were being pounded into oblivion again.

#sung jin woo x reader #sung jinwoo x reader #smut #solo leveling x reader #solo leveling #idk what I'm doing ok?#sung jinwoo smut

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livingbrother · 3 days

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LO and it's portrayal of S/A

A rant by someone who just finished EP. 98 and is incredibly furious

Cw: Mentions of S/A, it's effects, too much swearing, ED mention, personal stuff that happened to yours truly, lots of other stuff too, just no idea what to tag it as

Don't read this if you're not mentally doing well, I don't want you getting hurt because of my post, I love you, feel better soon

Boy. Oh fucking boy. I just got through episode 98 of this shit show and, I'll just say, I am beyond furious. Livid, in fact.

For context, I am a survivor or sexual abuse and mental abuse, I have dealt with those who act sort of like Apollo, I was never raped, but I was molested as a child. I, as a survivor, feel nothing but rage at how Rachel portrayed Apollo being a rapist. The way he acts is incredibly unrealistic for an abuser, as somebody who dealt with two abusers with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (I'm not saying everyone who has NPD are villains, I'm just saying what I went through), I see what Rachel was trying, but oh so tragically failed, to do. He tried to control, manipulate, and gaslight Persephone. Only for none of it to work, that's not how ANY of it fucking works!

Where is the fucking control, other than just fucking raping her? I get he wants to take the power away from her and be the one to control her, but I've seen none of that! I get she has PTSD over it (I'LL GET TO THIS POINT AGAIN). I NEVER GOT THE SENSE THAT SHE WAS POWERLESS EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE SCENE. I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER QUESTION IF THAT WAS HIS INFLUENCE PICKING HER DRESSES, OR FUCKING EVEN HER FOOD! WHEN I WAS LIVING WITH ONE OF MY ABUSERS, SHE'D PICK OUT MY OUTFITS, ONE'S I HATED, AND I STILL CHOOSE SOME OF THOSE OUTFITS, TO THIS DAY! WHERE WAS HER LOSS OF CONTROL? SHE NEVER FELT ISOLATED, SHE NEVER FELT LIKE SHE WAS TRAPPED. YES. SHE WAS TRAPPED IN THAT ONE ROOM WITH HIM, BUT EVEN THEN! SHE HAD LEVERAGE OVER HIM WITH THE FUCKING LYRE. Ugh.

About her realizing she was raped, um. Excuse me? A lot of victims don't realize they were raped or abused until like, months or years later. I'm glad for the ones who instantly realized it, good for them. Given Persephone's personality and experience with the world, she wouldn't have known it was rape because she's not accustomed to dating and sexual culture. On top of that, she isn't really seen actually distressed when she remembers, oh, and lets not forget that she WAS FUCKING FINE WITH TOUCH AND PHYSICAL FLIRTING DAYS AFTER HER ASSAULT. Let me remind you that I have been through this thing myself, you do not just omg I was just assaulted! time to go let someone touch me! Nonono, you spend years jumping when people touch you, years of moving when someone tries to grab your shoulder, years of pushing someone's hand off your arm, years screaming when you get a hug. And then, maybe from flashbacks, maybe from googling things, you discover you were molested! And then it alllllll makes sense. I understand if she became hypersexual, cause same, but that usually doesn't set in until a good long while.

I also hate how Apollo is written, he should have stayed as a shitty ex boyfriend or whatever the fuck Rachel was gonna make him, he just comes across as a cartoonish villain than an abuser. The man just fucking rubs his hands together and fucking goes I'll get you next time my pretty! I fucking HATE his writing so goddamn much. I understand wanting to make him pushy, egotistical, and insecure, they're some of the hallmarks of the pushy nice guy she was going for. But when it comes to him being abusive, it's like watching a bad joke. Rapists don't usually, you know, CATCH FEELINGS FOR THEIR VICTIM (correct me if I'm wrong), unless it's to lure them back in to hurt them again. She made him so obviously evil it hurts, abusers don't usually act that way, they put on a pretty smile, act kind, and behind closed doors, act shitty. I respect 97-98 for getting that part right, but too many times, too many fucking times Rachel has gotten that wrong. I have dealt with this myself, my mother did this exact thing, she even put on the pretty smile for me so even I, somebody who knew he was being tormented, questioned whether or not I was being abused! We never see this with Persephone! We never see her getting gaslit with this, she never questions her reality! She knows everything that's going on for sure! I know what Rachel was aiming for, and she failed miserably!

God, on top of this, we never really get to see Persephone's PTSD unless the story fuckin says Apollo's here! She's never really fucking affected by her rape, we don't see her jump from touches, refuse sexual advanced from Hades, yeah, sure, we see her afraid of camera flashes, but that's about it!!!!!!!! She never really experiences the effects of s/a! I developed an ED and agoraphobia from my abuse! Where the fuck is that?! That would have been a lot more fucking interesting than the slop we fucking got!

I know I've missed some things, but I need to calm down before I pop a blood vessel. I might revisit this post when I'm less angry, I just needed to rant.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #rant post #rant #cw s/a #cw: ed #huge ass content warning

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redocity · 7 hours

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Hey, if you’re looking for more buck requests I’d love something where he’s dating the reader and it’s going well but before they get chance to meet the team they get in an accident or their building catches fire or something and buck ends up rescuing her and hen and Eddie work on her etc and then after when they’re okay she’s just like when I said I wanted to meet the team this is not what I meant. Thank you so much if you decide to write this 💕

WORKOUT — E.BUCKLEY

going to the gym when LA was due for a flash flood was not the best idea on your part, but at least you got to meet the people that buck called family

WARNINGS: established relationship, flooding, corpse mention, minor character injury

evan buckley x gn!reader || fluff || 4.0k || requests open!!

a/n: is this the best thing i’ve ever written? no. but i hope it suffices nonetheless 🫶

₊ ⊹ masterlist!!

Who knew joining a new boxing gym of all things would land you a boyfriend.

A tall, blond, handsome boyfriend who could probably bench press you like it was his warm up.

He could probably bench press your dad like it was a warm up.

You like to think it’s an act of divine intervention, an apology from the gods for making you move across the country by yourself with nothing but yourself to make things work.

The least you deserved was the absolute perfection that was Evan Buckley to make it a little less taxing.

Granted, the way you met was less than perfect, you managing to put your gloves on backwards, get them stuck on your hands and then have to ask for help getting them off whilst internally wanting to jump off a cliff from the embarrassment.

He was nice enough though, making lighthearted jokes about the situation as he helped you take off, and then put back on your gloves in the correct way.

To be honest you’re not sure you can remember most of that first conversation you had, definitely too focused on the muscles in his arms as the overhead lighting emphasised the definition of his biceps and shadowed the curves in his collarbone as they peeked out from underneath the tank top he was wearing.

That aspect of your dynamic never changed, and even as he started to approach you first so that you could pair up to spar with each other you still found yourself taking the time to admire his physique whenever the moment arose.

You found out within a few weeks that it was because he was a firefighter, and if you weren’t attracted to him before you definitely were when you had the fuel to imagine him being able to pick you up with one arm and sling you over his shoulder.

Apparently the feeling was mutual.

You learned a lot about Buck during your weekly gym visits. He was from Pennsylvania and travelled across the US before landing in LA, he had an older sister who used to frequent the gym with him, he worked in fire station number 118, and his team was like a surrogate family to him.

You learned a lot about them too.

You’d heard of the medical adventures of Hen and her scientist wife Karen.

He told you about how Chimney—a nickname he refused to elaborate on because it was ‘a scared secret’—had fallen in love with his sister Maddie and how happy he was for them.

He told you about how Eddie used to serve in the army and had an adorable kid named Christopher that Buck often spent his weekends with.

And he delighted in telling you all about Bobby. How he was a secondary father, how he’d been through the roughest of the rough and pulled himself back up and made Buck strive to have the same resilience, how he’d finally gotten his happy ending by falling in love with and getting married to a cop named Athena and how Buck was so happy that he was happy.

It was really endearing honestly, and it was one of the factors that contributed to how hard you fell for him.

He wasn’t just some ‘strong macho firefighter’, he was a human being, someone who loved with all his heart and put his everything into his job and doing right by the people that he loved and cared about.

He often made comments about bringing you to meet the team, mentioning the occasional barbecue that Bobby and Athena would host at their house and how the team would often bring their families and loved ones along.

It was the first time Buck ever called you his partner. In the middle of a boxing ring whilst you were punching at his hands and he was raving on about Bobby’s cooking.

And it was enough for you to miss the padding covering his palms and almost punch him right in the face.

“Woah-” You can thank his instincts for being the only reason he didn’t end up with a bruised nose, swerving his head at the last second and catching you as you stumbled forward into him.

“I am so sorry-” You remove yourself from his grasp hastily, holding the back of your gloved hand over your mouth to cover the astonishment of your own embarrassment from his view.

“It’s good, are you?” Buck dismisses your apology with a shake of his head an a soft smile that makes you want to squeeze him until he explodes because my god he is so adorable how did you land this man?

“Yeah- yeah I’m good, sorry-” You shake your wrists as a way of dispelling the nervous tension that’s racing through your muscles to settle in your joints.

“You’re sure?” He raises an eyebrow at you, expression a mix of suspicion and concern. “You know, you don’t have to come to anything if you’re not comfortable, I don’t want to rush into something if you’re not ready,”

He lowers his hands to his sides, undoing the velcro to slip the pads off his palms as a show that he wants to engage in the conversation without any distraction. “I have a habit of taking relationships too fast, and I don’t want to do that with you,”

“No that’s not— You’re not doing that, I’d love to meet the rest of your team,” You shake your head adamantly at Buck’s attempt at giving you an out, firmly planting your decision as wanting to take the proverbial ‘next step’ in your relationship in meeting the people he calls family. “I was just caught off guard is all, you’ve uh… you’ve never called me your partner before,”

“Oh— I uh—” Your acknowledgement of what he’d said seems to force him to acknowledge it himself, like it was a subconscious slip of the tongue rather than an informed decision. “Is that okay?”

You take a moment to think, eyes round and cheeks flushed as you nod your head. “Yeah,”

“Yeah?” He takes a step towards you, concern washing out of his expression to be replaced with contentment, confidence rising in his irises as he tilts his head to the side.

“Mhm,” You stifle a small embarrassed giggle as he invades your personal space, mirroring his head tilt with your own as your fluster extends from your cheeks to coat your neck in a dark shade of red.

“Good,” He rests his right hand against your shoulder, drawing small lines from the side of your neck down over the curve of your arm with his fingers. “I’ll have to call you that more often then,” He leans forward with every word until his lips are brushing yours as he speaks, emphasising the end of his sentence by pressing a kiss to your lips that you happily reciprocate.

“I’d like that,” Your face is embarrassingly red as you pull away, a lovesick expression on your face as you don’t even try to hide the way your composure falls apart.

—

You have half the mind to never go to the gym ever again.

How were you supposed to know that there were flash floods scheduled to hit LA this morning if they didn’t put it on the news until you were already inside the gym? At least you weren’t the only one suffering in your makeshift cage whilst rising water blocked you from leaving.

There was probably about a dozen of you actually, all up bright and early to get in a workout before the day started, and instead locked inside of the gym because the idiotic reporters didn’t warn you in advance that LA was due heavy rain and flash flooding.

Okay, technically it wasn’t their fault, the whole point of weather is that you only really know what’s happening as it happens, but surely they had the technology to be able to anticipate when something this extreme was going to occur.

Someone had already called 911, but you wouldn’t bank on them arriving anytime soon. Buck told you how rough days like this were for emergency responders, and considering that none of you were in an immediate emergency, you wouldn’t be surprised if your situation was put on the back burner until they had a team free.

That meant you basically just had to hunker down for a few hours and wait it out.

It shouldn’t have been to hard to past the time, you could technically just extend your workout for a while, but its barely an hour before the power goes out and half of the gym is rendered completely useless.

The group of you end up sitting on the floor in a circle and just talking to pass the time, although making small talk with people you don’t know can only last so long before you run out of things to talk about.

It was more boring than anything, although as the water began to seep through the seal of the glass doors, you knew that boredom wouldn’t last for very long.

—

“This is dispatch, we’ve got a gym flooding at 1123 Vine St #14, there’s 13 people trapped inside,” Josh’s voice crackles through the radio as the 118 lugs themselves back into the truck, soaked from the knees downwards.

“Copy that, 118 is en route,” Bobby presses the radio on his chest, tapping the side of the truck with his hand before climbing into the Captain’s seat.

“Copy 118,” The radio crackles then goes dead, and the truck pulls away from the gas station they were parked at with the ambulance hot on it’s tail.

“Vine St? Me and my girlfriend go to a gym Vine St, it’s great,” Buck talks before he’s even got the headset on, half of his sentence being drowned out as a result.

“Well it can’t be that great if it doesn’t have proper seal on the doors can it?” Eddie’s voice is entirely sarcastic, and Buck hits his arm with the back of his hand in retaliation.

“Hey we don’t know if this is my gym or not, so don’t disrespect the integrity of Wildcard boxing gym until we’re sure that’s where we’re going,” Buck scoffs dramatically, and it earns a laugh from the rest of the team.

“Oh no, how dare you besmirch Buck’s sacred place? That’s his second home you’re talking about,” Hen plays into the joke, and Buck responds emphatically by tapping his right hand against his left bicep.

“Exactly,”

—

“What was that about the ‘integrity’ of your gym Buck?” Eddie blinks up at the sparked out neon sign, jaws resting against his shoulder has he holds them in his right hand.

There was really no mistaking it as someplace else, and for a moment Buck’s focus turns to worry. It was your day off today, what if you’d gone to the gym to take up your time? What if you’d gotten injured in the process? Or god forbid something worse?

“Buck?” His silence is enough for Eddie to look over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. “You good?”

“Yeah— Yeah I’m fine,” Buck shakes his head like he’s trying to physically shake the anxiety from his mind. “Let’s go,”

There’s a short shared glance between Eddie and Hen at Buck’s reply, but it ends with nothing more than a shrug as they forced the automatic doors open to enter the gym, adding another rush of water into the building in the process, one that they definitely could’ve done without considering it was almost at waist level already.

“LAFD!” Bobby wades through the water ahead of the group in the start of the search, calling out periodically in the hopes of a response from anyone from the group of people trapped somewhere inside.

Logic would dictate that they probably would’ve moved to the upper floor, but panic often overrides rationality in these sorts of circumstances, so the team couldn’t ever be too safe in searching the bottom floor.

“Alright, Buck, Chim, I want you to follow me in searching the rest of this floor, Eddie and Hen, go upstairs and find anyone you can,”

There’s an echo of “Copy that!”’s as the team split up to search the building, and as Buck makes his way through the familiar gym layout he can only hope that your months of being together with him has taught you how to best keep yourself safe in an emergency situation like this.

The sight of one of the gym regulars floating face down in the water does not reassure him of that fact.

He swears he almost gags at the sight, a mix of shock and disgust at the smell coming from the man as his corpse floats aimlessly, following the ripples in the water as Buck moves. Then he notices his hands. The back of his right hand specifically.

“Cap—” Buck’s voice is harsh and grainy through the radio, not at all helped by the fact the flood had probably disrupted some of the nearby cell towers making the transmission less clear than it already was. “I found— he had—” Buck’s radio periodically turns to static as he tries to relay his message, but it’s key message thankfully gets through undisrupted. “live electricity—”

—

“LAFD!” Eddie pushes the door open to the upper gym floor with Hen right on his tail, the two scanning the room for anyone immediately visible. “Is anyone there?”

”Here! We’re over here!” Your voice calls from around one of the corners, and you rush out towards the two firefighters with panic written all over your face, completely soaked from head to toe. “Are either of you a paramedic? A stack of weights fell whilst we were trying to create a barrier in case the water rose again and—” You talk whilst leading the two over the the group, and you don’t need to finish your sentence by the time you reach them.

One of the guys was sat against the wall, his left leg resting elevated on a collection of sodden towels and jackets, a nasty purple bruise spreading across the expanse of his foot and up his ankle and a slightly misshapen form to it as a whole.

It was pretty bad.

There’s a short shared glance between Eddie and Hen as they silently agree on the extent of his injury, and Hen kneels down towards him. “Alright, what’s your name sir?” She presses her fingers gingerly to the affected area and earns an immediate groan from the man.

“Antony—” He hisses his name through his teeth from the pain, and several of you collectively wince at the sight.

“Alright Antony, my name’s Hen, and this is Eddie, we’re gonna get you out of here and to a hosptial okay?” Hen gestures to Eddie behind her, and you take a second to furrow your eyebrows at the familiarity of the names. Then you catch the number of their uniform helmets. 118.

That meant Buck was here somewhere. He had to be.

“Please—” He lets out another pained groan as Hen instructs Eddie over to Antony’s other side to get him off the floor.

“How many of you are up here? Is anyone else injured?” Hen’s eyes scan the group for a quick head count, but someone beats her to it.

“There’s twelve of us,” Her voice is meek and almost unstable as she speaks, “There was thirteen but James… he…” She trails off like she knows she won’t be able to finish the sentence, and the intonation is enough for Hen to know what she’s implying.

“Alright…” Hen sighs softly as the groups demeanour dims slightly at the mention of James, and how everyone seems to huddle just that little bit closer together as if to comfort each other in their shared grief. “Can all of you swim?”

“We’ll be fine,” You answer her question with a small nod.

“Okay,” Hen returns your nod with her own before turning her gaze away from you and the group. “Eddie,”

“Got it,” He doesn’t even have to be asked before he’s tugging Antony’s weight over his shoulder to carry him, readying for the journey back down the stairs and hopefully safely out of the building.

The universe had other plans.

“Cap—” You can recognise Buck’s voice immediately, even with all of the radio distortion. “I found— he had— live electricity—”

It’s like a flip switches in Hen and Eddie’s brains at the new information.

“Electricity? That’s bad isn’t it? That’s gotta be bad are we gonna—”

“Nothing is going to happen to anyone.” Hen interrupts the girl’s anxious rambling with a raise of her hand. “Does this building have a rooftop?”

“Yeah uh, it’s— there’s a ladder over here,” One of the male members of the group, one of the employees, leads Hen towards the rooftop fire escape, pulling on the ladder until it collides with the floor. It’s locked though, only the owner has a key,”

“You locked the fire escape?” Eddie sounds more than a little exasperated at the news.

“I don’t know man I just work here—”

“Okay.” Hen interrupts once more, speaking into her radio. “Cap, we’ve got a rooftop exit, you need to get up here.”

“Copy— up now—” The radio continues to glitch on it’s transmission, but it sounds as though the message was properly received.

Getting the hatch open was not as easy, although with more than a little bit of teamwork and a twenty-five pound weight the group managed to force it from it’s hinges and climb everyone up onto the roof and out of any direct danger for the time being.

It was a momentary breath of relief, and the group seemed to agree as everyone practically collapsed in a heap now that the rush of adrenaline was wearing off. Although Eddie and Hen didn’t waste a minute as they set up Antony comfortably against one of the walls and began examining the rest of the group.

“Can you follow this light for me?” Hen holds up a penlight in front of your face, eyes following yours to judge your reactions and your pupillary response.

“I’m really okay, you should spend your time working on the people who really need you,” You follow her instructions even whilst trying to dissuade her gently, and she gives you a sharp shake of her head.

“Everyone’s important sweetheart, I’m just making sure you haven’t got any hidden injuries at even you don’t know about,” She clicks off her pen light once she’s satisfied, and then gives you a small pat on your shoulder before looking past you with an expression of relief on her face.

You follow her gaze yourself to be met with three other firefighters from the 118, presumably those from the first floor, and you don’t so much as have time to even register their faces in your mind before you’re being picked up into one of their arms and held in an almost bone-crushing hug.

“Thank god you’re okay—” You wouldn’t have even had to have heard his voice to know your proxy kidnapper was Buck, but hearing him is more than relieving for the small anxious part of your brain that was scared to death over his safety.

“I’m fine I’m fine—” Your words are echoed by a small laugh as your feet touch the floor again, and the two of you carefully peel yourselves from each other in your joined dampened state. “Are you okay?”

The two of you are caught up in your emotions enough that you essentially completely ignore the presence of the rest of Buck’s coworkers, oblivious to the looks they were giving you—and each other— in the process.

“I’m fine,” Buck nods as he pulls off his helmet, and you finally get a proper look at his face, dirty and soaked and so unbelievably kissable that you really can’t help yourself.

It’s what calls your attention back to the fact that there are indeed other people present, spurred by a short whistle from Chimney that leaves the two of you pulling away with flustered expressions.

“Uh—” Buck clears his throat into his elbow, using his free arm to pull you carefully against his side. “Guys, this is—”

“An absolute angel? It’s a pleasure to finally meet you properly,” Hen interrupts Buck’s introduction of you to reach out to you herself, her tone full of enthusiasm. “Buck does not stop taking about you,”

“Seriously, it’s 24/7,” Chimney adds on to Hen’s declaration with a determined gesture of his hand, and you don’t know whether to be flattered or embarrassed by the attention.

You’d been looking forward to meeting the team that Buck called family, truly, but you were not expecting to meet them like this.

You were absolutely drenched in flood water, probably covered in dirt, and most definitely looked like you’d been dragged through somebodies hedge.

Buck looks more proud than anything, and gives your side a small squeeze as he introduces you to everyone. “Hen and Chim,” The pair give you enthusiastic smiles, “That’s Eddie over there,” Eddie sticks his hand up in a makeshift wave as he focuses on properly wrapping Antony’s ankle with what’s available. “And this is Bobby,”

“It’s really a pleasure,” Bobby holds his right hand out to you, and you shake it politely, lips pressed into an almost nervous smile.

“It’s great to meet you all, Buck has told me a lot about all of you,” You let out a small, almost pathetic laugh at the end of your sentence. “I’m sorry we’re meeting like this,”

Hen waves you off with her hand and a laugh of her own. “Trust me, weirder things have happened,”

“Oh 100%,” Chimney nods in conjunction with Hen’s statement. “Welcome to the family,”

You give another small laugh and a “thank you,” as you settle yourself against Buck’s side, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head a with a content smile.

This might not have been the way he wanted you to meet the team, but it was perfectly unusual in its own way. And it was silently agreed that you were a perfect fit.

“So, uh, how are we getting down from here?” You turn your head over your shoulder to look over the edge of the roof, and the still high floods that covered most of the fire engine parked on the road.

“Uh…”

#9 1 1 #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #9 1 1 fanfiction #buck x reader #evan buckley fluff #oliver stark #asks 🚒

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trashcanonfire · 6 months

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#i really hate when i just don't vibe with an objectively good series #like #i couldn't finish only friends even thought it's good #i know it's good! the actors are great! they are acting so well!#but i just didn't vibe with something #like. i loved ray and sand and i thought boston could be a really ''love to hate them'' or even an ''i love my drama gremlin'' character #but idk #i think i just didn't care for mew and top. they were so annoying to me #and when i got the spoiler that ray was ''dating'' mew it just made me sooo dissapointed and bored #idk idk #i guess it's because i hate love triangles #or maybe i just really didn't vibe with the mew/top and they were suppised to be the ''main'' characters #and it's frustrating to me because it's objectively a good series #it's well made and well written and well acted #most of the characters are compelling and complex with a lot of potential #would've loved to see a deeper exploration of themes like idk. becoming an adult and class differences and addiction and non monogamy #but unfortunately i just. saw mew and ray dancing and got soooo annoyed because. idk #there were so many story lines and plots to explore and i just didn't like that one #and it made me so irrationally annoyed that i. just. couldn't finish it #which sucks because i know there's development of characters and storylines i actually care about #anyway this is just a rant to get my feeling in order so i can try to understand them to see if starting playboyyy is worth it #or if i have to deconstruct some personal biases/prejudices/etc before beginning #rant over

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prettycoolducks · 4 months

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just finished playing portal revolution. I like evil science lady and her rabid vacuum cleaner

#my art #portal revolution #very well put together portal mod #puts in on the shelf with stories mel of good portal mods i have played that connect gaps in the story or add to it in some way #i think i shall put this in the portal tag as well. apologies if it does not belong there #portal #portal 2 #this mod was well written and well voice acted. only thing i didnt like so much was the ending. them being sent to the moon was funnny tho #i mean the after credits scene made me feel better but at first i was just like. huh? so they just all die in the end?#it was a bit fast paced like riiiight at the end. the very very end #also while im talking ive noticed a lot of portal mods struggle with 'boss fights' and making them puzzles but still fast paced.#which is fair because its hard to make fast paced puzzles while still being challenging while still being easy etc etc #the puzzles in the last chamber were a bit confusing to figure out at first and i got stuck a lot #which led me to just standing there trying to figure out where to go at times which slowed down the pacing #the rest of the puzzles were great tho. maybe a bit easy but still great #also i spent like 5 hours in the game! so far! thats a good 5 hours of extra portal content! woohoo!#art of duck

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m4ndysk4nkovich · 4 months

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i really want people to realize that i don’t hate lip or fiona because i think people may be starting to think that. lip’s my third favorite gallagher, i don’t like his actions and i personally believe he’s a misogynist but he is also one of the best written characters on the show

#fiona’s writing isn’t as good #it’s fine but emmy’s acting makes it better #lip and debbie are probably the most well written if you ask me #like as much as ian is my favorite they make him say so many ooc things and often use him just to mock queer people #and his writing started off pretty good but it got to a point where it seemed sloppier #i think that cameron’s acting and the gallavich romance plot really helped fix the mistakes the writers made with him #carl and liam are probably the worst writing wise because carl is literally just used for comedic relief half the time #as for liam he barely spoke for 7 seasons and they never understood what to do with him #but debbie and lip are solid characters and all of their actions make perfect sense considering what they endured #and while this also applies to characters like ian and fiona- as i said their writing tends to be a little weirder #just my opinion tho and it isn’t slander of anyone but john wells #shameless #lip gallagher #fiona gallagher

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capfalcon · 1 month

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btw media literacy is not the same thing as english class and i am please begging people to read more about media literacy because it is so far from english class, signed sincerly someone with a degree in media studies

#media is MEDIA #and media literacy by definition is not about #pulling meaning from literature/written word #media is tv entertainment advertising etc #music too #media is MEDIA once again. it is not fucking literature #and media literacy is not just understanding what you read. it is about #being able to parse and filter and analyze IN REAL TIME because you have done the prior work in #recognizing where media comes from the global forces at play the social forces and cultural background that relates #media literacy is so far from english class that it actually hurts me #and media literacy as well is about action!#its about fighting back against untruths and seeing what the truth really is #and by saying its the same as media literacy thats just. wrong #like. saying media literacy is the same as english class actually makes my blood boil #media literacy is a very specific term with a very specific definition. and im not shitting on the person who made that post #but i would go so far as to say its entirely inaccurate.#they are not the same and they are not comparable and acting like they are #makes the world LESS media literate.#jordan rants

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mitamicah · 2 months

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Sad Micah hours. Yay.

#I said I was scared about getting my hopes up right?#well I have been hitting myself so much in a head about it that I now feel sad #and then seeing all of you guys being so happy having all these wonderful experiences with the boys #I want to be only happy for you #and I am #mostly #I just ... cannot help but feel left out #especially in two instances where 1) I was close to having experienced it myself #and 2) all this person has written to me about was their 'wow I wish that were me' stories for days now #I know this is my own fault #that me being annoyed is really me being entitled #that I shouldn't expect anything #that this is my feelings and they are bad #setting my boundaries with one of said people however has made me feel even worse #like I don't deserve to meet the band if I act like this #entitled brat as I am #maybe I should just meet up and shut up #not even bother taking my sign with me or the gifts I made #just smile and give out stickers because that is all I seem good for #we are coming very close to self hating territory here #I am sorry #micahs thoughts

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lucy-moderatz · 1 year

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#tv: hannibal #hannibaledit #tvedit #:'(#oh god #it's so painful #but it's so well written and well acted and it just hurts to look at #character: jack crawford #character: bella crawford #things i made

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compacflt · 10 months

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Sorry for the ridiculous ask (really it's unforgivable), but:

Iceman went to NYC to see A Chorus Line in '87.

2. Confirmed watched Sound of Music with Carole for her birthday.

Am I connecting any dots here and did Ice have to go to Hamilton as a publicity stunt in the last year of the Obama presidency?

oh no anon im being very intentional with my ice-musical-theatre links. its easy lazy writing shorthand for him being gay lol. even if he isn’t actively seeing shows he does put the tonys on in the background every year just bc he likes the color and dancing

he’s not a fan of rap and he doesn’t like how Hamilton bastardized american history for its own political aims thereby convincing multiple generations of laymen of factoids that simply aren’t true (Hamilton was strictly speaking not an immigrant & could only extremely loosely be called an abolitionist of any stripe) but he’s also a milquetoast liberal so he says he likes it for clout but he’s also a military flag officer so no one is really expecting him to go see Hamilton for publicity purposes so idk

the pentagon circa 2016:

#don’t ask me about Hamilton. It’s what got me into American/military history in the first place. i literally have so many thoughts.#I did a mil history book rec post a couple months ago & in it I said Ron Chernow sometimes makes shit up?#lin Manuel Miranda was inspired by chernows biography of Hamilton but chernow Just Made Shit Up!!!!#I feel about Hamilton the way I feel about the historicity of my own fics: do not take anything as a fact. every word is #politically motivated. not a bad thing #good rhetorical goals #but it’s a work of fiction.#i got started writing fanfiction by writing Hamilton fic in 8th grade 😭😭❤️#they’re still up there!!!#on ao3!!!#still get kudos once a month or something #absolutely unreal #& I actually take all my cues of how to act in fandom spaces from one very popular historical Hamilton account on here #whom I’ve been following since 2017 #they’re the ones who proved to me that fanfiction could still be as heavy and well written as literature.#so really thank Hamilton for my fics and im not joking at all.

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lcs-library · 8 months

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After much procrastination, I can now say that acting angels are officially a couple!!!!

Lucille carefully cracked open the door to the theater, glancing over the dimly lit house until her eyes met the ones of another on the stage.

“Hi, Saku!” She greeted cheerfully, not even thinking to be quiet despite the late hour.

“Oh! Hey, Lu!” Sakuya returned, sitting up on his futon.

Lucille ran down the aisle towards the stage, smiling giddily while her bedding bounced in her arms. She bounded on top of the stage, setting her things down.

“Where are the others?” She asked, spreading out her futon.

“Pretty much everyone except for Citron cancelled,” Sakuya replied, disappointed.

“Seriously?! That’s so lame!”

“I know! It’s strange that they’d all turn down something like this.”

“Maybe. Wanna just wait for Citron for now?”

“Yeah, sure.”

With that, silence was cast upon them as they awkwardly sat for a moment, trying to figure out exactly what to do in this situation. That was, until Sakuya’s phone vibrated, startled the two of them. He picked it up, only for his face to fall.

“It’s from Citron,” he said, defeated.

“Oh?”

“He says he won’t be able to make it, either. Apparently the mahjong club is having a tournament tonight.”

“Really?” Lu’s brow furrowed, “I didn’t hear anything about that.”

“Me either,” Sakuya added, “maybe it was a surprise or something?”

“Maybe.”

The silence fell once more. The two actors stared anywhere but the other’s eyes, trying and failing to ease the tension, even if they’d been alone together around a thousand times.

Lu fixed her bedding. Sakuya flipped through his script. Neither of them wanted to admit something they both knew now was the right time for.

Finally, Lu sucked in a breath and spoke.

“Saku?”

Said boy perked up.

“There’s something I should tell you,” she said shyly, her volume lowering.

Sakuya’s eyebrows shot up. This was his chance. Sure, it may not have been his original plan, but if it was what he thought it was, he might as well give it a go, right?

“Me too, actually.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you wanna go first, or should I?”

“What about at the same time?”

“Sure, that works,” Lu agreed, wringing her hands in anticipation, “on the count of three?”

“Yeah. Are you ready?”

Lu nodded.

“Three, two, one…”

“I love you,” they said in unison.

Lu’s eyes widened. Sakuya’s did the same.

“I love you,” they repeated, again perfectly in sync.

Sakuya stared at her in disbelief.

“You mean, like, as more…than friends?” He asked.

“Do you?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

“Me too:”

Another bout of silence, this one even more nerve-wracking than the previous two. Questions swarmed in their heads, ones of “what now?” and “do they really mean that? To me?”

“You know, I did actually have a whole confession planned,” Sakuya stated.

“Can I see?” Lu begged.

“I mean, it’s already over with, so it wouldn’t really do much.”

“So? That doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hear it.”

Sakuya felt his face heat up, suddenly utterly and completely embarrassed about what he had planned for weeks.

Eve still, he summoned his courage, took a deep breath, and stood up, guiding her to a seat in the front row of the theater before he stepped back onto the stage.

“My portrait: Sakuya Sakuma.

“When I was a kid, both of my parents died, leaving me to be tossed between homes. During that time, my only goal was to make myself small, to be inconvenient. I didn’t want to bother them more than I already had. Even then, I was seen as a nuisance, and I had to try every day to make them keep me. They’d pretend their love was unconditional, but we all knew the truth. The second I became a burden, it was on to the next house and the cycle began again.

“I never really had an escape from that constant fear, no matter how many friends I stayed with. That was what theater became for me. A way to let myself go, to be someone else for a bit and not worry about those pressures. That riverbank became my own little world, where only I could exist.

“That was until you came along. You sat in my world for a bit, listening to my stories. Maybe you thought I couldn’t see you, maybe you didn’t. Either way, you gave me a little bit of hope that somebody out there wanted to hear what I had to say, even if it wasn’t really me saying those words. I wish we talked back then. I wish you could have known what that meant to me.

“And then you joined Mankai, and all of those feelings grew stronger. I got to hear your stories and I wanted to listen forever. I still do. And I hope you feel the same.

“But most of all, through all this, I found out one thing.”

It was here that he stepped off of the stage, stopping right in front of Lu’s eyes to take her hand in his.

“I love you.”

There was no applause, only a light gasp from Lu. How does one respond to something like that? She closed her eyes, searching for her words.

“Thank you. You already know my response.”

Sakuya chuckled lightly.

“I do.”

He gently lifted her hand to his face, kissing her knuckle. His lips were warm, warmer than she could have imagined, not to mention the way their hands interlocked, as if they were made for each other. For once, the silence was comfortable, welcome, even.

Sakuya led Lu up to the stage to join him, sitting with her.

“So, now what?” She prompted.

“I… I don’t know,” he replied.

“Me neither.”

A pause.

“Do you want to sleep on it?” He asked.

“Yeah, let’s just do that for now.”

Lu moved her futon to be side-by-side with her love’s, climbing under the blankets as Sakuya did the same. Rolling over, the two faced each other.

“Good night, Saku. I love you.”

“Love you too,” he repeated, taking her hand under the covers. She smiled, closing her eyes to join him in slumber.

#the noise I made writing the moment towards the end…. ough…..#there’s a ton of random trivia for this fic that I’ll post tomorrow!!!! yay!!!!#fanfiction #yume time #acting angels #tbh this. isn’t well written but it’s here!!! I don’t care what you think!!!

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