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drawlfoy · 5 years

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Accio Malfoy

masterlist request guidelines (please read if you request!) requests are open!

stole the gif from @dracomalfoyedit so give them creds for draco’s pretty face

pairing: draco x slytherintransfer!reader

request: yes! you know who you are :)

summary: reader transfers into hogwarts and is sorted into slytherin. draco malfoy is the bane of her existence until suddenly he’s not

warnings: language because uh...you know who i am haha

a/n: i’m a little sorry for making this so similar to faux diplomacy, but honestly idk if i’m ever gonna finish that one and if i do it’s gonna be way different and way angstier. here’s something to hold my american/non uk readers off with until i get the next chapter of that out haha

music recs: the night we met - lord huron

word count: 5,293

tags! @accio-rogers @geeksareunique

Y/N had never felt as out of place as she did standing with the first years in the Great Hall, each of them eagerly awaiting their sorting. She easily had at least a foot on the tallest child there--but then again, they didn’t use feet here as a unit of measurement. They used...meters? Centimeters? She had no clue, but whatever it was, it was confusing.

Yet another reason why she didn’t want to be at Hogwarts. Her father was so thrilled when he told her that they’d be moving to the UK for...well, the rest of her schooling. He’d forever thought that Ilvermorny lacked the intimate education she needed with thousands of students attending and jumped on the first job opening at the British Ministry of Magic.

Was she mad? Yes, of course. She was already missing her friends terribly and felt so awkward standing with a bunch of children. Y/N didn’t have to look to know that everyone’s eyes were on her, wondering why there was an immensely overgrown 11 year old in their midst.

But was she going to make the best out of it? Yeah, probably.

A tall, elderly man with a scraggly white beard stepped up onto the podium, tapping his throat with his wand to amplify his speech. “Welcome back, fellow students of Hogwarts, and a very special welcome to our newest additions.” He tilted his head down to acknowledge the gaggle of children at his feet. “You all may notice that we have an especially interesting newcomer here tonight. Hogwarts is pleased to welcome its arms to our first Ilvermorny transfer student in over a century...a Miss Y/N Y/L/N!”

Grandly gesturing towards Y/N, he beamed down at her and and raised his free hand as if to request applause. The studentry obeyed, and soon the dining hall was filled with polite clapping that echoed.

The old man, who Y/N presumed to be the headmaster, spoke for a few more moments after, musing on the beauty of international connections and what it meant to be a gracious host. She heard it, but she wasn’t really listening. All she could think of was the sorting hat and what it was going to say.

Back home, or at least what she used to call home, she was a Horned Serpent. She had no idea what that translated to at Hogwarts--perhaps she’d be a Ravenclaw? Or a Slytherin, she had heard about their unmatched ambition, but also their petulance.

Y/N didn’t even realize that everyone was waiting on her until a kind first year tugged at her sleeve and pointed up at the podium. An older witch was standing there, holding the tattered and worn hat that had to have been the Sorting Hat.

“I said, please come up and be sorted, Y/N Y/L/N.” Her accent had a pleasing lilt that Y/N wasn’t expecting.

Fighting back a blush, she dipped her head and rushed onto the elevated platform, thanking Merlin that she didn’t trip on the way up. The witch motioned to the chair in front of her, and Y/N sat down, facing the sea of students.

Everyone watched in charged silence as the hat was lowered onto her head. An overwhelming smell of hickory and old leather overpowered her...but not much else was to be expected from a relic that was centuries old.

Y/N waited for the Sorting Hat to make conversation like it was rumored to, but the second she felt it touch her hair, it made a decision.

“SLYTHERIN!”

Gasps filled the hall with the promptness of the sorting. Even the witch that had placed it on her head looked humored as Y/N got up and walked off, slightly dazed.

She was guided towards a table with an abundance of green, choosing a seat near a black haired boy who didn’t look too threatening. He looked up as she slid onto the bench next to him, sending her a mischievous grin.

“Welcome to Slytherin. I’m Theodore Nott.”

Y/N made quick friends with Theodore, or Theo, as he asked her to call him. He told her the ins and outs of the Slytherin lifestyle and told her the password for their common room.

“Why basilisk, though?” Y/N asked as they sat in the common room together. “Did something happen?”

He shrugged, a mysterious glint in his eye. “Long story. It happened a while back. There used to be a basilisk in Hogwarts, hidden somewhere far away.”

“I would hope.”

They were silent for a few moments as Y/N picked at her nail polish.

“I’ll ask Daphne to show you to your room,” Theo finally said. “And we can sit next to each other for breakfast if you’d like. Slytherin doesn’t necessarily have the friendliest people.”

Y/N smiled gratefully as she watched him flag down a strawberry blonde girl who looked about their age.

“Let me guess,” the girl said as she approached the two. “She needs someone to show her to her room?”

Theo opened his mouth, but Y/N beat him. “Yeah, is that alright?”

Daphne studied her for a few moments. Y/N could feel her passing judgements on her.

“Yes, come with me,” she said after a bit, a vague expression on her face. “Say goodbye to Theo, though. He can’t come with us. We have wards, you know.”

“I assumed so.”

Y/N stood, turning and waving a goodbye to Theo. Daphne took her by the arm and led her to the other side of the common room, down a few stairs, and to a tall, daunting looking black door.

“You can’t bring guys in here,” she said lazily. “And on that note...”

She ushered Y/N inside, shutting the door behind them and glancing around the empty corridor they had entered.

“Don’t even think about Theo.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Good, because he’s not into girls,” Daphne dutifully told her, knitting her eyebrows together.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Do you have a problem with that?”

Startled by the sudden abrasiveness, Y/N took a few steps back. “No, no, of course not. Thanks for telling me.”

Daphne’s face cracked a small smile. “I think you’ll fit in alright here, then. Just don’t mess with anyone...at least not anymore than you absolutely have to.”

Y/N grinned back. “Of course not.”

The time difference sucked. Y/N had crashed the moment she had sat down on her bed the night before, but now it was 5 in the morning and she was wide awake.

Swinging up over her bed, she noticed that her roommates, Millicent and Tracey, were both snoring softly in their blanket cocoons. She sighed, taking extra care to be quiet on her way out of the room.

Theo had told her how the common room was open at all hours, just as long as you weren’t too rowdy. No one else would be up at 5am--it’d be absurd, so she was looking forward to writing letters to her friends in peace.

The cold dungeon floor chilled the balls of her feet as she ascended the steps into the dark common room. The little light available was a soft green hue cast from the lake water on the windows. Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if the sun had even peaked over the horizon yet.

“What are you doing?” a male voice hissed from across the room. Y/N whipped around to see an unfamiliar looking blonde boy curled up on a dark green couch. His body faced the extinguished fireplace, but his head was turned to glare at her.

The dim lighting didn’t conceal his features, and Y/N was immediately stunned. The boy was unusually pretty, with high, defined cheekbones and moonbeam blonde hair. His silver irises were so bright that the darkness did nothing to hide them.

“I know the academics at Ilvermorny aren’t stellar, but they at least taught you how to speak, right?”

Y/N flushed red, grateful for the low lighting as it helped hide her embarrassment. “Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone out here so early.”

The boy snorted, and Y/N took note of his cruel expression. Suddenly he seemed much less accessible. “Yeah, well, I am.” He stared at her, seemingly expecting her to do something.

Y/N took it as an invitation to walk over to his couch, sitting herself a healthy distance away from him.

“I was actually hoping you’d leave me be.” He glowered at her from the other end of the couch.

“And what, let you brood all alone? As if,” she responded, hardly missing a beat. Y/N wasted no time in rolling out her parchment to write. “I have just as much privilege to be here as you.”

She could’ve sworn that she heard him huff, but he didn’t verbally protest, so there was a start.

“You Americans really are pushy,” he sniggered after she had begun to write her first letter.

“And you Brits really are entitled daddy’s boys, huh?”

That shut him up.

“What’s your name, anyways?” Y/N paused long enough from her writing to look him in the eyes.

“Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.” His tone was stiff and unnatural, like a 12 year old boy trying on a suit for the very first time. “It’s Malfoy to you, though.”

“Draco?” Y/N giggled. “Your parents must be...uh....interesting.”

He frowned. “Malfoy to you!”

“Okay, okay. Anything to keep you from getting your panties in a twist.”

Another glance at Draco confirmed that he was very, very, irritated. “Can’t you just go antagonize your roommates or something? I was here first.”

Y/N shrugged. There was no way she was going to be able to finish her writing the prick kept talking anyways. “Sure. Don’t worry though--I’ll be back, Draco.”

She chuckled to herself as she saw his features darken, his mood clearly souring before her eyes. Following her judgement, she scampered back to her dorm room to avoid being hexed.

“I heard you met Malfoy, huh?” Theo asked Y/N, carefully buttering a piece of toast.

“Yeah, he’s a real charmer,” she snorted. “Thinking he owns the whole common room and whatnot.”

“You’ve just got to stay out of his way,” Theo said. “I don’t think he’ll give you too much trouble. You are a Slytherin, after all. He’d have to be mental to waste energy going after one of his own.”

Y/N smirked at the thought as she pushed her eggs around the plate. As much as she hated to admit it, the food at Hogwarts wasn’t half bad. Meals felt much more intimate under the soft daylight, whereas at Ilvermorny bright fluorescent bulbs illuminated the room.

She finished eating with Theo quickly and turned to her right to see a grumpy looking Millicent.

“I heard you tossing and turning all night,” Millicent said. “If you make me spend another night listening to you, I’m killing you and throwing you into the lake.”

“You lot really are sweethearts,” Y/N responded absentmindedly, sipping her tea. “In all actuality, though, I’ll probably sleep better tonight. I’m sorry about that.”

Millicent visibly softened. “No, it’s alright. I know it must be hard and all...isn’t it nighttime in America?”

Y/N checked her watch, still ticking at the eastern timezone of the US.

“Yeah. All my friends are sleeping right now. I’m jealous.”

That earned a small laugh out of Millicent, prompting Y/N to smile back at her.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Y/N’s hopefulness soon diminished by her second period as she struggled to find her way to potions.

“I thought you’d have an easier time finding the dungeons, you resembling a sewer rat and all.” A cold voice sounded to her right, and combined with the sudden rough push on her shoulder, she was surprised and yelped.

“A jumpy sewer rat too, huh?” Draco Malfoy raised an eyebrow and turned to keep walking.

“Hey!” Y/N’s hand darted out to snatch his sleeve. “Hey, Draco! Watch your mouth, buddy!”

Yanking his arm out of her grasp, he sent her a glare that could cut through stone. “Malfoy. Not Draco.”

“That’s funny, because I specifically remember you telling me that your name was Draco.”

He was about to say something back, no doubt a threat, but another boy swooped in.

“C’mon, Y/N, he’s just teasing you,” Theo murmured, taking care to send Draco a disapproving look. “Don’t waste your time on him. Come hang out with me and Daphne.”

Y/N allowed herself to be pulled away to Theo’s group of friends, all the while still glaring at Draco.

“Chill out, America,” Daphne said, waving her hand in front of Y/N’s face. “He’s not worth the energy. He’ll move on to someone else soon enough.”

“Whatever you say.”

Theo and Daphne walked her down to Snape’s classroom, taking extra care to keep her out of Draco’s path. Y/N was lost in thought on her walk to Potions, riding a sea of conflicting emotions.

On one hand, she wanted to make sure she didn’t spend the rest of the year being harassed by a little rich boy. On the other...he was painfully attractive, and while it was shameful to admit, knowing that he was paying her mind made her blush and her heart race.

Y/N was, by no means, an attention whore, but she’d be lying to herself if she said that she wanted Draco to completely leave her alone. She was in a foreign country, after all, and British accents were, well, exceedingly hot. There was no fault in her wanting to have a little fun.

Walking into the classroom, she was pleased to spot an empty table. Daphne and Theo took seats to her left, leaving an empty chair to her right. She allowed her thoughts to wander to places she shouldn’t have, shaking her head to clear her mind afterwards.

She was being ridiculous. Draco was not going to come over and sit with her just because there was one empty seat at her table.

In that moment, Y/N felt as though she was catapulted back into her 3rd year, where she was a cringy boy obsessed mess.

Chill, Y/N she thought to herself. Stop acting like a child.

Potions went on without a hitch. Y/N saw a flash of blonde hair in the corner of her eye, but she didn’t dare look. He didn’t come sit with her, so it wasn’t like looking in his direction would accomplish anything anyways.

“Whoa, Y/N, they said unicorn tail, not unicorn horn,” Daphne said, yanking Y/N’s hand away from the cauldron. “Can you read?”

“Yeah, do they teach that in the slums where you’re from?” a familiar cold voice added from behind them.

Y/N spun around to see an amused looking Draco sitting at the empty table behind them, propping his chin up with his palm.

“If you’re going to insult me, can you at least come up with new content?”

The side of his mouth quirked. “I don’t owe you anything.”

Y/N shrugged, tossing the shaved unicorn horn into the rubbish bin below her. “Fine, stay unoriginal. You bore me.”

Draco slunk out of his seat, retreating back to his rightful table.

“Give it roughly a week,” Theo told her sympathetically. “He’s a class A git, and then he gets bored, and then he forgets about you and doesn’t pay you any more mind.”

“But you’re not helping,” Daphne added, mincing some greengrass. “If you really want him to leave you alone, then stop engaging him. You’re making this fun for Malfoy by reacting to him.”

“I can handle myself,” said Y/N. “It seems like harmless fun, and plus, Draco can’t be that intolerable. He has friends.”

Theo paused from his chopping to look at her quizzically. “He has minions. And Parkinson, who you don’t want to associate with. The only thing Malfoy is good for is trouble and drama. I don’t think he has a kind bone in his body.”

“But he’s quick-witted and interesting. Don’t you two want to know more about him?”

“No!” Theo and Daphne answered in unison.

“Let me guess,” Daphne said, tipping her ingredients into the cauldron. “You think he’s hot.”

Y/N shrugged, her face burning. “I’m not blind.”

The witch offered her a sad smile, the most genuine expression she’d worn all day. “Be careful, then. I obviously can’t tell you what to do, and it’s not like it’d affect me much anyways, but between you and me, I wouldn’t go for him. Lots of girls like him, you know.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Y/N butted in. “You’re saying all of this like I expect something to happen. I’m just bored. I don’t expect anything to come out of this, and I don’t even know if I would want...that. I hardly know him, after all.”

Theo and Daphne both seemed satisfied with her answer. Y/N took advantage of the silence to add the untangled unicorn tail, watching as it turned the potion a milky blue.

Y/N spent the next few days acclimating to her new schedule and avoiding Draco (as per the request of Theo and Daphne). Classes at Hogwarts weren’t as spaced out as they were at Ilvermorny--there were just 3x as many stairs. She was by no means grossly out of shape, but jogging up and down the moving staircases proved to be a challenge.

“Do they not have stairs in America either?”

Y/N didn’t even bother turning around to face the person who spoke to her on her way to Charms. She’d recognize that snotty voice anywhere. “If you don’t get new content, I’m pushing you down them.”

Draco snickered behind her. “Don’t give me any ideas.”

She decided to not entertain him for any longer, choosing to be silent. The staircase creaked its way over to the corridor they were heading, taking its sweet time.

The air was thick with electrified silence, and Y/N was struck with the thought that she had never seen Draco be so quiet for such a long period of time.

The staircase came to a sudden stop, lurching both students forward. Y/N fell flat on her face, her hands dangling over the top of the staircase into thin air.

“What the fuck?” Y/N exclaimed, scooting back as to not fall over the edge. The staircase was now simply suspended in midair, neither parts touching the hallway entrances.

She finally turned around to see Draco just once step down, sprawled out in a similar fashion. “It’s just something that happens every once and a while.” He was casual, seemingly unworried. “I’ve never personally witnessed it, though. They’re just due for maintenance.”

Y/N gaped at him.

“So they just let students on these things without checking if they’re maintained?”

Draco shrugged, getting up to his feet and gripping onto the railing. “To my understanding, they only need to be re-enchanted once every few centuries. I can hardly blame the administration.”

“So what do we do? Wait it out and be late for Charms?”

“Is that really the biggest of your worries?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, folding her knees up to her chest. “What, am I allotted only a certain number of concerns now? Is that how this is gonna be?”

“Don’t be so melodramatic,” he said, motioning over his shoulder. “It’s not like we can’t just jump off at the bottom of the stairs.”

Y/N stole a glance behind him and realized he was right. It would be a bit of a leap, but if they tried, they could make it to some random corridor she had never seen before. “I don’t think I can make that with my books, though, and I’m too afraid to levitate them over the edge.”

Draco seemed to ponder this for a bit. “Me neither. I can go first and leave my things with you, and then you can pass both our things over, and then I’ll help you across. With you having shorter legs and whatnot.”

Y/N fought back a bitter remark in response to his thoughts about her legs.

“Yeah. We can try.”

It took Y/N a bit to hype Draco up about the leap as the two stood overlooking the edge.

“Don’t worry, you can totally make that,” she told him. “If you don’t, I swear I’ll try and levitate you back to safety. Or maybe I’ll Accio Draco or something. We’ll see.”

Draco snorted. “First of all, I’m offended that you don’t trust yourself enough to levitate your textbooks but feel perfectly fine levitating me. Second of all, it’s Accio Malfoy to you.”

“Accio Draco Malfoy,” Y/N corrected. “If I say Accio Malfoy, I’m being too vague. Any one of your family members could come flying at me, full force. We’d have some explaining to do.”

“No, you would, because I’d already be a splat on the ground below us.”

Y/N laughed then, pleasantly surprised with his level of bantering. His own eyes twinkled as a few smile creases appeared around his face.

“Nothing a little Dittany and pumpkin juice can’t fix,” she said cheerily. “Off you go.”

Draco steeled his face, any vulnerability disappearing. He shed his cloak and dropped his books on the ground, walking up a few extra steps to give him more speed.

“Be careful, Draco,” she added, resting her weight against the staircase. “I’ll be even later to Charms if I have to track down a house elf to clean up a body on the base level.”

“Malfoy,” was the last thing he muttered before he jogged to the end of the staircase, gracefully leaping across the gap. Y/N’s breath caught for a split second, but he stuck the landing, spinning around to beam at her.

“Told you. Easy.”

“I literally never recall you saying that.”

He dramatically threw his hands up. “I put my life on the line, sacrifice my soul to save your textbooks and this is how you repay me?”

“I thought you said it was easy.” She cocked an eyebrow, smirking back at him.

He stood there for a few moments, his features suddenly softening as he gazed at her. “Pass me my cloak and things. We haven’t got all day.”

Y/N obeyed, gathering up his things and separating them from hers. He had thrown his books so haphazardly that she was having a difficult time telling the difference between the two. She slung his cloak over her shoulder as she worked, opening the books and searching for names. Neither of their Potions books were marked up, much to her disappointment.

“Hurry up?” Draco’s voice was no longer as harsh as before, ending like a question instead of a command.

“I’m going as fast as I can,” she told him.

Before she could finish flipping through their textbooks--she knew she had written something somewhere--the staircase began screeching again.

Y/N’s eyes shot up, meeting Draco’s. They looked just as confused as hers.

The staircase began moving again, albeit much slower and wobblier than usual.

“Y/N, you need to jump!” His voice was filled with an urgency Y/N had never heard from the boy before.

“But my books...”

“Do it!”

Against her better judgment, she grabbed her satchel with her wand and stationary and leapt off the end of the staircase, praying that she had enough momentum to make it to Draco.

A pale arm reached out and snatched her, pulling her the rest of the distance. Y/N hit the ground with ungraceful smack, pulling Draco down on top of her.

“Are you alright?”

Y/N opened her eyes to see Draco inches from her face, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He had very pretty eyes, and if she looked close enough, she could see the slightest hints of blue in his grey eyes.

“My books,” she croaked.

“You really should’ve been a Ravenclaw.”

With that, Draco got off of her, sitting up against the wall and looking out at the staircase. Y/N followed suit, ignoring her aching body.

She gasped as she saw what was in front of her--the staircase was rotating, turning upside down and throwing everything that had been on it to the ground.

“Maybe I should’ve just bit the bullet and levitated them anyways,” Y/N sighed, scooting a little closer to Draco, who laughed.

“Don’t worry about it too much. I’m pretty sure the school will replace them free of charge...if that’s something you’re concerned about. This was their fault.”

Y/N decided to ignore the subtle financial reference. “Fair point. I’m just upset that I’m missing Charms.”

Draco bumped her with his shoulder. “I’m not. This was way more entertaining than that blasted class would ever be.”

“I’m touched.”

“No, really, I guess they do teach you how to banter at Ilvermorny.”

“No.” Y/N smiled. “I’m just a natural talent.”

“That you are.”

Draco looked into her eyes for a few moments before snapping out of it. “We should go back to the dorms and find Snape. He’ll get this fixed immediately.”

Y/N was already on her feet, brushing off the dust on her robes. “Of course. Here’s your cloak, by the way.”

He looked her up and down.

“Keep it, at least until you get your own washed. You look like you’ve been living in squalor. I wasn’t expecting the floors to be that dirty.”

“But this’ll be way too big for me!”

“Would you rather look like someone who accidentally ordered the wrong size or like someone who spends her free time rolling around in dust piles?”

When Y/N rolled her eyes and turned away from him, he took that as an answer. “Exactly. I’m sure they won’t look awful. Just...do it now.”

Feeling slightly self conscious, Y/N peeled off her dirty cloak, setting it on the ground and reaching for Draco’s.

As expected, the sleeves went way past her hands. Y/N held it up to him as evidence, cocking an eyebrow.

“C’mere,” he said, rolling his eyes (but still smiling slightly). She stepped forward and watched in shock as Draco gently cuffed her (his?) sleeves so they barely brushed the middles of her wrists. “You’re such a drama queen. This was such an easy fix.”

“Oh, I’m the drama queen?”

“I never said I wasn’t one too!”

“You implied it!”

“I most certainly did not!”

“You’re the one who made me put it on in the first place!”

“Because I was being chivalrous!”

“Oh, because chivalry is the first thing I think of when I think of you!”

Draco stepped forward, catching her wrist and pushed her back into the wall. Y/N stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Thinking of me now, huh, are we?” His words held a light tone, but the look on his face and proximity of him hinted at a deeper meaning.

“Sure?” answered Y/N, her voice much higher than usual. “So?”

Y/N had meant to challenge him to another battle of wits, but Draco seemed to take it as a different invitation.

He leaned forward, closing the gap between them and pressing his lips to hers. It was gentler than she would’ve expected from him and took her by complete surprise.

Y/N stood frozen in his grasp, her eyes wide open. Draco seemed to realize this and sprung away from her.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, I dunno what got into me, I guess I thought that you would’ve wanted...” He trailed off, shyly meeting her gaze.

“It’s okay, really,” she said. “I just wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t think you thought of me like that.”

Draco swallowed, once, twice. “I really don’t have to, either. I can leave you alone if you’d like.”

“I wouldn’t like that.” Y/N shifted her weight back and forth, fiddling with the ends of her sleeves. “We can...try again? If you’d like, of course.”

He looked like he was about to take her up on the offer, but at the last second, he stopped.

“I’m sorry.It just feels wrong to do it here.”

Y/N tried to conceal how much the rejection stung, but the blush was obvious on her skin. “That’s o-okay. Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna go find Snape. You go get another cloak.”

Y/N couldn’t sleep.

It was just like that first night, but this time, it wasn’t the time difference keeping her awake.

Her reason was stupid; she knew it was. She had just met Draco and it was unfair for her to have already given his expectations and a role to fill...and incredibly unreasonable. Completely irrational. She might as well call up St. Mungo’s and request a psychiatric evaluation.

MIllicent was kind, but Y/N knew her well enough to know that she’d keep her word about throwing her into the lake. If she kept sighing and rolling around, she would be in for a treat.

Her body was still sore from the short meeting it had with the ground earlier that day as she eased herself out of the bed and made her way towards the common room. Out of habit, she snatched her cloak, only to realize that it was still Draco’s.

Shit.

The blade in her chest only twisted further at the thought of him.

Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it.

In any other case, Y/N would’ve draped the cloak over her shoulders, but she didn’t want to be reminded anymore of him than she had to be. She didn’t understand why he had suddenly decided to pull away--it wasn’t like anything really changed. Maybe she had had bad breath? Maybe her lips were too chapped?

It was pathetic, really, getting her heart broken within the first three weeks of school. She’d never even though of herself as a romantic, either--but Draco’s face could easily convert anyone to believe hopelessly in love.

Once again, she ascended the stairs into the common room, relishing in the quiet and calm it brought. But wait--she saw movement in the corner of her eye.

Turning, she saw Draco laying on the same couch as last time, staring straight at her.

“Hey,” she whispered. “Sorry to disturb you.”

“Is that my cloak?”

Of course the first thing he had to say to her was a conviction.

“Uh, yeah. Here, you can have it.”

Y/N began striding towards him, holding her arms out to offer the cloak. Surprisingly, he shook his head, retracting his hands.

“No. You look cold.”

Y/N allowed a comeback to die on her tongue, instead awkwardly standing there.

“Well, aren’t you going to sit down with me already?” He settled back into the couch, nodding towards the vacant spot next to him.

Against her better judgment, Y/N sat down beside him, tucking her legs up under her body. She shivered as the cool dungeon air wafted past her.

“I knew you were cold,” he mumbled, taking his cloak from her hands and draping it over both of them. “Isn’t that better?”

“You sound like my parents.”

He allowed a small smile to creep across his face as they sat together in silence, leaning closer into her. Their shoulders brushed, and Y/N realized that she could feel heat radiating off of him.

“You’re very warm.”

“You’re very cold.”

Y/N shifted further away from him as the awkwardness maxxed out.

“Hey, so about today...can we talk about what happened between us? I mean, when you kissed me and then changed your mind?” Y/N’s voice crackled out. She didn’t trust herself to speak at a volume louder than a whisper.

“So about that,” he murmured back. “I never changed my mind. It just didn’t feel right at the moment, not because of you, but because of the situation.”

“Oh.”

“So...er..” he leaned towards her, cupping her face with his hand. It was warm and surprisingly soft, and his eyes nearly glowed in the dark when she looked into them. “Do you still want to try again?”

Y/N didn’t need words to answer that, only actions.

final a/n: so basically the tea is that i SUCK ass at writing actually fluff scenes when it comes down to kissing like i don’t know what’s too much and what’s too little and what’s too cringy so i just avoid it oops. hope you enjoyed. if you want to collab where i write the tension and the build up and you write the fluff please let me know because that would make my life so much easier omfg

#draco #draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco imagine #draco x oc #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x oc #draco malfoy x y/n #slytherin #ilvermorny #hogwarts #harry potter imagine #reader insert

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ghouls-dream · 5 years

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Hopefully you are still taking requests, I've been too scared to send one in. I'm sorry if this is a bit vague. I love your work💞 Can I request a smutty imagine where y/n teases dewdrop by flirting with the other ghouls just to see how angry she can get him and she ends up in deep trouble with him?

Hello, sweetheart! Firstly - thank you so much for the kind words! And secondly - im so glad you got the "courage" to ask, haha. Filth is on the way! I hope you like it 🖤

Jealous Dew x Reader one-shot (WARNING!!! HELLA NSFW, 18+)

Dew's POV

"Oh, darn it!" Rain scoffed as he saw how one of his striped balls hit the corner of the pocket, but not getting in. "Hell yeah!" I jumped happily, going near the pool table and looking at the balls' position. We loved playing pool, especially after big rituals like tonight's. That was like a routine for us. Well the ghouls mostly - The ghoulettes had their own way of relaxing, and Cardinal always prefered binge-watching "Friends" instead of having fun with us. Sometimes it fel like he was Nihil's lost son - I can't say Copia was boring, but he was quite introverted at times.

"Don't get too upset, Rain. Maybe Mr. "Pay back time" will fail. You have luck you're not playing with me" Aether teased me as I smirked, pointing with the pool stick at him "I can take all of you!". "Everyone knows that, slut!" Swiss called out from the back as he drank his beer. I rolled my eyes, due to their laughter, and tried to ignore it. After that I bent over the table, position myself to hit the white ball in front of me when I heard the door opening... Just before I was about to hit it, my eyes focused on a very particular feminine figure... Y/N. What the fuck was she doing here?!

Y/N POV

It was the night after a ritual, which automatically meant no sleeping for any of us! Well, at least Papa's witches. Why? Because our rooms were one wall apart from the Ghoul's playroom. All of us hated that - including Cumuls and Cirrus, who prefered a ladies night with us and the Sisters of sin. The Ghouls were just too loud. Especially when there was alcohol in the whole picture and tonight... Tonight there was a lot!

I looked around the sleeping girls, tossing myself again and sighed. I couldn't fall asleep, Swiss' voice was keeping me awake as well Dew's loud banging on the pool table, so I just decided to get up, put on my black lacy dress and go see what the boys were doing. Maybe even asking them to keep it a little bit more quiet. Some of us had a morning praise at 5am! And besides... I wouldn't mind seeing them. Since all of us were friends and there was no "I'm superior" barreier between us.

I walked out of the room, feeling how the slight wind was touching my skin as I grabbed the playroom's lock. Before I pushed it, I heard Swiss' voice calling someone "slut". My mind automatically connected that with Dewdrop as I smirked and let my filthy thoughts invade my brain.

As I entered the room, all of the boys turned to me. They looked shocked. Especially Rain who I could tell even felt emberassed by my look. The lacy black dress was thin enough to cover my whole body, but it was also a little bit transparent. "Weren't you supposed to be sleeping?" Mountain asked, before taking a sip from his drink and then offering me some. I refused of course and responded sarcastically "Well we all were, but some smartass decided to put your playroom next to our bedroom. Do the math". "I told you guys" Aether pointed out as I felt Dew's eyes scanning every bit of my body. He was in the middle of a shot I can tell, by his position, but he obviously gave up doing it. He stood up, leaning against the stick and growled "So what? It's not like you listen to it every night". I chuckled at his response and sat next to Swiss, who was half-laying on the red couch next to the pool table. His hand was put on the backrest as he looked over me and raised an eyebrow "So noise brings you here? It's not something or someone else?" I heard the boys' "oohs" as I smirked at him, bitting my lip and shrugged. "You never know" - I said seductively before turning my head towards Dew. His eyes were burning with... Anger? Also I wouldn’t want to be the stick he was holding. The ghoul's grip around it was almost enough to break it in half. I could tell my his knuckles, turning white. 'Or maybe I'd like to be' my mind whispered to myself. "Won't you finish the shot?" I asked, raising my eyebrow as Aether laughed "Yeah, man. I'm getting sleepy". Dewdrop rolled his eyes, positioning himself again. His swift body movements were enchanting.

Finally the white ball hit the red one in front of it, but no luck. "Ooh, so close dude!" Mountain pointed out as Dew sighed. 'Do it! Come on!' my mind encoureged me to do the thing I've been thinking about since the moment I entered the room. I knew that it wouldn't end well, one way or another, but I couldn't care less at this point. I got up from my seat, looking at Rain who was obviously confused on how to move on with the position of the balls on the table. Before becoming part of the Church actually, I really enjoyed gaming nights with my friends - doesnt matter what type of game we'd play. I always enjoyed them. "Need help?" I smirked at the Water ghoul who shurgged his arms and gave me the stick. "That's not by the rules!" Dew's voice filled the room. I could feel he was getting angry. I raised my eyebrow and asked seductivly, before taking Rain's stick - "And since when do YOU play by the rules?". After those words I heard another set of "oohs" before, bending over in front of Rain. I could deffinitely tell he wasn't feeling the most comfortable in that position, since my butt was touching his front, for which I felt kinda bad, but I was enjoying every bit of it since Dewdrop's anger was growing. "Have you been working out lately?" Swiss joked as I turned to him chuckling and winked back at him, answering his joke with my own "Wanna find out?".

We actually stayed in the room for almost another hour of jokes and laughter, before Aether got in charge and as being the most responisble one of the group asked us all to go to bed. I wouldn't have refused anyway, I was tired. "Yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow" I whispered yawning, as we all started walking out of the room, before feeling someone's hand gripping my waist and preventing me from escaping. I quickly turned around before hearing the door closing behind me, as Dew stared into my eyes. " 'Wanna find out!?' Seriously!?" he hissed against my lips before crushing his onto mine. His fingers found their way into my hair as he gripped it, which caused my head to tilt back slightly, exposing my neck to him. "Are you jealous?" I teased. "Am I jealous?! I'm fucking furious, Y/N! Do you not remember the time backstage? Or the 'please don't tell Imperator about this' situation in her office?! I'm gonna make you pay, girly!" Dewdrop whispered against my ear as I felt my kneese getting weaker, with every touch he made over my body. Next to the other ghouls, he was indeed shorter, but I wasn't them. Dew was almost a head above me. His teeth found his way to my most senstive part on my neck and bit it gently, before sucking it harder. I gasped by his action, before whimpering "Fuck yes...". He wasn't even trying to be gentle at this point and every part of my body loved that! His fingers made their way to my lady parts, feeling the wetness over them as he whispered "So you'd let Swiss try this out, but not me? Wrong...". After those words I felt how his index entered me, followed by his middle finger. I didn't even have time to react i just grabbed his shoulders and moaned, as he moved them faster and faster. "Did you like bending over Rain?" he groaned against my neck, before sucking on the same spot as before. This time i felt a small wave of pain, which made me whimper. "Answer me! Did.. You... Like it?!" Dew's voice was filled with sexual rage. "Yes!" I cried out as I opened my eyes and saw him smirking, before saying "Let's see how you'd like this then". His fingers quickly escaped my body as I sealed my lips with his own, as I felt himleading me towards the pool table. His tongue was fighting for dominance in my mouth and I gladly gave him what it wanted.

After that breathtaking kiss Dew spun me around, so I was in the same position as with Rain. My heart was going to explode in my chest, my pulse was pumping so hard I felt like fainting from all the adrenaline. Before I could make up my mind I heard a belt, being unbuckled, and soon after that a firm smack on my bare butt. Dew came once again next to my ear and whispered "I'll make you regret every single thing you did that night". After those words I felt a sweet pain rushing through my body, causing me to moan loudly. He made a few thrust inside as i grabbed the wooden side of the pool table. His hand found its way in my hair once again, before gripping it tightly and pulling my body next to his. "Dew..." I moaned louder as his other hand grabbed my neck and squeezed it gently. "Yes, Y/N?" he whispered breathless into my ear, before bitting my neck again. His movements were becoming even faster as I felt that the end of both of us was close. "Tell me how much you love this... Say it!" his voice filled the room as I shouted, panting "I love it how you fuck me! Dew... Im... Please...". Few more thrust were made into me, as I felt the pleasure building inside my lower stomach. Dew then kissed my lips roughly before bitting the lower one and whispered "Come... Now!". I was more than happy to release the pleasurable tension inside me as my voice filled the room. His grip also let go of me as I heard my name escaping his mouth before feeling one final thrust. After that there was just mine and his unstable, deep breathing... Nothing more, nothing less. We were both a sweaty, aroused mess at this point and it never felt better!

Soon after I was able to come back to reality I felt his lips brushing against my bare shoulder. This time it was tender, gentle and sensual. It had nothing to do with what just happened. "Y/N... Stop driving me crazy like this. Not that I don't like it, but... I was about to beat the shit out of both Rain and Swiss" he whispered as I chuckled and turned my head to him, kissing him gently, before whispering back "My dorky firecracker..."

#the nameless ghouls #aether #dewdrop #ghost bc #nameless ghouls #rain #ghost #swiss #the band ghost #ghouls #mountain #ghoul #one shot #one-shot #smut #dewdrop ghoul

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kingvenevong-blog · 5 years

Text

Official sleep study for narcolepsy

this is probably a horrible way to introduce myself lol but I decided to start blogging about it lmao.

Anyways, after finally getting free community health insurance, my family was finally able to afford for me to go to the primary doctor for serious issues (i don’t work :/ ) which at first was awkward and a bit frustrating but she actually took me seriously and referred for my insurance to a pulmonary sleep doctor for sleep apnea and narcolepsy. Honestly, if I wasn’t fat she wouldn’t have bothered to measure my neck and care about sleep apnea, even if it was on the checklist they have you fill out. (Basically, if your neck is over 6 inches in circumference then you are most likely to have sleep apnea or if you weigh a lot) It was only an awkward visit because she speaks into her phone so it writes into the computer, and i tried talking about depression and she just points out a lot of image issues i had. Which is embarassing but I understand why. It was weird when she said “patient seems happy and easy going” like wow ok do i have to seem sad? cuz i can? its just its common courtesy and good manners whipped into me by my parents to seem polite and pleasant.

So I finally get my first sleep appointment and it was an awful experience because of how i sleep lol. So at first, i tried to recline the bed extremely high at the top because i like to keep my head elevated or else i get an extremely bad headache. Next, i tried putting a pillow under my knees for proper position so i have a good sleep during the study as you need 5 hours. Well that epically failed because the pillow was so airy and puffy i couldn’t sleep comfortably lol. So the whole night i just kept changing positions as i always do but more than usual because i was not comfy. i eventually just got rid of that posture pillow idea lol and when i reclined the bed with the pillow under me there was no more room at the bottom lmao i was like bruh wtf this is difficult. So my sleep tech kept coming in my room at night because my finger sensor kept coming off, as i like to sleep with my arm under the pillow or against my face lol. And it was awful everytime she came in because of the blaring light from the main room. It hurt so bad lol, gave me a bad headache, had my eyes flashing and burning, all because this damn finger sensor wouldn’t stay on and work. It was also extremely hard to sleep with all the wires because the wires are short so you can only sleep on one side of the bed although it is a full-size bed. or else the wire or pad would come off. a few times a night she had to reapply some pads cuz they wouldn’t stick on my skin and kept falling off probably because i was moving too much. then in the morning my mom picks me up and gets me donut from the old bakery we used to own so that was nice and i got some apple juice (i love apple juice) and then after that i slept a lot more at home because i’m a piece of shit lmao.

So a few months after that i get a follow up appointment and they showed me my brain scans and breathing and everything they conducted. it was hilarious because it showed that i kept moving and kept sleeping on and off constantly. But it also made so much sense because i did feel it and was fascinating to actually see when i was awake and wasn’t becuase its so hard to telll when i’m sleeping or awake at night and i constantly get up to go to the bathroom so everything is a horrible haze. The doc then said around 5am my body finally just gave up and went into rem sleep which makes sense cuz thats when i usually feel a deep sleep before i get wide awake for a few hours.

So in this picture is my second sleep study. The first one was to test for sleep apnea, which oddly luckily i don’t have? even though sometimes i wake up choking in my sleep and gasping for air. In my 2nd sleep study its all the same wires but somewhat felt more for some reason. and i did sleep good. 6 hours actually. way better than last time. of course its still on and off but i slept decent. and my sleep tech actually visited me more often than last time cuz the pads kept coming off and i stayed way more still and closer this time. i mean my finger sensor didn’t come off cuz she told me where its supposed to be and tied something around it lmao. next morning the AM sleep tech said she used a whole tub of paste cuz it kept coming off lmaoooo. we don’t know why but it was porbably because it was sticking to my heair instead but i think its cuz i was sweating so much. they even turn the fan on. which was soooo nice. i wish that happened everynight. where i get too hot and want a fan on lol. anyways narcolepsy sleep studies go over into the next day. my pm sleep tech said i would leave around 3 or 4pm. how it works is that they make you sleep 20 mins for every 2 hours. They check how fast you fall asleep. So i did just that and i kept dozing off the first 2 hours, and finally slept so fast for the 20 mins and woke up on time when he went to wake me up lol. then i had to wait the other 2 hours but i kept dozing off. eventually an hour in my sleep tech said that the doctor had enough data for me to leave. which was awesome because idk how longer i could do that i felt horrible haha. then had my mom pick me up and she got us some dutch but i barely drank mine to let it cool down and she just threw all of it away :(

so now i am waiting for my final results and i hope to finally get treatment for narcolepsy lol.

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brittney-brutal · 4 years

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God this is ridiculous.

It’s 5am and I’m awake bc I have to adult and go to work. It’s fine it’s fine I have tomorrow off it’s fine. I’m going to crash today so hard.

Update:

I got to work and ITS COVID TESTING DAY AGAIN. But hey it’s a mouth test so SHOVE IT DOWN MY THROAT and get it over with.

It’s Monday but it’s my Friday bc I’m off tomorrow so I just have to get through this day. I’m off the walls rn bc I’m running on SIX HOURS OF SLEEP. And for SOME REASON that works for me.

I came in this morning and my friend noticed that my leg was bouncing like a pogo stick and she’s like to are you okay and I said yeah haha living the DREAM. So she comes up to my floor and she’s like okay legit you’re not okay what’s up. So I’m just like yeah I’m just anxious about this test and whatever so I CAN STILL LIE GUYS.

Anyway, since no one asked I’m going to start doing this :

HERES THE SONG OF THE DAY GUYS

It’s a great body of Can’t Let You Go by Fabolous, so.... here it is.

#Spotify

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one-more-for-the-sky · 6 years

Text

[01/08/2018-Mon]

it's day 7, i skipped meds over the weekend due to erratic sleep schedule. i didn't want to take medicine meant to keep me awake at 4PM or 12PM, when i have work on monday. mom if you read this, this is 100% the reason for the delay. i cannot have another sleepless week like last week. it was terrible. my mood wasn't bad, but i wasn't productive at all. i still felt the effects of the medicine even through the weekend. i'm noticing the my appetite is decreased even without the suppressant (or it could be i just didn't fee like eating Hispanic food (two senorita's is good just not in the mood), i didn't eat the whole chicken chimichonga i ordered, but i did finish it later (and my sister's chicken quesadia) later after the star wars movie. i noticed that was also very withdrawn during the meal. i don't know why. i'm going through a lot more withdrawn-ness (or dissociation), but this time its that my brain is supplying no thoughts or random activity that i've known it to have. i'm actually struggling with it right now, but as i don't need to talk to someone it's easier to go through. it's weird. i do this without the drugs but now there's no distracting activity and its just numb feeling. kind of like my brain is high but my body is not, so i don't get any fun out of it. haha it can make me really dizzy and emotional in an a way i can't express. the effects of the medicine weren't felt on sunday though. I was a little moody, i could tell towards the beginning, where i just wanted to relax and play video games. didn't want to be asked to do shit and wasn't really feeling motivated to do anything. mom needed us to clean/made dinner, so that was done. not the happiest of all campers about it, and in hindsight that's silly of me. always feel that way after being moody abt being asked to clean. i suppose it comes from the fact that i never leave my room to make a mess of the house (i forgot how to use the tv remote bc i dont watch tv...) i wish i was more helpful like sabrina. i dont know how she stays motivated to clean. wish she would channel that into her school work. i bet she wishes the same thing. savannah's moody as ever, though she was peppier with the promise of the movie she wanted to see with mom, though it started to get too late for them to see it. next weekend, i will try to make sure that there is time. maybe mom and her can go see it together just her and her, special. or something. either way.

i really regret waking up at 4pm on saturday though, but i seriously needed the sleep. i stayed up til 4 or 5am to let everything run its course and play video games, and slept til 3 or 4pm. we went out as a family though and saw star wars, which was wonderful. I know there's a lot of discourse out there about how poe was acting and treated, and i have to say, i didn't really like how that purple haired lady treated poe, but that's the only thing i think i didn't like. that and the slapping. (though he did look used to it), purple haired lady was cool otherwise, she could handle a gun in a dress and you hardly see that of an older, well dressed lady in movies. and her sacrafice was the coolest thing i've seen in media in a lot fucking while. i can't even describe how perfect it was. she is beyond hero and legend. and the horse-dogs were really cool. i loved them really. the crystal dogs, (which i think are made of salt too? it's hard to say), were cute. I really hope the asian character lives, it would be more than a shame if she doesn't. i don't think it was actual pandering, but the plot where a woman tries to save a man from himself is overdone and i felt it was pretty boring in this movie with ben/kylo and rey. but i don't think it could've really happened any other way. it's just old and tiresome. though their fighting was cool. i feel like there should be more to that haker though. it's a shame about him, he turned out to be just another tool. i'm excited about that stable boy though. i saw how he used the force for that broom. he could be a jedi. i hope rey becomes the new teacher.

anyway, back on my medicine. coaxed mom into letting me letting me stay "meeting with mom", and took my meds, and im a little jittery, not going to lie.

WHICH REMINDS ME, sad stuff time, so TMI/NSFW, i masturbate a lot, especially before bed. i dont know, i just have high libido for an ace-spec person, i guess. but i do that before bed to get my energy down and clear my thoughts before bed (super helpful most times), and guess what?! i've noticed that i'm less "horny"! or at least, it doesn't feel as good to rub one out! i googled it and it is a side effect to some antidepressants. i'm not sure about the other meds, but i hope its not a lasting effect. i like masturbating. it feels good. i really really would be upset to lose one of the good things i enjoy when i'm off meds. seriously. im surprisingly put out about this.

#journal tag #tmi/nsfw #text

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floralseokjin · 7 years

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FIRST OF ALL ((VERY LOUD SQUEALING)) MY HEART IS SO HAPPY THIS IS SO MUCH FLUFF AND I LOVE IT IT'S SO CUTE AND I'LL GO READ IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL I CALM DOWN ENOUGH TO COME AND TALK ABOUT IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON BUT YOU BROUGHT PABO JIN I'M LIVING HE'S SO SILLY IRL TOO ISN'T HE AAAHHHHHH I'M GOING BACK

hii, it’s the FULL CAPS anon who spammed earlier and I’m sorry about that, I was just really rEaLLy excited! I want you to know that it’s like almost 5am here and I love your work so much so I decided to stay up!! And of course, as always, you didn’t disappoint. I loved the chapter- i legit cried at the end of ch5 so when Jin said “I just see you” my heart was about to burst. I love how you brought Sejun back and i kinda expected him to make Jin really upset but did n o t expect such a darling++++ugh why is there a limit here?! Anyway, you even brought out the side of Jin that calls himself a pabo because he really is that silly and foolish sometimes but it’s adorable because he’s a pure soul- WHICH I GET THAT HE IS NOT, at least here. You’ve put some major flaws in his character yet I love him anyway?? Because he owns up to it and wants to be better!! Jin has clearly grown and is not the same guy he was in the beginning- and you cemented the fact that there’s always more than meets++++meets the eye, and the world is quite complex and we’re just looking for love- and our own insecurities always get in between all that. I was so happy to see Jin finally be vulnerable in front of oc and that just felt like a whole other turning point- where if they get caught before they tell kyuho, he won’t chicken out and act like an idiot again, but would confess and stand by the oc. The smut felt so intimate this time ahh you’re a great storyteller, & I’m so pumped for whatever comes next!

(and i’m going to guess this one is you too)

I’m sorry for leaving such a long ass message, ik it probably feels like spam but I really wanted you to know that I appreciate and love your work so much, so I decided I’d message you anyway :) ah Jordan you’re such a sweetheart honestly you updated a whole hour before, but ITS 5AM AND IM STILL AWAKE LOL P.s. are you on ao3?

OH PLEASE !!! i LOVE messages like these !! this has to be the most in depth message i’ve ever gotten and i’m so thankful :’) i’m so glad you’re enjoying the story (but girlll, get some sleep next time haha) i love reading flawed characters in fics because of course, no one is perfect, and i think the most important thing in life is learning to grow. jin in the fic hasn’t had a proper girlfriend before so i guess he sort of grew a fear to the idea and acted stupidly thinking he was saving the oc from future hurt, but of course, he just hurt himself and the oc in the process haha!! thank you so much for reading and sending this lovely message :’) (although the story isn’t over and i think he has some more growing to do! and i also wanted to make the smut a bit more intimate because it was under different circumstances this time, i’m so glad i pulled it off, yay!)

oooh! and i am on ao3 under floralseokjin but i haven’t posted on there yet...and i don’t know if i will!! maybe!!

#fic:off limits #message #anon

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sadwriterperson · 6 years

Text

November 14th, 2017

Just gonna throw out there that this is really long, so read on if you've got like 10 minutes to spare.

Alright, hello again, I'm writing this real early because I can't sleep. I work a lot of 3rd shift at my job, which is fine until I can't sleep when it's dark out, haha. Im starting this at 10 after 5am and I've checked all my social media, checked all the mindless games I keep on my phone for no reason, and now I'm here, still wide awake and bored as hell, and I could use this time to catch up on the nearly 12000 words I'm behind in for NaNoWriMo, only I'm so incredibly unmotivated that I thought, why not finally get around to writing about Tristan Haynes, my main character, and some overall backstory to how this novel came to fruition. There are a lot of ins and outs to this, a lot of pieces of my life weaved into this, so I'll try to make that all make sense.

So, Tristan, my good human, I hurt him more than I should, but, I'm hurting all of them more than I should. The character of Tristan goes way back into my past, starting when I was 6 years old. Growing up and even in my more recent years I would have these dreams that when I woke up I swore they were real, and a few I've had have actually happened, more than I'd like to admit. Some aren't as big, but, they still get kinda weird, an example of this is when I was in grade 8, just shy of 14, I had this dream that my best friend would buy this necklace, she was the definition of the goth kinda person, and it fit her, the setting was in our English class, the first class we would share that day, 3rd hour, so around the 10:30ish time frame and it didn't happen right away, it took a few weeks, but, she came to school wearing the necklace I had the dream of. That's just one instance in a long life of thousands of dreams, but, they still happen like this. So Tristan, he came way before that, and in this dream, I'm trying to find this white house over the hill, and I keep walking, the sidewalk is endless, and the grass on the side of me, my left side rises into a wall, a stone wall and then without explanation I turn around and there is Trit. That's what I called him, Trit, and I don't know who he is, why he existed, but, he was standing on the lower side of the stone wall, the grass was fake, turf, is what my brain supplied to me mid dream and under the corner of this turf, Trit points down and I follow his lead pulling out a red notebook, it wasn't an important notebook, just a regular red notebook, like you can buy anywhere for 94 cents at Wal-Mart. He smiled at me and even tho he was standing right in front of me, he sounded miles away and it was like the breeze was talking to me and I heard "you found it, you found it" I followed it, Trit at my side, following the breeze I would find the white house in the middle of a field of long grass swaying peacefully in the wind, Trit runs ahead and I follow him into it and then wake up.

Trit became this beacon, I've never forgotten that feeling of peace, and Ive carried Trit in my head for years, using pieces of that dream in countless stories I've written, but, I've never been able to describe it as well as my dream showed me. It will truly always be one of those things that unless you're in my head you will never be able to experience who Tristan is to me, but, I'm Trying.

So fast forward, people come and go, die, grow apart, and without going into to much detail because it's a time in my life I don't care much to talk about, i believed I was the reason someone died, and it genuinley broke my will to live, and I took that out on myself, Lord did I, and then after carving words into my legs and some other good depression stuff I adopted the phrase "My decision for living isn't mine to decide" a lyric from the song "Hole in the ground" by Twenty One Pilots, the band that's saved my life countless times, with lyrics I relate to on a molecular level, and decided that I was going to write. I had to live with my decision, i needed to learn to live with my guilt, and over the period of a year I got better, but, at times it would break me over again and while it's better now, it's still kinda raw. Anyway, so I decided I was going to write this story - Only the long grass remembers - and it was no debate who would be the star of this story. Deciding Tristan was my main character was the easiest part of the entire process, and I wrote the first chapter in 15 minutes, and thus the second character of the novel was born. Parker Middleton was born, and he plays an important roll in the novel that is important to many and I hope will be responded well too when someone finally reads this thing, but, that won't be until I'm at least 30000 words deep probably.

After writing the first chapter, and deciding that Trit couldn't just stay as Trit, i knew I needed to get a real name for him, and all of me couldn't bear to part with the name of him so I knew it needed to be as close to Trit as I could get it and that's how he got Tristan. Well, sorta.

HERE COMES MORE BACKSTORY

So August of 2015 I started watching the CW show: Supernatural. Binge watched it hardcore and later on would do roleplay as the characters on Facebook with a bunch of people and we were all super tight knit, not only because we bonded over the show, but, because most if not all of us were and are dealing with mental illness or some other physical ailment and we all used the RP and the community to keep each other alive . On top of that, there were the actors if the show, Jared Padalecki one of the main stars of the show suffers from mental illness, and so the actors all bonded together to make campaigns for people suffering, and they are along the lines of 'always keep fighting' and 'you are not alone,' and so it felt important to me to tie in these people with these great causes to this story that I'm writing for the same reason, you know? Its because of this mindset that I decided Trit would become Tristan. So Jared Padalecki, he plays Sam on supernatural, and he is who Trit is physically paired with for the novel, and it was in this I decided Trit would have a twin brother - Ross.. Trit didnt have family in the dream, but, it felt wrong to me to not include Ross, because Ross is based after Jared Padalecki's co-star Jensen Ackles. It would be wrong because they're currently on their 13th season of Supernatural, and a commonly used phrase is 'Family doesn't end in blood' and after 13 years, Jared and Jensen truly do see each other as brothers, and I wanted to incorporate that into the story, and wanted to link them both together in a binding way, and it worked out really well, all things considered. Their middle names are what binds them from my from the real world, to my mind to the page, respectively:

Jared TRISTAN Padalecki

Jensen ROSS Ackles.

Is this all making sense? Its a lot, or it feels like a lot at least to me, but it's 6:02am now.. So that may be something to do with it too.

I should probably try and sleep again, so I think I'll end this here, but, I hope that it makes sense why Tristan is so important to me, because he's been with me for 15 years.

Not only just Tristan, but, the dream is why the novel is called "The Long Grass Remembers"

It's all connected, and its important that I keep it as true as possible, to do justice for me, for the people I've met online, for friends lost, for the actors who gave them a name, for the musicians who helped me through for the musicians who breathe life into this story every single time I write, the people in my life who have shout outs, for the people in my life for as much as they may make me angry, ground me, for who they are, are motivation for me to be a better person then I was the day before, the story is for me, and no one else. To many times have I stopped writing out of fear that the people I know won't like it, because I'm revealing to much of myself. It's why I stuck in the horror genre for years, horror was easy to write, but, this, this is for me, and I am revealing all of it, and I'm ready, Trit at my side once more, only this time, he won't just stay in my head, now everyone gets to know him, and my heart is warm.

Thank you for sticking through this long winded, rambling, less than stellar wording from Bry, have a beautiful day or night.

Stay tuned, stay hyped and most of all, stay alive!

-- Bry

#nanowrimo 2017 #nanowrimo #nano 2017 #writing #the long grass remembers #tristan haynes #parker middleton #ross haynes #depressive #dreams #rambling #why am i awake right now #stay tuned #stay hyped #stay alive #stay hydrated #day 14 #Im dying lollll #been listening to g eazy while wtiting this

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