#its so annoying to find the original story that im just posting it here for future reference

[r1ant]

Killswitch

In the spring 1989 the Karvina Corporation released a curious game, whose dissemination among American students that fall was swift and furious, though its popularity was ultimately short-lived.

The game was "Killswitch".

On the surface it was a variant on the mystery or horror survival game, a precursor to the Myst and Silent Hill franchises. The narrative showed the complexity for which Karvina was known, though the graphics were monochrome, vague grey and white shapes against a black background. Slow MIDI versions of Czech folksongs play throughout. Players could choose between two avatars: an invisible demon named Ghast or a visible human woman, Porto. Playing as Ghast was considerably more difficult due to his total invisibility, and players were highly liable to restart the game as Porto after the first level, in which it was impossible to gauge jumps or aim. However, Ghast was clearly the more powerful character he had fire-breath and a coal-steam attack, but as it was above the skill level of most players to keep track of where a fire-breathing, poison-dispensing invisible imp was on their screens once the fire and steam had run out, Porto became more or less the default.

Porto’s singular ability was seemingly random growth– she expanded and contracted in size throughout the game. A Kansas engineering grad claimed to have figured out the pattern involved, but for reasons which will become obvious, his work was lost. Porto awakens in the dark with wounds in her elbows, confused. Seeking a way out, she ascends through the levels of a coal mine in which it is slowly revealed she was once an employee, investigating its collapse and beset on all sides by demons similar to Ghast, as well as dead foremen, coal-golems, and demonic inspectors from the Sovatik corporation, whose boxy bodies were clothed in red, the only color in the game. The environment, though primitive, becomes genuinely uncanny as play progresses. There are no bosses in any real sense– Porto must simply move physically through tunnels to reach subsequent levels while her size varies wildly through inter-level spaces.

The story that emerges through Porto’s discovery of magnetic tapes, files, mutilated factory workers who were once her friends, and deciphering an impressively complex code inscribed on a series of iron axes players must collect (This portion of the game was almost laughably complex,and defeated many players until Porto881 posted the cipher to a Columbia BBS. Attempts to contact this player have been unsuccessful, and the username is no longer in use on any known service.) is that the foremen, under pressure to increase coal production, began to falsify reports of malfunctions and worker malfeasance in order to excuse low output, which incited a Sovatik inspection.

Officials were dispatched, one for each miner, and an extraordinary story of torture unfolds, with fuzzy and indistinct graphics of red-coated men standing over workers, inserting small knives into their joints whenever production slowed. (Admittedly, this is not a very subtle critique of Soviet-era industrial tactics, and as the town of Karvina itself was devastated by the departure of the coal industry, more than one thesis has interpreted Killswitch as a political screed.)After solving the axe-code, Porto finds and assembles a tape recorder, on which a male voice tells her that the fires of the earth had risen up in their defense and flowed into the hearts of the decrepit, pre-evolution equipment they used and wakened them to avenge the workers. It is generally assumed that the fires of the earth are demons like Ghast, coal fumes and gassy bodies inhabiting the old machines.

The machines themselves are so big that the graphics elect to only show two or three gear-teeth or a conveyor belt rather than the entire apparatus. The machines drove the inspectors mad, and they disappeared into caverns with their knives (only to emerge to plague Porto, of course). The workers were often crushed and mangled in the onslaught of machines, who were neither graceful nor discriminating. Porto herself was knocked into a deep chasm by a grief-stricken engine, and her fluctuating size, if it is real and not imagined, is implied to be the result of poisonous fumes inhaled there.

What follows is the most cryptic and intuitive part of the game. There is no logical reason to proceed in the correct way, and again it was Porto881 who came to the rescue of the fledgling Killswitch community. In the chamber behind the tape recorder is a great furnace where coal was once rendered into coke. There are no clues as to what she is intended to do in this room. Players attempted nearly everything, from immolating herself to continuing to process coal as if the machines had never risen up.

Porto881 hit upon the solution, and posted it to the Columbia boards. If Porto ingests the raw coke, she will find her body under control, and can go on to fight her way out of the final levels of the mine, which are impassable in her giant state, clutching the tape containing this extraordinary story. However, as she crawls through the final tunnel to emerge above ground, the screen goes suddenly white. Killswitch, by design, deletes itself upon player completion of the game. It is not recoverable by any means, all trace of it is removed from the user’s computer. The game cannot be copied. For all intents and purposes it exists only for those playing it, and then ceases to be entirely.

One cannot replay it, unlocking further secrets or narrative pathways, one cannot allow another to play it, and perhaps most importantly, it is impossible to experience the game all the way to the end as both Porto and Ghast. Predictably, player outcry was enormous. Several routes to solve the problem were pursued, with no real efficacy. The first and most common was to simply buy more copies of the game, but Karvina Corp. released only 5,000 copies and refused to press further editions. The following is an excerpt from their May 1990 press release:

"Killswitch was designed to be a unique playing experience: like reality, it is unrepeatable, unretrievable,and illogical. One might even say ineffable. Death is final; death is complete. The fates of Porto and her beloved Ghast are as unknowable as our own. It is the desire of the KarvinaCorporation that this be so, and we ask our customers to respect that desire. Rest assured, Karvina will continue to provide the highest quality of games to the West, and that Killswitch is merely one among our many wonders."

This did not have the intended effect. The word beloved piqued the interest of committed, even obsessive players, as Ghast is not present in any portion of Porto’s narrative. A rush to find the remaining copies of the game ensued, with the intent of playing as Ghast and discovering the meaning of Karvina’s cryptic word. The most popular theory was that Ghast would at some point become the fumes inhaled by Porto, changing her size and beginning her adventure. Some thought this was wishful thinking, that if only Ghast’s early levels were passable one would somehow be able to play as both simultaneously. However, by this time no further copies appeared to be available in retail outlets. Players who had not yet completed the game attempted Ghast’s levels frequently, but the difficulty of actually playing this enigmatic avatar persisted, and no player has ever claimed to have finished the game as Ghast. One by one, the lure of Porto’s lost, unearthly world drew them back to her, and one by one, they were compelled towards the finality of the vast white screen. To find any copy usable today is an almost unfathomably rare occurance; a still shrink-wrapped copy was sold at auction in 2005 for $733,000 to Yamamoto Ryuichi of Tokyo.

It is entirely possible that Yamamoto’s has the last remaining copy of the game. Knowing this, Yakamoto had intended to open his play to all enthusiasts, filming and uploading his progress. However, to date, the only film which has surfaced is a one minute and forty five second clip of a haggard Yamamoto at his computer, the avatar selection screen is visible over his right shoulder.

Yamamoto is crying.

#killswitch game #killswitch #its so annoying to find the original story that im just posting it here for future reference

[pinnithin]

the "what would your tav's personal quest be called" post got me thinking about my tav who i havent talked about at all but im having a blast playing. this is my second playthrough (excluding the origin runs) so i get to be a little more intentional about choosing their backstory.

enter pyxis, sole caretaker of a small, relatively secret shrine to tiamat in baldur's gate. they're a 22 year old black dragonborn who received a decent formal foundation in cleric work in their youth, but the rest of their magical education as an adult was self-taught (multiclass shenanigans). the only cleric of their order, theyve built a reputation for themself as the annoying evangelist who's always finding ways to squeeze money out of a situation. generally disliked, both for the tiamat worship and their annoying personality, they have a bit of a persecution complex and are convinced they're really, genuinely a good guy when all evidence points to the contrary. they're also very stupid. more on this later.

cue mind flayer abduction and infection. pyxis suddenly finds themself stranded in the wilderness surrounded by people who have no idea who they are and don't automatically treat them with disdain. they can finally prove theyre they good guy they always say they are, and they make promise after promise to help those in need (and complain about all the effort for relatively no coin in private). they're... really bad at being a good guy. they say all the right things to authority figures and people in charge but are generally rude and overly self-important when interacting with the common man.

this includes the companions, whose personal struggles pyxis is largely unsympathetic toward because they're constantly playing the pain olympics. like, yes, hm, that all sounds very tragic. quite the sob story. have i mentioned im the last of my order? that im the only one who can carry the torch of tiamat in my city? we all have problems here. they're not particularly favorable with any of the companions because they have a talent for pissing people off but they're fascinated by wyll's good guy act and how its so much more effective than pyxis' good guy act. hey man how do people actually believe you when you say you're here to help them. teach me your ways.

anyway we finally get around to finding karlach and wyll isn't able to go through with it. that night after mizora visits the camp and punishes wyll, pyxis is in a noticeably sour mood when confronting him about it. how can you be associated with a devil, they demand, especially that devil. and they proceed to reveal that mizora is responsible for pyxis' entire order being wiped out, with the help of one of her warlocks, during a failed summoning ritual about seven years ago. pyxis was the only one left alive after the encounter and now considers maintaining and rebuilding tiamat worship in baldur's gate their sole calling. hence all the evangelizing and gold hoarding.

they conclude this story by warning wyll against working with mizora from the perspective of someone whos been personally wronged by her. when cautiously asked about the warlock's identity, pyxis responds, "i don't know. i never got a good look at him. he left the scene pretty quickly and i was more concerned with not bleeding out. i wonder where he is now, if he's even still alive." because, as stated above, they are very stupid. "anyway, if you need help getting out of your pact, i'll help, if only because she's due for some revenge."

and wyll, unable to say anything about the conditions of his pact, is just left standing there like, oh. oh no.

#yes im romancing wyll as a follower of tiamat its going spectacularly poorly #pyxis has NO IDEA #pin talks #bg3 #bg3 tav

[pixellangel]

storyteller synthesis inter-party dynamics!!!! WOOHOOOO

so. for those who don't know, im making a little cyberpunk rpg called storyteller synthesis!! ive already said a bit about the individual party members, but i haven’t really mentioned their interpersonal dynamics yet, so here's that post!!

masterpost with all other info is here :3

(from left to right, this is sylvie, v, xenon, and kori!!)

its a little long, so i put it under the cut!! :D

so sylvie is a pretty typical silent protagonist type. they want to be friends with everyone else in the party and have the usual rpg protag affinity for breaking random stuff. she thinks v is a little weird but they trust her, she appreciates xenon's rebelliousness, and she likes hanging out and being silly with kori :] there's really not much to her because she's supposed to be what is literally just a vessel for the player to experience the story, even in-universe

v has a real "i hate it here when can i go home" vibe tbh. she does not actively want to participate in the story, except to get it over with and get the original sylvie back instead of protagonist sylvie. she tries to stay somewhat detached. she misses original sylvie so hanging out with protag is kind of bittersweet for her, and she sometimes forgets its not the same person she knew as a kid. she likes that xenon is pretty quiet and thinks he's easy to hang out with. she only grabbed kori for the team because she was the fight club champion and that seemed useful, but she gets kind of annoyed with her general happy-go-lucky attitude. v is pretty edgy asdfdhgkljl

xenon is the mysterious coolguy of the group. talks the least out of everyone. he is very closed and defensive when sylvie and v first meet him, but he opens up little by little as they explain the situation to him. by the time they meet kori, they've opened up a lot more already. he likes talking to sylvie because she's what he views as "mysterious" and worth investigating, but he also respects her a lot as a person and wants to help her out. thinks v is kind of a weirdo?? but he also understands her feelings after she explains her situation. SUPER HIGH respect level for kori, weirdly enough. despite her general vibe of not caring and having fun, she's an excellent fighter so she deserves to be respected. unexpected joke buddy for her.

kori is so silly!!! she has trauma too but she ignores it and is silly instead!! usually the one to make jokes about the situations the party finds themselves in. enjoys saying BONK as she hits things with her hammer. very much a performer, in a way similar to a tv personality. she's the last party member so she unfortunately gets less screen time, but she's pretty talkative so that kind of makes up for it. thinks that fighting is the quickest way to prove someone's worth (wow, biased much?) but realizes there's other ways... eventually. enjoys hanging out with sylvie cause they can bounce jokes off them and get a response, unlike v. she still thinks its kinda funny to bother v, but knows when to stop. xenon is her joke buddy :3 they're friends :33

#pixell.rpg #storyteller synthesis #indie gamedev #gamedev #rpg maker #rpg #game design #game development #character design #original character #ocs #expect more writing and art to go with it very very soon >:3 #ALSO PLEASE ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM. I BEG #I WANT TO ANSWER #ITS SO FUN TO TALK ABOUT THEM #anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk #:3

[fish-at-fish-fish-resort]

holds out hands . may i hear your oc lore

since this is a sequel to this unanswered ask from my main

ill give you my agents (and 2 related ocs) bc giving you all the ocs in one post will be really hard i have SO MANY. too many. ANYWAY sillies under cut!!!

lets start with 3 because thats where the timeline starts

heres a p old timeline drawing thingy that still holds up i think

yeah just read through it. holds up. three is mostly the target of self projection lmao.

smore fun facts ab them:

they were team callie in the s1 final fest

they are wildly competitive

they sleep with an eyemask on bc the scrred eye glows in the dark (it bothers eight)

they value abilities over looks on gear so most their outfits are atrocious unless someone forces them to look good.

they can speak octarian

if they had a penny for every time they let an octarian who just got to inkopilis live with them theyd have two pennies. which isnt a lot but its weird it happened twice right?

which brings us to the next one which is actually an octoling oc i made back in like 2016??? def splatoon 1 era. shes been redesigned a bajillion times but the story is mostly the same. after the octavio fight she is also one of those octos who tried to get to inkopolis. this one was found by three who was like. i jave no idea what ur saying ur coming with the the old man totes knows octarian from his divorce. this n that and they teach eachother language and culture and its sweet and cool and they probabyl had some wlw stuff going on until 3 had a wholeass gender crisis

this is her btw. the drawing on the right is more up to date. im still thinking of renaming her. ill never find a name that fits. her original name was marianna but thats too close to marina!!!!!

shes also a fashion designer! she likes to use traditional octarian or military designs in her clothes. her pieces are not meant for turf wars though. shes still in close contact with three, and they hang out a lot. she wants to get three to ask the squid sisters if they could wear some of her clothes on a splatfest. three forgets.

next up!!!!! agent 4. i have two of those. they independently became agent 4 and then unrelatedly also became college roommates.

hash is more of a canon adjacent agent 4. poser, loser, really dramatic and really loud. kidna does whatever they want and also likes to leave graffitti on the kettles they clear. theyre also an only child. they also call marie mom jsut to annoy her. also their hairstyle is the bob in the front but the back is spiky/shaved. theyre a silly lil punk.

ikarus is a cynical asshole. and also a self centered poser whos set on looking cool for whoevers watching. he has 2 younger siblings and 1 older sister. hes from outside greater inkopolis, thinks hes better than the in city inkopolitans but behaves the exact same. he sucks i love him. he really looks up to n respects marie bc she reminds him of his elder sister. his fav brand is toni kensa

ikarus got the agent job first, n got rlly mad when they found out that theres another agent 4 bc he didnt show up enough nd marie just hired someone else. they share a uniform. they try to annoy eachother by puttinf the weirdest smelling stuff in the uniform b4 leaving it at the canyon. when talking ab em as agent 4 i like to use #4 for hash and n°4 for ikarus

the two also have a 3rd roommate

she doesnt have a name though. and if she does i forgot it :(

the three actually make a pretty good unit in their apartement. hash and ikarus only find out theyre both agent 4 when its time for the boss fight and both of them show up to get it done with. theyre both very competitive. they end up fighting over it and hash wins. ikarus is on the truck w sheldon and marie and is yelling insults at the battlefield until marie shuts him up so she can sing.

thw three roommates also always do salmon run shifts together. if they fuck up on a wave they always blame it on the one freelancer. yes they also kiss.

for eight i actually made this ref here recently!

theyve always been really fascinated with inklings and also were going to become an engineer before running off and landing in the metro.

they are very well spoken but also pretty shy. they try to make a good impression on people. finds it hard to trust others.

it took a while until he got used to sleeping in a bed. still sleeps with an eye open sometimes. its a habit.

theyre usualyl the one forcing three into at least okay looking clothes. oh also this tall loser likes to wear heels n platforms. hes literally taller than marina and still wears heels.

he actually started learning inklish back in octo valley from really outdated books. after coming to inkopolis hes been given a buncha annotated language books from marina (and from three, who still had the ones they used w the other octo girlie). but they still end up using some really old phrases and words that kinda leave some people perplexed.

oh also they're not THAT good at fighting (they were never a soldier) theyre smart and persistent though. still ended up severely in debt w pearl bc of the metro. pearl offered he can just work as stage crew for off the hook for a few tours or so and theyre good. he took the offer immediately bc bro barely got income to repay that all normally.

#whew that was barely organized but ummm yayyyy thats them!!!! #i have WAY more ocs but these are the agentssss #keep asks coming!!!!! #agent 4 #agent 3 #agent 8 #ikarus #hash #eight #three #splatoon agent ocs #splatoon agents #new squidbeak splatoon #splatoon oc #splatoon #fin scratching

[babygirltangerine]

I don't know, what exactly I hate about ladybug. I think it's the way he acts, and how everything always seems too go tight for him because he's the "funny American guy".

you're so right for that. like for real. but i also feel like things tend to go wrong for him, but they end up okay because he's the protagonist. and we're supposed to see him around these awesome badass characters and laugh because the contrast is so intense and he's clearly a bad choice of protag, and that's meant to be his charm (obviously a very bold choice). i do find it endearing a lot of the time, but it's definitely very important to question why he was made to be american and how his americanness affects the story, the way he interacts with the other characters and the environment. in a way i think his americanness is meant to add to his characterization as a very clueless person and as a protagonist that's out of his element in more ways than one. but at the same time it was a very tone deaf decision when the story and the characters are originally japanese. i don't think it was intentional, but regardless, making ladybug into a white american man who absentmindedly wreaks havoc on these other characters of color (and eventually multiple trains and an entire fucking town!!) and is one of the few survivors does seem to be uplifting american voices and perspectives and presences and you do have to look into the implications of that. so you're right to be annoyed with him!! this post hits on a lot of things that i'm talking about and that you seem to have picked up on, and i want to reiterate that you're incredibly valid for feeling that way, and you don't have to change your mind about it!

back to your initial fic-related question, i'm not sure if there are any fics that can change the way you feel, but a lot of people tend to write ladybug as a more fleshed out character who doesn't seem to begin and end with this clueless american ignorance. ladybug is interesting because i feel like he has a great basis to expand on in fanon, and in fics he can be silly and misguided and make the wrong moves with his heart in the right place, but i also see a lot of fics where he genuinely has grown a lot since the events of the movie and he's more emotionally intelligent after taking his therapy more seriously. those are the kinds of fics i like to see because i do feel that he doesn't really grow enough in the movie.

so he is more fleshed out in fanon, he's less caricature-ish and his americanness is less in your face. but that being said, its also important to acknowledge that as fanon (and tangybug fic in particular) tries to avoid characterizing ladybug as orientalist, it tends to do so by cutting out japanese characters and japanese culture entirely. movie ladybug can be read as this extremely american, sillygoofy white man who, even without meaning to, creates conflict along racial lines. and one of the reasons we don't tend to read him that way in tangybug fics is because his whiteness and his westernness become less of a source of contrast between him and the other characters, because tangybug fics are romance stories between a white american man and a white british man. i dont want to sound like im bashing the creators in this small fandom because i completely understand not wanting to write an orientalist character, and also because im so extremely grateful for everything these creators have poured their heart and energy into providing for us. we have amazing fan-created content here. and i'm one of the champions of the tangybug ship, but the content i've made for this fandom is not above critique either! these are just points that naturally arise in a fandom for a movie like bullet train.

tl/dr: you're right and you don't have to stop feeling that way! but you can enjoy ladybug/bullet train while criticizing it at the same time. in tangybug fics, these problems with ladybug's white americanness are often less pronounced, but the fandom is not above critique either. still, i hope you're able to find a balance somewhere between being aware of the flaws with ladybug/fanon/the movie in general and your enjoyment of these things!

#ladybug #thank you for this ask i bet you werent expecting something so long-winded... sorry!! #and if anyone agrees or disagrees with anything i say here please feel free to add to the conversation! #ask #meta #i guess its meta? #bullet train

[dandelion-wings]

How do Kaeya and Eula feel about each other in this situation?

Once again I cannot find the excellent post @theabysscomeshome wrote about Eula being jealous of Kaeya's childhood friendship with Jean and subsequent aid to her as her right hand, as she comes on the scene too late to form the same bonds*, and thus she is secretly jealous that this other Cryo-user has already filled the slot she wants as Jean's main Cryo assist and friend(-and-maybe-more?), while meanwhile Kaeya is eying her with a mix of, at first, wondering whether she's actually a danger to the Knights, and, later, considering her as Yet Another Backstop in the circumstance where he either betrays Mondstadt or turns into a monster or both.** But it is fairly key to a lot of my thinking about them in general, and also applies here!

*I have seen the exact reverse headcanons, where Jean and Kaeya weren't really friends pre-Knights and Eula and Jean were childhood friends, but these--Kaeya as childhood friend, Eula as only really getting to know her once in the Knights--are also mine and so that post works so well for me.

**Canon seems to be moving towards "he's chosen Mondstadt thrown off his original mission completely" but that's boring to me. Kaeya still feeling divided responsibilities and/or the weight of the curse hanging overh im, and thus being a potential danger to Mondstadt and afraid of it, has too much spice. >>

More specifically to this scenario, other background elements to the relationship include that Eula has a massive crush on Jean, and while she's holding back because Jean is in a relationship with Lisa already she can't resist the urge to impress Jean now and then. (If I was going to expand that bit, which I am not since it was just a can-I-do-this writing exercise, I would put a set-up scene in front of it that, along with anything else that needed set-up for the story, establish that dynamic, and then in edits make Eula look to Jean when she declares she's marrying him for the benefit of the workers, because she wants Jean's approval for that whether she'd admit it or not.) Which turns up the jealousy there!

Kaeya, meanwhile, has filed Eula pretty firmly in that "backstop" position, and has been entertaining himself with a combination of teasing/deliberately flustering her (c.f. the Secret Summer Paradise event) and keeping her somewhat at a distance, so that she won't be too emotionally compromised if he does ever need her to draw her blade on him. Or vice-versa, if it turns out he's read her entirely wrong and she's actually going to act on all her threats! Also, he enjoys the entertainment of her and Jean and Lisa all circling each other in the world's most awkward dance (for anyone but Lisa, whose circles he would rather liken to a shark's). This works fairly well for them as co-workers; he may annoy her sometimes, and she may dismiss him sometimes, but for the most part they can cooperate just fine under Jean's direction and for Jean's sake.

This does not work so well as spouses. Actually it might, if they could just agree to be married on paper and carried on as normal, but there are two problems: one, Diluc knows Kaeya misses the Winery and its people and sees involving him in its operations now that he has a share as a way to give that back to him without either of them losing face, and two, Eula really very genuinely has decided that she has a responsibility to their share of the Winery and the workers attached--by the contract, she owns that land equally--and is determined to show everyone what a Lawrence should be as a liege-lord. So they have to also work together on this!

(There's also the fringe benefit for Kaeya of: Eula is right about the Tunner situation. There are other things he knows she's right about, because he doesn't have the same level of from-birth enmeshment with the system as Diluc--even if he has his own blind spots from growing up with the same status--that he can't address with Diluc given the tension between them. He has more right to do so now, as he's re-involved in the Winery's operations, but there's the fear of starting a fight with Diluc, and if Eula's willing to rush him head-on in a way that doesn't implicate him, well... Kaeya would prefer having her cut the Gordion knot on these issues, and maybe a few others he's noted that she hasn't, if he can manipulate the situation to allow that.)

So they have to figure out how to work together, not as captains of separate companies, but as invested partners in the same business and employers and caretakers of the same people! My idea of the relationship arc here isn't a romantic one, but rather that wary distance that was their previous balance turning into a gradual liking for, and eventual friendship with, each other. While probably in the background Kaeya subtly assists Eula into Jean and Lisa's bed (and/or assists Lisa in arranging for her to fall into it). XD But at the start it's very awkward for them both, and they both have a lot of reservations about the other.

#asked and answered

[big-city-times]

due to popular demand (two people in the replies of this post) i will now complain about how agitating the penny the pony and the pirate is to me (coming out as a hater) [under the cut][not going to put a whole essay in the main tag without a cut]

prepare yourself [i am so sorry]

before diving deep into my "he would not fucking say that" syndrome, there are ?? a lot of things i like about this episode ??

positives

the biggest, and the one that makes me the most sad, is how much i love the b plot. partially because it feels ironic watching becky and violet try to rewatch the mid-summer special of pretty princess and trying to convince themselves that its not as bad as they had thought originally, as i desperately try to convince myself that this episode isn't as bad as i had thought, but also because its just so ??? funny ??

like. fucking watch this

that's ?? hilarious ??? and it's used in this episode ???

not to mention that violet is just so adorable and funny in this episode and i love myself some good violet characterization AND theres really goofy botsford moments !! like them bullying tangent for not being able to tell a good story. father daughter bonding /j

also, about tim specifically, i find myself saying "can you believe this guy!! hey buddy !! the doubloons exhibit was last week !!!" a lot strangely enough

there's also some really silly bits about tangent himself !! like i've really stuck with the idea of him LOVING hearing other people's stories, stealing only when he's low on cash, or having a mom who's an artist

like !!! those are super cute and fun !!!!!!!! hearing about villains daily live's is one of my favorite parts of this show !! they're just presented in a way that doesn't sit right in my head !!

nice and goofy animations as well :]

negatives

yk. this is a rant. it's not really intended to be about the positive stuff so

cutting straight to the chase, i know exactly what the main reason is. it's the voice actor change im not gonna lie

for a minute, imagine, a character with a higher-pitched voice that you like, say, spongebob

then imagine them with a voice that is an octave deeper than their usual voice

isn't that weird and disorienting ??? like it just doesn't feel like them anymore ??

as violet says in this episode itself, that's. not their real voice, not to you at least

in this case, not only is his voice deeper, but its brash and gruff rather than his usual young, kind sounding voice, with a obvious (and often broken) fake accent. he sounds more like an adult and it BOTHERS me

its giving the minor change in chuck's voice in a world without wordgirl. while still the same person, a minor shift in his speech patterns makes him far less likeable

obviously this is no hate to brian stack (his va for this episode), he did a very good job on the actual acting, the voice just doesn't feel right for the character :]

there's also something that feels off about the way a lot of his lines are presented, not in voice, but more in the style of writing

in the previous two episodes, despite being absent minded and annoying to those around him, he's very selfless and kind, (caring about the safety of scoops and the dogs, leaving people alone if they reject him, noticing that scoops is upset [though he does interpret it wrong], ext.) but, here, it feels more like he's less distracted by his thoughts, and more self-focused. for example, regardless that he did enjoy tim's history lesson on the bumblebee penny, he immediately turns and begins to tell his own story, which just feels ??? way out of character ??

less negative, but he feels wayyy less focused here, and begins and ends stories very often, feeling less like they're tangents, and more like really brief, mildly annoying tidbits about himself ?? lmfao

it feels almost like they tried too hard on the tangents and ended up staying way too close to the topic. we are no longer going from pirates favorite wood to ballet slippers and that makes me very sad :[

i guess theres just something very offputting about how pirate-y he feels. he doesn't feel like some dork in a costume, and that's what i feel his character is supposed to be like !! he's not really a pirate !! he doesn't have a ship !! he rides around in a wagon !!! a flying wagon !!

conclusion :

as i said earlier, i keep coming back to this episode hoping that i'll like it better, but i never do.

who are you !!!!!! idk what villain that is !!! this episode has so much potential !! the crime is so goofy !! he's just written in a very strange way !!!

bonus bit - why is it so funny to me that his arm literally makes a clanking noise when he touches it. look at this stupid little twig arm. there is no way youve ever been to the gym youre lying

#sorry this ep just really bugs me cause its one of the three episodes he gets in the whole series and i am just never able to enjoy it :[ #wordgirl #i will get back to normal posting soon #captain tangent #the penny the pony and the pirate

[ray-the-fanatic]

seeing leosagi trend on twitter makes me so happy though at the same time i kinda avoid it cuz a majority of it is yu/ichi usagi that's with leo and i don't wanna ruin the fun of the people who enjoy the samurai rabbit show, i tried getting into the show a month ago but it just... did not catch my eye the same way rise did

maybe it's cuz the show's not technically about the og usagi or the fact that i struggle to care about cast and story itself cuz it feels... boring to me? idk, it's just hard for me to get into shipping rise leo with yu/ichi when i'm not really interested in the character or show (yu/ichi i mean), esp when i'm more attached to everyone's version of rise usagi

sorry if this seems a bit ranty ^^;;;

Okay  1. I was answering another ask when I saw this and deiced nope I need to answer this! 2.no so yes let us talk about this because i see you I feel you and get what you mean as well.3. Sorry this is gonna be a lil long.

Okay so I recalled when they originally announced doing the samurai rabbit show and I was excited cause Usagi content. Forgot about it till finally getting back into tmnt after being convinced to finally watch rise cause o didn't when it originally aired. Which sent me down a rabbit hole obsession on usagi in time for the Samurai Rabbit show coming out. And to make this easier when I say Usagi I’ll be talking about Usagi Miyamoto and Yu/ichi for Usagi Yu/ichi yes I know they have the same first name that's the point it’s just for clarification here.

Now I do not mind the show it’s fine for what it is and I think Yu/ichi is cute and interesting but I have a love hate thing for the show. I spoke to a mutual on tiktok about this and I know I made a post on my thoughts about the show. I like the concept of Usagi descendant  Yu/ichi trying to become a samurai in a future time period when Samurai aren’t around, because he idolizes Usagi. Only to find out Usagi is a bad guy so he tries to clear their name. Despite that set up its not really what we get and Yui/chi didn’t really clear their name im still annoyed about that. I do still enjoy Yu/ichi mostly the design I even drew some inspiration from it for my own rise usagi because I liked the bangs. And I do find he and rise leo could be fun buuuuuuuut He is not the Usagi I want.

See as I have gotten more into Usagi’s own series I have just really come to love the character even more and love the idea of him in rise compared to a cross over with samurai rabbit. I just love the idea of the conflict in personality I just want him to be a grounded samurai who is emotionally in touch. Like especially with Leo going into his role as a leader I just love the idea of that being when he meets Usagi because of how special that friendship is in the 03 series. Besides I enjoy the Lore of Usagi Yojimbo and would love tidbits of it in rise uwu

Well I will still share and enjoy ship art of both cause i’m greedy and like Leosagi I do agree with people that the two should have different ships names. I saw seabunny mention for rise leo and yu/ichi and thats cute. But yeah well the sudden boom on twitter been nice to see and I have a friend who prefers that version simply cause yu/ichi is cannon over a rise usagi is. Thats fine though I also feel there another reason for the push on yui/chi i’m just being skeptical though so i wont say that in this. I just personally perfect Usagi myself over yui/chi. Again theres nothing wrong with him it’s just well I feel hes getting more praise than what is earned really. Based off the show am I a fan of it? eh I like it i don't know if its something i’ll re-watch I wish the writing was better I kind wanna do a fix it fic for it but that's a lot of work compared to one shots lol

TL;DR: Well I dont mind yu/ichi as a charater when it comes to the leosagi thing esp for Rise I’m in the side of Usagi Miyamoto over Usagi Yui/chi. And feel they should have different ship names also 03/2012 usagi > over any other usagi uwu

#ask box #also this is a safe space ranting is tots allowed #just no hate allowed here

[emetkoto]

idk man I just really like your style of rambling about them ig? like I find peoples' enthusiasm for things very sweet and infectious sometimes and your emetkoto posts defs hit that spot for me? like your joy and love for them seeps through and infects me too it's great. emetkoto good. anyway tell us about after vauthry. do it. give us the deets.

well thank you very much, it makes me happy to hear that ive had that effect on you 🥺🥺🥺 thats exactly what i hope to do with my posts about them but i do have bad demon brain so sometimes im like hmm. 'am i just being unbearably annoying instead actually???' and ofc sometimes its 'oh this is not original at all nobody wants to read this' so its always nice to have a little reassurance like this ghsljgsfd….

cracks my fingers so hard they all break anyway now for that essay you asked for

RIGHT SO LIKE right before vauthry, literally the night before that fight is when emet selch takes k'oto to the tempest to marry him and seubsequently erase his memory of it to "keep things fair" or whatever (basically he still had tiny little pangs of doubt about how things would turn out bc of yknow the whole being tempered for 12k+ years situation and he wanted to make sure that if it like. came to them having to fight. k'oto wouldnt hesitate bc he had smth like that holding him back :,) little did he know that he tried to hesitate in the end anyway and was only stopped from sparing him by ardbert) but thats a whole like other thing i still have to finish writing the worlds longest stupidest hardest to read post about so im physically restraining myself from going on about this anymore right this moment as much as i want to repeat myself forever about it bc GOD. God. god.

but anyway he was full of love and hope for k'oto, so much hope that he would be able to hold the light and prove mankinds worth so he could lay his mission to rest and stay by his side (and undo the spell holding his memories of the wedding) he was so SO ready for it and then. it just. all came crashing down :,) he'd allowed himself to let his guard down and put his duty aside and have hope in humanity again one last time and fall in love and k'oto just couldnt do it! even with his subtle help holding the light back he couldnt handle it, he was still too weak at 7 rejoinings and that shit hurted bad!!! he succumbed to the tempering and grief and rage and disappointment and closed himself off again…from there its probably the more canon adjacent bit of their story, graha tia acting embarassment, back to the tempest (altho k'oto doesnt remember having been there once before AUGH), amaurot, dying gasp :,)

throughout it all k'oto is trying desperately to get him to listen to him again but emet selch keeps cutting him off and ignoring him which hurts A LOT and ofc he says some. mean things to try and get him to just leave it be and accept what has to be done and stop talking about it bc HE didnt wanna think about it anymore EITHER obviously here but k'oto doesnt give up he keeps trying all the way to the very end….he never planned to kill emet selch, he just wanted to weaken him enough that he would take a moment to stop and think and listen , a last ditch effort to fix things but ardbert (and everyone else really) saw that it was like. too late for that. there was no way in hell emet selch was hearing reason anymore and if k'oto let him live there was a pretty high chance he would just kill him when he tried to get close to him so he took control of his body and made sure that axe killed, oops! way to kill a dudes soulmate and then be absorbed into his soul so you can never actually apologize for it…when the dust settled and k'oto realized what had happened he. was. A MESS!!

the only thing stopping him from breaking down right away was emet selch shushing him like 'let me enjoy this last moment with you in peace and quiet'……remember us and all that (although 'us' had a very obvious double meaning here

anyway tldr; WEHHHHHHH,,,,,,,

sorry for unreadability i very much wrote it exactly as it came out of my brain which is a long run on thought with no consideration for line or paragraph breaks. i tried to turn it into a few chunks for you

#words of mimi #emetkoto #shadowbringers spoilers

[kingofdarkness00]

I posted 12,002 times in 2022

That's 7,787 more posts than 2021!

26 posts created (0%)

11,976 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pinkdiapers

@reaperlight

@cher3pakha

@dykeboyking

@cielores

I tagged 1,077 of my posts in 2022

#delicious foods - 91 posts

#ns//fw - 91 posts

#plushies - 85 posts

#fanart - 48 posts

#delicious sweets - 45 posts

#eremin - 43 posts

#sam and dean - 30 posts

#9-1-1 - 30 posts

#sebaciel - 24 posts

#wincest - 23 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#i usually dont like at all it but if its incorporated into a dessert well then im okay with it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

With the stress brought on by the Noah's Ark Circus case, and the added stress of illness, Ciel's mental state begins to fall apart at the seams; revealing a side of himself that neither he nor Sebastian never knew existed.

Reblogs are dearly appreciated 💛

9 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#4

It's Ciel's seventh birthday.

Reblogs are dearly appreciated 💚

9 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#3

If anyone is looking for an editor for your fanfiction or original stories, I'm available for hire. I charge $20 dollars an hour, and all transactions will go through Cash App. Whether you have trouble with English, or just want someone to do the annoying part of writing for you (trust me, I know the feeling lol), I'm here to help.

I do have one condition: I won't edit anything that has non-con in it. I don't mind a bit of dub-con, but for personal reasons, I don't do the hardcore shit. Other than that, I'm game for anything.

I'm currently trying to create a steady income so I can afford to pay rent on an apartment for me and my best friend. We're both in our own shitty living situations at the moment, and we're desperately trying to find ways to earn enough cash to financially support ourselves in a place of our own.

So please, if anyone sees this and needs help, or knows someone who does, send me a massage. If neither of these apply to you, then please give this post an reblog. I'll take as many reblogs as I can get lol.

16 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#2

Attention Prodigal Son fandom: I’m going to start writing an essay soon on what the show means to me and why I believe it deserves a second chance, and I would love to have some of y’all’s own thoughts and feelings to add to it.

If you’re interested, please email me by Friday at [email protected] . In one or two paragraphs, tell me why the show means so much to you. I probably won’t be able to put everyone’s in, but I promise I’ll put as many of you as I can. Also, at the end of the email, please add whichever social media @ that you’re comfortable with so I can credit you.

If y’all could also RT this post, that would be awesome. Thank you. <3

I don’t know if this essay will do anything at all, but I can still try. I haven’t given up hope that we’ll get this amazing show back. I refuse to give up.

23 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It fucking baffles me how there are antis in the Rick and Morty fandom. Why tf are you even here?? Have you even seen the show??? It's not exactly a wholesome fucking watch. Rick is the farthest thing from a good person, and Morty ain't exactly a sweet angel boy, either. Rick has quite literally destroyed civilizations (including his own), and both these mfs have killed a shit ton of people and aliens (some who did shit all to deserve it), but you're mad that people irl ship them?? Just shut the fuck up.

Nobody in this show is what's considered a good person. Nobody. They either have toxic traits, or are just straight up toxic af. But that's the fucking point. This show isn't meant to be Steven fucking Universe, ffs. It's an Adult Swim cartoon that's about an old alcoholic asshole of a scientist and his horny naive 14 year old grandson who go on or get sucked into dangerous adventures every episode. So if you're gonna be that pressed about people shipping them, or literally any other characters together, then maybe you should stop watching the show entirely, since everything that's said and done is SO far from being the "uwu I love my family and feel nothing but wholesome love for them" good morals that you fantasize every show and movie catering to.

🖕🏼

24 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[muraenide]

☠♥♢⚜☀☢❀❥♒❣ drops these and rubs my hands like that one evil raccon gif, spill the tea <3

the salty af munday meme

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

Answered here!

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

Getting to know someone, who shall not be named, blocked me and my friends and then they make a post accusing us for numerous things that I didn’t even know we did, and then threatened all their mutuals that if they interacted with us they’d be blocked 😃 

It’s all because of a ship they didn’t like. It was also my second day on that blog and I’ve legit have no idea what’s going on. It originated from this other mutual who is also shipping that ship and generally follows everyone, so when people saw that ship they started the whole witch hunt. I was sleeping at that time and when I woke up the dash turned to hell. Had to ask my friend what’s going on and turned out it was because of that ship (IM me for details!)

Apparently the same person also made an excel with all our urls + other people we don’t know and shared it around so everyone can block us. I only found out about that excel (and the whole story) through another mutual only like 6 months later and by that time I don’t care much anymore. You can call me whatever <inserts problematic label> and I’d say OK, you are absolutely right, have a nice day! 

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

I don’t mind not practicing reblog karma as long as someone isn’t like, rbing 10 posts off my blog at once. But that’s different from feeling like you’re outright being used as a resource blog, which in case I would just sb. So far no one has rb anything much from me though, but that might be because I don’t rb much either 🙈 It also depends on the meme... When it’s just a headcanon/munday/opinion meme then there’s no reason not to send any. If it’s IC memes then it’s understandable that you might not find one of the options that is fitting for your muse and theirs, so its ok not to send any.

⚜ How many people do you not like?

A lot. 😭 And since I hold grudges I tend to remember them forever. I usually just avoid them though. If they’ve done something toxic or evil to other people then I’ll most likely have them blocked. But if I don’t like them for petty reasons that’s just a personal thing, I don’t block them, I simply don’t interact with them.

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

I’m running out of pet peeves that I’m willing to put on the dash 😂 Okay this only happened to me twice here, but I find it annoying when you put so much of effort into writing a long reply and your rp partner does not appreciate it. It makes me not want to write longer replies anymore and just half-assed something until we’ve established something more solid so we can be sure both sides are invested.

When you’ve been mutuals for a long time and there’s no signs of interest or interaction. I understand that people can be busy but neither of us are mind readers. An occasional like on posts or an ask or an ooc post to show that interest is still present is nice sometimes.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

The karma is a b1tch trend. I feel like this typically occurs with villain muses. Your muse did something bad in canon so you’re supposed to feel guilty to mine now and feel sorry and has to immediately redeem yourself! I think that’s not fair in rp, especially when we have plotted nothing, my muse hasn’t done anything to yours yet but your muse is demanding retribution without giving mine a chance or, like, ask the mun for an opinion?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

asjkdhas A lot of things. I feel like I can list them down forever. I don’t consider it losing my chill, but I can get carried away with topics I have a lot of opinions on, since I hardly write anything too personal on tumblr and/or anywhere else, so that’s not losing my chill but sometimes I forget that I’m talking to someone and keeps going on and on. I should fix that about myself 😭

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

>> ....... Yes. (IM for details). 

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?

Answered here!

❣ How salty are you feeling right now?

From a scale of 1 - 10, 5 😂 If I’m not tired than maybe 8.

#drama cw #// freya asking all the core questions asjdhas #long post cw #𖦹 ⋆꙳ ⁄ ooc.

[permanentclawgrip]

okay this was originally part of my roommate rant post but imma do it separately because its more of a critique of a mindset:

I do not understand rapid completionist collecting culture

i know what youre saying, "eve, what the fuck are you talking about that makes no sense" let me explain

theres probably a proper term for it but I've noticed a worrying trend specifically in online spaces recently of rapid completionist collecting culture. basically a subculture of wider collectors which focuses on the attainment of a "complete collection" as fast as possible and often with a disregard for the actual content of what they are collecting. i have seen posts about this in comic collecting forums. ive seen similar kinds of posts on video game forums. my experience with it has been through my roommate though, who i will kind of vaguepost about (nothing new for this blog tho).

My roommate, who we'll call Adam (not his real name) for the sake of brevity, has a real strange relationship with these cultures. I first noticed it soon after i moved in with him, when he decided to watch every publicly available tv show and movie that marvel has made,,, ever,,, including every ,,, single ,,, saturday ,,, morning ,,, cartoon. this small feat took months. all catalogued in a nice tidy spreadsheet noting the runtime of them, the episode count of the shows, which storylines were adapted (iirc), and his overall rating (again iirc). this was not a months long project because oh he only watched an episode or two a day, no not at all. i would leave for work with some x-men cartoon playing in our living room and come home to fantastic 4 playing instead. every day. hours upon hours. it was not a simple, "oh one day ill watch them all eventually". it was a dedicated marathon of back to back to back marvel. it honestly completely burnt me out on all things superhero just being in proximity to it.

so what is there to take from this? "let people like stuff!" "its just a show why are you so mad?" well its hard to put my finger on it to be honest without sounding pretentious or hyperbolic. ill try my best...

in just a second...

first lets get pretentious!

i personally find this style of engaging with content to be very shallow. ive always kind of had a bone to pick with background watching, having a show on while doing some other task, but this is different. while background watching is annoying imo, most of the time people are doing so with shows that are kind of built for that (think sitcoms or light dramas) where you can kind of tune in and tune out on a whim and the point is more on the other activity that the show is the background stimulation for (i.e. homework, sewing, cooking, hanging with friends, etc.). in short, when background watching, the point is not to really watch the show. so that should be the polar opposite to what my friend was doing, right? nope! all these stats and all this time, just to usually be playing destiny or scrolling through DiscussingFilms' twitter posts for most of it. this is a recipe for not really getting anything from these shows.

secondly, the binge model is kind of horrible for story engagement or thematic understanding. there are very few stories in long form media which adapt well to binging. it has been discussed before, so im not going to re-litigate those arguments here, but suffice to say that binging is bad actually. pair that with these shows mostly being background fodder and it just strikes me as profoundly pointless.

Maybe I just have different wants from my media than others, but i usually like my media to have a point beyond just "it looks cool" or "it belongs to an ip i like". spin offs dont really excite me unless theres a reason for it to exist beyond just "hey look at this cool side character! guess what? theyre a main character now!" yes a lot of good stuff has come from "spin off" series (look at puss in boots: the last wish as just one example), but their mere existence will never excite me. i prefer to really watch movies or tv shows that im interested in: dim the lights, grab some popcorn, and set aside time to really engross myself in every detail. its not for every show and it is a little time consuming, but the depth in every piece of art that you learn to see is so worth it. but maybe thats not everyone priority.

okay now lets get hyperbolic!

im not going to sugar coat this and itll sound weird, but i see a lot of similarities between this kind of hyper obsessive yet shallow fixation and some very very disgusting subcultures online. and i dont mean that because i dont understand them. i mean that because i am sadly referencing many of the boys and young men who fall down the alt-right pipeline through porn fixation. if you do not know what i am talking about, youll have to trust me on this because i do not think that anyone should look these things up on their own because good god every trigger warning possible applies if you look at some of these peoples accounts. they make my stomach churn and i am pretty resilient to things. basically for those who dont know, what im referring to is a subculture of predominantly young men who become obsessed with porn and porn stars to the point that it is all they can think about. if this is giving hints of incels, it should because the venn diagram is actually just a smaller circle within a larger circle. their obsession and incel nature leads them to the expected political and social beliefs: misogyny, transphobia, grooming, forced marriage, etc. truly some of the worst humans.

now is this a leap? admittedly yes. but i dont think the comparison isnt without merit. the initial actions are the same and both lead to heavy levels of social isolation. sure you have your in group that understands every reference you make, but beyond them, you become stunted. that social isolation is the most dangerous fuel for a man to have.

overall thesis

i could write at length about this topic (and who knows i might one day) but ill keep it brief for now. in short, this trend of hyper obsessive binging that ive seen is extremely confusing to me at best and potentially dangerous at worst. i wish i had a way to break people's habits with this kind of thing but sadly i do not know how.

[euargh]

I posted 576 times in 2022

That's 576 more posts than 2021!

157 posts created (27%)

419 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/ chuchuinwonderland

@/ veele70

@/ im-being-held-hostage

@/ firecooking

@/shinekittenace (SORRY, I'M REALLY SHY AND DON'T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY ANNOY ANYONE. -SOBS.-)

I tagged 555 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#lmao - 167 posts

#spamton - 166 posts

#deltarune - 54 posts

#same - 44 posts

#me - 40 posts

#blogging - 36 posts

#garfield - 35 posts

#vent - 28 posts

#mood - 24 posts

#idk - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#lmao no really he did literally wake up screaming and it freaked me out but he saw and experienced in his nightmare the hells i endured

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

had a rough past two three years, but I think I will try to maybe return back into the internet world and try to revive this account because I want to be part of a fandom and community again. I’ve become reclusive but the Spamton fandom makes me want to crawl out of hiding to join in. I have no idea who I am following or who is following me, sorry. but uh hi there. also I forgot how to use this place but I shall learn (I want to make my layout Spamton themed.)

edit: my carrd https://segstuff.carrd.co/ and discord info: https://euargh.tumblr.com/post/702133847753736192/heres-my-discord-superevilgenius5125-feel-free art tumblr: https://segdraws.tumblr.com/

8 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

#4

Sorry for not posting this earlier. I ended up having to simultaneously cook/clean for the entire day and then got angry at myself for not making this quick video sooner. I hate that my bank account only has four dollars in it. If I knew a Jevil plush was going to happen, I would have saved up for it like I did the Spamton plush. B’) Oh well.

10 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

#3

My dad: [unclear] called me a big shot! Here’s your package.

Me: WHAT THE MAIL PERSON GETS THE JOKE AND OPENLY SAID IT AFTER RECOGNIZING THE PACKAGE’s RETURN ADDRESS?!

Dad: no, I said your package called me a big shot.

Me: oh

I saved for months and had finally enough money just in time to order SPAMTON on its release day! HE IS HERE!

13 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#2

story time:

so today I woke up after hearing loud electrical buzzing outside. It was freaky and sounded like something getting electrocuted. Suddenly BOOM the power went out. I sat up. The power returned then flickered again before shutting off. Again it happened, then finally stayed off for a few hours. It made me finally realize how horrible it must have been when my family was without power for two weeks during the Texas shutdown back in February 2021. I wasn’t here when it happened but lmao I like thinking that because I am back and here to stay it won’t happen again. (LIKE, I’M GONE FOR SIX MONTHS AND EVERYTHING FALLS APART, GOES TO HELL, AND DIES. Typical. There were so many dead trees and things and everything was in ruins when I had returned and other bad things. Jeez, fml. but... I guess maybe that means I am actually important? idk I just try to find stupid little things to give me reason to continue living instead of the “end it” dark thoughts solution that creeps up on me.) Anyways back on topic. I was irritated at being in the dark but I remembered  my Garfield lamp and used it!

I currently obsess over Garfield, Spamton, and Inside Job. Secondary obsessions, Peeps chicks, Pokemon cards. It’s hard remaining interested in things so I force myself to obsess over things to “stay” and pretend there’s meaning. I was originally going to film something and shower today but it was dark and becoming cold in the house and I changed my mind. (58F and dropping. Currently it’s 45F down here.) Then the power finally returned, but then every single hour it would shut off again. I suppose it was due to the wind outside being cold and heavy. This tropical region can’t handle the cold. Anyways, I think the power is finally stable. dunno, just wanted to log down a diary entry. hi

16 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh man people keep thinking Jevil sold out faster than Spamton because he’s popular, (which yessss he’s awesome) but REALLY Fangamer stated themselves that it takes a couple months to make a bunch of plushes and most likely after the Spamton plush was released, there was a HUGE demand for Jevil plushes to which they went to work on that. (As in the Spamton plush was announced on 4/20, then it was released many months later in September! whereas the Jevil  plush only had a few months to be worked on (September to November) and they weren’t sure how good the sales would be and decided to test before creating a whole load of them like the Spamton plush, to which it was successful and now they will make a whole load of them. AND I TOO REALLY WANT ONE,

29 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Youtube

[mariuscomehome]

//minor spoilers for marius character story chapter 2!!! and luke's chapter 2 as well oops

i was going to reblog this onto the moron post i made in the early hours of this morning but it quickly grew way beyond my original intentions, so im annexing it. i promise there's a funny conclusion just give it a little time !! why are there so many words ;-;

that post came about because i was thinking about nxx group dynamics, particularly marius (BIG SURPRISE LOL) and how from what we know of him he doesnt seem to have many close friends. if any. his schedule is incredibly packed from school, running pax, nxx investigations, and his own art, and we know he isn't getting enough sleep, (yknow what zak made a great post analyzing the boys schedules here ya go) to the point that he considers giving up art to make time for his other responsibilities. there's no way he has a social life - i'm sure he did, but it would have been the first thing to go, to make room for everything else in his life. every mention of him attending a social event, iirc, has been directly related to some kind of business venture or obligation, unless he's hanging out with mc, who seems to be the only person he's able (or willing) to make that kind of time for.

which is something he has in common with luke, it seems. lol.

IM PUTTING IN A READMORE THIS POST IS TOO DANG LONG LOL

back to marius. i need to do some more research on the timeline, but my understanding is that he was studying overseas and got called back when giann went missing, one or two years ago? to run pax. (which is the official story, more likely to me is that it was completely voluntary as he wanted to look into his brother's disappearance - was he involved with the nxx before then? had he already met artem and vyn, or no? if anyone knows the answers to these questions please please tell me). so in all likelihood he's left his entire social circle in florence, come back to hang out in an office all day, and then go sit in a meeting with vyn, his tutor, and artem, who is eight years older than him. i'm sure normally they get along just fine, but when does marius get to be a kid? when does he mess around with people his own age? he doesnt.

enter mc, who is much closer to him in age, and who he doesn't hesitate to joke around with. she must be a huge relief to him. and he met her right before being accused of murder. can he not rest??

pivot. we're talking about luke now. it goes without saying that luke is, has been, and will be going through some pretty heavy shit, and mc is simultaneously a huge reprieve from that and a bludgeon that he uses to destroy himself emotionally at every single opportunity. the whiplash is insane he's like "haha this is great i'm in love with you and you are my best friend and i am going to die forever changing the trajectory of your life, hurting you and that's unforgivable and i should stay away from you but i can't because i'm a terrible selfish person- haha what's that? no i'm fine! how are you?" i hate him.

yeah so then it's like when does luke get a break? huh? we know he has aaron, who is really good for him and helping him work through his stuff, but his stuff is irreparably tied to his complex feelings about mc and his own mortality etc, etc, and also aaron is literally his doctor. every single one of their conversations is like "luke, try harder" "no. im gonna die soon." "you will with that attitude i will FIX YOU MYSELF, STOP BEING LIKE THIS." "..... still got that expiry date tho" like even the person who is arguably the best for luke's mental state, actually understands what is going on with him and is actively trying to help him at every opportunity to the point of literally robbing him and sending him on a.. scavenger hunt.... aaron what are you doing

luke literally cannot escape his issues. marius cannot escape his work. i think they should, (after spending enough time around each other to kind of figure each other out, become immune to the other's specific brand of annoying, stop being jealous at how effortlessly close the other is to mc- look it might take a little time) be friends, and find that kind of respite in each other, where their other obligations just aren't even relevant and they can just kind of let the facade fall away and do whatever. they're closer in age and they both need more time to be young and impulsive and have other people who they can do that with.

i think they should be stupid young men who do stupid things. they roughhouse. they both like... extreme sports? i think? they drink together. marius, who knows the perfect amount of wine to drink to get just tipsy enough at a work function. luke, who knows where to buy the best, cheapest beer. swapping beverages and immediately getting piss drunk and calling mc together to tell her that shes missing out, she should have come with them, boo, and its four in the morning and she only picks up because she woke up early to add six pages to a report thats due on artems desk at seven, and she still pretends to get annoyed at them but shes really just happy to see them getting along.

vyn, luke, and marius being left alone in the nxx meeting room for some reason. by the end of it, the table is broken clean in two. luke and marius both blame vyn, who asserts that he never touched that table, but doesn't directly disagree with them and offers to buy a new one. (HE'S SO OMINOUS....)

the new table has wheels so when marius and mc get to a meeting early, he tries to lean on it while he's flirting and ends up on his ass. he sprawls out on the floor and tries to keep going as though this was totally intentional (because mc is laughing and its worth it), but of course luke walks in and he gets soooo embarrassed.

let them be morons!!!

#i'm sobbing why is this post so long why did it have to get so sad to get to the point i was trying to make.. #tears of themis #marius von hagen #luke pearce #xia yan #lu jinghe #homepost #marius/luke #sure why not id be cool with that!!

[phoneybeatlemania]

hey bestie! if you're still doing the beatles asks: 6, 7, 8, and 11 (sorry if that's a lot lol)

I am still answering asks! I didn’t get many cause Im kind of irrelevant atm since I haven’t made much effort to be an actual part of the fandom since about November. But yeah, idk—if you want my take on things NOW IS THE TIME TO ASK since its Easter holidays and after this its going to be only revision until June and I will, once again, be back to Irrelevance :(

Re: Fun Beatles Asks

btw its 12:30am now so idk if my writing makes sense here, but ill edit tomorrow lol.

6. Share a spicy take.

Hmmmm….musically, Help! as an album is pretty meh. For a lot of people I think it marks the beginning of their descent into the Post-Rubber Soul period, and they Get The Hype. But idk man—I think theres plenty of bops, plenty of bangers, but all-in-all I cant really think of any tracks that Really Do It For Me, y’know?

[That really wasn’t that spicy, but when Im put on the spot and try to think of SPICY TAKES, my brain can only think of pretty lame ones that we all probably agree with tbh]

Also, I don’t wanna be annoying here, but as a fandom I don’t feel like we make much effort to point out that John and Mays relationship fundamentally was Fucked. Ill refrain from saying “we don’t talk about [XYZ] enough!!!” cause ik that’s annoying—but idk man, it took awhile for it to really occur to me that Actually No sleeping with your assistant is……not okay :/ Im not saying we have to #CancelJohnLennon for it, or even that the entire relationship was a bad thing (because despite it being about as complicated as any of Johns relationships, there clearly were a lot of positives within their relationship; and also, I wouldn’t want to wholly-vilify John whilst wholly-victimising May, because that would be reductive too, and May Pang obviously doesn't want that), I just feel like we should acknowledge it a little more, y’know? Just keep it in mind.

7. What is a Beatles-discourse topic that needs to die?

Im not sure if Im going to explain this particularly well, and I guess its not even really a “discourse topic”, its more-so just a facet to discourse—but I really think that responding to something with an [irrelevant] comparison needs to die. So like, if were critiquing John for something, then I *hate* seeing someone respond with “Okay but why don’t we talk about [insert something annoying about Paul]” (and vice-versa; it’s not just John fans who do this but Paul fans too ofc). Another example would be if we’re talking about Mimi, then bringing up Jim probably isn’t relevant. Its just an evasive technique, and I really don’t see what purpose it serves. They’re all separate people, so just judge and analyse them separately. If we don’t talk about XYZ enough then just………..go start the conversation, but do it in your own post. 

[Having said this, I recognise that on occasion good comparisons can be made to highlight double-standards or hypocrisy etc. But I just think 99.9% of the time people utilise comparative arguments to detract from an actual point, rather than making an effort to actually address it, and its just really…..boring and unnecessary.]

8. What do you think makes the Beatles fandom uniquely fun? 

I love this question!! :)

I feel like the Beatles fandom can be such a perfect combination of artistic appreciation, pop-culture analysis and psychoanalysis! When I talk to people irl, I always tell them that the Beatles are best heard in context, because theres just something so sad but beautiful about seeing their artistic progressions corresponding to their relationships. Like the whole stories there just within the songs, and idk man, I just think that’s beautiful. 

11. What is your favourite aspect of their artistry outside the songs themselves?

Im honestly *obsessed* with their fashion! Ive been trying to find some vintage 60’s clothes to resemble theirs (especially Georges and Glyn Johns in GB) because they’re just SO fun and original and I Love Them :))

#asks #pauls mccharmly #opinion #ask game #meta #tbh we kind of have to be talking in dm’s if you wanna hear my Actual Spicy stuff cause im just too much of a nervous person to get properl #controversial on here lol

[sineala]

A Few Thoughts About Hurt/Comfort

I have been asked this month to make a post about hurt/comfort in Avengers comics. And I love h/c -- I actually have a massive number of WIPs right now that are h/c -- so I am very happy to talk about it! Anyway, this is not really all that planned out and this mostly turned into an excursus on Tony Stark's pain. I'm sure you're all surprised.

Like pretty much everyone else, I'm sure, I have found that everything lately has been... pretty tough. And the coping mechanism that really got me through last year and this year was reading and writing a lot of h/c, on the theory that, however lousy a day I'm having, I can absolutely make sure that Tony Stark has a worse one. And then I can make sure he gets hugs. Wish fulfillment? Why, yes. (Once at Hallmark I was trying to find a "get well soon" card, forgot what it was called, and described it to my wife as "a hurt/comfort card.") I think Marvel Comics -- the Avengers side, in particular -- is an interesting canon for h/c for a lot of reasons. Though, honestly, if you asked me to recommend you, a hurt/comfort fan, a new fandom, I would probably just hand you some Starsky & Hutch DVDs. Go watch "The Fix" and get back to me later. If you like that, there's way more where that came from. But there's still lots to love in Marvel! Superhero comics are really a goldmine as far as the hurt side of h/c. Because superheroes, and you probably have noticed this, get hurt a lot. They get hurt repeatedly, in fantastical ways that are probably impossible in real life both physically and emotionally (at least, I don't think anyone's invented mind control yet), and even the heroes without superhuman healing powers tend to get physically hurt a whole lot worse than actual people can take. Currently in Iron Man comics, Tony has a broken back and is dealing with this by locking himself into the armor as a backboard and injecting himself with massive doses of painkillers. He's busy! He's got stuff to do! He doesn't have time to lie around and heal! So, basically, if you name a kind of pain that you would like to see happen to a character, it's probably happened to superheroes. Multiple times. The downside, though, is that comics do not really deliver that well when it comes to the comfort part of h/c. They could. It's not inherent to the medium that they don't. But because of the serial nature of comics and also the fact the primary audience is dudes who want to read about people in spandex punching each other, a lot of the time they don't really feel the need to provide closure and write about people dealing with any of the hurt. (Raise your hand if you're still annoyed with the end of Hickman's Avengers run.) But at the same time, I think that's a quality that makes Avengers ripe for h/c fanfic. Because, generally speaking, fandom likes to provide the things that canon doesn't, and fandom is more than happy to provide the comfort. If you enjoy canonical h/c in comics, I think you really can't go wrong with Iron Man. One of the big innovations of modern Marvel Comics was the concept that heroes would also suffer from relatable human problems, and in practice what this means is that a lot of heroes start with a fully-loaded angst-ridden backstory and origin story, ripe for h/c. So Tony starts out by incurring a heart injury that he fully expects is going to kill him, which he responds to by vowing he won't get close to anyone so they won't be sad when he dies, and throughout the early Silver Age is constantly on the brink of death as his heart nearly gives out on him practically every issue. And then even after his heart gets (mostly) better, there are various plots involving his armor being detrimental to his health and him choosing to fight on anyway. It's hard for me to think of another superhero hitting that particular variety of h/c in exactly the same way. Sure, superheroes risk their lives constantly, because this is how superhero comics work, but Tony is the only one I can think of who is this constantly this badly off, physically. Like, think of all the other heroes who have had a continual solo presence as fan favorites across Marvel history -- Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Wolverine, maybe even Deadpool. You know what those guys all have? Healing factors! For the most part, they are not running around continually on the verge of death, and while there are certainly memorable arcs involving several of them being severely injured and/or dead, you really have to work at it. It's not their constant state of affairs, whereas Tony is the kind of superhero who shows up to a fight already bleeding out under his armor. Yeah, I know Extremis gave him a healing factor. But he didn't have it very long, and also he did some extremely dangerous things while he did have it; I'm pretty sure I've never seen Wolverine saying that he'll just solve a problem by cutting off his own foot. So, anyway, yeah, there are a bunch of good arcs involving h/c for Tony. If you're looking for physical injury, he has a whole bunch of heart problems over the years, gets several new hearts, then ruins his brain, et cetera. That level of hurt is basically the background pain of Tony's life; every so often, his heart will get damaged or he'll have to live in the armor or the armor will be killing him, et cetera. If you're looking for more unusual trauma, I am, as always, going to rec Manhunt, a relatively obscure arc in late v3 (IM v3 #65-69) in which Tony has an extremely bad week. His tech is stolen and used to bomb a building. Then he gets shot in the chest. Then while he's at the hospital a nurse tries and fails to poison him, and she then tries to beat him to death. Then he checks himself out of the hospital and a helicopter shoots missiles at him. Then he becomes a fugitive from justice. And then, oh, yeah, he has to fight the Mandarin. It is... a lot. (Volume 3 of Iron Man is pretty good as far as h/c possibilities. You've got a lot of physical pain, Carol's drinking arc, the Sentient Armor, both DreamVision arcs, and Manhunt. Manhunt is finally supposed to be out in trade this month, by the way.) There are of course the drinking arcs, which probably count as their own type of hurt. But if you haven't read the second drinking arc (IM #160-200), please do. Marvel likes to up the stakes on events (Fear Itself, Secret Empire) by making Tony drink, and it does work, I think. I feel like I've spoken at length about Tony's drinking elsewhere so I don't really want to rehash it all here. And then there's the emotional pain. Angst and drama is something that happens to a whole bunch of characters, yes, especially in comics, but somehow Tony seems to end up with possibly more than his fair share of it. Fandom likes to make a lot of Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, so much so that you might think, if you didn't know canon, that this was just fandom running with a throwaway mention of Tony's terrible childhood and making it worse. But, no, canon really does go there with a reasonable amount of frequency. Howard's actual first appearance is in a flashback where he's ordering teenage Tony to break up with his girlfriend because she's the daughter of one of Howard's business rivals. And then we get into the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse, and the time Howard made Tony take his first drink, and the part where Howard was a demon in hell who Tony fought while he insulted him. And more! Currently, in canon, Howard is alive again and is in league with Mephisto for the express purpose of ruining Tony's life. Also when Tony was a baby, Howard tried to trade him to Dracula. I think you can make an argument that fandom is actually showing restraint when compared to canon. Tony also has a whole lot of Terrible Exes whose presence and/or former presence in Tony's life can be used for a lot of hurt. If you've read any amount of fanfic, you probably know that the exes who get the most play in fandom are Sunset Bain and Tiberius Stone -- not that Tony and Ty were ever canonically a couple, of course, but fandom is definitely enamored of this idea. Ty and Sunset both have relatively similar interactions with Tony in canon, in that they are both liars and emotional abusers, heavy on the gaslighting, with the purpose of becoming more successful than Tony. They both also attempt to murder Tony, although this is after he figures out they're evil, at least. (Yes, I know, this is not how either of them usually appear in AUs.) Tony also has a bunch of exes who also have just straight-up tried to murder or otherwise hurt him, sometimes while they are dating, and sometimes before Tony dates them: Whitney Frost, Indries Moomji, Kathy Dare, and Maya Hansen come to mind. There are probably more I'm not thinking of! But, yes, if you want to write about a guy in a series of terrible relationships, please consider Iron Man comics. If mind control is one of your favorite flavors of hurt, Tony's pretty good for that too. We all know about The Crossing. I suppose when I say "mind control" I mostly mean "armor control" because there are an awful lot of plots where someone else makes Tony's armor do whatever they want it to do and Tony is along for the ride -- Demon in a Bottle, Sentient Armor, and Execute Program are the first things that come to mind. There is also a fairly obscure What If that is What If Iron Man Lost The Armor Wars in which Justin Hammer apparently really wants Tony in a mind control collar to take off all his clothes and lounge around in his underwear. No, really. I think a lot of pain for Tony often revolves around his issues with control, generally -- his alcoholism comes into play here again. The entire aftermath of Civil War is also notable for its propensity to hurt Tony over and over and over. Is he stoically soldiering on through his grief after Steve dies? Hell, no! He cries, like, six separate times. He 100% blames himself for Steve's death. It's great. Everybody loves The Confession and the funeral in Fallen Son, but one of my personal favorites is Avengers/Invaders, in which Tony is confronted with a time-traveling Steve from WWII and in order not to screw up the timeline, he can't tell Steve he knows him. He is clearly not coping well. He shuts himself in a room with a giant wall of pictures of Steve! Also there's a part where he has to try to convince Steve he can trust him and he ends up having to tie Steve to a chair to talk to him, and Steve looks at him and asks, "Who did you kill to get where you are?" and I feel like that is probably one of the worst moments in Tony's life. No wonder he gave himself amnesia. So now we might want to ask, okay, but why is hurting Tony in fanfiction so much fun? I mean, I can tell you why I think it's fun. I can't speak for anyone else. One reason is that he is very emotional and very affected by everything he does. Sometimes you will see people complaining that the heroes of m/m fanfic cry too much and this is not realistic. This is not a problem if you're writing Tony! He can cry as much as you want and it's perfectly in character. I don't think it would be as fun to hurt him if he didn't express so much of his pain. But he does. He also feels guilty, and for me that's a very satisfying character element. If he were well-adjusted and didn't blame himself for so many things, it wouldn't be nearly as fun as watching him blame himself for everyone whose death he thinks he is responsible for, whether or not he is. And then he just keeps going, and it's, y'know, nice to watch him be resilient, too. So, I guess, I think hurting him is interesting because it's easy to hurt him, his weak points are pretty obvious, and he reacts a lot. Steve doesn't hurt quite as much as Tony does, in canon. It's certainly possible to hurt him -- I mean, they did actually kill him after Civil War, after all -- but I don't think the canonical patterns of hurting him are as numerous. Obviously deseruming Steve is a fairly popular go-to in terms of physical hurt; he's been deserumed at least three times that I know of. I think's easy to see the appeal there of taking a character who is fairly physically resilient and making him... much less so. Certainly Marvel seems to see the appeal. But other than that I don't think he has any other really common way to get physically injured. Unlike Tony, whose origin story is basically "oh no, I've acquired a disability," Steve's origin story is "I drank a serum that cured all my disabilities." Which, I mean, great wish fulfillment but there's not really as much there to poke at. Pretty much all of Steve's pain is emotional, but, unlike Tony, his pain isn't often specifically in response to someone directly, purposefully hurting him. Hickman's Avengers run is a big exception, yes. His pain seems to come up most often as a kind of situational angst. He feels like a man out of time. He feels out of touch with the modern era, with people his own age. He feels guilt because he feels responsible for Bucky's death. He feels like he can't trust the government and therefore he can't be Captain America. He worries that he doesn't know how to have a normal life. And, yes, these are deep and important worries but it's different than, like, Indries Moomji dumping Tony with the intent to make him sad enough to start drinking. Very few of Steve's villains want to personally ruin Steve's entire life the way Tony's villains do; mostly they just want to do things like bring back the Nazis. In terms of Steve's potential for h/c, I think Steve is harder to hurt than Tony is. Physically, he is definitely harder to hurt. You can deserum him, sure, but unless you want everything you write to be a deseruming fic you're probably not going to want to do that more than a couple of times. And if you want to hurt him physically while he has the serum, you have to hurt him hard. Usually past the point where a regular human would ever survive it. He's also harder to break, emotionally, than Tony is -- which means it's very satisfying when you can get him to break, but this is a guy who's only cried twice (that I remember) in canon. So if you want to get him to cry, you really, really have to wreck him, and he doesn't have as many obvious weak spots. He also doesn't generally sit around blaming himself for things that aren't his fault, and the whole "stewing in guilt" genre of plots for him basically came down to "he was sad that he thought Bucky's death was his fault," and that's really the biggest regret he seems to have, and also Bucky's not dead anymore. The Steve/Tony relationship itself, I would think, is also appealing to h/c fans because canon provides a lot of ways for them to hurt each other. Some people only ship pairings who would never, y'know, take turns beating each other half to death in major event comics. (And for a lot of Marvel Comics history, that was also Steve & Tony, so if you want them to be BFFs who have never fought, you can just set your fic earlier.) They have definitely hurt each other both physically and emotionally, so if you're looking for something easy and satisfying as a h/c fan, you can just read or write something where they... make up. What about Marvel characters other than Steve and Tony? Surely some of them are angsty, yes? Well, yes, but also it depends on the particular flavor of angst that you like. If you like the way Tony hurts, you may very well enjoy Doctor Strange comics, because they have a very similar attitude towards life -- they are both former alcoholics whose origin stories involve physical disabilities, who routinely make tactical decisions that negatively affect their continued existence and/or happiness a whole lot. It's very much an "I must suffer alone in the dark and no one will ever know what I am doing to save the world but it's the right thing to do" sort of vibe. Like, you can read comics where Strange is lying in hell with two broken legs, hallucinating that Clea has finally come to save him. Strange's biggest fear, akin to Tony's control issues, is basically that one day he's going to be an asshole again, so he's out there trying as hard as he can to do good. Also, if you like tentacles, he has all of them. I mean that. Carol also occasionally hits similar angst spots, and her drinking arc is great. A lot of people like Natasha, too; I have read zero Black Widow comics but I get the impression many people enjoy her brand of angst. The mutant metaphor is a little different in terms of overall vibe, but some people really like it as a source of angst -- the whole "protecting a world who hates and fears them" thing. It may not work for you, but if you like your hurt to include things like systemic oppression, go pick up some X-Men comics. Start with something like God Loves Man Kills. I feel like I liked this sort of thing a lot more as a teenager but that I kind of aged out of liking the mutants quite so much. It's also worth mentioning that not everything that hits the spot in one universe will be the same in the others, and I'm mentioning this because I feel like I have to say something about MCU Bucky. MCU fandom seems to get a lot of mileage out of Bucky's guilt about being the Winter Soldier, everything he was forced to do, et cetera. I have definitely read my share of those fics, and FATWS sure went right for that angst too. But as far as I can tell, he doesn't hit the same way at all in 616. And I like him a lot in 616; I'm always pleased when he shows up on a team. (He was so good in Strikeforce. Everyone was so good in Strikeforce.) But the thing is, 616 Bucky is, basically, phenomenally well-adjusted, given everything he's gone through, and I'm including the time he wrestled a bear in a gulag. He gets over having been the Winter Soldier, and now he's just, y'know, a guy with a cool arm who likes to bring guns to every fight to horrify his teammates, and he snarks at Clint. If you're looking for that angst, that is really not him these days. He's all better. So pretty much all that is canon. So what do we do in fandom for h/c? Well, as far as I can tell, a decent amount of it is canon-based or very canon-close -- there are a whole lot of stories exploring the angst of Civil War or Hickman's Avengers run. Tony's drinking comes up a fair amount, and if one of Tony's Evil Exes comes back to haunt him, it's pretty much only Tiberius Stone. I don't think I've read a lot of fic with Steve getting deserumed; it doesn't seem as popular in fandom as in canon. When Steve gets hurt, he tends to just get physically whumped pretty hard, and there's a fair amount of that for Tony too, but of course Steve can take more. There's also a thriving, uh, subgenre of pain involving Hydra Steve doing terrible things to Tony, presumably the terrible things he would have wanted to do to Tony in canon if Tony had had a flesh body. There's the usual kinds of h/c setups that appear in basically every fandom as well -- sickfic, whump, dub-con/non-con. You get the idea. But since fandom in general likes to take specific inspiration from canon, there's a lot of fic where the hurt tends to resemble things that happen more in canon. Like, I feel like comics fic probably has more tentacle fic and more mind control than canons that don't come pre-stocked with those. Probably everybody has a whole lot of "tied up by bad guys," though. And then, of course, fandom brings the comfort that canon does not. This is true in pretty much every fandom -- I mean, you aren't going to find a lot of actual canons where Character A saves Character B from mortal peril and then there's gay sex -- but, like I was saying, comics don't provide a lot of closure before it's onto the next thing. Usually with a different creative team, who has no interest in wrapping up anything from the last team. Steve and Tony talked about the incursions exactly once after Secret Wars and nobody mentioned the part where Steve spent several months trying to hunt Tony down and kill him. Tony is never going to remember the events of Civil War. Hydra Steve died ignominiously in a fire and no one has ever talked about him again. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to get some comfort in your fanfic, picking an event, any event, and just having the characters talk about it will be way more than any of them get in canon. I feel like honestly that can often be a pretty satisfying to read. And even though comics canon physically hurts characters pretty often and pretty badly, they also often skip right past the recovery. Maybe you'll get one page of a character in a hospital bed at the end of the story arc. Maybe you won't. Demon in a Bottle has one splash page of Tony going through alcohol withdrawal and then he's all better. I think Manhunt skips to Tony getting out of the hospital at the end. That's just not a story that they want to tell very often. The second drinking arc is notable in that it devotes almost as many issues to Tony's recovery as it does to getting him to rock-bottom. Similarly, Steve is done with his Nomad angst way way faster than you probably think he is (though The Captain does go in for a fair number of issues). So one of the things we often want to do in fandom is focus on all the bits that canon skips over, both in the "why did no one ever mention this story arc ever again" way and the "wow, so how long are they in the hospital after that" way. That's really all I can think of about h/c! I'm off to write some more of it!

#posts i actually wrote