#just a thousand commas

[justadumbasskid]

RimWorld Writing | Valley Station 1

She had been in here all day. Every day for the past four days, at least. Mei, the group’s resident combat Mechanitor, and a damn fine one at that. During the time of the First Factory, she had commanded two militors, two bellicors, one omicron, two knights, two centipede blasters, and a War Queen. All had eventually been scrapped to make way for their successors, or had been sold along with the First Factory, but still, an impressive resume. Now, in the time of Valley Station, she crouched low in front of a huge Archotech pylon. One of four towers on the North, East, South, and West surrounding a great Archotech structure in the middle. The cluster of Archotech artifacts emitted a constant psychic pulse that tugged on the seams of any psychically-tuned brain nearby. Volz was particularly sensitive to its influence, and suppressed a groan as a headache bloomed inside her skull.

“Mei,” Volz called from the sunlit slate doorway of their great temple, Mei was pulled from her musings and turned her eyes away from the glowing Archotech structure to her companion. Volz held a packaged survival meal in her hand and beckoned for Mei to take it. “You’ve been spending too much time here, Mei, even you need to eat sometime.”

Mei clutched at the plackart of her marine-issue power armor, and looked away, “I’m not hungry…” A common response from her, as she’s equipped with a miniturized nuclear reactor instead of a stomach. Volz shook a canteen in her other hand as a response.

“Water, then. I can hear your dehydration.” Volz’s lips crooked into what she hoped was a reassuring smile as she rolled her Archotech eyes playfully. With the popping crackle of stiff bones (they really needed to get bionic legs sometime) Mei stood, and gratefully accepted the offered water. She drank deeply, and summoned the courage to turn her attention away from their collective object of worship to speak to Volz.

“I just…does it not intrigue any of you? The mystery of its use to the Archotechs? How it relates to the great Archonexus? I can’t focus on anything else for long, I always find my mind wandering back to it. It calls to me. Please, tell me you’ve heard it!” Mei babbled just barely-coherently. She’s an intimidating figure with her power armor and Mechcommander helmet, but she appears weak as a kitten compared to the glorious Archotech artifact standing tall above her. Volz placed a reassuring hand onto Mei’s armored shoulder, hopefully calming the volatile mechanitor. 

“We’ve all heard it,” Volz assures, guiding Mei’s head so she can only focus on her pair of artificial eyes, “We didn’t build this temple around it to hide its influence from us, such a feat would be impossible, and pointless. We built this because it told us to, it commands our respect and attention. We built this temple to revere the glory of the Archonexus, and all this artifact represents.” 

“But..?” Mei whispered, guessing Volz’s next line of speech. Volz nodded.

“But, we’re of no use to the Archonexus when we’re starving, dehydrated, and dead. I’m not saying that there are more important things going on right now than our holy mission, but we need to focus on the basics regardless.” Volz pressed the crinkling paper packaged meal into Mei’s limp hands, forcing her to hold it, “Eat, drink, and sleep. The Archonexus favors us enough that it has provided these opportunities to us, we would be wise to make use of them while we can.” Mei looked down at the parcel in her hands before taking Volz into a hug. Her exoskeleton-enhanced strength threatens to crush Volz’s just under-enhanced body, but soon relents before breathing becomes difficult. She moves past Volz and out into the fleeting sunlight of dusk.

“Thank you, Volz. Perhaps the greatest boon the Archonexus gave unto us is your wisdom.” Mei tears into the package soon after, and leaves Volz alone in the temple. 

An aching throb in her skull pulls her attention back to the huge glowing greenish-yellow structure before her, and the intricate circuitboard-like patterns of pale yellow etched onto the sleek lime surface. Volz inches closer to the humming Archotech structure, and with her enhanced Archotech eyes, she imagines that she can almost see the individual packets of light traveling through the atto-thin wires.

Volz thinks to herself for a moment…her chores are done, she has eaten dinner, surely she can spare an hour or two of study before bed. 

So she travels past the Western Pylon, and takes a kneeling position above the Northern pylon. Pressing her organic hand against the lime structure, she begins to meditate. Opening her mind, and inviting Archotech wisdom to enter it.

------------------------------Buffer ---------------------------

A little writing based on the colony from this post, and all of my RimWorld posts before that one, relating to the current playthrough.

#rimworld #rimworld writing #tumblr writing #writing #ludgeon studios #volz is the wisest because she's also a psycaster #and our ideology is psychic-focused #as well as Archist #I will use #just a thousand commas #I pass the bechdel test

[vicsdeangelis]

How short are you

I'll go first I'm 5 feet 2 inches and so that you don't think I'm trash, I do use the metric system for most things just not for human height so 157.5 cm and also because cm is technically not SI unit, 1.575 m

i'm around 1.63. i refuse to use feet and inches, so y'all figure it out how tall that is

#fun fact. here we use commas to separate decimals instead of a period. so you just told me you're 1 thousand 5 hundred and 75 meters #ask #stem anon

[lieutenant-amuel]

I never thought punctuation would ever become one of the hardest English things to me.

#Personal #I’ve been reading some articles and you know everything is not so super hard #but when your native language has such cursed punctuation #simple things seem to be hard #Yeah it’s just me starting to translate the new chapter #and not wanting my friend to delete a thousand of unnecessary commas while proofreading like in the previous chapters #I swear I try 😭 #Akajjdkfk I remember when I just started writing in English I always placed commas according to Russian rules #I even added it after ‘I know’ ‘I think’ ‘I hope’ and some others #Lucky thing I realized it looked extremely ugly quite soon

[polaroidcats]

I spent the last few days co-writing an article about anti-trans violence & trans solidarity with my crush and their ex (lol, classic #queer culture moment) and now that we've submitted the article I feel like idk what to do with my time?? It's that lull after being stressed out where you don't really know what to do with yourself suddenly.

#i mean obviously I'll just read some more fanfic #but it seems weird not having to open the google doc to reply to thousands of comments debating where to put a comma or how to phrase sth #i really enjoyed the writing process #also #i'm kindof proud that something i co-wrote will be printed in an actual newspaper #like i know that happens all the time to lots of people #but it's the first time something i wrote is published in a print medium #so it's kindof a big deal to me #ramblings #ANYWAYS OFF TO AO3 my beloved I GO

[werehamburglar]

can't believe mom of the year bridget von brandt named her daughter annabelle "worm" morgenstern after a piano playing robot with a pinocchio complex that she thought was neat

#worm morgenstern #in my head bridget has just been kinda. neutral #can't really come see her kids due to things outside her control. still lives within driving distance out in heaven's hollow. #probably not super opposed to leonard getting remarried. cares about worm getting her homework and practice time done. doesn't have custody #shit like that #and there's obviously the aspect of playing worm and knowing how she feels about what's going on #namely a lot of confusion at WHY her mom isn't there and why mary seems to be replacing her and like a thousand other things #mostly she just misses her mom. she gets to see her every two weeks and hasn't seen her in a WHILE ( #(neither has evan) #so it's complicated and serious but also apparently really fucking funny #like. idk. worm put a dead lizard in mary's desk. her mom named her after a robot. darryl mooned a stranger who ran over the town's sign. #worm is pen pals with a weird janitor from across the country simply because she Won't Stop Writing Letters #she's a weird kid and her mom is probably just as weird #who the fuck knows!! we haven't even GOTTEN to df #df2 i mean. hit a comma by accident. im very nauseous and very wiped despite my nap.

[emphistic]

If it’s okay with you, can I request modern day Sukuna comforting an overwhelmed reader who’s so stressed to the point of crying?

a/n: i, personally, am really bad at comforting others so i did a little self-projecting lmao — also, apologies to anyone who drowns in my sea of commas

You down the rest of your energy drink before rubbing your eyes and checking the time on your phone. 10:47pm, you sighed.

This was going to be the third time in a row that you pull an all-nighter. But it was okay. Albeit thousands deep in student debt, after you get financially stable it would be okay. When you're able to sleep without worrying about loans, it would be okay. When you're able to think without another assignment getting in the way, it would be okay. When you're able to have a relaxing night to yourself, it would be okay. When the eyebags finally decide to go away, it would be okay.

It would be okay. It would be . . . okay.

Okay?

Just okay?

You didn't need 'okay'.

Completely and utterly exasperated, you didn't even notice the tears beginning to slip down your cheeks. Quickly, you moved to wipe them away with your sleeve.

You didn't need 'okay'. You needed . . .

A hand — which you figured to be belonging to your pink-haired boyfriend, Sukuna — swiftly pushed the lid of your laptop down. "You need to learn how to take a break. Relax, kid. You haven't come to bed in days, much less: slept, even." I miss you, he wanted to say, but couldn't bring himself to.

"Heyy, I was using that. Sukunaaa," you turned to look at the man, jutting your bottom lip out into a pout.

"You should be thanking me, actually. You've been practically living off caffeine," Sukuna gingerly grabbed you be the arm and peeled you off of your chair.

"You stink, by the way," Sukuna remarked.

"I'm busy, 'Kuna. I have to get back to my work, the due date is—"

"Do you ever stop talking?" Sukuna guided — more like dragged — you to your shared bedroom, and then into your bathroom, forcing you to sit on the tiled floor whilst he drew you a bath.

Your head, and the rest of your body, leaned against the tub; your eyes kept threatening to close, but you didn't let them. Instead choosing to continue staring at Sukuna's bare back and his unruly bed-hair.

He must've awoken and climbed out of bed just to come fetch you. Your heart fluttered at the thought, but you pushed it aside, thinking it too unrealistic.

Unbeknownst to you, you were actually wrong — maybe not in the way you imagined, though. He didn't wake up to fetch you because. . . He was never sleeping in the first place. The absence of you in his arms had kept him awake, staring at the desolate ceiling, tossing and turning — until he couldn't take it anymore, which leads you here: to present time.

Sukuna stopped the flow of the water, breaking you out of your thoughts; he turned towards you and squatted down to help you remove all your clothes.

He slowly lifted you into his arms and placed you into the bathtub, before moving to step out of his sweats.

To this, you raised a brow. "Huh? What are you doing?"

"You're not the only one in the house who needs to regularly bathe, duh."

Sukuna entered the tub behind you, pulling your back to his chest. You attempted to start washing yourself but Sukuna grabbed your wrist, kissing your knuckles, adding, "Let me take care of you. Just sit still and look pretty f'me."

The amount of tenderness and compassion that Sukuna used while washing you made you hum in content. While the sloshing and splashing of the water nearly lulled you to sleep — (assignments successfully long forgotten).

When you stepped out of the tub, Sukuna had to hold on to your waist just to wrap your towel around your middle, as you continued to sway in your exhaustion. Your legs could barely hold you up. And that didn't change a bit whilst the pink-haired man also helped brush your teeth.

It did help that Sukuna had forced you to lay down while he massaged you, though. He got on his knees and massaged and rubbed your feet, your back, and the rest of your sore spots.

Sukuna had never gotten on his knees for anyone — excluding carnal activities — but he would do it for you in a heartbeat. So he did. He got on his knees, for you.

Moments later, he rolled you onto your back before crawling into bed next to you. You immediately curled into his side, his arm going to wrap around your waist.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, breathing in the scent of your lemony shampoo and whispering into your hair, "Go to sleep."

"Noo," you snuggled impossibly closer to his chest, seeking his warmth — which you obviously received.

"Idiot. Your body is practically crying out to you at this point. If you don't close your eyes, I'm going to give you a reason to." Sukuna used his middle and index finger to push your eyelids shut. You relented, quickly entering slumber land, and dreamt.

When you woke, your pink-haired hunk of a boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. Seeing your chance, you immediately stretched, yawned, and hurried over to and opened your laptop. Planning to continue where you had left off, only to find that all of your assignments had already been done: written and submitted.

Riiiight, Sukuna was not only handsome, but he was also freakishly smart. Silly you, must've forgotten.

A/N: i usually write sukuna as being a dumb, typical bad boy, but lets switch things up just this once (maybe)

Taglist: @starlets-things @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @lich1 @hannas16 @acroso

#sukuna x reader #ryomen x reader #sukuna x you #jjk x reader #jjk x you #sukuna fluff

[postanagramgenerator]

ok so just for clarification its letters only and things like punctuation and spaces dont count?

i dont have that kind of money but if that is the case (but im arbitrarily including ', ", numbers, and the >:? that comprise an emoji from terezi in the version im using. i basically just took out anything that didnt feel like it added to the message, like exclamation marks and commas) the number for making you do the entirety of you cant fight the homestuck, at 2579 characters comes out to $1289.50

note that im doing this math on an hour of sleep so uh. if anyone here has 1k they wish to spend on anagrammed you cant fight the homestuck maybe double check that i didnt mess it up first

well im also not checking this math but im trusting you. only the person who donates one thousand two hundred eighty nine united states dollars and fifty cents to the gofundme can make me anagram you cant fight the homestuck

#and yeah i did specify it was per letter for a reason. spaces and punctuation dont count #bask ox #mayo nouns #not an anagram

[mrghostrat]

As someone who both edits writing for my job AND uses punctuation.....creatively outside of my job because I like to infuriate people for fun:

I want to know more about the semicolons, plz and thank

(P.S. this is your own fault for writing them so well that I need to know the minutiae of their thoughts and opinions, how dare you be so good at this!!)

AHAH i love this level of curiosity omg, writer’s dream 😭

this line was for @thewolveswolf, because she’s much more confident writing dialogue and constantly dissing her overuse of commas in her prose. and i think i’ve told her dialogue ends with a comma fifty seven thousand times, and she still just “YOUR MUM ENDS WITH A COMMA” then quietly thanks me and asks me to beta another.

anyway i imagine crowley is like this but with semicolons

#ask a rat #bnf au

[seat-safety-switch]

I think every artist is used to the idea of “stop working on it.” At some point, the work is done, and adding extra stuff to it will just make it worse. They’ve all gone through the experience of adding a comma splice, and turning a decent-feeling sentence into a clunky technical thing. Or they’ve bolted on a stray brush stroke, and ended up having to redo all of the hair. Or they’ve messed with the skin shader for their holographic controlled-sentience AI wife and wrecked the frame update time. Business people, though, have never experienced this.

Business folks live by the concept of adding value. If you add value to a thing, then you can sell the thing for more (or to more people.) The easiest way is to give people what they’re asking for, and the convenient part of that is that you can always find someone who will ask for a new feature without being forced to pay for it. Really devious customers will tie the addition of that feature to giving you money.

Examples abound of this phenomenon. Have you ever avoided installing a software update because you know that some project manager somewhere refuses to accept that the project is “done,” and insists upon adding a useless feature that makes it worse? Or bought an oven with a downloadable “turkey mode” that requires wifi access to work? Or bought into some product that used to be great before the upper management decided that their engineers need to stay busy, and added a cost-reduction step or redesign that rendered the thing fragile? I bet you have, and there’s a good reason for this.

It’s because it’s less risky for these folks to “add onto” something that is already loved, than to start something new that maybe will be ignored. That’s subtracting value, even if it isn’t from the same thing. And then they get taken out to the woodshed. How dare you take this risk, they are told by bigger business people, presumably.

There is only one way for us to get out of this: go and make some new stuff. Is it risky? Sure it is. Good thing we’re too stupid to know this, what with our lack of business learnin’. The fact that this philosophy dovetails with my inability to ever actually finish a project but instead switch between ideas a thousand times a second is total coincidence.

[hedgiwithapen]

DHD: no comma murder but make it Leverage

(Leverage AU based on my D&D game Fuck YEAH)

Nate didn't talk about it.  Everyone knew the shape of things, of course, just not the details. Sophie might have guessed, but she had her own secrets, and her prying was too subtle and coaxing--Nate simply stepped out of the net she set, every time.

It was Parker who got it out of Nate, one pointed question at a time. Anyone with an ear to the ground knew he’d dropped off the map when his son was taken. Hunting down stolen art and artifacts, stolen magic, stolen jewels, that could all go to hell. All that mattered was the ship that had attacked his town, and where it had gone.  Parker had sat against the tree, thinking of Archie, thinking of Kelley. What would it have been like, to have someone able to burn it all down to find her?  She knew, now. To be hunted was different than to be sought.  But they'd never find her if she didn't want to be found.

"I found it," Eliot said, climbing down from the tree and handing Hardison back his spyglass. "Docked."

Nate's head shot up. "It's here?" When Sophie had gone poking with Parker's information, he hadn't realized that the ship was this close. They were so far from where he'd started, thousands of miles. 

"The Lost Arc, yeah," Eliot said.

"So what's the plan?" Sophie prompted

Nate took a shaking breath, steadying himself.  "The logbook. If Sam's not on board, we need the logbook. So no fire."

Eliot nodded, and Hardison spread a piece of paper on the ground in front of them. he scribbled 'plan' at the top. Eliot waited for Nate to speak, but the party leader seemed lost in his own heart. 

"So we ki-" Eliot cut himself off with a glance at hardison "-incapacitate the guards-"

"No," Parker said. "Murder."

"No murder," Hardison agreed, writing it down.

"No, comma, murder," Parker corrected, stealing the pen from between his fingers and adding the missing punctuation herself. 

Eliot shrugged.  "Works for me."

"They're slavers," Sophie said, glancing at Nate. "I'm on board with murder."

Nate nodded, his eyes dark. "Eliot, you kill the guards. We need some of them alive to question, though.  Parker, you'll go below and free any prisoners in the commotion, get the logbook if you can. Hardison--"

"I get them off the ship. Yeah, I can figure something out."

"And Sophie?"

"I go ahead to keep the captain busy, then you and I make him very, very dead." She nodded. 

"Ok," Nate said, rolling up the paper. "Let's go steal back my son."

#dammit hedgi day 2023 #Leverage #Beyond the Sierras #I will relate the dnd story if anyone wants it this remains one of my favorite moments

[getawayfox]

@drarrymicrofic says today’s prompt is simple, I say it’s also extra cheesy *grins*. Here is 150 words of established tooth-rotting fluff. Thank you @crazybutgood for being a Comma Guru! 🤍

The perfect teacup in six simple steps:

Step one: boil the water (the deep bubbling sound calls you to the kitchen without fail, no matter where in the house you are)

Step two: warm the teapot (just like my mother taught me; you watch, chin hooked on my shoulder, your arms warm around my waist)

Step three: add the tea leaves (from that little shop on the corner you showed me last spring; I haven’t been to another place since)

Step four: steep the tea (like sinking into a hot bath, you say while we wait, it´s so silly, I can’t keep the smile off my face)

Step five: strain the tea (while you get the teacups in this choreographed dance we’ve practiced a thousand times)

Step six: pour and enjoy (a dash of milk for you, a lemon slice for me, deep exhale, a moment steeped to perfection)

#drarry #draco x harry #drarry mircrofic #drarry squad #established relationship #fluffy fluff

[starqueensthings]

Here’s the quote lovely! Take your time! I’m so glad you wanted to participate!

“may my heart

be the softest place you fall,

may this love

be the wildest place you run”

I am stoked to see what you come up with! 💖

(I got carried away 🙂)

Pairing: Fives x Fem!Reader

Inspired by @anxiouspineapple99’s lovely prompt.

Warning: GENUINELY not proof read. Sorry for all the inevitable comma splices and passive verbs, because Wrecker, is that a bagel?

“Quick, Mesh’la! Climb!”

His tone was frenzied, hurried, panicked, and yet somehow still dripping with the same wild glee that never failed to emerge in the direst of times.

“I’m trying!” you gasped, heart hammering heavily in your ears as you urgently heaved yourself up the narrow, rusty ladder, ignoring the sharp flakes of paint that kept breaking away from each rung and embedding themselves into your palm. “You didn’t tell me I’d be climbing an old fucking ladder on the side of a building, Fives, or I wouldn’t have worn heels.”

“Why would I tell you and ruin the fun?” he jeered from below you, failing to repress the chuckle that accompanied the infuriating grin on his lips.

“This is fun?” you demanded, halting your movements entirely to glare down at him.

“I swear it’ll be fun when we get there!” he defended, nodding toward the top of the ladder still a dozen feet above your head.

“If we don’t get kriffing arrested first,” you grumbled, giving him an indignant shake of the head and a roll of your eyes.

“Yeah, well… they’re not far behind us so I’m not holding my breath,” he answered with a snort. “Here’s hoping whoever is holding the handcuffs likes your pink panties as much as I do, because I think they’re going to be our ticket out of this.”

“Fives!” you gasped, pausing again to jam the hem of your dress between your legs, humiliation threatening to send your cheeks aflame.

“Hey, don’t cover the goods!” he protested, reaching up and yanking the fabric from its unceremonious pinch between your thighs. “I was enjoying the view.”

“I’m going to murder you once my hands are free.”

“Talk kinky to me later, Babe. For now, just climb a little faster… I can see their flashlights around the corner.”

At the top of the ladder was the expanse of a commercial rooftop; the apparent poor craftsmanship of the structure now below your feet had caused significant pooling of water in some areas… yet despite the obvious derelict and despair, the sight before you had instantly robbed you of breath. Your mouth fell open, and without a second thought to the fear that had sent you frantically scrambling up a decrepit ladder in the darkness mere seconds ago, you eagerly took the dozen steps toward the opposite side of the rooftop, deftly pulling your shoes from your feet and tossing them haphazardly to the ground beside you.

Barely inches from your toes was a seemingly infinite drop into the underworld; a column of emptiness encircled with hundreds of thousands of lights, the coil of radiance so descending so deeply into the core of the planet, that their luminescence simply became no match for the sheer distance. A quick glance upward lay the infamous Coruscanti skyline; as majestic as it was endless, and as breathtaking as the audacity of the man who’d led you here.

“Thought you’d like this.” His hands slithered their way around your waist, pulling you tenderly backward until your body was flush with his.

“It’s… gorgeous,” you breathed, tipping your head backward to his chest as he perched his chin atop your shoulder.

“Yup, you sure are.”

You pursed your lips against a grin that would too eagerly expose just how happy you were to be in his company. Since that night that he’d feigned ignorance and asked for help racking up a set of pool balls in the dim lighting of 79’s, Fives, and all his mischievous endeavours, had kept you entirely on your toes. And while his affinity for “fun” was one of the things you loved most about him, it was moments like this that you held close to your heart when the harrowing loneliness of his extended deployments threatened to dismantle your resolve to spend forever with him. It was these quiet spans of only a blink where all distraction went ignored; these seemingly frozen seconds where your love for each other remained impenetrable by the menial factors of time and space; times like this when nothing except the feeling of his fingers between yours and his breath tickling your neck mattered in the grand scheme of life. If you had Fives, you had enough… you had everything.

“I love you,” you whispered, reaching up to weave your fingers into his dark hair.

“I love you too, Cyare.”

You tipped your head back, eyes fluttering closed in preparation for the euphoric feeling of his lips against yours, for the taste of him on your tongue, for his hands to tighten their grip around your body.

“THERE THEY ARE!”

“YOU TWO! HALT AND STATE YOUR BUSINESS.”

Your shoulders jerked in fright at the sudden intrusion; the flashlights that you’d spent the last ten minutes evading, now directing their stark beams of light directly into your eyes, but neither of you moved a muscle.

“THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY,” the officer continued to intone loudly. “HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.”

“Should I throw my panties at them?” you whispered coyly against his lips.

“Honestly? I kinda wanna keep them…” Fives risked stealing another tender peck before saying, “Your shoes will have to stay here though. Get ready to run.”

“Wha-?”

“Now!”

.

Taglist: @anxiouspineapple99 @sinfulsalutations @starrylothcat @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @secondaryrealm @dystopicjumpsuit @freesia-writes @blueink-bluesoul @littlemissmanga @523rdrebel @wings-and-beskar

#writing prompt #my first ever #will I ever recover #the clone wars #clone wars fives #arc trooper fives #fives x reader #fives x you #starqueenswrittenworks

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 🎃💦 ∘₊✧ 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝟜 ✧₊∘

|| ︶꒦꒷𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥꒷꒦︶ | main masterlist ||

@absurdthirst's Kinktober 2023 Prompts

Day 4: Overstimulation, Oviposition/Egglaying, Human Urinal

𝐄𝐠𝐠-𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐀𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐲 ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ Jɪᴢᴢ Fɪɴɢᴇʀs ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ

| PAIRING(s): splorgimum!Mr. Ben x reader | RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 1.3k | CONTENT: crackfic, academic foreplay, eggs, erotic filming | SYNOPSIS: Mr. Ben is down bad for you. Deadass.

“I know you said our sex organs are compatible but our hormones and liquids aren’t, but can’t we try something new? Something fun and, like, ovum adjacent?” you pout.

“I guess I could  figure something out if that’s what you really want,” splorgimum Mr. Ben agrees. “I love that adjective usage, baby. Have you been reading that Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary I got you?”

He licks his lips as he palms himself. It was kinda a weird kink of his, but it made sense for a teacher, you suppose. You just hope this wasn’t going to veer into Geometric Proofs again unless he was going to tessellate that cock into your pussy.

“Yeah, I bookmarked it at defenestration,” you purr with a sultry emphasis on the window ejection term.

He shuts his eyes and groans as he grabs at himself through his dark gray dress slacks. “God, you know what vocabulary does to me. Say something else.”

“Nomenclature,” you hum seductively.

Mr. Ben grunts. “Fuck, say something else. More.”

You walk your knees across the bed to him and lean into his ear.

“Antidisestablishmentarianism,” you say in a tantalizing hush.

Mr. Ben’s hips jerk as he grunts at your foreplay.

“You wanna hear me talk about the Dewey Decimal System?” you coo as you run a hand up his chest.

He looks up to the ceiling as if he’s trying to hold it together and is barely hanging on by a thread. “If you start talking about proprietary library classification systems, I’m not gonna last,” he breathes out heavily.

“Then let’s stop talking, and let’s start fucking,” you suggest with a lewd tug at his raging hardon.

“Yeah,” he agrees, running a thumb over his bottom lip. “Lay back for me, baby.”

You settle onto the soft bed and let him use his spaceboi powers to make your clothes disappear. He breathes excitedly as he pulls out his phone and centers it between your legs. You squirm under the gaze of his camera lens. 

“Lemme just make this Fan Cam of your pussy really quick, baby,” he coos. He taps something on his phone and a bright light illuminates your glistening cunt. “Incredible,” he breathes.

You tug impatiently at his navy blue sports ball themed tie. “Ben, please,” you beg.

“Okay, okay,” he says with a sigh. “Gimme just a sec. Gotta…make sure this… zoom and transition…  is seamless…..” he trails off as he concentrates on his work.

“Don’t you have enough Fan Cams of my pussy, Ben? There’s thousands by this point,” you pout.

He makes a noise like he’s paying attention, but he’s clicking around on his phone again. You hear a slowed down reverb version of Britney Spears’s Toxic playing low in the background. “That’s a good one,” he says to himself.

“BEN,” you call his attention back.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he murmurs with an apologetic grin. He sets his phone aside. “I just hafta make them. You’re my beloved, and your pussy has me in a chokehold.”

You moan at the praise.

“You’re in your Coochie Meow Meow era, and it’s nom nom delish,” he whispers into the shell of your ear as he braces himself above your body.

You grab for his cognac colored leather belt and work it open with deft fingers. He helps to free his massive cock from the confines of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs. 

“Put it in me, please!” you whine.

He shoves himself into you all in one go. You cry out in pleasure. 

“Oh fuck yeah,” he groans as he thrusts sloppily into you.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he stretches you.

“Say something dirty to me, baby,” he urges as he snaps his hips harder.

“The Oxford Comma isn’t mandatory. It’s grammatically optional,” you rasp.

“Ohhh FUCK. Keep going,” he begs.

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell,” you moan.

“OH GOD, I’M GONNA OVIPOSIT IN YOU, BABY.”

“You’re so Daddy! Periodt!” you wail.

“Hhhngggffff- fuck! I’m Daddy, and you’re Mommy,” he cries out. 

You feel a large oblong spherical shape stretch your walls as you both climax. “Ohmygod, Ben! It’s so big!!!”

He grunts as he empties himself into you, smearing his creampie fingers onto the bedsheets on either side of your head.

“Yeah, baby. I’m giving it to ya real big. It’s that C = 2 π r you love.”

He pulls out of you with a gasp. Your pubic mound looks like it swallowed a giant avocado. “What is that?” you ask breathlessly. You feel so full.

“It’s an egg, just like you wanted,” he hums, rubbing his palm against the shape of it where it bulges out from your lower belly. This should really do it for those belly bulge kink sluts you think to yourself.

 “Push it out, baby. Let’s see it,” he spurs you on.

You start bearing down as hard as you can. “Why does it feel all plastic-y?”

“Please do not be alarmed,” the splorgimum voice reassures you telepathically. “It is not derived from such materials. There is no risk of microplastics in your sexual organs.”

“Oh okay, good,” you breathe a sigh of relief. You push as hard as you can. You feel like the Bettie Page of Easter Bunnies. You push and push until the rounded shape moves from where Mr. Ben placed it.

“That’s it. That’s my little Omelette Princess,” he praises.

You break a sweat working it out of you, but finally it emerges. It shoots out of you like a tshirt cannon at a baseball game. Mr. Ben uses his sensual splorgimum spaceboi powers to make it levitate in the middle of the air. It slowly spins, and you can just make out the words underneath the splotches of your slick dripping all over it.

“Is-Is that what I think it is?” you breathe.

Mr. Ben nods and grins triumphantly.

“A Ryan’s World Giant Mystery Egg Series 12?!” you gasp. Tears brim in your eyes. It’s so beautiful floating in the air. You can barely contain your excitement at the thought of holding it. “But that series isn’t even out yet!”

“Only the best for my girl,” Mr. Ben coos.

“Can we–?”

“Of course,” he affirms with a warm smile. He lets it float down into his hands. You begin hastily unwrapping it together. Something is different about this one.

“A Ticonderoga #2 pencil?” You’re bewildered. Where was the slime packet? The minifigure? The collectable stickers?

You dig in further. Mr. Ben pulls out an SAT Prep book. He groans lustfully. “Gonna set that aside for later,” he says as he gives you a lecherous wink.

All in all it wasn’t a bad haul. Just strange. You smack the yellow ruler design slap bracelet onto your wrist and watch it instantly wrap around it. “Cool.”

“I guess I, uh, kinda came up with my own Mystery Egg surprises for this one,” he admits sheepishly. “I hope you don’t mind.”

You hold up the Lunch Lady Paulina minifigure and turn it fondly in your hands. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect,” you say in a reverent, hushed breath.

“No, you’re perfect. I know I’m your bias and that I always munch on it, but I just don’t get it. Why did you choose me?” he asks in a shaky voice.

“We chose each other,” you whisper as you draw him in close.

“You eat it up,” you moan. “No crumbs left.”

“Oh fuck, let’s make a Fan Cam together,” he moans into your mouth as he captures it in a passionate kiss.

“Anything for you, Skinny Legend,” you rasp.

Mr. Ben clicks a few times on his phone before you hear Sza’s voice low from the speakers. You spread yourself open for him and let yourself sink into the comforting and arousing dulcet sounds of

ᵢₜ’ₛ cᵤffᵢₙg ₛₑₐₛₒₙ

ₐₙd ₐₗₗ ₜₕₑ gᵢᵣₗₛ bₑ ₙₑₑdᵢₙg

ₐ bᵢg bₒy

ᵢ ₙₑₑd ₐ bᵢg bₒy

ᵢ wₐₙₜ ₐ bᵢg bₒy

Gᵢᵥₑ ₘₑ ₐ bᵢg bₒy

tagging everybody that wanted to be tagged in the first one plus a couple of extras

@wannab-urs @gracieispunk @milla-frenchy @patti7dc @lumoverheaven @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @xdaddysprincessxx @toxicanonymity @rubyfruitjungle @huffle-punk @jupiter-soups @swiftispunk @bonezone44 @psychedelic-ink@theywhowriteandknowthings @multiversed-daydreamer @beefrobeefcal @clawdee @criticalarchitecture @katiexpunk @covetyou @sugadolly @koshkaj-blog @obscurexsorrows @elegantduckturtle @kdogreads @pedrit0-pascalit0 @admiralackbarssugarbaby @party-hearses

#kinktober #crackfic #pedro pascal characters

[wander-wren]

small things to stop doing in your fics

(or any kind of writing, but i live on ao3. we begin with flat-out crimes and then slowly start moving into things that just bug me personally but aren’t wrong)

epithets. if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a thousand times. you should only be using epithets for characters whose names we do not know. they can also be used VERY rarely to break up the repetition of names/pronouns or to emphasize characters’ relationships/viewpoints, ie “his boyfriend” or “the asshole.”

writing out accents. please stop. you can include a couple of small things, like “somethin’” or “ya” (for “you”), but even keep that to a minimum. specific turns of phrase/references go way farther imo to establish a character’s culture/background/etc. a little goes a long way, and doing it repeatedly can make sentences hard to parse. this also! applies! to children and babytalk! have you ever listened to a child speak? toddlers can enunciate pretty well!

not enough commas. put commas before names and titles. it’s not “Hey John” or “I’m on it captain,” it’s “Hey, John” and “I’m on it, captain.” also, put them after discourse markers/interjections such as “well,” “so,” and “now.” you should be writing “So, how are the kids?” not “So how are the kids?” even if your character is speaking quickly, you still want the commas because of grammar. it can occasionally be acceptable to omit them if you want to indicate extreme excitement/panic/anger/etc, but use it sparingly.

too many commas. i’m a comma fiend like the rest of you so i’m guilty here too, but we gotta at least stop with the comma splices. commas split and independent and dependent clause, meaning that one part of the sentence cannot grammatically stand alone. if all parts are complete sentences on their own, that’s a comma splice. try splitting it into two sentences, using a semicolon, or rewriting. this is usually fine in dialogue, though, that’s just how people talk.

also, using a lot of commas to denote panic is something i used to be HUGELY guilty of and now i hate it. instead of, “I, I, I don’t, I don’t know,” you can try, “I-I…I don’t—I don’t know!” probably not that much punctuation that close together, but for the sake of example. emdashes and ellipses, my beloveds 🫶

roleplay speak. i don’t know what else to succinctly call this? i’m referring to the tendency to be redundant and over-explain, especially in dialogue. it’s a phenomenon i see constantly in rp circles, usually because of post length requirements (and i have little issue with it there, it’s just the culture). things like:

“Surprise!” Adam shouted, popping out from behind the door.

“Oh my god!” Scott screamed, having been completely startled and not expecting Adam to be home yet.

yeah, we can guess that Scott is startled, right? because of the screaming? and clearly if Adam is surprising Scott it stands to reason his presence is unexpected? why are we stating this twice?

i believe this also comes from the mistaken idea that every line of dialogue needs a tag attached, which is….horrible. you can let the dialogue exist on its own sometimes, friends. you can also include an action beat without a tag. like above, i could have just said “Adam popped out from behind the door” and omitted the shouting altogether. we can assume he is being loud because that’s usually how people do surprises. anyway. moving on.

condescending to readers. this isn’t so much about writing as it is author’s notes and the like, and “condescending” may be a strong word, but i’m trying to be succinct. at any rate, please stop telling your audience to not read your fic? “do not read if sensitive to [blank]” or “if you have [disorder] skip this fic!” is a horrible way to trigger warn. people know their own boundaries. tell them what the work actually contains and let them self-select.

i also find “rest stop/check-in” type notes condescending, like “if you are reading this between the hours of 10pm-4am, go to sleep” and “STOP! have you eaten/drank/walked around in the past few hours? go do that!” again, we know ourselves. i’m not your kid, don’t tell me what to do. i don’t mind a polite, casual little “thanks for reading, remember to drink water and take your meds, bye” note, though.

the others in this category? i will straight up not read the fic over that on some days. ESPECIALLY because, in my experience, the people who are most intense about warning for every little thing are the ones with the mildest fics, and that’s not what i’m here for.

complaining about your own wrong tags. this is, admittedly, such a nitpick, and it definitely is more common in certain communities than others. but as longtime followers may know, i’m a bit obsessed with ao3’s tagging system and it drives me BONKERS when people use the wrong tags and follow it with “not actually but there’s no tag for xyz.” here’s the thing: you can still look at all the works that have ANY tag, just the non-canonized ones can’t be filtered on. and the best way to get a tag canonized is, guess what, to USE it! imagine that. also, if you’re using the wrong tag, you’re just going to clog the filter results and get people who don’t actually want to read your fic. just stop.

#writing advice #fanfiction #wren writes #writeblr #this has been in my drafts for a while getting things added to it as i come across them #i think it’s good now #feel free to add your own grievances as long as they’re small #last addition was the commas bc i just dnf’d a fic for having like no commas ever #why is every character talking at warp speed i cant focus #also yes i’m a hypocrite bc you can probably find at least most of these in my fics. ik i have the rp speak one very recently. but thats bc #its a rp turned fic and i’m lazy about editing #i dont mind it in that case i think rp fics are fun its when its clearly Not a rp fic that i get annoyed by it

[writingintheshadowsforever]

Imagine getting captured with Riri and Shuri by the Talokanils

Part 2 to Being Riri's Roommate and a Ex Avenger

"Y/N wake up come on please" a familiar voice called out to you. The same person was softly patting your cheek.

Your eyes started to flutter open as you finally came to with a groan. Riri's face filled your vision once your eyes did open for good. She sighed in relief letting a smile take over, and replaced the distraught look on her face. "There's my girl" she whispered.

Your throat was dry and felt as if it something was stuck in the back of it resulting in a coughing fit. As you finally sat upright bringing a hand up to your neck.

"Aye can we get some water please?" Riri asked rubbing your back.

You had no idea who she was talking to, or where you guys were even located. The last thing you could remember was being locked into battle with two blue people who came from the water. While you, Okoye, Shuri and Riri were crossing the bridge to escape the cops. You don't even remembered what or who knocked you unconscious. A woman looking exactly the ones on the bridge kneeled in front of you holding out a cup. Panic surged in your body and before you could think about it. Your hand was lashing out knocking the cup away as you scrambled backward trying to get to your feet.

The woman held out both of her hands and slowly stood back up. She didn't seem like a threat, but you were still a bit out of it.

"Y/N" another voice called out with a bit more authority. Your head snapped in that direction to see it was none other than Shuri. She walked over placing a hand on your shoulder. "Easy Avenger you're safe the lady means you no harm" she told you.

You gave her a small nod and finally took the time to really take in your surroundings. It was obvious you were in a underwater cave kept lit up with thousands of blue and green glowing worms attached to the ceiling. The space you were occupying was wasn't too big, and there was a decent size hammock. Your clothes had been changed out as well instead of the shirt and joggers. You were now wearing a brown shirt decorated with scaly material, and matching pants made out of a strange material.

"What happened" You croaked hand still massaging your throat.

Shuri offered you a cup filled with liquid that you were guessing was water. You took it and garbled it down.

"I'm not sure exactly where we're located just that we're in a underwater cave. Namor's soldiers brought us here" Shuri explained.

Your eyes scanned the room searching for one more person you had to see since waking up. "Where's Okoye?"

"They left her behind but she's alive and okay. I heard her calling out for me when the whales took us away." Shuri said looking away in shame. She knew her mother was going to blame the General for her capture, but its not like she had other options at the time.

"Why did they bring me?" You asked with a raised eyebrow. If leaving the General behind was a strategy tactic then why bring an actual Avenger along for the ride?

"I told them you would keep Riri cooperative" Shuri answered. A hint of smile playing on her lips.

You gave her a playful glare and shoved her away. It really irked you at how fast she was able to pick up on your crush for the young engineer. It wasn't like you did anything to make it super obvious.

Riri was back in your line of sight throwing her arms around your neck without warning. Your body stiffened for a second but you returned the hug almost immediately. "Damn it y/n I thought you were in a comma, or some shit when I first woke up. Don't do that again please."

"What get knocked out yeah I'll do my best." You chuckled but she shoved at your shoulder after pulling away from the hug. "What?" You questioned her still a bit too relaxed for her liking.

"What happened to this being one big adventure huh?" She said mimicking your voice. Reminding you of the comforting words you gave her back at the dorm, before everything went wrong.

You shrugged "is getting captured not part of every adventure story you ever read?"

"This isn't funny" Riri exclaimed throwing her hands up. "Of course you are all calm you're not the one they want to kill."

At those words your gaze darkened and you shifted your eyes to Shuri who gave you a slight nod. Riri walked over and threw herself back into the hammock. You followed her crouching down to be on eye level with her, and placed a hand on her knee.

"Hey you're still with me okay I'm here and as long as I'm here no one is going to touch you alright. They'll have to get through me first" You swore giving her a knee a quick squeeze.

"She's right Riri and while I'm not going to make a speech out of it. Just know I'm not going to let them hurt you" Shuri agreed having come up behind you.

Riri glanced back and forth between the two of you, and even though she was still worried. Some of the fear did evaporate from her body knowing you two had her back. Your hand left her knee as you rose up and took a seat beside her. "You know in all my years as hero this is my first time being captured." You admitted throwing your arm over Riri's shoulders letting it hang loosely. "I don't like it."

"No one likes being kidnapped y/n like seriously name one person who wants to be taken against their will" Riri said. Her voice more than moody as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Riri you need to calm down" Shuri whispered. She could tell by the way you threw subtle glances around the cave. You were trying to figure out the best escape plan, and it eased her own nerves knowing she at least had you with her. While you were never taken captive before. You had certainly pulled off more than a few rescue missions, and infiltrated a plenty of enemy bases. She was a bit more appreciative of your decision to tag along.

"Can't Wakanda just send the Black Panther down here to rescue us?" Riri asked nervously. She leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees with hopeful eyes.

Shuri hated to crush the little bit of hope the young girl had left, but she wasn't going to lie to her. "No it doesn't work like that anymore we don't have a Black Panther."

Riri threw herself back into the hammock with a dejected look on her face. "Of course y'all stop having a Black Panther when I get kidnapped" she muttered under her breath. Although both you and Shuri were able to hear her. Her comment earned her a hard pinch on her arm from you. She let out a loud yelp flinching away from your hand.

"What was that for?" She hissed at you rubbing her sore arm.

"Watch your words" You whispered in her ear. The Black Panther was still a touchy subject for Shuri, and you saw the pain flash across her face for a brief second. It wouldn't surprise you if the Princess was beating herself up about her refusal to no longer run any experiments to restore the heart-shaped herb.

"Okay fine can't you call the Avengers, and have the assemble to save our asses?" Riri asked turning her glare onto you.

"No technically I'm not a Avenger anymore, and it doesn't work like that anyway" You told her.

"Why not" she sighed in exasperation massaging her temples with her fingers.

"Well the team isn't as put together as before I couldn't tell you who is, and who isn't on the team to be honest."

Before she could reply to your statement another blue woman appeared, and both you and Shuri recognized this one. This was the warrior who knocked you unconscious while you were locked into a battle with the three lackeys. In a blink of an eye you were on your feet standing protectively in front of Shuri and Riri.

"Easy hero I'm not here for a fight" Namor tried to reassure you, but she was speaking her native tongue.

You didn't understand a single word of what she was saying, but held off on attacking since all three of you were at such a huge disadvantage. Shuri placed a hand on shoulder making you look back at her.

"Relax I think its me she wants."

"You know I wasn't just talking about Riri earlier right."

Shuri gave you a soft smile. "I appreciate the concern and the protection but I did request to speak with Namor. Just stay here and keep an eye on her."

Riri was on her feet hovering behind the Princess with waves of fear rolling off her body. There was a slight tremble in her legs, and her eyes were locked onto Namora.

The warrior stepped forward with a piece of clothing in her hands. She held out towards Shuri and said something else.

"What does she want?" Riri asked quietly.

"I think she wants me to put it on." Shuri whispered to both of you. The young engineer finally found the courage to step forward to grip Shuri's arm.

"No way every time a king offers a princess some fancy dress it usually ends with a sacrifice. You can't put that thing on." Riri warned her looking to you for back up.

"She might have a point Shuri" You agreed.

"I don't think I have a choice guys just stay here alright" Shuri said walking over to Namora. The warrior gave her a nod and turned to walk away. "I'll be back" she promised were the Princess's last words, and then she was gone.

"Man we goi-" Riri started to say but paused when you shot her a hardened look.

"We're going to be fine like I said a million other times. I won't let anything happen to you got it?"

Riri nodded.

"Good now, do you want to hear the story of how I got my powers."

#mcu imagine #black panther imagine #riri williams x reader #riri williams imagine #riri williams #shuri x reader

[slafkovskys]

Old money Barzy anon here! Thinking about him taking reader to galas and stuff. He definitely buys her a super fancy and expensive dress because all she probably has in her closet is mini dresses or something and she’s just like “Mat I can’t accept this” but he’s so heart eyes for her he says some sort of book tok type line like “I’ll buy the whole store for you if you want”

it’s for a charity dinner that he has to represent the family for. it takes some convincing for her to agree, but after a couple of kisses and mat’s lazy little grin paired with, “it would be so much more bearable if you were there. i’ll finally have someone to talk shit with,” and two days later she’s in the fitting room of a department store with an evening gown that’s equivalent to half a year of her rent donning her body.

she didn’t mean to look at the price, seriously, but when the amount of zeros after the comma caught her eye, she couldn’t help the strangled noise that escaped her lips. the curtain rips open and mat looks concerned, “what happened? are you okay?”

“it’s seven thousand dollars, mathew!” she whisper shouts, hoping the sales associate (who mat’s mother was apparently very fond of and directed them her way) wouldn’t hear, “i can’t afford that!”

he steps fully into the small room and closes the curtain, face still puzzled, “this is an event that i invited you to, why would you pay?”

“you are crazy if you think i’m letting you buy me something that expensive that i’ll probably wear once. now-” she reaches behind her back and fumbles with the zipper, “get me out of this thing and take me to windsor or something.”

“hey, hey, i would buy this entire store for you if you asked me to. it’s nothing. now, if you wouldn’t have seen the price, would you like this one,” timidly you shake your head and he nods, poking his head out of the curtain, “hey martha, this one’s a no go. could you grab that silver one she was looking at earlier?”

“mat-”

“you were practically drooling, y/n, and so was i thinking about you in it. indulge us both.”

#mat barzal #mathew barzal #old money!barzy