#keep in mind that there's a spectrum

[ilikeflowersandstuff]

I've been struggling to properly express how being aroace makes me feel.

It's like I am on the outside looking in through a brightly lit window of a house that's full of warmth and comfort. During the day people come out to visit me but as soon as the sun sets they return to their own rooms and little pockets of closed community and shut the door in my face. They don't do it to be mean they just want to return to their homes but they do not get that I do not have any place to return to. They tell me I do not need to be lonely, that they are my friends and will always be my friends (which I appreciate don't get me wrong!) but that doesn't change the fact that I only exist on the outside. I only occupy a small window (of their time). I live in a space they visit but I am no one's place to return to.

So many things that I love - paintings, music, films, shows, literature, poetry - talk about things I have never and probably will never get to experience and it's so prevelant and so passionate I feel like I am missing out on a key aspect of what it means to be human.

I feel like I am wrong in some way.

When I tell people about how I've never once been in love, how I always felt a little off, how I cannot imagine actually getting intimate with a real person, how the thought makes me uncomfortable, how I can only think and enjoy thinking about and experience intimacy in a fictional sense/way, how I don't get finding people attractive/hot at a single glance, how the difference between platonic and romantic love just will not click for me, how I never ever felt the urge to ask for someone's number, how dating exhausts me

They tell me I just haven't met the right person yet,

That it's probably my anxiety, it's not that I am ace,

That they felt like that too until they met their current partner,

And maybe that's true but I've been feeling wrong since I was a teen and the fact that there is a label that exists made me think that maybe I am normal and okay the way I am so please do not take that away from me.

#aroace #asexual #aromantic #this is my own personal experience #keep in mind that there's a spectrum #and everybody experiences their sexuality in their own way

[worldsokayestdragon]

shipping Lucifer and Alastor but not romantically or sexually or even platonically but in a secret fourth way. enemies to enemies who hang out with each other all the time. kismesis without the sexy parts. a QPR but in this case the R stands for Rivalry. they both built their own tower on opposite sides of the hotel to avoid each other but neither of them are ever in those towers because they spend all their time in the lobby bickering. they have at least five musical showdowns a week. at first Charlie steps in to deescalate whenever it looks like they're about to actually kill each other but they're always like "we were just talking what's the problem?" so eventually she just leaves them to it. any suggestion to either of them about rising above it or trying to stay away from the other is met with some variation of "I can't back down and give him the satisfaction of thinking he won! also he's fun to piss off" Vox tries to start shit with Alastor and gets smited by the king of hell himself because Lucifer "can't let anything happen to my daughter's hotel's bellhop!" Lucifer seems down after an argument with Charlie and Alastor convinces her to talk things out with her dad who "isn't nearly as entertaining when he's moping about." at no point do they show any signs of hating each other any less. imagine if one of the most important and stable relationships in your life was based on mutual loathing.

#does this even count as shipping i hear you ask #it does if you set aside societys obsession with romance #and open your minds eye to the full spectrum of human emotion and potential fucked up relationships #i want to watch them fight forever #i love hells greatest dad and i think we should keep that energy going #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin lucifer #radioapple #< sorta

[aquilamage]

[Image Description: a set of five edited bug fables screenshots from the pre-battle zommoth encounter. The first is the same as in-game, Kabbu saying "W-What is that!? Something's coming!" The second is of zommoth appearing on screen with its sprite edited to be various shades of pink and yellow, wings the same pattern as Leif's (but still with the purple blight magic stuff in the chest area.) The next three images have the sprite edited in the same way.. The third image is of Leif's saying "...Wh, Rkejrm-m-Muse!? Kjdrira, mebsrgr...!!!" The next is Kabbu saying "Muse!? Leif, that's..." The final is Vi saying "T-That doesn't make any sense!" End ID]

I thought about one of my fucked up and evil au ideas for five minutes again, so I decided to spend like fifty hours making a thing about it. Basically what if Muse went back into Snakemouth later to try to rescue Leif or at least bring back his body and got caught by the roaches.

Putting just the edited sprites under the cut if you wanna see those without the lab mood lighting:

#bug fables #bug fables spoilers #muse bug fables #or as I've been saving my files for this as: #Zommuse #:3 #Leif bug fables #despite taking a super long time (not actually fifty hours but it felt like it) this was fun! #I am so much more comfortable with writing than visual art stuff but since I don't have any specific thoughts on the scenario #past this moment this is a way easier way to get my thought across in slightly more description than my one paragraph up there #eyedropped all the colors off Muze and Grandpa's sprites and then played with them a bit to make them go together nicer #part of the length was me figuring out how to do stuff and part of it was because I had to stitch some stuff together inconveniently #as I said earlier: aa spoiled me. what with having all the game assets and backgrounds either conveniently already extracted #or at least mechanically very easy to get myself because it's all just pixels and all the bits are on different layers! #(also storywise I usually tend to go with giving muse fire magic when I'm thinking things. but keeping the blight was easier shorthand. #and also all those times she's more on leif's end of the cordyceps spectrum. mind more there. so.)

[ihateliterature]

Being asexual is really funny because you keep getting told that no one cares about you and you shouldn't talk about it because it's inappropriate and no one apart from a potential partner would care

But at the same time everyone is weirdly obsessed with your sex life

"have you had sex? yes? no? tell me the exact reasons why you did/did not have sex in great detail"

"you've never had sex? you HAVE to have sex right now! how dare you not have sex? what if you have a partner? you want to torture them? you want them to hate you?"

"you're having sex? how's that possible? you're not allowed, that's illegal. you are abusing your partners"

"do you masturbate? how often?"

"can you orgasm?"

"have you checked your hormones?"

"have you checked your brain?"

"did you never have good sex before?"

"did you have a bad relationship in the past?"

"were you raped?"

"are you a victim of CSA?"

"do you watch porn? what kind? tell me exactly what you felt while watching porn in great detail!"

"you like dressing nicely? wearing make-up? doing your nails? skin care? shaving?! how is that possible? everyone knows that the only reason anyone would do these things is to attract a mate. you must be lying about being asexual"

"do you own sex toys?"

"you're into BDSM? how could you be into BDSM? that's impossible!"

"did you have sex before? you didn't enjoy it, how is that possible, everyone likes sex!/you enjoyed it, how is that possible, everyone knows asexuals are not physically capable of enjoying sex!"

Damn. . .

I thought you didn't care

#asexual humor #asexual #asexual spectrum #asexuality #acespec #can you ppl make up your mind? #cause you keep saying you don't care but you're weirdly preoccupied by it

[kenobihater]

goddamnit. am i actually having a sexuality epiphany because i'm recognizing myself in a fictional cringefail vampire man. you gotta be kidding me

#in my defense being both on the ace spectrum AND hypersexual is a bit of a confusing thing to experience #maybe i'll feel different abt it later but for rn i think that explains a LOT #for real this explains why i don't care about sex 90% of the time but when i do it's like going 0 to 100 in .2 seconds #oh my god. oh my fucking god i used to think gray asexuality was silly bc 'everyone feels that way' oh my GOD i'm a fucking idiot #head in hands bro. cannot believe i was that fucking stupid as a teenager. i was THAT CLOSE to getting it 😮‍💨 #i should talk to my therapist abt this... i haven't talked to anyone abt my hypersexuality ever bc its such a stigmatized symptom but damn #i'm not gonna blame my bipolar for this or anything but damn did it make this possible answer SO much more obscured in my mind #like... damn. i feel so flabbergasted by this #i keep saying damn in the tags. dude this revelation has rendered me without the proper words to convey my emotions......... #i'm gonna be fine but rn i feel all kinds of off kilter from this realization. and i'm still doubting it even so! but it would make SO much #sense!!!!!! ugh i haven't questioned any aspect of my sexuality in earnest in years i genuinely forgot how much it sucks #like yeah there's relief maybe? but also just confusion and annoyance abt my past blindness #god. this is a huge tag ramble i think i'm gonna stop talking now #len speaks

[transmeds]

back to my little rant i had on "is there asexual oppression and if so, what is it?" the whole idea of asexuals that have an enjoy sex immediately invalidates them from experiencing any potential opression.. there is literally no conceivable different between having sex because you love your partner or because you love sex. even "allo" people sometimes struggle to make this distinction. if someone is oppressed for being asexual, it would be at the Very Least for not having sex like being called a virgin or something. but yknow to these ppl sex favorable aces exist so throw that out the window.

the only thing that separates "sex favorable aces" and "allos" is a made up word. thts all. not only bc i dnt think sex favorable aces exist but because there is literally no difference in any way.

#if you want to talk to me about 'how it exists' keep in mind that socially ive been aroace my entire life as a very private person #my parents genuinely asked me if i was asexual and they only knew i liked guys cuz they asked #so whatever potential opression #i would have experienced it not only as someone who has never publically dated anyone but as someone who is sex repulsed and on the #'heavy aro spectrum' or some shit #the fact that ive lived like this is part of the reason im so critical of the idea of asexual oppression like what? r u mad someone made a #joke abt u online? thts not opression babe

[psn-stalling]

Wait, but didn't you have a boyfriend? (Sorry if this is offensive or anything just genuinely confused/curious)

//Answering this one OOC!!

//Aroace people can still date!! It's a spectrum. Just because someone is Aroace that doesn't mean they can't or don't want date. Atlas DID have a romantic relationship at one point.

#//Mod is also aroace!! You just have to keep in mind that not every aroace person is relationship repulsed. #//Its a spectrum and varies from person to person :) #//mod midnight posting!

[ratwithahatonamat]

Autism rant of the day

So im affectionate to those I like, hand kisses as a greeting calling them love,darling and putting my hand around there waist

And when I did it people would cover there face or squeal a bit and on some occasions just drop like a sack of bricks to the floor and everytime it happened I would be so worried because I assumed that meant it was bad and I felt completely horrible

But as my good friend is on the floor just laying there I’m looking to my other friend completely horrified like

“I DIDNT MEAN TO DO THAT????”

And she has to explain to me that no it’s not a bad reaction and this was basically just her being flustered

And I’m still very wary of these things but I’m always reassured when I’m doing my thing most the time it isn’t people being uncomfortable but quit the opposite

#autism #call that spectrum rizz #people are especially very sensitive to pet names which I thought would be cringy #when I’m flustered I just tell people to fuck off and list slurs at them #okay my fear is justified when someone just DROPS TO THE FLOOR #the waist hold is also one people are receptive too and I do it cuz usually I’m trying to keep them close in a crowd so I don’t loose em #I think what makes this funnier is that I’m short especially compared to my aquitence so in my mind I think I just look silly #with enough swagger and non basic understanding of social cues you may also be a short king #‘short’ I’m 5’5 (maybe 5’6? honestly anyones guess) so technically average but I’m usually the shortest in any given room

[the-fading-stars]

Aro who? Totally back in love

#fall out boy #lifeupdate #ok but this is my first crush in 7 years maybe 8 #i'm bad at keeping track of time #still identity as aro cause it's a spectrum and i wouldn't want a classic romantic relationship with the person i have a crush on #i'm thinking seeing her like every two to four weeks ocasionally hugging maybe some headpats cooking together sleeping next to each other #actually i want us to be friends but just put a different label on it so it feels more normal to talk about how great she is extensively #is that what a qpr is? #no idea #anyways kate if you're reading this would you mind if i called you my girlfriend? wouldn't change a thing except for the label tho #also this is tagged as fall out boy because it's a pete wentz reference

[hareofhrair]

Continually frustrated by my attempts to make a cohesive playlist for Shafan because I can’t settle on a single sound for them. You can’t just put Tom Petty, Glen Campbell, Modest Mouse, and Gotye on the same fuckin playlist it doesn’t WORK.

#it needs to FLOW RIGHT #theres gotta be a THEME #shits bouncin all over the spectrum and doesn’t make a damn bit of sense #i keep trying to jam these puzzle pieces together because like #Because Gentle on my Mind is such a perfect snapshot of shafan’s brain #BUT SO IS KING RAT. #and if you play those one after the other you get musical whiplash #listen when i make a playlist it isnt just a collection of songs i relate to a character #it’s supposed to be a coherent experience you can listen to from beginning to end #the songs transition into one another smoothly #the mood is consistent or follows a gradual curve #and it all sounds related like you could find all these songs on the same film soundtrack #and Shafan reliably foils my ability to do this

[exoexid]

the suyeol lore is so crazy

#their relationship is so interesting to me like aoughhhh #like you see subaek and even tho they don't talk a lot on camera (most of the time) those two get along so well #they understand and respect each other so much they take their job very seriously and they're actually good friends as a result #suyeol on the other hand is 12 years of slowburn like it's crazyyyyy #you admire him and believe in him like no one else does and then you discover that he isn't that great actually #so you get disappointed and distance yourself and then you both are in this weird limbo for years as you grow up #and slowly but surely you rediscover how your relationship works because both of you are adults now and now we're here #like yeah suhito was stressed back then the context was not great for a leader AND tao was still with exo so lmao pcy could fend for himself #so i get ittttt they were going through it but. i need to know what he said to pcy like oh my god was it really that bad 😭 #i wonder if they've ever mentioned it 🤔 #writing this bc i just remembered that one time they had to describe e/o and suho was like #“you're my cute dongsaeng i admire your talents so much and oh btw you're not uncomfortable around me these days right? uwu” #LIKE ??? KING YOU CAN'T SAY THAT AND LEAVE US IN THE DARK #(<- they totally can it's not our business lmao) #idolization to tentative ''''enemies'''' to coworkers to friends to good friends is crazy #i need to look into this properly omg let's do some research #anyways i want a subunit :) they can be called exo sc too sehun won't mind bc these are like his favorite people in the world!!! #idk i find the exos and their bond so interesting because you truly have it all with them there's a whole spectrum of friendships #and i appreciate that it's not like with b*s & taegi (if you don't know who they are... let's keep it that way <3) #because those two were just too different to get along. it was extreme. but bighit forced it so much it was painful to see sometimes #and then the hawaii trip came and they painted it like a ''see? after this trip they get along so well now <3'' moment #1. girl let's be serious for a sec 😐 and 2. it's not our business!!!!! focus on making good music!!!!! #i'm so glad exo didn't have to go through something like that bc i just know that they'd have disbanded by now sjfsifjsk #the saranghaja sprite isn't that intense we lovr freedom of choice (keeping in mind that they were under sm) <33333 #so YEAH. can you guys tell i can't sleep hehe :) #dara.t #suho and chanyeol

[gxldensxldiers]

💚Are they prone to jealousy? (Arthur)

🤐Would they ever confess their feelings first? (Io)

💔Do they have a certain type of person they will not enter into a relationship with? (Roze)

From here | Accepting!

💚 Are they prone to jealousy? (Arthur)

Kinda, yeah. His ego does serve as a sort of buffer some of the time, but it isn't foolproof. If he feels like he's being cast aside, ignored or otherwise 'neglected', jealousy will quickly follow. He'll be clingier towards his partner, showing more PDA to 'get the message across' so to speak. Probably gets quieter, stays amicable if his partner happens to be around but just barely. It's subtle, but incredibly obvious if you know him. If you're at all familiar with Giant Schnauzers, just imagine one all pouty over not getting attention for more than five seconds and you've got a jealous Arthur smh

🤐 Would they ever confess their feelings first? (Io)

Absolutely not. Setting aside her tendency to suppress her own emotions to keep them from getting in the way of her work, she just... doesn't see the point necessarily. She recognizes the inherent risk of opening up like that and wouldn't think it was worth sabotaging a developed connection. Not to mention the fact she places significantly more value on actions rather than words- a verbal confession is more of a formality to her. If you care to pay attention, her own feelings and truth will show in her actions and behavior long before anything's verbalized.

💔 Do they have a certain type of person they will not enter into a relationship with? (Roze)

I'm inclined to say no for the most part. If she 'clicks' with someone, for any reason, it isn't hard for her to grow attached in the slightest. She's generally a very open person, especially when it comes to inter-personal connections, it's actually her own issues surrounding commitment that get in the way a majority of the time.

But if we're being completely honest here, while Roze doesn't have any reservations about dating any particular type of person that she knows about; any sort of long-term relationship with a vegan would never be able to happen. She understands health concerns + potential developed sensitivities surrounding meat, but avoiding all animal products is a different (incomprehensible) beast to her.

#asks: access granted #ARTHUR: coffee and pistols for two #IO: mind over matter #ROZE: hungry dogs are never loyal #warhunts #headcanons: file updated #funnily enough this ask has been another little nudge towards making aro-spectrum Roze official in my own little canon #but we'll keep that info in the tags :)

[deadhawke]

How about when it comes to normalizing talking about trans sex can we please keep in mind:

1) Not making assumptions about how a trans person would like their genitalia or other body parts referred to

2) Not making assumptions about if a trans person wants to use certain parts of their body when it comes to sex

Sex with trans people SHOULD be more normalized 100% but even some positivity posts make a lot of assumptions about how trans people as a whole want to have sex and it is getting a little exhausting.

#random dribble #yes this post is brought to you by my personal relationship to terminology #that gets widely applied to transmasc bodies but makes me feel wildly dysphoric #im not saying don’t use certain terminology just keep in mind it may not be universal #I know other trans people across the spectrum who have issues with certain pieces of terminology #that are used when discussing trans bodies #I’m not sure what to tag this #I’m just tired

[ao3org]

Another Update Regarding "No Fandom" tags

AO3 Tag Wranglers recently began testing processes for updating canonical tags (tags that appear in the autocomplete and the filters) that don’t belong to any particular fandom (commonly known as No Fandom tags). We have already begun implementing some of the decisions made during the earliest discussions. By the time this post is published, you may have already noticed some changes we have made.  Several canonical tags are slated to be created or renamed, and we will also be adjusting the subtag and metatag relationships between some tags to better aid Archive users in filtering.  Please keep in mind that many of these changes are large and require a lot of work to identify and attach relevant tags, so it will likely take some time to complete. We ask that you please be patient with us while we work! While we will not be detailing every change we make under the new process, we will be making periodic posts with updates on those changes we believe are most likely to prove helpful for users looking to tag or filter works with the new or revised tags and to avoid confusion as to why changes are being made. 

New Canonicals!

1. COVID-19

Due to long-standing demand, we will be creating a number of new canonicals related to COVID-19. These canonicals include:

COVID-19

COVID-19 Pandemic, which will be subtagged to both COVID-19 and Pandemics

Alternate Universe - No COVID-19, which will be subtagged to Alternate Universe

Post-COVID-19 Pandemic 

COVID-19 Lockdown

Created During COVID-19 Lockdown 

How to Use These To Filter For/Filter Out Works Tagged as relating to COVID-19 ❌ Filtering Out: To filter out all works that use tags referring to COVID-19, the COVID-19 pandemic, or the COVID-19 Lockdown, add COVID-19 to the “Other tags to exclude” field in the works filter. This will also exclude works making use of the subtag COVID-19 Pandemic. If you’d also like to filter out COVID-19 Lockdown, you would need to exclude that tag as well.

☑️ Filtering For: Add COVID-19 to the “Other tags to include” field in the works filter. This will also automatically include the works making use of the subtags COVID-19 Pandemic. If you wish to filter for only the pandemic or the lockdown, you can do so by including either COVID-19 Pandemic or COVID-19 Lockdown only.

2. Isekai and Transmigration

Given the similarities of the concepts, we will be creating a single canonical tag to cover both concepts to allow for easier filtering. Additionally, we will also be creating a canonical for the concept of Reverse Isekai and Reverse Transmigration. This tag will be subtagged to Isekai and Transmigration.

As with the COVID-19 canonicals above, you will be able to use these tags in the works filter to filter for or filter out these concepts. If you filter for/out Isekai and Transmigration it will filter for/out both Isekai and Transmigration as well as Reverse Isekai and Reverse Transmigration. If you would like to only filter for/out Reverse Isekai and Reverse Transmigration, you can just filter for that tag instead.

3. Mommy Kink

This oft-requested canonical will be canonized as Mommy Kink.

4. There Was Only One Bed

The ever-popular trope is now getting its very own canonical and all relevant synonym tags from Sharing a Bed will be moved over to this canonical, which will be canonized as: There Was Only One Bed.

Renaming Outdated Canonicals!

The Archive has been around for a long time, which means there are a lot of canonicals that make use of old and outdated terminology.

6. Asperger Syndrome

One of these canonicals is Asperger Syndrome, which is an outdated medical term which is no longer acceptable, and so will be de-canonized and made a synonym of Autism Spectrum.

7. Fantastic Racism

In the early days of the archive, the tag Fantastic Racism was canonized as a tag that was meant to represent Racism specifically concerning Fantasy or Science Fiction races (e.g. Elves, Orcs, Goblins, Vulcans, Phoenocats, etc.). To correct this particular issue, this tag will be renamed to Fantasy and Fictional Setting Racism to clarify the actual purpose of the tag and will remain subtagged to Racism. Fantastic Racism in particular is a case of exceptionally poor choice of phrasing for what should have been a relatively straightforward concept. The tag wrangling committee is working hard to continue to develop a robust and sustainable collaborative discussion format for making decisions in regards to the canonization of canonicals which are not specific to any fandom in the hopes of avoiding such mistakes in the future.

Reorganization of the Gender Tree and Genderswap/Genderbend Freeform Canonicals!

We will also be re-organizing a number of tags related to the concept of Gender in the coming weeks. The early days of the Archive saw the canonization of a lot of similar concepts which makes searching and filtering for these concepts needlessly complicated and difficult to navigate. 

To help eliminate one such complication, we will be merging Genderbending, Genderswap, Gender or Sex Swap, and Sexswap into a single canonical and renaming this new canonical to Changes to Gender or Sex. 

Similarly, we will be making a number of other similar renames to bring related canonicals in line with this change:

Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex will become Alternate Universe - Always a Different Gender or Sex.

Canon Genderbending will be renamed to Canon-Typical Changes to Gender or Sex

We will also create a new canonical for the concept of temporary gender or sex changes: Temporary Changes to Gender or Sex.

Other gender-related changes freeform tags we will be making in the next few weeks include:

Transgender, Transexual, and Alternate Universe - Trans will be de-canonized and made synonyms of the Trans canonical. 

A canonical will be created for Medical Transition.

These are just some of the freeform tag changes being implemented. While we won’t be announcing every change, you can expect similar updates in the future as we continue to work toward improving the Archive experience. You can also check out some of the other recent changes we have made in our previous update on No Fandom tags. Feel free to follow us on Twitter @ao3_wranglers or keep an eye on this Tumblr for future announcements. Thank you for your patience and understanding as we continue our work!

(From time to time, ao3org posts announcements of recent or upcoming wrangling changes on behalf of the Tag Wrangling Committee.)

#ao3 #archive of our own #tag wrangling changes #no fandom #upcoming tag updates

[baskeigh-ball]

posting some mind swap doodles to prove im still alive, so have a few headcanons :D

- Leo in Mikey's body is pure chaos, he has no boundaries when it comes to modifications to "his" body in order to feel more comfortable in his own skin. For example, he gave himself his old markings to cover up Mikey's spots (only around the eyes tho, the arm and leg markings would take way more time.) He loves using Mikey's mystic powers/weapons at first, but eventually feels too weird about it and switches to his own weapons/gear to cope

- Mikey reins him in whenever he gets a little too confident in using his mystic powers though. Mikey is always hovering nearby to make sure Leo doesn't decide to go overboard, fully aware of Leo's lack of awareness when it comes to his physical limits, let alone when he's in someone else's body

- Raph is on the opposite side of the spectrum as far as modifications go, only willing to give Donnie his tech back and wear arm wraps to feel more like himself.

- The only tech he has to keep is the battle shell, especially after realizing just how fragile Donnie's body really is. He becomes refuses to take it off for days at a time, and when he does finally take it off, he's extremely paranoid and puts himself in the safest spot possible: his own room, bundled up in pillows and blankets.

- He also is woefully ignorant in how the battle shell is operated, so it goes haywire pretty often in the beginning. Donnie has to be nearby and ready to be damage control for a long time before Raph becomes confident enough to operate the battle shell's most basic functions.

#i have so many blurbs for this au #but i'm too lazy to draw it out #seriously considering posting the stuff i've written for the au to pick up the slack but that sounds pretty scary ngl #mind swap drabbles #rottmnt mind swap #rottmnt raph #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #technically rottmnt donnie #rottmnt #my art #rottmnt fanart

[sweet-as-an-angel]

so! you mentioned in the 'p0rn preferences' post that Gaz is not the one who jerks off the most in the 141, and I humbly ask you, who would that be?

I don't mean this as a request, just a little discussion, cause I feel like Soap would just be going at it at any chance possible, like a bunny. he probably doesn't care much if someone hears it, but that's just me thinking too much into it.

Who Jerks off the Most in the 141 + König

Warnings: 18+, Heavy Mentions of Masturbation, Male Masturbation, Implied Reader in Individual Headcanons, Accidental and Implied Voyeurism, Edging, Brief Mention of Injury, Men Who Moan <3, No Pronouns Used For Reader Except 'You'.

A/N: As per Anon's question (which I just had to turn into a post of its own) I present to you the list of the 141 members (and König) who jerk off from the most to least <3

Soap

I have to agree with you here, Anon - Johnny is most definitely the king of self love when it comes to the 141.

He doesn't much care where he is or who he's with; when he has to satisfy his needs, he'll do so.

Though, he'll spare whoever's with him the sight of watching him throwing his head back, trying to stifle his moans behind gritted teeth whilst the wet sound of his hand slipping up and down the length of his shaft fill the room.

Unless they want to.

For one reason or another, he's nigh-insatiable when it comes to his libido, and the fact that his stamina affords him the luxury of beating himself off until his cum is practically translucent doesn't help.

The slightest thing can set him off.

Someone brushing past him ? Hard.

Someone stroking his ego a little too enthusiastically ? Bricked up.

He sees something that's shaped to be a little too curvy or phallic ? Stiff as a pole.

He remembers something mildly suggestive you did three years ago in that restaurant ? He's going to the Horny Realm.

Yes, his teammates have complained about his incessant moaning-come-grunting-come-whimpering through all hours of the night, his voice contorting through a spectrum of desperation and Johnny always ending up spent and overstimulated by the time the sun comes up.

And then he's ready to do it all again the second night touches the horizon line, giving his teammates a knowing smile when he walks into the room sporting nothing else save for a pair of boxers and a monster that looks to be trying to tear itself free from them.

Gaz

Dude's young. Of course he's throttling that rooster on a nigh-daily basis.

The only reason he's not at it as much as Soap is because he likes to believe he still has a few threads of his self-restraint intact.

He doesn't.

Especially when it comes to you (regardless of whether you're dating yet or not).

But he doesn't need to know that.

Honestly, the only thing that separates him from Johnny's unmatched libido is the fact that it takes a little more than the slightest provocation to get Gaz going.

Albeit, that line is a thin one.

If he so much as accidentally sees something explicit for upwards of three seconds, he's hard.

The only advantage of his need for satisfaction is the speed with which he can achieve it.

He and Johnny actually timed each other once to see who could get off the fastest.

Gaz won. Though, only by a slim margin.

Needless to say, that made for a rather interesting conversation with the Captain when he walked in on two of his best soldiers sat panting on the edge of their cots, an almost-translucent spray spattered across their stomachs, eyes half-lidded and hazy.

Ghost

The third-in-line for the Throttle Throne is none other than our beloved Ghost.

Unlike Johnny and Gaz, Ghost is more likely to leave himself alone at the first sign of trouble, toughing it out until he can will his mind to less lustful pastimes.

He won't make his jacking off known to anyone, either, often doing it in the shower where the water beats down so harshly that no sound can be heard for the water's fall.

That, and he's a master at keeping his voice low, no matter the circumstances.

More often than not, Simon makes quick work of jerking off purely because it’s a means to an end. However, if it’s you he’s thinking of, he’s much more likely to take his time — to immerse himself in the fantasy of your body around his, taking him so well in one capacity or another. Fucking yourself dumb on his cock.

During these times, he’s thorough — much more likely to edge himself, to throw his head back and growl between gritted teeth, to savour the sensation coiling in his stomach, his balls growing tight.

Otherwise, he’ll stroke one out as quickly as he can, getting back to business as usual.

And to look at him, on the surface, you'd never know that he just spent the last three minutes rubbing one out in the bathroom (yes, he is also a contender for first place in the 'Who Can Jack Off The Quickest Competition', but he'll never allow Johnny or Gaz the luxury of witnessing his unprecedented skill; that's for your eyes only).

Until he corners you, breathing down your neck, scolding you for tempting him - a man whose restraint lies only in his ability to hold off from reducing you to an exponential reflection of his prior state, breathless and covered in fluids.

König

Have you seen the size of that thing ? Man should be in the olympics for being able to throw that weight around.

Similarly to Ghost, König only gets himself off when it's absolutely necessary.

Only if he doesn't have you lying around to help him, of course.

Though, he lets himself have a bit of fun with it. Especially if it's been a tough day.

He's vocal, too. Though he tries not to be.

He just can't help it. Days' - maybe even weeks' - worth of unspent adrenaline and semen is hardly any way for a soldier like König to go about his life. So, he expels it in the privacy of quite literally any isolated space he can find.

König is not an adventurous spirit by any means when it comes to self pleasure, but when needs must, he's willing to shoulder the weight of the prospect that someone on his team could walk in at any second and catch him spraying his stomach or the wall white with, let's face it, thick ropes of cum.

Hong-Jin's actually caught him doing that before now.

That's actually how the two became friends: Horangi heard König grunting in the store cupboard and, knowing how stubborn his Colonel was with letting others know when he was injured, sought him out. Wanted to offer his help.

Catching Colonel König in the act of throwing his head back whilst growling the name '(Y/N)' into the darkest corner of the room was, suffice it to say, not what Horangi had been expecting.

Price

You just know he's cool with it. And by 'cool', I mean incredibly intentional, controlled, and not ravenous in the ways our other favourite military princesses are.

Sure, Price has gotten hard on the job a few times.

Who hasn't ?

But thanks to his level head, unwavering devotion to his work, and absolute refusal to acknowledge that he did, in fact, get a little bit of a chub during a shoot-out, he's managed to gain control over every facet of his body.

Until he comes home to you, of course.

Until he's able to loom over you like an omen and run his hands down your sides, stopping at your hips and pressing kisses that become more open-mouthed the further down the side of your neck he dips.

Pressing his hips into yours. Something demands your attention.

There have been very few occasions where a cold shower wasn't a quick enough fix for him.

When the days of having you milk him are too far out of sight, he's had to suffice with his own hands before now. Had to imagine - remember - what yours felt like in his place, your lips curled up as he gripped the chair arms, breathless as he moaned into the warm tones of your shared apartment.

But don't worry ! He'll be sure to catch you up on everything you've missed while he's been away once he returns.

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