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fungal-wasted · 2 years

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Canyon - WoH chapter 9

In which some past sins start crawling on their back but they ignore them.

Summary: Two travelers climb the steep caverns of Fog Canyon. There are unsettling thoughts making their way through the surface, which the wanderer will try to make sense of.

Words: 2.2K

Start from the beginning here

(full chapter under the cut)

“Rough shift?”

You nod, taking a sip of warm tea, struggling to restrain the shiver running through your hands. You don't wanna go into details.

“We lost another one. A fly.” You lost a couple of bugs too.

You ask if you have to write to the family.

“No, don’t worry about it. This one has no relatives on our records.”

You nod again, eyes on the tiled floor.

“Look, none of the standard methods are working so far. We can try keeping them stable for some time but it’s always the same end result. I heard many of the people in the research department are quitting. They don’t wanna raise an alarm, but they can't find anything of use.”

You ask about the bug’s feelings on the current state of things. You can’t remember this insect as clearly as you wish. There is some familiarity. Colleague.

“I don’t know. We really chose the best time to train to become healers. huh?” The sarcasm in those words makes you uneasy. So does the colleagues’ nonchalance. “I don’t think I’m quitting, though. Recently, I was listening to my supervisor. She was talking about an incident with a particularly violent patient. I didn’t hear most of it, but they say they made a… discovery.”

Your digits drum on your cup, faster in pace. You are hesitant to reply or voice an opinion, so you nod to let the other elaborate.

“This man, head of the magic department, has been studying the properties of bugs as they pass away. He believes the cure to this plague is in the power of Soul…”

You wake up before that sentence ends.

Being honest with yourself, you had feared what would happen when you fell asleep. You find that instinctively, you seek darkness now, as if light threatened to burn you from the inside. In that regard, sleeping should be helpful, but it makes you vulnerable to dreams. Dreams were supposed to be inspiring, blissful, sometimes confusing, but the thought of them now simply causes an instinctive rejection. Thinking about it too much felt as if a swarm of lumaflies flew towards you, threatening to poke at the deepest edges of your memories. What you just experienced wasn’t as bad, so you reassure yourself that there is nothing real to fear.

(But why did you wake up so soon? Why do you feel so nauseous?)

Dreaming doesn’t burn now, but it certainly brings back unpleasant images. Nobody was exempt from such things, you thought as you turned over yourself, pressing your side on the cold floor. Asking about your experiences during the first wave of the plague was similar to asking someone about the weather, as if the breeze in the caverns and the new body count were comparable. But you doubted everyone had seen the same things as you did.

The truth they painted is not a good one. You feel your insides twist, making you shiver at the implications of your dream.

You could not manage to sleep again, so you sat up, pacing around in hopes that the images would assemble into a coherent story that let you fill in the blanks (that you knew the answer to but didn’t dare to actually think about), and flopped on the nearest seat once it became clear it would take more than merely rotating the same things in your mind to make any progress (admission).

Some time later, you took out the maps you had picked up recently. You were examining the possible routes in Fog Canyon’s map as your companion awoke, and after exchanging a few words and watching them leave, you pick another piece of paper, a new idea on your mind. It is time to do some self examination.

You take a quill, an incomplete map of the Crossroads and write down what you have cleared so far.

And this is where your thoughts go blank for a moment, as you reach the “present” events.

First you write your full name, which you then erase and just leave the first name in there. It feels less formal. Something about your first name still stings, but you dismiss the unease.

Then you write down your age. You are not a young bug just out of the nest, but you are not as experienced as older bugs either. You were old enough to have a job, but you weren’t quite stable back then.

You see a spot at the bottom right corner of the map, which seems unfinished. You wonder if the cartographer just never finished to chart down there, or if the place is inaccessible now. The map of the Crossroads seems to focus on the main corridors, where trading took place. You scribble a few homes in there. Your drawings aren’t as good, but you understand the general concept.

That’s Blueshore. The town behind the Blue Lake.

That… was your hometown.

(Not anymore.)

You had moved to an apartment in the City, back when your application for a scholarship was accepted.

Scholarship! That rings a bell (one that you’re willing to hear, at least). You can remember the tablet you received on your doorstep: its weight as heavy as the significance of the words in it. Clay is not a common writing material anymore, but prizes of such relevance needed a firmer constitution, for those that wished to preserve it. Your family wanted to hang it on your front door, as a sign of pride. You didn’t let them, embarrassed at the idea, but you still thanked their compliments.

Maybe you should have hung it, just for their sake.

You write that down. That is a reason for being in the City instead of Blueshore, working at home. You were a student. (A healer?) But you also worked. Students like you were doing their internships earlier to account for the demand of healers.

You write down the place you frequented during your internship. You then add a cross next to it, disgusted. You left, you remember that. You will never associate with that place again, and you hope that it's fallen to ruin like everything else. Nothing of value is left in there, and the best it can do is fade into oblivion. (But that doesn’t change the fact you knew of it, and what already happened.)

You close the map and fold it carelessly. It’s started to wrinkle. You don’t mind.

The Archives also come to mind now as you fix your eyes on the bubbles growing from the walls. The trips there bring happier memories. You studied regularly in… the City, but on occasion, bugs like you would visit the canyon’s building. You would hang out by the Queen’s Station and make your way up to the Teacher’s facility along with your fellow classmates.

The thought cheers you up somewhat, serving as a nice distraction from the previous current, just by the time your friend returns from their walk around the station. They grab your arm and their bag as they talk about their findings.You nod along, feeling a rush of energy in anticipation.

You know exactly where to take them.

The foggy caverns west of the station are as bright as you remember them. The wind blows colder and faster in there, but it is nothing you are not used to. The trihorned bug next to you has their eyes fixed on a group of lumaflies that float around one of the metal signs. There is an improvised drawing of Geo in it, clearly covering a different symbol. After a moment, they speak:

“This looks so much like a scam, look at that paint,” they rub the tip of their nail against it, watching the paint crack beneath.

“Was that supposed to lead somewhere?” You ask, not finding anything that remotely looked like a bank. You don’t recall there being any building of the sort.

“A dark alley, I guess. You gotta be naive to fall for it though.” They laughed, a memory resurfacing. “One of my brothers, uh, Big Guy, once brought one of these signs home. I’ve no idea how he got it. I bet he stole it though.”

“How did he manage to get away with it?” You ask, puzzled.

“Eh, I think he just found it while partying, he or a friend broke it and took it. Almost everyone was asleep at that time of the cycle so nobody caught him with it on the street. Thing is, I wake up the next day and the fucking Golden Scarab Avenue sign is hanging right next to my head.”

“Did it startle you?”

“Nah.” They shrug. “I thought it was awesome of him. He was great, it’s why my siblings and I called him ‘Big guy’.” Their pride is palpable in their words. Then, they walk towards the broken sign. ”I kind of…. wanna take this one with me, for old time’s sake.”

You ask them if there is anything that stops them.

“You’re right, I can just take it. Would it fit in my bag? Maybe not… but I can carry it on my arm. It makes for a shield too.”

“I don’t think anything here will try to attack you.”

“I just wanna play it safe, pal.” They wave, dismissing the topic and taking the closest staircase. Rigid vines and bubble tree roots have overtaken the walls and some of the tiles on the floor stick out. The taller bug is careful not to trip on their way up. “Hey so, you know where we’re going, right?”

“I do, yes. We are on the right path, even if some aspects have changed.” You touch one of the once smooth stone walls, now covered in branches. “Did you know that the Canyon used to be a part of Greenpath?”

“I think I heard about that once?” They shrug, standing on a stop, waiting for you to arrive. “What do you know?”

“Oh, well, the Archives were a common visit for students and others interested in innovation. Sometimes bugs would take the stag from the storerooms to the Queen’s Station, but I personally liked walking if I had the time.”

“Did you study there? I heard they had some of the best technicians in Hallownest.”

“I actually just took a class or two there”, you fidgeted with the handle of your nail. “I was not a technician, but I can confirm their expertise. The lumaflies native to this area are used all over the kingdom, and they provide a quick source of energy. That is why a lot of technology was made here.”

“Do they hurt to touch?” They ask, as a swarm gets closer and sparks come out of them.

“Only if they charge like that. I think there are some ways to lure them but don’t quote me on that.”

You reach a higher passage, clinging to the thin branches for support where the railings are lacking. The canyon was known for being the nest of the few creatures that could withstand the acidic water in its lakes. Oomas, strange, floating creatures made their home in it. They were a common sight in smaller, less crowded caves, but they had proliferated in the absence of bugs to keep them out of the way. It was no surprise that the most resilient organisms were the ones to thrive in spite of the harshness of nature. Though passive, the oomas made use of the wind and acid for their benefit.

Even if thousands of bugs wandered into these caverns in a constant stream of travelers, its inhabitants would adapt and regrow. Thin, yet strong branches fed from soil that would kill most other plants and fungi. Those are the often called bubble trees. You think there is some lesson you can get out of their resilience, but you’re sure that many others before you have already done that in the past, likely through more creative and eloquent ways. There is nothing new you can add to the discussion. (And frankly, it feels almost insulting that you, knowing yourself and what you did, should have a say in regrowth of any k—)

“Watch out!”

The trihorn bug tackles you, as an ooma core speeds through, hitting solid rock behind you. The shock causes both of you to trip, their weight turning you over your side. The core collides on a corner, exploding into an orange mass. You hold to your weapon for support as you get up.

You hear hissing, horror flowing through your veins as you realize the explosion has caused a chain reaction on another ooma, this time closer to you both.

“Hide in here!” They say, holding the street sign as a shield.

But you don’t have enough time.

You stretch one of your limbs, close your eyes, and focus on yourself, knowing it’s over.

The explosion does not occur where you expect it to, you’re unharmed.

The core has exploded in the middle of the air. Far enough from anything that could potentially perpetuate the chain reaction of explosions.

You sigh in relief.

“How did you do that?!”

Do… what?

“Is that some kind of magic? That was like a fireball!”

“I don’t know.” You reply.

(But you do know, and they know you do, too.)

#my writing #im not even putting this on the main tag because it doesnt feel enough like fanfic anymore #but its also not original enough lol #woh #hk oc #im kinda anxious about my friends or mutuals reading this #bc i feel like this whole thing is weird #so if you see this try it at your own risk but i don't guarantee quality #and my beliefs in some stuff has slightly changed ever since #Ok so lets be honest #i didnt update in over 3 months #i didnt spend those months writing or planning ahead #i spent them debating whether i should just delete this thing #and i won't #im just gonna write whatever i want for my own sake #and stop cringing so bad at it #i may go back to older chapters and change a few details #but rereading... i actually do like some parts #so while i have no idea who would find this appealing #i will move on #I wanna talk about the chapter itself too #like half of the writer's block was N1s fault because they're unreliable as hell #and like if I were n2 i'd be pissed but n2 hasn't seen through those inconsistencies yet #so basically ive spent weeks thinking of how to make that play out #i have some... ideas #hmmm what else #i also wanted to keep the backstory as vague as possible but meh we're gonna drop more story #anyways n1 is tough to write because theyre the most Normal except im putting them through trauma now and they're feeling guilty #so good for them i guess lol #fran ocs

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honeymoonjin · 3 years

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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ot7 x reader || ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 7.8k || ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut - rated 18+

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ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: threesome, nipple play, riding, unprotected sex, dom!taehyung, sub!?, restraints, blindfold, degradation, praise

A/N: it's my first time writing tgm smut in so long i hope it's okay ;;;-;

DAY TWENTY-SIX

Unable to fall deeply into sleep, when you wake fitfully at half past six in the morning, you decide to give up on it entirely.

A bath wakes you up slowly and gently, in no rush to clean yourself with a soapy loofah, the sweet smell of orange blossom lifting your mood just slightly. No matter how hard you scrub at your skin, Jin’s touch lingers beneath the surface like a tattoo, the reminder that you’d willingly chosen to cut him off from you that elimination day, and that your decision was keeping him from you.

The previous night, you’d spent hours with a hand cradling your cheek, trying to work out what the kiss even meant. A farewell, a consolation prize, a promise for patience? Either way, it just felt cruel to you. You rub harder, covering yourself in the foamed soap and watching it dissolve into the water.

By the time you dry yourself, well over an hour has passed, and the pangs of hunger start to flare off inside your stomach. You dress quickly, thoughtlessly, and sneak out of your door to the complete silence of the second storey. Nobody else seems to be awake yet, so you take your chance to go down and start on some breakfast.

The selection is relatively bleak to your lazy body, unwilling to make anything that requires the kind of effort the two eldest men tended to give for a meal. In the end, you tug some leftover curry from the back of the fridge, giving it a stir and setting it to heat up in the microwave.

The rhythmic whir and countdown combined with your lack of sleep is enough to have you feeling weak, slumping on the counter top. You rest your heavy head for a moment, pillowing it with your arm, and watch the dish turn around and around and…

“-matter, we’ll just wait and find out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Trust hyung. It’ll be fine. Can you pass me the- no, just beside it, the soy sauce- thank you. Should be ready soon.”

“Mhm, smells good.”

Adjusting to your sloped return to consciousness, it is the inviting smell that greets you after your hearing. A deep, meaty aroma is lifted with spices, making your mouth water.

The moment you shift, a sharp pain runs down your spine, settling at the back of your neck. You grunt, eyes squeezing shut at the ache.

“There she is. Must’ve been tired, poor thing.” The first one grows louder, sounding close to you as fingers reach out to tap your shoulder. “Wake up, sweetheart. Let’s get you something to eat.”

You groan again, lifting your heavy body up enough to prop your elbows on the table and press your hands against your eyes, willing coherence to sink back in. “Morning,” you croak, though by the way you feel, it could very well be evening.

The figure behind you - Yoongi, by his smooth rumbling voice - moves back around into the kitchen, and your ears perk up with the clink of bowls on the countertop. Blinking blearily, you yawn and focus in on the second person.

Jungkook is lifting a heavy saucepan and carefully pouring a stew into three bowls, the pink of his tongue trapped between his lips. “‘S that enough?” he questions, biceps flexing beneath his shirt as he hovers with the pan.

Yoongi nods once, fiddling in the drawer for spoons and chopsticks, and quickly hands you a set with your bowl, steaming lightly.

You smile gratefully, reaching out to feel the heat radiating off the ceramic. “Thanks, Yoongi.” The last of your sleep fades away, and you gasp suddenly, shooting up ramrod straight. “Wait - Yoongi, Jungkook! You’re back!”

“Keen eye,” Yoongi drawls sarcastically, but a fond smile plays on his lips nonetheless as he blows on a spoonful of broth. “Dad checked out of the hospital around 5. He’s doing really well.”

“Oh, Yoongi, I’m so glad,” you gush, relief filling your system.

Yoongi, however, seems to grow somber, eyebrows drawing together. “It wasn’t all good news, though.”

You freeze. “What? What happened?”

Like the news pains him, Yoongi grimaces. Jungkook, too, looks absolutely crestfallen. In unison, they open their mouths with matching frowns.

“The restaurant sold out of lamb skewers.”

“I didn’t see a single gho- Oh, yeah, the lamb skewers,” Jungkook tacks on, deflating. “But we stopped by a market on the way home to buy some lamb so we could make our own.”

“We?” Yoongi asks incredulously. “I didn’t see any ‘we’ when you refused to chop vegetables just now.”

Jungkook makes an offended noise in the back of his throat. “I just suffered a paranormal experience, hyung, I was too shaky to handle a knife.”

“You just said you didn’t see any ghosts.”

The youngest huffs. “I felt them.”

Your head darts back and forth, lamb stew forgotten as you watch the playful rally between the two men. Yoongi doesn’t miss a beat, raising a single brow. “What; was there a poltergeist petting zoo on the fourth floor I wasn’t told about?”

“Their presence, hyung. I felt their presence. Taehyung even said he could feel a chilling aura coming through the phone and into his body, but he thinks it could’ve just been Jimin’s feet.”

Yoongi presses a few fingers to his temples like he’s getting a headache. “You mean to tell me I had to get my sickly father to pretend you were his son all for you to stay the night, and the only thing that happened was Taehyung getting possessed by the ghost of Jimin’s feet?”

Jungkook blinks once. “There was a vending machine that gave out free lollipops,” he offers.

“A vending…” Yoongi sighs, eyes slipping closed. “Jungkook, I think that’s for patients who get low blood sugar. For emergencies.”

“Oh.” Jungkook considers this for a moment. “I took five of them.”

“Of course you did. Alright, eat up, please. It’s getting cold.”

You quickly thank Yoongi for the meal with a bemused smile, chest feeling light at having the two back in your company, and Yoongi in a visibly better mood than the past two times you’d seen him. The three of you fall into an easy silence for a few moments, but it doesn’t last long as the others in the house begin to wake.

Namjoon is first down, getting over his initial surprise quickly and rapid-firing countless questions to Yoongi about his father, ensuring he truly was alright. Taehyung and Jimin are next, the former just about barrelling into Jungkook and Yoongi, tugging them into a bear hug as Jimin watches fondly from behind. When a bleary-eyed Hoseok comes down, he notices the breakfast before the company, letting out a relieved groan at a mouthful of broth and promptly choking on it as he processes the presence of Jungkook and Yoongi.

Finally, it’s Jin that takes the longest to wake, and when he turns the corner and spots them, his only response is a wordless sigh, and a silent hug. Despite that, his emotions radiate off him in waves, and you don’t doubt there are unsaid words shared between him and Yoongi. To your surprise, he breaks away after a moment and pulls Jungkook into a tight albeit brief embrace as well, patting him on the back with a quiet murmur you don’t catch.

It feels right, comfortable and calming to have all eight of you back in the Villa together. The short absence feels so much more extended when you’re used to the same company twenty-four hours a day, and having them all back in your immediate vicinity again feels like a hit of some intense high. The relief rushes through your system, and you catch yourself unconsciously counting heads over and over.

“So I guess we just sit here?” Hoseok asks at one point, interrupting the blanket of quiet that had descended over you as you ate. “Do you think we should text Sejin and tell him to come debrief us or what? It feels like we’re in limbo.”

“No need.” A new voice resonates from behind you, Sejin himself walking through the doorway.

Taehyung narrows his eyes to the point of almost closing them, glaring first at the producer and then at the dormant cameras in the top corners of the room.

“Don’t worry, we aren’t rolling just yet. I’ve just been waiting a while for you all to get sorted. I figured you deserved to at least eat first, Yoongi, Jungkook.”

“Well, we’ve eaten,” Yoongi confirms, oddly stiff, an unreadable expression darkening his features. “I guess that means it’s showtime again.”

Jungkook looks up at him from his hunched posture leaning on the countertop. “I bet a lot of them missed you, hyung. The viewers. They seemed really worried on Twitter.”

Yoongi blinks, shifting. “Missed-? I- I suppose it was sudden. We should probably get this thing up and running again so they aren’t concerned.”

As Sejin nods in confirmation and pulls out his phone to relay the message, you nearly miss the quirk at Jungkook’s lips at changing Yoongi’s attitude so easily. The two of them seem at ease with each other like nothing you’ve seen before. No doubt due to the time they’d spent together last night, and it warms your heart to see them standing so closely.

“Come on, then,” Sejin announces, belatedly lifting his gaze and putting his phone back away, the cameras installed around the room blinking back to life with their steady red blip. “Let’s move to the couches again.”

“Just like the good old days,” Jungkook sighs dreamily.

Jin raises a brow, taking a seat in the center of the middle couch, the two youngest jumping in on either side of him like toddlers ready for a bedtime story. You do your best to ignore him, still feeling sensitive from the night before. “You mean ‘just like four days ago?’”

From his left side, Taehyung huffs lightly, though makes no effort to distance himself at all from the eldest. “Time is a social construct.”

“Can we make a start?” Sejin questions, perched on the corner of the coffee table with his hands on this thighs. “I doubt the viewers are here to listen to you bicker.”

“Right you are,” Taehyung notes, nodding sagely, “they’re here for the good stuff.” He shares a glance with Jungkook, and in unison the two of them place their hands side-by-side directly on top of Jin’s crotch, glancing up at the cameras expectantly.

Jin clicks his tongue like his dick being used as a prop is little more than a mild inconvenience, making no move to push their hands away.

They do, however, when Sejin flattens a stare at the two of them. The youngest properly chastened, the producer finally looks around at all of you as a group. “For the sake of continuity and coherence, we’re picking up where we last left off: Limited Edition week. Yoongi, you’re the only one to already have completed your prompt-” the man puffs his chest at this, sharp eyes darting to you as Sejin speaks, “-so you’re done for the week. Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook and Jimin, I’m afraid you’re left with very little time to complete yours. Because of this, you’re no longer required to wait for a text message to start your scenes, and I’m also postponing the Fan Favourite vote until Monday morning to give you some additional time. We’ll unfortunately have to merge it with the elimination meeting. Today is already Friday, so do the best you can.”

“We won’t let you down,” Jungkook promises fiercely, conspicuously glancing down at Jin’s lap as if he’s about to use it for emphasis again.

Sejin sighs, shifting back, continuing on as if he didn’t hear the strangely passionate pact. “If anyone has forgotten their prompt, don’t hesitate to ask, otherwise the show is back on as per usual. Producer Kang is coming in at midday to set up the confessional booth again, so from this afternoon onwards, feel free to use it again to share your thoughts. I’m sure the viewers will have their fair share of questions for you as well. Understood?”

Most of you nod, content with the update. You try and fight the sickly flutter of anxiety in your chest that creeps up at the reminder of elimination, focusing instead on the side of you that’s relieved to have this level of normalcy back, and secretly pleased to have your cards filled up for the next few days. It feels like it’s been longer than it has, and you shift in your seat wondering who will approach you first out of the four men yet to fill their prompt.

Perhaps it won’t be Jungkook; he pushes himself off Jin and tiptoes to Sejin’s retreating figure, asking for a reminder on his prompt with shy pink cheeks. The producer lets out a weak laugh of bemusement and guides him out of the front door to escort him to the producing van outside.

The others seem to know what they’re doing, and you spy Namjoon and Hoseok with heads ducked together, Hoseok grinning at something Namjoon’s saying. The two have been growing closer lately, almost out of nowhere, and you’re curious if they’ll stick as two peas in a pod when it comes to the game, too.

The four of you that remain chill for a bit, making lazy conversation on how strange it feels being back on the clock again. It’s nice, being able to enjoy the time relatively care-free. Despite the overall weirdness of the competition in context to real life, it’s become a comfortable familiarity, and you welcome it back.

You could happily spend the whole morning there, were it not for the sharp bolt of pain that rushes up your spine when you turn to listen to something Jimin has to say.

Gasping, hand coming up to cradle the back of your neck instinctively, you squeeze your eyes shut at the sensation. From beside you, it takes no time for Jimin’s hands to find you, gently settling on your back and arm as he asks you if you’re okay.

“I fell asleep on the counter this morning,” you admit, trying not to move your head at all as you speak, “I think it messed up my neck.”

As your eyes untense and open again, you see Jimin’s rounded in concern, first at you and then glancing over at Tae in sober worry. His teeth are running over his lower lip over and over, a habit that he does in moments of stress and helplessness, and through the ache you can’t help but feel warm at his reaction.

“When does it hurt most?” you hear Taehyung ask, and it’s habit that makes you turn your head to face him.

“Fuck,” you curse thickly, shoulders hunching up against the tight feeling, “just when I turn it. Feels like a tug that shouldn’t be there.”

Yoongi and Jin are silent, and from your new angle of vision, you can see their apt focus on you, Yoongi going so far as to be shuffled half off his couch, ready to jump up and give medical aid.

“It’s probably a crick in your neck,” Taehyung asks, and you spot his mop of browl curls fill your vision as he crouches in front of you and looks back over his shoulder. “Right, hyung?”

Yoongi hums in agreement. “Sounds like it. I can get a heat pack?”

“I have some upstairs,” Taehyung answers, “I think a massage would help a lot. Y/n, do you think you can make it upstairs?”

You take a moment to consider this, and gently shift your head around with small motions. Up and down seems to be fine, and left and right hurt the more you turn. “I think it’ll be okay,” you decide, “I didn’t really notice it that much until just now.”

“Okay.” Taehyung presses his lips together and stands up again, holding out his hand to you. Slowly, with several check-ins, he guides you upstairs and into his bedroom, assisting you in sitting down on the bed, propped up against a mountain of pillows. You leave Jin and Yoongi downstairs, but Jimin insists on following, his hand warm against the small of your back the whole way up.

Feeling a little embarrassed at the fuss they’re making, you nonetheless soak up the chance to be at the center of their attention, Jimin linking your fingers together from the side of the bed as Taehyung rushes around, grabbing a single-use heat pack and some massage oils.

“You’ll need to turn around so your back is facing me,” Taehyung instructs, getting on the bed behind you. It’s a little awkward shifting around with three of you on the bed, and you unable to really move as freely as you’d like, but after a moment Jimin has replaced your original spot against the headboard, your knees bumping his as you sit cross-legged with Taehyung behind you. “Okay, that’s good. Just relax.”

Your shirt has a relatively low, round neck, and even though it’s not quite loose enough to push past your shoulders, Tae doesn’t want to make you take it off and risk hurting yourself further, so he just makes do, warming some oil between his fingers.

The soothing smell of lavender fills the air, and your shoulders go lax as Taehyung slips gently presses down on them with his still-dry knuckles, thumbs sliding up to hold your neck steady. As he pushes the hem down as much as he can and begins to slide his fingertips over your skin to spread the aromatic oil, you fight the urge to let your head loll back. It’s been a long time since Taehyung gave you a massage, and though you have no doubt he’d do it anytime in a heartbeat if you asked, you always felt strange approaching it. A crick in the neck was not ideal, but certainly a nice excuse to have his hands on you again.

In front of you, Jimin watches you carefully for any sight of pain. While a month ago you may have been intimidated or even put off by his intense stare, you know he’s there to make sure you’re alright, and you’ve seen him vulnerable enough to feel okay sharing this with him.

It is still a little awkward, however, and as Taehyung lets his fingers dip as low as they can between your shoulder blades, you send Jimin a crooked smile. “Do you want some popcorn?”

He scoffs warmly with a shake of his head. “If I’m bothering you…?”

You almost shake your head, sucking in a sharp breath through your nose as you fight the automatic urge. “No, you’re fine. I just don’t think me getting my neck fixed is very-” Your voice is abruptly cut off by a staccato groan punched out of you by Taehyung pressing his thumbs right into the knots on either side of the base of your neck. He crawls them up carefully but confidently, beginning to smooth out the tension, and you can’t help your eyes fluttering shut. “Very entertaining,” you finish, breathier than when you started.

“That’s where I’d have to disagree,” Jimin responds in a buttery whisper. With eyes closed, you don’t see him move, and are caught off guard by the tickle of sensation that arises on the sensitive skin of your inner ankle as he slowly sweeps a single fingertip in lazy circles around the bump of the bone. The touch isn’t particularly sexy in its location, but nevertheless feels dizzingly intimate with the knowledge of whose finger it is roaming the fine details of your body.

“I see how it is,” you manage to respond, but the fight is drained from you from both ends; Jimin at your ankles, Taehyung at the nape of your neck. Taehyung’s touch is distinctly heavier and more decisive than Jimin’s, and it becomes harder to resist lying back against him as he works at the sore muscles of your neck.

“My clients aren’t normally so chatty with someone that isn’t me,” Taehyung remarks from behind you, lightly flicking the side of your neck in playful complaint.

“Client?” you question with a pout he can’t see but can definitely hear. “Are we not even lovers, Tae?”

He hums, so low in his chest that it’s a soft growl, and his hands converge on your sternum, face coming forward to press at the side of your cheek as he hugs you from behind. Your heart rate picks up at the proximity; his lips so close to yours, but impossible to reach from the angle. “You know I can’t touch you like a lover should. Not now.”

“Would it be so bad?” you wonder aloud, even as you recall the rule that would get him kicked out should he touch you intimately. The rule wasn’t so harsh were it you to touch him, however. “I could.”

His breath comes out in a rush that tingles your jaw. “Don’t tempt me,” he warns, sitting back upright and pressing the sides of your neck to straighten you up again, “you’re injured.”

“I’m injured?” you retort, “I thought you were meant to be fixing me. You mustn’t be doing a very good job.”

This time, the sound that leaves him most certainly is a growl. His fingers dig into the dips in your upper spine with a ferocity that while measured is distinctly more authoritative. You feel manhandled into wellness, the pain malleable and easily manipulated by his touch. Your body is heavy, barely able to hold itself up, but inside you feel lighter than air, so thrilled to be at the receiving end of Taehyung’s dominance after such a long time under Jimin’s strong hand.

As if following your thoughts, Taehyung mutters out a low, “hyung?” Jimin hums in response, his fingers circling your ankle and letting the lax weight of his arm pin you to the mattress. “I want to touch her so bad.”

You let out an unfiltered moan as you hear Taehyung talk about you to the man on your other side as if you’re not even there, though his fingers never stop for a second, leaching away every last ounce of pain.

“You can’t,” Jimin replies simply.

“But you can,” Taehyung fires back. “Do you trust me?”

Your eyes open wide as you hear the hidden meaning behind his words. Jimin seems to recognise it, too, as he looks past you with lips parted in surprise. It takes him a moment, but he eventually does respond. “I trust you.”

“Get the blindfold.”

It’s clear Jimin is hesitant about letting Taehyung take control. Not the kind of resistance you’d expect he’d give someone else trying to dom him, but simply the delay of uncertainty, of inexperience. He gets up on his knees after a moment to reach into the bedside stand’s drawer, pulling out a soft black sleeping mask.

Taehyung’s hands finally slow, fingertips slipping just under the hem, fiddling with your bra straps. “Put it on, hyung.”

“Tae,” Jimin breathes, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but he goes along, slipping it over his head and adjusting it, lips pursed. You see the way his Adam’s apple bobs with a harsh swallow, his toes curling and staying tucked.

“How’s your neck?” Taehyung asks you, and in your daze at seeing Jimin gingerly submit, it takes you a second to even realise he’s addressing you. You quickly assure him it’s fine, and feel your heart race as he takes his hands off you and backs away, pulling you backwards as he does. “Lie down for us,” he commands softly.

Your breathing is elevated, and you can’t seem to calm it as you watch Taehyung in your peripheral pull up a chair to the side of the bed. His knuckles are white as he clutches the arms, but his face is darkly focused.

“You can’t fuck her with all those clothes on, hyung,” Taehyung states simply, and you can see the way Jimin’s brows lift above the blindfold.

Obediently, Jimin moves towards you, but with his vision obscured he pats around to find you, fingers running blindly up your side to seek out the lower hem of your shirt and lift it over your head. There’s something strangely exciting about Jimin being the one to disrobe you, when only Taehyung will see your naked body, and the clumsy way the older man fiddles with the zip on your jeans before slipping them off makes it feel like he’s touching you for the first time.

It takes him no time at all to unhook your bra once he finds the hinge, and soon enough your panties, the only scrap of fabric left on your body, are being tugged down your legs impatiently. Once they’re gone, however, Jimin’s hands hover uncertainly over you, awaiting further instruction.

Taehyung grins, though Jimin won’t see it, and wets his lips. “So you can be a good boy, hm? Who would’ve thought the big bad wolf was just a little puppy?”

Jimin swallows, nostrils flaring as he struggles with his own submission. He offers no answer, but Taehyung doesn’t seem to mind, sitting forward in the chair.

“Are you hard, Jimin?” The blue-haired man grits his teeth at the intentional lack of honorifics, but confirms reluctantly that he is. “Show us.”

After opening and closing his mouth, Jimin swallows hard again and his fingers pat against his waistband until he reaches the button, undoing it and dipping a hand in to release his cock. True to his word, he’s hard, the tip glossed with precum and angry red.

A wave of arousal rushes through you so strong that you clench around nothing, wanting nothing more than to push him back and take what you need yourself. But it’s fascinating seeing him like this, and you don’t want to even speak, too scared to break the spell Taehyung has somehow constructed.

The younger man just lets out a flat noise as if unimpressed. Jimin’s dick twitches as his cheeks heat in shame. “Tae,” he breathes, fingers digging into the tensed flesh of his still-clothed thighs.

“It would benefit you to give my name more respect than that. I’m not your boyfriend now, not your pet. I’m your boss. I say what you can and cannot do. So what do you say to me?”

Jimin’s lips are parted, a pretty pink that trembles if you look closely enough. He stays silent for a moment, thinking it through. “Mister Kim,” he says, going so far as to duck his head shallowly in an imitation of a bow.

A dark smirk tugs at Taehyung’s lips. “I like that,” he decides, “good boy. Why don’t you touch our girl, then? She’s arching so nicely for you, Jimin, I think she wants to feel you on her pretty little tits.”

Your eyes couldn’t be wider if you tried, fingers twisted harshly in the bedsheets on either side of you. It’s true, your back hitching off the mattress in need. Truth be told, you’re shivering in the desire to feel him anywhere, but the thought of him flicking at your sensitive nipples has you letting out a shaky whimper.

It’s not Jimin’s hands that greet you, however. Instead, he uses them to catch his fall when he hangs forward, face burying in the soft skin close to your right hip. You can feel the hard tip of his nose, the tickle of his eyelashes, and the plush warmth of his lips.

You tremble beneath him at the way his breath heats your naked skin in pants. Jimin navigates higher with his nose, running it over you, lips dragging against you just enough for you to catch scrapes of his bottom teeth occasionally as he works from left to right, seeking out the swell of your breasts.

It’s not long before he crawls high enough, but it feels like an eternity of absence has been broken when it’s not his fingers but his hot, wet mouth that closes over your nipple, sucking it in like a man starved.

You gasp at the sudden bloom of sensation, a moan getting clogged in your throat. Once Jimin reaches you, you can feel the confidence of his usual dom persona return in the intense way he laps and nipples at the stiffening peak, but the hastened breaths that have his chest heaving above you are entirely due to Taehyung’s invisible grasp on the both of you.

It’s not until Jimin fastens his teeth around your nipple and tugs once, harsh enough to make you keen and grab at his shoulders, that he moves to the other side, repeating the previous treatment with twice the hunger and desperation as before.

“Mm, atta boy,” Taehyung praises in a borderline sarcastic drawl. Jimin huffs through his noise noisily against you as he places sloppy kisses on the pebbled skin around your nipple, and your eyes roll back at the overwhelming situation you’ve found yourself in. There’s something unbelievably obscene about being at the whim of Jimin touch but Taehyung’s command, of hearing and seeing and feeling Jimin be just as affected by Tae as you are.

Jimin’s still mostly dressed, but you can feel the heat radiating from his unsheathed cock as it presses against your leg, and you will Taehyung to demand Jimin fuck you, feeling out of your mind with need.

“You want to taste her somewhere else, don’t you?” Taehyung asks after a few moments of ecstasy. Jimin groans lowly against you, and you feel his hair tickle your breast as he nods. Taehyung’s voice hardens. “That’s a shame. On your back, Jimin. Clothes off.”

You and Jimin whine in unison as you’re parted again, but the latter wastes no time in undressing, throwing his shirt, pants and underwear away blindly, almost hitting Taehyung with them.

Taehyung lets out a cheeky smile as he ducks out of the way, before steeling his expression again and standing up to join you at the bed. You prop yourself up on your elbows to watch as Jimin lies down beside you, head propped up on the pillows.

Making him wait in silence and darkness for a moment long enough to make Jimin hold back another whine with a bit lip, Taehyung suddenly reaches out and rakes his nails up Jimin’s chest from his lower stomach to his collarbones, flicking his nipples on the way.

Jimin hisses and almost comes clean off the mattress, arms flying down, but Taehyung catches him at the wrists and tugs his arms up with a roughness that takes Jimin by surprise, leaving him pinned open with reddening lines across his torso.

“Fuck,” he curses, head thrashing back and forth once in frustration. He looks overwhelmed already, though you’re beginning to suspect this is his first time subbing, at least in many years. “T- Mister Kim, Mister Kim, please.”

“Y/n’s going to take what she wants now, Jimin,” Taehyung instructs gruffly, sending you an expectant gaze for you to get up, “and you’re going to give it all to her. Isn’t that right?”

“Please,” Jimin repeats brokenly, fingers curling in the open air as Taehyung holds his wrists up.

Heart racing violently in your chest, you find yourself straddling Jimin with barely-restrained excitement. His cock is lying against his lower abdomen, leaking steadily, and the moment you reach out and take it in your hand he lets out a low, keening sob, thighs lifting as if to curl in on himself.

“Colour, Jimin,” Taehyung demands, loosening his hold on the man’s wrists briefly.

Jimin lets out a frustrated whine, foot stomping against the mattress. He’s panting like he’s run a marathon, even with your hand still on him, and it almost seems like he’s about to end the scene with the pained look on his face. “Dammit, green. Fuck.”

Taehyung pauses for a moment, but suddenly a booming laugh is leaving him as he stares down at the figure on the bed below him, with restrained arms hanging uselessly in the air. “Oh, you dirty fucking boy,” he gushes, bending down to nip at the already-swollen flesh of Jimin’s lips, making the older boy whimper, “you love this, don’t you?”

Shaking his head, Jimin can’t hide the way blood rushes to his cheeks, tinging his face and neck pink as his cock pulses in your grip. It encourages you to move again, and you lean down to spit on it, hearing him hiccup wetly at the feeling of it before you’re jerking him off steadily to spread the slick around.

As much as he tries, Jimin can only hold back the sounds of pleasure for so long, and by the time you’re straddling him, lining him up at your entrance, his chest is heaving and every breath out is tinged in a moan. He all but trembles in anticipation as his tip bumps against you, and you suck in a single slow breath to prepare yourself before you’re sitting on his cock, feeling it part your walls deep inside.

Jimin shudders, and his arms, still in Taehyung’s grip, tug towards his own face to cover it, fingers curling into claws at the flood of sensation.

“Is it good?” Taehyung asks rhetorically, allowing Jimin to pull his hands over his face before cruelly spreading them wide again, leaning down until their noses touch, voice dipping to a gruff whisper, thick with arousal. “You don’t get to hide from us.”

You’re propping yourself up with one hand on Jimin’s heated chest and another on the mattress, letting yourself adjust to the intrusion, and you see the way his lips tremble every time you clench around him.

Though it hasn’t really been that long, you feel the stretch more than usual, especially without the foreplay involving any fingering. But, if you’re honest with yourself, you wouldn’t want it any other way.

There’s something so divine about rocking your hips against him and having his cock open you up through your own movements. You control the pace despite the whines and weak growls of complaint, and you take your time with it. While Jimin might prefer more friction, more motion, you’re enjoying the deep grind, his pelvis pressed to your clit every time you lean forward.

You look up from him, at Taehyung holding him down for you. His hair is messy, but no more than before, and he’s still fully dressed. His eyes are dark with lust and glimmering with excitement, and once he feels your gaze he looks up at you sharply. Your heart jumps, and you squeeze unintentionally around Jimin, making him groan.

Still looking at Taehyung, however, at his sculpted lips, strong gaze and hooded lids, you’re overwhelmed with the urge to lean forward and kiss him. It’s like a string is tied between the two of you, being cranked tighter and tighter. It would be so easy just to give in and-

“Don’t be mean, Y/n. Jimin is being good for us.” Taehyung grins at you, teeth glinting. “Make him come.”

Jimin’s chest hitches, and his hips rock shallowly up at you, unable to get the momentum to do much more. Still, it causes him to drag against your walls, and the pleasure shoots up your core at the feeling. Inspired by both your own pleasure and the need to please the two men with you, you steel your thighs and begin to ride Jimin in earnest.

It’s harder than you expect to keep a rhythm up. Every time you get a good downstroke that reaches your g-spot, it makes your legs tremble, and before long your thighs begin to ache. Nonetheless, you’re determined as you watch Jimin’s blindfolded face contort in pleasure, and you shift your position and bounce harder.

In the back of your mind, you hear Taehyung praise you, but you barely spare him a glance, chest lowering so that you can put all your energy into the tight motion of your hips. Your fingers dig into Jimin’s shoulder, and his muscles tense beneath them as he tries to reach out for you.

Every time he’s reminded of the grip Taehyung has on his arms, Jimin thrashes just a little beneath you, but his cock just keeps on getting stiffer inside you, and as you suck in harsh lungfuls of air, you know he’s getting close.

The sounds that leave his parted lips are nothing short of pornographic, losing all sense of shame or hesitation as he approaches that peak.

You fight off your own orgasm, tightening around Jimin as you try and hold back and distract yourself with him. You’re losing stamina quickly, the rhythm falling apart into unsteady jerks and bounces.

Taehyung watches you carefully, before bending down again and biting right into the plush flesh of Jimin’s cheek, addressing him only after he soothes the blooming red with his tongue. “Why don’t you return the favour and fuck her a little, my good boy?”

Jimin sobs, and his abs tighten as he attempts to get up, but Taehyung just tuts, instructing him to do it right where he is. Clearly too far gone to protest, you feel Jimin prop his feet up against the mattress with a shaky sniff. That’s your only warning before he makes full use of his core strength to piston his hips up into you with toe-curling speed, purely seeking out his own end.

You cry out, knees buckling at the first thrust, and your chin hits his shoulder awkwardly, almost biting your own tongue. Clutching at his arms, you attempt to hold yourself up enough not to bear your dead weight on him, and go along for the ride.

Even from his unwieldy position, Jimin manages far better than you did, and his his moans quickly raise in pitch and shorten in length, until he’s whimpering in desperate yips, thrusting up into you with such ferocity that your teeth chatter.

He’s deep inside you, deeper than he’s been before, and your eyes begin to well at your own impending orgasm.

Closer than you, however, Jimin freezes for a split second before he’s shuddering violently and spurting inside you. Taehyung holds onto him for a moment longer before he releases his wrists, and suddenly you’re being caged in by Jimin, his arms holding you flush against his heated torso as he grinds his cum into you, still blindfolded and barely able to catch a breath.

It’s this rocking motion that tips you over the edge, your clit gaining enough friction to break the dam, and you sob hard as the pleasure wracks through you. There isn’t a single inch of space between you and Jimin, and just as you think you’re in pure ecstasy, you feel Taehyung’s hand tangle in your hair, stroking it as his lips brush the shell of your ear with praises intended for the two of you.

Your face is wet and your body is trembling uncontrollably as you let your climax run through you, and when it fades you feel hollowed out, boneless.

Jimin is clearly the same, because he quite contentedly lets you lie atop him, panting just as hard as you are. His eyes remain closed long after Taehyung slips the blindfold off, pressing kisses to Jimin’s eyelids and the flush on his cheeks.

After a sweet eternity, you gather enough energy to roll off Jimin and sit up, separating yourself from him. He sighs out weakly, and you’re shocked to see just how drained he seems. For a moment, your heart stutters, but as you reach out and grab his hand, matching Taehyung who has his other one sandwiched between his, a drunken smile stretches across Jimin’s face.

“What the fuck?” he asks breathily, chuckling slightly despite his exhaustion. A single eye cracks open, looks up at the two of you with a warm gaze, before slipping shut again. “Oh my god, I can’t believe… I can’t believe that.”

“Can’t believe you liked it?” Taehyung questions, and even after the scene you hear a tinge of nervousness in his tone.

“God, Tae, I think I get it now,” Jimin gushes, voice lowering into a sleepy slur, “it’s- that was fun.”

Taehyung beams, squeezing Jimin’s hand fondly.

Jimin sighs in bliss. “And next time I’m going to edge you so much you cry, Mister Kim.”

The smile drops off Taehyung’s face in an instant. “Hey! That’s not fair. I let you come.”

Whatever protest Jimin would normally fire back is dissolved in his post-orgasm bliss. Instead, he just hums sweetly, entirely unbothered by the sticky mess his lower torso has become.

“Come on,” you jibe softly, feeling your own skin growing tacky, “let’s get you in the shower.”

Jimin groans at the thought of standing up, but Taehyung is having none of it, digging his hands under Jimin’s back to lever him up like a crowbar. “Yeah, we’re not gonna stop taking care of you just because you busted a nut, asshole. Get up and let me clean your dick like the good dom I am.”

Though Jimin huffs all the way to the shower, as the two of you clean him up, dry him off and dress him in a pair of Taehyung’s sweats and a baggy shirt, his eyes never stop gleaming for a second, not-so-secretly enjoying every minute of it.

The three of you spend an hour or so post-shower chilling in Taehyung’s room before hunger overcomes you one at a time. You’ve certainly missed lunch, but there is plenty still left in the fridge, and Jimin takes on the duty of reheating it as a silent thank you for the scene.

He’s quieter than usual, and you know it has to do with the intensity of it, at least for him. It was a big deal, actually submitting to another, and both you and Taehyung keep a close eye on him, filling the silence between the two of you so he doesn’t feel the need to exert himself, but keeping him close nonetheless.

At one point, Jimin goes upstairs to take a nap, insisting he’s fine on his own, and Namjoon and Hoseok return inside from where they’d been having a picnic of sorts (or perhaps fucking on the lawn, though they refuse to deny nor confirm your teasing accusation). The four of you put on a random reality show you’d been meaning to watch, and it isn’t long before Jungkook is joining you too, piling on the couch between the two subtle lovebirds. When Jin comes down, he half-watches from the kitchen, preparing some side dishes for dinner, but Yoongi is nowhere to be seen.

Your mind doesn’t linger on the thought for long, getting distracted by the dating show that somehow is just as ridiculous as the one you’re on, and you let the time slip by as you watch episode after episode. It’s nice to rest up, aching a little bit in a new place than before, but satisfied.

When Yoongi comes down, you’re so caught up watching television that you don’t even see him. It’s not until he cuts into your line of sight and holds out a decisive hand that you blink into focus and notice his presence.

“Y/n. A minute.”

You stare at him for another minute, brain not catching up. Yoongi huffs and bends down, grabbing onto your hand and tugging you up off the couch.

The others stare at you in bewilderment, and you return the confused gaze over your shoulder as he tug you out of the room.

Stumbling through the hallway, you furrow your eyebrows as he leads you up the stairs, almost frantic in his pace.

Arriving at your own door, he throws it open and pulls you inside and shuts it behind you. Your brain catches up, and you let out an uncertain laugh. “Yoongi, you already did your prompt, you don’t have to-”

You’re cut off by a pair of lips on yours.

Yoongi’s body knocks you back and pins you firmly to the door as his mouth slants against yours. Both hands cupping your face, he kisses you like there’s no tomorrow, tongue darting out slightly to flick at your lips.

You let out a surprised moan that gets entirely swallowed by him, knees weak and held up only by his hold. Frantic, hurried, his kisses convey a thousand praises, and your mind whirls with the sudden passion.

This close, you can smell the musk of his cologne. It dizzies you, and you feel as if his hands on your cheeks and his lips on yours are the only thing anchoring you to the world. They move against you, exploring your mouth with a desperate sweetness. You can’t wrap your head around it, can’t catch up, and so you let yourself drown in it instead, clasping at the fabric of Yoongi’s shirt to hold yourself steady.

When you finally part, he rips himself away with dazed eyes, pupils blown with desire. “Y/n,” he breathes, staring at you in wonder as if for the first time. He steps back again, after a moment, touching his swollen lips with a disbelieving smile. “I really tried, you know.”

You frown in confusion, stepping forward to get closer again. “Tried what? Yoongi, I don’t understand.”

“I tried not to fall in love with you like the rest.”

You have no words, mouth hanging open. Before you can think of anything to say, he’s moving past you and letting himself out of your room, the door half-ajar as his footsteps recede into silence.

You stay up in your room for what must be hours, replaying his words over and over in your head, lips tingling.

You miss dinner that way, too occupied in your own thoughts to even notice the knock at your door. Even as the sky darkens outside your window, you feel too wired to sleep, running through every single interaction you’ve ever had with Yoongi. Reading them in every possible way you could.

Working out if you would be telling the truth to say it back.

Your mind runs in circles, unable to land on a single answer, on a single perspective or truth or belief.

Late into the night, and further to the early hours of the morning, you force yourself to think about every other member in the house, too. About how they treat you, how kind they are to you, the way they look at you.

About the way your heart races when you’re around them, even as they comfort you with their presence alone.

You manage to fall asleep shortly before sunrise, eyes aching and body exhausted, every line of thinking and internal interrogation whittled down to a single two words.

I’m fucked.

#the gentlemen #bts smut #bts x reader #jimin smut #taehyung smut #jimin x reader #namjoon x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #jin x reader #hoseok x reader #yoongi x reader #tgm

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azul-marie · 2 years

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welcome to tumblr¡ 💗 can I ask for a drabble with a bit of angst that ends in fluff?) for saburo yamada with a reader who usually participates in beauty contests but this because in her childhood she suffered abuse by her father who made her feel horrible

hello! thank you for requesting. i hope i interpreted this the way you wanted, and that you enjoy it. take care!

note: fem. reader

genre: angst/comfort/fluff.

characters: saburo yamada.

"saburo, do i look okay?"

slowly his eyes raise from a complicated code sprawled across his tablet to your place at his desk, now a makeshift beauty parlor, a flash of a peek enough to confirm his opinion. "yeah, really nice." he says. it's a common enough interaction that he doesn't give a second thought to look at you, really look at you. he didn't lie; he never does. you always knew how lovely you were, how to make sure you stayed that way. saburo trusted your judgement over his own most of the time.

you let out a deep, listless sigh. saburo's eyes snap up from his screen.

"what?" he asks, vaguely concerned. your shoulders are slumped. the intricate style of your hair seems to wilt along, your carefully crafted design falling victim to gravity. now that he looks, really looks, he can tell that the makeup you apply so perfectly suddenly looks off, like colors clashing in a mishmash. saburo feels a pierce of idiocy. rare indeed, but he supposes even he makes miscalculations from time to time. he's only ashamed it happened with you.

"name? what's going on?" he asks again, having only met your silence. he tucks his tablet away so he can slip to your side, kneeling to look up at you from below. "did something happen at school today?"

you shake your head. it takes another moment for you to gather yourself. saburo waits quietly as you do.

"you know...my beauty contests, right?" you ask softly. "lately, i haven't been able to focus on them. i don't know...i don't really know why. i've been doing them since i was little, so it's all i really know how to do. but..." there's a tremble of your lip, a cotton wad caught in your throat. "i never wanted to do this, you know? my dad pushed me to join them. he made me feel...like, this was the only thing i was good for. he never asked how i felt. i don't even think he cared. and now that i'm getting older, i'm just...i'm so scared i won't be good at this anymore. i don't know what else to do." your face crumbles into tears, unable to hold them back any longer. your hands fly up to muffle your sobs, partly shamed of letting saburo see you this way.

he stays still, shocked at the sight before him for a few seconds. he's half the mind he usually is before he realizes himself. saburo scrambles to wrap his arms around you, surprising you both. but he does not let you go. he wraps you up tightly, the way ichi-nii hugs him when he's had a nightmare, the way he hopes will calm you down.

"th-that's awful, name! i-i don't...gah, i don't know what to say...but it's okay to cry. don't be embarrassed. if it makes you feel better, i...you're really pretty, okay? it's no wonder you win all the time. just because you're getting older doesn't mean you'll be less pretty," saburo can't stop himself from speaking faster than his mind can deliver coherant thoughts. "maybe you can be a model, or an idol? you might be too pretty for those, but that's something else you can try to get into..."

he's relieved to hear a huff a laughter sounding through your crying. knowing you're listening to his senseless rambling is reassuring somehow. saburo leans back to brush your hair from your face, feeling a burn in his heart at the sight of your tears. you can't meet his eyes just yet, but just looking at you helps him collect his thoughts a little better.

"i'm sorry you're feeling this way," he begins, unsure. "i...i know i'm not the best at this, but i want to help."

you're reduced to sniffles now. you've had plenty of experience with drying up your tears within minutes; it's a habit to keep yourself steady. saburo watches you with shy eyes, yearning to help but unsure of how to go about it. your usual saburo. seeing his concern for you makes you smile.

"you really think i'm pretty?" your voice is raspy, but your tone is light. saburo nods earnestly, eager to comfort you. his lips curl up slightly when you smile wider, your eyes tearing up from relief. "you'll still like me when i'm older? when...when we're twenty?"

"definitely." says saburo, catching your drift. he's glad to go along with it, as long as it makes you smile. "i might even like you until we're thirty."

"thirty? that's a lifetime away!" you exclaim, laughing gently. saburo is pleased with the sound. courageously he ducks down to rest his chin on your head, pulling your head into his chest. eventually, he feels your arms wrap around him, just as tightly.

"we'll just have to stay together until then. to test out that theory." saburo states matter-of-factly. "so cheer up already."

your smile is gentle against his embrace. "sure thing."

#saburo yamada #hypmic imagines #hypnosis mic imagines #hypnosis microphone imagines #hypnosis microphone #hypnosis mic #hypmic #saburo is babey. that is all

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panharmonium · 3 years

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@dreamersscape please forgive me for tagging you in a post to respond to your comments; tumblr’s reply feature is hard to have an extended/coherent conversation on, and I’m so excited to talk to a kindred Naruto spirit that I knew I was gonna write too much for it all to fit in that space XD

re: hinata - Oh my gosh, YES, my sister and I were so frustrated by how they just completely never addressed that moment again. I wasn't surprised, because it's been clear from the beginning that this show doesn't really care much about women, so the female characters' storylines getting dropped or never explored in the first place is pretty much what I've always expected, but it's still infuriating.

Honestly, the only good thing about this show's general disinterest in women is that it means that I don't place any blame on in-story Naruto for never addressing what Hinata did for him, because I know the fact that we don't see him dealing with her confession isn't actually intended to communicate anything about his reaction/non-reaction/level of investment; it's literally just a function of the fact that the writer doesn't care about her story. It's the same way I feel about how we see so much less one-on-one time between Kakashi and Sakura - her lack of screentime with him isn't something about which a person can credibly argue "Oh, this means Kakashi doesn't care about her enough and he's a bad teacher etc etc," because the imbalance isn’t a deliberate writing decision we're supposed to analyze for characterization. It's a reflection of the fact that the entire show is super sexist. XD

re: danzo: It’s one thing to have your villain believe himself to the hero of his own story, and like, another to have Danzo basically tout having darkness in your heart being a great thing and encouraging it’s presence/cultivating it - lmao YES! And honestly, this is why I actually find Danzo LESS infuriating than the Third Hokage. Like, Danzo is Super Evil and every time he exploits another child I want to watch him die all over again, but at least he like....owns his horribleness? Whereas Hiruzen is the biggest hypocrite on the planet - when I rewatched the Shonen Jump stuff a while back (my sister and I took a little break prior to Season 11 and rewatched some old stuff), I couldn't stand listening to Hiruzen go on and on about how the entire Leaf Village is his family and it's his role to protect all of them etc etc, because like - he literally covered up the genocide of Sasuke's entire family and let the perpetrator remain in power (and that was before I even knew about all these other crimes he allowed to go unpunished!!!) Danzo may be the Worst, but at least he's not pretending to be anything other than what he is. Hiruzen is still acting like he's everybody's sweet old grandpa, and that makes me even more angry than Danzo's straight-up horribleness. (And I do agree with you, they definitely lean harder into the "Lord Third is amazing" stuff pre-Shippuden, I just still feel confused about what the show is ultimately trying to say about him because we haven't gotten an explicit enough condemnation of his choices yet, and I feel like it's way overdue XD )

re: minato - Hard agree that Minato is an enigma. I don't feel like I fully understand him either - and not in a bad way, just in the sense that he's hard to read. The toughest thing for me to parse was always how distant he seemed with his students, which was surprising to me at first, because he'd been built up as sort of this "ideal shinobi" figure for such a long time, but to me, an ideal shinobi teacher looks more like...well, Kakashi, to be honest. And it took a while for me to reconcile with the fact that Minato and Kakashi really do just relate to their students very differently. I think Minato has always been a soldier, and I think he sees children as soldiers, too - not in an evil way at all, just in the sense that this is how the shinobi world works, and how it has always worked. It's not a "wrong" way to perceive shinobi kids, in the context of the story's universe. And so when things happen to those kids, he absolutely cares, but it's also sort of just a grim fact of life for him. It's like when Kushina tells him she doesn't want to make Naruto a jinchuriki, and she asks 'why do we have to do that to him, why does he have to suffer that way for the sake of the balance of power between nations,' and Minato's response is “Because our family is Shinobi.” That was a really telling moment for me in terms of how he sees the world. It's not something I'm interested in condemning him for, like you said; I don't think the story is ever asking us to do that, it’s just a philosophy that's very different from how Kakashi sees things and what he thinks children's experiences should be like.

I guess what I ultimately think (from the material we’ve seen so far, at least) is that Minato seems to perceive the loss of his students as something that Kakashi is struggling with, not something he himself is agonizing over. It’s a very sad thing that happened, of course, but it’s just part of the way their world works/a function of the times they live in. It's not something Minato is tormenting himself about. Whereas I think that if Kakashi ever lost a kid, it would have killed him. And I don't think this fact is in any way supposed to paint Minato as a bad person. He's not! All it means is that there is a generational difference between the world Kakashi and Co. are trying to create and the world Minato always knew, and people like Minato are doing the best they can with the framework they have.

I do like the guy a lot - and I wonder what he might have been like if he had lived to see a permanent peace established.

re: little Yamato - oh boy, those episodes nearly ended me. I am already very, very, VERY weak for Kakashi and Yamato’s friendship, and seeing Kakashi rescue Yamato from that horrible place (literally and metaphorically) was too much for me to handle. Kakashi’s silhouette replacing Danzo in Yamato’s memories of being rescued from Orochimaru’s lab - that slew me. And the way Danzo tells Yamato “you have no past, no future, no name” juxtaposed with Kakashi introducing Yamato as Tenzo because he remembers from three years ago how Yamato once rebelled at being called Kinoe and yelled “MY NAME IS TENZO” - Kakashi just using that chosen name without hesitation, without question, without needing to be told...it all ties back into the recent thematic throughline the show is working with about Identity - the importance of the Tailed Beasts having names, Kabuto’s desperate and misguided search for “who and what he is,” Itachi reclaiming his true self by undoing the reanimation justu and declaring “I am Itachi Uchiha of the Leaf Village,” Obito claiming that his real name doesn’t matter anymore, that he’s Nobody...it’s fantastic how they’re pulling all this together.

re: Kakashi and little Naruto - oh man, the feelings. I agree with you that Kakashi was in no place to be dealing with this, but certainly under different circumstances I think he would have loved to be a part of baby Naruto’s life. I actually think the reasoning behind “let’s put Kakashi in a situation where he’s in close contact with someone bringing new life into the world” is sound - I think that would be a really good thing for him! Just not in the sense of “you’re Kushina’s personal bodyguard, so if anything happens to her and the baby you can blame yourself for it.” XD Like...Minato could have invited Kakashi in for dinner sometimes, instead of having him constantly stand guard under their window??? If it had been more “we care about you and we want you to be a part of our family”....ugh, that would have been amazing. Kakashi is already SO good with Naruto (who is NOT by any means an easy kid to manage) - he just has such good instincts about how to talk to that kid and teach him in ways that work WITH Naruto’s particular brand of high motivation/low frustration tolerance, ping-pong emotional extremes, explosive energy levels, zero impulse control, and an inability to process more than one thing at a time. Handling Naruto effectively would be a challenging project for any teacher, never mind taking care of Naruto and two other kids, but Kakashi is a natural at it. It would have been awesome to see what Kakashi was like with Naruto when they were even younger...though the Feels might knocked me out.

[also, you mentioned Naruto and Obito - I cannot even tell you the Extremest Agonies I was in when the big reveal happened and I had to hear Naruto blankly go “who is he” - utterly clueless, without the faintest idea that he’s looking at the person who shaped his entire moral philosophy. The amount of things that these kids don’t know...that fact that Naruto has been quoting this very person all his life and making all his major life decisions based on the lesson Kakashi relayed to them on Day One - Obito’s words - oh boy oh boy I was not capable of handling that even the littlest bit.]

#*high fives your brain right back*#feel free to gush about this show anytime - i am right there with ya! :D #replies #naruto #pan watches naruto

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shaolin-spin-doctor · 3 years

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a Very Heated Battle of The Realms review

No spoilers:

It was bad. Really bad.

Scorpion's Revenge wasn't a masterpiece by any means, but it was good enough to get me hyped for this movie. Eye-catching style, outstanding animation and an interesting enough story to get you hooked despite its overall lack of depth - if the first installment could have all these things, surely the sequel would improve on them and be even better, right? Right????

Wrong.

This movie sucks. Sure, the first few minutes are entertaining, if pretty uninspired, CageBlade is cute, and the Subzero / Scorpion subplot in and of itself is actually pretty decent, but it fails in pretty much every other aspect - most of the characters are barely even... well, characters, the plot feels all over the place, the fights are short and uninteresting, the animation is lackluster... And the ending. Oh my god, the ending. I want to know who in their right mind looked at that and said "yep, seems about right!". The rest of the movie had been whatever-ish, but it completely lost me at that point. Some Annihilation level bullshit, I'm telling you.

All in all... Only watch this movie if you want some background noise, are drunk with a couple of friends, want to see some mindless violence for an hour and 20 minutes, or are a subscorp shipper and can ignore everything else in favor of their scenes. If you aren't in any of those categories, please spare yourself the headache and don't even look at it. Forget it exists. It's not worth it, not one bit.

As a side note that has nothing to do with the base movie itself, if you're a Spanish speaker and are thinking of watching the Latin American dub... Don't. Please don't. The audio mixing is disgusting and whoever directed the voice actors didn't even try, so everyone's bored and unenthusiastic all the time and it really just makes an already unimpressive experience worse. If you really need to watch this, do it in English for your own sake.

Spoilers:

LISTEN. I swear this has nothing to do with Lao getting murdered. Y'all know I was fully prepared for it to happen, and was not surprised at all when his was the most brutal death in the entire movie. In fact, I was actually kind of excited (sad, too. but still excited), since the whole thing up until that point had been a complete drag and I was sincerely hoping we'd get some actual action from it. Sadly, it was not the case, and instead Liu Kang got a Dragon Ball Super level powerup... and whatever the FUCK the ending was. Legitimately, I screamed when he turned into a dragon - I wanted it to happen, but in a BADASS way, like the games, y'know? Instead we got... that, and I think my father said it best when he described his presence as a "dying asthmatic shrimp". aND SHINNOK?? WHAT THE FUCK?? I fully believed his appearance was gonna be setup for a subsequent movie, ESPECIALLY when Shao Kahn grabbed Kitana - i thought he was gonna kill her at first, and then we'd have the main group of revenants (sans Liu Kang) for Shinnok to call upon, and I was kind of hopeful that perhaps they would explore them better in the future and give us the Legends version of mkx or something like that - but he ended up just. being a Big Evil Monster. His defeat was so stupid, too?? Idek man I can't even begin to describe how dumb and nonsensical and pathetic the whole ending was. Legitimately one of the worst endings for any movie I've ever seen in my entire life, not even kidding.

L/iutana came out of NOWHERE. I adore this ship with my life, but it was so poorly set up i was left absolutely flabbergasted when they kissed. What the fuck? Cageblade was okay because of the setup in the previous movie and the little development the two had in this one, but L/iutana was just. God. Legitimately. If you aren't even going to bother writing a romance in a slightly believable way or give it any development, why bother writing it at all????

Speaking of Liu, I don't know about you, but I didn't connect with him at all here???? See, he's supposed to be the protagonist, but he gets barely any development and his spotlight is constantly being stolen by Scorpion and Subzero. Yes, I know he's just as flat in the original games and he's only began developing his own personality fairly recently, but you had so much potential for him, both as a person and with the potential lore attached to him. Why did the Tarkatans kill his family? Why did he get a random powerup and managed to lift Shang Tsung's "curse" (which, by the way, was completely pointless), which only Raiden was supposed to be able to heal? The only thing I liked about him was his chemistry with Raiden, who is also one of the only few highlights of this movie for me, and everything else... Nothing, really. Hell, he doesn't even talk to Kung Lao ONCE. For a man he's supposed to consider his brother, you'd think they'd have at least a single scene of them together - at least as a way to display their bond, if the writers really didn't want to give them any real character traits aside from "good guys with pure hearts" - but no. That's partly why Lao's death didn't carry any weight - yes, it didn't lead to anything, but it hadn't been set up at all, either. Same with Stryker. He was just a guy who happened to get involved, said two lines, and then died. He had no real relationship with anyone in the group, so his death was completely unimportant, and really, if he had just vanished, just like those rain clouds that appeared to soak Liu after Raiden's death for like 2 seconds before going away without a trace right in the next sequence, I probably wouldn't have even noticed.

Really, he, Lao and Smoke might as well have been cut, and it wouldn't have made any difference. It's sad.

All in all... I didn't like this movie at all, except for a very few things here and there. I know it's supposed to be Mortal Kombat, and people are always gonna defend it by saying the story doesn't matter, but... Why shouldn't it? Why can't we have a good Mortal Kombat story with better thought out plotlines and characters? And if we can't have that, why can't we at least have coherent fights? This movie had a lot of potential, and it was just tossed out the window. I'll be salty about this for a while.

#i could go on and on about it but it's getting late so I'll just leave it at that #Mortal Kombat #chat in the hat #If you liked it. I'm happy for you!! It's great to hear that you were able to find enjoyment in it #but personally. nah man

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 3 years

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Dee Little Snake

Series Summary: Janus uses age regression as a way to destress but has little control over it whenever he grows upset. Trying to keep a secret like that can be hard when you’re only four years old, and thus family bonding ensues in a way nobody expected, least of all Deceit.

Chapter 4: Safe at Night

Chapter summary: Patton can't sleep and Dee doesn't want to, so Logan offers a solution to fix at least one of their problems.

Warnings: mild angst, if there's more please let me know.

Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @a-different-s1de @emo--nightmare

General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @logans-library @im-an-anxious-wreck

WC: 2,358

Pulling just so to settle his sweater sleeves in their usual knot against his collar bones, Patton shut his door quietly and continued down the hall. It was late, almost eleven at night, and Patton knew if anyone caught him awake at this hour they’d call him a hypocrite. He and Logan were constantly nagging the others to get to bed earlier- Patton admittedly less so just because he knew how easy it was to accidentally binge Parks and Rec into the wee hours of the morning. Shaking his head he decided it didn’t matter, as long as he was quiet no one would notice anyway.

He stopped outside Virgil’s room, the darkness beneath it not really telling him whether he was awake or not. Too often had he peeked in to check on him so find him sitting up with a blanket over his shoulders and his headphones on, scaring the daylights out of Patton the first few times seeing nothing but Virgil’s pale, spooked face streaked with leftover eyeshadow shining through the darkness. He hadn’t done it as much lately because of- well everything that was going on. He figured if he looked in and Virgil was asleep he wouldn’t want to ruin what little rest he got with how tense things had been.

With that depressing thought he turned to see Roman’s door a little ways down the hall. He hadn’t been coming out much lately, seeming to prefer the company of whatever magical entities he came up with in his world rather than what he could find in the common room. And that was...fine. It was completely fine, of course it was! They all needed a bit of a break every now and again and he couldn’t expect every member of his family to want to be around him all the time.

Except that it had been a few weeks since he had had his meltdown; a few weeks since he had gone back on everything he had ever known to be right and accepted De- Janus- into their lives completely and agreed to work with him rather than actively against him. And he knew- he knew how Roman must have taken it. How many times had he been confused about something but forged ahead anyway because everyone had seemed to need him to have the answers? He was the dad, of course he had answers! But then- those answers had changed as they had grown and earned experience and knowledge but was too stubborn to change along with it, so too then Roman had been. Roamn had had his world view flipped just as much as Patton had but Roman had trusted Patton’s insistence that he knew all the answers- and even when he began to admit he didn’t he remained resolute that there were things you just knew- and still Roman trusted that. Now that was wrong, so was Patton, and the one person Patton had always said did nothing but deceive he now knew was one to trust. But Roman was past trusting him, and after so many years Patton really couldn’t blame him.

He realized then how unsettling it would look for him to be simply standing in the middle of the hallway, motionless with a deep frown lining his face. Shaking off the melancholy he brought his hands to his face and rubbed up and down a bit more roughly than was necessary, standing his bangs on end but it fit the late hour so he supposed it didn’t matter. He glanced at Logan’s door but the more responsible side would most definitely be asleep by now so he didn’t even bother stopping, determined to make it to the kitchen to get a glass of water and maybe even cocoa before trying to turn in for the night. He could worry about his kiddos when he could string together more than two coherent thoughts that didn’t end with him feeling like he shouldn’t leave his bed for the next ten years at least.

He was going to walk past Janus’ room but paused and cocked his head to listen better. A faint tune could just barely be heard through the door though Patton couldn’t place what it could be. Was Janus playing music? Could he not sleep either? Maybe he’d be willing to join him in the kitchen for a late night snack if he wasn’t too tired; Patton could definitely use the company with the way his thoughts were straying tonight. Stepping closer so his feet were almost right up against the door jam he could see a very faint, warm light shining underneath, He leaned in and held his breath, straining to try and hear whatever it was that was playing. What he heard however only confused him further.

A child’s voice was singing a soft, wordless tune that didn’t seem to have any inspiration behind; just something simple seemingly to keep themselves occupied. Occasionally the tune would stop and they would mumble something he didn’t quite catch but then it would pick back up again just as quietly. Patton leaned away in confusion, sure that he recognized the voice but why-

Dee! Putting the pieces together only made him more confused. If Janus was regressed then why was he alone? And why was he still awake? From what he remembered Dee was only four so it was definitely way past his bedtime and more importantly he didn’t hear Virgil in with him, which definitely meant he was alone considering Virgil was constantly talking to Dee when they were together- much more than when Janus was out of little space but Patton suspected that was just something the’d eventually have to work out. Puffing his cheeks out he debated whether or not he should intrude. Dee was little, up late and alone but Patton had also only found out Janus regressed at all a few days ago and he honestly wouldn’t blame the kiddo if he didn’t fully trust him or want him around just yet, if he ever would at all. Virgil needed his rest, Roman was already mad at both him and Janus, Remus….well anyway- and he was ninety nine percent certain Logan would not be a side Dee would want to know about this.

The door cracked open before he could make up his mind, Dee’s fluffy curls making him smile even though he was internally panicking. Sure he was the more father oriented side but he didn’t know if he was actually good with kids last time he had just seen a crying child and wanted it to stop but this time he was the one almost in tears and he really didn’t want to cry in front of one of his kiddos when they were this small and-

A tiny hand slipping into his brought him out of his thought spiral and he found himself stumbling forward as Dee tugged insistently, leaving the door cracked behind them as he was led to a ring of stuffed animals surrounding a small electric candle. The smaller side let go and patted the space beside him as an offer to Patton, which he took somewhat nervously.

“I can’t do all the voices.” So saying he was handed a floppy stuffed elephant, the poor thing bending in the middle from lack of stuffing but certainly not from lack of hugs it had surely received. Dee picked up a stuffed tiger that was lying prone beside him, no doubt the one he had been playing with before he opened the door. It’s fur was a bit ratty and it was just as floppy as all of them seemed to be- in fact most of these seemed to be copies of Thomas’ old stuffed animals he had had growing up, finding a new purpose in his mind with his smallest side. Patton smiled at the thought of all their past friends finding new adventures with someone who clearly loved them just as much, running his thumbs over the elephants soft ears lovingly as he watched Dee get the tiger into position and begin moving it around in a strange sort of rhythm that looked like an odd sort of dance, picking up his previous humming with the most adorable look of concentration Patton had ever seen. The child looked up at him expectantly, making Patton realize he was probably meant to hum along to whatever performance the tiger was putting on for the rest of them.

Smiling softly he brought the elephant up and began making it dance, clearing his throat before humming quietly along with Dee. He really should be in bed but Patton was loath to ruin this moment. It was so peaceful- the electric candle flickered like a real flame and the lamp in the corner illuminated everything just enough to give the room a soft golden glow to it. The carpet was soft underneath him and the humming, nonsensical as it was, was soothing and just loud enough to remind him what he was doing. He wasn’t exactly sure what game they were playing but he didn;t mind not knowing the rules, happy to let Dee set the pace as he swayed from side to side with a small smile on his face. He wished so badly someone else was here to take a picture so he could keep this image in his head for the rest of his life, he didn’t remember Janus ever looking this content even when they were actually kids, and to see it now was as gut wrenching as it was heart melting.

“I don’t know what you’re listening to but if you could at least shut your door it would much apprecia-” Both of their heads snapped up, Dee immediately leaning back to hide most of his small frame behind Patton while said side clutched the elephant to his chest in panic. Logan stood still in the doorway, confusion clear on his face as he stepped in the room and shut the door behind him. “I didn’t mean to- I'm sorry, I can leave. I wasn’t aware-”

Dee poked his head out from behind Patton and waved, making Logan stop again mid-sentence to hesitantly wave back. Patton watched, still a bit tense, as Logan crouched down on the balls of his feet and smiled softly at the smaller side. “May I ask how old you are, Janus?”

“Dee!”

“I apologize, I’ll remember that from now on. May I ask how old you are, Dee?”

Patton smiled as Dee nodded vigorously, tiger still held tight to his chest as he held out four fingers. “I’m four!”

“A very good age to be, there are many milestones to achieve at four years old.”

“Milestones?”

“An action or event marking a significant change or stage in development.” Logan explained. “Most of those happen with a good night’s rest though. Why are you still awake?”

Dee looked down at the stuffed animals in front of his, rocking a little in place. “I wanted to play.”

“Activities like this are usually reserved for when it's daylight. Was there a reason you can’t play then?”

“Everyone else is awake.”

Patton set the elephant down gently. “You’re afraid someone will see you small if you play in the daytime huh?”

Logan pressed his lips together as Dee nodded, seeming to not want to elaborate. “Alright, that’s understandable. So Patton usually looks after you then?”

“No I just-”

“Vee! But he’s asleep.”

“Well, in the morning it might be a good idea then to talk to Virgil about how to better accommodate you during the day so that you can still play but not have to worry about anyone else walking in on. We might be able to square away a room for you or modify this one so that no one could enter without your permission, provided the door remains shut. How does that sound?”

“You could do that?” Dee’s eyes were enormous as he looked at Logan like he had just confirmed the moon was made of his favorite cheese.

Chuckling softly, the logical side adjusted his glasses. “Theoretically. But we need you well rested if we’re going to figure it out tomorrow.”

Patton smiled as Dee seemed to weigh his options, pouting slightly as he stood and made his way towards the bed. Turning off the candle and moving to set it on the night stand he reached for the blankets but stopped himself before he could do anything. “Do you want tucked in kiddo?”

Nodding shyly Dee laid back and clutched the tiger even tighter while wiggling into a comfortable position. Patton waited until he was done before grabbing up the thick comforter and carefully laying it over him, being sure to tuck it away from his face and loose enough that he could free his arms if he wanted. Smiling he squeezed Dee’s shoulder gently as his eyes drooped tiredly, moving towards the door that Logan was already easing open quietly.

“Goodnight, Dee.”

“Goodnight, Dee. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight. Love you.”

They both paused and looked back but the small side was already asleep, curled around his stuffed animal comfortably. Slipping out of the room Patton smiled at Logan’s small smile, which immediately turned questioning as Patton beamed back at him.

“What?”

“You like kids.”

Taken aback, Logan shook his head. “I just know some basic developmental needs and how to apply them. Liking has nothing to do with it.”

At Patton’s shit-eating grin, Logan rolled his eyes. “They’re pleasant enough to be around when they’re well-behaved.”

“So you-”

“Go to bed Patton.” Logan shook his head as he began to walk back to his room.

“I was gonna make cocoa before I saw Dee was awake. If you were having trouble sleeping I could make enough for both of us-” He let the offer hang as Logan stilled. He knew the other man secretly loved hot cocoa late at night for as much as he preached about proper sleeping schedules.

He smiled wider as Logan walked briskly past him down the stairs. “Just this once, to help us sleep.”

“Sure, Logan.”

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This work is also available on AO3!

If you liked this please consider reblogging. Reblogging helps share a creators work so others can see it too!

As far as this story goes, this is something I wrote as a one shot and didn't think people would be interested in but now I have seventeen chapters planned so thank you for the interest! Note that Roman and Janus will be on better terms at some point and also Remus also comes in later, and knowing that info if anyone has something they want to see happen (side hangouts, specific regression prompts anything like that), as long as it can be story relevant and it isn't plot heavy I'll happily add it!

I'll accept ideas up to Feb. 20 and you can comment them here, or send an ask, anon is always on! Thanks for reading ^-^

#false writes #dee little snake #janus sanders #agere sfw #sanders sides agere #age regression #patton sanders #logan sanders #mild angst #logan is really good with kids fight me

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ohpedromypedro · 4 years

Text

Under Arrest

A/N: Excited to finally know more about Maxwell’s character in WW84 so I incorporated some of the newly discovered info into this fic 💕

word count: 1.7k+

pairings: Maxwell Lord x f!Reader

warnings: smut, slight public sex, multiple orgasms, rough sex, unprotected sex, Papi kink, character arrests, etc

flashbacks in italics

Do you regret the decision you made just one hour prior to getting yourself handcuffed in the backseat of a police cruiser with Maxwell cuffed and seated right beside you? Absolutely not. And neither does Maxwell. The two of you were having an experience and honestly were so caught up in your antics that you weren’t even thinking about being caught. And then you were.

*One hour ago*

“Maxwell,” you slur, your head spinning from how much alcohol you already consumed during the course of the party in which you’re supposed to be attending. “I think…” hiccup. “I had a little too much whiskey.” You look up at your husband and he just shakes his head with a chuckle.

“I think we both have, preciosa.” He slurs right back, running his hand alongside your bare inner thigh. His cock is buried to the hilt inside your pulsating cunt and he has you pinned in the corner of a wall down one of the empty hallways of the building where this “grand” party is taking place, both of your legs wrapped firmly around his waist.

“Fuck, ‘m s-so full,” you gasp and hiccup in unison, a deep, low moan suddenly leaving your mouth when Maxwell pulls almost all the way out of you then thrusts right back in hard, slow enough that you feel each thick inch of his throbbing length. “Oh!”

“You sound so sexy when you moan like that for me.” He smirks, pressing his lips to your ear with a low grunt and growling out his drunken thoughts. “I guess my cock is just that big...so big that you can’t stay quiet with it buried so deep in that ever-so-tight cunt of yours.”

“Mmmm you just-” you gasp again. “Fuck me so good, Mr Lord.”

“I’m glad because I plan on fucking you this good for the rest of your life, Mrs Lord.” Maxwell teases, leaning forward to capture your lips with his own for a rough but passionate kiss, it being sort of sloppy by how drunk the two of you are, and moves his hips back and forth hard a few times. “I’d fuck you like this anywhere and everywhere possible in this building if I could.”

“Mmmm fuck, why not at least try s-some places?” You groan against his lips, moving your fingers to card through his hair. “We can end this party with a BANG.” You smirk.

“I like the way you think, joya preciosa.” Maxwell groans, starting to move his hips at a mind numbing pace. “We’ll finish here first and when you’re done cumming on my cock right here, I’m going to bring you over to that empty elevator and fuck some more cum out of your heavenly little cunt.”

“Oh please, Maxwell!” You cry out, head thrown back against the two corner walls you’re pinned against while your arms slip around Maxwell’s upper torso. “Fuck! I-I’m gonna cum so hard.”

“Yeah you are, princesa. You’re going to drench each inch of this cock until you have no cum left to give.” He growls, burying his face in the crook of your neck and sucking several dark bruises along your throat while he relentlessly thrusts in and out of you. He just loves leaving his mark on you as a reminder to everyone that you are his.

“Oh mmmmm, yeah!” You’re unable to speak coherent words at this point, Maxwell fucking you into a moaning, blabbering mess down this empty hallway.

Your eyes roll back the deeper he sends his cock, your nails digging into the fabric of his suit as your walls start squeezing him like a vice. If there weren’t any music playing in the large lounge area where the party is taking place, people would be bound to hear the moans he’s getting out of you.

“Listen to you, my hermosa esposa...so vocal from the many pleasures my cock gives you.” He nips at the shell of your ear, his lips pressed against it as he murmurs almost gutturally. “Cum for Papi, princesa. Give me everything.”

“Oh, Papi!” You cry out as you clench and cum around him, your legs tightening around his waist while your orgasm washes over you.

“That’s it, honey. Just like that.”

Maxwell keeps a firm hold on you as he continues fucking you through your high, his face buried against your neck. Grunts and growls escape him as he nears his own edge, his teeth sinking into the pulse point of your throat once his cock begins to twitch and he spills inside of you, his hips stilling right as he’s buried up to your cervix.

“Oh, Maxwell! F-Fuck yes, fill my t-tight little cunt!” You whimper your words as your grip on him grows even tighter, your head tilting to the side to grant him better access to your throat.

“Mmm buena niña. Happily taking Papi’s cum inside your pretty little cunt.”

“Mmhm...always willing to hold your seed deep in my womb.” You murmur, gasping when he pulls away from your throat to grab you by the chin.

“Yeah? You want me to fuck all my cum into your womb while I fuck all of yours from you?”

“Yes!” You whimper, your gaze locked on his as he forces you to look him in the eyes. “Please f-fuck me in the elevator and fill my cunt all over again.”

“Fuck, I love you, esposa.” He growls, pulling you away from the wall and carrying you over to the empty elevator, obviously not in use at the moment since it’s after hours for the building. He slams your back against the wall inside after the door closes and kisses you with fervor, his hips immediately resuming their previous movements and starting at an achingly hard pace.

“Fuck! Yes, Maxwell!” You moan into his mouth, your arms slipping around his neck so you can card your fingers through his hair and give him a heated kiss in return.

“Fucking love listening to you moan my name like that. Shouting it out as I fuck you so damn good my name is all you can even speak.” He rails at your sweetest of spots, groaning at the way your walls clench around him in response.

“Mmmmm Maxwell!”

“Exactly,” he rasps, moving his lips to go right into sucking marks onto the other side of your throat.

“Ooooh, Maxwell.”

“Keep saying it, bebita. Keep crying out your marido’s name as he fucks that cunt for more cum.” He kisses you again, repeatedly aiming for the spot he knows will trigger more of your cum. He just loves the way it feels coating the entirety of his length, even leaking onto his balls at times too. He really truly got lucky when he married you.

“I--cum!” You cry out, clenching around his cock once again. “Cum in me M-Maxwell!”

“Fuck,” he growls as you clench around him and trigger his release, your release arriving only moments after you feel his warm seed coating your womb.

“Maxwell!”

“Y/N,” he grunts, licking at the marks he left on your throat while riding out both your highs, your moans and whimpers echoing in the small space of the elevator.

You don’t even hear the elevator door open again and if you did you honestly wouldn’t have thought anything of it. Your head is reeling from the intensity of your second orgasm and you can practically hear the pulse of your heartbeat throbbing in your ears, your eyes fluttered shut while you catch your breath. It’s the sound of a throat clearing next that has both you and Maxwell snapping your heads toward the doorway of the elevator.

There stand a security guard and two cops right behind him, the three of them giving both of you looks that have you hiding your face in Maxwell’s chest.

“Maxwell Lord, why am I not surprised?” One of the officers states as he pulls out his handcuffs and dangles them in front of Maxwell’s face mockingly, a shot at the fact that he’s arrested Maxwell probably many times before for various other reasons. Maxwell’s glare would kill if it could and the one he’s giving the officer dangling cuffs in his face right now will definitely give that officer nightmares later. “You know what comes next, Maxwell.”

Now here you are, sitting in the back of the police cruiser of the arresting officers and being driven to the police station even though you know Maxwell is going to bail the both of you out as soon as you get there.

You’re right, he does. Hands his credit card right over while stating “And you can call my lawyer if there are any issues in bailing myself and my esposa out.” Man had everything perfectly planned out in his head before you even stepped foot in the station. Maxwell is filthy rich, not stupid. He knows what he’s doing. He has to, especially as the CEO of a family owned company.

“Don’t worry, Mr Lord, there won’t be any issues.” The bail bondsman, a woman looking to be nearing her sixties, gives Maxwell a tight smile and you can’t help but to inwardly snort. She’s so intimidated by a man of such power and riches, yet doesn’t realize that behind closed doors with his family, he is the most loving and protective man you could ever know.

“Thank you, Dolores. I couldn’t thank you enough.” Maxwell shoots his signature cocky CEO smirk before slipping his arm around your waist and leading the two of you outside, immediately calling his driver to pick the both of you up. He looks at you and sighs after ending the call, slipping his arms around your waist and pulling you flush against him. “I’m sorry to have gotten you arrested, my joya preciosa.”

“Oh stop it,” you chuckle, rubbing your hands over his chest and shaking your head with a smile. “We got ourselves arrested. You didn’t do anything, love. What you did was bail us out and now we can go home to our children and relieve the babysitter of her duties.”

“I love you. Truly you’ve made me one lucky man. You love my son as if he were your own and you blessed me with a beautiful little girl.”

“A spoiled one,” you smile up at Maxwell, your fingers nimbly straightening his tie. “I love you, our son and our beautiful daughter more than you could ever imagine, Maxwell Lord. Always.”

“Mi reina,” he whispers as his thumb traces your cheekbone, your cheeks flushing from him calling you his queen.

“Tu reina,” you breathe, sighing in content when he kisses you again for the first time since you got arrested.

He holds you in his arms with his lips attached to yours just like this until the driver arrives, content himself with how the night played out. You two truly bring out each other’s wild side.

Everything: @halefirewarrior @takemepedropascal @wildcard566 @readsalot73 @talesfromtheguild @snazzyjazzy6 @oberynispunk @whiskeyxinxaxteacup @pedrosdoll @ah-callie

I will do a Maxwell fic taglist for anyone who would like to be tagged in my Maxwell fics! Or if you prefer to be on the everything taglist, then let me know and I’ll add you. 💕

#maxwell lord x reader #maxwell lord x y/n #maxwell lord x you #maxwell lord smut #maxwell lord fanfiction #maxwell lord #ww84 #pedro pascal #nsft #writing #my writing #ohpedromypedro

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iwriteforthetincanman · 4 years

Text

Mandoctober Day 11: Sorgan

A/N: I went off the deep end with this one folks! This also acts as I part two to day 4: Nevarro. Thank you for reading! Also I may have drawn inspiration from one of @dindjarindiaries writings at the beginning of this with Ad’ika’s eating habits. :3

Warnings: angst, self deprecation, sadness (lil anxiety) hurt and comfort, fluff and a hint of spice at the end

This is for @leo-moon ‘s Mandoctober!!

Another place Din didn’t think they’d ever return to was Sorgan. It had been a while since they had last visited, before Din had met you at least. After what took place on Nevarro there had been a little distance between the both of you, but not enough to cause concern.

Din had admitted to himself and to you (whilst you were asleep) that he was deeply and utterly in love with you, forevermore. What the both of you didn’t know was that whatever was about to take place next was going to change both of your lives...forever.

As cliche as that sounded, you had a job to do.

Feeding the child was as mundane as things could get around the Razor Crest, but he sometimes made it interesting. Whilst you weren’t looking he managed to sneak three extra berries by floating them into his mouth with his special powers. The only way you knew this had happened were the purple stains on his face, the one that you had just wiped clean.

“Ad’ika, you know you’re not supposed to eat more than I give, you might get a tummy ache.” Chastising the kid gently, you plucked him out of his high chair, making your way to the cockpit.

---

Din had been as strict as usual, Mandalorian style. Don’t communicate with anyone suspicious or unnecessary, Don’t contact me unless absolutely necessary and last of all, don’t do anything stupid. These were all the rules you had to abide by just to go unnoticed on each and every planet your feet touched. He reminded you so often it was like it had become your version of the creed.

What Din didn’t tell you was that there was a village on this planet where everyone knew him. Apparently the last time he visited he had helped save the village from being practically destroyed by thugs. So when they saw him again, they weren’t only surprised (which is what you were expecting) but they also celebrated. Alot.

There was dancing, music, drinks and lots of food. You could stay here for a couple of weeks, Din had told you. It was safe enough for now. This whole experience had been a clear juxtaposition of what the Mandalorian told you. It broke the rules, you didn’t know why he did this.

That is...until you met her.

Omera.

When you first met her, you should have sensed something between them just by the way she practically ran over at the sight of him. Over time, you realised that Din knew her better than the other villagers of Sorgan. Then it started to scare you how close they were. She gave him food, cared for the child and kept him company.

It was like you weren’t even there. Either he didn’t care as much as you thought he did or...you really weren’t needed.

Not right now at least.

That night you watched as the villagers danced around the campfire, so happy and content with their lives. A new song started to play, this time husbands started to bring their wives into the circle, bringing them close as they swayed slowly. You would’ve smiled at the heart warming sight if it weren’t for one thing…

Omera holding her hand out to Din.

It felt like someone was ripping your heart from out of your chest and crushing it into dust right in front of you. If he chose to dance with her you knew you never had a chance with him...probably from the beginning.

Were all these emotions you felt over the past couple of years a figment of your imagination? It was insane how stupid you felt in that moment. Feeling tears pricking at your eyes just went and proved that thought...all you could do was get up and walk as quick as you could, away from the gut wrenching scene.

You didn’t want to cause a fuss, despite all these conflicting thoughts and feelings.

---

Crying your eyes out didn’t seem like the best solution at first.

Hidden amongst the boxes in the hold, you tried to will yourself to stop. It felt like your heart wouldn’t cooperate with your brain. Din hadn’t even done anything to you specifically and he had managed to tear your heart in two. It could’ve been worse…

Who are you kidding? All of today had been a perfect recipe for disaster.

Omera had known Din longer than you had...did you even have a chance against her? She was beautiful, capable and she was already a mother. To you, she was everything you weren’t.

And Din Djarin...you could never say a bad word about him. You had recklessly fallen for him, not even thinking twice about the consequences. If another person hadn’t gotten between you two it would’ve been something else, with him being a Mandalorian, he could’ve gone on a hunt, leaving you and the child only to never return.

Yeah...that could be the ‘worse’ option.

Seeing him die in front of you? That was a close second.

Dying in his place? ...you would do it in a heartbeat.

Even now, thinking your heart had died in that one evening, you knew you would still do that.

“What are you doing down there?”

In the midst of your self deprecation you hadn’t even noticed Din standing in the middle of the Crest. Startling out of your stupor, you got to your feet, wiping your tears away rapidly.

“W-Where’s the kid?” You sniffled. No matter how much wiping away you did, you knew Din had spotted the tear tracks.

“He’s fine...he’s with Omera.” Just the very sound of her name on his lips almost caused you to cry out in pain. It was like he had directed a knife right at your heart.

Seeing your face crumple like that, Din had no clue what was going on. After he had refused Omera’s offer to dance, he turned to you only to see you practically running into the woods. Wondering what on Sorgan you were doing, he followed. He would follow you anywhere, really.

“She’s...she’s an amazing mother.” In an attempt to compliment her, you tried to keep yourself together. Of all things to happen, you didn’t want to lose your composure in front of Din over something so...foolish.

“Why were you crying?”

It wasn’t a question of if you had been crying, he already knew that, he just wanted to know why. Of course...you couldn’t tell him the truth! Not without admitting the intense series of feelings you had for him!

“I-I was upset...about the dancing.” What. The. Kriff. Was. That? Of all the excuses you could’ve come up with? You went with the dancing? Well, it was partly true in a sense.

“The dancing? What was wrong with the dancing?” Upon asking this question, you really looked at him. Even in all his beskar clad glory, you couldn’t help hearing how quiet his tone was. Did he always talk like that or was it just with you? Taking a breath, you answered.

“I...don’t know how.” Now that...that was a whole truth.

Even if you had been upset over Din’s choice in dancing partner, you had no clue how to even approach the subject of dancing, let alone with another person.

“...I could teach you, if you like?”

...You weren’t expecting that. But how could you refuse?

Stepping closer towards the bounty hunter, you gave him a small smile.

“I’d like that very much Djarin.” Hearing a chuckle at the use of his last name, you grinned. Hearing him laugh was always a rare experience, knowing you caused that kind of joy? Sent you over the moon.

Just the touch of his gloves brushing against your spine as he pulled you closer was the cause of many impure thoughts racing through your head. Scolding yourself internally, you let out a shaky sigh, awaiting his next move.

“Usually the guy leads and since I know how to dance and you don’t...seems like a good idea.” A laugh peppered his words as he placed one of your hands in his, leaving the other around your waist. Thinking back to the villagers, you remembered how the women placed their other hand on their partner’s shoulder.

Mimicking the action, you felt like you had drifted somewhat closer to one another, if that were even possible.

“If you listen hard enough you can hear the music coming from the village...it kinda echoes off the trees.” Doing as he said, you closed your eyes, intently listening out for the soft hum of dainty instruments as the notes thrummed through the forest.

“...it does.” You giggled lightly at the observation. Wondering how, even with the helmet on, he caught on to all these little details regarding the common senses. Sight, sound, smell, taste and...touch.

It felt like his hand prints were burning through your skin, despite the extra layers. This was the closest you had ever been to the Mandalorian, armor or not. Wounds or not. This felt so...so intimate.

“Now, it’s okay if you step on my feet the first couple of times, but it's a simple pattern so you’ll get used to it after a couple of minutes.” Minutes? He was going to dance with you for longer than a single song?

“S-Sure thing.” Stumbling over your words, you tried to gain a grip on yourself. The need for coherent thought struck you as he began to sway. Tripping over your own feet, you realised how difficult it was to do this whilst keeping your eyes on Mando. All the couples made it look so easy. That was when something Mando had said came crashing back to you.

“Wait...you said you already knew how to dance? Who taught you?” You didn’t know what you were expecting him to say as he took a moment to collect his words but you guessed that someone in the covert had taught him for fun. Instead...he opened up to you.

“My mother taught me.” Those words were spoken so quietly yet it was almost as if he had yelled them into your mind. Just the image of a little Din standing on top of his mother’s feet as

they swayed around their home brought a fresh batch of tears to your eyes.

“You’ve...You’ve never talked about her before…” Trailing off, you didn’t expect him to tell you more. You didn’t need him to, you knew how sensitive the subject of his parents was. You would never make him feel uncomfortable for your own personal gain.

“You remind me of her...sometimes.” This sentence was an attempt to knock you off of your feet altogether as you glanced down, a furious blush kidnapping your features as you faked a hurried look at your feet.

“...how so? If you don’t mind me asking that is.” You would ask, but if he didn’t want to go further. Further than this...a simple dance lesson yet it was so much more. If he didn’t want to tell you about his mother, one of the people who meant the most in the galaxy to him besides the child...perhaps besides you. You were completely fine with that.

“I don’t mind you asking questions Y/N...it’s one of the many qualities I like about you.” The combination of the words ‘I’, ‘like’ and ‘you’ filled you with an overwhelming urge to hug him. Restraining yourself, you chose to grin at him, shyly albeit.

“My mother was curious, kind, forgiving yet fierce in the way she loved those around her. It showed through in the many ways she cared for me and my father. I remember asking her one night how they met, she told me that the scenario of that night was predictable up until the point where she saw him through the crowd. I remember the look in her eyes when she recalled ‘It was like the galaxy was pushing us towards one another’ she said. I remember...at the time, I yearned for something like that to happen to me one day...although it was a childish dream I know now.”

“It’s not childish to yearn for love Din.” You couldn’t help your outburst, biting your lip, you refused to meet his gaze. That helmet may have deemed an unforgiving message to others but to you, it was him. You had refused to face the facts for so long now...no matter how true they were, but you were...you are so utterly in love with him. The Mandalorian.

“You sound like you’re talking from experience.” He hummed, letting out a bitter chuckle you faced him with a forced smile.

“I always seem to fall for those who have already fallen...for someone else it seems.” The overwhelming sadness was threatening to overtake you once more. You didn’t want to cry...not in front of him. Not after this wonderful pick me up, the feel of the beskar against you, all you wanted to do was rest your head on his shoulder and dance the rest of the night away.

“-Are you...are you in love with somebody right now?” The daring request shocked you. Sure, you had learnt a lot about Din tonight, you knew you refused to tell him your true feelings in the past but...you couldn’t seem to lie to him in this moment. This bittersweet yet perfect moment.

“...Yes.” The force of air that left your lips was inhuman in a way...like you had stopped breathing. At this point you hadn’t even realised how effortlessly you had been dancing with the Mandalorian. Not until he brought you to a complete stop, the music carrying on through the wind.

“I...I think that despite how often I tried to remind myself that love wasn’t in the cards for me...that I wasn’t worth that kind of sacrifice...I fell in love. What I didn’t expect was for it to hurt...Din, it hurts so kriffing much and I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to leave you and the kid so I can run away from the pain.” You were crying now...brilliant.

“Why? Why would you talk about leaving? Ever?” You could hear his breathing now, it was heavy and gasping, like he had been dunked in ice cold water. You hated to imagine the look on his face that went with the sound of his voice. It broke your heart all over again.

“Because Din...I fell in love with you and I didn’t even think twice about it. About how you could go on a job and not come back, you could get killed right in front of me, leaving me to care for the kid alone or...or you could already be in love with someone else.” A sob bubbled up into your chest and it pained you to keep it there...not as much as this though.

“What are you talking about?”

“You and Omera!”

The scream of this dragged itself around the edges of the Razor Crest, leaving you a heaving mess due to the effort. Through the tears you realised you had ripped yourself away from him, his hands were held in mid air...he was reaching out for you.

“I’m...I’m not in love with Omera.”

His voice pierced your heart in the complete opposite result of tonight’s events.

“What?” This time you were completely and utterly confused, tears beginning to dry. Slowly, the Mandalorian approached you, noticing the way he wrung his hands it was obvious...he was nervous.

“Do you know what ‘Ni kar’tayli gar darasuum’ means cyar’ika?” At the nickname he frequently called you, your heart warmed despite your lack of knowledge towards Mando’a.

“No? ...But why do I feel like I’ve heard those words before.” Crinkling your forehead in confusion, you wracked your brain for where you had heard those words before. You may not know what they mean but you knew they were important. Infinitely important.

“...Probably because I’ve said them before.” His helmet was hanging now, the lip of it pressed against his chest as he stared at his own feet.

“...Din, please tell me what they mean.” Stepping closer to him this time, you pressed your hands to his chest. Refusing to meet your gaze, the quiet intensified by tenfold, loaded with tension.

“Din Djarin...please.” Resting a hand on the cheek of his helm, you raised his head so he knew how serious you were.

“They mean…’I hold you in my heart forever’...it’s the Mandalorian way of saying I love you.” He may have whispered these powerful words but it felt like he had stolen your breath. You wanted to kiss him, gods above you did. Instead, his arms wrapped around you once more and he pressed the forehead of his helm to yours.

“How could you ever think I was in love with something else when I’ve only ever had eyes for you? I’ve been pining after you for months on end, wondering if there was even a possibility that you could love someone like me in return.” These words may have been softly spoken but they scorched a way into your heart as you pressed against him in return.

“Din Djarin, a fearless bounty hunter and Mandalorian...do I make you nervous?” You joked a blush still fresh on your features.

“...Extremely cyar’ika.” Biting your lip once more, a pleasant sensation rang through your body at the sound of his voice lowering.

“Are you ever going to tell me what that one means?” Fluttering your eyelashes up at him, you attempted to flirt.

“Darling, sweetheart.”

“That was two different words?”

“It means either and both at the same time. Mando’a is complicated.” He shrugged under your palms.

“What about...cyare?” You tested the word on your tongue only to gain a shiver under your fingertips. Knowing that Din felt the same way made you the happiest person on Sorgan. But learning that your words affected him just as much as his bewitched you? It sent stars into your brain.

“Beloved.”

At the dangerously low pitch he emitted, you knew you were in for a long night.

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a-solitary-marshmallow · 3 years

Text

Rewind Chapter 1 - Oops

In Ppleater's '1 Step Forward, 20 Steps Back', when Stan is de-aged he retains his adult memories. What if this wasn't the case...?

(my take on Smol Stan) (The storyline is different to Ppleater's version, I'm not trying to copy it)

____________________________________________________________

“I’m giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life and you won’t even listen!”

The yell echoed through the huge, barren underground lab, bouncing off the frame of an interdimensional portal and smacking its unsuspecting recipient right in the face. Stan fumed, indignation pouring through his blood like wildfire and setting his teeth on edge. What right did Stanford have to decide that? He had no idea what Stan had been doing over the last decade! Stan had kept himself alive. Was that not worthwhile?

Maybe not. Ford had just called and Stan had come running, dropping his current moneymaking scheme to get there as fast as possible. Stan had driven across the country at the drop of a hat to help his twin.

And now he was in Ford’s stupid basement, holding Ford’s stupid book, having his hopes and dreams once again crushed. He should have known better than to hope. Stanley Pines wasn’t allowed to hope. He wasn’t allowed to be safe or have comfort or a home. Stanley Pines was the worthless twin and, apparently, Ford had finally accepted that.

“Well, listen to this!” Stan fumbled in his coat for the lighter that he knew was there; Ford glared at him, not listening, but oh he would listen. Stan would make him. “You want me to get rid of this book? Fine, I’ll get rid of it right now!”

Stan could see the moment Ford noticed the lighter – the moment his brother’s expression turned from fury to abject horror, his bloodshot eyes widening, lunging forward even before a yell tore from his throat.

“No!” He wrenched the journal from Stan’s hands, clutching it protectively to his chest. Stan was about to grab it back but Ford’s next words stopped him dead. “You don’t understand!”

And – yeah, that tracked. Stanley Pines, resident ignoramus, not understanding something. Story of his life. Ford was curled around his stupid book that he’d wanted to get rid of just a few seconds ago, glaring. The book that apparently was worth more to him than his own brother. And Stan – was the idiot who didn’t understand. Oh yes, the status quo had reasserted itself alright.

Why did he think anything different would happen?

“I don’t – understand.” A laugh bubbled up from Stan’s chest. It felt bitter and humourless, more like a sob than anything. “I don’t understand. Wouldn’t be the first time, huh?”

Ford stared at him like he’d lost his head. Stan laughed again and dragged a hand down his face, suddenly feeling very, very tired.

“That’s – yeah. Okay.” He dropped his lighter back into his pocket. It wasn’t funny but Stan couldn’t hold back a dry chuckle, turning his head to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes. “Fine. Have fun with your – your dumb mysteries.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and headed for the door.

“Stan!” Ford called after him. A tiny bubble of hope rose up in his chest and he stomped it out as he took the stairs. What was the fucking point?

Stanford’s house was still a wreck up here. Ford didn’t seem to care as he rushed after him.

“Stan!”

Stan took a deep breath and turned to face his panting brother. “What? I’m doing what you wanted. I’m leaving.”

“You’re supposed to take the journal!” Ford made an aborted gesture as if to shove the book at him but hesitated, evidently warring between the need to give Stan his journal and worry that he would destroy it. Stan choked on another bitter laugh.

“Why the hell should I take your stupid book? I don’t understand, remember? I’m just the dumb muscle with no brains and no sense, right?” He stabbed a finger at his staring brother. “Well, I’m finally wising up. I don’t have to do shit for you, Stanford. I don’t owe you anything!”

Stan flung his arms out wide, which in hindsight wasn’t a good move, because his hand knocked into a jar on the kitchen bench… which in turn smashed into several other nearby beakers. He yelped and tried to catch them, only to end up with clear liquid splashed across his hands. The glass containers smashed on the floorboards.

“Shit.”

“My experiments!” Ford shrilled. “Is trying to destroy my science project not enough for you? You have to sabotage my experiments as well?!”

“That was an accident!” Stan shouted back.

“Everything’s an accident with you. Why don’t you just own up to the fact that you don’t want me to succeed? If you’re not going to help me then you can just-!”

That was only the beginning of Ford’s rant, but… Stan couldn’t really hear it anymore. The blood rushing in his ears was way too loud. And why was his vision swimming? And getting dark…?

Well, at least he didn’t have to listen to Ford yelling anymore. That was his last coherent thought before buzzing overtook him.

#fanfiction #chapter 1 #gravity falls #de-aging #rewind

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kabootarandishaan · 4 years

Text

Riverbed

Summary: The reader has taken in a stray dog and always takes it to the riverbed for walks, one day they see a random purple haired boy and things ensue

One-shot/Series: Part 4

Pairing: Jonathan Joestar/ Female reader

A/N: Jonathan deserved better in my opinion so here's something not so short and sweet for a boy who’s also not so short but definitely sweet. This took way longer than I expected but I school has been very busy hopefully ya’ll enjoy

Warnings: None, I think.

You both went at a leisurely pace taking the time to simply enjoy each other's presence. Nila had taken to walking in front of the two of you sometimes stopping to observe a rock or watch an animal scurry by. You had moved from the riverbed to the small dirt road that led to your home, you thought this would be a good time to speak. "Thank you for offering to walk me home." You smiled and turned to look at him. "As I mentioned before Y/N it really is no trouble. If I may ask, how long were you at the river before I arrived?" He asked before clasping his hands behind his back. "Today I had to come around nine. My father owns the general store in town so oftentimes I must help him with business. After I came home late last night he came to the decision that I leave after supper. But today was so busy I had to leave later." You really did not have to tell Jonathan all of this, you did not plan to say anything other than the answer to his question. Yet, his presence made you feel comfortable and you wanted to tell him more.

"I apologize then." You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not quite understanding why he had apologized. He took notice of your expression and let out a breathy chuckle before speaking. "If I had not taken up much of your time, you father would not have had to schedule your walks as such." You shook your head and smiled. "It is not entirely your fault. I had lost track of the time myself. But I do not regret it, if I am to be honest. It is not often I have time for conversations of leisure. My interactions with people are limited to those in the store and if I am shopping in the markets. I'm thankful to have met you Jonathan." You were simply speaking at this point. You weren't necessarily trying to be vulnerable but you let the conversation flow to wherever it felt fit. You were being honest anyways, you did not talk to anyone very much save for your father and Nila. Was this what it was like to have a friend?

He looked at you grinning widely. "I'm more than glad to hear that Y/N. I feel the same way. Believe it or not I often feel lonely at times myself." You scoffed at his words, Jonathan Joestar had a problem making friends. People probably threw themselves at him just to get a greeting. "No, truly. I am popular amongst people, that much is true. But, when you have something that other people want that's all you become to them. A means to an end. Most people I have met have either tried to use me for my wealth or wanted me for my looks. With most women it is the latter I must say. You're the first person to speak to me as if I am a simple human. Thank you Y/N." His words were honest and they caught you off guard, it was his turn to be vulnerable. You did not carry sympathy for the rich, you did not envy them either. But hearing Jonathan you felt sorry for him. It couldn't have been easy growing up in the shadow of his father, being expected to live up to his name.

The pressure of perfection was a constant in his life from a young age. He was also different, from what you had known of rich young folk. His arrogant peers most likely took his kind demeanor for weakness causing him to be an outcast where he was supposed to belong. You were not sure why you did it but you lightly grazed your hand across his, hesitating to hold, you simply let it linger giving him room to decide. You saw him glance at you, curiosity in his eyes. You could feel the heat rise in your face once more before you went to speak. "Well, I am sorry that your experience with others has not been the best. I can assure you we aren't all arrogant pricks." You tried to joke only to go wide-eyed when he lightly clasped your hand. He gave out a short chuckle trying to remain casual, but you felt the sweat on his palm. It made you calmer, to know he was just as nervous, just as unsure about what to do or how to feel. But, one thing you knew for certain was that you enjoyed the feeling of your hand locked with his.

Your conversation seemed to become open after that occurrence. You learned that Jonathan had an adopted brother, Dio. You had seen the man around the town occasionally, always seeming like he had some stick shoved up his arse. You learned that before that he was an only child and lost his mother as well. Oddly enough, it was something you two bonded over. He explained he did not ever really know his mother but he liked to think many of his traits came from her. You told him of your mother before her death. You explained the bonding you had with your father after her death and about how you found Nila. He listened intently taking in word after word, nodding or reacting in some sort of way at every pause.

Nila had been taken aback by the appearance of a few fireflies, she jumped when she saw the flicker of one by her paw. You and Jonathan laughed. "You wouldn't expect her to be frightened by a mere lightning bug."

You nodded to Jonathan's observation. "She's actually just a big baby, she likes to put on the guise of being big and strong but you eventually see right through it." You looked towards your dog fondly, you loved her so much. Nila really was a lucky charm for you and you would never take that for granted. You turned your attention back to Jonathan only to catch him looking directly at you. "You know staring is impolite." You teased him. "Well, good thing I was gazing." He gave you a smug look causing you to roll your eyes, trying to hide your own smile. You felt your smile drop when you saw Nila stop abruptly. You looked up only to see the makings of your home in the distance. You knew that this would have to be where you told Jonathan to turn back. You sighed, it seemed Jonathan was able to pick up on your displeasure as he simply gave your hand a squeeze. He slowly pulled causing you to turn and face him.

"It seems the lady has arrived at her humble abode. I will be taking my leave now. Thank you for this wonderful walk Y/N." He slowly raised your hand to his lips and gave it a soft peck before releasing. Your hand went limp at your side and you felt your face go red once again. He turned and slowly walked back in the direction you came from. You yelled out his name barely able to form a coherent sentence in your flustered state. "Jonathan! Will I see you again tomorrow?" You mentally scolded yourself for sounding so pathetic. It seemed Jonathan did not think so as he eagerly responded. "Yes! I will come earlier so we may speak more!" You smiled folding your hands under your chin. You spun around to see Nila staring at you, a smugness in her eyes. "Don't look at me like that." She simply stared on, her eyes never leaving your giddy form. "For God's sake let us just go before father finds another reason to reprimand us."

You had made your way inside your home, absentmindedly latching the door behind you. You turned grazing the spot on your hand where Jonathan's lips had touched. You smiled remembering the feeling and gave your head a light shake before sighing. "Well, you seem to be awfully content. May I ask what is it that has my daughter in such a good mood?" You were torn from your trancelike state at the sound of your father's voice. You looked towards him and smiled a small chuckle leaving your lips. "The weather was very lovely this evening. Nila and I even saw a few lightning bugs outside tonight. Right Nila?" Nila had made herself comfortable by the fireplace and only gave a small whimper in response to your question. Your father laughed, "I take it Nila wasn't too happy to see them. I hope you don't mind that I had my dinner already, love." Your father gave you an apologetic look.

"Of course not! I would rather you eat if I make it home late. I would be worried sick if you hadn’t. I can fix something up for me and Nila just fine." You went over to the kitchen and began to heat up the stew your father had cooked up. Although he was not the best chef, he could manage to cook a few things here and there. He had to learn a bit after your mother had died. You two would help each other and in the beginning and would spend much time cooking together. After business increased, you two had lost that as well. You were saddened at the lack of time you got to spend with your father. Even at the store you two would be busy and did not have the opportunity to simply chat very often. You were brought out of your thoughts by your father calling your name. "Y/N, I am closing the shop early tomorrow." You had poured the stew into a bowl and made your way out of the kitchen, your brows knitted in confusion.

"Is there something going on tomorrow that I am not aware of?" The news had caught you off guard to say the least. Your father looked to you mirroring your expression. “It’s the first of the month tomorrow Y/N. You know I was quite surprised you hadn’t even reminded me this time. Good thing I remembered or the shop would have undergone a huge loss this month.” Your father let out a chuckle as he finished speaking. Your eyes widened in shock. Tomorrow was the first of the month! Every first of the month was when your father would go into the big city and restock on goods for the shop. Ever since you began helping your father around the shop you had taken up the responsibility of reminding him a week in advance, and you had done so without fail, except this time it slipped your mind.

“I cannot believe it just slipped my mind.” You shook your head slightly disappointed in yourself for being so scatterbrained as of recent. “Well, that means you will be gone for the entire day tomorrow. When will you be returning this time?” When it came to restocking your father was very precise on what merchandise he wanted, sometimes that meant he would do whatever it took to get a specific type of item. Even if he had to wait for it, that would result in him being gone for at least a day or two. At most, he was gone for three days, you were able to handle the shop while he was gone. Most of the townspeople had become familiar with the routine, as they were regulars who had been frequenting the shop for some years now.

“Well, I had telegraphed the supplier some time ago to ensure he would not keep me waiting nearly as long for our produce this time. He had gotten back to me yesterday saying that for the particular type of fruit we need it would not come until the day after next. You know it usually takes some time to travel to and from and considering you hate when I rush back I believe four days this time. Ha! That’s the longest I’ve been gone yet. Do you think you will be able to handle the shop for that long Y/N?” You looked at your father, a small smile etched on your face. “I will happily handle the shop for as long as you are gone. Ensuring that you keep that promise and do rest when you arrive at the city, instead of trying to rush back home the moment you receive everything we need. Your father walked up to you and engulfed you in a tight hug. “It is settled then. We will close the shop around 5 o’clock tomorrow and I will leave then. For now, let us sleep. I have a long journey tomorrow, love.

You simply nodded and made your way to your own room Nila following behind. After bathing and changing into your nightgown you took your hair out of the tight bun that you usually dawned. You watched as it cascaded down your shoulders stopping at the base of your back. Your father told you it was yet another trait of your mothers you had inherited. He said as you got older the resemblance only seemed to grow. You brought it over your shoulder pausing as you looked at the reflection of your hand. You smiled fondly remembering how Jonathan had bid you goodnight. You tried to shake the thought from your head as you made your way to your bed. But you failed miserably and finally did succumb to the thoughts of Jonathan’s lips on your hand as you fell asleep.

#jonathan joestar #jonathan joestar x reader #phantom blood #jjba #jjba part 1 #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure phantom blood #jjba x reader #jjba fanfic #jonathan joestar fanfic #jonathan joestar fanfiction #riverbed

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mitigatedchaos · 3 years

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Review: SAC_2045

(~3,700 words, 15 minutes)

This post will contain some minor spoilers for SAC_2045.

Summary: You may have thought SAC_2045 was a poor entry in the Ghost in the Shell franchise - actually, it's just intended for younger audiences.

Previously: Standalone Complex 202045:1-4 (superseded)

-☆☆☆-

And what did you think of the remaining episodes of GitS:SAC_2045?

[ @irradiate-space ]

Standalone Complex

There's a certain indescribable feeling associated with Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex as a work, an artistic touch related to the director associated with it, independent of other considerations. SAC_2045 has it, which isn't too surprising since Kenji Kamiyama is back.

SAC_2045 is Standalone Complex. For a brief moment, while watching it, I inhabited my pre-2016 personality and outlook. I can't tell you how much that means to me. Since the arrival of streaming I've tended to bingewatch series, but on the first run-through I decided not to bingewatch this one.

If you approach this show as season 4 of Standalone Complex (Solid State Society being season 3), it's underwhelming. Now, viewing it again, it's become obvious that a conventional season 4 of Standalone Complex was never the intent of SAC_2045 to begin with.

For those of you who have delayed until now, the English dub has been uploaded - it released without one due to the pandemic. They bring back a number of the voice actors from the excellent Standalone Complex dub, though having already watched it with subtitles, I didn't feel the need to confirm the dub's quality.

Sustainable War

To properly describe a new theory of war is the same thing as to invent it. While the idea of war as a for-profit industry has been kicked around for some time, it's generally assumed that this is a kind of parasitic relationship on the part of the war-making industry.

As time goes on, warfare becomes more abstract (partly because warfare happens where it can happen), much like society itself is becoming more abstract as information moves more quickly and humanity gains access to more energy.[1] In SAC_2045, "Sustainable War" is part of the context of the world and its current issues, but we aren't really told how it works - if it's similar to contemporary information warfare and a blurring of the lines between state and non-state actors, it's bound to be quite confusing.

I believe my earlier assessment of "Sustainable War" is correct. The key feature of sustainable war, the reason they say it's safe if you leave it to the experts, is likely that it involves AIs constantly forecasting against each other and moving units around with few direct confrontations. The goal would be to lock in a victory without having to fire a shot, except for small skirmishes that don't escalate to major incidents (due to the AI forecasting).

The presence of armed separatist movements even in Japan may also indicate that the ruling institutional bodies are engaged in a kind of Post-International Politics,[2] which treats all international relations as fundamentally existing between subnational entities - however, I believe that later information suggests this wasn't their original intent.

What makes it "sustainable"? Since if done correctly, very little is actually physically destroyed, the cost is less than conventional warfare, and thus the war can continue indefinitely. Why does it threaten humanity with destruction? Because there's an awful lot of military hardware waiting for someone to actually pull the trigger.

Season 1: Ep. 2

So what is the intent of the series' creators? I think they may be telling us through this dialogue between Togusa and Section Chief Daisuke Aramaki in episode 2.

Aramaki: Seems time has toughened you up. Togusa: Is that supposed to be a compliment? Aramaki: It is if you want it to be. Togusa: Then thanks for the kind words. “I made the right decision by choosing this line of work over my marriage.” That’s what you’re saying? Aramaki: Perhaps. [...] Togusa: They're bringing back Section 9? [...] Aramaki: But my takeaway from the proposal is this: The PM's reason for the urgent reforming of Section 9 takes priority over his personal motives. I believe his true objective is meeting the Americans' demands for the dispatch of special resources. Togusa: So it's as the Liberals feared? An American-born Prime Minister would be no more than an American puppet? Aramaki: I've yet to meet him in person, so I can't really say. But this is an opportunity to have the Major and the rest of you undertake a major operation for me once more. Togusa: What sort of op? Aramaki: Over the past few years, I have searched for an answer on how to deal with a society in turmoil. I'd like you people to lay the groundwork that will help the next generation find that answer. Togusa: I don't know what a man in my position can contribute, but I'll humbly offer whatever assistance I can.

Those of us who cried, Kamiyama, tell us the future once more! based on Standalone Complex's prophetic analysis of a memetic crime wave were bound to be disappointed. SAC_2045 is less rooted in the near future than in the now - cyberbullying, endless war amidst historic prosperity, employment suppressed by automation, savings eaten up by the complex machinations of finance, and a breakdown of national borders? That's today.

Those of us who hoped for a Ghost in the Shell: Unicorn, a psychically overpowering work that synthesizes the full body of Ghost in the Shell into a single coherent form to elevate us to a higher level of understanding, should have tempered our expectations. To reach each new philosophical level is more difficult than the last - to achieve that with Ghost in the Shell of all things would have required a multidisciplinary genius near the limits of current understanding.

Kenji Kamiyama is just an anime director. And anyhow, Gundam Unicorn was a book before it was an animated series. And who among us even knew we'd have to write a book before 2015? Ghost in the Shell was well-understood enough, so I instead wrote 25,000 words worth of hypothetical country and became a blogger, like the infamous Scott Alexander.[3]

If we approach SAC_2045 from the lens that it's a humbler work designed for younger audiences, however, some of the creative decisions make more sense.

Purin

Just how old is Purin, the MIT grad who joins the team later on? If I had to guess, that's '23歳' on that profile she provides, and Ishikawa notes that she 'skipped a few grades' on her way to a PhD. But she acts like someone a lot younger. She's enthusiastic and we're assured she's intelligent, but seems to be lacking social training. For example, she makes the mistake of assembling an era-accurate music player for Batou combined with a playlist after consulting the Tachikomas to find out what he listens to. There are two ways to take this.

The first is that she's intended as a relateable character for someone who would make this class of mistake. It's the sort of mistake I might have made at age 13-14, meaning that the show would probably be aimed at someone that age or lower. Overly enthusiastic, doesn't understand romantic relationships, impulsive, poor reading of boundaries / poor modelling of others outside of certain domains, impulsive in a way that causes social screw-ups? Yeah that could certainly apply to an ADHD kid of about that age.

And all of a sudden the tone of the first five episodes with the gun-fighting, the literal Agent Smith, the decision to place the focus in America, and even the mystery of the series being much simpler than Standalone Complex 2nd Gig's plot regarding Asian refugees in Japan make a lot more sense. This is Ghost in the Shell for kids!

Wow, I didn't think that could be done!

...is what I should say, except that around the time I acquired the ability to futurist shitpost, and I used that ability to predict that it would.

Purin II

The second reading is that the youth of the future are fucked up. She probably has some tricked out modifications, both cybernetic and genetic. Now usually you would tell someone to try to become a well-rounded human being. But...

The global economy has crashed. Batou mistakes her for a robot - creatures that look like pretty young women are a dime a dozen. In the dating market, she would be competing with full sensory immersion VR pornography on the one hand, and at the upper end of society where cybernetics are more widely available, likely women with a similar appearance but decades more experience and professional standing.

Note that in the original Standalone Complex, the team take down an 80-year-old Russian spy with the full prosthetic body of a 20-year-old. Full cyborgs aren't common then, nor are they in SAC_2045 (though cyberbrains are ubiquitous), but if the economy recovers that may change, and the sector she's trying to get in to (full-time salaried government rather than marginal private employment it would seem) is going to be very tough to enter either way.

So Purin may have to be over-optimized even to just appear on the screen. In fact, she says,

"Just so I could work at Section 9, I moved most of my sentimental memories to external storage."

Youch! It's no wonder she's socially maladjusted. Just how much of her social learning (in particular key events necessary to rebuild logical inferences on the boundaries of behavior on the fly) has she locked away?

Purin III

But you know who Purin looks like? Notorious internet personality, Gamer Girl Bath Water seller, and IRL video game character Belle Delphine.[4]

Or rather, it's the other way around - 2D animation compresses real detail into suggestive abstraction, letting your mind fill in the rest. Going from those impossible 2D shapes to 3 dimensions creates strange results, like training your machine learning algorithm on the salient features of a cat's face, applying it to human shape, and putting pink hair on the result. Belle Delphine adopts that otherworldly kind of appearance as part of her act.

Technically, this a stylistic choice. Within the framework of SAC_2045, this is what "a 23-year-old female" looks like.

Purin is in fact so non-threatening that her big red coat obscures her figure. I'm gonna go with younger audience. Now if only I could remember what pronoun she uses.[5/☆]

Motoko

With a full prosthetic body, outward signs of human-like aging are almost an artistic expression, much like in a world with cheap tissue engineering, visible scars are a choice.

When she was first introduced in the original Ghost in the Shell manga, we don't know how old Motoko Kusanagi is. It was once said that her name is analogous to "Jane Excalibur," which in English would be an obvious alias. In the first movie (from 1995), she's cool, almost cold and robotic.

In the original Standalone Complex, Motoko has a more mature personality than in the manga, but she has a clearly adult look by the standards of anime. Seriously, check out this fantastic character design (combat suit), although admittedly the better-known "leather jacket and bathing suit" design is more ridiculous, fashion-wise.[6] (Fortunately, she gets pants in her much more stylish second season outfit.)

ARISE starts off with a young Motoko Kusanagi in a chaotic post-war period before the Section 9 we know was assembled. This shows in her character design, but it really shows in her personality. This was actually why I had joked about an even earlier Ghost in the Shell.

There is a sense in which the 2017 live-action movie's Motoko is even younger. Scarlett Johansson is a killer cyborg with amnesia. She doesn't even have one day of formal combat training.

Motoko 2045

Ilya Kuvshinov designed SAC_2045's Motoko Kusanagi.

Yes, that Ilya Kuvshinov. You could be forgiven for thinking this is a teenager that hardboiled assassins Saitou and Ishikawa in the background have been hired to bodyguard.

Despite this, Atsuko Tanaka has resumed her role as Motoko's voice actress. Standalone Complex's Motoko looked 25 and felt mid-30s. SAC_2045's Motoko looks 16 and has the voice and attitude of 40.

This may make more sense than you might think.

Through Whose Eyes?

Throughout much of Ghost in the Shell as a franchise, Togusa, the only non-cyborg on the team, who is pulled from a police department instead of a military background, tends to be character used to help the people of our time relate to the future. He's the guy that doesn't know the things we also don't know, so in explaining concepts to Togusa they're explained to the audience.

In SAC_2045, most of the team are off doing cool cyborg things in America. Aramaki (whose in-world function is to create the bureaucratic environment within which Section 9 operates) tasks Togusa with finding them. The original Standalone Complex first aired in 2003. It's been 17 years since it was created - a similar situation to finding someone that reached adulthood who was born after 9/11. And during this time, Togusa's life has changed - the family man is now separated from his wife. And the world has changed - Togusa is now working for a private security firm. Togusa's role in the first five episodes isn't to guide the new viewers.

His purpose is to guide or stand-in for the old viewers.

The New Viewers

"Do you still hold a grudge against the Major and the others for leaving you behind?"

For the original viewers, SAC_2045 is your world, too. Togusa is there. Togusa is you.

The new viewers are Purin. Enthusiastic and smart but awkward and not confident in their skills. How could they measure up to these much more talented and experienced characters? (Also consider who is going to watch any sort of Ghost in the Shell - it's probably going to be a moderately bright and introverted kid, who is the kind of person that may be more comfortable socializing with people outside of their age band.)

But Motoko is visually separated from the rest of Section 9. Batou, Saitou, Ishikawa, Boma... they all have a much more adult look in keeping with their appearance in previous versions of Ghost in the Shell. What gives?

Batou is sort of a cool adult male figure - this is actually a pretty natural use of the character and his sense of humor as previously established in other Ghost in the Shell properties. We especially see this come through in 「PIE IN THE SKY - First Bank Robbery」 episode, with the old folks and the 21st century bank robbery.

Motoko's difference in appearance is because she's acting as a bridge between the two. The new viewer (as represented by Purin) is supposed to grow into being like Motoko as they gain confidence and experience. (The characters aren't each limited to a single role, of course.)

But SAC_2045 is still a work that's shared between two groups, similar to how the excellent Into the Spiderverse features both the teenage Miles Morales and an older Peter Parker that has lost his way, with the loss of the vibrant young adult Peter Parker being what starts the plot going.

The Last Quarter

With this framework, the rest of the work should express its nature as targeted at a younger audience itself. Watch the last few episodes through this lens and you'll see how much sense it makes. One takes place at a school. Even the bizarre 3D style that resembles recent video games makes more sense. If we take Togusa's earlier conversation with Aramaki as a discussion of SAC_2045 itself, later on there's even a sort of acknowledgement that Ghost in the Shell is a difficult work for someone of a young age.

So with that context in mind, does it work?

Standalone Complex

If I remember correctly, years ago, when I was perhaps 15 or 16, I was watching a tiny CRT television some time after midnight, and I saw the thirteenth episode of the original Standalone Complex - NOT EQUAL. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. I was immediately taken by it. And, from what I remember, I immediately understood it.

It was as though it were made just for me.[7]

To me, Ghost in the Shell is like a textbook. I thought that as a creator who has reached a place where I am able to be involved in that kind of work, I'm in a position where I have to convey its contents to a younger audience. Well, I knew it would be a lot of work, but I figured it would be my way of giving back to Ghost in the Shell. I thought that I needed to accept the baton and offer Ghost in the Shell to a young audience, to the same degree that Ghost in the Shell raised me to be who I am.

- Tow Ubukata, in a 2015 interview, regarding ARISE

For many people, Ghost in the Shell is a profound influence. I felt that it lifted me to a new level of understanding.

SAC_2045

But what about SAC_2045?

I can't view Ghost in the Shell with new eyes. When I first saw it, I wasn't the kind of person that casually memes futuristic ethical dilemmas as a means of practicing politics.

Compared to the anime I watched back when I was 13, would I have watched SAC_2045? Yes. Is it more philosophically and politically sophisticated? Yes. Would I have found it memorable? I think so.

Would a 13-year these days watch it? That's difficult to assess. I bet someone who does data science for Netflix could tell us, if they wanted. I'm sure Kenji Kamiyama and Shinji Aramaki are considering the same thing.

2017

How does it stack up compared to the rest of the franchise?

For most enthusiasts it's going to be one of the weaker entries, though it certainly does a better job explaining itself than ARISE.

Compare it to 2017's live action movie, however, and I think we'll find it isn't the weakest. The reason is that the writers of Ghost in the Shell (2017) decided to tell a story about bodily consent in which becoming a cyborg is a form of trauma. On some level this may have been a reasonable decision, but they didn't commit to the concept sufficiently fully to execute it well enough to carry the movie - and simultaneously, they dumbed down parts of the regular Ghost in the Shell material for American audiences. As a result the movie flopped both financially and artistically - except for the visuals.

In fact, I wrote a sequence of posts (1, 2, 3, 4) on how to rewrite the live action movie as an actual Ghost in the Shell property. I feel no need to do so for SAC_2045 - and I can't even think of what changes would need to be made.

I look forward to the second season.

-☆☆☆-

[1] It's short, but that's a concept in this post. "Advanced by Left-Wing theorists, Ninth Generation warfare sees all acts as existing on a spectrum of political violence. Most acts of ninth generation warfare consist of extreme pranks."

[2] If we accept the idea of "Fifth-Generation Warfare" as motivated by a desire to prevent the enemy from using their conventional military assets, then a corresponding theory of international politics would involve preventing enemy factions within foreign governments from taking control of those governments' institutions - effectively treating all countries as in continuous level of conflict analogous to a soft civil war.

[3] There is a kind of technique to this, but in my case I substituted ADHD for raw IQ and conscientiousness, which is part of why my posts are so much shorter than, for instance, Moldbug's. In any case, technically, Scott's blog posts on the matter amount to roughly a mere 11,600 words, and the book of the black forest amounts to approximately 26,000 words (which I'm told is entertaining reading), but I'm sure if we go looking we can find an additional 15,000 words worth of worldbuilding from a man known for writing 16,000 word blog posts.

[4] Would it be more of a legal liability to sell regular water with GGBW branding, or actual GGBW that could prove to be a potential health hazard?

[5/☆] There's some future strand lurking beneath the surface here that I can't quite put into words; a culturally divergent moe meltdown where an appearance this ridiculous becomes normalized among some sub-population. To quote the Funko Pop Hatred post,

There are questions about the anatomy of anime people and their internal organs, and particularly about what sort of impact-dampening alien meta-material their softer bits are made out of, but at least homo sapiens gokuensis looks like it’s a branch off a similar starting hominid! Whatever transhuman engineering company was responsible for manufacturing the creatures in the typical harem anime has some weird ideas about human beings, but we’re clearly in their ancient lineage somewhere.

Under Late Safetyism, everyone is a declawed catgirl.

Anyhow, I don't want to alarm you, but I can't guarantee that this won't be the future somewhere. Both Purin and Belle Delphine resemble Xiaoice, "The AI Girlfriend Seducing China's Lonely Men." (2020)

[6] Motoko's ridiculous outfits are a major flex on the non-cyborgs, who aren't indifferent to ambient temperature and whose natural bodies may have unflattering features. Similarly wild fashions can exist in places like Second Life, a 3D digital platform with mostly user-uploaded content. Presumably they're also a flex on every Japanese salaryman who still has to dress like a normal guy.

[7] "It's as though it were made just for me" is also how I feel about the original game Mirror's Edge. Its follow-up, Catalyst, is also a personal favorite of mine.

#miti does media #longpost #flagpost #ghost in the shell #sac_2045 #standalone complex #review

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himbo-buckley · 4 years

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Sex, Intimacy and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 4

Ciao, ragazzi,

i bims, die Kriz and I will be your tourguide today. (Yes, we’re on first name basis now, congratulations, kid, ya’ll earned it!)

Okay, so I rewrote this intro like 5 times by now. 3B has been so hard on me in a way that the rest hasn’t been. While I was writing 3A I had so many thoughts and ideas and conclusions from the get go, my main worry was to fit it all in and to make it coherent. And it took me a while to get there with 3B - but don’t worry, my friends, I did not disappoint and it is just as long as part 3, despite Tim Minear personally coming to my home and vibe checking me for saying he had daddy issues. Which is fair, tbh. Sorry bro, I’ll stop calling you out like that. (No, I won’t.)

Also if you need a „quick“ refresher of what happened so far or you just forgot, here are:

part one - part two - part three

And also, the usual spiel:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FIVE parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season, and have it organised by episode so you could technically follow along (which is still true), but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 had exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in three parts - there is part 3 which ends with the Christmas Episode, part 4 which spans what aired of 3B so far and the final part 5 which will include the final and my conclusion, if by then I am able to form thoughts again / still

Alright you guys, drumrolls please: part 4 (also called „*butterfly meme* Is this growth?“)

Episode 3.11:

I wanna be honest with ya’ll, Season 3B is sort of a mixed bag for me, because while yes, all the episodes have been great viewed separately, they just feel so … separate from each other, and with 3A having so many episode-spanning arks, it’s a bit of a letdown to return to the standalone episode format. Especially because it makes the whole two steps forward one step back thing so much more apparent as it feels like what happens in one episode has no consequence for the next. It felt a little like they burned through too much in 3A already and didn’t know where to go from there. Which is also true for me, so maybe I should stop judging.

Anyways, I’ll stop bringing the house down now.

Let’s continue with: Don’t you just love stan-ing two adorable, complicated badass firefighters? Yeah, me too.

Also, I wanna see the Doc again. Tim, can we? He could be friends with Frank? We could see them have tea and talk about those dumbasses at the firehouse? (And also legs, since, you know, Frank only has one?)

And also the bank guy, Harrison was fun. (This whole episode was.)

And I know it has nothing to do with Eddie or Buck or Intimacy or Sex (okay a little with those) but I do wanna point you to that damn meatball scene, because it’s so chaotic? First, why are all the ingredients laid out on the table but Maddie is making balls already only to then cover them in water? Look, I’m basically vegan (haha, how long do you think I’ve waited to shoehorn this in here) and haven’t cooked meat since I was … fourteen, probably? And even to me that just seemed wrong! Not to mention AFTER touching raw meat, Maddie only cleans her hands with a towel before opening the door? You used to be a nurse, Madeleine / Maddison! (Do we know her full name? I feel like we don’t.)

One thing I really love about 3B (so far) is how happy and settled my main man Edmundo Diaz is. It’s in the eyes, you guys! I don’t know if it’s a Ryan thing or a deliberate acting choice but whatever it is it translates well (haha, well, yeah, we’ll talk about that one later) into his character and it really makes you feel like Eddie is so much better. Like for all the analysis of Eddie I’ve been doing, I didn’t notice how much colder he grew since the beginning of Season 2 until this episode came and suckerpunched me with the warmth in his eyes. Good god, proceed with caution! Oliver could call me right now and say „Look, Buddie isn’t real, I just keep getting lost in Ryan’s eyes.“ and I wouldn’t even be mad, I’d just be like „How’d you get this number?“. (It was Tim, wasn’t it? Damn it, we talked about this, mate! I wanna meet his cat, not him!)

The episode doesn’t hold a lot of relevance in terms of this meta (aside from some parallels I’ll talk about in a moment) but I still want to discuss it a little bit because it means a lot to me. I just love Howard „Chimney“ Han with all my heart.

I wanna say something controversial now because we’re 500 words in and I feel like I haven’t made you regret reading my rambling yet, so here is controversial thought of the day #1: All these fucking characters are grey as fuck except Howie. Howie is good to the bone. He is the goodest boy. He is so gentle and sweet and non malicious and yes, I am including Evan in my list of grey characters because he pulled some SHIT! Okay, a little bit of shit. Things have been *implied*! (I don’t even know anymore. Maybe he’s just off-white or something.)

And what’s the worst my best friend Howard „Chimney“ Han has done on this show? Lied to his girlfriend a buncha times so she likes him better? I lie all the time. I just lied to my mother 5 minutes ago (Yes, Mom, I’m working on my thesis.)! And Howie just lied to make someone like him better. That’s not bad, that’s horrible self esteem!

Which brings me to another thing I wanna say because thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt. If anyone from the cast gets to call me, it’s you, because you clearly had your thinking pants on when you took one look at Chimney and said: I want that one! You a real one and I will name check you on my way to heaven - not, that they’ll let me in, but the thought counts?

Now, lets talk about those parallels I mentioned before:

The Hans vs. the Buckleys.

Now, we still don’t know a lot about Mr. and Mrs. Buckley and what exactly made them bad parents (though I’m firmly team a little neglectful but not abusive) but we know a lot about Mr. Han.

One thing of the bat I wanna mention is that this episode confirms that Maddie at least had a hand in raising Buck - which doesn’t actually have to mean too much, because based on JLHs age, her relationship with Dough and the way their sibling relationship is played it’s safe to assume that Maddie is supposed to be between 5-10 years older than Buck (assuming she started nursing school after High School at around 18 / 19, which I think takes 4 years in the US? And she was an ER nurse for 8 years, making her AT LEAST 30 in Season 2, but considering how she emphasised that Buck noticed something was wrong with Dough even as a teenager and she met Dough at 19, I’m gonna assume Buck was younger then 16 because Dough won’t have shown his abusive tendencies right of the bat, so probably about 12 / 13, making Maddie like 6 years older than him? And since we DO have a definite age for Evan, Maddie is probably around 33 in Season 2 (which also works because they wanted to put her and Eddie in a relationship and Ryan Guzman is in his early 30 as well). And look, as the youngest child of two people I would call more than adequate parents I can tell you: older siblings always have a hand in raising you, especially when the age difference exceeds 4 years. One of my sisters is 5 years older than me and I was more scared of telling her about having a bad grade than I was of my parents, so…

Anyways, back to what is actually happening in the episode and how it both parallels and contrasts the Buckleys and Hans.

Like Maddie and Howie are the older siblings and Buck and Albert are the younger siblings, yet Buck and Howie are paralleled as are Maddie and Albert. Also, Howie resents his brother for the relationship he assumes Albert has with their father, but Maddie recognises that Buck probably had similar experiences growing up as she did. Of course one could argue that Howie and Albert never had a relationship before while Buck and Maddie grew up together, but look, Maddie was in an abusive relationship for quite a while and hadn’t been in contact with her brother for 3 years prior to Season 2 but it’s safe to assume they didn’t have too close of a relationship before that either, or the Buck we know would have gone to Maddie to investigate and find out why she dipped. So…

(Despite all of this, Maddie knew she could come to her brother for help in Season 2 meaning one, our boy is such a good boy always and the Buckleys can’t be all bad if Maddie knows she can count on her brother, meaning she didn’t think her parents screwed him up too much in the time since she moved out and gradually left his life. Just another thought.)

I also love how her firm believe in the strength and meaning of familial relationships triggers a shift in Howie. Please keep this in mind for when we discuss 3.16 in a few minutes, friends.

Also that kitchen scene has all my heart. They really said kitchens are a Buddie thing now, didn’t they? (Also from a non shipper perspective, Maddie and Buck are just the sweetest and for a TV show actually fairly realistic siblings. At least if I compare them to my siblings and I.)

Also in terms of the actually topic of my meta’s: this is our first indicator that Eddie considers the 118 his family. And we have another moment of Chimney seeking reassurance / being open with Eddie. I love that they have a friendship like that. (He was so excited about meeting Chimneys brother as well. A little bit puppy and like another reason why Evan and him are friends. (As if we need more)) Also love that Eddie is secure enough to voice these feelings!

(Eddie really does seem so healed in this episode? So open? And happy? Damn, Frank, you know your shit! My man had some growth.)

Now, for some sidenotes to round off this episode, because I have some and I wanna share them:

On the Buckley parents, I think the episode wants to imply that they had plans for Buck? Maybe career wise? Because in the pool scene he says something along the lines of: „Sometimes you have to put / get a little distance“ and since it’s been implied that Buck is also from Pennsylvania or somewhere close by, we can assume that he was talking about himself here. Like he moved all the way across the continent.

I’m also just gonna throw out a prediction for Season 4: since Nia is only a foster child and like 2 years old, it’s safe to assume that she has been only recently taken in. While I do not know the US-Foster system, I do have some knowledge about the German system, so I’ll just predict that either one or both of the birth parents try to get their child back.

Or they just sort of forget about all of this by Season 4.

And I really really really dislike the cancer storyline and how the show is handling it, at least in this episode, specifically in regards to May, who in my opinion, has been both written and treated by the show as someone younger than 18 here, only for the show to then turn around and go all: wow, such an adult, look how wise she is. So awesome. Like nah, son! 3A has shown that she is much maturer than she was treated in this episode.

And Eddie finally got to say „seen this before“ again. I feel like he says that a lot. Should I start a counter for that too or do ya’ll just wanna think about him naked for a bit? (I know, you guys, I know! Should I befriend someone who can make me a bunch of gifs of shirtless Eddie I can pepper in every time we get to heavy around here?)

Episode 3.12:

Ah, yes, „Fools“! The one episode I have to say I can not look at without wearing my shipper goggles. So be warned.

Which is why I’m gonna start with the elephant in the room: Ana Flores.

Now, I’ve seen (and maybe liked / reblogged / queued / drafted (Idk anymore, I’m up to 600 posts in my drafts, 300 in my queue and like 300 liked / reblogged already)) an interview with Ryan Guzman where he talks about Ana and how he isn’t sure yet wether they are heading for romance and how it needs someone incredibly badass to get through Eddie’s defences, because Eddie is barely over his wife’s death and yeah, that! Look, if you’re here, I’m gonna assume you have read the other three parts of this „meta“ and therefore know that I am a proud member of the Shannon Diaz - defense squad and will fight anyone who says a bad word about her. And you will also know that I attribute most of the stupid things Eddie did in 3A to the fact that Shannon died. So there. All caught up.

Now, as for Ana Flores herself (and I’m writing this after 3.16, so who knows what happens next): She might be in Season 4 (I think the interview said something about it or she tweeted something) but I don’t think it has been confirmed yet? So considering what Ryan said they probably won’t end up in a relationship by the end of Season 3 (again, please remember when I am writing this).

I’m not gonna comment on the actress aside from saying, damn, I wish that were me! Other than that? I don’t really care about actors unless I think they are hot and then it’s more of a: uiiii, me like-y. (Madeleine Patch, call me!)

As for the actual scenes, well, I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand side, as I’ve said before, I work with children and the idea of dating the father of one of my babies is just plain wrong to me. So there is that. Morally speaking that storyline would be trash. (And very OOC for Mr. „My son needs to be protected above all“)

Then of course there is what’s actually happening between them which, one, from the get go she seems to not reciprocate Eddie’s advances (he keeps telling her to call him Eddie, she keeps calling him Mr. Diaz). Also that whole speech about horses? Yeah, I know you’re an english teacher but ähm, what? (Put it on the list, Tim, I need answers!)

To sum it up (and explain why I brought up Shannon aside from how much I like her), I don’t think it’s headed for a romance quite yet? They may be playing the slowburn game, but I think it was more like Ali in Season 2. Because as @greyhello pointed out to me in Part 2, Ali might have been there to show us that Buck was ready for a commited relationship and it had never been Abby that made him like that, just as Ana is here to tell us: hey, Eddie is finally accepting his wife’s death and maybe, possibly, some time in the near future, ready to date again. Probably. We’ll see.

Aside from that, I actually think a little crush could be something healthy and healing for Mr. control issues. But, again, we’ll see.

So, elephant addressed. Now let’s move on.

Sidenote: I feel like the parent-teacher conference made Eddie really regret so many of his life decisions. Someone needs to tell Buck so he can make a million puns from here on out and drive Eddie crazy.

(Sidenote: Carla said „big blue eyes“! You know who has big blue eyes? Ah, now I’m just clowning.)

Now this episode returns to the Season 2 formula of giving Eddie and Buck similar storylines:

Because while Eddie meets someone he could potentially be interested it, Buck is also made aware of his single status and the fact that he hasn’t dated in a while.

I do think Buck’s stance in this episode was both curious and familiar. Familiar because it reminded me a lot of Eddie in 2.04 and I think, just like Eddie did before Shannon came back, right then Buck is closing himself off from making connections, be they physical or emotional, because he got hurt too much.

Which is why I call it curious. Because I can not decide wether I consider his behaviour growth or a step back. In Eddie it would definitely be a step back, but in Buck who had been so willing to take any chance for physical intimacy just for the sake of a connection in Season 1 to now at least seem somewhat settled in himself and comfortable with what he has does feel a little like growth? (Then again 3.16 shows us he is just scared of getting hurt again, so probably just covering up is depression.)

Also, again with the kitchen! That puts us at five (?) scenes of Buddie talking about each other or with each other in a kitchen setting (six, if you count 3.03). Now I’m probably clowning myself real hard right now, but whatever!

But I do wanna point out how comfortable Eddie and Buck are discussing Eddie’s parenting struggles, which just shows how much he trusts him.

Now I know, I myself have made a textpost about Eddie discussing his parenting struggles with literally anyone, but ya’ll know I was kidding, right? It isn’t actually true. In canon he talks with exactly 5 people about Christopher:

They are Christopher’s therapist in „Triggers“, Carla, Hen, Lena … and Buck.

Now, here comes something interesting: For Carla and therapist, it is literally their job to help Eddie with his parenting struggles, but all the other scenes? Connected to Buck. Yeah. That.

Look, the Hen scene in the Christmas episode literally involves Buck and as I’ve said both Eddie’s and Buck’s reaction here heavily implied that Eddie has had a conversation with Buck about his fight with Chris before telling Hen all about it.

As for Lena, again, she is *literally* there as a substitute for Buck. She uses his locker. Her name is taped over his - and that is actually such a nice visual, that I wanna talk about it real quick, because I’ve seen it called disrespectful a few times and I don’t agree.

One, the fact that they left the „B“: funny af, someone from set dressing is probably laughing themselves silly about this and is allowed to call me now; also a constant reminder who’s locker and place she is actually occupying. Also how she can never really fully replace him, she can’t cover the hole he left fully, he is always there, lurking.

Two, the fact that it is tape: tape is slightly see through. It is temporary and easily removed. Tape is just a quick, momentary fix. Tape can be taken off / away without effort.

So to sum it up: There’s no one he trusts more with his son.

Which is also why Buck is there at the end: because Buck is who Eddie trusts. Buck is who Eddie goes to when he’s struggling as a father. Buck is who Eddie wants by his side cheering Chris on. I mean, they are literally pushing him together while Carla films (stands on the sidelines, ready to help as needed, but not fully a part of their family unit).

So, to go back to the elephant in the room? Right now I’m not at all worried about Ana Flores.

On another note it’s also one of the last real Buddie scenes we got in 3B so far and while I do understand that there just wasn’t any storyline for them to do such a scene organically, I am very worried about what it could mean. Because I still remember when Teen Wolf stopped putting Tyler H and Dylan in scenes together because people kept screaming queerbaiting.

I don’t want that to happen here. I love Buddie and what it could represent but I’ve also written too much about their respective characters AND their connection by now to disregard how meaningful they ALREADY are and how important even as a platonic pairing they are. Because they make each other so much better and proof that straight man can have deep connection with each other and how two flawed people can help each other heal in a way that I don’t think any other relationship in this show shows.

Back to the episode, though. The ark between Christopher and Eddie here is truly beautiful and I love the way we see Eddie growing as a parent. And I think the show wrote those scenes so well and they felt truly natural and were incredibly important, both for Eddie and Christopher.

I do think, as much as I love Christopher always being Eddie’s number one priority, no matter who Eddie ends up dating (yes, even if he dates Buck) we need to see a bit of a shift here. (Also, just in general, because Christopher will grow up, even if he’ll never be as independent as a fully abled bodied child might someday be.)

Eddie needs to learn to let go of control and of Christopher a bit. Look, a partner will never come before Christopher for Eddie (unless Chris is like in his 40s and has moved out and is living his own life. And even then it’ll be close.) but in order for anyone to ever fit into his life he needs to make a little space at the top and that includes taking away a bit from Christopher.

(Also just selfcare reasons, you guys, parents need to learn that it’s okay to sometimes think about themselves! And we already saw Eddie break once cause it became too much, how easy do you think that can happen again?)

Sidenote: We all know Buck built that, right? He’s been shown again and again to have some mechanical / maschinary (?) understanding plus fairly interesting problem solving skills.

Episode 3.13:

I love the locker room scene. Firstly, it’s a definite reminder that these three have bonded a lot and it’s such a sweet familial scene.

Also Eddie’s advice: yet another hint that he’s healing from Shannon’s death.

Compare it 3.08 and the conversation Bobby had with Eddie. There are no definite callbacks or anything like it, but it is very very very obvious that Eddie is talking about his dead wife here. Who he told he loves her in her last moments. So there.

Now, as for the healing part, could you imagine 3A!Eddie saying something like that to anyone?

Even in 3.03 or 3.06 with Buck, the person he lets himself be the most vulnerable with, there are still always terms and conditions with his words.

He trust no one more with his son, which, okay, is what the scene was about and what has the highest priority in his life but still, his trust isn’t bound to himself, it’s bound to his son, not to himself, not something he has in general for Buck, but something he has for Buck in regards to his son - that Eddie trusts Buck with himself is only ever implied.

He forgives him - „also what it means to be a part of a team“. Eddie sort of impersonalises his forgiveness here, he doesn’t forgive him because he’s Buck and he’s Eddie, he forgives him because they are part of the same team.

With Eddie there is always a wall.

But here in the locker room there isn’t. It’s just: if you love her, tell her, cause you might not get another chance - Eddie certainly doesn’t have another chance to tell Shannon.

And okay, you might say, isn’t that kind of a condition as well? Saying ‚I love you‘ because tomorrow isn’t promised? And sure, it kind of is. But Eddie’s also basically saying: once upon a time I told my wife, who art now in heaven, that I loved her as she was dying and then I got real mad at her and the world after because she left me and she was planning to leave me anyways and now I’m here and I’m over that and I’m just glad I got to tell her ‚I love her‘ one last time. I’m no longer angry.

Growth, you guys.

Episode 3.14:

I feel like the writers read some of ya’ll’s Buddie fanfiction, realised how it mischaracterised the relationship between Buck and Chimney gets and said: not on my watch!

In other words: If Eddie and Buck are different sides of the same coin, Buck and Chimney are the same sides of different coins. They share so many traits and experiences!

Now, this episode. Man, you guys, it really has me stumped. Part of me thinks it doesn’t have relevance and part of me keeps going back because it thinks it does?

Oh man, you guys, I’m lost. I don’t know.

All right, executive decision: no relevance, just another drop on the breakdown-stone that is 3.16.

Someone please tell my man’s boy they need him!

Episode 3.15:

Fun fact to start ya’ll off: this was only the second episode I watched somewhat live being a little new to town and the first I saw without spoiling myself on tumblr. So it has a special place in my heart any way you look at it.

(But then again this episode also involves several of my nightmares: drowning! being below earth! Being in small enclosed spaces! Being buried alive! Huge amounts of mud that will not leave your clothes and fingernails for the next six hundred years!)

Also, uhm, did I say „Fools“ was the *one* episode I could not look at without shipper goggles? So I’m contradicting myself. It happens. Move on. (Yeah, or repress it and join a fight club! Also name check me with your therapist, please! We may have breakdowns but we do them healthy around here!)

Because these fuckers went off! Whew! I’m serious, after watching the episode I sent a clip of that scene to my roommate and asked to rate how platonic this was. Which she did not. Because she doesn’t know math, apparently. - My point is, she sees it and she doesn’t know the show.

In other news this episode convinced me Oliver is pulling an Andrew Robinson (and yes, I know he said it was in the script but then Andy also followed the script, so…).

Sidenote: Eddie is the oldest, right? Damn, for some reason I thought he was the middle child. He has big middle child energy.

(Also why they namedrop Galveston like that? I googled it an it’s just a town? Why, Tim, why?) (At this point he is just torturing me, I know it. This feels personal.)

Anyways, this episode, you guys! I have thoughts! (And they are very hard to put in order so please excuse any jumping around at this point.)

The birthscene is great and can we just for a moment think about 25 year old Eddie hugging his mother in law so very lovingly? He’s so happy here. So soft. (Also I’m about to turn 25? I would not be able to deal with being married right now either?)

And yes, this episode confirms that Eddie has killed people, and while I know it was selfdefense, I just, it’s very weird to me because these characters have become so real to me, so to see one of them kill without a care is kinda off-putting. (This is why I will always consider Eddie grey and why I can never consider Buck white - because he had been planning on joining the Seals meaning he had to consider the possibility of killing and has probably learned to kill (Do you think that’s why he’s so non aggressive? because he knows he could take everyone down?))

I’m just gonna come out and say it: anyone who says Eddie isn’t impulsive has not watched this show. In fact I’d even say he is more impulsive than Buck.

Yes, Buck will do weird and dumb shit on a whim because the thought just crossed his mind and it sounds good and he doesn’t think about the consequences, but just does it. (I could make a case that our boy has ADHD but this is not what this meta is about)

But Eddie? Eddie is impulsive in his reactions. Everytime he is in distress (emotional not physical) he stops thinking about consequences and just starts reacting. Especially if it’s about a child!

Shannon is pregnant - lets sign up for the army.

Our child has a developmental disorder - lets stay in the army.

My parents want to take away my child - lets move halfway across the country.

(Not allowed to talk to your best friend? - lets go streetfighting.)

Eddie probably thinks these things through to a point and he mostly has a plan, but he is so reactionary. He is like a raw nerve and that’s what makes him impulsive.

It’s why, instead of letting them pull him out enough until he can radio, Eddie cuts the fucking line. Because this is a child, this could be Christopher and Eddie needs to be enough to save him.

(Are you crying yet?)

I’m not gonna talk about Afghanistan except to say: ah, Eddie. My man, you are enough! Always!

(But maybe that was his guilt over killing talking? Maybe he does feel bad?)

Also why did the woman emphasis ‚Staff Sergeant‘ like that? Was that an indicator that Eddie got promoted?

Also Eddie the fucking boy scout / alter boy / goody goody two shoes trying to get up because of a superior office despite lying in a hospital bed (and not even having been cleaned from his blood yet, urgh that’s gotta itch!)

Sidenote: in light of 3.16: do you think Eddie still talks to Mills, Binder, Norwahl and what all their names are or do you think that would be too hard for him? I’m leaning toward not talking but I really liked Mills (she reminded me of Buck and Lena, tbh.)

And now, for our regular scheduled program: Shannon and Eddie.

First of all I loved all of it. I loved that we could really understand why Shannon left. I love how much they clashed but still had those little moments of recognition.

And look: The juice box scene was very rough. Eddie is likely currently suffering from PTSD, definitely having a culture shock and here is his wife who is barely holding on as well and she just wants to leave, she can’t deal anymore and both of them are so desperate and wow, just wow. Kudos Ryan and kudos Devin Kelley, I’m sad we won’t see you again, but I do hope I’ll see you somewhere else one of these days!

I’ve talked about their relationship a lot already, so I’m not sure if I have any fresh takes but I will remind you of a few you already know:

Eddie is not in love with Shannon after Afghanistan (haven’t decided yet if he was in love with her in the birth scene)

Shannon *needed* Eddie to open up to her just as much as she needed to be open with her

Eddie was not able to be emotionally intimate with his wife

they cared about each other very very much and I do think they tried

they are family (remember what I said in part 2 about Eddie talking to the 118 about Shannon? This here proof that he definitely defended her actions at some point to them as well)

Shannon was in an impossible situation with her mother and a special needs child and likely burned out and just … she needed someone to have her back, which Eddie couldn’t because he himself was suffering from PTSD at that point

I’m still mad as fuck, they killed her off! If they give Eddie any other endgame romance that isn’t Buddie without like two seasons buildup after killing off HIS WIFE I will riot!

Which brings me to Eddie and his parents which was rough, you guys!

Look, as someone who worked with children I can see where his parents are coming from in that scene but also wow, just wow.

How cold and insensitive and fuck, no wonder someone is repressed as shit, that was horrifying and I really can’t talk about this more than to say this hurts and also explains too much about Eddie. (Can we have the locker room three bonding about having horrible parents in Season 4, please, Tim? And can Buck come too? We could do it at the loft?)

As for his conversation with Christopher, obviously it was cute as fuck and also I love how he began the conversation talking to his child like every adult male I have ever met talking to a kid about something he knows will go over it’s head („It’s like we’re talking about completely different people.“). (Okay, maybe not just adult males. Maybe we all talk like that around children sometimes. I know I do.)

I really liked how they reinforced once again that Eddie wasn’t a natural at being a dad (compare how he holds his son to season 1 Buck who most definitely knows how to handle a child (And now I’m wondering if him being good at it was always planned or a „Oliver did a great job the first time we had him interact with a child so we decided to make it a trait“-thing. Damn you, Tim, for making me think so much!)) but became good at it because he was willing to learn and he cared! Dads of the world (also Moms, we aren’t all super duper either) take note!

That being said the conversation also left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth because, one, it felt a little petulant of Eddie to turn around and leave for LA, the way it was presented here and two, Christopher at that point didn’t understand yet what Eddie was actually asking him about and it felt a bit like manipulation. Please everyone, do not consider a conversation like that consent from a child. Any adult can get a child that age to say anything they want because children just want to be liked (It’s why when children are involved in criminal proceedings it’s so hard to interview them because children follow every suggestion because they think this is what the adults want them to say.).

Now, let’s talk about puppy!boy for a second!

In 1.05 Buck tells Abby: „no one is good when it’s personal“ - well guess what buddy boys, this one is very personal for one Evan ‚Buck’ Buckley, thank you very much, that boy is losing it.

Okay, let’s compare it to the episode before and then two episodes later:

Now, obviously the situation with Maddie was a little different. Mainly because this was a hostage situation and he realised (because Seal training, remember?) that there wasn’t a lot he could do to help her right then but then again … neither was there in Season 2 when Maddie was in danger and he still acted far more frantic in the car with Athena than he did here? Like the only stupid thing he did was drive a little dangerously this time?

And of course, two episodes later we see Bobby react when Athena is in danger and while we don’t see him be frantic we do see him get ready to kill someone, so, yeah!  It could of course be inconsistent writing or deliberate to keep the attention and worry more on the people in the call centre but since they haven’t pulled anything like that before I’m leaning more into my clowning.

I mean, we also have to consider that Buck was Eddie’s lifeline here, he was supposed to be the one to get him out, so he feels extra responsible but then again we have Hen make this comment about having two cut lines, which of course says that Hen thinks that one: whatever reason Eddie had to cut his line will definitely be considered a just as valid reason by Buck to cut his line but also: BUCK WOULD DECIDE TO DIE DOWN THERE WITH EDDIE. Sorry for the yelling, but no, I do not think Buck acted out of character in 3.14.

(Which is very irresponsible, you guys. You are fathers! What happens to Christopher when ya’ll die in a well somewhere in fictional California? I can not live in fictional California! I will not be taking care of your child, Buddie! Figure it out yourself! No. We are done here! This conversation is over!)

(Okay, not quite, because I actually don’t think that would be realistic! More realistic: Buck giving Eddie his harness so he can get pulled out first and then dying down there alone.)

Like I’ve said in the at the beginning: Oliver might be pulling an Andrew Robinson. It might have just been the way they thought Buck would act if he lost Eddie while being responsible. It might have been fever making him delirious (which, btw, kudos! Because you can hear how sore his throat was and omg, that shirt hurt!)

Never mind I found the heavy focus on Buck in an episode about Eddie fairly curious - which is why now it’s video-talk time!

First: I will not bear Shannon slander around here! Yes, she was in way less scenes than Buck, but the actress also was never a main character, so ya’ll need to remember there are like 2 scenes of them as a family. And they probably didn’t have the time, money and energy to film some just for a montage - especially considering that the three of them have hardly been a family together, because first Eddie was gone and then Shannon, so…

But yes, we do have to admit that Buck was in most scenes, and yes, we do have to consider the implications of this which are: Buck is definitely a vital member of the Diaz family and when Eddie says: I’m always gonna come home to my family, this now includes Buck and I hope we see him tell him that at one point in the final cause I need him to!

And then of course there is also the radio scene in the beginning (which lead to one of my proudest tumblr-moments to date in form of this post!) which did ease us into the concept of Bucky-boy being a member of the Diaz family! So it is canon now?!

One thing I wanna point out about the school scene in the end in regards to this is that little boy’s question. Sure they used it as transition to calling Christopher his good luck charm but, uhm, why did they have Buck ask about it in the beginning then? Why have this sort of unnecessary callback to the beginning of the episode unless they want us to remember Buck?

Something to ponder for the next week, I think.

Also the episode sort of reinforced my believe that we don’t really have to worry about Ana Flores. Sure, this scene was also a chance for Eddie to redeem himself in front of a teacher he screamed at just a few weeks prior but the only interaction they had was her asking that question at the end and Eddie hardly looked at her.

(Also, if they really wanted to reinforce Eddie being interested in her, they could have had Carla make a dig about it in the beginning, even with Christopher there, but they didn’t, which to me confirms that they don’t really know what to do with her yet.)

At least Ryan was finally taking his shirt off again, I know that’s like catnip for ya’ll.

Episode 3.16:

One thing that really confuses me is how many people seem to think this episode points out only how important romantic relationship are and I don’t see that?

I mean, I see that it’s one of the points that is being made but I don’t think it’s the only possible reading of this episode.

To me it was about connection and family more than anything.

It begins actually with Eddie (the person most connected to Buck) being the first person to decline Buck’s invite, not in favour of spending time with a romantic partner, but because he has a prior commitment with his son! (And several other people, including, but not limited to, at least 2 other nine year olds. For Eddies sake I hope less than 5 or that Carla is around because he is a single father and children unionise by nature.)

And it continues with Buck by forming a connection to Red and then bonding with Maddie.

And can I just say, before we delve more into all of this, how proud I am of Evan „Buck“ Buckley after this episode? Just look at him!

This is Buck at his lowest, lower even than during the lawsuit, because back then he had something to fight against, which he doesn’t have here. Because he can’t stop other people from leaving him (that is the whole point of the episode after all) and what does he do? Instead of going full on Buck 1.0 and just finding the nearest interested person to form a meaningless physical connection with to substitute for the lacking emotional intimacy he craves so much, he goes to a bar alone and befriends an old man. And spends the rest of the episode bonding with him. And bonding with his sister. And addressing his issues, both with his sister and his family. That is huge!

(Which is why I’ve decided him not wanting to date? Symptom of his deeper issues, yes, but also a sign of growth.)

And I’ve seen some people on my dash talk about how, compared to most other 911 episodes, this episode has a fairly bleak ending, which one I agree with, two think is actually a theme with Buck centric episodes, but three don’t actually mind / think is a bad thing? It’s fairly realistic after all.

To get personal one second: I remember being a very idealistic 20-year old intern working in the foster system five years ago and my mentor, who was less than 10 years older than me but fairly badass teaching me something that technically is a well known proverb but that I, a idealistic 20-year old, had not actually understood until I worked there and saw it myself: manchmal muss man den Karren an die Wand fahren - translation: sometimes you have to let the trolley drive into the wall, which means sometimes you have to let things play out till it’s natural end before you can help. Or to use an english proverb: Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom.

And this is what I’m thinking - no, hoping - is happening here. Because, look, you don’t just solve like 20 or more years of abandonment issues in one episode and considering what a big part of Buck’s character from the moment we met him they have been, that would have been unsatisfying to watch anyways! What we need right now, in terms of Buck’s storyline is catharsis. A cleansing. Buck needs to get to his worst (which I think he did or he will, once he talks to Abby) before he can begin to get better, can begin to heal, can begin to learn that he is not alone. And that is not a bad thing!

And yes, I know our boy is suffering and we along with him because we all love Evan Buckley to death but sometimes you gotta let things break so you can fix them instead of just putting tapes over the holes you see (haha, see what I did there?).

As for the episode, here we go:

I wanna start with something else real quick which is Hen’s subplot which I found important. Because they addressed that hey, she went through a trauma not to long ago as well and maybe she is not as okay with it as we thought?

Also it shows Bobby’s double standard again, but then I think he would have reacted differently if the guy had died and it was evident Hen realised she should never pull a stunt like that again. And maybe I’m giving Bobby a bit to much credit right now. Urgh.

I do wanna say, while Chimney seemed fine at the end with what went down we did see his reaction in the next episode and honestly he is mad, it’s just that Hen is his best friend and Chimney lives on the principle of forgive and forget so there.

Now I do really like the rope rescue scene because it was badass and also because Eddie seems so done in the beginning and Bobby just looks at him like: well, he’s not doing it alone and he’s probably not gonna cut his rope!

(Also notice how Eddie cut his rope willingly but Buck’s was cut for him? What does that mean? - For reals, I may see the connection but I can’t yet make out the meaning.)

But I did appreciate Hen’s comments about them being their best guys a lot! I kind of want an episode like they used to do on Star Trek were they focus on background characters and give us the way everyone probably sees Buddie as some kind of superhuman supermen who pull the craziest stunts and somehow make it! And now, let’s get into Evan!

First of, I now Cindy was meant as a parallel to Abby but I also think to Ali because Abby didn’t leave because she couldn’t handle the fear but Ali did. So there, a sort of Ali Martin mention! Thanks for listening, Tim.

But of course with everything else Cindy is quite the parallel to Abby from the way she just left and Red never really got closure, just like Buck.

What is interesting though is that Red, different to Buck, doesn’t want closure. He wants to remember the good times and imagine what could have been. (This could of course be due to the fact that his life is about to end.)

Buck on the other hand side really craves closure, and look, I know when we first learned she is definitely coming back I was really unhappy about that, but since then we learned they run into each other which makes it fine to me. Because I thought we’d have another instance of Buck running after Abby for validation and I did not want that. But he’s not actually running after her, it’s just a coincidence so I’m happy for him getting a chance to have closure, finally.

And this is were I think the episode proofs that it’s not about romantic love as the only way to be fulfilled, first because after talking about Abby Buck asks „Do you think I’m lonely?“ which is not about romance at all (had they wanted to make it about love it would have been: „Do you think I’ll find love again?“ or something). Also the conclusion of this episode is Maddie telling Buck he is different to Red because he has her (and in general those scenes between them, yes, they were also about Abby because she was another person Buck has been left by but just like they mention a best friend in terms of people Maddie left behind it is not about the romantic aspect, it is about people he loves in general), because he has a sister and she won’t leave him again - so there, familial love! The pinky swear! The importance of family. (see 3.11)

Also had it really been about love you know what would have happened since then? We’d have seen Buck calling Abby! Maddie would have said something about Buck still being young and having time to meet someone! Instead Abby and Buck run into each other by accident and Maddie makes a pinky swear to never leave again, so yeah, I just think sometimes we need to wait for how stuff plays out before we judge.

Now of course I wanna mention the pool scene as well.

Firstly, I know we already traced a lot of what Buck says at the end back to Eddie and the grocery store but did ya’ll here Chimney say: „Seems like your making this about yourself“ and Bobby implying the same thing, so yeah, I wonder if it was them quoting Eddie or if this is what everyone is supposed to be thinking or if it was just a setup for the breakdown at the end.

Also let’s talk about Eddie real quick here, because I found it really weird that they didn’t reference his platoon from Afghanistan here? Like they could have easily have him say „I’m not in the army anymore but I still talk to my old platoon.“, especially since we MET them one episode before. So either they didn’t think of that, they wanted to reinforce the fear Buck has or Eddie may just be as lonely as Buck?

(Guess which way I’m leaning?)

(Look, children are great but they are no substitute for friends and adult conversation, just saying!)

But I love how hard Mr. Stoic and emotionally unavailable tries to reassure Buck, tries to be there for him. And also did ya’ll notice how, once Eddie speaks for the first time Buck’s focus never strays from him. Hen and Chimney and Bobby talk as well but it seems as if Buck never looked away from Eddie. (Which, definitely get that, he looked good here.) Also how Buck stresses the “That better not happen to us“ - man, what conversation could he be referencing? Man, I wish I had memorised this show by now so I could tell you about two scenes that happened in 3A between Buddie where the topic of us was emphasised a lot but alas I don’t and I can’t.

What the pool scene also proofs once more is that the 118 just like an actual family has a lot of communication issues because Hen and Chimney not being in contact with Tommy or so is a completely different situation but because of their bad communication they don’t realise that this is something they need to explain to Buck because they think this is about Red.

Bobby doesn’t get it either tbh.

But we all know who does, look, I said it about 3.03 and I’ll say it now: Eddie knows Buck. Eddie understands Buck. And Eddie is on the path of realising that Buck needs him to say the actual words and not just let his actions speak! And my my if all of this pays off I will be one happy camper! (Hums Rihanna “We found love in a hopeless place”)

On a sidenote I hate that Red pegged Buck as a hothead because he really really isn’t! He’s just excitable and sometimes struggles with expressing himself and that frustrates him!

Also I never noticed the apartment had an outside area? did we know this? There is a grill?

Also really would love to see Gigi / Dana Strattford again, I liked her, she’s pretty! (But not like to date one of my guys, Tim, kay?)

(Also whats Officer Williams up to these days? Asking for … a friend?)

And to round this episode up: Oliver still looked so sick at times and they put a lot more makeup on him than they normally do? Usually you can see the slight scaring on his face but this episode you couldn’t but you could see the tears / snot mixing with all the makeup when he was crying and honestly, not his best look! (He still makes it work, though! Just saying, I miss 1.02 / 3.02 / 3.03 Buck, I know these episodes hurt but visually they are peak!)

Episode 3.17:

Was that episode amazing? Yes.

Am I still cackling about Oliver Stark having too much leg? Yes.

Did I love the Frank mention with all my heart? Yes.

Was Michael’s meet cute in an elevator less gay than any Buddie scene we got so far specifically any in 2.01 also known as their meet-ugly? That was a rhetorical question, you guys.

As for that comment I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. I mean, if you’re a single guy and you get invited out to fifth wheel at a double date with your sister and her boyfriend and his best friend and her wife, no matter how close you are, you will feel awkward so of course you invite the other single guy who happens to be your best friend who happens to be part of the friendgroup AND the team you’re working with making this a definite team/family/work - outing.

That being said: it took me 23h to come up with a reasonable explanation for this comment and I did scream at my laptop and pause the episode after it was made and I have been thinking “Buddie” confirmed about 100 times since then!

Also, they just spent a shit ton of time together, right? Like, if Buck’s there than so is Eddie and if Eddie is there than so is Buck and I’m clowning and not calm anymore!

Maybe “Buck invites Eddie” can be our always?

In other news this episode has absolutely no relevance for anything, but I love it deeply.

And we made it you guys! It was slower going but it worked!

Thank you to everyone who read so far and thank you to everyone who has been liking and reblogging and commenting! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much this means to me!

(Also please keep doing that! I too am an excitable puppy looking for validation!)

Now, to tag:

@angelcamael, @greyhello, @ipleiade, @the-family-we-choose-118 @chimbuckleys @sevensoulmates

#buddie meta #buck meta #eddie meta #911 meta #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #911 fox #season 3 #textpost #mine #meta #buck #my meta

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bakubabes-tatakae · 4 years

Text

The Uchiha In The Leaves (Part Four)

Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be in a taglist for this feel free to let me know! Happy to do it for anyone!

(Kakashi Hatake x Reader)

Summary: What happens when Y/N finally returns to the Village Hidden in the Leaves? Her life is flipped upside down when not only does she find the man that’s awaited her return, but she finds someone she thought she’d never see again.

AO3 Link

Part One, Part Two:*NSFW Ahead!*, Part Three

Part Four:

Word Count: 5055

*Kakashi's P.O.V*

As the kids ran through the woods their mission was clear, they were becoming seasoned, they knew what they were doing. They all answered Y/n and I when our voices emerged through their earpieces.

Sasuke’s brooding voice was heard first. “This is Sasuke, I’m at point B.”

The bubbly pink-haired Genin spoke next. “It’s Sakura, I’ve made it to point C.”

And finally the number-one knuckle head Genin. “Naruto, I’m at point A. Believe it.”

I scolded Naruto through the headset. His response should have come sooner. If we were out of the village on a real mission we would have assumed something had happened to him. “You’re slow Naruto.”

As I attempted to scold him further Y/n cut me off. “Okay, squad seven. The target is moving, follow it.”

The kids all surrounded a lone bush. I watched them closely, they all had determination in their eyes. “What’s your distance from the target?”

Naruto was first to answer me this time, clearly learning his lesson. “Five meters, I’m ready, just give the signal.”

Sasuke nodded. “I’m ready too.”

Sakura blushed as she watched Sasuke intently. “So am I.”

“Okay, now!” The kids all sprang for the bush, each wrestling a small brown cat. Naruto was the first of them to grab and not let it slip. He hugged it tightly so I changed my focus to Sasuke. “Can you verify the ribbon on the right ear?”

He turned back toward Naruto, taking a glance at the cat. “Affirmative, we’ve got a positive ID.”

Y/n gushed with excitement, grabbing my arm and squeezing. “Right, lost pet, Tora, captured. Mission accomplished!”

Naruto was never pleased with the missions we picked for them. The cat hissed as Naruto spoke about it. “Can’t we get a better mission than this! I hate cats!”

* * * * * *

When we got back with Tora the owner was overjoyed to see her. The cat writhed with anger as her owner’s grip around it tightened and she made it a pancake as she squeezed it to her face. It screamed at her as she squeezed it, the owner none the wiser.

The five of us stood before her, Naruto still brewing about the hiss he had gotten in the woods. “Dumb cat.” He laughed at himself. ‘He deserves to get squashed.”

Sakura’s look turned to horror. “No wonder he ran away.”

We made our way to the Hokage to get our next mission. Our leader spoke to us. “Now then, for squad seven’s next mission we have several available tasks. Among them; babysitting the chief counselors three year old, helping his wife do the shopping, digging up potatoes, and-”

Our faces turned to cringe as Naruto spoke over him. “NO! I want a real mission. Something challenging and exciting, not this little kid stuff! Come on old man!”

I was dumbfounded by Naruto’s actions, not that it should have surprised me. Nothing Naruto did surprised me anymore, I was accustomed to his stupidity.

Y/n looked over at him, trying to ease the tension a little. “Naruto, enough.”

Suddenly Iruke stood up and slammed his hands on the table before us, jumping the five of us. “How dare you?! You’re just a new Genin with no experience, like everything else you start with a simple mission to work on your skills and prove yourself!”

Something was bothering Naruto today, we could all tell as he fought back. “Are you serious? Babysitting is not a mission, it’s just stupid…”

I lifted my fist and sunk it into the top of Naruto’s head, he fell to the ground holding his head, a welt already starting to grow. Y/n and I were never going to hear the end of this one. “Will you put a lid on it?”

The Hokage’s look had never faltered as he looked on at Naruto. “Naruto, it seems you do not understand the task you have been given.” Naruto stopped rubbing the welt on his head, silencing his bellyaching, to look up at the Hokage. “Listen, many kinds of tasks come into our village every day, from babysitting to assassinations. These requests are carefully recorded and analyzed.” He lifted a hand to point at the scrolls in front of him. “They are ranked A, B, C, or D, depending on their difficulty. We ninja are also ranked by ability. Hokage at the top, Jonin, Chunin, and Genin at the bottom. At the highest level we pick missions and assign them to ninja with the proper experience. If the mission is successful we receive a fee that supports our village and our work. Since you are untried Genin, just starting down the Shinobi path; you are given D level assignments, of course.”

The five of us had zoned out during the Hokage’s speech, beginning our own conversation, regretting it not too long after as the Hokage’s booming voice was heard above ours. “SILENCE!” The anger was clear on his face.

I placed my hand on the back of my head, rubbing it. “Oh… sorry.”

Y/n smiled an apologetic smile toward him.

Naruto’s next wisecrack of the day escaped his lips. “You always lecture me like you’re my grandfather or something. But, I’m not that little bra that used to pull pranks all the time. I’m a ninja now, I want a ninja mission.” He turned around and sat down, sulking.

Y/n shot a glare at Naruto before turning to me. “We’re going to hear about this later.”

I rubbed my head nervously again. “Yea, we are.”

The Hokage chuckled. A huge surprise to us all. “Naruto wanted us to know that he’s not a brat, just a former brat, and he wants a mission. So be it.” Y/n and I looked up at him with wide eyes. “Since you are determined I’m going to give you a C ranked mission. You’ll be bodyguards on a journey.”

Naruto turned back around to face him. “Really? Yes!” He jumped up. “Who, who? Are we guarding a princess? Or some big wig counselor?”

“Don’t be so impatient. I’ll bring him in now.” He looked to his right. “Send in our visitor.”

A bigger man in a sun hat, clearly intoxicated and barely able to make coherent sentences came out. “What the? A bunch of snot nosed kids?” He took another swig from his bottle. “And you, the little on, with the idiotic look on your face, you really expect me to believe you’re a ninja?”

Naruto laughed as he looked between both of his fellow Genin. “Who’s the little one with the idiotic look on his…” Realization hit him as he realized he was the smallest.

Naruto tried to run at him and I grabbed the back of his jacket, holding him back with ease. A sigh left my lips. “You can’t demolish the client Naruto. It doesn’t work that way.”

He took another swig. “I am Tazuna and I’m a master bridge builder. I must return to my country. I’m building a bridge there that will change our world and I expect you to get me there safely, even if it means giving up your life.”

* * * * * *

As we reached the outer gates Naruto was the first one out, dashing through the gates and jumping around. “Yea! Alright!”

Sakura’s annoyance was all over her face. “What are you getting so excited about Naruto?”

“This is the first time I’ve ever left the village. I’m a traveler now, believe it!”

Tazuna was not amused by Naruto’s antics. He looked toward me. “Am I supposed to trust my life with this runt? He’s a joke.”

I chuckled. “He’s with me and I’m a Jonin, along with Y/n. She’s just a Jonin from another village. No need to worry.”

Naruto turned around and pointed directly at Tazuna. “Hey, never insult a ninja, it’s a big mistake. And I’m one of the greatest ninja ever. Someday I’m going to be Hokage and you’ll look up to me. My name is Naruto Uzumaki. Remember it!”

Tazuna took another drink. “Hokages are powerful and wise, you are puny and brainless. The day you become Hokage, I’ll sprout wings and fly.”

“Shut up!” I’m willing to do anything to become Hokage, no matter what it takes. And when I do everyone will have to admit that I’m the top ninja, including you!”

“You can become Hokage ten times over and to me you’ll still be a nobody, a loser.”

“I’m going to make you pay for that right now.”

Naruto jumped at him and Y/n and I both grabbed his backpack. I was getting annoyed with the two of them already. “I told you Naruto, you’re supposed to protect the client, not attack him.”

Y/n looked over at me as Tazuna started to walk away. “Well he is kind of being an ass.”

I made an agreeing noise so that I didn’t encourage Naruto.

As we walked Sakura tried to make conversation with the bridge builder. “Hey, Mr. Tazuna, can I ask you a question?”

“What is it?”

“Your land is the Land of Waves right?”

“Yea. What of it?”

She turned to me. “Kakashi-Sensei, there are ninja in that land too, aren’t there?”

I looked over, happy that I could teach them something and keep them from causing more trouble with the client. “No, there are no ninja in the Land of Waves, but in other countries there are hidden villages, each with their own different customs and cultures where ninja reside.”

“To the people of this continent the existence of Shinobi villages means strength. In other words, that’s how they protect themselves and maintain the balance of power with neighboring countries. The ninja villages are not controlled by any government. They’re independent and have equal status.

“Now a small island like the Land of Waves has natural protection from the sea, so there’s no need for a ninja village. The five ancient lands that possess Shinobi villages are the Lands of Fire, Water, Lightning, Wind, and Earth. They each occupy vast territories. Together they are known as the five Great Shinobi Nations.”

“The Land of Fire had the Village Hidden in the Leaves. The Land of Lightning had the Village Hidden in the Clouds. The Land of Wind had the Village Hidden in the Sand. The Land of Earth had the Village Hidden in the Stones.”

Y/n cut me off. “The Land of Water has the Village Hidden in the Mist. That’s where I came from after my Clan was wiped out. THat’s where I became a Jonin.”

I started again. “Only the leaders from these villages are permitted the name Kage, which means shadow. Hokage, Mizukage, Raikage, Kazekage, Tsuchikage. These are the leaders, the five shadows that rein over thousands of ninja.”

Sakura was elated. “Then Lord Hokage is really important.”

They all stared straight ahead and I spoke up. “Hey! You all just doubted Lord Hokage, didn’t you.’ They all shared the same nervous look. “That’s what you were thinking.” Sakura and Naruto shook their heads furiously. I placed my hand on Sakura’s head. “Well, anyway, there are no ninja battles in C ranked missions, so you can relax.”

Sakura looked up at me. “And we’re not going to run into any foreign ninja or anything like that?”

I laughed. “Not likely.”

* * * * * *

As we got further and further the group got quieter and quieter. Nobody knew what to talk about anymore. Y/n and I walked at the back of the group. Every so often I would take her hand when no one was looking, holding it for a couple of minutes. I noticed something as we walked. I slowed Y/n down and turned our attention. THere was a single puddle in the middle of the diry, it hadn’t rained in weeks. We both slowly started to walk again. Suddenly we heard noises behind us. I was the first to turn around. There were two ninja coming toward me with chains. “What?” The chains wrapped around me and I felt myself get squeezed. As soon as I was able to, I used my substitution jutsu and jumped into a tree. Time to see what these kids could really do.

I probably should have told Y/n my place before we started, but maybe her panic being real will kick the kids into gear. Y/n looked around, her head moving a mile a minute. “Kakashi!” The fear on her face manifested deep. She never fought alone, she refused to since the Uchiha massacre. I knew she could do this without me, she didn’t need me as much as she thought she did.

She had not fought solo or been in a situation where she had to since the night that Itachi attacked her family. I could see her panic setting in more as she looked around, her gaze searching for Sasuke. The two ninja appeared behind Naruto.

They spoke to them with a menacing tone, trying to get him riled up. “Now it’s your turn.”

Naruto turned around. They got their chains ready to whip and lunged at him. Naruto froze in place and from out of nowhere the Uchiha siblings got to work, finding strength in each other. Y/n hollered to Sakura. “Protect Tazuna, Sakura.” Sakura jumped in front of him and stretched her arms out. Sasuke and Y/n jumped into the air. Y/n took out a ninja star and caught the end of both of their chains, spiking them into a tree. She was using Sasuke being there to get her through feeling alone, she had a look of pleasure on her face and the sound of the ninja star embedding in the tree rang out. Sasuke came from behind her with a kunai, putting it through the center of the ninja star to keep them in place. I hadn’t seen better teamwork in a long time. The Uchiha siblings were beginning to be an incredible team.

With Sasuke around, Y/n seemed almost calm while she fought. Both ninja tried to pull their chains out. Sasuke landed on both their arms and kicked them both in the face, causing them to fall backwards, yanking their chains out of the mechanisms on their arms. Just as Y/n and Sasuke thought they had them they split ways. Y/n let Sasuke stay the course he was since it was easier for her to change her ways. One of them headed right for Sakura and Tazuna. Sasuke jumped down in front of them. The other was headed for Naruto again. Y/n soared for Naruto, landing in front of him.

As the Uchiha hit the ground in front of Naruto I saw the rage that I had seen in her eyes the day that she left the village to find Itachi. She would soon become unfocused, it was time for me to intervene. Y/n lunged at the ninja, she wasn’t thinking anymore. As she lunged the ninja grabbed her arm and flung her against a tree on the other side of him. She hit hard and collapsed on the ground.

I jumped down from the tree I was in and lunged, grabbing the two ninja by the necks, standing in front of everybody. They all stared at me with blank expressions. “Hi.” Sasuke's face turned from blank to unimpressed. “Naruto, sorry I didn’t help you right away. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I just didn’t think you’d freeze up like that.” I walked over to Sauke. “Good job Sasuke, very smooth.” I looked over at Sakura, smiling. “You too, Sakura.” I began to talk before I turned around. “And you, Y/n, I’m glad that you’re now-”

Y/n was still laying on the ground by the tree. I hadn’t noticed that she hadn’t gotten back up. That wasn’t like her. I began to worry a little. “Y/n?”

Sasuke looked over to where she was. “Y/n?” He pushed me out of the way and ran over to her. He dropped next to her, panic filled his voice. “Y/n, are you okay?” She didn’t respond to him. She must have been knocked unconscious by the hit.

I tied the two ninja up before I ran over to her. “Move Sasuke, she’s just unconscious.” I took the water bottle that I had attached to my side and splashed water on her face.

With a jolt Y/n sat up, she winced and grabbed her side. “Crap, my rib.” She tried to stand up, but wobbled but wobbled and fell back down.

I slowed her down. “Hang on, relax a second. You were unconscious.”

Sasuke crawled closer to her as she reached out for him. You could read the terror on his face like a book. Since they had found each other Y/n was his weakness and he along with myself was hers. She pulled him in and reassured him. “I’m fine Sasuke, it’s just a rib. I’ve had worse… trust me.” He smiled and we both held her stand up.

When he was calmed down he looked over at Naruto, ready to taunt him. “Hey,”

Naruto looked up. “Yea?”

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Sarcasm painted his voice. “Scaredy cat.”

Naruto went to step forward at Sasuke and I stopped him, noticing his head. “Naruto, stand still, these ninja have poison in their claws. We need to take it out of you quickly. You have to open the wound and remove it.”

Naruto looked panicked now. I knew he was scared, but it was the only way to save him. “It’s in your blood so don’t move around, that spreads the poison.” I redirected my voice. “By the way, Mr. Tazuna.”

He jumped as I talked to him. “Yea, what?”

“We need to talk.” We all stood around the two tied to the tree. “They’re Chunin from the Village Hidden in the Mist. Their specialty is relentless attack. They’ll keep fighting no matter what the sacrifice.”

One of the ninja spoke up. “How did you know about our ambush?”

“A puddle on a clear day? When it hasn’t rained in weeks?”

Tazuna sounded angry. “In that case, why did you leave it to the Genin and the panicky Jonin to do that fighting?”

Y/n glared at him and the ninja on the three spoke, taunting her. “Y/n, he would be so ashamed that the one he trained turned out to be such a wimp. He’d be so disappointed.” Y/n turned around and stared daggers at the ninja who was chuckled. Who were they talking about?

Y/n lunged at them a little and I grabbed her arm, stopping her from hitting the two men. “Shut up you disgraces. My thirteen year old brother just whipped your asses.”

I spoke back to Tazuna, ignoring what had just happened. “I could have taken them out quickly, but then I’d have learned nothing. I need the kids to see how real the situation was too, that’s why I didn’t say anything to Y/n.” I felt her glare on me. “I had to know how their target was and what they were after.”

“What are you getting at?”

“I wanted to know whether they were after us; ninja attack ninja, or if they were after you; the master bridge builder. When you put in the request you asked for standard protection from robbers and highwaymen. You didn’t say there were ninja looking for you, hunting you down.”

Y/n saw where I was going so she joined in. “If we had known it would have been a B ranked mission or higher. Our task was simply to get you to your destination and protect you while you finished building your bridge. If we knew we were wielding attacks from enemy ninja we would have staffed differently and charged for a B ranked mission.”

I stopped Y/n, seeing how angry she was getting. “Apparently you have your reasons, but lying to us is not acceptable. We are now beyond the scope of this mission.” I tried to make myself sound like an authority figure.

Sakura tried to sound apologetic. “We’re Genin, this mission is too advanced for our training. We should go back. And I really think we should get Naruto back and treat his wound. We have to get the poison out as soon as possible. Back in our village we can take him to a doctor.”

“Naruto’s hand could become a problem. I guess we should go back to the village.”

We all saw Naruto’ hand raise and come back down, the kunai in it slicing open his palm. “Why am I so different? Why am I always…” He turned away from us.

We all stood in shock except for Sakura. She ran toward him. “Naruto! Stop that! What are you doing?” Naruto went off, rambling as the feeling of being a burden washed over him. “I worked so hard to get here. Pushing myself until it hurts. Training alone for hours. Anything to get stronger, to reach my dreams. I will never back down again and let someone else rescue me. I will never run away. I will not lose to Sasuke.” At the sound of her brother’s name being mentioned Y/n smiled a little. “Upon this wound I made this pledge. Believe it. Bridge builder, I’ll complete this mission and protect you with this kunai knife.” He turned back toward us with the knife still in his hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” Determination littered his face.

I was growing concerned. He was losing a lot of blood. “Naruto, that was really cool how you took the poison out and all, but if you lose anymore blood… you’re going to die.”

Panic rippled through Naruto’s body and Y/n started to walk toward him. “Give me your hand, it’s a good idea to stop the bleeding now. Seriously.”

His panic spread even more. “No, no, no, I’m too young to let it all end like this.”I snapped at him in an attempt to snap him out of it.

“Naruto, show Y/n your hand.”Naruto ran over to Y/n, terror in his eyes. “Help, help, help.”

Sakura’s anger with Naruto grew. “Naruto, you’ve got a self abusive personality. It’s called masochism.”

Y/n took his hand and stared. When I noticed she was just staring I looked over. “Kakashi,” She motioned for me.

I walked over and we both stared at his hand. Naruto noticed that we weren’t doing anything and got worried. “Uhm, you guys have a really serious look on your faces. Am I okay?”

I grabbed some bandages from my bag and handed them to Y/n. She tried to calm him while she worked. “Yea, you should be fine.”

He sighed with relief and looked over at me before thanking Y/n and walking away.

As we got farther down the path everyone seemed to calm down from the event before. Y/n and I hung back, talking about what had just happened, careful that no one could hear us. She spoke first. “What would make the mist ninja come after him?”

“Maybe he owes them something, that’s the only thing that I can think of. Nothing else really explains it. What did they mean when they said that ‘he’ would be disappointed in you? What are they talking about?”

“That’s a long story that I can’t explain right now. It had something to do with when I was in the Village Hidden in the Mist.” She stopped and gave me a small, weak smile before continuing.

“What made Naruto heal that fast Kashi?” Y/n only ever called me by my pet name when no one was around.

“I can’t explain that now either. I’ll tell you tonight when everyone’s asleep as long as you tell me about what the mist ninja meant.” She gave me a look of worry before agreeing.

* * * * * *

Tazuna finally led us to the edge of the water, heading to where his bridge was going to be. We hopped onto a boat and settled in. I sat on the farthest end with Y/n next to me. The boat was crammed so me having my arm around her shoulders didn’t seem like a big deal. It was something we could get away with this time.

There was fog all around us. It was the protection for this small village. Sakura was scared. “The fog is so thick, you can’t see anything.”

The person steering the boat spoke in a whisper. “The bridge isn’t far now. Our destination is just ahead. The Land of Waves.”

We all looked forward, not able to see anything through the fog. When Naruto was finally able to see something he hollered. “Woah, it’s huge!”

The driver got angry with him. “Quiet! I told you no noise.” He was whisper yelling back at him. “Why do you think we’re traveling like this, huh? Cutting the engine and rowing, moving through the dense fog. It’s so they don’t see us.”

Naruto covered his mouth and seemed apologetic. I looked over at the bridge builder. “Mr. Tazuna, before we reach the pier I want to ask you something. The men who are after you, I need to know why. If you don’t tell us I’m afraid I’ll have to end this mission when we drop you ashore.”

Tazuna was annoyed. “I have no choice but to tell you. No, I want you to know the truth. Like you said, this is beyond the scope of the original mission. The one who seeks my life is a very short man who casts a long and deadly shadow.”

Y/N looked up. “A deadly shadow? Who is it?”

“You know him, at least I’m sure you’ve heard his name before. He’s one of the wealthiest men in the world. The shipping magnate, Gato.”I had heard that name before. “Gato? Of Gato transport? He’s a business leader, everyone knows him.” I was in shock.“Gato. He’s a very famous tycoon from a company that’s true, but below the surface, with the same ruthless methods he uses to get businesses and nations, he sells drugs and contraband. He uses gangs and ninja. It was one year ago when Gato first set his sight on the Land of Waves. He came to our island and used his vast wealth to take control of our transport and shipping. Anyone who tried to stand in his way simply disappeared. In an island nation a man who controls the sea controls everything. Finance, government, our very lives, but there’s one thing he fears. The bridge, when it’s complete, will join us to the land and that will break his control. I am the bridge builder.”

Sakura was putting the pieces together. “So that’s it? Since you’re the bridge builder you’re getting in this gangster’s way?”

Sasuke looked over at Y/N and I. “That means those guys in the woods, they’re working for Gato.”

Y/N looked over at him again. “I don’t understand, if you knew that he was dangerous, knew he’d send ninja to eliminate you, why did you hide that from us?”

“Because the Land of Waves is a small, impoverished nation. Even our nobles have little money. They are common people that are building this bridge, they can’t pay for an A or B ranked mission. It’s too expensive. If you end the mission when you drop me ashore there will be no bridge. They assassinate me before I reach home. Don’t feel bad about that, of course, my sweet little grandson will be upset. He’d cry 'Grandad, I want my Grandad’ and my daughter will condemn the ninja of the Hidden Lead, denouncing and blaming you for abandoning her and father and living her life in sorrow.”

Of course he would bring up kids and grandkids. Anything to sucker us in.

“Oh well. It’s not your fault, forget it.”

I rubbed my forehead through my headband and looked down at Y/N, who had sunken down in the boat further. “Well, I guess we have no choice. We’ll have to keep guarding you."

Y/N looked up at me and then held her arm out to Sasuke, who leaned over on her, sighing.

"I’m very grateful.” Tazuna smiled.

Y/N grabbed at her side and winced a little. I looked over at her. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“I’m not leaving you guys, I’ll be fine.” She sat back up and winced some more. She was in a great deal of pain, she had to have been to show it. “It’s an old injury, it’s just been hit again.”

I knew what she had meant by 'old injury’. It was something that had happened while she was saving Sasuke from Itachi, but she would never let him know this.

The driver spoke. “We’re approaching the shore, Tazuna.” He looked down. “We’ve been fortunate, no one has noticed us so far.”

“Nice going.” Tazuna appeased him.

* * * * * *

The Land of Waves came into sight as we went through a small tunnel. When we reached the pier we all climbed out of the boat. We thanked the driver who then wished us luck and drove back off. Tazuna turned to us. “Take me to my home and by that I mean get me there in one piece.”

Y/N and I hung back some again so we could talk as everyone else sped up ahead. I looked over at her and I knew she could hear the concern in my voice. “The next ninja they send won't be Chunin, they’ll be Jonin, like us.”

“These guys aren’t ready to fight Jonin level ninja, Kakashi. They don’t have the skills. They could barely take on us at subpar.” She was starting to get her panicked voice back.

“Keep yourself calm or the kids will notice Y/N.” I put my hand on her back since no one was looking.

Seeming to relax, she looked back up at me. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just worried about who they’re going to send. They’ve got some pretty tough Jonin in the Mist Village. I can think of one in particular.” She had known this personally.

Taglist 💕 @nubiadethemyscira @nimeryaa @o-franzii-o @chidori-mint

Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight: *NSFWish Ahead!*

Updated 5/8/2020

115 notes · View notes

ladylynse · 4 years

Text

Perception: [FF| AO3] Valerie always took seeing colour for granted—until the day it went away. Soulmate AU (colours), Gray Ghost

Happy birthday, @ave-aria! You wanted a soulmate colours AU with Gray Ghost, and I swear once you get past the angst, happy endings exist. I promise.

-|-

Valerie couldn’t remember a world without colour.

She hadn’t realized that she was different from anyone else at first. She hadn’t realized, for instance, that she saw colour where Star and Paulina and the rest of her friends did not. She had thought that perhaps colour was something different, something more.

She didn’t realize she’d had something to lose, not something to gain, until one afternoon the summer before grade nine. Between one blink and the next, the wondrous thing she now realized was colour vanished. Everything was less. Dull, bland, bleak, faded.

Washed out.

Forever.

The realization—the implication—caught her breath in her throat and spilled out as tears from her eyes.

Despite the vastness of the world, despite the fact that she had barely travelled outside of Amity Park, she had already met her soulmate—and they had died before she’d ever had a chance to know who they were.

She might be able to have a happy life with a similar unfortunate soul, but it would never be on the level it could have been, had she found her soulmate before this. Had she been able to be with them before all this, maybe even prevented their death.

But now they were gone, and there was nothing she could do except scan the obituaries in the coming days to see if she could find someone who was unclaimed. If she couldn’t find someone, or if there was more than one— She’d never know.

She’d never know who her soulmate was supposed to be.

Never know what life she should have had.

The light they had brought her had gone out of the world, taking the wondrous array of colours with it.

Valerie wiped at her eyes, but tears still turned the world into a swirl of grey. She didn’t know how long she cried, aching from a loss she’d never fully known. At some point she’d moved to her bed, burying herself in blankets as if imagining all the colour and light in her world were still there, would be there again once she let herself out of her self-imposed darkness, but she couldn’t bring herself to look.

When her father got home and found her, she couldn’t force the words past her throat and explain.

But it was the anniversary of the day her mother had died, the day her father had lost his soulmate, and he thought there was nothing more to explain.

They sat in silence, and Valerie eventually fell asleep.

XXXXXX

When Valerie woke, she opened her eyes to colour.

She didn’t understand it. She knew she hadn’t just dreamt its absence yesterday, yet….

Yet it was back, inexplicably but undeniably. She’d never heard of colour returning. It exploded into being the moment you met your soulmate, and it disappeared with death, extinguished with the other’s final breath.

She picked up the paper each day after her father had read it, just in case, but she recognized none of the names in the obits, and every person whose date of death matched her experience already had a soulmate.

By the end of the week, she very carefully, very strategically, wondered aloud if anyone had ever found colour again after the loss of their soulmate. Her heart leapt when Damon told her he’d heard stories of such things, though he hadn’t experienced it himself or personally knew of someone to which it had happened. But as he kept talking, explaining that colour grew into the worlds of those living with and loving someone other than their soulmate, that the richness of the hues deepened as their bonds grew stronger, even if they would never reach the vibrancy of a true soulmate, the sinking feeling in her chest returned.

She hadn’t needed to go back out into the world and meet someone before the colour had come back to her.

Whatever had happened was different.

XXXXX

It didn’t take Valerie long to realize that the colour was unstable. Between one breath and the next, it could vanish entirely. Sometimes, the world became filtered, bleached but not entirely devoid of colour. As far as she could tell, there was no rhyme or reason to it. No schedule, no pattern, nothing set off by her action or inaction or even her thoughts.

She was getting used to it. She wasn’t jerking like she first had, and she’d only screamed the first time the colour had disappeared again. It wasn’t giving her a headache any longer, either; sometimes, if the colour wasn’t there or wasn’t right, she simply imagined it as she knew it should be. It helped. Somewhat.

Not enough to keep her father from worrying, nor her friends and teachers.

She began to lie.

She didn’t know the truth, but she knew it had something to do with her soulmate.

She just didn’t know what.

Even if they were dying, lying in a hospital somewhere, balanced between life and death…. It should have settled by now, one way or another. It had been a month.

When the ghost attacks began, Valerie wasn’t as scared as she knew she should be. When her world turned grey again, it was nothing she hadn’t experienced before. The ghost attacks were new, of course, but she was already dealing with one impossible, inexplicable problem. Ghosts turning up in town when she knew Fenton’s parents were ghost hunters was hardly unexpected.

She hadn’t expected the supposed town hero to ruin her life, though.

And she definitely hadn’t expected to see his eyes blazing green when she first encountered him, nor to begin seeing shades of the same colour afterwards even when the rest of the world was grey.

It was enough to stay her initial swell of hatred long enough to listen to him. She didn’t regret it. As it turned out, she really hadn’t known the entire story. Of course, she suspected Phantom wasn’t telling her everything, but she thought she might be able to earn his trust and hear the rest eventually.

And it made her want to help him, if only in her own way.

Ghost hunting seemed like a sound enough release of her frustration at the hand she’d been dealt. It would keep her sharp, keep her fit, and—even if she planned to remain masked—give her the satisfaction of playing the hero.

Doing something to protect her town, like her dad had.

It had taken her a while to convince Phantom to train her. He kept trying to tell her to go talk to Maddie Fenton—something about Jack’s aim being terrible—and tried to tell her that he wouldn’t always be there to protect her. But that was the point. He wouldn’t be. Which was why she wanted to be able to defend herself.

He gave her his thermos and let her practice on him, but she wanted more and made sure he knew it.

When he first handed her a Fenton Lipstick, she raised an eyebrow at him. He knew her question without her having to voice it. “You need an ecto-weapon if you’re going on the offensive,” he said, “and that’s small and easy to use. It’s a good starting point.”

It was a good starting point—point and shoot, lightweight, no recoil—but between persistence and practice, it didn’t take her long to master it. (Her words, not his. He thought she could be more precise—not just hit the target but hit the target exactly where she wanted to.) She wanted field training. He didn’t want her out on her own, yet he refused to go with her, claiming he wouldn’t be able to protect her.

He didn’t seem to understand that that was the point.

Months later, when he presented her with more stolen FentonWorks tech, she took the ecto-gun without question. She knew what the gift meant. He finally thought she was ready for an actual fight, and she didn’t plan on proving him wrong.

XXXXXXX

She didn’t have the nerve to bring up the subject of soulmates until much later, on a surprisingly calm summer night that found them both on their backs in the grass in the darkest part of the park, looking up at the sky.

Her world was a strange mix of filtered colour now, greens and purples jumping out with easy brilliance while other colours were trapped in prisons of grey. Sometimes they all returned, but they no longer all disappeared. She didn’t know what that meant—or if it even meant anything.

Phantom was a ghost—a coherent ghost, unlike some she’d met with him by her side—and while he was probably too young to have found his soulmate before the end, he might know some stories. He might know the solution to her problem.

Or the reason she had it in the first place.

“Phantom,” she said hesitantly, “have you ever seen colour?”

He was quiet for a moment, knowing what that question meant, and she thought he might not answer her at all—or laugh it off if he did and make some joke. Instead, he whispered, “Yes.” She turned her head to look at him, his soft glow making his features easy to pick out, but he kept his gaze firmly fixed on the stars above. “I always thought dying severed that connection between people, and it does, sort of. My world isn’t as colourful as it used to be. It’s…dulled, I guess.”

She pushed herself into a more upright position to get a better look at his face and repeated, “Dulled?” It didn’t sound like her world—so many colours were just gone altogether—but….

“They’re still there,” he explained, finally flicking his eyes to her and then pushing himself into a sitting position. She mirrored him, fully sitting up even as he turned his gaze down to his hands, fiddling with his fingers and tugging at his gloves. “All the colours. They’re just…washed out or faded or something. Mostly. I think…. I think spending so much time here might have helped me get some of it back. There aren’t a lot of ghosts who see in colour. Most…most are separated from their soulmates, if they ever found them.”

“And you’re not?”

He laughed. It sounded…bitter. Harsh. She wasn’t used to it. It was so unlike his usual light laugh. “I’m a ghost, and I think my soulmate is still alive. How much more separation can you get?”

“You think they’re still alive.” The words tightened something her chest and settled unpleasantly in her gut, though she couldn’t explain why. “Your soulmate is still out there, and you don’t know who they are.” It wasn’t the same with her. She knew her soulmate was gone; she’d have a happy approximation of it at best, and that’s all she allowed herself to want, except in her darker moments when she wondered what could have been. But Phantom…. “We can try to find them, you know.” It was harder to say those words, to make that offer, than she’d expected. “You’re a ghost, but…. You could at least be friends with them, right? Even if they’ll want to find someone else?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Finding them, I mean.”

Relief flooded her at those words, but the look on his face tempered it. He was afraid. Afraid, no doubt, of how his soulmate would react to the news. Of ruining their life with news of his afterlife. He still wanted the best for them, even though he didn’t know who they were. He was willing to spend his afterlife alone so he wouldn’t taint the happiness he assumed they’d find without him.

Valerie wasn’t much of a hugger, but she leaned over and wrapped her arms around Phantom anyway. He was stiff for a few terrified seconds before relaxing into her grip. He was more solid than she remembered, and…warmer, somehow, than he’d ever felt when he’d grabbed her to pull her out of harm’s way.

It was…nice.

She only felt a few tears soak into her shirt before the weight of him vanished from her grip and he was hovering above her. “I should go,” he said, his voice thick. He wiped at his eyes. “I…. I’ll do another quick patrol. You can go home.”

He vanished before she could find the words to protest.

Valerie had no way of stopping him, no way of tracking him back down, and instead flopped back down into the grass and stared back up at the starry sky.

She hadn’t noticed the transition, but she could pick out blues again—most evident by the clouds that threatened to obscure the moon—and she knew that meant something.

Her soulmate…. Something had changed. Getting better, perhaps? Maybe it had been a terrible accident, and they’d died on the operating table or something and been brought back to life, and now they were just…in a coma. Or something.

Except that didn’t explain why sometimes her vision was perfectly normal, as it always used to be.

And it didn’t explain why she hadn’t found any answers in the newspapers or online—be it in obits or the local news—when an accident that severe would’ve been reported on in a town as small as this.

She was still missing something.

And Phantom….

She didn’t know what to think about Phantom.

She should help him reconnect with his soulmate. It was the right thing to do, whether or not he could see it. They’d both be happier for it. If nothing else, it would give his soulmate some closure.

But she felt awful when she realized how happy she’d felt when he’d refused the idea. She treasured this time alone with him. If he found his soulmate again, that would change. It would have to change. And she didn’t want it to. She liked how things were, just the two of them.

She…cared for him.

More than she wanted to admit.

Even to herself.

XXXXXXX

The first time she saw red was the following fall. It wasn’t the autumn leaves that burst into brilliance around her; she’d have been too focused on the ghost fight to notice that. Trouble was, she hadn’t been focused enough. She’d made a mistake. She’d slipped on the ghost ice underfoot and went down.

She’d rolled, but she hadn’t been quite fast enough, and neither had he.

The ice shard only clipped her arm—she’d nearly dodged it, whatever he said—but it easily tore through her shirt and the fragile skin beneath. It had stung, sure, but she’d found her feet again and kept fighting. She hadn’t thought it was bad. She hadn’t even realized it was bleeding.

He’d managed to end the fight soon after that, finding strength and beating up the ice ghost she’d never seen before with an anger he usually managed to keep buried beneath bad puns. And when he came to her side, the first thing to fall from his lips was an apology. It wasn’t until he actually had both hands pressed to her arm that she finally felt the full force of the pain.

That’s when she’d noticed the red stain on her sleeve, visible even beneath his gloves, and realized she could feel every throbbing heartbeat.

“I think you need stitches,” he said. She could hear the underlying panic in his voice; he thought this was bad and didn’t want to say it more bluntly than he had to. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

Her dad would kill her if he found out what she was doing—well, not really, but he’d ground her until graduation. And their insurance wouldn’t cover this. Assuming they still had insurance after everything that had happened. “Just take me home. It’ll be fine.”

Phantom frowned at her.

“No hospitals,” she repeated.

“Then I’m taking you to FentonWorks,” he said.

She was too surprised to protest when he scooped her up. “What? Why there?”

“Mo—Maddie’s good at stitches. Better than Jazz. And even Sam. And…and I’m not sure I could keep a steady hand right now.”

Valerie knew Phantom was teaching the basics of ghost hunting to Sam and Tucker, too, (Danny presumably got enough of that from his parents) but he never wanted her to go along with them. He claimed it was because it would be too draining for all of them to be out all the time, that it was more effective for them to take turns going out because they had grades to maintain and homework to do and she had her job at the Nasty Burger, but she’d always gotten the feeling that he didn’t want her out with them. That it wasn’t a matter of safety or consideration for how much sleep they got or free time they had. That it wasn’t simply that he thought her worse, and needing the one-on-one time, or better, and able to handle more on her own. It was…something else.

Something he wasn’t saying.

Or something she wasn’t saying. Or doing. Or seeing. Something she didn’t know.

It wouldn’t bother her if she didn’t have the feeling that she was missing something. She liked having Phantom to herself, relishing the times it was just the two of them and they were relaxing together on a slow night. But the way he avoided her gaze whenever she brought it up….

Maybe it was just that Phantom didn’t want any of them overworked. And maybe Danny wanted Phantom to teach his friends instead of them being taught by his parents so he didn’t get roped into more ghost hunting when he didn’t like it, but for Phantom to just go directly to FentonWorks and not intend to sneak in for something….

“It’s too dangerous!” she finally forced out, but he ignored her and starting flying. It was fine at first, and then he started going fast, too fast, and—

He turned them intangible before she could say something, and she instead had the disquieting sensation of knowing that the tearing wind went right through her.

She shut her eyes and leaned into him, not trying to talk. She didn’t really want to fight him on this; he had a better eye for injuries than she did. He’d been doing this for longer. And even if he healed faster, he got hit worse, far too frequently, and remembered too much of human life to misjudge this for that reason.

He still might be overreacting, but that would be…sweet, sort of. And his concern might lead to more one-on-one sessions, which would be nice. Not that she didn’t want to hunt alongside Sam and Tucker one day, she did, but…. She liked having Phantom to herself. Just the two of them, patrolling the town, fighting ghosts. Or stargazing. Or just talking. Making jokes and telling stories and enjoying each other’s company.

She opened her eyes when he shifted her and she felt cloth beneath her. He’d laid her down on a couch. The Fentons’ living room? He’d just…barged in here? The home of ghost hunters? For her?

“I’ll find Maddie,” he said, and he dove through the floor. Like he fully expected her to be in the lab even this late at night, like it didn’t even occur to him that she’d probably be in bed like most people.

Valerie stared at the spot where he’d disappeared, realizing exactly how much he was risking right now. How much he was sacrificing. For her.

She kept her good hand pressed over the wound, finally accepting why she could see the red staining her fingers for what it was.

Phantom might not be her soulmate, but he might as well be.

He brought more than just colour into her life.

As for her actual soulmate, well, she was still convinced they must have died that day, if only briefly, and something had severed their connection. She couldn’t think of any other way to explain the fickleness of the colour in her world. And just like she didn’t want to search for Phantom’s living soulmate, she didn’t want to continue the search for hers, either, half-hearted though it had been for far more than a few months.

She heard glass shatter in the basement, and her ears filled with the blaring sound of alarms, but they stopped a moment later. And then she heard footsteps on the stairs, a door opening and closing, and the soft pad of footsteps on linoleum. Phantom came into the living room with Maddie on his heels. He pointed at her and started to explain, lies and truths coming out of his mouth in equal measure, but Valerie didn’t try to keep track of it. All she saw were the phase-proof Fenton Cuffs snapped around his wrists.

He'd traded his freedom to make sure she’d be okay.

And it…it broke her heart.

“Please, you have to let him go,” she said, but her voice only came out as a whisper.

Maddie ignored her, instead calling for her husband to bring one of their first aid kits, and gently nudged away Valerie’s hand to get a better look at the wound.

Phantom hovered anxiously in her peripheral vision, never trying to escape. Not when Jazz stumbled down the stairs in her housecoat to see what was going on, not when Jack emerged from the basement with more than just the first aid kit and started scanning her for traces of ecto-contamination because her wound had been sustained in a ghost fight, not when Maddie was focused on stitching her up. (Valerie wasn’t going to ever tell Phantom he had been right about her needing stitches, but if he tried to gloat, she’d just say they were a precaution, nothing more.) He was still there when Maddie told her she was going to call Damon, and he was still there when Jazz brought her a different pillow and a couple of blankets.

He was gone when she woke in the morning, though the fact that Jack was absent from the breakfast table made Valerie wonder if he’d gotten free and was trying to lose Mr. Fenton or if he’d simply been taken downstairs for proper containment. She hoped it was the former.

The world felt bleak without him here, knowing he could be in danger because of what he’d given up for her, and her filtered vision seemed to match her mood. No cheery yellows or oranges this morning, though it seemed she could see the other colours well enough.

Valerie was halfway through a bowl of dry cereal (Jazz had warned her not to trust the milk) when she suddenly realized someone else was conspicuously absent. “Where’s Danny?” Really, she was surprised he hadn’t stumbled downstairs last night with his sister.

“Sleepover at Tucker’s,” Jazz said, overriding Maddie’s comment that Danny was still asleep. “Something about a science project.”

Valerie frowned. “We don’t have a project in science.”

“Maybe it was English, then.”

“But we don’t— Ow!” Valerie shot a glare at Jazz. “What was that for?”

“What was what for?” Jazz asked innocently, as if she hadn’t very deliberately kicked her house guest.

Whatever. Valerie got the hint. “You’ve gotta be thinking of the American Revolution one we have in history.” She didn’t know what Danny was really up to, but if Jazz was on board, it wasn’t going to be anything too bad. Probably doing some additional training with Sam and Tucker on the whole ghost hunting thing. She knew neither Fenton kid believed all ghosts were evil like their parents, and Danny was probably afraid that showing too much interest would get him dragged out on hunts to take out ghosts like Phantom—ghosts that didn’t deserve to be hunted down, whatever his parents believed.

She could understand how avoiding a family argument seemed like the more preferable option, especially on that front.

Jazz nodded. “Yes, that was it.” She had her spoon halfway to her mouth, but with a glance at her mom’s back, she set it back down in her bowl. “Why don’t I drive you home, Valerie? Save you the walk.”

Right, it was Saturday. She’d lost track. She checked her watch; her shift at the Nasty Burger didn’t start till two. More than enough time for her to track down Phantom if he wanted to be found, assuming he’d gotten free. She’d find some excuse to come back and save him if he hadn’t. She owed him that much. The idea of him being trapped because of her…. It didn’t bear thinking about. But she couldn’t hear him screaming, and that had to be a good sign.

“That’d be great, thanks,” she said, smiling at Jazz. Then, with a glance at Mrs. Fenton, “Assuming I’m free to go?” Maddie’s examination when she’d woken this morning had been cursory at best.

“I think you’ll be fine, sweetie,” Maddie said, looking over at them from the sink, “but I would appreciate you dropping by so I can check on it again. And I really don’t believe the tale Phantom told us yesterday, so I would also appreciate the truth of how you got that in the first place.”

“Right,” Valerie mumbled, quickly getting to her feet and picking up the bowl. “I’ll, um, yeah, when we have more time. I should really be going now.” She dropped the bowl on the counter next to the sink. “Thanks for everything, really.”

She fled, and Jazz followed her.

XXXXX

Valerie didn’t want to ask Jazz if she knew what had happened to Phantom right away; she needed to have something to tell Maddie before she showed her face at FentonWorks again, and if Phantom needed a rescue, Valerie would need to be armed with something, even if it was only a clever distraction. She concentrated on the easier subject instead. Granted, the last thing she expected when she worked up the courage to ask was a real explanation.

“What’s up with the project excuse? Where’s Danny?”

Jazz pressed her lips together and signalled to turn left, even though Valerie had already told her to go right.

“Danny’s working through some stuff,” she said slowly. “He doesn’t want to tell Mom and Dad everything yet.”

“Ghost stuff?”

Jazz bit her lip. Valerie waited for the lie, even though she didn’t know why Jazz would lie about something that was obvious to anyone who knew the Fentons.

“He thinks he found his soulmate,” she said.

Valerie blinked.

If Jazz was going for a lie, why pick that one? Most parents were happy when their kids found their soulmates. There wasn’t any reason not to tell them…unless you thought they wouldn’t approve. Not that they would have much say in the matter. Soulmates trumped parents. And Valerie couldn’t imagine someone the Fentons wouldn’t approve of.

“And he’s panicking?” she finally guessed. “Instead of being happy he can finally see in colour?”

“Not exactly. He’s just…. I think he’s known for a while, or at least suspected it. He hasn’t told it to me straight, either. I know more than Mom and Dad, but I’ve been guessing for a while. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I’d finally guessed it right.”

“And?”

“And Danny’s Danny. He can struggle to talk to the people he cares about most. He shows his love through actions more often than words.”

Valerie frowned. She had a feeling Jazz was trying to hint at something, but she had no idea what it could be. “So where is he really, if he didn’t sleep over at Tucker’s?”

Jazz pulled over to the side of the road and parked the car before turning to Val. “He’s back in our lab, Valerie.”

“What?”

“Danny’s still in the lab. I can’t sneak him out when Mom and Dad are home. I need you to create a distraction.”

“Wait, what? Why’s Danny in your lab? Why do you have to sneak him out?”

Instead of answering, Jazz reached into her back seat and handed Valerie a package of firecrackers and a lighter.

Valerie stared at them and then looked out the window and realized that they were just down the block from FentonWorks. She turned back to Jazz. “You’re…you’re kidding, right? This is some kind of elaborate joke? Your parents wouldn’t just lock your brother up in the basement.”

“They wouldn’t knowingly lock him up,” Jazz agreed slowly, “but they don’t realize what they’ve done. He never told them, and they haven’t figured it out.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She had to be talking about something, hinting at it, but Valerie had no idea what it was supposed to be. She’d always gotten the impression that Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, while not necessarily the most attentive parents, meant well and loved their children. In a way that didn’t involve locking them up. Sure, from the brief snippets of stories she overheard in the hallway, it didn’t sound like Danny and Jazz exactly lived in the safest environment, but—

“Danny hasn’t been the same since his accident just before the start of school last year.”

Valerie frowned. She couldn’t remember anything about an accident in the school rumour mill, and she’d been at the top of it back then. But the timing—

That was around the time her soulmate had—

She’d never found any report of an accident like the one she’d been looking for.

She’d never found an obituary that fit the few details she knew.

“What…what accident?” she breathed.

She’d been seeing colour for as long as she could remember.

She’d known Danny for as long as she could remember, knowing his face before she’d ever learned his name.

Something inside Valerie twisted, and when she blinked again, she could see the orange in Jazz’s hair, and her skin—and everything else—no longer looked like it had been put through a blue filter.

“Please just set off the firecrackers, Valerie.”

How could Jazz be so calm about all of this?

How could she sit there as if this were normal?

Valerie fumbled for her seat belt and then for the door handle. She had…. She couldn’t just sit here, and she wasn’t going to set off some stupid firecrackers. She had to know for sure. She didn’t…. She had to figure this out. She didn’t understand.

But if she saw him again, face to face, she’d know.

Even before she asked.

Even before he answered.

She’d know.

He’d be able to see the question in her eyes, and his expression would answer it for her.

Or maybe just the feeling she’d get when she saw him.

Not that she needed any of that for confirmation.

Not really.

Not now that the colour had fully returned to her, and she suddenly knew why it had been taken away and come back in pieces ever since.

She didn’t know how this could be normal. How it could be true. Except it was the Fentons, so maybe this was normal, for them.

Jazz caught up to her as she reached the front walkway of FentonWorks and pulled her to a stop. “Back entrance,” Jazz said, and this time Valerie listened. She followed Jazz around the house and inside to the kitchen as Jazz explained, “He’s in the large containment unit. You just need to hit the button on the side to release the lock. If that doesn’t work, just…. Tell him you know. He can walk you through it.”

“What…what about the distraction?” Jazz hadn’t brought the firecrackers, and Valerie suddenly felt like a fool for leaving them behind.

“I’ll be the distraction,” Jazz said, gently pushing her to the side of the basement door. And then she screamed, high-pitched wordless terror that made Valerie’s skin crawl. The moment they heard footsteps, she started running, her scream fading and then cutting off. She was out the front door ahead of Jack and Maddie, and all Valerie could make out was some vague wailing about a ghost.

None of them looked back.

Below, the lab seemed too quiet. She couldn’t hear anything beyond the dim buzz of machines. Her heart raced in her chest, and she kept a firm grip on the railing as she descended the stairs.

Phantom floated near the top of the containment cell—some kind of reinforced glass, if Valerie had to guess—but when he heard footsteps, he turned to look at her.

He didn’t bother to mask the surprise on his face. “Valerie?”

He looked fine. He sounded fine. He was trapped, but otherwise, he was fine.

She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and approached the control panel. “Hey, Phantom. How do I get you out of this thing?” Jazz had said to hit the button, but there was more than one button. And she couldn’t read any labels with her world a sudden swirl of colour, blurred by unshed tears.

“Uh, I mean, I don’t know the specifics, but I think you just hit that one.” A blob of silver pointed to the button nearest to her. “The right one, not the big one on your left. The left is the flush, and I don’t really want to be sucked into the Ghost Zone right now.”

“Right. That would be awkward.” She didn’t sound like herself, but this didn’t feel real. She blinked and wiped the wetness from her cheeks.

“Are you okay, Val? Your wound—”

“I’m fine. It’s…it’s not that.”

“Then what is it? What can I do?”

It was everything. And he…he could hold her once she got him out of there. Reassure her that this was real. That it was happening.

“You can just be yourself,” she whispered, and she meant it. She squinted at the labels and hit a button. There was a hiss and then a faint pop. She looked up to see Phantom slipping out of a door in the top of the unit; the one at ground level was still sealed, as far as she could tell. A security measure, maybe, though she didn’t think it would matter where ghosts were concerned. She hadn’t met a ghost that couldn’t fly.

She blinked, and he was by her side, wide green eyes anxiously searching her face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She felt like a fool for not recognizing his features before now, but she’d never seen Danny Fenton in anything less than full colour. And when her world had been thrust into black and white, she hadn’t thought to connect him to Phantom just because she was able to see Phantom’s green eyes. She hadn’t thought she had any reason to.

The truth was, she’d never looked.

All that time she’d spent with him, and she’d never realized it. How could she have not realized it? He was…. There was no denying who he was to her.

“How long have you known?” she whispered.

He frowned. “Known what?”

“You know what, Danny.”

He froze, maybe wondering exactly how much she knew, if he was mistaken about her knowing anything when he went by Danny Phantom when he was like this. She swallowed and didn’t break his gaze, and after a long second, he relaxed. “I’ve suspected it for a while,” he finally admitted. “And then, when you got hurt…. Val, I can’t lose you. The idea terrifies me. This—” he waved a hand at himself “—is bad enough, and…and not everyone becomes a ghost.”

“And you….” It sounded stupid, but she didn’t know how to ask it. “You really are a ghost. But then how are you…? How can you…?”

He took a step back from her. “It’s more like half ghost,” he said. He was giving her a nervous smile, and then there was a brilliant light, and when it was gone, Danny Fenton stood before her. The world seemed more vibrant than it had before. She hadn’t even realized the colours could be richer. “See? Human.” He stuck out his hand, but she wrapped him in a hug instead.

He was solid, like he’d promised, and warmer than Phantom had been, and—

“I know this is a lot,” he was saying into her ear, and she realized she was sobbing into his shoulder. She just…. She couldn’t stop. Wasn’t sure she wanted to stop, when it meant he was holding her so tightly in return. “And I know I should have said something earlier, once I knew for sure, but I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t…. I didn’t know if we were still connected. After I…died, or part of me died, or whatever. I…I know I lost something that day, but I don’t know what, and—”

“The colours were gone.” That was the simplest way to say it, mumbling it into his shoulder in between sniffs. “That first day, they vanished. I…. They were back the next morning. I didn’t understand it. Sometimes I could see them, sometimes I couldn’t, and sometimes they were… Dulled, like you said. There, but…less.” She quieted, wondering if he wanted to say something. When he didn’t, she admitted, “I didn’t know it was you. I…. I wondered, once it was gone, once I knew I’d had it to lose, but I never knew who….” Her voice cracked. “I’m sorry. I should have known. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you don’t need to cry,” he said, hugging her tighter and starting to rub her back. “I mean, you still found me. Even when you weren’t looking, you found me. Even when I…. Even when I didn’t want you to look because I thought the truth might hurt you. You still found me. You…. Valerie, that’s amazing, you know that, right?”

Her emotions flipped, and she started to giggle. Giggle. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d giggled, and now she couldn’t stop. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, I guess.” She pulled back and looked at him, unable to keep the goofy grin from spreading across her face. “After all, even death couldn’t keep us apart.”

This was new and terrifying and confusing and wonderful. She didn’t understand everything, but she didn’t need to. (Oh, she’d ask. She’d definitely ask. But she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, having her soulmate—her soulmate—come back like this. Come back to her, specifically. For them to be given a second chance.)

She’d always liked Danny’s company, even before her fall from grace, even if she hadn’t been able to do anything about Dash’s bullying. And she’d always been happy hanging out with Phantom and had treasured each moment that it was just the two of them. And now….

And now she knew, like he knew, that it could become so much more if they let it. If they worked together, gave it room to grow—gave themselves room to grow—and took care of each other, well…. They’d have everything they would ever need. Everything that mattered, anyway. They’d be able to lean on each other in the rough times. Tease each other and laugh together. Pick each other up and build each other up or knock each other down a peg or two if they really needed it. They’d discover new things and rediscover old, and….

They’d be able to live. To survive. To face life, together. And to love it. Maybe not every second—there always would be trials—but the hard times and finding ways through them would remind them to cherish the moments they had. To cherish each other.

They could be happy if they chose to be. If they chose to work together and to try.

She already knew she wanted to. And, from the way he was smiling back at her, or maybe the way his hands had found hers, she knew he wanted to try, too.

She had thought everything had ended the day colour had been stolen from her world, but it had only been a way of opening her eyes to what she’d missed before.

It had shown her a path, guided her back to her soulmate with each new colour she had begun seeing.

If she’d ignored it, it might have been an end. If she’d continued to think of it that way, her actions—or inaction—would have turned that to truth. She might have lost the colours entirely, breaking off her connection with Danny more effectively than the accident had.

Instead, the colours—and their initial lack—had given them another chance. It had been a new beginning. Their new beginning.

And her world would forever be more vibrant, more vivid, for the opportunity they’d been given together.

(see more fics)

#danny phantom #danny fenton #valerie gray #soulmate au #gray ghost #soulmate au colours #phanfiction #dp fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing #ladylynse #happy birthday ave-aria!#I made you wait almost a year for this #snippets #dp snippet

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