#kicking people down the stairs like terrible grandpa

[icyolive]

"'The 'head of the family' said to drive him away?!' [Jin Ling] yelled. "Why didn't I hear anything about that?!" He had then turned to the master of the Bai family and said, 'You're from the Bai family? The ones who live ten kilometers west of the city? I got it. Go back now. Someone will go find you in a few days.'"

IDK why, but this reread I'm suddenly just like.... noticing Jin Ling? As a person? Sure, he's a bit whiny, but he really kinda blossoms into someone who wants to do the right thing.

As a Wei Wuxian stan I want to say it's his influence—he certainly takes an interest. But it could easily just be the experiences he's had.

Even early on, he frees his crazy uncle (who is might be WWX) from his angry uncle. He's pretty good about keeping the dog away from WWX. He starts off loathing WWX and WN, but struggles with his resentment after learning the whole story—plenty of people just double down no matter how irrational, but he actually wrestles with it. Channeling both parents at once, he tries to repair the relationship between WWX and JC while being super awkward and antagonistic about it. And in the extras, he channels his horrible grandfather by pushing someone down the stairs... but instead of an illegitimate son, it's a guard who rejected a merchant/civilian's request for aid (and subverted JL's authority).

And lest I forget, he goes from crying his eyes out to bawling out that Yao asshole:

"So what if I wanna cry?!" [Jin Ling] hollered. 'Who are you? Who do you think you are? What do you care if I cry?!' Sect Leader Yao had clearly not expected his lecture to be so thoroughly rebuffed, nor that he'd wind up being the one getting yelled at."

Good for you, Jin Ling.

#mdzs #rereading mdzs #mdzs meta #jin ling #he really is a little bit of every character #awkward like dad #peace-keeper like mom #kicking people down the stairs like terrible grandpa #righteous like crazy haunted gay uncle #angry like angry purple uncle

[mostribelle]

Bulletproof

You're Dean Winchesters teenage daughter who is trying to have a fun night out with some friends, but it never seems to go how its supposed to go...

Gif not mine, credit to owner.

Warnings: mention of alcohol

Words: 2604

The brunette swayed to the loud beat of the club as people passed by her. Tonight was her one night off from hunting and she was ecstatic. Her dad and uncle were back at the bunker, just having a relaxing night in with Castiel and her grandpa. Being seventeen and having a dad who does illegal things such as fake IDs was great. She could get into any club she wanted since she had the classic Winchester look. Now, of course, she hadn't told them she was headed here, or else her dad would for sure ground her for life. So she lied and said she was going over to Kallies house- which wasn't entirely a lie since she was there and they did get ready together. She never told them that's where she was staying. So as she ran her hand through her long hair, she felt a hand grip her waist and she turned to look over her shoulder and snickered when it was her friend's older brother.

Kallies older brother, Damon, was twenty-one and their DD for the night. He made sure not to let the girls out of his sight, or else his mom would kill him. Bailey turned around as she swung her hips side to side, "Thought you were supposed to be watching your little sister," she wouldn't lie. He was insanely attractive- but never did anything despite her friend saying it would cool to have her bestie and her brother together. Then again, Kallie was into cliches and all she read were books on Wattpad.

Damon grinned like a Cheshire cat as he lowered his hands so they rested on her hips. "-Well, if you paid any attention in the last fifteen minutes, you would have noticed that she is sitting down with one of her besties in the corner." He smirked at her crestfallen expression. The brunette paused her dancing to glance for her friend and when she spotted the girl snoring in the corner with one of Damons friends, she smacked the man's chest.

"You ass! I-I thought she actually found someone else here.." She tried to frown, but when he gripped her chin so she was forced to look up at him, she smiled shyly.

Damon's black hair shone purple as the lights changed and an older song came through the loudspeakers. He chuckled with a shake of his head. "Sorry baby, just thought to shake you up a little." He grinned when Everybody by the Backstreet Boys came on. The girl's eyes widened as the song came on and she immediately dragged the man out to the center of the dance floor. She started grinding her hips all over and tensed a little when he stepped closer so she ground on him. When he bent down to her ear, he whispered, "S'okay Bails... Just go with the flow of the music and if you feel uncomfortable, tell me alright?" He backed up a little when she nodded in understanding.

The music grew quieter she swore as he grabbed her softly. She would usually never be like this, but she blamed the alcohol that she had consumed. She was so into the music that she hadn't noticed her phone ringing in the dress pocket. Damon felt something buzz and when he looked down, he saw a light emitting from the small slit and he reached down to grab it. Panic rose in her chest and she tried to pull away but he gripped her tightly to his chest as people danced around them.

"Damon! W-what are you doing?" She turned around just in time to see him raise the phone to his ear and answer. He heard Dean on the other hand and inwardly cursed. The man held his finger up to silence her and that's when she noticed it was her phone and it was probably her dad. "Fuck!" She cried out and pulled him away through the crowd and into a dark hallway. With an extra push, she opened the exit door and they stood outside.

She watched Damon's facial expressions twitch every so often as if Dean was going off.

Damon nodded, "Sir she's fine. We are in the basement with a few other of my friends and hers-"

Silence until the man nodded again.

"Yes, do you want to talk to her?" He shot her a curious look to which she waved her hands as no. Her dad would know for sure she was drunk. She could never lie to her daddy. Before Damon could say she was busy, Dean immediately said yes. He shot her a knowing look. "Uh okay, she's right here-"

The phone was passed to her and she inwardly cried. This would not end well.

In a sickly sweet voice, "Hiya, daddy!" She winced at her loud voice. He either ignored it or already knew she was wasted.

"Hey baby girl, you busy at the moment? Damon seemed out of breath." Eyes wide, she slapped the man's arm and he cried out 'what did I do?'

"Ah, no way! You crazy old man-" she hiccuped and bit her lip quick after. "I'm totally fine. He just came down the stairs and you know him, outta shape." She joked lightly.

Dean sighed into the phone. He rubbed his eyes before glancing at his dad and brother. The three men in the room all shared a knowing glance. "Baby girl?" He received a small 'yeah' before responding, "Where are you really. I know you're drunk so tell me where you are." He heard her swear loudly which made him chuckle. He was pissed. But he knew she just wanted to have a little fun and he wouldn't be so harsh on her.

She mumbled her coordinates and heard Dean curse.

"You're at Lights?!" The girl winced at his loud tone but meekly answered him. She heard a voice in the background before he spoke again. "Look, just stay with Damon and Kallie... I'm on my way." He hung up and she felt terrible.

She not only lied to her dad but also went to the club where she had gone missing one time during a vampire case. Damon wrapped his arms around the crying girl, she just sobbed. Her makeup was smeared, her heels were off and she wore his jacket as they stood in the front of the club. It had been fifteen minutes since she heard from her father and now she was scared. Damon told her that Kallie was just with a few friends of hers and their boyfriends so she relaxed.

"I'm sure it'll be okay. He's just worried and it didn't help that you lied," he tried to joke but she was so deep in her thoughts she hadn't noticed. 

The girl heard a familiar rumble of Baby and she tensed up. Damon rubbed her arm soothingly as if it would help but she was so terrified of what her father would say. These were the times she wished her mother was still here. To calm down her dad when she did stupid teenage rebellion things. When the car came into view, she gently pushed away from Damon and walked to the edge of the curb. The door slammed shut and out walked her dad, she peeked into the car and saw her uncle in the passenger side with pursed lips. Bailey's bottom lip quivered when he neared her. She went to open her mouth to say how sorry she was but turned around to vomit. Damon backed up and frowned as she cried.

Dean rushed over and wrapped his arms around her but not before wrapping his flannel around her shivering body. The sobs wracked her frail body as she turned into her father's chest. Dean's harsh glare found the eldest Fritellie's eyes and mouthed to leave them. With one last glance, Damon walked back into the building and the door shut behind him. Dean's temper eased as he was left alone with Bailey. The young girl mumbled apologies to her father but he just shushed her and ran his hands through her hair.

Dean could see how the nightmares affected how she behaved. She had been withdrawn from her whole family since she was kidnapped. That was three months ago. Sam and John had just brushed it off as her being a rebellious teenager. Dads know best.

Slowly but surely, she grew tired and rested her cheek to his heart. Dean bent down a little at the knees to pick her up bridal style and carry her to Baby. Sam saw the pair come closer and he got out to open the door. Dean kissed her forehead before letting her down and onto the seat. She turned into the flannel and yawned before letting herself fall back asleep.

Shutting the door quietly, Dean turned to rub his face when Sam opened his mouth. "I think she should see someone, Dean. This- This was okay for the first week but now it's going on three months. Three, Dean." At his brother's words, the elder Winchester scoffed and kicked the dirt.

"Ya don't think I know that Sammy?! Of course, I do. I was there when she was found goddamnit," he sighed and placed his hands on his hips and pondered over the next move. "I'll talk to her in the morning about it. I ain't forcing her though. Maybe Cas can help her." He said the last part more for himself than Sams.

The pair stayed silent all the way back to the bunker.

Dean drove into the garage and parked Baby before getting out and picking up his baby girl. She groaned a little but nuzzled into him again. John was in the den with a cigarette and a bottle of beer when the door opened and he heard heavy footsteps. Dean walked by with Bailey in his arms and Sam turned into the room. The younger Winchester sibling sat down with a sigh and shook his head at his dad.

"She's not well. Dean says he sees it, but he hasn't done much to help her. Maybe I should just-"

John cut him off with a glare. "You will not be doing anything, boy. Bailey is your niece and his daughter. You know how your brother is. He will do something on his own terms. That's how he's always been." He grumbled into the beer. Sam huffed out in annoyance for his dad taking his side.

Inside Bailey's room, were polaroids of her and her friends hanging on the walls. A family picture hung above the teen's bed along with some tickets to concerts she had been to with her dad. Dean had taken off her shoes and threw them onto the ground as he tucked her under the covers. He grabbed her hand and sat on the edge of her bed, watching over her. He wished his mother was here to help him out. He knew his little girl felt lost without a mother figure in her life, but he also felt that if he did find someone, she'd think he was replacing her.

Dean loomed over her before placing a chaste kiss on her head and walking to the door. He closed the door softly, before walking to his own room. He would have gone back to the den and sat with his dad and brother but he was angry at Sam for telling him what he already knew.

Dean took off his clothes, climbed under the blankets, and closed his eyes.

His mind wandered to if he'd been a terrible dad lately, causing her to rebel and sneak off without his permission. Or lie straight to his face at your whereabouts. He never really believed in God until he met him, nor did he really ever pray. But he now silently asked the heavens what to do to help his little girl out.

Sleep caught Dean in its warm embrace and his dreams were plagued with what to do with Bailey.

---------------

Sam stood by the counter with his earbuds in as he mixed his early morning post-run drink. John sat at the kitchen table across from Dean, both had coffee mugs in front of them- one laced with whiskey. The eldest Winchester kept his gaze on the newspaper, looking out for any new hunts or leads for one. The trio heard light footsteps come down from the hallway and towards them. Bailey entered the silent room and walked over to the coffee pot. Reaching up she grabbed her favorite mug- it was a family picture along with Cas.  She poured some creamer into the mug before the coffee.

John was the first to speak. "Have fun last night, baby doll? Sure seemed like it when we called you." Dean shot his dad a quick glare but just shook his head.

Bailey looked down into the mug with shame in her soft eyes. "I'm sorry pops. I-I have no idea what went through my head when I disobeyed you guys," she mumbled out and stirred her coffee before speaking quieter, "I'm up for any form of punishment."

At her words, Sam set down his smoothie and ripped out his earbuds. "Sweetheart, you do not deserve to be punished for being a teen." John shot his youngest son a confused glance, for last night he was up to damage. Sam must've noticed because he spoke again, "I felt different last night but I then realized that you're a teen. Hell, when your dad was your age he was ten times worse!" They all share a small laugh except Dean who rolls his eyes. Sam continues with a softer tone, "I- We all know how hard it's been since the incident... You're only seventeen, baby girl. We are worried about you." When he finished, Dean released a sigh and scooted his chair back so Bailey could sit with him. The girl plopped herself down onto her father's lap and sipped her coffee before setting it down.

Dean wrapped one arm around her waist and began to speak, "Even though we were very upset last night, not for the reason you were there, but the fact that you lied straight to my face. I know how it is baby, you're young. You've never done that before, not that I know of," he muttered the last part soliciting a laugh from Bailey.

"Let me cut this shit short- we are all worried as hell about you baby doll. You're our everything. Our main goal in this short life is to make sure you live it to the fullest. You can't do that if you're dead at the bottom of a ditch." John was straight to the point, and it scared Bailey. She had never seen her pops this serious. The brunette reached her hand out to wrap it around his own.

John squeezed it with a tightlipped smile.

"You should see someone baby girl. I know it will suck at first, but if you won't talk to us or your friends about it, it will never go away. Trust me. It haunts you forever. Please baby, for me?" Dean spoke sadly and watched as his little girl nodded before a tear slipped down her cheek.

The girl continuously nodded, which made her dad wrap his hands around her tighter. He kept mumbling "I love you" into her ear, resulting in her sobbing into her father's shirt.

#dean x daughter!reader #deanwinchesterimagines #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #john winchester #alcohol #supernatural #deanwinchester #supernatural fandom #supernatural fanworks #dean Winchester x female reader

[twoidiotwriters1]

Iron 10 (Peter Parker x Fem!Oc)

Words:  3, 238

Masterlist

Chapter 9

"And how am I supposed to learn to control them if they forbid me to do anything?" Lily asks from the back seat.

“We’ll talk to your father. Depending on what happens, we’ll send them the necessary equipment,” informs Fury.

"Depending on what happens?"

"Legal aspects.”

"As which?"

"Lily, one problem at a time," Nat interrupts.

“Fine. Where are we going?"

"Do you want a donut?"

"Sure!"

The van pulls up outside the Randy’s Donuts store, Fury comes out. They both look at him from inside the car. Tony’s sitting on the huge donut.

"Why did we come for him?” She grits her teeth, remembering the annoyance towards her father.

"You two should talk," Nat says.

"I don’t want to.”

"If you want us to help you, that is the condition.”

Lily turns away from the window and folds her arms looking at the redhead.

"You didn't say anything about conditions.”

"Now there are.”

"It's not fair,” She sighs and then looks at Nat's outfit. "Why do you wear that? Is it your super spy uniform?"

 "Something like that. You like it?"

“You look weird, but I like it. Do you have weapons or explosives?"

“Perhaps."

The agent receives an order from her intercom. She responds and returns to the girl.

"Come on, I'll buy you a donut."

They both get out of the truck and enter the premises. Nat asks Lily a chocolate donut and walks to the chairs where Tony and Fury are, while the girl takes the donut from her and sits in an armchair away from them, with her back to them.

"Huh!" Tony says when he sees Natasha in a new outfit "You're... fired.”

"That's not up to you,” answers the redhead sitting down.

"Tony, I want you to meet Agent Romanoff,” adds Fury.

“Hi."

"I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D. shadow. Once we knew you were ill or out of control, I was tasted to you by Director Fury. Besides taking care of your daughter in risky situations,” She tilts her head towards Lily.

Tony frowns and looks away to meet the little girl, eating a donut while she swings her legs. He goes back to the redhead.

"I suggest you apologize,” answers Tony.

"You've been very busy," continues Fury. “You made your girl your CEO, you’re giving away your stuff, you neglect your daughter without taking into account the high priority over her powers, you let your friend fly way with your suit. Now, if I did’nt know better—”

 Tony rolls his eyes. Again, someone else scolding him for whatever stupid thing he does. Although he now knows that he did screw up, he doesn't want to hear it again. He has enough with his own mind.

"You don't know better. I didn’t give it to him. He took it."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, He took it?" asks Fury. “You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The Little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit?" He says. “Is that possible?"

“Well, according to Mr. Stark’s database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage,” answers Nat.

Tony snorts.

"What do you want from me?"

“What do we want from you? Uh-uh,” Fury says as Natasha gets up. “What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe,” He scolds him.

In that, Natasha injects something into Tony making him scream. The conversation is overheard by Lily, but only when he complains does she turn around.

"Oh, god, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?" Tony asks.

Natasha moves Tony's head and Fury sees the lines on Stark's neck slowly disappear.

Fury explains what the substance they just injected does to him.

“Give me a couple of boxes of that. I'll see right as rain."

"It's not a cure, it just abates the symptoms,” Nat explains.

"You need to get back to work, Stark," Fury says and Tony sighs. "And by Stark, I mean both," He points back.

Lily realizes that he sees her and turns away.

 "I don't think she wants to work as a team now."

“She has her reasons. You are a terrible companion.”

***

They all return home to Malibu. Tony and Nick sit on the terrace, now destroyed. They both talk about the reactor, the technology that Howard Stark couldn't finish, and about Vanko father and son.

Fury takes it upon himself to explain everything to Tony, while Lily returns from her room after making sure that no one had destroyed her. Nat had told him what happened with Rhodes and Tony.

The little girl walks to sit on the stairs that lead to the terrace, listening to the adults.

“You told me I hadn't tried everything. What do you mean I haven’t tried everything? What haven’t I tried?" Tony points out.

"He said that you were the only person with the means and knowledge to finish what he started.”

"He said that?"

“Are you that guy? Hmm? Are you? ‘Cause if you are, then you can solve the riddle of your heart. Or maybe, I should be discussing this with your daughter."

Tony winces and shakes his head. Lily frowns.

"I don't know where you get your information, but he wasn't my biggest fan," says Tony.

"I'm not either," adds Lily, resting her chin on her arm. Tony glances at her.

"What do you remember about your dad?"

This catches the girl's attention.

 “He was cold, he was calculating. He never told me he loved me. He never even told me he liked me, so it’s a Little tough for me to digest then you’re telling me he said the whole future was riding on me an’s passing it down. I don't get that."

Hearing that, Lily feels a little sorry for Tony. Only a little. She imagines how  could be her grandfather when Tony was her age.

"You're talking about a guy whose happiest day was when he shipped me off to boarding School.”

"That’s not true.”

"Well, then, clearly you knew my dad better than I did.”

“As a matter of fact, I did. You can believe and think many things about him, but knowing all that, do you really want Lily to think the same about you?" says Fury and then finishes his drink. More agents appear to drop off several suitcases. "Well then, what else will I know about one of the founding members of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

"What?"

All three get up. Lily walks over to see the suitcase.

"What’s this?" Tony asks pointing at her.

"You got this, right?" asks Fury.

"Got what? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to get,” answers Tony nervously.

“Natasha will remain a floater at Stark with her cover of her intact. And you remember Agent Coulson, right?"

“Yeah."

They both greet each other.

 "Oh, and Tony,” says Fury before leaving. "After you fix this whole mess, we should talk about Lily's new training, she needs it more than you do. And remember, I got my eye on you.”

The latter makes Lily laugh.

Natasha and Coulson explain to Tony what to do and what not to do, while Lily walks over to the suitcase.

Property of H.Stark

"Okay, time to work, Kid," says Tony.

“No," Lily walks away. "We've been together for several hours and you haven't even apologized, and now you're just hoping that I'll help you?"

Tony raises an eyebrow, shifting uncomfortably.

“Basically."

Lily looks at him in disbelief.

"I don't want to, I won't help you,” She says and then returns to her room.

***

The truth is that Lily does want to help him, but she knows he doesn't deserve it. Moreover, she cannot be alone in her room doing nothing. She wants to know what’s in that suitcase, but she doesn't want Tony to find out about her.

An idea crosses her mind. She may not be the stealthiest, but she is the only thing she has. She goes into the living room of her destroyed house and presses the hidden button on the emergency elevator that goes alone to the workshop. She enters it and after a few seconds arrives at the workshop.

 All the lights are off and Tony is sitting in an armchair facing a projection. Lily sneaks up behind the old project.

They both watch the old Howard Stark tapes, rehearsing the presentation of what is now Stark Expo. The man has several mistakes with words, but something else calls him the attention to the girl. Just as a little boy comes out the other side of the desk where Howard presents a model. The boy takes one of the pieces and Howard notices.

“Tony, what are you doing back there? What is that? Put that back!” He scolds him.

Lily leans in to get a better look at the boy version of her father. Now she can see the resemblance between Howard and Tony when scolding their children, but is also fun to watch.

Several takes with more errors follow.

“So, from all of us at Stark Industries, I’d like to personally show you my ass,” says Howard. Lily can't help but laugh at his words, giving away her presence. Although Tony had listened to her since she arrived.

"I know you're in there, kid. You're too curious to miss this,” She comes out of her hiding place, crawling on the ground until she reaches the other side of the projector.

"I'm still mad.”

Tony sighs.

"I know,” He leans in the chair and sets aside a notebook.

“Tony," says Howard causing both of them to return to the screen. “You’re too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put this film for you. I built this for you. And Someday you'll realize that it represents a whole lot more than just people’s inventions. It represents my life’s work. This is the key to the future,” He shows the model and the reactor. “I'm limited by the technology of my time, but one day you'll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is and always will be my greatest creation… is you,” The tape ends.

 "Do you think Grandpa Howard would love me?" Lily asks when the lights come on.

Tony laughs when he hears ‘Grandpa Howard’, he’s sure he wouldn’t like to be called that.

"I don’t know. Maybe he would love you more than me,” He looks at Lily.

"I am more adorable than you.”

Tony nods, unable to fight back. He sighs. He thinks about the words of his father and wonders why he was never like this with him when they were together. Why does he have to find out about this from a tape or from other people? Then he thinks of his own daughter and Fury's words come back to him.

Tony doesn't want Lily to grow up thinking that he was worse than Howard, he knows what he did.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you that day," He begins.

"And?" She says crossing her arms.

"And sorry for what you had to witness at the party.”

"And?"

Tony purses his lips.

“I'm sorry I failed you. I shouldn't have left you alone, or yell at you, or lie to you.”

"Nat told me that your chest was killing you,” He nods. "Didn't it occur to you to ask for help?"

“It is somewhat complicated. When you say that you are dying, everyone panics.”

"But then they help you.”

 "I guess so.”

Lily feels a lump in her throat. Just remembering that, she again feels afraid of losing her father without even knowing something about what was really going on.

"I don't like that you hide things from me or lie to me," she says with a broken voice.

“Sorry."

"No, you must promise that you won’t do it again,” she interrupts him.

Tony watches Lily's determination.

"I promise.”

“Mr. Fury said we are a team. You must do your part,” she says as she gets up.

"Mr. Fury?"

"Dad!"

"Okay, okay, I got it!” He argues. In that he remembers an unfinished business. Tony stayed for a moment in the destroyed mansion and as he passed through the kitchen he saw a burned box on the sides.

He walks over to his desk with Lily following him. He removes the remains from the box and carefully takes the gift from him.

"It's a good try…”

"But you didn't even open it," she complains.

"I'm sorry, but you were missing some details.”

Lily rolls her eyes.

 "I put it together by watching a video, it's not as if you had explained each part to me.”

“That can change. Do you remember the rules we agreed upon the first time you were in the workshop?" She nods. “Forget the question limit. From now on, you must ask.”

Lily can't help but smile.

“Agree."

"So, are we good now?"

"Yup, but if you do something wrong, I'll tell Mr. Fury to scold you again."

"He didn't scold me," He complains.

"Whatever you say. Now what shall we do?"

Tony sighs and then winces.

“I must go to Pepper, stay here and cover me with the secret agents. I will not be late.”

"Good luck.”

***

After a few hours, Tony returns with the demo that his father had shown on the tapes. He arms it on various tables.

“Cool," says Lily approaching.

Tony orders Jarvis to scan every detail so he can manipulate it, he takes the hologram and moves it away from the table.

“Open your eyes wide, Kid. The answer to our problems is here,” says Tony giving her a bench and he sits on another. They both look at the model.

"What do we have to look for?"

"A new element.”

“Easy," she says sarcastically.

"My father put it here, we just have to move some things,” He brings the projection towards the center, a sphere.

"He must have something at the core," Tony whispers.

Lily sees what is around.

"What if…?”

"What?"

"What if we put everything together?"

Tony frowns, but an idea crosses his mind.

Little by little, Tony is gathering the important aspects towards the center of the Expo and in each step, he’s explaining Lily. In the end he manages to find a new element, the possible solution to the problem of intoxication.

"Dead for almost twenty years, and still taking me to school,” He says watching his creation. "Nice work, Kid.”

She smiles.

"How will you make it work?" She asks.

"Unfortunately, it’s impossible to synthesize," reports Jarvis.

Tony gets up from his chair.

“Get ready for a major remodel, fellas! We're back in hardware mode. C’mon, kid.”

Between Lily and Tony - mostly Tony - they break down some walls, open the floor and use any energy source in the mansion to connect it to the workshop part. They both open some boxes that S.H.I.E.L.D left them and use every material they have on hand.

"Hold the lamp," Tony tells her.

"It's what I'm doing,” Lily claims while she also tries to see what Tony is doing.

"More to the right.”

"What does that do?"

“Gives more energy. Bring the lamp closer…”

In the meantime, neither of them notices that Phil walks into the shop.

"I heard you broke the perimeter,” says the agent.

"Whoops" says Lily.

"Uh, yeah. That was, like, three years ago. Where have you been?" Tony answers.

"I was doing some stuff.”

"Yeah, well, us too, and it worked.”

Coulson checks the boxes. He pulls out some kind of unfinished shield.

"What’s that?" asks Lily.

“It’s exactly what we need to make this work. Lily, take it,” She obeys. "Lift the coil,” He says to Coulson and between them they lift it up a bit. Enough for Lily to put it under. Tony sets the leveler. “Perfectly level. I'm busy what do you want?"

 Coulson warns him that he must go on another mission and says goodbye.

"Glad to see you are a part of it, Lily.”

"It was not easy,” she answers making him laugh.

The hours pass and they both go back to work. In the end, Tony gives Lily some special glasses and explains what they will do.

The energy is concentrated in the device.

"Initializing prismatic accelerator," reports Jarvis. Suddenly a fine laser is projected and reflected off a material.

"Get behind me,” Tony orders him.

Stark operates the machine with the laser, but not before cutting part of the wall where he directs it.

"Oh oh.”

“Oops!"

With difficulty, the laser reaches the small inverted triangle that Tony prepared so that the power would be trapped there. After a few minutes, they turn off the machine. Tony approaches and with tweezers takes the triangle and puts it in the reactor. The item’s accepted.

"We did it?" Lily asks.

“We did it."

She sighs in relief, right now she feels the exhaustion. She walks over to the couch and sits on it.

"Wake me up when we're in trouble," she warns him.

"Why would we be in trouble?"

 "Rhodey says we have that talent.”

"Makes sense.”

In that a beep is heard.

"Incoming call and with a blocked number, sir,” warns Jarvis.

“My phone privilege is reinstated. Lovely. Kid, we have the phone back!"

“Great," she answers from the couch.

"Coulson. How’s the land of enchantment?"

"Hey. Tony. How you doing?” The voice is unknown to Lily so she settles in the chair and leans out. "I doubled cycle."

"You what?"

“You told me double cycle’s more power. Good advice.”

"You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy.”

"What?" whispers Lily. She gets up and walks over to Tony. He makes a sign so that she doesn't make noise.

"You too,” answers the man.

Tony removes his microphone from the call.

"Trace him,” he orders Jarvis.

“Now, the true history of Stark name will be written. Your secrets will be revealed at any moment."

"What is he talking about, dad?"

Tony ignores her and keeps checking the call.

 “What your father did to my family over forty years, I will do to you in forty minutes and I will make sure your offspring disappear. I hope you're ready,” He says, and then hangs up.

Tony sees Justin Hammer's announcement at Stark Expo on another screen, and based on the coordinates of the call, Vanko may have something planned for the event. He gets up and takes the new reactor.

"Dad?"

Stark replaces the reactor in his chest, after coughing a bit, the man feels the difference.

"Time to go,” He says walking towards his armor.

"Hey! No. You promised—”

"I have to go, Lily."

“But, you must tell me what happens. You promised not to lie to me,” She gets in her way. He sighs.

"Vanko, the man who tried to kill me in Monaco, wants to do something at the Expo and I have to stop him.”

“What does he plan to do?"

"I'm not sure. You must stay here. I'll talk to Fury about sending agents here. Turn on the TV, I'm sure they'll put it on,” He continues on his way.

“Dad," He turns again. "Be careful, please.”

Tony smiles and nods.

"Stay in the workshop in case I need your help.”

"You got it.”

Taglist:

@silenthappyplace​​ @yourbonesareinmybody​ @aylauwuuniverse    @skittles-skittles​ @hufflepuffzutara​ @poetryislife0715 @21bruhs​ @heavenlymistakes​ @my-love-of-books​ @dielgonacoffee​

#Iron #peter parker fanfiction #Peter Parker #Peter Parker x Oc #Peter Parker x reader #Avengers #Avengers fanfic #Marvel #Marvel fanfic #Tony Stark #Lily Stark #Stark! reader #Pepper Potts #James rhodes #Iron Man 2 #Spider man

[bellatrixobsessed1]

From Chin To Yon Rah (Part 29)

Her muscle definition has faded and she finds herself once again as frail as she had been in the grassland. Perhaps worse so. There is no sympathy in the Fire Nation. There is hardly anyone around to give it to her. And so her body grows thinner, bonier, frightfully so and she finds herself missing and craving the Earth Kingdom hospitality she has grown used to.

And it is so hot. 

So, so terribly hot. 

She isn’t sure how she used to thrive in it and resents herself for not being able to thrive still.

She feels quite queasy. Her body trembles with hunger and heat. She pushes herself forward until she doubles over and vomits. Her vision goes fuzzy. She uses the last of her unsoiled towels to clean her face. She drinks the last bit of water in her waterskin. 

She stumbles forward, her body sways, she can’t walk straight.

The sun beats down. 

She squints her eyes, she has trouble seeing over that merciless golden haze. 

It beats down with a viciously taunting intensity. It’s rays dance and simmer about as if to ask her what kind of firebender can’t stand a little Fire Nation heat? 

She has no answer for it. 

She comes by a small band of people, the first she has seen in a while. “I need water.” She informs them, voice strained. 

The side step her, look at her as though poverty is a disease that she may spread to them if they get too close.

Time passes strangely in her heat daze. But at some point she comes to a village. By now she is deeply parched, her lips cracked and dry. The sun has fallen and risen once, maybe twice, she can’t remember. Her stomach is past the point of aching, it has given up after so many days of ignored requests. 

She stumbles up to the first building, bracing herself heavily against its wall. People pass her by offering her nothing but looks of pity and disgust. 

She is dying, don’t they care that she is dying?

Does anyone care?

That day...days...week...her head is too foggy to retain any lessons, let alone make sense of them.

.oOo.

She isn’t sure that she is ready to let her euphoria and delight go, but she has to cleanse the wound soon; the longer she sits and lets it fester the worse it will be, the harder to clean. And, spirits are her emotional wounds deep. 

She lifts Caihong into her arms and carries her out towards the palace gardens and then further still. 

“Azula, where are we going?” Sokka pads alongside her. 

“To the coronation hall.” She replies. 

“Why there?”

She offers him only a shrug. Truth be told she simply can’t think of a better location; she doesn’t want to stain and tarnish her garden with poor memories nor mar the palace halls with them. Neither does she want to create new places that are hard to walk past. So she will take herself back to a place that she already has trouble visiting and make it harder still.

Caihong wiggles around in her arms, swiveling her head every which way. “This city’s really big!” She exclaims. 

“Yes, quite.” Azula replies, brushing a hand over her hair as though she isn’t going to bring the girl to tears very soon. Azula takes a deep breath as steps upon the grate. They had neglected to remove the chains that had bound her to it. Her stomach heaves and she clutches Caihong tighter. It had happened so long ago and yet it still has a grip on her mind, a stomach fluttering, throat burning grip. 

She doesn’t think that Sokka realizes exactly what this place means to her, what those chains represent. Even so, he hooks his arm around hers. 

“You alright?” 

Another shrug. 

“You aren’t. Got it.” He mumbles. 

“I didn’t say…” 

“Exactly.” He replies. “You don’t say anything when you’re not doing well. What’s going on?”

“Nothing yet.” She sighs as she makes her way up the steps. She decides to ascend only halfway, lest the conversation drain her too much to be able to make it all the way back down. She takes a seat with Caihong in her lap and stares for a good while at the setting sun as it dips behind one of several tiered roofs. 

Looking down she could practically visualize powerful bursts of blue and orange. Deadly blasts...merciless eruptions…

She holds Caihong’s head against her chest.

Sokka sits silently next to her, hand atop hers. She closes her eyes and savors the feeling of it, the feeling of care, of being cared for. The last time she perched upon these steps, she had no such thing. She doesn’t think that she had even a concept of it.

“Caihong, we have to talk about something.” 

“What Ri...Azula?” The girl stares up at her with such big, pretty eyes. Carefree and hopeful…

“Remember when you asked when I’m going to take you back to Wujing, your father, and grandpa Ojihara?”

She nods, a wide grin breaking upon her face. Azula’s stomach lurches that much further. “Mmmhmm! I remember! Are we gonna go soon!” 

Azula swallows, “Caihong, we aren’t going back to Wujing. There is no Wujing.”

Her smile fades and her voice grows small. “What do you mean?”

“The village was invaded and burned, do you remember that?”

She nods. 

“The village was destroyed, Caihong. The buildings are falling apart and there’s no one left in the village.”

“Where did they go, Rikka!?”

Azula cringes. 

“We gotta find them!” 

Azula bites her cheek, it is the only thing that keeps a sob from escaping. She wishes that the child would just get it so that she wouldn’t have to say it out loud again. “They’re gone, Caihong.”

“Gone where, Rika!?”

She grits her teeth. “To the Spirit World. They’re gone, gone. Do you understand?”

She shakes her head. 

“Dead.” She clarifies quietly. “It’s just me and you. You learned about the airbenders in school, right?” 

“Y-yes.” Caihong wimpers. 

“Do you remember what happened to them?”

“The Fire Nation killed everyone ‘cept the Avatar?” 

Azula nods again. “That’s what happened to Wujing.”  

“No, Rikka!” She stops her foot, “no! Dad is still there, grandpa’s still there. We gotta go find Atsu!” 

She can’t stop the sob this time, she doesn’t know if she even wants to. “Atsu is dead, Caihong. So is Seukhyun and Ojihara and Hajime and Min-Min…” Her body shakes.  

“No!” Caihong screams again. “No! No! No!” 

She wishes that the girl would stop. It is breaking her and she is already broken. She wants to comfort the girl but she can hardly keep herself from screaming just the same way. “Come here, Caihong.” She implores softly but the girl is sprinting down the stairs.

Sokka curses and chases after her. He catches up without a hitch and scoops the girl into his arms despite a decent amount of kicking and arm batting. “I wanna find dad!” She screams, it is so shrill; Agni, it sounds like her throat will tear.

Azula leans heavily against the steps and bunches in on herself. She hates that scream, hates the torment in it. Hates that she had to be the one to bring her the news that brought them on.

Sokka holds her tightly in spite of the trashing until she is all out of energy. Azula’s tears are more or less silent, she could very much use an embrace but Caihong’s need is more desperate. She has already been through the throes of loss, the child hasn’t.

“I don’ have a family no more.” Caihong murmurs after her cries slow. 

Azula forces herself upright wipes her tears away with her sleeve and then dabs Caihong’s away, “you do have a family.”

She shakes her head and wipes her eyes and nose on Azula’s sleeve. 

Azula’s nose crinkles.

“You do have a family.” Sokka smiles, “do you think that Azula would let just anyone wipe their runny nose on her sleeve?”

Caihong rubs at her eyes, “no.” 

“Well then…” He gives her a firm pat on the back. “You do have a family still, it just isn’t the one you thought that you’d have.” He looks away from Caihong for a moment and smiles at her. 

She swallows and rests her chin atop Caihong’s head. She holds the girl so tightly. 

“You both have a family.”

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Sokka #Sokkla #Fanfiction

[noonachronicles]

A Dance with the Devil

Choi Seunghyun/ TOP X Reader

Words: 3.4k

Warnings: Light cursing, mild blasphemy. 

Genre: Fluff?/Humor?/Fantasy?

A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble, but I’ve never been very good at keeping to that word count restriction tbh. Requested by Anon, #24 (24. “I’m sorry? You’re telling me you’re supposed to be the Devil? … Funny, you look nothing like I’d imagined.”) & Tabi. This is the first thing I’ve written in almost a year. So sorry if it’s terrible, but also not sorry because this is the first thing I’ve written in almost a year and I’m over the moon that I was finally able and inspired enough to finish a thing. I genuinely hope y’all enjoy though! 

It was supposed to have been a relatively sunny day. The first day in what felt like weeks that you wouldn’t need to carry around your umbrella along with everything else. However, it seemed that the weather was a fairly fickle bitch.

You’d only been strolling around downtown for a couple hours when you felt the first drips crash down on your head. The dark clouds rolling over the tops of the skyscrapers of the city quickly. As grey gloom filled the sky, it filled your mood as well. Before you could make it to the closest metro entrance the rain was really pouring down. Unprepared, you had to stop, and dipped quickly into the nearest shop. Observing quickly that it was a record shop you smiled, it was probably a store you would have stopped in anyway.

Convenient, you’d thought to yourself. You started to the right. Flipping through the large cardboard packages to find a cover that could catch your eye. Music was playing over the store speakers, a trippy, rock song from the 60’s. The air in the shop smelt like sandalwood and vanilla incense. You hadn’t noticed anyone else in the shop yet, so you assumed the owner must be someone much older.

Still shuffling through old records you imagined him clearly. A salt and pepper head of hair, mostly salt, pulled back into a ponytail that hung down his back. An old Led Zeppelin T-shirt that used to be black, but was now gray. Much like his hair. A pair of old jeans with holes that they’d earned not holes that had been predesigned. You filed the image away and smiled to yourself, hoping you’d be right.

The music playing in the store, in various genres and from various decades, along with the countless records to keep you company kept you from checking the time. You’d had no idea how long you’d been in the shop and had forgotten all about the fact that you’d still yet to see a single other person. You had several records in your arms and were nearly halfway through the store when one of your favorite songs started playing.

There was something about soul songs. It never really mattered where you were or what kind of mood you were in. Your body would just involuntarily start to move. Something barely noticeable at first, just a bop of your head, and then it moved through you. A roll of your shoulders, a pop of your hips. Stevie Wonders’ Superstition was almost halfway over when your realized you were full blown dancing down the middle row of the store. The words of the song falling from your lips. You felt okay about it, there still wasn’t anyone around, so it wasn’t hurting anyone for you to enjoy yourself.

“Very superstitious… nothing more to say...” you sang lightly, as you bopped your way down the aisle and then back, “very superstitious… the devil’s on his way.”

You dropped your bags, from the other stores you’d been at on the ground and began to spin, holding the records you’d grabbed close to your chest, feeling the song. Eventually the song finished, as they often did, with your unabashed dancing finishing with it. You let out a puff of air as you looked down to collect your bags. That’s when the clapping came from somewhere up above. You looked up to see a loft that you had genuinely not noticed at all the entire time you’d been there.

The sight of another human startled you and you jerked back, bumping into the row of records, dropping the ones that had been in your hands. An incredibly handsome man was leaning over the railing, clapping as he smiled down at you. He looked nothing like the old, rocker, record shop owner you’d dreamt up, not in the least. This man, this handsome young man. He was tall, long, lanky. He looked both very big and intimidating, and yet somehow fragile and precious as well. A smirk lingered on his lips, one of his thick, dark eyebrows was perked up in amusement. His eyes were more than you could handle, even from as far away as he was. He was looking at you, of course, but it was more than that. It felt like he was absorbing you completely, so much that you had to look away. Your feet seemed like a more appropriate subject to stare at.

“I’m so sorry.” you said shakily. “I didn’t realize there was anyone else here.”

“You didn’t think there would be some sort of employee...in a store?” he asked, with a clear lightheartedness.

You dared to look back up at him. You weren’t sure of what you’d been hoping for but he was still just as handsome as before. Now his smirk was a full smile and you were melting. “I figured someone would be here. I guess I just forgot about it, since I had been here so long and hadn’t seen you.”

“Well don’t stop on account of me.” he shrugged standing up to his full height, you knew that even if he were standing in front of you, you’d still be looking up at him.

“Excuse me?” you said finally leaning down and grabbing the records you’d dropped.

“Dancing.” he grinned down at you before turning around to do something else. His voice still carried down to you, “Dance harder even. And you could sing louder, there’s no harm in it.”

“I don’t- I’m not going to dance in front of a stranger.” you scoffed. “Now that I know you’re here.”

“Why not?” he asked turning back around, peering over the railing, “Where are you from?”

“Where am I from?” you asked confused.

“That was the question I asked.” he nodded.

You sighed, “I’m...from here.”

“Oh,” he exclaimed,  as if surprised, “I had assumed maybe you came from that little town in Footloose.”

“Hah. Hah.” you said sarcastically as you turned back to the records.

“I’m serious. What’s your favorite song to dance to?” he asked, “No, nevermind. I got it.”

You flipped through two or three more records. The store music had stopped playing and you could hear shuffling up in the loft. Then you sighed, your curiosity becoming too much, and you looked back up.

“Got it!” He exclaimed from somewhere out of view.  

“You broke my heart 'cause I couldn't dance. You didn't even want me around…”  the song by The Contours began and your eyes widened slightly.

The man, whose name you still did not know, popped back into view. A smile that showed just how pleased he was with himself spread across his face. You watched half mortified as he started to shimmy down a set of stairs that lined the wall. He kicked his long legs out in a less than graceful manner, stopped halfway down the stairs to stick his butt out and shake it unceremoniously, and then hopped down several others. You covered your mouth, your laugh, as he continued on. Shaking his hips, throwing his limbs all over the places with little to no coordination.

“What are you doing?” you asked, as he reached the row you were in.

“What you should be doing. Dancing.” he grinned, he twisted his hips with every step he took, getting closer and closer to where you stood.

You shook your head no, “I don’t know what that is, but it’s not dancing.”

Now, standing just in front of you, he plucked the records from your hands and put them on the shelf before grabbing your hands in his.  With too much enthusiasm he made you twist with him to the song, “Anything can be dancing if you believe hard enough.”

So began your casual and strange friendship with Seunghyun. It was relatively more relaxed now. Although he still, and often, made you dance with him in public. You’d gotten used to it. Not comfortable per say, but you knew it was going to happen and that there was no stopping it where he was concerned.

As the months you spent together turned to years, he became much less intimidating than he was that first day. You still thought he was handsome, it was likely that you always would, but he was more than that now. He was kind of a dummy, which was your favorite part, your bingu. He was silly and had this willingness to look like an idiot in front of others that was so uncommon in other people. He just didn’t care what anyone thought about him. You envied it, mostly because you knew that the freedom he got from not caring was what made him so happy.

He also became a great friend to you. Supporting you in every endeavor, talking you through plans and ideas, stoking the fires of all of your passions where others never really seemed to care. Seunghyun also seemed to have a unnatural knack at knowing when a guy you were dating was a piece of garbage. Or you just seemed to have an unnatural knack at only finding men who were garbage and he knew that about you. He talked you out of staying in bad relationships for too long and always seemed to know how a guy would end up disappointing you. He was also the first one, every time, to suggest you get back into the game. Rooting for you, knowing someday you’d find the perfect person.

Sitting across from Seunghyun one afternoon at your favorite cafe, you’d become pretty certain you did find the perfect person. He was sitting leaned back in his chair, one long leg crossed over the other, the Sunday paper unfolded in his hands. You were sure he was single handedly keeping print news alive, the grandpa. Just another thing to love about him really, as you sat with your paperback book open on your lap, unread for the last half hour.

Over the paper you could just see his coiffed hair and the tips of his big ears. On the table sat his half full cup of coffee and a plate with just the top of his muffin. He’d already eaten the rest, he just liked to save the top for last. Your plate was just crumbs by now and your coffee was nearing its end.

“Hey…” you said grabbing his attention. You put your book in the bag at your side.

Seunghyun folded his paper and placed it next to his coffee. He turned his body towards you. Giving you his full focus, as he always did. He smiled, “What’s up?”

“Do you remember the other day,” you paused to take a nervous breath, “we were talking about how I liked this guy. You told me to just get over my fear and ask the guy if he wants to go out sometime?”

“Yeah, of course.” He popped the entire muffin top in his mouth like it was a grape and chewed for a moment. You watched his sharp jaw work as he maneuvered the pastry so it was in one cheek, making him look like half a chipmunk. “Oh! Did you do it?”

You gave a small smile, watching a few crumbs fall from his lips to somewhere in his lap. “Not yet. Um, well, you see… It’s you.”

“Who’s me?” he asked absentmindedly grabbing his coffee mug and taking a gulp to clear his mouth of muffin.

“The guy. The one I like, it’s you. Maybe would you want to go out sometime?”

You watched as he lifted his face to you, watched as his eyebrows went from creased in confusion to raised in understanding. His mouth fell into a sort of ‘o’ shape and then he just stared.

“Ah, yes. My biggest fears realized.” you nodded, trying to ignore the burning embarrassment in your chest.

“No! It’s not…” he sighed uncomfortably, “I really like you. That’s why I spend so much time with you, you’re maybe the only person I do like, on the whole planet.”

“But…” you interrupted.

He tapped his long fingers on the table trying to find the right words to say, “However, there are just some things about me you don’t know, that you wouldn’t like. There are reasons we can’t be together, without you making some major sacrifices. I wouldn’t want you to waste your time on me.”

“Sure, Seunghyun, it’s fine. Whatever. Let’s just pretend this moment never happened.” you said rolling your eyes.

“I’m serious! I -” he paused, his bottom lip tucked under his teeth for a second in genuine contemplation.

He leaned forward and used his stupidly large hand to bekon you closer. Suddenly, you realized, everything about him that had made butterflies flutter in your belly moments earlier, seemed annoying to you now. You leaned forward despite that.

“What?” you said with a little more bite than necessary.

“I’m... the devil. As in Satan.” he leaned back a little to check your reaction.

Your face remained completely stoic as you processed the confession. Then came a small smirk, that grew into a full smile, and then before he knew it you were leaned back in your chair laughing hysterically. You clutched at your chest, desperate for air. Tears streamed freely down your cheeks. Seunghyun sat forward in his chair, elbows on his knees as he watched your reaction intently.

“Ohhh,” you said finally able to gasp in a couple of satisfying breaths, “that was good. That was really good.”

“What?” he asked confused.

“I mean, I’m sorry? You’re telling me you’re supposed to be the devil?...Funny, you look nothing like I imagined.”

“How did you imagine I would look?” he asked, you assumed, still playing along with his bit.

“Hornier. More horny? Having more horns.” you casually, verbally processed your thoughts, “and you’re missing a tail for sure.”

“Haven’t you ever heard the saying devilishly handsome?” he asked framing his perfect face with his hands.

“Sure, but you can’t dance for shit.” you pointed out.

“What- what the hell does that have to do with anything, number one. And number two, yes I can!” he argued.

“There’s that other saying as well, dance with the devil?”

He shook his head looking a little annoyed, “That’s not what that saying means.”

“Oh?” you thought about it for a moment, and chuckled. “Oh!”

“There we go.”

“Well, anyway. I’ve been rejected, not a lot but enough, and that was the most unique excuse by far. So, congratulations on that I guess.”

“It’s not an excuse. I really am Lucifer. The Fallen.” he almost looked genuinely offended, you thought to yourself.

“Yeah, okay.” you said sarcastically, “I believe you.”

“Don’t wink at me!” he whined, “I’ll take you to hell right now!”

“Oh yeah? You’ll take me to hell?” you smirked.

“Yes!”

“You’ll take me right on down and give me a tour? Show me where the magic happens?” you snickered.

Seunghyun stood, frustrated and slammed his palms flat on the table before shouting, “It’s not a joke! I am the devil!”

The entire cafe turned toward your table, save for a guy near the door with his headphones obviously up too high. Seunghyun didn’t even care, he just looked down at you, fuming. His big ears pink at the tops. Not bending at all to his display you grabbed your iced coffee and placed the straw at your lips. You took a long, exaggerated sip and then placed the cup back down, never breaking eye contact.  

“You done, Luci?” you asked calmly.

He sat back down and sighed, “I am the devil.”

“So what if you are?” you asked, his eyes shot up to look at you like you were a mad woman. “The devil wasn’t even that bad. In most cultures he’s not some evil entity, just so you know. And even if you looked at it from religions that do consider him evil it’s because he questioned God, and what’s so wrong with that? Shouldn’t we always question authority? Don’t those in power just want to stay in power? Of course God would make him out to be some asshole, he was coming for his throne.”

Seunghyun smiled lightly at your words as you continued on, “Even if you were the devil, that just means that the devil is actually also very funny, and smart and he’s kind. That would just make him supportive, and passionate. It would mean he’s incredibly handsome, and a horrible dancer. But also the kind of guy that does it anyway because it makes him happy. And shouldn’t we all just do the things that make us happy?”  

With very little warning, Seunghyun stood up and leaned his long body over the small cafe table. He grabbed your face between his two big hands and kissed you, hard. He sucked your lip like he was sucking up your soul and you wanted him to. You lifted your hands to cup his face. His jaw sharp on the palm of your hand, his hair tickling the tips of your fingers. You groaned in disapproval as he pulled away and sat back down. You took several seconds, eyes closed, rubbing your lips together. Giving your spirit time to float back into your body before looking across the table.

“Add kissing to the list of reasons the devil isn’t so bad.” Seunghyun smiled, but the look on his face was still quite serious.

“What if- “ he held up a finger to stop whatever snarky comeback you’d opened your mouth to say. “Just let me finish.”

Placing your thumb and pointer finger together, you zipped your mouth shut. You’d hear him out. He was, after all, very committed to this joke.

“If I was really the devil, would you still be interested in that date?”

“It depends, is the Prince of Darkness looking for something long term or just a hook-up?” you asked.

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

“With you?” he said eyeing you as you sat before him, he smiled again, “Long term. The longest term. Eternity.”

A blush bloomed across your cheeks, he was so cheesy. “Then yes, I would still be interested in that date”.

“Okay.” Seunghyun gave a deep sigh and stood up. He reached his hand out to you, waiting for you to accept.

“Where are we going?” you asked standing up and grabbing your bag before dropping your hand in his.

“I have something to show you.”

You kept pace with his long stride as he walked you to the door of the cafe. With your hand in his, trusting his direction, you looked inside your bag to check for your essentials. Phone, keys, and wallet. Just to be sure before you go too far away from the cafe that you had them. You heard the ding of the bell hanging from the door of the cafe as you dug your free hand in the bag to feel for your wallet. Seunghyun had stopped walking and you stopped by his side, still shuffling through your things until you finally found the wallet. Content that you had all your things you looked up for the first time since leaving the table.

“Unholy shit.” you muttered, your eyes widening at the sight.

Instead of the city street you’d been expecting there was a massive castle made out of what you thought looked like obsidian. Large towers surrounding the castle held orbs of flame in red, orange, blue and white suspended in the air above them. Somehow this place was both everything you had imagined hell would be and nothing at all like it. It wasn’t just all black skies and fire pits. There was a softness to it, it felt like an endless sunset streaked across the sky above you. The temperature was not uncomfortable and the mere fact that you’d had that thought made you laugh to yourself.

Turning around you realized the door to the cafe was gone. In its place was a large stretch of mostly desolate land. Trees with large trunks and long, thin branches, were peppered across the land like the graveyard of a forest, and all that was left was skeletons. Further away you could make out sharp peaked mountains. You turned back to Seunghyun, half expecting him to turn into the red horned caricature he was often portrayed as, but he wasn’t. He was still him. Still handsome in his black, button down covered in red polka dots and his tight black jeans.

“Okay, you’re the devil.” you said, “I believe you.”

“Are you scared?” he asked, “I can bring you back.”

You looked at him for just a second before squeezing his hand that was still holding yours. “I’m not scared, and I don’t want to go back.”

“You want the tour then?” he asked with a shy smile and you nodded enthusiastically, how many people could say they’d had the chance?

As he walked you up a long path to the obsidian castle you asked, genuinely curious, “Why the record store?”

“You don’t know already?” he asked, “I love to dance.”

#Choi Seunghyun Scenario #Big Bang scenario #kpop scenario #TOP Scenario #Request #completed request #prompt challenge

[welcometophu]

Extra: someone to haul him back

At the end of Missed Fortunes, Pawel sends a message to Carolyn that he’s leaving to look into something. But he’ll be back for Into the Split, and I decided to write a wee short piece about his absence and return, from the perspective of his neighbor, Emily.

--

someone to haul him back PG, ~4k words, Gen (Pawel, Emily, Conor, Alan, John)

“It’s only been a few days, John. We’re doing fine.” Emily has half an ear on the phone and the other half tuned to the background sounds in her house. Alan and Conor are up in Alan’s room and, despite the no magic rule, the lights have flickered three times since they got home from school. As the power blinks one more time, she sighs. “Excuse me, hang on.” She covers the mouthpiece of the phone, lowering it away from her mouth.

“Alan! Conor! Whatever you are doing that’s affecting the electricity, cut it out! Conor, you promised! Alan, Conor’s a guest and he can go somewhere else if he needs to!” She moves her hand, brings the phone back to her ear. “I’m not actually going to kick him out, John. You know that and I know that, and I’m sure they know that. We’re all just pretending.”

“I understand,” John murmurs. Emily’s positive he called from work; she can hear papers shuffling in the background, and the occasional tapping of a keyboard. “But still, it’s Wednesday, and he left Conor with you on Sunday. Have you heard from Pawel?”

Thuds across the ceiling, then a distinct pause before the next series of thuds down the stairs. Emily watches as the boys leap from three stairs above the landing trying to outdo each other in how far they can go. Conor shimmers in mid-air, and she’s positive his flight is enhanced by unconscious magic.

“No,” she admits, as the boys both skid to a stop in front of her. “Have you?”

“Is that Conor?” John asks, and Emily knows that means he hasn’t. “Put me on speaker.”

“Dziadziu!” Conor yells out as Emily presses the button.

“Conor.” John’s voice is low and deep. Even. Calm.

Pawel’s told Emily that he takes after his mother more than his father, and it’s times like this when Emily can see it clearly. And Conor’s exactly like Pawel. She wonders sometimes how John handles it, his son and grandson so different in personality from himself.

“Hullo, Grandpa Szczek!” Alan yells. He bumps shoulders with Conor. “I’m going to go get us juice and crackers. Come back upstairs when you’re done. We need to finish our homework. Hey mom, can we go over to the park after we’re done? It’s not raining and Addison said she’s going to walk her dog later.”

“Finish your homework first, then we’ll talk.” Emily’s all too used to the way Alan and Conor distract each other. “Show me finished work. And sooner is better; you can’t go if it’s too close to when your dad comes home and dinner’s on the table.”

“Conor, hurry up!” Alan admonishes before rushing off to the kitchen.

Conor watches him go, then reaches for the phone. Emily places it in his hands and hesitates, not sure if she should stick around.

No. John called her, and he’s on speaker. They’ll tell her if they want her to go.

She drops into the recliner and sits back, hands folded.

“How’s school?” John asks.

Conor paces as he talks, his free hand moving fluidly, gesturing between the air and the phone. Emily can almost see a trail of crackles in the air. “History sucks. I hate memorizing things, but Alan’s really good at it so he helps me. We’re doing fractions in math and that’s really easy. Marjorie’s still really stupid—”

“Conor.”

He cuts off at the sound of John’s voice. Conor stands there, one hand fixed in the air, his eyes wide. “Uninformed,” Conor says darkly. “I know I’m not supposed to call people stupid but I don’t know what else to say when she doesn’t listen and she doesn’t learn and everything she says is really mean and uninformed.”

Silence for a long moment. Emily’s met John several times, and she can easily imagine the patient but disappointed look he gives Conor. She’s sure Conor can imagine it too, from the way he squirms.

“Maybe she’s learning from someone else,” John says quietly. “There are a lot of people in this world, Conor, and they don’t all have the same beliefs.”

“But some things are just wrong!” Conor protests, his expression falling when John responds with silence again.

“Some things are wrong,” John agrees finally, “but there are other things which are, in the end, at least partly opinion. Some opinions may be kinder to others, but you can’t call someone stupid for having a different opinion.”

“She said a bad thing about religion,” Conor said. “And about me marrying Alan last fall.”

Emily had honestly thought that would blow over. She thought that they’d have their schoolyard wedding, and everything would go back to their usual friendship, like all third grade crushes. But her son and Conor had been steadfast in calling each other husbands since then. She isn’t sure if it’s their way of presenting a united front in magic and queerness, or if they’ve been close for so long that they honestly can’t see a future without each other.

They’re nine years old. There’s still so much future ahead.

“Teach her gently, Conor,” John says. “I grew up in a place where people said terrible things about me and my family, because my father spoke broken English, and my mother didn’t speak English at all. I got into fights when I was your age, and it took me a long time to realize that the only thing that fighting ever taught anyone was how to fight.”

Conor makes a disgruntled noise.

“Tell me about your science project,” John says. “Pawel mentioned that you’ve got a fair coming up in April.”

It’s a good way to reroute him, and Conor quickly shifts topics, explaining in detail how they’ve been teaching the classroom mouse to run through a maze. John mm-hms once in a while, but overall he lets Conor chatter on until Alan returns and nudges Conor with his foot. Alan’s hands are full with two brimming glasses of juice and a bowl of crackers, and Conor takes one of the glasses and drinks it between words.

“I have to go do homework, Dziadziu,” Conor says. “You can have Emily back now. I love you!” He sets the phone down on the table next to Emily, then kisses the air in the direction of it. There’s the distinct sound of a smacking kiss being sent back.

“Be good for Emily,” John admonishes.

Conor laughs, racing from the room and halfway up the stairs before he yells out, “I’m always good!”

Emily picks up the phone, but doesn’t bother taking it off of speaker. “It’s been a little chaotic,” she admits, once again answering his very first question about how things have been going since Pawel abruptly dropped Conor off on Sunday. “But then, it always is. Those two feed on each other, and I think it isn’t just emotional. Conor’s energy has been higher every day, and today I swear I can see the sparks when he moves. I wish I knew more about their magic, and how it works. I might want to reach out to that commune in Vermont that Pawel mentioned.”

“Mm,” John murmurs. “Or, if Pawel’s going to be gone for a long time, I could come get Conor. He could take a few days off school, have a small vacation with me, and get himself back under control. If it looks like it’s going to be longer, I can arrange for him to join a class here.”

“I hate the idea of uprooting him,” Emily says. She doesn’t need to think about it; she knows that it would be traumatic, and even when Conor says everything’s fine, she knows he’s worried about Pawel. “He and Alan lean on each other. Maybe it’s a little co-dependent, but I know I can rely on them to keep each other moving forward. Conor needs his stability right now. Besides, you aren’t any more comfortable with the magic than I am.” It’s not meant to be a jab, just a simple statement of fact.

After all, Conor is in a strange grey area of Talent, in that he probably inherited it from Pawel, but his father is Emergent, not Lineage. And Alan is purely Emergent. If Pawel’s theory is right, Alan’s Talent Emerged as strongly and as young as it did due to his friendship with Conor.

But Pawel didn’t Emerge until after he’d left John’s home to come to Unity.

“We’re both in the dark sometimes,” Emily says quietly, and John mm-hms his agreement.

There are thumps upstairs, but the lights stay steady, and Emily exhales. The sound of the game system starting up is distinct, and while Alan has it up too loud, she doesn’t mind right now, since she can tell what he’s doing. She knows they’re safe. She just hopes they’ve finished their homework, not decided to ignore it completely.

A door slams outside, and Emily reaches for the phone, heading for the door. “It sounds like Eric’s home early. Good, he can cook, while I walk over to the park with the boys. With the mood they’re in, I’m not sure I want them go—oh.” She stops as soon as she gets the door open, because Pawel is right there, his scraggly beard even thicker after the few days away, his eyes rimmed with dark circles.

“Emily?” John asks.

“Dad.” Pawel takes a step forward, stumbling on the threshold.

Emily drops the phone to reach for him, catching him when he sags into her arms, leaning heavily against her. She can’t move like this, carrying his weight, but she can hold him here, waiting for him to regain his stability.

John’s voice is distant, muffled and indistinct with the phone face down on the floor.

“I’m okay,” Pawel murmurs, but when he stands he wavers on his feet.

“No, you’re not,” Emily mutters back. She gets an arm around him, wedging herself under his shoulder. “John,” she calls out, raising her voice for the phone on the floor. “Let me get Pawel onto the couch, then I’ll grab the phone again.”

It takes a moment to do that, leaving Pawel slumped in the middle of the couch, his head tipped back, before she goes to slam the front door and retrieve the phone. She’s surprised Conor hasn’t made an appearance by the time she joins Pawel on the couch, but then, the music from the game seems to have gotten louder. It’s a contrast to Pawel’s low, ragged breath, offering a dissonant counterpoint with the distant sound of cheerful rolling tunes speckled with scattered beeps.

“Well?” John asks.

Pawel groans. “Dad, there are times when I swear you have some kind of prescience. What are the chances that you’d be on the phone when I got here?”

“Pretty high, since you’ve been gone for three days with no word,” John says dryly. “It’s Wednesday, son. I wanted to check in and see if Emily needed anything, since you left Conor there on Sunday.”

“We’ve been fine,” Emily assures him. There’s a shimmer in the air by the stairs, and the volume of the game system has dropped again slightly, but still no sign of the boys themselves. “The boys claimed they were doing their homework so they could go to the park, but either they’ve finished, or they’ve decided not to worry about the park to see a friend and a dog.” She raises her voice slightly. “Because no dogs or playtime until homework is done.”

The volume cuts abruptly. Pawel snorts.

“Do you remember the house on High Road?” John asks. The sudden shift in subject makes no sense to Emily, but Pawel leans forward, focused on the phone.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “We lived there until I was what… ten? We moved the year before Mom died.”

“You loved that house,” John says quietly. “It had a huge back yard, and there wasn’t a fence, but it had a high hemlock hedge across the back, and pine trees down the sides. They were hollow enough that you could fit under the trees, and between the hemlocks in the hedge. Your mother was a small enough woman that she fit, too. You’d go hunting fairies together in the backyard.”

Pawel reaches down, undoes the laces on his shoes and pushes them off. When he sits back, he sags into the cushions.

Emily mimes drinking, and he shakes his head, gestures at the phone where John is still talking.

“Your mom used to say the house was haunted,” John says. “Sylvia was—she was a creative woman, your mom. Taught you to believe in magic.”

“Turned out she was right,” Pawel points out.

John huffs. “Yes, she was. Been thinking, and I figure maybe she was right about the house being haunted, too. We moved because she couldn’t be in that house any more. She said the girl who slept in your room was so sad, she cried all night and kept her awake. I thought—well, I figured it’d be better for her to move, then. She talked about Leanne like she was real. I remember her saying that Leanne would never hurt you, but that she might hurt someone else, if she was trying to protect you.”

Pawel’s brow furrows. “Dad. Leanne was my imaginary friend when I was a kid.”

“I know, son. I know. And when your mom was diagnosed not long after we moved, well, I just figured that her getting confused was part of it.” John exhales, a low, long sound. “Thinking back on it, though, with everything you’ve told me, I have to wonder if Leanne was just as real as you. And if Sylvia saw more in her than even you did. I wonder sometimes if Sylvia knew more, maybe even instinctively, and if she would’ve been better with all this magic than I am.”

There’s a small pause, and John coughs. “Anyway. I have a point in this. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when you’ve gotten in too deep, son. Back then I thought that maybe your mom imagined things because she was sick. These days, I’m starting to wonder if she got sick because she saw things, and they ate her up from the inside.”

A thin sliver of cold crawls up Emily’s spine. She reaches out, one hand on Pawel’s arm, and feels the shudder that runs through him as well.

“I’m—” Pawel cuts off when Emily squeezes his arm hard. He glances at the shimmer in the air by the stairs, then back to her. “I’m going be fine, Dad,” he says firmly. “I’m taking care of myself, and I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re lying about that last bit,” John mutters dryly. “You’re still figuring this all out, aren’t you.” The words are flat, not a question at all.

He’s definitely lying. Emily’s known Pawel a long time, and she knows the face he makes when he’s struggling to hold back the truth. She also suspects he hasn’t bathed in days, and his eyes are sunken like he needs gallons of water to rehydrate.

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, John,” she says.

“You going to tell us what sent you off on a hunt for information this time, son?” John asks.

The tension slips from Pawel’s body when John doesn’t keep pushing at the subject of his health. “A substantiated rumor,” he says quietly, glancing toward the stairs. “But I couldn’t get much more than that. I suspect that I may need to go to the source, which I think is somewhere in Eastern Europe. I need more detail than that, so I figured I’d come home for more research first.”

John coughs encouragingly, and Emily gestures. Pawel leans forward, elbows on his knees, head bowed.

“I found a reference to a ritual that was supposedly performed decades ago—long before the Emergence—in order to banish Deathstalkers from the world,” Pawel says quietly. “I was able to determine that the Mages that had performed the ritual were from a group living northeast of San Antonio. The families were primarily descended from people who had—” He cuts off when John coughs again. “Yes, Dad?”

“Without the history lecture,” John says carefully. “We’re not students sitting in a lecture hall.”

“There were Mages who’d been plagued by a rash of Deathstalkers something like thirty or forty years ago, and they developed a ritual based on texts from their ancestors. It was supposed to banish Deathstalkers. I think something may have gone differently than they expected,” Pawel says dryly. “But without access to those original texts, which this community no longer has, I can’t figure out exactly what they intended to do. It’s possible that they accomplished exactly what they intended, but current problems we’re having are an unforeseen side-effect. Also, this group was very careful about separating discussions of Deathstalkers, Shadowwalkers, and Soulstealers, which is something I think Carolyn will be interested in for her thesis.”

“What does this mean in the context of what you’ve been overworking yourself for?” John asks. “And when will you be able to take a break? Come visit. Isn’t the school on break soon?”

“Next week, but I can’t leave right now.”

“You need a holiday.”

“I need to fix this, Dad.” Pawel’s voice rises to a shout. The shimmer by the stairs fades, and the door to Alan’s room slams open.

“Dad!” Conor races down the stairs, tackling Pawel on the couch. He climbs into his lap, arms around him, curls in close. Alan follows more slowly, but he echoes Conor’s body language, settling himself in Emily’s lap as if he’s still a toddler, his head resting on her shoulder.

“Conor.” Pawel exhales his name.

“Think about it,” John says darkly. “I can see that I can’t convince you right now, but you need to stop before you run into a wall. You have a child to take care of, and if you can’t make him your priority—”

Pawel makes a strangled noise as Conor wraps his arms around his neck and burrows in close. “I know, Dad,” he manages to say, as he pats Conor on the back. “I haven’t lost sight of my parental duties. Believe me, I am absolutely aware of how many people, Conor included, are counting on me for guidance.”

“Conor.” John raises his voice.

Conor loosens his grip on Pawel, slides off his lap to sit next to him. “Yeah, Dziadziu?”

“If you are at all worried about your father, at any time, you call Emily first, and me next,” John says firmly. “Pawel, if you’re going to act like a child, then I’m going to treat you like one.”

“Jesus, Dad, I’m not acting like—”

“If you can’t take care of yourself, someone has to.” John speaks over him, and Emily sits back, wincing as Alan tightens his hold on her.

Silence, for long enough that Conor swallows audibly before speaking. “Yes, Dziadziu,” he says soberly. “If Dad starts chasing Shadows or stops shaving again, or gets all grey and exhausted, I’ll call you.”

“How many of those things has he already done?”

“All of them.”

“Conor. Stop.” Pawel closes his eyes, sinks back. “It’s not that bad, Dad.”

“We’ll all take care of him,” Emily says. “I know I’m in over my head with this, and I know Pawel feels like he has a responsibility to his students. John, you’d understand if you met them. From what I’ve heard, some of them make it look like Pawel’s the adult who considers each move before leaping.”

Conor snickers.

“When you were a child, your mother and I used to say that someday you’d have a child just like yourself to raise,” John murmurs. “I didn’t mean for you to find a whole campus of them. And Pawel, if you think they’re just children, then so are you. You’re not all that much older than them. Remember, you can’t save them all. And you can’t live their lives for them. If they are so damned determined to leap off a bridge without checking for sharks in the water, they need to learn their lessons.”

Pawel blinks his eyes open, his jaw set. “You’re the one who taught me the importance of every kid like me having a safety net, Dad. Or someone to grab their shirt and haul them back from the edge.”

It resonates with Emily, that every child needs a safety net. She might be older than Pawel, but she’s not all that far out from her rebellious teenage years. “My folks had the attitude that they’d let me leap without looking, but they’d be there to pick up the pieces if everything fell apart,” she says quietly. “Pawel, we’re here to help you pick up the pieces, and you’ll be there if those kids need you. But you really do need to prioritize yourself first. Give yourself some time to recover over break, then meet up with them when they’re all back. You’ll be rested, they’ll have some time to think, and maybe you can come up with a sane plan then.”

“And if he doesn’t, you’ll tell me,” John says.

“Yes, I will,” Conor offers.

“Suppose that’ll have to do.”

“Message received and heard, Dad,” Pawel says. He scrubs a hand through his hair, ending up with it at the base of his head, holding on like he’s trying to keep himself still. “I think you’re right. A little time to rest and relax and process is what we all need.”

“Conor, I’m trusting you to keep him to his word,” John says, and Conor shouts his agreement.

Pawel picks up the phone after that, walking into the kitchen with it while the boys head back upstairs. Emily doesn’t try to overhear the conversation, simply waits until she hears the soft thunk of Pawel setting the phone down. When he returns, he has two bottles of beer, and Emily takes one so Pawel won’t be drinking alone.

They clink the necks of the bottles together, and each take a long gulp.

“A week and a half of rest before you go back to saving the world?” Emily asks. When Pawel gives her a guilty look, she sets her bottle down so she can clasp his hand instead, squeezing tightly for a moment. “I’ve known you a while now, and I don’t see you letting this go. Just… let us help you. Me and Eric, and whoever else you need. If you and Conor need to go up to that place in Vermont, and you want me and Alan to go with you, just let me know. We can make it work. You’re our friend, Pawel, but you’re as good as family.”

Pawel squeezes his eyes shut, grips her hand tightly in return. “Okay,” he says without looking at her. “When the time comes to try to save the world again, I’ll make sure you know what I’m doing.”

“That’s not what I said.” Emily gives him a dark look, but she knows to take what she can get. There’s nothing Emily can do to change Pawel’s mind. All she can do is support him and Conor the best she can, and pick up the pieces when it’s over if it’s needed. “I’ll be there for you,” she says quietly.

He squeezes her fingers. “Thanks,” he says.

Emily gets the feeling it’s a one day at a time kind of situation. She’s just glad that the next bad day is more than a week out. She’s pretty sure Pawel’s going to need all the rest he can get before then.

#phu extra #welcome to phu #welcometophu #pawel szczek #conor szczek

[lokibannerpool]

Update on the Mun

so i have been lurking on here for a while, not really doing any drafts or replies. I’m not abandoning this blog and these muses, I just haven’t had the motivation lately to be active on this account. I have been active on my other blogs for the most part. you can find me on @forcedintoperfection @thevirginandthefool @worldsfastestpredator @strongestcullen  @zorii-unknown and/or @brokenprincessofasgard  

Now for the shitstorm that is my life right now.

If you’re basically homeless and you know it clap your hands  *clap clap*

So we (by we I mean my mom, little brother and I) finally got evicted for reals like around Feburary-ish. My mom’s bright idea for temporary living was to move in with the worst person possible, her crazy ass aunt (on my grandpa’s side). 

Not only was the move stressful, but living here is terrible, and most of that is because my mother’s aunt (i have disowned her so no she’s not my great aunt) is doing everything in her power to make us feel unwelcome. Before I go into details, let me point out that my brother refused to come stay here because he has never felt welcome in this house, so he’s staying with family from our grandmother’s side (still crazy, but slightly more reasonable). And although I technically still have a room there, I did not stay because they hate animals and the great aunt that lives there once told me that if she could make it up the stairs to our old apartment she’d kill my cats. Later she denied it, but yeah... that’s the kind of crazy on that side’ of the family.

I was going to take my cats and live in a hotel from paycheck to paycheck. i had done the math and i could afford 7 days from one paycheck if i literally didn’t buy anything else, and the hotel had free breakfast i didn’t have to worry about food at least if i could save some of the breakfast for lunch then probably do dinner at a family member’s house. (yeah not the best plan but for me if I’m giving up my cats to a shelter I’m giving up on life. plus hotel accepted animals and was legit cheaper than a putting them in a pet hotel which would have been 22 a night per cat... i have 5 cats and a part time job) BUT low and behold my mother pulls some strings with the aunt (only after catching me crying on eviction day because I didn’t know what to do with my babies) and suddenly I can keep the cats as long as they stay in the basement. Not ideal, but more affordable for me so I take it.

Now back to the hell house I’m trapped in.

1) It took a while to move everything in, but I think we were almost full settled in by a Friday or Saturday night. On the Monday (which was like day 3 of living there) my mother’s aunt not only called me repeatedly on my phone, she kept yelling my name from the first floor. When I finally become conscious enough to go see what she wants, she is telling me that I sleep too much, It’s ridiculous how much I sleep, I need to go get a job, I’m not going to sleep my life away in HER house, yada yada, then she goes on about how by my age she was living on her own and paying off her own car (both were confirmed to be lies by sources that were alive at that time. crazy bitch was still sleeping in the bed with her mother at 22).. Now maybe you think that’s not so bad? but I forgot to mention one little detail. 

It was only 8:10 AM  and I had class at 10 am.

My alarm clock was literally set to go off 20 minutes from that time. Not only was it early as fuck, but I had a class to go to so it wasn’t like i was going to be staying in the house all day. SHE KNEW I HAD CLASS, THAT WAS WHAT PISSED ME OFF THE MOST. I had literally been discussing my classes with her for weeks prior to even moving in with her. Another thing that interested me was how she conveniently waited until my mother had left to start harassing me. anyway, so i get dressed because im mad as hell by this point, and i get ready to leave in under 15 minutes so we’re around 8:30am by this point. When I get downstairs she is demanding that I come into her room, and against my better judgement I do but I’m in no mood to talk. She takes one look at my face and asks me “why are you pissed off?”  As if she didn’t know why. I don’t want to curse her out because I wasn’t raised to do things like that so i keep my mouth shut. She keeps trying to get me to talk, and at this point angry tears that I have been trying so hard to hold back are falling and she tells me I’m being dramatic and I’m over reacting. I tell her I have to go to class more than once and she’s still demanding that I sit and talk with her, so I just walk out.    She calls my phone more than once but I don’t answer because I am a) driving and b) still mad as hell. she leaves voicemails. 1 saying that im being overreacting and stuff. the second comes a few hours later with a fake apology after she apparently talked to my mother. I later find out that she lied to my mom and told her that she forgot I had school, yet when I was not trying to talk to her she was telling me i had 2 hours before i had to be in class.. so yeah and that was only the start of day 3 of living there.

2) Fast forward a few days because in this family, we apparently just go on like nothing happened after conflicts like this. My mom comes to me in the morning and warns me that the aunt had threatened to call the human society to take my cats away because I ‘don’t spend enough time with them’. Which pissed off my mom as much as me because she’s seen what I’ve done for these cats in the past 2 years. (especially with Brenda, who is a rescue stray I took in after she was covered in tape by strangers and either dropped at our door or she limped her way up the stairs to us for help, and the two litters of kittens she had in our apartment) 

The aunt confronts me about this after I come down to feed them by asking me “do you really want the cats” and then telling me not to get an attitude when I say “of course I do” rather defensively. She tells me the b.s. she told my mom to which i point out that we literally just got here, i have classes 5 days a week and work 7 days a week. Plus, she’s usually sleep when I come in after work so she doesn’t see me dragging my aching body (still sore from doing the brunt of the moving) down to the basement to replace the food and water and spend time with them before I go to bed and I would literally be sleeping down there if it wasn’t for my mom nagging me about my health (which tbh comes second to the cats in my opinion but she disagrees). She doesn’t seem all that convinced, and my anxiety was through the roof for the longest because i wasn’t sure if i was going to come back to a cat-less basement after work. 

My therapist has been having an earful btw. Literally the week before I knew we were being evicted I spent most of a session trying to find something to talk to her about and now I have at least one new problem ever week. 

3) This woman has no respect for me or my mother. She’s verbally attacked my mother and berated her more than once. (today included) and at one point accused my mom of using her father for money(who died only 2 years prior, and who is the only one who took responsibility for making all the funeral arrangements and is still struggling to pay that bill because no one else wanted to help). This is sidetracking a little, but my mom did a lot for my grandfather. Brought his medical supplies with a loan she had taken out from her job, literally came to wash him up multiple times because his in house nurse wasn’t doing it, and pretty much ran every errand he asked for her and if she couldn’t do it she had me do it for her... so yeah to say she was using him was really fucked up and it really hurt my mom.

3.5) One morning (last week) i literally caught her and her ‘tenant’ (aka her brother’s ex girlfriend who he left for his wife 2 years ago and refuses to leave his family’s home) talking shit about me and my mom. How we’re dirty,  my mom walks too loud, complaining about us having mini conversations late at night (which only happened once), calling my mom fat, and saying that she’s not  ‘dainty’ and ‘feminine’ enough and they don’t know how she kept a man for so long... really just talking trash while im standing at the top of the stairs listening. I wait until they finish to say anything and they’re not even ashamed or apologetic. The aunt literally says “good. now you can tell your mom what i said” after  i said i heard just about all of it. She seemed offended when I refused to be her messenger. She then tried to talk shit about my mom to me, going as far to tell me that my mother a ‘fat slob’. And because I don’t want to be kicked out before we find a place, I have to bite my tongue and just walk away while she purposely baits me and tells me to ‘speak my mind’. 

There is so much more I could write about, like how she (a woman who has never had a cat in her life) is always telling me how to take care of my cats like I don’t know what I’m doing, yet she’s basing this all off the dog she had (but didn’t really want or take care of) over 10 years ago.  Or how she likes to try to provoke me or my mom (but mostly me because I’m the easier target I guess) whenever she’s bored. The fact that she forced cable boxes on us, then demanded my mom pay her $400 for the installation of the cable despite us both making it very clear we didn’t want it. How she’s always trying to say someone is trying to use her as if my mom isn’t paying $800 a month for two little ass rooms and a bathroom/kitchen we have to share with two other people And sooo much more. 

I’ve ended up self harming for the first time in about two-ish years while staying here. My suicidal thoughts are  happening very often and honestly I’ve turned to drinking my feelings away when I’m not cutting them away. I’ve literally been so stressed that my period disappeared for like 3 months (no im not pregnant. gotta be sexually active to get pregnant so yes its stress) and I’m pretty sure I’m developing some sort of repressed anger issues that I should probably mention to my therapist but I keep forgetting. 

So that’s pretty much what’s been going on in my life lately. 

And I don’t know how to end this so... there

#ooc #mun problems #mun rant #negativity tw #suicide tw #self harm tw #alcohol tw

[askpillow]

I don’t even know how to start this update, so I’m just going to jump right into it. Life update under the cut. Trigger warning for talk of blood and miscarriage.

Back on Feb 8th, I found out I was pregnant. At that time, they were estimating that I was 19 weeks and 6 days along, and suffice to say, I was terrified. My boyfriend is having some legal troubles at the moment and so I couldn’t tell him because there was nothing he could do (also, his family would have driven me insane), I just recently got this job and am still trying t catch up on all of my bills, and after telling my mom, we were afraid to tell her boyfriend lest he kick us out.

So, that was a pretty stressful thing and I ended up doing my best to not think about it. I mean, I thought about it all the time, of course. I was busy trying to find an OB/GYN so I could maybe find out how far along I actually was and see if I could make this pregnancy work. I mean don’t get me wrong, babies freak me out and I didn’t really want kids in the first place, but there was no way in hell that I was going to give my kid up or anything else.

So I was trying to find an OB/GYN, but.. I ended up not even making it that far. On the 12th, I started having extremely painful cramps and light bleeding. I probably should have gone to the doctor right away, maybe something could have been done, and maybe not. But I didn’t. I went to work and did my best to relax and not stress out anymore. And it seemed to work for a little while.

Then we found out Monday, that we were supposed to get some ice Tuesday night. And since mom and I work at the same place and have the same schedule, we go into work together all the time. Anyway, come Tuesday night, we get a hotel room. And by some miracle, it was in the medical mile, right across from the hospital. I say miracle because of a few things.

My mom doesn’t walk very well and our room was on the second floor, and I, not even thinking about it because it was something I did all the time, carried all of our stuff up stairs and into our room. We were there for maybe an hour when I started just.. gushing blood. I mean, before, when I first started bleeding, I didn’t even spot a pad. Now I was filling one up within a couple minutes.

So my mom started the car and I grabbed all of the towels from the hotel and put them under me and we drove across the street to the hospital. Before, it hadn’t really hurt to move, but now every movement hurt. Including putting me in a wheelchair and wheeling me into a room. But, it had to be done to find out what was going on. So, wincing and whimpering with each movement, I suffered through and got wheeled into a room where I was allowed to change and sit down on a bed.

Everything else from there happened all at once and in slow motion. A doctor came in and I found out that my baby was in my vagina, amniotic sac still intact. I also found out that I was actually 23 weeks pregnant and the likelihood of my baby surviving was very, very slim. Had I been able to carry her just a while longer, there would have been a better chance of saving her.

From there, I was given fluids through an IV, had my blood drawn for labs and then wheeled into a delivery room. Again, everything hurt from all of the constant moving around. But I made it to the delivery room, crying in pain the whole time. I wasn’t in there for more than a couple minutes before there was someone else coming in to talk about the likelihood of my baby surviving and what I wanted to do if she did. From there, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me an epidural, which also hurt like hell. Also, he apparently went a little too deep, because once it kicked in, I couldn’t move my lower half at all or feel anything. Which was fine by me, because that meant that I wasn’t hurting anymore.

However, as I learned a little while later, a major side effect of getting an epidural is a drop in blood pressure. And for me apparently, they had a very hard time bringing my blood pressure back up to normal levels. To the point in fact, that at one point, after coming to because I needed to puke [because apparently I started dozing off], they mentioned that there was finally some color coming back into my cheeks and lips. So after they got my blood pressure normalized, they attached a monitor to my arm and left me in there to rest.

Mind you, it was about 11pm when we arrived at the hospital and it was already Wednesday by the time I finally started to actually get some rest.

Anyway, around 8am Wednesday morning, I woke up and talked with my mom for a bit before a nurse came in. She was coming in to check on me and change the pads under me, because of all the bleeding I’d been doing. And as she lifted the blankets to check on the situation, she told me that we’d change the pads later, because the baby was halfway out.

At that point, everything started to move quickly again. Nurses and the doctor rushing back in and moving things around, shifting the blanket aside so they could see and telling me to push. One nurse grabbed a stethoscope and put it up to the baby, and that’s when I learned that she hadn’t made it. And I just...

I cried, but I also just nodded and didn’t say anything. I had known from the moment I found out that I was pregnant, that the baby wouldn’t survive. You see, my family has a long history of miscarriages and early births. My mom and her siblings were all born early, and my grandma had two miscarriages before my uncle Sam was born. My aunt never brought a baby home from the hospital because they were all born early and needed to be five pounds before she could take them home. My sister was born two weeks early, and my mom had two miscarriages between my sister and I. I was almost miscarried, because my mom started bleeding around four months, but we both managed to pull through, though I was still a month early. So.. I knew all of this, and wasn’t exactly surprised to learn that my little one didn’t make it.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt though, even as cold as it sounds. I just.. I was trying to save myself from getting excited and keep my heart from getting shattered to pieces because I had all of this stuff for a baby I never got to bring home with me. So I cried, but I did my absolute damn best to stay calm through everything.

They cleaned her up, and asked me if I wanted to hold her for a while. I said no at first, so they put her in a crib and left the room for a bit. I just.. It’s not that I didn’t want to hold her immediately, I wanted to adjust to the idea that she was real and I wouldn’t be taking her home. And when the nurses came back in, I asked if I could hold her.

And my god guys, she was so tiny and perfect. I just... I wish she’d had more f a fighting chance.

I cried as I held her, and mom came over to see her. There wasn’t a lot of talk at that point, just us crying as we stared at her. And I remember thinking the whole time, I’m sorry baby girl. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

At some point, I gave her back to the nurses and they took her into another room and dressed her up and took some pictures. Mom went outside for some air, the sheets and pads under me got changed and so did my hospital gown. And I got told that I need to make a decision about what I wanted to do with my little one’s remains before I left the hospital. And I started crying all over again.

When mom came back in, she brought my sister and one of my cousins with her, and they were both already crying. Mom had stopped crying, and was actually kind of okay. And I, without even thinking, told them about the decision I had to make before I left. And everyone started crying again if they weren’t already. And I felt absolutely terrible, because I hadn’t meant to make my mom cry again, but I also just.. I didn’t know what to do. I mean, how do you react when someone tells you that you need to make a decision about what to do with your baby’s remains hardly an hour after they’re gone? I just. I couldn’t.

And not to drag this story out for two much longer, the day went on with people coming in and out and all of us doing our best just to get through the day. My aunt came and joined us at one point, and we all cried and talked some more. Eventually, we got the situation of what to do with my daughter’s remains figured out and my cousin took on the responsibility of calling them and setting everything up, for which I am very thankful for, because I couldn’t do it.

In all, I was there until about 4/5pm, waiting to find out if they were going to keep me overnight for observation [because of how much I’d bled] or what exactly was going to happen. Finally, I was discharged and allowed to go home, taking with me a few keepsakes. In a box, they had given me the dress they had dressed her in, the pictures they’d taken of her, and a necklace with her name and DOB on it.

So, my update is that I had a baby on Feb 21, 2018. A beautiful little girl that was 1lb 6oz and 12in long, who would have been just the absolute sweetest thing in the world had she lived. Her name is Alina Bear Cooper-Morrell.

And I’m not sure if this makes the whole situation better or worse, but I remembered that today, Feb 23, 2018 is the anniversary of my grandpa’s death. So at least my sweet baby girl isn’t up there alone. At least she got to meet one of the most important men in my life.

Take care of my baby for me, Grandpa. I love you both so much and I miss you.

#tw; miscarriage #tw; blood #life update

[5sos-kingsandqueens]

The Dealer~Chapter7~Calum Hood

THE DEALER

CHAPTER 7

CALUM P.O.V  Jayde is 12 weeks pregnant. Beginning of October

Leaving Ashton was going to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. We had been living together ever since we graduated high school. I had most of my stuff packed and ready to move into Jayde's car.

"Jayde's here." Ashton commented as she came into my room smiling.

"It's moving day!" She clapped. "I'm excited. And Ashton! There's an apartment near us that's for rent if you wanna check it out. It's closer to your job."

"How much is it though? I was kinda looking for something small, one bedroom." He answered as I boxed the last few things I needed.

"Oh, I'm not sure but I can check it out!" She smiled.

"Thanks." He answered with a little smile. "How's baby doing?"

"Good. Really good. Don't have another appointment for a few more weeks. Hoping to hear the heartbeat next time we go." It was still so strange to me that there was life growing inside of her body that I put there. I got her pregnant. It was wild.

"I know nothing about babies."

"Neither does Calum."

"Hey! I read a baby book." She smiled and followed me out to the living room where Ashton was going to help me bring the boxes down to her car since she couldn't lift anything. "You're sure you're gonna be okay man?" I questioned and he nodded.

"This is just something you have to do." He shrugged. If I had a choice on what to do I would stay here with Ashton but eventually Ashton would want to move in with someone and get married and have kids and I would be left on the street. Jayde getting pregnant would be good for me. I would finally take some responsibility for myself. It would easier to live with her once the baby came anyway.

"I'll always be here for you." I reminded him. "Fridays are still for the bros." I smiled and he hugged me. "Saturdays are for my baby."

"Which I hope is a boy by the way."

"No. We want a girl." Jayde commented as she looked through the fridge. Lately her cravings had been crazy and the other day I saw her putting peanut butter on pickles. "Let's go out to eat."

"It's 10 in the morning." Ashton commented.

"Ashton, honey, you've clearly never been to IHOP." She commented. "So?"

"Seriously? Right now?" I questioned.

"Yes right now. I'm hungry!" She whined.

"Why don't I cook for you then?" I questioned. I really didn't want to go out to eat. I was not in the mood and I didn't have any money. I always felt so bad when we went out to eat now she always had to pay since I literally had 4 dollars. "Pancakes?" I questioned and she nodded.

"You're the best." She smiled and I smiled back at her.

"And you're cute." I commented as I got everything I needed. "Ash? Want some?" I asked.

"Sure." They both sat down at the table while I cooked.

"Hey! My parents are having a dinner party next weekend, you should come!" Jayde commented to Ashton. "I'm assuming Calum is going."

"What? Why didn't you tell me about that?" I asked turning to look at her and she shrugged making me sigh. "Is this like black tie?"

"Yeah." She commented. "You'll look amazing." She smiled. I made breakfast for all of us and we all ate in silence before finally carrying my things down to her car.

"When are you gonna get a belly?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. I so badly wanted to touch her stomach and feel our baby kick. "I'm 12 weeks so maybe any day now. I'm not sure. It takes time." She helped organize everything into her car before I got in and we drove back to her place.

I carried as much as I could inside but it would be hard to get the dresser up the stairs by myself. She was giving me the hall closet for my clothes and she made room for my dresser right next to hers.

"We look like a married couple." She giggled which of course, freaking me out.

*JAYDE P.O.V* 13 WEEKS PREGNANT

Getting to my family's party was nerve wracking. I had no idea if my family knew that I was even pregnant. I'm sure my grandparents would have something to say. I wasn't a child, I knew better than to be sleeping around. I knew that I should have been protecting myself.

"I don't wanna do this." Calum said before we even got to the door. Ashton was carrying the wine that we were bringing and he was walking ahead of us.

"Calum, it's going to be fine. I promise." I answered grabbing his hand. "I don't have to tell anyone that you're the father if you don't want me to. I'll say that he's not involved."

"No. It's not that. I just don't want anyone to think that we're terrible people."

"We're doing the best we can in this situation. It's going to be fine." I answered going to the door with his hand in mine and Ashton on my other side. I made sure they were both good before I walked inside and was right away greeted with classical music and a serving handing out champagne which I politely declined but both Ashton and Calum took a glass.

"Jayde!" My mom called coming over and hugging me and then both the boys. "How are you, Ashton? I haven't seen you in forever!" She smiled thanking him when he handed her the wine bottle.

"Been super busy with work lately." He smiled before we finally stepped away from her and found the food table where no one was. I stayed as close as possible to both of them until Ashton broke off to mingle with people. Ashton was never afraid to talk to anyone and he was friends with some of my cousins from college.

At some point I had to leave Calum to go the bathroom and when I came back he was talking with my grandfather and he had a hand holding Calum's shoulder. I quickly walked over to them and wrapped my arms around Calum.

"Hello, Jayde."

"Hi, Grandpa." I smiled. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh just how this one knocked up my granddaughter." My eyes widened.

"It's not like that." I hated when people said that he knocked me up. Emily had said the same thing and it truly broke my heart that she wasn't responding to my calls or my texts. She hasn't talked to me since she found out I was pregnant and I had no idea why.

"I know it's not like that. Just like to mess with you. I think it's great." He smiled. "Even if no one else does. It's a baby. How can you be mad at a baby?" He smiled. "Very excited about my first great grandchild."

"We're excited too. A little freaked out but excited." Calum answered smiling at me. I felt like Calum was holding his breath the entire conversation and when my grandfather left he let out a sigh of relief and chugged the rest of his whiskey. "How long do we have to stay?"

"Whenever." I shrugged. "Just ask Ashton." Calum raced through the house trying to find Ashton while I walked around saying bye to everyone and answering any questions they had about my pregnancy. I met the guys by the door before leaving.

Ashton had me drop him off at some girls house that was close to my parents and then I drove back to our apartment. Calum went to the bathroom while I searched for lingerie to put on for him and sat on the bed waiting.

"Wow." He smirked coming over to me and kissing me. I reached for his pants yanking them down as fast as I could and pumping him in my hand to get him hard. "Suck it." He groaned being impatient as he usually is. I smirked taking him in my mouth for a few minutes before he got bored of that and pulled back helping me stand to my feet. "Turn around." He slapped my butt as I did before grabbing it and pulling me into him. "Bend over."

I laid half on the bed with my feet touching the floor and my butt exposed to him that he slapped a few more times before pulling my thong down. He fingered me with two fingers before pulling away to get completely undressed.

"God you're sexy like that." I giggled and felt his hand come down on my cheek again. He grabbed me by the hips to position me to me and thrusted into me making me moan and grab a pillow to bite into. I moaned gripping the sheet as he got me closer to my orgasm.

"Faster." I moaned before he finally hit my g-spot pushing me over the edge and making me clench around him. "Oh fuck, Cal." He pulled out and jacked himself off onto my back. He kissed my shoulder a few times before going to get a towel and left me trying to catch my breathe on the bed. "You're amazing." I whispered as he wiped his cum off my butt.

"Yeah?" He asked and I nodded giggling before climbing into bed. "Always know how to please a women."

#calum hood #calum imagine #calum edit #calum au #calum fanfiction #calum fanfic #5sos #5sos fam #5sos blog #5sos edit #5sos au #5sos fanfic #5sos fanfiction #the dealer #chapter 7

[zarinthelwrites]

Ancient and Most Noble

I wrote like 3k of a HP self insert then realized that i’d need to rewrite the whole thing due to leaving out important plot points. If I get encouragement I’ll write more? Probably. 

Killian’s first memory is of screams, terrible screams that turn to hoarse murmurs while a woman laughs and laughs and laughs. Well. Not quite. Killian’s first memories are of another world, a world where there is no Cruciatus Curse, a world where she has four grandparents and two parents and so very many cousins who she could play with.

So, not very much like this one at all.

But in this world she has a brother. Killian’s never had one of those, before. She still does wonder, sometimes. If having a brother is enough of a reason to stay in this world full of shadows, to live through the screams every night. They echo in her dreams. Killian used to love to sleep.

Having a brother isn’t enough of a reason, not really. She had siblings, before. She’s even had a twin before! And Killian has never been very good at turning her motivation towards other people.

So if not for her brother, why is she here? Food? House elf cooked meals? A library full of books? Chocolate frogs?

In the end, it’s childish fancy that always pulls her through, time and time again. Killian will put up with ten years of nightmares, will cry into a pillow every night, if only she can go and see Hogwarts. She wants to see Diagon Alley, and Knockturn Alley, she wants to see Sirius Black’s flying motorcycle and a dragon sanctuary and......and on and on. The magic... the magic doesn't matter. She wants to see a world built out of paragraphs and mad dreams. She wants to watch impossible things from her breakfast table.

There is a very small knock on her bedroom door. She would have missed it entirely, if he didn’t knock at the exact same time every night.

“Come in, Nev,” she said. “The door’s not locked.” If you’re not safe in your own home, you’re not safe anywhere.

The door creaked open, and she flinched anyways.

“Keeley...” Nev whispered. He looked so short in the doorway, so small in his tailored pajamas. If the only male heir of the Longbottom line wasn’t dressed properly, then what did it say about their Family? Nothing good, nothing good. Killian could hear Callidora’s smirking portrait clucking to herself from all the way down the hall. He was only six years old, Killian thought suddenly. She had never been any good at keeping track of time.

Killian realized he was still standing in the doorway and hastily gestured for him to come in and shut the door behind him. Grandmother Augusta didn’t approve of sharing a bed when there were so many empty rooms in the house.

Grandmother Augusta had not taken the death of her only son very well.

Killian helped Neville up beside her, letting him hug her for as long as she could stand it. She never really liked touching other people. It made her tense, it made her stiff. She hugged him back anyway. It was the least she could do, she thought. Maybe it was the best she could do.

“Keeley...” Neville whispered again. “Keeley, do you remember what Grandpa Jeph said?”

“Don’t put a spider in a woman’s purse and then laugh when she screams?” Killian didn’t want to talk about what Grandpa Jeptha had said.

Neville shuddered, but pressed on. “No, Keeley. What he said about...what he said about mummy and...and...” His shoulders were shaking now, practically vibrating with the effort of forcing out the words. “They’ll never remember us,” he whispered into her neck. He choked his sobs into silence, a slight high pitched whine escaping as he tried to gasp for breath.

It hurt, but Killian had always known that her existence would likely do nothing to bring Alice and Frank out of their madness. They had already loved Neville with everything they had. If love couldn’t do it, then nothing but death would free them, as Grandpa Jeptha had so kindly pointed out.

Grandmother took Killian and Neville to visit the spellward every week. She no longer brought Grandpa Jeptha with her.

“They sacrificed themselves for you,” Grandmother Augusta would say, when Neville or Killian were late to clean themselves up for the hospital visit, whenever Neville missed a step and tumbled down the stairs, bruising himself and messing up his robes. “Be grateful. Be proud.”

Alice had begun to collect wrappers. The nurses said it was a positive sign.

“It’ll be okay,” said Killian, which was a lie. “We’ll get through this.” A partial lie. Neville would get through this, of course. At his core, Neville was steel. Killian was just a girl with nightmares and executive dysfunction. She would try, but.

She wanted to watch Hogwart’s staircases move.

The comments about Neville’s weight were getting worse. Killian ate more than Neville, and she ate sugar and fat for most of her meals. She still looked fine.

“Just like her mother,” said Great Aunt Enid.

“The boys wont know what hit them,” said Great Uncle Algie.

Neville stopped wearing tailored clothing.

Great Uncle Algie told the story about the time when he dropped toddler Neville from the third story window, and watched his head bounce off the cobblestones below. He told it every Christmas, so many times that it was more like a memory than a story by now. Killian could almost picture it, him letting go of a squib to grap at a lemon meringue. He laughed when he told it. “The boy’s not a squib afterall!” Laughter from Grandpa Jeptha. Pursed lips from Grandmother Augusta. Neville would stare at the floor.

The next Christmas, Great Uncle Algie had a new story to tell.

Killian and Neville had been down by the Blackpool pier, watching the waves. Neville had dug up a book about the type of plants that only grew in briny waters soaked by the new moon, Spirit Thimbleweed, Life’s Cress, Silent Sage... he could talk for hours about plants.

It had been a beautiful morning, fog touching the tips of the trees and dew drops scattering the light across the water. The pixies were dancing across the water, laughing and giggling to themselves and they played a fatal game of tag with the jumping carp.

The book had been completely ruined, when Great Uncle Algie came up behind Neville and pushed him into the dark water. He held him down, wrinkled face splitting into his storytelling grin. “What’s the matter, squib?” He asked. “Any son deserving of Frank’s legacy should be able to get himself out of this.”

Neville sputtered up water, face red and eyes wet from more than just the lake water.

“What’s that, squib? I can’t hear you.”

Neville wheezed, legs flailing. “W-w-watchhh....out..”

Killian kicked her Great Uncle Algie into the lake. He was old, and he was already more than halfway into the water. It wasn’t a great feat by any means.

“What’s the matter, Uncle?” Killian asked. “Any wizard deserving of the Longbottom name should be able to get himself out of this.” She sounded like the pictures on the walls-- Absentminded and cold, capturing the face without the spirit.

Neville pulled himself out of the lake and stood up on the pier, ruined book still clutched to his chest. No wonder he had been drowning, if he hadn’t let go of the book the entire time.

What would she have done if he had drowned?

“We need to help him,” said Neville. “We’ve stirred up the Serpent Stammerwort that grows at the bottom of the lake. He won’t be able to get out on his own.”

And he didn’t think he’d be placed in Gryffindor. Honestly.

Killian looked at the robes she was wearing, shrugged, and jumped in, quickly swimming over to where her Great Uncle had trapped himself with this confused arm swinging.

“Stop moving,” said Killian. Her voice hadn’t changed at all from when she’d kicked him in. “Look to your left. No, your other left. Yes, the left with Neville. Take his hand, he’s stronger than he looks. Yes, they’re letting you go and focusing on me now. Take his hand and let him help you out. There you go, now you’re up.” The weeds bit at her feet, and she bit her lip in turn. He had gotten them revved up, and now she took his place.

Great Uncle Algie watched from the shore, preventing Neville from helping her out of the lake.

Killian stomped down hard as she made her way out, feet leaving bloody trails behind her. The Serpent Stammerwort seethed behind her. A Lord had not visited for six years, now. The lake was waiting impatiently.

Frank Longbottom would never return to walk the land.

“Maybe the line won't end after all,” says Great Uncle Algie. He is still watching her, thoughtful.

“Neville’s book is ruined,” says Killian.

“It’s fine,” says Neville. “It’s...It’s just a book.”

There is no such thing as just a book.

Great Uncle Algie stops telling stories about mistaking his own Great Nephew for a squib. He has other stories, stories about foreign lands teeming with strange plants and wildlife and foreign wizards with their substandard spells.

He had served against Grindelwald, had chased him all over the world. Except he didn’t call him Grindelwald, he called him Dumbledore’s Folly, and shook his head in disgust.

Grandpa Jeptha also has stories about the height of Grindelwald’s power, great spells powered from the weight of despair, a patronus so powerful that it lasted past the owner's death, dragged their entire squad through a cursed forest just to dig an unmarked grave for its young master.

Great Aunt Enid served too, and she has a single picture of a room piled high with wands, neatly stacked in rows. She does not speak of it.

At first Grandpa Jeptha coughs, and then a week later he coughs up blood. It happens sometimes, especially to Families as pure as the Longbottoms. They call it Cruor Aqua, and it is a mark of pride. The blood called to the water, and the water called back.

The family Witnesses Grandpa Jeptha’s death. Blood to water, river to earth. Blessings on ash, blessings on birch.

The Longbottoms escort Grandpa Jeptha’s ashes from one side of their valley to the other. The urn floats above the river, suspended by the weight of thousands of years. Grandmother Augusta is singing, strange and piercing. Her words echo in the wrong places. Neville carries a plant, and whispers to it. It is a saltwater plant, Killian notices. He was careful to pick a plant that would benefit from his tears.

Great Uncle Algie and Great Aunt Enid are both silent in their grief.

Killian keeps walking. The river is pulsing to the beat of her headache. All of her tears are for herself in the dark, how can she have any to spare for a man like Grandpa Jeptha?

That night, there is a very small knock on her bedroom door.

“Come in, Nev,” says Killian. “The door’s not locked.” She’d been in the middle of trying to brush out her hair, the same dirty blonde that Alice’s used to be before the Cruciatus turned her hair white. It was long now, almost to her waist.

The door creaked open, and she flinched.

“Keeley...” said Neville. He was nine years old, and wore lumpy pajamas that had seen better days. The last male heir, in such a state. It was a good thing that Grandmother Augusta had been burning pureblood event notices for years. Callidora found watching the bonfire to be soothing for her delicate nerves.

He went and sat down next to her.

“Can I hug you?”

Killian nodded.

Neville wasn’t very good at hugging, probably because he had no one to practice on and little experience with it himself. Her fault, that. She collapsed against him anyway, tripping over her own tongue to try to get the words out.

“I didn’t even like him, he was always going on about how our father was betraying his duty by being crazy, he’s rude to Somney, he says terrible things to you that aren’t true, he once told me that he’d need to arrange a marriage for me because blood was the only thing going for me--” Killian cut herself off, breath hitching in her throat. “Every year he’d give me a piece of jewelry from a different part of the world, and tell me about the most beautiful thing he’d seen there.” They were her most prized possessions.

The first one had been a butterfly pin, made of silver filigree and citrine. It flapped its wings when placed in her hair, and sometimes flew around the room when it wasn’t perched in her jewelry box.

Last year Grandmother Augusta had given her all of Alice’s jewelry, packed away in a carved onyx trunk. She still hadn’t opened it.

Killian was getting her tears and snot all over Neville’s pajama top. How embarrassing.

“He used to sneak me chocolate frogs,” said Neville suddenly. “He said that... dad used to collect the cards.”

He was crying too, Killian realized. She hadn’t noticed.

Neville continued. “Grandmother said that... if I don’t become Lord, then the Longbottom family will end. I don’t understand, Keeley. You’re here, aren’t you? Keeley, are you going to go away?” His voice cracked at the end of the sentence. “Keeley, please don’t go.”

Killian’s breath stuttered in her lungs.

“Nev,” she said, raising her eyes to meet his. They were a muddy blue grey, the same as her own. “Nev. I’m not very good at keeping promises, you know. Remember that time when you asked me to keep an eye on your stuff and then I forgot and wandered off into a bookstore?” Neville had never been able to find his lost belongings.

“You remember promises,” said Neville. “You just do things anyway.”

“You know me too well, little brother,” said Killian, trying to make the words closer to a joke and less a gaping wound.

“Keeley...” said Neville. He hugged her closer for a second, then let go as she tensed up. “I’m only six minutes younger than you,” he sighed.

Killian reached over to her bedside table and pulled out a book titled Herb Gathering in the Foglight Forest, an Accounting of Grave and Treacherous Encounters. She liked stories about adventures, and Neville liked plants, so it was worth spending days looking for another copy after its previous dip in the Blackpool. They spent the rest of the night pouring over its pages, and saying nothing of anything as they traced their finger over beautifully sketched flowers and faded ink.

“I love you, you know,” Killian said at the end of the night. Killian was not a very communicative person, and couldn’t remember ever telling him before. Couldn’t remember anyone telling him that before, actually. So it was important.

The next year, Grandmother Augusta deemed it time for the twins to learn how to dance. It was strange, really. Grandmother Augusta never seemed to mind what Killian and Neville did, most of the time. Or perhaps that was her social blinders, hard at work like always. She could ask Neville, if Grandmother Augusta minded after all. Killian shook her head. She didn’t want to know. She instead focused on what they were not stopped from doing. They could visit any of the Longbottom properties-- at least, the few that Frank did not have to give access to-- they could read any book in the library that they could reach, they could take care of the gardens that covered acres, full of strange plants that grew wild. Somney was a traditional house elf, and did not tend the grounds.

It was quite a lot, when listed out like that. Or not much at all, from the perspective of learning how to talk to people their own age.

How old was she, really?

Killian had known how to waltz, before. She had learned in four inch heels and a dress that swept the floor, and she had loved it like she loved books, which is to say, quite a lot. She smiled when she danced, so wide and bright that Grandmother Augusta dropped her wand in shock, and Neville fainted and had to be revived.

Neville was not quite so graceful on his first attempt, nor on his twentieth.

The Genealogy lectures had always been there, but they grew more frequent, and more intense. Neville, who had issues with rote memorization, and Killian, who was both face blind and unable to do rote memorization, did the best that they could, which was terrible indeed.

They were ten years old, and neither of the twins had shown any overt signs of magic. Grandmother Augusta did not take this well. She would set of loud noises, in hopes that magic would flare in startlement. She turned Neville’s favorite plant into a spider. For a week, all the books in the library were bound shut.

She did an excellent job of triggering Killian and Neville’s latent PTSD, if not their magic.

#harry potter #My writing #self insert #I actually really enjoy making up harry potter lore so ill probably get up the effort to write more

[blaperile]

Hiveswap Episode 1 Reaction Part 8: Descending the stairs in Joey’s house!

Whoops, yesterday and the day before we returned home pretty late, so we didn't get to continue playing Hiveswap. Let's make up for that today! We were just going to enter the second part of the hallway, to finish up the remaining item combinations, and then we'll be continuing downstairs probably, exciting! Starting at 6:10 PM now.

Pet treats && Lamp/Cabinet ==> Pffff, I actually hadn't realized yet how there are so many things with mouths around here: dolls, paintings, stickers, pictures... even the Lord English castle has a mouth! xD Pogs && Box ==> That would indeed be pretty silly. On the other hand, I'm surprised Joey doesn't think of it as a serious idea considering how much she hates those pogs. :mspa: Oh man, haha, plainWonder's right, sneaky "tombs" and "crypts" reference right there. I would have totally missed that, haha. Ballet slippers && Box ==> Huh, "extra pair"? Where's her main pair then? Is it at the ballet school itself, perhaps? That would make sense. Also, I always love it when Homestuck/Hiveswap decides to go down the route of discussing metaphors literally. :P Pogs && Lite Brite ==> Ahahaha, yes that does sound really similar to each other. Thank goodness Lord English doesn't have a pog leg. :mspa: Pogs && Jude's door ==> Pffff, it would be amazing if that's the ending to Hiveswap: Joey gets a heartful reunion and then Jude is suddenly like: "What did you do to my pogs?!" xD Pet treats && Jude's door ==> Well, at least that confirms Jude's pet would EAT those things. That means it's at least a SOMEWHAT normal pet. :P Oh boy, now it's time to move on! Now we should be right at the top of the stairs. I wonder if the stairs themselves will also be part of what's loading now or it if it will load separately? Also, I'm really curious to see all those pictures above the stairs!!! We've seen plenty of them in concept art before, but it'll be really cool to see them up close in the game now, and see what Joey has to say about them! Plus, I also just realized we haven't seen any pictures of Grandpa so far, only Joey's drawing of him and the paper figure. Meanwhile, we HAVE seen pictures of Joey herself, Jude, Tesseract, Ms. Claire, and the babysitter already. I wonder if Jude's got some pictures of Grandpa in his own room? That's probably something we'll only discover in Hauntswitch. .... Oooooooooooooh! :O Gosh just look at all those things. Let's start on the right: looks like a picture frame was broken there! Probably by the monster when it was chasing Joey to her room. I wonder if we can pick it up and look at it and/or put it in our inventory? I wonder what's on the picture... Or maybe it was just a little mirror? We can't immediately see any picture lying there and just some glass shards. What are all those small colourful things on that desk? They kinda look like mini-Scalemates to me and/or like those Pokémon substitute dolls. xD There's also a paper with some colours on it on the desk... I was wondering what that is, but plainWonder's probably right that it's one of those games (I have no idea what it's actually called) where you can like put your hand in and show little pieces of the paper one at the time (okay I'm explaining this terribly you probably all know what it is anyway xD). And then... THE PICTURES!!!! First of all, the Ms. Claire picture! Looks like it was a gift to Grandpa (who has now officially been confirmed as being named Jake in B1, not that there should have been any doubt about it)!! "To my biggest fan" or something? To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he never actually came for the dancing (I mean, we haven't really seen any hints yet that Grandpa/Jake likes dancing/dancers), but just because he thought Ms. Claire was beautiful. And plainWonder made a very good remark, we can see the initial of Ms. Claire's first name, It's A!!!! He does have a good point that it sounds familiar and that we've probably seen it in concept art before. And I believe he's right that when we first learned that I theorized her first name would be Anna! To fit in with people's theories that Nanna's real name would be Anna (before we met Jane) and the meta poke at it in Pony Pals! Anna Claire does sound really nice, and it would fit nicely with the 4-6 letter patterns in the first names and last names of all members of the human Prospit Dreamer family, and even Joey and Jude follow that pattern (yeah, I think it makes a lot of sense that they would be Prospit Dreamers :) ). After that, there's some really adorable pictures of Joey, Jude and Tesseract, n'awwww. Including some pictures of Joey and Jude as babies right near the picture of Ms. Claire at the top! And then, the pictures to the left are the ones I'm REALLY excited about, and which we've sadly also already seen in concept art before. First of all, the picture of Nanna, Grandpa and Halley! I'm just really glad that Grandpa didn't entirely forget about Nanna and carried her around with him, in a certain way. Also, looks like there's also a picture there of just Grandpa and Halley, possibly taken after they'd ventured off alone. Then, the wedding picture of Grandpa and Ms. Claire!!! We've also seen that before, but something that just occurred to me is that Grandpa appears with EYES there! That's a first. Which is also making me realize... Ms. Claire is always depicted with eyes as well! So in that regard it seems like adults are being drawn differently in Hiveswap than they were drawn during Homestuck, that's pretty interesting to see! Heh, I also just realized that if you think away Ms. Claire's eyes she'd kind of look like Mom! And her eyes do look somewhat similar to Rose and Roxy's. Next up is the picture of the babysitter with Joey and Jude! I don't really have anything new to say about that, other than I just noticed she's also wearing her cat symbol on there! Nice. :D And finally... the picture of Grandpa and the deer. Oh deer god (sorry), Dammek's probably going to get pretty angry about that when he sees it, considering his relationship to deers. Actually, I imagine there'll be plenty of Grandpa's exploits that he wouldn't approve of. Alright, that's all I've got to say for now. Let's see what we can examine closer here! ...Welp, okay, we can't examine anything at the top of the stairs. Let's just assume that frame was attached to a little mirror or something and didn't have a picture. Pffff, Joey's "mostly-great" family. Yeah, I wonder what she'll have to say about Grandpa when we examine his pictures. :/ Ooooh, so now we can see them from a bit closer and examine each of them individually! Hell yes. Uh... that picture of Baby Joey up there. Is that... her on top of a cat? That reminds me of the picture of Tesseract with a cat on Joey's door. I wonder if one of them (or both) are cats of Mom and possibly related to Jaspers/Mutie? I wonder if Joey will mention something about it when we examine the picture! plainWonder has a good point that perhaps Ms. Claire had cats herself too? Also, d'awww, in that one picture of Joey and Tesseract she's actually being licked by her dog, n'aww. And look at all those toys in the picture of Joey and Jude with their babysitter. I imagine they'll have had a lot of fun times together! Is... is that a Loch Ness-like monster toy in the foregound? xD I really like how you can tell the difference between the older and the new pictures, by the way. Not just by the picture itself which of course doesn't have as much colour gradations, but also the frames! Those frames of the older pictures look much more decorated and gold than the new ones, which seem like more modern and normal picture frames. That's a nice detail. Alright, let's start examining the pictures closer, I'm really curious what Joey's going to say about them! Pfffffffff, "GLAMNIFIQUE" :D That entire little piece of narration as she examines Ms. Claire's picture is brilliant. Sadly, no comment about the message/name on it though. Good dog, best friend! D'aww. Also, I just realized that Tessseract's tongue looks a bit greenish in that picture, hehe. I also think it's pretty funny how Tesseract's eyes are not on the picture, making it almost seem like he doesn't have any, just like Bec. :P D'aww, so Joey wanted to make a picture of Ms. Claire, Jude and herself together. Yeah, it doesn't look like there's any pictures featuring Jude and Ms. Claire together. I still wonder what the deal with that is, but I really wouldn't be surprised if he was only born after her death, considering Ms. Claire died when Joey was still a baby. I mean, I find it highly unlikely that Jude's actually a meteor baby and crushed Ms. Claire upon landing, but I guess we just don't know! Oooooh, so those pictures of Joey and Jude are school portraits! Makes sense, especially considering how Jude seems to be having a hard time putting up a proper smile. :P And actually, I like how Joey's smile also looks faked, when you compare it to the more natural picture of her together with her babysitter and Jude, where she's with a more natural smile! I wish they did backgrounds for school portraits at our school too. :mspa: And yeah, I also didn't have a clue what diptych meant until we just looked it up, haha. So apparently that's literally just the name for a combination of two pictures like this. Welp, Grandpa never told Joey anything about Nanna. Looks like he kept that to himself. :( I wonder if he ever told about Nanna to Ms. Claire? Also, hehe, yes Nanna was sort of Grandpa's "sister" and at the same time she wasn't. Joey, be glad you don't know how the actual story is behind that. :P Pffff, Joey thinks Nanna might have died young. I love how it's basically the opposite of that, with Nanna having lived a long life until John landed, and even then after 13 years she came back to life (sort of) and after the end of Homestuck she's still alive and kicking (x2 combo!). Oh Joey, if you only knew. Also, plainWonder has a good point about how Joey doesn't have a second cousin YET, considering how John has yet to land on Earth, haha. It's pretty sad that Grandpa and Nanna didn't stay in touch. Otherwise after Ms. Claire's death perhaps Grandpa would have left them with Nanna and they could have grown up together with Dad! That would have been an interesting alternate timeline to see, one where John grows up with not just a dad but also an aunt and an uncle! Well, it's good that Joey realizes the bad sides about Mom, that while she's trying very hard she's definitely not flawless. Also GODDAMMIT, Joey's in the dark about how Mom grew up just like us. xD I mean... I guess we do know a little bit more than she does, what with the room inside the Skaianet lab and all, but there's still quite some unanswered questions about all that. Guess that's something we either won't ever know, or will only find out some other day. :P ...Eesh. plainWonder just came up with the theory that perhaps Grandpa found her after her meteor landed and observed her in the Skaianet lab, as she grew up there. That's... kind of a bit dark to think about. Let's move on! ....OH MY GOD. THE REACTION TO OBSERVING THE WEDDING PICTURE IS SIMPLY THE BEST. Sadly, he was indeed born with those spectacles on, ahahahahaha! xD That's an amazing meta joke. (Also, let's all be glad he wasn't born with the moustache instead) I also just realized how you can see the bridge between Jude's glasses, while there's no such thing for Grandpa! Another indication how it's glasses that cannot be removed? :mspa: Huh... that reaction to examining the Grandpa/Halley picture is quite fascinating! I actually hadn't realized yet how Grandpa made such an immense 180°-turnaround on animals. He seemed to care a lot about Halley, but then he became a hunter! Did something indeed happen that made him change his mind, like Joey seems to be suggesting here? That's something I've never thought about before, but I have no freaking clue what could have possibly caused it. Especially not something Halley could have done...? ...Eesh. That reaction to the Grandpa/deer picture is pretty cold. Yeah, it looks like Joey and Grandpa were very different from each other. I like how there's a sneaky stab at how Grandpa is normally never depicted with eyes and thus didn't [i]look[/i] at her, but still. That's pretty sad to hear. I would love to hear Grandpa's side of the story sometime. We know what Nanna thought of him, we know what Jade thinks of him, and we know what Joey thinks of him, but how does he look at all those things? I'd love to hear his own thoughts about why he left Nanna, why he left Joey and Jude, why he is the way that he is... I guess... maybe the answer actually lies with Jake? We know that Jake learned that he prefers being alone, so maybe Grandpa also never saw himself as being really capable of raising Joey and Jude and that's why he simply avoids everyone? Pfff, so if we try using any of our items on these portraits we simply get the same prompt and examine the pictures anyway, haha. Alright, looks like we're done here! Let's see if there's anything more in this room before a new one gets loaded. Kind of weird those purple smears on the right side... GAMZEEEEEEEEEEEE *shakes fist* :mspa: Alright, at the bottom of the stairs a new room gets loaded! Looks like there's a window here, and to the right downstairs there seems to be a picture! So there's probably more stairs here to go further down, I imagine there won't be anything else here other than the window? ... A STATUE!!!!! :O Oh god that looks A LOT like a Denizen statue! And plainWonder's right, it's probably meant to look like Abraxas! Seeing as it appears to have feathers AND of course that is supposed to be Jake's Denizen, so it makes sense that there'd be a reference to that Denizen (I mean, I guess Typheus would also have been possible, seeing as Grandpa DOES have a Typheus Minion :P). Haha, that's a really cool way to get Denizens into this, I wonder if we can examine the statue and see Joey's reaction to it. Also, I wonder if we can look outside the window? Pfff, "what is this guy so happy about anyway?" That reminds me of John's reactions to some of the pictures in his house. But uh, Joey does raise a pretty good point. Grandpa must have gotten it from SOMEWHERE, so where did he get it from? Did he already visit the B1 session at this point and was that statue somewhere over there? Was it somewhere in the Frog Temple? As a matter of fact, does this mean Grandpa had already visited the Frog Temple prior to moving there together with Jade? Looks like we can't look out the windows here! Pogs && Abraxas statue ==> Ahahaha, I like how it's like Joey's making a sacrifice to please the gods or something. Also, there she goes again with using the word "serpents". :P Pfff, I love how for a second it's like there's something mysterious about the statue and that it actually swallowed the pog or something. But no, that would be quite silly. xD Pet treats && Abraxas statue ==> Joey really doesn't like snakes, does she? :P Cherub Key && Abraxas statue ==> It probably reminds you of snakes because there are Cherub snakes depicted on your key, Joey. :mspa: Also, I guess they are SORT OF related to each other, in the way that both of these things have a mysterious connection to Sburb, and we have no clue where either of these things come from and how they got here in the first place. Ballet slippers && Abraxas statue ==> Congratulations Joey, you just succesfully managed to dodge a snake statue. That's one step towards dodging real snakes, right? :mspa: Ooooh, I thought this would be all in this "room", but further up ahead there's a really cool coat of arms of Grandpa's, apparently! I love how there's blunderbusses on it on one hand (interestingly the first time actual firearms are shown in Hiveswap!), and on the other hand also a dog head which seems to be a reference to Bec! :D I mean, obviously it's supposed to reference Halley, but I like how the eyes are depicted so small that it almost looks like they aren't there, just like with Bec. Alright, we're calling it a day here, at 8 PM! Let's examine the coat of arms and move on next time. I'm pretty satisfied with where we got now.

#Homestuck #Hiveswap #reaction #liveblog #Hiveswap liveblog #Joey #Jude #Grandpa #Ms. Claire #Mom #Tesseract #Nannasprite #Halley

[themeparkofdepression-blog]

As a 21 year old often does, I live with a good friend of mine in our ( first 😄🎉) apartment. Box dinners are definitely a thing and we've accepted that's how life goes- for now, until we become rich and famous. (Slowly) I have to say, I never thought I'd smell Red Barron's French style pizza again, but believe me, that's a smell I could never forget. I was fed those often as a kid, and I could never really get away from the vision of my mom holding a, very large, knife to her throat after serving me one while screaming at me, (whilst I was very comfortable on my dad's recliner, watching "Hey Arnold", which side, side note- I often follow this up with a "how rude to interrupt my show!", but people don't take humor very well under these topics- but whatever), "DO YOU WANT YOUR PIZZA CUT?" I was around 6 years old- I am a little girl that wasn't allowed to go outside often, or have visitors, or.. visit. My dad didn't want me to go to church, and I couldn't eat sugar. They allowed me to eat one candy bar on Halloween, and we threw the rest away: THINK OF THE CHOCOLATE, YOU MONSTERS 😢 So 2001 rolls around and they buy me the ps2 the second it drops- That and Girls Gone Wild commercials are my favorite things at this time. I was born in (Place A), of (State A) and then moved to (Place Bumfuck), of (State of Bumfucks) to this lady that looked like the world danced around her (it really just shit on her) and a dude who was so old I think I saw Jesus in his highschool yearbook. Btw, His brother looks like the green river killer, and was born around the same time, living only two states away from each other. They're both creeps- my uncle would physically and verbally hit on my mom, even infront of his own wife- uh, fucked dude. NEXT! A little more about my family: My dad's parents were both born in the 1800s. Late af 1800s, but still. I don't really know much about them, just that my grandma had some possibly genetic heart problem that caused her heart to "explode" (their words) whilst they were doing open heart surgery. His dad had a heart attack, My dad had 4 different heart surgeries. (Exciting, huh?) Other than that, I have his service flag- but no records of his service. He was a strange guy from my observations, but my mom said he was ladies man. He went from broke af and living in a basement to being a college professor and at some point played for a pro baseball team. My mom is from a liter of 22+ children, We shall call my mom's parents Mr. And Mrs. G, very similar to the characters from a really awesome tv show- Shameless.. I hope that's not infringing or anything, it's just very relatable in some cases, Mr. G was a construction worker that moved his family randomly from state to state, he enjoyed drinking heavily, and probably left a slew of children with different women along the way, Mrs. G, well I'm not quite sure what she did, but my mom and her sibilings figured out her mom had a kid on average every 11 months. I never met her, she passed away almost 20 years before I came along, but they tell me she lit up the room. She also enjoyed drinking heavily- infact, she could take down any dude at the bar I've heard lol. My mom and her siblings were mostly on their own, their parents were often passed out or fighting. The cops were over more often than not and Mr. G was very abusive to his wife and the 9 ish kids they kept. There was only one kid he wouldn't hit, the youngest son. His other son was gay and he hated it, and another was in the military. Unfortunately, his squad was blown up infront of him during combat and ultimately he took his own life after dealing with ptsd and violent flashbacks that lead to my mom getting a severe skull fracture when she was younger. My mom had stories of her siblings slicing her with knives, countless stories of breaking her head open, and even more on her drunken father almost killing them. .. and tons of other life experiences I just can't comprehend. When my mom was 14, she had two best friends who were twins. Before a fun holiday, they were planning a class party so my mom was going to head over to their house that day. On the way home, my mom changed her mind and went home instead. By the time she got home, there was a story on the news of two twin girls aged 14 walking into their house after getting off the bus from school and immediately getting shot and killed by their father- who just shot their mom, and then turned gun on himself. My mom had a brother who thought his girlfriend was cheating on him, so when she was in the garage, he beat her with a hammer and killed himself. My mom had a friend who got shot by stray bullets fired at a ceremony they were attending. My mom was the smartest one of the bunch, I think. One sister ate dirt pies all day, and stole my mom's identity when I was young, and then stood on the opposite side of the street as our house and just stared. Unfortunately, the drugs caught up with her, a vein (or something) in her neck burst, even though they controlled it, she still didn't make it. Unfortunately though, she still had a really big heart and I think that got her in trouble. My mom dated a guy when she was 18 who ended up raping her and she had my sister because of it. She and my sister were best friends and my grandma loved to take care of her while my mom was on college (she was the first and only to graduate). My grandma passed away shortly after, leaving my mom to raise her two youngest siblings and my sister, while trying to go to med school- already dirt poor. She quickly gave up on becoming a doctor which she had always dreamed of. She's never said she regrets any of it, she definitely doesn't regret raising her siblings and my sister - but I think she wonders what it would be like. Which honestly saddens me to think my mom didn't live up to her own dreams. I often try to get her to go back to school because she is a gifted, beautiful soul that could do alot, but I think over time all the people that didn't believe in her or controlled or abused her rotted her brain in a sense. That's why life scares me sometimes. My dad didn't allow my mom to talk to her family often, or really do anything of her own. When I was born she stayed at home, she cleaned the house, literally all ducking day I have no idea how she did it, but she'd have on her makeup and her heels and her pencil skirts, and she's just be vacuuming the life out of every nook and cranny she could find. She cooked for us, and it was awesome. She smoked exactly 3 cigarettes a day, and I looked forward to them. Morning, lunch, and night. I think I'll always enjoy the smell of a cigarette in the crisp State A air. (Or really any air, for that matter) She went to the casino sometimes and also came home really drunk. She would force me to dance on her toes with her to "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aquilara, but she'd always try to sing it and her breath was terrible. One night, I disinctly remember her blowing up my air balloons with me, and she kept popping them in my face. It scared me and now they always scare me. My parents got in a argument one time at the top of the stairs, my dad pushed her down and then sat on top of her. She was screaming at me to call 911 but I didn't have the phone. My grandpa got cancer when I was in the 2nd grade, my mom wanted to take me out to see him (i had only met him a once at a casino) but my dad refused and while my mom was out of state visiting him my dad went to the hospital and his brother dropped my off at these strangers house with a trash bag of clothes while he stayed at my house and slept in my bed lol. They fed me too many aprocots and I got sick AF dude, in a Walmart bathroom. I'm telling you, I hate hundreds of these things while we played neopets. Turns out later they got arrested for cooking meth. My dad kicked my mom out for two weeks, she slept in a little old sad Nova with no windows (bc students threw rocks at his car to break them out) Or air conditioning (reminder she also doesn't have a job or money). She took me to a fair with money my dad gave, and there they got in an argument- basically from the fair my mom and I got a ride to the airport, where we flew to the State of Bumfucks, Or SOB for short, without any clothes or any money.. and here I am. I am 7 now, I'm sleeping in an airport, and I had to leave my dog behind. But whatever man. The air is different and by now I've gained atleast 100 pounds. I get laughed at and made fun of every day at my new school, the food tastes like shit so I don't eat until I get home, my mom doesn't have a job so we don't have much food at home, I have headaches everyday, and it kinda is just whatever because in the apartment complex I have tons of friends and we have all the fun in the world together. We have no parental supervision, so we fuck some shit up: our favorite game is GTA bc we love to pick up hookers, have sex with them, and then kill them after so we can get out money back. Also the flying car cheat code. I hung out with the bros and we saw dead stuff and explored. We raced cars and blew up frogs with firecrackers. I had a crush on this boy who always told me I was fat and ugly and constantly picked on me. Years later, he actually retracted that statement and said I was probably the coolest person he knew- and I was hot af. I didn't want to date him after 3rd grade, but that was cool to hear. Dr. Pepper came into my life around this time, and I am thankful, but I gained hella weight, and my mom smoked upwards to 7 packs a day. LITERALLY. Several times the teacher took my back pack and put it outside because it smelled so bad, kids were getting sick from it. OOH yes Ms. teacher, thanks for telling me infront of the whole class. At some point I'll stop telling pointless stories, I just want you to get a sniff of what I'm stepping in, ya dig? I remmeber eating Hot Pockets for Thanksgiving because my dad wouldn't send money to my mom for child support because he didn't want her to spend it. I tried to start a successful car wash with my friends to get some money... We made 5 bucks- but didn't wash a single car. I remember being so mad at my dad once I called him 9 times and told him he was being a douche. I worry that played apart of his decisions later on. After almodt two years, we went back to get some stuff from our old house. We had to sell most of our belongings, I don't have any toys, vcrs, any tapes, just a few of the items we could pick up and take back- and My dog, and our two cats: Rosie, Yang, and Sally (who on the way to SOB, decided to live with another family across the street from my uncle: Cute/weird side story, my uncles partner had died a year before, and visited my uncle in a dream saying, "I'm sorry I left you, but I can't be without you. You will join me soon and we will be together again." A week later he was diagnosed with throat cancer. He was a professional pool player, a pro bowler, the best cook in the world, knew every answer to Jeopardy, had a boa in his house, and helped me build my first and only snowman and showed me how to make snow ice cream. He bottled jack Daniels in coke bottles and glued them back up so he could carry it in with him when he got chemo at the hospital. The cancer was actually treated, but he still passed away in his sleep, I know they're happy together again.) My grandpa died around Christmas, my parents got an offical divorce, and a few days after that- which happened to be a few days before my mom's birthday, there was a message on our answering machine. It was my sister, who we moved here to love close to, but still hadn't seen yet. She called to say, "Its over, it's done. He died last night." My dad had told them he didn't want to suffer anymore, so they "put him to sleep" I heard. That night, was a weird night. I was laying down, with my mom and my dog and we felt tear drops land on us, but neither of us was crying. He had alot of money and still to this day do I find random bits he stashed away for me, as if he knew people would be grabbing at it in every direction. After, we got kicked out of the apartment for having a dog. We found our own cheap little place, and made it our own. At some point, my mom, who was once a drug and alcohol abuse counselor, turned to heavy drinking herself. So at this point I should probably introduce what I'll be talking about, And that is: I'm 21 years old, and I feel like I'm floating through every day, like everything is foggy and dim- I spent my 21 birthday at both jobs and never really celebrated it- even though in a huge milestone type of person. I'm trying to figure out when I became so depressed and alien in my own skin, and what I can do to revise that because I feel like it's taken over parts of my personality and my caged butterfly self is ready to fly.~ And I'm going to start by hashing up what my loved ones have lived through and in turn what I've lived through.. There's a lot of different reasons as to why, mostly, I've just wanted to be heard- just for once. This is my way of standing up to hiding myself because of being put down and ridiculed so often for, honestly, everything I can remember. But I don't want to make this sappy and sad all the time, Feel free to laugh with me as I tell my story, and I hope you share yours as we continue to grow into our butterflies. Honestly it might be awkward and rough, but that's my first for now. :)