#kinda dont get myself rn

[arinmoss]

Hatsune Miku doodle

#basically mt older brother had a laptop he wasn't using anymore and techinically gave it to my mom #but my mom gave it to me since she already has a laptop #anyways the colors are kinda eh but i didn't feel like painting or being colorful rn idk wanted a simple easy thing to get used to having #to use a wacom tablet again -___- #going to try and finish up my one commission left plus maybe draw those requests i got on kofi digitally hehe #tho drawing on this tablet is kinda the worst but i did draw on this for like years but....main did my surface pro spoil me -___- #keep trying to remind myself how one of my fave artists litcherally draws with a MOUSE PAD like i can. i can handle a screenless tablet #even tho i dont want to -______- #art #doodle #miku #hatsune miku #vocaloid #vocaloid fanart #fanart #digital art #sketch #illustration #vocaloid miku #artwork #arin moss #arin moss art

[rabid-invertibrate]

The absolute state of the lack of garmadon content is a travesty of catastrophic consequence

#ninjago #lord garmadon #garmadon #lego ninjago #ninjago garmadon #garmadon ninjago #emperor garmadon #augggghhhhhh how am supposed to satisfy my autism now #10 year old me * gets attached to a fictional character to project myself onto so i can escape abuse at home #8 years later #still unhealthy attachment #tried to relace it with other content but nO #brain demands #remember kids dont beat and strave your kids they may end up unwillingly attached to a lego show #replace* #anyone remember the fandom on here when seasons 8-9 where coming out? #that was the shitt #as in great #the fandom is kinda dying rn i feel

[howlinghound11]

eepy

With and without a filter lol

#ok here it is lol #dan vs #this is the new thing i been on for a few weeks lol #anyway i just liked my sketch so much that i had to color it and make it pretty #sleepy dan and mr mumbles #mr mumbles is just like purrin like an engine rn #also slight headcanons i guess #dan just gives off such strong transmasc vibes that i have to remind myself that its not canon lol #and even tho hes not drawn with scars i just know he'd be covered in them he gets hurt like so much yk #i actually forgot to give him a lip scar which i like to do with characters sometimes #anyway #i was gonna put a kinda blueish filter to make it look more like night but i didn't find one i liked so went with the dark edge one #me #my posts #my arts #dan mandel #dan vs mr mumbles #dan vs revival #i dont remember what else i was gonna say #i mean i could tag something else but #no i shan't #lol

[b4kuch1n]

pre-holiday leave crumbs

#sk8 the infinity #kyan reki #hasegawa langa #renga #hey. if I give u a bottle labeled wine with somethin else inside. would u drink it #anyways. tomorrow I Travel #The Turbulance evened out alright! so the Traveling could no longer be postponed #three days on da road babeyy (<- shaking and crying) #goin to a market! I'll try to get a new kitchen knife there. will be better than whatever the fucks goin on in our kitchen rn #anyways. post-fic haze has settled in once again I am simply no thought. this will continue for hopefully five hours #until I gotta get up for car time #kinda whittling down the 20yo reki design slowly to get to a point where it feels Correct #20yo langa is already perfect. maybe to nobody but me but I stand the fuck by it #I believe in langa looking like a guy lesbians would hit on by accident in his 20s. I hold myself to it #oh yeah if ur asking. no that was not a cigarette in the first pic. sorry Im a tightass about smoking thats a lollipop #in my head its the pickled mango flavour that alpenliebe already made a hard candy version of here #hard sour candy shell with. chili salt core. it is good (?) but it hurts my stomach (I will not stop eating them) #also if u catch the acc name going outside the panel in the comic. its bc I could NOT leave it at just 'random white girl' #it has to be the full thing I cannot do this fake fictional twitter user like that #literally the only preliminary caution I take for funny comics. nothign else makes sense I dont care. this is necessary however #anyways. it is time for baku to be horizontal and shit. so here we goooo #have a good nite lads! idk what will happen in the next 3 days! will most probably be silent! and then dip pen comms will open again #eat well sleep well! two daysborday until labor day

[antisocialgaycat]

For once in my life i just want to be the youngest and least experienced person in the room. I want to be allowed to absolutely suck, to not have to be a role model, and to not have to constantly be performing. I want to be allowed to show emotions instead of being a constantly cheery, happy, approachable and experienced leader. I just want to be able to relax and be myself and do things for myself and not have to show people how to do everything.

#just a load of garbage #fucking hate it #like its great i get to help little kids (like 2 years younger than me maybe 3) be less shitty #but im not allowed to be shitty myself #literally stop treating me like a staff member there are people here with so much more experience than me #dont mind me yall #also accelerated curriculum and going to a gifted school aint doing wonders for me rn #i kinda wanna leave and go to my local high school #cos at least there i wont be doing so badly #i want to go back to being a year 7 honestly they can do whatever they want #i dont want all this responsibility im literally just a kid #anyways

[wampabampa]

i started dark urge play last night cause i wanted to take a break from Miz'ri gameplay and man do i literally hate everybody but wyll shadowheart and karlach JSJIVBS

#squish the goober #baulders gate 3 #rambles #bg3 #bg3 durge #i love them i really do but with durge im playing as if it was fr fr me like not as if i was the character #and #GOD THESE FUCKERS ANNOYING AS FUCK #esp gale #the amount of times i shove him and astarion off cliffs because they give me attitude #like nooooo way ur sitting there giving me shit when i SAVED UR ASS #I COULD KILL U RIGHT HERE RN DONT PLAY WITH ME WHITE MAN #They pissing me off sm idek who to romance #also im getting contacts!! yay!! #ive always wanted to have contacts because my glasses i feel always ate up my face #cause even though i dont draw myself with glasses i do infact have glasses and they are black and rectangular and i hate it #but hopefully my new glasses will make me feel better #im kinda iffy on them but i litterally just wanted something new and something to match my wisp concert outfit #which the colors are black dark dark blue and gold #so praying

[dianagj-art]

I've been drawing the turltes way too much that I've defaulted to drawing smiles like that

Anyways, new year new avatar!

Plus a little gif of my process bellow the cut

#og art #avatar redraw #personal avatar #digital avatar #I'm not completely into the pink light i chose. I might change it later #also i really like the pose but I feel like the peace sign gets lost #I might add another pass of shadows to leave the hand behind darker to make it pop out #but is almost 6am rn I dont think im thinking stright anymore #maybe after a few hours of sleep this'll look better and i wont be so critical on myself #i always kinda wanna flex redoing my avatar but then i get tired and dont want to do it adjkflakjgf #at least this time i did bounce light #i never add that even when I know i should to make it look better #dg art

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤pt.2

#only 30 tags lol i ran out... so furthermore #we only get one life. im gonna try as much as i can to enjoy the little moments. nd to not give up on myself nd my life #i will die one day anyway. why rush it. i'll enjoy as many books and as many walks and songs and tv shows as possible #if i get a loan nd have more money i wanna bleach my hair nd dye my hair green #and later this year i think i might change my name #it was the name i wanted to change to from the beginning. but i was in such a bad headspace i just picked eden at random #i do kinda like it now nd im attached to it but i more feel like this other name actually is me. my birth name nd my current name dont feel #really right. so maybe. i havent decided yet. like i rlly dont know. im also attached to this name for some other reason. like it's who i am #to a person i rlly like and if i change... will i be anything to them? i cant put it into words but that makes me hesitate #but it's unhealthy to stay attached to someone i cant truly have even if i want to. so i mean. idk im just weird abt it #but i do kinda wanna change my name (to embla. my mom wanted to give me that name but my dad was like nooo >.<) i am not 100% sure tho so #when i've been getting used to going to school nd working out at the gym. nd after my surgery nd i have more energy #i will try to face my avpd and try apps for making friends. there r two apps where u can find new girl friends!! maybe i can try that #also like i've never tried apps but i think maaaaaybe i can use bumble to try to find friends and women to date. potentially. idk..... #rn it's hard for me to think in those terms bc. i mean i am hung up on someone!!!! i cant evwn imagine dating or being intimate w anyone els #sometimes i feel like.. they're the only person i've ever felt like it'd even be possible. who i'd event want to do that w #not only physically but emotionally. so ig it's even harder to let go bc im so scared i will never feel like that w anyone else #but i rlly need to try to make the most of whatever life i have. the world will collapse soon anyway #that makes me even more sad that i cant be w who i wanna be w nd do what i wanna do but #all pain will all be completely descimated eventually. it's not forever bc life isnt forever #i've just never felt this before. like i want smth to be real so bad but if it happened once surely it can happen again? right? #i wont spend my life alone without intimacy and love and comfort nd support nd understanding right???? :o hope not #im still so sad nd exhausted rn. nothing in my life is working nd theres no repreive nd no help #it gets sooo hard to endure everything sometimes when everything just keeps piling up and gets so heavy it feels like im drowning #nd atm i dont feel like i have any anchor. nothing that keeps me grounded nd im just floating away nd im constantly being overwhelmed by my #feelings nd emotions. im like a stupid little kid who dont understand how to handle what im feeling. or make rational decisions #i feel so ... stupid and useless. i dont know what im doing. i have no idea. i have no compass. its so scary

[cheerioss]

i really want to trust the writing process of the miraculous writing teams especially because of the fact that there are different ones which can be difficult for super good continuity but like… how can i trust it when there are so many retcons and one of them (cough aka the creator cough) keeps getting into arguments with ppl on twitter and claiming that “everything’s planned from the beginning” and things cannot happen cuz “this one specific outcome will happen no matter what if this thing happens!!!”

#like sir you’re the CREATOR #THE WRITER #like hello it’s not as if the story’s writing itself #im only like a casual occasional writer #i dont even call myself one #but like this literally screams last minute writing for a deadline #and terrible organisation of the story and ideas #also if you’re getting A LOT of criticism about your show it’s kinda saying something… #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #miraculous #ml spoilers #ml salt #omg im ml salt-ing rn

[wooahaes]

Hiii!! I just wanted to check up on you. How are you feeling? Are you doing ok? I hope you are taking care of yourself and able to enjoy the holiday as much as you can. Thinking of you ❤️

hii lovely

life has kinda quieted down some? which is good and things are going okay when im not frustrated with the rest of my family (feels like im the only one whos rly... being a caretaker at all...) but im just kinda taking it one day at a time rn

ty for checking in <3 i hope u get to spend the holiday happily as well <3

#wooahaes.ask #completely-zoned-out #ive barely been writing lately and i think im more frustrated over That than anything else #just bc its always been my outlet ykno? so not being able to do it is just.... hnnghghgh #i did get the 25 + 31 fics written and ill schedule em #maybe i can get a couple other days done and posted if i feel up to it? idk #i honestly nearly pulled the plug on them entirely like 'i dont think i can do this' but im glad i kinda just let myself have time n space #to work as i please p much since i think that helped a lot more than i thought it would #sorry abt the wonu fic when it gets posted its... definitely affected by my life rn. obvs nothing has happened Yet #but it does like. ykno. pull from it a liiiiil bit

[oatbugs]

3 2 1 let's go

#ive been kinda demotivating myself from studying and stuff over the past few days bc ive just been coding and i dont rly understand my own #code or how to fix it rn so it takes hours . anyway ive been neglecting my actual uni work etc etc like bitch u have a lott of stuff to do #so many modules all in one term like get it together u cannot be slacking rn ! #anyway lets do that today. i like all my modules (even the ones i didnt get to pick/cores) so its hard to focus on just 1... #ok i used an rng it came to 2 so lets do neural networks #announcing to internet so i feel more accountable. i rotted for 2 months its exhausting i need + want to do things again. esp when this ter #the modules r cute..

[waywardsalt]

its weird how botw/totk and. pretty much all of the other loz games seems to have entirely separate fandoms at times

#like. how they dont typically intersect if that makes sense? like botw/totk people seem to only talk abt botw/totk #like when ppl talk abt loz ships it doesnt seem uncommon for only botw/totk ships to be mentioned #so botw/totk stuff and other loz stuff seems slightly isolated from each other its kinda interesting #its a little frustrating? bc the botw/totk bits seem to be most popular rn and. i really dont give a shit abt it #granted i holed myself up in my little ph niche corner so nothing i like is going to be popular #but its just weird. i migjt delete this later. idk if this divide is a good thing or a bad thing #but it does feel emblematic(?) of how vastly different botw/totk are to the rest of the series #cuz its like!! i get theres likely an age divide ajd botw/totk are v accessible and new and stuff #and fine if you dont want to branch out from there #but its a little weird how most loz stuff is just Two(ish) games nowadays that barely even resemble everything else #like!!? the most popular link is fucking Blue while hes not even remotely the majority in that its so strange. i prefer green link #idk hiw to explain this??? i think i just have a personal frustration w/ it in how botw/totk are so seperate but eclipse everything else

[roseworth]

the most important step of writing a paper is to go on tumblr and make posts complaining about how you have to write a paper

#the one i have to work on rn is literally only 4 pages. but i cant focus on it #i know i could just get this done tonight if i could force myself to work on it #the worst part is its not even hard. its about my chemical romance. #the problem is its for the only class i dont have an a in so this paper kinda makes or breaks my 4.0 this semester #SORRY im done complaining about my academic struggles i just really dont want to actually work on this #but we persevere 🫡

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#aaaand that's 2 doctors that think i have bipolar ii 🙃 #so the conceptualize rn would b that my mood is fucked but im using ocd to keep myself contained withing sorta normal parameters #which. i mean. that does kinda fit with observationally. i would create rules around: u arent allowed to get excited abt things u arent #allowed to enjoy things bc u cant handle it. u cant b normal abt how u enjoy things. or bc when i go to enjoy a thing #my mood is caped at being lightly miserable so its like well fuck being around ppl it makes me feel nothing #bc my focus and energy swing around like the light on a lighthouse. and in between that im miserable or feel nothing #and if its true that i am bipolar the reason i never noticed would b bc i very rarely experience euphoria. mostly i have high energy and #dont feel good. just fucking out of control. so mixed episodes i guess. but like idk. i guess i just think of bipolar as being extremely #destructive. and i mean r my mood issues a problem? yes. sometimes a really big problem. but idk. im still resistant to thr idea #lots of ppl get misdiagnosed as bipolar even tho the presentation is so specific. i guess i just doesn't wanna accept it and then have to #have been wrong if i was misdiagnosed. but i mean 2 doctors independently listened to me and thought hm sounds like bipolar so maybe im #just being stubborn. also no one else in my family thst i kno of is bipolar. ive got 2 uncles with adhd but not bipolar relatives #i dunno. i guess it doesn't matter so long as i can get it under control. im good at control. destructively good at control #unrelated #i guess its more that ive never done anything life ruining bc of my moods #mostly i just dont sleep much and make myself crazy. so ill probably die an early death or whatever lack og sleep causes rio #i meant rip lol

[hyunrun]

tw ed in the tags !!

#im feeling sooo awful abt my body today its crazy #i dont wanna relapse but also i have prom and grad coming up so its very very tempting #silly side note but ive been friends w some moots on edtwt longer than I've known some of my irls and that's crazy to me #anyway i was looking at tweets of me being so majorly uber excited abt final hitting 45 kg T-T like man omfg #feb 23 me was the skinniest id ever been and i was thriving !! #and i highkey wanna be that again #was my hair thinning and did my face look so gaunt it scared me at times? yes #did i also feel my prettiest + have the most external validation from strangers etc ever? also yes !! #i feel fat and ugly rn but I'm also just very averagely weighted #but i have a naturally broader built but i feel like i look bigger even if I'm not ?? 9ufdkjhjs #anyway its scary looking through old tweets bc I'm talking abt skipping lunch like everyday and stuff like that's scary !! don't do that #but also it makes me wanna do it again like if i could look like that again... id genuinely kill myself for it #i was kinda also p healthy back then LOL only ate god food #cardio every evening + muscle training every morning #anyway teehee thats all i very much dislike my body rn and i hope i can lose a bit so i don't feel like dying <3 #i have hope bc im only 5kg off what i used to be so !! shouldn't be too hard yaaya if i can just get back in the 40s ill be happy like a 47 #i got this !! hopefully will not destroy myself in the process yay #tw ed

[myriadsystem]

.

#personal #i have doctors appt today with a new doctor its literally not even a real appointment i just need some stupid forms signed #but guys im so stressed im so scared ive already cried once about it today i just. i fucking hate doctors so so much #theyre all so bad. im not in the mood to be dismissed again today and its 15 goddamn degrees so everything feels bigger and worse than it is #if they dont sign the form i dont get paid any more and if i dont get paid i cant continue to try and sort out my medical #which means i continue to not get paid and im just. so scared. so so fucking scared i dont even care if we find the start if the path #to vetter my health i dont care about gettinf better right now i just need this fucking form signed but #ive already been dismissised for it once and i have new doctor jitters. what do you mean i have to tell someone new that #i have ptsd and anxiety and depression and fibro and alleged bpd but its probably autism actually and hope #hope and prey they losten to me because its other doctors that have told me this and im definitely computer illiterate i couldntve come up #with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot #please believe me dr refer me to ypur colleagues for further testing but in the mwan time sign the one form i need please #im so scared. i dont know what to do. my tarot says to tryst myself and find my own authority about the situation #but like literally legally i cant i have to rely on the hope this new doctor gives her signature or i dont get fucking paid as stated #i hate this i feel so shaky and nervous and nauseous and awful 😮‍💨 #and im supposed to do groceries today. im at the very end of my shopping like if i dont go get food today #then i dont eat tonight but its cold and rainy and im super stressed abt the appointment so idk if ill be able to go shopping after #i dont wanna die anymore but like rn i kinda do this is too much today feels like too much #help me im drowning