#like a hospital work better

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt? #i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other?? #why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this?? #i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us?? #im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

[toruq]

#sso #star stable online #ssoblr #sso linda #linda chanda #linda's purple glasses #sso anne #anne von blyssen #my art #well i must be honest in that i've been spending a lot of time wishing that i would wake up in the hospital #with no responsibilities besides eat sleep and go potty #like #life is so simple in there #and i feel the same kind of tired that i do when im hooked up to morphine in an iv #but real life exists and i have to worry about relationships uni family work living in new country soon #and on top of it all #just more traumatic stuff #that #has recently been hard to process #and i have to process it for anything to get better #and for this stuff to stop happening #at least stop happening from the handful of people who cause it #but for the rest of the world #it is still fucked #its just been feeling like quite the isolating time as of late #i have me my lindas in life #but fuck i need a concorde right now. #concorde is technically self... though #i need my conscience on my side

[mokadevs]

my polish dad who plays arknights with me was like "oh are you going to be streaming your pulls for texas...? no? then do you wanna do our pulls together? we can take turns doing ten pulls..." im so 🥺

#kiki speaks #playing arknights with my dad is really fun actually :> #i got him into it when he was in the hospital last year and couldnt work #so not to be cringe but it is an emotionally important game for me ;w;; #cause its like #“its the game i talked about with my dad as he was getting better”

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags- #it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭 #fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneepy cozy....

#cats #(medical stuff mention for tags) #poasting confortable image of boye for peace and serenity and such forthe #I have little weird episodes sometimes where I get shaky (but like violently like 'would spill a drink if you were holding it beacuse #your hands are moving so much' type shaky) and weird and sick feeling but usually it passes in an hour or less. but last night I just #literally couldnt sleep I was shaking so much and my heartrate was up a ton and wouldn't go down even after like 6 hours plus super nausea #so I went to the hospital and now shall wear a heart monitor for a week. which hopefully it's just some weird drastic low blood sugar #event or something and there's nothing actually going on. ekg + ct scan for blod clots + virus panel + almost all of the blood work seems #normal so... aa....... #Though me being so privacy focused hrggh... I basically have a constantly bluetooth connected device around me #since the monitor comes with a cell phone that is constantly transmitting data to the place. which they said they'll call you #if they see anything weird which is also scary. random phone calls... but definitely better than letting an issue go unadressed lol #the phone is also not meant to be more than 10 feet away from the monitor at any time so I put on this old tactical fishing #vest thing thats like navy green with 100 pockets and im just using one of the giant pocketson the side as a phone holder #my enormous silly vest just to keep one little phone #ANYWAY... because I got up early the morning before and didn't sleep at all and spent nearly all day in waiting rooms and such #I have been awake for like 32 hours striaght. which I'm sure also does not help with an elevated heartrate lol #feeling shrimp emotions or whatever people talk about unlocking at a certain level of stress and sleep deprivation #and also no food or water. after a while they brought me like 3 saltines and some ice water but I basically also haven't eaten since 3am #last night and it's 2pm now.. #thus............ bapy............. baby boye....... he will help ease all ailments with his baby powers... #And no I dont drink energy drinks or anything with caffiene really I'm afraid of all substances on the planet essentially #My body just likes to become shaky and weird randomly even when I'm not conciously anxious about anything/have had no caffiene/etc #and I guess I'm always more nervous about getting anything heart related checked out because of my arm/shoulder/chest area injury stuff #... i literally have constant chest pain all the time. it moves around but i nearly always have some sort of pain or pressure in my chest #so when people are like 'oh well a little weird heartrate is fine but watch out if you have pain!' it's like... i always do lol.. how am I #supposed to tell the Bad Pain apart from the Always Pain when the descriptions of Bad Pain are very very similar #AAAANYway.... hrghh... i wanted to be very productive and finally post drafts and wrok on things today. but alas.. #I can at least post small image of soft boye.. though he recently got into stuff in the bathroom whilst left #alone and knocked things into the toilet.. So perhaps not an innocent and NICE boy.. but still.. a soft one .. beautfile....

[laniidae-passerine]

see I am very disjointed from a lot of nine/ten fandom discourse because I genuinely believe that in a different world where space boy was not to be seen, had an older Rose gone to the hospital and bumped into a certain Doctor Jones by a vending machine or as she was taking Rose’s vitals, she would have instantly hit it off with Martha. and probably flirted with her a little on accident and then on purpose when Martha flirted back

#I can see Martha raising an eyebrow as she catches Rose (who definitely snuck out despite being on bedrest) by the vending machine #Rose probably snuck out of bed because the girl in the bed next to her was crying and she wanted to make her feel better #because she doesn’t really like hospitals either #and when she tells Martha this she’s surprised when the Doctor (who seems quite strong and a little serious) suddenly smiles #and shows her a trick to get extra sweets and chocolate out of the machine #and then tells her to hurry because the check-in sweep of Rose’s ward is about to begin #you just KNOW Rose would be Martha’s most combative patient but in all the best ways #always asking what that machine does. what that incomprehensible doctor scrawl means. if there’s something she can do to help other patients #and Martha loves it. loves how much Rose cares just like her. they gossip and they chat about their daily lives. they get closer #everytime Martha has to scold Rose for sneaking out of bed or doing something she shouldn’t #(even though she secretly adores it. she’s never really mad she just wants Rose to take care of herself as well as other people) #she sighs and says (in her most firm but still fond tone) ‘Miss Tyler-’ #only to be struck in the heart again with a cheeky grin and a ‘yes Doctor Jones?’ #and also Rose loves that Martha is a doctor. that Martha cares. that she works overtime. that almost all Martha’s patients love her #and the ones that don’t just aren’t kind people anyway. that Martha doesn’t condescend. that Martha cares and cares and cares #that Martha likes all the things about Rose that other people think make her difficult and trouble and too much #she likes the things that other people don’t like in Martha either. thinks she’s magic. #Rose Tyler is always going to love her Doctor. and Martha Jones will always love somebody who thinks everybody matters #I’m like. obsessed with them?? move OVER space boy (actually nine can get involved in this. lmao ten stay away) #they’d have been so cuteeeee #rtd failed to see the lesbionic possibility but I am no such coward. no fighting over boys here #martha jones #rose tyler #dw #doctor who

[ithinkheknowss]

What a fucking day...

#we had to drive my dad to the hospital cause he has a horrible stomach bug #then i went to my own appointment and finally i have a diagnosis for the pain I've been feeling #then walked like crazy around town to get my prescribed meds go to GP and get sick leave for both me and my dad #waited for over an hour there #then finally bought a pretzel for breakfast at 11 #went to my dad's work to drop off his sick leave note #went back home #all of this on foot apart from the initial drive to hospital #dad is home now too and slightly better #and i have to go out again in ~2 hours to catch my train and go home cause i got work tomorrow #annie talks

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like??? #this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms. #but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

[orcelito]

As for my post this morning. If anyone was worried. Me personally I'm okay (I guess) but my dad's in the hospital and things r still very up in the air. So.

#speculation nation #bracing myself for the possibility of Major Grief.....2!!!! #well actualy more like 3 or 4 or 5 (lol lol lol) #but likely the worst one bc it's. my dad. that's my dad. #i left work early to visit him at the hospital. hes stable rn at least (he wasnt this morning) #he wasnt conscious though. and i really really hope he ends up okay #but. i still saw my dad unconscious in a hospital bed hooked up to like a million tubes and #thats my dad. Thats my Dad. #im really trying to not do my processing until after i know for sure how things are gonna go #dont wanna start grieving until after he's officially gone #so im trying not to think about it. but it's still... yeah. unpleasant. #and theres a part of me thats so so resentful. if i have to have a dead parent why would it be the Good one? #take my fucking mom instead. hell my life would even be BETTER without her. horrible as that is to say. #but it's my dad. he's not perfect. he has his flaws. but he's still tried in a way she never ever did. #seeing him like that makes me feel so... small. makes me remember being picked up by him. #makes me remember riding on the back of his harley as a tiny little 10 year old with a helmet that was giant on me #we'll hope for the best. we'll hope for a recovery. even if not a full recovery. i just want to have my dad. #sorry. this is probably too real for my tumblr dot com. it's just been... a lot today. #negative/ #death/ #hospitals ment/ #idfk. sorry

[familyabolisher]

never apologise and it shouldn't be possible to make anyone work weeks that long for a living

hospitality is fucked lol i did a thirteen hour shift yesterday 👍🏻 i do 7-9 hour shifts with no break and nothing to eat except other people's leftovers multiple times a week 👍🏻 eleven great british pounds an hour

#ask #and like i would say i'm at the better end of hospitality work lol. evil industry. #tbc it is £11/hr plus tips but like. still really not a lot lol!!

[thegeekyartist]

I haven't napped this much since I was on antidepressants

#im so exhausted #im sad and anxious and my stomach feels like its on fire rn #i got abnormal blood test results on Friday right when all the offices closed #after going to the hospital that morning for OTHER test results that were extremely concerning #(only to find out THOSE results were a mistake) #and ive spent all weekend working myself into a spiral over these fucking results #and i wont even know what they mean until tomorrow at the earliest #and im so tired of getting bloodwork done 😞 ive gone like 3 times in a week and a half #and all of this extea testing isnt even WHY i went to the doctor in the first place!!! #so even after i figure out this shit i STILL have to get a colonoscopy next week 🙃 #i just want to feel better 😞

[prick-love-for-arting]

"Don't worry, Aone, I've only got a few hours to go"

more hospital AU! I've mentioned nurse Aone, but also I think him and Futakuchi run into each other as one leaves and the other arrives most of the time. They have breakfast/dinner together. Sometimes Futakuchi works longer hours and Aone isn't always the biggest fan.

#art #haikyuu!! #aofuta #aone takanobu #futakuchi kenji #fan art #digital art #sketch #haikyuu art #hq rarepairs #hospital au #i forgot to ramble in the tags #how could i #anyway better late than never #so more AoFuta hospital au headcanons! #they take a while to actually get together and during the long mutual pining the other ngc catch on and mess with Futakuchi about it #but also its not like they wouldn't do the same to every other developing relationship in the group like no one is safe #again ICU nurse Aone he cares a lot about every single one of the patients he works with and is also the muscle on the unit

[ghost-pasta]

thought up an au where the nature of Danny & Vlad's portal accidents change (this changes some major plot aspects) but i'm legitimately having too much fun with it.

(the comparison's with the Canon looks are for ghost form specifically. tho I may change Danny's,,,, maybe)

#danny phantom #if you saw the other post no you didn't #dp au #dp accident swap au #my art #danny fenton #vlad masters #i realized this au is basically just: #''what if vlad was allowed to be happy? get ghost powers and no years of hospital stays? stayed with his friends?'' #and that's just so sad #but vlad with less baggage means all his subtle sillier quirks are exaggerated in comparison and he's so fucking silly like omg #his ass is not rich in this au and yes. him and jack play fantasy football together. it's very serious work #danny in comparison gets better treatment for his accident than vlad got in canon but he's STILL very emo about it #sam loves his white hair (not helping sam) #dp redesign #<kinda

[hearties-circus]

'Fake it till you make it' in order to use someone is such an easy plan until you realise you haven't been faking it for some time

#al art #al ocs #they kill me theu kill me have i said that #you realisse you actually Do have to work with your parents killer if you want to get evidence for the case #so you figure hey. ill pretend. im not gonna be nice but ill be friendly. the closer we get the better #and then one day a couple years down you realise youre not pretending. the two of you Are friends #you actually feel positively about your parents murderer. you like them. #you lost track of your mission youre siding with yhe enemy and everyone arounf you thinks youre inseparable. which you are #does it count as a hospital drama if i dont give a fuck about the patients its just these two weirdos #axel #denys

[deadpanwalking]

deadpan your tags on that depression post… you are always so perceptive and wise and eloquent in general, i delight in reading any long string of tags you write, but that one in particular hit so hard and so good. literally screenshotted it to use as reminder when i’m feeling That Depressive Way. thank you for sharing your thoughts I always gain something from them, trivial or serious.

To be honest, the wording of that post rubbed me the wrong way, so I'm glad the tags worked for you—I'm a big fan of humanist psychology, which is predicated on the idea that nobody actually wants to be in pain. When we keep making the same mistakes, it's not out of a desire to be trapped in a Freudian masochism loop, but out of a simple animal desire to do it again and again until we get it right. I know I always paraphrase this thing my old SLP once said, but it's true: if any of us were lazy, we'd be having fun.

Physical self-harm—cutting, drinking, substance abuse, even suicide—feels right because it brings relief; if they didn't serve us, nobody would keep doing them; avoidance also serves us—a therapist in my last outpatient program explained the neuroscience behind why it feels great to cancel plans: the wash of relief you feel when you don't have to put on pants is partially due to neurotransmitters that help you relax after getting anxious; when you cancel plans too often, the neurochemical reinforcement tricks your brain into perceiving any social situation as a threat, in turn, that lowers your threshold for handling bad stress and good stress (aka eustress, which you get from challenging yourself), until even the thought of cracking a cold one with the boys feels like too much.

Fortunately, you can bounce back by going outside and committing to low-stakes high-reward interactions that remind your brain how cracking a cold one with the boys can be more fun than cracking six warm ones in your gross bedroom. And this will work even if you spent the past few years wrapped in a cocoon of your own wings; if the avoidant behavior death spiral were completely irreversible, I'd literally be answering this ask from an underground cave while shirking my administrative duties as Governor of the Mole People.

#if i sound blithe rest assured that no matter what i say my mental illness is characterized by a lack of insight into my own depression #if the past is anything by which to judge there are better than even odds that my next episode will land me in the hospital for some time #during this time i won't be able to access anything i told you in a meaningful way. it will sound like gobbledygook & i'll repudiate it #but like 2 months after i get discharged i'll finally work up the nerve to go to a salon and get the matted clump cut out of my hair #and maybe 1 month after that i'll let myself be coaxed on stupid shitty walks to the wretched park to look at the birds #and at the end of all my exploring i will arrive at the place where the boys are chilling and crack open a cold one for the first time #this is a threat btw #anonymous #assbox

[floral-hex]

Okay okay, I usually hate posting selfies, but then again, I also love a little mild attention. So, to strike a balance, here are 4 recent ones, but I’m posting them at 2am so I don’t have to worry about bothering too many people. Yeah? Ok thanks I love you

#yes I know how time zones work… they’re fake. it’s night everywhere right now. duh. #sometimes a girl just wants to hear she’s pretty 🤷🏻‍♂️ #I’m sorry I have a perpetual grumpy face. I don’t know what to do about that 🤷🏻‍♂️ #god I’m bored. and lonely. and yearning. yeah… #I don’t want to get into that right now… ok I do but maybe let’s not do it in these tags #anyway I’m actually probably going to chop off most of my hair this weekend #I know I know. dudes cutting off long hair is a sin but also… it’s hot. my hair is heavy and gets gross easily #it’ll grow back soon enough but for now it needs to be razed #so what else what else… #this is my third night staying in the hospital while my mom is admitted #she’s doing better but I don’t really want to leave her here alone for too long #being stuck in bed feeling like shit all day gets lonely and tiresome so someone’s gotta hang with her #it’s not so bad on my part. I just sit in this chair all night on my phone and then eat breakfast in the cafeteria #easy peasy #I haven’t been home much in the past few days. just a few hours at time to nap and then head back #but it’s good. things are getting better #yup… #I guess that’s it… I don’t know what else to say #you can ignore this #take it sleazy #me #selfie #gross boy