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#like bitch are you kidding me
coolcoelacanth · 3 months
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when i cook him into a five course meal, nurture and water him for years, then he gets some new girl (younger than us, of course, she hasn't been scorned yet), and uses all the swag he stole from me to win her over (including my music taste). and of course, she's pretty and probably likable. then they remain together for this whole time (around 1 year) and we were together for approximately 3-4 yrs (we were on and off). they got together approximately 1-2 months after we ended things (i finally decided to have self respect). tell me what kind of sick karma this is, to have my work stolen so easily and to be discarded so quickly. honestly the audacity. i wish i had never cooked, if i didn't i guarantee he would never be able to get another girl so fast (he used to just stare at me when i cried and i taught him empathy, he also had zero rizz and he stole my rizz). i think my evil witch of a mother put a curse on me as soon as i was conceived in the womb because she hated me as soon as that sperm combined w her egg. can someone tell me which god i have to make a sacrifice to for these people to get their karma and me to actually get what i want for once (genuine love and affection)?
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apollos-boyfriend · 11 months
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so my younger cousin is flying in to visit from brazil on sunday, and will be staying here for like, the entirety of july. which, don't get me wrong, is super cool! i love the kid! but it felt like a super weird move, considering his parents are the SUPER strict and borderline helicopter parents. even the smallest prank/roughousing with him/his little sister would lead to a strict talking to from his parents, he couldn't ever do anything without their clear permission, that sort of stuff. so letting him fly at alone at 16 to a whole different country and stay there for a whole month seemed WILDLY out of character. additionally, it just felt like a super last-minute trip. it's not like we have any plans to do when he gets here, and the flight itself and stuff only got booked like, midway through june.
and i was talking to my mom about it, kind of trying to nudge some answers out of her, and after a while she went, "yeah, i think they're sending him over here to get away for his boyfriend. see if the distance breaks them off." which, first of all, surprised me because last i checked, they didn't KNOW he had a boyfriend. literally everyone in the family did EXCEPT for them because while that entire side of the family being semi-conservative, his parents (mostly his dad) are EXTREMELY old-fashioned. so clearly something already went wrong. and considering the only reason the rest of the family knew is because one person found out and it spread like wildfire, i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't the one to tell them, either.
and second of all. they're sending him HERE. to try to make him forget his homosexuality. i couldn't do anything but just wordlessly gesture to the multiple pride flags scattered around my room, then to myself, because really? he has like two other cousins in the us and they're sending him to me? honey i am about to introduce this kid to queer scenes you have never even heard of. he'll be returning home with labels only shrimp can perceive
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sunnibits · 7 months
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“the kids chose protective mom izzy in the divorce” is literally my new favorite joke to come out of s2 so far I’m utterly obsessed
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084392 · 1 year
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ok ok WHAT are pokemon that you know would scare the ever loving shit out of you if you just stumbled on them in the wild as someone in the pokemon world?(can include legendaries, mythicals, UBs, paradox pokemon, and just rare pokemon in general btw)(or just specific not rare ones too)(also im sorry but do not give me that "none i would hug and love all of them!!" crap istg)(or try and tell me that you wouldnt be scared bc you're "not a pussy" or something -_-)
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steddiealltheway · 2 months
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Something that is canon in my mind that I forget to tell people:
The reason why Steve can’t get bitches in his Scoops Ahoy era is because there’s a rumor going around that he’s gay (probably because someone caught him hooking up with Eddie)
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little-pondhead · 1 year
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Inspired by this post.
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fyoht · 10 months
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oh my god. look at him. what a little bitch.
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telesilla · 4 months
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Not gonna go out on this limb on a 25k post, but maybe it’s okay that kids today don’t know as much about using an actual computer as we do/did? Is it useful knowledge? Of course it is. So is using a sewing machine or being able to rebuild your VW with a copy of that one book every VW driver used to have. That’s not the right question—most practical knowledge is useful after all. The question should be “is it relevant to the way people live right now.” “How to Keep Your VW Alive” is a timeless fucking classic; my ex and I kept our copy long after he sold his VW. But I’m not buying a copy now because it won’t exactly help me keep my VW ID4 on the road.
And it’s funny, because I tend to read along with those posts and nod my head, because back in my day we HAD to know all that computer stuff. And then for some reason today, I remembered a conversation my mom and I had with my grandma in the mid 70s when I was a teenager. Grandma made my mom’s wedding dress. She worked at a department store doing alterations on foundation wear, which if you look at 1950s foundation wear, you’ll realize was both necessary and difficult. So she was shocked when I said most of my friends didn’t know their way around a sewing machine. “But how do you make sure your clothes fit?!” Well, Grandma, people don’t wear heavy foundation wear any more and clothes don’t need to be as tailored as they did back in the day—it’s 1975 and the only alterations I need to do is hemming my flares so they just touch the floor when I’m wearing platforms.
Now you can back up and look at the broader picture, the one that says, but your car should be repairable by you as long as you have clear instructions, and you should be able to alter your clothes or make your own, and yes, you should know how to organize the files on the desktop of your laptop. But the fact that for the most part it’s become easier and easier to just not do those things (if they can be done at all) isn’t exactly the fault of Kids Today. And it’s certainly not meeting them where they are or even trying to understand why they feel they don’t need that knowledge if, instead of looking at why they don’t have it and maybe even don’t need it, you just decry their lack of the Deep Wisdom.
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just-null-cult · 8 months
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are you oka- oh.
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coolcoolcoolbutwtf · 4 months
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Prompt Single mom Danny lols
Now if you told pre Danny zapped that he would be a stay-at-home single parent for two very young half ghost children at 17 he would have called you insane.
Well joke's on him right?
Now Danny, freshly 17, is changing de-aged baby Ellie while trying to make sure 6 year old Dan also de-aged doesn't burn down the mansion. Vlad's mansion in Gotham ei where they are currently living Dan! You put that flaming hand down, right now mister!
Oh and the weirdo's in glorified spandex are not helping Danny's blood pressure. He's only 17 and he's already got a head of white hair! Damn his parents and their stupid de-power ghost ray!
The bats heard tidbits of calls and currently thinks Danny is being kept captive by some rich meta who is threatening Danny.
Danny is the one doing the threatening around here." Vlad you behave or I sic the feral children on you!" Danny being the most feral of course does most of the damage.
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ssaturnsapphic · 4 months
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when i see yt americans tell black and brown americans to vote for biden bc “trump will be worse” or “trump is extreme right”, i roll my eyes bc where on the political spectrum does joe biden, who is financing and supporting multiple genocides as well as restricting the human rights of MILLIONS of people, fall? yt ppl think that bc he tweets abt roe v wade (which he could’ve codified but didn’t btw) that that makes him left wing
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scarycranegame · 5 months
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people who post about "i'm not proship or antiship, i pay taxes" have the same energy as people who joke that their pronouns are "nor/mal": they aren't funny or interesting and they're inadvertently enabling fascist & bigoted behavior
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alpacacare-archive · 7 months
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why you booing me im right
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nightmarewolf133 · 2 years
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H̴̰̀é̶͉l̶̜̑l̸̨̅o̵̻̿ ̸̯̍C̸̣̾ĥ̶͖a̵̞͆s̷̭̅ë̷̪́
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locklylemybeloved · 8 months
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i seriously need people to stop hating on olivia rodrigo and taylor swift and sabrina carpenter.
please stop putting down other people because they listen to pop artists. you arent a cooler and better person because you only listen to rock - this is coming from someone who loves rock music. you arent a cooler and better person because you relentlessly call successful female artists and their listeners “basic.” you arent a cooler and better person than me because you come to school wearing an 80s rock band tshirt and i come to school in my taylor swift merch.
remember when obscure bands were hated on? yknow how even now when someone listens to indie or “underground” music, people mock them for being qUiRkY and DiFfErEnT? wasnt that annoying and doesnt that really piss you off?
yeah. its stupid. the fact that some of yall are out here insulting people because of the sound waves they project into the holes in their head is fucking insane.
“i dont like pop music it bores me its blah blah blah whatever ” ok. cool. dont listen to it then.
“olivia isnt talented shes just like (insert another female artist)” ok. cool. between you and her, which one has three grammys?
“i dont like that artist her songwriting is boring her lyrics are stupid and bad and BASIC.” cool. great. DONT FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM.
just stop being an asshole it doesnt look good on you :/
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𝗉𝗈𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗁
❥𝗌𝗇𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗍 : 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗍𝖺 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽’𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖻𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋.
{ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 — 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝖼𝗈𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗀𝖾, 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗒. }
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he’s not really surprised that she said it, cuz you say it all the time, calling him a "dumbass/hoe ass nigga" or telling him "nigga shut the fuck up." and aizawa teaching black students (mina and deku) and having a few black coworkers (mirko, rock lock and orca) he hears it all the time himself.
but he’s downright flabbergasted when and how she says it right to his face at that; after you told her to go get her father to come here and yk how kids be, adding extra words nobody told them to say. so your kid stands in front of him with a mischievous smile on her face and glint in her dark brown eyes as she says "mommy said to tell you ‘nigga bring your light bright ass down to the kitchen fo’ you don’t get no damn dinner’ so are you coming daddy?”
and he pauses for a moment having your black mother mannerisms come out of him. “d/n? whatchu just say to me?” she pales a bit “no daddy! that’s what mommy said.” he calls for you yelling your name. "aye y/n cmere!" you shout a "what!" from your place in the kitchen and he repeats himself. the sound of your slippers hitting the tile as you approach your shared bedroom, the anger in your steps ever so evident, belly protruding cause of your second child as you grumble loudly all the way to the door.
"nigga what? i told d/n to come get’chu for a reason na' my damn feet hurt ‘n all I wanted t’ do was cook." you look at him with an attitude hand resting on your wide hip as you leaned on the doorway. "whatchu want shota?" you take in the situation, your husband sitting on the bed a displeased expression on his face and your baby girl got tears welling up in her big brown eyes as she fiddle with her fingers.
"why my baby bout t’ cry?" you walk further into the room standing beside your daughter and in front of aizawa with your arms folded, he rubs on your belly looking up at your frustrated eyes. "’m sorry mama." he kissed your belly. "making you walk all the way back here but what did you tell her to tell me?" you suck your teeth when he kisses your belly again 'ain’t this just what i said earlier??'
sighing out your frustration you continued. "i told her to tell you ‘bring your light bright ass down fore you don’t eat dinner.’ got me walking all up ‘n down this damn house when you know how fat yo’ damn babies are." he rubs you again "’m sorry.. again it’s just your daughter cursing me out." you snicker before he looks at you with dead eyes.
"oh you was forreal? what did she say?" shota and you both look at your five year old her tears still threatening to fall. "tell your mama what you said." she whimpers while repeating what she told her father earlier, it’s a moment or two of silence before you burst out laughing. "fuck i gotta pee ima pee on myself."
you waddled to the bathroom giggling as shota rolled his eyes this is not the right outcome you came out the bathroom wiping the excess water on the cami as tears filled your ducts "’m sorry baby it’s just that shit was too funny." you sat on the bed next to him as you picked up d/n placing her on shota’s lap. "you’re supposed to tell her that she shouldn’t be saying those words at her young age."
you pat his face leaning forward to kiss your daughter on both her chubby cheeks fixing around her bonnet. "those aren’t even the extra bad ones.." you caress her cheek with your thumb. "you know not to say those words to your teachers and the grownups outside the house right? unless they need to hear it.." shota nudges your shoulder and you exclaimed playfully. "what sho i don’t think it’s that serious i think it’s quite hilarious in fact."
he shakes his head from side to side kissing the top of your daughters’ cap "just don’t get used to saying words like that ya’ hear me d/n." she nods her head and y’all stay there for a minute or two loving up on her before you you spoke interrupting the silence. "so baby girl.. say another curse word." "y/n!" you cackle at shota’s face getting ready to get up.
"i’m just kidding.. alright let’s go i wasn’t slavin’ over that hot ass stove for nothin." your daughter jumped off shota’s lap running towards the kitchen. aizawa gets up grabbing you by your hand, pulling you towards him minding your belly, your arms wrap around his shoulders stroking the hairs on the back of his neck as he slaps your ass then grabs it. "she gets it from you ya’ know. you need to stop cursing."
you hum pulling him down kissing him tenderly before pulling away, dragging your hands from his shoulders to pat his chest as you look deeply into his eyes. "i ain’t gotta do a fuck thing.. pretty ass nigga." you peck his lips before waddling away.
you turn your head, sticking your tongue and middle finger out at him before crossing the doorway, your husband shook his head know something like that was coming his way as soon as he said those words. 'these girls are finna be the death of me i hope this next girl isn’t so troublesome.'
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𝗌𝗉𝖺𝗆 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌. 𝖣𝖮𝖭𝖳 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗅, 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾. ©𝖼𝗂𝗍𝗒𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖺𝗅
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