#like cybertronian Jesus | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thanksjro · 6 months

Text

Transformers Holiday Special (2015) — Wishing You and Yours a Delightfully Secular Wintertime, Containing Absolutely Zero References to the Birth of Christ

Despite what some might like to think, Christmas isn’t for everyone; even with all the commercialization, at its heart, it’s still about the Baby Jesus. You can tell that we haven’t shaken the Christian connection, because the cover for this special issue has the father, the son, and the holy spirit, which is hidden behind the company logo.

And if Rodimus doesn’t stop screwing around, his resurrection’s gonna have to happen a lot sooner than Easter.

Because this is a comic special, things are going to be a little different. Instead of one standard-size issue, we’re getting three mini-stories, each with their own writer (from each of the comic runs that were publishing at the time) and artist. Our stories are listed here:

Don’t worry about what Ultra Magnus is up to behind that text.

Now, you may ask, why on earth am I covering this issue, which is a specifically Christmassy one, now, when it’s not currently Christmas? Well, according to Roberts, the story “Silent Light” takes place after MTMTE #49, and #50 is when the crew manifest for the Lost Light gets shaved down some, so realistically, this is when “Silent Light” happens in continuity. So I want you to keep in mind that Getaway’s Christmas isn’t going so great.

I won’t be going back to catch up on the other runs’ plots, as the Christmas stories are stand-alone.

Getting into it, our first story is:

Penned by Mairghread Scott and drawn by Corin Howell. We open up on a cityscape featuring a happy sun and some eye-searing narration boxes.

I went to Howell’s Twitter to see what her deal was, and was greeted with a banner consisting of a sexy succubus lady with her boobies out, so I’m going to assume she simplified her style for this issue, since mecha are hella difficult to draw.

Also, I hope you like the structure of How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, because that’s what we’re getting for the next little while, complete with chunky, white text on painful-to-view red.

Our story opens with all the transformers from the colonies visiting Cybertron and making friends with each other. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, which pisses off President-King Starscream to no end. Being the drama queen that he is, Starscream feels that everyone should be paying attention to him 24/7 and feed him grapes as he reclines on a sofa, because hasn’t he done enough for all these sorry sacks of shit? He hasn’t even caused a war, unlike the last guy who was in charge. Bumblebee (who is a ghost) tells him to just be fucking nice for once in his miserable life, but Starscream wouldn’t be Starscream if he could settle down like that.

Our god-king of the planet calls for his aide, Rattrap, who is going to be in his alt mode for the entirety of this story, to help him set up for a public broadcast addressing his need for attention and adoration.

He sends Rattrap off to deliver the tape to the news, which seems to consist of two very sleep-deprived individuals. Because they’re apparently the only two robots stupid enough to attempt to cover the nightmare hellscape that is Cybertronian current events, the last bit of Starscream’s tape is cut off when one of them falls asleep on the switchboard. This turns Starscream’s personal worship holiday into “For the Love of God Be Nice to Each Other” Day. Everyone takes to it beautifully, getting BFF tattoos, going on vacation with their husbands, hugging in the straightest gay way possible, holding parades, giving each other bombs, and getting absolutely shitfaced.

Starscream, distraught that nobody is giving him the emperor treatment like he had wanted, sulks in his twin bed, then moves to his dinky little throne as the night wears on, making the most miserable faces he can the whole time. Eventually, Chosen One Day ends, and he’s been completely ignored. Very sad.

Then, there’s a knock on his door, and Starscream creeps over to the peephole just in time to be smashed flat by Wheeljack slamming the door open. Last time we saw Wheeljack he was assumed dead by most, and floating in a tank at Starscream’s behest. He’s gotten better since then, clearly.

Wheeljack came with friends— the entirety of the main cast for Windblade/Til All Are One, to be exact— and they’re here to make sure that Starscream isn’t completely alone on this friendship holiday he accidentally invented. Everyone toasts to his good, totally intentional idea, and Starscream decides against killing all of them for at least the next 24 hours.

Now pay attention to this next story, because it’s actually canon-relevant, because of course Roberts would write a holiday special mini-comic that ties into his overarching plot. Fucking nerd.

Our artist for “Silent Light” is Kotteri (or Kotteri!, as it’s been written on some of their other publications) the pen name for Ikumi Fukuda. Kotteri is primarily a manga artist, having created their own works and well as working on other projects. I admittedly can’t find much on this person, not even their preferred pronouns, TFWiki itself using “they”, which I will default to. All of the info they’ve provided themself is, of course, written in Japanese, but even running things through a translator only proves that information to be purely professional. Their personal Twitter is protected, and my follow request was never answered, as far as I know. There’s a fan Twitter account for their art that claims “she”, but I have no way to verify, and I don’t want to assume anything based on art style, because that’s sort of shitty. Let it never be said that I didn’t do my due diligence here— I fucking hate using Twitter.

We open with Rodimus having just returned from Meteorfest, a festival where you surf on meteors and avoid your co-captain and SIC’s calls like the putz you are. He’s greeted by said co-captain and SIC decorating assembling a Christmas tree cloaking machine and finishing each other’s sentences like an old married couple. Rodimus tries to deny the existence of Minimegs, then we get our heavy-handed and lampshaded explanation for the crux of the issue. Megatron handles Minimus like a baby doll as the two of them explain that the Lost Light is about to hit Mauler territory.

Maulers are notorious for wanting the Cybertronians dead, but Megatron is too much of a macho man to pussy out and go around them. So instead, the crew will be hiding in special sleeping pods that will mask their spark signatures, and pray to their pantheon of gods that no one notices the ship the size of Manhattan. Brainstorm has like fifteen new inventions, despite being on house arrest from his lab. Megatron’s autobot badge is wearing a hat. Merry fucking Christmas.

Over at Swerve’s, it would appear that everyone’s favorite television junkie is closed for business, as it’s just him, Nautica, and Whirl, sitting on the floor getting absolutely shit-faced on subspace-filtered engex. This might’ve been an issue, as folks are supposed to be bedding down in their B.E.D.s for the next leg of the trip, but Swerve slipped Magnus some Bing Crosby earlier so they’re cool right now.

There’s a banging at the door, and Whirl decides to answer, even though it’s not his bar, because if it’s trouble come a-knocking, it was probably looking for Whirl anyhow.

When Whirl answers, however, it’s not Magnus having caught wind of Nautica disrespecting the Autobot code, but an entirely different flavor of problem.

Now, I know that thing Whirl’s holding looks like a fucked up Hitachi Wand, but it is, in fact, an entire-ass baby robot. It seems that when Cerebros (Fortress Maximus’s friend, if you’ll recall) sent the engex through the subspace, this infant Cybertronian (Luna One-ian?) got mixed in with the other supplies.

We learn a bit about how baby Cybertronians work before we remember, oh right, this kid is gonna get everyone killed if they catch wind of her spark, since there isn’t a B.E.D. for her. Yes, it’s a girl! Congrats to our three idiots on their Cybertronian gender non-conforming little princess.

They gang decides to shunt her back through the subspace hatch, so they head over to where it’s currently being housed— the office of Ultra Magnus. Nautica, using her wits and all the tools in her arsenal, smashes the window to the office and they break in. The empty Magnus Armor sits in the dark like a grim monument to being married to your job. Whirl informs Nautica how to comfort the baby that he super for-sure doesn’t care about, handing her off while he uses his titty glass to replace the window in the door. Swerve tries to bite through iron chains holding the subspace hatch hostage, only to be stopped by the sound of justice coming down the hall.

The gang, of course, looks suspicious as hell standing stock straight immediately in front of Magnus’s office, but Minimus rather likes the change of pace out of these goofy morons, and is maybe also trying to deflect his embarrassment at being caught performing his own personal karaoke. He sends them off to their B.E.D.s, and it looks like all’s well that ends well until Whirl asks where Sparky is.

Yes, he named the baby.

Don’t worry though, he’s totally not attached or whatever.

Nautica, in her panic to not be caught stealing/vandalizing/using equipment she doesn’t have the clearance for, stuffed Sparky in the Magnus Armor. And also put the helmet portion back on the body, for some reason. Anyway, it looks like our little princess is gonna be a load-bearer when she grows up, because Magnus is up and looking for hugs. Nautica, a paragon of level-headed thinking in times of crisis, handles this in the best way she can.

And that’s a wrap on Minimus Ambus! Let’s give him a hand, folks! And let’s also give a hand to the new Ultra Magnus, Miss Sparky Whirldòttir! Where did that little scamp get to, anyhow?

Swerve nominates himself to be the one to drag Minimus to a B.E.D. to sleep off his concussion, leaving Whirl and Nautica to track down the baby.

The scene changes to Megatron announcing a last call for beddy-bye time on the intercom, just as Ultra Sparky enters the room. She looms over Megatron, putting him in a very compromising position as he hits the intercom button with his arm. Rodimus, climbing into his own B.E.D., wishes that his co-captain and SIC would stop being gay for, like, five minutes, or at least wouldn’t do it where it can be broadcasted throughout the whole ship in audio format.

Whirl and Nautica come save Megatron from the onslaught of physical affection, stating that “Magnus” has had a bit too much to drink. Megatron orders them to bed from his fetal position on the countertop.

It’s bedtime, but we still haven’t figured out how to get the kid back to Luna 1 so the Maulers don’t super-murder the whole crew. Nautica leaves Whirl to figure it out, getting into B.E.D. and wondering who the fuck knocked on the door in the first place. Whirl tells her not to worry about it and to go to sleep, so he can be the one to deal with this mess.

Whirl, notorious for doing all the nastiest jobs— former Wrecker, intended bullet sponge for the time travel situation, attempting suicide via Megatron— is going to add another tally to the list labeled “Reasons My Peers Don’t Really Like Me All That Much”, by throwing an entire baby out the air lock.

However, Whirl is being written by Roberts, who would never allow the number of robot babies to go down, so Sparky’s adorable assimilation of Whirl’s signature physical features gets him right in the soft underbelly he swears doesn’t exist.

Wow, Roberts put a baby in that robot. Surely this is as overt as we’re going to get with this imagery, since we’re in a major publication and not some fan-fiction!

ANYWAY

Whirl wakes up in the Medibay, emptied of infant and freaked the hell out about it. Velocity— who I will remind you is basically the only medical doctor on the Lost Light, since everyone else is too busy getting railed by weeaboos and joining unethical polycules to do their actual jobs—informs him that his daughter is, in actuality, a massive colony of scraplets that combined to look like a newborn.

It turns out that Nautica is a bit of a snitch, having spilled the beans after she woke up. Whether or not she thought Whirl had thrown the baby out the air lock isn’t really addressed, but thank god he didn’t, because then we would have had to send everyone’s favorite gun-addled dipshit to jail for the rest of forever. Checking security footage revealed who the mystery knocker was— it was the scraplets, forming the shape of an arm.

When Nautica asks how the hell they all survived this, seeing as Whirl kept the murder baby, Whirl informs her that he cut off power to his own spark to allow everyone else to live, including his sweet baby princess, winning him a #1 Dad mug, and also several emails from Rung to please make an appointment with him.

Whirl’s miracle Christmas baby lied and stole with the intent to murder everyone on board, and that makes her the ultimate daddy’s girl.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed this canon-important holiday special story about Whirl becoming a father.

In our third and final story, it appears we’ve been transported to Whoville, by the talent of our MTMTE Season 1 colorist, Josh Burcham. Within Whoville resides Anna Log, a human woman who owns two turbofoxes and sleeps in full military body armor on her couch. The wall in her living room suddenly explodes, revealing a late-night visitor.

Motherfucker, you are supposed to be on the ship right now.

Mega-Claus fusion-cannons Anna Log, and we cut to a film noir office where none other than Thundercracker has his feet up on the desk. The art grayscales for this section, as he narrates that he’s a detective. He’s wearing a fedora. It’s January 7th. He has a mysterious past and probably thinks that makes him very sexy.

The phone rings, cueing Buster, Thundercracker’s puggle, to put on her own fedora, and the two go to see the crime scene, where Thundercracker is the same size as a normal human man and wears a trench coat.

It turns out that Anna Log is the director of security for the entirety of planet Earth, which is sort of a big deal. When Thundercracker and the cops look at the security footage, they see who did it— Santa Claus, played by Megatron himself. Fucked up.

Sure, pal.

Thundercracker must now fly to the North Pole and kill Santa, because that’s how the law works. He transforms, flies by Club Penguin and a Coke commercial, reflects on his job, and then gets ready for a fight with Santa’s security measures, as Busters glowing nose warns him of incoming danger. She’s very talented, Buster.

Thundercracker makes quick work of the cybernetic security reindeer with his twin energy katanas and Buster’s jetpack. He kicks down Santa’s door to find the jolly elf himself standing in the dark, potentially rabid. The two start kung-fu beating the shit out of each other. It should be noted that this Santa isn’t the Megatron Santa, who shows up behind the two as they brawl, but rather original-flavor fat man Santa. How Thundercracker didn’t notice this isn’t addressed.

Thundercracker demands to know why Megatron dressed up as Santa Claus to commit a murder— the murder part made sense, Director Log and Megatron would be diametrically opposed— and Megatron reveals the greatest slight against himself he’s ever known.

Framing Santa for murder ain’t exactly gonna turn that coal into a diamond, Meggy baby.

Thundercracker clocks Megatron, he becomes besties with Santa Claus, and they ride a flying tank into the sunset. Thus ends Thundercracker’s most brilliant writing project yet, which he was reading to Marissa Faireborn this entire time.

Marissa isn’t terribly impressed, poking holes in all the little nonsense bits, while also not feeling thrilled about having been killed off in the first two pages of Thundercracker’s book. While the two argue, Buster and Ayana Jones make a Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown! reference together, and the issue closes out with a big ol’ Autobot symbol, even though Thundercracker was a Decepticon, Ayana and Marissa are humans, and Buster is a goddamned dog.

Thus ends the Holiday Special. Up next, more direct story progression!

#transformers #MTMTE #holiday special #jro punches me in the face #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

129 notes · View notes

nova--spark · 5 months

Note

I have yet another idea for the Sparkling AU, this time it's fluff.

If and when Predaking brings the Predacon race back, he would definitely go and see Miko. Jack and Raf too as a bonus. The three are absolute gems with the ancient race of hunters, and they're curious beyond belief about them.

King would probably smell the stubborn, lingering scent of their organic past, or the fact the three are technically products of Unicron and could possibly some aspects of Dark Energon in their fuel-lines, however small that may be.

Not that he'd care, anyway. The three are honoree hatchlings to him.

Jesus Christ how many honorary caretakers are these kids hoarding--

It is certainly a way of phrasing but, yes, to all Cybertronians, Autobot, Decepticon,Insecticon and even Predacon, there is a lingering...otherness, to these three.

They can tell there is something somewhat divine in nature about them but not entirely sure if it's because of Optimus being their caretaker.

Of course, if anyone heard they were human souls reincarnated by Primus well...not sure if they'd be believed.

They wouldn't carry the scent of Unicron persay, more so that they aren't...fully Cybertronian in a sense. They're something entirely new.

When King does perhaps discover be it Predacons who were in hiding, perhaps experiments from Shockwave who'd survived, or others created by him, his brothers renwed, whatever have you, he at the very least and unexpectedly actually first came to Ratchet.

Thanking the medic for at the very least, allowing him to know the truth of who had caused the extinction of his would be family on Earth, he offered a life debt to him.

One that would extend to the sparklings, when he noted during his own medical examination, how the young ones were curious about himself and would try and help Ratchet with his checkup.

Like young pups they were, eager to please.

He wasn't warm to them immediately but...noting how fond Ratchet was of them, and thankful for the medic at the very least, he vowed to protect them, should they ever be in danger in his territory.

#transformers #maccadam #maccadams #transformers prime #tfp #tf prime #tf rid 2015 #tf rid15 #nova writings #Reborn Spark AU #TFP: TIMESKIP | RID15 AU

19 notes · View notes

callsign-relic · 4 days

Note

Okay blow job anon again-

Now i’m just thinking about the cultural and linguistic differences that would happen with your mechanical schnookums!

Like a human saying “jesus fuck!” When theyre upset and their cybertronian other half thinking theyre saying “geez us fuck!” And is like “why are you bringing me into this???”

Or the saying “that really grind my gears” sounding more sexual to your hunky cyber babe. I also think it’d be fun to sit down with maybe Ultra Magnus or Swerve and try to explain Freud and his fuck-all theories

Omg I can’t believe “blow job anon” is how you introduced yourself DHHDHDD (I don’t blame you though HAHA)

Oh my god those are great though 😭 saying “that grinds my gears” and the bot being like “you can grind my gears whenever you want~” and the human tries not to die then and there HAHAH

#relic answers #valveplug

18 notes · View notes

quetzalpapalotl · 10 months

Text

At the very least, the ending of Optimus Prime/Unicron is poetically beautiful. Optimus is a Jesus-like figure in that he is dying for Cybertronian sins, as in, Unicron is explicitly a machine of retribution for Cybertronian sins who has come to kill them all. The question of if they evern deserve to be saved is brought up, after all, Cybertronians are trapped in a cycle of violence and trap everything they touch in it.

So Optimus dies to redeem them, so people can keep living and have a better future, so the generations to come aren't burdened by this. Except, unlike a straighforward Jesus figure, Optimus embodies Cybertronian sins as much as Unicron himself. He dies and buries the legacy of the Primes with him so people can move on. Not to end faith like Shockwave wanted, but so that people can be masters of their own faith.

And Arcee doesn't go to the funeral. She doesn't need to bury Optimus because she has seen what this all was from the beginning, she was there. She also embodies Cybertronian sins, but she believed that they could be better and she was right. So she gets to live and teach the new generations to not be like them. Optimus' final speech is delivered through her, and in her story (unlike the ones Alpha Trion told) she portrays him as he was. It was a story of trying and there is worth in what he did right and what he did wrong.

#it all rhymes #i like that #quetzal rambles tf

21 notes · View notes

felixdragonheartofficial · 5 months

Text

I saw someone have a mental breakdown or something idk

Bruh

Omg

do people not grasp that cybertronians don't have the same lifecycle that humans do?

Or are they just ignorant on purpose?

Cybertronians come forth from the all spark already fully physically formed.

Sure they may be a little naive about how some things work, but each cybertronian is born with the knowledge of their name,and their vehicle mode already in mind.

Bumblebee is not fresh out of the allspark like everybody acts he is.

I get hating the blitzbee ship because that's a dusty old ass (nazi) fighter jet x a favorite character who is implied to be younger than the oldest fart on the team(everybody is younger than ratchet) but oh my fucking god

Oh my fucking god dude

Holy shit

If I see one more mf infantilizing a high energy character cuz "adults are supposed to be miserable and emo" or some shit, I'm going to beat the absolute shit out of my pillows

It's not like either bulkhead or bumblebee act like stupid little 8 year olds smearing shit on the walls

They don't act like teenagers either wtf

These mfs literally got expelled from robot college and you guys wanna act like they're uwu-softboy-fragile fucking lobotomy victims

Ffs

I get shipping the both of them with older characters is generally uncomfortable, but stop acting like bumblebee doesn't have his own agency Jesus fucking Christ.

#tfa #decepticons #autobots

13 notes · View notes

i-mean-technically · 1 year

Note

re: Cybertronians and Earth deities colliding, what d’you think would happen if a bunch of kooky humans started to worship Cybertronians (in general, or like, maybe just Optimus specifically), like how there are people who put down ‘Jedi’ as their religion on censuses. would the Cybs getting worshipped suddenly find themselves reaping the benefits, but also bound by the rules, of a belief system that’s entirely foreign to them?

Ohhhhhh now that's interesting.

See, I think of our mythology as being powered by belief. Its a powerful thing right?

People go to war over it all the time.

So you're saying "what if Cybertronians are worshipped as gods and are now bound by what the humans believe them capable of"

These leaves. So much up in the air.

And if its Optimus????

Robo-Jesus himself????

He's already literally the Chosen One of a sleeping dead god. Why not add the Chaotic power of belief that humans are capable of on top.

Mmm. It would start slow at first. Probably with children tbh

It would spread to the other Cybertronians eventually but we're gonna focus on Optimus for a bit.

So. Optimus saves a bunch of kids from Decepticons. And those kids were told that they had a guardian angel watching over them who would always protect them.

Optimus delivered.

Angels are supposed to be unfathomable? Optimus is huge, with glowing eyes and biolights covering his frame. There's smoke in the air and fires everywhere, massive flashes of light warping his shape. His voice is like thunder, echoing around them, and his steps shake the ground.

Clearly he's an angel, and, more specifically, he's their angel.

And the belief of a child is a potent thing indeed.

Add that with the Mateix of Leadership, a mystical connection to the Past Primes, a direct link to a literaly deity, and there is something very strange and very interesting happening.

We're sister races, humans and Cybertronians.

One born from Harmony, and the other from the seeds of Chaos.

One cannot live without the other.

As Optimus soon finds out.

#transformers #transformers prime #maccadam #tfp #tfp optimus #optimus prime #gods among us #i guess i have a new au #hey an ask!#you got me interested now #lmao sorry i kinda went on a rant and ran with it

52 notes · View notes

cartoonslovers · 1 year

Text

Besides G.H.O.S.T being predictably evil, not trusting at all and highly likely to betrayed/mind control the autobots In the future. .

I love season two of Earthspark. I didn't expect Nightshade to be into science and technology but I am into it. Also I just freaking love this scene

Nightshade meeting a fellow Nonbinary person was just so sweet and beautiful

I kind of wished that they would of dive deeper into Megatron's backstory before he join Optimus's side and when he was still a decepticon. You know like actually see him do some mess up stuff (yes I know it's a kid show but at least throw in a flashback of him bowing up a building or something )

But what was there was still amazing and I love every second of it. Megarton not knowing weather the all spark got destroyed along with the Space bridge or if Cyberton is even still alive along with everyone on it and him seeing the Terrans as the last hope for the future of Cybertronians Its some deep shit. I love it

Sadly I feel like this show isn't on the deeply flawed Optimus prime who become a anti villain in the future due to circumstances route but instead they are going on the Optimus blindly trust a evil organization and he just another one of G.H.O.S.T Pawn in their plans route...I may be wrong.. I hope I am wrong.. because I really want this Optimus to be a bit more morally grey and be fully aware of all of G.h.O.S.T secrets.. I want Optimus to be the one in control not G.H.O.S.T since I feel like that will be a more interesting dynamic than navie Optimus and evil G.H.O.S.T.

Speaking of Optimus it's strange that he haven't appear that much besides that one flashback of him destroying the Space bridge. Like where is he.

One last note: to so funny to me that Shockwave was just offline inside of that cave lab for years only to come out of it like he was Jesus or something and only for him to get frozen. I also like where they are heading with the decepticons with them not being pure evil. With both Breakdown and Tarantulas distracting Ghost so the other could get away. Showing how Tarantulas just want to be free from hiding and his actions as terrible as they were in the end was just him just trying to protect Nightshade from what he thought what was a threat.

I rate this season a 10/10 good as the last season and along if it keep going like this without no unnecessary plot twist: (*glares at Knockout secretly being that teacher*) . This show would be the best of transformers franchise at least in my opinion . Sorry animated

#tfe mandroid #tfe optimus prime #tfe megatron #tfe tarantulas #tfe breakdown #tfe nightshade #tfe

28 notes · View notes

dont-kill-your-double · 10 months

Text

Who Are the Better Pair?

OPTIMUS PRIME AND NEMESIS PRIME PROPAGANDA/EXPLANATION

Optimus Prime is a Cybertronian (Alien robot) equivalent of Jesus who is trying to protect humanity from his exe (Megatron) while also dealing with three human children who accidentally learned of his kinds existence. He is calm, kind, and will fight for what he believes in. He also does not know what a kilt is. Nemesis Prime is a robot made by a man named Silas who wishes to play God and become like the Cybertronians. He wants to, of course, establish a new world order. He created Nemesis Prime to impersonate Optimus Prime so the government would try to destroy Optimus and his team. His plan failed and he was "Killed" by his creation falling on him.

LIVE1967 AND DIE 1967 PROPAGANDA/EXPLANATION

It's funny

#transformers #round one

12 notes · View notes

witchofthesouls · 6 months

Note

So, uh, this little memory just suddenly popped up out of no where and I figured it would serve as good(?) ‘world-building’ material.

So, when I was in my private all-girls Catholic high school (that’s how you know it’s going to be a good story) girls would soak their tampons with vodka to get drunk. Some where more successful than others, but some where also less fortunate when their near fatal encounter of alcohol poisoning and nasty-ass vaginal infections where known throughout school.

My question is; do cybertronians have a similar method of madness like the vodka tampons?

And my second question; did Cybertronian’s have their own version of an all girls catholic school? And if they do, what kind of crazy shit went on there?

I can tell you so much about the crazy shit that went on there; the illegal gambling ring, the bi-curious and lesbi-curious girls who were convinced that they liked/loved another girl and stalked the poor girl, some of the shady male teachers, the secret LGBTQ+ club (which was actually kind of wholesome and I was apart of), the bullying (sweet Jesus was there a lot of bullying and harassment), some nuns were Grade A+ assholes who would wack our hands with rulers and have affairs with some of the male teachers, and there’s was a…uh,…secret orgy/cunnilingus club too.

It was the nineties, what would you expect?

Oh wow. I heard of things in private, religious schools from a friend, but hot damn that's wild!

I did go to a religious university. They had a weekly chapel where classes were suspended and all students were required to attend. I did start a tiny alcohol ring in the dorms. Nothing nefarious or crazy binging, just enough in plastic bottles to use in cooking or sipping for a secret meat meal in the rooms. I came from a time when weed was still illegal, but damn I never thought it would prepare me for smuggling meats into a strictly vegetarian campus.

So going back to the questions:

Cybertronians do have alcoholic goodies for popular sex play. Unlike humans, their reproductive system is a closed loop circulatory-wise, and they don't need to worry about poisoning themselves. But for an experience similar to humans doing stupid things for that drunk-high is the equivalent of a wine enema into their afts. That's because their "asshole" is actually a medical port that has components connected to their pelvis structures; meaning, they can get off really well with that alcoholic enema. Yeah, you don't need to be an expert in alien biology to understand that pouring drugs into a hole that's connected to your nervous system can be a stupid bad idea.

Get ready for a lot of worldbuilding:

Education on Cybertronian is severely restricted to caste due to edicts based on Functionism where frame dictates function in society. Some city-states like Vos and Tarn get away with public schooling by citing it as a necessity component of their citizenship and to the benefit of Cybertron as a whole. Vos stylizes their system as a military academy since Seekers are typically slotted into such hierarchies and citizens are drafted into the Air Force during wartime; whereas Tarn is famous for its factories and mines. Sparkling armature is too fragile for the unstable environment, so keeps the workforce much more docile that the bits too big for the holds are kept away and provides leverage as a union-busting technique. Accidents happen.

There are the old traditions of apprenticeships and mentorships for mecha that catch the attention of a well-established professional. Each decade, the number dwindles as more fees are added such practices, such as "alt-mode exemption for education" and "Form Ed-98A-3432d: Exemption to mentor a student two castes below."

Higher education typically functions as private entities with very high-stakes testing. If a student fails to pass progress exams to move to the next module, then it's game over. There's no retakes or repeats or any sort of second chance. They're permanently expelled from completing education within the city-state.

Because of this, coercion is a common phenomenon, especially to snap up specific connections or talented individuals under the school's domains or their related patrons. Skill was the means of trade among the faculty and students as well as the ability to cultivate it. Money could be both everything and nothing within these facilities; it was as meaningful as the parties in agreement made it. This was a strange world compared to what was outside the walls as it blended all the castes and frames and cultures and reduced it to what a person could bring to a table via their own hands or their future. Make no mistake, it wasn't a utopia. It was a cutthroat arena with deep tensions that were mitigated by the faculty and student council as they all battle to polish diamonds from the rough, force people into cohorts, and seal alliances. If done right, a low-caste sponsered can be taken care of for the rest of their lives or die back on the streets with nothing.

Ratchet managed to get away with his old clinic doing illegal free services by utilizing this strange culture. The relationships he cultivated with his old mentor's ties into their own university as well as Ratchet’s own ties via teaching will cover his tracks and provide some funding as long as he takes in "chosen" medical apprentices to train in such conditions and documents the long-term effects of poverty at those sunless levels. Ratchet was only able to trace a few of his benefactors in his project, Senator Shockwave and Counciler Alpha Trion.

Because it was a different world with so much on and off the books, the really secretive clubs would be the "heretics" with worship to certain Primes, Titans, or Unicron, sex clubs that cater to xeno-related kinks, and those with dysmorphic frames, either by force or assigned (cold construction, lab-grown sentio metallico, or noncon frame overhaul), trying to find themselves without anything set on legal paperwork.

(Knockout took advantage of that.)

#ask #transformers #transformers prime #tfp #ratchet #cybertronian culture #cybertronian biology #maccadam #my thoughts #my writing #i like to think knock out was a flyer and switched to a car #all based on that comment from starscream about “self-respecting Decepticons” and purposely choosing

33 notes · View notes

transingthoseformers · 9 months

Note

Possibly controversial opinion ahead?

In contrast to IDW and TFP, I don't think TFA Cons came from the oppressed. So I don't think Megatron was ever a miner. Possibly a gladiator, but that was something he would've wanted to do. Just for fun, basically.

I like the idea of the transformers being created as a servant race, with the Autobots intended to fulfil non-war duties, and the Decepticons were made for war.

... I guess if I were to make a comparison, I'd compare it to modern humans and neanderthals? Can interbreed and create fertile offspring, but not the same species.

Okay I've got my own opinions about the definition of species because of the fertile offspring detail, but I'm gonna shut the fuck up about that because that's nitpicky nitpicky taxonomy politics because science is full of debate bullshit like that especially the world of evolutionary biology

Buuuut that's me going on a tangent, I'm legit gonna just say I don't think they're separate species: I think they're at most subspecies of C. cybertronii, but at least different frametypes. But that's me being petty and going biology brain. Considering how inherently morphologically dynamic cybertronians are in every continuity, it'd take a lot for me to outright say they're different species. Especially with the fact that they occupied the same place at the same time with no population separation we usually see happen in cases like this, and there's a wide enough middle ground that we see in canon with the divide possibly being mostly artificial and— okay I'm getting off track

What I was gonna say was because I haven't read much of the canon lore on TFA from the Allspark Almanac, because rn we're poor as hell and barely making groceries I can't afford a rare book online and Jesus fucking Christ that's. That there are some numbers. Goddamn. Goddamnnnnnn.

Anyway what I was gonna say is that I'm not educated on TFA lore enough but have there been indications that stuff was off before the war? I mean shit was definitely fucked by the time the end of the war followed, because I'm thinking quite a lot of the autobots in TFA in the present timeline are xenophobic. Not the majority, mind you, perhaps a loud minority, but from what I can see most of the autobots were apathetic to whether they were accepting of non-autobot entities because they just hadn't had any exposure to them so they had no reason to think about it. Sure maybe my example of Cybertron is tainted because when we see Isaac and Ratty go there shit was going belly up fast because of Sentinel Prime being in charge.

Basically: I don't have enough information to determine whether warframes were oppressed before the war or not, most of the tfa noncanon works tend more towards the oppressed angle but idk if that's them drawing off of canon or off of the other continuities to make up for the limited pre-war information we get in transformers animated

#controversial opinion #but not from me #maccadam #transformers #basically i do not have enough information on the subject to properly formulate an opinion #as tfa is not my main continuity and it's on purpose we don't get a lot of pre-war information in the show #trigger warning: taxonomy #that's the tag i use for speculative biology involving taxomomy because i go on long rants like that #tf worldbuilding?#transformers animated #okay I'm 100% adding a ko-fi to this blog once i puzzle out how to get a bank account and adult correctly

10 notes · View notes

hcmteam · 9 months

Note

Here comes your boy! He's speeding in and drifting to a stop.

"Where the hell have you been!?"

“ JESUS- “

— Despite having this friendship with an alien robot from light years away from earth, he still gets startled whenever Mirage pops up in the most energetic and ridiculous of ways. Noah quickly turned to meet glances at the cybertronian and as usual, lightly scold him.

“ I was trying to get some new tools! It’s not like I took a decade out there. “

#( 𝒊𝒄. )#( 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒔𝒌. )#123mirage #* and so it begins…. MWHAHAHAHA

7 notes · View notes

virovirokun-has-adhd · 3 months

Text

Hollow Shell of a Man

"Oh if only there were words to describe how disappointed I am in you"

[ABOUT]

Names ::

-> Viro [Virovirokun]

-> Fizz [Fizzarolli]

-> Alice

-> Archie

& more

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

he / xem / they / vi / ren / it

transmasc , genderfluid , catboy , luniboy , demiboy , cybrgender

lesboy , demi , a-spec , qplatonic , aesthetic attraction , ambiamorous

[#flags 4 me tag] \\ [gender & tertiary attraction] \\ [pronouns.page]

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

ADHDer + minor sensory issues

-! taken & in a polycule !-

-! w/ @mayday-mayd4y & Malware @m0memto-mori <3 !-

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[LINKS]

Discord Servers Masterlist

Tags <- (outdated)

FIXATIONS , DNI & MORE UNDER THE CUT

[FIXATIONS]

=ordered by how intensely I'm fixated=

Transformers

Steven Universe

RotTMNT

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[DNI]

anti any of my fixations

queerphobic / exclusionary towards any of my identities

-- (including polyamory , ace/aro , mspec identities , lesboy & xenogenders)

ableist

proship/comship / pedos / tcest

disrespectful to others' beliefs

zionist / neo nazi / racist

dsmp stans / apologists / "kinnies" (cc&c!) [genuine system kinnies are fine] / ect. *

anti system / plural & anti endogenic system

anti kink

-- (this isnt just u thinking some kinks are gross this is genuine lowkey kink-shaming with no respect or regard for the kink haver's feelings)

nsfw/porn blogs

-- (unless i follow you first ig)

-- (i'm kinda sticky on these grounds, but im ok with valveplug)

*(for clarification idc if you still watch old dsmp creators' content (other than dream ofc bash that pedo's skull in) idc, i still watch Ranboo & stuff so as long as you're not trying to apologise for their wrongdoings / saying they've done nothing wrong, you can interact. Additionally if you support Dream or Wilbur for their wrongdoings stay the fuck off my blog and do not fucking interact. We support Shelby/Shubble here whole heartedly)

[OTHER]

I occasionally use Cybertronian terms or slang in my everyday speech, whether its referencing a body part

- (helm=head, processor=brain, servo=hand, optics=eyes)

- or to replace swearing (frag=fuck, scrap=shit/crap)

- or just talking about Primus in the place of Jesus/God or whatever

I oftentimes struggle with tone in text so tonetags are immensely helpful :D

I meow a lot, I sometimes refer to "cat brain" when my brain stops working like a human's brain should and I forget things

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[HOUSEKEEPING]

=just some general rules i have=

Don't DM/PM me out of the blue. (duhh)

Don't send hatemail or things you know/think might trigger me.

Don't do the above to any of my moots/friends/partners either, if you do this you will be blocked as soon as I find out what you've done.

Stay in your lane, don't interfere with conversations / rb threads that's just common sense.

If I didn't reference you directly then I am very most likely not talking about you.

I only roleplay with people I'm closest to. (usually my partners)

Be kind obviously

[SIDEBLOGS]

@sona-ask-blog - Self explanatory [WIP]

@kingalice-not-so-villain-au - Sona AU with my good friend @bananabiskit

Old Pinned Post =]

================================================

IMAGE BRACKET

#viro pinned post #lgbtqia+#viro selfpromo #viro's discord servers #discord server masterlist #Transformers #RotTMNT #dni ableists #dni proship #dni anti endos #endo safe

4 notes · View notes

cleverthylacine · 1 year

Text

Thoughts non-Christian Transformers fans might be having this time of year...

You are allowed to write whatever self-indulgent bullshit you want, because that is what fanfic is for, but if you want to make your “Transformers doing Christmas” fics 5000% less annoying to grumpy non-Christians, here are some thoughts on how they would be less annoying to me, personally.

1. Transformers are aliens. They have their own religions. It would be very, very odd for Transformers to care about Jesus. It’s fine if OP puts tinsel in his windows because all the other trucks are doing it, lol, but I’m talking about TFs actually celebrating Christmas in any serious kind of way.

2. If the Autobots who are living on Earth pick up human customs as an excuse to have a party, let them be hilariously ignorant about it. Despite being the Designated Good Guys in all non-Shattered Glass continuities (except possibly Earthspark), they are just as prone to being colonialist and ethnocentric as the Decepticons. Let them be embarrassing and offensive as well as cute. I’m thinking about the level of cringe involved in Christian attempts to throw Passover Seders with no actual Jews involved, or the Japanese department store that crucified Santa in a shop window.

3. In continuities like TFA, TFP and IDW, Decepticons are have experienced the way religion is and can be used to support and spread systems of oppression, because the Primacy has used it against them that way. If they bother to pay attention to human holidays, they’re going to recognise Christianity as a religion that is frequently used this way.

4. Decepticons are not out to destroy all organic life in every continuity, but they are usually ethnocentric and frequently colonialist. Their opinions of humans vary from “unimpressed” to “annoying Autobot allies” to “gross but it’s funny when they pop” to “organics always create mechanoid life and oppress it, and we have to stop them before they get there” and you even get the occasional “If form and function don’t matter, why should we care whether people are organic or not” Decepticon, but those last ones are a minority and they know it. They’re unlikely to adopt human holidays.

5. I do love IDW Starscream’s appropriation of Christmas customs because a) he made it all about himself because he’s Starscream and b) in his post-Decepticon life as Emperor of Cybertron he IS trying to find ways to subvert the mess that is Cybertronian culture in order to consolidate power. That is one example of Doing It Right (tm).

6. Consider characterisation.

6a. Ratchet is often a militant atheist.

6b. Soundwave is usually a militant atheist. In IDW he’s also a master of inciting and manipulating class warfare and he would recognise what evangelicals are doing in American culture from a distance meaasurable in parsecs.

6b1. There is no canonical evidence that Soundwave’s deployers are pets or children except one IDW panel where Starscream makes a sarcastic comment, despite it being IDW canon that Ravage saved Soundwave’s life and helped him learn to manage his disabilities. There is no evidence that they are anything other than adult Cybertronians. Ravage has been with him so long that some people (like me) ship them.

Rumble and Frenzy act like kids in fanon, but in canon they act like gross army boys (affectionate) who like to blow things up and pull pranks for fun and are no more children than Tailgate is. The beastformers are not animals except in Cyberverse, where Laserbeak and Buzzsaw are trained sentient but probably not fully sapient trained birds and “cat” and “wolf” are just alt modes some mechs happen to have instead of “car” and “aeroplane”.

6b2. Soundwave playing Santa to his deployers as if they were children and/or pets personally makes me nauseous.

#TF Christmas #jewish tf fan problems #soundwave is not actually everyone's dad #I want to see the Autobots try Christmas and fuck up spectacularly tbh #write that and I'll love you forever

22 notes · View notes