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#like ones a tilted half moon and ones like fully rotated but hello
thatssroughbuddy · 4 months
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Y’all I have two points on a conspiracy theory board and I’m dangerously close to connecting them
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This is Katara in Book 1 after they go ice dodging and she gets the “mark of the brave”
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This is Katara in Book 3 as The Painted Lady (ecoterrorist queen)
I know the marks are slightly different but. When she got her mark in Book 1 it was painted on her, and in Book 3 she painted it on herself. I think there’s something to be said about how she could have thought the mark in Book 1 was more similar to her application bc she never actually saw it, only felt it being applied. Do we think there’s a connection here??
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Hypothetically,
Ao3,   MasterPost
Relationships: Romantic Intrulogical, Platonic Logince
It is about! Damn! Time! That I wrote some Intrulogical! Also, y’all already know my stance on platonic logince,,,, guys they ARE best friends i’m sorry I don’t make the rules.
Warnings: Angst (with a happy ending). mentions of stuff like autopsies and nuclear explosions in the context of like experiments- they do stuff in The Imagination, basically. Panic attack (?). Hurt/comfort. Pretty heated kissing; It’s more intense makin’ out than I usually write but it isn’t anything explicit at all, don’t worry! ADHD Remus and Autistic Logan. Cursing- like So Much Cursing. Mentions of space, deep sea, etc. Food mention.
Word count: 6,769
There was a conundrum. 
A., Logan needed to use the Imagination. B., He could not use it on his own, considering that he was Logic. C., Roman was nowhere to be found. The answer to what was frustrating Logan at that moment would be all of the above.
To be clear, he didn’t like going into the Imagination. It was simply the only suitable place to perform his ‘experiments’. His very necessary, very distracting experiments. But, as stated, Roman was God-knows-where doing God-knows-what. 
Logan sighed at the door, as though it was the inanimate structure’s fault. The cracks gleamed obnoxiously bright, golden light pouring out from behind the door in a somewhat eerie manner. It was a nonsensical, unrealistic, completely insignificant place, and he wanted in.
Logan was contemplating asking Janus for help (lies took imagination, right?) when, out of nowhere, an arm was thrown around his shoulders. Literally an arm, disembodied and oozing sick-smelling blood onto the carpet. Ah. Wonderful. 
“Hello, Remus,” he pulled the appendage from around him, holding it at arm’s length (no pun intended, dammit). 
“Hi!” Remus took his arm back and reattached it with a disturbing crunch, a grin stretching his face. He sidled up to Logan, imitating the side’s stance in front of the door. 
“Can I help you with something?” the logical trait tilted his shoulder away from where Remus had pressed against him. 
“Not unless you’re willing to get really messy- but I can help you!”
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re implying.”
The Duke rolled his eyes, promptly flinging the door to The Imagination open. An encompassing energy radiated into the common room, corrupting the usual neutrality of the space. It didn't last long before Remus grabbed Logan’s wrist and dragged him along through the entryway, movements as sporadic and fast-paced as everything else about the creative.
“It’s not very logical to just stand there staring at the door all day, in my opinion. I dunno what you need Imagination for, but whatever it is, I can help! My half is much more interesting, anyway.”
“Oh,” Logan blinked, narrowly ducking his head under a branch as he was pulled forward, “Thank you, I suppose.”
He politely didn’t mention that he doubted Remus’ capacity for helpfulness. Beggars can’t be choosers, after all. 
The door from the commons was quite a walk from the darker half of The Imagination, but at the pace its owner had them going they were there in minutes. The border was marked with tangles of densely thorned shrubbery, which parted for them, as if they sensed the approach. Logan just barely avoided snagging his shoe on one as they passed.
There was forest, twisted and shadowy, for only a minute. After that, they were in a city, with tall buildings and winding streets and dark alleys. Another switch, they came into what seemed like an amusement park. Nothing was consistent in theme, and none of the scenes held up for more than a minute or two. Remus shook his head and tisked. With a snap, a good portion of the ever-changing scenery was erased, leaving blank white space. The Duke turned to look at Logan with a satisfied smile. 
“Ta-da! What do you need?” 
Logan blanched for a moment, surprised at Remus’ willingness to completely delete Imaginings without a second thought. It usually took Roman ages to find a spot that he was okay with giving up on for Logan’s “projects”- which he always had thought was a little silly, seeing as he could bring it back when they were done. The change of pace was a pleasant one, though, so there was no need to dawdle for long. 
“I need a miniature fully-functioning model of our solar system. If it’s not too much trouble.”
“Oh, totally,” Remus waved his hand and the request appeared suspended in the air, spread out to be the size of a dining table. All was accounted for- sun, moons, eight planets plus pluto- orbiting and spinning around each other. Imagination, by nature, had no real limits, but the detail was still a sight to behold every time. Logic smiled, surveying the set-up, before gesturing to the edge of their blank section.
“Thank you for the help, you may go.”
“May I now?” Remus conjured a seat for himself, staring at Logan with his chin resting on his hands, “You’re not even going to tell me what this is for? That’s just rude.”
Logan glanced up from the tiny earth he was inspecting, tilting his head to the side in confusion.
“You are welcome to stay, if you wish, but your brother usually leaves at this point. He says my experiments are-” he summons his notebook, “‘Bore-ifying’, which I assume is a portmanteau for ‘boring’ and ‘horrifying’.” 
“Roman’s a big baby!”
Logan shrugged, not disagreeing, and resumed his careful observation of the tiny model earth. Remus made no move to go, wheeling his chair even closer. The scientific side carried on before his new audience of one, hovering a hand over the little planet. Abruptly, it stopped spinning. Logan made a gesture with his hand that magnified the model significantly. 
The results were immediately catastrophic. Logan jotted a few observations down in his notebook, watching closely at the ways torrents of wind ripped up trees and buildings. In the back of his mind, he was faintly impressed by just how well-rendered ‘Dark’ Creativity’s earth was, down to the individual humans, brutalized by the storms. 
“Whoah, what the fuck?!” 
Logan looked up briefly to see Remus craning his head over the destruction of the stilled planet. His eyes were wide and bright with curiosity.
“Oh- I should probably explain. I come here, usually, to run some improbable scenarios as a sort of stress-reliever. Specifically, this one is what would happen if earth stopped spinning on its axis. As you can see, due to the earth no longer rotating at its usual speed, the wind would continue on at-” he cut himself off abruptly, sensing the beginnings of a ramble, “I’m sorry, I’ve been told that I have a tendency to ‘go off’ when a subject particularly interests me.”
Remus rolled his chair even closer, looking much like an excited animal (more so than usual, anyway).
“Well then, go off! Don’t leave me hanging! Is that really what would happen, just if it stopped?” He gestured enthusiastically to the way that the oceans had begun to crash against and consume shorelines. He looked interested- genuinely interested. 
Logan bit back a smile. He didn’t have to be told twice. 
 It was one of those particularly restless nights. For no foreseeable goddamn reason, Logic’s mind had become alight with enough half-formed thoughts and barely sensible ideas to fill a very, very weird book. The Imagination did wonders when he got like this, but it usually wasn’t two in the morning when he needed to use it. That wasn’t to say the circumstance was unheard of, but all times prior he could push the urge to investigate away with the reasoning that he could just ask Roman in the morning, and that the Creative side needed his ‘beauty sleep’, as he called it. There wasn’t anything he could do about that, was there?
Tonight was different. Logan could hear the occasional snap or tear or cackle from the room across from his. Remus’ room. 
It had been less than a week since The Duke let him use the darker half of the Mindpalace, and that was pretty much the only meaningful interaction they’d had in as many days. They weren’t close, Logan wasn’t even sure if they were friends (not that he was a good judge of that, given the first time Roman referred to them as ‘besties’ he had all but cried), but Remus was at the very least an option. He was also unlikely to mind, given that he was already awake and had exhibited excitement previously. 
Logan made up his mind after yet again failing to fall asleep. Quietly, he opened his door and took the few short steps across the hall, raising his fist. Remus’ door was open before his second knock. 
“Oh, hey! What are you doing, coming knocking at this hour?” he didn’t even try to whisper, accompanying his statement with an over-exaggerated wink. Logan didn’t waste his time trying to shush the side. 
“Good evening, I hope I’m not interrupting anything-”
“You know I don’t mind your ‘interruptions’, Twunk-y Megamind!”
“-But I was wondering if you would… Help me, again. I seem to be having a hard time getting to sleep, and I think that getting out some of my ideas could help.”
Remus’ face lit up dramatically. 
“Oh hell yes! Are we gonna blow up more planets?”
“Something like that,” he kept his voice monotone, disguising the relief and hint of pride at such a positive reaction. 
“Well, come on!”
Logan let himself be dragged into Remus’ room, barely having time to make note of the surprisingly organized layout before he was pulled through a sleek black door. 
“But you have to tell me about it,” he ordered, twisting them through narrow paths in his half of The Imagination. Logan suppressed a smile. 
“If you want to hear it, then I’m happy to.” 
Without warning, they stopped the breakneck pace that Remus moved at. The trait seemed appeased with their surroundings, though as far as Logan could tell it was just another piece of ever-shifting ominous landscape. 
Remus snapped his fingers. The scene remained intact. 
“Sorry,” he glanced around nervously, “Things get stuck in my head sometimes. Can’t get ‘em out. I’ll get it, I just-”
“It’s no trouble.” 
Logan rolled up his sleeves. He didn’t like using his ‘abilities’ much, as every side had some set of special skills, and all of them were much too ostentatious. But they were helpful, at times. He waved a hand, gesturing carefully so that he didn’t dismantle any more of The Imagination than was absolutely necessary. With a small stutter, the landscape shifted to a blank slate.
When he looked back up, Remus’ expression was not unlike that of a Cheshire cat.
“What was that?”
“I am Logic, therefore it follows that I am the antithesis to any Imagination creations. It’s very easy to erase them with just a bit of rationality.” 
“No clue what a lot of those words meant, but it’s still cool that you can destroy shit.”
Laughing was unbecoming, to say the least, and so the logical trait tended to avoid it at all costs. The snort that escaped him was entirely involuntary. 
If Remus noticed the noise, he said nothing about it. He was too busy bouncing from foot to foot, expectantly waiting for instructions. Logan cleared his throat of the outburst and clapped his hands together.
“Alright, let’s start with something simple…”
 At his request, Remus would construct immaculately detailed creatures, settings, and models, watching gleefully at the ordeals Logan put each one through. They tested various and progressively elaborate ways to sink populated cruise liners, they simulated the effects of falling from the Empire State Building, dissected approximations of obscure marine animals (a shared special interest of theirs, apparently), and any of the other unrealistic questions that occurred to the typically rational Logic. 
The only way to get such questions from his mind, he’d found out a long time ago, was deconstructing them one step at a time, to see them in their full ridiculousness. 
It was also, he was coming to realize, incredibly fun. 
Before the two knew it, the already late hour had turned unreasonable. Logan blinked owlishly at his watch, distracted from the tiny supernova that he’d created.
“Oh, I must have lost track of time,” four in the morning. Four in the morning! 
“Aw, does that mean we’re done?” Remus whined, yet he still began unmaking his small star system. 
Logan was suddenly very aware of the heaviness of his eyelids and a rubbery feeling in his limbs. God, was he tired. 
“I’m afraid so. I really should’ve gone to sleep hours ago.”
“Fine,” Remus dragged the word out with a groan, “But let me know next time you wanna fuck with space, or deep sea stuff, or anything like that.”
Next time. 
As much as Logan adored Roman, there was something very nice about having the more grim brother help him out with these experiments. For one, his creations were often much more accurate to the real world- likely because gore and destruction were that much more impactful when they were realistic. For two, he actually seemed to enjoy the work. 
Logan’s deliberation was brief. 
“I will.”
 As it happened, the night spent delving into dozens of ideas had purged Logan’s need to use The Imagination, for the time being. Clearly, Remus was not patient enough to wait for him.
He popped up, unannounced, in Logic’s room.
“Lo!!!”
The trait in question fell out of his office chair in a very undignified way. Not that there’s a particularly dignified way to fall out of a chair, but if there was, this definitely wouldn’t have been it. He ‘ate shit’, as the saying goes.
Out of pure embarrassment, Logan made no move to get off the floor.
“Hello, Remus,” he greeted, “How may I help you?”
The Duke laughed raucously, sprawling into the now-unoccupied chair and leaning over him. 
“You’re a riot, Dork,” then, added with glittering eyes, “Did you break anything?”
“No. Given that I am metaphysical, I’m not sure that I have bones.”
“I have bones!”
“Are they your bones?”
“They are bones and they are in my possession, yes.” 
Logan let the subject drop and repeated his first question. 
“Right, I forgot! I have an idea for an experiment!”
Logan thought that, despite his mild humiliation, it would probably benefit the conversation if he wasn’t lying on the ground, so he stopped doing that. Brushing mostly imaginary dust from his clothes, he shot Remus a bemused look.
“That’s nice. But I was asking you why you were here.”
The Duke’s face fell, almost imperceptibly.  
“I thought you’d wanna know, because of what you said last time. Isn’t this, like, a thing we do now? You know how shit works, and I know how to make that shit, and then you can tell me about it!” 
Oh. 
“Remember when you were talking about radiation the other day? You can’t just say stuff like that and then not expect me to want to try it out, so really this is on you. It’d be dumb not to let you in on it.”
Oh. 
He’d been listening to that rant? Moreover, he’d remembered it, and now had his own ideas and follow-up questions about it? 
Logan felt light-headed. 
“You’re probably too busy with work, huh? I guess my explosions don't have to be accurate, if you’re set on being boring,” Remus’ tone was nonchalant, but he was obviously lingering for attention. Logan then remembered that words are a thing, and people use them to communicate.
“No! I mean, yes- I mean, I’m not busy. I can join you, I- I’d like to, even,” the intelligent side heard a small voice in his head, his own miniature Virgil, screaming- what the fuck was that, get it together, Jesus, because he, despite what his fellow sides insisted, was absolutely nonfunctional when trying to form a friendship. 
Remus didn’t seem to notice or care much past his own cheer.
“Cool!” he, yet again, wasted no time in seizing Logan’s arm and yanking him away, “I wanted to see what would happen to animals and plants and stuff bunches of years after lots of radiation! Do you think they’d mutate? Get all twisted and fucked up so that they aren’t even recognizable as, say, a dog?”
Logan considered the question as he was led through the Mindpalace.
“Well, nothing would be able to live there at all. Additionally, anything within a little under a mile of the nuclear fallout- depending on a few variables- would be completely incinerated upon impact.”
“Like, flesh-melting incinerated?” 
“More like vaporized. The fireball would burn 10,000 times the heat of the sun.”
Remus went starry eyed, bringing them to a halt a mere five feet from the door. 
“I wanna see that,” he waved his hands around at their surroundings, “Can you do the white-out thing?” 
Logan, much less hesitant than last time, obliged. A small smile escaped him at the wondrous look on The Duke’s face. It was another form of expression he didn’t particularly care for, but containing his emoting was more trouble than it was worth by now. He couldn’t find it in him to care much either, for once. 
“Where do we start?” Remus prompted.
“You tell me. I will help you make it as accurate as possible, and provide any insight that you want, but it is your idea,” and he wanted to hear more about those ideas. Odd and violent, mesmerizing and clever. There was so much that he wanted to hear about, to talk about, to puzzle out together. 
Logan couldn’t remember the last time he’d had someone to share such interests with. Maybe, despite how deeply he cared for his ‘family’, as Patton called them- maybe it was never.
Remus chattered as he worked, disrupting the train of thought. Logan almost tuned it out- after all, everyone had grown perfectly used to The Duke’s rambling- but he caught himself. That was hardly how he should treat the side that was so strangely considerate to him, wasn’t it? 
Logan listened from then on. He began to add on to the conversation, corrections and elaborations and actual questions, because he actually didn’t know some of it. He didn’t regret the choice. 
By the end, Remus and Logan were sitting together in the smoldering ruins of their make-believe test town, exchanging notes for different variables they could use in the next trial. They only stopped when Logan was abruptly summoned away by Thomas. He excused himself, a bit apologetic, promising to visit again soon.
As he helped Thomas (with what really should have been a simple task, honestly), Logic wondered briefly about the origins of the hollow feeling that grew in his chest. Something distracted, longing, and unfamiliar. 
And then the oven caught fire, and the only thing he felt was annoyance with the man that he was somehow a component of. 
 So, that was that- Logan and Remus were friends, now spent regular time together, and shared interests. By all accounts, it was a simple and obviously positive development. 
But then there was Roman. 
“What’s wrong with my work? You’d really prefer whatever edgy 12-year-old DeviantArt account nonsense that he thinks up?”
Logan set his book down with a sigh and looked over to his doorway, where Roman stood with his hands on his hips.
“Come in, Roman, and thank you for knocking,” he snarked. The Creative side made a vaguely sassy noise, trotting right in and flopping backwards onto the bed. Without closing the door, the monster.
“I thought that building your Weird Science contraptions was our thing.”
Logan made a show of standing up and manually shutting his door before responding. 
“You don’t like my ‘contraptions’, as you call them.”
“Yeah, but I still made them for you! Because we’re friends, but I suppose you’ve forgotten all about that!” 
He really should have expected the melodrama. And yet, Logan had lived in a delusional world where he didn’t care about the most Extra being on earth.
With an eye roll, Logic dropped down beside Roman on the bed- though he wasn’t half as flamboyant about it. 
“I can have more than one friend.”
“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be your favorite! We’re supposed to hang out together! Do the friendship bracelets I made mean nothing to you?”
He flung his arm across Logan’s chest, a ‘friendship bracelet’ clearly visible on his wrist (a loose usage of the term, given that it was a solid gold band with inlaid sapphires, because of course it was).
Logan held up his arm as well, showing that his (silver with inlaid rubies) was still very much in use, despite his distaste for jewelry.
“We hang out plenty. It wasn’t my intention to hurt your feelings by spending time with your brother. My reason for doing so is that he seems to take active enjoyment in building and learning about these things with me. He also makes very good conversation, in regards to the more, ah, eccentric experiments.”
Roman tossed his head to the side to watch Logan with narrowed eyes. After a pause, he linked their arms at the elbow. 
“Yeah, you would think that. You’re secretly just as much of a weirdo as him.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Oh please, I can barely keep up with a word that either of you say,” Roman headbutted Logan’s shoulder in what was likely another of his odd displays of affection. He let his head rest there for a minute, a rare instance of peace before he inevitably resumed talking. 
“Anyways-”
“Anyway,” Logan corrected.
“Anyways, if you nerds wanna talk about your weird, creepy experiments, then I guess that’s fine. But he isn’t allowed to co-opt anything else that we do together that we both actually like- no making fun of movies together, no Crofters jams, and no poetry-slash-rap battles.”
“Of course not, Roman. You will always be my favorite person to disagree with.”
“Love you, too,” Creativity bumped him again, then sat up to stretch. Logan snorted a laugh and considered shoving Roman off the bed, watching as he raised his arms up and straightened his back. Before the trait had the chance, unfortunately, his friend was already standing. 
“Leaving already? Weren’t you just going on about spending time together?”
“Nah, that was all I wanted to yell at you about for now. I’ve gotta go help Pat with dinner.”
“Well, don’t let me keep you.”
“Thanks, I won’t.”
“I hate you.”
“Ditto.”
Halfway out the door, Roman threw a glance over his shoulder.
“Oh, and whatever you two end up doing, do not give me the details. Please.”
Okay, finally, that really was that. Friendship established, blessings given, the end. A simple symbiosis.
Logan was thinking about the practical uses of medieval torture devices? Remus. He wanted to see exactly how long it would take your average healthy adult to succumb to drowning? Remus. Logan wanted to just rant, about anything and everything, his brain moving a mile a minute? Remus. They spent an inordinate amount of time together. 
Occasionally, when he didn’t even have the energy to converse, he would sit down with a book in the commons when he knew Remus was there and let the trait’s never ending word-vomit wash over him. It was an odd sort of intimacy, but that fit within the theme of their dynamic. Like he said, simple symbiosis. 
And that was when the not-very-platonic fondness grew. And Logan, to his own surprise, allowed it to. 
After deep consideration he had seen no reason not to; Remus wouldn’t judge him, not ever. It put a name to the hollow longing that occurred whenever he, eventually, had to get back to work and part from their talks. 
He hadn’t sorted out what to do about the feeling yet, but he felt no urgency. 
Logan’s book lay forgotten in his lap, that morning being one of the quiet ones as he reflected on his unfamiliar emotions. It was almost nice, letting such affection curl up in his chest and settle there.
His contemplation was broken by a sharp jab to his shoulder.
“Are you listening to me?”
He tilted his head at Remus.
“Sorry, I got distracted.”
“What were you thinking about?” his eyes lit up, very obviously hoping for it to be something disgusting. Logan glanced away, given that he didn’t even like eye-contact in the best of circumstances. 
“Nothing important. You have my attention now.”
Remus rolled his eyes with a huff, apparently genuinely irritated. 
“Well now I forgot what I was saying.”
“Let’s backtrack: what were you talking about before?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s fine, we can talk about something else.”
The irritation had grown to something unrecognizable to Logan- frustrating, given how closely he tried to study body language. He felt a stab of guilt as Remus stood up from his spot.
“It probably didn’t matter. I’m gonna go annoy Janus.”
“Oh,” Logan’s voice was small, “Alright, then.”
He was already gone.
That was… concerning. Not to mention bewildering; Remus didn’t just pass up opportunities to talk! He didn’t just leave, not even when he wasn’t wanted! Logan really hadn’t thought his zoning out would earn such a reaction. 
But he was far from perceptive about emotional problems. There was no way to know if it was anything to throw a fit over. For all he knew, it was just an off-day. He couldn’t always expect his friend to be rambunctious and energetic, even if that was a big part of his personality. 
The issue would likely resolve itself.
 The issue did not do that. It did the polar opposite, speeding from mildly concerning to downright frightening at a whiplash-inducing pace.
Remus barely asked questions and almost never offered insight, as he usually did when they spent time together. In fact, his contributions had become rare and unenthusiastic enough that he could have passed as neurotypical, however disturbing the thought was. And that was when they did end up spending time together, which was becoming less and less often, much to the dismay of one significantly smitten smart side.
Something was very clearly wrong with Remus. Not the demented, destructive, mildly endearing and unhinged sort of wrong. It was the wrong sort of wrong.
Logan was hesitant to confront him outright. After a couple weeks of careful consideration, a more subtle solution occurred to him, as he idly flipped through a very graphic murder-mystery late into the night. Something bloody, and awful, and very much Remus’ taste. He set the novel down, knowing full well that his friend would be wide awake as he made his way across the hall.
“Remus?” he knocked at the side’s door, wearing a smile much wider than he usually liked. He was more than willing to express exuberance, if there was even the slightest chance that it would be infectious.
The door decidedly did not fly open. Rather, after a good deal of wrapping at it, Remus slowly pulled it back and poked his head out.
“Oh. Hey.”
Logan didn't dwell on the concern that reaction brought. He had something that would cheer Creativity up, of that he was sure.
“I have a test tonight- it’s going to be very messy,” he began, searching the impulsive trait’s eyes for any signs of interest. There was the slightest glint, but not much more. 
“So, you want me to make stuff for you?” His speech was monotonous. 
“Yes, that was the idea. It’s going to be gory.”
Hardly a reaction. All Remus did was open the door the rest of the way to allow Logan inside. Clearly, he had underestimated just how poorly his friend felt.
“Alright, I’ll set it up for you. Just don’t take too long, I was actually hoping to use my part of the Mindscape today.”
Logan nodded, very taken aback. He couldn’t ignore the slight hurt at the cold, dismissive tone (the irony of that wasn’t lost on him).
They stepped foot into The Imagination and immediately Remus stopped, destroying whatever had been in front of them- which was usually fine, it was just how he operated, but normally out of enthusiasm, not apathy. Maybe this was more than could be fixed with some blood and guts.
“What do you need?”
Logan conjured a tiny notebook, giving a tentative smile. Still, he was giving this plan a shot.
“Operating table,” one appeared before him, sleek metal with rolly legs, “A standard set of surgical tools,” he looked up to gauge Remus’ interest, but his expression still hadn’t changed as he continued to create, “A human corpse, and then we can get started.”
With a wave, a perfectly generic body fell onto the table, but Logan’s attention remained on The Duke.
“Great, have fun, let me know when you’re finished.”
Logan faltered, watching him turn to leave.
“You- you aren’t going to stay and do this with me?”
“You want me to?” Remus crossed his arms over his chest and fixed Logan with a gaze that could (figuratively) wilt flowers.
“I- Yes? If you aren’t at all interested right now, then I can save this experiment for another day?” Yeah, this wasn’t working, but Logan had no backup.
“No, no, don’t wait for me, you’ve already got everything you need, right?”
“I mean- technically, yes, but it- it wouldn’t be the same.”
Remus cackled, sounding quite like the cartoonish villain that he often acted as. It hurt to listen to.
“So that’s what this is about! Let me just fix you up, then!” 
He snapped, and a blank humanoid form appeared at his side. It tilted its faceless head curiously at Logan, who recoiled.
“Not good enough? Is a hunk of nothing too unrealistic for you?” he snapped again, and the being suddenly transformed to match its creator exactly. 
Nearly exactly: it wore an enthusiastic grin, eyes wide and sparkling, rather than the steadily building fire that raged in real-Remus’ eyes. It spoke in a disgustingly cheery tone.
“Wow, tell me more! Show me that again? What happens when you do that? You’re just so interesting, Lo!” 
Remus watched the creation, a look of one part pride and a million parts resentment.
“Is that what you want? It’s just like me, but without any of the hassle of being another person that you have to deal with! And this one, you really can get rid of whenever you want, isn’t that great?”
Logan looked between the two, a fearful understanding creeping up his spine. There was something he was missing here, wasn’t there?
“No,” he muttered, half to the fake-Duke and half to the real one. 
“No?” Remus spat, circling his mirror, “No, of course, you’re so right. This isn’t nearly enough.”
He made an elaborate gesture, and about a dozen more Creativities appeared, surrounding them. Logan stumbled back from them, nearly tripping on the operating table that they’d previously made. When he looked up, the real Remus was approaching him with an expression that fought its way between guilt and indignation. It was all at once heart-wrenching and frightening. 
Logan tried to right himself, tried to look unaffected and certain of himself, as he raised his voice. He would not let this go a step farther, despite his confusion.
“Stop,” and with that, a wave rocked across The Imagination, and all was erased. In the aftermath he stood before a teary-eyed Remus (just the one, though), uncharacteristically looking like a stiff wind would knock him right over.
“What’s wrong? I gave you what you wanted!”
Logan reeled.
“Why would you think I wanted any of that?” 
“You wanted an experiment, I gave you one! You wanted a willing audience, I gave you twelve! But I guess I just get everything wrong, right?”
“You know that isn’t true,” Logan felt choked, his words clumsy. It was foreign and horrible and disgusting, but he’d trudge through it all if it meant fixing whatever he’d done wrong. It couldn’t have just been him losing focus once? Could it? 
“Oh, of course, I do just enough to be useful. So I’ve got that right; I’m a good utensil. Is it so much to ask that people would care about me, not just what I can do?” he posed a rhetorical oozing with vitriol, but it quickly evaporated into something much more desperate, “What if it’s my fault? It was my idea, I wanted to help. I don’t know why I thought you’d care past all that, did I give you a reason to? I can’t remember. It might make more sense that way, if I were the problem, wouldn’t it?”
Logan was running out of time to fix this, watching Remus curl in on himself, barely keeping from falling to the floor. He had no clue how The Duke had reached the conclusion that he didn’t care about him! They spent nearly all their free time together: sitting next to each other just to have the company, throwing each other tricky and often troubling questions to answer, constantly toiling away at things in The Imagination. Sometimes, they didn’t even need to talk, they just worked together in rapt silence; Remus did the creating and Logan arranged his work just so, and- Wait. Wait. Wait.
Logan didn’t need to talk, or touch, for that matter. Perhaps it was a mistake to presume the same for such a needy, affectionate, boisterous side? 
No, not perhaps, it was a huge mistake. A major fuck-up, if you will. 
He’d thought, if the blunt side had needed such comforts, surely he would initiate it? He hardly shied away from anything, except, well. 
Except. Feelings. 
God, he was the dumbest smart person in the world.
“Oh, Remus…”
The Duke’s head jerked up, continuing his back-and-forth of desperation and rage. 
“I don't need your pity!”
Logan sighed, twisting the end of his tie in frustration. 
“That isn't what I'm offering,” he took a breath before continuing, linking the words together so it would come out right. “I'm so sorry, I didn't take into account how you would interpret our interactions. I thought it was obvious that I cared for you, that I didn't need to say it outright. Clearly… I was wrong. So, if you need more than what I previously expressed- which I'm now realizing was very little in the eyes of someone who is not me- then I am happy to provide that for you.” 
Remus was shaken, a good deal of his ire slipping away. Whether that was good or bad remained unclear.
Before it could be overthought, Logan crossed the remaining few feet between them and brought his arms around The Duke in his loose approximation of a hug. The trait froze, but he didn't pull away. 
Physical affection, check. 
“I value your companionship more than I'm entirely sure how to verbalize. You understand me in a way that most others don’t seem to. While your ability to make detailed creations is very helpful, it is hardly the only thing I appreciate about you. 
“For one, you make me laugh. A lot. More than I'm used to. Additionally, you can easily match the pace with which I speak, or change topics! And, you are so much smarter than you make yourself out to be,” Logan finished the spiel with a smile, genuinely proud at his ability to articulate such… sentimental things, with relative ease. Words of affirmation, check.
He snapped back to attention when Remus brought shaking hands up to Logan's chest. For a moment, he worried that Remus would shove him away. The fears dissipated when all he did was bunch the front of Logan's shirt in his hands and hold on tight. 
“Do you mean that,” his volume was low, “Or do you just want me to calm down?”
Logan tightened his grip around him and, following a motion that he'd seen Patton employ many times to great success, he rubbed up and down his back.
“I understand that it might be hard for you to trust me, but I promise I'm not lying to you. I would have to be pretty awful to do something like that, wouldn't I?”
Hesitantly, Remus nodded against his collar. A good sign, but there was one thing left he had to say. 
“And- If you need further convincing- then you should know. I love you.”
Remus stilled. He then unfisted his hands from Logan's shirt. It was an anticipatory second before he threw his arms around the logical trait and finally returned the hug. His hold was crushing, and it was the most comforting thing that Logan had ever felt. 
They were okay.
“I'm sorry I-” 
Logan didn’t let him finish the apology. 
“Don't be. You didn't know how I felt, because I hadn't communicated it in a way you understood. That is hardly your fault.”
Remus nodded again, remaining much quieter than he’d probably ever been in his entire existence.
They held each other for longer than either would like to admit, speaking softly. 
“Thanks,” was muttered against Logan’s shoulder. 
“Of course. Just so you know, I'm more than willing to do this again whenever you need reassurance.”
“It might be a lot,” his tone was turning more mischievous, more him, “Are you sure you can handle that?”
“Absolutely.”
Logan hardly minded having an opportunity to gush about Remus to Remus. Not to mention, the physical affection was even nicer than he'd imagined it being. And oh, had he imagined it. 
Remus' face returned to his usual ever-present zeal, and he ended their hug to bounce in place. 
“Great! I'm good now! We can get on with that autopsy you wanted to show me- there better be buckets of blood!”
Logan shifted his weight. 
“Maybe we should save that for another day.”
“Oh,” Remus' face fell the smallest bit, “Okay.”
Logan was quick to amend:
“By that I mean, I have something better in mind.”
 Remus curled himself up in Logan’s lap, his eyes barely focused on the TV as the side carded his hands through his tangled mop of hair. Final Destination 3 played on the television (he had assured Logan that they didn't need to see the first two, and he was mostly right), serving as an excuse for the two to drink in each other's company. 
It was right in the middle of a particularly graphic rollercoaster scene that Remus took Logan's hands from his hair to hold them, twisting around to face him.
“Is something wrong, Remus?”
“You told me you loved me,” he stated blankly. 
“Yes, I did.”
“I didn't say it back!”
“No, you didn't,” it hadn't been the most important matter at the time, really. “You don't have to say it. It's perfectly okay if you don't feel the s- Mmph!”
Remus smashed their lips together, holding the sides of Logan's face (disrupting his glasses in the process) and pulling him forward harshly. 
Logan, for less than a second, was floored. And then Remus tilted his head to deepen the already heated kiss, and the situation properly clicked. Logan reciprocated, slightly uncertain in his movements, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. 
Remus smiled against him. He nipped at Logan's lower lip with sharpened teeth, eliciting a very embarrassing yelp. Logic let his lips part in response as his thoughts grew fuzzier by the second. 
The (somewhat clumsy) open-mouthed kiss lasted right until they absolutely had to break, separating for air. Neither moved very far, letting their foreheads rest against each other and all but panting for breath.
“I love you so fuckin' much, nerd,” when Remus spoke, their lips brushed ever so slightly, “Just so you know.”
“I picked up on that, yes.” 
“A little clarity never hurts, right?”
Logan chuckled at the reference to his own sentiments, but the sound was abruptly cut off when Remus kissed him properly again. 
When they broke apart, he explained how 'stupid-cute' that laugh was. And Logan, only half-joking (since when did he joke at all?), said that he’d have to do it more often.
Banter came easily to them, despite the raw undercurrent that still laced their conversation. Although, neither of them had ever found it difficult to talk; talk about the first thing that came to mind and the last thing that would come to anyone’s mind, talk about exceedingly simple nonsense and topics so intricate that they wound up sounding like nonsense, just talk.
So things would stay mostly the same. They would ramble to each other when no one else could stand to hear such disturbing things. They would sit, working side by side, running through plans and ideas and results at rapid-paced speech. They’d speak, and they would listen, when even their closest friends couldn’t manage such patience.
Only now, sometimes the rushed words might turn soft. Now, all that ranting might be more substantial than anyone would at first see. Now, they’d still listen, but leaned close together, gazes impossibly fond.
But then, on occasion, they would find that there were things far more fun than talking to do together.
@shrimp-crockpot
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iamtheempress · 3 years
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A Vegeta x OC Fanfiction (part 2)¤ ¤ ¤
The morning came with silence and silence came with Raditz banging on Calamatta’s pod. 
“Wake up! we need to get our pods to the ship in the upper atmosphere then we start the terraforming process! Got it?” SHe stretches and gives the long haired Saiyan a lazy thumbs up. Confirming she heard him loud and clear. Rubbing her eyes she punched in the coordinates to the ship and off the four pods flew to the ship in the higher atmosphere, slotting their pods into the mothership.
The four took their time to leave 2 by 2 to the planet and scour the planet to completely terraform it, with expertise and precision. Cracking open the planet enough to let the oceans flow forth, for several hours they did this until they returned to the ship. Calamatta entered the ship last and was greeted with a crisp clap to the back from Nappa. “Good job, lil lady!” He bellowed as she rubbed the back of her head. “T-thanks Nappa, now im just worried.” 
Raditz raised his hand and shook his head, “Ahhh calm down, we're going to give him an honest review of you then you will be moved to our quarters, you get your first pay and then you should be good. Settle down.” He brushes past her and makes his way to Frieza’s Hall. Vegeta followed behind, throwing a glance at the female Saiyan as she sat on a chair, he can tell she was nervous by the frequency of her bouncing leg. They didnt like bending to Frieza’s whim, but they werent about to just go against him out right.. And with one more saiyan with them to train and get stronger they could be unstoppable. Its just the matter of pandering to Lord Frieza until then and making sure they dont get killed.
Lord Friezas chambers had only Zarbon blocking their way, the annoying green haired former prince with no shame. Dodoria, the brainless ruffian was nowhere in sight. “Monkeys.. Im assuming its about the release of Friezas little ape?” Zarbon said very condescendingly to the three, very annoyed Saiyans. Vegeta tightened his fist and grit his teeth at the comparison to apes so blatantly to his face.
 “Zarbon thats quite enough. Ive been expecting them.” Friezas voice piped up waving the three Saiyans in. “Y-yes, Lord Frieza.” He obeyed and moved out of their ways. “You are excused Zarbon, your services arent needed this evening.” Frieza rotated fully in his seat and swirled a full goblet of wine within it. 
The three took bended knee to Frieza begrudgingly and raised up at the same time. “Were here to confirm our Terraforming a rousing success.” Frieza smirked and paid attention to Nappa. “Indeed. It was to be a 4 to 5 day excursion and you done it in 2 and a half days? My my, you 4 are persistent!” He chided and pointed to Nappa first. Everyone is fully aware of Frieza’s death beam so Nappa winced. Causing Frieza to visibly inflate like an egomaniac. “Now what is your report about my favorite little monkey, Ms. Calamatta” He sipped his wine and let it hover mid air rotating it and lacing his fingers together and letting his long worm like tail wag lightly. Nappa took one step forward and spoke up, light sweat on his brow as he made eye contact with deadly bright vermillion eyes.
“Calamatta’s first time out with primary race extermination was exquisite. Effective and heartless. If she continues with us you should expect the same, Lord Frieza!” He did a full bow and stepped back for Raditz, The long haired teenage Saiyan cleared his voice and spoke up, starting with an embarrassing voice crack. “She took orders for sequences of events and how to lay waist to entire cities fairly quickly. I'd prefer her with us simply because she has a job to do and she seems to enjoy it.” Frieza slowly nods, eyes closed and speaks softly. “Mhmm. mmhmmm. You two are dismissed. Vegeta… you stay.” 
Frieza took his goblet and took a sip from it as the Prince narrowed his eyes and approached, puffing up his chest. “What do you think about the pretty little simian? Shes quite interesting… obedient and has grown to be a lovely young woman, shapely i think your repugnant species would call her... You are aware her father appointed her to me when she was a child, I'd assume Vegeta…?” He lets the wine glass levitate again, Vegeta stood with his arms crossed and brow raised. “Yes, Im aware...What is this about.” Frieza clicked his nails about on his seat and smiled softly.
“Her father did not trust his only daughter with the likes of the Kings eldest boy… Not after their fight… so she was appointed as my little monkey butler, a nice little piece of arm candy… if only she wasnt a Saiyan. Anyway… Enough with my little flights of fantasy…” He gestured to the confused Saiyan Prince, his lips lined straight and unmoving. “About Calamatta… How was she.. Your word I take higher then anyone else.” He preened upon saying her name, it was borderline perverted but with a sinister meaning behind it. 
“Shes the missed opportunity id like to get my hands on. A perfect Saiyan through and through. If she werent by your side so often id have taken her by my side YEARS ago, Frieza…” He stated as a matter of factly, Friezas dark little smile returned “How disgustingly romantic... Zarbon! Summon Calamatta for me.” He snaps his fingers and trot like tapping faded down the hallway. Zarbon was waiting outside, like a good little brainless lackey.
Calamatta was tapping on the table she waited at, tail flicking nervously about behind her. She was snapped from her stupor of nervous leg bouncing and hair twirling to Zarbon slapping his hand down firm onto the table. “Calamatta, Lord Frieza is requesting your return asap.” SHe nodded and fixed her hair abit standing up and wrapping her tail around her waist. Shes known Zarbon longer then shes known Dodoria. 
The kinship Zarbon developed for her was astounding, a favorable friendship when she felt immense discomfort in her teens on. It weirds her out and flatters her nonetheless. “Yes, Zarbon.. Right away.” She walks along side Zarbon and even passes Nappa and Raditz on their way back. “Ill have you know for the duration of time that I have known you; you are not like the others… youre charismatic and maybe the most tolerable, of the 4 of you...your  still nothing more than a monkey butler though.” She sneered and returned her gaze fixed forward, down then away. The moment she turned the corner she went wide eyed to see Vegeta. 
She stopped in her tracks and was given a push from Zarbon, Frieza chirped upon her entry. “Welcome back, Calamatta! I have some good news for you…” “Lord Frieza..” She bowed at the waist obediently she stood next to Vegeta and Zarbon once again excused himself.
“I trust that your first day terraforming was a success and that you had a splendid time, did you dear?” Calamatta stood up straight and let her tail unwind from her waist. “Y-Yes! I actually liked it alot!” She chirped and gulped abit, Vegeta scoffed and closed his eyes, only for Frieza to speak. “Oh, well you are not out of the woods yet my dear...no no.. You have one more task to prove to me before i let you do anything with the male populace for you to shake your pretty little tail at.” 
He makes a face and a screen pops up on the window behind him. A massive green, blue and red planet popped up on the screen encircled by 2 rings and 2 moons. “You and Vegeta are to Terraform this planet on your own. I will give you a month to do it because this planet has highly hostile inhabitants.” Vegetas eyes snapped open and stared at the planet then to frieza. “You cant be serious? Why not just send me on my own then i can do it 3 weeks without the likes of a newbie.. No offence Calamatta but its just facts.” He crossed his arms. “Do this the both of you for me in a months worth of time and your pretty little primate will be out of my hands and in yours. Indefinitely. But if not i will be forced to use my own hand… and you dont want that Vegeta..” He grinned widely. His pointer finger extended toward the female Saiyan and she gulped upon seeing the beam charge at the tip of his digit.
Vegeta stepped infront of the female Saiyan and narrowed his eyes, his move was more instinctual than out of emotion. Calamatta never thought the prince would ever put himself in a position like this but here he was, his solid back to her front she peaked over his caped shoulder and looked at the tyrant who tilted his head. "Hehehe.. it seems ive struck a chord in you Vegeta.." "Not at all.. she's done nothing for you to raise that finger at her. I've made the decision and well go…" he clenches his fists, the material of his gloves made a noise. Calamatta could feel the princes frustration from how close he was to her… "to that planet… and well wipe it before the month even finishes.." 
Frieza chuckled, "Good… i know you will fulfill your promise.. Calamatta you stay, dear.. Vegeta…" Calamatta straightened her back  and tightened her tail around her waist. "You are dismissed.. i have a few things to discuss with her." Vegeta turned around and made eye contact with Calamatta, with a pitiful look in his eye.. like he knew she shouldn't be in this situation. "Bye, Vegeta." She said softly, causing the Emperor to briefly narrow his eyes, she kept her head forward. Vegeta said nothing as the door slid shut behind her. Leaving without a word and kind of making her heart sink abit. He grit his teeth and stormed down the hallway to a perplexed Raditz and Nappa.
“Calamatta, come little primate.” Frieza beckoned to her and snapped for one of his little cronies to bring something to him. Folded up in the hands of Dodoria himself. “Hello little Matta, hope you enjoy this little costume change.” She nodded to him and took the body suit and armor. “When would i expect to go to this planet?” SHe tilted her head and held the new suit, noticing theres not much too it, which made her really wary. “Ah ah, first things first alittle bit of information is more useful about the planet then when you and the simian prince will go.” Frieza quips looking at his shiny black claws. “The planets name is To-Rot, it is a giant habitable planet that im sure would be able to line your pockets quite nicely.”
Dodoria crossed his arms and quirked a brow at her, “Lord Frieza told you about the type of inhabitants to that planet right? Its not a walk in the park and I certainly wouldnt go alone... “ Calamatta gulped. “Now now, Dodoria. Do not frighten the girl. Who knows she could be the best of the 4 remaining Saiyans. We will see..” He gets out of his pod like seat and uses his tail to tip her chin up, a small smirk still playing on his lips.
“Run along and change and you may turn in for the evening… you both leave in 20 hours, when we arrive to the nearest solar system. From there you and Vegeta will go To-Rot.” Frieza chuckles to himself. “Fitting name dont you think? Ohohohohohoooo !!” He laughs and Calamatta turns and bows walking back to the saiyan chambers to change.
¤ ¤ ¤
Tags:  @memevember @dragonblobz @gonuclear @msgreenverse @fallen--lilith​ @jimbobslurpnchug​ @dragonballzforlife​ @nikabriefs​ @lilhemmo​ @lizardhipsdontlie​ @hierophantblue​ @supremeleadershitlord​ @thotful-writing​ @chickiedinner​ @anti-jaina @dragonball-hcs-or-sum-shit​
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trendingnewsb · 7 years
Text
Nikon’s 83x-optical-zooming Coolpix P900 is insane
Say hello to a really big lens.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Its all about that lens.
There is no way to talk about Nikons excellent, though occasionally frustrating, Coolpix P900 super zoom camera without first addressing the lens.
This wide-angle, telephoto wonder can, at 24mm, pull in a startling amount of visual information. At 2,000mm, it can pluck the moon from the sky.
Its a stunning level of versatility rarely found in a fixed-lens camera.
SEE ALSO: Nikon D810A is the ideal camera for taking stellar photos of the stars
As a result, the 16-megapixel Nikon Coolpix P900 is an excellent shooter in a wide variety of scenarios. Itll handle the portrait as well as the nature photo, and the action shot as well as the, well, moon shot.
It does all this despite having an image sensor that, at 1 2/3 inches, is smaller than competing super-zoom cameras (the size of a sensor defines how much light a camera can bring in).
24 mm
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
2000 mm
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Nikon released the Coolpix P900 back in 2015, but it remains their most powerful super-zoom offering. Nikon sells it for $599.95, but you can find it online for under $500, which is an amazing deal.
Despite its many months on the market, most people I spoke to (even pro-level photographers) were unaware that theres an 83x optical zoom camera on the market and would marvel as I electronically extended the lens three inches from the Nikon Coolpix P900s relatively compact 3.18-ounce body. And they were equally stunned when I showed them some of the pictures I took without using a tripod.
However, actual pros will likely look elsewhere when they learn they cant shoot RAW still images or 4K video (it tops out at 1080p full HD at 60 fps).
Many consumers, though, dont care to work in RAW (because theyre not manipulating images in a photo editor) and do not even own a 4K-capable computer monitor or TV to showcase all those pixels.
The basics
Best described as a prosumer, super-zoom camera, the P900 offers virtually all the automatic and manual controls you would want on a big-lens camera. In addition to automatic shooting, you can choose aperture- or shutter-priority, fully manual, saved settings, scenes (like action/sports), and effects. The latter are akin to the filters you find in your favorite mobile phone shooting apps and are best avoided.
You can shoot through the electronic viewfinder or the flip-out, 3-inch monitor. Though I grew up using optical viewfinders on classic DSLRs, Ive gotten used to shooting through the monitor. The one on my Sony Alpha NEX-5 tilts up and down, which lets me raise the camera above my head and see over obstacles to get my shot. The Nikon Coolpix P900s monitor, which flips out and away from the camera body, is much more versatile. I can tilt it up and down or rotate it 180 degrees to face front, which is super useful for selfies and vlogging.
A good look at the 3-inch monitor and P900’s controls.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
I wish the monitor was touchscreen, but I got used to always using the cameras triad of dials to adjust settings and the zoom rocker to zoom in on playback photos. My other frustration with the monitor was that even though I could adjust the viewing angle pretty much any way I wanted, the screen would often black out at the most inopportune times. To get around this, I usually had to put the screen perpendicular to the lens. If I got too frustrated, I simply switched to the electronic viewfinder, which automatically turns on when I put my eye near it.
I have yet to find a prosumer camera thats fully figured out the best way to handle adjusting manual settings. The Coolpix P900 splits shutter and aperture controls between two dials about an inch and a half apart. The shutter speed dial can be hard to adjust when youre gripping the camera with your right hand and have your finger positioned over the shutter button (or resting on the zoom control).
Store and more
The P900 stores images and video on SD cards, but is also Wi-Fi enabled. When coupled with Nikons poorly named WMU or Wireless Mobile Utility App (iOS or Android), you can take photos through your phone or view and transfer images already on the cameras SD card.
Transferring photos from the camera to your phone is an awkward, multi-step process that I did a lot because I loved posting the Coolpix P900 photos on Instagram.
With the zoom fully extended, the Nikon Coolpix P900 is 9-inches from the front to the back.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
To transfer images, you first hit the menu button on the camera, navigate to the wireless symbol and choose connect to smart device. On the phone, you open your Wi-Fi settings and connect to the Nikon camera. After that, you open the WMU app and then select Pictures on Camera. After that, downloading images is self-explanatory, but that convoluted step-by-step process must be repeated every single time.
Those frustrations aside, I have never been so in love with a lens.
Those frustrations aside, I have never been so in love with a lens.
The lens (f/2.8-6.5 and 4.3-to-357mm, which is 24-2,000mm in a 35mm equivalent) slowly telescopes in and out with a toggle switch surrounding the shutter, and the zoom control on the side of the lens.
Its not just that the lens gets you optically 83 times closer to your subjectits how it does it.
The Flatiron at no zoom.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Try seeing this detail with the naked eye.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
A zoom that large will also amplify minute vibrations in your hand, which usually means that, at maximum zoom, youll need a tripod. The Coolpix P900, though, includes excellent vibration-reduction technology inside the lens, which helps it lock onto subjects, even ones that are 238,900 miles away.
Repeatedly, I would rest my arms on my chest or find a pole to lean on to shoot objects hundreds or even thousands of feet away. I was honestly shocked at how well the Coolpix kept things in frame.
The Nikon Coolpix P900 lens made this moon shot possible.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Found this tiny wonder atop a flagpole in the middle of Union Square in NYC.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
I used it to shoot the top of the World Trade Center and people enjoying an afternoon of sightseeing on the Empire State Buildings observation deck. There is a digital zoom that electronically gets you to 4,000mm. I tried it, but, from my perspective, the image quality doesnt compare to the 83x optical zoom.
The top of the Freedom Tower at 83x.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Hello, Empire State Building dwellers. We see you.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
As much as I loved the zoom. I was equally impressed at how well the Coolpix P900 handled action shots (I used the “Scenes” mode to let it autodetect and adjust the settings) and even flash photography. I usually avoid using the flash at all costs, but during one very dimly lit party, I was truly pleased with how the Coolpix P900 handled these shots. Nothing was blown out and the colors all looked natural.
This is also an excellent wide-angle shooter. I was pleasantly surprised at how, when zoomed all the way back (meaning 24mm), how much of a scene I could pull in without visible distortion around the edges of the frame. The camera is also a speedy auto-focuser, which is a good thing because manual focus control is kind of terrible. To manually adjust focus, you use the tiny Rotary Multi-selector. I would really prefer a focus ring on the lens.
The Nikon Coolpix P900 can easily capture action without a flash…
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
…and with a flash.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
The only thing thats a little too slow for my taste is the speed of the zoom. Im used to a manual, 200mm zoom lens that I extend instantly by hand. At first, waiting almost five seconds for the P900s motor to fully extend the 83x lens felt tedious, but I soon got over it and basked in the pleasure of the most powerful zoom lens I have ever used.
As for video, it looks good and the stereo microphone is sensitive.
You can find more megapixels, bigger sensors and maybe better software, but I challenge you to find a better deal for this much zoom. The lens on Nikons Coolpix P900 is truly unforgettable.
Nikon Coolpix P900
The Good
Spectacular 83x optical zoom lens Great wide-angle shooter Great action shooter Great price
The Bad
Convoluted Wi-Fi downloads Balky monitor
The Bottom Line
An amazing super-zoom lens on a good camera and at an amazing price.
WATCH: This Lego camera actually works.
Every editorial product is independently selected by Mashable journalists. If you buy something featured, we may earn an affiliate commission which helps support our journalism.
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trendingnewsb · 7 years
Text
Nikon’s 83x-optical-zooming Coolpix P900 is insane
Say hello to a really big lens.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Its all about that lens.
There is no way to talk about Nikons excellent, though occasionally frustrating, Coolpix P900 super zoom camera without first addressing the lens.
This wide-angle, telephoto wonder can, at 24mm, pull in a startling amount of visual information. At 2,000mm, it can pluck the moon from the sky.
Its a stunning level of versatility rarely found in a fixed-lens camera.
SEE ALSO: Nikon D810A is the ideal camera for taking stellar photos of the stars
As a result, the 16-megapixel Nikon Coolpix P900 is an excellent shooter in a wide variety of scenarios. Itll handle the portrait as well as the nature photo, and the action shot as well as the, well, moon shot.
It does all this despite having an image sensor that, at 1 2/3 inches, is smaller than competing super-zoom cameras (the size of a sensor defines how much light a camera can bring in).
24 mm
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
2000 mm
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Nikon released the Coolpix P900 back in 2015, but it remains their most powerful super-zoom offering. Nikon sells it for $599.95, but you can find it online for under $500, which is an amazing deal.
Despite its many months on the market, most people I spoke to (even pro-level photographers) were unaware that theres an 83x optical zoom camera on the market and would marvel as I electronically extended the lens three inches from the Nikon Coolpix P900s relatively compact 3.18-ounce body. And they were equally stunned when I showed them some of the pictures I took without using a tripod.
However, actual pros will likely look elsewhere when they learn they cant shoot RAW still images or 4K video (it tops out at 1080p full HD at 60 fps).
Many consumers, though, dont care to work in RAW (because theyre not manipulating images in a photo editor) and do not even own a 4K-capable computer monitor or TV to showcase all those pixels.
The basics
Best described as a prosumer, super-zoom camera, the P900 offers virtually all the automatic and manual controls you would want on a big-lens camera. In addition to automatic shooting, you can choose aperture- or shutter-priority, fully manual, saved settings, scenes (like action/sports), and effects. The latter are akin to the filters you find in your favorite mobile phone shooting apps and are best avoided.
You can shoot through the electronic viewfinder or the flip-out, 3-inch monitor. Though I grew up using optical viewfinders on classic DSLRs, Ive gotten used to shooting through the monitor. The one on my Sony Alpha NEX-5 tilts up and down, which lets me raise the camera above my head and see over obstacles to get my shot. The Nikon Coolpix P900s monitor, which flips out and away from the camera body, is much more versatile. I can tilt it up and down or rotate it 180 degrees to face front, which is super useful for selfies and vlogging.
A good look at the 3-inch monitor and P900’s controls.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
I wish the monitor was touchscreen, but I got used to always using the cameras triad of dials to adjust settings and the zoom rocker to zoom in on playback photos. My other frustration with the monitor was that even though I could adjust the viewing angle pretty much any way I wanted, the screen would often black out at the most inopportune times. To get around this, I usually had to put the screen perpendicular to the lens. If I got too frustrated, I simply switched to the electronic viewfinder, which automatically turns on when I put my eye near it.
I have yet to find a prosumer camera thats fully figured out the best way to handle adjusting manual settings. The Coolpix P900 splits shutter and aperture controls between two dials about an inch and a half apart. The shutter speed dial can be hard to adjust when youre gripping the camera with your right hand and have your finger positioned over the shutter button (or resting on the zoom control).
Store and more
The P900 stores images and video on SD cards, but is also Wi-Fi enabled. When coupled with Nikons poorly named WMU or Wireless Mobile Utility App (iOS or Android), you can take photos through your phone or view and transfer images already on the cameras SD card.
Transferring photos from the camera to your phone is an awkward, multi-step process that I did a lot because I loved posting the Coolpix P900 photos on Instagram.
With the zoom fully extended, the Nikon Coolpix P900 is 9-inches from the front to the back.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
To transfer images, you first hit the menu button on the camera, navigate to the wireless symbol and choose connect to smart device. On the phone, you open your Wi-Fi settings and connect to the Nikon camera. After that, you open the WMU app and then select Pictures on Camera. After that, downloading images is self-explanatory, but that convoluted step-by-step process must be repeated every single time.
Those frustrations aside, I have never been so in love with a lens.
Those frustrations aside, I have never been so in love with a lens.
The lens (f/2.8-6.5 and 4.3-to-357mm, which is 24-2,000mm in a 35mm equivalent) slowly telescopes in and out with a toggle switch surrounding the shutter, and the zoom control on the side of the lens.
Its not just that the lens gets you optically 83 times closer to your subjectits how it does it.
The Flatiron at no zoom.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Try seeing this detail with the naked eye.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
A zoom that large will also amplify minute vibrations in your hand, which usually means that, at maximum zoom, youll need a tripod. The Coolpix P900, though, includes excellent vibration-reduction technology inside the lens, which helps it lock onto subjects, even ones that are 238,900 miles away.
Repeatedly, I would rest my arms on my chest or find a pole to lean on to shoot objects hundreds or even thousands of feet away. I was honestly shocked at how well the Coolpix kept things in frame.
The Nikon Coolpix P900 lens made this moon shot possible.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Found this tiny wonder atop a flagpole in the middle of Union Square in NYC.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
I used it to shoot the top of the World Trade Center and people enjoying an afternoon of sightseeing on the Empire State Buildings observation deck. There is a digital zoom that electronically gets you to 4,000mm. I tried it, but, from my perspective, the image quality doesnt compare to the 83x optical zoom.
The top of the Freedom Tower at 83x.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
Hello, Empire State Building dwellers. We see you.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
As much as I loved the zoom. I was equally impressed at how well the Coolpix P900 handled action shots (I used the “Scenes” mode to let it autodetect and adjust the settings) and even flash photography. I usually avoid using the flash at all costs, but during one very dimly lit party, I was truly pleased with how the Coolpix P900 handled these shots. Nothing was blown out and the colors all looked natural.
This is also an excellent wide-angle shooter. I was pleasantly surprised at how, when zoomed all the way back (meaning 24mm), how much of a scene I could pull in without visible distortion around the edges of the frame. The camera is also a speedy auto-focuser, which is a good thing because manual focus control is kind of terrible. To manually adjust focus, you use the tiny Rotary Multi-selector. I would really prefer a focus ring on the lens.
The Nikon Coolpix P900 can easily capture action without a flash…
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
…and with a flash.
Image: lance ulanoff/mashable
The only thing thats a little too slow for my taste is the speed of the zoom. Im used to a manual, 200mm zoom lens that I extend instantly by hand. At first, waiting almost five seconds for the P900s motor to fully extend the 83x lens felt tedious, but I soon got over it and basked in the pleasure of the most powerful zoom lens I have ever used.
As for video, it looks good and the stereo microphone is sensitive.
You can find more megapixels, bigger sensors and maybe better software, but I challenge you to find a better deal for this much zoom. The lens on Nikons Coolpix P900 is truly unforgettable.
Nikon Coolpix P900
The Good
Spectacular 83x optical zoom lens Great wide-angle shooter Great action shooter Great price
The Bad
Convoluted Wi-Fi downloads Balky monitor
The Bottom Line
An amazing super-zoom lens on a good camera and at an amazing price.
WATCH: This Lego camera actually works.
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