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1kook · 5 years

Text

late fee

jeon jeongguk x (f) reader

summary: “Captain Underpants isn’t glorified by all the tryhards, so when I pick those books, you’re unknowingly more interested in me.” tags: f2l, flirty kook, jk’s obsession w/captain underpants, he’s a fuckboy but he’s a soft fuckboy dont get it twisted, campus boy crush jk(yes again), jk abuses the FuCK out of pet names, miss koo1aid actually writes some PLOT warnings: much flirting, nsfw bc of a lot of heavy petting, pussy eatin’, a lil dirty talk, very s l i g h t coochie sniffing, BUT!!! protected sex :) wc: 10.3k

i wrote another fic (applause) and the entire thing is based off my belief that jungkook 10000% would enjoy captain underpants books. not proofread bc i am a hermit and speak to exactly 0 ppl on here, que dios los bendiga

“Helloooo, sexy librarian,” Jeongguk says the moment he steps through the door, lopsided grin adorning his features as he swaggers over to obnoxiously lean against your desk. You can’t even pretend you didn’t see him, his presence so blaringly consuming, and evident in the way some dorky high schoolers glance over to gawk at him.

“What book are you checking out today, Jeon?” You muse instead, leaving your desk chair to head over to the stack of new books that needed to be stamped. As you turn, Jeongguk whistles at the sight, and you don’t even have it in you anymore to retort back the same way you would when he first started bugging you. “Also, are you aware that your copy of Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants is due tomorrow? It’s a dollar for every day it’s late—”

“You needn’t worry longer, baby,” Jeongguk interrupts, and the loud smack of a hardcover against the desk catches your attention. There lies Jeongguk’s Captain Underpants book, alongside the paperback copy of Beloved that has definitely seen better days.

You furrow your brows. “When did you check out this one?” You question, checking the spine to make sure the book belongs to your library. Much to your surprise, there’s no barcode on the side, and no stamp on the inside.

Your question goes unanswered as Jeongguk jumps into a full-length novella recapture of the hot frat party he’d been to last weekend, and how the Zeta Theta Psi guys knew how to party. That Jimin fellow that Jeongguk frequently mentions had apparently snorted a line of coke off their friend Seokjin’s broad shoulders just to prove his friend had godly proportions. It’s weird, but Jeongguk says it’s because you have to ride for your bros. You try to act uninterested, but Jeongguk’s a funny guy, really, and you can only hide so many chuckles with the sound of a stamp.

He’s in the middle of trying to cover up of one of his frequent trysts after accidentally exposing himself—”Don’t get it twisted, baby, I just took her upstairs to call her friend.”—when Namjoon comes out of the back room looking for you. He barely glances at your guest, before handing you a list of overdue books.

“Would you mind calling these people?” He asks, voice soft, just as everything else was about Namjoon. “They’re all a week past.”

“Yikes,” you say, eyes scanning over the list. Surprisingly, Jeongguk is still there, hovering over you as if waiting for you to dismiss him. “Do you mind, Jeon?” You say, channeling your best customer service voice. As much as Namjoon was wary of him, he still considered Jeongguk a patron in your establishment and hated to see him treated poorly, no matter how many library rules Jeongguk broke.

“Of course,” he sighs, and you miss the hostile glare he throws Namjoon when you whirl around for a highlighter. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart,” he says when you turn back around, stretching ana rm in your direction.

Half of you knows exactly what he’ll do, but the other half of you, the one trying desperately to act like his advances have no effect on you, have you placing your palm in his. You’re not super surprised when he tugs your hand upward, pecking your knuckles with a flirty wink. “Adios, Juliet,” he smirks.

“Wrong language,” you inform him, rolling your eyes nonchalantly even though your heart is beating one hundred miles per second. Jeongguk cackles, loud as all hell in the silent library, before making his exit.

It’s silent for all of twenty seconds before Namjoon jumps right into it. “So are you seeing him, or…” he interrogates, trying to act like he’s hardly interested, but you’ve known and worked alongside Namjoon long enough to know he’s secretly the community gossip.

You ignore him, choosing to jam the buttons on the phone instead.

The weird thing about Jeongguk, was that, although he was notoriously known amongst the undergraduates (and even some graduates, because he just had it like that, you suppose) as one of the biggest fuckboys, he was different. Not to sound like every teen romcom you’d ever scanned, but he genuinely was. For starters, he’d fuck your brains out and then make you his best friend the morning after. He definitely had a very peculiar, and backwards, way of doing the whole one night stand thing.

All this you’ve gathered from your friends, who, at one point have had some sort of encounter with Jeongguk. Dahyun’s was last spring at a club event, when he’d oh so smoothly flirted with her for a solid hour before realizing she didn’t swing that way. Which is how they become close friends, which is how, by association, Jeongguk set his sights on you.

Your introduction to Jeongguk wasn’t anything out of the ordinary; he’d been tagging along behind Dahyun like a lost puppy, begging her for some class notes, and had subsequently followed her all the way to your favorite meeting place. From then, he’d dropped his petulant, childish act and put on his macho face, chest puffed and eyes hooded as he devoured your very presence.

The next time you see him, it’s at a frat party where some guy had been harping on you go upstairs with him. Another weird thing about Jeongguk, he hated when other fuckboys didn’t utilize their brains. You assume it’s because it gives the fuckboy community a bad rep as a whole, but Jeongguk hated when guys were overbearing. So he’d taken the initiative to snatch you away from that fellow, guiding you all the way back to Dahyun and friends just to make sure you were alright. Somewhere along the way, you’d informed him you worked at the local library—”The one that does bingo on Tuesdays?” “That’s for senior citizens only, why do you know that?”—and he’d never left you alone again.

This time, he spots you in the dining hall.

“You come here often, dollface?” He says the moment he slides up beside you, instantly zeroing in on the burrito wrap on your plate. Like the little immature baby he is, his hand immediately snakes out to touch the precariously wrapped white tortilla holding the deliciousness inside, and you have to physically slap the offender away. He jumps, bumping into a girl standing in line behind him, not that particularly cares. “So, it’s fuck Jeongguk hours, huh?” He huffs, adorning his face with that uppity glare he mastered from watching Mean Girls on repeat a few months ago.

“Your plate is stacked, but you wanna grab the one thing on mine,” you point out, and his lips curl into a smile at your response. “By the way, your book is past due.”

At this he gasps, all real, no Regina George effects added. “You’re lying,” he chokes, switching his plate to his other hand, and you nearly jump when the muffin balancing dangerously on top shifts. He tugs his phone out of the pocket of his sweats, scanning through his remind app until he sees that his book is overdue by three days. He groans, staring at the ceiling in shame.

You nod, breezing over his inner meltdown. “Was wondering when we were gonna get the wedgie winner, or whatever its called, back.”

He scoffs, giving you an unimpressed glare. “Wrath of the Wicked Wedgie Woman,” he corrects, looking so disappointed that you don’t have these bizarre titles memorized. “For such a pretty librarian, you sure are ignorant to these literary masterpieces.”

This makes you cackle, and your cheeks flush when at least three people turn to stare at your outburst. “You aren’t seriously calling these Captain Underpants books masterpieces,” you snort. Jeongguk shrugs, and you begin to wonder if he really is as airheaded as the characters he admires. “Jeon,” you try to reason, giving him a pleading look, because arguing the credibility of kids novels in line for lunch simply does not seem real. You must have been warped into another dimension where all pretty boys are as dumb as the movies make them out to seem.

“Listen,” he says, smiling when you grow desperate for him to prove you wrong. “I’ve read a lot of good books, but nothing tops a hypnotized superhero principal fighting crime in his underwear.”

You sigh, paying for your meal, and then, surprisingly, waiting for him to pay for his. You tell yourself it’s because you want to finish this conversation, but part of you just genuinely enjoys being in Jeongguk’s presence. Gag.

“I saw you with Beloved last week,” you carry on the second he’s done giving flirty eyes to the middle-aged cashier. “Now that’s a masterpiece.”

He nods in agreement. “But, baby,” he purrs, and the sudden switch from weird, 12 year-old literary enthusiast to grown as hell, suave bastard has you jolting a step that you try to play off by pretending to look at something on the ground. “How else will you remember my face?”

You blank. “What the hell are you talking about.”

Jeongguk gives you a pointed look. “Sweetheart, you wouldn’t remember a damn thing about me if I did what every other stuck-up bastard did trying to pick up chicks at the library.” You tilt your head in confusion. Jeongguk sighs. “If I went in every rainy Friday and checked out a Tale of Two Cities, or Oliver Twist, or some other Charles Dickens shit, you wouldn’t glance my way.”

“Do people still read Dickens?” You say instead, glossing over the fact that apparently Jeongguk’s visits were apparently blatant attempts to flirt with girls. Finally, you find a suitable spot at a long, dinner table so you don’t have to sit completely alone with Jeongguk.

“You know damn well better than I do that that those wannabe sophisticated books have waitlists.” He shoves half a pizza slice into his mouth, and you hate how your eyes immediately laser in on the strong movements of his jaw. “My point is,” he says through a greasy mouthful. “Captain Underpants isn’t glorified by all the tryhards, so when I pick those books, you’re unknowingly more interested in me.”

You cradle your burrito in your palms, rolling his words around your head for a bit. Jeongguk doesn’t particularly seem like he’s awaiting an answer, munching through the mountain of food on his plate as you revel in your thoughts.

It’s right when you go to take your first bite that you finally come to a conclusion. “But have you ever considered I’m interested in you because I think you’re funny?”

Silence. Jeongguk stares at you through his fringe, pizza slice slowly going limp in his hold as he absorbs your words. Before you know it, his ears flush red. He splutters. “I-You think I’m funny?” He asks, cheeks slowly growing rosy as well, and his lips quirk in a cute way to the side, as if he’s trying desperately to hide his excitement.

You nod, because it’s true, why would you lie? “Duh. You come in every week and just talk about your day, Jeongguk,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “I think you’re very interesting and entertaining without trying.”

“Thanks,” he mutters, and for the first time, you’re thrown off by how adorable this man looks, lips pressed tight to contain a smile from your compliments.

Realization hits you all at once, but you’ve long since trained in the fluid art of avoiding your emotions.

“There’s a party tonight,” Dahyun announces from her desk, not even bothering to glance at you when you return from the showers. You hum, not really that interested in whatever is going on this fine Thursday evening. You plop down at your own desk, starting your skincare routine.

Dahyun lets you relax in the soothing motions of self care for all of three seconds before she adds, “Jeongguk wanted to know if you’re coming.”

You press down too hard on the pump of your moisturizer, sending a large glomp onto the tips of your fingers. “That’s nice,” you say, trying to play it off, but you doubt Dahyun hadn’t heard the little spaz you had, or that she couldn’t sense the way your body immediately lit aflame at the mention of him and you in the same sentence.

She turns in her seat, and you catch sight of her in your mirror. You avert your eyes right away, because Dahyun had many talents, and her best one was reading your mind with a single gaze. You maintain an aura of unbothered and uninterested, finishing with the rest of your skincare.

Just when you think you’re safe, Dahyun pounces.

“Y’know,” she says, and you can hear the grin in her voice. “He hasn’t slept with anyone in almost a month. In fuckboy time, that’s the equivalent of two years.”

You roll your eyes, putting away your products before trying to busy yourself with anything else. “He probably has, but with people who know how to keep their mouths shut.”

Faintly, you hear Dahyun’s chair scrape against the carpet, and then suddenly she has you in a headlock. “Admit you like Jeongguk or I will throw your toothbrush into the toilet on the third floor.”

You choke, grappling her arms in an attempt to pry her off. “No,” you huff, switching tactics to tangle a hand in her silver locks. “Why would I confess to something that isn’t true?”

She shrieks when you give a sharp tug, sending her careening sideways against the foot of your bed, but not without taking you with her. “You are lying to yourself and to the entire librarian community, you sick fuck.”

You snort. “The fuck does Namjoon have to do with this?”

“He told me Jeongguk’s been bringing you Starbucks.”

Her reveal has you halting in your tracks, cheeks flushing at being exposed. “That gossiping fuck,” you seethe, finally loosening your grip on your friend. Somehow, you’ve ended up sprawled on the floor of her side of the room, nestled into the stupidly fluffy carpet she thrifted. She rolls onto her belly, propping herself up on her elbows to narrow her eyes at you.

“So it’s true,” she sighs. You shrug. “Well,” she claps her hands together. “Shimmy into that sexy dress from Windsor, we’re going out.”

You groan, rolling over in metaphorical agony. “Dude, I just washed my face. No way in hell, I’m putting on makeup now.” She considers your point for negative three seconds.

“The Glow Kit is in my bottom left drawer,” she announces right as she exits the room with her towel and shower essentials in hand.

The Glow Kit is in fact in Dahyun’s drawer, which is a little suspicious considering it’s the same one you thought you lost three months ago. Nonetheless, it never lets you down, and by the time you’re done with your makeup, you’re looking like a shimmering, little succubus in the hot dress from Windsor.

Normally, you and your self-esteem were rivals; never on the same page, always bickering, sworn enemies from birth. But right now, as you admire yourself in the closet mirror, you can’t help but marvel at how good you look in the slightly loose dress.

“Damn,” Dahyun says as soon as she returns, all fluffy in her towel. “You will fuck tonight, or else.”

“Hey, baby,” Jeongguk smiles at you the moment you walk in, hooded eyes raking over your body in an agonizingly slow manner. Dahyun chooses then to do her party trick—disappearing without a word.

“Hi…” you respond, voice meek in this party setting. There’s more people than you anticipated, which is weird because it’s a Thursday and surely some of these people have morning classes. You can’t comment, though, because you’re here knowing damn well you have an eight am tomorrow.

The music is blasting, so loud you can feel the bass shaking the floor, sending jolts up from your toes to your head with every beat. There’s people in every crevice of this household, some even taking refuge on the staircase leading up to the bedrooms. Someone brushes by you, and you instinctively step closer to the wall to avoid being in the way. You should have known Jeongguk would follow.

He ducks down to shout into your ear. “Wasn’t sure if you were coming tonight,” he tells you, right as one of his friends rushes by, thrusting a cup into his hand that Jeongguk doesn’t even stop to question. He takes a sip, then offers you some.

“Dahyun didn’t wanna come alone,” you lie, tentatively sipping from his cup only to realize it’s worse than any alcohol here: it’s Sprite. Jeongguk seems amused by your subtle disgust, immediately taking the cup back. You send out a light prayer for his stomach and his skin. “Aren’t you supposed to be out pulling hoes or something?” You say, trying to go for teasing and playful but missing by a mile.

Jeongguk grins. “Why would I do that when the only girl I want is right here,” he motions, and then does that cliche move where he places a hand by the wall behind you. The worst thing is, even though Jeongguk seems intent on pulling every cheesy act known to mankind, your heart actually races.

“Shut up,” you laugh, “you just like that I don’t charge you the late fees on your books.”

At this, Jeongguk genuinely smiles, nose scrunching up as he gazes at you. “False,” he argues, and then leans forward, same stupid dopey smile on his face. “I love a woman who snorts milk out of her nose.”

“Jeon!” You shriek, smacking his arm as embarrassment washes over you. “You said you would forget about that!”

Jeongguk cackles, all boyish and rough like he does when he’s around Hoseok for too long. Somehow, knowing you’re the cause of that charming laughter has your annoyance fading away, a soft smile crawling onto your features.

“I hate you,” you say instead, looking up and meeting his gaze dead on for the first time that night.

Jeongguk smirks. “Do you now?” He throws back, then takes a step forward. Your shoulder touches the wall when you take a tentative step back. You give a half-assed shrug, entranced by the playfulness that lurks behind his eyes. He gives you an exaggerated pout. “That sucks, because I,” he steps closer again, and this time he’s looking down at you over the bridge of his nose, “really like you.”

“I…” you trail off, too hypnotized by the pink tongue that swipes across his lips as he gazes at you. There is no hesitation on his face.

When you don’t say anything for another moment, Jeongguk ducks down. His nose bumps against yours, his breath warm as it fans across your face. “Y’know, I’d treat you so right,” he suddenly says, and your panties immediately turn into Niagara Falls at the newfound deepness of his voice. You feel lightheaded from his close proximity and promising words. “Could make you feel so good, baby, if you just let me.”

You shiver, nearly jumping out of your skin when a hand snakes its way around your waist, tugging you forward gently. Not overbearingly, because you know the last thing Jeongguk would ever do was want to make you uncomfortable. He pulls you close enough that it ends up being you who steps completely into his embrace. Your trembling hands find their place on his shoulders, and Jeongguk has never looked more content.

“You... only want sex,” you softly accuse, and the only reason your quiet voice doesn’t get lost in the noise is because of how close the two of you are.

Jeongguk bites his lip at your words, and you wonder if part of him is surprised that you’d so openly say such a thing. “Not with you,” he says eventually. “Wanna hold you like this forever, ___. And if that leads to you cumming on my tongue every now and then, well,” he smiles, “all fine by me.”

“Jeon,” you scold, scared that someone might have heard him.

“What?” He grins, pressing impossibly closer. His lip gives the slightest pucker, and you find yourself unconsciously leaning closer, the hand around your waist tightening. “I want you, baby.”

You can’t hide the lovestruck expression on your face as you look between his mouth and his eyes, and you wonder if he’s being honest.

Right as you’re about to throw all your doubts out the window and kiss him, you’re bombarded with the sound of obnoxious air horns from a DJ who obviously knows shit about, well, DJ-ing.

You jump at the sudden sound, bumping your head against the wall behind you. Jeongguk’s eyes widen. “Oh shit, are you okay?” He fusses, all traces of that suave, heartthrob replaced with a fretful Jeon.

“I’m fine,” you say, though you’re not because you’re absolutely dying right now. From the fact you almost gave into Jeongguk but also the embarrassment of hitting your head. “I-I need to find Dahyun,” you announce, and give Jeongguk no time to process that before you’re bolting into the crowded house like you just broke something.

jeon tell me you got home safe jeon please

You pause in the middle of removing your makeup, one eyelash on to symbolize the mess you are right now. Dahyun is humming some tune as she does the same, the both of you clad in your pajamas and fuzzy socks. Carefully, you pick up your phone.

you im home! me and the girls ubered home lol you sorry i didnt get to say goodbye :(

jeon dont worry abt it babe jeon just happy to know ur ok

“You better be texting Jeongguk, since you failed to complete the one job you had tonight,” Dahyun calls and you curse. You whirl around to face her, and she snorts at your one eyelash.

“Be honest,” you say. “If you were the campus crush who could get coochie every time he breathed, would you leave all that for me?”

Dahyun freezes. “Well, not when you’re only wearing one eyelash.” You groan, flopping into your seat uncomfortably. “Babe,” Dahyun sighs, as if sensing the gravity of your dilemma. “You’re hot! Everyone knows this except you.”

“But am I?” You whine. “Am I attractive or do you just feel obligated to say that because you’re my friend, be honest.”

“Oh my god,” she huffs, climbing into her bed, phone in hand. She doesn’t even bother looking your way when she’s all settled in. “You have this weird idea that Jeongguk is some intangible idol, as if you haven’t seen the dude deepthroat an entire bratwurst at the diversity fair. If anything, you’re the dream girl on campus, you stupid bitch.”

“The only true thing I heard is me being a stupid bitch,” you mope, and Dahyun throws a pillow at your face. You take this attack as initiative to finally take off your other lash, finishing your cleansing and moisturizing (for the second time) routine.

“Listen,” she says, setting her phone down to stare you dead in the eye. Her voice is devoid of any emotion. “If it makes you feel better, he wrote JK + __ on our group handout last week.”

You don’t sleep that night.

The last person you’re expecting to see at this secluded cafe on a Saturday morning was Jeon Jeongguk, yet here he was in all his delicious morning glory. By morning glory, you mean the soft, sleepy eyes that stare at you from across the table, voice so deep and husky.

“Why are you here if you just woke up?” You interrogate, settling into the empty seat in front of him. Carefully, you begin pulling things out of your bag, trying your best to not look away too long. This sight was rare, Jeongguk usually being at an energy level of about eighty seven at all times. To see him so tired and sluggish was unheard of.

He gestures over to where Taehyung is in the middle of what looks like a job interview. “Moral support,” Jeongguk informs you. You nod in understanding, before returning your gaze to the sleepy angel in front of you.

He’s ridiculously tired, eyes dropping shut every time you so much as pause for a second. He seems apologetic too, murmuring I’m sorry I’m sorry whenever his eyes flutter shut. Your heart was going haywire at the sight. “Jeon,” you say softly, and get one, soft hum in response. “I think you should go home, Taehyung seems fine.”

He shakes his head. “Needs me,” he murmurs, trying desperately to snap his eyes back open to no avail. Eventually, you make the call, packing your things up way earlier than usual. You haul Jeongguk out of his seat, him sleepily trailing after you as you drag him out of the shop. He sleeps on the short bus ride back to campus, and even almost sleeps on the elevator up to his dorm.

“In we go,” you announce, unlocking his door before nudging him inside. His roommate is nowhere to be found, oddly enough given the early hour. Jeongguk stumbles inside, plopping down on his bed right away. “Sleep.”

He lets out a high pitched whine the moment you turn to leave. “Come cuddle,” he huffs, face pressed against his pillow. His hair’s haloed around him, pout smushed against the cushion as he stares at you.

“You need to sleep,” you point out.

He rolls onto his back, patting the mattress beside him. “Wanna feel you,” he says. Your cheeks flush red. As if realizing the meaning behind his words, sleepy little Jeongguk takes the initiative to push you further. “Pressed against my body,” he drawls, his deep chuckle resonating throughout your body. “C’mon, baby, too scared to be in bed with me?”

You scoff, though your cheeks are warm. “You wouldn’t do anything anyway, you’re half asleep.”

Jeongguk shrugs, lips quirking to the side as he motions to his side again. “So? Can tell you like it slow anyway,” he grunts, before sitting up and shuffling to the edge of the bed and assuming a sitting position. Without warning, he catches your wrist in his hand and tugs you between his spread thighs.

He’s more awake than he’s been all morning, and part of you is happy but the other is anxious. God, was this boy dangerous.

“You’re half asleep, Jeon,” you say, trying to diffuse the sudden sexual tension. Jeongguk smiles up at you.

“Cmon, baby,” he exhales, and one fluid tug has you plopping onto his thigh. You startle at the sudden change, grabbing onto his shoulders for support. All he does is laugh some more, nuzzling his face against your neck as your heart goes into panic mode. “Bet I could get in so deep,” he murmurs, breath tickling your neck and you feel your legs turn to jelly.

“G-Gguk,” you try to warn, but it ends up sounding more like a plea. For what, you’re not entirely sure.

A sudden kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder has your spirit ascending into another plane. Jeongguk smiles at your pliant body. “Look at you,” he continues, kissing down your neck until your body is physically quivering. “So sensitive. No one ever touched you like this before, doll?”

You shake your head no, and nearly jump out of your own skin when a hand clasps onto the inside of your thigh. “Jeon, we shouldn’t…” you choke out, even though your traitorous hand clamps down on his and pushes it closer to where you need him most.

“We shouldn’t?” He teases, and then cups your sex.

You transcend.

Jeongguk laughs, airy chuckles fanning across your jaw. “Then stop,” he tells you, the both of you watching as your hips unconsciously grind into his palm. Even when you tell yourself you need to stop, your body feels heavenly being touched by him, so you physically can’t.

“I can’t,” you reiterate, and muffle a moan against the side of his face when he presses a finger down on where he knows your clit is hiding. The thin leggings you’d worn did nothing to spare you.

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he sighs, watching you work yourself on his hand. He traces his index finger over the seam of your leggings, where your folds meet and you moan again. “You gonna let me finish you off, princess? Gonna let me finger your tight little pussy until you cry? But I bet you’d make the prettiest noises if I licked you down there. Or are you gonna cum in your panties like this?”

All the different ideas he stuffs into your brain are overwhelming, especially when the only thing you really want is to be stuffed with his fingers and cock. “J-Just do it,” you beg.

“Do what?” He plays, watching the way your face contorted with every brush against your mound.

“Whatever you want,” you cry, biting down on your fist to stop any more noises from spilling out.

Jeongguk smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Such a simple gesture, but it has your stomach somersaulting. God, you needed this. You were practically sobbing for his dick, which was embarrassing in itself, but actually getting dicked down sort of cancelled it out. PEMDAS or whatever.

Just as his hand creeps to the hem of your leggings, there’s a rattle of the doorknob, and you jump. The cloud of lust that had engulfed you two fades away and you’re suddenly aware of the jingling of a key outside.

“What the fuck,” Jeongguk whisper-shouts, looking absolutely scandalized that his roommate is coming home at this moment of all moments.

“Should I hide?” You whisper back, never having been in such a situation before. Jeongguk looks at you like you’re stupid.

“Just,” he sighs, standing up. He ruffles his hair anxiously. “Just… act natural.”

You sit perfectly still. “Not like a Sim!!”

“Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space (and the Subsequent Assault of the Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds),” you read, gasping for breath by the end of it. Jeongguk beams at you. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Nope,” Jeongguk says, leaning over the counter and watching as you scan his book under his name. “I’ll let you know how it is.”

You roll your eyes, writing down the return date on a piece of paper you stuff inside. “Please do, I’m absolutely dying to read this book.”

You hand the book over to Jeongguk, and try to ignore the way he stares at you for a second too long. Namjoon chooses this exact moment to take his lunch break, sauntering off whistling the the Angry Birds tune.

Right before Jeongguk can jump into an interrogation, the door swings open and Jisoo from your sociology elective saunters in, carrying the same mountain of books you had checked out for her two weeks ago.

“___, hi!” She exclaims right away. She, too, was infected with the same bimbo disease as Jeongguk, the one where they both had no concept of being quiet in a library.

“Hi,” you greet back, immediately standing to take the books from her. “Did you actually read through all of these?” You ask, trying to make polite small talk. You’re not particularly close to her, but it’d be rude to act like you didn’t know her.

She laughs at your comment. “Oh god, no. I just open random pages and reference them for essays,” she admits.

You try to make more small talk with her as you scan through her books, but the girl literally almost hit the material limit, which is fifty books, so you soon become consumed in scanning the barcode, briefly flipping through the book for any damage, and then repeating it all over. You’re not surprised when she drifts away, and you’re mentally cursing Namjoon for going on break now of all times.

It’s about ten minutes later when you’re all done, the computer’s library system going haywire on you, the same way it had when she first checked out all these books. You look away from the screen, standing to face Jisoo, only to find she’s drifted to the other end of the welcome desk, where a certain someone had gone to while you served her.

Oh.

You’re not anticipating the wave of jealousy that hits you watching gorgeous, smart Jisoo talk to Jeongguk. She matches him perfectly, both so beautiful it hurts. It’s when she says something to him that you snap out of it. “When can I come over again?” Soft enough that you wouldn’t have heard if you hadn’t been paying attention.

Jeongguk’s toying with a bookmark stand, but you still see the quirk of his lips on his face when she says that.

All you can do is watch from the sidelines, so close yet somehow miles away as he says something back to her that gets drowned out by the thundering of your heart. You suppose it’s only natural for a guy like Jeongguk to flirt with girls, and he’d never said he only, exclusively wanted you. Really, you shouldn’t be as surprised.

But you are.

You’re surprised and, dare you say it, discouraged by the scene. He’d been so eager to finally win you over the other night, so much so that he made you feel special with every word he uttered and every look he gave you. You’d almost believed in his sincerity, but seeing him so easily converse with Jisoo about whatever past they have, served as a cold reminder that you and Jeongguk believe in two completely different relationship styles.

So you sit back down, gnawing on your lip as you try to do other duties, clicking around uselessly on your computer until eventually, Jisoo wanders back.

“Am I all set?” She smiles, and you can’t even find it in you to dislike her. You plaster on your best customer service smile, nodding and handing her back her library card. She thanks you three times over for the hassle, before waving goodbye to you and Jeongguk.

When the door falls shut behind her, you immediately drop the facade, though Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice. “Whew. She left a lot of work for you,” he laughs, eyeing the big stack beside you. You don’t even bother responding, as, at that moment, Namjoon returns from his lunch break.

(How convenient! You swear this fucker had a sixth sense for knowing when work was about to become hard.)

“Joon, I’m taking my break now,” you announce, and Namjoon stares at you like a deer in headlights, the last bite of a sandwich raised to his mouth.

“Uh,” he says, 140 IQ and all. He glances behind you at Jeongguk, who also is confused as all hell. “Okay, then.”

“___?” Jeongguk questions. You stalk off, pushing the gate away from the desk before bursting into the employee break room right across from it.

You cry the moment you get home, and Dahyun jumps ten feet out of her bed in shock. Her girlfriend, Momo, is sitting on the floor painting her toes. “Oh no,” she cries, sweet and understanding in all the ways Dahyun wasn’t. “My poor baby, what’s wrong?” She asks, waddling over in the my-nail-polish-hasn’t-dried-yet way to hug you.

“He was flirting with another girl,” you sob, dropping your bag by the door as Momo continues fawning over you, wiping your face with tissues. Dahyun gets out of bed, cracks her fingers, and promptly announces:

“I’m gonna kill him.”

Initially, you would have let her. But after a while you manage to calm down, loud Kim Kardashian sobs fading into tiny hiccups as the two of them coddle you. You tell them all about what terrible, good for nothing Jeongguk did, and in true female solidarity, they vow to kick his ass for you. Eventually, you settle on not whooping his ass, just cutting any romantic notions with him off to avoid further heartbreak. After all, you were kinda friends before you had your little crush revelation.

It’s later in the night when you announce you maybe got 2% over him, which the girls count as an absolute win, but then Jeongguk texts you and they groan at the way you jump for your phone.

jeon hey can we talk ? jeon did I do something wrong today? jeon felt like u were mad at me lol, and then u took a really long break and I had to leave for class so I didn’t even get to see u again jeon just wanna know if everything is ok

You read through the messages a couple times, and wonder if he’s being serious and didn’t see anything sus with his actions, or if he’s just toying with your emotions. Momo tugs Dahyun away to give you some sort of privacy, and then you’re left alone in your thoughts.

you everything’s fine ! you I just wasn’t feeling well lol

He responds right away.

jeon please don’t lie to me ___ jeon I know what you’re probably thinking and I just want to say it’s not like that

For some reason, him saying he knows you enough to know your thoughts irritates you. He obviously didn’t know shit about you if he was out here making you look like a clown. Your fingers type before you can even think.

you lmao you thats funny

jeon ?

you you most def do not know what I’m thinking so please just take my word when I say I felt sick

jeon lmao. what do you mean...

you you barely know ME besides the fact I work @ the library and dorm w Dahyun. don't say u know what I’m thinking, bc that would imply you know me on a closer level which you don’t

jeon ok seriously what's up with you? jeon im trying to make sure ur okay but ur just being difficult as fuck

you I’m not being difficult I’m just being real

jeon ur not tho, ur being defensive for no reason at all

you so? we’re barely friends and we barely know each other, how I feel is none of ur business

jeon lmfaoooo, so now we’re barely friends?

you thats what I said didnt I

You set your phone aside when you don’t immediately see the texting dots appear, assuming your dry response is probably enough to ward Jeongguk off. Your face feels warm, and you’re not sure if it’s from frustration or anger, but you guess it’s both. You’re not sure what set you off, the fact Jeongguk wants to act like he knows you, as if he wasn’t just chasing after you for some pussy, or the fact he wanted to act like some all-knowing being when it came to your feelings.

Eitherway, you’re extremely heated, grinding your teeth together when five minutes pass and he hasn’t texted you back. As if sensing the tension, Momo and Dahyun abruptly announce that they’re going to the ice cream place down the street, offering to bring something back to which you decline.

They leave, the heavy door slamming shut behind them. You get exactly two seconds of peace and quiet before your phone starts going off like crazy, all from Jeongguk.

jeon you’re starting to piss me off jeon drop the attitude baby. jeon bc I can be just as mean as u jeon and I won’t hesitate to make you cry

You blink. Every ounce of your body that had been consumed with an unknown anger slowly fades away as you stare wide eyed at Jeongguk’s messages. This was nothing like the Jeongguk you knew; he was soft and playful. He never raised his voice at you, and he’d never been anything less than a sweetheart.

you I don’t have an attitude

Is your feeble reply, too scared to reply to any other part of his message because you truly had no experience with this Jeongguk.

jeon so then put your big girl pants on and tell me what’s wrong jeon enough w this other shit

You sigh, snuggling into your covers as you absentmindedly tap the back of your phone.

you nothing is wrong

He doesn’t reply for a couple minutes again, but Dahyun sends you a text letting you know her and Momo decided to go to an event on the other side of campus, and telling you not to wait up. You reply back a simple ok right as Jeongguk responds.

jeon ok. so let me tell you what’s wrong then jeon you’re mad bc I was speaking to Jisoo today and she asked abt coming over jeon she comes over all the time jeon bc she is my roommates girlfriend

Your mind goes blank.

How embarrassing to have your mind read word for word, even more so when apparently, your worries weren’t even plausible. God. Instantly you feel stupid, replaying today’s entire scene and trying desperately to find something to catch Jeongguk in a lie. But other than asking that one question, there had been no other interesting talk between the two.

Your phone pings again, and you scramble to type a response, only to freeze at the words on the screen

jeon what blows me is that i don’t even owe u shit especially not an explanation jeon u don’t give 2 flying fucks about me. U just like the attention I give u and watching me make a fool of myself for u jeon I bend over backwards chasing after you, trying to get you to notice me, but you’ve done nothing to show me u feel the same jeon but you’re the one allowed to get mad when I speak to other girls? like u said “ that’s funny ”

Oh, no. Immediately your heart comes crashing down, and your fingers tremble as you watch Jeongguk slip away right before your eyes.

you Jeongguk you it’s not like that please you I like you so much, it’s just hard for me to

jeon to what? Get over your stupid stereotype of me?? jeon lmfao. Yeah that must be sooo hard jeon it’s whatever tho bc I had one of u too jeon my dream girl

This is not what you expected when he said he’d make you cry.

“Honey, you just have to talk to him,” Momo says the next morning, pressing a cucumber slice onto your eyes. You flinch at the initial iciness, but then relax when she brushes your hair out of your face. You’d gone to sleep a wreck, crying and sobbing as you thought desperately on how to win Jeongguk back, but everything he had said was true.

You’d done nothing but reject him since the beginning, had only just begun treating him as a friend, yet you instantly placed the blame on him at the first signs of trouble. God, he was right. You’d been selfish this entire time, and now he wasn’t responding to your messages anymore.

Dahyun nods from her cocoon at the foot of your bed. “I’m sure it’ll be easier in person, text convos are always weird,” she tries to comfort you. “But keep those slices on, those bags under your eyes are no joke.”

Momo smacks her calf. “Be nice! She’s going through a crisis.”

Right as you’re about to pay for your meal and sprint back to hide in your dorm, you spot a coconut head of hair facing the windows in the far corner of the dining hall. Fuck. Faintly, you can hear Dahyun’s voice shouting for you to stop being a pussy and go talk to him. You pause by the exit, one leg in one leg out, before saying fuck it. If worse comes to worse, you transfer schools and live with heartbreak and three cats for the rest of your life.

“I-Is someone sitting here?” You say before you can chicken out, and mentally curse yourself for stuttering. Oh, the social horror.

Jeongguk visibly jumps at your voice, wide doe eyes staring at you as if he expected to never see you again. After all, it’s been a week since your little fight, three days since you last tried texting him. He shakes his head, turning his attention back to his plate, but not before tugging the hoodie of his sweater over his head in a classic self defensive tactic.

You slide into the seat, staring at the plate of food like you’ve never seen it in your life, never mind the fact you picked it out less than fifteen minutes ago. You accidentally scrape your fork against the bottom, and the both of you cringe.

Jeongguk clears his throat, hands clasped together between his thighs as he stares out the window. “Don’t you have work?” He asks, voice raspy.

You shake your head. “I took the week off,” you confess, hoping he doesn’t press for more, because then you’d have to tell him your reasoning was due to heartache.

“Oh. That’s nice,” he says, and then you fall into a pit of awkward silence.

You push the food around on your plate, hoping he’ll say something, anything to save the two of you. In the end, he stays silent, sleepily glancing out the windows.

When you look closer, though, Jeongguk doesn’t look much hot than you. He’s got the same bags as you under his eyes, and his hair looks messier than his usual messy style. The fact he’s wearing his blue crocs out in public only confirms your theory.

After a solid five minutes of silence, even your hungry stomach managing to stay quiet, you decide enough is enough.

You shift ever so slightly, until you’re somewhat facing him and clear your throat; Jeongguk barely spares you a glance. “The Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People,” you blurt. Jeongguk blinks, face slowly morphing into one of confusion. Your cheeks feel hot under his gaze, having missed his brown eyes in the past week. “It’s your favorite one,” you announce. “Of the Captain Underpants books.”

After a moment, Jeongguk snorts, turning his attention away from you. “You’re not gonna win me over with that,” he says curtly, and your heart tightens at his emotionless tone of voice.

But you’ve done your research, and you’re not letting it go to waste. “You like George more than Harold because you think he contributes more. You love the characterization of Mr. Krupp the most, but you hate his theme song. You think the cover art could use some work, but you enjoy the overall art style. You hated the movie adaptation because Kevin Hart was in it,” you list, recalling every bit of information you’ve ever heard Jeongguk share about the stupid novels.

There’s a small quirk in the corner of Jeongguk’s lips, but it’s not the one you’re aiming for, so you switch tactics. “You hate the smell of bananas because you don’t think it should have a smell. You can’t put your left sock on first, because it’s bad luck to you. Your mom still washes your sheets for you. You know the lyrics to the original Dragon Ball series in three languages. You like wearing rings because it makes you feel like a pimp. You hate when Hoseok calls you the baby, because, according to you, you bench press his weight times two.”

“And a half,” he softly corrects, gazing at his hands, cheeks slightly tinged with red. You bite your lip, tentatively reaching a hand out to place on his arm. He looks at you right away, doe eyes so vulnerable and scared, like nothing you’ve ever seen before.

“I said we barely knew each other, but that was a lie,” you chuckle humorlessly, suddenly feeling your eyes tear up just remembering the conversation. “I know so much about you because I love listening to you talk. I love hearing your voice, and watching you wrestle with your friends, and fight with Dahyun. But I never tell you,” you bite your lip, blinking your eyes to backtrack the tears.

“And you’re right, I made you do all the work and I’m sorry, but I’m just so scared, Jeongguk,” you admit, voice cracking on his name. Your press a hand over your mouth, trying to collect yourself. Suddenly, a soft hand gently pats your thigh, and you find yourself reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “You can have anyone, Jeongguk, and you obviously know this,” you sigh. “I’m scared that I won’t be enough for you.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Jeongguk says, voice soft in the way you’ve missed so much. His hand, shaky and unsure, reaches up to brush a tear from the corner of your eye. “Look at me,” he commands, and you do. “I think we’re both stupid, because I feel like I’ve never been enough for you,” he confesses with a chuckle you try to replicate through sniffles.

Suddenly, he’s close, forehead pressed to yours. “And maybe it’s true,” he says. “You won’t be enough for me, and I’ve never been enough for you.” Your heart aches at his words. “But that’s okay,” he assures, squeezing your thigh between his fingers. “We don't have to be right now, but we can try.”

You nod, clamping down a sob. “God, I hate how optimistic you are,” you laugh, and he smiles, cupping your face in his hands.

“And I hate watching you cry,” he says, fingers wiping your cheeks. Before you can say what you’re thinking, he’s snatching the words right out of you, “yes, I know I said what I said, and I felt like such a dick typing it, I made Jimin flick my forehead right after.”

You giggle, and he beams that dreamy smile at you again. “I’m gonna kiss you now,” he announces, and your heart thunders in your chest faster than the wings of a hummingbird.

And he does.

“I don’t know, I think Kevin Hart sounds great in this,” you mention, and you feel the hard scoff Jeongguk lets out from your position cradled on his chest. “It’s not the worst thing in the world,” you defend.

“You’re sick,” he says, then pauses the Captain Underpants movie to engage in your third debate of the evening. You’re barely fifteen minutes in. “You think that weirdo did George justice? How? In what world?”

“Babe, it’s just a voice actor,” you placate. “No one died because Mr. Hart voiced him.”

Jeongguk splutters. “Mr. Hart—you don’t know this man! And something did die! My hopes for a sequel!”

You shush him, pressing your index finger to his lips. “Enough complaints, Rotten Tomatoes. We won’t even finish at this rate.”

Jeongguk hits play, grumbling under his breath.

Just as you’d predicted, you don’t even make it to the halfway mark before Jeongguk’s got you on your back, plush lips working yours until they’re bruised, tongue halfway down your throat. “The mov—“ you mumble.

“Fuck Mr. Hart,” Jeongguk says, kissing down your jaw like he can’t allow himself to miss a single spot. When he reaches the collar of your shirt, he wastes no time tugging it off of you. You whine, instinctively covering your chest. “Don’t be shy,” he chuckles, “here, look-,” he tugs his sweatshirt over his head, and you’re met with the strong muscles of his abdomen and pecs, “-twins.”

You roll your eyes. “Just kiss me, Mr. Jeon,” you tease, wrapping your hands around him to bring him closer. He chokes, and mumbles something about saving that for another time.

Before you know it, he’s kissing between your thighs, soft lips producing the most erotic sounds with every smooch he gives. “Can I take these off?” he asks, one lone finger creeping beneath the hem of your panties, right where your hip is. You nod, biting your lower lip hard the moment he begins sliding them down. His hands are soft as they glide over your legs, and when he finally tugs them away from your ankles, he wastes no time nudging your legs open for him.

“Don’t just look at it,” you whine, jabbing his ribs with your foot. Jeongguk grins.

“Sorry I stare, you’re just so pretty,” he smiles, and you muffle an annoyed groan into your palms. “Gonna eat you out now,” he announces, finally, and you uncover your face to watch the way he lowers his mouth onto your throbbing pussy, pink tongue coming out to lick at your clit.

The first press of the wet muscle has your toes curling, back arched. You’d been craving this for the longest, and just as you’d expect, it’s better than any fantasy. “Right there,” you moan, reaching down to tangle a hand in Jeongguk’s wavy hair, the other fisting the pillow beneath your head.

Jeongguk absorbs all your tiny reactions, toying with your clit just how you like it. He rolls his tongue around it, making sure every part has been in his mouth at least once. When he suctions his lips around it and moans like this was getting him off, your body melts. “Fuck,” you cry out, your thighs quivering around his head. Part of you wants to slam them shut, hide from his tongue and all its devious ministrations. But the other part has never felt so good in your entire life.

When Jeongguk decides he’s pampered your swollen clit enough, he gives it one final kiss, wet and slippery. “Good?” He smiles up at you, lips slick with your juices. You nod, probably already looking fucked out. He smirks at your response, and your heart backflips in your chest, when he reaches up to knot your fingers together.

He kisses your knuckle and you whine. “How many fingers do you want?” He asks, and you blurt out the first number you can think of.

“Eight,” you choke, and immediately flush in embarrassment afterwards.

Jeongguk laughs, dropping his head to your thigh in a fit of giggles. He looks absolutely ethereal there, soft brown hair sprawled across your skin like an angel. “Smaller numbers, baby, please,” he chuckles. You shrug, so he decides for you. “How about I just use my tongue instead?” You think you might love him.

He settles back down, lips pressing against your mound one final time, before he’s diving in. You mewl right away, body becoming one with the mattress beneath you at the first brush of his tongue.

“Oh, Jeongguk,” you gasp, hands burying themselves in his scalp again. He hums in response, and the sound has every nerve in your body lighting up. His tongue prods against your folds, slowly licking his way deeper and deeper into your cunt.

The worst comes when he sighs against your pussy, literally sighs, like he’s so blessed to be there. “You’re s-so good at this,” you cry out, trembling fingers twisting his hair so tightly that you manage to pull him off just an inch. He pinches your thigh in warning, before stuffing his tongue into you again, absolutely plunging into the depths of your hole.

Just when you think he couldn’t possibly outdo this, he jolts up suddenly, nose brushing against your clit. His eyes go wide for the slightest second, as if he really hadn’t planned that, before flickering at you.

To your utter embarrassment, he takes one long whiff, eyes rolling to the back of his head in pleasure.

He pulls away from your dripping hole. “You smell so fucking good,” he informs you, spreading a fiery blush across your cheeks.

“Thanks?” You say, and he grins, shuffling onto his knees all of a sudden. You mope the loss of his tongue on your pussy, but forget about it the second he reaches for his desk and returns with a condom.

He tears the foil packet open with gentle hands, eyes weirdly zeroed in on that only. You nudge his hip, and when he meets your gaze, he instantly averts it. Like he’s suddenly shy.

Oh he was gonna be the death of you.

You tug his boxers down and get to revel in more of those bashful glances, but you soon forget about that when he grips his rock hard member in one hand, jacking it to its full potential. “Ready?” He says, one hand gripping your hip, the other his cock. You nod, and then shift up onto your elbows to watch him sink into you.

You can barely keep your eyes open, the second the tip of his cock brushes against you your eyes roll back into your head. You moan, letting yourself flop back against the mattress, chest heaving with each inch he sinks in. “Fuck, you’re big,” you cry, biting down on your fist.

Jeongguk chuckles. “Yeah?” He grunts, and then stills as he waits for you to catch your breath. He gives you exactly four seconds before he’s thrusting the remainder of the way in.

Your back arches off the bed, a high-pitched moan ripping itself out of your throat. “Jeon!”

“Relax, relax,” he croons, releasing your hip to lean over you, peppering your face in kisses. You’re heaving for air, so overwhelmed with emotions. “You’re doing so good for me, doll,” he comforts, kissing every inch of you until you regain your wits. “So wet and warm for me, you have no idea how bad I wanna just ram my cock into your tight, little pussy.”

You huff, heart still skipping by the time you grow familiar with the sheer size of his dick inside of you. When you’ve finally come back down to earth, eyes fluttering at Jeongguk, he gives you one affirmative nod before he begins really fucking you.

He starts carefully, like he’s afraid he’ll break you with one push. You’re thankful that he’s at least somewhat aware of his own bear strength, but you’d prefer if he picked up the pace. Before you can file a complaint, he’s hiking your thigh up onto the crease of his elbow, and ramming himself into you.

“Could already hear some smart ass comment coming,” he groans, snapping his hips into you with a newfound intensity. You moan, trying desperately to reciprocate some movements back.

“Wasn’t gonna say anything,” you gasp, fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders, scratching lone lines down his back. Jeongguk snorts, pushing in, and then grinding your pelvises together deliciously.

He rolls his eyes, then chooses that exact moment to capture your lips in his. You groan softly, body boneless beneath him at the gentle way he kisses you, like his entire life depends on this single kiss.

When he finally releases your lips, he’s huffing against your mouth, hips having not stopped a single time. You know he’s tired and so riled up; you’d felt the brush of his half-hard member from the moment you first laid down to watch the movie.

But Jeongguk was a gentleman, through and through. You’d felt the brush of his cock, and heard the thundering of his heart, but he hadn’t pushed you further a single time. He basked in your presence, waiting until you crept your hand beneath his shirt to finally pounce.

“I’m close,” you tell him, reaching down to toy with your clit. Jeongguk had treated it like the finest treasure earlier, but now your gentle caresses feel mediocre compared to the way he’d touched it. Jeongguk nods, the tips of his wavy hair sticking to his forehead and the back of his neck. You abandon your quest to finish yourself off and focus on brushing his hair away from his face. “You’re so good to me,” you moan, lightly picking the corner of his mouth. “Don’t deserve you.”

He rams his cock into you, the arm not holding up your thigh weakening, until he’s leaning on his forearm over you. “Don’t say that,” he chokes out, and you wonder if his orgasm is as close as yours.

A particular brush of his cock against your cervix has you seeing stars, thighs clenching around him. “Just a little bit—more,” you beg, body writhing beneath him, pushing yourself up to meet his thrusts.

“So perfect,” he praises, kissing along your jaw. “Come for me, baby.”

You nod, but not before cupping his face in your hands, and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. He makes a soft little sound of surprise, smile pressed against your mouth, and the heat in your abdomen finally explodes. You disassociate for all of one second, consumed in a wave of bliss never before heard of, his pistoning thrusts working you through it.

You nearly cry from how good it feels, throwing an arm around his neck to pull him closer. You’re babbling like an idiot, saying shit you won’t remember later. What you do recall is the chuckles Jeongguk had muffled against your neck, hips never faltering as he chased his own high.

He finds it a few beats later, the muscles of his back suddenly going rigid. He moans your name, somehow making it sound like it’s the best song in the world, before his hips begin stuttering in their mission. He eventually goes slack, slumped over you without completely crushing you beneath the weight of his muscles.

By the time you’ve fully recovered, he’s sliding out of you. Right as you go to speak, he stuffs two fingers into your sensitive cunt. “Jeon!” You wail, reaching down to push him away before you come again.

He snickers. “What? It’d be a waste to let it out,” he says, letting go when he’s decided he’s done his job, popping the digits into his mouth. You groan, trying to quell the excitement that builds in your chest from watching him suck your cum off his fingers.

“You’re the worst,” you sigh, snatching his t-shirt off the edge of the bed to tug over your bare form. Jeongguk tugs his underwear back on, retrieving yours from where he’d flung them across the room. When you’re settled into the blankets again, you’re not expecting the laptop to return as well. You raise a questioning eyebrow.

Jeongguk shrugs, nestling into your chest. “Hit play, this is when Professor Poopy Pants begins attacking the city.”

#kpopwonderlandtag #ksmutclub #jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #jjk♡#jeongguk #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #mine

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jasmehraj · 4 years

Text

We are just friends

A song fic where Adrien is an honorary brother and Gabriel is an honorary uncle. Yes you read it right. Friends by Anne Marie and Marshmallow

_______________________________________________________________

Ohhh Oh ohhh woh,

oh ohhh ohh woh,

Marinette was happily singing while doing embroidery of beautiful tulips 🌷on her newest commission. The trap door opened to reveal Adrien but she didn't notice. He came from behind her and covered her eyes,"Adrien let go, this commission is very important."

"Don't you like to see your romantic soulmate M'lady." Her eye twitched. She sighed and covered her face with her hands.

Ooohhh oohh oohh woh,

Oooo oooo Oooo ohh Woh.

Damian had just landed in Paris to see his beloved. She of course didn't know. He made his way towards Le Grande Hotel of Paris. He was standing tapping his foot on the floor impatiently while Dick was checking in.

"Damikins." A voice exclaimed. He growled in frustration and dodged as yellow blur tried to hug him. Chloe Bourgeois was kissing the ground as she got up and groaned with pain.

"This is not a way to greet me damikins."

You say you love me,

I say you crazy,

We're noting more than friends.

"Adrien stop that." She said clearly frustrated as Adrien confessed for a hundredth time this week. "Did you not like the flowers M'lady? Or do you want a real kiss instead of a chocolate kisses?" Adrien had a cheeky smile on his face. They had revealed each other's identity in the last battle. Who happened to be her honorary uncle Gabriel. Adrien is still stuck on the soulmate thing. She sighed a bone crushing sigh.

"Bourgeois, we were over this. I do not love you and you do not love me." His patience was wearing thin. "Oh come on damikins, who else will be good enough for you?" Dick was trying to control his laughter but he was miserably failing. The traitor Damian thought.

You're not my lover,

More like a brother.

I know you since we were like 10.

Marinette had first met Adrien when she was 10. Her mother came with him to get some pastries from the most famous bakery of Paris. They became friends quickly. She often went to play with him to his eyes where she met Gabriel. She gushed about how she wanted to be a fashion designer like him someday. Both Emilie and Gabriel had smiled at her. They both winner each other's families heart very easily. "Adrien you are like a brother to me I am like a sister to you and as a matter of fact I have a boyfriend." He was getting difficult to handle. "Keep telling yourself that M'lady." He winked and grinned. She sighed, today was going to be a very long day.

Damian met Chloe at a gala. No matter how many times he tried to lose her, she somehow came back he is surprised that he didn't kill her as he was fresh out of the league. "I have a girlfriend bourgeois and she is much more worthy than you." This was getting ridiculous. Normally he wouldn't insult her but he was just so done. "I am much more worthy than anyone else on the planet ditch her." She said flipping her hair. "No." He plainly replied and walked towards his room.

YEAH,

Lila was getting annoying with time and her classmates also showed their level of stupidity. So, she pulled out the big guns. She recorded her lies, her threats and the amount of evidence on ladyblog was laughable if not sad. She called her clients who happened to be the people that she lied about. She and all her clients threw restraining orders and law suits on her face. She was confirmed to be working with hawkmoth. If Marinette used kwamis help to record her conversation with hawkmoth, well, no one needs to know that. Lila spilled the beans that hawky was actually uncle Gabriel.

They were made aware of the situation of Paris by Ladybug. One day when they were casually sitting in the cave when an emergency alert came from the computer. "It's the watchtower." They all went through the Zeta, only to see a girl in bright red suit handing green lantern his ass. That's how he met her.

Don't mess it up,talking that shit,

Only gonna push me away,

That's it.

She was getting anxious with every growing second. It took everything in her yo not punch him right there, in his pretty little face. She took deep breaths to calm down. Sure she loved him. He is her best friend but this was getting ridiculous. "Adrien get out. I need to finish this commission today."

Damian glared at Chloe once more as she tried to kiss him again. "Stop that Bourgeoise." "Stop what Damikins?" "I have been blessed with a name, use it." He went inside his room and locked it. "Having problems, Little D?" The idiot dick had the audacity to laugh. "Tt. I am going to take Habibiti to a date tomorrow. It's our 3 year anniversary." He plainly said ignoring the starry look in his brother's eyes. "But I need you to make sure that Bourgeois doesn't crash my date....." He added reluctantly. "The magic words." Dick said not looking up from his phone, trying to look serious but the smirk on his face gave it away. "Tt. Please Grayson. Happy now." He growled out. "Yes." He said, still grinning like an idiot. Damian huffed and started his preparation for his date.

When you say you love me,

That makes me CRAZY.

Here we go again.....

Marinette was sewing when there was a knock on the trap-door. "M'lady, here you go." Marinette whipped her head to face him. He was standing there, covered in flour with odd shaped macaroons in his hands. She decided not to comment. She got back to work. He looked at her clearly not happy, "Purrrrincess, I made macaroons for you." Still nothing. He frowned,"Purrincess." "I'mmabusy. Getlost." He didn't understand her word vomit."Repeat it again bugaboo." She started the music and sang:

Damian was reserving everything for his anniversary when Chloe came in. No, he didn't give her permission. He simply said,"Get out." She looked like she was going to argue, but he threw a bat-glare her way which made her recoil a bit. Key word A BIT. He stood up and used his finger to point at her as he sang:

Don't go look at me

With that look in your eye.

"But M'lady."

"Damikins, I-"

They continued, shutting them:

You're really ain't going

away without a fight!

"Marinette you want me to sing with you?" She ran a hand through her hair.

"Oh Damikins stop it." He growled.

And they continued singing.

You can't be reasoned with,

I'm done being polite.

"Marinette your voice is beautiful. You wrote it yourself?" His comment fell on deaf years.

"Damikins. Where did you get this stupid song from?"

They continued singing as they pulled out their phones.

I've told you

1,2,3,4,5,6 thousand times!

She made gestures with her hands. Her phone tinged. It was message from Damian,"Be at the Eiffel tower at 7 tomorrow morning." She smiled.

Damian's phone tinged with a message from his malak. "Ok , but why?"

Chloe chose the moment to interrupt but before she could say anything, his face formed a scowl. He started singing again.

Haven't I made it obvious?

Marinette sang:

Haven't I made it clear?

They both sang with the music. Equally furious. They pushed the respective intruders towards the door.

Want me to spell it out for you?

F-R-I-E-NDS

Adrien took her advice and leaved her alone but she knew that's not the case, he's sitting on the balcony, listening to her. Alya entered her room for girl's night along with Rose, Alex and Juleka. She sang loudly. Her friends humming.

Chloe did leave but Damian sang to himself as the music continued to play. Dick also humming.

Haven't I made it obvious?(Oooh oooh ooh woh)

Haven't I made it clear?(Oooh ooh ooh woh)

Want me to spell it out for you?(Oooh ooh ooh woh)

F-R-I-EN-D-S(Oooh ooh ooh woh)

F-R-I-EN-D-S

Adrien left at that and she sighed in relief. She told her friends about her latest commission and they chatted, played games and soon it was 1 am. Marinette shot,"Guys! we need to sleep. I have to go to Eiffel Tower at 7 tomorrow." "Why girl?" Alya questioned. "No why's or but's sleep now." They all obeyed. No one had enough strength to deal with Mari's wrath as they put it.

Damian was panicking. She is not going to get mad. Will she? He sighed. "Baby bird. Go to sleep. You are going to miss your own date." Dick warned. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Then he went to bed.

Have you got no shame?

You looking insane,

Turning up at my door.

They were sleeping when there was a knock on the trap-door. Marinette was a heavy sleeper, so she didn't wake up by it but Alix did. "Who there?" She sleepily mumbled. "I'm Adrien." The voice, no, Adrien said. "Everyone is sleeping. It's a girls night. Go away sunshine." Alya mumbled from her seat. "But-" Rose woke up and sat at her spot,"You should go Adrien you can hang out with Marinette later." She said in her usual squeaky voice. "We don't want to here." Juleka added.

Damian was peacefully sleeping but it was interrupted by a knock on the door. Both Damian and Dick woke up immediately and assessed the surroundings for any threats. There was another knock on the door followed by a loud,"Damikins..." Both of them sighed.

It's 2 in the morning,

The rain is pouring,

Haven't we been here before?

Marinette woke up to many voices, likely arguing over something. She rubbed her eyes,"What's wrong." She sleepily said between a yawn. "It was Adrien." Alya said. Marinette's eyes shot open as she carefully listened to a light thud on the balcony. It was probably raining outside. She sighed as she went to the balcony, her friends following,"Chat Noir. Last. Warning." She deadpanned. "Ummm... purrincess. I wanted to ask if we could play UM-" He never finished the sentence. Marinette threw a pot on his head. He groaned as he stood up, only to see Marinette standing there, eyes closed WITH ANOTHER POT IN HAND. He ran with his tail between his legs. "Let's go back to sleep." She said yawning and they went back to bed.

Damian didn't open the door,"What do you want?" Chloe's shrill voice came from the other side,"I had a nightmare." "Do you think I care?" He replied, venom lacing his voice. "I am scared of the lightning." She was trying to be intimidating but she was failing. MISERABLY. "We both know that is not true." He deadpanned. "Open please." Damian ignored her and went to his bed. "I have important places to be tomorrow." He said as he pulled out his headphones and played soft music. Dick doing the same with an equally grumpy face. She left eventually and they both dumped the headphones to get some peaceful sleep.

Don't mess it up,

Talkin' that shit,

Only gonna push me away,

That's it!

Damian woke up at about 5 am. He then told Dick his plan and left for Eiffel tower at 5:30 am to set his date.

Marinette was sleeping peacefully. A package arrived her home. Sabine came upstairs and called her,"Marinette there's a package from your boyfriend." Tikki nuzzled her chosen's cheek. She then said in her ear,"Marinette you're late." She immediately shot up. She glared at Tikki but the voice of her mother came again,"Marinette, sweety. There's a package from Damian. Now, fully awake she went downstairs.

Have you got no shame?

You looking insane,

She was greeted by Adrian as she reached her mother. She groaned.

She cut whatever he was going to say,"Have you got no shame you lookin insane. Here we go again." She didn't even look up. Adrien closed his mouth and went back through the way he came from.

Here we go again.

She wrote a note for her friends about where she is going. She opened a package to see a beautiful dress with a note.

7 AM Angel ;)🗼

She hurried to try the dress. She came out,"You are looking beautiful my baby."

Her mother kissed her cheek,"Thank you Mamman."

Her mother did her hair. She was looking like some Chinese princess.

So don't go,

Look at me,

with that look in your eye....

She started her walk towards Eiffel tower. Adrien came just in time for all the girls to come down.

"Sabine, Where is Marinette?"Sabine smiled at them and she said,"She left a note for you."

They nodded and picked the note from the table.

It read:

I am going to the Eiffel Tower. Dami has planned something for me. I don't know what but don't follow me. I can tell he wants to do something special for our 3 year anniversary.

Rose said,"We should go to our home then. We shouldn't disturb them."

Alya nodded,"Let's get change."

Adrien heard everything (well, the fact that she was at the Eiffel Tower) and decided to go after his princess.

You really ain't going away

Without a fight......

You can't be reasoned with, I'm done being polite.....

I've told you, 1,2,3,4,5,6 thousand times!

In the way Adrien was met with Chloe. She was also looking for someone.

"Hey Chloe." Adrien greeted her.

"Hey Adrikins. Where are you going this early?" Chloe asked, eyebrow raised.

"I am going to find Marinette. To the Eiffel Tower." He grinned.

Chloe smiled,"Of course the Eiffel Tower. Let's go together. I am loong forn Damikins. He must have gone there."

They both started their walk to the Eiffel tower together.

Haven't I made it obvious?

Haven't I made it clear?

Want me to spell it out for you,

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Marinette was about to reach Eiffel tower when someone covered her eyes. She giggled, "Dami."

And threw herself into his arms.

"You came here, for me?" She looked at him with stars in her eyes. "Of course Angel. Happy 3 year anniversary." He kissed her forehead.

"You are looking stunning, angel." He said and felt his cheeks burning hot. "Not so bad yourself handsome." She winked, cheeks dusted pink. She did a twirl."The dress is beautiful Demon."

He chuckled ,"I had to find something that could get approved by MDC. I am honoured that you like it.Bbbbbut you can't go further without this." He pulled out his handkerchief and tied it on her eyes. "No peeking, angel." He said making her giggle.

He led her to the elevator. They reached the top of the tower neither noticing that Chloe and Adrien had seen them. He led her to the special place. He untied the handkerchief. She gasped.

Haven't I made it obvious,

Haven't I made it clear

Adrien and Chloe followed them up,"Why is Maribug with Damikins?" Adrien tried to remember the note but couldn't for some reason. He only paid attention to the fact that she was at the Eiffel Tower. He frowned,"I just heard that she is going to Eiffel Tower and ran to catch up with her before she gets away." "She always denies the fact that you are dating and you are the opposite. What type of relationship do you have?" Chloe huffed at the antics of her two best friends.

They reached the top. Marinette and Damian were standing there. Marinette had covered her mouth with her hands. Damian was smirking. Their was a blanket set up with a pot with beautiful flowers in the middle and a picnic basket. The sun was rising giving a magical effect to such simple thing."It's beautiful dove. Thank you."

They were very close for both of their tastes. Adrien shouted, "You are looking beautiful M'lady."

Chloe took this as an invitation to speak,"Damikins what are you doing with Mari? What are you doin' with Damikins Maribug?"

Both their expressions became dangerous. Damian started,"Haven't I made it obvious?"

Marinette said,"Haven't I made it clear?"

Then they started singing.

Damian, Want me to spell it out for you?

Marinette, (to spell it out for you?)

Damian, F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Marinette, F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Damian nd Marinette, F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Damian, That's how you fuc*ing spell friends,

Damian nd Marinette, F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Marinette, Get that shit inside your head.

Chloe, No.....

Adrien, no.....

Damian, Yeah...

Marinette, ah...

Damian nd Marinette, F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Damian nd Marinette, We're just friends.

Daminette, So don't go look at me with that look in your eye!

Daminette, You really ain't,

Daminette, going away,

Daminette,without a fight.....

Daminette, You can't be reasoned with,

Daminette, I'm done being polite.....

Daminette, I've told you,

Daminette, 1,2,3,4,5,6 thousand times!

Marinette, Haven't I made it obvious?

Damian, (hasn't she made it obvious?)

Marinette, Haven't I made it clear?

Damian, (She made it very clear?)

Marinette, Want me to spell out for you? Damian, (yeah)

Marinette, F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Damian, (I said F-R-I-E-N-D-S)

Damian, Haven't I made it obvious?

Marinette, (He made it obvious.)

Damian, Haven't I made it clear?

Marinette, (He made it very clear.)

Damian, Want me to spell it out for you?

Damian, F-R-I-E-N-D-S

Marinette, F-R-I-EN-D-S

Daminette, Ohhh oh ohhh oh ohhh oh oh ah

Ah ooh ah, ahhh oh ahh oh

"We are just friends." They finished. Realization came on their faces,"You are dating." They said at the same time. "Sorry Maribug. I didn't know that. A little someone told me that he was dating with you."Chloe said, glaring at Adrien. He coiled into himself. She grabbed his arm and went towards the elevator,"And Damian. I approve. I am going to give you a shovel talk when you come back, treat my BFF right." When they went away. Damian and Marinette burst into laughing."Shall we continue?"She said.

"Of course,"He replied. They leaned closer to kiss. They were kissing unaware of the rest of the world when they heard the click of a camera.

They turned towards the noise to see Red Robin taking photos along with Nightwing, Red Hood, Black Bat, Spoiler, Batman heck even Oracle was there. "I am not going to be surprised if Alfred is here too." Marinette said. They both glared at them. But they didn't even flinch. "No matter how much we try they are not going away." Damian said sighing."I bet they recorded everything. Plus point is we will get adequate photos because Drake is a good photographer."

Marinette also sighed,"Let's eat and hope they will not come nearer." They didn't. Marinette and Damian clinked their glasses together,"Happy anniversary malak." "Joyeux anniversaire mon démon"

________________________________________________________________

Joyeux anniversaire mon démon: Happy anniversary my demon Malak: angel Habibiti: beloved.

Phew! This is hella long. It's my first song-fic I hope you like it. I will make outtakes or AU versions of this if I get time which I don't have. I did my best, well the best I could make in 2 days. I am very exhausted. Love Maribat. Love, Jasmehraj.

#Daminette #Maridami #maribat #I love maribat #Jasmehraj #song fic #adrien #damian #marinette #We are just friends #Batman #Ladybug #chloe #angel x demon

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thanksjro · 4 years

Text

More Than Meets the Eye #14- Everything’s Coming Up Overlord

Our issue opens up with a prologue.

Two miles below the surface of the moon, two miners are going at it, as they discuss the merits of their respective tools. As the guy with the pickaxe hits the floor below him, he exposes a bright green light hiding in the ground.

The miners, amazed, make a call to their boss, Momus; the very same Momus who would one day become a Senator and eventually be killed by the Senate for his Decepticon sympathies.

Momus, once made aware of the situation, makes his own call to the Functionist Council, siting that a Code 113- because of COURSE it is- is taking place. The Council responds by shutting down the mine and sending a representative to check things out. The representative claims his name is Three of Twelve, but I know The One Electronic when I friggin’ see him.

The green light, once authenticated, is scheduled for retrieval and “nurturing”. Because Momus is in charge of the mine, and this green light is a super big deal, Three of Twelve grants him the status of Alt-Mode Exempt; he can basically do whatever the hell he wants, free of Functionist meddling. Dang, Whirl should have tried digging one of these things up! Would’ve saved him a lot of heartache.

Guys, c’mon, it’s Momus! You ought to know by now that he’ll fuck you, but he doesn’t fucking need you. You ain’t getting a thing, and you also won’t have any time to unionize, because you’re going to be dead by the end of the day.

That green light turned out to be a spark, the sort of “soul” that a Transformer has at the core of their being. That murderous little ball of light is a robot zygote.

…They really let the guy with the well-documented thing with pregnancy handle the reproductive aspect of the world building, huh?

Anyway, it’s time to see what Milne’s take on Last Stand of the Wreckers looks like.

Wow, that is just the uncoolest line. I mean, wow.

Make note of Overlord’s lips here. We’ll be seeing a lot more of them once the lady robots make an appearance.

Overlord makes quick work of Springer, punching him into the dirt, and we see someone who most certainly was NOT present for the events of Last Stand.

We do that, jumping to the part where Ironfist explodes Overlord with his mind.

He didn’t say that! My immersion in this story about giant space robots is broken!

This obviously leads to Overlord being reduced to a flaming skeleton, and he screams at Chromedome to scoot his boot so he can get at Verity. Chromedome refuses, antagonizes the guy who’s at least three times his size, then initiates a scene change with a literal snap of his fingers.

Lot of good reference material for Chromedome in this issue. Artists take note.

Here is our first taste of mnemosurgery on someone who isn’t dead or dying, as well as our first taste of Chromedome having something resembling self confidence.

Outside of Overlord’s brain foyer, Chromedome stands on a forklift, with both of his horrid, needly hands punched into his patient’s head. Overlord is still very much in the position we saw him in issue #6, hooked up in a full body harness in something called a slow cell.

Overlord, still very sad that he got stood up by Megatron, tells Chromedome to kill him. Chromedome refuses, saying that he wouldn’t even if he could.

Hey, Chromedome. Maybe don’t tell this guy you can’t kill him. Just seems like maybe not the best idea.

Chromedome gets back to work, getting perhaps a bit too comfortable as he pulls himself up a chair from- I dunno, Overlord’s brain aether.

This really is your element, isn’t it, Chromedome? You’re just straight-up power tripping right now. No wonder Rewind has to literally beg you to not do this.

We jump into another one of Overlord’s memories, where’s he’s getting his shit absolutely destroyed by Megatron in a gladiator fight. We get our first taste of information creep as a concept, which is referred to as eidetic decay here.

I wanna know what the purple guy with the blue visor’s face situation is. Don’t think we’ve run into anyone like that before. It’s a little concerning, if I’m being honest.

We move on to the next memory, but it looks like “same shit, different day” is a huge part of who Overlord is as an individual, because it’s just more of him getting whaled on by Megatron.

After this uncomfortably intimate moment, Megatron puts his bucket helmet back on and states that Overlord is finally “ready.”

Ready for what, you might ask?

You remember that obscene sort of fascination of Roberts’ that we keep running into? We’re about to delve into some of that right now. But first- the set up.

We’re in a new memory, in a place called the Foundry, and Overlord’s been stripped down to his robotic skivvies and placed in a large glass tank. Megatron walks up, berating Rossom (of Rossom’s Trinity fame) and saying “to hell with safety protocols, I’m Megatron and I say we make Overlord into a Phase Sixer, meh meh meh.” Shockwave is there.

Rossom’s concerned about this project, because A) they’re going to be using the last of their ununtrium to do this, and B) if it works, Overlord’s going to be the strongest motherfucker ever, and he’ll probably try to kill Megatron.

Ununtrium is something that actually exists in the real world, though it in no way works like it does in MTMTE. Ununtrium is actually an outdated name for the element Nihonium, a synthetic chemical element, whose most stable form has a half-life of 10 seconds. It has no known properties or qualities, because it simply doesn’t last long enough to be studied that in-depth. So why use this element in the story? The answer lies in the placeholder name itself. Ununtrium was named so because it’s the 113th element in the periodic table.

In other words, Ununtrium was used because Roberts is a massive nerd.

Because Overlord’s a Point One Percenter, and in fact that murderous little spark we saw at the beginning of the issue, he ought to be perfectly fine. Shockwave has planted a killswitch in the guy’s brain in case he tries something funny on Megatron.

The narrative is interrupted for a moment as Chromedome chastises Overlord for being kind of sleepy in his memories. Then Chromedome lets something slip that he probably really shouldn’t have.

With the contingencies in place, it’s time to get the Phase Sixer show on the road.

Well, there it is.

Oh, and a bit more.

Overlord thanks Rossom for all his hard work by crushing his skull, and thus the story of how he became a Phase Sixer draws to a close.

Megatron, you had literally zero reason to say that. This is how you can tell Roberts wrote this scene to fuck with people.

Back in the white void, Chromedome’s patting himself on the back over a job well done. In the background, Overlord’s smiling.

It’s never a good thing when Overlord smiles.

If Chromedome had just kept things professional and didn’t keep bringing up their shared history, Overlord wouldn’t be able to have another flashback- this one’s got Starscream and Thundercracker in it! No word on where Skywarp’s gotten to. Skywarp doesn’t get a ton of attention in IDW Transformers.

The three of them are bombing what appears to be a wasteland, on word from Decepticon intel that there’s something worth looking for in the area. Turns out, intel was right.

Chromedome, suddenly antsy, pulls them out of the memory, demanding to know why this is happening. Overlord just smiles.

Oh, hey Brainstorm. What brings you to the New Institute?

Chromedome, your war crimes are showing! Turns out Mnemosurgery and Shadowplay are the same fucking thing.

As Chromedome assists in what appears to be an empurata in progress, he’s shot in the gut, as present-Chromedome screams and reaches for himself.

Overlord and company release Soundwave, who is in no way grateful for the assist. They leave quickly, Overlord taking Trepan as a souvenir, because that’s just the kind of guy he is. He kidnaps people.

As Chromedome in the past lays bleeding out on the floor, Chromedome in the present decides it’s time to share his feelings.

Prowl did Chromedome a solid after Zeta came into Primehood, and got him an internship at the New Institute. The one time Prowl was nice to his partner, and it’s to hook him up with a job that can and will kill him the more frequently he does it.

Chromedome was so good at poking people in the brain, he got a nickname out of it. That nickname? Chromedome.

Yeah, his real name is Tumbler.

Chromedome remembers himself, and the fact that they shouldn’t be seeing any of this, because Overlord is the patient and he wasn’t there for this info dump.

Overlord’s still smiling.

Overlord may be a lot of things, but he’s no dummy. He took Trepan with him to learn mnemosurgery, in an attempt to learn the secrets of the Achilles Virus Shockwave planted in his brain. He didn’t complete his training, because Megatron caught wind, but major smart boy points to you, Overlord.

Now he’s going to use his own mnemosurgery skills to bust on out of here.

Chromedome, Overlord has been killing fools since literally before he was born, and you basically handed him a rope to hang you with.

SMASH CUT TO:

There he is, Cybertron’s #1 Bastard Bachelor! Of course he’s involved with this!

All that stuff Rung told Fort Max in issue #6, about Overlord’s spark being in a whiteout vacuum? A giant ruddy lie fed to the public, to give High Command a chance to figure out what they were going to do with him.

Prowl, they are MARRIED, you giant space ass.

Prowl has a theory that Phase Sixers aren’t born, but made. We as the readers, of course, already know this, but we’ve got to know where we’ve been before we can figure out where we’re going. He’s invited Chromedome to his office to ask him to mnemosurgery Overlord up and get the secret Krabby Patty formula Phase Sixer recipe.

Chromedome, doesn’t want to do that, though. He wants to live in a peaceful world, where Rewind doesn’t have to worry about his impending, work-related death.

How exactly mnemosurgery kills practitioners is never exactly explained. I, however, have a theory.

We’ve already established that if you inject enough times, you start getting crossover with your patients’ memories in your own brain. We’ve seen it happen with Chromedome in the Annual, and it was vivid enough that he wasn’t sure if the memory of committing suicide by way of Gideon’s Glue was his own or not.

Because Transformers are very similar in bodily functions to humans- because this isn’t hard sci-fi- it stands to reason that more than just memories reside in the brain module. The brain controls movement, organ regulation, chemical balances, all that jazz.

Where does the line for memory get drawn? Who’s to say that bodily functions wouldn’t start bleeding through the connection? If you can have memories bleed through and have to double-check with someone on whether or not they’re yours, who’s to say that it can’t happen with other parts of the brain? Like programming for your robotic organs? If a patient clearly remembers how hard their fuel pump was going during a stressful situation, does that stress response translate for the surgeon’s body type, or does it stay at what it had been for the original brain?

If Chromedome’s fuel pump starts going at a rate designed for a guy the size of Fort Max, it’s probably going to explode.

Getting back to the story at hand, Chromedome says “thanks, but no thanks” and is walking out of the room, when Prowl does something kind of stupid:

He starts threatening to blackmail the guy who has pointy mind-wiper fingers and doesn’t really like him all that much.

This is one of the larger seeds involved with a dropped story plot, in which it would have been revealed that Chromedome had been part of the mission that led to Dominus Ambus’ disappearance. It was seeded very early on in MTMTE, but never came to fruition, mainly due to the fact that Roberts didn’t want to give Chromedome and Rewind’s relationship that much of a trench to jump over. I mean, how would you even handle that, finding out that your current husband was complacent in the disappearance of your first husband? It’d be messy. Way too messy to be wrapped up cleanly. There’s other aspects of that plot thread that I’ll cover later on, but trust me when I say it would have needed its own spin-off series to be properly handled and resolved. A spin-off series that it wouldn’t have gotten.

As it currently stands, the interpretation of what exactly Chromedome did that would warrant him getting cagey here is wide open. Was he involved with the Ostaros situation in Sins of the Wreckers? Did he have a past with a Decepticon that Rewind wouldn’t have approved of? Was he a Decepticon at some point? Does he not like dogs? It’s up to YOU, dear reader!

Prowl’s threat goes about as well as you’d expect.

I mean, really, what did you THINK was going to happen?

Chromedome wipes the memory of making the threat, as well as the information that made the threat possible, then leaves, and Prowl is none the wiser.

Overlord’s not done yet, though. He moves on to the next memory, which involves a giant, naked human. Chromedome enters Brainstorm’s lab, while he’s hard at work on the holomatter avatars. Brainstorm has stolen Perceptor’s sniper sight and is wearing it on his head. Why does he have it? What purpose does it serve him? Who knows!

Drift is accompanying Chromedome on this little visit, and thus the identity of the mystery door-whisperer from issue #12 is revealed.

Watch out for his hands, Drift.

The mystery of the oddly threatening medical drone is also revealed- Brainstorm had them all loaded up with a speech recognition program that would alert Drift whenever Overlord was mentioned.

With introductions to Project: Total Insanity out of the way, it’s time to get technical.

Five seconds for Overlord is thirty minutes for the rest of the Lost Light. In theory, if he somehow broke loose from his bindings and escaped his cell, they’d have plenty of time to scramble the troops and get ready for him.

Let’s see how that theory works when applied to real world testing, shall we?

Overlord gets the code to the cell, thanks to this merry little jaunt inside Chromedome’s brain he’s decided to take, rips free of his bonds, and makes his exit. Chromedome, temporarily paralyzed and mute from the strain of doing such a long deep reading on Overlord, can only watch as he walks out the door, making a promise to find Rewind first when he starts killing everyone on the ship.

Oh man, this next one’s gonna be a doozy.

#transformers #jro #jro punches me in the face #mtmte #issue 14 #maccadam #Hannzreads #overthinking about robots #text post #long post #comic script writing

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darkkitsuneprincess · 4 years

Text

I Love You, Dummy - Part 1 [Yukimura x MC (Mai)]

First: 220 FOLLOWERS!!! OMG!!! YOU GUYS ROCK SO HARD!!!

Second, somebody mentioned one day last week that there’s not enough Yuki content and I happen to agree. Since the rest of these fools still aren’t talking to me, I went back to this silliness. Yukimura is such an idiot and I adore him. Part 2 will be along shortly, will be full of more fluff, and may or may not be NSFW.

Title: I Love You, Dummy Pairing: Yukimura x MC (Mai) Rating: F (for Fluff) Warnings: Idiots in love. The dumbest angst ever angsted. Tooth-rotting sweetness. Description: Something is up with Yukimura. He’s been avoiding Mai for days. Kenshin spoils the surprise and romantic shenanigans ensue. People Who Need Tagging: @choi-jiyu @nad-zeta -- hit me up if you want me to add you.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Whatever it was, it had been bothering him for days. From the minute we arrived at Kasugayama, it was like a switch had flipped and my adoringly-sweet-yet-m oderately-awkward boyfriend became a totally different person. I wondered if I’d inadvertently said or done something to upset him on the trip in, but I couldn’t think of a thing. And since we arrived, I’d barely even seen him.

He hadn’t mentioned it. Hadn’t said anything at all, as a matter of fact. It wasn’t like Yukimura to not speak at all. He always had something to say, even if it was just snark. But the fact that he’d not only not talked to me, but gone out of his way to avoid me told me something was definitely up…

…which was exactly why I was standing in the garden with Shingen, waiting for him to answer my question.

“He was so excited to come back to Kasugayama for the festival,” I added after explaining my dilemma to Yukimura’s surrogate father. “But since we got here, he’s been so…weird. I mean, he’s always an awkward idiot, but this goes way beyond that.”

“If there were a problem, surely Yuki would come to you first,” Shingen told me after several long, agonizing moments of pretending to ponder my question. I could see the lie in his eyes. Shingen knew something. I mean, he was only feudal Japan’s greatest master of information…second maybe to Mitsuhide…so I knew he knew what was going on. And he knew that I knew that he knew. I could see that too. I hadn’t spent the last year with these knuckleheads without learning how to read them the same way they did me.

“Okay,” I responded with a curt nod. “If you don’t want to tell me, fine.”

I turned and left, ignoring Shingen’s calls for me to come back. He might not be willing to help me, but I knew there was one person in Kasugayama who would.

***

“I would, but you know the saying—bros before—”

“I would not finish that statement if I were you, Sasuke. He may be your bro, but I am certainly not the other.” My moderately awesome ninja friend swallowed with an audible gulp and took two steps back from me. I didn’t blame him; if I looked anything like I felt, then I looked like I wanted to wring his neck. “This routine is starting to get old, you know. Yukimura hasn’t said a word to me in three days. He’s avoiding me since we got here. He didn’t come to bed last night until…well, I don’t know when, and he was gone again when I woke up. Shingen is being his usual, obnoxious self, and even you aren’t willing to tell me what’s going on even though despite your weak facial muscles, you have a terrible poker face!” I threw my hands up in the air and groaned. “If I wanted to be left in the dark with everyone I know plotting against me, I’d have just stayed in Azuchi!”

“Mai…”

“NO.” I held up a hand. “You’re not going to betray Yukimura’s confidence and I don’t want to hear anymore excuses. You tell that idiot that when he’s ready to apologize for being such a moron, he can come find me. I might still be here.”

My voice cracked on the last word right alongside my heart and for the second time that day, I stormed away from one of my friends, though this time I did it so nobody would see me cry.

***

If I’d thought for one second someone might find me hiding behind a sakura tree in the most remote, well-hidden corner of the garden, I wouldn’t have gone there to have my little pity party. And if I had thought someone would find me, I certainly wouldn’t have expected it to be who it was.

“This is why I find women so tiresome,” Kenshin said, scaring a shriek out of me. I’d been so absorbed in my own silliness and the absurd plot to steal a horse and ride back to Azuchi to be with the other half of my Sengoku family that I hadn’t even heard him approach. I wiped my face on my sleeve and looked up to find a hard scowl marring the ethereal beauty of his face. Those mismatched eyes, though… they were full of concern.

“Sorry to bother you, Kenshin,” I said through my sniffles. “I’ll just go.” I started to rise but he placed a cold hand on top of my head.

“Stay,” he said, his touch softening as he stroked my hair with almost brotherly affection. “You are clearly upset about something and came here to hide.”

“I did.”

He surprised me by sitting down beside me. I’d grown used to his weird mood swings even if I’d not grown entirely used to the man himself. Even in repose, Kenshin was still the most intimidating thing I’d ever seen. Disarmingly beautiful…but decidedly lethal. I knew full well he could take my head from my shoulders if the spirit moved him to and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I’d already be dead before I could even think to react.

“I assume the cause of your distress is your lover,” he said, raising one thin eyebrow at me. I nodded and hid my face in my sleeves so she couldn’t see just how much of a mess I was. “I am not surprised. Since the two of you arrived, he has been quite…obnoxious. More so than usual.”

“He’s avoiding me,” I said, my voice crackling like dry tinder from the torrents of tears. “We argue all the time. It’s kind of our thing. But even when we were supposed to be enemies, he never went out of his way to hide from me.”

“That boy is a fool,” Kenshin answered. His tone was harsher than usual and when I glanced up at him, I may as well have been staring down a pair of knives for all the sharpness in his gaze. “You would think, having been in Shingen’s service nearly his whole life, he’d have at least learned something about women.”

I snorted. “That’s pretty funny coming from you, you know.”

“I know a great deal about women,” Kenshin replied defensively, his lips pressed into a thin line to hide the smile teasing them. “I am no monk, Mai. However, I choose not to waste my time with frivolities.”

“Then why are you talking to me?”

“Because you were crying. Women should never cry.”

That time I did laugh. “Then if you know so much about us, tell me…why are women so emotional?”

“That, little one, is one of life’s great mysteries.” He smirked then turned his gaze away from me, looking out over the garden. He heaved a sigh, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. “If you must know, Yukimura wishes to marry you,” Kenshin said, and my heart stuttered to a shocked halt.

Say what now?

“But…”

“You didn’t know?” he asked, though he knew full well I didn’t know. “I would apologize for ruining that surprise, but I am not sorry in the slightest. I am weary of you moping about my castle and his frantic idiocy.”

“How did you find out?” I asked, hoping to wrap my mind around this. His initial statement rang through my mind again and again, but it seemed no more real than a daydream.

“I am actually surprised you didn’t know before now. That fool has interrogated every person in his path for three days seeking guidance in the matter. He sent letters weeks ago informing both Nobunaga and myself of his plan to ask for your hand during the festival. As it seems I inherited care of you in that alliance,” his nose wrinkled as he thought of the Alliance between Echigo and Azuchi and the resulting custody arrangement between himself and Nobunaga, “it was up to me to provide the blessing for this upcoming union.”

“So you’re saying Yukimura wrote to you and Nobunaga and asked permission?”

“Yes. Now that you have arrived, he and Sasuke have cobbled together some elaborate nonsense for the occasion that involves Shingen escorting you to the festival. I find this whole affair a waste of my ninja’s time.”

I laughed at that. “I do too. I don’t need anything elaborate. I thought Yukimura knew that.”

Kenshin shook his head. “The boy is daft. If I understand correctly, Sasuke has commissioned fireworks from the artisans in Oshu.”

My jaw fell slack. “Sasuke went to Masamune for fireworks? What on earth are they planning?”

Kenshin shrugged one shoulder as if he’d grown bored with the conversation. “How many people know?”

Kenshin chuckled. “It appears you are the only person in all of Japan that didn’t. I suspect you will have quite the audience this evening.”

Excitement replaced my shock. I’d never known Kenshin to lie. But one thing still didn’t make sense to me. Here I’d begun to think I’d done something to upset Yukimura, and that wasn’t the case at all. I’d wracked my brain for the memory of even the tiniest transgression, but there was nothing. And now this bombshell…

“But—but why is he avoiding me?”

Kenshin fixed me with a hard, impatient stare. “You already know the answer to that question. You, yourself have said more than once today that he is an idiot.”

“Because he is.”

“I agree.” Kenshin rose in a fluid, graceful motion, then took my hands and pulled me to my feet. I felt like a tromping elephant beside a gazelle as I rose. Even after I stood, Kenshin held onto my hands. “He intends to ask at the festival tonight.” Kenshin reached up an smoothed a lock of my hair back into place. “I suggest you pull yourself together and go get ready. I shall send the maids to assist you.”

Kenshin gave me one last, lingering look before turning away and leaving me alone in the garden with a head full of bubbles.

Yukimura wants to marry me…

***

Every bit of anxiety was washed away as I turned and ran back to our shared room. Our first “date” had been at a festival. My insides still fluttered when I remembered our first kiss under the fireworks. My heart skipped a beat at the memory of the fire in his eyes when he looked down at me, the way the bright colors in the sky reflected in his gaze. I remembered the feel of his hands on my waist and how I’d clung so desperately to him, not wanting to leave his side. I remembered the sweetness and innocence in that moment, before the world saw fit to try and tear us apart.

Yet we’d survived, we’d come through it all together. And now, a year after my return to this time and the man I’d fallen desperately in love with, we were on the cusp of this grand, new adventure. He was, in his own ridiculous way, trying to make this night special for me. And I…I wanted to do my part.

In all the excitement, I’d forgotten that I had something for him until that moment. Since I was now in on his secret and I knew he wasn’t going to come back before tonight, I dug through my bag until I found the two wrapped packages at the bottom. I set one off to the side and went to the desk with the other, prepared to write a letter to Yukimura when the door slid open and he appeared.

My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. His clothes were rumpled and his hair windblown, as if he’d just spent the last fifteen minutes either sparring with or running from Kenshin. Either was possible, except that I’d been with Kenshin until about five minutes ago. Whatever the reason for his huffing breath and disheveled state, it must have had something to do with his “surprise”.

“Oh, um…I’ll come back,” he stammered, breathless, and started to close the door.

“Yukimura, wait!” I shouted, rising with the package still clutched to my chest. He hesitated, panic flashing across his face, and I could see him consider just closing the door and running again. Now that I knew what was going on, his awkwardness was adorable. “I, um, have something for you. For tonight.”

Fear. Blind, bald fear flashed across his face. “Why?”

I closed the distance between us, noting how he stiffened as I neared. When I reached out and took his hand, he froze, the urge to bolt even more evident in his posture. Though when I tugged his hand, pulling him inside, he came willingly.

“Do I have to have a reason to give you a gift?”

“No, but…”

“But what?” I pushed. Yukimura began to sweat, tiny beads of perspiration appearing at his hairline. “You give me gifts all the time.”

“That’s different,” he replied, turning his hand to lace his fingers through mine.

“How so? It’s only fair that I do things for you once in awhile.” Before he could escape, I closed the distance between us and laid my head on his chest. Despite the weird gurgling noise he made in his chest, Yukimura’s arms went around me. My heartbeat jumped into high gear as I inhaled the scents of incense and woodsmoke lingering on his clothes. He was definitely up to something. “I made something for you,” I said against his chest. “Since our first official date was at a festival a lot like this one, I wanted to give you something to make it extra special.”

“Mai…”

Yukimura hooked a finger under my chin and tipped my head back to kiss me. His cheeks, ears, and nose glowed with embarrassment, which only made him more adorable. Though when his tongue swept between my parted lips to tangle with mine, all thoughts of sweetness evaporated. His arms tightened around my waist and the package I was holding thumped to the floor so that I could wrap my arms around his neck. He poured all of his love and affection into that kiss. His hands roamed over my sides and back, pulling me impossibly closer while I threaded my hands through his messy hair. It would take nothing at all to drag him across the room to our futon, but we both had plans now. Both had roles to play in tonight’s little drama.

When we parted, we did so breathless and clinging to each other for support. “Gods…I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I pressed my cheek to his chest and listened to his hammering heart.

“You said you had something for me?” he asked, his usual cheeky tone returning as his breathing slowed.

We sank to the floor together and I placed the package in his hands, watching with a mixture of excitement and nervousness as he unwrapped the bundle to reveal the haori I’d made for him.

“Mai…you…you made this?” he asked, his eyes going wide as he unfolded the garment and laid it out for inspection. His fingers traced over the black coin-crests embroidered into the shoulders of the deep, red garment—the Sanada family crest—and over the fine gold threads woven through the decorations along the neck. “This is amazing…”

“I’m glad you like it. I thought you might want to wear it to the festival tonight.”

“You bet!” he chirped, then as if remembering the festival, his nervous energy returned. His shoulders tensed and the anxiety returned to his eyes. “But, uh, I have some stuff to—er—do before then. I’ll, um, be back in a little bit.” Yukimura leaned in like would kiss me again then thought better of it, placed a quick peck on my forehead, and all but ran from the room, nearly bowling over the two maids Kenshin sent to help me get ready.

“Silly boy,” I muttered, shaking my head as I rose from the floor and ushered the maids inside.

#ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikesen yukimura #ikesen yuki #ikemen sengoku yukimura #ikemen sengoku yuki #ikesen fanfic #ikesen fanfiction #ikemen sengoku fanfiction #ikemen sengoku fanfic

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baconsoupforthesoul · 5 years

Text

We’ll Kiss, Just as Before

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOBER!!! I hope you have a birthday as wonderful as you are friendo <3 This one-shot is a follow up of sorts to this piece I wrote for the Ink Demonth (and also this piece that John wrote, which inspired the art that inspired me haha). The song mentioned in this is Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin, which you can listen to here. As always, for the Bioshock au, Henry/Alpha and Lyra belongs to @inkspottie, Ross/Omega, Lois and Aaron belong to the birthday girl @doberart, Delta belongs to @trashboatprince, Harvey/Sigma belongs to @hntrgurl13 and breifly mentioned is @gruvu’s Zeta. Get ready for a mushy one guys, and I hope you all enjoy~

The sun shone brightly through the window as Delta lounged idly on a couch in Ross’s living room, with Bendy curled up still half-asleep in his lap. Henry sat on a sofa nearby, deeply invested in a book he was reading. Ross was in the kitchen with his wife helping her with breakfast. It had been a few weeks since they had escaped from that hellscape under the sea. Harvey had gone back to his home a few days ago with Alice, leaving just Henry, Delta and Bendy staying at Ross’s house for the time being. Henry knew he should go back to his own apartment soon. He had troubled Ross enough as it was. But a part of him was afraid to go back to his empty apartment. The horrors he’d seen down there, the memories he’d regained, the trauma all of them had gone through, Henry was sure that as soon as he stepped into his vacant apartment, that would all come rushing to the forefront. The nightmares he had experienced since escaping were bad enough, experiencing them alone would be even worse.

“Hey,” Delta called, getting the attention of his brother, as the former big daddy stared out the front window. “We just escaped from certain death down there… shouldn't we, ya know… throw a party or something?”

“What?” Henry sounded incredulous as he set down his book. It was too early in the morning for this.

“Yeah, a party,” Delta continued, a huge grin spreading across his face. “I mean, isn't surviving something to celebrate? And being free from that awful place, right? That’s definitely worth throwing a big shindig for.”

“Yes, because normal people definitely celebrate almost dying in an underwater city,” Henry deadpanned. “Who would we even invite Delta? Our situation isn’t exactly easy to explain. It was hard enough explaining it to Ross’s kids.”

“What are we explaining to my kids?” Ross asked as he stepped into the room, a steaming cup of joe in his hand.

“Not dying!” Delta exclaimed, looking way too happy.

“Um, I mean, that’s a good thing for everybody to learn... but what?” Ross just looked even more confused.

“What Delta is trying and failing to get at is, he wants to throw a party to celebrate us not dying down in Rapture,” Henry explained, rubbing a tired hand down his face.

“I mean… we could I guess,” Ross mused as he rubbed the back of his head, taking a seat next to Henry. “Not sure who’d we even invite to such a party but if you really want to…”

“You don’t need to encourage him, Ross,” Henry drawled, giving his brother the side-eye as the former big daddy stuck his tongue out at him.

“Stop being a party pooper, Henry,” Delta complained. “Come on, it doesn’t have to be that big of a thing. We could just invite Harvey, and Alice. And then Ross’s kids cause they know what happened. And then they could bring the grandkids if they want to. Oh, and we can invite over Linda’s friend! What’s her name again?” Delta scrunched his forehead in thought as he snapped his fingers, trying to remember the name on the tip of his tongue.

“Oh, you mean Lyra?” Ross guessed and a huge smile broke out across Delta’s face.

“That’s the one! The one Henry thinks is cute!”

“W-what?” All of Henry’s sass drained out of him as his cheeks flushed at the thought of seeing Linda’s friend once again.

“Awww, aren’t you so precious. You even blush when I mention her~” Delta cooed, causing Henry to blush even more.

“You talking about Lyra in here?” Linda asked as she walked into the living room, idling drying a dish in her hand.

“N-no!” Henry squeaked.

“Yes!” Delta piped up, a shit-eating grin on his face, while Ross chuckled in the background.

“You know she’s just a phone call away if you want to see her, Henry. Or you could just walk over to her place, it’s not that far away,” Linda told the sweater-clad man, as he seemed to be burying himself into his turtleneck out of embarrassment.

“Anyway, teasing Henry aside,” Delta tried to talk between chuckles. “Linda, would it be alright if we threw a “Getting out of Rapture Alive” party? I promise it will be small, and we won’t trash your house or nothing.”

“Hmmm,” Linda tapped her chin in thought. “I don’t see why not? It could be fun. Might want to give it some time though. It won’t be much of a party until you’re all fully healed.” Linda took a seat next to her husband and gave him a kiss on the check, causing Ross to blush slightly. “I’m not throwing a party until I know you’re well enough to walk around without your cane. Speaking of,” Linda frowned at her husband. “Where is your cane? Did you happen to forget it again?”

“Alright alright,” Ross held up his hands in defeat. “Can’t argue with the nurse. I’ll go get it.”

“You walking around without it defeats the whole purpose of it, hun. I’ll go get it.” Linda told him as she gave him another kiss on the check. Ross turned his head and gently cupped the back of his wife’s neck to give her a proper kiss on the lips.

“What would I do without you, dear?” Ross asked, staring longingly into his wife’s eyes.

“Not take care of yourself apparently,” Linda teased him as she got up and walked back towards the kitchen. “Oh, by the way, breakfast is ready if you guys are hungry.”

“Breakfast…?” Bendy finally woke up and looked around the room with half-opened eyes. “Did someone say breakfast?”

“She sure did little guy,” Delta smiled softly down at his little devil. “You want some bud?”

“Yes please,” Bendy answered in a sleepy voice as Delta lifted him up onto his shoulder.

“Well there’s plenty for everyone,” Linda told them as she walked back with Ross’s cane. “It won’t stay warm forever though, so get it while it’s hot.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Delta repiled, heading to the kitchen with his son, Ross and Linda right behind him. Henry smiled as he set his book on the end table next to him. This was nice. It was the first time in his life that he had felt like part of a family. He hated to impose on Ross more than he already had, but he wasn’t ready to leave just yet. Soon… but not yet.

---

It took almost a month for Linda to declare that the boys were fit enough to throw their “Getting out of Rapture Alive” party, but the time spent resting did not dull Delta’s enthusiasm. Just as he had said, it was a small party. with just Ross’s kids along with their respective spouses and grandkids, Lyra, Alice, Bendy and of course Henry, Ross, Delta and Harvey in attendance. But it was… nice. There weren't too many people they felt comfortable sharing their Rapture adventure with anyway. However, just being around their loved ones, and taking the time to relax and unwind was very welcome. Even Henry had to admit the party was a good idea, even if he spent most of it a blushing mess as Lyra chatted happily with him. As Henry stuttered over his words, his gaze roaming across the room to avoid looking at Lyra’s amused emerald eyes, he couldn’t help but notice Delta and Bendy over by the record player. The two of them appeared to be rifling through Ross’s albums.

“Come on, come on…” Delta muttered to himself as Bendy looked down from where he was perched on his shoulder, tail swishing back and forth idely. “I know he has it, he said it was one of their favorites…” Delta stuck out his tongue in concentration as he flipped through Ross’s music collection.

“There it is!” Bendy declared happily, eagerly pointing at an album Delta almost skipped by. “That’s the one!”

“Nice spot Bendy,” Delta smiled and raised his hand so Bendy could give him a high five. The former big daddy carefully took out the record, and went to go set it up, grinning the entire time.

As Delta was picking out the music selection, Ross was sitting down on a nearby couch, his right arm wrapped around his wife’s shoulders as they chatted with Aaron and Lois, as the married couple hadn’t had a chance to ask their children what they had been up to the last time they visited. The two Ross kids had been a little preoccupied in learning about their parents hellish time in Rapture to really get a chance to catch up. As they talked, Ross found his mind wandering a bit as he surveyed the scene around him. It almost seemed surreal, this level of normalcy. To think that a little over a month ago Ross had been back in the one place he swore he never wanted to see again, fighting his way through an insane underwater city to save his wife and his new-found brothers. It hadn’t been that long since he had found out the truth of what happened down there, about who he was and about all the horrible things Joey had done to their studio.

But after all of that, after all the pain, suffering and heartache, he was here. He was back with his family, more family even. Everybody was safe and happy. The only ones missing where Norman and Zeta, as the scientist had elected to stay down in Rapture for the time being so he could help the giant song bird into a more human form. But Ross knew it was only a matter of time before those two returned to the surface as well. It almost seemed too good to be true. Ross squeezed his wife’s shoulder, looking over at her in an attempt to remind himself that this was all real. That he had found the peace and happiness he had been craving for so long.

When Linda felt the gentle pressure on her shoulder, she looked over to find her husband’s green eyes were a little bit misty, but a small smile still graced his face as he stared lovingly at her.

“Uhh, Dad? You alright? You kind of went quiet for a second there,” Aaron asked, looking a little concerned.

“Huh?” Ross blinked for a second and turned over to his son, looking a little sheepish. “Sorry, I must've blanked out for a second.”

“You feeling alright, dear?” Linda asked. “You looked like you were a million miles away for a moment.”

“No no, I’m fine.” Ross waved off her concern. “I was just thinking... about how well everything turned out. I mean, all things considered.”

“I’m still trying to wrap my head around it,” Lois admitted, her eyes downcast as she ran a hand through her hair. “The fact that you guys went back there and made it back home at all is a miracle. I’m just….” Lois took a deep breath, composing herself. “I’m just so thankful you guys are okay.”

“Me too,” Ross gave his daughter a soft smile. “And don’t you worry. We plan to keep it that way. I’m too old for adventures like that anymore.”

“I don’t know if ‘adventure’ is the word I would use,” Linda remarked. “But definitely, we’ll try not to scare you kids like that again.”

“We’re gonna hold you to that,” Aaron replied, causing Ross to let out a huff of laughter.

As Ross was conversing with his family, the former soldier failed to notice Delta turning on his record player. The former soldier's eyes widened as a familiar song filtered through the air.

“Somewhere~

Beyond the sea~

Somewhere, waiting for me~”

This… this was one of his and Linda’s favorites. Ross quickly scans the room and sees Delta standing by the record player, grin stretched across his face as he gave him a thumbs up. A smile slowly tugged at the corners of Ross’s mouth as a thought occurred to him.

“My lover stands on golden sands~

And watches the ships that go sailin'~”

“Oh, I know that look,” Linda chuckled as she turned to her husband, her eyes alight with mirth.

Ross rose from his seat and extended his hand to his wife. “Would you do me the honor of sharing this dance with me, my dear?” Ross inquired, a stunning smile lighting up the room.

Linda returned her husband’s smile and took his hand. “I think the honor is all mine, my love~” She replied, her voice laced with playful affection.

“Somewhere~

Beyond the sea~

She's there watching for me~”

“Oh boy, of course this song comes on and the first thing dad wants to do is dance with mom,” Aaron snickered softly to his sister.

“Did you expect anything else?” Lois countered as Ross lead Linda to a more open area of their living room.

“She's there watching for me~

If I could fly like birds on high~

Then straight to her arms~

I'd go sailing~”

Ross placed one hand on Linda’s hip and held her hand tightly in his as she gripped his shoulder. Age had not dulled their love of dancing, and Linda suddenly felt young again, like it was their first dance together all over again.

“Oh~ Would you look at them! They’re so sweet!” Alice chirped, looking on excitedly as the married couple moved perfectly in time with the music.

“They certainly are,” Harvey agreed, glad to see his new-found brother reunited and happy with his wife after everything that had happened.

“It's far beyond the stars~

It's near beyond the moon~”

“Putting on this song might have been my best idea yet,” Delta remarked quietly to his son. “Up top Bendy.” He gave the little devil another high five, as the little guy on his shoulder hummed along to the music.

“I know beyond a doubt~

My heart will lead me there soon~”

“Oh, I love this song!” Lyra commented, tapping her foot excitedly. “And of course when this song comes on those two hit the dance floor.” Lyra giggled, watching her friend having the time of her life as Ross pulled Linda closer, their foreheads almost touching.

“We'll meet beyond the shore~

We'll kiss just as before~”

“I had no idea Ross was this good of a dancer,” Henry remarked, watching the couple moving gracefully, with hardly a misstep to be seen. “I’d be tripping over my own feet it it were me.”

“Happy we'll be beyond the sea~

And never again I'll go sailing~”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to dance, Henry,” Lyra chuckled as the sweater clad man went bright red in the face.

“Well… uhhh... I’ve never really… uhhhh…” Henry floundered, unable to get it past his lips that he had honestly never danced before.

“Well come on!” Lyra grasped Henry’s hand and lead him to the impromptu ‘dance floor.’ “We can’t let those two have all the fun, now can we?”

“Wait! Lyra! I-” Henry had no choice in the matter as Lyra grasped onto his hand and started leading him a dance of sorts, if tripping over yourself and almost stepping on the other person’s feet counts as dancing.

Ross couldn’t help but laugh as he watched his brother with Lyra. Henry was a blushing clumsy mess, all the while his dance partner continued to smile sweetly at him. Linda chuckled too before returning her eyes to her husband, once again lost in his sparkling green eyes.

“Whoot! You go twinkle toes!” Delta called out to Henry from the sidelines, unable to hold back his snicker as Henry turned to glare at him.

“I know beyond a doubt, Ah!~

My heart will lead me there soon~”

As Henry tried his best to dance with Lyra, Ross effortlessly spun Linda and pulled her back into his arms. Ross couldn’t imagine anything better than this. Rapture, now more than ever, was well and truly behind them. Through all the pain and tears, Ross had found a family he hadn’t even known he had, and brought his wife home safe and sound. While the memories and the trauma would be a lot to bare, they now had each other to help shoulder that burden. Now… here… surrounded by his loved ones… Rapture could not be further away and Ross could not be happier than he was right now.

“We'll meet (I know we'll meet) beyond the shore~

We'll kiss just as before~”

Overcome with joy, Ross leaned down for a kiss, which Linda lovingly returned. Ross pulled Linda closer as she wrapped her arms over his shoulders, running her hand through the hair on the back of his head.

“Happy we'll be beyond the sea~

And never again I'll go sailing~”

Ross slowly pulled away, his eyes a little wet as he suppressed tears of joy. He brought his hand up to Linda’s face and gently rubbed her check with his thumb as she was overcome with happiness too.

“I love you,” Ross nearly whispered, his voice heavy with affection.

“I love you too dear,” Linda replied, her voice soft and heartfelt.

And as the music started to fade out, the two of them continued to sway, so caught up in each other’s eyes, no force on earth could drag them apart.

“No more sailing~

So long sailing~

Bye bye sailing~”

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #henry stein #henry batim #linda stein #linda batim #henry x linda #bioshock au #spacy writes

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bookdragonlibrary · 5 years

Text

Time Traveller

I hesitated since day 1 (which was day 7 of this week by the way...). So please, tell me if it’s good xD

The teens didn’t really know how those guys could come in the Hub but there they were. Those who live there still wore their civies while the other Outsiders and Traci were already in costume.

“I don’t know who you are guys or what do you want from us. But even Savage rang the bell before coming here.”

“You’re friend with Savage?” asked the girl.

“Of course not. He just used us to get rid of a common enemy of Earth”, replied Virgil.

“We mean no harm guys”, continued a red hair girl. “I just wanted to meet my cousin, Bart.”

“His what now?”

“I can’t be your cousin”, the concerned teen answer. “I’m…”

He cut himself. That would be a too big spoiler.

“From the future. We know. We come from then too. I’m your cousin, daughter of Dawn.”

“It can’t be. It can’t be me. I didn’t have a cousin in the– my future. Dawn… she died when she was around twenty. She didn’t have a chance to have a child.”

“Don’t you get it, hermano?” Jaime exclaimed. “You did it! You changed the future!”

“He did what?” a boy from the stranger group repeated.

“Anyway, let’s go back to the point! I’m Jenni, Bart. Your cousin.”

“I told you I’m not. You are the cousin of the future me. The one who isn’t born yet. Not in this time. Not this me.”

“Does it really matter? He told me there is another him and I wanted to meet you. Now because we would be around the same age. I have two cousins instead of one, it’s so great! Don’t you think?”

“I– I think so. But did you really come now as a tourist?”

“Why not? You did it too.”

“That was a cover.”

“Anyway, do you want to come back with us? With me? Uncle said he wouldn’t mind another son and– your future you, he really wants a big brother. Or a twin? Depends of you age. Come on, it would be so great.

Bart’s eyes widened. That would be crash indeed. He would finally have his place in the world, have parents again and family where he could call his grands-parents as so and not risking saying a spoiler. He could be free. He could be home.

“Bart?”

The speedster turned around to see his boyfriend, a scared and worried look on his eyes.

“What about us?”

“I– I don’t know, Ed. Maybe that would be your chance to find your true love.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What if I’m stealing the place of someone else? I can’t be your true love…”

“What if you are?”

“I’m not! Don’t you understand? I wasn’t never meant to be in love with someone of this time, to start a family now. I’m not at my place here. I’m not supposed to be here. I’ve done my job already.”

“Is that why you don’t care of what happen to you on mission?”

“It won’t matter, Ed. But it would be so moded if something happens to you, guys. For me, it’s ok. I’ll still have the real me who’ll be born in the future.”

“Don’t call him the real you. You are as real as he will be.”

“It’s ok, Bart. Just comes with us. You’ll be at home with me and the rest of the family.”

Bart turned to Jenni, a hopeful look in his eyes.

“But there would be three Bart, right?” pointed out Virgil. “This one growing old, the one born in the future and our Bart. Since the first and last ones are the same, that won’t be good, right?’

“This Bart– This Bart is dead from aging” answer Jenni with a shaken voice.

“Aging? But Bart would be like 55 years old in your future”, calculated Jaime.

“Actually, he was more than 60.”

“No, it doesn’t make any sense. Jay is almost a century old and he looks like 30 or 40 younger.”

“So now that you’re lost your Bart, you want to steal ours?” growled Cassie. “He belongs with the Outsiders. With us. With Ed.”

The Argentinean wasn’t aware of what happened anymore. He clenched as his moon pendant. So that how Bart felt all the time? Like a stranger? An outsider? Did he– did he force himself to date Ed just to make him happy? Did he have any feelings for him at all?

“Bart?” He hated how his voice was small and weak. “Do you really want to go?”

“I–”

“Wait, hermano! You can’t go in the future, that would kill you.”

“What do you mean?” asked Cassie.

“What if Bart lands in his own future instead of theirs? Or– what if he disappears during the travel? You can’t risk that. And that won’t help them. If you die today, they won’t meet the future you in their time.”

“What do you mean his own future?” snapped the boy. “He came back to the past as a tourist and was stuck there.”

“That was his covert because he couldn’t reveal the Reach Apocalypse yet when he arrived.”

“What is this apocalypse you’re talking about?”

“Before the future you come from, there were another one. An apocalyptic, dystopic one”, explained Virgil. “The Reach invasion where they enslaved humanity. Bart came back to the past to change that and saved Earth. So, we could deject them two years ago.”

“Deject?”

“So you change the future more than we expected”, resume Jenni.

“What do you mean?” Bart was scared now.

He always was. What if his presence brings more harm than good? What if he made it worst in the future than an apocalypse? Is that possible anyway? Well, maybe the complete destruction of the planet like they faced two years ago because he didn’t do enough, took the wrong decisions.

“Of course, you changed the future, Tito.” He turned to face Ed, worried, scared and surprise all in once. “That’s why you came here in the first place, no? And look, you succeeded. Your aunt won’t die this soon and she will meet someone and have a daughter. I’m sure it would be the same for your own parents.”

“But Joan still died. And Wally–”

“Joan died from aging. No one can stop that. Not even time travelling. And Wally helped you and the Flash to save the world.”

“Wait, uncle Wally is dead? But he–” Jenni started but her companion nudged her in the ribs.

“You don’t understand! If I didn’t screw everything up, Blue wouldn’t have trusted Green Beetle and Wally will still be here!”

And now he was crying. Again. He promised himself he won’t anymore. Jaime hugs him from behind, he didn’t fight it, too tired to fight.

“Hermano, it’s not your fault about that. If I wasn’t blinded by fear, I would have connected the dots and understood Green was on mode since he wasn’t in your future.”

“I should have guessed that too!”

“You didn’t have the time, hermano. I jumped in the Reach trap too fast.”

“You can’t be faster than a speedster.”

He laughed a little at this, a weak laugh, but it was there anyway.

“Prevent an apocalypse, huh? So, you see, no need to bring him with us.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean?” Virgil reacted.

“Jenni, spoilers!” He turned himself to face the Outsiders. “Your friend time travelled illegally. He didn’t have the authorisation to change the past. We have for mission to bring him to the justice in our time, which regulates time travel to be certain nothing bad and irremediable happens to our timeline.”

“Are you stupid or just deft?” Ed was screaming now as Jaime comforted his boyfriend. “We told you he came from a different future. You wouldn’t be there to complain if it wasn’t for him. Heck, his cousin would not even be born if it wasn’t for him. He saved your butts, you hypocrites!”

“Do you imagine how big changes he would bring in the future?”

“That was the whole point, boludos! And it won’t be changes as this timeline didn’t exist in the first place!” Ed told back.

“But you don’t know what could happen if someone else find his work about time travel!”

“Ed.”

A hand gently landed on his forearm. Bart was looking at him with soft, sad eyes, still shining with dry tears.

“You know I’m an anomaly. I’m the one who found the science for time travel. It would be safer if this knowledge disappears with me. You never know what could happen in the future. If I must die to protect the mission of my life, so be it.”

“But it’s not fair, Tito! You saved us all from the Reach. You saved Jaime, you saved the metateens. Heck, maybe you saved Virgil and I and all of us as well. Maybe we died on this ship or be sent off world like the teenagers in New Genesis. You saved us all and you can’t be happy? They have the chance to exist thanks to you and to have a happy life while you can’t? I can’t accept it, it’s not fair! You’re the most deserves to be happy and beloved.”

Ed bite his lips, he can’t cry too. He knew he messed his last sentence, but he couldn’t think properly, yet alone in a foreign language.

The tears were there again, but for a different reason. Bart was still not used to his boyfriend’s sweetness and care. He was like a wind finding his way through the wall around his heart which gently envelop him with softness.

“I love you, Edi. But I must go.”

“No, Tito. It’s not fair, it’s not fair!” Ed was crying too, couldn’t bear to see Bart’s tears, to tell him farewell already. “You can’t leave, they will kill you.”

“No, don’t worry, we will just erase his knowledge of time travel machine, that’s all!” Jenni reassures awkwardly.

“Jenni, spoilers”, her friend recalled, tired. “And how do you think the court will erase his memories?”

“So, they will– they will do it? But you said–”

“I lied, obviously.”

“Wait… Did they– kill this old Bart too? You said he had a heart attack.”

“Obviously. How did you believe a speedster could have a heart attack with fast healing? Sometimes Jenni, you’re really the dumbass of your family.”

The girl was watching her friend with shock and pain in her widened eyes. But she quickly regained composure as she clenched her fists.

“You”, she said to Ed, “make him leave before he kills him. I’ll hold him back.”

“Voy a ayudarla, hermano”, added Jaime. “!Venga!” he screamed to Ed.

Eduardo took his boyfriend’s hand and went to the Zeta tube. He wrote their destination as fast as he could and jumped in it, still holding Bart’s hand.

“Edi, wait! They’re still–”

Bart didn’t have the time, they were teleported else were. He had no idea where, he didn’t recognize the landscape. Were they still in USA by the way?

“Edi, where–”

“In Argentina, mi Tito. He won’t think to come here for you.”

“But we have to go back. He will kill them! He just wants me.”

“When the Reach wanted Jaime, you intervened, right? When villains were kidnapping teenagers, you intervened, right? When I needed help in the Center, when I was digging myself in my workaholic routine, you intervened, right? Same here. We protect our own and you’re part of the Team, you’re an Outsider. You’re our friend and mi novio. We won’t let him kill you. We’ll protect you. No matter what.”

“But I don’t des–”

Ed shush him with his finger on his lips.

“Of course, you deserve it, mi Tito. Most of us would have died without you. You have the right to live, to be happy with us, with me. Do you still want to? Me– me amas, Tito?”

“Por sopuesto”, Bart replied, using his throat instead of his tongue to roll the R. “I love you, Edi. Why do you ask me this?”

“Because– because you could force yourself just to make me happy. Like you force yourself to smile to not make the others worry.”

“Edi…” Bart begins as he took his hand, laced their fingers. “I love you, I promise. I won’t ever lie with someone’s feelings. I’m just– not used to the dating thing yet. Didn’t exist in my future. But I’m learning.”

And now he was fidgeting, not at ease. Ed kissed him, cupping his face.

“I know, Tito, you’re not used to be taken care of. It’s okay, we’ll take our time, because we have all of we need. We won’t let them kill you, nor now or in the future. You’ll grow old, Tito. I promise.”

“Promise me we’ll grow old together then.”

“Juntos. Te lo promiso.”

-------------

Well, I didn’t watch the Legion fo Superheroes yet (please don’t spoil me) so I have no idea if this is accurate or even canon.... Maybe I will rewrite it after watching it. But I wanted to share it with you guys for the @zetaflash-week ! ^^

Day 1 ; Day 2 ; Day 3 ; Day 4 ; Day 5 ; Day 6 ; Day 7

#young justice #bart allen #eduardo dorado jr #zetaflash week #goldenflash #doradoflash #my writing #fanfiction

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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years

Text

14x16 Commentary

Special episode where a bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)

@waywardbaby (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)

* MASTERLIST of season 14 commentary *

14x16 : Don’t go into the Woods

Giulia: Them gay vibs

Nat: Sam

Giulia: And poor baby sam

Zee: No not Sam like that again

Nat: I like that it's focused on Sam

J: I’m me again

Giulia: I like Jack with powers!

* turns snake to ash *

Giulia: Not like that!

Zee: Holy shit

Nat: I feel different now

Zee: Stronger

Nat: Ew

[Melodic Whistling ]

Giulia: Benny is that u babeh ?

Zee: Yeah. They ded

Kat: Of course they are

Guy: It was nothing. Just the wind.

Giulia: JUSt tHe wInD. OOOH THAT IS CREEPY

Girl : Okay, that -- that wasn't the wind.

-she smart

Nat: Notice that in every movie the guy says that it's nothing?

- That tells a lot about men’s priorities. Creepy whistling in a desert park at night? that pussy tho.

Guy: Dad?

-YIKES

Barbara: Hi, sheriff

-Y I K E S

Giulia: But also….Come on let them have some back seat bingo

Zee: Guys are dumb. Think with the downstairs head

Nat: Why are you going away girl?

Kat: Because she’s dumb

Zee: REALLY?? IN THERE??

Nat: Yeah. i would back out of that bathroom

Nat: i mean. Ew

Giulia: I would burn my hands in holy fire to sanitize them

Barbara: Oh, God.

Kat: Oh hell no

Zee: Every place is a bathroom IS SHE SITTING??

Nat: I would rather pee outside of the bathroom.

Kat: And she’s clearly sitting

Nat: she fucking is

Kat: Disgusting

Giulia: No woman would sit on that. THAT SO INACCURATE, who wrote that ep? *goes look at it* MEN, of course , a woman would never have wrote that girl sitting on that filth.

Giulia: Fuck that’s creepy

Giulia: Ba ba ba

Kat: So glad I stayed up to the middle of the night to watch this 🙄

Giulia: Ba barbara ann

Nat: stop giuls lol

Kat: Taaaake my hhhaaannnnndddd

Nat: So she ded

Nat: sweet hope you can sleep

Giulia: Aw look at that, the bunker looks so dark and empty. I hate it now.

D: Morning sunshine! What you looking at?

Zee: This man is huge

Nat: Porn? Nip slips?

-sex tapes??

S: The Internet is more than just naked people. You do know that, right?

Zee: Naked people

D: Not my internet

Giulia: Not OUR internet. ( oh shit let me censor the nip word before tumblr freaks out)

bla bla bla, girl, bla bla bite marks,animal attack. bla bla bla our kind of thing.

Kat: Mah boys

D: I know you wanted to take some time...

Giulia: ‘I’m gOoD’

S: Honestly, I-I'm good.

D: ( u full of crap) All right. Well, let's hit it.

S: You got it. I'll grab Cass.

D: Mm. He actually left. Early this morning.

Giulia: *barely keeping in a squeal* I’m not gonna go there

...I went there

D: I don't know. Something about being cooped up in the bunker for a few weeks. We all need to stretch our legs. I get it.

Zee: What’s wrong with Deans hair?

- WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN?

Nat: thank god i'm not the only one who notices. Thought it was just me

D: Uh...I don't want Jack on this.

D: His powers have gotten us in trouble in the past -- the security guard.

Dean is actually so right right now, but still....Jack alone?...mmm don’t like that

Kat: Look at the baby bean studying

J: Did you know Article 246 of the Haitian criminal code115 officially makes it against the law116 to turn a human into a zombie?

D: Good

Nat: Pre King hair

Kat: Too much gel?

Giulia: Lots of wax I think, gel would be too shiny

J: And...you don't want me to come?

SOBS

D: We don't want to leave the bunker empty. In case, uh, Mom or...some of the other Hunters call and need help, so... this place is long overdue for a restock. So, uh, your mission, should you choose to accept -- made you a list.

Look how uncomfortable Sam is.

No ones lies like a Winchester lies.

Nat: My mission is shopping

Zee: Beer again

S: Twice? D: Yeah.

Nat: Will he get beer tho?

Kat: Is it your list?

Nat: He's only 2 years old

Zee: He got my shopping list

Kat: True

Zee: Shut up

D: We’ll be in touch. ( let yeeeeet the fuck out )

Sheriff: I don’t see how this is FBI business

S, D: RUDE

Giulia: Sheriff’s right tho

Zee: That close up. Thank you

Nat processing Dean’s hair :

Nat: Not liking that hair

Kat: It’s weird

S: You know, do you mind if we take a look at the body?

Sheriff: Do I have a choice?

-that sheriff has 0 fucks

D: Not really.

Dean has 0---> ∞ fucks

Giulia: AHAHAH

Nat: Seriously?

S: How long you been doing this?

Zee: Cat like reflexes

Kat: Lolol he jumpy

Nat: yeah of course lol

Nat: He scares easy he's getting old

-Another still of Dean’s hair for Nat

Giulia: Jack so rigid tho

Kat: Hey it’s an improvement over season 4

Nat: groans

Zee: The kids again

Giulia: Ugh them again

Why in the fuck there the Ghostfacers tune . NO. Also weren’t they like...broken up or something

E: The ghostfacers are cool

- eeeh

Giulia: Bambi lol

Nat: Bambi

Zee: Bamby

Kat: Why they forcing these kids on us?

Stacy: Are you lost?

- Lol like a puppy, I can see that, oh wait ....

Giulia: OMG

Ghostfacers : Winchesters still suck ass, though

Nat: Ghostfacers

E: Are they (Sam and Dean) fighting ghosts?

J ( with the worst neutral tone ever) : What’s a ghost?

Giulia: I SHOULD GO

J: I don't like to lie.Like when you have to burp, but you can't burp.

Zee: It makes my stomach hurt

Nat: you can't burp

Kat: CAN’T BURP

Nat: Dean should teach him

Zee: That among other things

Stacy walks closer with a smirk

Giulia: NO BAD KIDS

Nat: What are these kids?

Kat: Apparently not

Giulia: STAY AWAY FROM MY INNOCENT SON

Stacy: Not anymore. [shows keys]

OH THANK GOD, I thought they wanted to break in or something. I don’t trust them.

I literally couldn’t care less about the sheriff and his son sorry, byee

Giulia: I’m sorry but am I ahead of yall ?

Kat: Idk are you?

Zee: Where are you ?

Nat: lol yeah, don't know?

Kat: I’m in the store

Nat: they're in the store

Zee: 12:13

Giulia: Yeah I’m a bit ahead

Nat: Zeta is ahead

Zee: I am?

Max: I mean, living with a bunch of dudes. Their whole place must smell like beer, Kleenex, and Old Spice.

Nat&Kat: Old spice 🤣

- I can live with that, I don’t give a shit.

Zee: Zombies are real?

J: Well, no. Not really. It's kind of disappointing. But there are other monsters.

Nat: Jack, don't tell them!!

J: Rugaru *chuckles* That’s a funny name. Yeah

Zee&Nat: Will you be my best friend ??

Giulia: NO WILL U BE MY BEST FRIEND

Nat: HOW ABOUT NO

Max: Do you ever, like, hang out?

J: Well, we have movie nights on Tuesdays Dean usually picks. I've seen "Lost Boys" like 36 times.

Nat: AWW...LOST BOYS

Max: I mean with kids your own age.

Nat: but 36 times?

- Eh it’s Dean what did you expect

Nat: oh god

Giulia: I’m two

Giulia: I don’t like him hang out with them

Nat: #leavejackalone2k19 #STAYAWAYFROMJACK2K19

Giulia: No but wait , maybe being with kids will help him, now that he doesn’t have a soul

Max: Well, we're going to the Stoke place tomorrow, if you wanna chill. It's this old farmhouse outside of town. No one goes there.

Nat: I'll rip your lungs out if you hurt him

J: I think I’d like that

Kat: NO

Zee: Remove your spine and hit you with it

S: Kohonta.

D: Gesundheit.

Nat: I can't get over the hair

Kat: sweet mortal flesh lol

D: You think this is our Hot Lips?

S: I mean, according to the lore, Kohonta get so starving, they spit up stomach acid.

Nat: THE HAIR

Kat: Stop staring at it

Nat: tHe HaiR

Zee: Focus Nat

Kat: Stop it

Nat: I FOCUS, ALRIGHT? on THE HAIR

Giulia: I can’t

Kat: So many dead people

Giulia: Everytime there is whistling I just want to see Benny

Kat: STOP IT

Nat: iT's JuSt ThE WiNd

Giulia: Well that’s fucked up

Nat: That's not creepy

Zee: Now you run

Kat: TOO DAMN LATE NOW

Giulia: Who the fuck fall and stay down?!

Nat: Well, yeah THAT is. Really? saliva?

Wow the weather was shit that day of shooting. Did they get sick ?

Giulia: I feel like the sheriff knows something

Kat: Kinda seems like it

Nat: He probably experienced it again

Zee: They always do

Nat: THE HAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRR

Nat: Sam's hair is good wet though

Zee: Sam wet is good

Kat: Sam looks good wet

Giulia: He does

Sheriff: Look, I don't care if you guys are the FBI. Nobody goes in those woods without my say-so.

Giulia: Sheriff is getting on my nerves

Nat: I can't even focus, the damn hair

D: Well, we should probably do what he says.

S: Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Giulia: Awe they are cute

Nat: Third wheeling his way on the kitchen table

Zee: Is pussy block a thing? Like cock block?

E: If you two are going to kiss, can you go to the other room? I'm trying to work here.

Elliot is Sam

Nat: OH NO JACK NO

Giulia: NO

Giulia: THE FUCK. GOD DAMN IT

Kat: Oh Jack 🤦🏼‍♀

Nat: I TOLD YA HE SHOULDN'T GO

Nat: "Yeah, you invited me"

J: I like The Who.

Giulia & Kat: THE WHO

Giulia: Jack your Dean is showing

Stacy: Who?

-Oh shut up everybody knows who The Who are

Max: Oh, my aunt listens to them. They're...old.

J: Well, Dean says any music made after 1979 "sucks ass."

Nat&Zee: Sucks ass

Max: That's because Dean is also old.

Nat: HEY FUCK YOU, NO BODY IS ALLOWED TO CALL DEAN OLD . Except us

Kat: HE’S OUR OLD MAN

Giulia: ... [with Misha tone when is done with Jared in the bloopers] Max is cancelled.

J: unless they've possessed a human. Then, they can look like me or you...or anybody.

Zee: He’s creeping them out.

Giulia: He’s gonna freak them out

Kat: He’s gonna scare the shit outta these kids

Nat: NO JACK BABY STOP

E: And you've seen one before?

J: I’ve killed one

Kat: What if they are possessed

Giulia: If I so hear one of them saying “let’s call a demon” imma throw tables

Max: [Chuckles] Yeah? How?

Giulia: Listen MAX IS TROUBLE

Kat: They all are

Zee: Demon killing 101

Giulia: LOOK JACK IS COOLER THAN THAT

Nat: Baby Bean

Nat: I'm glad it's dark and I don't see them hair

Giulia: BUT THEY SHINE

Nat: oops, there they are

Zee: Sam squint

Kat: The damn sheriff

Nat: What is wrong with that sheriff

Giulia: ok but the sheriff sneaking to the Winchester tho.Like...badass

Nat: LiAR

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: There we go

Always remember Jo and her shotgun tho

Kat: That’s my boy

Jack.....Babe....

Nat: Jack, baby, just go home, alright?

Zee: Jack baby. Stop doing that

Giulia: Don t fucking use the powers

Nat: NO

Kat: Oh shit he’s gonna use magic

Zee: No no

Nat: OH SHIT NO

Kat: JACK NO

Giulia: Mmm don t like that

Nat: JACK SERIOUSLY STAHP

Zee: Yeah. He’s fucking anakin

Giulia: Don t like that

Nat: Jack, if you don't listen to me I can not help you

Giulia: The brunette is the only smart one

Kat: He’s gonna lose control and stab someone

Nat: Yep

Giulia: “The brunette is the only smart one” I WAS WRONG

Kat: Oh shit

Zee: Crap

Kat: Knew that was coming

Giulia: ok but honestly she went right through it

Nat: Jack baby, why don't you listen?

Giulia: He right she moved

Zee: Can’t he fix her?

Nat: They calling 911

Nat: He can't…..Oh he can

Giulia: Ok but FUCK STACY. Bitch could have stayed put

Zee: Look at him.

Nat: But like, does he still have a soul at all

Giulia: Who fucking go running around when someone is making a blade floating

Kat: Jack shouldn’t have been using his powers

E: I don't know... what you are. But stay away.

Giulia: Oh my heart hurts

Nat: Yeah, like, didn't they teach the kids not to do that? right?

Zee: Common sense

Giulia: Ok but I mean...she could have turned around. She just went like ...to him

Kat: Yup he’s going dark side

Nat: She wanted to stop him

Giulia: Again...she run into the damn blade

Nat look at this!

Zee: The way Dean says “thing” is my new sexuality

Nat: Doomed to roam the woods and whistling pfffffff

Giulia: Keeps the folks away Yeah how that ever worked

D: Like I said, we hunt these things.

Sheriff : What do you mean?

S: Kohonta, werewolves, demons.

Sheriff: Those are real?

D: Oh, yeah. Yeah. And we kill 'em.

Nat: That smirk

Zee: The smirk. THE SMIRK

Nat: Almost make me forget the hair

Zee: What hair?

Sheriff: Just the two of you?

S: We know what we're doing.

Sheriff wants to tell people.

YOU SURE FAM?

Giulia: Put them on you tube.Yeah that sounds fun

S: It doesn't work like that. Even when they know how to fight,

Zee: People die People still die

Giulia: Like..kids in spn are dumb as dirt. See...?

Nat: Dumb kid 2.0

Giulia: Dumb as dirt

Zee: Silver blade through the heart.

Giulia: Always silver blade of course

Zee: That works for a lot of things

Giulia: That’s not the meat he’s looking for

Kat: He wants the other other white meat

Nat: Every time I hear the whistling I think that the Saviours are here but then I realize that it's not The Walking Dead

Giulia: Like yeeeeah where u at NEGAN BB

Nat: my body is ready

Giulia: Mine too

Zee: Don’t go there ffs

Giulia: I wanna go right there

Nat: Raining = Wet hair.Wet boys

Giulia: Wow fuck that thing

Nat: lol how Dean carried him out with his bowlegged squat

Giulia: Nat! People are dying!

Nat: Oh give me a break

Zee: I was just thinking of that

D: You don't like that, huh?

Giulia: COME ON

D: That was like full-on "Raiders."

Nat: Yeah like ew

Nat: What is this EP even

Zee: Green goo

Giulia: that’s me when I’ll meet Misha

Awe Sammy is worried about that dumb kid

Have some hair again Nat

Giulia: I don t trust that wound on him tho

Kat: Thinking the same thing

S: He's your son. He deserves the truth.

I DON’T LIKE THAT SENTENCE SAMUEL

Nat: Babies in Baby

D: Do what we always do.

Nat&Giulia: When in doubt...lie

Giulia: When in doubt bacon

Nat: when in doubt...eat

Zee: When in doubt , beer

Zee: Can I sit in the back seat ?

Giulia: Can I sit on him?

Zee: He wouldn’t be able to drive bitch

Giulia: He would don t worry

S: And do you think you really took care of it the right way?

D: Jack said he was fine.

Dean...he’s two

S: And when we were kids, how many times did we tell Dad that we were fine just to make him happy?

OUCH

Nat: So will they go all Dad on Jack?

Giulia: I fucking hope so

J: How was the Hunt?

D: Oh. Uh...disgusting.

J: I got the supplies. Except for the beer.

Dean like....THE FUCK BRO. you had one job.

J: I didn't have ID.

D: You have tons of IDs.

J: They're fake.

Dean’s like.... he’s your son.

S: Jack... listen bla bla bla bla bla bla

Meanwhile , Dean is having an existential crisis

Zee: Tons of ids

Nat: They're fake

Giulia: We want to talk to you about your powers. That looks like THAT TALK

Nat: Will he tell them?

Zee: One of them at least

Nat: #worried dads

D: we didn't want you coming along because we didn't want you using them.

S: Not yet. Not for now.

D: Before you go all X-Men. It was crappy of us not to tell you. You know, we were trying to be nice. 'Cause we care about you. But because we care about you, you deserve the truth.

Giulia: TELL THEEEEEEM

Nat: JACK

S: You understand that?

Zee: He didn’t say it

Kat: He’s not gonna

S: I mean, anything happen while we were gone?

Nat: YOU'RE LYING

Giulia: TEEEEELL THEM U DUMB BAMBI

Kat: Oh he’s so going darkside

Giulia: fuck it

Nat: learned it from the best

Giulia: He’s a Winchester

Zee: Fuck Shit

Kat: Dun dun dun

I’m with Dean on this... Imma get some beer.

[ post episode]

Giulia: PROMO

Giulia: OK I DON T LIKE THE PROMO. MMM MMM NOPE

Zee: Me neither

Kat: Ugh Nick and Anael? gagging noises

Zee: Well that left me a bittersweet taste in my mouth

Giulia: I like anael tho. She looks after herself, doing her thing, work it. yas gurl get it.

Giulia: NICK THO, NICK CAN GO FUCK OFF

Zee: Such a kind spirit

Giulia: Look that was probably him with Donny ok? And I like Donny

Kat: To me, she doesn’t add anything. I don’t hate on her, just don’t know why she has to be on the show 🤷🏼‍♀

Giulia: Well that’s why she isn’t in it that much

Nat: i will watch the promo later. but what anael?

Giulia: Cas told her he needs to talk to god

Nat: but like i don’t get it? who plays god now?

Kat: No one? We don’t see him

Giulia: Ok but ...angels guys! We need more angels that are not dicks

Zee:

Giulia: scoffs

Nat: and why should anael know since she left heaven. if anything naomi should know

Giulia: But would naomi say shit to castiel without something back? And honestly ....that bitch made swiss cheese of his brain, I doubt he want to spend time with her

Nat: anael sure doesn’t have a great rep in heaven either

Giulia: Neither does Cas

Nat: fuck I’m late

Kat: Go work.

Kat: Get that money

Zee: Bring home the bacon

Giulia: Kick ass

Zee: Take names

Zee: Well that was a pleasure ladies. As always.

Giulia: Yas. Gonna go for a run now

Kat: Burn my calories for me please

Zee: Go to sleep babe

Giulia: Also ...yay I won't spend a lot on the commentary 🙌🏻

Zee: whispers I’ll need a couple of gifs. For... science. Ya know

Kat: The smirk

Giulia: I’ll make so many Dean’s hair gif just for @Nat

Zee: That’s plain wrong

Kat: Good, she’ll love that

Giulia: chuckles right?

Zee: That hair was all kinds of wrong

Nat: NO

Giulia: Too late

And y’all? did you hate those hair as much as we did?

@wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @jacks-word-of-the-day @ravenhg @evvvissticante @legendary-destiel @dustythewind

#spn 14x16 #14x16 #14x16 commentary #don't go into the woods #14x16 don't go into the woods #Episode commentary #spn episode commentary #spn commentary

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dirtdoesntneedluck · 5 years

Text

Second Futurama Script

I wrote a script for an episode of Futurama a couple month’s back, inspired by writing that first one I started a second, got stuck on where to go and have only a few weeks back finished it off. I don’t think it’s as good as the first (I don’t know if either are that good, but still) however I thought I’d share it regardless. Feel free to criticize it, all opinions are welcome, as long as it’s not a personal attack then I’m fine with it, we all have opinions on episodes of the actual show, so why should this be different?

Be warned, it’s 30 pages on Word so it’s a long read, it’s your choice, you don’t have to. For reference: Italics are description, bold is who’s talking, normal is dialogue, (Under name is the way the line is delivered).

(Disclaimer: I obviously don’t own the rights to Futurama, this is a non-profit idea and simply a writing exercise to keep me amused, so I believe it falls within fair use, please don’t sue! If you want me to take it down, I will.)

OPENING CREDITS

CAPTION: (Typing onto the screen) HELP! THEY CAUGH- (Previous text is deleted, replaced by-) NOTHING TO READ HERE. CARRY ON.

BILLBOARD CARTOON: ‘The Laughing Fish’ from ‘Batman: The Animated Series’.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS – DAY

Low shot on the building as several ships fly overhead.

INT. LOUNGE, PLANET EXPRESS – SAME TIME

The crew, minus Farnsworth, are sat watching the TV, but not really paying attention as they do other things

ON THE TV: Morbo and Linda present the news.

MORBO

-Sending prices skyrocketing again.

LINDA

(laughs)

I’m just glad I’m rich.

(pause)

Turning to more serious news and the late night robbery of a liquor store by a swarthy Latin bandit.

Everyone perks up and turns to Bender, who shrugs.

BENDER

Nope, wasn’t me.

They’re still staring.

BENDER

What? I can’t commit every robbery. I have a lot of scams to run.

Farnsworth enters. Fry turns off the TV.

FARNSWORTH

(happy)

Horrifying and terrible news everyone! We’re all certain to be killed!

The crew cheer, it takes them a few moments to separate the tone from the words.

LEELA

Wait a second, what do you mean killed?

FARNSWORTH

That’s right, killed.

FRY

Well, I can’t complain, I did live a thousand years.

FARNSWORTH

Alternatively however it may simply be-

(happy)

Good news everybody!

(normal)

And no one will be killed at all.

Bender tuts, half way through engraving a headstone, it reads: ZOIDBERG, FISH MONSTER, UNBELOVED BY ALL.

BENDER

Make your mind up, which is it?

FARNSWORTH

It all depends on the success, or lack thereof, of your latest mission. A delivery to the warring planets of Alpha-Zeta and Beta-Omega. Two delightful little places located in the cheerfully named ‘Murder Zone’.

FRY

What bit am I supposed to understand here?

FARNSWORTH

Only that they exist a mere 100 miles apart and have been fighting over a perceived slight perhaps committed by one, or the other of them, sometime in the past. No ship has ever gone directly between the two planets, as anyone having been to either is labelled a threat by both. Luckily, however, I’ve prepared disguises for you and the ship so you can blend in on both planets.

FRY

Cool, disguises, I understood that part. Can I be a pirate?

FARNSWORTH

No.

LEELA

What are we delivering?

FARNSWORTH

Both planets are being delivered the same items, parts for there large manufacturing plants. So it’s vitally important you don’t give them the wrong package, otherwise you’ll be killed on the spot.

LEELA

(confused)

Okay?

AMY

Wait, I thought you said we’d all be killed?

FARNSWORTH

No, only Fry, Leela and Bender will be killed.

HERMES

So what about us?

FARNSWORTH

We’re all going to take Nibbler for a walk, get ice-cream and have a generally pleasant time.

Amy, Zoidberg and Hermes cheer as they exit the room with Nibbler and Farnsworth. Fry, Leela and Bender sit, annoyed.

BENDER

Well this sucks.

They continue to sit. Farnsworth pops his head back in.

FARNSWORTH

Well, what are you waiting for? I’m not paying you not to be killed.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – LATER

The ship idles a little way off from the twin planets of Alpha-Zeta (left) and Beta-Omega (right). A-Z seems to be covered in a thick smoke, where as B-O is incredibly clean, you can practical spot the people on the street.

INT. CARGO BAY, PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – SAME TIME

Leela, Bender and Fry stand in the middle of the room, between the sets of clothes and packages for both planets. A-Z’s are very old looking, like something from Victorian London. B-O’s look is ultra modern, all clean and sharp edges.

LEELA

Alright gang these are the disguises we’ll have to wear. Alpha-Zeta first then Beta-Omega.

Fry picks up a pair of trousers from B-O’s side, there baggy, the only item from there outfit which doesn’t seem to fit.

FRY

Look at these clothes, they sure are goofy.

LEELA

Fry, it’s not for us to judge what these people wear, besides they aren’t goofy, there just weird.

BENDER

(laughs)

Well, I’m just glad I don’t have to wear anything.

LEELA

Actually Bender, the professor said we had to re-spray you for both planets.

BENDER

(grumbles)

Fine.

Fry picks up a giant stencil and wraps it around Bender, Leela then uses spray paint to fill the gaps.

Completed the stencil comes off and Bender is now covered by a lot of light brown markings, he looks in a mirror.

BENDER

Well I still look better than you two do.

Leela and Fry have changed in the interim, it’s all drab grey’s and browns. Leela wears a flat cap that covers her hair and Fry has some raggedy fingerless gloves on. Both of them, despite the nature of there top half and shoes, are wearing very thin black trousers.

FRY

That’s for sure, this cotton is real rough.

Fry itches, quite uncomfortable.

LEELA (O.S)

Don’t forget your moustache, Fry.

Leela throws Fry and identical moustache to the one she’s wearing. It’s a thick brushed early 1900’s design.

FRY

What’s this for?

LEELA

The air quality down there stinks and so does the planet, these will help us to breathe and release a blast of strawberry every few minutes.

Fry has put his moustache on. Can smell strawberry’s.

FRY

Oh, nice.

LEELA

Bender you’ll-

Bender has already equipped a stick on handlebar moustache.

BENDER

Way ahead of ya.

LEELA

Alright, that just leaves the ship.

Leela press a button on the side of the hull, which...

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – CONTINUOUS

...sees tiny little lights pop up out of the ship. They turn on creating a hologram. In this case the ship looks like a steam punk version of itself.

It heads towards A-Z.

EXT. SIDE STREET, A-Z – A LITTLE WHILE LATER

The ship carefully lands. The buildings here are made of stone and sit very close together. There longer than they are tall.

EXT. STREETS, A-Z – A FEW MINUTES LATER

Fry carries the package as he, Leela and Bender stride on. They seem to fit in well, aside from the trousers.

Smoke hangs just over head height. It means the residents of this planet, who are quite tall, have developed a forward lean, always looking down.

FRY

I’ve never seen so much smoke.

BENDER

Then some more won’t matter.

Bender lights his cigar and puffs out yet more smoke.

LEELA

Bender, you shouldn’t be revelling in the plight of these downtrodden people, you should be trying to help them.

BENDER

I don’t see you leading the charge.

LEELA

Hey, I give to charity you know.

FRY

You do? Which one?

LEELA

How should I know?

EXT. A-Z MANAFACTURING PLANT – A FEW MINUTES LATER

A large sign hangs above the plant: APLHA-ZETA MANUFACTURING CONCERN (NOT AFFILIATED WITH MOM CORP.). Only ‘not’ is in red whereas the rest of the words are in white.

Fry, Leela and Bender wander through the area until they reach the main door, it’s oddly short.

Leela presses the call button on the intercom.

LEELA

(male voice)

Planet Express.

Its a few seconds and then the door opens, they enter.

INT. CORRIDOR, A-Z MANAFACTURING PLANT – CONTINUOUS

Leela and Fry instantly have to lean forwards like the locals. The corridor is low because they’ve no need for the extra head space. All Bender has done is shorten his legs.

FRY

I think my spine just compressed.

LEELA

Mine too. Let’s get this over quick.

BENDER

(laughing)

You guys are always proving why your the infer-

Bender walks right into a low hanging light.

BENDER

Ow!

RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

The trio emerge into a slightly taller area. A woman sits behind a desk, is instantly suspicious of them.

RECEPTIONIST

You’re the delivery crew?

FRY

Sure are.

RECEPTIONIST

Right.

She’s unconvinced for some reason, exits the room into the office behind it.

LEELA

(low)

What’s that about?

BENDER

Fry, you idiot!

FRY

What?

BENDER

I dunno, do I need an excuse?

The receptionist returns, false smile on her face.

RECEPTIONIST

Please enter.

Leela leads Fry and Bender into the office.

OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

The office is again slightly taller. The height of a room here defines the occupant’s social standing.

The plant manager stands behind his desk. He watches as figures approach the frosted window that separates this room from the reception area.

PLANT MANAGER

So, you’re the delivery crew?

FRY

(slightly worried)

Sure are.

PLANT MANAGER

Uh huh.

Fry steps forwards and hands over the package.

PLANT MANAGER

(suspicious)

Let’s see, shall we?

The manager opens the package, is surprised to find it’s exactly what he wanted.

PLANT MANAGER

How about that. It’s what I asked for.

BENDER

Of course it is. What were you expecting?

Bender’s comment is ignored. The manager sinks to his desk and uses the phone, an old rotary model, talks very softly into it. The figures behind the frosted glass leave.

The manager gets back up.

PLANT MANAGER

Alright then, cheerio.

EXT. MANUFACTURING PLANT – A FEW MINUTES LATER

Fry, Leela and Bender walk out of the door and back into the smoke ridden area they were before. Bender extends his legs back to normal height.

LEELA

That was odd, right?

FRY

Definitely.

BENDER

They sure didn’t trust us.

LEELA

Maybe the professor was right. We’d better be careful.

They head back towards the ship, aware that there receiving a lot of attention.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – LATER

The ship fly’s from A-Z and stops a safe distance away. Off goes the first holographic design, replaced by the second, the ship now looks ultra modern, sleek and clean.

INT. CARGO BAY, PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – SAME TIME

Fry and Leela have changed outfits. Again, the trousers don’t seem to fit. As for their hair it’s pushed way up to a point, like a cone.

Bender is cleaned and then re-sprayed in the same manner as before. This time he looks a little like R2-D2.

EXT. METROPOLITAN CITY, B-O – A LITTLE LATER

The ship has no trouble landing, spaces are plentiful.

STREETS – LATER

Fry, Leela and Bender wander through the city. Its inhabitants are tall like their neighbours only they stand straight, making them almost eleven foot. It’s not only their height but their gaze, everyone looks up.

FRY

I wonder what it’s like being that tall?

Bender extends his legs up, reaching the height of the people around him. Its a few seconds before he comes back down, tear in his eye.

BENDER

It’s great.

LEELA

Did you see the building up there?

He extends again, comes down crying.

BENDER

Next left.

EXT. B-O MANUFACTURING PLANT – MINUTES LATER

This place is taller than any skyscraper on earth and it’s not even the biggest building here. It has almost the same sign to the first plant: BETA-OMEGA MANUFACTURING CONCERN (NOT AFFILIATED WITH MOM CORP.).

Leela, Fry and Bender approach the door. The intercom is too high for Leela to reach.

LEELA

Bender?

Bender lowers himself. Leela gets on his shoulders and then holds on as he extends his legs.

Fry is left alone for a few moments, can’t quite here the conversation but it’s the same as before.

Leela and Bender come back down hugging and crying.

LEELA

Fry, it’s great up there.

The door opens.

INT. CORRIDOR, MANUFACTURING PLANT – MOMENTS LATER

This plant doesn’t look like it needs any parts, it’s almost fully automated. The crew head down the huge corridor.

RECEPTION AREA – MOMENTS LATER

Fry, Leela and Bender enter. A male receptionist sits at his desk. Looks down his nose to see them.

MALE RECEPTIONIST

You’re the delivery crew?

The tone is the same as before, the crew share a look.

LEELA

Sure are.

MALE RECEPTIONIST

A moment.

The receptionist exits into the office behind.

LEELA

So-

FRY

Yeah-

BENDER

Right-

There on the same uneasy page as the receptionist re-emerges.

MALE RECEPTIONIST

Enter, please.

OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

A very tall room. The manager sits at his desk to make it easier for him to inspect Fry, Leela and Bender.

MANAGER

Well, it seems you’re the delivery crew.

LEELA

(strong)

Sure are.

MANAGER

All right then.

Fry walks the package over. To the tall manager it’s very small. He opens it keenly, looks stunned.

MANAGER

The supplies?

BENDER

(to Fry and Leela)

Jeez, what do these people think there getting?

MANAGER

If you’d stay there a moment.

It’s a nervous few moments as they wait. The manager speaks hush tones into the phone.

The doors open, two security guards enter. The trio gulp.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – LATER

The ship, normal livery, heads away from the two planets.

INT. COCKPIT, PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – SAME TIME

The cork of a champagne bottle is popped. Leela pours the drink into three separate glasses. She takes one, Fry and Bender the others. They wear two medals each, clean gold and dirty bronze.

LEELA

Heroes! Can you believe it!?

FRY

I knew that psychic wasn’t lying!

BENDER

Yet another achievement for me to add to the list.

They clink glasses, down the champagne.

Leela picks up a copy of the B-O paper, the headline reads: PACKAGE DELIVERY COMPANY DELIVERS PEACE BETWEEN PLANETS. The picture is of the crew standing with the leaders of the planets A-Z and B-O, who shake hands.

LEELA

I can’t wait until everyone knows!

FRY

Finally I can make my nephew proud of me.

BENDER

This calls for only one thing.

Fry and Leela wait to know what that is. Bender opens his compartment and takes out two more bottles of champagne.

BENDER

MORE CHAMPAGNE!

Bender shakes both bottles until the corks pop and the champagne flies out.

INT. OFFICE, MOM CORP. – LATER THAT DAY

A robot butler pours more champagne into Mom’s glass. She soaks in a bubble bath, watching a TV the size of a cinema screen. On her left is a case of dodo eggs, she picks one out, dips it in caviar and then eats it like an apple.

ON THE TV: Morbo and Linda are reporting the news.

MORBO

Surprising news just coming in from the ‘Murder Zone’, Linda?

MOM

I feel richer already.

Single on Linda, the picture from the paper beside her.

LINDA

That’s right, Morbo. It seems a package delivery crew has brokered a peace deal between warring planet’s Alpha-Zeta and Beta-Omega. This has-

MOM

(screaming)

WALT! GET ME FARNSWORTH!

WALT (O.S)

Philo or Hubert?

MOM

HUBERT!!

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS – THE NEXT DAY

The ship arrives rather sloppily into dock.

INT. LANDING BAY, PLANET EXPRESS – MOMENTS LATER

Noise can be heard before the crew comes down the stairs. All three are drunk. Eight bottles of champagne will do that to a person. Their arrival is something of a farce.

When they do focus, slightly, they find a furious Farnsworth standing waiting for them.

FRY

Good news, professor?

FARNSWORTH

No, not good news at all. The opposite in fact. Bad news.

LEELA

(laughing)

Bad news everyone?

FARNSWORTH

Yes. You’re all fired.

That sobered them a little.

BENDER

Fired?

Mom enters, bucket of water in each hand.

MOM

FIRED!

She throws the water over Fry, Leela and Bender.

READY AREA – LATER

Leela and Fry are still soaking, though drying off with towels. They sit with Bender as Mom strides angrily around the room. Farnsworth watches on.

MOM

What exactly did you numbskulls do to broker peace?

FRY

Nothing, we just delivered a package to each planet.

MOM

Nonsense, you must have done more than that?

LEELA

No, we really didn’t.

MOM

Hubert! What did you tell them to do?

FARNSWORTH

Nothing.

Mom picks up the B-O paper, rolls it to hit Farnsworth with. Unfurls it to show him to front again.

MOM

This isn’t nothing!

Farnsworth looks at the picture. With Mom stressing him he really pays attention. Something clicks.

FARNSWORTH

Which planet did you go to second?

LEELA

Beta-Omega.

FARNSWORTH

(of picture)

And this is what you wore to it?

LEELA

Yes?

FARNSWORTH

God lord! You were wearing the trousers for Alpha-Zeta on Beta-Omega!

FRY

That’s how they were laid out?

FARNSWORTH

It was?

LEELA

Yes.

FARNSWORTH

My word. With you wearing the wrong trousers on each planet, they both must have thought you were ambassadors from the other. The resulting niceness fostered an atmosphere of peace between them.

MOM

Destroying my manufacturing concerns on both.

FRY

Don’t you make, like, a billion dollars a minute anyway?

MOM

Not since you screwed everything up I don’t!

BENDER

Then just start another scam. I’ve got a great one going with-

Mom takes out a remote, points it at Bender, presses a button to shock him.

MOM

Enough!

LEELA

What exactly do you want from us?

MOM

To re-start that war!

LEELA

And why would we do that? Both planets are going to be much better off without it.

Mom shocks Bender again.

BENDER

Shut up, Leela!

MOM

You’re going to do it because if you don’t I’ll not only destroy this company but the lives of everyone who works here!

FRY

(shocked)

Even Scruffy?

MOM

Especially Scruffy.

Scruffy, who’s been stood just out of shot the whole time, looks very concerned.

SCRUFFY

I reckon you kids better go cause war.

He wanders off.

MOM

You have three days. Starting from two days ago.

FRY

(confused)

So we have?

MOM

ONE DAY, IDIOT!

Mom storms off.

FARNSWORTH

Okay, you heard the mean lady.

MOM (O.S)

AND SHE HEARD YOU!

FARNSWORTH

I’d better be going.

Farnsworth scurries away.

INT. FRY AND BENDER’S PLACE – LATER

Leela paces up and down the room. Fry sits nervously beside a far calmer Bender, who sips a beer.

LEELA

We are catastrophically boned.

FRY

Got that right, I don’t want to start a war.

BENDER

Why not? Plenty of money to be made from war.

LEELA

No Bender, no wars.

BENDER

Just a little one?

LEELA

No.

BENDER

Fine. Then I’ll guess we’ll just let Mom destroy our lives.

LEELA

We’re not doing that either.

FRY

Then what are we doing?

LEELA

I don’t know.

FRY

Why does Mom even want a war?

LEELA

That’s a good question. We should find out. She’s bound to have files we can steal.

BENDER

How? Mom has the best security out there?

FRY

It’d take some kind of thief to pull off that job.

BENDITO (O.S)

Perhaps I can help?

On a wire above them is BENDITO, a bending unit with a thin moustache and an eye patch covering a missing left eye. He drops down. He’s like a more suave Bender.

BENDER

Bendito! What are you doing here?

LEELA

Bender you know this bending unit?

BENDER

Are you kidding? Bendito’s my mortal enemy.

BENDITO

We’re also in the same book club.

FRY

Why are you here?

BENDITO

Bender scammed me. I came to even the score.

LEELA

Bender is this true?

BENDER

Do you even need to ask?

BENDITO

You cost me a grand total of three dollars.

From his compartment Bendito takes out the medals earned earlier.

BENDITO

These shall suffice as compensation.

FRY

Hey, those are my medals!

BENDITO

I found them in Bender’s room?

LEELA

Bender you stol-

(thinks about it)

Of course you did.

BENDITO

(handing medals to Fry)

My apologies.

BENDER

So, you gonna help us break into Mom Corp.?

BENDITO

Why should I?

BENDER

It’ll be fun.

BENDITO

I’ll do it.

INT. CAFE ACROSS FROM MOM CORP. – THAT NIGHT

Bender, Bendito, Fry and Leela occupy a window booth that looks out towards Mom’s. They plot the potential heist.

BENDITO

According to my source-

BENDER

“Source”? You mean the robot mafia?

BENDITO

(sighs)

Yes. The robot mafia.

(starting again)

According to them the system installed in the offices works on facial recognition. If we can fool them, by dressing up as Mom and her sons we’ll have a small window to hack the computer.

LEELA

How do we get in?

BENDITO

According to a different source-

BENDER

Elzar? Is it Elzar? Sometimes Elzar cooks there, you’re talking about Elzar, right? I know you know Elzar.

BENDITO

(louder sigh)

Yes, Bender. Elzar, I talked to Elzar! Any other questions?

The waitress passes by.

WAITRESS

Refill?

BENDITO

No.

A robot in the next booth turns round.

RANDOM ROBOT

What’s two times three?

BENDITO

Six.

FRY

Why does a robot need an eye patch, can’t you just replace your eye?

BENDITO

It’s a style choice.

(pauses waiting for more questions)

Any more questions?

BENDER

We’ll ask the questions here.

BENDITO

(even louder sigh)

Anyway. Elzar says there’s an express elevator exclusive to Mom. If we can convince the operator that Leela is Mom we can gain access to the penthouse.

FRY

I wanted to be Mom.

BENDITO

Leela is Mom. Bender is Larry. I’ll play Walt and Fry you’ll be Igner.

FRY

Igner?

BENDER

Larry?

LEELA

Fine with me.

BENDITO

Then it’s settled.

EXT. MOM CORP. – A LITTLE LATER

The group are now dressed as there respective characters. Leela wears sunglasses to cover her eye. Bender and Bendito are very obviously robots. Fry actually looks like Igner.

BENDER

At least if we get caught we’ll have funny mug shots.

FRY

There’s a relief.

LEELA

Will you two shut up?

BENDER

Someone’s already in character.

LEELA

What do you mean?

BENDER

Nothing, ‘Mom’.

They enter the building.

INT. FOYER, MOM CORP. – CONTINUOUS

This place is a lot busier then they were expecting. They walk as quickly as possible to the back and the waiting lift. A robot in a suit operates it.

LIFT ROBOT

Back already, Mom?

There are quick glances between each other, they’ve totally forgot to check if Mom was even out. Leela reacts fast.

LEELA

(sweet Mom)

Oh yes, uh, deary, we forgot the candies.

LIFT ROBOT

You and those candies.

The robot moves to let them into the lift, joins them.

LIFT

The doors shut. The five of them are closed in without the chance of escape, a most dangerous time. This is tempered somewhat by Bender whispering something about Leela being like Mom to Fry and Bendito, they chuckle to themselves.

Something else is said, the chuckles become laughs. Leela becomes annoyed. Turns.

LEELA

(mean Mom)

Will you knuckleheads knock that off?

Leela swings a slap that connects on the cheek of all three of them. Is oddly satisfied by it.

She turns back to see the Lift Robot minding his business.

LEELA

(sweet Mom)

Boy’s need discipline is what I always say.

LIFT ROBOT

Yes, Mom.

PENTHOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

The lift opens. All bar the lift robot flood out.

LEELA

(sweet Mom)

We’ll be but a minute.

The lift door shuts. Now they’re in the clear.

FRY

So, ouch.

LEELA

I’m starting to like being Mom.

BENDER

Already got the mood swings down.

He laughs, gets slapped by Leela.

BENDER

See?

She slaps him again.

OFFICE – A MINUTE LATER

The group are in the office. Bendito searches the computer without success. Fry watches the wall of security screens.

BENDITO

Nothing yet.

LEELA

Hurry up, who knows when she’ll be back.

Leela looks around, nervous, spots Bender rifling through a filing cabinet.

LEELA

Bender, what are you doing?

BENDER

I was trying to find my warranty but all I keep coming up with are replies to letters.

LEELA

Which letters?

She walks over and picks out a letter, it’s from Alpha-Zeta, dated a hundred years ago. She finds a different one, Beta-Omega, again, a hundred years old.

LEELA

Praise to Athena. These are replies from the two planets. Mom must have sent letters to them and started the war. We could expose her totally with these. Good work, Bender.

BENDER

Even when I not trying I’m a genius.

FRY

Hey look, it’s the people we’re dressed as.

ON A SECURITY SCREEN: Mom and her sons approach the lift.

BENDER

We gotta cheese it.

LEELA

How, we’re on the top floor?

FRY

Bendito-

They turn to find Bendito has left the office already.

PENTHOUSE

Fry, Leela and Bender emerge from the office to find Bendito slowly opening one of the windows. He turns, caught.

BENDITO

Oh, hi.

(pause)

So I can explain.

MOM (O.S)

Can you?

Exiting the lift are Mom, Larry, Igner and Walt.

MOM

(to Leela)

Well, well, it’s like looking in an ugly, one eyed mirror.

BENDITO

(taking offence)

How dare you.

MOM

Quiet, Bendito.

LEELA

It’s over Mom. We found the letters.

MOM

So I started a war so each side would buy equipment from me, who gives a crap? I’ve seen war start for a lot less.

(laughs)

How exactly are you going to leave with those letters anyway?

Fry, Leela and Bender look to one another, they have no idea. Leela catches Bendito edging towards the open window, spots his escape plan, a good old fashioned rope.

LEELA

I think the real question is. How are you going to catch us?

Leela rushes Fry and Bender to the window, together with a late reacting Bendito they grab the rope and begin to slide down it.

CUT BETWEEN PENTHOUSE AND EXT. MOM CORP.

Everyone is sliding down the rope at pace, but the building is huge, there not even a quarter way down.

FRY

(getting rope burn)

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Mom looks down from the window at them.

MOM

Idiots.

She unties the rope. It slackens.

LEELA

Um, guys.

Everyone looks as the rope passes them by.

FRY

That’s bad, right?

Everyone bar Leela starts screaming, she has to think fast.

LEELA

Everyone grab on to my legs.

They do. Leela slips through the Mom dress, still wearing her normal clothes beneath, and grabs the bottom of each side of it. It catches the air and becomes a makeshift parachute.

Mom stares at them as they float away.

MOM

What the crap? I didn’t know I could do that?

EXT. SKY – CONTINUOUS

Leela is barely clinging on to the dress, she’s being weighed down too much, it’s starting to affect the altitude.

LEELA

We’re too heavy.

FRY

(offended)

What are you trying to say?

BENDER

Wait, I have an idea.

Bender spots the roof of a building coming up. He kicks Bendito off of Leela’s leg. He drops.

BENDITO

(falling)

See you Thursday.

Bendito lands with a thud on the roof. The gang laugh as they begin to gain altitude.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS – DAY

We whip around the building.

INT. LOUNGE, PLANET EXPRESS – SAME TIME

The whole crew sit around watching the news on TV.

MORBO

Mom stock took a dip today as letters emerged showing her to have set the war between Alpha-Zeta and Beta-Omega in motion almost a hundred years ago. However Mom stock trebled in value just hours later when war broke out between Sigma-Epsilon and Kappa-Tau.

Leela turns off the TV, disgusted.

LEELA

Typical, we stop one war just to cause another.

FRY

But at least it’s not the same war, right?

BENDER

The important thing is it’s not happening here.

FRY

Amen.

LEELA

Ugh.

CUT TO CREDITS

#Futurama #Not tall or wide

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