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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 7 years

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I’m struggling to remember an article by CBR which has been worse than this one.

Let’s go through this point by point.

“Peter Parker’s Spider-Man is one of the most famous and beloved superheroes of all time. He has had almost a billion movies (rough estimate) and more cartoons than Mickey Mouse. ”

So first of all even if we were obviously recognizing this as not being intended literally it’s entirely disingenuous. There have been FIVE Spider-Man movies, the sixth one being this year. Excluding crossovers, movie serials or animated films there have been six Superman movies and eight Batman movies.

I don’t see the allegations of ‘a billion movies’ directed at them though.

“However, while we all love Spider-Man (after all, he does whatever a spider can and that includes release pheromones that make you helplessly devoted), we’re not quite sure this particular Spider-Man should be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.”

I agree with the latter point but I’m going to place money that it’s not for the same reasons the article is going to list.

As for the former point that’s literally not part of Spider-Man’s powerset and never has been.

“In fact, there’s an argument to be made that the movies would be a whole lot better if he just dropped dead and allowed a different Spider to take his place.”

Yes there is an argument like that. It just happens to be idiotic and ill considered.

“we firmly believe that Peter Parker’s Spider-Man should take a dirt nap right about now and let someone who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights. (Someone like Miles Morales, for instance.) Anyway, this one’s for YOU, true believers!”

‘We’? Who is this ‘we’?

All of CBR?

I doubt every staffer of CBR believes in this attitude.

Or perhaps this is the royal we?

Moving on...two.

Spider-Man has had TWO different movie franchises to his name. The MCU version will be the third. But like I said Batman has had technically a minimum of 4. No one is complaining at least not as forcefully about him. In fact I notice nobody asking for Robert Downey Junior to shove off and allow Rhodey or somebody else become the new Iron Man even though Tony Stark has starred in 6 movies now and will continue to do so for at least 2 more. The same applies to Captain America who actually had 2 other movies before the MCU as well.

So WHERE exactly is this rule of ‘Well look you’ve had X number of movie franchises that’s enough now’. Frankly given how Peter Parker is you know, Marvel’s mascot, the most profitable superhero ever, one of the three most famous comic book characters of all time, Stan Lee’s favourite character, and frankly THE BEST of all of Marvel’s iconic characters he is absolutely OWED more movies.

Especially when you consider the Raimi and Webb movies didn’t get him right and screwed up various aspects of his history. Never have we seen the Death of Gwen Stacy done right. Never have we seen Mary Jane or Venom done right. Nor Green Goblin. And how about all those iconic Spider-Man stories which were landmarks in the comic book industry?

The Master Planner Trilogy

The Death of Jean DeWolff

Nothing Can Stop the Juggernaut

We’ve only had 5 Spider-Man movies and 1.5 of those retold material from the first 3. None of them went beyond Spider-Man’s college adventures when that is nowhere near the entirety of the character’s journey.

But we want to throw him away for...a derivative version who whilst maybe good unto themselves is objectively not as original nor as actually layered as a character.

Yes, this surely is ‘for us true beleivers’.

And you know SOMEHOW I just knew I’d hear Miles’ name brought up. And brought up first. I do ever so wonder if literally ANY other Spider-Heroes will get a mention.

Oh and learn to spell check will you. I’m not perfect but I don’t write for a professional website that pays me.

Seriously

“who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights.”

This is laughably bad sentence construction. I don’t even know what I’m reading.

15)

“Let’s face it, there aren’t a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man. His villains? Sure, but Spidey himself? He’s unlucky in love, his uncle dies, everyone he knows is actually a villain. That’s pretty much it. ”

Okay so in these few sentences you’ve proven that

a) You don’t know anything about Spider-Man

b) You are thereby unqualified to be writing this article about Spider-Man

c) You are an idiot.

And you see I know all this because nobody who does know anything about Spider-Man, who is thereby qualified to write an article like this about Spider-Man and isn’t an idiot would have ever written that.

Because there are 50+ years of fucking stories across two ongoing universes which prove that you are wrong.

Jesus Christ.

There are a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man’s villains more than Spider-Man? Yeah, because we all remember those plethora of stories about Electro, Scorpion, Shocker and Mysterio right?

They’re soooooo interesting.

Jackass most of Spider-Man’s villains are gimmick characters with cool costumes. Oh he has deep villains like Norman Osborn and Doc Ock and a few others. But Shocker shoots vibrations, Electro electrocutes things, the Rhino literally up until the 2009 was a rampaging brick. They are not Batman’s villains. Some of them have layers but they are not the psychologist’s wet dream like Batman’s rogue’s gallery.

You’d know that if you’d actually read much Spider-Man, which I’m betting you have not.

Similarly you’d know there is much more to Spider-Man than you pathetically oversimplified things down to.

He’s unlucky in love? Yeah because dating the teen secretary to a millionaire media mogul when you are in high school, having the most popular girl in school wanting to date you, dating the daughter of a respected police captain, a thrill seeking reforming cat burglar and actually marrying someone who’s not only very attractive to you, not only an actress/model but also has your back in a crisis is sooooooooo unlucky right? As is dating all those other people he’s been with.

Everyone he knows is actually a villain? Yeah...no. Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn, Frederick Foswell, Felicia Hardy and arguably Jameson are more or less it. Nobody else he knows is actually a villain. Or do you know something about Aunt May and Mary Jane that we do not?

And franlly...not a lot of stories to tell?

Uh huh.

The death of Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man vs. Wolverine, When Commeth the Commuter, the Wedding arc, the Death of Jean DeWolff, the Clone Saga, the Totem saga, the Master Planner Trilogy, Spider-Man No More, the Owl/Octopus War, the Alien Costume Saga and literally too many others for me to list disagree with you...and also call you an idiot who doesn’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

“You can tell an origin story and a pretty good villain story, but after that you’re left treading water. What can you do next?”

I dunno maybe you could examine the realistic pressures of living with the burden of being a superhero and have him decide to give up that burden only to reaffirm the lesson he had previously learned and then choose to risk it all for the sake of emotional fulfilment by being with the woman he loves?

And then perhaps getting arrogant over his apparent successes and letting power go to his head corrupting him into something he isn’t until he reasserts who he truly should be and then has to deal with the ramifications of his actions in the manifested form of a dark reflection of himself?

OR maybe you could have him learn that sometimes using his power to try and save people isn’t enough because someone he cares about dies inspite of his actions and then he has to go through a realistic human grieving process?

I figure MAYBE those could be sound premises for movies other than his origin story.

Maybe?

“Well, you can kill him.”

This is the laziest and most unimaginative idea for a Spider-Man movie I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing. And I’ve heard the idea that Spider-Man has sex with mary Jane on top of a bridge.

“See, Spider-Man’s best stories of the last few years have been when he died — most notably in Amazing Spider-Man #700 and in Ultimate Spider-Man #150”

Again...you don’t know anything about Spider-Man and/or are an incredibly pathetic literary analyst.

Because if you weren’t either of those things you’d have noted how godaweful and just plain asinine Superior was and how mean spirited ASM #700 were. You are talking about a storyline which literally only happened because Spider-Man was so stupid that he didn’t try telling the Avengers his mind had been switched with Doc Ock.

That is if you’ve actually bothered to read the stories. I’m not convinced you have though.

“They’re powerful stories that show Peter is true to his word, and that he knows with great power does come great responsibility… no matter what.”

Maybe the USM story is powerful (and poorly built up) but ASM #700 isn’t. Especially when you consider that Peter DIDN’T die in the story. He’s literally alive in his body in Superior Spider-Man #1.

14)

We really do not need Miles at all.

Miles Morales was created less than 10 years ago and has been the subject of decompressed 4+ part stories including multiple crossovers and events.

What does this mean?

It means long term there is entirely too little material about Miles to justify him being Spider-Man long term and what little material there is not movieworthy.

To begin with almost half his history is tied up in events which cannot by their nature function as solo Spider-Man movies due to the presence of other characters and elements that do not pertain to Spider-Man’s core concept.

Or do you think it’d make for a positively thrilling Spider-Man movie to see him run around trying to stop Galactus (who Marvel don’t own) before a giant Kitty pryde (who Marvel don’t own) knocks him out?

All of Miles’ OTHER stories are equally unsuitable for film as Spider-Man stories.

He works as an agent of SHIELD? Spider-Man is about being a normal guy who happens to be a hero so no spy shit shouldn’t be in a movie.

His mother dies because of Venom? Yay, let’s fridge another woman (and a woman of colour to boot) in a story decision that even the original writer regretted and reversed just three years later.

Oh! He could fight Captain America in another Civil War. Oh wait we just did that movie.

HEY how about having his origin story again?

Audiences will just eat up ANOTHER movie about a smart teenager who gets bitten by a science spider, gains super powers, doesn’t use them when he can resulting in someone dying, feeling guilty about it and then deciding to be a superhero.

I mean they just LOVED seeing that for the second time in 10 years so surely they’d love seeing it for the third time in 15.

On top of all that hey genius, MILES IS A TEENAGER!

There exists ZERO stories about his life beyond his teens which means you have NOTHING to base a movie upon when the actor soon enough ages beyond the point where he’s a teenager. With Peter Parker though you have stories of him as a high schooler, college student, grad student, young man leaving education and a married adult.

“Look, we love Peter, you love Peter, but we need Miles Morales. It’s a different world out there than when we were kids, a world which has six different Peter Parker movies with a seventh one on the way.”

Yes it is a different world. We have 8 Batman movies now as opposed to the 5 from 20 years ago.

And if you mean it’s a different world in regards to something to do with race, putting aside how you know...there are still a lot of white people around...just cast Peter Parker with a poc actor!

That’d be cool and keeps the awesome iconic character of Spider-Man rather than the less developed, less original, has less stories to tell version of Spider-Man.

“Peter Parker is cool and all, but we’re pretty sure most audience members would be fine if he had less movies than Harry Potter. ”

I see...you’ve compiled a comprehensive survey about this have you?

A survey which suggests that mass audiances who’ve been used to Peter Parker being Spider-Man for 50 years would be okay with this other character being Spider-Man whom they no little-nothing about.

Okay.

“Miles, honestly, is just a bit more interesting than Peter. His first reaction wasn’t, “Oh joy, Spider Powers!” it was, “Oh no…” He has a different background, different friends, and a different story — one we haven’t seen on-screen almost 10 times. Give Miles a shot, gang.”

Fuck. You.

No seriously.

A character who is scared by his new powers is more interesting than one who decides to use them for personal gain whilst neglecting the good he can do, learns his lesson the hard way and carries that guilt forward into his life driving him to be a hero?

Jackass your saying 1950s DC characters’ origins are more interesting than the 1960s Marvel characters’ origins which are MORE REALISTIC!

Peter Parker had flaws to his character more serious than Miles’ and took more time to get past. Miles is a good kid who does the right thing relatively quickly.

Peter wasn’t, even when he decided to do the right thing he tripped, stumbled had to get passed his personal issues and grow as a person. He wasn’t immediately great at being a superhero, he ran away crying in his very first issue after a super villain fight. He was hated and hounded by the press and police.

He had to provide for his famiy in the absence of his father figure who’s death he had a hand in. And on top of that had to deal with unpopularity at school and life generally taking a crap on him.

Oh...but he’s ‘just not as interesting’ as the kid who had little-none of that to deal with.

I’m not even saying Miles sucks or hasn’t got a lot of merit.

But fuck you no, he is absolutely not as interesting as Peter Parker was.

As for his different background and different friends guess what genius you haven’t seen that for Peter either. You’ve never seen Flash Thompson or Joe Robertson done properly. You’ve seen only the briefest of glimpses into Jameson. You’ve never seen MJ done right, Jean DeWolff or anything like that.

And again...you saw SOME of Spider-Man’s supporting cast in a mere 5 movies which repeated beats from one another which didn’t cover even a 10th of Spider-Man’s wider history.

13)

“Heck, the comics have already killed him and brought him back a bunch of times! Ultimate Spider-Man was the first series to make a thing of it and it’s the series that Spider-Man: Homecoming most resembles. ”

Again...you clearly no sweet fuck all about Spider-Man.

a) If you knew anything about Spider-Man including the Miles Morales version you would know that Holland’s Spider-Man most closely resembles him not Ultimate Peter Parker

b) Spider-Man died and came back multiple times in the 616 universe long before Ultimate ever did it

“But while he’s dead, we can explore a different and cooler Spider-Man; one we haven’t seen before.”

See above as to why Miles isn’t cooler and why you are unqualified to write this article.

“ But the point is that the comics have killed Peter Parker off before and it worked out wonderfully…”

Yeah like remember that wonderful outcome where a super villain was Spider-Man and tried to rape Mary jane for a whole issue. WONDERFUL!

12)

“We might be belaboring the point here (we can already hear you typing your Facebook comments now), but Peter Parker has been the star of two different trilogies in the span of 10 years (though one was mercifully cut short). ”

‘Two different trilogies’? Up top you said three. Whch is it.

But whilst we’re belabouring points see above about the hypocrisy of using this argument given the number of films OTHER characters have had.

Also learn some mathematics. If a films eries lasts for TWO movies it’s objectively not a TRILOGY!

“There’s no shortage of Peter Parker content out there. Plus, he’s not like Batman where there’s a bunch of interesting characters for him to play off of. ”

I’m sensing a Batfan who doesn’t know much about Spider-Man is writing this.

Regardless Mary Jane Watson, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Jean DeWolff, Flash Thompson, George Stacy, Betty Brant, Liz Allan, Ben Urich, Felicia Hardy, Harry Osborn, Randy Robertson, and Norman Osborn (i.e. the best supporting cast of all comic books ever) grossly disagree with you about there being no ‘interesting characters for him to play off of’.

“There’s basically just Spider-Man and his enemies…”

*facepalms so hard it shatters skull*

As if I needed more confirmation.

Hey asshole? Even people who don’t READ Spider-Man know his life involves his normal people supporting cast waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than his super villains who’re egregiously less important. THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT MADE HIM POPULAR IN THE FIRST PLACE!

“and all those girls he’s too poor and/or nerdy and/or too devoted to his aunt to date.”

Yeah like Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Felicia Hardy, Deb Whitman, Mary Jane, Carlie Cooper, Lian Tang and so on.

He NEVER dated any of them because he was too poor, too nerdy and too devoted to his aunt...who set him up to date one of them.

FFS

11)

“Hey, you know what makes audiences think twice? When you kill off a main character. Remember Phil Coulson’s death back during The Avengers? It was amazing, it was shocking, it was memorable, and it’s a big part of why that movie was better than a lot of other MCU movies — because it had actual stakes. We all genuinely cared about Phil Coulson, as we watched him in all of the different movies.

In the same way, we all genuinely love Peter Parker, and seeing him — especially such a young and hopeful him — dying on-screen would be super devastating and prove that the stakes are real in the MCU. None of the heroes have fallen yet — the closest has been Rhodey getting his back hurt — but at some point one of them is going to have to — why not the one you’d least expect, and the one you might love the most?”

Killing off for cheap shock value and not because it makes sense for the character is a lowly form of writing...also Coulson came back genius.

And if you want this to happen then surely killing off Steve Rogers who also has a black person as his legacy, has had legacies before, had a better death storyline, is a bigger deal to the universe at large and has lived a longer life thus making it less cruel for him to be struck down as a child, would make a million times more sense than Spider-Man dying.

10)

“Peter Parker is more or less regarded as the heart of the Marvel Universe. He’s the youngest, the one most down on his luck, and the one who sacrifices the most to be a hero.”

Yeah...Peter Parker is the youngest hero. As we all know Richard Ryder, Kamala Khan and every Young Avenger ever is older than Spider-Man.

And as we all know he’s the most down on his luck. Daredevil who’s girlfriends have a history of you know...dying looks at Spider-Man and saying “Well at least I’m not THAT guy. He has to worry about his mother’s health. I don’t have to do that because my mother left me to be raised by my Dad whilst she worked as a nun and never sees me.”

“He is the most heroic of all of the heroes in the Marvel Universe and nothing would prove that better than to show him sacrificing himself. Being the true hero.”

We already know how heroic he is and know that he’d give his life to save others. We don’t need him to die to prove that. See Iron man in Avengers Asemble. And you know fucking Quicksilver who already proved stakes are real!

“What would work better to establish him as the beating heart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe than to show that — above everyone else — he is the guy to make the sacrifice play. With all of those others standing so tall, he could stand as the true embodiment of what it means to be a hero. In fact, killing him would show just how much of a hero he always was.”

Again..see Iron Man in Avengers Assemble. And Bruce Banner in Incredible Hulk who wasn’t risking his mortality perhaps but he was willingly condemning himself to a fate worse than death by becoming the Hulk again. It’s established he’d rather be dead than be the Hulk, but he still chose to become a monster again and ruin his life in order to save lives.

Oh and Captain America in First Avenger and Winter Soldier. He was willing to sacrifice himself in the first movie for the greater good and in the second movie it was just to save his BFF.

In fact just see Captain America. In the MCU it’s debatable whether he or Iron Man are the heart of the universe, but Cap is objectively the most heroic.

And you want self sacrifice...dude...Cap was literally a soldier...in World War II.

Spider-Man in the MCU isn’t a hero to that degree yet. In-universe arguably he isn’t that degree of hero yet. Perhaps nobody could top Cap in that regard.

“When Phil Coulson died, it was a rallying call for the Avengers to get back together and take the fight to Loki and help save New York. It was pretty cool but if the Avengers are going to come back together after being so heavily divided, then it’s going to take something big. Maybe something like the youngest Avenger, the one all of them met for a short time, dying in battle.”

So we’re going to kill off Spider-Man not for the sake of his story but for the sake of the wider Marvel Universe thereby reducing him to a prop.

Charming.

Putting that aside this is so stupid because Thor and Hulk don’t even know he exists whilst all other Avengers except for Iron Man don’t know him personally at all. It’d just be some kid who died which is sad to them I guess. Half the team saw him as an enemy anyway.

When Coulson died he was at least on speaking terms with like half the team. He had some sort of relationship with them.

Spidey in the MCU currently does not...at all.

There is more justification for them to be affected by Quicksilver’s death!

“Maybe then the heroes will realize that something needs to be done and the Avengers will… well, you know… Avenge! Spider-Man’s death could be a call for the Avengers to become bigger and greater and cooler than they’ve ever been — and as we know, the Avengers got their name from avenging Phil… why not continue the tradition and avenge Spider-Man?”

How would Spider-Man’s death motivating the Avengers somehow make them ‘cooler’?

And they should probably not continue the tradition by Avenging Spider-Man because it’s cheap and makes Spider-Man’s death more about the Avengers rather than about him. Especially when you consider Spider-Man is about being a normal down to Earth guy. But the global threat fighting taskforce that is the Avengers are going to be motivated by some Goblin nutter offing him?

Or perhaps you mean it’d be appropriate for Spider-Man to die at the hands of a cosmic threat like Thanos even though that’s well outside the remit for his character’s core coneption and theme.

“Unfortunately there are a lot of issues that go against our entirely cool plan to kill the Spider”

Your plan isn’t entirely cool. Merely entirely foolish.

“such as Tom Holland saying he has plans that he’s put forth to keep playing Spider-Man until the character is in his thirties. To wrap your head around that, the Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War is about 15 years old. Holland wants to play this character for 20 freaking years.”

So Tom Holland wants to respect the Spider-Man character and do his story justice by showing him grow and mature into his adulthood which is what Stan Lee his creator and architect of the entire Marvel universe intended and what eventually happened in the comics leading to some of the best Spider-Man stories ever such as the Death of Jean DeWolff.

What an asshole I guess.

“So, unfortunately, it seems like Spider-Man — as Peter Parker — isn’t going anywhere for a very long time indeed.”

Oh no what a shame. Peter Parker who IS Spider-Man, the original, the genuine article, the best one in fact, will remain Spider-Man.

Man...this is almost as bad as when I heard Clark Kent would be Superman.

“It would be like introducing Hank Pym only to have him immediately… oh wait, that actually happened.”

I don’t even know what your saying here. Hank Pym didn’t die in Ant Man.

“nyway, what we’re saying is that grabbing the rights to Peter Parker for the MCU is one of their biggest scoops of recent years — Guardians of the Galaxy big ”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

‘Guardians of the Galaxy big?

What planet are you living on? Guardians of the Galaxy made a lot of money and was a smash hit. Guardians though wasn’t even as big in the movie business as the FIRST Avengers movie.

Peter being in the MCU is an almost UNPRECEDENTED working relationship between two competing film companies, especially when one of them is Disney.

It’s grossly a bigger deal than Guardians, hence news coverage went nuts when it happened moreso than when Guardians happened.

“Yes, okay, while Peter Parker is incredibly prolific across every single form of media, there’s a pretty fair reason for that. The dude is popular. He’s one of the best-selling comic characters (arguably the best selling) of all time. He’s basically a license to print money, and while Miles Morales is pretty awesome and super popular in his own right, he’s not Peter Parker popular. Yet.”

And he never will be.

Peter Parker as Spider-Man is a 50+ year institution.

You say he’s prolific because he’s popular.

But he’s popular because he’s a GREAT character.

Great in ways that Miles, whilst good unto himself, is mostly derivative of.

“While it might be a great creative move, when it comes to money, Peter Parker’s the safe bet. (Which would probably amuse the permanently poor character to no end.)”

Spider-Man isn’t permanently poor. Putting aside stupid stints like Parker Industries or when Mary Jane was raking in the cash as a supermodel, Peter has had periods of time where he is merely financially stable as opposed to poor.

He wasn’t even really ‘poor’ in Ultimate Spider-Man which I’m guessing is the only source of Spider-Man you have that much familiarity with.

And for many reasons stated above, Peter isn’t the best choice creatively. And it because of that that he’s not the best decision financially.

Creatively Peter has 50 years of history to draw on to make great movies out of. Creatively Miles has less than 10 and not even all of that would be conductive for a movie.

“While this is arguably the most controversial argument, it’s also incredibly true. Marvel has a bit of a white-dude-as-lead problem. As in, all of their movies thus far have had a white dude main character. Sure, Black Panther is coming later but, look, if there was another version of Black Panther that was a white dude… let’s just say Marvel most likely would have gone for that version.”

First of all I’m shocked to learn CBR has this massive insight into Kevin Feige’s mindset that they know for a fact they’d make amovie out of the Caucasian Black Panther if he existed.

But hey...here is a thought. Maybe...just maybe...the reason Marvel’s movies have had white leads thus far is because in the source material they base the movies on...the characters are ALSO white?????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look...I’m not saying you should always keep a character white if they were in the cource material, but from a branding point of view and a fan point of view (of which Feige is known to be) it makes a shitton of sense that Marvel would want the characters to visually speaking look like they leapt off the page as much as possible.

So no...Marvel wouldn’t have used the Caucasian Black Panther if they could have, they would’ve used the African Black Panther because Black Panther is in fact someone from the African continent.

Same way they made kept Gamora green and Nebula blue because int eh comics they are effing green and effing blue!

Again, racebending is okay under the right circumstances and Spider-Man was one of those circumstances.

But saying Marvel are determined to have as many white leads as possible is despicably idiotic and judgemental.

“Heck, Ant Man and Wasp is going to be the first movie to have a woman even co-headline! While Marvel makes good movies, they’re also a bit regressive. Suddenly making a movie about a young mixed race kid whose uncle is a thief seems like a bit of an inauspicious start for the company. Give them time, and Miles will appear onscreen. Eventually.”

The same applies here.

Marvel makes movies based upon the source material they have and the most successful source material at that, or at least the one which serves their purposes the most.

And unfortunately most of their big characters in the source material are white males.

Does this mean they shouldn’t do female led movies? No of course not.

Should they have done them before now?

Maybe in the case of Black Widow but otherwise from a practical POV probably not.

MCU Phase 1 was designed to get us to the Avengers and do so as quickly as possible. To that end they did movies based upon the biggest Avengers characters, the real icons.

Cap, Iron Man and Thor are the trinity of the Avengers. Hulk is however the most famous classic Avenger in all pop culture so he had to be in there.

Hence Phase 1 was movies about those guys leading into Avengers.

Phase 2 consequently comprised ONLY sequels to those movies in order to as quickly as possible follow up to the smash hit that was the first Avengers film. The ONLY exceptions to those sequels were Ant Man and Guardians of the Galaxy, both of which were made primarily for PRACTICAL purposes more than anything else.

Ant Man had been in development since around the time of the first Iron Man movie so there was a huge financial incentive to just get it finished and out the goddam door.

Guardians meanwhile existed for the EXACT SAME reason Iron man 2 existed, that is to say set up things for the future. Iron Man 2 primarily existed to set up Avengers whereas Guardians existed to set up the cosmic side of the Marvel universe thereby giving the MCU more potential films whilst also setting up Infinity War by explaining who the Hell that guy from the post credits scene of Avengers was and what these Infinity Stones actually are.

Guardians was a movie they HAD to make more than anything.

So we have 2 necesarry movies and then sequels to the established stuff. Could they have done a Black Widow movie? Maybe but at that point in time there was no indication that there was enough interest in Black Widow to do that and they were already taking a humungous risk on Guardians and to a lesser extent Ant Man.

Black Widow got popular to the point where EVERYONE was demanding she get a movie after Winter Soldier, that film came out in 2014 with phase 2 scheduled to end the very next year meaning they literally had no time to give Black Widow her own movie before Phase 2 was done.

Could they do it now? Sure, but they are also doing a male/female co-lead movie as well as their own female led movie in Captain Marvel.

Could they have done Captain Marvel earlier. Not really no. Carol Danvers hadn’t yet reached her current point of popularity circa the Phase 1 movies and more poignantly she was nowhere near the same level of popular, iconic or a surething as a movie as the Phase 1 characters were, let alone being necessary.

Hulk was the most famous character followed by Cap. Cap along with Iron Man and Thor are THE iconic Avengers, you can’t do a movie without them.

Beyond Carol though all their big female solo heroes do not have the same degree of popularity as other male heroes. Spider Woman and She Hulk are nowhere near as popular as Spider-Man and Hulk so if you are making a billion dollar financial investment in a superhero movie you’re not going to go for the former in favour of the latter, not initially anyway. NOW though we’re in a better position to do that.

Phase 1 had to lay the ground work, Phase 2 had to solidify things and not rock the boat too much, now in Phase 3 the MCU’s place in pop culture isn’t a one hit wonder or five minutes of fame. It is now in a position to be bolder in making different types of movies.

My point. There are legitimate practical reasons as to why Marvel hasn’t yet made a female led movie but we are NOW in a position to make it happen.

“Kevin Feige — the dad of the Marvel Cinematic Universe — has said that Marvel Studios has a clear plan for where Spider-Man’s going to go: and it’s to college. He’s said that he wants to make the Spider-Man movies work similarly to the Harry Potter movies, where each one documents one year of Peter Parker at school. And Feige has said he wants to do at least seven of them, carrying Peter Parker all the way through high school and almost all of the way through college. While Tom Holland’s enthusiasm makes the prospect of Miles Morales appearing as the prime Spider-Man a bit dubious, Feige’s claims make the prospect pretty much dead. Maybe he’ll change his mind, but until then, get ready for years of Peter Parker. Years!”

How dare Kevin Feige wish for Spider-Man to go through the same iconic character arc from the comics which made him popular. And how dare he enter the status quo in which he gained pop culture stardom.

Dropping the sarcasm though this sounds utterly fucking awesome and the correct approach to Spider-Man.

“One problem with replacing Spider-Man is the fact that it hasn’t happened yet — ever. There haven’t been any legacy characters yet, so introducing the idea with Spider-Man would be a bit of an odd step. It would make more sense to have Bucky take over Captain America or War Machine take over as Iron Man. These characters are already set up and their legacies make a bunch of sense.”

Jackass ANT MAN IS A LEGACY!

“Once Steve Rogers or Tony Stark aren’t the men behind their respective masks, the idea of Miles becoming the Ultimate Spider-Man would be a lot more palatable for somewhat squeamish audiences.”

Yu realize Feige has stated he’d rather recast Tony Stark than reboot the MCu right?

I doubt we’re gonna get to the point where Tony and probably Steve get legacied.

“You know what comic books are great for? Advertising. Each comic basically works as an advertisement for all of the toys and movies and video games. That’s how Marvel actually makes all that sweet money from these characters. The money they get from the comics isn’t shabby, but it’s mostly a really well-written commercial.”

Holy crap you really don’t know anything do you?

First of all the comic money is pitiful. It’s chump change in the grand scheme of things.

But more importantly the comics AREN’T COMMERCIALS FOR THE MERCHANDISE!

An issue of Spider-Man is read by at best 100,000 people per month, most of whom are older people who’re less inclined towards buying merchandise. And they are mainly sold through speciality comic book shops which aren’t on the mass goddam market.

This means the comics DOESN’T PROMOTE THE MERCHANDISE THE MERCHANDISE PROMOTES THE COMICS!

How the Hell do you not know that seriously! Whenever a movie comes out the comics contort to be like the movies because they know they’ll get a sales bump from it, not because they think the few 100,000 tops people going to speciality stores and are older people who’ve been reading for decades might be swayed to watch the movie that’s been advertised in trailers and posters everywhere they go in their daily lives!

“Thinking of comics that way, you can see which products that Marvel values highest: and the winner is Peter Parker, who stars in (at last count) three books, with cameos in many more. As for Miles Morales? He has his own and an occasional crossover. ”

*facepalm*

FIRST of all Miles appears regularly in Champions and before that he was regularly appearing in All New All Different Avengers and before that he was regularly appearing in All-New Ultimates.

And what is this ‘occassional crossover’ crap?

Spider-Men

Divided We Fall

United We Stand

Cataclysm

Secret Wars

Civil War II

Miles had tie-ins to ALL of those crossovers and appeared in many of them. In fact he had VITAL roles in the last three I listed.

Wow. I’m shocked because I found nothing objectionable in this final entry on this list.

In summation.

This was laughable and the author should be ashamed of the pathetic levels of ignorance and lack of research evident in this article (for lack of a better word).

I am appalled that the author was paid actual money to make this garbage list.

#spider-man #spider-man: homecoming #Miles Morales #Ultimate Spider-Man #Peter Parker #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #Batman #Iron Man #Ant Man #Captain America #Kevin Feige

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