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stories-of-the-multiverse · 1 year

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((And so!! Imma dewit now!!!

So, this is gonna be a long one, and it’s gonna be divided up into three sections.

Grace, Pico, which are both related to each other for surprising reasons, and the tentative third one is bi erasure.

Grace

So, I’ve expressed before my problems with how Grace is written. A Nice Girl that feels entitled to a man’s feelings when he doesn’t feel the same way. And word of god not only contradicting the narrative, but itself.

Now, why did they need to go the direction of the bitter ex? Who fucking knows! She’s supposed to be a role swap with Pico, but here’s the thing! Basegame Pico was fucking cordial when meeting with his ex! Even despite, you know, being hired to kill him.

There was no fucking reason to make Grace such a fucking brat. Especially considering the circumstances!

Think about it, Ben ran away from home with Pico without so much as a word. Frank already saw them together, so even if no one suspected Pico before, they certainly would now.

Not to mention, she fully believes he’s behind the shooting.

Even if none of the parents painted the picture for her, she probably would have reached the conclusion that Pico kidnapped Ben.

So why couldn’t the focus be Grace making a misguided attempt to rescue Ben? It would be a sort of mirror to Pico’s own attempt to protect Ben, and that would be a perfect source of conflict. And wouldn’t involve making Grace so fucking unlikable. And you can still hint she has unrequited feelings for Ben.

Now, a while back someone pointed out she’s supposed to be a product of the abusive household she grew up.

But that actually was not the intention. After all, according to Tama, she wasn’t abused, she was “overly sheltered”.

A statement which I have several problems with.

First of all, Ben outright admits to seeing parallels between his parents and her parents. Quote;

“You [the Fairests] tried to make me a mindless slave! Just like GF’s parents did to her!”

Now, for context, the Fairests abused the hell out of him. So the fact he saw similarities between both sets of parents, it’s very telling.

Also, “overly sheltering”? Is a form of abuse. Sorry not sorry. Just because she didn’t suffer violence doesn’t mean she didn’t suffer abuse.

It’s also heavily implied her parents manipulate her, not only by Ben, and unknowingly herself, but also Tama themself. I will get to the latter in a sec. For now, a quote!

“NO! MOMMY AND DADDY TOLD ME SO! THEY WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME!”

Girl is... straight up brainwashed.

And we may know a bit about the extent of her brainwashing. After all, she has body image issues. And Ben with his gift art is the only one that makes her feel better about her appearance.

Now, a heavily sheltered girl, meaning her parents would be picky about the content she consumes... And her only friend is fully supportive of her... Where do you think... she might have developed such an insecurity...?

And keep in mind, this kinda shit can lead to eating disorders. Fucking dangerous.

Even if this is just body dysphoria, Ben is still the only one trying to help her with her insecurity. Why aren’t the parents helping?

This still does not look good on them either way.

And now... let’s talk about that thing I mentioned.

So let’s suppose... her parents aren’t abusive.

You know who is, though?

The Fairests.

And according to Tama, both her parents and the Fairests manipulated her into thinking that she and Ben are meant to be together. And I doubt that wasn’t the only instance either.

See, abusive people are hardly ever abusive to just one person. They are a social parasite. The moment they can sink their teeth into you, you become their victim. No matter how many other victims they have.

Now, I doubt they were bold enough to do any physical harm to her. She’s not their kid, so unlike Ben, they don’t have full power over her.

But it’s arguably more insidious. Ben has physical proof. Grace does not. It is her word against theirs. Both sets of parents. I know from damn experience that your word against theirs hardly works. Even if you try to keep note of it.

All this tells me that Tama just has... a really narrow view on what abuse is. That you need to sustain physical injures, possibly scars, for it to be real abuse.

And as someone that has been physically abused when I was in elementary school [Though no scars to show for it as far as I’m aware], and emotionally abused all the way back to at least high school, it genuinely is upsetting to essentially be told, as someone that sorta relates to Grace’s experience, “Hey, by the way? Your abuse isn’t actually abuse. VuV”

This coupled with her being bastardized just for the sake of propping up the mod’s ship is fucking infuriating.

And with the ship in mind, on to part two!

Pico

First of all, fuck you, Pico would not disapprove of Ben’s friendships with the other BFs. What does that say about the knight in shining armor that rescued his abused boyfriend from the abusive birth givers?

Aside from rescuing and taking care of Ben, though, there really isn’t much to his character. He entirely revolves around Ben. You want to know why I think that?

First of all, where the hell is Darnell and Nene?

You know, Pico’s best friends in canon?

Why aren’t they even mentioned? Why does Pico’s relationships seem to either be Ben or people dating Ben’s friends?

Actually, now thinking about it, why is he even friends with Shaya and Neo!GF in the first place? What do they bond over, how to they hang out? Even Grace is described as a little sister to the two Picos from B3 and Neo mods. How the fuck does Toughie hang out with the GFs?

We don’t ever get any information on his relationships aside from Ben.

And that’s not the only thing we don’t get insight on.

Pico’s own baggage.

We see a glimpse of some of it in chapter three when Grace brings up the shooting. And we know he dropped out of high school because of it. But I don’t think that’s his only issue.

After all, he chose to rough it out on the streets as opposed to staying home. And that is despite not only how dangerous homelessness is, but him being believed to be a school shooter and therefore risking harassment. After all, who even tolerates school shooters? Even if you are cleared of a crime, the moment you’re accused, there is always gonna be someone that believes you committed it. And red hair ain’t exactly common, so he’d be pretty easy to recognize.

Despite all that, he decided to live out on the streets anyways.

Doesn’t that imply his home life was far from safe? What could possibly have been at home for him to risk it out on the streets?

Fuck if I know, the mod refuses to even imply it. Which is weird, because you’d think that’d be a point of empathizing and bonding with each other. You know, unless Tama doesn’t see whatever forced Pico out on the streets as abuse either.

Yeah in case you couldn’t tell, I’m still really fucking salty about the abuse shit.

And now... the tentative last part.

Bi Erasure

Okay, admittedly, even despite being pan, I feel a little... ill equipped for this, so this one is gonna be short and a little more wishy washy.

So in case you don’t know, BF is canonically bi.

However, in the Soft mod, he is gay. As in, only prefers men.

This is why I’m a little wishy washy, because on one hand, fuck bi erasure, but on the other hand, gay men deserve rep too.

Though, I will say this.

You don’t have to be a gay man to reject a woman. You don’t have to be a straight woman to reject another woman. You don’t have to be a straight man to reject another man. You don’t have to be a gay woman to reject a man.

You can be bi/pan/omni/poly/etc. and reject someone. Hell, you can be straight and reject someone of the opposite sex. Or gay and reject someone of the same sex. Your orientation does not dictate who you can and can’t reject. If you’re not into them, you’re not into them. Simple as.

My point is, Ben could have still been bi and rejected Grace, and that would have been just as valid.

If I am out of line with this, though, please let me know.

Aaaaand that is me bitching out the Soft mod.

I really do love the themes of the mod. I do.

But it falls flat for me when other major characters’ struggles are either glossed over and barely mentioned, or just dismissed as not a real struggle.))

#OOC #Friday Night Funkin' CW #Pico's School CW #NewGrounds CW #Abuse CW #Manipulation CW #School Shooting CW #Bi Erasure CW #potentially #just being safe #also if someone tries to come in like 'yeah it would also be better if Ben and Toughie weren't together-' stop #keep your gross hands off my post homophobes #Anyway that's it that's the tea-

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leebird-simmer · 1 year

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Psychopathology, Ch. 9 notes

{Note: I have no personal experience with disordered eating and I don’t know how accurate this chapter of the textbook is. If you struggle with an eating disorder or previously have, and you notice incorrect information in this post, please feel welcome to drop corrections in the comments.}

Eating disorders: psychological disorders characterized by disturbed patterns of eating and maladaptive ways of controlling body weight.

Describe the key features of anorexia nervosa.

Anorexia nervosa: an eating disorder characterized by maintenance of an abnormally low body weight, a distorted body image, and intense fears of gaining weight.

Describe the key features of bulimia nervosa.

Bulimia nervosa: an eating disorder characterized by recurrent binge eating followed by self-induced purging, accompanied by overconcern with body weight and shape.

Describe causal factors involved in anorexia & bulimia.

- Eating disorders typically begin in adolescence and affect more females than males.

- Anorexia and bulimia are linked to preoccupations with weight control and maladaptive methods of trying to keep weight low.

- Many other factors are implicated in their development, including social pressures on young women to adhere to unrealistic standards of thinness, issues of control, underlying psychological problems, and conflict within the family, especially over issues of autonomy.

Body mass index (BMI): a standard measure that takes both body weight and height into account.

Evaluate methods used to treat anorexia & bulimia.

Severe cases of anorexia are often treated in an inpatient setting in which a re-feeding regimen can be closely monitored. Behavior modification and other psychological interventions, including psychotherapy and family therapy, may also be helpful. Most cases of bulimia are treated on an outpatient basis, with evidence supporting the therapeutic benefits of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), interpersonal psychotherapy, and antidepressant medication.

Describe the key feature of binge-eating disorder and identify effective treatments for the disorder.

Binge-eating disorder (BED): an eating disorder characterized by recurrent eating binges without subsequent purging.

- People with BED tend to be older than those with anorexia or bulimia and are more likely to be obese.

- CBT and antidepressant medication have been shown to be effective in treating BED.

Sleep-wake disorders: persistent or recurrent sleep-related problems that cause distress or impaired functioning.

Describe the key features of insomnia disorder.

Insomnia: difficulties falling asleep, remaining asleep, or achieving restorative sleep.

- frequently associated with worrying and anxiety, especially performance anxiety associated with overconcern about not getting enough sleep

Insomnia disorder: a sleep-wake disorder characterized by chronic or persistent insomnia not caused by another psychological or physical disorder or by the effects of drugs or medications.

Describe the key features of hypersomnolence disorder.

Hypersomnolence disorder: persistent pattern of excessive sleepiness during the day.

- Despite adequate amounts of sleep, these patients feel unrefreshed upon awakening and aren’t alert during the day.

Describe the key features of narcolepsy.

Narcolepsy: a sleep disorder characterized by sudden, irresistible episodes of sleep.

- may involve genetic factors and loss of brain cells in the hypothalamus that produce a wakefulness-regulating chemical

Cataplexy: a physical condition triggered by a strong emotional reaction that involves loss of muscle tone and voluntary muscle control, which may result in a person slumping or collapsing to the floor.

Sleep paralysis: a temporary state of muscle paralysis upon awakening.

Hypnagogic hallucinations: hallucinations occurring at the threshold between wakefulness and sleep onset or shortly upon awakening.

Describe the key features of breathing-related sleep disorders.

Breathing-related sleep disorders: sleep disorders involving recurrent episodes of momentary cessation of breathing during sleep; often associated with daytime sleepiness.

Obstructive sleep apnea hypopnea syndrome: a subtype of breathing-related sleep disorders more commonly called obstructive sleep apnea. It typically involves repeated episodes during sleep of snorting or gasping for breath, pauses of breath, or abnormally shallow breathing.

Describe the key features of circadian rhythm sleep-wake disorders.

Circadian rhythm sleep-wake disorders: sleep-wake disorders characterized by a mismatch between the body’s normal sleep-wake cycle and the demands of the environment.

- more likely to occur as a result of frequent shifts in work schedule or frequent travel between time zones

Identify the major types of parasomnias and describe their key features.

Parasomnias: sleep-wake disorders involving abnormal behavior patterns associated with partial or incomplete arousals.

Sleep terrors: a sleep-wake disorder characterized by recurrent episodes of terror-induced arousals during sleep.

Sleepwalking: a sleep-wake disorder involving repeated episodes of sleepwalking.

REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD): a sleep-wake disorder characterized by vocalizing parts of a dream or thrashing about during a dream.

Nightmare disorder: a sleep-wake disorder characterized by recurrent awakenings due to frightening nightmares.

Evaluate methods used to treat sleep-wake disorders and apply your knowledge to identify more adaptive sleep habits.

A. Biological approaches

- anti-anxiety drugs are most commonly used; however, this is not always a good long term solution because of the potential for psychological and/or physical dependence on sleep aids.

B. Psychological approaches

- cognitive behavioral interventions have emerged as treatment of choice for patients with chronic insomnia

C. Healthy sleep habits

1. Establish a regular sleep-wake cycle.

2. Limit activities in bed to sleeping (as much as possible).

3. Get out of bed after 10-20 minutes if you are unable to fall asleep; take action to restore a restful state of mind.

4. Avoid daytime naps and avoid ruminating in bed.

5. Establish a regular daytime exercise schedule.

6. Avoid use of caffeinated beverages in the late afternoon & evening.

7. Replace self-defeating thoughts with helpful alternatives.

#eating disorders #disordered eating #psychology #psychopathology #abnormal psychology #my notes #study blog #sleep disorders

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batmanego · 1 year

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how would i know if i have arfid rather than just a Lot of autism related food issues? i relate to your post explaining just how few foods you can eat (all my meals are variations of 1 thing) but id never considered arfid before

ARFID (which stands for avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder) is an eating disorder characterized by a strong aversion to specific foods, textures, tastes, etc. the eating patterns between people with autism and people with ARFID are very similar (i am both autistic and have ARFID) but the diagnostic criteria is a little bit different when compared to autistic eating patterns.

ARFID can essentially be broken down into a few different "types":

avoidant: the most common type of ARFID, individuals avoid certain textures, smells, tastes, or even colors or appearances of food. this is the one MOST COMMONLY associated with the eating difficulties found in many autistic people.

aversive: aversive-type ARFID manifests as a strong fear of vomiting, choking, pain, or other discomfort caused by the consumption of food. this can lead to people outright avoiding food altogether, or simply sticking to "safe" foods.

restrictive: restrictive ARFID manifests as a lowered desire/interest in food as a whole. it is NOT the same as anorexia nervosa: individuals with restrictive type ARFID do not avoid eating out of body image issues but rather because they forget to eat, get distracted during mealtimes, or just have a limited palette like the other two types.

ARFID is also USUALLY found in children and adolescents, and most cases of adult ARFID are the result of the disorder beginning in childhood and just not stopping as opposed to late-onset. ARFID "plus" is another subtype, where someone with ARFID begins developing features of other eating disorders (ie, losing weight and thus mimicking anorexia nervosa).

the diagnostic critera of ARFID is as follows:

"An eating or feeding disturbance (e.g., apparent lack of interest in eating or food; avoidance based on the sensory characteristics of food; concern about aversive consequences of eating) as manifested by persistent failure to meet appropriate nutritional and/or energy needs associated with one (or more) of the following:

Significant weight loss (or failure to achieve expected weight gain or faltering growth in children).

Significant nutritional deficiency.

Dependence on enteral feeding or oral nutritional supplements.

Marked interference with psychosocial functioning.

The disturbance is not better explained by lack of available food or by an associated culturally sanctioned practice.

The eating disturbance does not occur exclusively during the course of anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, and there is no evidence of a disturbance in the way in which one’s body weight or shape is experienced.

The eating disturbance is not attributable to a concurrent medical condition or not better explained by another mental disorder. When the eating disturbance occurs in the context of another condition or disorder, the severity of the eating disturbance exceeds that routinely associated with the condition or disorder and warrants additional clinical attention."

note that last part: ARFID can appear in autistic people, and it is usually diagnosed because the symptoms of ARFID are beyond that which is expected of autism's sensory processing symptoms.

i am not an expert on anyones ARFID or sensory experiences except my own, but if you feel as though your eating habits are impacting your ability to function (whether it be by way of ARFID or any other eating disorder), PLEASE talk to a professional.

#arfid #ed tw #long post

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healthymind1o · 2 months

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How Does Mental Health Affect Young Adults?

Change is always ongoing in our world. It’s essential to pause and talk about mental health problems young adults struggle with. These can be social demands, personal expectations, and so on.

The combination of influences can also affect one’s mental health and internal peace. Below we’ll explore further – the intertwined relationship between mental health and the trials of young adulthood.

We will cover the most important issues, things teens struggle with, and helpful self-care methods. Read on to learn how this information can be helpful.

Defining Mental Health in Young Adults

The first step in addressing mental health issues is to understand their depth. For today’s young adults, mental health is not just a phrase but a reality that surrounds their everyday experiences.

Statistics and Prevalence

Did you know that 20% of adolescents experience a mental health problem in a given year? This means that mental health conditions are alarmingly common among the youth – which makes it an important issue that needs attention.

Common Mental Health Issues Among Young Adults

Although the field of mental health is wide and varied, depression, anxiety, and ADHD continue to be some of the most common problems. Similarly, eating disorders, like binge eating and anorexia nervosa, commonly surface here, representing multiple genetic, biological, behavioral, psychological, and social factors. Digital advancements have created new difficulties, such as obsession with social media and bullying on the web, alongside conventional problems.

How Does Mental Health Affect Young Adults?

Young adults find their mental health deeply entwined in their daily lives, making it hard for them to manage the problems and opportunities that define their developmental stage.

Mental health issues can manifest in different ways. For example, academic dropout rates can increase, professional aspirations can suffer, creativity and energy levels can deplete, and even social interactions can become fraught with anxiety and misunderstanding.

It’s important to curb harmful habits, teach important lessons, and create space for teens and young adults to flourish in mind, body, and social interaction.

The Factors That Influence Mental Health in Young Adults

Several aspects act as either guardians or attackers of a young adult’s mental health. Understanding these influences is essential for creating targeted preventive tactics and measures.

1. Social Media Influence

The widespread nature of social media can have a huge effect on young adults’ mental health. In terms of unrealistic beauty standards and cyberbullying, the internet can be a minefield for those who are coming of age. The constant exposure to edited lives and comparison-based content causes poor self-esteem and a distorted self-image.

2. Academic Pressure

The drive for success in a competitive academic environment can cause excessive stress, anxiety, and mental breakdowns. The pressure to excel, to meet societal expectations, and to secure a future that seems tied to grades and educational milestones can become overwhelming.

3. Financial Stressors

Young people now combat unsure financial decisions. Freedom from debt and steady work search can create worry, especially with uncertain jobs. Knowing about financial resources and how to reach success helps young people.

4. Relationships and Support Systems

Relationships – both familial and romantic, play a huge role in mental health. Positive, nurturing connections strengthen emotional health, whereas toxic relationships can erode it. Young adults need solid support systems to validate their emotions and help them handle life’s ups and downs.

Effects of Poor Mental Health on Young Adults

The consequences of unmet mental health needs are felt across many areas of a young adult’s life.

1. Effects on Academic Performance

Mental health struggles can harm academic performance in young adults. Concentration difficulties, low motivation, and poor decision-making are common symptoms of cognitive impairment.

2. Relationship Dynamics

Mental health disorders affect personal and professional relationships. Emotional instability and a tendency to withdraw can cause misunderstandings and a sense of isolation, causing the problem to worsen.

3. Physical Health Consequences

Mental health issues often have physical symptoms. Young adults can experience fatigue, weight changes, and different aches and pains that are direct or indirect symptoms of conditions like depression and anxiety.

4. Work Productivity

After entering the workforce, young adults with unaddressed mental health concerns might experience a decline in productivity and struggle to perform at their best. Not only does this affect their careers, but it perpetuates a cycle of inadequacy and stress.

Self-Care Practices for Young Adults

Practicing self-care as a daily, non-negotiable routine is imperative for youth to protect their mental health. Combining self-care strategies helps them reduce stress and maintain a positive outlook.

1. Importance of Self-Care Routines

Self-care is more than a concept; it’s a sustainable way of living that includes physical, emotional, and psychological wellness. Young adults must set aside time for activities that refuel their energy and comfort their souls.

2. Mindfulness and Stress Reduction

Practicing mindfulness through meditation and deep breathing exercises helps people manage stress better. These strategies help in managing emotional responses during stressful times in life.

3. Getting Professional Help and Resources

The beginning of self-care is accepting that it’s okay not to be okay. Getting support from mental health professionals or using available resources on college campuses and in the community can provide young adults with the guidance they need to deal with specific mental health issues.

Healthy Mind Foundation provides counseling and psychotherapy services – feel free to get in touch with us.

Supporting Mental Health Awareness in Young Adults

Everyone is responsible for spreading awareness and creating environments encouraging open mental health dialogue. This section discusses societal and communal roles in managing mental health crises among young adults.

1. Community Involvement

Community projects are vital for making communities helpful for young people. Support groups and mental health events help young people talk, share stories, and gain wisdom.

For information regarding community resources within reach, please contact us.

2. Destigmatization Efforts

Stigma is one of the most discouraging aspects of receiving mental health treatment. By dispelling stigmatizing beliefs and normalizing the discussion and treatment of mental health, society can build an inclusive and supportive atmosphere for young adults.

3. Promoting Open Conversations

Having open conversations about mental health from an early age is essential. Normalizing the discussion around common mental health issues and coping mechanisms can help youth feel less isolated and more capable of taking part in wellness.

A Final Note

How does mental health affect young adults? Mental health strongly affects young adults. It affects their education, career, relationships, and life in general. A young person’s mental health is essential – it needs deep insight and severe focus.

We need to pinpoint problems, build knowledge, and advocate for self-care. That way, we’re helping create an emotionally and mentally healthy generation. Let’s start talking about mental health among young adults – then they can meet hardships with strength, knowing they’re not alone.

To teens and young adults: your mental wellness matters. Be kind to yourselves. If you’re dealing with mental health issues, it’s okay to ask for help.

Plenty of experts can assist you in overcoming these hurdles. Well-being is a way of life that benefits you in the present and future.

For more information and to find professional assistance, please reach out directly to us at Healthy Mind Foundation.

FAQ Section

What are some social issues affecting youth today?

Today’s youth face various social issues such as:

●Bullying. ●Cyberbullying. ●Social inequality. ●Substance abuse. ●Mental health stigmas

What are some common challenges for teenagers?

Some challenges that teenagers face are:

Peer pressure.

Academic stress.

Identity issues.

The impact of social media on self-esteem.

What are the current issues facing teens today?

Issues facing teens include:

Mental health concerns.

Addiction to technology.

Navigating relationships.

Worries about future opportunities in an ever-changing world.

How to help young adults with depression?

To help young adults with depression:

Maintain an open dialogue.

Provide a support system.

Inspire healthy lifestyle habits.

You can point them toward professional help as needed.

What are some questions about psychological disorders?

People should ask about the symptoms, causes, treatment options, and ways they can support people living with psychological disorders.

What are the 7 challenges of adolescence?

Identity development.

Emotional regulation.

Peer pressure.

Academic/future planning-related stress.

Changing family relationships.

Body image issues.

Substance abuse.

Why are younger students more susceptible to social issues?

Younger students are more vulnerable to social issues because of:

Limited life experience.

Cognitive and emotional growth developmental stages.

Higher reliance on peer acceptance.

Why is essential mental health important for youth?

Essential mental health is essential for youth as it forms the basis for learning, forming relationships, and building self-esteem and confidence.

What is the best example of a mental activity?

The best example of a mental activity is: Participating in problem-solving exercises, such as puzzles, strategy games, or creative endeavors, are excellent examples of mental activities.

How to explain mental illness to someone who doesn’t understand?

You can explain mental illness through a comparison to physical disease. Describe it as a condition that can affect mood, thinking, and behavior and that it requires understanding and professional treatment.

#mental health #healthcare #health & fitness #health and wellness

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gyminsaltlake · 7 months

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The risks of having exercise addiction

You might be asking what exercise addiction is since, while it might not seem horrible to everyone, it can result in serious issues. After all, countless studies have shown that regular exercise has positive effects on both our physical and mental health; it is crucial to our wellbeing.We are encouraged to exercise more, in contrast to many other addictive activities. There is a phenomenon called exercise addiction, though, and it may have negative effects.

Characteristics of Exercise Addiction

Several characteristics distinguish healthy regular exercise from exercise addiction.

First of all, exercise addiction is maladaptive, therefore it worsens a person's life rather than making it better. Exercise addiction poses a concern to health since it can lead to accidents, physical damage from insufficient sleep, and in certain cases (especially when it co-occurs with an eating disorder), malnutrition and other issues.

An exercise addict works out excessively and for an extended period of time without allowing their bodies a chance to rest because it is persistent. We all occasionally push ourselves too far and need to take a break. But regardless of exhaustion or illness, persons with exercise addiction workout for hours every day. If they are unable to do so, which is their primary method of stress management, they feel worry, annoyance, or emotional pain.

How Is Exercise Addiction Like Other Addictions?

Exercise addiction and drug addiction have a number of characteristics, such as impacts on mood, tolerance, and withdrawal.

Exercise and other addictions have been linked to neurotransmitters and the brain's reward system. Dopamine, for instance, has been shown to play a significant role in general reward systems, and it has been demonstrated that excessive exercise on a regular basis has an impact on dopamine-related brain regions.

Exercise has a positive connotation with pleasure and social, cultural, or subcultural attractiveness, just like other addictive habits and drugs. Similar to those with other addictions, those who become exercise addicts have rigid thought patterns, which might reinforce the habit of addiction by encouraging them to exercise often.9Additionally, research demonstrates that even those who are at a high risk of being addicted to exercise receive support from their family and friends.

Healthy Fitness vs. Exercise Addiction

Only 8% of gym patrons fit the description of a workout junkie.10Exercise addicts follow the traditional pattern of addiction, increasing their exercise dosage to recapture the escapist or natural high they had previously experienced with shorter periods of activity. They experience withdrawal symptoms when exercising is not possible, and after a time of abstinence or control, they frequently resume vigorous exercise. 3% of gym goers believe they cannot quit working out.

Exercisers who are not addicted to exercise cite additional reasons, such as social enjoyment, relaxation, and time alone, that exercise addicts do not share. These additional reasons include health, fitness, weight management, body image, and stress relief.

What to Do If You Think You May Be Addicted to Exercise

Exercise in Gym in Saltlake is a fantastic technique to deal with stress and bad emotions. You may require further support to both recover from your addiction and establish better coping mechanisms if your desire for exercise exceeds your capacity for managing your relationships and emotions. Consult your doctor about the most effective addiction treatment options.

#Gym in Saltlake #gym in kolkata #fitness center near me #ladies gym near me

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xtruss · 9 months

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Since gaining popularity online, the diabetes medication Ozempic (semaglutide) has been increasingly requested to manage weight. Now, there’s a shortage that’s affecting people who use the medication. Photograph By Imyskin, Getty Images

Ozempic is a Serious Drug with Serious Risks. Here’s What to Know.

The diabetes medication semaglutide has recently become a trendy weight loss treatment. But like every drug, there are downsides—and potentially serious side effects.

— By Allie Yang | August 1, 2023

Billionaire Elon Musk credited it for his dramatic weight loss. Celebrity sites allege that many more A-listers are using it to stay trim. And TikTok is full of influencers showing off their startling before-and-after shots showing off their weight loss after using it.

What is it? A medication called semaglutide, which is sold under different brand names, including Ozempic, approved in 2017 for treating type 2 diabetes, and Wegovy, approved just last year for weight loss.

The buzz about these drugs has created a shortage of both, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, which is expected to last for several months—causing alarm among patients with diabetes who rely on Ozempic to help control their blood sugar. Experts caution that it’s important to understand these are not miracle drugs—and that there are risks to taking them outside of their intended use.

Here’s what you need to know about semaglutide, including how it works and the risks.

What’s The Science Behind The Drug?

Semaglutide helps lower blood sugar by mimicking a hormone that’s naturally secreted when food is consumed, says Ariana Chao, assistant professor at the University of Pennsylvania School of Nursing and medical director at the school’s Center for Weight and Eating Disorders. This medication, administered through injection, helps people feel full for longer, helps regulate appetite, and reduces hunger and cravings.

There is significant demand for the drug. In 2019, more than 11 percent of the population was diagnosed with diabetes, while more than four in ten adults classified as obese in 2020.

Patients with type 2 diabetes often have impairments in insulin, a hormone that helps break down food and convert it into fuel the body can use, Chao says. Semaglutide signals the pancreas to create more insulin and also lowers glucagon, which helps control blood sugar levels. This can result in weight loss but experts point out that Ozempic has not been approved for that purpose, though semaglutide at a higher dose (Wegovy) has been.

Wegovy is the first drug since 2014 to be approved for chronic weight management. The difference between the two drugs is that Wegovy is administered at a higher dose of semaglutide than Ozempic. Wegovy’s clinical trials showed more weight loss but only slightly greater improvements in glycemic control compared to Ozempic, Chao says.

The FDA sees Ozempic and Wegovy as two different medications for different uses. Chao says many insurance companies cover Ozempic for diabetes but don't cover Wegovy for obesity—a prime example of weight bias in health care. That's why some medical providers use the two doses somewhat interchangeably, as obesity and type 2 diabetes are inextricably linked–obesity is the leading risk factor for developing type 2 diabetes.

What Are The Risks?

Like every medication, there can be downsides.

The most common side effects are gastrointestinal issues, such as nausea, constipation, and diarrhea, Chao says—and more rarely, pancreatitis, gallbladder disease, and diabetic retinopathy.

Angela Godwin, nurse practitioner and clinical assistant professor at the NYU Rory Meyers College of Nursing, explains that recent reports of extreme vomiting and gastroparesis (delayed emptying of the stomach) are to be expected.

Gastroparesis “just means the food’s in your stomach longer, which then makes you feel fuller longer,” she explains.

Nausea is one of the biggest side effects of medications like Ozempic and Wegovy, and that can always lead to vomiting, Godwin says. In June, the American Society of Anesthesiologists recommended patients stop taking these medications before surgery to avoid aspiration and vomiting.

“Normally, in my experience, it's tolerable,” she says. “But then there are times when I ask [patients], ‘Well, what happened?’ And they [say] they ate too much and ate too quickly. And then yes, the body will vomit it up, because it just can't tolerate that much food anymore.”

These drugs have been extensively studied, but their relatively recent approval means researchers still don’t know what the effects of taking them long term might be.

Continuing research is helping us understand more about what happens when people stop taking these medications—which many may be forced to do amid current shortages. Research does suggest that stopping use of this medication could cause patients to regain weight, especially if they didn’t make any lifestyle changes.

“In almost all weight-loss studies, it really depends on your foundation,” says Stanford endocrinologist Sun Kim. “Your efforts at lifestyle will determine how much weight you lose. If you have your foundations like food, exercise, and sleep, you’re gonna do well.” If not, you might regain as much as 20 percent of the weight lost per year.

These medications can also be incredibly expensive, especially without insurance. Kim says an injection pen can run more than $1,000.

What Does It Mean To Use This Drug Off-label?

Using a drug off-label means using it in a way other than its intended and its FDA-approved purpose, which may not be safe or effective. Ozempic has been approved only for type 2 diabetics, and Wegovy has been approved only for patients with a BMI above 30, or 27 if they have a weight-related comorbidity like high blood pressure.

“There is no scientific evidence to show whether this medication will be effective or of benefit to those who do not fit the criteria from the FDA-approved label indications, such as people with a BMI lower than 27,” Chao says. “We also do not know the side effects or risks in these populations—there could be unknown drug reactions. These medications are not meant to be a quick fix.”

Even if you meet the criteria, experts warn against trying to obtain the medication without a prescription by traveling to countries that don't require them.

“When the medication’s not used under supervision of a health-care provider, then they can come into misuse,” Chao says. “There could be more serious adverse events that can happen.”

Godwin says recent reports of extreme vomiting and gastroparesis are a reminder that patients should schedule regular checkups with their doctor when taking these medications.

“I think it's so popular now that practitioners might be tempted to just prescribe more freely, and then maybe not monitor patients as frequently,” she says.

Patients should not increase their Ozempic dose without doctor approval—which is possible because there are multiple doses in one pen. “They could definitely have a lot of poor side effects, because they didn't titrate up to that level yet,” Godwin says. The same could be said for Wegovy, which comes in a pack of four one-dose pens.

Robert Gabbay, the American Diabetes Association’s chief scientific and medical officer, said the organization is “very much concerned” about the Ozempic shortage.

“The medication has been an important tool for people with diabetes,” he says. “Not only does it lower blood glucose and weight but it has been shown to decrease cardiovascular events—heart attacks—one of the leading causes of death for those living with diabetes.”

A Last Resort?

Still, Kim says that prescribing drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy to patients who are desperate for a new approach to weight loss can make her feel “like a superhero.” By the time patients come to her, they’ve often tried methods like Weight Watchers and following the advice of dieticians. In that case, she says, medications like Ozempic and Wegovy can be a great option.

“What I find is sometimes as they're becoming successful at losing weight, it really does feed into their lifestyle too, and then they're able to be more active,” Kim says. “It’s hard to lose weight. Seventy-five percent of the U.S. population is overweight or obese. I feel that we shouldn't be holding this back if this can help.”

Chao agrees that these medications are a good alternative for those who are unable to lose 5 percent of their body weight within about three months of making lifestyle changes. Still, she recommends trying those approaches before turning to medication.

Patients should “make sure that they're focusing on a healthy dietary pattern, reducing calories, as well as increasing physical activity,” she says. “It’s important they know that even if they are taking the medication, it's not an easy way out: They're still going to have to make lifestyle changes.”

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findingmypeace · 1 year

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Have you seen an endocrinologist? After 10 years of battling and telling my doctor something wasn't right and symptoms very similar to yours which only started following my eating disorder (and are maintained despite having been recovered for years) . Endocrinologist did an extensive blood panel and looked deeper into my hormones and identified the issue there.

Its so interesting that you asked this because not even a few hours before I was researching this on my own. However, we’re probably talking about different symptoms. I hadn’t related my lightheadedness, weakness, dizziness or anything like that to something hormonal. I didn’t even know that’s possible but that would definitely explain some of my long term symptoms like chronic migraines and nausea (unrelated to the migraines).

I’ve struggled with a lot of things for the majority of my life. I got my first gray hair in high school and by my early 30’s I was completely gray. I’ve I always thought it was genetic because both my parents were the same way. I have heard that could be related to hormones.

And I have little hairs on the chin. I have heard this happens to most people I but have also been told this could be hormone related as well.

Also, to preface this, in this context it’s not really ed or body image related. I mean, it has been but at the moment that’s not what I’m focused on. So for pretty much all of my adult life my stomach has looked pregnant. It sticks out just like someone is several months pregnant. Even just a few weeks ago I was wearing a particular shirt and sitting in the office at work and a client walked in and the first thing he said was asking me if I’m pregnant. I was able to not take it personal because he has an intellectual disability and doesn’t quite understand social standard. But, yes, in terms of the ed this does effect my body image. However, I have heard that this may actually be related to a hormone or vitamin deficiency that causes the stomach to swell. I’m not sure if that’s the cause so I’d like to do a little more research. But if there’s a fix for that it would absolutely be amazing!

So I definitely want to get all of this checked out. I’ve actually been meaning to but I keep forgetting to ask about it. Maybe next time I get labs done, if I remember, I can ask them to check my hormones. This is stuff I am interested. Not to mention I am now 41 and I’m sure that plays a role.

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liftwellnes · 1 year

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Four Common Types Of Eating Disorders

There is so much I want to convey to you about eating disorders. I have been a student of eating disorder recovery for the past seventeen years, working in the trenches with recovering people and absorbing, night and day, any materials, knowledge or behaviors that could be helpful to them. With this said, I need first to start at the beginning, assuming you are educating yourself for the first time about this fatal disease, and in need of a basic overview of this illness, which manifests in four major forms (below) and currently affects more than 24 million Americans. Eating Disorders are an array of mental disorders that display unusual eating behaviors or habits with serious health consequences. All eating disorders are rooted in an obsession with food, the shape of one’s body or body weight. Fascinatingly, eating disorders are mental health issues that become physical health issues, interfering with every aspect of a person's functionality, with a host of bodily implications as well as cognitive, psychological and social. Eating disorders are a leading cause of death in teenagers in the U.S.

The symptoms of eating disorders can include food restriction, binges on food, and purging by vomiting or by over-exercising. The average age of onset is 18 years-old for both bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa and 21 years old for binge eating disorder. People tend to suffer for a minimum of seven years, if they survive the course of disease. Some are affected throughout the lifespan, spending years in and out of treatment facilities, or worse, never receiving the proper help at all. I will begin my overview by discussing Binge Eating Disorder, which is characterized by recurring binge eating episodes during which a person feels a loss of control and marked distress over his or her eating. Unlike bulimia nervosa, binge eating episodes are not followed by purging, excessive exercise or fasting. As a result, people with binge eating disorder often are overweight or obese.[1]

Bulimia Nervosa is characterized by binge eating (eating large amounts of food in a short time, along with the sense of a loss of control) followed by a type of behavior that compensates for the binge, such as purging (e.g., vomiting, excessive use of laxatives, or diuretics), fasting, and/or excessive exercise. Unlike anorexia nervosa, people with bulimia can fall within the normal range for their weight. But like people with anorexia, they often fear gaining weight, want desperately to lose weight, and are intensely unhappy with their body size and shape.[2]

Anorexia Nervosa is characterized by a significant and persistent reduction in food intake leading to extremely low body weight in the context of age, sex, and physical health; a relentless pursuit of thinness; a distortion of body image and intense fear of gaining weight; and extremely disturbed eating behavior. Many people with anorexia see themselves as overweight, even when they are starved or severely malnourished. [3]

Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) – according the 5th edition of the Diagnostic Statistics Manual (DSM-5) is seen in my practice often in the pediatric population. Characterized by an eating or feeding disturbance (e.g., apparent lack of interest in eating or food; avoidance based on the sensory characteristics of food; concern about aversive consequences of eating) as manifested by persistent failure to meet appropriate nutritional and/or energy needs associated with one (or more) of the following: significant weight loss (or failure to achieve expected weight gain or faltering growth in children), significant nutritional deficiency, dependence on enteral feeding or oral nutritional supplements, marked interference with psychosocial functioning. ARFID is made known as such when the disturbance is not better explained by lack of available food or by an associated culturally sanctioned practice, and the eating disturbance does not occur exclusively during the course of anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, and there is no evidence of a disturbance in the way in which one’s body weight or shape is experienced. To receive a diagnosis of ARFID, the eating disturbance is not attributable to a concurrent medical condition or not better explained by another mental disorder. When the eating disturbance occurs in the context of another condition or disorder, the severity of the eating disturbance exceeds that routinely associated with the condition or disorder and warrants additional clinical attention. ARFID goes beyond picky eating in toddlers, and needs treatment by an eating disorder professional therapist as well as a specialized nutritionist, and medical monitoring from a pediatrician who is educated in the condition. ARFID is not a phase and can morph into anorexia given the absence of treatment. The information I share is meant to provide a better understanding of four common eating disorders and to dismiss common misconceptions of what eating disorders are. It’s important to note that these are serious medical and mental disorders which do not work themselves out. If you think you have an eating disorder or know someone who might have one, call us today or see a healthcare practitioner who specializes in eating disorders.

See our website at Lift Wellness Group.

#eating disorders #types of eating disorders #eating disorders recovery

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embarkbehavioralhealth · 1 year

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Adderall and Ritalin Misuse: What Parents Need To Know

With teen Adderall and Ritalin misuse a real issue for some youths, you may wonder if your teenager is improperly using these prescription stimulant medications. Many young people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have found that stimulants, along with behavioral treatment, can help them focus and accomplish tasks. But when teens start taking Adderall or Ritalin, also known as methylphenidate, to give them an extra push, there’s reason for concern. In fact, if your teenager is misusing these medications, they can even develop an addiction. Table of contents- Ritalin vs. Adderall - Why Are Teens Misusing Adderall and Ritalin? - What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Adderall or Ritalin Misuse? - Mental Health Side Effects of Adderall and Ritalin Misuse - Can Teens Become Addicted to Adderall and Ritalin? - How Do Adderall and Ritalin Affect Teens With and Without ADHD? - What Do I Do if I Think My Teen Is Misusing Adderall or Ritalin? - Should I Take My Teen to a Counselor or Psychologist if I Suspect Substance Misuse? Ritalin vs. Adderall When speaking about Ritalin vs. Adderall, it’s important to remember that both are stimulants that assist those with ADHD who may have lower levels of dopamine. They cause the brain to release more dopamine and norepinephrine, which are neurotransmitters that help improve concentration. There are differences between them, though. Adderall is a combination of amphetamine and dextroamphetamine. Ritalin and Concerta are brand names for methylphenidate. These drugs are Food and Drug Administration Schedule II central nervous system stimulants and controlled substances, meaning they’re prescription drugs that are more likely to be dangerous or misused. Because of that, it’s important to note that Ritalin is a faster-acting drug whose effects wear off quicker. This can be dangerous, as someone using it to get high may take more to feel a longer high. Why Are Teens Misusing Adderall and Ritalin? Keeping up with everyday activities, academic pressure, and even body image can all be causes of teen Adderall and Ritalin misuse. School is a common reason. Some students are seeking energy for all-nighters when final exams approach and papers are due. Over the years, caffeine pills, herbal supplements, energy drinks, over-the-counter stimulant medications, and countless pots of coffee have been called upon to keep students functioning through the night and into the morning. Several years ago, teens — and young adults — added Ritalin and Adderall to that list of chemical study aids, believing these stimulants give them energy and focus.   Some college students refer to ADHD meds as "smart pills" because they believe these stimulants help them retain information better, even though scientific studies have never confirmed this belief.  Another reason some people take these stimulants is to use them as an appetite suppressant for weight loss.  What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Adderall or Ritalin Misuse? According to Dr. Jyotsna Nair, who serves as residential psychiatrist for Embark Behavioral Health’s Calo Programs, a residential program for preteens and teens, there are multiple symptoms of Adderall and Ritalin misuse. Nair said, “Look for changes in behavior. Parents should look for falling grades, secretiveness, and lying. When someone is misusing amphetamines, they drink more water, they don’t get hungry, and they eat less."  She also advised looking for dilated pupils, higher body temperature, and a higher heart rate.  There are additional symptoms of Adderall misuse and symptoms of Ritalin misuse that may pop up. If your teen is taking Adderall, look out for: - Social withdrawal. - Aggression/anger. - Mania. - Impulse control issues. - Difficulty sleeping. If your teen is taking Ritalin, watch for: - Reduced appetite. - Anxiety. - Dehydration. - Insomnia. - Irritability. Mental Health Side Effects of Adderall and Ritalin Misuse Side effects of Adderall misuse and side effects of Ritalin misuse include long- and short-term mental health issues. “The number one concern I have about the impact stimulant misuse has on mental health would be psychosis,” Nair said. “Psychosis would be hallucinating and responding to what’s not around, as though the person was losing touch with reality.” According to Nair, long- and short-term mental health side effects of misusing these medications include: - Irritability. - Anger. - Panic attacks. - Nervousness. - Trouble sleeping. - Manic behavior or episodes. - Psychosis. Can Teens Become Addicted to Adderall and Ritalin? Parent talks with teen about Adderall addiction and misuse after finding pills in his backpack. You may be concerned about whether taking ADHD medications can lead to either an Adderall addiction or a Ritalin addiction. Because these stimulants impact a person’s ability to focus and perform under pressure, teens may want to use more and more of them if they believe they’re experiencing positive changes when taking them. Because the side effects — including possible addiction — can be harmful, Schedule II prescription drugs should only be used under the careful supervision of a doctor.  According to Nair, “Most teens won’t become addicted because it’s less common for teens to regularly misuse these drugs.” But addiction is still a possibility, especially among teens who self-medicate for undiagnosed ADHD or who take it as an appetite suppressant for weight loss.  Doctors spend a considerable amount of time working with a patient to ensure they're getting the correct dose based on weight, age, and individual response. They also closely monitor for side effects. A teen borrowing ADHD medications from a friend may therefore be taking a dose that their body isn’t meant to handle.  And since Adderall and Ritalin are stimulants, if adolescents take them at higher doses, they can experience euphoria and other side effects that could encourage them to keep misusing these prescription drugs — which means an increased risk of addiction.  How Do Adderall and Ritalin Affect Teens With and Without ADHD? When a person has ADHD, several systems in the brain have trouble connecting with each other, partly because the ADHD brain does not produce and retain enough dopamine long enough. This means people with ADHD have trouble concentrating or controlling their impulses and emotional responses.  As mentioned earlier, Adderall and Ritalin stimulate the production of dopamine. For people with ADHD, the right dose may increase their abilities to focus, complete tasks, limit hyperactivity, and control their impulses.  What about the effects of Adderall on teens who don’t have ADHD? According to this research by Brown University, the University of Rhode Island, and Breidholt Service Center, when individuals who don’t have ADHD take these medications, there’s not a significant effect on improved cognition.  What Do I Do if I Think My Teen Is Misusing Adderall or Ritalin? If you suspect your teen is misusing ADHD medication, you may jump to conclusions about how to stop Adderall addiction and how to stop Ritalin addiction, such as removing the stimulants altogether. But if your teen needs them due to an ADHD diagnosis, hasty actions could hurt more than help. Communication is key. “Talking openly with your kids about all kinds of topics, including drug misuse, helps your teen share their struggles with you,” Nair said.   If, after talking, you still think — or confirm — your teen is misusing Ritalin or Adderall or another ADHD medication, Nair recommended contacting your primary care provider and getting a referral for psychiatry and substance use therapy, including evaluating if there's a need for addiction treatment.  “Your primary care doctor is usually the gatekeeper for referrals and knows your teen well,” Nair said.  If your teen is not misusing Adderall or Ritalin and you want to be proactive so they don’t misuse them in the future, educate yourself and your child about the impact these stimulants have on young people if used incorrectly. Should I Take My Teen to a Counselor or Psychologist if I Suspect Substance Misuse? If your teen is taking prescription stimulants to study better or to lose weight, they’re feeling pressure regarding their academic grades or their body image. However, using stimulants doesn’t help them deal with overwhelming stress or study effectively. It’s a short-term fix that carries high risk for your teen.  Consulting with a mental health professional with experience treating substance misuse in young people can help you and your child find effective and healthy treatment options for dealing with whatever is troubling them so you can best address teen Adderall and Ritalin misuse.  Embark is the most trusted name in teen and young adult mental health treatment. We’re driven to find the help your family needs. If you’re looking for support, contact us today! Read the full article

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mhmulticarehomeopathy · 2 years

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Healing Hair Loss with Homeopathy

Nowadays both man and women have suffered a very common disease like, alopecia or hairs loss problem in the world. Alopecia refers to any hair loss in any part of the body that is normally hairy and includes thinning of hair, baldness and excessive hair fall. Alopecia has however, come to be known as hair fall specifically on the scalp. We know that our hair is made up of three parts: a visible hair shaft, a root beneath the skin, and a follicle from which the hair root grows. Hair is made of a type of protein which is called keratin. The average person loses maximum 50 to 100 hairs per day. These hairs regrow in the same follicle on your head and are replaced. This level of hair loss is quite normal and causes no concern. However, if you're losing more than that, then something isn't right or you are suffering in alopecia and baldness issues.

Hair fall is not just a cosmetic blow to the person who suffers from it, but it also has a major psychological impact on an individual's self-image and personality.

A person with falling hair ends up losing or spending a fortune trying to stop the hair from falling and preserving one’s crowning glory. Here we discuss best homeopathy medicine for hair fall control and Baldness problem.

Alopecia areata affects people at any age, but it is most commonly noted in early childhood and adulthood. It is not a painful or a disabling condition, but it may profoundly affect one’s personality making it a cause for embarrassment also.

Homeopathy offers an excellent treatment for alopecia aerate, particularly for early-detected cases and mild to moderate cases.

Common Causes of Hair fall or Alopecia:

The causes of excessive hair fall can vary from person to person as there are various possible reasons for this phenomenon.

Stress: Physical or mental stress can cause temporary hair loss. The reason for this is that the hair follicles enter the telogen phase prematurely; this causes them to stop growing new hairs and to shed hairs.

Drugs:

Many drugs can also cause hair loss. Here are some drugs which may cause hair loss - Anti cancer drugs, Epilepsy drugs, anti-acne drugs, Lipid-lowering drugs (clofibrate, bezafibrate), ACE inhibitors for blood pressure, Drugs for treating gout , Anti malarials (chloroquine)

Skin disorders:

Some disorders of the skin, for example psoriasis, tinea infection, lichen planus on scalp may cause hair loss.

Aging:

Hair loss increases likelihood increases with age. By 35, 40% of men have noticeable hair loss, while by 60 65% do. Also elderly hair tends to be more thin and fine giving more of an appearance of hair loss.

Hormonal:

Since hormones both stimulate hair growth and cause hair loss, hormonal changes by far have the biggest impact on hair loss. These can affect both men and women. Men generally have hair loss concentrated in a specific pattern from the front through to the crown. Women tend to have thinning throughout their head without being in any specific pattern. This type of hair loss is caused by the androgen DHT, or Dihydrotestosterone. Since everyone has DHT that is produced by their bodies and only some people suffer from hair loss there has to be another factor involved. This other factor is having follicles that have a greater number of Androgen receptors for the DHT to attach to. This is the component that is inherited through the genes.

Deficiency in Diet:

If iron in the body is low then this may cause hair loss also, this is generally more a problem with women. Some people who go on low protein diets, or have severely abnormal eating habits, may develop protein malnutrition. To help save protein the body shifts growing hair into the resting phase. If this happens massive amounts of hair shedding can occur two to three months later. A sign of this is if the hair can be pulled out by the roots fairly easily.

Thyroid problems:

Both an overactive thyroid and an underactive thyroid can cause hair loss.

Birth control pills:

Women who have a genetic predisposition to suffer from Androgenic Alopecia can have it occur at a much younger age by taking birth control pills. The hormonal changes that occur trigger the onset of the Androgenic Alopecia.

Trichotillomania or Hair Pulling:

Some children and less often adults play with their hair by pulling on it or twisting it. This can be part of a behavioral problem. If the behavior is not stopped permanent hair loss can result from the constant stress on the hair.

How Homeopathy helps to cure Hair fall or Alopecia?

A proper homeopathy treatment can be proved most beneficial for the treatment of any type of hair loss as homeopathy treats the root cause of any health disorders. Hair loss due to any mental and physical stress can be well treated by proper homeopathy treatment as homeopathy medicines gives good impact on psychological and spiritual level thus helps to maintain a healthy mental condition and indirectly regulate to maintain a healthy balance of stress hormones in our body.Homeopathy looks to treat the cause of the disease rather than just symptoms. It heals the patient from within. Homeopathy believes that disease is a result of an off-balance of the individual and not just a local disturbance in the body. It cures the disturbance of the person rather than just the symptoms of the disease. Therefore, the treatment is a holistic approach and the results long lasting and effective. Once properly treated with homeopathy, the disease generally never reoccurs. Get effective result for hair fall at multicare homeopathy. Homeopathic medicines for alopecia and baldness treatment which offer a long term cure boost re-growth of hair & control the progress. Visit nearest clinic for the best hair loss treatment.In addition to a good homeopathy treatment a healthy nutrition habit is also highly required for a healthy hair and hair follicle. A low protein and iron deficient diet can make your hair weak and thin. So a well balanced natural diet is strongly advisable for healthy hairs.

#Homeopathy Treatment for hair fal #Homeopathy Treatment for hair fall #treatment for hair fall #homeopathic medicines for haif fall #best homeopathy treatment for hairfall

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schmergo · 3 years

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I’m gonna get a little more serious and personal than I usually am on social media here for a sec, so sorry if this is annoying. Anyway, I never had an actual eating disorder, but, like many young people, I struggled on and off with somewhat disordered eating habits and negative body image for many years.

Between ages 9 and 20, every year or two, I would suddenly get into a groove of weird restrictive behaviors around food, either because I felt like my life wasn’t going well enough and I needed to be punished, or because I felt like my life was going too well and that I wasn’t pretty enough to deserve it. I would stop for a year or two, and then when it came back, I’d be even more strict with myself.

For example, for a year in elementary school, I only let myself eat yogurt for lunch, not because I particularly liked yogurt but because I Decreed It Must Be So. For a year in high school, I would throw out my lunch every day and go to the library during lunch time, on the excuse that “you aren’t allowed to have food in the library, and I need to do homework.” And while studying in London in college, I would only let myself eat 800 calories a day. I was only allowed sweets on Wednesday, but no actual meals on that day, just the dessert. I used the excuse that I was trying to save money on food, but calorie restriction isn’t the most efficient way to save money. These are just a few examples of some of the little phases I fell into-- I finally stopped after that last one because I felt so awful when I came home from that semester and had to eat around other people again that I just went, “Never again.” I still don’t have very good body image, but it’s better, and I don’t do strict rules around food anymore.

I never lost much weight or developed health problems from it, and I was always either a healthy weight or slightly overweight, but I know those weren’t very healthy habits to have. But I guess I didn’t realize that even though the behavior itself wasn’t super extreme, the way it was ingrained into my mind was more insidious and deeply-rooted than I thought.

The reason I mention this is that I recently got into a kick of rereading some of my old writing. I did a TON of writing as a teenager and wrote a lot of book-length stories, many of them fanfiction. Most of my work is fairly humorous, light-hearted, and a lot of it falls into the ‘fantasy’ genre. There are darker themes at times, but the endings are usually happy. I was reading a romantic comedy “book” that I wrote in high school and enjoying the blast from the past when I realized something strange about the narration. It’s written in first person, and the heroine/ narrator is written to be a fairly attractive character-- her friends think she’s pretty, she receives a few compliments on her appearance, and she attracts the interest of at least two dudes in the story. As written, she’s athletic and in good health.

But the narration CONSTANTLY seems to obsess over food, her appearance, people’s body types, and comparing her body to everyone she interacts with. If she’s eating lunch at the same time as a coworker, she complains in her internal monologue about having to make excuses for her food choices so that her coworker doesn’t judge her for what she’s eating. She makes jokes about a pregnant family member, saying she enjoys hanging out with the pregnant character because she feels skinny next to her. She seems to think she looks horrible and unpresentable when not dressed to the nines and frets over how unflattering her work uniform is. She makes snarky remarks about her best friend’s husband’s weight and constantly seems to feel inferior in terms of appearance compared to her own very athletic boyfriend, thinking other characters are judging her appearance when she’s with him. She both seems to envy and make fun of her skinny best friend’s body. And she talks about food A LOT. At times, she’s so conscious of her appearance and how she looks, even when she’s alone, that you almost feel like she knows she’s in a story and has strangers observing her.

If you had asked me at the time that I wrote it if I intended that character to have body image issues or food issues, I’d say no, she’s just a sarcastic, snarky, funny person who likes to make self-deprecating jokes and that she knows she’s considered conventionally attractive. But reading it seemed honestly pathological-- like, it permeated the entire thing. The comments happened on every page. I didn’t notice at all at the time, and that really tells you where my mindset was.

I think it can be hard to separate an author’s feelings from a fictional character’s feelings at times. Sometimes when a fictional character has a problematic viewpoint, they’re really a mouthpiece for the author, and sometimes the author intends it to be a negative trait or a biased belief. In this case, I expressed opinions about food and body types that were way harsher than I would ever say out loud in real life or admit to anyone in my life and used a character who, if you asked me, had a healthy and confident attitude toward her body, to express them. I guess I just thought everyone’s internal monologue was like that. I figured attractive people were just as obsessive as I was but better at self-discipline. I honestly believe a lot of the books I read as a teenager may have been written with a similar attitude to mine.

I think I still have a slightly distorted self-image-- for example, at a recent doctor’s appointment, discovered I weigh 30 pounds less than I thought I did-- but I have a much clearer-eyed view of this stuff that I couldn’t see before when I was in the thick of my body issues. When you’re deep in this stuff, not only can you not see your physical shape accurately, you also can’t see your behavior, beliefs, and thoughts for what they really are. It all seems normal.

I’m not sure what point I’m trying to make here, but I do think that the stuff we create can reveal so much more about our own biases, insecurities, and sometimes even harmful beliefs than we’d ever suspect. Those thoughts tend to linger longer than the actions themselves-- I sometimes still think about myself the same way now that I did then, I just don’t let it change my behavior anymore. And like I said, my actions never got so severe that they harmed me physically, but I hope the thoughts that I expressed in my writing, which I published online for people to read, didn’t mess with any other impressionable young people’s self-esteem or habits. Fairly mild mental health issues are especially weird like that-- you don’t really notice the change the way you might with more severe symptoms, and you don’t really think you’re seeing the world or yourself any differently from your peers. It all seems totally normal at the time until you look back.

#tw: body image #body image cw #eating disorder cw #cw: eating disorder #disordered eating cw #tw: disordered eating #writing #weight cw #tw: weight

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fixyourwritinghabits · 3 years

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genderqueerbashir: if conversion therapy was presented as a neutral i’d find that sus too

I think you may be assuming I’m writing this from the perspective of a skinny person. Believe me, I’m not. I’m well aware of the dangerous effects diet culture has on people physically and mentally. I’m well aware of the issues that food deserts, poverty, and mental health have on weight. BMI is a bad system of measurement that fails to account for differing body types (mainly of BIPOC). Eating disorders can occur in kids as young as eight, and eating disorders in men are vastly overlooked. We have a great deal of effort to make toward dismantling negative attitudes toward fatness overall.

However. Weight is complex issue that is different for everyone. Your ethnic background, your body type, your medical history all has an affect on your weight, and this is a very personal, individual thing. Weight loss is neither inherently good nor bad. Weight gain is neither inherently good nor bad. There is no moral value to apply in what often comes down to genetics, class, and medical history. Medication can cause weight loss/gain. The development of certain conditions, like Crohn’s or diabetes, can cause weight loss/gain. Changing your diet for personal or medical reasons can cause weight loss/gain. Shit is complicated from person to person, and there is no moral good or moral failing in either.

Body positive media is a great thing! There’s a reason I brought up Dumplin’, and if you haven’t read Sonya Renee Taylor’s The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love for how to tackle all things tied up in bigotry, well, you should!

thenearsightedmicroraptor: "There is nothing wrong with writing a character wanting to lose weight for health reasons" there! Actually is! [link broke]

thenearsightedmicroraptorBasically dieting is incredibly unhealthy and ineffective and being fat is not unhealthy . Writing a character losing weight and framing that as making them healthier is spreading fatphobic myths, and I would Not recommend it unless your character has body image issues or is severely misled. In which case, that should be shown in the narrative

With great apologies, that link won’t work for me (tumblr why), but I do need to clarify I meant health reasons as ‘this is necessary in order to deal with a specific health issue’ and not ‘being fat is unhealthy, therefore lose weight’. (And to be clear just being fat is not a specific health issue.) I should have been much clearer about that originally, sorry. You are absolutely right, diet culture is bad for you both mentally and physically..

Also some great comments:

jonsnowhites: As a fat person, there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing about a character losing weight. It is a goal for many of us and a must for some, as it can or already does affect our health. The main issue is to write it respectfully. Make sure you don't make it sound like weight loss somehow makes your character a better person or more worthy in the eyes of their peers (unless, of course you want to write a critique on that).

stitchy-queerista: Also as a fat person, it's important to remember that almost no one loses a significant amount of weight and keeps it off forever. If the story takes place over an extended period of time (5+ years for example), it would be very unrealistic for them to still be thin, regardless of why or how they lost weight.

#characters #thanks most of y'all for being great at giving feedback and perspectives in the comments #it always helps the question askers!

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melanielocke · 3 years

Text

Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 19

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised

Previous Chapter: Chapter 18

Next Chapter: Chapter 20

Cordelia and Lucie returned to the lake when Cordelia was finally done training. She looked forward to going for a swim and cool down a little, training all afternoon in the heat might not have been the best idea ever, and she understood Lucie had given up on practicing magic sooner. She had no idea how exhausting it was to open a portal. It looked like Lucie simply asking for favors, but Cordelia expected it was exhausting in its own way, different from swinging a sword. The last time she’d even seen shadows gather around Lucie, although she didn’t think Lucie herself had seen anything. It made Cordelia wonder how her magic worked. Did the darkness come from inside of her? Or did it come from everywhere, finding its way to Lucie? And could it be dangerous? What if such power corrupted people?

It wasn’t that surprising magic tired her though. Alastair’s ability could exhaust him too. As far as Cordelia knew he was always tired, and she wondered if his memory had anything to do with that.

Alastair and Thomas were already there, they’d swum all the way to the island. Cordelia didn’t think Alastair had swum in some time. Cordelia hadn’t either before coming here, mostly because she had struggled so much with finding swimwear she liked that also fit. Boys had it easy when it came to finding swimwear, she thought to herself. All they needed was find a pair of swim shorts that fit around their waist, whereas Cordelia needed a top that fit properly and a bottom that was high waisted enough for her to feel comfortable. She knew it was stupid, but she didn’t like wearing something that bared her stomach. She did enjoy swimming though, now that she could.

They returned just in time for dinner, and Lucie changed into her lounge clothes, which consisted of a very large and long Green Day shirt she wore as a dress, tucked in the waist with a black lint she’d tied into a bow at her side.

‘I’d been wondering where that shirt had gone,’ Thomas said when he saw her.

Cordelia loved that Lucie could look so good in a shirt that apparently belonged to Thomas and was supposed to fit him.

‘I think I asked you if I could borrow it,’ Lucie said.

‘I don’t remember that,’ Thomas said.

‘It was several months ago, so that could be why you don’t remember.’

‘Are you going to give it back at some point?’ Thomas asked.

Lucie shrugged. ‘Maybe,’ she said.

Thomas sighed. ‘At least Barbara has a boyfriend she can steal clothes from now. Sometimes I feel like my closet is a free for all.’

Cordelia didn’t think Alastair was the type to steal Thomas’ clothes, he always dressed in well fitting clothes, eager to impress. She guessed Thomas’ shirts and sweaters had to be comfortable, but Cordelia didn’t like to wear clothes that were baggy and oversized. Cordelia always felt like they made her look much bigger, and being both muscular and chubby had caused some issues with her body image.

Thomas returned to his parents after dinner, and Alastair went to his room. Cordelia followed him upstairs while Lucie was writing. She’d been meaning to talk to him.

Alastair was cleaning up in his room. She didn’t think it could get any cleaner, yet here Alastair was, carefully rearranging his bed.

‘Did you want to ask something?’ he asked without looking up from changing the bed sheets.

‘I did, can I come in?’

‘Sure, but give me a moment to finish this. Thomas is coming to sleep over tonight,’ Alastair said, ‘I figured I’d change the bed sheets and add an extra pillow.’

‘That’s sweet of him,’ Cordelia said.

‘It is. Thomas said he wanted to protect me from nightmares. I don’t think that’ll work but I’m learning to feel safe around him.’

Cordelia knew to Alastair, a sense of safety was hard to come by. He’d been unsafe for so long he struggled to recognize when he was safe and loved. They’d been working on that together, Cordelia trying to figure out the best ways to support him and make him feel safe, ways to help him through flashbacks and panic attacks. It had taken some time, but Alastair had slowly started trusting her with his feelings.

‘What did you want to talk about?’ Alastair asked.

‘I think I’m in love with Lucie,’ she confessed.

Cordelia had been close to Lucie for a long time, she struggled to tell the difference between their friendship and falling in love, but lately she’d started to suspect what she felt was romantic love.

Alastair grinned. ‘Well, that means your taste in women is decidedly better than your taste in men. Do you think she likes you?’

‘I don’t know. I know she likes girls, but I’m not sure she likes me.’

‘Isn’t her story about you titled the Beautiful Cordelia?’ Alastair asked.

Cordelia tilted her head. ‘Yes, but I think that’s not so uncommon. I mean, she started writing that story when she was twelve and lots of twelve year old girls write main characters who are constantly described as being exceedingly beautiful and perfect and courageous.’

‘But aren’t many of those characters an idealized version of the author themselves?’ Alastair asked. ‘Lots of twelve year old girls are insecure about how they look and some write themselves as how they wished they looked.’

Cordelia had definitely been insecure, and she knew Alastair was still insecure about his dark features. She often made fun of his dyed blonde hair, which he’d thankfully died back to black, but she knew it was because Alastair was insecure about how he looked as a brown man. His hair was one of the few things about his appearance he could change.

Cordelia had too, she’d been insecure about her brown skin and dark eyes, she’d believed her red hair, a very uncommon feature for an Iranian girl, was the best part about her appearance. But Lucie’s story had dedicated pages to describing the beauty of Cordelia’s brown skin and dark eyes, and Cordelia had read many books written by women of color where girls were celebrated for their brown skin and dark hair and eyes. And she’d read books about fat or mid sized girls written by fat authors where their bodies were celebrated or just not that important in the long run, which had helped Cordelia feel less insecure about her body

‘Lots of twelve year old girls describe their main characters as so skinny people thought they had an eating disorder, but you know that although it’s written in a negative light, it’s supposed to be a compliment,’ Cordelia said. ‘You’re probably right, that the authors wanted to be thinner and therefore wrote their characters that way.’

At twelve, she’d gravitated towards stories with those main characters, because of her own insecurity. At that age she’d barely been able to read books with a fat main character. Of course, most fat girls in books back then hated themselves and could only have a happy ending after losing weight, but Cordelia suspected back then she would not have been able to appreciate books about fat girls loving themselves as she could now. Even though at twelve years old, Cordelia hadn’t even been fat.

‘But Lucie didn’t write an idealized version of herself,’ Alastair said. ‘She wrote about you.’

‘There was a side character called princess Lucinda, who was the fictional version of Lucie,’ Cordelia said. ‘But when it came to descriptions of how characters looked, Cordelia was always the most beautiful girl around and everyone fell in love with her at first sight. And I mean literally everyone.’

‘The obvious explanation would be that she likes you,’ Alastair said.

‘She didn’t realize she liked girls until recently,’ Cordelia said. ‘She started writing the beautiful Cordeliayears ago.’

‘She might not have realized she liked you,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve never read much from the story, but from what did read, I cannot think of another explanation for this.’

Cordelia had to admit her brother had a point. Still, she was nervous when she returned downstairs to Lucie, who was still writing. She looked up when Cordelia sat down next to her with a book.

‘I introduced Mabel,’ Lucie said. ‘Eloise just fell asleep and woke in the dreamworld, and is trying to figure out where she is and how to get out, and although she doesn’t trust or understand Mabel, they are forced to work together. And Mabel at this point thinks Eloise is just a conceited rich girl. So a bit like Pride and Prejudice.’

Cordelia wondered if she was anything like Mabel and if Eloise was anything like Lucie. Or perhaps the other way around, she wasn’t too familiar with either character yet.

‘I like Pride and Prejudice,’ Cordelia said. ‘So they go from being enemies to being in love?’

‘Not enemies in the sense that they’re on opposite sides or anything, but they do strongly dislike each other at first, which will slowly develop to grudging respect to genuine respect to friendship to I would die for you. It’s a fun dynamic, but difficult to write and space out. And of course Eloise is in the dreamland the whole time, whereas Mabel is only there at night when she’s sleeping.’

‘So, if Mabel can talk to Eloise while they’re asleep and she also wakes up into the real world, could she serve as a line of communication between Eloise and her family?’ Cordelia asked.

Lucie’s eyes lit up. ‘Of course, that’s an excellent idea. Now the first time Mabel visits Eloise’ house, her family doesn’t listen to Mabel, which reinforces her negative beliefs about Eloise, but eventually she gives in and tries again and tells them something only Eloise could have told her and then the family does begin to trust her.’

‘How exhausted does Mabel get from all this?’ Cordelia said. ‘Since she gets to adventure in her sleep?’

‘Well, the adventuring in her sleep does count as sleep,’ Lucie said. ‘But you have a point, it would probably be less restful than normal sleep. Perhaps Eloise’s family can take her in and provide for her family so she can get enough rest to visit the dreamland.’

‘What do your characters look like?’ Cordelia asked. ‘I’m thinking about drawing them for you.’

Cordelia hadn’t drawn in some time, but had brought some art supplies with her. She wasn’t particularly talented, but decent when it came to drawing Lucie’s characters, although she still struggled with drawing men.

‘Oh that would be fantastic,’ Lucie said. ‘I always like to have something to visualize, but I can’t draw a straight line. Alright, so Mabel is from a poor family, and works in a factory to support her family, so she’s going to look a bit dirty and stained. She has dirty blonde hair and brown eyes and freckles and is a little underweight because she struggles to feed herself and her mother and younger siblings.

Eloise on the other hand is from a wealthy family, although her mother was poor, and she wears fancier clothes like the dress Jessamine wears. She has dark brown hair and gray eyes and because she always had enough food and likes sweets, she is fat.

Maybe Mabel judges Eloise for her weight at first, because Mabel is poor herself but I’m thinking that might not go over well to a modern audience.’

Cordelia tilted her head. ‘Maybe not. But it’s nice to have a fat main character, I don’t think there are enough of those.’

Nor were there enough queer main characters, women of color main characters, the list could go on. Cordelia often wished she could see herself more in books, and Lucie understood that. Lucie often recommended her books based on what she was looking for.

‘Yes, exactly,’ Lucie said. ‘And it gives me an opportunity to write away any insecurities I have about gaining weight. One of the great benefits of stealing Thomas’ clothes is that it rarely happens that they suddenly don’t fit anymore.’

Lucie had told her she’d gained some weight over the past year, but as it had happened slowly, Cordelia found it difficult to tell the difference. She and Thomas used to have eating contests together, which was a bit of an odd hobby but both seemed to enjoy it, and Lucie was probably the only one who stood a chance against Thomas, but ever since gaining weight she’d gotten too insecure about it.

Cordelia thought Lucie would look good at any size, and hated how being taught to be insecure had made her give up on a weird but fun hobby.

‘That sounds like a good idea,’ Cordelia said. ‘I’m going to get my art supplies and get started.’

***

Alastair and Thomas were in Alastair’s bed together, in each other’s arms. It was nice, warm, comfortable, Thomas asking every now and then if it was still okay, if he wanted to be kissed, if certain parts of his body were alright for him to touch. Alastair didn’t think he’d ever get enough of this. Thomas’ arms were firm and strong and applied just enough pressure to his body to be comforting.

He was whispering to Thomas in Farsi, terms of endearments he had not imagined using for someone else after Charles.

‘What is it you’re saying?’ Thomas asked. ‘Is that Farsi?’

‘It is,’ Alastair said.

‘What were you saying?’ Thomas asked. ‘Lucie and I tried to learn Farsi for Cordelia, but so far we only learnt a few phrases and my accent is probably terrible.’

‘Likely,’ Alastair agreed, ‘but it’s nice that you’re learning. I could help you.’

Charles had never cared much for his language, or his culture. Of course, at the time Alastair had tried to distance himself from his heritage, all too aware how people treated him for it. He’d thought people would accept him better that way. After all, people often claimed foreigners should adapt to the dominant culture. He knew better now, and loved that Thomas showed an interest in the language.

‘That would be amazing. You are fluent, aren’t you?’

‘My mother mostly spoke Farsi with us at home, and aunt Risa still struggles with English. She understands everything you say, but cannot express herself well enough to feel comfortable, so we always speak Farsi with her. So I’d say Cordelia and I are fluent, yes.’

‘So, what were you just saying for me?’

‘Kharâbetam. I am ruined for you. Nooré cheshm-am. The light of my eyes. Ãtashé del-am. The fire of my heart.’

‘Wow. That all sounds so romantic,’ Thomas said.

‘Farsi endearments can be dramatic, but I like that,’ Alastair said.

‘I’ll try to learn some of those,’ Thomas promised. ‘Learning the language will undoubtedly be easier with a native speaker around.’

Thomas started kissing him again, wrapping his arms around Alastair, still checking if everything was alright. He threw in some terms of endearments of his own, phrases Alastair did not understand, but recognized as Spanish. He remembered Thomas saying his father often spoke Spanish around the house and Thomas was fluent himself. Alastair wasn’t sure what exactly Thomas was saying, but it sounded sweet.

He started to wonder if Thomas wanted to move things along. Part of Alastair wanted to, part of him was scared. Truth to be told, he wasn’t sure what he wanted, and he’d much rather follow Thomas’ lead.

He didn’t realize what was happening at first. Thomas, apparently, did long to move things along, and asked if it would be alright to take off some clothes. Alastair said yes, even if part of him was still scared. It would be fine, he told himself. This was Thomas, who loved him and would stop if Alastair asked him to.

And at first it was amazing. Alastair gently traced the stretch marks on Thomas’ back with his fingers. It must have been hard on the body, to grow so much in only a few years. Thomas used to be so small… He didn’t feel like it was going too fast, he was taking his time admiring Thomas.

And Thomas was still sweet as always, asking what was alright. Alastair said yes to everything. He wanted Thomas, wanted to find out what it could be like with someone who cared for him. But the more intimate their kissing, their exploring each other’s bodies became, the more Alastair was reminded of previous times he’d done this. Stop, he told himself. This wasn’t like it was with Charles. This was Thomas and he was sweet and perfect and would never do anything Alastair wasn’t comfortable with. But he fell back into the memory anyway. It wasn’t real, he told himself. He was here with Thomas, but he couldn’t feel Thomas anymore. Instead, he was with Charles, and he was scared and uncomfortable, but didn’t dare say anything because what if Charles would abandon him? It wasn’t real, he told himself. He’d done something wrong, he felt, Charles had been upset with him most of the evening and Alastair didn’t know why. He couldn’t figure what he’d done wrong, and at the time he’d thought it reasonable to make it up to Charles like this, pushing himself despite his fear and discomfort. Doing whatever he asked for because he’d clearly done something wrong and he wanted to show Charles he loved him. Now Alastair felt shame for allowing all this to happen. He felt Charles’ hands on him, and yelled at him to stop but it was a memory and in the past Alastair had never asked him to stop. There was nothing he could do now, nothing to change the past. In the distance, he heard a voice calling to him. It wasn’t real, he reminded himself. He wasn’t with Charles, he’d done nothing wrong, and he had nothing to make up for.

‘Alastair, are you alright?’

‘Get away from me!’ Alastair yelled and he wasn’t sure if it was directed at Thomas or Charles or both of them.

‘Alastair, what do you need me to do?’

Thomas sounded like he was freaking out, but he was still there. It wasn’t real, he reminded himself. Thomas was real. His bedroom was real. He felt something in his arms, something soft and hairy. He focused on that sensation, stroking the soft thing. Alastair had always had a fondness for soft things, his hedgehog, nice blankets. He loved how it felt under his fingers, how it could put him at ease to stroke his hand over something soft. It was his hedgehog, he realized. Thomas had found Mr. Prickly somewhere between the sheets and shoved it into his arms. It was something to focus on. He held Mr. Prickly against him, stroking it gently, focusing on the sensation underneath his fingers. This was real. He could see the hedgehog. Could see Thomas, asking him to breathe, talking to him.

‘Don’t panic,’ Alastair told Thomas as he sat upright, hedgehog in his lap.

Part of him was tempted to send Thomas away, to not let him see Alastair like this. He wanted to yell at him to get out of here and retreat into his protective shell, but what would be the point? Thomas had already seen the worst, nothing to be done about that now. Besides, it would be rude to expect Thomas to sleep on the couch or go back to his parents at this hour. This was a bad idea. He tried to breathe, keeping all his attention on Mr. Prickly. Perhaps he should give trust a try, he told himself. Perhaps he and Thomas could work through this. He knew it was unlikely, but Alastair forced himself to at least give it a try.

‘I’m not panicking,’ Thomas protested. ‘I just really didn’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt you.’

‘This was a good move though,’ Alastair said, cradling Mr. Prickly against him.

‘What happened?’ Thomas asked. ‘Did I do something wrong?’

Alastair sighed, how long until Thomas would give up? He wanted to take this further, he wanted to be able to have sex with Thomas without it reminding him of past times. He was older now, and although he was still scared he also wanted to have sex. And Thomas deserved it, deserved a partner who could satisfy him. Alastair wasn’t so sure he could.

‘It’s not you, eshgham,’ he said slowly. None of this was Thomas’ fault. It was his, for being too broken to be a good lover. ‘You know I have these flashbacks, right?’

‘Yes, I do. Did I do something to trigger a flashback?’

‘I didn’t realize it would happen,’ Alastair said. ‘I thought I was ready. I wanted to sleep with you. But then something reminded me of him, and I fell into a memory. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s nothing to be sorry for. I just don’t want to hurt you,’ Thomas said.

‘I do not always know what will happen,’ Alastair said. ‘One thing that helped me greatly in therapy is learning to identify triggers. Alcohol is an obvious one, of course. But because of Charles, intimacy is also difficult. I thought it would be alright. I was a little nervous, but I also really wanted it.’

‘It’s alright to wait,’ Thomas said. ‘As long as you need. We haven’t even been together that long, and I’m fine just cuddling. If that’s still alright. Honestly the idea of having sex makes me nervous too. You know, since I’ve never done it.’

Alastair could still see a hint of disappointment on Thomas’ face, but right now he just couldn’t. He was so tired, he didn’t think he’d ever feel rested again. He’d had a long day, he reminded himself.

‘You know what, maybe we should go outside,’ Thomas said.

Alastair frowned. ‘Outside?’

What did Thomas have in mind? Cuddling outside in the grass? Alastair imagined it would be cold.

‘I like watching the stars,’ Thomas admitted. ‘When I was young and so sick I had to stay in the hospital, Barbara gifted me some books by Stephen Hawking. Children’s books he’d written with his daughter, not the complicated ones. I had a bit of an obsession with the galaxy then because of these books. It’s very calming, so maybe it’ll help you.’

‘So, you want to watch the stars with me?’ Alastair asked.

‘I could point them all out to you,’ Thomas said. ‘If you like that, I mean. London is too light for stargazing, there’s nothing to see, but here that’s not the case and the sky is very clear tonight. Not a cloud to be seen. Unless you’d rather go to sleep?’

‘I’m not sure I’d be able to fall asleep right now.’

Alastair reluctantly followed Thomas. Will and Tessa were still downstairs, both reading as they often did.

‘We’re going to watch the stars,’ Thomas announced.

Will looked up from his book. ‘Well, enjoy. Don’t stay out too long, it’s cold outside.’

Will was right, it was cold outside. Alastair wished he’d worn something warmer than his pajamas. They sat down on the garden lounge set, Alastair finding a comfortable position sitting in between Thomas’ legs in front of him, laying back against his chest with Thomas’ arms around him. He was exhausted, flashbacks always did that even if he was still too alert to fall asleep. Perhaps after a while he’d doze off here, leaning against Thomas.

‘Do you know how to find the polar star?’ Thomas asked.

‘I’ve heard it had something to do with the bear constellation?’ Alastair asked.

He’d read about this ages ago, but stars had never been a particular interest of his even if he’d had many unusual interests in his youth. He’d read a few things here and there, but barely remembered anything.

‘Yes. That there’s the big bear.’

Alastair tried to look where Thomas was pointing, which was difficult, but he recognized the saucepan shape of the big bear constellation. He’d long been confused why it was called a bear when it clearly resembled a pan or a ladle more, but later he’d learnt there were actually more stars to the constellation, the pan shape was just the brightest.

‘Now you must follow the two stars at the side of the pan shape, into that direction and there’s ursa minor. Although ursa minor doesn’t really look like a bear, it just looks like a smaller version of the saucepan.’

Alastair had to look for a while, but he could find the constellation Thomas described.

‘Now, the end of the pan, that’s Polaris,’ Thomas said proudly. ‘True north. So, if you ever get lost at sea, you now know how to navigate.’

‘If I get lost at sea, I’d probably die of other causes first,’ Alastair said. ‘Dehydration would be the obvious choice.’

‘I guess that’s true. But if you’re lost at sea with a huge supply of water and food that won’t go to waste, then it might be nice to actually know how to navigate.’

‘You think that’ll happen?’ Alastair asked.

‘Oh, probably not,’ Thomas said. ‘But I’ve always liked the idea of finding my own true north. I’m actually planning to get a tattoo. I haven’t told anyone, I’ve been working up the courage to ask my parents.’

‘What kind?’ Alastair asked.

‘A compass,’ Thomas said. ‘But I was thinking of combining it with a flower, a rose I think. I have made a few sketches, I’ll show you someday.’

‘Where did you want to get it?’ Alastair asked.

‘Just here, on my arm.’

Thomas leaned a bit forward, against Alastair’s back, and showed him a spot on his wrist. Alastair mindlessly traced the spot with his fingers, and he could feel Thomas’ shiver beneath his touch. If a subtle touch on his arm could get such a reaction out of him, what would happen when Alastair was able to move things along and have sex with him? He felt another pang of guilt, at being unable to, at wanting to please his partner yet falling into a memory of a previous partner he’d been desperate to satisfy.

‘It’ll look amazing here,’ Alastair said. ‘Do you think your parents will not approve?’

‘Oh I’m thinking they will, they were supportive when Genie wanted to get her nose pierced at least. I know some parents can be absolutely horrified about their children getting tattoos and piercings.’

‘My mother would probably have a heart attack,’ Alastair agreed. ‘When I was fifteen, she caught me smoking in the windowsill. Let’s just say I did not dare smoke again. Which was probably for the best, because quitting now would have been harder than it was then.’

‘I remember you smoking just outside school,’ Thomas said. ‘Back then I thought it was attractive. Now I’m glad you quit, I really wouldn’t want you to get sick because of it.’

‘I wasn’t really occupied with that at fifteen,’ Alastair admitted. ‘I guess I figured I wouldn’t live long enough to get cancer from smoking anyway. But I also didn’t really have the money to keep buying cigarettes, so there’s that. Smoking is a very expensive pastime. And I could breathe much easier after I’d quit and had far better stamina.’

Alastair wasn’t even sure why he’d liked it back then. Part of it was to fit in, sure, but he’d also smoked at home, hanging out of the window so his room wouldn’t smell. Nowadays he found the scent of cigarettes disgusting and overwhelming and he couldn’t imagine ever smoking again.

Thomas pointed out several more stars and constellations for him. ‘That’s Orion,’ he said. ‘With the brightest star, Sirius. The dog star.’

‘Like in the Black family in Harry Potter,’ Alastair said. ‘Looks like a face with a crooked mouth.’

‘I think J.K. Rowling just pulled out a constellation map when she needed names for Black family members,’ Thomas said. ‘Do you like Harry Potter?’

‘I used to,’ Alastair said. ‘But that was before Rowling’s transphobia became widely known. I understand why some people still like the series and separate it from her, but I heavily associate them with the damage she did to trans people.’

‘Understandable,’ Thomas said. ‘Those books were a great comfort to me as a child. Besides the George’s secret key to the universe series.’

‘What was that about?’

‘Those are the space books I mentioned. It’s about a boy named George, whose new neighbor is a scientist with a daughter around his age. He grows closer to the girl and her father, and discovers he has a super computer that can create portals into space. And then there’s an evil former colleague of the scientist who wants to steal the computer. It was very entertaining, but also educational, explaining the universe and the stars and planets in a way that’s understandable for children. And when I could go back to school I told everyone I’d read a book by Stephen Hawking. Of course, at that age half the children had no idea who that was.’

‘That’s just adorable,’ Alastair grinned. ‘Was your teacher at least impressed?’

‘I think so. I think she did suspect I read his children’s books and not his more serious work, but I could tell the others everything about the stars.’

‘I’m getting very cold,’ Alastair said. ‘And sleepy. I could probably fall asleep right here if I wasn’t so cold.’

‘Oh, am I that comfortable?’

‘Don’t let it rise to your head. I’m going to bed, you coming?’

They returned upstairs, both Will and Tessa were still reading and Alastair wondered how long they would keep that up.

They both found a comfortable way to lie down in the bed, and Alastair found it reassuring that Thomas was still here, even if it was difficult to be near someone. Charles wouldn’t have stayed. Charles would not have helped him through a flashback. Charles would have scolded him for being so emotional and left him alone.

‘Good night,’ Thomas said.

‘Good night.’

Alastair slept peacefully that night. Perhaps it was Thomas, perhaps the hedgehog, or perhaps he was simply too tired to still have nightmares. He didn’t feel rested when he woke up the next morning, but he didn’t feel as tired as yesterday either. Thomas was still asleep, his mouth slightly open, clutching the blanket. Alastair was very glad Thomas didn’t snore. He was quiet in his sleep, breathing softly.

Alastair checked the time, six in the morning. What a useless time to wake up. No one else would be awake yet, but there was no point in going back to sleep either. He remained in bed, not exactly motivated to get out either. When would Thomas wake up? He was an early riser too, but six was a probably a bit too early. Miraculously he did fall asleep for a bit longer, with a hazy dream he did not remember when he woke up. Seven thirty, which meant he’d gotten another hour and a half of sleep.

Thomas woke around eight, and Alastair was still in bed, contemplating getting up to make breakfast.

‘Did you sleep well?’ Thomas asked, yawning.

‘Well enough,’ Alastair said. He didn’t usually fall back asleep after waking up around six, and had slept about as well as he could. He was still tired though, which didn’t surprise him after yesterday, and unmotivated to get out of bed.

‘I thought so. I woke at some point in the middle of the night and you seemed so peaceful.’

‘I have been told I am very still when I don’t have nightmares,’ Alastair said. ‘When Cordelia and I shared a room, she once thought I might be dead in the middle of the night when I was just sleeping.’

Of course, at the time Cordelia hadn’t quite understood his mental illness yet and feared he might be suicidal. She’s panicked and woken him up to make sure he wasn’t dead, and Alastair had assured her he had no intention of leaving her alone.

‘I didn’t think you were dead,’ Thomas said. ‘Just at peace for a change. So, do you feel rested?’

‘As I said, I never feel rested,’ Alastair said. ‘But I feel like I can face the day, and that’s good enough.’

‘Maybe someday,’ Thomas said. ‘I liked sleeping next to you and I do feel rested.’

Alastair groaned. ‘Of course you do. So, if you have an endless supply of energy for the day, you would have no issue making me breakfast.’

‘For sure,’ Thomas said to Alastair’s surprise and he got out of bed. ‘Do you want toast? ’

‘And coffee,’ Alastair said.

‘Maybe you would be less tired without the coffee,’ Thomas said.

Alastair frowned. ‘What are you talking about, coffee is what keeps me alive.’

‘Yes, but frequently drinking coffee builds tolerance. Drinking lots of coffee regularly won’t make you more energetic, it only makes you more tired when you don’t drink coffee.’

Alastair fell back onto the bed. ‘I still want coffee,’ he said, not willing to give in and admit Thomas was right.

‘Alright, coffee it is,’ Thomas said and he changed out of his pajamas.

Alastair took his time to admire the view until Thomas put on his shirt. He still found it hard to believe that this Thomas was the same small boy who’d followed him around years ago.

He didn’t get out of bed until Thomas returned to announce he’d made breakfast. Part of Alastair had still expected him to only make his own breakfast, but when Alastair was dressed and entered the kitchen, there was a cup of coffee and some toast with jam finished.

Thomas was sipping from a cup of English tea. ‘Do you want milk or sugar in your coffee?’

‘No,’ Alastair said. ‘I just drink it black.’

‘I’ve never liked coffee,’ Thomas said. ‘I think it tastes terrible.’

‘It does taste terrible. It’s supposed to be terrible. But at this point I’ve drunk so much coffee that I tolerate the taste. I need it for energy.’

‘I prefer tea myself.’

‘That’s not tea,’ Alastair said. ‘That’s an abomination.’

Thomas stared at him.

‘Wait until I introduce you to my mother,’ Alastair said. ‘She makes the best rose tea you’ve ever tasted. You’ll never drink that stuff again.’

‘Rose tea?’ Thomas said.

‘It is common in Iran to add rose petals when making tea. Tea is a very popular drink, and my mother is very precise on how she makes her tea,’ Alastair explained. ‘Just tell her you like her tea and she’ll adore you.’

‘That’s good to know,’ Thomas said before taking another sip of his English tea.

‘Risa is more critical though,’ Alastair added. ‘She might not be so impressed.’

When Cordelia had dated James, his mother had instantly adored James because he was polite and loved her tea. Risa had not been impressed at all and had not been afraid to let it show. All English people were polite after all and it was often only a façade. Alastair hoped she would treat Thomas better.

‘Maybe we should work on your Farsi before meeting Risa,’ Alastair added. ‘If you speak Farsi with her she’ll probably like you.’

‘That sounds promising,’ Thomas said.

‘You’re up early,’ said a sleepy voice.

Cordelia was still wearing her pajamas, her red hair tangled and messy.

‘As you well know, I’m always up early,’ Alastair said.

Cordelia nodded. ‘Are you ready to go find a selkie skin?’

#Cordelia Carstairs #Lucie Herondale #Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #Thomastair #Lucelia #fanfiction #the last hours #tlh

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hermannsthumb · 3 years

Note

I know you don't usually write PRU stuff, but if you ever feel inclined, here's a ficlet idea! so: Newt is trying to fight off the Precursors by constantly reminding himself that He Is Human. but whenever newt thinks about what makes him Feel Human, the answer is always hermann. so newt starts conjuring up vivid mental images of hermann (doing mundane, hermann-y things) to ward off the Precursors. bonus point if, like, newt fondly remembering smth innocuous (like the scent of Hermann's chalk dust?) is enough to actually sever the alien mind control.

Anonymous asked: Maria!!! Would you ever write an angsty post uprising prompt? Or even a pre uprising? Anything with Newt fucking around with Kaiju and being sad i am HERE FOR 👏

in honor of the sequel’s 3 year anniversary, let’s try something a little different 👀 THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME RE: LENGTH....I'll leave it up to interpretation whether or not the bonus is wholly fulfilled.... also on proofing this I realized it might need content warnings? so vague refs to disordered eating and alcohol drinking (ie, newt’s body is inhabited by aliens who forget how human stuff works)

-----------

Honestly, Newt’s life has been kind of a shitshow lately. He’s too, like, high strung. Too many responsibilities. Not enough hours in the day to get that shit done. He’s even higher strung than he was during the war, which is nuts, because certain doom was lurking around every corner. Maybe that’s why it’s not that nuts, though. The war was chaotic—and Newt’s fueled (or, used to be fueled?) by chaos. The kaiju were unpredictable. The kaiju didn’t run on a 9-5 schedule. The kaiju didn’t expect Newt to have three new jaeger prototypes on their desk by noon on a fucking Saturday, which is usually the day Newt spends two hours in his expensive bath tub and drinks a nice bottle of wine, and definitely not a day he wants to spend giving himself a stress migraine and shouting at underlings to make themselves useful. On top of that, his usual cafe got his coffee order wrong—when Newt had to run in to get it, himself, on a Saturday morning—and it only had half the espresso shots he really needs for the day. No wonder he’s going grey at forty. Fucking nightmare. Stable employment is exactly the kind of chaos that’s bad for Newt—give him the kaiju any day, thanks.

“Dr. Geiszler?”

Newt pushes his sunglasses up, and scowls at whichever one of his employees has dared to interrupt his catnap. The fluorescent overheads are brutal on his poor eyes right now. The lab needs more natural lighting. Maybe if he complains, they’ll knock out some walls in put in a few more windows. “Did you find any Aspirin?” he says.

Wordlessly, Newt’s assistant passes him a bottle. Newt pops the cap off and takes at least four. The coffee he washes it down with is cold. “How are the last simulations coming along?” he says, flicking his sunglasses back down. He seems to have so many migraines these days. It’s the contact lenses, he thinks—making the switch over from frames so late in the game. Screwing with his perceptions. Newt went thirty years with frames, after all. “We only have two hours before—”

“We’re almost done,” his assistant cuts in. “We’re working as fast as we can, Dr. Geiszler.”

“But are we gonna make the deadline?” Newt says.

She fidgets, and moves her clipboard to her other arm. “Well—we’ve had some—issues.”

Newt stands up with a long sigh. Double overtime, probably. Sunday lost to this shit too. That new bottle of wine waiting for him on his kitchen counter bought for nothing. “Gotta do everything myself, huh? Unbelievable.”

He follows his assistant over to the main lab down the hall, where his team of j-techs are hurrying around. Hardly anyone in proper lab attire—no labcoats—someone in sweatpants—Newt wasn’t the only one who had his Saturday ruined, probably. No one else is going grey, though. “What’s this shit?” he says, stopping in his tracks with one foot through the doorway. The high-tech holo-smartboards have been pushed aside, and instead, someone’s wheeled in a huge…chalkboard.

“Technical issues,” his assistant says. “The other floors are having the same problem—something in the new interface update that downloaded last night, we think. They’re all out of commission. Technology is working on it, but for now, we had to pull that out of deep storage.”

Two of his scientists are scrawling across the board quickly—one with white chalk, the other with pink. They’re debating something in hushed tones. Newt hasn’t seen a chalkboard in years. It doesn’t fit with Shao Industry’s whole chic, sleek, futuristic aesthetic. So—bulky. And messy. “Of course it would happen today of all days,” Newt sighs. The sight of it makes him feel odd, and he can’t seem to drag himself any further into the lab and any closer towards it.

His assistant says something. Newt doesn’t hear—he’s listening, instead, to the squeaking of chalk across the blackboard. So noisy and obnoxious. It reminds him of years and years ago, of working in a grimy little basement, of…

“—look it over. Dr. Geiszler?”

“Hm?” Newt says. It was like a layer of fog had begun to lift from his thoughts, but the interruption sends it rolling right back in.

“I said we’re ready for you to look it over. Only if you want too, of course,” she adds, nervously.

“Uh-huh,” Newt says.

Newt’s never had anyone fear him before, not like his employees seem to fear him—he’s not sure he likes it. His scientists shut up the second he looms over (well—under, Newt’s never loomed over anyone in his life) their shoulders to inspect their work so far. The squeaking stops. One of them lowers their piece of chalk. “Wait,” Newt says, too-loudly, surprising them and himself. They both look at him with the same nervousness as his assistant, like he’s about to start shouting or something. “Keep doing that.”

“Keep…?”

“Writing,” Newt says. “On the chalkboard.”

The scientist frowns at him. “Um, okay,” she says. “What am I supposed to write?”

“Anything,” Newt says. “Seriously. Anything.”

She hesitates.

“Anything,” Newt repeats.

She picks up the white chalk, and writes out her name, then doodles a few random pictures—a DNA helix, a flower, a cat face, a star. Newt shuts his eyes, and breathes in deeply. That smell. He snags the forgotten piece of pink chalk from the ledge. “Can I have this?” he says. He doesn’t wait for them to respond—though they both nod yes frantically, and bewilderedly—before writing out his own name on the board. Dr. Geiszler. It looks wrong, so he writes Newt beneath it. He shuts his eyes, and writes Newt again. Why does he feel like he’s done this sort of thing before? This thing is ancient—before his time at Shao—he wouldn’t have used it before they carted off to the basement. Newt, Newt, Newt Was Here,he writes, Newt +, and then he stops.

He opens his eyes. “Who’s Hermann?” his assistant says.

Newt + Hermann. Newt didn’t realize he wrote it. “Someone I knew,” he says, faintly. “Years ago. He was my—” He swallows. He feels strange. “My colleague?”

Strange. Dizzy. The Aspirin isn’t working. Definitely the contact lenses. He could afford laser eye surgery now, if he wanted, maybe he should look into it. He grips the ledge of the chalkboard, swaying, and grits his teeth; his two scientists back away from him slowly, no doubt worried he’s about to hurl all over their shoes. He might, to be honest. Newt + Hermann. Hermann was his colleague. Hermann was his— “Are you feeling okay, Dr. Geiszler?” his assistant asks. “You look…”

“Tell Shao I’m taking the rest of the day off,” Newt says.

“What?”

“You guys got this shit handled without me,” Newt says. He pockets the chalk. “I’m not—I’m not feeling myself. I think I need to go home and lie down. Seriously, you’ve got it under control—all these numbers look, uh, good, I trust you. If you guys don’t get it finished you can just tell Shao it’s my fault, okay?”

She gapes at him. “Uh,” she says. “Okay?”

Newt doesn’t go home. He goes to the nearest shop he can find instead, and makes a beeline for the art supplies aisle. Only a few boxes of chalk in stock. Four multicolored, two all-white, one yellow. He drops them all into his basket but the yellow, which he rips opens and immediately smells. Newt + Hermann. Hermann always smelled like chalk dust—he always had a fine layer of it on his clothing, patches of it on his blazer, his sweatervest, even on his undershirt. Newt used to tease him for that. He closes his eyes, and breathes in again. Funny—all those baths, all those bottles of wine, and this stupid little box of chalk is what’s finally making him feel calm for once. Quieting down his brain. He didn’t realize how loud it’d gotten in there. When Hermann would kiss Newt, he would sometimes stain Newt’s clothing with chalk, too, and Newt would pretend to be annoyed, but he never really was.

Someone is speaking to him. An employee. They’re staring at him, a cautious distance away, and Newt’s not sure what they’re saying.

His vision’s gone blurry—he didn’t realize he’d started crying, either. He wipes his eyes on the cuff of his blazer and sniffles. “Sorry,” he says. The box of yellow chalk is wet. “Um. Do you have any more of these in the back?”

He takes the bus home for the first time in years, one hand stuffed in his little brown shopping bag the whole time, wrapped around a box of chalk. When he gets back to his apartment (his big, lonely, apartment), he pulls out the only food in his fridge—some leftovers from a Shao Industries event three nights ago—and settles down on his big, lonely couch. He can’t stop thinking about Hermann. Five or so years, maybe more, not thinking about Hermann, and now suddenly—it’s like the floodgates have opened. He thinks about Hermann’s haircut. (Bad.) He thinks about Hermann’s smile. (Silly, and sweet.) He thinks about Hermann’s dumb accent, and the clack of Hermann’s cane on the floor, and Hermann’s chalk squeaking over his chalkboard, and how it felt when Hermann would wrap him in his arms and kiss him and whisper things to him. Hermann’s sweaters always smelled like mothballs and stale cigarette smoke. Terrible combination.

Newt’s stomach growls. He’s finished the small bit of leftovers without realizing, and is apparently still hungry. He would kill for some sushi takeout right now. Or pizza, God. Yeah, it’d be screwing with his new diet and fitness plan—he casts a guilty glance over at his brand new exercise bike, which is gathering dust in the corner by his TV—but he’s tired of doing stupid kale and juice cleanses or whatever, just to please—well. He’s only human.

He is?

He walks up the stairs to his bathroom, and stares at himself in the mirror. Stupid vest. Stupid tie. Neat hair, clean-shaven cheeks, contact lenses. Newt’s only human. “I’m human,” he tells his reflection. Is he human? He felt human standing by that old chalkboard back in the lab, and holding that box of yellow chalk in the aisle of that little shop. He felt human when he was remembering things. Because of—Newt blinks at himself. Because of whom?

“Hermann,” he says, and smiles at the way the name makes him feel. He should text him, maybe.

-------------

“I must say,” Hermann says, “I was quite surprised when I received your dinner invitation. You’ve done a rather fine job of ignoring my calls as of late. I’d thought— Ah, thank you,” he adds, as Newt holds the door open for him. He steps into Newt’s apartment and cranes his neck around, squinting curiously, and then shoves a bottle of red wine at Newt’s chest. Hermann is much more personable than Newt remembers—what little Newt remembers—and he wonders if it’s age or something else. “I’ve been holding onto this one for a while. It’s the one you gave me as a part of a gift for my thirty-seventh birthday—you remember? Oh, but isn’t it so terrifically, er, modern in here.”

“Is it?” Newt says. He’s never given much thought to his apartment before, but he stares around at it now in mild interest. It is very chic, isn’t it? Monochrome. Impersonal. Not something Newt would’ve picked for himself. “Yeah, I had some interior decorators come in and do it for me.”

Hermann arches an eyebrow. “How…”

“Modern,” Newt offers. He puts the bottle of wine on his marble kitchen island. “Thanks for this, by the way, but I’ve actually been trying to cut back on the—” He bites back drinking. No need to alarm Hermann. “—Calories, so if it’s cool with you I’d rather not open it. I’m doing a, um, a new fitness program.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “I suppose that explains that, then, doesn’t it?” He points at the dusty exercise bike. Newt watches his gaze move from that, to the barren leather couch, to the short staircase which leads to Newt’s shut bedroom door. Newt can practically see the gears working in his head. “Will—ah, what was their name, that little flight of fancy of yours—a dalliance, one might say—will they be, ah, joining the two of us?” He looks at Newt out of the corner of his eye. “Alice, was it?”

“Who?” Newt says, blankly.

Hermann breaks out in a broad grin, which he quickly tries, very badly, to turn into a sympathetic frown. He pats Newt’s arm. “There’s the spirit, then, Newton! All in the past, I presume? Hardly any use in dwelling on a broken heart. Then again—it’s not as if you were together long enough to warrant those sorts of dramatics, were you?” he says, cheerily. “What I mean is—certainly it wasn’t as if you had any sort of deep or emotional connection with—?—oh, I’ve forgotten the name again.”

“Uh,” Newt says. He’s not really sure who Hermann’s talking about, but just based on that fact alone, he would assume Hermann is right. “I guess not?”

“Precisely as I expected,” Hermann says, with a satisfied nod. “Rotten grounds for a relati—for a fling. You deserve far better, Newton.” Hermann touches Newt’s arm again, and this time, he doesn’t move his hand. It makes Newt’s skin prickle pleasantly. “You look well these days, though I admit it’s a bit of a shock to see you without your glasses,” Hermann continues, flicking his eyes up and down Newt twice. He lingers on Newt’s left hand, over the bare spot where—until this morning, when he suddenly realized how stupid it looked and yanked it off—he was wearing that Elvis ring. “Ending things must be treating you kindly. I don’t suppose I could dash to your loo?”

“Loo?” Newt says. “Oh, right. Yeah, it’s that door there, right off the living room.” He drops down onto the leather couch. “Knock yourself out. I’ll be right here.”

Hermann disappears into Newt’s bathroom, and comes back out three minutes later with combed hair, a straightened collar, and the vague smell of cologne. He’s tucking a small bottle into his top pocket. “I found a box of hair dye in your medicine cabinet,” he declares, smugly. “I knew there was no bloody way that was natural. Though I’m not surprised it fooled Alice.” He rests his cane against the glass coffee table and sits down next to Newt. Right next to Newt. The whole sofa to pick from, and he’d rather their thighs touch. Newt doesn’t mind—actually, the contact is strangely grounding, like Hermann’s hand on his arm had been earlier. He’s here, in his living room, with Hermann, his friend Hermann, his colleague Hermann, his—well, question mark—Hermann.

“Hermann, can I ask you something?” he says. “Something important?”

“By all means,” Hermann says, leaning in and fluttering his eyelashes. Even over the cologne, Newt can still make out that mothball-chalk-smoke smell.

“Do you take your coffee with sugar?” he says.

Hermann laughs. “Do I—what?”

Newt repeats the question. The smile slips off Hermann’s face, and he draws away, furrowing his eyebrows. “Well,” he says, “yes, usually, only I’m not sure what—”

“Sugar, and some milk,” Newt says. “It was the same with your tea. And you had a mug that you would use—you wouldn’t use any other. It was blue, and it said—” He exhales through his nose. “It said TU Berlin. That’s where you got your PhD.”

After Newt sent Hermann a text about dinner last night, he sat down with a pen and pad of paper and made a list of everything he could remember about Hermann. He started with what Hermann looks like, and who Hermann is, and then moved into the harder stuff like what Hermann likes and the sort of things Hermann used to do. He stayed up all night doing it, until his hand cramped and his head hurt even more than it had that morning, and then recited it over and over to himself in a whisper as he fell asleep. Hermann has brown eyes. Hermann likes blackberry jam on his toast. Hermann wears little glasses on a chain. Hermann uses a cane with a tiny little nick in the brass of the handle. The list is in his pocket now; it makes Newt feel calm, and even calmer when he reaches into his pocket and touches it. He exhales again, hard, and then inhales. “We were together,” he says. “When we closed the Breach, you told me you loved me.”

“I did,” Hermann says, quietly.

“I said it back,” Newt says.

Hermann nods.

Slowly, Newt reaches out and puts his hand over Hermann’s. Hermann makes a strange noise in the back of his throat—like a sigh, or maybe a groan. His pulse twitches erratically under Newt’s fingertips. “I bought chalk,” Newt says.

“You—” Hermann echoes, his voice choked. “You bought chalk?”

“It reminded me of you,” Newt says.

He’s not surprised when Hermann kisses him, but he is surprised at his knee-jerk reaction: to pull away, or push Hermann away, and to order him to get out of his apartment. He’s surprised, because those aren’t his thoughts. He doesn’t want Hermann to leave—he wants Hermann to stay longer, and kiss him more, and help him remember more. “Oh, Newton,” Hermann says. “Newton, Newton—” He moves his mouth to Newt’s neck, kissing, breathing, and whispering his name, and Newt shuts his eyes and forces himself to remember his list.

“Tell me things about you,” Newt begs. “I want to remember you.”

Hermann’s laughter, hesitant and confused, comes out in a puff of hot air against his skin. “Remember me?” he says. “I’m not sure— Are we not a bit—?”

“Hermann,” Newt says.

He grips the back of Hermann’s sweater, digging his nails in Hermann’s skin through the layers of fabric. Hermann must hear the urgency in his voice, because he shakes his head with another laugh, kisses Newt’s jaw, and says, “Well, alright. What am I even meant to tell you?”

“Your favorite color,” Newt says. Hermann kisses his chin. “Your favorite song. No, wait—” He nudges Hermann away from him, just enough so that Hermann can see him smile. “Tell me what you like about me.”

“Feeling rather egotistical tonight, aren’t we?” Hermann teases. He reaches out and brushes his fingers through the side of Newt’s hair. One of the spots Newt dyed—it was too grey. He catches Hermann’s hand by the wrist and pulls it away gently, but only to press himself up against Hermann’s chest instead. He can feel Hermann’s heartbeat. “I like—hm,” Hermann says. “I like your stubbornness. I like your passion. I like…”

His voice vibrates in his throat—Newt can feel that, too. He listens.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #if Alice was a real person her picture would be on Hermann's dartboard #it probably is anyway #Anonymous

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maudsleyhealth · 3 years

Text

You Shouldn't Ignore These 11 Eating Disorder Symptoms

What is the definition of an eating disorder?

Eating disorders are more widespread than many people realize. Lady Gaga, Zayn Malik, and Demi Lovato are just a handful of famous people who have struggled with eating disorders.

Recognize the signs and symptoms

Some eating disorder symptoms are obvious: significant weight loss, unwillingness to eat, and long lengths of time spent in the restroom after meals. Anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder, on the other hand, manifest themselves in subtler ways.

How do you know if a family member or acquaintance is in danger? Because persons with eating disorders show a wide range of symptoms, there is no guaranteed way of knowing. (Not to mention personal characteristics: Eating disorders, which were historically virtually exclusively connected with adolescent girls, are now seen in younger children and adults as well.)

These easy-to-overlook symptoms, on the other hand, may help you detect an eating disorder or a disorder in the making, earlier.

Body image issues

According to Cynthia Bulik, PhD, an eating disorders specialist at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, negative or obsessive thoughts about body size, a critical element in all eating disorders, can emerge very early in the disease.

Negative self-talk ("I'm so fat," "I have no self-control") and misinterpreting other people's comments are both warning signals of poor body image. "Comments like 'My, you've filled out well' can be misinterpreted as 'You look big," according to Bulik.

She goes on to say that young girls' body insecurities might emerge or worsen when they compare themselves to idealized figures like Disney princesses and supermodels.

Excessive exercise

Excessive exercise behaviors, often known as "exercise anorexia," can accompany disordered eating and appear to be on the rise, according to Bulik. It can be difficult to define "excessive" exercise, especially when dealing with athletes or highly active young individuals. (Female athletes had a greater rate of eating disorders than non-athletes, 14 percent against 3 percent, according to a 2013 study of high school students.)

Here are a couple of red flags: Does the individual become anxious if they miss a day of exercise? Is he or she a gym rat who works out even when wounded or sick? "These are really excellent indicators," Bulik argues, "that things have gone too far."

Fear of eating in front of others

Feeling uncomfortable or self-conscious about eating in public might be linked to body image concerns; for example, a person may believe that others are observing and judging them.

However, it could simply indicate that eating has become stressful in general. "For someone with an eating disorder, eating can be extremely anxiety-provoking," explains Bulik. "Doing it in public only adds to the magnitude of the task."

Although not wanting to eat in front of other people is a defining feature of anorexia, it can also be a symptom of other eating disorders. "Even persons with binge eating disorder would eat very little amounts in public and binge when they are alone," adds Bulik.

Fine Body Hair

People who have been starving their bodies for a long time acquire soft, downy body hair that resembles a thin film of fur on their arms and other regions of the body. Lanugo is a physical adaptation to the dangerously low weight and loss of body fat that some persons with anorexia experience.

According to Bulik, author of The Woman in the Mirror: How to Stop Confusing What You Look Like with Who You Are, "it is a symptom of malnutrition and [an] attempt by the body to keep itself warm."

Preparing extravagant meals for other people

Even though persons with anorexia may avoid food themselves, they are often eager to watch others eat, and will go to great lengths to arrange sumptuous dinners for friends and family. This may be a type of vicarious enjoyment, or eating "through" others.

The renowned Minnesota Starving Experiment, which took place in the mid-1940s, revealed similar results. Semi-starved volunteers who lost more than 25% of their body weight became fascinated with food and eating. Several of the males became cookbook and recipe collectors, a habit that has also been observed in anorexics.

Dry Skin

Dehydrated skin that is dry and blotchy can indicate chronic anorexia or bulimia. "Regular purging and laxative use might dehydrate you severely," Bulik warns. In persons with eating disorders, dry skin isn't the lone sign of dehydration.

Dry lips, sunken cheeks, and eyes, as well as severe electrolyte imbalances, are all possible side effects. The formation of calluses on the knuckles is another skin modification that is a telltale indicator of bulimia.

These lesions are known as Russell's signs (after the psychiatrist who first reported them), and they are created by continuously rubbing the back of the hand against the teeth while vomiting.

Feeling cold

Feeling chilly is more commonly related to anorexia than bulimia or binge eating disorder, as it is a sign of malnutrition and low body fat. People with eating disorders are more likely to complain about being cold or to wear sweaters and other heavy garments even in warm weather.

Body fat conserves energy and protects the body from the elements. People with too little body fat may struggle to maintain their body temperature, and in some situations, hypothermia may result.

Cheeks Swollen

According to Bulik, swelling along the jawline is most commonly related to bulimia, although it can also occur with any eating disorder that involves purging. (Some anorexics purge to maintain their weight.) People with bulimia, unlike those with anorexia, are frequently of normal or even above-average weight.)

The enlarged salivary glands cause puffy cheeks (parotid glands). According to Bulik, edema can occur at any stage of the sickness and is dependent on the person and how often they purge.

Getting fixated on'safe' food

The hallmark of the condition known as orthorexia is a fixation with foods thought to be "safe" or "healthy." According to Bulik, orthorexia can occasionally be a stepping stone to full-blown anorexia nervosa, even though it is not an official diagnosis.

Although those with orthorexia focus on food quality while those with anorexia focus on quantity, the two illnesses can sometimes overlap. Anorexics, for example, have an extremely restricted diet and prefer to consume the same items over and over again. "Cutting out things they used to like, or even entire food groups, is one of the early indicators of people developing an eating disorder," Bulik adds.

Rituals in eating

Eating disorders can cause compulsive behaviors similar to those seen in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Food can be sliced into tiny bits or arranged in certain patterns as part of these so-called rituals.

They're most commonly connected with anorexia (which frequently coexists with OCD), but they can also be an early indication of binge eating disorder. According to Bulik, rituals are "both a tactic not to eat and an element of the obsessionality connected with anorexia nervosa." "When eating disorders first emerge, people often try to make it appear as though they are eating by chopping things up and rearranging food on the plate to hide how little they are eating."

Unusual food combinations

Binge eaters are noted for combining unusual ingredients in recipes like mashed potatoes and Oreo cookies, or potato chips with lemon, pork rinds, Italian dressing, and salt. People who make their own food concoctions are more likely to binge than people who simply overeat, according to a recent study.

However, this conduct frequently occurs in private and provides yet another source of shame for the individual with the illness. According to the study's authors, guilt and disgust might intensify the illness.

Maudsley Health Eating Disorder Service

At Maudsley Health, what services do they provide?

Maudsley Health an Eating Disorder Treatment Clinic in Abu Dhabi believes in providing gold-standard, evidence-based care, and all of the therapies they provide follow the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) 2017 recommendations.

Dr. Victoria Mountford, our Joint Head of Eating Disorder Service, has spent the last 20 years specializing in eating disorder research and treatment in the UK and has been involved in the development of both CBT-ED and MANTRA (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – Eating Disorder) (Maudsley Anorexia Nervosa Treatment for Adults). Our experts will discuss with you which treatment will best fit your needs during your assessment.

Family-Based Interventions for Young People with Anorexia Nervosa

They work with the young person and their family to help overcome anorexia utilizing family therapy combined with expert eating disorder knowledge, based on the Maudsley Model Family Therapy – Anorexia Nervosa (FT-AN) created at the Maudsley Hospital in London. They look at how the sickness has affected family life as well as behavioral changes.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy – Eating Disorder (CBT-ED)

CBT-ED can be used to treat any form of eating issue. It entails creating a tailored therapy plan that tackles any harmful thinking patterns, emotions, or behaviors that have emerged. It can also help with issues including low self-esteem, perfectionism, and having a negative body image. CBT can also be used to treat ARFID in children, adolescents, and adults.

Maudsley Anorexia Nervosa Treatment for Adults (MANTRA)

MANTRA is a modularized treatment for anorexia with a workbook to go along with it. It focuses on anorexia and explores sustaining elements such as emotional and relational challenges, problematic thinking habits, and parts of identity.

What can I do if someone in my family has an eating disorder?

We understand how scary and difficult it can be to have a son, daughter, partner, or another family member with an eating disorder. You may be concerned about what to say or do at home as a result of your eating issue.

Parents are sometimes concerned that they will be blamed. Families, we believe, do not create eating disorders, but they are critical to rehabilitation. We like to include family members or carers in the therapy process whenever possible (working with you and your loved one to decide how best to do this).

What can I do as a teacher or school counselor?

Because eating disorders usually begin in adolescence, teachers and school counselors may be in a good position to identify and raise concerns. Eating disorders can make it difficult for a youngster to focus and study, as well as participate fully in school or university life.

They may isolate themselves and avoid mealtimes. People do not recover from eating disorders on their own, according to research, and the sooner they seek help, the sooner they can begin to recover.

Where can I learn more?

Maudsley Health will be delighted to discuss the next steps with you. Please call (+971) 2610 7777 to schedule an appointment to discuss your options.

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