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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 3 years

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What if you’re hanging out with Bakugou and like, he starts talking about something he’s super passionate about/proud of, or your with the squad doing stupid shit loudly, or just some exciting thing with Katsuki. Just seeing the giddiness he has about something, and feeling the adrenaline, smiling a wide grin and laughing aloud “God, I fucking love you”. Can be establish relationship or a confession, I just liked the idea :)

plEASE THIS IS NOW MY LIFE BLOOD THANK YOU SM FOR THIS

here’s a quick lil pre-relationship blurb, hope u enjoy <3333

-/-

You’re sitting in common room, assignments spread out on coffee table as you sat on the floor. Bakugou was sitting behind you on the couch, legs pulled up and crossed beneath him. He’d finished all of his work hours ago- of course- and currently seemed to be doing nothing but hanging around and clasping his hands together and... focusing really hard?

“What, uh, whatcha doin’ there, blasty?” You ask tenatively, hand still wrapped around your pencil. “What’s going on with your hands, huh?”

“Don’t call me that, idiot.”

You roll your eyes. Even through the fond tone of his voice, Katsuki still chose to call you names anyway.

“I’m just tryin’ something.” He finally says, once again pressing his hands together. “Go back to your fuckin’ work or something. Stop prying and leave me alone.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

You turn back to your work, scribbling down a few more answers. He never really leaves your peripheral vision though- you couldn’t help but focus on him. Katsuki was just being so weird, sitting there in utter silence other than a few grunts of effort and the sound of his hands smacking together. You were content at first, to just sit and watch, mildly surprised but otherwise just intrigued by his unusual behavior.

Until you hear a tiny, smothered, explosion.

“What did I tell you about exploding the common room, Bakugou?” You sigh, dropping your pencil and turning to face him. “The school’s not gonna pay for it again.”

He’s silent again, not even registering your words as he concentrates.

“Are you even listening to me? The damage was so bad last time! They’re not gonna help y-“

Boom.

A massive, room-silencing boom that almost splits your eardrums. It’s like the sound of a plastic bag popping, amplified by a 1000 decibels, his cupped hands forming a funnel of pure sound, and your ears are aching, screaming, bleeding and you jump nearly ten feet in the air, settling back on the ground heart racing and breath stuck in your throat- and is he laughing? Katsuki is laughing. He’s laughing and laughing and shaking his hands out and rocking in place as he smiles.

You knew you liked him before- had for a long while. When he was around your heart fluttered wildly and you couldn’t stop smiling- nearly always choking down laughter as he threatened others. He was loud, and brash, and angry, but you liked him anyway. Those were things you knew, things you could predict, but this was something else entirely. Something you didn’t know, couldn’t know, and had never been allowed the priviledge to see before.

He’s laughing and when you look at him he seems dazed- smiling stupidly, grin stretched up to crinkle crow’s feet around happy eyes. Eye’s that are suddenly alive, like you’ve never seen them before- they’re striking, burning embers of unadulterated life and searing red, red, wildfire.

It’s hits you then. Almost knocks the wind right out of you the same way the blast did.

Bakugou is beautiful.

He is so, so, beautiful in ways that you never understood, couldn’t have ever hoped too before now. He is laughing and smiling so fully, glee and wonder stretched across a face that usually held nothing but frown lines- in that moment it almost hurts to look at him. The Bakugou before you is so childlike, and pure, and secure in his joy that it makes your chest tighten. You can hardly catch the breath needed to form your words.

“Wow- that’s-“

“Fuckin’ loud! I know, right? Listen, listen,” He shouts, cupping his hands once more. There’s a quick flash of light, before he smothers his hands together, and then another loud boom that shakes your bones in your skin. “Did ya fuckin’ hear that? Hah?”

“Yes, I did.” You laugh. “Couldn’t a missed if if I tried.”

“I been practicin’,” He starts, words fast and overwhelmingly proud as he nearly screams. “Been tryin’ to make the just the sound, so I can scare those fuckin’ idiots!”

“Who?”

“Shitty hair and Dunce face! Who the fuck else?” He laughs again, pointing a red palm towards you. “See this shit? Took all the force. Knew I could fuckin’ do it!”

You were stunned. Bakugou- he..... was entertained by the sound alone? He was so very thrilled all because of a loud noise?

Suddenly, he looks much younger to you in that moment- like all his teenage insecurity and wild expectations for himself have just melted away. There’s no anger, no anxiety, no front- just Bakugou.

“God, and it fuckin’ worked on you too!” He shouted. “Shoulda seen your stupid fuckin’ face- looked like you had a goddamn heart attack!”

“I did! Bakugou, you fucker! I did have a heart attack, thank you!” You huffed, but you weren’t really angry. Didn’t really think you ever could be when he smiled at you like that. “Why wouldn’t you warn me?”

“Didn’t know it’d actually happen.” He shrugs. “Thought of it this morning and just fuckin’ got it now.”

“Oh my god- is that why you rushed to get your work done?” You laughed incredulously. “So you could play explosions all afternoon?”

“It’s not-I’m not fuckin playing explosions, shitty woman!” He barks. “It’s a new trick! And a fuckin’ cool one at that so you better give it the goddamn respect it deserves! You got that?”

“Yeah, got it.” You stood, shoving at his shoulder. “But don’t fucking do it again! My ears are bleeding.”

He just smirks something small and contained as he holds eye contact. His hands begin to come together and your stomach drops,

“Bakugou, no! Don’t-“

Boom.

When the ringing clears from your ears, all you can hear is his laughter again. The way it fills the room and warms your heart, and makes him so very beautiful that it’s hard for you to breathe. His smile and his crinkled eyes are all you can see, all you think. This moment- this Bakugou, feels like it might be just for you to keep.

He looks up at you, eyes a perfect mirror of unguarded flames and blistering firestorm.

I love him. You realize. I love him.

#bnha bakugou #bakugou x y/n #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #mha fic #bakugou scenarios #bakugou drabble #bakugou imagine

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rottenprincessshura100 · 4 years

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Chapter 117 recap.

Okay, this was a heart-breaker. This recap will be brief.

Just some quick points to mention

Yuri finally realizes that Satan’s love is more of an obsession. He’s addicted to her, but Yuri tells him that he isn’t feeling real love. Well...I disagree, for Satan, its totally love, just horrible, controlling and unhealthy.

Yuri is so done with it. Satan wants to be human to be with Yuri and thinks possessing Shiro will make that happen. Of course, Shiro continues to mock Satan. He starts to heal and is able to yeet Satan from his body.

Satan doesn’t take the news well. We find out that Satan is trying to be human for Yuri. Which I thought was a pretty odd thing to admit.

Shiro thinks he’s super tough and has healed himself but it has probably more to do with the sudden appearance Shemihaza. She saves him by proximity, but just as she saves Shiro, she seems to gift Yuri with death.

Shemihaza wants to destroy the children and Yuri in order to stop Satan from returning to Assiah. Shiro jumps in and saves her and they escape. Meanwhile, poor Rin is angry and traumatized. Most likely super angry at Shemihaza. How will this affect his future relationship with Shiemi? He certainly looks deeply and emotionally damaged here. Mephisto urges him to see the end, possibly so he can see how Shiro changes.

Yuri and Shiro run away. Yuri seems fine at first but, because of whatever Shemihaza did to her, she goes downhill fast. She names the twins. Shiro starts to talk about their future. She states that someday Shiro will be their real father which is another odd thing to say don’t you think? Like Shiro will be their adoptive father and father figure....but...

You get the idea that Yuri knows she’s going to die. It’s like she’s known all along, she isn’t imagining her life with Shiro and the kids. She’s giving him tips to be a good father. Have a birthday party for them, cut them up watermelon in the summertime. It’s freaking sad.

She then talks to the babies telling them to be good to each other, but it’s almost like she knows teenage Rin is there. We see Rin’s boots in the scene as he listens intently to his mom’s message.

Yuri then passes away (I hate this part, why does a woman always have to die to advance the narrative of a male character? Boo Kato!!) Anyway, Shiro finally feels. Like the Grinch, his cold heart grows 1000 times and he’s overcome with grief. He kisses her...i thought is this going to be a Reylo ending? Alas...it is the end.

And Shiro finally realized that it is all his fault. Because it is, Shiro you chump!

All he had to do was tell Yuri that he loved her...and she’d still be alive!

Well...no...not really. Satan would have still killed them. Shiro only temporarily exorcised Satan. Satan would try again, and he does when Rin’s powers awaken.

but yeah...Shiro feeling really responsible.

In the end, Shiro gives up on life. He waits for Yeti to kill him...(talk about the worst moment for a Yeti to arrive!!) (Mephisto probably sent it..he’s in the woods poking it with a stick. “Go Yeti..that’s it...be a good yeti...”)

But Shiro is not going to get off that easy. There’s a tamer on the scene wearing an invisibility cloak. He can pretty easily handle that Yeti.

#blue exorcist #chapter 117 #i'm super sad #yuri egin #rin okumura #shiro fujimoto #shemihaza #mephisto pheles

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romancingromanoff · 5 years

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I See The Stars (Carol Danvers x femme reader)

Fluffytown trip for when the reader feels insecure about dating Carol when they’re just a normal human.

Congratulations, on behalf of the Admissions Committe we would like to offer you a place-

“YES!” you try to muffle your scream but let yourself at least fist punch the air before standing up to look over your cubicle walls and make sure nobody heard you. Looking at the clock it read 4:37, so you only had a little over twenty minutes before you could get off work and celebrate. And you knew that the first person you were going to tell was your girlfriend.

You half skip-jogged your way out from the elevator and pushed your way past the crowds of New York commuters flooding into the streets at five. Rushing down the subway steps you almost dropped your card you were just shaking with so much excitement and energy. The ride uptown had no unexpected stops or breakdowns, thank God, and you soon made it to your stop at the Wakandan Consulate. Coming up from the ground, a gasp from a nearby crowd caught your attention and you looked up to see what they were watching with a fat grin on your face. Even after six months of dating, you still got butterflies in your stomach watching your girlfriend fly around like a real life fireball. You watched her land on the roof of the consulate where some other people were waiting for her before quickly trying to cross the street to run up there and greet her yourself.

“I like the feel of it,” Carol remarked lifting up her arms and admiring how lightweight yet sturdy the new vibranium made suit she was wearing held up.

“I am glad that you do,” T’Challa smiled obviously pleased with how impressed she was. “We can also customize the colors of course. My sister, Shuri, has already come up with a few different template ideas.”

“Great, I’d love to take a look at them,” she nodded when the sight of a familiar looking little person running towards her caught her eye. “Hey baby!” she exclaimed as you ran into her arms and she lifted you up and spun you around.

You have her a quick peck on the lips before she set you down. “I got in!” you squealed and she immediately spun you around some more making you laugh. “Oof, watch the dress though,” you didn’t want the neckline slipping down anymore than it already was. At least, just not in public.”

“Sorry, but I knew you would! They’d be stupid not to take you!”

“Well, having a girlfriend that’s actually seen a black hole helps out a lot too.” You were an aspiring astro-physicist and now a soon-to-be PhD student at MIT as of thirty minutes ago. Your work primarily centered around black hole research which is why you first bombarded Carol with a load of questions that first day Tony had introduced you two. You were usually super nervous around cute girls but the nerd in you just took over and began rambling once you found out who she was. Eventually, Carol actually got so aggravated by your nonstop talking that she had to shush your lips with her finger and said, “Can you just be quiet for a second so I can get your name and ask you out on a date?” You has been utterly mortified, shocked, and flattered at the same time.

“Can we go grab some milkshakes to celebrate?”

There was a small retro diner that you’d been wanting to go try with your girlfriend. It had everything from the jukebox to the workers in paper hats to the neon lights, and, most importantly it was said to make the biggest milkshakes ever.

“I’m so sorry babe,” Carol frowns sadly. “There’s an emergency on a dwarf planet a couple of light years away from here that I need to go take care of. I won’t be back till the day after tomorrow at the earliest.”

“Oh,” you were trying so hard to hide the disappointment in your voice. “I totally understand, go save the universe sweetie.”

“Cool. I’ll let you know if I spot any black holes along the way,” she offers and you just smile as best as you can. “Oh, and can you help pick out my new suit design for me? You’re the only one I trust, babe.”

And just like that, her entire body glowed gold and she shot up through the sky and beyond the planet’s atmosphere faster than the speed of light. As you continued to watch her till she was nothing but the size of a pushpin, your phone in your pocket vibrated and you pulled it out. Your phone case was one of those clear ones you had just picked up off of a street vendor in China town for about 3 bucks but it never failed to make you smile because behind it with some dried up flower petals from cherry blossom season was your favorite polaroid picture of you and your girlfriend. Looking at it you longed for those days when Carol didn’t have to keep checking the clock or her messages to check for some galaxy wide emergency.

Your best friend had texted you asking about your admissions decision. But aside from the one message, the rest of your evening was pretty uneventful which left you and your thoughts all alone for some serious over-thinking time. You decided to walk back home most of the way since you had nothing better to do and when you got to your apartment you mechanically heated up some leftovers, sat on your couch and browsed through shows on Netflix before finally settling on the one you just rewatch over and over, then eventually passed out some time in the early morning. So when you woke up the next day, not only were your eyes extremely groggy but you also smacked your tongue at that familiar taste of overnight breath. In the bathroom you accidentally dropped your toothbrush so you ran out to a drugstore on your block to buy a new one. You really only needed one, but if you bought four in a pack then it would save you money in the long-term and you just couldn’t decide between those two options.

“Hey! I don’t got all day, lady!” a grouchy old man barked at you to make a decision and stop blocking the aisle.

“Sorry,” you mumbled still half-awake just grabbing for the one toothbrush. As you paid for it and began to walk back to your apartment a really terrible thought dawned upon you. Was this your actual life? How was it that your girlfriend was out single-handedly saving different planets while the most impactful thing you had done today was piss off a cranky old dude? You just felt so useless compared to Carol; the idea of being so painfully normal made you question why she had even been interested in you in the first place.

“Shit,” you said opening your bag and realizing that you’d actually grabbed a children’s toothbrush. It was purple and had Skye on it from Paw Patrol but at this point you couldn’t care less. The stupid toothbrush had just helped you get through the greatest obstacle you’d had in the past two weeks. It was absolutely humiliating imagining how stupid and insignificant your problems were compared to your girlfriend’s. You just couldn’t see how she took you seriously with your lowly, mundane problems.

“Babe, you would not believe the size of the army I just fought. One blast and I vaporized an entire ship!” Carol said entering your shared apartment to find you with your arms crossed on the kitchen table. In front of you was a bunch of scrapbooks you had been staring at all night. But what she noticed was weird was that while you were looking at all of the cut out newspaper headlines and epic shots of her that had made the news there was only one picture of yourself up there. It was a polaroid that had been taken of you when you won $1000 from a scratch ticket. In the picture you were holding it up all excited and Carol personally loved how cute you looked in it.

“What’s wrong, babe?” she could tell something was up. Her girlfriend was just not in her usual chipper mood and she seemed awfully down wearing her grey sweatpants that matched the dark circles under her eyes.

Carol rests her hand on your shoulder but turn and walk away not brave enough to face her. “You do all of this amazing stuff everyday like it’s no big deal. You have powers and have been to places that I probably can’t even dream about they’re so complicated. I just don’t understand why you’d be interested in me - just a normal human. I mean, it’s not even like I have special powers like your other friends and could ever keep up with you.”

“Y/N, that’s not important to me.”

“No, Carol, you don’t understand. I can’t even let you pick me up and fly me around with you because I have freaking asthma. I just feel like you’re always grounded because of me and I just hold you down when you could be doing so much more with anyone else.”

“Listen to me,” the blonde kneeled down next to your seat and took your hands into hers with a fierceness and look of determination in her eyes. She wanted you to take her words very seriously. “I love you for you. There’s nothing that you have to prove to me because I already fell in love with the girl who’s extremely smart when, frankly, I rush into bad decisions; the girl who’s patient with me when I’m quick-tempered; the girl who’s selfless when I’m arrogant; and the girl who also loves me for more than just being able to shoot fire out of my fists. You hate thinking that you keep me grounded? Y/N, you’re the only one that keeps me sane most of the time! Before I met you I was so lost and had no idea where my place was in the universe, but you brought me back down to Earth and reminded of where I belong and who I am. Nobody else can do that.”

You sniffle because even though you’ve been telling yourself for the past few days that you’re not special at all, only Carol can make you feel this way. Only she can make you feel like you’re the only person in the universe that matters.

“I need you, you dork,” she snorts playfully pulling on your hands. “Without you I’m just Captain Marvel to everyone else and to myself. You helped bring back the girl that I’ve always been: Carol. She wouldn’t be here without you. I wouldn’t be here without you,” she gently cups your cheek in her hand and you notice its still a bit warm and cooling down, but that just shows you how intensely she’s feeling these feelings for you.

She moves her lips up to plant a small kiss on your forehead (which have always been a favorite of yours and hers) before moving down to take your lips into her own with a gentleness she rarely shows to other people. This softer side of her is just reserved for you; only you can tame her when her flame gets to be too wild and you cry into the kiss just thinking about what she’s trying to show you with her light, considerate touches. But she’s also more than welcome to deepen it when you start letting your own feelings of passion take over and you speed up the pace. There really is a beautiful balance between the two of you that you don’t plan on messing up ever.

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sirjustice216-blog · 4 years

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People should be buried that way not the closing on top as slab as seen in Africa, encouraging exhumation as the mansions knows how to make it that u can lift it with hand operated mini-folk lift esp when wanting to eat that corpse or when the casket of high price to resell. The above ought to be done then concrete added onto to seal it even more tight only leaving like 30 cm to the ground 4 placing soil 4 leveling that when people exhumes can be seen as opposed to the African way which if u raise such, the grown ups don't listen to ya and sees ya as rude. In fact when people has known that the dead can walk after receiving formalin injection it can eradicate caskets, just normal walking to the grave as in the burial just seat with u, then the above picture his casket down maybe placed soft pillows to make funeral and burials much cheaper than the usually expected. the grave can be up to between 15-20 ft to facilitate the security feature as above.

Dont touche people with the gadgets u make, making many to join crime to afford such, rather hide it from people, as open ya store where u invite those with money to buy the same products where people are discouraged to get to peoples houses to see the same to give them the same instincts above which are disturbing in nature like with the New Japanese, Chinese Stereos in the link below as in the movie below as well

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/WLS-PROFESSIONAL-PORTABLE-PA-2-1CH_60399699356.html?spm=a2700.details.deiletai6.12.3d4a28d7HKgsyQ

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/New-private-Portable-8-Inch-Multifunction_62336695683.html?spm=a2700.details.deiletai6.1.3d4a28d7HKgsyQ

https://www.google.com/search?q=cradle+to+grave+movie+dmx&client=firefox-b-d&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=uR_rZm_dUcVtYM%253A%252CSdymAcoZU0B3hM%252C%252Fm%252F03q4qb&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kSTumREWEvRsbYwW6BpfW4TCnRFjQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjs6I-G99_pAhWIzYUKHZBGB-wQ_B0wGXoECBEQAw#imgrc=uR_rZm_dUcVtYM:

Islam use the same above to guard their graves without coffins dude

Signs of defeat yet instead of arresting impersonating Dignitaries they r playing dice, promoting rudeness in society as their land spacious so many African tribes try to portray the character of rudeness and theft as Russians do in movies and when solving conflict with other nations. Many like Kamba blooded who love good things and even masai wanna be there or go there, so think if they do the same above can be tolerated or their kids in times futurity. Such ways they use to fish in E-african lake as described below and on the other hand want to discourage people that using drone mounted with alternator generator though cheap same can be done to ya rather use jets which are expensive to create that fear as buying much jets rather adds much chank of cash to their economy more than the cheap sold drones. Shivering dude, so got to be prudent and decisive in ya ways

https://ednews.net/en/news/world/430535-russian-fighter-jet-shot-down-two-additional-us-drones-near-khmeimim-air-base-in-syria?fbclid=IwAR0EoETEYC0PSyo0r73STHXk-PYK2TxNzhkLLXBnIOyWRX3JJQoyxfahLoU#.XtIDJS_4s5o.facebook

The above drones described even ferry food stuffs between nations and even cash crops like coffee, cocoa and tea, so if ya agenda was to get to those nations and do the same think twice, u r hampered and advised early to desist lest u r marooned or blocked.

Machine parts and material goods got spirit in them, like if u see a shoe or a machine, then u see that some1 who gave that some1 making the same the idea maybe gotten from the cyber or hacked in books or the original owner gave it to him, or the shoes or machine was made by the owner and that’s how stolen warranties or patents are known and can get u to hell and in-case of disputes to as 1 has taken ya idea, for lie or truth, people are send to view the products and tell the above b4 u r compensated or arrested as a thief. Stop dude taking other innovations as lands ya to hell fire and even if u kill 1 out of such, the gadget, kinda, got not wanting to see it twice spirit dude. We can such people who investigates detectives bro!!!!

If u wanna go to the USA, get there bro, don't force me with what u like or thinking it must be that way, with me i have taken a twist to get to other nations which aint that rich like balkanized nations, what matters is that u r living not must be in expensive luxuries.

Chinese and many African or Asia nations thought 4 u take make original machines parts like of USA u got to live in that nation, so they wanted to drive Negros out of it, so they block the above with them and them proceed to live their hoping to come with the same which aint the case as now seen in tumblr sirjustice202 a/c, how many nations have come up with gadgets like phones, Tv, internet, pay Tv and airplanes without living in the USA. So they USA thing is erased out of mind, so stay where u r dude and the corpse eating thing believed to aid in making the same above as well eliminated as the above named nations who have made gadgets have made much more durable machine parts yet they don't partake such corpse, so its a big lie and a hoax to be left all alone. Even in the bush like u can pray gadgets are made dude.

Minaj 2 years down the line we are still 2gether or moving on, Kebi was heard in MN state telling Minaj as retiring to bed time. “Which defecating container did u use, the red or blue 1, i used the blue 1, is it half full, minaj responding nah, what about the other 1, same as Minaj says, kebi in 2 weeks time will discard the same to the open sewer. Did u wipe ya ass good, minaj, yes, in-fact i took the like many face towel u hang on the wall, immersed in hot water squeezed to wipe it more clean. Good Girl and that's why i like ya.Girl don't look 4 good life as u witness, life still moves on dude, lets sleep girl awaiting 4 our tomorrow“

Now the above made in Kenya vending machines can eliminate the every hour monitored u shopping in supermarkets, shops and even pubs b4 being followed placing ya life in danger.

https://www.facebook.com/Vending-Machines-Kenya-192530854829719/

These stereos got spirit as many want not many to buy until some people loose hope and other stop to hustle together as thats what can make them happy in life, Lord place me in furnace then, cause me am not ready to be another Moses, appear and talk to ya people, spare me that or destroy me completely never to seen again, i dont want longevity,life bores me quick what about longevity as in the link below,untill people want them not, things people ought to buy, u friend of white people to create jealousy as u wanna show them u r ready to protect their gadgets but now every nation makes the same, so u r from every tribe

https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/DVD-player-Micro-mini-hifi-component_62321654611.html?spm=a2700.details.deiletai6.3.ef845599uVdAQz%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20%20https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/NEW-ARRIVAL-PROFESSIONAL-PA-2-0CH_60400837366.html?spm=a2700.details.deiletai6.12.74056068le17fR

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=3023899924392685&set=pcb.3216383081920688

Self Running Alternator Generator in the below link dude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_d320uOmlMs

Kebi Investigating people who came to ya to eat like they eat, like not much food not knowing u did not take super or breakfast as they did and not to mention, its organized, in that even fresh food parts placed in garbage and as they collect in the morning give to their own to breed the character above as they eat less while still energetic as opposed to ya and even some cereals b4 they cook as distributed by the garbage van the trade in and most even artificial made food b4 being cooked like beans or green-grams. The vendor was away, kebi ordered 40 bob Githeri with hot tea while that fellow named above order 4 10 bob both, saying with signs kebi eats much, which he has refuted saying what u got in store or come with to want people to follow ya ways? Nothing dude, but looking keenly its pure hunger, so kebi got furious and kicked his plate of Githeri till all scattered on the ground while his 40 bob Githeri, he turned the plate to spill just in a head while they fight b4 kebi leaves him alone. When kebi left, critics had it and know the above character of theirs, the man scooped the 40 bob Githeri plus some of his and took as well kebi left tea and ate all. Friends what do this entail, they want u to cook to eat many people that they r still jew, if the negro come by will overpower them in the election and overrule them so they want the vice versa once they have known the making machines technology which they will sell to many nations not yet knowing the same to claim the old slogan the jew will rise which aint wise as in tumblr a/c sirjustice202, those nations they plan to sell to have all learnt the same. So high population and with poverty, so want u to cook to feed their kids and u tell them am not kikuyu get to ya tribe and organize such with them as well as people with not straight earlobe, collect all such people and form groups to help ya, don’t rush to straight ear lobed people 4 the same. Get it straight dude.

The zones which are fish prone in East African lakes should be monitored using drones to avoid illegal indiscriminate fishing as described below using wi-fi drones as in the link below. Many can be placed at like 1000 meter squire, mfalme wa yawhodi to bring out reality and eliminate unhealthy and unscrupulous business deals which are against the poor and pro the rich 4 those tactics not to be know to length their lifespan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i7pwO0whMw

The China speakers with lights glittering on them, can have switches to put them on and off if u like. Lets just say any Radio speaker with lights dude, Manufacturers get this straight dude as customer needs demands.

I don’t orchestrate poor marriages, rather stay alone than to bring suffering kids to take ya to hell. The question that day will be who convinced ya with marriage to give birth to the above, get him/her out of his comfort zone and hurl him into fire and leave the above cheated person. I tell you friends, not 1 of these stones will be left UN-turned as all the beans will be spilled as their will be weeping and gnashing of teeth b4 being released as its not blasphemy not 4given if u repent not. Must test the fire 4 every meg sin, not that its either inferno or not case. Friends Rich-man and Lazarus parable to change ya mind and leave ya wicked ways. Many will say they aint my kids, artificial insemination was done which i knew later after doing DNA to be left alone and the wife gets into the inferno. W omen stop Mr Hindu and many White-men deludes ya,i f u know not dude.

Never say i wanted good life or my ways with women were alarming, so did the same with me to avert the whole case, friends, i have been through a lot and kinda, has distorted my mind to leave me alone. Now i don’t want the above, as i want to be all alone and even if i can be with a kid, i don’t want the same or now am prudent with big cash, i don’t want the same but just leave me alone.

Now i used Chrome and they have shifted like my 4 a/c but to my benefit, so they ascertain and know how i said well i wright characters more than 30 i have guessed to leave me alone when i used other browsers which they cant shift. Dude a blessing in disguise.

Canadians are Negros, while Benin people got kamba blood while Most Germans got Benin blood as well as Tanzania fellows, so Canada too big they want to go their reason 4 claiming the above and even with luo who got kamba blood. Kamba blooded almost always wanting the good side of life, very very bad character in deed. If u think of getting to Canada, kinda, u see an ignited fire like forest fire as well as u think of marrying a kamba blooded people. Dude take ya to hell and they deleted the bible and they want the same teaching other friends clans like the Hindu bro. U aint jew or Egyptian, the 2 r as described in tumblr a/c sirjustice202 and more. Sit down and let them spill the beams dude. They play insane to get by as be acquitted from hell inferno as in the link bellow, the ignition of a fire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj-E-YnyLK4

Nyako molo ma-humphry eteni dwalo cha, be osemiye, gimolo omuodo asking Eunice while delanu crops in to say, poko-omiye/golone, gimolo ochamao, tabia mabaya shana kwa wasichana. Patiana hiyo kittu, haraka magadalio

Click the link below 4 more, women telling the likes of Kebi on 1 hand but on the other hand as many now whats simple life as show in the photo below to eliminate the lifestyle shown in the song link below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id5XOZf6txg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vh2I2HabjEM

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nomanicsdak · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://manicdak.com/this-is-all-alkibiades-fault/

This is All Alkibiades Fault

Finally: Korinth

Recap: Having acquired the feather from that rando lady aka: Athena 4 real, nobody can convince me otherwise, it is now time to see what is the next quest on the agenda! I am off to the Porneion district in Korinth to visit some hetaerae as instructed. Anthousa is my contact, so let’s go find her! I immediately stumble into a nearby pyre and catch myself aflame, because I am super good at this game.

Korinth isn’t too far away, and their flag is a Pegasus! I think it’s going to be easy to find her, but alas—the hetaerae aren’t in the Porneion district after all.

Next, I talk to some horny dude, and he tells me that they have made themselves scarce because some dude named “Monger” and his army are loitering about. Looks like I’m going to have to defeat a dude, but lets check the rest of the clues. Next I find some scaredy cat who tells me more about how the Hetaerae were pushed out of the market by he who shall not be named.

Finally a woman to talk to, maybe she’ll be more helpful. She just wants to err— sell me her wares, but does indeed tell me where I might be able to find Anthousa! Possibly she is at the temple of Aphrodite, because they have clients there. I will check there first.

I find this temple through pure happenstance whilst clearing locations. The guards chase me all the way up a mountain after I get caught looting. Thank you, guards!

A Simple Favour

What conversing with Alkibiades is like.

I stop off at an exclamation point and pick up a quest, and LO! It is Alkibiades there to assign me dubious package delivering tasks and make sex puns at me. Of course I will deliver the package, Ace. Winkity wink.

We comment on the size of this box I am to deliver and he tells me that big things can come in small packages sometimes. I get stonewalled with the rest of my questions. No, I can’t know about the guy who gave this package to Alkibiades in the first place or what it is. Why can’t Ace or the OG guy who gave him the package deliver it? It’s just a chain of favors and I’m the last link apparently. I also learn that Alkibiades’s favorite Hetaerae and/or his favorite port of call changes based on his mood. And that is all we get to discuss for now.

I have Anthousa to find and a tiny package to deliver.

Okay, I’m delivering it to a guy near a fort in the name of Diodoros. It’s absolutely, definitely, totally NOT from Alkibiades. Nope. Lol, I have a feeling Ace over here is 1000% setting this Diodoros dude up somehow. Haha, Let’s go find out!

I’m sorry Anthousa, but my curiosity is piqued. Consulting the map to select the newly acquired quest, I discovered that I have completed the cave quest! I guess I’ll also go collect that reward, but first to synchronize this location so I don’t have to walk back here again!

A quick fast travel back to Phokis to complete this quest and score a buttload of XPs! Nice.

Back to Aphrodite’s temple now!

Okay, so the “Monger” is hassling people at the temple now, so the Hetaerae have moved on to somewhere else. Basically this guy is giving everyone the shakedown. He’s after the Hetaerae because they rake in the dough and he wants a piece of the action. This is why they are in hiding, so I guess I’m going to take the monger down.

Time to deliver the package, then visit Anthousa at her possibly new hiding place, possibly place that she has already fled leaving some other lady to tell me about her possible whereabouts.

So, I have to infiltrate a damn fort to get this package in and deliver it to a general—and it is a, well, I’ll let Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg explain:

So, it’s not an actual dick in a box, it’ is a casting of one and it comes with a note: “For when your wife starts to miss me” Hahaha, but also, thank you for sending me into a heavily guarded outpost for THIS, Ace.

Well, A: I’m not going to sell Alkibiades out obviously, but B: This dude in front of me is probably going to waste Diodoros if I say its’ from him. I could say it’s from me which would be hilarious, but I don’t know— This can’t possibly be part of some brilliant military stratagem can it? I take a while to think it over, and just end up doing what Alkibiades told me to do. Like, I don’t want to be on his bad side, for real. The last thing I need is someone sending my enemies handcrafted artisanal dildos when he decides I’m not useful anymore.

Anyway, the package recipient whose name I don’t remember threatens to end Diodoros. Him and his little army too as I suspected. Huh. Maybe it IS part of a brilliant military stratagem after all? At least that’s what Ace more or less tells me when I find him in Aphrodite’s temple. He wanted to get Diodoros out of the way and this seemed to work a treat. Now that is done, so it’s time for more egregious flirting. He wants to know did Alexios like what he saw? About the casting—which was his doing of course as if there were any doubt in the first place. I’m on to your ways, friend! Also, he’s into doing it right here in the temple… I mean, if we’re going to defile a temple then I guess we could do worse than Aphrodite’s.

Surprise!

I can’t think of a reason not to this time. There are no goats anywhere nearby. Flash-forward to tomorrow, Ace has bid me adieu with hope for an encore performance at some future point, and it is now time to visit Anthousa!

Finding the Hetarae

I find her at the fountain and surprise Phoibe is here! Alexios is not enthused about this turn of events. She is just here to relay to Anthousa that I am coming, an “emissary” if you will. I let her tag along for a while, but when I start asking about my mom, Myrrine and Phoibe starts in about how I’m a sad orphan raised by Markus of the bad ideas on nowhere island, I send her away to play. She’s annoyed, but I don’t want her to get hurt or reveal all my secrets!

Anthousa might know something, but first I have to help her and the girls with their little Monger problem.

I Found them!

I finish up the fort location instead of the Monger quest, and I find that I have somehow picked up a huntress quest. For once I get to visit a huntress camp without getting besieged by bears. This one was super easy, because I already just took care of the captain that was hassling these ladies and the quest is finished before it even started! I’m all for easy XPs!

Now, onto the Monger problem.

The Torture Room

The first part of this quest is to find out why one of the ladies, Damalis’s, clients has been acting strangely. Probably the Monger put him up to it, possibly by kidnapping his family or something. Let’s go find out!

Phoibe has followed me, I try to be nice, but honestly her inserting herself into these proceedings is worrisome to say the least. I mean, I don’t have an easy time avoiding stabby bandits myself, but I’m sure the game has concrete plans for her that are unavoidable anyway, which I have magically not been spoiled about. I mean, I’ve been playing this game for a thousand years now it’s a miracle I don’t know all its secrets already.

In any case, we team up and Phoibe tells me about things she overheard. This dude is having a meeting at a pig farm about some land and is supposed to bring Damalis there also I find out. While I’m distracting him with this info I know courtesy of my girl Phoibe, she breaks in and steals a bunch of clues. I sat there and listened to the guy blabbering for forgiveness at me, but I’m still not quite sure what the Monger has on this him that he’s acting the fool and willing to betray Damalis, whom he claims to love. It’s time to find some more clues!

We head to a house that was in the letter Phoibe stole. I find some bloody pots, a secret room, a lock of hair that somehow Alexios knows by smell. Though he can’t quite place it. Oh, and a wall with a creepy manacle attached to it and also casts of faces and breasts — So, the Monger has a creepy torture sex dungeon. Gross. Just in time, one of the Monger’s lackeys arrives to call me a prude explain it to me in case I didn’t figure it out from the clues. Bro, it’s more the kidnapping people and holding them against their will that’s the evil of it, not my prudish ways. Ugh. In any case, he has caught Phoibe, but she escapes with Alexios’s help.

I head back to Damalis to give her the bad news and chastise Phoibe for not listening to instructions. Anyway, Damalis is grateful and now knows what to steer clear of RE: the Monger’s plans. Also, I level up! Time to spend some ability points!

One thought before we move on— Whose familiar lock of hair was that in the Monger’s lair? Do I know someone he kidnapped???? IS HE someone I know? Alkibiades? Herodotus? Sokrates? Yikes. For now, all we can do is move on and help the rest of the hetaerae.

Come Sail Away

A woman named Erinna has misplaced her friend Kleio. The only clue we have to go on is that some guy saw her get on a boat. I spend bunch of time sinking this pirate boat only to find out that Kleio was the one who hired them. It was not an abduction, she was running away from the Monger. To Mykanos. Heh. Good thing I already took care of the tyrant on that island. Well, in any case, I agree to take her there. I’m certainly not going to force her back to Korinth if she doesn’t want to be there. I head back to give Erinna the good news. She’s super sad that her friend is gone, and makes me promise that she’s safe.

Sure thing! She’s with my girl Kyra and my bro Thaletas now.

Taking Down the Monger

My next quest in this area is called “lawless port” or something and I wander blindly towards the gold diamond only to find that it’s right in the Monger’s warehouse. I have to hide in the bushes until the guard goes away so I can plot my strategy. Apparently I am supposed to burn down the warehouse.

Good, eff this Monger dude. I see some people tied up in there and I free them before I start any fires. As I do the deed and attract more guards all of a sudden — A cut scene! Some dude with a Spartan shield comes in to save the day! Yas! I don’t have to beat all these guys! Am I supposed to know this dude? Was it his hair?

After we beat all the baddies together I learn that his name is Brasidas and I do not know him after all. He wants to deal with the Monger on the DL, because of blablabla politics. (Sparta is Allied with Kornithia, if the take out the main guy in public that’s bad for business.) I get the choice to help him or stick with Anthousa. TBH, my first inclination is Brasidas’s hush, hush option, so lets do that. Mainly because I don’t even remember what Anthousa’s plan was. I already helped out her friends.

Brasidas

Anyway, after that’s all decided I spill all my family secrets to Rando McSpartan over here. He knows Myrrine, and my not dad— who I say I haven’t seen him since the whole cliff throwing incident but… who the fuck did I meet on that first beach I landed on? Wolf of Sparta? That was Nikolaos, my Spartan dad, right? Who is still not dead? I let him live, because fuck the Serpent. Why am I lying to Brasidas? or is this game so long that even the writers forgot what happened in the beginning??? (I have no choice in the dialog options here, so I’m not actually choosing to be cagey about it. I am very confused, game.) The exit to this convo is to tell Brasidas I’m not dwelling on the past, so let’s not. We have Mongers to eliminate.

Anthousa Displeased

As expected Anthousa is not pleased with my decision making. And after she arranged a whole viewing party for the Monger’s execution and everything. I head off to do the deed and as I’m passing through the market I get a notice that there is a cultist clue nearby! Cool! I send Ikaros flying, but there’s nothing there. Searching doesn’t help either. With the help of the internets I find out that I have to buy the clue from the Blacksmith. This clue tells me that the deserter Pallas is the cultist and I can find him in Achia. But that will have to wait! I also discover that I have a bunch of dudes I can unmask, but I haven’t bothered to, so I do that. Now the map shows me exactly where they are! Heh. Why have I been making this quest much harder than it had to be?

I am back in the sacred cave—the cave the ended my cave quest. Good news, the Monger thinks I’m a demi-god also, and I definitely don’t know him. Shit, though—he knows my mom? Was it her hair???? We get a flashback to him manhalding her because she had the gal to stand up to him. This guy is attacking my mom, kidnapping people, and being a general devil. Also, he is confirmed to be a cultist! It’s time to end him!

Anthousa shows up just at the end of the fight to try to convince me to do this one last time in public so the people can see his cowardice. I mean, I don’t know if dragging an already beaten up man in for a public execution gets that message across at this point. Who doesn’t show up? Brasidas. I thought he was supposed to be helping me! In any case, I’m not doing that. Goodbye, Monger. I’ll take my golden triangle. I think I only need three more to upgrade the spear now!

The End

Later, Anthousa, is not quite as steamed at me as she was at first. She thanks me, and ‘for once’ thanks to Alkibiades. We share a chuckle over him and his wily ways and she tells me about my mom. She was a friend, but Myrrine wasn’t happy there in Korinth.

Here’s the points of interest: She left Spart, because—you know the attempted child murder. She was heartbroken. Anthousa gave her shelter after finding her in the streets. She looked to the sea, clearly she was restless in Korinthia, and she never told anybody anything about her past or where she was going. The only clue I get is that dear old Mom got on a ship called the Siren Song, known for her ability to weather anything Poseidon could throw her way.

We bid each other adieu and Anthousa promises to keep me up to date on Korinthia’s happenings.

#Miscellaneous

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ariellynn14 · 7 years

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TouMyu Yume Hitotsu Mini Album Reviews!!

So I finally got to listen to the new TouMyu songs after being so busy this past week. So I consider this a treat for very hard work this week as I worked myself a little to much this week……

Do check out the translations here as my japanese atm is terrible and I haven’t had time to study it lately. This post should direct you to the translations as I am still learning to use Tumblr and I have no clue how to get links for posts yet XD

http://rz-jocelyn.tumblr.com/post/159357690141/hello-thank-you-so-much-for-the-touken-ranbu

(Just warning ya……it’s an overly long list ahead and it took me almost an hour and a half to complete.)

~~~~

Quick note before the actual review so people dont get mad at me later on:In all honesty……….Nagasone and Hachisuka did not impress me at all……I find that their voices are super weak compared to everyone else when doing duets. Yes i understand Imari and Kensuke were the Kostetsu brothers, but their voices just don’t match……Kensuke has a deeper voice than Imari (which should be flopped since Nagasone has the deeper voice in game where as Hachisuka has the higher one) I like their versions of the songs but seriously…….I can’t really stand their songs as of right now and they definatly have to grow on me. I might end up liking them later on but for now its just not there for me (My dad had commented and said they sounded like they were still going through puberty, but he knows all of the actors are adults since my cousins are very huge with Butai actors and other Butai things.)

~~~~

So the first song I will review is………Heart-To-Heart!!!

Horikawa and Kane-san…….I freaking love their voices together!!!!! Ogotan and Shoutarou’s voices blend so well together!! They make me want to sing along with them every time I listen to their voices!!!! Honestly they make such a good duo and I’m very glad that they got cast as Horikawa and Kane-san! Their version of Heart-To-Heart is so cute! I love Horikawa’s parts the most!! Ogotan really did a good job at his part and played it well!!

Now for Kashuu and Yamato!! OmG…………the voice dynamics that they have together though!!!!! It makes me overly happy compared to Horikawa/Kane-san’s version. I love how Ryuji puts so much energy into the chorus as well as Toripyo. They blend so well and in all the times I have listened to their version, I have sang along each time.They make everything sound so well and with me being a music student, listening to the dynamics helps with my pitch range significantly. (especially Ryuji’s voice since I sing an octive or more above him so singing along is helping me with my studies….not to mention the lyrics get stuck in my head quite quickly! xD)

Just a side note……when both say “You and I are two of a kind” I kinda lost it since their pronuncation is actually extremely good for English not being their native language. ^°^

Next song is……..Prologue!!!

So…….whats my thoughts on Imari and Kensuke’s version you ask?? Well Its good but like I said before their voices have to grow on me before I make my final judgement. I feel as though Imari slurred quite a bit and Kensuke sounds kinda like he is straining which is not the best combo to have in the audio that thousands of fangirls are potentially willing to buy. Its quite good however for me not really liking them all to well. Its the same with Ryo and Daichi. their voices had to grow on me and now i find them so sexy its not even funny now! XD

Now for Horikawa/Kane-san!! Ahh!!! This version is so cute!! Yes I know that both versions are the same, but their voices blend so much better for me and I don’t hear really any slurring or straining going on. I have to praise Ogotan as his voice is so adoreable and he makes me wanna hug him so much! Again this is another song that I have been singing along to each time I listen to it as it is just so cute!!!

Now for……..Beautiful Tragedy!!!

So………Imari and Kensuke sang this one as well…..its OK but not to my liking. Yes I realize that they are the ones that sang it first but I find the Kashuu/Horikawa and the Kashuu/Yamato versions much better. I just have this weird issue with their voices and how they don’t blend as well together as the other voices do. As much as I hate to say it, I just don’t like their voices all to much. There’s to much to cover about their voices and it makes me really sad to say that.

So how about Kashuu/Yamato’s version…..what do I think about that?? HOLY FUDGE THEY’RE SO GOOD!!!!!! (My quote 2017)

Well straight from the beginning at the “woah” part I was in heaven. Like seriously when Ryuji does the woahs behind Yamato it makes me go nuts. Yes I’m probably being 1000% biased since he is my favorite butai actor but he makes everything sound so much better!!! His husky and deep voice (did I also mention Sexy or no?? XD) blends so beautifully with Toripiyo’s higher pitched voice (which clearly he had to practice since he has a deeper voice than what I thought at first……) I can’t get over this song and its at the top of my TouMyu Bakumatsu Playlist. I love the bridge the most as it slows down and I can really hear Ryuji’s dynamics up against Toripiyo’s. I love the way they say “NOW AND FOREVER” as it sounds so sexy and like something I shouldn’t be listening to for my youngb age, but seriously when it comes to Ryuji I can’t back away. >.

Overall I love all of the songs so much!! The order that I will mist likely listen to them in is:

1. Beautiful Tragedy (Kashuu/Yamato)

2. Prolouge (Horikawa/Kane-san)

3. Heart-To-Heart (Kashuu/Yamato)

4. Heart-to-Heart (Horikawa/Kane-san)

5. Beautiful Tragedy (Hachisuka/Nagasone)

6. Prolouge (Hachisuka/Nagasone)

I can say that the Kashuu and Yamato duets are the strongest by listening to all of them. They convey the most emotion and make me sing to them every time I listen, the Horikawa and Kane-san ones are very strong as well but I think because I was so hyped to get the Kashuu and Yamato CDs I became overly biased as soon as I listened to them. As for Hachisuka and Nagasone…..I’m not the biggest fan, but I will try my best to listen to their versions when I get tired of listening to the other guys singing…..if that ever does happen xD

On one more note I must point out how well Ryuji blends so well with everyone in Yume Hitotsu and Hitohira no Kaze. He has the most control out if everyone else and it’s defiantly noticeable…..like when singing with Toripiyo, he’s what 5 years older than Ryuji, and Ryujui has way more control than him, even when listening to his raw vocals. He sounds like he has some of the best control I’ve evr heard in my life! (No amerivan male singer can nearly do it as well as Ryuji is a comment that I am making now as Ryuji is way better than any American male singer I have ever heard. I mean there are so many wonderful male singers out there in the american world, but its gotten to the point where all I listen to is japanese music since I can’t stand how overly sexualized the american music industry has become and how much boys sing about sex and that crap that me as a teenage girl doesn’t really want to talk about yet alone listen to…….) Ryuji has way more control than Toripiyo does in my opinion. For his age he has progressed so well and is growing to be such a seasoned performer. Coming from a performing arts and musical family I can tell the demeanor behind Ryuji and his actions. They might not be the best ideas ever but he puts so much effort into everything that he does and has excelled well over his comrads who have been in the business much longer than he has been. If he is reading this post I do wish him so much luck for his future and I congratulate him on all of his success!! He is well known in my music class (thanks to me, my boyfriend, and my best friend) and we all love his voice, even if we can’t understand you well. He has become very popular outside of Japan as well and many people know about him because of his beautiful works!!! Thank you so much for making these past 3+ years of my life so happy with your acting and singing!!!

Ryuji seriously derseves so much for everything that he’s done and I hope one day he gets an award for all of his work that has made so many people so happy.

Please support the boys by buying their albums as well as Team Sanjou’s albums on both the Japanese and International ITunes store.

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optimizedfamily · 5 years

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12 Awesome Gift Ideas Your Dad Will Actually Use!

Dads deserve more than one day a year to celebrate how special they are, right? That’s why this year’s Father’s Day gift has to be epic! But finding something that’ll blow their mind gets tougher every year! Lucky for you, we’ve got 12 of the most awesome, coolest gift ideas your dad won’t be expecting, but will be absolutely amazed at and remember for years to come!

1. ThePhotoStick - ONE Click Saves 1000's Of Dad's Photos & Videos!

Dads love it when they can turn a massive, near impossible job into a quick, 'no problem' task.

Lucky for you, ThePhotoStick is all that and more!

ThePhotoStick is the ONLY product of its kind that makes saving up to 60,000 photos and videos 100% hassle free! Just plug it into any PC or Mac, click the big green button that says ‘GO' - DONE!

It automatically starts downloading ALL your pictures and videos to the stick, where they're sorted and organized for easy referencing later.

No downloading software or technical expertise needed, no monthly cloud storage fees, and most important, no more worries about Dad's old, archaic computer crashing and zapping all his memories out of existence!

Learn More

2. Keysmart - Make Dad Proud With This Sleek Stylish Keychain!

This year give Dad the ultimate key organizer with KeySmart!

This ultra-durable, handy key organizer offers a patented S-Shape design to hold up to 14 keys! No more jingling, jangling! No more unsightly, bulky mass of metal!

No more getting poked in places Dad shouldn't get poked! It’s made of 3mm thick plates of aircraft-grade aluminum and it takes less than 3 minutes to assemble.

You can even customize Dad's KeySmart with his favorite color, adding a USB stick, bottle opener, and more! Yep, this is one slick gift Dad will love and won't mind showing off to his buddies or around the office!

Learn More

3. FIXD - This Is Dad's New 'Go-To' Car Tool!

This revolutionary car-health monitoring device gives Dad the control to diagnose his own darn car WITHOUT a visit to the auto shop - now that is control!

Just plug it into your car’s OBD2 port (under the dash) and within seconds it starts telling you, in plain English, what’s wrong with your car. EVEN BETTER, it tells you how much it should cost to fix so you aren’t forced to rely on the mechanic to tell you.

Give your Dad what every Dad wants - control....of his car with FIXD!

Learn More

4. VIZR - Help Dad Navigate WITHOUT Looking Away From The Road!

Help Dad safely drive AND navigate his way home with this super cool looking advanced navigation-display!

Dad will never have to look away from the road to glance at his phone while driving again - potentially averting disaster and helping assure he gets home safe and sound!

Inspired by fighter jet technology, VIZR is the Heads-Up-Display that lets him see critical info right in his line of view, like his: GPS location, next street exit, traffic conditions miles ahead, and MORE…and he can do it ALL while still focusing on the road in front of him!

Learn More

5. Peeps - The Ultimate Glasses Cleaner!

With a revolutionary and patented invisible carbon molecular formula, Peeps is the only way to safely and easily get glasses crystal-clear.

That’s why 1.5 MILLION people and over 12,000 Optometrists trust Peeps to clean their glasses.

The scratch-resistant brush, soft carbon microfiber pads and carbon formula remove particles, fingerprints and more for lenses as clean as the day you got them.

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6. Bondic - Dad's New Favorite 'Fix Anything' Tool!

Does your Dad love to use tape, glue, and/or wire to fix things?

If he's the kind of guy who just won't give up trying to fix something before throwing it away because he thinks it's 'unfixable' - he's gonna LOVE Bondic!

Why? Because Bondic can fix virtually ANYTHING!

Broken glasses? Cracked plumbing? Frayed wires? And so much more! With Bondic, you simply apply the special liquid-plastic formula to whatever you need repaired, shine the special UV light on it for 4 seconds - DONE!

Bondic is designed to last forever! Ensuring a long-lasting hold which means once it's fixed...it's FIXED! And Dad can go on being the hero once again!

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7. ScreenKlean - Instantly Make Dad's Expensive Device Screens Crystal-Clear!

Does Dad like expensive electronics?

Then he'll love ScreenKlean, it's the first and only screen cleaning product that uses Carbon Molecular Technology to attract and wipe away dirt, dust, and oils to make those hi-res screens shine through with crystal clear clarity the way they were intended too!

In fact, it's so powerful and effective that it's the ONLY cleaning technology used on the International Space Station! Wanna give Dad crystal clear? Shoot for the stars with ScreenKlean!

Learn More

8. Neck Hammock - Neck Pain Relief In MINUTES?! Dad Will LOVE You!

Dad ever call you a pain in the neck? Well, the next time he does, tell him to go use his Neck Hammock you got him for Father's Day!

Hailed as one of the best health finds of 2019, Neck Hammock relieves tension and stress in your neck in ONLY 10 MINUTES!

The Neck Hammock stretch bands use your own body weight to stretch your neck and create cervical traction.

This helps your tight, painful muscles release tension and relax. And using Neck Hammock is so easy! Just hang it on any door or railing, lay down, and voila! You’ll feel a change in just 10 minutes, guaranteed!

In fact, users claim it's so comfortable that they often fall asleep while using it!

Learn More

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bondedbrotherhood-blog · 5 years

Text

The chat

Written by @AmauroticKing and @LordshipHalogen #Warning #MatureThemes #TriggerWarning Mentions #Torture #Rape *~*~*~* Lassiter: Patience used to be a strong suit. Cause fuck, when you live this long? You learn to both take your time, savor time, and forget time. So it bothered the ever loving fuck outta me that waiting to speak to Wrath was a feeling equivalent to sitting on a live wire while resting my feet in an acid bath. Fucking /brutal/. I was surprised I hadn’t worn a hole in the carpet with my pacing. Raw as I was after that recent chat with Butch, V, Adrian and the King, the last thing I wanted to do was prolong the torture even further. As I bypassed the door again I snapped. “Fuck it.” Snatching at the door handle, I darted back out into the hall and beat feet down the stairs, back along the main hall and straight to the Kings doors. My knock was more a courtesy than a request, because I didn’t wait for the answer, walking straight in and shutting the door firmly behind me. “You wanted to talk? Well I can’t wait for that. M’ sorry, but shit’s hard enough without having to worry about going over this all again at some undetermined time.” Wrath: [Shit was a wormhole these days. It sucked you in and spit you out where whim decided and this whole fucking sitch with Lash ramping up on Angel blood, OUR angel's blood, and becoming some kind of super vampire wasn't flying well with me. And let's give wings to the fact, since I'm on the subject of the flying fuckers, Lassiter thought it a good idea to keep that shit that went down between him and Lash a secret. Not really my biz unless it happens to affect the entire race. Case in point. Lash held Lassiter captive, tortured the winged bastard, as much as we all knew (some more than others, thanks to the fucking human doctor-patient confidentiality bullshit I allowed to pass) any number of things that the male had kept to himself. By which, if I find cause that hiding said things puts my shellan and my son, my fucking race, at risk of annihilation or exposure, I'll pluck and gut the male with my own bare hands and fangs. Don’tcha just love stewing in a toxic soup that sets your very skin to boiling. And let's not forget the very reason why for this tasty treat. Fucking Lash. Damned hindsight says I should have let Qhuinn finish killing the bastard back when he nailed the fucker for teasing JM. My bonded male was going apeshit possessive as fuck and demanded nothing less than I demat right now and shred that piece of shit; if I knew where to find him, Vishous nor Butch would be able to stop me, I would bathe in that bastard's black blood for a fortnight. Logic fucking overrode that. Fucking fuck. Rubbing my temples, I knew Lassiter was pacing outside. I wouldn't push the male to talk until he was ready, but Scribe help me, once we start I wasn't going to hold back. And fuck I was tired of waiting. Tired of waiting for Lash to make his next move, tired of waiting for V and Cop to get their shit sorted, tired of having to hunt the Lessers that chose to hide like fucking cowards instead of dying on my warrior's blades like the worthless pieces of shit they were. Tired of… The rap at the door jerked my head up. FINALLY! ABOUT FUCKING TIME! Lassiter's getting to the point was music to my ears. I sat back, folded my arms over my chest and focused on where the male was standing.] Don't leave out any details. [I dropped my arms to the desk, exhaling a breath as I leaned in and dropped my voice.] Unless necessary, nothing said leaves this room. [Meaning, unless if was life or death, whatever Lassiter was going to relay of his time with Lash would stay between us. I owed him that much at the very least.] Lassiter: Wrath looked about as done with this shit as I was, but the King had a lot more to lose than me, even if I thought this family was also mine. I wasn’t mated to them; they weren’t my shellans, my hellrens, or my children. But Creator damn it… I still thought of them as mine… How did I explain that? How did I make him believe they mattered to me more than my life mattered? I didn’t fear dying at Lash’s hands… I feared being forced to exist under their constant ‘care’; a caged bird that he’d delight in stripping of it’s feathers, of teasing with freedom then breaking wings. “I d-don’t know how to say it in the first place.” My pulse thundered as I looked at my feet, my fingers curling into fists at my sides. It didn’t feel fair, to have to do this. To have to relive it again and again. I thought I’d escaped Hell by being made an Angel, but this still /felt/ like Hell, so what was the fucking difference? I got to have fluffy wings? Please. “You’re pissed at me I didn’t say something sooner,” I tried instead, prolonging the inevitable. “Like I kept all that fucking shit to myself to be selfish. Am I right?” I looked up, and even though I knew he was blind, I met his gaze. Sightless or not, he knew where I was, and he knew I’d be doing it. There was no crown on his head in this moment, behind these doors. There was me and a male ready to do anything to protect his loved ones. I respected it, even as I loathed having to revisit anything I’d endured with Lash. Wrath: I’m pissed that Lash got close enough to Beth he could have.. [Trying to stop the growl from vibrating through me and across the desk would have been akin to trying to stop a 1000 foot tsunami from making landfall with a fishing net. The edge of the desk fared not much better, the wood cracked and groaned under the pressure of my fists as I held back as much as I could. This wasn’t wholly Lassiter’s fault. This was Lash’s doing.] Yeah, I’m pissed you chose to keep most of what happened to yourself. I know from Jane that you were seriously injured, but the deets were kept… confidential. That is, until our little meeting about Lash getting souped up on your blood and going apeshit on you. THAT part, you didn’t think was a little more, oh, I don’t know, a need to know detail that should have been passed along? [After the initial blow-by reliving Lash being near Beth calmed, I worked to keep my voice low and even. Lassiter wasn’t the enemy here and biting his head off, literally, wouldn’t do me, or the others any good. But fuck me if I didn’t want to in some moments.] So why don’t you… why don’t you start with how Lash managed to acquire your “company” the night you disappeared? Lassiter: Bless. Jane. I know I’d given her an orgasm or two recently, but maybe I needed to consider more extravagant gifts, knowing now that she’d kept the details of my torture completely to herself. The fact she’d kept it from Wrath, the King and orchestrater of this whole domain, spoke volumes to her doctor/patient confidentiality ethics. It meant that other than Q seeing the damage, nobody else knew the extent of what Lash had done to me. “Sure, I bet it seems so easy to you,” I mutter bitterly, “just tell all the big, strong vampires that one of their former trainees turned son of the bad guy caught you, broke you down and destroyed you.” I let out a bark of laughter, but there was nothing in it but the pain, humiliation and misery this whole conversation inspired. “Sorry if it wasn’t super high on my to do list after shit hit the fan…” Turning away from the male, I moved toward the fire place. The heat failed to warm me. To be expected when the depths of your soul felt ice cold. Taking in a deep breath, I braced one hand against the mantle and closed my eyes. I’d told myself I’d do this… and I was gonna do it. But fuck if every word wasn’t gonna feel like razors in my throat. “It started when I went after Blaylock,” I said quietly. “When he was… corrupted by the Omega. I thought I’d sensed something wrong. Something off. I thought I could talk to him. Bring him back into light. But when I went to see him that night… he was talking to Lash. I tried to intervene and Blay… he left,” I muttered. “And Lash and I fought.” Wrath: [Lassiter’s hurting sarcasm was expected, so I let slide the fact that his tone wasn’t exactly reverent at the moment while reliving his nightmare in captivity. Listening carefully, it was another tidbit of surprise that Blay was involved in any of this. And again I wasn’t kept apprised of the shit going down until the whole fucking building came crashing down and everyone was back at the manse and accounted for. My molars ground but I didn’t say anything until I Lassiter took more than a pausing breath.] You could “sense” the Omega’s presence in Blay, but you didn’t have the forethought to bring it to my attention. [I half wondered that if the Angel had sensed it, if Butch had as well since he still retained the parting gift the Omega bestowed on him all those years ago: the ability to suck down a lesser to destroy it so it’s energy wouldn’t revert back to the Omega. My mind made a quick wander. Would Cop have been able to suck the evil corruption from Blay when it was first found out and leave the male in one piece, or would it have killed him instantly since he was alive whereas Lessers were basically ass-powder-smelling meat sacks?] And you caught him /talking/ to Lash? [My voice rose, that earlier bit about my bonded male wanting to decapitate the motherfucker and shit down his neck was still waiting on the command GO. Biting down a growl, I gave a sharp nod to the rest of it.] Must have been some fight if Lash got the drop on /you/. [More molar grinding, wood cracking and some chair creaking as I attempted to lean back and pretend to be at ease. Right.] How. I want to know how he caught you. We now have TWO angels, fucking Scribe help me, and I need to know how Lash managed to not only catch you, but keep you from escaping. [I was a little privy to knowing that Lassiter and friend had a type of dematerializing, but that they could also fly. With wings. And that sneaky fucking invisibility bullshit too (just because I couldn’t not “see” them go invisi didn’t mean I didn’t have the intel on it), so they weren't helpless as humans. If Lash managed to get his hands on Lassiter once, what was to stop him from grabbing up Adrian or Lassiter a second time? Fuck.. Just the thought of what that motherfucker could do with /one/ angel’s blood was enough to give me a migraine even the SV couldn’t take away. But if Lash had /both/ angels and an unending supply of super-blood? Not something I was willing to think about.] Lassiter: “I didn’t sense the Omega,” I corrected sharply, eyes narrowing as I looked back to Wrath, frowning. “I sensed darkness. Indecision. Conflict. It wasn’t like Butch, or Lessers. It was something else. I couldn’t have known it was the Omega until it was too late.” Which, ironically, was exactly how it had happened. And boy, if Wrath’s voice doing the little octave climb was any indication, he was furious. How much was V or Cop telling him after shit hit the fan? Were they sparing his blood pressure? I’d have made a comment to as much but the reminder of Lash jumping me had my jaw clenching. “Hold your fucking royal horses, Wrath,” I managed, forcing the words out. “I’m getting to that part and I legit can’t tell it any fucking faster or I’ll have an aneurysm, alright?” Where was Fritz when I needed him? A drink that was a hundred proof would be perfect right about now. Fuck, I’d settle for a glass of water if it gave my hands something to hold and stop shaking. Squeezing both of them into fists, I stared at a spot past Wrath’s shoulder and kept going. “I tried to leave. There wasn’t just Lash. Blay left and then the Lessers came. They ambushed me. I summoned my wings to leave and… and Lash got a hold of me. Apparently, his dear dad also got a hold of angel restraints.” I thought of the manacles, of my wings forced to stay out and exposed, and I shuddered. The rustling sound they’d make rippled through the room, even though I didn’t dare summon them anymore. “Angel manacles, crafted by demons, can contain an angelic being and their power. Like steel can keep vampires from dematerializing? These things can make sure an angel can’t access their power or the power gifted them by the Creator.” I rattled it all off like it was facts, and it was, but underneath the history lesson was the cold, hard truth that once an angel was in those things, they were subjected to whatever a demon wanted. Whatever Lash wanted. I cleared my throat. “Once I was in those I couldn’t get away. Lash had the Lessers truss me up like a turkey and throw me in the back of a van. I was bound, gagged and blindfolded. I had… no idea where they were taking me,” I add quietly. I could still remember the taste of that rag, the frantic thumping of my heart. Wrath: [Patience was not my virtue, not by a long shot. But I gave Lassiter what minute piece I had left. Which wasn’t saying much. That I believed the angel when he said he didn’t sense the Omega /in/ Blay was a good sign that the warrior hadn’t been as corrupted as we’d all feared. But the disrespectful snark earned the angel a low warning growl, otherwise I kept quiet until the male was finished.] You forgot the first rule of engagement. Never go alone. [Even the angel, case in point, wasn’t invincible. Beyond that. These chains? If Lash still had them, it meant he had a weapon we couldn’t fight against if Lassiter or Adrian were caught up in them. If either of the males were hung up in the manacles, they’d be helpless as humans. Fucking Omega and his spawn. ] I don’t suppose you’d know if anyone picked up the chains before that warehouse went up? [I knew no one had, V’s report back after he torched the place was beyond thorough, but I still needed to ask. There wasn’t anything left, and unless Lash took the chains with him when the fuck escaped, the high possibility that they had melted into the ground was all I could hope for. If Lash no longer had them, it might take him a little time to get another set. One could only send a prayer to the SV that another set would never be found/made. The Lessers and Lash had a penchant for torture, like it was their specialty. Bella had endured a similar gruesome experience that nearly drove Zsadist beyond the point of no return. Every available body had gone to rescue Lassiter, but he wouldn’t let anyone but Qhuinn and Doc Jane near him for a long week after they brought the male home.] Lassiter: I grimaced and shook my head. Whatever became of the chains… I had no idea. I wanted them to be gone. Destroyed. Preferably while wrapped around Lash’s throat. But I rarely got what I wanted. After a second I remembered that Wrath couldn’t see me shaking in the negative. “No. I don’t know if anyone picked them up. I have no idea where they are or what happened to them.” Taking a breath, I curbed all the attitude I wanted to throw out there until my voice was perfectly toneless. “And I didn’t forget the rules of engagement. I went to talk to Blay. Not to fight Lash.” I looked at Wrath, even if he couldn’t see my eyes. “Killing that fucker is supposed to be for all of you.” Though now I definitely wanted a piece of it. I wanted Lash’s death more than I’d wanted anything in a long time. “Rest assured, your Highness,” again, still no mockery, no attitude. No emotion at all. “You have a new soldier to help bring him down now. Even if I don’t have a hand in his death, I hope to Creator I’m there to see it.” Moving back toward the desk, I curled my fingers around the wood on my side. I clung to the emotionless state even though it was a lie, even though behind the facade every tortured emotion was screaming to come out. “Do you know what a blood eagle is, Majesty? Because if you don’t, I’m sure you know other things. Like how much greater the sexual high is, feeding while f-fucking.” My voice broke. But damn it. I couldn’t stop. “Lash was fond of it. And my wings. He liked those. He liked to break them, the bones. He wanted to build me a cage, so he could keep me. Keep me on tap for a constant energy source. To rape me whenever the mood took him. Which he did,” I whispered hoarsely, my knuckles white as I clung to the desk, clung to it like it was the only thing keeping me in the world. “That’s what happened… while I was gone. That’s what he did… to pass the time. He beat me. He fed from me. He fucked me. He broke me.” Just like that, the energy fled. The strength, the resilience. Everything. All the pieces I’d been holding myself together with vanished at the confession, the relief of it and admitting to someone just how bad the lasting damage was. My legs buckled. I dropped. Wrath: [Hearing Lassiter confirm that he was onboard with taking out Lash only made me “like” the male that much more. But the string of abuse that Lash dolled out to the male wasn’t a surprise. Lash was a sick fuck on a good day if you could list him ever having had one. Spoiled bastard, and then I let him into the program just because his parents held a high glymera status spoke volumes about me. That I allowed that fucker in and this happened. I wasn’t as stone cold as I made myself out to be. Each bit more Lassiter chose to bite out, and yeah, you fucking bet I could SMELL the emotion rolling off the male strongly as if he’d been drenched in some sort of cologne and set in front of a fan, seared the need to find and end Lash and the Omega once and for all.] Dammit. [Rubbing the space between my wraparounds and my eyes, I looked up at the male, and though I couldn’t “see” him, I could tell he was fighting to hide his hurt harder than he ever had.] I don’t have to tell you… Shit.. [Without sight, I dematerialized and reformed an instant behind Lassiter, catching the male before he hit the floor.] Easy man, I gotchu. [My voice low and soft as I lifted Lassiter. I didn’t need to see him to know how being held captive by Lash fucked a person over. Lassiter is just the lucky SOB that got to live to tell about it and is now gearing up to go back for more.] Lassiter: Wrath caught me. I’d expected it to be the floor. The King was the last person I’d thought to have a gentle grip and to handle me so carefully, but there he was, settling my shaking ass into a chair and moving like I was glass. It put a lump in my throat, a vice around my heart. It was a reminder that at the end of the day, this male and these families were why I’d endured everything I had. For them. To stay with them. Finding my voice, I no longer cared if it broke or trembled. Wrath knew everything now. What had happened, and the clusterfuck of emotions that came with it. I didn’t have to hide it. “M’ sorry,” I managed gruffly, my hands lingering on his arms to give them a thankful squeeze. “For… for dropping on my ass n’... n’ for not saying anything sooner.” Though, after my little meltdown thirty seconds ago, I at least hoped the King now understood exactly ‘why’ I hadn’t raced to share all the gory details. Reliving or thinking about this shit too often was bad for my health. “Qhuinn n’ Doc… they know cause…” Deep breath in, let it out slowly. “My broken wings had to be reset before they could heal and I could put them away. Q was the only one I trusted at the time so… I asked him to help reset them.” I hadn’t sensed it at the time, too lost in my own hell, but the male’s misery and rage at seeing me, at having to hurt me just to help me, had lingered. Not to mention the scar down my spine… “Not everything healed… The blood eagle…” I clenched my jaw just thinking about it. “It left scars down my back. That Lash treated with salt. To leave his mark,” I said bitterly, drawing in another breath like it might cleanse me. “So when I say I’m in this fight, Wrath? I’m fuckin’ in it. Not just to ghost around the edges or play to everyone’s strengths.” Wrath: [Taking the male, by memory rather than feel, to the nearest chair, was the least I could do for him. Fuck. And the feel of his grip to my arms? Yeah, clinch the fucking feelings shit too.] Yeah? Keeping /that/ kind of shit in isn’t good for anyone, even you. [When he released my arms, I gave the male a firm squeeze to his shoulder and stood, shuffling back until my leg hit the desk.] I’m glad you told me, it couldn’t have been an easy thing to do, but you know why I needed to know, Lass. [Instead of walking back around to sit in my chair, I leaned against the side of the mahogany piece of furniture that had once belonged to my father and crossed my arms over my chest.] Q’s been through some tough shit himself, and it must have killed him to have to help you like that. [Qhuinn’s father had sent those males after him to beat him, as per ritual demanded, but they’d nearly killed the male had Blay and JM not found him in time.] But you should know you could have trusted me, Lassiter. Everything leaves a scar, even the good stuff. I’ve heard of the blood eagle once. A very old Viking ritual that usually ends up with the victim 6 feet under before it’s completed. Sweet Scribe, Lassiter…. [Blowing out a low growl, not directed at Lassiter this time, but at Lash for putting the male through such pain and in the eyes and at the hands of others as well.] I’m glad you’re in. We’ll get this bastard one way or another. Lassiter: Q had been in enough pain without me adding to it, but the male had stepped up for me. I’d never forget it. And trust Wrath… yeah, I suppose I could’ve. But at the bottom of the well you’re oblivious to all the people above that could pull you out. You only see the light and desperately try to reach out for it. I bowed my head as even Wrath lamented the suffering of the ritual and all the shit I’d gone through. I entirely agreed with the growl. “What do you want me to do.” It was less a question and more a statement. Because I would be needed. I would fight. And there was always something to be done. Adding an angel to the battlefield changed the field itself. We were invisible and we were immortal. We had power that vampires couldn’t hope to reach. And I’d use /all/ of it to correct the balance in this world and rid it of Lash. “You wanted to know the sitch and now you do. And when it comes to the next fight I’ll be there. So tell me what you want to do.” Wrath: I want you ready to fight. [And was the long and short of it. We needed every available body ready to move when Lash showed his next target. And I’d be damned to hell if we were caught with our pants down again. And in this, I needed to show, tell, Lassiter I trusted him to trust me.] No one goes out alone. I want everyone in pairs, including you and Adrian, and don’t engage in the daytime, just scout and report back. When we’re ready to make a move, then we strike per the plan we’ll work up, no male left behind. [I leveled a look at the male from behind dark glasses without raising my voice. I didn’t need to.] You’ll sit in with Cop and V and myself each night when everyone gets their rotation orders once lockdown is lifted. Take Adrian with you and make sure he knows all the ins and outs of the place where needed as well as scope out some daytime Lesser haunts. Until then, I want you and Adrian to work out a schedule with Butch and Tohr to work with the trainees and get them as ready as you can. Push them to their limits and then push them some more. Lassiter: Nodding along with the King, I gave a murmur in the affirmative, so he knew I was all for it. I may have been a sassy, smart ass, pain in the ass, but on this I’d work with every male in the manse to make sure shit got done. We were in this for the same thing, and there were few more motivated than myself. Training trainees, keeping watch with Ad and going on rotation, fuck, I’d do it all. Taking a second to ground myself, I finally stood from the chair that’d been holding me n’ my emotional weight for the last few minutes. The shakes had stopped, my hands still, calm, in the wake of my new directive. “You got it. I’ll even see if Fritz can get me some bedazzled combat pants or something in leopard print. No reason I can’t look fabulous while totally fucking shit up.” And that, ladies and gents, was about the only way I knew how to transition from ‘emotional shitstorm’ to ‘I got this shit down’. And Creator, Scribe, whoever willing, Wrath would go along with that. “If you don’t need anythin else from me, I’m gonna go drink something strong. Unless you wanna join me?” Wrath: Thank the Scribe for small favors I can’t see /that/ shit. [Now there was the Lassiter that annoyed the fuck out of me on a daily. Chuckling low and nodding once, I stood full height. It felt a little less sour in here with the male’s sense of humor picking up a little, even if I knew he was still nursing both his outer and inner wounds, and would be for a long while. Salt was eternal.] You know what, I think I would like a drink. I’ve had a lot of shit to deal with in the last 24 hours and I’m fucking taking a royal break. But we’re taking one more male with us. [Reaching back and feeling for the phone on my desk, I picked up the receiver and spoke not two words before the door to my office opened. George’s yip and jingle of collar told me the golden-haired four-legged male was as happy as fuck to see me as I was to hear him. The instant the dog brushed against my leg, I reached down and ruffled his ears lovingly and murmured a few sentiments to the animal. His returning licks and whines told me plenty. “Don’t make me leave you again! I don't’ like it!!!” Straightening back up and taking George's harness, I nodded to Lass.] Let’s get that drink, yeah? #TheChat #BondedBrothers

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snowleopard59 · 6 years

Text

Dostoevsky Joins Gamblers Anonymous “Tough night,” the older man said to the younger man sleeping in the bus station waiting room. “Why’d you wake me up?” “Cops will be comin’ thru soon, they won’t be so polite if you don’t have a bus ticket. And I know you don’t have a bus ticket.” “Screw it, let them arrest me at least I’ll have a place to sleep for the night.” “If they bring you in you won’t be doing any sleeping in the Las Vegas city jail tonight partner.” “Look mister I can tell a gay pick up when I see one and I’m not interested alright?” “Oh he’s not gay,” a woman suddenly showed up and said. “And she ought to know,” the older man said. “What do you guys want then?” “We need you to play a few hands of blackjack for us,” the woman said, sitting down beside the young man, then continuing, “we’ll give you a $1,000 to start. If you lose it all we walk away friends, if you win anything over the $1,000 it’s yours to keep. Interested?” “You’re kidding, right? Why would you do that?” “Let’s get out of the bus station and we’ll explain,” the older man said just as the cops came walking through, poking sleeping people with nightsticks and telling them to move on if they didn’t have a ticket. They went to the bar at the Hotel Fremont and introduced themselves as Sheldon and Lauren. The young man explained he had taken the bus from Boston only three days ago and was now flat broke waiting for his mother to wire money via Western Union tomorrow to get home. “What were you thinking?” Sheldon asked, then without waiting for an answer said “first off what are you drinking?” Just a Coke, I don’t drink. “Oh that’s perfect,” Lauren said, “I hope you don’t start.” Sheldon grimaced but did not expand on the subject, instead going back to, “what were you thinking, coming to Las Vegas without a plan?” “I had a plan, I just couldn’t stick to it,” Derek, the young man’s name, said, “I would win enough by counting cards, just enough, to cover my daily living expenses, rent, food, and spend the rest of the time writing.” Sheldon sipped his drink thoughtfully, “let me guess you started winning right away and decided to keep playing to win more? And then you started losing and kept playing to get even?” Derek nodded. “I mean,” Sheldon continued, “what’s the point of being within walking distance of so much gambling opportunity and not taking advantage of it? Write? Sit in a room by yourself and write while all this,” and he waved his arm in a semi-circle, “is going on around you just outside your door? Hercules himself would not be up to that labor to just win living expenses and stop for the day and go write.” “Oh Sheldon,” Lauren interrupted, “Derek, maybe if you won living expenses for the day and then drove out of town for an hour or so into the desert or mountains and wrote there, did you think of that?” “Yeah,” Sheldon nodded, “that would be the way to do it. Get your $100 a day or whatever and then get out and don’t come back for at least 24 hours or more if you can stand it, then drive in like you’re going into battle, get your $100 and get out again. But if you’re a compulsive gambler/addict you couldn’t do it. And I can see you are an addict.” “I am not!” Derek angrily retorted. “You were sleeping in the bus station without a dime to your name. The task of winning just enough one day at a time would require someone who did not accept the basic premise of gambling.” “Here we go,” Lauren said, “if you want the opportunity to play with that $1k there’s going to be a lecture. Still interested?” “I would like to win enough to get a hotel room to sleep in, yes, sure I’ll listen.” “All these people you see gambling all around us accept that when you gamble you might win but you might lose, you agree?” Derek nodded. “So everyone wants to win of course but they can never eliminate the specter of losing from their consciousness, and so of course, more people lose more often than not.” Derek rolled his eyes as if to say duh. And then said, “Duh.” “But Lauren and I have devised a system whereby we can never lose. But it only works if we can teach it to people and not very many want to learn believe it or not. We’re hoping you will.” Derek had by now fallen in love with Lauren. She looked just like Lauren Hutton the super model from the seventies. Were they married, Lauren and this Sheldon guy Derek was still not convinced was not gay? There were no rings in evidence. What was there to lose? “How do we start?” Derek asked. “Simple- find a table that has a dealer you think you know,” Lauren said and Derek continue to melt inside. What was it about her? That she was older? He heard her continue to speak through a scratchy old-time radio broadcast, “of course we know you don’t know any of the dealers here – in this life- but you know them all from past lives. Do you believe in reincarnation? Millions of people on earth do you know.” “Derek, are you alright?” Sheldon asked. “Maybe I should have a drink,” he answered, “Sangria.” “Sangria? Sure, ok, a Sangria for our young friend please.” Derek downed it in three or four swallows. The three of them sat there silently for about a minute and then Derek burst out in a laugh, A laugh that had been held back from many past lives no doubt. “Let’s play some blackjack,” he said. Within thirty minutes he’d turned their $1,000 into $10,000. “I feel like it’s not me playing,” he said. Sheldon had disappeared, Lauren sat beside him but the attractive female dealer had successfully shifted his attention as the new love interest in his life. “I think we might get married and settle down,” he said to her. She smiled wearily and replied in a British accent, “we’ve done that love, already, you know, 18th century Ireland?” And he knew she was right as the cards continued to fall his way. Lauren gave him a knowing glance. “The money doesn’t matter, right?” he said, “I’m not excited that I just got blackjack with $500 in chips sitting on the table. That’s crazy.” The pit boss, a classic mob guy, came over and brusquely dismissed Linda, the British dealer then, saying, “I’ll say it is. Let’s see how it goes when I’m the dealer.” “Wait,” Derek said, as the man shuffled the eight decks, “I know you too. Your burned us out of our farm in Ireland. I don’t think I should stay at this table.” “Good idea, get lost punk.” “Lauren what happened?” Sheldon asked, showing up from out of nowhere. “Derek learned the system. Just give us back our $1000 and tell us what you’ll do now with the rest.” The sound and the light of the casino swirled in Derek’s head and vision as he cupped the $9,000 in chips in his left hand. It wasn’t the Sangria, he knew, he wasn’t drunk, in fact he had never felt so alert. Had he chosen, he could have read the life story he shared with every person there at that moment gambling. “We’re gambling, we’re all gambling, but we’re pretending we can lose. I know I can put this $9,000 on one number on roulette and that number will come up at 36 to 1 or something but they will likely then ban me from playing. But that wouldn’t matter either. I know every number that will come up, I don’t know how but I do, there’s no chance there’s no risk. What’s the point of pretending? If I make millions gambling it will cut me off from getting to know the people I need to get to know. It will reinforce the lie that there is a duality to be dealt with. Thank you, Sheldon, thank you Lauren, I’m going to get a really nice room have a really good breakfast and fly home first class tomorrow. I don’t want to gamble, I don’t need to gamble to pay my living expenses so I can write, I can pay my living expenses by writing, and by remembering.” “Do you remember us now?” Lauren asked. Derek smiled, “I sure do, now that you mention it,” and he counted out $3000 in chips, and handed it to her, “That ought to settle the debt, right? Sorry I almost forgot. But I would have remembered on the plane and mailed it to you. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of each other again.” “Oh yeah,” Sheldon said, “you’re a quick study but there is so much to study. Go get started on that first book.”

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ohwowbabee · 6 years

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childrencryinncoffee-blog · 7 years

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When Baby is Akin to Sin…We’re Not Educated in Responding to This

“Motherhood is quite beautiful, but the beautiful quiet in motherhood is where the pain tests you the most.”

I wrote this this morning, as a status on my blog’s Facebook page.

I’ve never had such a beautiful sentence makes such sense for me. I get surprised by my mind sometimes, when throughout all the chaos and racing thoughts, a profound thought just hits me, stops me and I thoroughly feel it throughout my whole body.

I’ve been thinking about my pregnancy, labour and delivery with Ivy a lot lately. She’s nearly 3 months old and I still haven’t done anything about my trauma I experienced. This pregnancy was far from easy. It was a shock and surprise pregnancy. It was a result of both failed birth control (once again) and a failed Plan B over-the-counter medication. I was 31, already a mother to 4 kids, struggling to find my footing, having my most recent baby nearly 4 years before. And yet, I fully accepted the double blue lines on the test when I look at the stick 3 minutes after pissing on it.

I found out early, as I am very attuned to my body; I have to be, as birth control failure was the result of all my other children. My oldest was the failure of the Low-Dose Pill I was put on for hormone regulation thanks to Endometriosis. My second child was the result of a failed Depo-shot therapy. My third child was with the NuVa Ring. My 4th child was with the Mirena IUD, not even 7 months after insertion. This is why I was, and am, still adamant to having (at least) a partial Hysterectomy. Besides the Endo, the PCOS and the Fibroids that make my months and periods a living hell. I’m the lucky one who bleeds through both a Super+ sized tampon AND an overnight sized pad in less than 2 hours, sometimes less than an hour. I’ve learned to NEVER have any light colored pants, let alone white panties.

I was not in a good place, both figuratively and literally, when I found out I was expecting number 5. My excitement of having a new baby quickly wore off when I realized just how shitty our situation was. We live in a 4 bedroom rental, with a shit-head as a “landlord”. It’s me, my husband, our 4 kids and at the time; my little sister, her two daughters, my mother and little brother all living with us–on Derrick’s paycheck. And even though, at the time, Derrick was bringing in around $1000-$1200 per week, we were struggling and now we were adding another little person to the party. I began to rapid cycle, and I’m not normally a rapid-cycler, but my hormones were so out of whack, I couldn’t keep up mentally.

I don’t know what’s worse; actually physically throwing up with morning sickness during the first trimester early on, OR always on the verge of throwing up and gagging at EVERYTHING. I know what was worse–the fact that smoking a cigarette was the only thing that stopped the nausea. Mind you, this nausea and smoking was BEFORE I took the test and I assumed I just ate something bad, so I continued smoking–until I took the test and then, I’ll be honest, that morning, after I took the test and it was positive, Derrick was at work and I didn’t tell anyone and I continued to smoke the rest of that day. Part of me registered there was a baby in there, but another part of me didn’t want to believe it and the smoking kept the vomit at bay, for at least a little while.

By September, I was such a psychotic, hormonal, raving bitch, that I chased EVERYONE away. My sister and her kids went back to her husband and son in Las Vegas, my brother found an apartment, and my mother and her boyfriend moved in with my grandparents. But then it was just me. Pregnant, sad, lonely AF, angry me, with 4 kids and a husband who worked 6, sometimes 7 days a week, just so we could stay afloat.

I was angry. I was lonely. I was sad. I was a wreck. I was suicidal.

I had no support.

At least I thought I had no support. I never reached out to my mom because our relationship had been turbulent the last month or so she was at my house. I was pissed off at my little sister, because she moved out and left us with a $660 electric bill and hasn’t sent back one red cent to pay us back for living here, rent free, eating, using our wifi and electricity, Netflix account, Hulu account and flat screens, hulling up on our couch for months. It even caused a huge rift between me and Derrick, exacerbating my depression, when he’d throw it in my face, that’d we would have already been in a much better place for this baby, had I NOT been the one to “take in all the strays” of the family and offer OUR roof over their heads. And now, now I get his frustration.

During the lowest part of my Antepartum Depression I wrote a suicide note…an email…to Derrick while he was at work.

Probably not the smartest thing to do when your husband is hundreds of miles away, navigating a huge truck on the hellish Los Angeles freeways.

I was at a breaking point. Seriously, no one can TRULY understand just how lonely depression can make you, unless you’ve lived it. I saw no point in living. I wasn’t getting along with my mom, my sister, my brothers didn’t understand so they kept their distance and that distance was FELT and it hurt, my kids were constantly fighting, arguing and not listening to me, my grandparents are from another generation so they didn’t comprehend boundaries and depression so they were no help. I had (have) no friends. And I completely stopped going to therapy, group and visiting my Psychiatrist. I gave up.

I found my (original) OB/GYN August 1 and had my first visit on August 10th. I chose him because my sister-in-law was pregnant too and he was her doctor and I went to her first appointment with her and I liked him (and the female doctor with him, and here I thought I’d be getting them as a team too. Boy was I wrong). My first appointment was just quick formalities and Derrick was there. Blood pressure reading, weight, height, blood work and numerous forms to fill out about me and my previous pregnancies, miscarriages, deliveries, etc. I was automatically deemed “high risk” and was sent to a second doctor because I was an “older” mother with numerous health issues; overweight, hypertension, fibroids, Endo, PCOS, progesterone allergy, asthma…and mental health “issues”. Not to mention Derrick’s heart condition and family history of cancer.

I saw this OB a total of 3 times. The first meeting mentioned above. A second appointment in September to go over everything from August. And one more time in early October, where I poured my heart out to him, expressing my concern and worry about my depression; how I’d become recluse and stopped therapy, group and seeing my psychiatrist BUT I was STILL continuing my Latuda, secretly praying this would help with my depression. But my OB demanded, to Derrick (he didn’t even acknowledge me laying on the examination bed, tears streaming) that I stop my psychiatric medications because I wasn’t “depressed” I was just “sad” and I didn’t need medications for that. He told Derrick that I was “choosing” to be sad and that if I chose to be happy, I’d be happy.

I was in utter disbelief and my depression hit tenfold what it was before.

I cancelled my 26th week appointment with him.

The nurses called numerous times and left voicemails demanding I call and reschedule immediately or he’d give my place to another mother.

I laid in bed, crying, listening to the voicemails, not ready to reschedule yet, deleting the voicemails, turning over and crying myself to sleep. Over and over again, for days.

My 28th week I received a certified letter in the mail, from my OB. He had dropped me as a patient.

I spent my 28th and 29th week in bed.

Around the end of my 29th week, I fell. I ended up in the hospital. I told the head nurse, who, luckily, was MY nurse, that I didn’t have an OB and she took time out of her busy schedule to hand-write a list of high-risk OB’s from here to Corona to Hemet to San Bernardino, who took my insurance and I cried happy tears when I hugged her and thanked her for looking out for me.

I spent the following Monday calling every name on that list. No takers. I called my insurance company and asked them for a list. I called everyone on their list. No takers. I Googled every OB and called EVERY single OB within 25 miles in each direction; in ALL counties within the Inland Empire. And still, not one taker.

No one wanted me as a patient, who was an “older” patient, at 30 weeks already AND high-risk. I was too much of a liability.

My depression kicked my ass even harder and this time, I had guilt added to it because I blamed myself for my original OB dropping me as a patient, because, maybe, maybe he was right. Maybe I was CHOOSING to be depressed. And now, here I was 33 weeks along with a baby and I had no idea what was happening with her. That was the only solace I had to hold on to–I found out around 30 weeks she was a she, because I had to pay out of pocket, to go to one of those 4D Ultrasound techs, because I HAD to make sure she was still alive. Mind you, I couldn’t careless if I died, but I wanted to make sure the baby was okay.

And when I had that ultrasound done, even though it wasn’t a medical one, I was ECSTATIC when I saw her up on that projector screen; all her fingers, all her toes, long limbs, fully developed lungs and a hummingbird heart that was fluttering about. I had something to hold on to. I wasn’t just getting fat and throwing up for the hell of it, there was a little person in there.

Early March I slipped and fell again, landing on the side of my belly and really hurting my wrist and knee. I went back to the hospital and that’s where I met my attending OB. She ordered ALL the tests I missed during my pregnancy and I had ultrasounds and everything and she sat there and listened to my cries and how I lost my original OB and she patted my hand and said those magical words: “You’re my patient now.”

I was (what I assumed to be) 36, nearly 37 weeks when I walked into her office for my first appointment. I didn’t even last 5 minutes. She told me that I needed to head to the hospital; my liver was failing to sustain me and the baby because my blood pressure was way too high and I looked like hell.

I didn’t think I’d be having a baby, I thought I was only going to the hospital to be monitored, medicated and sent home on bed rest until her (what I assumed to be) EDD of April 5th, 2017.

Nope. I was stuck to a bed. I WAS medicated. With 6 different kinds of medication; to lower my blood pressure, to hydrate me, to replenish her amnio fluid, to thin my cervix and kick start labour. I was having a baby, that day, at 37 weeks. I freaked. I was stuck in bed for 3 days. I had a catheter, of which I HATE, and that totally played into my PTSD too because I do not like inanimate objects forced into my neither region, NOR do I like that un-numbed PAIN included–it’s fucking traumatic and I’m hella sensitive down there, after having my area burned with a cigarette when I was 9.

SO I was forced into labor early and I laboured for 3 whole days before I started pushing and it was just before my epidural, that my doctor informed me that I was truly more around 34 weeks and 5 or 6 days along in my pregnancy–so I began to freak the fuck out again.

Once my epidural kicked in, it kicked in a little too well and my stats nearly flat-lined. I remember becoming super lethargic, sleepy and weak. My blood pressure was what Derrick’s was when he was dying of kidney failure with the Rhabdomyolisis. My brain was freaking out, but my body was barely moving. My eyes were open and I was able to see everything happening. It went from me in the bed, Derrick to my right, the Anesthesiologist at the foot of my bed, and the nurse to my left overlooking my vitals…to the room becoming over-crowded with at least 6, 7, or 8 nurses, the Anesthesiologist, his supervisor, the hospital’s head officials and a couple other people who introduced themselves, but I was so out of it. The last thing I remember saying to Derrick before I blacked out was “I don’t wanna die.”

I woke up 3 hours later. My epidural had completely worn off and holy-fucking-hell did I FEEL everything. My body wasn’t ready. My brain wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready. But they were making this baby come. I cervix was being checked, with the catheter still inside me, every 5 minutes and I was in PAIN. I was already freaking out with the trauma at this point, I couldn’t stop crying. And then my rapes (yes rapeS) came flooding back into my mind because THE sole male nurse just walked in and announced he was going to check my cervix for dilation and I FREAKED LOUDLY, but I couldn’t get it out, I couldn’t verbalize WHY I was freaking out, I felt 9 years old all over again. I couldn’t fight back. I just laid there, gripping painfully to the bed’s arm rests, sobbing and screaming “No, no no no no no no” over and over again, looking at Derrick to save me from this and I screamed when the man’s hands went inside me, but I couldn’t respond to Derrick when he asked me what was wrong.

How does one lay there, who’s body is TRYING it’s damnedest to birth a baby, while your brain is SCREAMING at you to make it stop, while visions of my rapists’ play through my mind over and over and over again; being pinned down, in pain, searing pain, while he forces his huge hands deep inside me and I can’t kick, I can’t fight, I have to literally lay there and take it because there’s a baby in the balance.

And it was so hard to bond with her once she came out, because this male nurse was still inside my delivery room and I’m sitting there, numb, but shaking and all I see and hear is Leon’s, Joey’s and Eli’s voices. All I FEEL is their hands on me. And I’m trying so hard to find the joy in the moment because my daughter was there, she was my reward for not giving up, when all I wanted to do was give up and I wasted my Golden Hour in the L&D room.

And my husband is gunna read this.

And he, even to this day, has no idea that this was the narrative that was playing in my head that day. The amount of panic attacks I was having wasn’t because I was birthing a child. It was because the whole time I was relating the pain and trauma to the trauma I experienced as a child and young teenager.

And it’s not like I look at Ivy and think about the trauma and rape every single time–but there are times, that my brain is a complete and utter asshole and says, Hey you know what, birthing Ivy was like being molested and raped, wasn’t it, and it fucks me over for the day and I have trouble holding onto her, feeding her, bonding with her and all I want to do is run away, drink or smoke an entire pack of cigarettes.

But how do I say this to my husband? “Here, take your daughter, she’s exacerbating my PTSD and if I don’t numb myself RIGHT NOW I’m gunna freak out and lord knows that outcome”?

We don’t talk about my triggers much, mostly because I feel they’re MY responsibility and that’s what I have a psychiatrist and therapist for. But there are times I wish I could articulate it in my brain, well enough, to articulate it to my husband, that when I need breaks of overwhelment from the baby, isn’t BECAUSE of the baby all the time, it’s because my brain is a motherfucker and I’m dying inside and I need a fucking minute.

I desperately NEED postpartum support, but I am SO scared of reaching out for it, because how do you open up to a group of strangers and equate your labour and delivery to molestation and rape?

So I sit here, nearly 13 weeks postpartum and I still haven’t found my footing. I don’t have a tribe. And I am medicated again, but probably not as medicated as I should be…but I am determined to breastfeed my daughter.

But at what cost to me?

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