#literally any tag ugh

[vanana-r0tat3]

MISSING CAT - IMPORTANT FOR THOSE IN UPSTATE NEW YORK !!

My boyfriend's been missing since Friday Dec 1st, at around 11am EST !! reiterating- He was last seen near Woodrow Wilson Houses NY, hes a neutered 1 year old male phone contact is 518-530-7260 if you are in/near this area please keep a look out! if youre not please share this around

Please spread this around if you can!! if you see him please just be careful not to spook him, hes friendly but might run or bite if he feels threatened we are desperate to get him back so any reach helps :( i dont know how well these posts do on tumblr but im giving it a go anyway

#missing cat #missing cat ny #lost cat #lost cat upstate new york #upstate new york #emotional support animal #missing pet #lost pet #literally any tag ugh #missing #new york

[trans-androgyne]

It feels like the nature of existing as an autistic transmasc is being constantly misunderstood to an extreme :/ It feels as though people all my life have been telling me how I’m feeling, what I really meant when I said that, how I should have reacted; am I sure I’m not making it up? To get attention? To feel special?

It’s a fun mix of misogyny & ableism, both of which tend to tie in with transandrophobia (transmascphobia? isomisogyny? anti-transmasculinity? whatever words we’re allowed to use today. “Did you hear how many times you said ‘like’ in that sentence?”). But just overall I feel like everyone looks through me all the time & tries to tell me about my own life. And it used to work.

#transandrophobia #transmasc #autism tag #mine #it’s part of why I still can’t help but overexplain myself all the time #I feel like I can never be believed about a single experience unless I have the receipts #even if the experience is like. an emotion. or a belief. ugh #people used to make fun of me for texting in paragraphs. but if I didn’t I would be in trouble for whatever they read in between the lines #(of a statement that literally did not have any lines to read between) #also my parents more impactfully but that’s obv LOL #ableism #vent

[everendbsart]

remembers I have an art tumblr every 2 months

#and i drew this so long ago too! #i draw so much but i never think to post any of it...maybe one day i will get into the habit... #sidenote literally the first time i've ever used that zipper csp brush though i've had it for probably over a year now #bruabba #bruno bucciarati #leone abbacchio #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #golden wind #ANYWAY this is just a stupid little thing - i was thinking about bucciarati probably usually working late into the night #and maybe he doesn't want to wake anyone up or maybe he's just too tired or lazy to use the doors to get to abbacchios room #ugh i'm tag rambling #catch me tag rambling #youre so queuete #my art tag 💘

[wifegideonnav]

also im literally not starting discourse i don’t care but jesus christ the way that half the aftg fans are acting in the notes of that poll is why i don’t engage with most of the fandom lmao. stop fucking woobifying neil it’s 2024 and it’s WEIRD. he’s not your uwu sunshine bean please for the love of god either engage with the actual character or make an oc to coo over.

#anyway most of you are not aftg fans and don’t care #but ftr the character is. a supremely fucked up violent impulsive blunt rude and callous individual #thats not all of him obviously (he’s also loyal brave caring protective and a strong leader/uniting force) #but he is not and never has been soft or cute or bubbly or whiny or any of the other traits that everyone in 2016 assigned to ‘’’bottoms’’’ #(he’s literally not even a bottom but that doesn’t even matter) #ugh it’s just so frustrating to see people flatten him into their precious cinnamon roll when like. his actual character is so nuanced #and obv some tags/comments on a poll aren’t that deep but it’s just so indicative of a wider problem and it’s 2 am and im feeling v annoyed #so yeah. whatever. just wanted to get this off my chest. #anyway read aftg it’s nothing like what the fandom makes it out to be lol #it’s problematic in its own unique ways #op

[unicornsaures]

every1 out here having seasonal depression in the winter like hot girls obv have seasonal depression in march-april-may

#literally what the fuck too #the weather is always perfect #and i just ROT #personal #i guess? #ughh dont be surprised if theres a lack of chapters #motivation at an all time LOW #no fucking wonder i created the nonhuman au #puttin JL thru it! #(projecting) #ugh ranting in the tags agaib #there may be an uptick in nonhuman au(s)? #any nonhuman tragedy depiction of JL is my belived #i want the bitxh to have WINGS #but alas #i already finalized elf!laurens #maybe ill do another kinda creature thing idk #idk what i would do for it though #im already attached to elf!laurens #my lil emotional punching bag #putting him thru the horrors(giving him my problems becausdr FUCK that guy) #no jk i cry whenever i see JL angst :3 #why the fuck does he die literally rvey time i write about him #is this like a coincidence or am i just staying historically accurate #i dunno #im just a girl! #if i gotta suffer so does Laurens i dont make the rules

[delphilos]

actually is my carrd enough for ppl to want to send prompts or what

#ooc. #bc i am too tired to go to b&n only for . 1hr since i haven’t gone to the gym yet #ugh work killed me tbh i was expecting to get off early #but if it is…. someone lmk and ill share prompts (i wanna write literally so bad) #for ref. if ur reading these tags. my highest muses are: k.atniss & i.nej & g.ideon/h.arrowhark #feeling my lady muses lately hmmmmmm #but yea!!! also any of my ocs!! which have available info upon request since the carrd ain’t been updated yet! #really would also like to write my bg3 oc noquar (he isn’t up on the carrd but i promise he’s cool)

[t4tdanvis]

every time i meet a laurance stan theres like a 15% chance theyll like gene, 25% chance theyll just go "eh ok", and a 60% chance theyll go "hey u really like this character right? and u dont want people hating on ur comfort character right to ur face right? here have a 20 paragraph essay i typed up on how much i hate him, including details like how i portray him as an abuser and a rapist! u dont need to thank me :)"

#❄.txt #me: (talking about how much i love gene and talking about how hes my silly little comfort blorbo) #the shittiest and meanest person ever about to send me into a four hour long panic attack by ranting abt how much they hate him: hey #its like HOLY FUCK I DONT CARE IF U HATE HIM!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! #IS IT NOT COMMON SENSE TO JUST. NOT FUCKING DO SHIT LIKE THAT #like im literally just talking about a character i like!!!! this is not an invitation to go 'oh yeah i fucking hate him! wanna hear me tell #u about how much i hate him? it isnt optional btw im going to whether u want me to or not' #i literally cannot make this any clearer unless i straight up slap a dni banner type thing onto every fucking post and message i make #like i dont like laurance and i often portray him as an asshole but i dont jump into every laurance-centered conversation i see just to tal #about how much i hate him!!! that is a SHITTY THING TO DO!!!!! #i genuinely do not fucking care if gene is ur number 1 most hated character. just dont talk about it directly to me??? go find someone #else to talk about that to???? it isnt that fucking hard to not be an asshole UGH #tw abuse #tw abuse mention #tw rape #tw rape mention #ask to tag

[wildflowercryptid]

ngl i have so many thoughts about penelope sitting in the back of my mind, she's such an interesting character...

#i'm gonna try to avoid using penny when talking about her just so i don't confuse my pokemon moots ;0; #but yeah... just the imagery surrounding her has got me pondering #like the fact that the room she spends most of her time in at tangle tower is quite literally a gilded cage #or that she's wearing an outfit that's strikingly similar to her mother's if not the same exact outfit... #i also can't stop thinking about how i feel like she doesn't even have any true ill will towards anyone currently living at tangle tower #even flora (the character you could expect her to dislike based on her motivations) is someone she has some care for... #ALSO HER FUCKING REACTION WHEN YOU SUGGEST HER MOTIVATION WAS LONELINESS UGH!!!! #just.... fuck dude #i do hope we get to see her again #random idea i've thought about too is harrow getting involved in tracking down penny and it ending w/ a face-off between the two #i think that'd be cool... #wait shit my brain is making a connection with another idea i had hold on #*rubs my gay lil hands together* hmm 😈 #sorry that my rambling's always relegated to the tags it's easier to parse my thoughts in short bursts like that #tangle tower #mj.txt #tangle tower spoilers

[virmillion]

“i’m normal i’m normal” <- liar. that man made a spreadsheet of the splatoon 3 weapons and how much he uses each

#labhrambles #ok2rb #it SUCKS bc im SO amped abt it #like ive got the main sheet for everything - one row across goes: class. weapon. sub. special. star freshness. freshness points. #next freshness checkpoint. distance to that checkpoint. bar graph representing that distance as a percentage #range as a number. range as a chart. role. weight. secondary abilities (eg impact and charge speed) as a number. secondary as a bar chart. #tertiary (eg handling and mobility) as a number. tertiary as a chart #for EVERY WEAPON in the game (all are at least at 1 star freshness so i break even on shelldon licenses #and THEN ive got a sheet for all my fancy formulas like the total number of freshness points in each main class #and then an average for each class based on that number over the number of weapons there are in the class #and same shit for all the subs and specials #and then some based on points per each weight and points per range bracket (0-20 21-30 … 91-100) #and ALL of that gets chucked into nice little donut charts that are SO clean to look at #AAAAAND i have a DUPLICATE of the formula sheet where its the same formulae but minus any weapons that have five stars #bc thats a MAJOR skew to the results. i LITERALLY am uncounting outliers its SO COOL #ugh. anyway remember when i said at the beginning of my tags that it sucks? #well i said that bc i was showing it to my friend and they went ‘hey uh. i got some news for you. neurotypicals dont do that’ #shockedpikachu.jpg #and that was BEFORE the ‘no 5s’ chart and BEFORE the range and weight stuff #that was when i ONLY looked at the general and average points for each class sub and special #so! the fact that i desperately want to talk MORE about it is. rather damning i think #anyway if you read this far PLEASE tell me if ur interested bc i would LOVE to talk more abt this

[piningprecussionist]

hey hi uh would you be able to check if y'all have The Land Before Time IV back in stock yet?

Sure thing- one moment.

*Kim turns to the monitor and pulls the keyboard a little closer to herself before she starts typing away. After a minute, she slides it back to it's original spot and turns back to the customer.*

It looks like we do, yeah. It should be in our Kids and Family section- let me know if you need help finding it.

#pine.txt #asks #anon #rp #kim pine #sp comic #spvtwtg #spto #spvtw #not in standard continuity #(ooc: not changing my answer but i DID just realize i totally could have answered this like it was from the time it was still missing...) #(ooc: could have been funny maybe idk. and now neither will any of you /j) #ooc: i need everyone to know that i just made an insanely intense effort to see if there was a canon section of no-account that i could use #+here. #ooc: i did not. literally the only labeled bin in the comics is ''canadian🍁“ and there are a couple of signs in spto i couldn't make out + #+but the ones i could (which was most of them) didn't seem applicable #ooc: so i am. giving them a kids & family section. or bin- at least #((ooc: some of the spto section/bin names: anime- science saru- directors- discount [10%? memory bad]- action- romance)) #((ooc: there are more but. again. memory bad. and also they weren't what i was looking for so i wasn't trying to remember tbh)) #((ooc: i used the references we were given that i have in my official art tag and also went frame by frame through a clip of the #((ooc: fuck i hit enter. l. Anyway i was going through an unfinished clip of rocie and ramona's fight. and also all the kim clips that take #+ place there.)) #ooc: also! just a fun little thought i wanted to throw out there. if any scotts wanted to rp what that movie return might bave looked like+ #+that could be funny lol #roxie*** and ramona fight #HAVE*** looked like. ugh

[nyxi-pixie]

the way that mike is Known to be a loudmouth annoying little shit all the time, like max literally jokes abt him never shutting the fuck up in s3, but hes super calm and quiet around will.

like with everyone else, hes Loud; he commands attention to Himself. but when he talks to will he gets this whole like introspective vibe like hes actually Thinking for once instead of just Saying. (this goes away when theyre arguing ofc and then he thinks abt what hes saying somehow even Less than usual but yk) and they just Understand each other and it just AHJkdhjaksFDJHSK !?!?!?!?!?

#i have SO many thoughts about the way mike interacts with will compared to Literally Any Other Character #but its mostly just my brain going AGJSDHJKFDAHJKJAKSLHFJDSHAJFHJAKSHFJK #very loudly #but he just AGH hes so much more receptive to will and ugh their lil heart to hearts are always so nice to watch #bc they communicate so well like 75% of the time #the last 25% is when mikes being an idiot and will refuses to open up through anything except indecipherable code #omg thats why he did his project on alan turing its not just bc he was gay its bc will has a natural affinity for code breaking #bc of how often he talks in it :D #ugh i love tags i just let my brain go absolutely batshit and go off topic but anyway #byler #mike wheeler is gay

[theflyingfeeling]

current level of boredom while being mildly poorly (=not poorly enough to just lie down doing nothing but poorly enough to not have the energy to do anything thought-consuming): tagging all my shippy asks/posts ✨💅

ps. if anyone knows how to use the mass post editor to actually mass-edit tags in a convenient way I'd appreciate the help 🙏 like, idk if it's even possible to find all the posts I have tagged as x and edit the tags of all those posts at once? 🤔 so far I only know you can find tagged posts on your own blog by adding /tagged/x at the end of your url and then editing the tags manually one post at a time 🥲

#all these years on the hellsite and i still haven't figured out how to use the mass post editor for anything useful 💀 #anywayyy literally no one cares but the tags i've been using so far are: #olliallu ollixalluxjoel joonasxniko joelxolli joonasxolli #i also have previously tagged some random posts as joeleksi #yes it's very inconsistent but i had already tagged posts as olliallu but then i realised joonasniko looks kinda dumb 😪 #so joonasxniko it is i guess 😐 funnily enough olliallu looks alright?? but i kinda also want to start using ollixallu from now on #because now it just bothers me so much that one of them is diffferent in style 😭😂😭 #i think i've tagged shippy posts with them as joonas/niko before but i'm gonna have to change that 😑 #since the / does not work that well in tagging ugh #i just started so i've only managed to tag about a fraction of the asks 💀 #man i wish i had had a proper tagging system for asks from the beginning #i never saw the point and idk if there's any point to tagging them afterwards either but ehh i can't write fic so what else should i do #also idk how much sense any of those posts make ''out of context'' but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe at some point this might come in handy #(also also yes i can't write fic i don't have the energy to concentrate and anyway i'll probably need to start it all over again 😩)

[orchideae]

A few tiny things off top of my head that Yelan's SQ that ended up staring me right in the face, even if they oversold some of them a little bit at times (or done a little oddly)— but it's all about nuance, nuance.:

— Tianshu. She wasn't joking about being interested in the position of the Qixing's Tianshu, Uncle Tian didn't just take her at her word, he actually simply read her well. Regardless of whether she denies it by the end of the SQ, it is a position that someone with a mind like Yelan's is perfect for, and she knows that. The SQ does a decent job of showing that she understands multiple facets of intelligence (planning ahead and oversharing vs. adapting and divulging information only when the situation calls for it), she understands the difference of when people are driven by their emotions or their logic (and how to adapt to both), she knows how to socially play right into people's hands in ways that appeals to them; all in all, she's perfect for a position that revolves around information and people. Perfect. The only problem is that it takes her out of the field, and being in there is exactly what she enjoys the most. Her entire character plays around the defiance of boundaries, so why would she willingly place herself within such constraints? Besides, there is also the question of the Chasm. It is my firm belief that as dangerous as it is, and how monumental of a problem it's posed for Liyue in its history, she will never let that responsibility fall onto anyone else's shoulders. So in essence, to become Tianshu, she would have to restructure the entire position to be able to properly forego the bounds that Liyue Harbor would pose on her and leaving, which just like she is vulnerable to now, puts her at risk of capture or death. That is too high a risk for someone that would fill such a monumental position. So was Uncle Tian wrong for reminding her of the 'joke' that she made? No, for it was never a joke— it is simply not something she wants to turn into a feasible option. In other words, Uncle Tian is also very good at what he does. Good man.

— Identities. Here I go again, but this time to note: I'm not too big on how they depicted this bit in her SQ when we're going about the harbor's wharf. She fumbled a little too much at coming up with identities on the fly (and Paimon/Traveller gave her too much praise), or in better words: she hesitated too much. I understand that this may have been done to give her some flaws (or I'd have to account it to sub-par writing), but making something so baseline of her profession to hold a clear flaw isn't consistent with her character, her achievements nor her reputation. Numerous of Yelan's flaws lie in her personal life, they are pointed out in her character story, but they are minimal in her work. This isn't unrealistic, she's written to be an exceedingly rational and logical individual who thrives in her work, and it doesn't require to hold the same flaws as the other portion of her life to be well-written. Any way, I digress; another reason why I found this element of the SQ to be a bit inaccurate in terms of consistency: Yelan primarily operates within Liyue (Harbor), why would she be so careless with her identities and how she presents herself? Now of course I don't expect Hoyo to change her entire look simply for her SQ, but her first character story does seem to insinuate that she changes up her looks to match her identity— she frequents the same pharmacies without the pharmacists recognizing her. So realistically, I think we can deduce from this that, in all reality, she would have changed up how she appears at least a little: a coat, a hat, a change of hair. Someone she re-visits going 'Have I seen you before?' versus 'Ah, it's been a while since I've seen you!' are two vastly different things. On top of that, madam does not fumble— she actively shows in scenes that she is very patient, and we've seen her smile and take an extra few seconds before she speaks, that's how she handles 'hesitation', rather than being too hasty and speaking much too soon.

#[ mini study. ] that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. #[ i tag it with mini study but is it really a mini study? ] #[ at this point 'mini study' versus 'meta' is... are there multiple bullet points? yes? then it's a mini study. ] #[ a meta is on one single topic. >.> ] #[ or at least that's how i'm justifying it. ] #[ also can i just say that wriothesley's gameplay is everything i've wanted in a game for years? it's so engaging and active. ] #[ and it's so utterly rewarding. ] #[ especially when combining him with yelan's constant uptime of her ult? jesus. ] #[ and benny. ugh. bENNY YOU AMAZING HUMAN. ] #[ any way i digress aGAIN [my life story honestly] -- i'm in love with yelan and i have too muc to say. ] #[ i genuinely need to talk about how she functions in terms of identity creations. truly. ] #[ like even when she presents herself in fontaine to neuvillette and wriothesley-- they obviously know she's... ] #[ tied to liyue. tied to the qixing. but she won't divulge more than is necessary. literally there's no need to. ] #[ diplomacy isn't always about information. ]

[constantvariations]

Yknow, sometimes I wonder if the anti rwde crowd knows what Doylist Analysis even is

You have so many takes about how Adam was always an abuser because of this scene, or Ironwood was always evil because of that foreshadowing, or etc etc etc, but these people fail to consider what these things mean in the broader scope of narrative and authorial intent

What does Adam being an abusive partner bring to the themes of racism and methods of resistance, if any at all? Does Ironwood’s fall from grace challenge our protagonists in any meaningful way or is it a cheap scapegoat for the writers who still have no idea what to do with Salem?

Once you start dissecting the show, it's very easy to see the methods and ideology behind its creation. That's the beauty of badly written media - its tracks are much easier to follow and trace back to the roots

And the roots of this show just happen to be ill conceived at best and downright malicious at worst. It's not personal towards the writers or characters or whatever to notice these things, it's just... how it is

#rwde #i chose adam and ironwood as examples solely bc theyre currently being talked abt it the tag #but honestly that example list could have gone on forever #like wtf does jaune bring to the table that cant be offered by literally anyone else? #and at this point i do mean LITERALLY #id take a fucking sentient dustpan over his overhyped ass any day of the week #but its so obvious that many choices in rwby arent made for the good of the narrative or even for the rule of cool #its done bc the writers dont think beyond a first draft and never listen to any of the criticism they absolutely should #'oh the faunus plot is racist? uhhhh double down on it then hard left into domestic abuse to distract the white liberals' #'nora need her own arc? sure... make 90% of it a coma then have her distance herself from ren #'as tho she weren't the one shoving her tongue down his throat against his consent' #'oh bury your gays is bad? shit wish we'd confirmed that one dead guy as gay since he was so popular #'but this other popular guy people think is gay that we know we're gonna kill off... yeah let's gaybait him' #this got off topic real quick but its such a personal annoyance like??? how you gonna have my dream job and be fucking up this bad?????? #you aint even gotta be GOOD you just gotta be DECENT. bare fucking MINIMUM. motherfucking BASIC #UGH

[kenobihater]

the last remaining threads of my sanity are slipping through my fingers rn 🚬 😑

#i'm out of cigarettes i'm incredibly ill and i'm reconsidering my relationship to a certain fandom. #look i'm NOT saying i'm gonna stop the divorce proceedings but uh. fuck. i may have been re reading some of my older works and unfinished #fics and i MAY. i repeat MAY. have some tiny shred of interest posting about st*r w*rs again #motherfucker i'm SO hesitant to speak that into existence and will be absolutley APOPLECTIC if it happens bc i don't fucking WANNA like sw! #i divorced it! i took the kids (my ocs) & filed a restraining order & crossed state lines & broke all contact and yet! and fucking yet!!!! #i find myself in tags i havent visited in over two years on the archive like some beaten dog slinking back home to a shitty master #i honestly hate like. fucking ALL of the shit i've written from then that i reread and some of it was so bad i couldnt even bring myself to #click on it after reading the summary. like. UGH! i have a half baked fic idea i wrote a little for and i think it's more compelling than #any of the literal dogshit i posted back then so i MIGHT work on polishing that up and posting something that isn't actual garbage by my #current standards. all of this is still up in the air tho bc i dont know if the hyperfixation or even the bare minimum lvl of interest has #returned or if it's just fever induced delirium. i've been having INCREDIBLY fucked up bad horrible awful vivid dreams as of late so fever #induced brain fuckery isn't out of the question. sigh. i'm so mad abt this #even if i do regain some interest in the fandom i don't think i'll have any interest in new source material after the mando s2 finale & #tbo.bf sucking ass & the obi show being mid & everything with the ST. i plan on watching ando.r but after that? zero interest in anything #new from sw. so. if anyone still reading this and is getting excited abt me POSSIBLY MAYBE being interested in sw just know i still hate it #a bit and feel like i'm being dragged kicking and screaming back into this mess unwillingly. or it's due to a fever. god i need a smoke #len speaks #that's literally the longest tag rant i've ever gone on. fuck that's a BAD sign

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

honestly like. the more i take it apart and examine it, while going into it entirely is going to be A Post or Three of Its Own and will probably get its own thread: i think one of the reasons nine in canon upsets me so much is that i genuinely related to the version of him that made sense to me, when i tried to apply some continuity to his character from before his imprisonment vs after. he's actually the muse i wrote for the most prose for in this fandom, even more than five--which is saying something!--and he came to me pretty easily.

[longpost and Decidedly Harsh toward canon's depiction of him, but less ARGFMSKDKDKFK HATE than usual so much as 'man the awful way these people handled him was a waste.' believe it or not i'm actually pretty attached to him, but as the secret Better Version that lives in my head lmao]

the arc of his character could have been such a good one about how men and boys and the people around them are harmed by toxic masculinity, and examining the ways in which that's held up by other cis men, every other configuration of gender and AGAB, and both. he came through loud and clear to me as an example of a poorly socialized, abused, isolated homeschooler with very little life experience, who is throwing bits and pieces at the wall that he's cobbled together from the outside without understanding the experiences behind that kind of thing, to see what sticks. all this while having suppressed and sublimated his emotions so much that he doesn't actually recognize what he's feeling, and goes 'well, i guess this trauma reaction to killing people means i like killing people. let's go then!'

like... in canon, you can kind of see how the seeds of his trauma, and baseline personality, from before his capture might have gone septic in the process the way it does in canon. if he was already the kind of person who would spit that result out on the other side. the writers used his Acute Trauma as an excuse to go 'anyway his cêpan was a sexist dickhead under the guise of ~respecting women,~ and he got captured by pursuing a normal teenage crush and blames himself for it, and then he went through solitary for a year. so now he's a gleeful sexual predator who harasses john and thinks women are meat!'

and this becomes even more glaringly obvious when you set it next to how the aftereffects of his trauma are (not) depicted. this kid spent a year in solitary confinement--broken up by the intermission of mercy-killing his adopted dad after watching his torture--while not being fed enough and hurting himself on the forcefield on the regular. he's not going to immediately come out of that Ripped and an Incredible Polished Fighter; he's not going to come out of that a ~charming edgy debonair lovable asshole.~ this kid knows what the fuckin hat man looks like, dude. that's shit you come out of an emotional, physical, and psychological wreck, and not in a 'haha look how rude and boundary-pushing and violent and sleazy i am uwu' way.

he is barely going to be able to walk out of there on his own two feet. he is going to be hallucinating and not remember how to tell faces apart. he is going to freak out at anything like an enclosed space. he is going to be food-insecure. he is going to be constantly finding ways to self-harm when he feels at all out of control, and once again not in a 'haha i'm so quirky and edgy' way. he is going to have obsessive rituals and get stuck on repetitive thought patterns because you run out of shit to think about after a year with nothing to do but pushups, even before you add in the shiny new PTSD events to obsess over. which tend to take up all of your brain space even when you aren't isolated with them for long periods. he is going to be doing weird fucking shit after he gets out, bizarre and frightening shit that's not just 'being violent and a dick,' and other people will probably notice.

and all of this is before you factor in his backstory! (which, by the way, is not conducive to him coming out of his imprisonment an Unstoppable Highly Trained Killing Machine. he was taught how to actually fight opponents for Three Whole Ass Weeks before he got captured, and none of that was training against human-shaped opponents. i don't care how many pushups he does over how long, he still has had zero practice fighting Other People and that's immediately going to fuck him over in a fight. it's one thing to have him be dangerous because he makes up for lack of skill with being completely fucking berserk with zero regard for his own safety or anyone else's, but he's not going to be an unstoppable whirlwind of death. and you're not going to build muscle while you're being starved.)

and like. i could go on for a long time about how they fucked up his character to the point where seeing him onscreen anywhere outside his novella makes me instantly want to flip a table. but i think so much of what it comes down to--and i don't say this casually, i mean after laying out and examining all his scenes in the first series--is that he doesn't actually have an arc. he doesn't grow. the entire point of his character's existence is to be an awful person and never be held accountable, self-examine, or allowed to face any kind of real consequences for it.

it's genuinely fascinating to examine all the different methods they use to do this (which is for a whole post of its own), but he's not an exploration of culpability or responsibility--for past, current, and future actions--the way five's arc is. he's just a parade of all the abuse tactics and rhetoric the authors could think of, both direct and via enablement by people around him, to pour into one guy. nine is literally The Missing Stair: The Character.

contrast this with five getting nailed to the fuckin wall for things that are often, arguably, much less horrific or unhinged than what nine does. he's treated like a ~broken, irreparably insane monster~ by characters and narrative both. he's punished brutally and endlessly over and over and over and over no matter how much he tries to grow, or make amends, or even lay down and take everything that might be done to him as punishment because he Deserves It for, [checks notes] repeatedly having been groomed and manipulated for years. If You Can't Tell I am a Little Bitter

and it's not just other characters who suffer for it. the creators are SO invested in nine never being accountable, by himself or anyone else, that he is PUNISHED FOR IT when he makes even the slightest effort to unpack. when he has a moment of vulnerability during a breakdown over fucking up, he is restrained in exactly the same way as when he had to watch eight die. this so that he can have his self-blame literally beaten out of him to make him 'stop moping.' the writers don't care about his trauma, or being compassionate or fair in their portrayal of it, or letting him heal. the only thing they care about here is getting to write a Missing Stair as a good thing, and trying to get you, the reader, in on it by forcing you to like him.

anyway just. man. they did nine so fuckin dirty and their version of him brings down every other narrative around it. i know i rant about nine a lot but justice for my boy

#lorien legacies #LL number nine #LL number five #LL crit tag #the crit files #nine is a platter of sushi the writers put in the microwave and [horse staring out over the ocean meme] man #also if you fix this SO MUCH about his parallels and foils with five snap right into place and it is CHEF'S KISS UGH #also lifts up john's arc in the process to 'kid with some pretty ugly qualities buried under Nice Guy surface; who has to grow past them' #'and does' #instead of 'oh gross wtf' #dyn: lost boys #like frankly i feel like it's pretty shitty to both neglected/abused homeschoolers and survivors of solitary confinement #to go 'ya that's what made this guy a sadistic bullying bigoted creep uwu' #instead of you know. establishing the traits of /his/ that would be brought out by that #there's also just. so much to be said here about how in the process of giving nine a pass for his cruelty and toxic masculinity #the writers also give a pass for perpetuating the cruelty of toxic masculinity toward men and boys against /him/ #also like this kid self-harms in a variety of ways when he needs control and it's a pattern that starts from his very first scene #Writers Address Literally Any of This Instead of Portraying Men Self-Harming as Quirky Badass Peak of Masculinity Shit Challenge #LL tag