#ma’am that’s so fucked up

[oriocookie]

the lady waiting to fill her prescription: “yeah so my son got a job as a surgeon’s assistant. but the surgeon he worked with is insane! i mean, my son said he’d set a timer during each surgery and try to beat his fastest time! apparently his fastest was fifteen minutes, isn’t that crazy?”

me and my coworker, just trying to count her pills:

#i checked with my boss if this violated hippa #it does not obviously #but jesus fucking christ #ma’am that’s so fucked up

[imthursdaysyme]

Stobin talking about anything and everything all the time

#stranger things #steve harrington #drawing #art #robin buckley #stobin #they be talking again #I just always view them chatting I’m sorry #every picture they’re talking up a storm #they forget anyone else is anywhere #they get an idea in their mind to tell the other they drop everything they’re doing #one track mind they straight shoot it to the other person #and whoever they’re with will be like what the fuck is so important that we have to run to Steve what is happening #and Robin is out of breath after running and dragging Nancy behind her across the entire fucking town of Hawkins #and she gets in front of Steve and is like omg I realized I had to tell you something and Steve’s like omg does it have to do with monkeys #and Robin is like omg YES did you know that one species of monkey gives hugs it’s so cute like long limbs and everything #and Steve is like that’s so cool and Nancy is like wtf that is not important and Steve gasps and is like it IS IMPORTANT #Steve and Robin glaring at Nancy as Steve attempts a monkey hug wrapping #wrapping his arms in his best attempt at a monkey hug like #this is SO important miss ma’am excuse you #and Nancy is like good god how in the world did I date both of these insane creatures #anyway #digital art

[kjack89]

“Oh shit,” Joly said, sounding mildly concerned as he scrolled through his phone. “Something’s going on with Twitter.”

“Given the way the year of our Lord 2023 has gone thus far, I’m going to need you to be a little more specific,” Bossuet said.

Joly turned his phone so Bossuet could read. “They’re limiting how many tweets unverified people can read.”

Bossuet squinted at the phone screen. “Is Elon really that hard up for cash?”

“I mean, probably,” Joly said with a shrug. “Midlife crises are not cheap from my understanding.”

Bossuet laughed. “Ok, so we all switch to a different app for a hot second,” he said. “It’s not the end of the world.”

“It’s not the end of your world,” Joly corrected.

Bossuet scowled at him. “Pretty sure it’s not the end of anyone’s—”

Joly cut him off with a single raised eyebrow. “Grantaire,” he said, a little grimly. “It’s the end of Grantaire’s world as he knows it.”

Bossuet’s brow furrowed. “I don’t think Grantaire even has a Twitter account.”

“He doesn’t,” Joly said. “Enjolras does.”

“Oh.” Bossuet was silent for a moment before his eyes widened. “Oh. Oh no.”

Joly nodded. “Pretty much,” he said, sounding equal parts grim and self-satisfied that he’d understood the implications of this latest development first.

“Do you think we should warn him?” Bossuet asked.

“Should?” Joly said thoughtfully. “I mean, probably. We are his friends, after all, and his boyfriend is about to lose his fucking mind at his ragescrolling being potentially indefinitely interrupted.”

Bossuet nodded slowly. “But we’re definitely not going to warn him, right?”

Joly grinned. “Of course not,” he said. “Where would be the fun in that?”

#exr #grantaire #enjolras #Joly #bossuet #Enjolras was just trying to have himself a perfectly nice Saturday #of scrolling through Twitter and finding every given opportunity to either: #A. promote The Cause and encourage others to take up the mantle of the people against oppression #and B. #to fuck with fascists #it’s 2023 so let’s be honest he was having much more success with the latter #when WHAM #BAM #and without even so much as a ‘thank you ma’am’ #he refreshed his Twitter feed to be hit with #‘Rate Limit Exceeded?’ he said #brow furrowed #’what the fuck does that mean?’ #five minutes later the entire neighborhood has been treated to a treatise #on what that means #and Grantaire who really just wanted to get some painting done #is suddenly painfully aware that without his favorite thing to keep him occupied #Enjolras is about to become Insufferable #pray for him #long post for ts #ficlet

[um-weird-flex-but-ok]

Y’all know that you can love Rhaenyra and still acknowledge that's she's a dumbass right???

#just saw a tiktok describing rhaenyra as a political mastermind… #and I love her #so much #but in what fucking world #girlie was so shocked over being usurped that she went into an early labour #like ma’am you have been in open conflict with the greens for over a decade now #catch up #hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen

[ocpdzim]

another thing that’s really shitty about the recent uptick of people who call themselves allies still refusing to stop using “dude” and similar for trans women is that i thought we all agreed ages ago that we shouldn’t call people things they don’t want to be called even if it IS something you’d consider inoffensive to call a person under most circumstances. like seriously how hard is it to respond to “please don’t call me that” with “sorry, i won’t do it again” even and ESPECIALLY if you didn’t mean any harm when you first said it. if it’s a habit that’s hard to break just try your best and take a moment to apologize briefly when you fuck up, exactly like we’re always telling cis people to do with pronouns they’re not used to using. it’s really not that hard

#like i’m in circles where it’s common to use in a gender neutral way too but if you know someone is likely to be uncomfortable with it then #just say something else! for fucks sake. we all know a lot of trans women are uncomfortable w it bc they said so repeatedly #so just save it for people who are not trans women and/or trans women who told you they’re ok with it #similarly when i was growing up ‘young man’/‘young lady’ was considered a term of respect and/or formality for children. #like the children’s equivalent of calling an adult ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ #but these days it’s often used as a racist micro aggression so EVERYONE NEEDS TO TRY TO STOP WITH IT.

[patolemus]

Just read the newest lucemond hunger games au. It has only one chapter yet but the FERALNESS THE UNHINGNESS I JUST-

I was reading another hunger games au before this (any marauders stans that want to cry with me over crimson rivers?) and I can feel how this is going to become my personality for a while

#unhinged lucerys is my religion #he and aemond are both feral in this and I love it so much #there is nothing like feral lucerys #can you believe most of the tags I use for lucemond pop up regularly? #i barely have to type unhinged and about 7 tags pop up #lucemond #lucerys velaryon #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x lucerys velaryon #hotd #and hp ig #jegulus #marauders #marauders era #crimson rivers #this fucking fic is a household name #miss ma’am chloe ament wrote a song based on it #i fear for my life #you know it’s gonna make you cry if it has it’s own fan base #fanfiction #ao3

[theshippirate22]

every now and then i get hit with the idea of what might happen if Joyce found out about the sins of s1&2 jonathan

#she would lose her shit #WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU TOOK PICTURES OF THEM HAVING SEX???? #WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNEW THEY WERE TOGETHER AND SLEPT WITH HER ANYWAY??? #things would go down in the byers house that night #nancy wouldn’t be excluded from the yelling either because she was the cheater and HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS #meanwhile steve is like please it’s fine it’s just me i deserved it #and she about gives herself whiplash to turn around and tell him that’s bullshit and he absolutely didn’t deserve it and #WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE SAY THAT #and then nancy would get all like sheepish and just leave and steve would end up with like an edible arrangement and shit a few days later #meanwhile jonathan is getting SCREAMED AT #she pulls out the i Am sO dIsApPoInTeD iN yOu #Will!!1!1! #i swear to good if you EVER do this to a someone you’re gonna regret it! #THEY GAVE STEVE A FUCKING COMPLEX #steve is like i can hear you i’m right here #sorry sweetie you know i’m right though #then she turns to argyle and eddie who have been sitting there the whole time #YOU TWO #argyle screams a little bit and eddie chokes out yes ma’am #(never forget this is the woman that punched a politician and took an ax to her own walls okay she’s CRAZY) #YOU TWO TAKE STEVE HOME. WAIT NO TAKE HIM TO BASKIN ROBBINS THEN TAKE HIM HOME #*angrily pulls cash from her wallet and hands it to them* #STEVE I LOVE YOU YOURE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME PLEASE COME TO DINNER ON THURSDAY #argyle mumbled good luck to jonathan on the way out and jonathan is like please don’t leave me here alone 😭😭😭😭

[denkryn]

no but it’s about her previous selves asking her what she did with this life and amalia responding, “i told someone our name” could write a literal essay about how zephyr has always tried not to get attached or make any real connections with anyone because she knows all too well how easily people go and how much it hurts but somehow 2 lives later, and hundred lives lost around her, she finds herself making the truest (no pun intended) relationship she’s ever had in all her lives.

#txt #the nevers #amalia true #well fuck me running i will never be over her character honestly #she’s literally number 2 behind root #im obsessed with this women ma’am it’s the trauma and how they turn to some form of faith afterwards #it makes me crazy #i may write a long fic as a season 2 alternative since the show is over #no one is gonna read it #but i really am not ready to let amalia go lol #and there arent enough fic out there :( #but it’s so hard to write in canon for this show because the lore isn’t even really fleshed out there’s so much left to interpretation #which means more brain gymnastics 😔 i just wanna write amalia/penance romamce but for it to be good we gotta have a good backdrop #stay tuned #i may end up doing nothing #😂

[chialattea]

people will be so understanding of mental illnesses/ ND until they spend more time with a person who can’t get rid of the symptoms and suddenly it’s all “I think you could fix it if you just put some alarms” “have you tried doing a todo list” “have you tried simply not thinking those intrusive thoughts” gee thanks man you know who else finds living with this shit annoying? ME.

#chia’s life #genuinely fuck off #shout out to the teacher who when told I was ND said “maybe you should drop out and let someone better take your place #legit was like some people simply don’t belong in academia #woah thanks!!! #so sorry I have ADHD woman should I just kill myself #like is that it #I wasn’t even asking for anything #just some accommodations for a completely unrelated topic #and this woman was like oh I gotta make sure she knows shes worthless #I started crying on this woman’s office and she even enjoyed it #kept berating me for not living up to the standard #and being unfair to my classmates who /did/ work hard #and that I should feel ashamed of myself #lmao #remembered this because she sent me an email going #hey it’s been a while I’m still your tutor come talk to me #and I’ll help you decide your future #ma’am you told me I was too stupid to have a future #fuck off

[ggigigoode]

GIGI?!?!&/&(&;&/@/))?!?!!2£-)-@;

#I UHM I UHHH I #WHAT THE FUCK #THIS WOMAN #CHECK UP ON UR LOCAL GIGI STAN #THEY’RE PROBABLY DYING #ANYONE ELSE OVER HERE CRAWLING UP THE WALL AND SHIT #she looks so biteable #i’m like #i’m 🫠🫠🫠 #yes ma’am anything you want ma’am #at ur service ma’am #gigi goode #rupauls drag race #rpdr12 #rpdr

[barbie-nightmare-house]

I have four pre programmed social pleasantries to offer and every time someone goes off script I am momentarily convinced I’m capable of murder.

#like let me fucking blunder in peace #I was watching over the neighbor kids in the pool #old lady pulls up right into my backyard. to drop another child that I did not invite #whatever #I babysit the kid sometimes #so I say Hi Nice To Meet You #she says. #we’ve met actually #… #:) well bitch I don’t recall pls elaborate #so SHES STARING AT MY TATTOO BLATANTLY AND GOES #it was two Easter’s ago #1. I sat at the kids table that Easter and didn’t say hi to anyone because I’m me. #2. You also did not say hello to me ma’am. we were in the same room but that doesn’t qualify as meeting #3. I laid on the couch until everyone left. plain view. what makes you think this exchange is valuable #if someone doesn’t remember you #just introduce yourself again brother. #then this lady stood there for a minute like staring at me and then talking about pool weather or something? Idk I stopped listening #and I was thinking cool we both fucked this interaction up which one of us has to die now? #I volunteer. #FUCKKKKINGGGG #I am so embarrassed. I just repeated myself to her with adjusted phrasing. #these tiny meaningless interactions haunt me btw. #trash bin tag

[shewantsitall]

When what was going to be a ✨family trip✨ turns out to be a ✨solo adventure✨ bc they have zero respect for you and your things

#ma’am that is my emotional support water bottle and you left it outside- didn’t tell me- and now it’s messed up #and it’s going to piss me off every time I look at it now #I was so fucking tired and ready to just go tf to bed but noooooooo #now I’m just seething #today was low key a train wreck and tomorrow has LOW potential at this point for a variety of reasons #mainly that four and a half hours of sleep isn’t much better than the two hours last night. #I KNOW THE RUINATION OF MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT WATER BOTTLE IS A PETTY (petty petty petty) AND FIRST WORLD PROBLEM TO HAVE #but man does that not make it any less frustrating #also. the context. #just my ramblings

[humanmaybe]

Whoever said there’s no such thing as a stupid question was so wrong bc if my life has taught me anything it’s that there are a LOT of stupid ass questions and most of them are asked by stupid ass people. To be very clear this is not a measure of intelligence it is a measure of how able a person is to shut up and fucking listen when someone is answering your stupid question.

#this is personal but idc if ppl reblog bc it’s true lol #this is specifically about this woman who would not shut up while my mom and I just repeatedly answered her question over and over and over #she was clearly more interested in talking about herself than actually learning the answer #but my fucking god the answer is as simple as ‘drive your car’ and she’s going on about accidentally putting diesel fuel in her car #ma’am shut up. drive the car. come back once you have done so #stop calling us we aren’t even at work leave us the fuck alone 😭

[thatgirlwithasquid]

if i had a nickle for every time my mother yelled up the stairs to get my brother’s attention before 8am this month, i’d have two nickles WHICH IS TWO TOO MANY WHAT THE FUCK MUM

#personal bs #she got all mardy at me when i mentioned it last time #so i guess i just gotta deal with it #cause yknow fuck me wanting to get sleep #it was literally at 7:30 today like ma’am why #i just wanna sleep in till 9am is that too much to ask for #i thought 9am was the established ‘if youre not already awake then tough cause i need to run the hoover over’ time #which is annoying to be woken up by but whatever. 9am is reasonable when you have a bunch of stuff to be doing ig #BUT FUCKING HALF PAST SEVEN?! #and she literally could’ve just walked upstairs and spoken to him quietly #there was NO REASON #i love my mum but i fucking hate it when she does this

[headaching]

chronic pain from SLEEPING is so supremely wack. i slept for 8 hours and all i got was this excruciating shoulder pain

#currently wearing a heating pad like a scarf #the most fucked up part is i can’t fix it when im fucking UNCONSCIOUS #when i visited my ex once it got progressively worse every night to the point where i could barely move my head during the day #and she was like ‘it’s because you’re sleeping on the pillow wrong’ ma’am. with all due respect i have no control over it #and before you ask i sleep on my stomach/side and it doesn’t matter if i fall asleep on my back i WILL end up on my side #anyway hi. it’s so annoying to be so debilitated by this :( #maim bite kill

[mars-ipan]

i KNOW it was bait i know but i just saw a tiktok of this woman saying some shit like “gen z can’t use a paper map they can’t read cursive if they take over the world it’ll be easy to get it back” and i am so bitter bc 1- if a child cannot do something then their guardians have failed to teach them 2- most of the things she mentioned are not things we actually need in the year of our lord 2023 3- why do you consider gen z as an aggressor trying to take over the world and 4- I CAN FUCKING DO THOSE THINGS

#marzirants #GODDDD it was like some weird standup thing too. such awkward timing #i fucking hate people like that #this woman literally said with a straight face (actually a creepy botox smile) that gen z can’t read paper maps and need a phone gps #ma’am. ma’am i am looking you in the eyes. do you think atlases and google maps are so fundamentally different #that knowing how one works would not inform you on how the other works even slightly?????? #‘god i dunno how to read this paper map the directions are all confusing. thank god for my digital map that looks the exact fucking same’ #fucking idiot. #‘mnehhh they can’t read cursive’ bitch i can WRITE in cursive quite well actually. maybe ur handwriting is just ass #and THEN that whole like. take over the world part #huh??? whuh???? since when has generation z been the face of world domination???? #you motherfuckers think zoomers are plotting to take over the government???? girlie we’re plotting ways to get out of bed in the morning #like. are you referring to how gen z is growing up and entering the political sphere as adults who can vote??? #are we taking over the government by performing our civic responsibility??? #like i hate to break it to you. one day you will die and gen z will be the generation ‘in charge’. that’s called the passage of time #so sick of this shit. ma’am you are beefing with 19yos #like if you are two generations older than me you do not need to be beefing with me !!! stay in your lane #if i am the ‘child’ in this scenario i should not have to tell you to grow the fuck up. jesus #the immaturity of it all i mean really. that’s some playground insult bullshit #‘you’re so dumb you can’t even read cursive loser !!!’ damn bitch if ur gonna insult me at least be accurate. lying is a bad look on you #honestly if someone randomly starts beefing with me for *checks notes* being born in the 2000s #i’m just gonna activate every zoomer bone in my body. i will start using slang i hate #just because i know it’d piss them off #i’d write ‘get bent cunt’ on a little flashcard in perfect cursive just to prove a point #god. i’m so sick of all the generation war stuff #completely fucking unnecessary. imagine starting beef with someone like 5 developmental stages behind you #‘take over the world’ fucking moron. that’s how society works we like to call it time #literally like. old man shouts at cloud levels of unnecessary #i know i shouldn’t let such clear bait get under my skin like that but #it is 2:30 am so my impulse control is inhibited. also i’m bitter