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earthtooz · 10 months

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x : LOVIN' YOU RIGHT :*+ﾟ all of me i'm offering, show you what devotion is !

in which: reo keeps chasing after you because the one thing he knows how to do is love you right.

warnings: 2.2k words, FLUFF, gn!reader, reo is an athlete, post-argument fic inspired by jungkook's 'seven' mv, mentions of food, pet names used by reader and reo, reo is a little bit of a flirt and a lot in love and pathetic bc that's how we like our men!

a/n: I LOVE REO

“what are you doing here?”

reo looks at the direction of your voice, eyes widening in surprise upon seeing you. there are grocery bags in your hands, you’re wearing the sweater you always wear when running errands, and you’re looking at him like he’s a fly that’s invaded your home, annoyance and exasperation seeping right off you. despite it, his heart flutters alive and reo feels like he can finally breathe after the few days you spent ignoring him.

“y/n!” he exclaims, a smile making its way onto his face. “hi baby, i’ve missed you!”

just as he leans in to press a kiss to your forehead, you swerve aside smoothly, causing the purple-haired’s smile to drop.

“y/n? what was that for?” you don’t answer him, instead slipping past his figure to stand in front of your door, perhaps pressing a little too close for it to be normal, but reo keeps quiet about it. “at least let me help you with your groceries, you can’t unlock a door with both hands-”

“don’t.” you command, struggling with getting your keys out. “why are you here?”

“wh-what do you mean? i haven’t seen you in three days and i missed you so i came to visit,” he pouts. “did you not miss me?”

your eye twitches. “i’m still mad at you,” you finally unlock your door, pushing it open and closing it before reo could come in.

however, that plan is much easier said than done because your boyfriend has better reflexes and is considerably faster than you, so he jams his shoe in between the doorway before you could close it. he makes no move to push it open though.

“i’m sorry!” he calls out guiltily and he hopes his words reach you through the thin space. “you know i am, i didn’t mean to upset you, and i came to talk it out and make it up to you!”

you peek through the gap, looking reo in the eye. “as much as i appreciate your apology reo, there’s no point in letting you in, i need to go run some errands soon so why don’t you leave and come back later when we can talk.”

“then can i come with you?”

“why? you’re just going to be bored following me around.”

“i’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you allowed me.”

the silence is deafening, utterly suffocating as reo awaits for a response. he has never wanted to kick down a door so badly in his life because if you spend another millisecond not speaking to him then he might lose his mind, he’d rather die than have you shut him out.

thankfully, you open up the gap just a little more, allowing him to see more of you, but you don’t meet his eye, looking to the side bashfully instead. “fine, but i’m still mad at you, so don’t get any ideas.”

heaven is on his side, reo decides as he fails miserably at hiding his smile.

“you wait outside though, i’ll be out in a bit.”

“wait, can’t i help you put your groceries away?”

“you don’t even know how to do it properly.”

“i’ll learn for you.”

“another time.”

reo retracts his foot and you close the door with a gentle click, the sight of you being replaced with a wooden plank souring his mood significantly. better than you slamming the door in his face, he supposes, but nevertheless, the purple-haired sighs, moping in front of your door like it was his birthright.

he only broods for a few minutes maximum because soon enough, he’s reunited with you, trailing behind you like a second shadow as you both make your way through your neighbourhood. the excitement that reo feels practically tangible, leaving a trail of undying devotion, powered by the love he feels for you.

the walk is quiet, filled by sounds of passing cars, birds chirping, and people strolling by that stare a little too long at the purple-haired, either subtly admiring him or wondering why he seemed so familiar. you’re acutely aware of the stares and how strange the sight must be to them. world-class soccer player and multimillionaire trailing behind a nobody as if it was just another day, how unfathomable.

you wonder if reo gets tired of it.

“what are you doing today?” your boyfriend asks, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“i need to drop by the bank first of all, then i have some things to return, and then i need to buy some new headphones because mine broke.”

“oh, good to know!”

“reo, i swear, don’t even get the idea about paying for any of it. use your credit card today and i will personally-”

“-okay, okay!” he jokes, defensively putting up his hands. “i won’t.”

“promise?”

“promise.”

you narrow your eyes at him in suspicion, very clearly not believing him before continuing your journey. you know your boyfriend better than anyone and if it’s one thing he’s stubborn with, it’s never letting you pay, but you’re determined and reo is plotting the many ways to break his promise.

the first method is dropped in front of him like a divine gift, which took shape through a flower stall in front of the mall you planned on going to. reo is a man of taking his chances whenever he sees it. grabbing your hand to stop you from walking any further, reo doesn’t explain his intentions as he wordlessly drags you to the quaint store that had set itself up.

“reo, no-”

“-this one, please,” reo demands as he hands the bouquet of his choice to the store owner, keeping you in a tight grip before you could run away.

“reo!”

“that’ll be 7700 yen.”

“that’s too much! reo, stop it! i told you you couldn’t use your credit card today!”

from his pocket, reo fishes out a crisp ‘10000’ bill, dropping it on the platter for cash before speed walking away with the bouquet. “thank you very much, no need for change!”

the protests of the store attendant fades in the background and reo turns to you with a boyish smile, pushing the bouquet into your arms as if you hadn’t witnessed everything that just happened.

“reo,” you murmur, resolve crumbling as the beautiful arrangement shines up at you and it doesn’t help that your (very charming) boyfriend is looking at you with a pleading look in his eyes, practically begging for you to accept. “i told you not to buy anything-”

“-with my card! you never said anything about cash.”

“that’s not the point- oh my goodness,” you pinch the bridge of your nose whilst shaking your head, but you quickly admit defeat when a small giggle slips through your lips.

glancing back up at him, there’s scorn in your eyes but it’s easily contrasted by the gentle smile that dances along your lips. reo feels a warmth spread in his chest, as if he had swallowed the sun and made itself home beside his heart, the same one that begins to race at the sight of you laughing. he is so pathetically devoted to you that it makes him stupid, but he’d buy all the flowers in the world if it will make you smile at him like this.

“you’re so silly, reo,” taking the bouquet from his relaxed grip, you hug it close to your chest. “thank you though, i love them.”

“i love you,” slips past his lips before he can think.

“ever the smoothtalker, aren’t you?”

you walk away without another word, causing reo to chase after you. “wait, why aren’t you saying it back?”

“still mad.”

reo shuts his mouth, complaints dying on his tongue as he continues following you through the mall. slowly but surely, you make your way through your list of things to do, with the world-class athlete silently losing his mind more and more with each second that you weren’t giving him attention. he needs to plot more ways that would break your resolve, and fast.

his opportunity comes up when the two of you pass by a bakery that catches your eye, your gaze to lingering a little too long on the display of baked goods for reo not to notice. without a second thought, he drags you in with him, your immediate complaints falling on deaf ears.

“i don’t want anything!” you hiss, trying to keep loyal your stubbornness despite the enchanting smell of baked goods wafting through the air.

“too bad, either you tell me what you want or i’m buying out the whole store,” reo promises, eyes alight with determination.

“i want to go home.”

“aren’t you hungry?”

“there’s food at home, i don’t want to waste any unnecessary money.”

“it’s not wasting if it’s spent on you, though,” he reasons before ordering the baked goods that he knows you will like, and once again, paying for it with cash.

“if you’re trying to get me to forgive you by spending your money then forget it,” you mutter, ripping your hand out of his grasp before walking out of the store.

“y/n-” reo begins, cutting himself off as he waits impatiently for his order to get finished packing; not that it takes long before he leaves the store with a branded paper bag in hand, filled with perhaps multiple boxes of baked goods as dashes out to the entrance, prepared to chase after you.

except he doesn’t need to, because you’re standing outside patiently waiting for him, the bouquet of flowers still snug in your arms. its beauty could never compare to yours, reo thinks offhandedly as he approaches you like a magnet.

“i thought me walking out would deter you,” you murmur, eyeing the bag in his hand. “should’ve known that it wouldn’t work.”

reo grins, partly out of adoration, mostly because he’s just glad you didn’t actually leave him behind, not that you ever would or could do such a thing.

“you treat me too well, don’t you think?” you hug the flowers closer to your chest.

“what? where did that come from?”

you shrug, not meeting his eyes. “i don’t know, you’re just too good for me sometimes. aren’t you tired?”

a crack resonates through his heart, causing a few pieces to crumble and shatter on the ground. “how could you ever think that?” he says in a panic. “do i need to give you more flowers? i need to call to make you an arrangement soon, i’m so inconsiderate! we can go out next week, i’ll clear my sche-”

two hands are placed of either side of his face and the words die on reo’s tongue. you look at him with a look of fondness that almost makes him cry and fall to his knees. “-i’m sorry, i don’t know where that came from. i just think i got really lucky having someone like you in my life.”

reo wants to say that its reverse, that he’s the one who landed in a pot of fortune and came out with someone as kind and beautiful as you, but he’ll find the words some other day because he wants to kiss you, badly.

finally, you say, “thank you love, i appreciate your gifts.”

he beams and falls harder in love than he already was.

by the time the two of you arrive at your apartment, the sun is beginning to dip belong the horizon and you hold a lot more goods than anticipated, your boyfriend being the one to blame for most of them.

“are you gonna call someone to drive you home?” you ask, stopping in front of your door.

reo frowns, “i guess i could do that.”

he makes no move for his phone and his pout is a strong indication of what he truly wants. you’ve always been good at reading reo but you’ve never been good at resisting his wishes, so it’s with a faked sigh that you give in.

“fine,” you hold out your hand for him to take and he very happily complies, beaming with a hope so bright that it blinds you. “want to stay the night?”

he almost drops to one knee but doesn’t get the time to because you’re unlocking your door. this time, you’re leaving it open and reo storms in like its his birth right (which it could be. he thinks he was put on this earth to love you and being welcomed in to your apartment might as well be another declaration of love.)

its refreshing to be in your space once more, to bathe in your presence and be welcomed in instead of shut out. as much as you may scorn him, reo’s only place in the universe is beside you, and he’ll take whatever you give so long as it’s you he gets to see at the end of the day.

“reo!” you call out from the kitchen, disrupting his thoughts. “should we have some of those cakes you bought earlier?”

“yeah, i’m coming!” shouts reo, happy, content, and grateful that you will let him love you, because he’s the only one that could do it right.

#i like this for once :>#reo mikage x reader #reo x reader #mikage reo x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #reo mikage #mikage reo #reo fluff #reo x reader fluff #blue lock

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10969mfs-sinro · 8 months

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ONE OK ROCK × Monster Hunter Now - "Make It Out Alive" Music Video [Behi...

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Behind the scenes of the Make It Out Alive music video

#one ok rock #make it out alive #mv #music video #behind the scenes #oor #jrock #10969 #monster hunter #Youtube

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omegalomania · 1 day

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some extremely funny things abt the discord q&a

patrick "randomly picked up" rick remender's the sacrifcers, seemingly unaware that his bandmate is literally writing a comic book (holy roller) with rick remender rn

joe gives one book recommendation (the glassy burning floor) while patrick and pete go off listing various titles they've picked up. pete recommends the three body problem but doesn't mention if he actually read the book, just says he watched the tv show. andy just says "my favorite book series is the dark tower by stephen king" END of question. love that guy

when asked who they'd like to tour with, alive or dead, patrick joe AND pete all make the same joke about how they'd like to tour with the alive band because they don't want to dig up the dead. i hate them.

question is "whats the moment you feel like you made it" and patricks like well i think when i realized people weren't leaving during saturday it felt like we made it. andys like the first time we signed to a major label it felt like we made it. joes like well during warped tour after sugar was released it felt like we made it. and petes like when we played metro and my mom whacked a giant inflatable dildo out of her face. okay pete

patrick wanted the original jacket from dance dance SO BAD but they wouldnt let him keep it no matter how much money they offered for it. for the arm's race video they had to make a knockoff

the guitar patrick uses in the saturday mv was one that joe essentially bought for him w the last of his bar mitzvah money and patrick LOVED it. and then in the saturday mv joe just absolutely destroyed it. but patrick kept a piece of it cause he loved it that much :')

pete still has franklin from the infinity on high cover but has said he's ended up in the pool before. also his cat beats him up.

joe got some custom molded vampire teeth for the sixteen candles video that never got used in the video proper, but he still has them!

petes dream collab is kid cudi. patrick is just happy to be here and likes collaborating with cool people. joe likes collaborating with his band the most :)

andy would love to collaborate with trent reznor but doesn't see it happening. andy ilu but i agree ldkfjdlkjfd

#*making poasts #amazing how they set these four guys into four separate interviews and they sTILL only have one brain cell between em

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kumezyzo · 8 months

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more desperate bf!sapnap please. . .....

kinda jealous and lightly desperate bf!sap with streamer reader cause why not. we're also revisiting the Everest MV idea.

so, enjoy! or dont... :) m.list

bf!sapnap who went back the idea of you wearing outfits similar to the girls in the music video once he saw how Gravy interacted with you.

"these are my boys," dream introduced as he stomped up the stairs. "and yn."

you glared at him as he motioned to each of you on the couch, restating your names.

you stand up, "hi, its nice to meet you!" you say as you reach your hand out for a handshake.

"yea, i know who you are!" he tells you enthusiastically, going in for a hug instead. you let out a surprised 'oh' and you pull away from the hug.

"you do?" you ask with a slight smile.

"i already kinda knew who you were but when i heard you vocals on the song, i thought it would be cool to check you out," he said nodding.

"oh my god, thank you," you laugh, glancing at dream. he was looking at your boyfriend behind you on the couch.

bf!sapnap who just keeps a close eye on you when you and gravy start interacting more between 'scenes'. he lowkey glared from a distance when the tall blonde compliments you and cracks a few jokes to seemingly make you laugh.

when bf!sapnap saw you come out in a string bikini for one of the scenes, he stopped everything he was doing and went over to talk to you.

"do you need something to cover up with?" he asked, trying to stand in a way to block you from everyone there.

you smile at him with a quiet laugh, "no we start filming in like five minutes," he nods and looks down at your practically naked body. you shake your head and lean in to give him a peck on the lips.

he places his warm hands on your waist, looking at your cleavage and shamelessly checking you out.

bf!sapnap who has you sitting up on the bar outside when the camera is panning around everyone. he's feeling up your sides and getting close enough to kiss you but never actually doing it.

the director at one point has to ask him to move away from you to get more shots of your two on your own or in a different pose.

bf!sapnap who brings you your clothes from earlier in the shoot to change back into. he tries to get you to let him 'help you'.

"nick, i dont need help to put on a t-shirt and shorts," you tell your boyfriend with a blank face.

"of course you do! you need to undo the tie of your bikini," he says as if its obvious. you roll your eyes and shut the door to the bathroom, locking it loudly for emphasis.

its short cause i got tired. but someone, as a cw assignment, suggested writing about anthropomorphizing (?) objects and theres a podcast called Everything Is Alive that does exactly that. one of them is of a pregnancy test... and i would wanna be a pregnancy test just to know ive made someone burst into tears with something other than my writing... -nony

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milgram-tournament · 4 months

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MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 10 DOUBLE vs. DEEP COVER

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for DOUBLE:

-Another classic case of the Deco*27 sound being perfectly utilized.

-The part with Mikoto calling his mom =(

-Really emphasizes John’s perspective and how bad Mikoto’s had it over the last while.

-The last “I’m sorry”… like bro you didn’t have to do that to me.

-The visuals are very appealing. Really brings out a interesting perspective into Mikoto’s experience with DID.

---

Double is my favorite song in the entirety of Milgram. The song gives us such a good insight on John, his wants and needs- all while being an absolute banger. The MV is also amazingly made, it's quick says so much about John and Mikoto's feelings. While it's shorter than the other songs, every second is absolutely perfect and fits in well with the rest. There's no parts of the song that aren't as good as the others- they're all wonderfully made and there's a reason I've been playing it on loop ever since it came out. Please vote Double!

Propaganda for DEEP COVER:

first of all. the girl is already at a disadvantage because the MV has not come out yet. think about this. think about how her mv will be a banger. probably

the parallels to Undercover are SO AMAZING. like, how kotoko being a foil to es and the prison itself has lead to a lot of references to undercover in her t2 song: the "UNDERS" before each innocent prisoner's line, how each line summarizes a prisoner's crime, IT'S ALL SO YUMMY

also, since she knows so much about everyone's crimes, this implies she overheard EVERY VOICE DRAMA while hidden in that one wardrobe. girlboss behaviour

the beat is SO INCREDIBLE. VERY DANCY SONG. she would have the best anime openings fr fr

the absolute BALLS to make a song dissing the other prisoners. those last few verses?? amazing. sorry if she slandered your faves, but I WILL FOREVER DEFEND A PUNK WOMAN'S RIGHT OF FREE SPEECH

seigi girl moment. again. it's like the national anthem of seigi girls

the triage parallels are eating my brain alive SEND HELPP

i had a dream that the mv was like 20 mins long because they had made an entire anime episode about her in the middle of the mv. that unfortunately won't happen, but i hope it's funny enough for you to cast a vote for deep cover 🙏

anyways. i will STAND BY MY CANCELLED WIFE NO MATTER WHAT

---

Oh my god it’s so perfect, it has a perfect beat, and the parallels to UNDERCOVER are amazing!! It perfectly conveys how Kotoko feels as if her and ES are quite similar, and her being ES’s “fangs”. It’s catchy, shows feeling, and just manages to be PERFECT!!

#milgram #milgramtournament #mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto #kotoko yuzuriha #yuzuriha kotoko #john kayano #kayano john #(ooc: to everyone who is eagerly awaiting the deep cover MV #may I perhaps interest you in some alien stage? heheh)

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mono-dot-jpeg · 8 months

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hsr characters but they're different parts of jungkook's seven mv

— monday; arguing in a restaurant, hoping to keep you by your side as it feels like the world is crumbling but you both stay together through it despite your obvious anger and frustration with them.

blade, LUOCHA, bronya, welt, tingyun, himeko

— tuesday; they're hanging off a train just to have another moment with you. he wants to talk to you, keep you around, and they are willing to risk their life even if he looks stupid doing it.

sampo, caelus/stelle, LUKA

— wednesday; they can't stop leaving you alone. even following you while you're in the laundromat. you try to ignore him the best you can as you angrily fold clothes. you roll your eyes at their sweet nothings and pleas. but you end up fighting with them anyways as the place floods. but he still stays.

JINGYUAN, kafka, seele, natasha

— thursday; they start to find other ways to grab your attention. they had even faked their death, but upon seeing you, they try to break out of the emergency cot and run to you. they try to keep them down but they make it out anyways, buying flowers on the way with an obscene amount of money because they only have you on their mind. and they almost get hit by a car as they chase you, stumbling on their feet.

jingyuan, sampo, gepard, sushang

— friday; they're walking with you through heavy rain, the wind isn't so nice today either. you both have to hold on to something and as they're trying to tell you how much they love you, oh- they're flying away from the high winds.

gepard, serval, caelus/stelle

— saturday; it's their funeral, and honestly, you couldn't be happier. will you miss them? probably. they were always the passionate type. always actions and words and never thinking before they do anything when it came to you. oh- wait, they're alive, and you're groaning in annoyance as their face looks so cute and punchable at the same time.

CAELUS/STELLE, sampo, luka, sushang, serval, himeko, KAFKA

— sunday; they're just standing on a platform, annoyingly declaring their love for you as you stand on a rooftop. they go in their own dramatics, yelling out to the world and to you about how much they would love you if you gave them a real chance. you can't help but scoff and look away, trying to hide how flustered you were starting to get.

caelus/stelle, jingyuan, dan heng inhibitor lunae, luka, sampo

— but all seven days of the week, every hour, every minute, you know they're loving you right even if you hate them so much some days. in the heaviest of weather, you're still together as you stare at each other for a moment before you finally relent to their affections. you hold your hand out tiredly and they smile at you, grabbing your hand in return as you both walk back home.

all of them

a/n; has anyone done this yet? idk but i was thinking some thoughts while i was gone for a festival. and i love seven sm, such a banger.

#honkai jing yuan #honkai x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai welt #honkai himeko #dan heng x reader #honkai jingyuan x reader #jingyuan x reader #hsr luka x reader #sampo x reader #caelus x reader #stelle x reader #kafka x reader #serval x reader #gepard x reader #seele x reader #luocha x reader

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2amtechnicolor · 11 months

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We Need To Talk About Mahiru

Mahiru's second Trial is out and oh my god she just jumped up on my faves list. I love analyzing the MVs from different perspectives so I thought I'd give my 2 cents on Mahiru's character.

My vote: INNOCENT

The first thing I really feel the need to bring up is that people tend to ignore that Mahiru is actually very intelligent. There's multiple kinds of intelligence, and while she might not be "traditionally" smart in the linguistic sense, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She's a master of empathy and mood making and is an incredibly charming talker to the point you don't realize she's completely controlling the conversation. That being said, I genuinely don't think she uses her intelligence for malicious gains.

One of the theories going around with her first MV was that she was overbearing to the point of being abusive, while being oblivious to her own toxicity. Now after rereading and rewatching, I'm inclined to disagree. Her love may be seen as overbearing to some but we have not seen any explicit bad behavior towards her boyfriend. (Contrast with someone like Muu, who was revealed to have bullied as much as she was bullied herself). In my unpopular opinion, I genuinely think Mahiru was in a "healthy" relationship, at least on the surface.

[TW for discussions of death, murder, and fictional depictions of suicide]

[Side Note: One of the sticking points people have while saying "Mahiru was toxic" is that "Mahiru's relationship only lasted 16 days" which is blatantly not true when you check the translations for MV1. Day 1 takes place during college finals (mid-March-ish in JPN), Day 7 explicitly takes place in the summer, and Day 15 is New Year's Day (January). Mahiru's affection towards her boyfriend lasted almost a year, and they dated for around 6 months-ish during that. The "16 Day Memorial" isn't about a period of 16 days, it's about 16 days over the course of their relationship where she was explicitly making moves towards her boyfriend.]

I need you to take a real hard look at how Mahiru talks about "love" and "being in love." More specifically, when she talks about the concept of "love," she often brings up the action of "loving/showing love" in her explanation. Never once have I heard her say "My boyfriend loved me." or "This is what my boyfriend did for me." The focus is all on her actions towards the boyfriend. And I genuinely think she was a sweet girlfriend! She loved trying his hobbies and cooking his favorite foods and going to his favorite spots. She was sweet, and kind, and playful, and maybe just a bit clingy. But she was never jealous or possessive.

Es: I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now are they?

Mahiru: You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!

She explicitly states that her crime was not based off of negative feelings towards her boyfriend, but she still takes responsibility for what happened. Compare that to Fuuta, who, despite his own feelings of guilt, continually verbally denied that he had anything to do with his victim's death. Mahiru not only takes explicit responsibility, but also pins her "love" as his cause of death, to the point where if she was voted guilty, she would never try to love anyone again. Without "loving" anyone, she has no reason to live.

"To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe."

It's interesting the way she compares basic needs to "the act of loving". Not the concept of "love" itself, but the act of showing someone love. If she is not allowed to show someone love, to her it's like suffocating, like dying of thirst, or maybe...dying of starvation?

Mahiru in her second MV may be dirty and barefoot with torn clothes, but the one thing she is not is starving. You could argue that "perhaps it doesn't show," but when compared to her boyfriend...

She's incredibly healthy.

And of course she's healthy! Her lovely boyfriend's been feeding her those bites of cake! So is the cake "love" then? But if the cake is love, why is her boyfriend, the one whose being "smothered," the one starving?

Feeding the cake doesn't represent "love." Feeding the cake also doesn't represent "the act of loving." Feeding the cake represents the boyfriend letting Mahiru "love" him. Does that make sense?

The boyfriend lets himself be vulnerable, he feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru for her to "love." But yet, he himself is starving.

...Have you even noticed Mahiru hates talking about herself?

It's evident from her first interrogation. Es can barely get two words in before Mahiru interrupts them to ask them questions about themselves or to offer her own advice to problems she thinks Es may be having.

Es: Oh… yeah. Uh… I apologise for that.

Mahiru: Did you zone out just then? This job must be pretty difficult, so you might be mentally burned out from work. Herbal tea’s good for that, you know? Oh! Like ginkgo tea—they say it helps improve brain function.

Es: Oh, is that so? I’ll try a bit then… I mean, no! Enough about me.

Compared to one of the few times Es gets a question in:

Es: I don’t completely understand what you’re saying, but… Being in love and loving someone—are they really that important?

Mahiru: They are.

Es: Hm.

Mahiru: They are… More so than anything else.

When reflected back to her, her answered become short and vague. Her voice grows soft and shy. She avoids questions, especially questions about difficult topics, not because she doesn't understand the gravity of them (like Haruka) but because she does. Like I said at the top, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent. She was beaten nearly to death because Kotoko decided to be Es's "fang", and yet she still empathizes with them. She still makes a strong attempt to see their point of view, and even to encourage Es to keep working hard. Compared to the other attacked prisoner we've seen, Fuuta, who blames and grovels for forgiveness, these responses are like night and day.

But what do we know about Mahiru, really?

She's 22

She's a university student

She likes romantic novels, comic, and dramas

She loves love. [But she's not obsessed with being loved. Haruka is obsessed with being loved, Haruka wants to be loved and taken care of, Haruka killed out of jealousy and for attention because he didn't feel loved enough. We never get that from Mahiru.]

Everything else we know about Mahiru? Is for other people.

Her favorite hobbies? Whatever her partner is doing.

Her fashion sense? Whatever will catch her partner's eye.

Her favorite food? Well, as long her partner cooks it, anything's her favorite!

The only time we ever get a sense of her and her boyfriend possibly disagreeing on something is Day 14 in MV1. Mahiru wants to see a French film and begs her boyfriend to take her. This is odd, because just a few scenes ago, she was bragging about how their tastes in films perfectly line up. If their tastes are the same, why would she have to beg him to take her to see this one?

Mahiru, like Yuno, is hiding behind a facade. But unlike Yuno, Mahiru doesn't have a strong core underneath her mirroring. Yuno can drop her "nice girl" act and she still has strong opinions and feelings and acts accordingly. Mahiru, when you try to go behind her mask, clams up, redirects, searches for a way out.

So. Back to cake.

The boyfriend feeds pieces of himself to Mahiru. He makes himself vulnerable, he lets her in, lets her care for him, lets her "love" him.

But Mahiru? She never feeds him until the very end, and even then, her "cake" isn't anything edible.

She's not stupid. She knows she can't give him what he really wants: any sort of vulnerability.

Their relationship is one-sided, but not because Mahiru is toxic or the boyfriend is apathetic. Their relationship is one sided because that's how Mahiru wants it to be. She wants to be the perfect girlfriend, because, if we're being honest, Mahiru doesn't like herself very much.

Why else would she hate talking about herself? She clearly loves to chat.

She puts her all into everything...as long as it's for someone besides her.

She will outright ignore her own pain and suffering, her own emotions, because she doesn't want to make anyone else upset.

Mahiru: Sorry… for making you worry. I’m fine! It doesn’t hurt at all.

Es: It’s a horrible injury. There’s no way it doesn’t hurt.

Mahiru: It doesn’t!

So why did her boyfriend die?

Mahiru's very good at hiding her emotions. If she slipped up and her boyfriend realized and noticed how she refused to love herself, it could cause friction in their otherwise perfect relationship.

Maybe Mahiru was the one who wanted to die in the woods, and her boyfriend, starved for any sort of real connection to her, found her at the last moment? Maybe her mental health dragged his down with her.

Mahiru's incredibly complex and tragic and endlessly relatable. She only loves too much because she can't love herself. If she's truly unforgivable, and she keeps her promise to stay alone...what's stopping her from killing the only thing she hates most?

#milgram #mahiru shiina #this is how to be in love with you #character analysis #i love you #daisuki #meta #deco*27 #milgram project #mahiru innocent #i log into the milgram fandom #i post a 1.5k word essay #i leave for another 5 months #lux talks

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