#maths makes me cry so bad

[rhysandsdarlingbitches]

um okay, reblog if you took pcm or were pushed into taking pcm cz of your GREAT 10th result but now you are crying cz of one or all subjects

#pcm #maths makes me cry so bad #chemistry #physics #maths #desi #desiblr #desi tag #desi tumblr #cbse #indian memes #study #10th #12th #studyblr

[thegirlivealwaysbeen]

uh oh! time to put on my “i’m an academic failure and pathetic and stupid and i need to just drop out of school forever and ever” playlist

#did HORRIBLY on an ENGLISH ASSIGNMENT and i am NOT the kinda girl who does horrible on english assignments #it makes me want to break down crying but i have to study for my stupid math test tomorrow because i also did horrible on my math assignmen #like so so bad #ugh

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[pezpenser205]

3am monday morning mood

#insert garfield i hate mondays joke here #op #........................................................................................................................................... #........................................................................................................................ #...................................................................................................................... #....................................................................................................................... #........................................................... #............................................................ #sui mention tw if you read further for some odd reason #was highkey wanting to change my mind before the date came but now im not so sure thats gonna happen #i dont have a lot of time #2 days is not enough to get a job or change my mind so i dont even know what im gonna do #i feel like im dreaming all the time #'i dont know what im gonna do' is for sure a lie though i damn well know come on now #its simple a + b = c math #(im a waste of resources) + (i dont even like being here and am not a person anymore) = (i shouldnt be here) #i think my family will get over it like none of them even talk to me anymore (not that i make it easy but still) #i have nothing that somebody else cant have or do better than me its not that big of a deal. #like literally i cant fucking comprehend what anyone would like about me anymore #everything bad about me so clearly outweighs the 1/10 times i can be funny or dependable or considerate. #im just taking advantage of others' compassion at this point #when i say 'i am not a person' i mean that with 100% sincerity #i get surprised and scared when people talk to me and have no concept of self and no real hobbies. im just empty im not even angry anymore #im beyond unhinged tbh i have zero self awareness and feel like im the only person like me that exists and im rambling- #-and oversharing all the time and talking over others because i fail to even really understand or consider what theyre saying anymore #-and simultaneously i feel too unremarkable to be worthy of life #i feel like im playing my entire life in VR like nobody and nothing here is real. none of you are even real. #this feels the same as typing in a word document i just always feel alone no matter who im talking to or what im doing #i feel like the only real person in the world and the only one that shouldnt be here #i cant even bring myself to feel scared of death. im just. nothing. even when im crying i dont feel anything at all

[dinitride-art]

I’ve got a required class that I don’t particularly feel happy doing, but at the end I’ll have the ability to make edits so. The promise of being able to cause myself psychic damage at the end of this will get me through the psychic damage I’ll sustain while doing it.

#I am not the best at technology because the way people have explained stuff to me in my life #usually makes me feel stupid #because it’s like why don’t you know how to click this thing! it’s literally this button right here! #and how would I know that #like yeah I know logically how this should happen but none of these symbols make any sense #and when I hover on some of them they don’t give me the helpful little description #and it’s terrible #there’s always the comments about how your generation was raised on this! why don’t you know how to make a file folder #sorry I was like 14 and had literally no need to before this ma’am #anyways this class isn’t like that but my prior experience with being taught this stuff is bad #not a great place to start learning how to use photoshop #I don’t care that it can do literally everything #that means nothing if it fails to convey how to do anything at all #if you want me to learn a language you have to give me people speaking it first #throwing grammar and verb conjugations just isn’t enough #I’m just going to cry about it for a while and then I’ll be okay again #actually what I really think could fix this is if they taught a theory of computer science course #without any math or stupid shit in it #so I personally could figure out how it goes from a circuit board to YouTube #I don’t need to know how to make a computer or a website #I just need to know how it works #like I can’t do scientific experiments but I know how the immune system operates well enough to be okay with it #better yet explain it to me using Minecraft red stone #and old pixelated video games #can’t promise that this will be the end of me comparing about this #because I’ve got stuff due tomorrow and I need to make myself do it #sorry in advance for the person I may or may not become tonight

[imwritesometimes]

reading all the signs of dyscalculia and being like. hmmmm. yes. ok. yes. hmmmm. yes. and then fucking crying cause. man. I knew all my life it wasn't just me "not wanting to do better" or "not wanting to learn" I tried to explain to every adult that would listen that there was something wrong when it came to math and no one would listen

#literally every single sign I check off. which is like. hello. #couldn't learn multiplication tables. couldn't learn measurements. counts even basic numbers on fingers. trouble with making change. #on and on and on and on and on like when I say all of the signs I mean ALL. math literally does not happen in my brain I cannot explain it #different than that it's like. hearing the adults in a peanuts cartoon. no matter how hard I TRIED and god did I try #it wouldn't work. and now it's like oh well. this all makes sense. #literally hurling in class before timed multiplication tests. math being the ONLY thing that slowed me down in school. #but no one would LISTEN. THEY ALL THOUGHT I WAS BEING A LAZY STUBBORN BITCH! #I'm sorry I'm just like. legit crying rn. I have been so ashamed all my life and given so much shit #and it's like. I probably could have been helped. and not still be SO BAD. if anyone had listened. #erin explains it all

[victory-cookies]

.

#vent #i really thought I was doing better #I’d been feeling ok. Not good but ok. #and now I’m back in my fucking rut #I had a panic attack last night #and I’ve spent most of today either crying or stuck in executive dysfunction #and I haven’t studied nearly enough for my math final and I hate myself for it #I feel useless #and I’m stuck sitting here knowing that even if I get through this it’s only gonna get worse! #I’m going full time next semester (the thing that. yknow. made me suicidal the first time) and winter break doesn’t seem like a reprieve #only a delay of the inevitable #and it doesn’t even feel like Christmas anyway so what’s the fucking point #I’m a worthless idiot who probably isn’t gonna fail math but is gonna do just poorly enough that it’s embarrassing to be struggling so much #why do I want to die. I have an 80. I probably won’t fail the class #but I’m not doing bad enough to justify the way I feel and that makes it even worse #anyway sorry for venting I’m gonna go try to cbt myself into not being depressed #I just needed to get things off my chest #See y’all in a couple days

[hearties-circus]

Most uncomfortable extra maths support period of my life g-ddammit

#gamer txt. #at max 5 of us show up right #3 of us showed up this time #and those other 2 were called down for the rest of the period #so it was just me and the teacher #being alone with just the teacher doing work as normal is fine being alone with just the teacher who Knows you need help isnt #it doesnt matter if i care or if i know or not. someone telling me im wrong and need help always always makes me tear up #and she decided to fucking sit next to me #listen im fine going to maths support classes #i draw the line at a tutor. i will cry and theres little to nothing i can do about that #and then she started asking me about how i usually did in maths. what did i get on my last test? 8/100? #do i know how id go about getting a better score? #can you fuck off please i dont want to talk about this anymore #do i study at home? NO i dont ok! i hate maths! i dont wanna do it in the comfort of my own home! #and its so embarrassing! doing sometjing im bad at it in school is ok bc we have to. everyone else is doing it too #doing it at home in my free time? to try to get better? and still struggling still failing ? just hit me itd hurt less #and plus my main issue is my memory #i cant even study at home bc i forget everything to do with school the second i leave #it doesn't return to me until sunday night if it even returns me #and if i do remember and go through past paper questions or fucking homeworks i dont understand them #and i dont remember where the lesson for them is #but the lessons dont make sense to me either so finding them wouldnt help me #but no one takes i forgot as a valid answer even if i explain so what does it fucking matter #why dont i ask for help? thats my business! thats personal! im not going to explain my fucking trauma to you #whether or not asking for help makes me feel like im going to be screamed at and cursed out doesnt matter. i cant do it #stop telling me to just do it! thats not possible! #just let me fail it doesnt matter i dont want to be doing maths anyways i dont care and i dont want to be here just let me fail #or kick me out the class! move me down a class! those are options i know they are my friends do nat 4 maths you can move me down #just. stop talking to me about it. i dont want to do maths anymore #it has single handedly gotten me to start making suicide jokes again

[olliecoded]

the ONE TIME i like really truly needed academic validation to keep myself from feeling like a complete and utter failure and i wasn't even there when it was given to me

#hello world #i know i failed my math exam this morning and its just so frustrating bcs ive been trying to understand that class all year and i HATE not #getting things and that class makes me feel so stupid bcs im not stem-inclined at ALL and thats prioritized so heavily above the humanities #and ive struggled through precalc and calc for two years now and i still just dont get it. it doesnt make sense to me #so the gifted kid burnout has been HIGH lately and i just feel so awful and so stupid and i wanted to cry after my exam this morning bcs #idk why i cant just understand these things!! i dont get it!!! ive worked so hard and it just never fucking clicks!!! #and there was an awards ceremony at my school tonight which i didnt go to bcs i was convinced i wouldnt win anything and then i won the #english award AND the foreign language award for my grade. and apparently my teachers gave speeches b4 calling my name and i just wasnt #fucking there and i NEEDED that i needed it so bad. a speech about my academic worth in terms of the humanities instead of stem would have #made me feel so valued. and now ive been crying for like an hour bcs im so pissed at myself for not fucking going #anyway. ap lang exam tmr so i have to get some sleep. gn guys <3 #vent in tags #vent post

[noxtivagus]

I LOVE FINAL FANTASY SO MUCH

#🌙.rambles #coping mechanism!!!! all left i have to do for school this week is just smth easy for math :] then after that it's the weekend n all #i will use fiction ! as an escape ! wooooo . my thoughts are suffocating. n i am so goddamn tired c: #fuck i am so tired of being trapped in my mind n being bind down by my past n everything. just everything #wait i feel like crying why is dynamis playing god i love ff sm.... i am actually crying rn it saved me. it really saved me back then. n no #i am such a goddamn slave to sentiment. to nostalgia. to memories n the past n everything i have lived through. it all means sm to me n #that's one reason why it hurts. i love it all so much but it's so fleeting it hurts.... oh this is bad i am actually crying a lot right now #how do i carry it all? how do i remember it all? i can't die i can't forget i can't deny all these bcs as much as it hurts #it reminds me that i'm alive yk? these memories these words serve as proof that. in the past. once upon a time it really was real #n the concept of reality is something i'm so weak to bcs it feels so lonely in my inner worlds #oh despite all this pain i'm still soft at heart huh. i'm crying so much. #so much thoughts i have. that i don't know how to write. but i try so much to share what i can despite how afraid i often get #when you live a life i have. in these worlds i have. in my head. it's so lonely. it's so so lonely #n. god ffxiv makes me so vulnerable in a way that. fiction is something that's. i really grew up with it being #sometimes even stronger or more present than my own reality #i've always loved the stars too. the moon. celestial beings. everything i've read in those books; whether it be fiction or non-fiction #but always. always something far from my reach. so to have something so real to be a part of #wait i'm crying even more i remember again HAHA fuck wait listening to dynamis rn is making me even more emotional #hermes as a character. i feel like he felt like he didn't belong. he wanted answers. to be understood. to understand. #n we're so similar in that regard. n i'm so weak to those sort of similarities yk? it means sm to me when i've always felt so different #ffxiv here is. it's fiction. so i can freely lose myself here. fly as high as i can without fear of. idk. maybe the #vulnerability n ephemerality of reality...? it's so beautiful. it really is n i wonder if i ever really belong there #sob i realize. there. i've been so accustomed to always reaching out futiley to something i can't have. does not exist. or yeah #reaching out to a past i cannot relive. just to remember again how it was exactly in those moments. or a future i'm uncertain of #or the present. which i'm not ever quite sure about what exactly it is. or what's going on. or myself. #understanding. understanding.... until i understand all i can of this world n finally accept that i too am living n real. i won't give up. #there's so much to life that will forever be left undone. i'll do as much as i can. so i can hold unto my humanity. unto reality. im crying #i did not expect to cry so much tonight;;; but maybe i still underestimate the pain i carry. i deserve too the kindness that i give others #because i'm human too. i'm young. n i know what that means to me. sm thoughts sm words it hurts sm im crying. but fuck that i'm still alive #i'm so confused i'm so lost. on what really is my reality. on who i am. god it's so overwhelming i don't know where to start it hurts .

[posterprophecies]

.

#im going to kms i didn't pass a unit test. physically cannot articulate how much i want to break down rn #GOD!!!!!! I HATE MATH I HATE MATH #IT MAKES ME FEEL SO STUPID FOR TRYING #2 seconds away from crying but i cannot. #me sending a politely owrded email to the proctor aka calling the suicide help line #PLEASE why am i so affected by bad grades. #i ldo not care abt anything in the world but when i get one bad grade boom. self worth gone. #not even gonna put this under my saying stuff tag i just need to shout this to the void

[roseband]

.....also i had to have a conversation with michael last night in the middle of this bullshit that was like "yeah no shit you're worthy of ur job and income level" (he and i are one promotion (either of us) from jumping from middle to upper middle class status with household income)

cuz like i do not know what his trash parents have said to him

but like "im not smarter than others.....im not that good at math so i dont deserve"

my dude, we met at a math specialized hs, you were good enough at math at the math school to have the math assistant principal write your recommendation letters for ur college level math school, and u literally took all the math and physics offered at the math high school because u were just that good at math???? and.....you took what usually is college sophomore math, as a hs junior, ur fucking good at math, shut up lmao

#personal #man him saying hes not smart is like me during my nervous breakdown post architecture school #saying my 150+ iq (formally tested) ass wasnt smart lmaoooooooo #except this is him getting NEGGED by his parents....dont neg ur fucking smart ass son weirdos? #i took all the art offered at the math school.......i can have an 'im not that good at math' cry lol #(but i am decent at math im just not my dad level at math so i will forever feel bad at math but he was MIT) #((like having ur dad go to MIT and also be a math assistant prof at MIT makes u feel bad about ur above average math skills lol)) #((should have used it for something more respectable than being a dummy graphic artist lolz))

[watering-plastic-plants]

not even as a joke i think i have math trauma

#not like middle school down but anything beyond my brain shuts down and i start like shaking #it's so bad #i would like to know (and like) maths because like it's important and stats are so important in research #but i find it so incredibly difficult and the fact that it doesn't come easy to me makes me feel like a fraud #i got way too far without knowing these things. how did i get here? #this is late middle school/early high school shit and im doing a literal msc and cant figure it out #not paying attention doesnt help but i physically cannot focus on it it's either distractions or crying #this is so silly lmao but i genuinely see those big Es for sum and start tearing up. integrals too. some equations. most greek letters that #i dont see in basic physics #silly silly but sad #rambles

[daybreakstorm]

ok yeah i made a mistake saying i was coming back too soon maybe in another month

#personal #not kpop #so uh guess who's finally in panic mode for the exam #its in 3 wks i literally ahve been procrastinating on studying for A YEAR #also america your units are bad and you should feel bad #/hj #but no rly even my textbook says we should switch to metric bc it makes more sense for percentages and such #i just suck at math and ounces make me cry #why are there 3 different ounces and none of them have any easy relation to each other

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

me, has had a horrible migraine for the last hour in my math class, to the point that I can't focus and forgot what 6x5 was:

the huge thunderstorm that is supposed to be over my city for the next ten hours: *cackles evily*

#migraines #i fucking hate my brain #i cant even do anything about it for another hour because i dont have any painkillers with me #and i dont have a license (or money to take the bus #which would probably be a sensory nightmare in of itself) so i cant go home and do my typical migraine routine #i have to wait for my dad to go on his lunch break and come pick me up #and my math class has florescent lights which ie making it ten times worse #im trying so hard not to cry from how bad it is cause that will just make it even worse

[vote2]

:0

#i got a 92 on my last math test. that i did before spring break and havnt looked at it since because i was so convinced i completely #bombed it. because i wanted to start crying in class. thank god i have an 83 in the class now. #the final exam is cumulative though so like. i will be barely passing that depending on like. mm #she makes review packets i will do that when it comes to that. i do like her just ouh things are difficult for me often times #awesome. anyways i dont understand last class at all. start of polynomial functions but also i was falling asleep in class. #i feel bad when i do but i just crash near the end of class i need to start bringing a snack