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patchworkofstars · 4 years

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How (Not) to Meet Your Soulmate

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Relationships: Prinxiety and Logicality

Words: 4,082

Synopsis: It's moving-in day at college, and soulmates Logan and Patton are looking forward to finally meeting in person after years of writing each other messages on their skin. Their friends Roman and Virgil, however, just can't seem to do things the easy way!

** Thanks to: **

@lovelylogans for the Secret Santa wishes that inspired this fic in the first place

@metaphoricalpluto for helping me brainstorm ideas, listening to me rant, and generally being an awesome and supportive bean

@painfullybisexual for going above and beyond in helping me understand how US colleges work

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

“How”, complains Roman, “Is anyone meant to fit all their outfits into a shoebox like that?” He waves a frustrated arm at the tiny closet the college has provided, then glares at the three cases worth of clothes on his bed. The pile steadfastly fails to reduce.

“I managed it okay!” the room’s other occupant points out cheerfully, smiling over from where he’s pinning photographs of family, friends, and various cute animals haphazardly onto a cork notice board.

“I meant anyone fashionable", Roman amends, flashing his childhood friend and now roommate a grin to show he means no malice.

Patton giggles, reaching to pin another photo, then drops it with a sudden squeal. Grabbing a bright blue pen from his desk, he flings himself joyfully onto his bed, all else temporarily forgotten in favour of the neat indigo text rapidly appearing on his arm.

Roman rolls his eyes. “What time is your date with Logan?” he asks, once Patton has finished replying to his soulmate and flopped back onto his bed with a contented sigh.

“Four o’clock, at the fountain in the main quad”, Patton says, a dreamy look in his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m finally going to meet him face to face!”

“Yes...” Roman busies himself cramming yet more outfits onto the already overstuffed rail in his closet, while studiously avoiding looking at his own, conspicuously bare arm.

“Have you arranged when you’re gonna meet Virgil yet?” The question was inevitable; it’s not Patton’s fault that Roman was hoping not to hear it.

Roman pauses in the act of hanging up a prince costume he's sure he'll find an essential use for at some point. "We're thinking of meeting tomorrow instead", he replies, keeping his tone light. "Virgil's stressed about moving in and navigating the new place, even with Logan around, and we figured after all these years we can survive another day apart."

“You don’t mind waiting?” Patton sits up, frowning, and Roman tries not to squirm under his gaze.

He grimaces. “Well, okay, I'm not thrilled about it, but I want to do what’s best for Virgil. And besides, now we’re on the same campus, there’s a chance fate might intervene.” He presses his hands to his chest, his expression morphing into the smile of an incurable daydreamer. “An encounter of destiny, unplanned, between two souls bound to each other! Doesn’t that sound so much more exciting than something planned?”

“Well, as long as it’s what you guys both want!” Patton smiles, uncapping his pen once more and drawing a heart on his arm. As soon as Roman turns away to continue unpacking, he bites his lip. Beginning a new message to Logan, he thanks the universe, not for the first time, that his soulmate and Roman’s are best friends too.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Logan finished unpacking over an hour ago, taking pleasure in carefully organising his small selection of semi-formal clothes and his more extensive collection of books. Now, he sits relaxing at his desk, reading information about the college in between messages too and from Patton.

Reaching the end of a paragraph, he glances once more at his left arm and notices a new stretch of blue ink dancing its way into being across the skin. He frowns thoughtfully as he reads the words. Hmm…

He looks over to where Virgil is lying back on his bed, surrounded by messy heaps of his unpacked belongings. His eyes are closed and he's listening to music on his headphones, shutting out the chaos and unfamiliarity of his surroundings. Still, Logan knows that exclusion doesn't extend to himself. They've been friends since middle school, and the neurodiversity that brought them together has given them a shared need for space and stability. Virgil finds organising his room a trial, so, on Logan's advice, he's pacing himself. First, he unpacked by dumping everything out of his bags, and now he's taking a break before tackling the more substantial chore of organising it all for the year ahead.

Watching Virgil twitch slightly to the beat of the music, Logan considers. Patton's concern is a reasonable one. Logan was surprised himself by Virgil's reluctance to meet Roman, and while he didn't press the issue at the time, his soulmate has offered a different perspective. Perhaps some subtle investigating is in order after all.

“Virgil”, he begins, to get his roommate’s attention, “Why are you delaying meeting Roman? I realise you find the prospect of meeting new people a stressful one, but surely you cannot consider Roman a stranger after so many years of communication with him?”

Virgil grimaces, opening his eyes and rolling over to face Logan. “Take a wild guess”, he grunts. “I’m putting it off because I know he’s gonna be disappointed. I’ve been able to make him think I’m cool and edgy in writing, but that won’t last two minutes in person when I don’t have all that extra time to think about what to say.”

Logan frowns. “I have never read any reputable reports of people being disappointed when meeting their soulmates. On the contrary, most studies have found a remarkable degree of compatibility between even those with markedly different personalities.”

“Tell that to my anxiety, L.” Virgil sighs, propping himself up onto an elbow. “It’s just a massive step, you know? Feels like too much to handle on the same day as moving in here.”

“Entirely reasonable.” Logan gives what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “It was not my intention to pressure you into meeting sooner. Still, I want you to know I am confident that when you do meet Roman, you will find him happy to accept every side of you, even the ones you struggle to accept yourself.”

“Maybe.” Virgil clearly isn’t convinced, but Logan decides to drop the topic for now. If he’s still refusing to meet Roman tomorrow, they can discuss the issue further then.

He glances at his watch. "I need to leave soon for my planned meeting with Patton. Will you be okay without me?"

“Already?” Virgil groans, flopping onto his back once more.

“We arranged to meet an hour before the new students' assembly to give us ample time for conversation." He hesitates, trying not to sound reluctant as he adds, "If you need to come with me, I am sure Patton will understand."

Virgil shudders. “Hell no, I don’t wanna watch you being sappy and weird. I’ll be okay. Probably turn my music up and kill time by organising some of my stuff.”

Logan nods. “A sensible idea.” Picking up his bag, he checks he has everything he wants to take with him, then takes a deep breath. “I will see you later. Please send me a text if you need me. I may not see it immediately, but I will be sure to check periodically in case.”

Hand on the door handle, he freezes abruptly as an unexpected wave of nervous adrenaline hits him. Distantly, he’s aware of Virgil asking if he’s okay, and he nods despite the way his heart is hammering in his chest. “Text me if you need me”, he repeats, the words a mantra of friendship. Then the handle turns, and he is on his way.

~~*~~*~~*~~

It’s 3:55 when Logan arrives at the fountain, his usual precise punctuality waved in the hope of seeing Patton's. He sits down on the curved stone seat, hands gripping the concrete to still their shaking as he scans the crowds moving around him. The walk across campus has helped to clear the nervous fog from his mind, but the way his heart is pounding, a less scientific thinker would say it was trying to escape his chest.

Wrapped up in these thoughts, he doesn’t notice Patton until the man is six yards away, his long stride rapidly closing that distance. Logan freezes, his heart continuing its thudding beat but somehow doubling the rate, and he has to force himself to breathe. He stands on shaking legs, his eyes fixed irresistibly on the figure now standing before him.

Patton beams down, all tan skin and cotton candy sweater. “Logan?” he asks breathlessly, and Logan’s head nods mechanically as he stares.

Patton's smile somehow widens even further, and he shakes his hands at his sides as if needing to expend some of his boundless excited energy. "I'm so happy to finally meet you! Face to face, I mean! Is it okay if I shake your hand? It sounds silly, but I kinda need to touch you so that I'll know you're really real!"

Something in Logan’s chest relaxes, letting him breathe more easily at last. “I assure you I am no illusion”, he says, smiling as he holds out his left hand.

Patton stares at it, then giggles, and Logan suddenly understands the metaphor of being hit by Cupid’s arrow.

“I forgot we’re opposite-handed!" Patton explains, holding out his own left hand to shake Logan’s eagerly. “I mean, I knew, obviously, but it’s somehow different seeing it in person. Like, now I really know, you know?”

"Indeed, observing for oneself is generally more impactful than hearing information secondhand.” Logan smiles up at him. “You are taller than I expected. For some reason, I assumed you would be approximately my height or shorter, although I now realise that was irrational of me."

Does he sound silly? Perhaps, but he’s unexpectedly overwhelmed by the feelings Patton is eliciting in him. They’ve been having written conversations ever since their soul connection formed, and over time a friendly intimacy has developed between them. Several years have passed since he became aware of the warm sensation thoughts of Patton bring to his chest.

But now, having the man standing before him, seeing his brown eyes sparkling with joy and excitement and the affection in his smile... Hearing his voice and the soft lilt of his accent... Logan has never felt so much all at once before, and it's sending his usually tidy thoughts swirling and scattering like papers in a sudden breeze.

Patton laughs, and the sound shoots another arrow of giddy heat into Logan's chest. "Guess we never thought to tell each other our heights, huh? I'm kinda glad I'm taller than you, though, wanna know why?"

“Why is that?” Logan asks, dazed.

Patton beams at him. "'Cause it means I can wrap you up in a great big hug like I've always wanted to! If you're okay with it, that is?"

Logan nods emphatically, finding his expansive vocabulary buried beneath the sudden lump in his throat. As Patton wraps strong arms around him and rests a warm cheek on his hair, his eyes prickle with what he’s confused to realise are tears. The sensation is so rare, it takes a moment for him to connect them to the glow of happiness spreading through him. With a contented sigh, he raises his own arms to hug Patton back, settling comfortably into his embrace.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Virgil sits on the edge of his bed, frantically bouncing one knee as he wonders if he should set out alone to the assembly. Deep in his spiralling thoughts, he startles hard when his phone buzzes with a text from Logan.

“Salutations,

Would it be possible for you to make your way to the event without me? I realise it may be selfish, but I am keen to spend as much time as possible getting to know Patton better. You are welcome to sit with us if we encounter you when we get there.

- Logan”.

Dammit. It’s what Virgil was expecting, but that doesn’t mean he’s happy about it. He hates both crowds and formal events, and the thought of walking into this combination alone causes bitter dread to pool in the pit of his stomach. Plus, going without Logan means he’s almost guaranteed to end up sitting next to total strangers. He shudders.

Still, he refuses to make Logan worry. Firing back a quick “I’ll be okay”, he puts his earphones in and tries to lose himself in the music as he makes his way across campus to the venue.

Head down, eyes fixed on the ground a foot ahead of him, he tries to forget just how many people are heading the same way he is. As he approaches the hall, he becomes vaguely aware of a loud voice talking nearby. The small part of his mind paying attention concludes it's a telephone conversation, since only one side can be heard.

“But you can’t just abandon me to sit on my own!” the voice wails. “What will people think?! Yes, I’m sure he is handsome and smart and wonderful, but bros before souls, that’s what I always say. Well, okay, maybe I’ve never said it before, but I’m saying it now! Yes, I know, I can hear him. You're right, his accent is cute. I can’t wait to hear my soulmate's- OUCH!!"

A flailing arm thuds into Virgil, who is nearly thrown off balance by the shock of the impact. He looks up, glaring daggers, to find the loudmouth scowling back with equal fury.

“Watch where you’re going, clod!” the overdressed stranger rants.

“Same to you, watch where you’re flinging your arms!”

"I'm having an important conversation-"

“What’s the point in waving your arms around when the person on the phone can’t even-”

They're interrupted by an official-sounding voice ringing out over a tannoy, reminding everyone that the assembly will begin soon and they should hurry inside and find seats.

The disparate parts of the crowd begin to converge, pushing into the hall, and Virgil and the loud stranger are carried along side by side in the flow. They find themselves pushed together to sit on the end of a row of chairs, and although Virgil is still annoyed, he takes some relief at having the aisle seat.

“How did I get stuck next to the emo nightmare?" he hears his neighbour grumble under his breath.

“Karma for being a nightmare yourself”, Virgil mutters, and the stranger at least has the decency to blush.

Their bickering might have continued indefinitely, but at that moment the MC steps up to the microphone to begin their welcome, and an unspoken truce descends.

*****

When at last it's over, Virgil sits back in his chair and sighs wearily. "That was even more boring than I thought it would be", he remarks to no one in particular.

Of course, the stranger beside him responds as though it were directed at him. “I’m surprised you heard any of it with your earphones in the whole time. I could hear your music all the way through!”

Virgil turns and raises an eyebrow. "Yeah? Well, maybe you wouldn't have if you hadn't been leaning over so close to me. You were practically on my lap!"

The stranger huffs, glaring back at him. “It’s not like I had a choice! It was the only way I could see past that mountain of a guy in front of me!”

“Well, sorry I didn’t realise you were so keen for a good view of some guy standing talking.” Virgil scowls. “So you could hear my music, huh? Is that why you kept tapping your fingers on your knee? Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“I didn’t realise you were paying so much attention to my legs! And besides, I defy anyone not to tap their fingers along to Panic! At The Disco!”

“Wait, you recognised it?” Virgil frowns at the thoroughly preppy-looking guy next to him. “I wasn’t exactly the mainstream stuff. I didn’t take you for an emo.”

“If you must know, my soulmate's an emo, and he introduced me to them. I might not share all his tastes, but as a theatre kid, I always appreciate theatrical flair."

Oh right, soulmates are a thing. Virgil gives a grunt that could mean anything, turning his attention away from the stranger's continued rambling. He watches as more and more individuals and groups make their way to the exits. All the freshmen are meant to be here, which means Roman must be somewhere amongst them. For the first time, he almost regrets never asking for a photograph or more detailed physical description. But he always feared Roman would expect the same from him in return, and then be disappointed or put off by his ever-present hoodie and black eye shadow.

It doesn’t help that the vague description he’s been given of “Tall, with brown hair and blue eyes”, could fit far too many of the students here, including the one tapping a foot and making impatient noises beside him.

With a sigh, Virgil stands up, switching his music back on and turning up the volume as he waits for a gap in the flow of bodies. As soon as one appears, he steps into it, letting himself be absorbed and carried away towards the door. As he moves away, he’s distantly aware of his former seat-mate speaking, but he’s too stressed, too busy trying to blot out the strangers surrounding him to think of looking back.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Roman sighs, flopping dramatically backwards onto his bed. It's been a long day, and he wants to relax, but his mind buzzes restlessly with frustration.

Patton sent a text to say he’ll be getting dinner at the dining hall with Logan, and while he did say Roman was welcome to join them, Roman has no desire to play third wheel, thank you very much. Besides which, he can't shake the petty resentment that his hopes of a destiny-driven encounter with Virgil have apparently been dashed. Instead, he got stuck with some other emo, who, while admittedly very cute, had the cheek, the absolute bare-faced audacity to zone out while Roman was speaking to him and then walk away without even a goodbye!

With a huff, Roman rolls over and glares at the time. It’s 7:15 pm, earlier than his and Virgil’s usual chat time, but he needs to feel connected to his soulmate right now. With a surge of misery, he realises he’s lonely, as well as more envious of Patton and Logan than he’d like to admit.

Fumbling in a pocket, he pulls out the red glitter gel pen he reserves for soul-to-soul talks, and writes “Hey, stormcloud, are you free?” on his left arm.

After a few moments, a spidery dark purple reply writes itself onto his right arm. “Yeah, wanna talk now?”

"Patton's off with Logan, and I need to vent!" He underlines "vent" three times, as emphatic in writing as he would be out loud.

“Is that all I am to you? A listening arm?” It’s followed by their own version of a “:P”, to show that Virgil is joking.

“Of course not, my shadowling! But I’ve had the most boring day, and I'm lonely~".

“Yeah yeah, Logan’s ditched me too, remember? Did you make it to the assembly? I looked for you”.

Roman groans, then does his best to reproduce the sound in writing. “Uggghhh, I did, and I got stuck next to the most annoying guy ever!”

“Hah! Can’t have, because the most annoying guy was sitting next to me. He kept fidgeting and getting in my space through the whole thing”.

Roman grins, standing up and moving to the sink, where he rinses the red ink from his arm to make space for more, Virgil must have the same idea, because a moment later the purple text begins erasing itself too.

“I wish I could’ve sat with you”, he writes, as soon as his arm is dry.

“Same”. There’s a pause, and then, “Kinda regret not meeting you today”.

Roman stares at the words, running his left hand unconsciously through his hair. Destiny might have denied him a chance first meeting, but if Virgil has changed his mind, there’s no reason for them to hold back any longer. Decision made, he uncaps his pen and writes “Want to meet now?” before he can lose his nerve.

The seconds tick by with no response, not a drop of purple ink appearing, and he begins to worry he’s misjudged Virgil’s feelings. Then, at last, three letters appear, small but undeniable:

“Yes”.

“Yes!!” Roman echoes in a yell to the empty room, leaping up and grabbing his jacket from the back of his desk chair. Then he hesitates, sitting back down on the edge of the bed as he realises he doesn’t know where Virgil’s room is. Or even if he’s there, for that matter.

Besides which, while Virgil did accept the offer, his reply wasn’t exactly enthusiastic. Best to make certain he really wants to do this first.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting”, Roman writes, adding a smiley face for good measure.

This time there is only a short pause before the words appear. “Yeah, the whole assembly thing made me wanna see you properly”.

Roman takes a deep breath, trying to still the tremor of excitement rushing through him. “Okay!” he writes back. “Want me to bring anything? I have a popcorn maker and every single Disney movie!”

“Seriously? You brought a freaking popcorn maker to college?”

“We always said we’d have movie nights when we finally met up, eating popcorn and talking all through the films!”

“You are so unbelievably extra”.

“You love it!”

“Yeah, I’m weird like that.”

“So, no popcorn?” Roman asks.

“Are you kidding? Of course bring popcorn!”

Roman grins.

*****

He takes his time making the popcorn, giving Virgil space to adjust to the change in plans. As he does, his thoughts drift to his grumpy seat-mate from earlier, and he remembers wincing as the guy picked at his chipped black nail polish during the endless speeches.

That gives him an idea…

“How about we paint our nails while we talk?” he suggests. “It’s relaxing and we’ll look good!”

“Sure”, appears on his arm. “I’ve only got black and purple though.”

“Fear not, my dark and stormy knight, I have every colour of the rainbow!” Roman grabs his makeup pouch and empties it onto his desk, separating out a selection of his favourites. These he puts back in the pouch, then it goes into his bag with the tub of popcorn.

“I’m ready to head out!” he writes on his arm. “Where’s your room?”

There’s a pause, then the address appears. But before Roman can lower his arm, Virgil adds, “Brace yourself for disappointment”.

“Why?” he writes back, frowning.

“I’m just… probably not gonna be as cool as you expect”.

“Don’t worry, I know you’re not as cool as me!” He replies immediately, then hesitates. Virgil has been vulnerable with him, and he should repay the honesty.

“I’m nervous too”, he admits, “But this is us, remember? We’ve spoken every day since we turned ten and our soul bond formed. We’ve listened to each others’ favourite music, watched each others’ favourite movies, and stayed up all night talking. We’ve shared our hopes, our fears, and our dreams. Even if we weren’t soulmates, you're my best friend, and I love you. Nothing's going to change that.

*****

It's a short walk across campus to Virgil's dorm, and nervous energy quickens Roman's strides. At last, he finds the right number door and gives a firm knock. Slowly, cautiously, it opens to reveal...

“You?!” Roman practically screeches.

“Seriously?!”

“I cannot believe this! Are you actually telling me you’re Virgil?”

“How many ginger-haired emos from Milwaukee do you think there are on campus?!”

“You’re Virgil...” There’s a pause as Roman’s expression visibly cycles from indignant, through dawning realisation, to settle on contrite. “Sorry about, you know...” He waves his arm, and Virgil raises an eyebrow.

“Sorry you clobbered me with your arm?”

“Well, yes… I was talking to Patton and didn’t notice you.”

“Yeah, I got that. Sorry I wasn’t, you know, watching where I was going.” Virgil looks down, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Look, I know I’m annoying. If you’re gonna leave, just go.”

Roman frowns. “Don’t be ridiculous. You might be annoying, but you’re my best friend! I came here to eat popcorn, riff on Disney movies, and hug you, and I’m not leaving until I’ve done all three!”

Virgil looks up, finally managing a lopsided smile. “You sure?”

“Of course! And besides, I bet I can be twice as annoying as you.”

With a snort, Virgil steps back, opening the door further to let Roman in. “Good to know fate made the two most annoying guys in the world soulmates.”

Roman grins. “Soulmates about to have the best evening ever!” he replies.

~~*~~*~~*~~ *~~

@creativity-killed-thekitten @the-prince-and-the-emo @shesavampirequeen @patton-in-name @pearls-of-patton @xxladystarlightxx @suyun-doo @softestlittlepuffball @evilmuffin @milomeepit @musikasworld @holy-anxiety-batman @quoth-the-sparrow @daring-elm @sandersfanders

#prinxiety #logicality #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #soulmate au #patchwork fic

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dedicatedfollower467 · 4 years

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you know what piece of media i really wish i could get into, but just haven’t been able to because the mere premise gives me hives?

leverage.

everything i’ve heard about leverage says i should adore it. most of my closest friends love leverage! everything i’ve heard about it says that it’s incredible! people always praise how well the characters are handled and how excellent the pacing is! the fanfic i’ve read for leverage (and yes, i have read fanfic for a show i’ve never seen) is brilliant and amazing and i’m very much in love with the ot3 of parker-hardison-elliot, i really like sophie, these characters just seem so good and fun and great!

and they spend the entire show pretending to be people they’re not and break into places they’re not supposed to go!

which sets of my secondhand embarrassment/panic button so easily that i basically can’t watch any spy/heist show ever. which. as far as i can tell leverage is just one spy/heist storyline after another.

and like, yes, these guys are good at their jobs, and i know a lot of other people who get secondhand embarrassment from spy-type storylines often don’t get it from leverage, i’ve talked with people who have the same issue and it seems like for most other people it doesn’t set their embarrassment/anxiety off.

but the conflict and tension in every episode (that i’ve seen) stems from “are they gonna get caught? are people going to figure out they’re not who they say they are?” and THAT’S the part i can’t handle.

like okay for example? i hate hate hate the part in star wars: a new hope where they dress up as stormtroopers. because it’s a heist/prison break/rescue, so the tension in that scene does come entirely from “are they gonna get caught? are they gonna get found out?”

but like. in star wars: the force awakens, i had no problems with finn pretending to be a big rebel resistance guy. because the tension was never “are they going to find out that finn isn’t actually resistance?” the tension was “is finn going to run away and leave them, or will he stay and help?”

and like. i love the good place! which you would think would be the epitome of “are they gonna get caught?” but it’s not, because the actual conflict in the good place mostly centers around “how is it possible that eleanor (and jason) got into the good place on accident?” (and also because chidi is freaking out about it enough that it gives me an outlet to be like “okay yeah, somebody else sees how dire this is, okay cool, i can roll with this”)

(also i knew enough about the premise of the show to be able to get through the couple of episodes of “is she gonna get caught” to “wait, what the heck is going on here?” because there’s like, maybe three or four of the “gonna get caught” episodes in the whole show before everyone’s caught up on what’s going on and starts to help each other out?)

it’s all about where the focus of the conflict is, not on how well or how poorly they pretend to be things that they’re not. and i can handle a little of it when there’s a promise of a bigger, different conflict further down the line. but when the entire premise of the show seems to be centered on “oh no are they gonna get caught?” i just straight up cannot handle that.

which pretty much means i’m never gonna be able to watch leverage.

because as far as i can tell, “are they gonna get caught” is the central tension of 90% of the episodes.

which really kinda bums me out, because other than, y’know the central premise and conflict of the whole goddamn show, it seems like a really cool story that i would love.

#leverage #i really wish i could watch it without the whole thing setting off my spidey-sense #but it just does!#but i want to watch it SO BAD!#but i CAN'T!

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mpmwrites · 6 years

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Thirteen

So @swota and I decided that we’d Take a HAnkvin prompt and I’d write Fluff and they’d write angst for it! Prompt from @beggars-blog for a seasonally scared Gavin! Here we go! Rated T for swearing and fake gore!

He hadn't been in a haunted house since he was a teenager. It wasn't that he was scared. He just figured, haunted houses were just college kids that took a temp job and dressed up in creepy costumes. All they did was jump out and scream at people or make startling noises and that wasn't really scary. Anyone would be scared if you startled them with unnecessarily loud noises. He wasn't gonna shell out the twenty bucks to walk through a dark building with cheesy props for fifteen minutes. Especially when, more often than not, you could even know what's coming based on some inevitable teenage blonde chick screaming her head off at every single scare.

So when Hank said they were going, obviously he gave a slow nod and a "Yeah, sounds fun." over his latte. Because it was Hank, and he wasn't about to sound like a cynical little bitch about some charity event the state police were doing. Cut to dinner on the patio at Chipotle when Gavin finally started to think about the evening's plans. Hank had not only invited him out, which wasn't really something they did, but had invited him to a function at others at the precinct would be going to.

Call him cliché, but going on a date to a haunted house was kind of a cliché move to get your date to be all over you.

Maybe he was thinking too far into it. It wasn't like he could back out anyway. Hank wanted to go and he had no real reason not to other than the fact that he'd probably leave in a bad mood of get thrown out for decking some asshole that screamed a little too close to him. Hank would find that funny, he thought.

That was not what happened.

The whole thing wasn't bad. It was a special cops-only night, so it was most people that he had at least the one thing in common with. Socializing before hand with old buddies of Hank's didn't hurt too much; they arrived about thirty minutes before they were allowed to line up and enter. Some teenager handed him an information pamphlet that he glanced over. Warnings about strobe effects and loud noises, don't touch the actors and they won't touch you, etc. On the back there was a promotional image titled "Triskaidekaphobia: Fear of the Number 13" with a list of fears below it. Hospitals, Death, Zombies, Torture, Blood, Clowns, Dolls, Darkness, Nightmares, Snakes, Spiders, Closed Spaces, Heights.

So that was what he was in for; it didn't seem so bad on paper. Maybe he wasn't so keen on hospitals, but it wasn't like he was afraid of them. Sure, dolls and clowns were creepy but, once again, what's an underpaid teenager yelling in his face really gonna accomplish? Closed spaces he'd never really liked, but it's not like they were gonna shove him in a closet and leave him there. As far as heights went, who wasn't afraid of heights? Were they gonna try to dangle him off a cliff? He was doubtful at best. He told Hank so.

"I don't know, it's for charity. I think for the special olympics." Hank shrugged, "Fowler made me come when I started becoming a shut-in…" Hank attempted without going into detail, "Now I'm just expected. It's usually not too bad. See some old friends, do some good in the world, scream a couple of times without looking crazy." It was nearing their turn to enter. Hank shook hands warmly with the officer wearing a police academy hoodie that reflected Hank's own and clicker-counting the participants. Their hands separated, but Hank's quietly found Gavin's and led the younger man inside. Gavin probably turned the shade of the blood on the walls of the first room. Because, Hank had not only taken him to an event with colleagues, but had bought him dinner first and was now nonchalantly holding his hand in front of all of them. Gavin wasn't thick, he knew that Hank wasn't ashamed of him, it was just that he didn't really think it was anyone's business. They stayed strictly in the friendly and platonic realms when outside of their homes, and they were both more than okay with that.

Until that night, apparently.

Unless, Gavin figured, unless Hank thought he might be scared. Maybe the whole event was more than it put off; after all, Hank had attended for the past several years. Maybe it was just dark inside and he thought they might get separated easily. Gavin didn't comment on the contact, just pulled on a façade of relative indifference

The walls of the first room had dimly-lit pastel wallpaper with generic looking sconces that flickered irregularly, and in the center of the room was a secondhand hospital bed with a young woman on it, her intestines artificially falling out of her abdomen as she writhed and screamed. Hank offered an amused smile as they and a few other patrons followed the path around the outside of the room. Suddenly, from a dark corner a chainsaw whirred to life noisily and a surgeon lurched toward the guests threateningly. Gavin scrambled slightly at the perceived threat, but the surgeon pulled away from the crowd and swing the chainsaw around to the girl and brought it down near the foot of the bed. The machine hit the mattress, but left no impact as they filed out of the room.

"Not scary, huh?" Hank offered, not letting go of the detective.

"Yeah, tell me that someone coming at you with a tool that could maim you wouldn't make you jump." Gavin snarked back. They entered the next room, which was more of a wide hallway, where a body lay in a casket against a wall of flowers. The body suddenly reaching for them was expected; the screaming actor hidden among the flowers they did not. Gavin cursed and suddenly was clinging to Hank's arm, which made Hank laugh heartily. Gavin glared at him. "Screw you."

"There's nothing wrong with being scared. That's the point, Reed."

"Anybody would be scared if someone jumped at them and screamed in their face when they weren't expecting it."He fumed, Hank lacing their fingers again as they stepped into the next room: a suburban home with the dad laying dead-eyed on the couch. His face was covered in fake blood. From behind a curtain, mom lurched toward him and started shambling toward him, dropping to her knees and fake feasting on his arm. "Haven't we moved past the zombie fad, like, 20 years ago?" Gavin rolled his eyes. At least the room passed without him embarrassing himself further. He pulled his hand away from Hank's, "I don't need you to hold my hand, I'm not scared." he insisted icily.

"Gavin, I wasn't…" Hank didn't pursue the subject, just offered a apologetic half smile. "Sorry." He stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets and lead on. Through the torture and blood rooms they stayed silent, unphased by the fake gore surrounding them. The masks of clowns covered the walls of the sixth room, fog machines making it difficult to navigate combined with the rainbow sheets hanging around. it only took the first squeaky horn right behind Gavin's ear to have him stumbling toward Hank. He couldn't see much of anything, but was aware that there was a vague path through the room, and he could hear footsteps of the clowns attempting to sneak up around them with those god-awful horns. He grabbed a fistful of the back of Hank's shirt to guide him through, the oddly sweet scent of the artificial fog making him want to cough it out of his lungs. As they neared the exit, he let go of the fabric and straightened, shaking his head at being so tense.

And then the fucking clown was in front of his face, separating him from Hank with its distorted mask and blood red smile around sharp fake teeth. He froze on the spot, just short of running straight into the actor. He stared them down, the knowledge that it was another cop under there helping to ease his anxiety. The clown slowly lifted the horn and honked it right over his shoulder, cackling maniacally before bouncing away. He breathed a sigh of relief and hastened out the door to catch up with Hank.

The dolls in the next room also lined the walls, but there was a chair in the middle of the blacklit room. The ventriloquist dummies eyes and cracks on the porcelain heads of baby dolls glowed eerily as an actress sat in the chair, taking with one of the dummies. She wasn't talking for the dummy though, the voice was coming from a speaker that echoed around the room. It wasn't so bad, until both the girl and the dummy snapped their heads up unnaturally to stare at them, slowly revolving their heads to watch as they walked by. It was creepy, and Gavin scowled at them before looking away.

Through the darkness room (which was just a winding hallway with literally no light) they had to run their hand along the wall so they didn't get lost, as per a speaker giving directions in a raspy whispered voice. It wasn't awful until the pathway sloped downward and then became soft, causing the person behind Gavin to trip and knocking him into Hank face first. The nightmare room wasn't much, just projections of shadows in the woods and a man pretending to have an awful night's sleep. Beneath the bed another actor dressed as a monster would shake the bed to startle people as they walked by. The hall that held snakes and spiders were mostly just uncomfortable; clichéd fake noises playing as they walked though hanging rubber snakes and cobwebs, featuring a giant furry spider attached to one of the walls at the end.

A young woman grimaced and squealed behind Gavin as they navigated around the spider and then turned a corner. He tried to recall what was supposed to come next, because for the most part he was just ready to be done. It wasn't long before he found out. There was a loud, tinny nose over the sound of a motor running. It sounded like a engine powered vacuum. Before them was a hallway that had air-filled chambers on the sides, so that people had to push through the tunnel airbags. Gavin stopped in his tracks.

Closed Spaces.

People behind them were making vague noises of dissent at not moving, and Hank frowned at Gavin in confusion. Gavin seemed to overcome his initial wariness and stepped out of the way, letting people walk past him. When Hank realized he wasn't coming he turned back to the younger officer's side. "What, did you leave the oven on or something?" he joked.

"Hank I can't walk through that." He admitted quietly, not meeting the other's gaze. Hanks brows furrowed quickly at the younger's tone.

"Gav, I don't think there's another way to go. You have to, or we go all the way back." He offered, looking around for help. Gavin looked back at the tunnel and swallowed.

It wasn't a closet. He just had to walk straight through and he'd come out the other side. Some irrational voice inside of him insisted that it could be a dead end and he'd be stuck in there.

"I'll walk with you okay? You can close your eyes if it helps." Hank insisted helplessly. His tone mustered Gavin's courage, his pride not wanting Hank's effort to go to waste and wanting to prove that he wasn't that kid that got abused in foster care as a grown teenager. Hank pulled off his own hoodie and put it over Gavin's head, letting Gavin negotiate the arms while he arranged the hood low over Gavin's eyes. "It's just air and a couple of bed sheets. Can't hurt you." He walked in front of Gavin, holding on to Gavin's wrist to guide him, and then they entered. The gentle but insistent pressure on Gavin's shoulders was enough that he couldn't pretend to be anywhere else, and he walked so close to Hank that he kicked at Hank's heels with each step. The smell of Hank on the sweater he was nearly drowning in made him think of the comforter on Hank's bed and he tried to think of that instead of this hell he felt like he was in. He was going to come out the other side. Hank would make sure of it.

He craved fresh air but was rewarded with none as Hank dragged him away from the polyester walls of the tunnel. Gavin let his back hit the black painted ply board wall of the maze and tried to focus on the semi-open space around him. They were still inside the building. Hank stood in front of him, shielding Gavin from view of the other cops passing by. "You alright?" he offered. Gavin rubbed his eyes to alleviate some of the stress just before his name was called,

"The hell are you doing here, Reed?" It was Tina and her husband, holding hands and smiling.

"Literally hell." He groaned, blinking at her. She looked confused for a moment, then looked to the tunnel behind her,

"Oh god I'm so sorry. I would have warned you." She cooed, rubbing his shoulder. "You did it though."

"I did." He offered warily. "With Hank." He pushed himself away from the wall and pushed the sleeves of the sweater up to his elbows. Tina looked between them and offered an indulgent smile for Gavin, then a look of gratitude to Hank. Hank shrugged it off. The moment grew awkward in its silence, so Tina broke the tense air with a smile,

"Well, one room left I guess. Seeya after? We should get drinks."

"A drink sounds awesome." Gavin conceded, smiling as the married couple went on ahead. Gavin joined the slowly moving line toward the last room, the door with a curtain covering it, letting out a bout of cool light as each person passed though. Hank queued behind him and let his hands rest on Gavin's waist

"I didn't think you were scared. I just wanted to hold your hand." He admitted in an offhand kind of way, like it wasn't important. Gavin craned his neck to look up at Hank,

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Hank nodded, "If I knew you were gonna hate it I wouldn't have made you come. We could've watched a movie instead."

"You didn't make me come." Gavin shrugged. "You asked me on a date and I agreed." Their turn was fast approaching.

"I never called it a date." Hank reminded him as Gavin pulled the sheet open to go inside. No wonder people were moving so slowly. The small room was only eight or so feet deep, but the path across was a one foot wide plank that people were balancing on. Fear of Heights. As Gavin waited his turn to cross, he looked around the room. It was an illusion of a deep gap, albeit a convincing one. The "plank" they were to walk across wobbled just slightly with each weight shift, but it wasn't quite over a long fall. On either side of the plank there were mirrors reflecting an image from the ceiling that was made to look like a hole. While he was quite aware that it was an illusion, he still found it difficult to feel secure on the pathway.

Hank entered behind him and grabbed for his hand, "What the fuck?" he barked, looking straight down. It was Hank's turn to be afraid, his fear preventing him from noticing the illusion.

"It's not real." Gavin reminded him, holding Hank's hand, "Look it's just an illusion. You can't fall." Still, Hank hesitated before moving toward the younger. Gavin watched him totter on the platform, unsure with each step. It seemed silly to him, but he'd also nearly just had a panic attack while Hank watched. He reached his other hand, "It's only two more steps." he assured as Hank watched his feet warily. "You gonna let a couple of mirrors show you up?" He taunted with a smirk. Finally, they reached the end and stepped back out into the late afternoon sun.

Gavin breathed in deep as the state officers thanked them for coming. He was suddenly very aware that he was still draped in Hank's hoodie as they ambled back toward the area in front of the attraction in search of Tina. Gavin made to pull out of it as they walked and tried to pass it back over to Hank. "You can hold on to it." Hank offered, and Gavin stopped in his tracks.

"Why?" He questioned, still holding out the Garment.

"If you want to wear it, you can hang on to it. I don't mind seeing it on you. You wear it at home often enough." He pushed it back toward the brunette.

"Hank Anderson, this isn't an old movie. You can't ask me to go steady just by letting me wear your letterman jacket." Gavin defied with a shit-eating grin.

"You think I want to go steady with you?" Hank asked, and, yeah, at that point they were both a little too stubborn to have a serious conversation about this.

"I mean, you did hold my hand and take me on a date to a place I was pretty much guaranteed to be pretty close and personal." Gavin batted his eyelashes for extra sarcasm, but Hank didn't see, because he was kissing Gavin, right there, in front of at least fifty other police officers. Many of them that they knew personally. Good god, come Monday everyone would know.

So make sure you go check out @swota‘s companion piece here!

My prompt box is always open!

#hankvin #hank x gavin #detroit become human #fanfiction #prompts

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litsy-kalyptica · 6 years

Text

Loves of My Life

Of polyamory and single fatherhood. (1/?)

AHamilton: My son takes first priority in my life —always from the day of his birth to the day of my death. But if I wasn’t otherwise occupied by my Pip, I would pass the bar in only six months.

And his class partners had not liked him much after that introduction.

But they were in this for the long-run now, bunched together either by fate or the whims of a professor not one of them had seen in person. Five in total, but Alex couldn’t remember their names beyond a slew of arbitrary usernames.

He wondered if he maybe could’ve helped himself by giving his name in that first response. He’d staked his claim on mastery of the program to faceless classmates without even giving his name! That would be it.

Alexander had posted to the discussion board three days ago, and still no response. No one had posted anything yet. Alex wasn’t sure whether he was more worried that his group was avoiding him, or that he’d been bunched with a group of slackers!

Probably the latter.

His phone rang. MARTHA. He flipped it open, pushing down the rush of anxiety. Calm down, Alexander. There’s no telling that she’s calling with bad news.

“Alexander?”

“Hey, how’s my boy?”

“Oh, he’s doing just fine. He’s lying on the sofa, almost falling asleep on his picture book. Poor thing can barely keep his eyes open. Tired and hungry.”

“Okay, tell him I’ll be back soon.” He was already closing his laptop. “Don’t give him any snacks unless they’re on the approved list. He can have some orange juice.” He slipped his hefty laptop into his satchel and chucked the cold coffee into the trash on his way out of the shop. “I’m three blocks away. Ask him to start counting, unless he’s too tired to count to twenty.”

“Will do, honey. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

Alex tucked his phone back into his jeans and ran a hand over his burning eyes. He had lost track of time again. He’d gotten out of work at five, and wanted to get a bit of coursework done at the cafe before he got home, but suddenly five became seven, and seven became nine. And he was going to miss Pip’s bedtime.

“He’s asleep.”

Alex nodded and stepped quietly inside. In the warm glow of a side table lamp washed over his small son curled into an impossible position on the sofa. How could he have been comfortable like that? Alex tried to pick him up in a such a way that wouldn’t awaken the boy.

He held Pip close against his chest. He’d always adored this boy, but he’d been feeling especially sentimental lately. It was Friday. On Tuesday, Philip would be starting school. Alexander wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

Ideally, father and son wouldn’t spend more than six hours apart at a time. Alex was lucky enough to work within six blocks of the apartment building, and George always brought Pip for lunch. It was always the highlight of his day, and Alex told himself that it was all for Pip’s sake more than his own.

“Thanks again, Martha.” He shifted his hold on his son a bit, trying to keep his computer and the small child from dropping to the floor. His poor laptop would have to go first. “And next time, feel free to call me earlier.”

“I know you’re busy.”

“I’m never too busy to miss Pip’s bedtime.”

She smiled and headed into the kitchen. Alex heard the water running at the sink. “Good night, Alexander.”

“Good night.”

Alexander lived down the hall from the Washingtons, so home was just a short walk away. But even on this very brief journey, Pip started to shift a bit in his arms, face rubbing back and forth against Alex’s shoulder as he started to wake up. “Daddy?”

“Look where we are, Pip. We’re home.” He was just coming up on the door, and kissed his son’s head through a bed of dark curls.

“Time?”

“Bedtime.”

Pip sighed and tucked his head back against Alex’s neck, only to giggle through his exhaustion. “Your neck is itchy, Daddy.”

“Oh no. Pip, I think you need to help me shave.” He dug his key out of his pocket.

“I don’t know how.” He seemed to genuinely lament his inability to help with this.

Alex laughed. “You’re a fast learner.”

Alex got Philip through his evening routine, and the four-year-old climbed into bed a half hour later than usual, but Alex easily relented to reading him a bedtime story. “But only ten minutes tonight.” He set the timer to vibrate against his lap. Pip settled under his green wool blanket, and Alex read aloud from a secondhand copy of James and the Giant Peach.

He always did the voices. It sometimes hurt his throat, but it always made Philip smile.

Pip was asleep by the time the timer went off, but he still gently tucked the boy in and kissed his head, turned the nightlight on, and left the door cracked just a little bit open.

Alex thought that Pip would be just as nervous about school starting as he was, so he dedicated the weekend to doing all sorts of fun things. Most of it was at home: they drew and colored, put together puzzles, read together. They went out to the library and Alex took out eight books at Philip’s request, and carried to heavy stack back to the apartment.

Sunday was usually a day for rest at home, and the only day of the week Philip was allowed to watch TV on his own, while Alexander got some work done in advance of the long week ahead. But they would both be home for Monday, so Alexander pushed that time off a little, and they went to the park after breakfast.

George and Martha would often take Philip to the small asphalt park in the neighborhood, but Alex splurged on a trip to Central Park, followed by a lunch out and a movie in the theater.

Pip was already on the jungle gym by the time Alex sat on a nearby bench. Pip had no trouble making friends. He ran around on the playground with a group of two other boys, both white, and one little black girl. Pip seemed especially friendly toward the girl.

Alex caught the man sitting next to him watching the same group of children as himself, and he smiled. “What I wouldn’t do to have that… again,” he added as an afterthought.

The stranger smiled. “Which one’s yours?”

Alex pointed at the mop-headed ray of sunshine as he ran past the slide, nearly slipping on the woodchips. “Philip, be careful!” But he had a bright grin on his face. “Light of my life.”

“I know the feeling.” Shortly after Philip climbed up the steps to the slide, the same girl with whom he’d been playing came racing up after him, and in a similar childlike fashion she nearly slipped right off.

“Theo!” The man that had previously been sitting next to Alex suddenly rushed over. But the girl, Theo, was all smiles and quickly resumed the game of tag. The man took a slow step backwards, watching after her, before returning to the bench with some uncertainty.

Alex decided to help him lighten up. “They look like they’re having fun. Your daughter?”

“Yeah.” He laughed but without any humor behind it. “I wish sometimes she’d take a moment to slow down. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

Alex couldn’t blame him there, but couldn’t help but think it might be better for both of father and daughter if he could relax a little. He almost voiced as much, but his brain short-circuited when he realized he’d lost track of his son.

“Philip?” he called out, starting to sit up. This seemed to get the other father’s attention, as well, and he stood to join him as Alex set off closer to the playground. “Philip? Pip? Where’d you go?”

“I’m here, Daddy!” Pip popped out from behind one of the walls of the playground set. “Hide-and-seek!”

Alex laughed off his peaked anxiety and ruffled his son’s hair. “Okay, but you can’t be hiding from Daddy, right?”

“Right!”

“How’re you feeling?”

“I’m good!”

“You’ll sleep well tonight.” He laughed, more genuinely this time. Pip giggled and scurried off into the slide as Theo rounded the corner.

Theo’s father was still standing next to him, and Alex caught back up with where they were a minute ago. Only a minute, he thought. “She’ll be fine.”

The man didn’t say anything.

“I’m Alex.”

“Aaron.”

“Nice to meet you.” Alex watched their children playing together some more. The other kids had wandered off to other games. It was just the two of them left in their game.

“We’ll have to arrange a playdate.”

Alex smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9…”

Pip let a breath out on ten; slowly, as the doctor had taught him. “You’re getting better at this,” Alex noted with a smile, tucking the inhaler back into his bag.

“School starts this week, Daddy. I’ll carry it myself.”

Alex hummed quietly. Two more days. He just wanted to enjoy it, wanted both of them to enjoy it while they could.

It was around noon, and Alex and Pip sat under a tree so the boy could nap in the shade. Pip used his father’s shin as a pillow —“The boy could sleep anywhere, in any way,” Alex noted— so Alex could pull his laptop out and do some work while his son slept. The less he had to get done during the week, the more time he could spend with Pip in the evenings.

There were two new posts to the group forum: both from the same person, both on the topic he had posed to the group. Alexander was suddenly ecstatic and eager to reply. He looked over the thread. The first post responded directly to his first question (and, Alex would admit, rather intelligently), but the follow-up had less to do with the content Alex had presented.

ABurr: Alexander —you present an interesting argument here, but I get the sense you’re trying to outdo the rest of us at something. Call it a hunch, call it truth, but the way you’ve already been speaking to us on here you seem to think you’re better than the rest of us. Let’s agree to all stay on equal footing in this. I understand, and admire, your resolve to get ahead, but I ask that you make sure it doesn’t amount to showing off.

#hamilton #elams #lams #hamliza #213 slutty slutty years

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honey-booty-chips-blog · 7 years

Note

hi! just thought i'd say that i love your blog & it's super funny - also the admins seem so nice & friendly ʕ ᵔᴥᵔ ʔ could i maybe request something like the rfa + minor trio finding out that the mc's a good dancer? (maybe street dance in particular?) i had a sudden thought of zen at an rfa house party like 'haha you'll never beat me at a dance game... but you're welcome to try' and mc just wipes the floor w/ him in front of everyone;; of course you don't have to, but thanks in advance if you do!

holy shit?? we would die for you??? you are so nice and friendly?????we love the humor and the creativity in this request… so much… and we love you, anon…

YOOSUNG

yoosung knows you didn’t much care for LOLOL

or any of his video games, really

but he still wants you to experience that Hashtag Gamer Lyfe

so he takes you out on a date to the arcade

you pass on the fighting game, the racing game, and the claw machine

but you’re really adamant about playing dance dance revolution

yoosung was a self-proclaimed DDR expert as a kid so he immediately takes you up on the challenge

“butterfly” is his jam and he’s not about to let anyone take that away from him

he sees that he was doing pretty well until he looks over at your screen and

HOLY SHIT YOU HAVEN’T MISSED A STEP

W H A T

you don’t even break a sweat but yoosung is Dying

rip yoosung

he definitely calls zen later that week and asks him for dance lessons

ZEN

zen never likes to think he’s better than you at anything

but the moment you bring up your love for dance at the RFA get-together at yoosung’s house !!!

he is ready to [lovingly and cautiously] Fight you

yoosung happens to have one of the just dance games and the contest is ON

zen is incredibly good and hardly misses a beat

(he has the game at home shhh)

distractions everywhere!!!

he would definitely try to grab your ass while you were dancing to get you to mess up

but in the end, he knows he’s no match for you

jumin jumps up like a sports fan whose team had just scored when he sees zen get four stars compared to your five stars

zen’s.. pretty cheesed off about it

but he DID like that look you gave him near the end as your hips swayed and your—

oh shit would you look at that

it’s the B E A S T

JAEHEE

it was just going to be One Of Those Days for jaehee

she loved running her very own café with her very own favorite person

but getting up early got to her sometimes

as jaehee started loading up the case with pastries, you suddenly blast a song over the speakers

jaehee is confused at first

until she turns around and sees you skidding around the kitchen with a spoon as your microphone

you expertly dance your way over to her, stopping every once in awhile to dramatically mouth the lyrics

jaehee is in tears from laughing so hard but she is also extremely impressed with how smoothly you move

she’s finding it hard to get the coffee machines ready but she can’t really bother to be mad when she has you grinding up next to her

she is in a much better mood after that

you get on top of the counter at one point

“MC THAT’S UNSANITARY”

JUMIN

C&R parties are never fun

jumin hates the pressure and attention, as do you

but luckily for you, there is not only a lot of alcohol but a dance floor at this particular C&R event

the champagne,,;; really gets to you

at first, you’re just vaguely flailing around the dance floor

you’re not even sure what genre of song is playing??

jumin is just

kind of??? swaying????? next to you

suddenly your favorite song comes on and you just go wild

your dancing is pretty phenomenal for being Hecka Drunk

jumin is not quite sure what he’s witnessing but he knows he’s in love with it

why is he aroused by this

he even joins you

or. at least tries to

he doesn’t shut up about how stunning you looked while you were dancing the rest of the night

SEVEN

can we all agree that saeyoung dabs

like. this is an accepted fact right

one day you get tired of his dabs

and why is he still whipping 20-goddamn-17

you offer to spice up his realm of dance moves but every attempt at you actually trying to teach him anything involves

“y’all mind if i just. YEET”

“saeyoung please”

eventually you have to get hands-on

you put your hands on his waist and move with him

“move your hips like this—no like this”

he’s really trying to concentrate but he just realized how g o o d you are at dancing

you’re not even putting in any real effort but it just comes so naturally to you

he finds himself “““““accidentally””””” grinding into you once he gets the hang of it

sure jan

no more dabs for the meme boy

jihyun is the epitome of romantic ok

you guys are being huge dorks and slow dancing in the kitchen late at night

and yes you do have a spotify playlist called “late night kitchen dances”

you are literally so in love with him holy shit

he is so tall and warm and you can hear his lil heartbeat—

“IF YOU’RE NOT DRUNK LADIES AND GENTLEMEN (uh huh) GET READY TO GET FUCKED UP LET’S DO IT HAHA LMFAO (you know it) LIL JON (yeahuh)”

oh. my god

“jihyun i am so sorry i have no idea how that song got on there i just”

he’s cracking up over the whole ordeal

you guys end up dancing like a bunch of high schoolers who were given orange juice and told it was tequila

except you’re really good at it

jihyun is.. in lov

he can’t stop watching the way you move holy guacamole how do you do that

UNKNOWN

it’s saeran’s first RFA party and he is!!!

he is hanging in there!!! hoo boy…,,,

he’s just been hanging out in the corner the whole time

just. sipping on some punch or something

lonely emo boy

his anxiety is really getting to him until he sees you

you’re?? you’re street dancing to classical music

he may be a little uncomfortable with expressing his emotions but if there’s one person who could change that, it’s you

he even GIGGLES can u imagine

you’re pouring your heart into a dance routine that completely contrasts everything about the music playing but it’s still so precious to him

you eventually catch him staring and burst into laughter

but your dancing doesn’t cease and neither do his giggles

VANDERWOOD

saeyoung promised vanderwood that inviting you over would be a good chance for some “family bonding”

……………… whatever that meant

but you and saeyoung are uncomfortably alike when you’re together

vanderwood wonders how he manages to be so in enamored with you but utterly despise saeyoung

you and saeyoung are really…… going at it to this one EXO song

vanderwood is just sitting in the corner, trying to resist the urge to bash his head into the table from secondhand embarrassment

he has to ask himself how you both happen to have the routine memorized

he looks at saeyoung from the cracks between the fingers of the hands he has his face buried in

and then he looks over at you and he is immediately mesmerized

you’re easily better at this than saeyoung

you see him staring at you and you motion for him to come over

he shakes his head but he DOES take a video of you dancing

you’re just too cute

~ admin c & admin e

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #yoosung kim #zen #hyun ryu #jaehee kang #jumin han #707 #luciel choi #saeyoung choi #V #jihyun kim #unknown #saeran choi #vanderwood

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buykamagragoldonline-blog · 6 years

Text

Smoking

Overview

Fifty years ago smoking was thought of as a primarily male “pastime.” But in the decades since, women have just about closed the gender gap while at the same time experiencing dire health consequences, just like men. According to the most recently available statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2010, 19.3 percent of American adults (45.3 million people) smoke. Every year, smoking kills an estimated 443,000 people through smoking-related diseases, including lung and other cancers, heart disease, stroke and chronic lung diseases such as emphysema. Smoking has long been the leading cause of preventable death and disease among women. And, according to recent surveys, many women do not realize that lung cancer, once rare among women, surpassed breast cancer in 1987 as the leading cause of female cancer death in the United States. In fact, it has been proven that smoking can cause disease in nearly every organ of the body, in women as well as men. The list of diseases caused by smoking has been expanded to include abdominal aortic aneurysm, acute myeloid leukemia, cataract, cervical cancer, kidney cancer, pancreatic cancer, pneumonia, periodontitis and stomach cancer. These are in addition to diseases previously known to be caused by smoking, including bladder, colorectal, liver, esophageal, laryngeal, lung, oral and throat cancers, chronic lung diseases, coronary heart and cardiovascular diseases, as well as reproductive effects and sudden infant death syndrome. Smoking also harms many aspects and every phase of reproduction: menstrual function, oral contraceptive use, fertility, problems in pregnancy and giving birth to low-weight babies, among other conditions. In addition, smoking increases your risk of developing osteoporosis. Smoking is related to an increased risk for hip fracture as well, especially among postmenopausal women (studies have shown that bone mineral density and body mass are lower in smokers). Smoking also affects your appearance. Long-term smoking will cause your skin to wrinkle prematurely and lose its elasticity, your nails and teeth to turn yellow and your breath to smell foul. While smoking rates have fallen among women since 1965—33.9 percent of women were smokers in 1965, as compared with 18.3 percent in 2008—teenagers are still lighting up. According to the CDC, each day, more than 3,800 teenagers younger than age 18 smoke their first cigarette, and 1,000 teenagers younger than 18 begin smoking on a daily basis. Adolescents who smoke are generally less physically fit and have more respiratory illnesses than their nonsmoking peers. In addition, smoking by adolescents hastens the onset of lung function decline during late adolescence and early adulthood. Smoking by adolescents is also related to impaired lung growth, chronic coughing and wheezing. Why Teenage Girls Smoke Despite Known Risks With all of the negative publicity about smoking, why do so many women and teenage girls continue to smoke? Teenagers vastly underestimate the addiction potential ofnicotine. A woman who begins smoking when she is young will have a very difficult time quitting as she ages and becomes more concerned with the health consequences. It is well documented that there are social, political and economic forces that influence tobacco use, particularly among youth. A major factor influencing susceptibility to and initiation of smoking among girls, in the United States and overseas, is the tobacco industry’s long-standing (75 years or more) targeted marketing to women and girls. Tobacco marketers know that if they can hook children, these children are more likely to become lifelong customers. The tobacco industry spends more than $9.94 billion dollars annually in the United States to advertise and promote its products, including print media advertising (cigarette ads are banned from television and radio); distribution of free samples, cents-off coupons, T-shirts and other giveaways; movie product placements; cultural programs; donations to a wide range of national and local organizations; and political contributions to elected officials. Women’s Greater Vulnerability to Tobacco Some research has revealed that women might be more susceptible to the addictive properties of nicotine and have a slower metabolic clearance of nicotine from their bodies than men. Also, women seem to be more susceptible to the effects of tobacco carcinogens than men. Women also tend to smoke for different reasons than men, citing more emotional triggers, such as relief of stress, anxiety, anger or depression. Smoking and Addiction Nicotine is what keeps smokers addicted to tobacco, and it doesn’t take long to get hooked. Nicotine is one of the most powerful addictive drugs—more addictive than heroin—yet it is also easily available and more socially accepted than other highly addictive substances. Nicotine is the addictive chemical in tobacco but most of the negative health consequences of smoking are caused by the other 4,800 chemicals inhaled when tobacco products are burned. Carbon monoxide is also produced. It becomes attached to the red blood cells and decreases the oxygen available to the body tissues. Nicotine’s effect on the central nervous system is what makes smoking pleasurable. Nicotine has a calming effect and can relieve anxiety, boredom and irritability. Nicotine also has a stimulant effect, increasing alertness and improving concentration. Within seven to 10 seconds of inhaling, your brain feels the effect of nicotine. Repeated inhalations maintain a steady blood level of nicotine. When you stop puffing, the blood level goes down. You light up again to deliver more nicotine to the brain. Pretty soon your brain and body consider it normal for you to have a certain blood level of nicotine. When that level goes down, you feel uncomfortable, irritable and unfocused. That’s withdrawal. Now you are addicted. You smoke to keep from going into withdrawal, and you may find yourself smoking more and more. Combined Effects of Smoking and Oral Contraceptives Smoking cigarettes while taking birth control pills dramatically increases the risk ofheart attack for women over 35. Smoking is far more dangerous to a woman’s health than taking birth control pills, but the combination of oral contraceptive pill use and smoking has a greater effect on heart attack risk than when each factor is considered alone. Smoking cigarettes while taking birth control pills increases a woman’s risk of having an ischemic stroke (three times more likely in pill users than in nonusers) or ahemorrhagic stroke (three to four times that of nonusers), according to a large World Health Organization study. Effects of Smoking on Reproductive Health and Pregnancy Smoking affects ovarian function and decreases the female hormone estrogen. If you are planning to become pregnant, cigarette smoking can impair your fertility by adversely affecting ovulatory and tubal function, egg production and implantation. Smoking may cause you to have irregular menstrual cycles. Women who smoke also have an earlier menopause, which may increase their risk of osteoporosis, heart disease and other conditions for which estrogen provides a protective effect. Nearly 11 percent of pregnant women continue to smoke throughout their pregnancies. If you smoke while you are pregnant, you are putting yourself and your unborn child at increased risk for complications. Risks of smoking during pregnancy include: complications from bleeding low-birth–weight babies increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) premature birth stillbirth placenta previa (the placenta grows too close to the opening of the uterus, a condition that often leads to Caesarean delivery) placental abruption (the placenta prematurely separates from the uterus wall) premature rupture of uterine membranes preeclampsia (a condition that results in high blood pressure and excess protein in the urine) reduction of the newborn’s lung function If you are a smoker and a nursing mother, it is important to know that nicotine is found in breast milk, and therefore enters your baby’s system. If you have children, your smoke puts them at risk, too. Secondhand smoke has been shown to make children more susceptible to infections, including colds and flu, ear infections and lower respiratory infections such as bronchitis and pneumonia. It also causes new cases of asthma, and it makes existing cases of asthma worse.

Diagnosis

Regardless of how much you smoke, you need to quit. Researchers now know that there is a strong family component to addiction. If you have a family history of addiction, you should be aware of the risk for developing dependency, especially during stressful periods in your life. The vast majority of smokers are addicted or dependent on nicotine. In addition to overcoming nicotine addiction, the quitting smoker must fight the actual habit of smoking, the behavioral activity of lighting up a cigarette so many times a day for so many years. For many smokers, smoking becomes associated with many daily activities (driving, talking on the phone, watching TV, for example) and often, these activities won’t feel right without the cigarette. For many women, there is an emotional dependence on smoking. Maybe you smoke when you are stressed or sad. All of these issues combine to make smoking a powerful adversary if you are trying to kick the habit. Even if you don’t smoke, but you live, work or socialize with smokers, your health is at risk if these people smoke indoors or around you. Secondhand smoking is the third leading cause of preventable death in the United States, killing close to 50,000 nonsmokers per year. Consider asking the person to “take it outside” and not smoke in your presence to protect your own health. Six Stages of Quitting There is strong scientific evidence that being able to successfully quit smoking is not a matter of luck or willpower or simply flipping a light switch—making one quick change or decision that transforms you suddenly from smoker to nonsmoker. One concept is that the struggle to quit smoking is a series of stages, with your success being dependent on determining what stage of change you are in. Psychologist James O. Prochaska and colleagues have developed a framework for the stages of change that people go through when trying to overcome an ingrained habit. These are described in his book, Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (Harper Paperbacks, 1995). Smokers can cycle through this predictable set of stages, often multiple times, until they achieve success: Pre-contemplation:You have never tried to quit or even considered giving up smoking. Contemplation:You are considering the need to quit smoking someday. You are waiting for something to motivate you or give you a reason to quit smoking. You are open to information and advice about quitting. Preparation:You are preparing to stop smoking. You have either reduced the amount that you smoke or restricted your smoking. You are considering what to do the day you quit smoking. You are planning strategies for coping with urges to smoke. Action:You are in the act of quitting. Congratulations! This phase includes the quit date and the first few months of quitting. Maintenance:You are a former smoker! Being off tobacco products for any amount of time is a tremendous success…and even smokers who have quit for years occasionally relapse to smoking. That being said, the first year after you’ve quit is an important landmark, which should be celebrated. Smoking cessation experts say your risk of returning to smoking is low at this point. Termination:The new behavior has become an integral part of your life to the point that the likelihood of relapse is almost nonexistent.

Treatment

For many smokers, it takes multiple serious attempts at quitting before they become lifelong nonsmokers. You may be successful on your first try, but if you aren’t, don’t give up. Cigarettes hook smokers in three powerful interlocking ways, each of which needs to be addressed when you are trying to quit: physical addiction habit emotional dependence Before 1985, cold turkey (quitting completely and in one step without cessation aids) was the only option for smokers. Today, smokers can take advantage of many effective medications or drugs and behavioral treatments. In addition, there are many successful cessation programs and materials (self-help and others) to help you quit. And as fewer and fewer people smoke, there is increasing social support for anyone trying to quit. Preparing to Quit: What to Do The first step in quitting smoking is making the decision to quit. The decision to quit smoking should not be taken lightly. It is a serious commitment and a serious challenge. But the rewards are worth the effort. Here’s how you can prepare to quit smoking: Make a positive decision to quit smoking.Avoid negative thoughts about how difficult it might be. Compare reasons to quit smoking with reasons to continue smoking; add to those reasons for quitting daily. Develop strong personal reasons, in addition to your health and obligations to others. For example, think of all the time you waste taking cigarette breaks, rushing out to buy a pack, hunting for a light, etc. Discuss the decision with your health care professional.Ask about the many medications available for quitting and which might suit your lifestyle and personal health profile best. Begin to condition yourself physically.Start a modest exercise program, drink more fluids, get plenty of rest and avoid fatigue. Many of the effects of nicotine, including stress relief, increased metabolism and mood and weight control can be achieved with exercise. Set a target date for quitting.This could be a special day such as your birthday, your anniversary or the Great American Smokeout. (The Great American Smokeout takes place each year on the third Thursday of November.) If you smoke heavily at work, quit during your vacation so that you’re already committed to quitting when you return. Make the date sacred, and don’t let anything change it. This will make it easy for you to keep track of the day you became a nonsmoker. Plan to celebrate that date every year. Prepare mentally for quitting.Have realistic expectations about quitting smoking before you begin. Quitting isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible either. Visualize yourself smoke-free in difficult situations. Let your friends and family know.Tell them in advance that you are planning to quit. They can provide helpful social support. You will likely experience withdrawal symptoms most severely during the first one to two weeks without nicotine. Understand that withdrawal symptoms are temporary. Be aware that this may be your hardest time, and use all your personal resources (your health care professional, your family and your friends) to get you through this critical period successfully. Symptoms of Nicotine Withdrawal Nicotine withdrawal symptoms are temporary sensations that result after reducing or stopping tobacco abruptly. They usually begin within 24 hours. You may experience four or more of the following: Depressed mood:In the first couple of weeks after quitting, many people experience mood changes. Regular aerobic exercise, adequate sleep and refusing to listen to thoughts that will keep you spiraling down may help you avoid these mood changes.People with a history of major depression may relapse when quitting smoking and people with current depression may actually be medicating themselves with the nicotine in cigarettes. A serious bout of depression can occur in someone quitting smoking. Feeling blue, sad, crying a lot, and losing interest in normal life activities are all symptoms of depression. If you feel these symptoms overtaking your life, you should see your health care professional promptly for diagnosis and treatment. Trouble sleeping (insomnia):Your brain chemistry is readjusting to new patterns without nicotine’s influence. Treat yourself to a hot bath, avoid caffeine in the evening or begin a relaxation or meditation routine. Get enough exercise every day so that you earn your rest. You may also need to have extra sleep while you are recovering, so go ahead and take a nap. You deserve it. A full seven to eight hours of sleep per day is optimal to help the brain chemistry stabilize. Irritability, frustration or anger:Planning ahead will allow you to pick the least troublesome period for your “quit week” when you need to avoid or minimize stresses and demands. Let those around you know and ask them to have patience. Practice your new stress coping skills before quitting so they are ready to use when you need them. Move away from a bothersome situation, take a walk or plan to avoid familiar aggravation, if possible, for several days until this period is over. Deep breathing exercises can help to calm your “on edge” sensations. Don’t set expectations too high at work or home during the first couple weeks after quitting. Anxiety:Common sensations after quitting tobacco, particularly in the first week or two, are a growing sense of anxiety, restlessness and overwhelming worry. But if you know what you are dealing with, you can have a plan to divert your attention, get busy doing some preoccupying task or talk with someone who cares. If the feelings of anxiety persist and are disabling and interfere with your life, talk it over with your health care professional. You may have a condition known as an anxiety disorder, which can be helped with medication. Difficulty concentrating:Nicotine stimulates the norepinephrine levels in the brain that affect the attention span, alertness and vigilance. Until your brain chemistry gets readjusted, it is difficult for many people to stay focused. Again, this is temporary. Restlessness:Part of this is due to missing the routine of lighting cigarettes and bringing them to your mouth hundreds of times per day. Your hands feel awkward and useless. Exercise can ease the agitation and restless feelings. Take a walk or get some other form of exercise. Weight gain:There are many reasons why people can gain weight after quitting smoking. The most important reasons are that nicotine stimulates body metabolism and suppresses appetite, so that with the same food intake and no increase in exercise some weight gain will occur. In addition, some people increase their food intake as well, eating instead of smoking. Without the dulling effects of cigarette smoke on taste and smell, food is more appetizing and you may eat more. If you are aware of these effects, you can take steps to counteract the risk for weight gain. Decreased heart rate:Nicotine is a significant stimulant to the heart’s electrical system and speeds up the heart rate. After quitting, the heart can slow down to the healthier normal pace. This is an effect that you are unlikely to notice. The good news is that within two to six weeks these symptoms will resolve and your brain will learn how to manage the balance of chemical messengers without nicotine’s influence. As your body begins to repair itself, you may feel worse for a short while. It’s important to understand that healing is a process that begins immediately and continues over time. Immediately after quitting, you may experience “symptoms of recovery” such as temporary weight gain caused by fluid retention, irregularity and dry, sore gums or tongue. You may feel edgy, hungry, tired and more short-tempered than usual. You may have trouble sleeping and notice that you are coughing a lot. These symptoms are the result of your body clearing itself of the effects of chronic nicotine and the other chemicals in cigarette smoke. Although most of the nicotine is gone from the body in two to three days, these symptoms will take longer to resolve. Critically Important: Know Your Triggers During those first critical weeks, be aware of situational triggers, such as a particularly stressful event or a social event where friends or family will be smoking. These are the times when you reach for cigarettes automatically because you associate smoking with relaxing. It is important to prepare yourself for these situations before they happen. There are several types of situations that put smokers at risk for relapse: A negative mood, such as feeling sad, anxious or stressed out: These feelings are particularly risky when you are alone. You may find yourself rationalizing why it’s OK to have “just one.” “Happy relapse” situation: This occurs when a smoker finds herself in a social situation where she once smoked, often while drinking alcohol and enjoying the company of friends. Avoid these settings until you’re comfortable as a nonsmoker and not easily tempted to smoke. Alcohol: This can be a powerful trigger, weakening your resolve not to smoke. Many smoking cessation experts advise staying away from alcohol and alcohol settings (bars, cocktail parties, cookouts, etc., where smoking is sometimes allowed) until your resolve to remain a nonsmoker is firm. Tips to Help You Quit Change your smoking behavior.What follows are some common techniques, but bear in mind that these techniques won’t work for all: Smoke only half of each cigarette. Each day, postpone the lighting of your first cigarette one hour. Decide you’ll only smoke during odd or even hours of the day. Decide beforehand how many cigarettes you’ll smoke during the day. Change your eating habits to help you cut down. For example, drink milk, which many people consider incompatible with smoking. End meals or snacks with something that won’t lead to a cigarette. Reach for a glass of juice or fresh fruit instead of a cigarette for a “pick-me-up.” Chew on cigarette-sized celery or carrot sticks. Don’t smoke automatically.Smoke only those cigarettes you really want. Catch yourself before you light a cigarette out of pure habit. Don’t empty your ashtrays. This will remind you of how many cigarettes you’ve smoked each day, and the sight and the smell of stale cigarettes butts will be unpleasant. Make yourself aware of each cigarette by using the opposite hand or putting cigarettes in an unfamiliar location or a different pocket to break the automatic reach. Make smoking inconvenient.Stop buying cigarettes by the carton. Wait until one pack is empty before you buy another. Stop carrying cigarettes with you at home or at work. Make them difficult to get to, such as locking them in your car trunk. Make smoking unpleasant.Smoke only under circumstances that aren’t especially pleasurable for you. If you like to smoke with others, smoke alone. Turn your chair to an empty corner and focus only on the cigarette you are smoking and all its many negative effects. Collect all your cigarette butts in one large glass container filled with water as a visual reminder of the filth made by smoking. Prepare quitting skills.Practice going places without cigarettes. Don’t think of never smoking again. Think of quitting in terms of one day at a time. Tell yourself you won’t smoke today, and then don’t. Clean your clothes to rid them of the cigarette smell, which can linger a long time. Clean your car or one room of your home and never smoke there again. Make plans to enjoy the first day of your smoke-free life. Throw away all your cigarettes and matches. Hide your lighters and ashtrays. Visit the dentist and have your teeth cleaned to get rid of tobacco stains. Notice how nice they look and resolve to keep them that way. Make a list of things you’d like to buy for yourself or someone else from the money you save. Estimate the cost in terms of packs of cigarettes, and put the money aside to buy these presents. Keep very busy on the big day. Go to the movies, exercise, take long walks, go bike riding. Buy yourself a treat or do something special to celebrate. Remind your family and friends that this is your quit date, and ask them to help you over the rough spots of the first couple of days and weeks. Immediately after quitting, make an effort to enjoy life as a nonsmoker and to overcome the symptoms of withdrawal—they are temporary.Develop a clean, fresh, nonsmoking environment at work and at home. Buy yourself flowers. You may be surprised how much you can enjoy their scent after the first few days. Spend as much free time as possible in places where smoking isn’t allowed, such as libraries, museums, theaters, department stores and churches. Drink large quantities of water, low-fat milk and fruit juice. Try to avoid alcohol, coffee and other beverages you associate with cigarette smoking. Strike up a conversation instead of a match for a cigarette.If you miss the sensation of having a cigarette in your hand, play with something else—a pencil, a paper clip, a marble. If you miss having something in your lips, try toothpicks, a cinnamon stick or a straw. Avoid temptation.After meals, get up from the table and brush your teeth or go for a walk. If you always smoked while driving, listen to a particularly interesting radio program or your favorite music or take public transportation for a while, if you can. For the first one to three weeks, avoid situations you strongly associate with the pleasurable aspects of smoking, such as watching your favorite TV program, sitting in your favorite chair or having a cocktail before dinner. Until you are confident of your ability to stay off cigarettes, limit your socializing to healthful, outdoor activities or situations where smoking is not allowed. If you must be in a situation where you’ll be tempted to smoke, try to associate with the nonsmokers there. Develop new habits.Change your habits to make smoking difficult, impossible or unnecessary. For example, it’s hard to smoke while you’re swimming, jogging or playing tennis or handball. When your desire for a cigarette is intense, wash your hands or the dishes, take a shower or try new recipes. Do things that require you to use your hands. Try crossword puzzles, needlework, gardening or household chores. Go bike riding or take the dog for a walk; call a friend; give yourself a manicure; write letters or surf the Internet. Enjoy having a clean mouth taste and maintain it by brushing your teeth frequently, flossing and using mouthwash. Get plenty of rest. Pay attention to your appearance. Look and feel sharp. Find time for the activities that are the most meaningful, satisfying and important to you. The Facts About Weight Gain Many women rationalize their smoking habit by saying that they will gain weight if they quit. Women are more likely than men to continue smoking to maintain their weight or to lose weight. Also, unsuccessful cessation due to weight gain or concern about weight gain is more likely among women than among men. If you are concerned about weight gain, keep these points in mind: Quitting doesn’t mean you’ll automatically gain weight, though on average, people do gain. As noted previously, it is entirely possible to make no change in eating behavior after quitting and gain weight. The benefits of giving up cigarettes far outweigh the drawbacks of adding a few pounds. You’d have to gain a very large amount of weight to offset the many substantial health benefits that a typical smoker gains by quitting. When you quit smoking, particularly if you have been smoking for many years, the effects can be noticeable—some pleasant, others unpleasant. All of these changes are a sign that your body is adjusting to life without the nicotine and chemicals you have been inhaling for so long. Here’s what to expect when you quit: Immediate Benefits of Quitting: Within 20 minutes of your last cigarette, your blood pressure and pulse rate drop, and the body temperature in your hands and feet increase to normal levels. In 24 hours the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal and oxygen carried in the blood increases. Your risk of heart attack decreases. In 48 hours the nerve endings in your nose start regrowing, and your senses of taste and smell are enhanced. You will breathe easier, although you may notice that your cough worsens for a while as your lung function returns to normal and your lungs rid themselves of the toxins from smoking. You will be free from the mess, smell, inconvenience, expense and dependence of cigarette smoking. Long-term Benefits of Quitting: You’ve greatly improved your chances for a longer life. You have significantly reduced your risk of death from heart disease, stroke, chronic bronchitis, emphysema and many kinds of cancer. Pharmacotherapy There are now seven FDA-approved medications to help smokers quit. The combination of medication and behavioral therapy dramatically increases the chance of successfully quitting. The new guidelines recommend that health professionals offer pharmacotherapy to ALL smokers who want to quit. Below is a summary of each medication to help you decide which one fits your needs. Nicotine Replacement Therapies Nicotine replacement therapies help calm cravings and withdrawal symptoms by giving your body some nicotine while you adjust to coping with life without cigarettes. Because of its effects on the heart and blood vessels, nicotine medications should not be used when serious conditions like recent heart attack, very high blood pressure or serious heart rhythm disturbance are present. Nicotine products are not advised in pregnancy unless the benefits of quitting outweigh the risks of continuing to smoke when pregnant. And results of a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine revealed that although nicotine replacement therapies do not appear to have significant adverse outcomes in pregnancy, they do not increase quitting rates among pregnant women, and pregnant women are unlikely to stick to them. You should consult your health care professional in these situations. There are five forms of nicotine replacement medications. Three are nonprescription, over-the-counter medications: the patch, the gum and the lozenge. Two require a prescription: the oral inhaler and the nasal spray. The patchThe patch, available in several brands and generically, is applied directly to a hairless area of skin on the arm or the trunk above the waist. The patch provides a steady dose of nicotine through the skin (transdermal). A new patch is used each day. The patch should be placed at a different location on the upper body each day to minimize skin irritation. The usual length of treatment is two to three months, depending on your needs.The advantages of patches are few side effects and ease of use. The patch only needs to be applied once a day. Some disadvantages include limited dosing flexibility and slower delivery of nicotine to the brain. Some people get vivid dreams while on the patch. If so, remove it before going to bed. In addition, some people will develop mild skin rashes. The gumThe nicotine compound in the gum (Nicorette) is absorbed through the lining of the mouth. For that reason, users are told to bite the gum a few times until you feel a tingling or peppery taste and then “park the gum” between the cheek and the jaw. If you chew the gum rapidly and swallow the saliva, you may become nauseated, get heartburn or hiccups. The gum is available in 2 mg and 4 mg doses. Heavier smokers (25 or more cigarettes per day) should use the 4 mg strength. When properly used (chew and park), it takes about 30 minutes to absorb all the nicotine from one piece of gum. Smokers are instructed to chew the gum on a regular schedule, every half hour to an hour to maintain a steady level of nicotine, then gradually taper as they feel more confident, using the gum for up to three months. No more than 24 pieces per day should be used by any smoker who is trying to quit.Advantages include convenience and flexibility in changing the dose. The nicotine in gum will not be absorbed if the mouth is acidic. Do not drink orange juice or coffee before or while you use the gum. If you have had an acidic beverage, thoroughly rinse your mouth before using the gum. If you have dental problems, the gum may not be right for you. The gum is good for people who crave a mouth activity or sensation and may be helpful in avoiding weight gain, since you are unlikely to eat or drink when using the gum. The lozengeThe lozenge (Commit) contains the same nicotine compound as the gum, has a “light mint” flavor and is calorie-free. It comes in 2 mg and 4 mg doses. A dosage selector helps determine when to take a lozenge, based on how soon you smoke your first cigarette of the day. It should be dissolved completely in the mouth over about 30 minutes and not chewed or swallowed. Swallowing can lead to nausea, heartburn or hiccups. The dosing schedule is similar to that of the nicotine gum—one to two lozenges an hour for the first six weeks, with a dose reduction over the second six weeks. The nasal sprayThis nicotine product (Nicotrol NS) requires a prescription. It may be used along with the patch. It is sprayed directly into each nostril and provides the fastest delivery of nicotine to the brain of any of the nicotine replacement products, producing a brain nicotine peak as soon as five minutes after use. Do not inhale while spraying, or you may get severe sinus pain. One to two sprays per hour are recommended for about three months. Ask your health care professional for instructions.The advantages of the nasal spray are flexibility of adjusting dose to your needs. Much like a cigarette, it delivers nicotine rapidly for quick reduction in cravings. You may find that during the initial days of treatment, the spray can be irritating to the nose, causing a hot, peppery feeling along with watery eyes, runny nose, coughing and sneezing. These effects decrease with use. The oral inhalerThe oral inhaler (Nicotrol Inhaler) is a plastic cylinder about the size of a cigarette holder. It is available only by prescription and can also be used along with the patch. The nicotine compound is in a small cartridge that you puncture and place inside the cylinder. When you “puff” on the inhaler, the aerosolized nicotine is absorbed through the lining of your mouth and upper respiratory tract (as opposed to through the lungs). The recommended daily dose is six to 16 cartridges per day for the first six to 12 weeks followed by a gradual tapering of the dose over the next six to 12 weeks. This treatment most closely mimics the use of actual cigarettes and can satisfy the urge to handle something, as you did when smoking. Mouth and throat irritation are the most common side effects, which decrease with use of the product. Antidepressant BupropionA promising treatment for nicotine dependence is the non-nicotine, prescription antidepressant bupropion (Zyban, Wellbutrin SR). It was approved under the brand name Zyban in 1997 as an aid to smoking cessation because research showed that people taking the drug for depression had an easier time quitting smoking. It is believed to work by affecting brain chemicals involved in nicotine addiction and withdrawal.One difference between bupropion and nicotine replacement therapy is that you start the pill one or two weeks before your quit date and continue it for six to 12 weeks after quitting smoking. Zyban is approved for up to six months to prevent relapse. The Zyban pill contains 150 mg of bupropion and is formulated to release the drug over eight hours. You start by taking one pill daily, and then increase the dose to two pills daily at least eight hours apart. The most common side effects are dry mouth and difficulty sleeping. If you have trouble with insomnia, try to take the second dose exactly eight hours after the first dose, so that the effect is decreasing at bedtime. Do not take the second dose sooner than eight hours after the first dose. The main adverse effect of bupropion is seizures. Seizures can occur at high doses of the drug or in people susceptible to seizure. Bupropion should not be given to people with an increased risk for seizure. That would include people with epilepsy, history of a head injury or heavy drinkers (more than three alcoholic drinks daily). In addition, the FDA recently warned consumers about a potential link between bupropion and suicidal events. Bupropion should not be taken by people with a history of anorexia or eating disorders. Bupropion is the same drug as the antidepressant Wellbutrin. People on Wellbutrin should not also take Zyban. Patients being treated for depression with a class of drugs called MAO inhibitors should not take Zyban. Bupropion is a prescription drug and should be taken only under the guidance of a health care professional. Other medications VareniclineIn addition to nicotine replacement and antidepressants, smokers now have another option to help them quit. In 2006 the FDA approved varenicline (Chantix), a prescription drug that is not nicotine but works like nicotine. Varenicline attaches to nicotine receptors in the brain and delivers a nicotine-like effect, reducing cravings for cigarettes and withdrawal symptoms. Because the drug is attached to the receptors, it blocks nicotine from cigarettes so that smoking does not provide the stimulatory and pleasurable effect it once did. The bottom line is that you have less difficulty with the immediate effects of quitting and less reason to smoke because it doesn’t provide the effects you expect. To date, studies on varenicline have shown the best quitting rates.Like Zyban, Chantix is started at least seven days before the quit date, and dose starts low and is slowly increased to the treatment level. The drug is available in 0.5 mg and 1.0 mg tablets, and the recommendation is to begin with 0.5 mg once daily for the first three days, then 0.5 mg twice daily for three days, then 1.0 mg twice daily. The typical treatment length for varenicline is 12 weeks. Studies have shown that long-term quit rates are higher if treatment is continued for another 12 weeks, so treatment is approved for up to 24 weeks. The most common side effects are nausea, constipation, abnormal dreams and sleep disturbances. There is also a concern about the association of varenicline with serious mental health problems like agitation, behavior changes, depression, suicidal thoughts and suicide. These concerns have emerged from reports received by the FDA since Chantix has been on the market and have prompted the FDA to issue a warning to practitioners and the public. No study of Chantix has detected these effects, so a cause and effect relationship has not been proven. However, before starting Chantix, you should tell your health care provider about any mental health symptoms you have or have had, and when you are taking the drug, you should promptly consult your health care provider if you experience such symptoms. Remember that many people experience mood changes in the first couple of weeks after quitting smoking, and a serious bout of depression can occur. Feeling blue, sad, crying a lot and losing interest in normal life activities are all symptoms of depression. If you notice these symptoms in you or in someone you know who is quitting smoking, you should see your health care professional, or encourage your friend or relative to do so, for prompt diagnosis and treatment. In summary Remember, medications make it easier to quit smoking, but you still have to do the work. None of these medications are a substitute for the desire to stop smoking. They are most successful when used in combination with a smoking cessation program or behavioral therapy. While the medication helps you cope with the physiological effects of smoking, other programs, such as counseling, help you deal with the psychological and behavioral dependence upon smoking. Preventing a Relapse Quitting smoking is the first half of the battle; next you need to prevent a relapse. Becoming a nonsmoker requires more than just licking withdrawal symptoms. You have to become accustomed to your new smoke-free habits. One of the keys to life as a former smoker is not letting your urges or cravings for a cigarette lead you to smoke. Don’t kid yourself. Even though you have made a commitment not to smoke, you will be tempted. Instead of giving in to the urge, use it as a learning experience. Remind yourself that you have quit and you don’t smoke. If you are like many new former smokers, the most difficult place to resist the urge to smoke is the most familiar: home. The activities most closely associated with smoking urges are eating, socializing and drinking. And, not surprisingly, most urges occur when another smoker is present. Seven Coping Tools to Prevent Relapse Here are seven tools you can use to cope with urges and tempting situations. These tools will help you make the transition from smoker to former smoker. And there will come a time when the urges diminish. Think about why you quit.Go back to your list of reasons for quitting. Look at this list several times a day, especially when you are hit with the urge to smoke. Your best personal reasons for quitting are also the best reasons to stay a nonsmoker. Watch for rationalizations.It is easy to rationalize yourself back into smoking. A new nonsmoker in a tense situation may think, “I’ll just have one cigarette to calm myself down.” But one cigarette is never enough. If thoughts like this pop into your head, stop and think again! You can learn ways to relax, such as taking a walk or doing breathing exercises. Concern about gaining weight may also lead to rationalizations. Learn to counter thoughts such as, “I’d rather be thin, even if it means smoking.” Remember that a slight weight gain is not likely to endanger your health as much as smoking would. After all, cigarette smoking is the single most preventable cause of death in the United States. Anticipate triggers and prepare to avoid them.By now you know which situations, people and feelings are likely to tempt you to smoke. When you can’t avoid them, be prepared to meet these triggers head-on and counteract them. Practice the skills that helped you cope with quitting. For example, if you know that spending time with a friend who smokes will be difficult for you, avoid that person until you feel strong enough to resist your urges. Reward yourself for not smoking.Congratulations are in order each time you get through a day without smoking. After a week, give yourself a well-deserved reward of some kind. Buy a new CD or treat yourself to a movie or concert. It helps to remind yourself that what you are doing is important. Practice positive thoughts.If self-defeating thoughts start to creep in, remind yourself that you are a nonsmoker, that you do not want to smoke and that you have good reasons for it. Putting yourself down and trying to hold out using willpower alone are not effective coping techniques. Mobilize the power of positive thinking! Use relaxation techniques.Breathing exercises help to reduce tension. Instead of having a cigarette, take a long deep breath, count to 10 and release it. Repeat this five times. See how much more relaxed you feel? Take a bubble bath. Seek social support.The commitment to remain a nonsmoker may be easier if you talk about it with friends and relatives. They can celebrate with you as you check off another day, week and month as a nonsmoker. Tell the people close to you that you might be tense for a while, so they know what to expect. They’ll be sympathetic when you have an urge to smoke and can be counted on to help you resist it. Remember to call on your friends when you are lonely or you feel an urge to smoke. A buddy system is a great technique.

Facts to Know

The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2012, 72,590 women will die from lung cancer, compared to the 39,510 women who will die from breast cancer. About 70 percent of smokers claim in surveys that they want to quit, and more than 50 percent of smokers report having tried to quit in the past year. However, the long-term success rate of a single unaided attempt to quit is low—only about 5 percent to 7 percent of smokers who attempt to quit are still not smoking one year later. The health benefits of smoking far outweigh any risk of weight gain caused by quitting smoking. Research shows that the average weight gain after quitting smoking is six to eight pounds. Quitting smoking saves money. A pack-a-day smoker, who pays $9 a pack, can expect to save more than $3,200 per year. At $11 a pack (the price in New York City), that amounts to a saving of $4,015! As the price of cigarettes continues to rise, so will the financial rewards of quitting. Cigarette smoking causes lung and other cancers, emphysema and heart disease. An estimated 443,000 U.S. deaths each year are caused by cigarette smoking. But smoking also affects nearly every other organ system and disease in a negative way. The Environmental Protection Agency has listed passive cigarette smoke (also known as secondhand smoke) as a carcinogen, and The American Lung Association reports that it causes close to 50,000 deaths per year.

Key Q&A

Am I addicted to nicotine?When addicted smokers try to quit, they go through a variable withdrawal period. If you experience symptoms such as anger, difficulty sleeping, cravings, mood swings, increased hunger, weight gain and difficulty concentrating when you stop nicotine, you are likely addicted. Are there specific risks for women who smoke?Women who smoke experience all the same health risks as men do: lung and other cancers, coronary heart disease and stroke and severe lung diseases. In addition, they have other serious risks, including risks to their reproductive health. If you smoke while you are pregnant, you are putting yourself and your unborn child at increased risk for complications. Well-known risks of smoking during pregnancy are bleeding complications, prematurity and low birth-weight babies. Many studies have documented a link between smoking during pregnancy and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Why do I enjoy smoking so much?Nicotine’s effect on the central nervous system is what makes smoking pleasurable. Nicotine can induce relaxation and relieve anxiety or boredom and irritability. Nicotine also can improve your mood because of its effect on brain chemicals that regulate emotion and pleasure. Once smoking becomes a part of your everyday routine, the mere handling of a cigarette can become soothing. I failed to quit smoking once. Does this mean I am doomed to smoke forever?It takes multiple attempts at quitting before many smokers become lifelong nonsmokers. You may be successful on your first try, but if you aren’t, don’t give up. Cigarettes hook smokers in three powerful interlocking ways, each of which needs to be addressed when you are trying to quit: physical addiction habit emotional dependence If you feel you need help to quit, talk to your health care professional about nicotine replacement therapies or buproprian (Zyban) or varenicline (Chantix).. What is the first step in quitting smoking?A positive decision to quit is the foundation of a successful smoking cessation program. Try to avoid negative thoughts about how difficult it might be. Make a list of reasons to quit smoking and a list of reasons to continue smoking. Add to them daily. Develop strong personal reasons, in addition to your health and obligations to others. For example, think of all the time you waste taking cigarette breaks, rushing out to buy a pack, hunting for a light, etc. Will I gain weight if I quit smoking?For many women, the fear of weight gain is a real concern and one that is used to rationalize continued smoking. The average amount of weight gained after quitting smoking is six to eight pounds, which not everyone is able to easily offset by changes in diet and exercise. However, women who smoke must weigh the many other benefits of quitting, especially health benefits, including cosmetic benefits, such as clean hair, teeth, fewer wrinkles and so on. The health benefits of quitting vastly outweigh health harm from any weight gain, experts say. How long will it take for my health to improve after I quit smoking?Within 20 minutes of your last cigarette, your blood pressure and pulse rate drop and the body temperature in your hands and feet increase to normal levels. In 24 to 48 hours the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal and oxygen carried in the blood increases. Your risk of heart attack decreases. In 48 hours your nose’s nerve endings start regenerating, and your senses of taste and smell are enhanced. You will breathe easier, although you may notice that you may continue to cough more for awhile. And you will be free from the mess, smell, inconvenience, expense and dependence of cigarette smoking. My partner smokes and refuses to quit. How can I limit my exposure even though we live together?If you live with a smoker, ask him or her not to smoke inside your home. Discuss how his or her habit puts you at risk. If your partner is unwilling to go outside, suggest ways to limit the exposure of smoke for you. Maybe a room could be set aside for smoking—one that is seldom used by other members of the household. Some smokers protect others at home by smoking near an open window or when no one is around. It also helps to keep rooms well-ventilated and open windows.

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Smoking and Addiction

Overview

Fifty years ago smoking was thought of as a primarily male "pastime." But in the decades since, women have just about closed the gender gap while at the same time experiencing dire health consequences, just like men. According to the most recently available statistics from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2010, 19.3 percent of American adults (45.3 million people) smoke. Every year, smoking kills an estimated 443,000 people through smoking-related diseases, including lung and other cancers, heart disease, stroke and chronic lung diseases such as emphysema. Smoking has long been the leading cause of preventable death and disease among women. And, according to recent surveys, many women do not realize that lung cancer, once rare among women, surpassed breast cancer in 1987 as the leading cause of female cancer death in the United States. In fact, it has been proven that smoking can cause disease in nearly every organ of the body, in women as well as men. The list of diseases caused by smoking has been expanded to include abdominal aortic aneurysm, acute myeloid leukemia, cataract, cervical cancer, kidney cancer, pancreatic cancer, pneumonia, periodontitis and stomach cancer. These are in addition to diseases previously known to be caused by smoking, including bladder, colorectal, liver, esophageal, laryngeal, lung, oral and throat cancers, chronic lung diseases, coronary heart and cardiovascular diseases, as well as reproductive effects and sudden infant death syndrome. Smoking also harms many aspects and every phase of reproduction: menstrual function, oral contraceptive use, fertility, problems in pregnancy and giving birth to low-weight babies, among other conditions. In addition, smoking increases your risk of developing osteoporosis. Smoking is related to an increased risk for hip fracture as well, especially among postmenopausal women (studies have shown that bone mineral density and body mass are lower in smokers). Smoking also affects your appearance. Long-term smoking will cause your skin to wrinkle prematurely and lose its elasticity, your nails and teeth to turn yellow and your breath to smell foul. While smoking rates have fallen among women since 1965—33.9 percent of women were smokers in 1965, as compared with 18.3 percent in 2008—teenagers are still lighting up. According to the CDC, each day, more than 3,800 teenagers younger than age 18 smoke their first cigarette, and 1,000 teenagers younger than 18 begin smoking on a daily basis. Adolescents who smoke are generally less physically fit and have more respiratory illnesses than their nonsmoking peers. In addition, smoking by adolescents hastens the onset of lung function decline during late adolescence and early adulthood. Smoking by adolescents is also related to impaired lung growth, chronic coughing and wheezing. Why Teenage Girls Smoke Despite Known Risks With all of the negative publicity about smoking, why do so many women and teenage girls continue to smoke? Teenagers vastly underestimate the addiction potential ofnicotine. A woman who begins smoking when she is young will have a very difficult time quitting as she ages and becomes more concerned with the health consequences. It is well documented that there are social, political and economic forces that influence tobacco use, particularly among youth. A major factor influencing susceptibility to and initiation of smoking among girls, in the United States and overseas, is the tobacco industry's long-standing (75 years or more) targeted marketing to women and girls. Tobacco marketers know that if they can hook children, these children are more likely to become lifelong customers. The tobacco industry spends more than $9.94 billion dollars annually in the United States to advertise and promote its products, including print media advertising (cigarette ads are banned from television and radio); distribution of free samples, cents-off coupons, T-shirts and other giveaways; movie product placements; cultural programs; donations to a wide range of national and local organizations; and political contributions to elected officials. Women's Greater Vulnerability to Tobacco Some research has revealed that women might be more susceptible to the addictive properties of nicotine and have a slower metabolic clearance of nicotine from their bodies than men. Also, women seem to be more susceptible to the effects of tobacco carcinogens than men. Women also tend to smoke for different reasons than men, citing more emotional triggers, such as relief of stress, anxiety, anger or depression. Smoking and Addiction Nicotine is what keeps smokers addicted to tobacco, and it doesn't take long to get hooked. Nicotine is one of the most powerful addictive drugs—more addictive than heroin—yet it is also easily available and more socially accepted than other highly addictive substances. Nicotine is the addictive chemical in tobacco but most of the negative health consequences of smoking are caused by the other 4,800 chemicals inhaled when tobacco products are burned. Carbon monoxide is also produced. It becomes attached to the red blood cells and decreases the oxygen available to the body tissues. Nicotine's effect on the central nervous system is what makes smoking pleasurable. Nicotine has a calming effect and can relieve anxiety, boredom and irritability. Nicotine also has a stimulant effect, increasing alertness and improving concentration. Within seven to 10 seconds of inhaling, your brain feels the effect of nicotine. Repeated inhalations maintain a steady blood level of nicotine. When you stop puffing, the blood level goes down. You light up again to deliver more nicotine to the brain. Pretty soon your brain and body consider it normal for you to have a certain blood level of nicotine. When that level goes down, you feel uncomfortable, irritable and unfocused. That's withdrawal. Now you are addicted. You smoke to keep from going into withdrawal, and you may find yourself smoking more and more. Combined Effects of Smoking and Oral Contraceptives Smoking cigarettes while taking birth control pills dramatically increases the risk ofheart attack for women over 35. Smoking is far more dangerous to a woman's health than taking birth control pills, but the combination of oral contraceptive pill use and smoking has a greater effect on heart attack risk than when each factor is considered alone. Smoking cigarettes while taking birth control pills increases a woman's risk of having an ischemic stroke (three times more likely in pill users than in nonusers) or ahemorrhagic stroke (three to four times that of nonusers), according to a large World Health Organization study. Effects of Smoking on Reproductive Health and Pregnancy Smoking affects ovarian function and decreases the female hormone estrogen. If you are planning to become pregnant, cigarette smoking can impair your fertility by adversely affecting ovulatory and tubal function, egg production and implantation. Smoking may cause you to have irregular menstrual cycles. Women who smoke also have an earlier menopause, which may increase their risk of osteoporosis, heart disease and other conditions for which estrogen provides a protective effect. Nearly 11 percent of pregnant women continue to smoke throughout their pregnancies. If you smoke while you are pregnant, you are putting yourself and your unborn child at increased risk for complications. Risks of smoking during pregnancy include: complications from bleeding low-birth–weight babies increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) premature birth stillbirth placenta previa (the placenta grows too close to the opening of the uterus, a condition that often leads to Caesarean delivery) placental abruption (the placenta prematurely separates from the uterus wall) premature rupture of uterine membranes preeclampsia (a condition that results in high blood pressure and excess protein in the urine) reduction of the newborn's lung function If you are a smoker and a nursing mother, it is important to know that nicotine is found in breast milk, and therefore enters your baby's system. If you have children, your smoke puts them at risk, too. Secondhand smoke has been shown to make children more susceptible to infections, including colds and flu, ear infections and lower respiratory infections such as bronchitis and pneumonia. It also causes new cases of asthma, and it makes existing cases of asthma worse. Diagnosis Regardless of how much you smoke, you need to quit. Researchers now know that there is a strong family component to addiction. If you have a family history of addiction, you should be aware of the risk for developing dependency, especially during stressful periods in your life. The vast majority of smokers are addicted or dependent on nicotine. In addition to overcoming nicotine addiction, the quitting smoker must fight the actual habit of smoking, the behavioral activity of lighting up a cigarette so many times a day for so many years. For many smokers, smoking becomes associated with many daily activities (driving, talking on the phone, watching TV, for example) and often, these activities won't feel right without the cigarette. For many women, there is an emotional dependence on smoking. Maybe you smoke when you are stressed or sad. All of these issues combine to make smoking a powerful adversary if you are trying to kick the habit. Even if you don't smoke, but you live, work or socialize with smokers, your health is at risk if these people smoke indoors or around you. Secondhand smoking is the third leading cause of preventable death in the United States, killing close to 50,000 nonsmokers per year. Consider asking the person to "take it outside" and not smoke in your presence to protect your own health. Six Stages of Quitting There is strong scientific evidence that being able to successfully quit smoking is not a matter of luck or willpower or simply flipping a light switch—making one quick change or decision that transforms you suddenly from smoker to nonsmoker. One concept is that the struggle to quit smoking is a series of stages, with your success being dependent on determining what stage of change you are in. Psychologist James O. Prochaska and colleagues have developed a framework for the stages of change that people go through when trying to overcome an ingrained habit. These are described in his book, Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (Harper Paperbacks, 1995). Smokers can cycle through this predictable set of stages, often multiple times, until they achieve success: Pre-contemplation:You have never tried to quit or even considered giving up smoking. Contemplation:You are considering the need to quit smoking someday. You are waiting for something to motivate you or give you a reason to quit smoking. You are open to information and advice about quitting. Preparation:You are preparing to stop smoking. You have either reduced the amount that you smoke or restricted your smoking. You are considering what to do the day you quit smoking. You are planning strategies for coping with urges to smoke. Action:You are in the act of quitting. Congratulations! This phase includes the quit date and the first few months of quitting. Maintenance:You are a former smoker! Being off tobacco products for any amount of time is a tremendous success...and even smokers who have quit for years occasionally relapse to smoking. That being said, the first year after you've quit is an important landmark, which should be celebrated. Smoking cessation experts say your risk of returning to smoking is low at this point. Termination:The new behavior has become an integral part of your life to the point that the likelihood of relapse is almost nonexistent. Treatment For many smokers, it takes multiple serious attempts at quitting before they become lifelong nonsmokers. You may be successful on your first try, but if you aren't, don't give up. Cigarettes hook smokers in three powerful interlocking ways, each of which needs to be addressed when you are trying to quit: physical addiction habit emotional dependence Before 1985, cold turkey (quitting completely and in one step without cessation aids) was the only option for smokers. Today, smokers can take advantage of many effective medications or drugs and behavioral treatments. In addition, there are many successful cessation programs and materials (self-help and others) to help you quit. And as fewer and fewer people smoke, there is increasing social support for anyone trying to quit. Preparing to Quit: What to Do The first step in quitting smoking is making the decision to quit. The decision to quit smoking should not be taken lightly. It is a serious commitment and a serious challenge. But the rewards are worth the effort. Here's how you can prepare to quit smoking: Make a positive decision to quit smoking.Avoid negative thoughts about how difficult it might be. Compare reasons to quit smoking with reasons to continue smoking; add to those reasons for quitting daily. Develop strong personal reasons, in addition to your health and obligations to others. For example, think of all the time you waste taking cigarette breaks, rushing out to buy a pack, hunting for a light, etc. Discuss the decision with your health care professional.Ask about the many medications available for quitting and which might suit your lifestyle and personal health profile best. Begin to condition yourself physically.Start a modest exercise program, drink more fluids, get plenty of rest and avoid fatigue. Many of the effects of nicotine, including stress relief, increased metabolism and mood and weight control can be achieved with exercise. Set a target date for quitting.This could be a special day such as your birthday, your anniversary or the Great American Smokeout. (The Great American Smokeout takes place each year on the third Thursday of November.) If you smoke heavily at work, quit during your vacation so that you're already committed to quitting when you return. Make the date sacred, and don't let anything change it. This will make it easy for you to keep track of the day you became a nonsmoker. Plan to celebrate that date every year. Prepare mentally for quitting.Have realistic expectations about quitting smoking before you begin. Quitting isn't easy, but it's not impossible either. Visualize yourself smoke-free in difficult situations. Let your friends and family know.Tell them in advance that you are planning to quit. They can provide helpful social support. You will likely experience withdrawal symptoms most severely during the first one to two weeks without nicotine. Understand that withdrawal symptoms are temporary. Be aware that this may be your hardest time, and use all your personal resources (your health care professional, your family and your friends) to get you through this critical period successfully. Symptoms of Nicotine Withdrawal Nicotine withdrawal symptoms are temporary sensations that result after reducing or stopping tobacco abruptly. They usually begin within 24 hours. You may experience four or more of the following: Depressed mood:In the first couple of weeks after quitting, many people experience mood changes. Regular aerobic exercise, adequate sleep and refusing to listen to thoughts that will keep you spiraling down may help you avoid these mood changes.People with a history of major depression may relapse when quitting smoking and people with current depression may actually be medicating themselves with the nicotine in cigarettes. A serious bout of depression can occur in someone quitting smoking. Feeling blue, sad, crying a lot, and losing interest in normal life activities are all symptoms of depression. If you feel these symptoms overtaking your life, you should see your health care professional promptly for diagnosis and treatment. Trouble sleeping (insomnia):Your brain chemistry is readjusting to new patterns without nicotine's influence. Treat yourself to a hot bath, avoid caffeine in the evening or begin a relaxation or meditation routine. Get enough exercise every day so that you earn your rest. You may also need to have extra sleep while you are recovering, so go ahead and take a nap. You deserve it. A full seven to eight hours of sleep per day is optimal to help the brain chemistry stabilize. Irritability, frustration or anger:Planning ahead will allow you to pick the least troublesome period for your "quit week" when you need to avoid or minimize stresses and demands. Let those around you know and ask them to have patience. Practice your new stress coping skills before quitting so they are ready to use when you need them. Move away from a bothersome situation, take a walk or plan to avoid familiar aggravation, if possible, for several days until this period is over. Deep breathing exercises can help to calm your "on edge" sensations. Don't set expectations too high at work or home during the first couple weeks after quitting. Anxiety:Common sensations after quitting tobacco, particularly in the first week or two, are a growing sense of anxiety, restlessness and overwhelming worry. But if you know what you are dealing with, you can have a plan to divert your attention, get busy doing some preoccupying task or talk with someone who cares. If the feelings of anxiety persist and are disabling and interfere with your life, talk it over with your health care professional. You may have a condition known as an anxiety disorder, which can be helped with medication. Difficulty concentrating:Nicotine stimulates the norepinephrine levels in the brain that affect the attention span, alertness and vigilance. Until your brain chemistry gets readjusted, it is difficult for many people to stay focused. Again, this is temporary. Restlessness:Part of this is due to missing the routine of lighting cigarettes and bringing them to your mouth hundreds of times per day. Your hands feel awkward and useless. Exercise can ease the agitation and restless feelings. Take a walk or get some other form of exercise. Weight gain:There are many reasons why people can gain weight after quitting smoking. The most important reasons are that nicotine stimulates body metabolism and suppresses appetite, so that with the same food intake and no increase in exercise some weight gain will occur. In addition, some people increase their food intake as well, eating instead of smoking. Without the dulling effects of cigarette smoke on taste and smell, food is more appetizing and you may eat more. If you are aware of these effects, you can take steps to counteract the risk for weight gain. Decreased heart rate:Nicotine is a significant stimulant to the heart's electrical system and speeds up the heart rate. After quitting, the heart can slow down to the healthier normal pace. This is an effect that you are unlikely to notice. The good news is that within two to six weeks these symptoms will resolve and your brain will learn how to manage the balance of chemical messengers without nicotine's influence. As your body begins to repair itself, you may feel worse for a short while. It's important to understand that healing is a process that begins immediately and continues over time. Immediately after quitting, you may experience "symptoms of recovery" such as temporary weight gain caused by fluid retention, irregularity and dry, sore gums or tongue. You may feel edgy, hungry, tired and more short-tempered than usual. You may have trouble sleeping and notice that you are coughing a lot. These symptoms are the result of your body clearing itself of the effects of chronic nicotine and the other chemicals in cigarette smoke. Although most of the nicotine is gone from the body in two to three days, these symptoms will take longer to resolve. Critically Important: Know Your Triggers During those first critical weeks, be aware of situational triggers, such as a particularly stressful event or a social event where friends or family will be smoking. These are the times when you reach for cigarettes automatically because you associate smoking with relaxing. It is important to prepare yourself for these situations before they happen. There are several types of situations that put smokers at risk for relapse: A negative mood, such as feeling sad, anxious or stressed out: These feelings are particularly risky when you are alone. You may find yourself rationalizing why it's OK to have "just one." "Happy relapse" situation: This occurs when a smoker finds herself in a social situation where she once smoked, often while drinking alcohol and enjoying the company of friends. Avoid these settings until you're comfortable as a nonsmoker and not easily tempted to smoke. Alcohol: This can be a powerful trigger, weakening your resolve not to smoke. Many smoking cessation experts advise staying away from alcohol and alcohol settings (bars, cocktail parties, cookouts, etc., where smoking is sometimes allowed) until your resolve to remain a nonsmoker is firm. Tips to Help You Quit Change your smoking behavior.What follows are some common techniques, but bear in mind that these techniques won't work for all: Smoke only half of each cigarette. Each day, postpone the lighting of your first cigarette one hour. Decide you'll only smoke during odd or even hours of the day. Decide beforehand how many cigarettes you'll smoke during the day. Change your eating habits to help you cut down. For example, drink milk, which many people consider incompatible with smoking. End meals or snacks with something that won't lead to a cigarette. Reach for a glass of juice or fresh fruit instead of a cigarette for a "pick-me-up." Chew on cigarette-sized celery or carrot sticks. Don't smoke automatically.Smoke only those cigarettes you really want. Catch yourself before you light a cigarette out of pure habit. Don't empty your ashtrays. This will remind you of how many cigarettes you've smoked each day, and the sight and the smell of stale cigarettes butts will be unpleasant. Make yourself aware of each cigarette by using the opposite hand or putting cigarettes in an unfamiliar location or a different pocket to break the automatic reach. Make smoking inconvenient.Stop buying cigarettes by the carton. Wait until one pack is empty before you buy another. Stop carrying cigarettes with you at home or at work. Make them difficult to get to, such as locking them in your car trunk. Make smoking unpleasant.Smoke only under circumstances that aren't especially pleasurable for you. If you like to smoke with others, smoke alone. Turn your chair to an empty corner and focus only on the cigarette you are smoking and all its many negative effects. Collect all your cigarette butts in one large glass container filled with water as a visual reminder of the filth made by smoking. Prepare quitting skills.Practice going places without cigarettes. Don't think of never smoking again. Think of quitting in terms of one day at a time. Tell yourself you won't smoke today, and then don't. Clean your clothes to rid them of the cigarette smell, which can linger a long time. Clean your car or one room of your home and never smoke there again. Make plans to enjoy the first day of your smoke-free life. Throw away all your cigarettes and matches. Hide your lighters and ashtrays. Visit the dentist and have your teeth cleaned to get rid of tobacco stains. Notice how nice they look and resolve to keep them that way. Make a list of things you'd like to buy for yourself or someone else from the money you save. Estimate the cost in terms of packs of cigarettes, and put the money aside to buy these presents. Keep very busy on the big day. Go to the movies, exercise, take long walks, go bike riding. Buy yourself a treat or do something special to celebrate. Remind your family and friends that this is your quit date, and ask them to help you over the rough spots of the first couple of days and weeks. Immediately after quitting, make an effort to enjoy life as a nonsmoker and to overcome the symptoms of withdrawal—they are temporary.Develop a clean, fresh, nonsmoking environment at work and at home. Buy yourself flowers. You may be surprised how much you can enjoy their scent after the first few days. Spend as much free time as possible in places where smoking isn't allowed, such as libraries, museums, theaters, department stores and churches. Drink large quantities of water, low-fat milk and fruit juice. Try to avoid alcohol, coffee and other beverages you associate with cigarette smoking. Strike up a conversation instead of a match for a cigarette.If you miss the sensation of having a cigarette in your hand, play with something else—a pencil, a paper clip, a marble. If you miss having something in your lips, try toothpicks, a cinnamon stick or a straw. Avoid temptation.After meals, get up from the table and brush your teeth or go for a walk. If you always smoked while driving, listen to a particularly interesting radio program or your favorite music or take public transportation for a while, if you can. For the first one to three weeks, avoid situations you strongly associate with the pleasurable aspects of smoking, such as watching your favorite TV program, sitting in your favorite chair or having a cocktail before dinner. Until you are confident of your ability to stay off cigarettes, limit your socializing to healthful, outdoor activities or situations where smoking is not allowed. If you must be in a situation where you'll be tempted to smoke, try to associate with the nonsmokers there. Develop new habits.Change your habits to make smoking difficult, impossible or unnecessary. For example, it's hard to smoke while you're swimming, jogging or playing tennis or handball. When your desire for a cigarette is intense, wash your hands or the dishes, take a shower or try new recipes. Do things that require you to use your hands. Try crossword puzzles, needlework, gardening or household chores. Go bike riding or take the dog for a walk; call a friend; give yourself a manicure; write letters or surf the Internet. Enjoy having a clean mouth taste and maintain it by brushing your teeth frequently, flossing and using mouthwash. Get plenty of rest. Pay attention to your appearance. Look and feel sharp. Find time for the activities that are the most meaningful, satisfying and important to you. The Facts About Weight Gain Many women rationalize their smoking habit by saying that they will gain weight if they quit. Women are more likely than men to continue smoking to maintain their weight or to lose weight. Also, unsuccessful cessation due to weight gain or concern about weight gain is more likely among women than among men. If you are concerned about weight gain, keep these points in mind: Quitting doesn't mean you'll automatically gain weight, though on average, people do gain. As noted previously, it is entirely possible to make no change in eating behavior after quitting and gain weight. The benefits of giving up cigarettes far outweigh the drawbacks of adding a few pounds. You'd have to gain a very large amount of weight to offset the many substantial health benefits that a typical smoker gains by quitting. When you quit smoking, particularly if you have been smoking for many years, the effects can be noticeable—some pleasant, others unpleasant. All of these changes are a sign that your body is adjusting to life without the nicotine and chemicals you have been inhaling for so long. Here's what to expect when you quit: Immediate Benefits of Quitting: Within 20 minutes of your last cigarette, your blood pressure and pulse rate drop, and the body temperature in your hands and feet increase to normal levels. In 24 hours the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal and oxygen carried in the blood increases. Your risk of heart attack decreases. In 48 hours the nerve endings in your nose start regrowing, and your senses of taste and smell are enhanced. You will breathe easier, although you may notice that your cough worsens for a while as your lung function returns to normal and your lungs rid themselves of the toxins from smoking. You will be free from the mess, smell, inconvenience, expense and dependence of cigarette smoking. Long-term Benefits of Quitting: You've greatly improved your chances for a longer life. You have significantly reduced your risk of death from heart disease, stroke, chronic bronchitis, emphysema and many kinds of cancer. Pharmacotherapy There are now seven FDA-approved medications to help smokers quit. The combination of medication and behavioral therapy dramatically increases the chance of successfully quitting. The new guidelines recommend that health professionals offer pharmacotherapy to ALL smokers who want to quit. Below is a summary of each medication to help you decide which one fits your needs. Nicotine Replacement Therapies Nicotine replacement therapies help calm cravings and withdrawal symptoms by giving your body some nicotine while you adjust to coping with life without cigarettes. Because of its effects on the heart and blood vessels, nicotine medications should not be used when serious conditions like recent heart attack, very high blood pressure or serious heart rhythm disturbance are present. Nicotine products are not advised in pregnancy unless the benefits of quitting outweigh the risks of continuing to smoke when pregnant. And results of a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine revealed that although nicotine replacement therapies do not appear to have significant adverse outcomes in pregnancy, they do not increase quitting rates among pregnant women, and pregnant women are unlikely to stick to them. You should consult your health care professional in these situations. There are five forms of nicotine replacement medications. Three are nonprescription, over-the-counter medications: the patch, the gum and the lozenge. Two require a prescription: the oral inhaler and the nasal spray. The patchThe patch, available in several brands and generically, is applied directly to a hairless area of skin on the arm or the trunk above the waist. The patch provides a steady dose of nicotine through the skin (transdermal). A new patch is used each day. The patch should be placed at a different location on the upper body each day to minimize skin irritation. The usual length of treatment is two to three months, depending on your needs.The advantages of patches are few side effects and ease of use. The patch only needs to be applied once a day. Some disadvantages include limited dosing flexibility and slower delivery of nicotine to the brain. Some people get vivid dreams while on the patch. If so, remove it before going to bed. In addition, some people will develop mild skin rashes. The gumThe nicotine compound in the gum (Nicorette) is absorbed through the lining of the mouth. For that reason, users are told to bite the gum a few times until you feel a tingling or peppery taste and then "park the gum" between the cheek and the jaw. If you chew the gum rapidly and swallow the saliva, you may become nauseated, get heartburn or hiccups. The gum is available in 2 mg and 4 mg doses. Heavier smokers (25 or more cigarettes per day) should use the 4 mg strength. When properly used (chew and park), it takes about 30 minutes to absorb all the nicotine from one piece of gum. Smokers are instructed to chew the gum on a regular schedule, every half hour to an hour to maintain a steady level of nicotine, then gradually taper as they feel more confident, using the gum for up to three months. No more than 24 pieces per day should be used by any smoker who is trying to quit.Advantages include convenience and flexibility in changing the dose. The nicotine in gum will not be absorbed if the mouth is acidic. Do not drink orange juice or coffee before or while you use the gum. If you have had an acidic beverage, thoroughly rinse your mouth before using the gum. If you have dental problems, the gum may not be right for you. The gum is good for people who crave a mouth activity or sensation and may be helpful in avoiding weight gain, since you are unlikely to eat or drink when using the gum. The lozengeThe lozenge (Commit) contains the same nicotine compound as the gum, has a "light mint" flavor and is calorie-free. It comes in 2 mg and 4 mg doses. A dosage selector helps determine when to take a lozenge, based on how soon you smoke your first cigarette of the day. It should be dissolved completely in the mouth over about 30 minutes and not chewed or swallowed. Swallowing can lead to nausea, heartburn or hiccups. The dosing schedule is similar to that of the nicotine gum—one to two lozenges an hour for the first six weeks, with a dose reduction over the second six weeks. The nasal sprayThis nicotine product (Nicotrol NS) requires a prescription. It may be used along with the patch. It is sprayed directly into each nostril and provides the fastest delivery of nicotine to the brain of any of the nicotine replacement products, producing a brain nicotine peak as soon as five minutes after use. Do not inhale while spraying, or you may get severe sinus pain. One to two sprays per hour are recommended for about three months. Ask your health care professional for instructions.The advantages of the nasal spray are flexibility of adjusting dose to your needs. Much like a cigarette, it delivers nicotine rapidly for quick reduction in cravings. You may find that during the initial days of treatment, the spray can be irritating to the nose, causing a hot, peppery feeling along with watery eyes, runny nose, coughing and sneezing. These effects decrease with use. The oral inhalerThe oral inhaler (Nicotrol Inhaler) is a plastic cylinder about the size of a cigarette holder. It is available only by prescription and can also be used along with the patch. The nicotine compound is in a small cartridge that you puncture and place inside the cylinder. When you "puff" on the inhaler, the aerosolized nicotine is absorbed through the lining of your mouth and upper respiratory tract (as opposed to through the lungs). The recommended daily dose is six to 16 cartridges per day for the first six to 12 weeks followed by a gradual tapering of the dose over the next six to 12 weeks. This treatment most closely mimics the use of actual cigarettes and can satisfy the urge to handle something, as you did when smoking. Mouth and throat irritation are the most common side effects, which decrease with use of the product. Antidepressant BupropionA promising treatment for nicotine dependence is the non-nicotine, prescription antidepressant bupropion (Zyban, Wellbutrin SR). It was approved under the brand name Zyban in 1997 as an aid to smoking cessation because research showed that people taking the drug for depression had an easier time quitting smoking. It is believed to work by affecting brain chemicals involved in nicotine addiction and withdrawal.One difference between bupropion and nicotine replacement therapy is that you start the pill one or two weeks before your quit date and continue it for six to 12 weeks after quitting smoking. Zyban is approved for up to six months to prevent relapse. The Zyban pill contains 150 mg of bupropion and is formulated to release the drug over eight hours. You start by taking one pill daily, and then increase the dose to two pills daily at least eight hours apart. The most common side effects are dry mouth and difficulty sleeping. If you have trouble with insomnia, try to take the second dose exactly eight hours after the first dose, so that the effect is decreasing at bedtime. Do not take the second dose sooner than eight hours after the first dose.The main adverse effect of bupropion is seizures. Seizures can occur at high doses of the drug or in people susceptible to seizure. Bupropion should not be given to people with an increased risk for seizure. That would include people with epilepsy, history of a head injury or heavy drinkers (more than three alcoholic drinks daily). In addition, the FDA recently warned consumers about a potential link between bupropion and suicidal events. Bupropion should not be taken by people with a history of anorexia or eating disorders. Bupropion is the same drug as the antidepressant Wellbutrin. People on Wellbutrin should not also take Zyban. Patients being treated for depression with a class of drugs called MAO inhibitors should not take Zyban. Bupropion is a prescription drug and should be taken only under the guidance of a health care professional. Other medications VareniclineIn addition to nicotine replacement and antidepressants, smokers now have another option to help them quit. In 2006 the FDA approved varenicline (Chantix), a prescription drug that is not nicotine but works like nicotine. Varenicline attaches to nicotine receptors in the brain and delivers a nicotine-like effect, reducing cravings for cigarettes and withdrawal symptoms. Because the drug is attached to the receptors, it blocks nicotine from cigarettes so that smoking does not provide the stimulatory and pleasurable effect it once did. The bottom line is that you have less difficulty with the immediate effects of quitting and less reason to smoke because it doesn't provide the effects you expect. To date, studies on varenicline have shown the best quitting rates.Like Zyban, Chantix is started at least seven days before the quit date, and dose starts low and is slowly increased to the treatment level. The drug is available in 0.5 mg and 1.0 mg tablets, and the recommendation is to begin with 0.5 mg once daily for the first three days, then 0.5 mg twice daily for three days, then 1.0 mg twice daily. The typical treatment length for varenicline is 12 weeks. Studies have shown that long-term quit rates are higher if treatment is continued for another 12 weeks, so treatment is approved for up to 24 weeks. The most common side effects are nausea, constipation, abnormal dreams and sleep disturbances.There is also a concern about the association of varenicline with serious mental health problems like agitation, behavior changes, depression, suicidal thoughts and suicide. These concerns have emerged from reports received by the FDA since Chantix has been on the market and have prompted the FDA to issue a warning to practitioners and the public. No study of Chantix has detected these effects, so a cause and effect relationship has not been proven. However, before starting Chantix, you should tell your health care provider about any mental health symptoms you have or have had, and when you are taking the drug, you should promptly consult your health care provider if you experience such symptoms.Remember that many people experience mood changes in the first couple of weeks after quitting smoking, and a serious bout of depression can occur. Feeling blue, sad, crying a lot and losing interest in normal life activities are all symptoms of depression. If you notice these symptoms in you or in someone you know who is quitting smoking, you should see your health care professional, or encourage your friend or relative to do so, for prompt diagnosis and treatment. In summary Remember, medications make it easier to quit smoking, but you still have to do the work. None of these medications are a substitute for the desire to stop smoking. They are most successful when used in combination with a smoking cessation program or behavioral therapy. While the medication helps you cope with the physiological effects of smoking, other programs, such as counseling, help you deal with the psychological and behavioral dependence upon smoking. Preventing a Relapse Quitting smoking is the first half of the battle; next you need to prevent a relapse. Becoming a nonsmoker requires more than just licking withdrawal symptoms. You have to become accustomed to your new smoke-free habits. One of the keys to life as a former smoker is not letting your urges or cravings for a cigarette lead you to smoke. Don't kid yourself. Even though you have made a commitment not to smoke, you will be tempted. Instead of giving in to the urge, use it as a learning experience. Remind yourself that you have quit and you don't smoke. If you are like many new former smokers, the most difficult place to resist the urge to smoke is the most familiar: home. The activities most closely associated with smoking urges are eating, socializing and drinking. And, not surprisingly, most urges occur when another smoker is present. Seven Coping Tools to Prevent Relapse Here are seven tools you can use to cope with urges and tempting situations. These tools will help you make the transition from smoker to former smoker. And there will come a time when the urges diminish. Think about why you quit.Go back to your list of reasons for quitting. Look at this list several times a day, especially when you are hit with the urge to smoke. Your best personal reasons for quitting are also the best reasons to stay a nonsmoker. Watch for rationalizations.It is easy to rationalize yourself back into smoking. A new nonsmoker in a tense situation may think, "I'll just have one cigarette to calm myself down." But one cigarette is never enough. If thoughts like this pop into your head, stop and think again! You can learn ways to relax, such as taking a walk or doing breathing exercises. Concern about gaining weight may also lead to rationalizations. Learn to counter thoughts such as, "I'd rather be thin, even if it means smoking." Remember that a slight weight gain is not likely to endanger your health as much as smoking would. After all, cigarette smoking is the single most preventable cause of death in the United States. Anticipate triggers and prepare to avoid them.By now you know which situations, people and feelings are likely to tempt you to smoke. When you can't avoid them, be prepared to meet these triggers head-on and counteract them. Practice the skills that helped you cope with quitting. For example, if you know that spending time with a friend who smokes will be difficult for you, avoid that person until you feel strong enough to resist your urges. Reward yourself for not smoking.Congratulations are in order each time you get through a day without smoking. After a week, give yourself a well-deserved reward of some kind. Buy a new CD or treat yourself to a movie or concert. It helps to remind yourself that what you are doing is important. Practice positive thoughts.If self-defeating thoughts start to creep in, remind yourself that you are a nonsmoker, that you do not want to smoke and that you have good reasons for it. Putting yourself down and trying to hold out using willpower alone are not effective coping techniques. Mobilize the power of positive thinking! Use relaxation techniques.Breathing exercises help to reduce tension. Instead of having a cigarette, take a long deep breath, count to 10 and release it. Repeat this five times. See how much more relaxed you feel? Take a bubble bath. Seek social support.The commitment to remain a nonsmoker may be easier if you talk about it with friends and relatives. They can celebrate with you as you check off another day, week and month as a nonsmoker. Tell the people close to you that you might be tense for a while, so they know what to expect. They'll be sympathetic when you have an urge to smoke and can be counted on to help you resist it. Remember to call on your friends when you are lonely or you feel an urge to smoke. A buddy system is a great technique. Facts to Know The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2012, 72,590 women will die from lung cancer, compared to the 39,510 women who will die from breast cancer. About 70 percent of smokers claim in surveys that they want to quit, and more than 50 percent of smokers report having tried to quit in the past year. However, the long-term success rate of a single unaided attempt to quit is low—only about 5 percent to 7 percent of smokers who attempt to quit are still not smoking one year later. The health benefits of smoking far outweigh any risk of weight gain caused by quitting smoking. Research shows that the average weight gain after quitting smoking is six to eight pounds. Quitting smoking saves money. A pack-a-day smoker, who pays $9 a pack, can expect to save more than $3,200 per year. At $11 a pack (the price in New York City), that amounts to a saving of $4,015! As the price of cigarettes continues to rise, so will the financial rewards of quitting. Cigarette smoking causes lung and other cancers, emphysema and heart disease. An estimated 443,000 U.S. deaths each year are caused by cigarette smoking. But smoking also affects nearly every other organ system and disease in a negative way. The Environmental Protection Agency has listed passive cigarette smoke (also known as secondhand smoke) as a carcinogen, and The American Lung Association reports that it causes close to 50,000 deaths per year. Key Q&A Am I addicted to nicotine?When addicted smokers try to quit, they go through a variable withdrawal period. If you experience symptoms such as anger, difficulty sleeping, cravings, mood swings, increased hunger, weight gain and difficulty concentrating when you stop nicotine, you are likely addicted. Are there specific risks for women who smoke?Women who smoke experience all the same health risks as men do: lung and other cancers, coronary heart disease and stroke and severe lung diseases. In addition, they have other serious risks, including risks to their reproductive health. If you smoke while you are pregnant, you are putting yourself and your unborn child at increased risk for complications. Well-known risks of smoking during pregnancy are bleeding complications, prematurity and low birth-weight babies. Many studies have documented a link between smoking during pregnancy and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Why do I enjoy smoking so much?Nicotine's effect on the central nervous system is what makes smoking pleasurable. Nicotine can induce relaxation and relieve anxiety or boredom and irritability. Nicotine also can improve your mood because of its effect on brain chemicals that regulate emotion and pleasure. Once smoking becomes a part of your everyday routine, the mere handling of a cigarette can become soothing. I failed to quit smoking once. Does this mean I am doomed to smoke forever?It takes multiple attempts at quitting before many smokers become lifelong nonsmokers. You may be successful on your first try, but if you aren't, don't give up. Cigarettes hook smokers in three powerful interlocking ways, each of which needs to be addressed when you are trying to quit: physical addiction habit emotional dependence If you feel you need help to quit, talk to your health care professional about nicotine replacement therapies or buproprian (Zyban) or varenicline (Chantix).. What is the first step in quitting smoking?A positive decision to quit is the foundation of a successful smoking cessation program. Try to avoid negative thoughts about how difficult it might be. Make a list of reasons to quit smoking and a list of reasons to continue smoking. Add to them daily. Develop strong personal reasons, in addition to your health and obligations to others. For example, think of all the time you waste taking cigarette breaks, rushing out to buy a pack, hunting for a light, etc. Will I gain weight if I quit smoking?For many women, the fear of weight gain is a real concern and one that is used to rationalize continued smoking. The average amount of weight gained after quitting smoking is six to eight pounds, which not everyone is able to easily offset by changes in diet and exercise. However, women who smoke must weigh the many other benefits of quitting, especially health benefits, including cosmetic benefits, such as clean hair, teeth, fewer wrinkles and so on. The health benefits of quitting vastly outweigh health harm from any weight gain, experts say. How long will it take for my health to improve after I quit smoking?Within 20 minutes of your last cigarette, your blood pressure and pulse rate drop and the body temperature in your hands and feet increase to normal levels. In 24 to 48 hours the carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal and oxygen carried in the blood increases. Your risk of heart attack decreases. In 48 hours your nose's nerve endings start regenerating, and your senses of taste and smell are enhanced. You will breathe easier, although you may notice that you may continue to cough more for awhile. And you will be free from the mess, smell, inconvenience, expense and dependence of cigarette smoking. My partner smokes and refuses to quit. How can I limit my exposure even though we live together?If you live with a smoker, ask him or her not to smoke inside your home. Discuss how his or her habit puts you at risk. If your partner is unwilling to go outside, suggest ways to limit the exposure of smoke for you. Maybe a room could be set aside for smoking—one that is seldom used by other members of the household. Some smokers protect others at home by smoking near an open window or when no one is around. It also helps to keep rooms well-ventilated and open windows. Read the full article

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ranseltoska · 7 years

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Maybe, not today.

Last night I dreamed something that really scared me that I end up waking up and crying out loud. Last night, I slept at 5 am in the morning because I watched a drama that I really like. Today I had a very late breakfast and lunch, like 4 pm in the afternoon and not eating any single meal before that. Today I went to department store to buy something that related to my college project and spend my time at convenient store to think more about something. I finished the book I currently read--that is a nice book-- and I bought a book impulsively from a secondhand online book. I watched some random drama briefly and suddenly cried because of the sweet scene. I just took a shower and washed my hair and thought about cutting it of and I haven’t sleep yet at this very late at night. Tomorrow I have a meeting and it is really freaking me out. Then in a week I will do my school project where I will live with ten other students in village and do some projects and I really don’t know how can I socialize and survive this project. And with all of the feelings inside--excited but kinda worry but kinda happy and sad and confused and freaking out and curious and angry and calm and so many things-- I want to tell you the things that I felt that much.

Yes, you. Someone from the future that maybe will come or maybe will not, but I really hope you will. You know that I currently feel so ignorant about this kind of things, right? But suddenly last night I feel like I want you. I really want to meet you as soon as I can. I want you to say that everything will be okay, whenever I told you how worry I am with this school project. I want you to tell me to have my meals properly and sleep before midnight. I want you to ask me about my day--Am I happy? Did I do something excited? I want you to tell me that it is okay if I failed and feeling not okay because I have tried so hard and you know it. I want you wait for me in the coffee shop to have a date and welcome me with your smile. I want you to tell me to stop looking down to myself because I did good and you are proud of me. I want you to tell me the song you just listened that reminds you of me, the book you bought impulsively because you think I will like it, the movie that you think we should watch it together. I want you to call me when I have a very nightmare and ask me to sleep again because this time you won’t end the phone call. I want you to understand why I became this kind of people, that change her mood easily, that emotionally exhausted, that believe to some unpopular choices, that feel everything and nothing at all in one same time. I want you to hug me whenever I cried and tell me you won’t leave until I feel calm. I want you to make me sure that we won’t let go each other. I want you to make me feel the butterfly in my stomach whenever I see you. I want you to stay there when I told you all of my feelings, insecurities, anxieties, flaws, dark secrets, demons and just saying I accept you the way you are. I want you to take my hand and encourage me that whatever things that wait for us in the end of this way, we’re still gonna be together. I want you to tell me that no matter how freaking out I am with this life and reality, I will survive because you will be there to save me and if I get lost you promise you’ll find me. I really want you to cross the path that I have been crossing right now so we can meet anytime soon.

But maybe not right now. Maybe not today. Not today, because I still have so many things going on in my life and I need to figure it out by myself. Not today, because I still feel insecure about myself and the only people who can knock it down is me. Not today, because I still have no fucking clue where will life bring me to but I guess I just have to play along with it. Not today, because I still have to learn to accept myself just the way it is and be okay with it. Not today, because I still feel so lost that I need to find my little soul and bring it home. Not today, because I haven’t recovery yet from the past that still hurt, from the anger that still hold inside, from the sadness that I still remember, from the vengeance that I still not let go, forgive, and forget. Not today, because I still have so many feelings that I can’t explain yet and I need to define it. Not today, because I still don’t know what I want in life, what I want to achieve, what I like, what I want to be and I need to discover it first in order to survive. Not today, because future still freak me out and I need to be brave and deal with it. Not today, because I still don’t do what I really like persistently and I need to found out the passion that drive me through all of this.Not today, because I still hide the demons from myself and I need to make peace with it so I can live with it. Not today, because I still get lost somewhere in the dark alley and I need to find the light to guide me home. Not today, because I still hang my happiness with other people and I need to feel happy with myself. Not today, because in order to feel loved, we must love ourselves first.

Let’s wait and hang in there a little bit before crossing that same path. Let’s have peace with our soul before meeting each other. Let’s figure out this life and the journey we want to take before walking the same road. Let’s find our light before lighten up each other’s soul. Let’s be sure about this feeling before get lost and find each other’s home. And if you already are, promise me you will come soon and stay, but maybe not today.

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gotoocollectorheart-blog · 6 years

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Smoking and Addiction

Overview

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gotoocollectorheart-blog · 6 years

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Smoking and Addiction

Overview

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