#maybe thats just optimistic thinking but its a nice thought. This All In Relation to having faith in ichi to Not game end himself 💀

[todayisafridaynight]

tw // suicide

on twitter some ppl were talking about THAT jo scene from iw again and someone commented fucking "you know he was thinking about using that gun on himself" and im not sane anymore !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! added something something his faith in ichi kept him hopeful enough in the moment but then when he went to jail oh. ohhh !!!!!!!!!!!

nooo cause if That Jo Scene is the flashback scene with hoshino's death that really had to be SUUUCH a low point if not top five lowest points for him i wanted to throw up watching that <- replays it in my brain constantly

#iw spoilers #snap chats #UGH I WANNA REPLAY IW SO BAD i still wanna see the scenes with english dubbing but i wanna finish lost judgment first #in any case no i love that scene. like you can see the will to live leave jo's body as he goes to sit down #god naw cause i was laughing (read: crying) over how jo really let that dog comment get to him. loved that really .... #i do enjoy the added context to sawashiro and his relationship with ichi even if its sort of one sided #like ichis never really harbored ill will towards him- hes not happy about how sawashiro treated him back then LOL #but it was still clear he respected him #with sawashiro- like once you know the whole locker mix up secret then it contextualizes their relationship (from jo's pov anyway) #but just sawashiro having actually MET akane and speaking with her and listening to her wish .. idk. #its a nice thought that- for as hard as he is on ichi- he is trying to look out for him for akane's sake #emphasis on For As Hard As He Is like my man you dont gotta take his finger off 💀💀 in any case ... #maybe thats just optimistic thinking but its a nice thought. This All In Relation to having faith in ichi to Not game end himself 💀 #god but sawashiro in jail .. i really wouldve paid money just to know what was going through his head #how he reacted to aoki's death the moment he was told- like he already knew aoki never valued him but still... fathers love and all #ive rambled long enough vjlLKVEJVLKEJ BYE

[itsthwippingtime]

so on Thanksgiving i saw Frozen 2 and it was AMAZING and I've only just now had the time and energy to finish my thoughts on the movie and share it with y'all so here it is. Disclaimer: Sorry for how long it is

!!!!! MAJOR FROZEN 2 SPOILERS AHEAD !!!!!!!!!

first, baby anna and elsa???? I’m dead

thjkhsdhjk the story they came up with is literally how every child played with barbie dolls and doll houses

(children are so dramatic also why did we all have the same childhood)

oooh mystery about the past 

their dad is so dramatic now i know where Anna and Elsa get it from

four spirits: Earth Wind Air Water how original

(everything changed when the fire nation attacked)

(okay but while their dad was telling the story about the northedral (???) i was totaling believing this is where Elsa got her powers from)

THEIR DAD WAS SAVED BY THE VOICE

(but Elsa was born with powers so her mom is totally magical)

where the nORTH WIND MEEEEETS THE SEEEAAAAA

i love their mom omg i love this song also

(okay but at this point i was like??? did their mom save their dad)

ELSA IN PURPLE I LOVE HER

Elsa being startled and sticking herself to the railing with ice is comedic gold

ANNA’S HAIR I LOVE IT

why is Olaf’s never-ending existential crisis the most relatable thing in this movie 

also i love this song about things never changing

hi the line about a stone wall never falling??? FORESHADOWING

KRISTOFF LOVES HER I LOVE HIM HE IS SO PURE

HE HAS A RING

Elsa singing about being afraid of change but seizing the day?? CHARACTER GROWTH 

Arendelle flag will always fly??? FORESHADOWING

family game night??? i fucking love it

Olaf shouldn’t be allowed to play charades that way Anna is right

but Olaf imitating Elsa??? iconic

Elsa playing charades is me playing charades

THE VOICE

TELL ANNA ELSA

oooh Kristof honey don’t,, don’t do it like that,,, honey

if Elsa is comforted by their mom’s scarf where was their mom’s scarf in the first movie??

Anna singing Elsa to sleep????? so pure

THE VOICE (AGAIN!)

INTO THE UNKNOOOOOWWWWWWWN

i love this song

‘Everyone I’ve ever loved is here within these walls’ so she loves Kristof???? good me too

where does Kristof sleep?

THE SPIRITS!!! HER ICE IS SHOWING HER THE SPIRITS RIGHT????

oh its the part with the ice suspended in air from the trailer

EARTH AIR FIRE AND WATER 

so um the fire went out and its windy and they’re going to the cliffs???? okay???

ummm Elsa did you awake the spirits on purpose??? did you know what you were doing?? you never said it was an accident????

Elsa you cant go alone you’re team has to go with you or else its not much of a movie now is it Elsa. don’t be selfish share some screen time

i just love their outfits so much i want to be a princess in Norway please and thanks

Olaf and his fun facts are literally me

ELSA’S ICE CASTLE THERE SHE IS i wonder if they ever go there. is it a vacation home

water has memory FORESHADOWING

‘Elsa and Olaf are asleep,,, whatcha wanna do?’ UM WHAT

’Sven, keep us steady’ UMMMMM WHAT

THIS IS A PG MOVIE I WAS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE NEXT TO MY TEN YEAR OLD COUSIN THANKS DISNEY

oh Kristof honey

oh no Anna he didnt mean it like that

Kristof stop just stop

ooooh the voice is back

‘Kristof stop’ ‘Good idea’ I’m dead

i don’t really remember what happens in between them stopping and them finding the mist if anything but THE MIST

oooh they’re locked in. nice

okay so wind. thats fun.

the wind spirit is v smart because she knows which one is Elsa 

her name is Gale and i love her

hello water has memory

their father being saved by a young girl??? it’s their mom

okay so the northuldra (i googled it) begin to attack? or advance at least

ARENDELLE GUARDS

okay but lieutenant whats his name can get it

they’re frenemies

Olaf’s recap of the first Frozen is comedic gold i want him and Luis from Ant-Man to get together

i don’t really remember what happens at this part but: Elsa and Anna learn that their mom saved their dad (CALLED IT), their mom is northuldra (KINDA CALLED IT) and everyones been trapped in the mist since their grandfather was killed

(which that story is fishy but i don’t think king Elsa & Anna’s dad would lie so????)

OH WAIT FIRE SPIRIT HAPPENED BEFORE ELSA AND ANNA LEARNED ABOUT THEIR MOM

AND OLAF’S SONG OMG

samantha?

(that part was so simple yet so funny omfg)

olaf: “this will all make sense when i am older” all the adults in the room: :/

also notice how Elsa is mindful enough to keep the fire spirit away from the northuldra’s homes??? like i love her???

I LOVE HIM i think his name is Brunie but i don’t know how the people at the Disney Store came to that conclusion 

oh also Kristof and Sven run in to save the reindeer but Anna is only worried about Elsa??? idk maybe she knows Kristof can take care of himself and knows that Kristof knows when it becomes too dangerous but Elsa is going to try to stop the threat until she physically can’t and at that point it may be too late okay i get it

(okay but if they’ve been trapped and nothing can get in or out what do they eat??? like theres a lot more northuldra than arendelle guards so do they have designated areas they’re allowed to go in?? what do they do with the people who died?? probably bury them)

(also some if them are born in there and they’ve been in for decades so a generation maybe the beginning of the next one but how many of them are related????)

Kristof has a new friend and I’m so glad they’re not fighting over Anna

(take that toxic masculinity)

HES GONNA HELP HIM PROPOSE I LOVE IT

Reindeers are better than people (cont’d.)

the following are my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods

that guitar riff (?) at the very beginning? sexy

“you had to go and of course its always fine”

because Kristof loves Anna and knows that Anna loves him and they can do different things and still be in love and he doesn’t have to constantly be over her and controlling what she does

(take that toxic masculinity part TWO)

OKAY BUT Kristof saying its fine while simultaneously worrying that he’s losing Anna is absolutely breaking my heart

NORTH IS SOUTH RIGHT IS LEFT WHEN YOU’RE GONE

Kristof: “and i don’t know what path you are on” me: :((((

I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS A QUESTION OF WHETHER

WHO AM I???? IF IM NOT YOUR GUUUYYY?????

WHERE AM I???? IF WE’RE NOT TOGETHEEEERRRRRRR??????? FOREEEEVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRR

NOW I KNOW YOU’RE MY TRUE NORTH CAUSE I AM LOST IN THE WOODS

UP IS DOWN DAY IS NIGHT WHEN YOU’RE NOT THERE

YOU’RE MY ONLY LANDMARK SO IM LOST IN THE WOODS

WONDERING IF YOU STILL CARE

BUT ILL WAIT FOR A SIGN

(FOR A SIGN) 

(peep the Queen reference)

THAT I’M YOUR PATH CAUSE YOU ARE MIN

UNTIL THEN IM LOST IN THE WOODS

this concludes my favorite parts/lines from Lost In The Woods

every time i type Lost In The Woods I wanna type Lost Into The Woods

okay SO

Olaf doing the siren call with Elsa is comedic gold

THEIR PARENTS SHIP OH MY GOD

peep Olaf with that gruesome “maybe there was nobody on board” when they asked how the ship was able to get through the mist

peep Olaf with the “why didn’t they just make the whole ship waterproof” 

THEY WERE GOING TO FIND WHERE THE NORTH WIND MEETS THE SEA THE RIVER FILLED WITH MEMORIES

THEY WERE GOING FOR ELSA

WATER HAS MEMORY BITCH

ELSA BBY ITS NOT YOUR FAULT

LISTEN TO ANNA YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR CHOICES

so they go to the river

(low-key thought that was their goal the whole time but its fine)

ELSA!!! ANNA AND OLAF HAVE TO GO WITH YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

if Disney doesn’t make the ice-canoe part of the Frozen Ride in Epcot in some way shape or form i will be deeply disappointed

uh oh rock giants

oh waterfall

cave

thats fun

ah Olaf always the optimist

(but where did Anna get flint?)

Anna’s hair??? i love it

oooh Elsa on the beach

she can’t get her shoes or coat wet i understand

PONYTAIL?????

GO BITCH

YAAASSS QUEEN USE THOSE ICE POWERS

oh shit that water horse is trying to drown her

what the fuck he’s actually trying to drown her

AH SHIT ITS ELSA’S WATER HORSE NOW

YAAASSSS BITCH

sdahjhdskjhdsjk

ITS A GLACIER BECAUSE WHY FUCKING NOT

every inch of me is trembling

SHOOWW YOURSELLLF

ELSA HAS A DUET WIHT HER MOMN

IM FINE

ELSASN IS TBHE FIFHT SPRIT

THE BRIDGE

ELSA’S NEW OUTFIT AND HER HAIR I WANT

WATER HAS MEMORY

Elsa destroyed Han’s memory I’m dead

OH SHIT KING RICHARD (Elsa & Anna’s grandfather, i don’t remember his name)

KING RICHARD IS AFRAID YAASSS QUEEN TELL HIM ELSA

WAIT ELSA

GO TO FAR AND YOULL BE DROWNED 

ELSA WAIT

oh shit she jumped

OH SHIT SHES COLD BUT THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED HER ANYWAY

OH SHIT KING RICHARD KILLING THAT GUY FOR NO REASON

OH SHIT ELSA’S FROZEN

BUT SHE SHOT OUT ONE LAST ICE THINGY

we now return to this episode of Olaf and Anna Alone In A Dimly Lit Area With A Little Bit Of Fire

YAASSS ANNA GOT THE MESSAGE

BREAK THE DAMN

but Arendelle

OLAF

why isn’t that when Olaf and Anna are alone one of them is always dying

now i understand the no context memes featuring spider-man from Infinity War

okay so you’re telling me that Anna learned that her sister is frozen (pun intended) and Olaf dies in her arm and she still finds the energy to save Arendelle/the forest???

GO ANNA YOU GO GIRL ITS GONNA BE ALRIGHT

DISNEY CAN’T KILL ELSA AND OLAF THEY’D LOOSE TOO MUCH MONEY 

oh shit the rock giants

KRISTOF TO THE RESCUE

AND SVEN OF COURSE

WHAT DO YOU NEED I LOVE HIM

THEY BROKE THE DAMN

OH NO ANNA DONT FALL

ANNA GET OUT OF THERE

LIEUTENANT WHATS HIS NAME AND KRISTOF SAVE ANNA TOGETHERDSKJAD

ELSA AND THE WATER HROSE THEY SAVE ARENDELLE SYDJHASDJKFHSDA

the Arendelle citizens literally are so hilarious to me all they know is: the spirits are mad and all the heirs to their thrones went on a dangerous journey to save their kingdom, with no guards to protect them, then a tidal wave comes rushing towards their homes and suddenly their Queen who has always been quiet, modest, and reserved comes riding in on a fucking water horse in a boss ass outfit with her hair down and saves the kingdom. like???? imagine being on that cliff??? and all they do is clap???? I’m so dead

poor Anna :((( but Kristof is doing his best to comfort him like i love him

ELSA GO TO HER ANNA GO 

THEY’RE CRYING CAUSE THEYRE SO HAPPY KJDASDHSJKHFJKSAD

ARENDELLE IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY

OLAF IS SAVED ANNA ITS OKAY

KRISTOF PROPOSED IN THE DORKIEST WAY BUT ANNA’S REACTION WAS THE CUTEST I LOVE IT

(WATER HAS MEMORY)

ELSA STAYS AND ANNA IS QUEEN

CUT TO ANNA’S CORONATION AND THE NEW STATUE AND THE ENCHANTED FOREST IS ICE NOW AND ELSA HAS A WATER/ICE HORSE AND GALE HELPS ANNA AND ELSA COMMUNICATE AND THE ROCK GIANTS ARE NICE AND BRUNIE IS STILL THE CUTEST AND ANNA AND ELSA STILL HAVE FAMILY GAME NIGHT

(okay but did anyone else find it odd that Elsa didn’t go to Anna’s coronation)

(also the Northudral are just totally fine with living in ice and snow and cold now too??? idk i guess Elsa asked first but whatever its not like they can say much she’s the fifth spirit so)

Olaf wearing clothes has me dead

Anna: tells Kristof she likes him “better in leather” me: when does he wear… leather :O (Anna’s freaky yo)

final thoughts: Amazing movie, the constant shade of Hans was absolute gold, Kristof is so pure, Anna and Elsa’s relationship is so amazing, everyone’s character growth is absolutely amazing

if you read all of this, bless you child I’m so sorry it was so long

#IM SORRY OKAY #thank you for coming to my ted talk #theres so many other things I've missed but i saw it last week and i just #i cant #frozen 2 #frozen 2 spoilers #frozen spoilers

[obeymematches]

Hey, it’s me again! :) Can I get a matchup please? I’m 5’0, short brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin and glasses (I know you don’t pay attention to looks, but thought I’ll just tell you some basic things ^_^). I’m very open-minded, friendly and curious, I like making friends but I’m super shy, I tend to be very reserved and quiet on the outside, which often makes me seem cold, when actually I’m very emotional, caring and kind inside, I just don’t always know how to express it. Also when it comes to something I love and am passionate about, my quietness goes away and no one can shut my mouth! I like being creative and unique, one of my fears is actually being just a regular person who’s not any special, so I always try to think outside of the box. I like being feminine, wearing makeup and cute clothes, I love fashion in general and I like expressing myself through clothing or cute accessories. I have a passion for learning, I know I have a lot of things to learn and I’m excited to know more things about the world. I’m very emotionally mature and intelligent, I like having deep conversations and I’m a type of person who would listen to anything you have to say. I like giving people advice and encouragement, and I always, always try to be kind to others, even when I don’t really want to, because I know there are things I’m unaware of and that person could be going through a hard time, and a little act of kindness could mean a lot to them, so I always try to put myself in others’ shoes and be understanding, and I think I’m quite good at that since I don’t lack empathy. I don’t need anything special to make me happy, putting on a nice outfit and makeup, watching my favorite anime or petting a cute dog can make me the happiest person. Despite being mature, I’m also a little childish, I’m the youngest sibling and for some reason I like when some relatives take care of me like I’m a little kid. I’m very awkward and lack confidence, talking in a large group of people and being in the center of attention can make me nervous. I wish to become more confident and be able to express my emotions without any fears. I’m quite the procrastinator, there are a lot of things I want to do but more often than not, I end up just watching Netflix. I love cartoons, especially anime, Disney and Winx Club, sweets, stuffed toys, books, animals, art and nature. I like collecting things like bookmarks or dolls, also I’m a Ravenclaw and an INFP! Wheew, this was reeeally long! I’d be very glad if you decide to do this! Thank you in advance and I hope you have a nice day!

Hi! I sent you a matchup request a while ago, but I just read the new rules and you said that if we mention our favorites you’ll try to match us with them,so I decided to let you know that mine is Mammon! But if you see that someone else is a better match for me than it’d be better if you match me with who you think is the best. And also, what I look for in a partner is being kind, funny, easygoing and making me feel comfortable to be myself around them. Thank you so much! Have a lovely day!

Hi! Sorry for being late, I hope you like the result!

Thank you for letting me know that you like Mammon! I was thinking about how this relationship would be with someone else but tbh I think he is a good enough candidate!

Here is the evidence:

You say you like funny and easygoing people and out of the brothers he is the one to fit this description the best!

I think he would find it cute that you’re so shy but adorable! He would make sure to spend time around you and be attached to your hip so he can help you warm up to him! 

And with that probably to the others as well but that will never be his intention

He has time expressing some of his feelings too, now I mean he is the local tsundere; of course he would rather come off as this guy with cool sunglasses rather than an actually very caring and silly older brother

I think he would be surprised to hear you talk so much about things you like, because he probably got used to you being so shy. I mean this in a good way, like he would be surprised but he would never dare to tease you too much about it.

Oh I think he can really apreciate your mentality of wanting to be unique! To him you’ll always be the most unique and special human he has ever met! 

Pretty sure he would actually get you to do modelling, I mean just look at you!! 

Honestly he would boost your confidence so much, because he has no idea why you come off so reserved at first but actually you are such a fun and pretty person 

The fact that you’re into learning could motivate him, but let’s not assume that you can really change that part about him. Maybe sometimes he would like to impress you with something he learned but 9 out of 10 times it would be something money-earning related and it’s up to you if you’re into that! 

Hmmmm.. So far in canon, Mammon isn’t really the one to be into deep conversations? but he could definitely teach you a thing or two about saving cash or earning without having to actually do much 

 If you want to talk about the big things of life and death he might not be the first person you ask, but you would be surprised when he sees you discussing it with someone else, making him join in! really he would maybe make a fool out of himself in front of [person you chose to have a deep discussion with], but once you hear what he has to say, you might decide that he has a point! 

later when you tell him that you want to have more of these talks, he might sometimes come up with something for you! he really cares after all! 

honestly he would really really appreciate your kindness!! he gets picked on by his brothers so often, its always a fresh breath of air when someone is actually nice to him 

at first he might not believe that you are sincere about it but with time he would quickly stick to you like glue 

he would be so proud to have a partner so careful and sweet like you!! 

i think he really goes well with someone who is very optimistic like you, and can appreciate the small things of life. it just makes the two of you have this happy aura around you and thats so rare! 

he can be quite reckless at times, and the fact that you are the opposite of that will make him calm down sometimes a bit and pay closer attention to whether or not you feel comfy at a party, but slowly you’d learn from him how to be a bit more loose! 

Pretty sure he would invite you out a lot so he can kind of show you off, you know?? not everyday a cute human like you stays in the Devildom!! 

But other times dates would include some chilling time inside, like you don’t have to go out every day! so time for some netflix! 

So in conclusion: both of you are generally an optimistic person, so I think it’s nice that you have the same vibe and energy. He is a bit more loose than you and probably spending time with him would make you more like him in that sense, but you’re intelligent and mature enough to not grow any bad trait of him in yourself. On the other hand, you could give him the emotional support a good partner can give! 

#obey me #om! #obey me! #obey me matchup #obey me mammon #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #swd obey me #submission

[restoringtheattic]

Still navigating...

Hey y'all!

I'm back again! I'm going to attempt to reserve this post to "navigating life after Traumatic brain injury"

That is if my #tbi brain don't get the best of me and I start rambling about everything else 😂🙄

The organ which is the essence of everything I think and feel has been traumatically injured 😱

"Can I get a band-aid for my brain, please" 🙋

If only it were that simple, right? 🙄

I feel as a theif has broke into my skull and went through the cabinets and corners of my brain and has stolen my most important and precious belongings. Everything is fair game for brain injury to take and damage.

Now, it's been my ongoing mission to recover these things and place them back where they belong. But, like any good detective knows, this will not be easily done without some tenacious investigative work. 💪

When you recover these things, they are likely to be damaged. Maybe some missing parts. Broken and bruised. As you recover these items, you also have the task of attempting to place these things back EXACTLY where they were taken from. Impossible!

But, that's okay.🙏

I have to rearrange these items because I can't recall exactly where they were when they were taken from me. As I recover the pieces, I will arrange them back to something that looks similar to how it was before but not quite the same.

And thats okay 😊

"What if I don't find all the pieces that were stolen?!"

Well, that's okay too 😊 not without saying it can be incredibly hard to come to terms with not recovering your " missing parts". Our brains are banks that hold invaluable things, personality, emotions, memories, the very basis of how we function in life, the list is neverending. When these things are hijacked , the impact can be profound. But just maybe if we can learn to become more accepting of this "new normal" we can be more productive individuals. As for myself, Its an ongoing process to arrive at that "acceptance" destination. Which in part is what this blog is about 💕

I spent the first year or more after my injury in a sort of "Brain injury training course". Laying out the groundwork for my life that had been so suddenly rearranged. That year was undoubtedly the toughest, crawling my way around this new reality like a newborn. My emotions fluctuated, my reactions were intense. I was quick to respond without thinking anything through, and those responses weren't always nice 😡 Shout out to my family and friends for dealing with that for the first year, I'm positive I was a pain in the 🍑😂. (not to say I'm any less of a pain in the ass now 😂) With time and treatment, those things leveled out. 🙏

I withered so much time away being angry and asking "why me". Angry at myself, angry at God for "letting this happen", angry at the universe for letting me suffer. I felt as if the brain injury itself was just rotting away my mind.

It wasn't until I was talking to a former coworker I realized how negatively self absorbed I was being. I will be eternally grateful for that conversation and her bringing that issue to light.

"Lindsey, you've literally been given a second chance at life, your going to sit here and 🤬 waste it being mad at the world?".

I was offended at first! How could she say that to me?! I was injured, I was broken .

I had to sit with that thought for a minute before I responded (which proved I was capable of thinking before responding 😅) It didn't take me long to realize she was right. I needed to change my outlook. I was here, I had the tools to overcome this. I just had to put one foot in front of the other, so to speak 😊

I definitely still have many struggles, but so does everyone else. The world is not going to "give me a break" just because I have a brain injury.

The struggles I feel that impact me most are related to my physical appearance, but again, that's my own internalization of what I see in the mirror, not because anyone has told me I look weird or different. I'll be the first to tell you I'm not comfortable with what I see in the mirror when looking at my face (related to injuries from the accident) . Which is something I'm still working to overcome, with cosmetic surgery AND working within myself to make sure I have the right outlook- and that's OKAY 😊

The only person who can be responsible for how you will recover is yourself. I encourage anyone to always have the most optimistic attitude possible when it comes to yourself and how you bounce back.

Wherever you are in your recovery process, remember IT is OKAY. Progress, however slow or fast is still progress. Don't spend too much time in your own mind and think of things you could have done differently. These bodies that serve home to our souls are human, prone to damage, illness and error. There's nothing you could have done differently, you are where you're supposed to be. Brain injury isn't a "punishment", it's something that happens because we are human. God isn't up there handing out TBI punishment cards to us that misbehave on Earth (not to say you don't have to answer for your actions, but that's an entirely different blog post not related to this at all 🤨) with that being said it's up to you to deduct your own reasoning and purpose from your situation. As crazy as my journey has been, I can look back and identify a reason and purpose or lesson for every single tough time along the way.

As a final note, remember to laugh! 😂 laugh at everything, laugh at yourself if you have to (lord knows I do) there's definitely something therapeutic about finding humor in your own situation!

Thank you guys for reading!

Love and light to all of you🕯️❤️

As always, if there's anything I can ever help you with or discuss with you, just message me, find me on Facebook or Instagram, send a smoke signal etc...😂

IG: lindz_606

📧: [email protected]

#tbi treatment #tbisurvivor #neurosurgery #living with trauma #face trauma #eye trauma #traumatic brain injury

[fisherfurbearer]

minor optimism even though things are sad and 🅱️ ad

on a mildly optimistic note here's a little ramble about what i was planning on doing in this pivot point year of 2020 :

- overhaul our Many Garden areas with native wildflowers and grasses we have a BIG front garden but it's all ferns and some sort of evergreen groundcover...would be so cool to replant it and get some native inverts thriving in there too

- fix my two raised garden beds for vegetables and plant stuff on time - get into 🅱️ eekeeping and join the county 🅱️ eekeeper's society its the most logical next step into my Plans. low maintenance, very rewarding, new bug friends, and theres even a fan club for it

- take an online grafting master class with the incredibly cool lady who runs my favorite Apple blog and hopefully get my first fruit trees?? whatever i graft in the class and probably some hardy figs and maybe mulberry got big plans for raising Babbits and Ducks/Quail on mulberry and forages and i just love figs so much man im so thankful for the wasps that sacrifice their lives to become Fig and theyre just really tasty and its cool how hardy they are

- get into Fishing...visit Jessie's opa and go fishing together

gain some experience and have a nice time. plan on learning how to fish and process (humanely!!) for consumption...would be a great first step into that side of things and id feel a lot better eating what i catch myself

and if we get to it, id love to plan out making some fenced areas in the backyard (we have a .47 acre plot with a tiny house. its surprisingly nice and has a couple really big trees in the back and a little brush/wooded strip seperating us from the highschool) for my Berry Patches. if not next year, then the following year is a good goal. i want to start with strawberries, then work my way into 🅱️ luebs and 🅱️ rambles. i got BIG PLANS ABOUT THIS guys you have no idea. i also want to raise Babbits and Coturnix Quail and Ducks but im not sure what the order for that would be.

anyway i Had really big great wonderful plans. end goal since it looks like we might be here for the next 4-6 years was to do a simplified version of my Future Big Plans...have a little table at a local market, sell mostly fiber art and preserves.

i wanted to call it The Sterling Sheep -- Sustainable Fruits and Fibers !

i thought it was cute...been in my head for a year now and it still sticks.

i wanted to do...

FIBER ART* [3D needle felting, 2D felting, handspun yarn, crochet**] SOAPMAKING [felted soap, handmade soap ... mostly beeswax and lanolin based, which comes from washing wool anyway. why waste it, you know? and it fits perfectly with beekeeping] BEE PRODUCTS [honey, honeycomb, beeswax] FRUIT PRESERVES [mostly berry-based, focus on native berries***] PICKLED PRESERVES [mostly cucumber based, but also onions and other such pickleables] FRESH/DRIED MUSHROOMS, MAYBE HERBS [i really enjoy mushrooms, and theyd fit well into the theme of preserves and culinary enhancements]

*would probably also sell ink drawing originals in person as well. **still need to learn this! wouldnt be as big of a focus but itd be fun to branch into other fiber arts for sure. oh and even before i get my own sheep, id want to source all of my fiber from local small businesses or farms raising sustainable heritage sheep. i want to join the livestock conservancy and participate in the shave em to save em program to get started on that and hopefully build good relations with folks. ***i want to focus on locally adapted heirlooms and natives in the future, mostly perennial fruit trees, but what better place to start with 🅱️ erries? i want to grow mullberry, blackberry, boysenberry, raspberry (red/gold), chokeberry, honeyberry, blueberry (blue/pink), gooseberry (red/green), elderberry, wild grape (v. labrusca/v. vulpina/v. riparia), and strawberry (standard/wild)

anyway thats the dream. and if i could at least make the same amount i make at walmart currently, or a little less, id consider it pretty dang successful. i have really good feelings about it. had really Great feelings about it until tonight happened, but i dunno man. i dunno.

not much else left to say. but this is whats been on my mind is all. feels good to talk about it. i dont want to think about manager Y anymore, its just not worth it. 🅱️ ees? 🅱️ erries? 🅱️ ushrooms? theyre worth it.

#bees #did you know that if you type beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees #into the search engine in google #it changes the results for every e you add #isnt that a neat fun fact #man my eyes hurt so bad ? still super not ok #but i feel anger now mostly i dont want to have to quit because of one crumby person i dont even care about #but it hurts real bad man!! hoo boy!!! #but at least i still got some minor plans and maybe if things go ok worst case i can... #try to work at the local orchard this spring if i make it taht far... #and start some plans a little early and maybe itll work out...dunno though. who knows.

[the-colony-roleplay]

COLONY 22′S 2ND ANNUAL APPRECIATION AWARDS 

Oh, how much could change in a year. 

Alex Donovan remembered last year, as disinclined as he’d been to agree to be one of the three hosts for the night, how he’d watched the frantic decorating committee’ and thought: well at least I’m not one of those unfortunate fools.

And this year, well—he was very nearly one of those unfortunate fools. He wouldn’t go so far as to say he was one of a ‘committee’, but he’d been helping bring out boxes to the decorating team all ever-loving day,  and several hours ago they’d begun asking his opinion on things and he’d declined to answer at first. But somehow, come 4pm, he’d found himself up to his neck in garlands and twinkle lights and about to be late for his afternoon training session. 

When he walked into the auditorium after dinner (sporting black trousers, a white T-shirt and a deep blue blazer) he had to admit he was impressed. And maybe just a little proud. Because looking around, the room had truly been transformed. A lot of hard work and love had gone into it, clearly, and if nothing else, it would surely make Mitch beam. And Heaven bless that ever-optimistic, selfless man—he deserved at least that this season. It made any suffering on Alex’s part worth it, knowing the event was that much more likely to be the success that the original Calyset Head of House dreamed it would be. 

What set this year apart from the last—aside from the Reformist-shaped elephant in the room—is that they’d gone full out traditional Christmas this year. Not wintery blues and silvers (a good thing, too, because it may have just been a throw back to the Modius’ Brink Tower reopening—not a failure by any means, but just a sore spot on the roof of the mouths of too many here), but instead, warm and boasting golds and reds and forest greens. Rich colours hung from the walls and pillars in thick tapestries and glowing lights. Ribbons and wreaths and candles sprinkled the room with a bursting festiveness, and not one, but three Christmas trees brightened up the room—even the damaged areas, rubble and broken seats simply became the contrasting foundation of effervescent decorations. 

There was even mistletoe. In one or two surreptitious places, waiting patiently for unsuspecting victims.

Okay... so it did look a little like Christmas had thrown up all over the old theatre. But hell—if that was its worst flaw, they had nothing to complain about in their post-apocalyptic today. 

People filtered in slowly, chatting and laughing and mingling about, making comments about their outfits, the decor... and Alex supposed that even those who thought the night a waste of time, at the very least, it couldn’t be said that it hadn’t already brought a certain atmosphere of light-hearted relief over the modest, island Colony. Even if just for a night. 

At about a quarter after seven, the house lights faded in and out three times, a voice coming over the loud speaker to ask that people take their seats, as the ceremonies were about to start. Taking that as his queue (and Christ, he still couldn’t believe Mitch had asked him to do the opening speech this year—though somehow the fact that Alex had been convinced was less of a surprise, considering his track record with being unable to tell that man no, for just about anything) Alex politely excused himself from his conversation with Cambie, and threw Caelan a grin and a wink when he spotted him striding by with Isha and Clay. Left a smile and a light touch on Clayton’s elbow as they crossed each other’s paths. 

And then he was trotting up stage steps, with people still settling into their seats. The lights dimmed, a spotlight panned over to him, and applause grew from the crowd. Chuckling, eyes cast down as he shook his head, he found his place at the podium:

“Good evening, Colony 22. I’d like to start off by saying thank you, to everyone who worked so hard to make this night happen—and that includes all of you who have participated just by being in attendance tonight. Truly, we appreciate it. Because it’s not just about the decorations or the preparation, the drinks or the snacks—though I’m sure the food and drink is the main reason most of you even bothered to show up,” he paused, grinning. “But it’s impossible to nurture a sense of community without all of you—the community. So thank you.” Another pause, and he pointed a wagging finger at Mitch in the second row. “And if nothing else, you can all go home knowing that you’ve put a shit-eating grin on that man’s face—which is apparently how I got suckered into opening tonight’s ceremonies. So while we’re at it, if any of you figure out how to say no to Mr. Douglas, please be sure to come by my office later and loop me in. Preferably before he asks me about doing this again next year.” 

A warm, light chuckle from the audience, and with a smile, Alex continued. “Now, as you’re all aware, I’m not Mitch. I have no poetic to weave you about the trials and tribulations we face on a daily basis and how they bring us together in strength and unity. But that isn’t to say what he has said, and what this night now represents is not of value. In fact, I very much believe it to be true. In times such as these, in the face of change and conflict and rebellion, now more than ever it’s important to remember how we got this far. How we have survived, and how we continue to survive. Because we have not done it through selfishness, or greed. We have not accomplished as much as we have by functioning only as every person for themselves. We have gotten this far through cooperation and support. Through contribution and sacrifice, comfort and strength. 

“I have been here next to three years now, and I have watched so many of you grow, and I am so proud of each and every one of you. What I think is too easy to forget in all of this, is that after what we’ve all faced, every day done is an accomplishment. Every day, we could choose to give up, to turn back, or throw in the towel. Rebuilding is hard. Starting over in the face of loss can feel impossible. So remember to take the time to recognize that.” He paused, threw a grin at the audience. “Well, look at that, I guess I did have some poetic to weave. Kindly blame Douglas for that too, would you?” 

As the audience laughed again, Alex straightened, his tone lightening. “Alright, I’m not going to tell you too much about the awards themselves—I’ll leave that to our lovely hosts, whom I’m very excited to call to the stage and not just because then I can get the hell out of here. But before I do that, I’ll remind you that after the ceremonies there is a reception down at Catch 22, where they’ll be serving food and drinks, and I believe I heard a rumour or two about dancing and karaoke. For which I plan on making myself very scarce. But nevertheless, have an excellent time tonight, happy holidays, and congratulations on wrapping up another fantastic year. 

“And now without further adieu—may I present your hosts for this evening: Orson Hurst, Elsa Copland and Mouse Quinley.” 

A/N: AND SO IT BEGINS!!!

Well folks... Welcome to the last event of 2018! It has not just been a good year at Colony 22, but a spectacular one. I feel like we too, (much like our characters in verse,) have special cause for celebration—not only do we have our fifth year anniversary coming up, but this year has gifted us so many excellent, long-term members joining the family and exciting new plots, characters and development. 

This event will punctuate the year with a bit of light hearted fun that we hope will lead nicely into an exciting 2019 at the Colony, which Lottie and I already have big plans for. We thank you all for being here, for your commitment, enthusiasm and love, and we hope you all stay with us here and continue to write and grow with us for a long time to come!

Now, most of the information you need about the Event Rules themselves I have already posted in detail and you can find here. Make sure you are familiar with them before starting, if you are new to events at the Colony. And if you’re not new, well, it never hurts to have a refresher!

A friendly reminder to send any questions you have about the event to the main blog ASK as we’d prefer to answer them publicly so the knowledge can be shared with everyone, as it’s likely that if you have a question, someone else may be wondering the same thing!

Remember too that this post marks the beginning of the first part of the evening: The Ceremonies only. You are welcome to RP anything that is leading up to the ceremonies, or during, but nothing past into the reception, until you see a post on the mod blog indicated the shift to the second part of the night, which won’t be until after (our real time) Christmas!

Over the next few days, you will see nomination and award reveals on the main blog, and as mentioned in the info post already posted (and linked above), you may continue old threads, or start new ones that are event related (self paras or graphics work too! Just remember that if you make any graphics in photoshop or anything send them to the graphics blog to be posted!) 

Keep in mind that activity will still be monitored over Christmas. I still expect you to meet activity, and I still expect you to contact the main if you need an extension before I have to go chasing you down. The holidays are stressful enough—please do not send me on a wild goose chase. That said, I obviously get it: Holidays can be stressful and busy! So just let us know if you need an extension or hiatus! 

I will do everything in my power to make sure all the awards are queued and posted promptly and when they’ve been promised—but if something comes up, things may shift a little here and there—nothing that should have too much of an effect though. The Reception will hopefully be triggered sometime between the 27th and 29th, depending on schedules. 

Alright, I believe thats all I got for now! But happy holidays everyone, and enjoy! The first awards post will likely roll out here in a few hours!

Much love, 

xxPapa!Mod

#col22awards2 #col22admin #literate rp #original rp #mature rp

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan: 

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right? 

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better 

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes​! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head). 

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids. 

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this! 

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy. 

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read. 

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck” 

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such. 

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

#Anonymous #asks

[finehoney]

hey!! about your post on feeling so sad: i was in the exact same place not too long ago and it was also reaaaally long and reaaally hard. idk abt u but for me it was losing my best friend and getting bullied slightly. most of the resulting bad feelings came from my own head tho. i told myself ppl were out to get me and cared abt everything i did, wore or said. i felt singled out and lonely, like an outsider nobody likes. (1)

(another long ask thread which is relatable asf)

(2) i'm always a very positive happy person usually so that was a real low point for me. i hated going to school and i could tell nobody abt it. maybe thats close to how ur feeling right now, and if so, then im really sorry honey and i feel you. HOWEVER!! i realized i couldnt go on like this forever and started forcing myself to hit up other ppl i didnt do anything with before. it was hard bc i thought theyd dislike me anyways so why try, but i realized quickly that

(3) not everybody is like the bad ppl that hurt you or the unattached ppl that let you down. there are a lot of genuinely nice ppl out there wholl give you a chance if you give them one. now i have a stable support system/friend group again who i looove. most of the change however came from my own head!! the mind is soo powerful in terms of how you view the world. it CREATES your world, a bad one or a good one. make your mind create a good one. its HARD yeah i know but its SO worth it!!!

(4) i had to force myself to think positively again. i had to push myself every day real hard but finally it clicked inside my brain and the clouds parted and light came in again. u have to wake up and think "im great im real cool beans and i know that even if nobody else does right now! but they will cos ill show them!"!! it helps SO much just to force these positive thoughts in your head and after a while u wont have to force them anymore. itll click and u WILL be happy.

(5) ur trapped high up on a cold stormy mountain right now but bc the stormy mountain is in ur head, u can control it and the sun WILL shine past the clouds on u and help u down into the valley again. it ALWAYS gets better! say this out loud: i am okay and i will continue to be ok even if it doesnt seem like it right now! this sadness, anger, lonesomeness etc will NOT last forever!! i wish u all the best, much love! 💕🌸🍀

That is literally exactly what i am going through right now so this advice is so so helpful! it is important to remeber that my head is out to get me so you are right, most of these bad feelings are also coming from my head. I am going to try and be more positive, think brighter thoughts, and be more optimistic, i love your suggestions and ideas and oh my gosh i can not thank you enough, this is all so helpful!!!!!!!!

#i love you #damn you guys have been so cool today #wooo #answered thank you thank you thank you #Anonymous #answered

[yoonminist]

💕 crush stories p4 💕

My relationship with my crush is a little complicated lol she's the softes bean ever and has a lot of problems she doesn't wants to talk about and I'm the only one who's there for her but last year everything just went down because i needed a friend to be there for me but she treated me like shit so i turned to another friend and we started dating. While i was in this relationship my crush got a boyfriend (who treats her like shit) After 6 month of dating my gf me and my crush became best friends again and i spent a lot of time with her. I broke up with my gf last week because i had to realise we only dated because we were both lonely. Now I'm back at pining over the smallest cutest girl in the whole world while i have to take care of her or she would probably die dnkdks i actually got her to watch httyd with me as her bf was being an ass and she loved it even tho she usuall hates animation movies lol 

you’re right this is complicated lmao so she’s still with her bf ??? even though she’s cute and has her own problems you don’t deserve to be treated like shit so i hope you cleared up whatever that was,,, i suggest you take a little time to enjoy being single before you start thinking about dating this crush now because i’ve seen people date for the sake of not being lonely and it usually isn’t good in the long term but good luck!! and i don’t know how bad her bf is but she should dump him

He's not texting since 3 days ago (our first date)... I think i don't like him any more 💔😭 we've been friends for 5 years...

:’( either he treats you better or you drop him bc you deserve better than that ♡

I think im a little strange, there's a guy that i like(a lot) he is really cool, funny and smart, but i think he is gay. Rather than i'm being sad or something alike, i ship him with his friend, but i still liking him. I'm getting crazy :')

ohhhh does he actually like his friend though or do you just ship them because you think he’s gay ?

aaa, so i've liked this guy for almost 3 months and i did the Thing where i told him (which never happens, because i'm usually way too shy and i tend to want to tamp my feelings back to nothing). that night, we spent hrs walking blocks and blocks and he told me he doesn't like anyone atm, which i understood 100%. after that, it really wasn't bad and we actually hung out at a lookout point for a few more hrs into the morning before he took me home. he's the first person in a while that made me feel so nervous, excited, fluttery, good about myself in a long time. i think (i hope) that i'll be over him soon - at the end of it all, he's still a good friend. the butterflies haven't left yet though - my lil heart won't stop hoping and he's not gonna stop being cute and gosh darn attractive and lovely anytime soon 😫 (ty for letting me rant through this! you're one of my favorite blogs 💝) 

THIS IS SO CUTE ahh im glad you went for it!! even though he told you he didn’t like anybody it’s better that you know and don’t spend all this time being hung up on him and wondering about What Ifs so i’m happy for you ♡ he sounds like such a nice friend though so i’m glad you have a person like him in your life and hope that you get over him asap (and thank you !! you’re so sweet 💖)

My crush is an asshole who played push and pull with me for 3 years and recently decided to declare that he likes me, but he's still not sure about us. He said, i quote: 'what if i ask you out and then change my mind' . So we're at square one again😂 he is such an attractive guy, i can't give up on him😭

NO no matter how cute he is you should get rid of him omg what an asshole-ish thing to say,,, trust me even if it’s hard at first you’ll be way happier when you’re over him !! he doesn’t deserve you!!!! ♡

My crush is actually in Korea for the summer (no lie, he's an exchange student at my school). He's so adorable and sweet, but we almost never talk or hang out, and whenever we do I'm always the one to initiate :c Just trying to be optimistic and open about everything rn :s

optimism is good!! hopefully it isn’t because he isn’t interested or already has someone but i guess the best way to find out is always to hint at it or outright ask about his love life ??

Does it count if my crush and I recently married? lol because even though he is my husband not a day goes by that my heart does not flutter with something he does. Wether it be hugging, hand holding or even a smile directed my way, I still get butterflies like crazy. He is the most kind caring and thoughtful person I have had the pleasure of meeting. He is silly and loves laughing. He has the most beautiful eyes and smile I have ever seen. But maybe I'm just being biased lol I love my crush 💜

AWWW CONGRATS ON YOUR MARRIAGE this is so nice ✨✨✨ i love this n hope you’re happy together for As Long As You Both Shall Live

The last time I had an actual full blown crush on someone it was in seventh grade and Jesus Christ let me tell you I was so dramatic over it?? The dude's initials are M.J and I once burst into tears cause I saw the letters on my tv once and we had these letter stickers back then so I put M and J together next to the Pc and whenever someone asked about it I was like it's Michael scofield bc that was back when prison break was ongoing. God I cringe so much now when I look back at it lmaoooo

you burst into tears when you saw his initials fjngjnfjgfn   

Okay so my crush is a girl and omfg, she's so pretty?? Her hair falls just above her shoulders and she has brown hair & brown eyes and I take most of my classes with her, but we have the most fun in German, Economics & Managment and Organisation. So she has a lot of... character (idk lol). She is hella stubborn and takes shit from no one but so do I so we banter and insult each other A LOT, but it's always playful so we never feel insulted. But the thing is that i'm a girl too And I didn't even know I liked girls too until I met her lol (so now i'm a closet bi girl). But the thing that gives me hope is that we low key flirt? We send each other snaps stating how much we love each other and always call each other bae/babe etc. I know girl friends do this but it's different I don't even act that way with my best friend and neither is she? And she once confessed to me that she kissed a girl when she was really drunk, but didn't feel anything with it And once we were hanging out with friends, she was drunk and this guy was lying on top of her (a friend who gets real touchy when drunk, but it was all good no harassment of some sorts) she like kept calling me to help, nothing real big. But she also got jealous once when I send a snapchat to her best friend (she was with her @ the time) & she was like why didn't you snap me? So i'm really confused and idk if she likes me too? Sorry for the ramble :(

i relate to this so much lmao i found out i was bi through my first gf too so this all sounds AWFULLY familiar,, i’ll just say if you joke about being in a r/s all the time it’s a sign that you should level it up to a real one but from what you’re telling me i have a good feeling about this!! i hope she really is into you and that you end up dating ❤ (and that you keep me updated whoops)

so im in marching band and there's this one guy in color guard who's really good and the way he can move his body is just like impossible to look away from? and he's really attractive like the other day he was wearing a shirt that had kind of a low neckline and his collarbone was really prominent and i just ahhh??? im not sure if he knows i exist but he's just really attractive help

I LOVE IT I HOPE HE NOTICES YOU AND IT’S LOVE @ FIRST SIGHT

im crushing on this guy for over 3 years. he is a meanie but i like him a lot :') this past week he confessed and said he liked me. but he is not sure if he wants a relationship. we even went out on something like a date :D im very confused rn ahahaha

you need to be clear with this kind of stuff in a r/s so just ask him!! trust your gut though, no matter how much you like him i think that if you don’t think you’ll be happy dating him then just don’t do it :’( ♡

Hey it's the anon that may or may not be gay who has a crush on the girl named Ramona. So.... I think I fucked up. A few friends of mine threw this huge party this weekend and I made sure to tell Ramona so she'd go (I mean goody2shoes at a party come on how cute is that?) So about an hour or 2 into the party she shows up with some friends and I hang around her most of the night, and when I'm not WITH her I made sure I knew where she was. See the part where I messed up is that Im not the best with alcohol... And I drank a bit much. Now I remember kissing Ramona. And that's it. However according to some friends I kissed her she slapped me I pushed her... into the pool and she left crying. Now its Monday and she wont look me in the eye (it's lunch rn and English is next) what do I do?!? I'm an obvious drunk asshole, BUT THATS THE THING! I was DRUNK! I mean I wanna apologize but I can't even get close to her with her friends there

NOOOOO oh my god you really did fuck up ;; can’t you text her asking if you guys can talk ?? tell a friend what happened and hope she’ll understand and let you explain?? honestly i have no idea but i hope you sort it out and let her know how sorry you are but also don’t beat yourself up too much!! accidents happen even if they are bad, it’s ok in the end as long as you apologise,,,,, good luck ♡ and don’t drink around her again ;;

#ask game #these are the last ones i have rn lmao #u can send more if u want !! and bc i love reading them but ill just publish now #unless it's a follow up then u Have To tell me what's going on #also disclaimer i have No idea what im talking abt so u can ignore me kfnjdknfj

[tumblunni]

Well that sure was a steven universe episode

NAVY YOU TOTAL BASTARD FUCK I have no idea how this worked but the show actually made me cheer for her being revealed as evil?? And like.. so far she is literally the only member of the rubies that IS evil. Like, i mean, defining evil as someone who understands the whole damn thing and willfully chooses to make the bad choice, out of selfish morals. The other ruby squad members are on homeworld’s side yeah but they never seemed EVIL I really am very invested in this twist that the quiet one who did nothing in every other episode except have funny oneliners is actually a sadistic asshole who (for all we know) could have been lying to her teammates too and wants to backstab them as well. I mean wouldnt that be a good villain?? A member of the lowest ruby caste who’s grown used to putting on this fake agreeable persona but is plotting to backstab literally everyone and find some way to rise above her station. Also it’;d be a way she could still have a sympathetic reveal in the end and potentially be redeemed even after refusing this offer of redemption, its a sympathetic motive to become heartless and cruel because you’re treated like a slave by your species and doomed to a life of ‘dumb muscle’. Also it makes up for how the show was all ‘rubies are dumb’ which always kinda bugged me with all the morals about how you can choose what you want to be. i hope maybe someday everyone gets called out on that, now we can potentially have a very smart and manipulative recurring ruby villain! Also it was good to have a shocking twist and a new villain after a while of not much happening but cute slice of life episodes. Not that I dont love them, but theyre more engaging when there’s an ongoing threat to theorize about at the same time. I just REALLY hope navy does actually rise up into being her own recurring villain, instead of just ‘nah shes totally loyal to the ruby squad and she gets them back and now all of them are evil’. I’d wanna see how cool it could be if the ruby squad got to go against her, like maybe steven is trying to convince them that navy is really a backstabber and theyre just like NO WAY SHES TOTALLY LOYAL and then while theyre distracted fighting each other Navy steals a comm device thing like peridot did and sells everyone out to yellow diamond, making sure to mention that all the other rubies were totes incompetant the whole time. It could be so damn cool if Navy ends up persisting throughout the whole story and becomes like an evil vizier to yellow diamond or something?? Also i’d like it if she got a name other than Navy, now we know she prrrrrobably wasnt exactly happy about steven giving her that one. I dunno if she’d have some moniker of her own that she always wanted to be called after years of being treated as interchangeable, or whether she’d insist that she is the one true Ruby and everyone else can just fuck off. And man it could be so cool if this could be a chance to have a more Ruby-centric episode where she gets to have a rivalry and a plotline separate from Sapphire, like how sapphire mostly handled the homeworld zoo on her own.

Oh and I also liked the plotline of lapis getting really confused and self hating when seeing someone else seemingly recover faster than her, thats quite damn relateable to people who have depression. In this case it seemed more like lapis was projecting though, I think even if navy’s nice persona was real its not like theyre on equal footing. Lapis was depressed and traumatized, navy just simply wasnt. Its not ‘oh navy can get over it faster’, its just that navy was never depressed in the first place. And people have different personalities, so different things can be scarier to them, I felt so bad at lapis feeling like she was weak cos it was scary to her when she got here. And MAN I felt like laughing too at the end! It was a good way to make the ending not 100% sad if we can at least have the consolation of a joke afterwards. Also it helps the audience get even more fuckin mad at navy, jesus christ! And I felt semi proud that I started seeing the twist coming as the episode went on, it was just like Navy’s persona started becoming less ‘actual happy person’ and more ‘asshole Neurotypical with a capital N who thinks that everyone can just choose to stop being depressed’. One of those people who says horrible things and thinks because they’re saying it ‘politely’ its ‘just my opinion’ and anyone who gets offended is the bad guy. Tho I could have also liked this plot equally well if it turned out navy was legit about being reformed, and legitimately was an optimistic person, and her and lapis could have worked out their differences by talking about it. It was just a lot more cathartic this way if lapis’s anxieties had to be resolved in a short runtime, yknow? And seriously it makes Navy so much more hateable when you imagine her as one of those ‘sure, jan’ soccer mom type characters. Fluoride in the water caused my son’s autism, Lapis!

Also I dunno how they managed to make this twist not make me angry?? I mean, I really liked Navy in previous episodes and totally assumed she really was the one nice guy teammate of the rubies rather than the sole truly horrid one. I think I just didnt get as much frothing rage as I did when i thought peridot was betraying the team, cos we didnt really see enough of navy. Like.. we didnt KNOW if she was good or not, it was just a foolish assumption based on superficial evidence about how she acts. It seems more like a moral of not doing that, rather than ‘heres someone you love who is a friend and good and here’s 30 episodes of them being awesome and WHOOPS it was all a lie and that person doesnt even exist’. That’s a hard thing to come back from, a similar plotline ruined my experience of Soul Nomad And The World Eaters cos it seemed like the betrayer character got forgived too easily while not really earning it. A good twist deserves more effort put in if you wanna backpedal it!

#su spoilers

[gyratingeonian]

JANE: -Guess who's in the kitchen again? It's this gal. She's been occupying much of her time this way; it's largely to burn off anxious energy in waiting for the fated crew to arrive, but also because she just can't stand boring meals day after day.-

JANE: -She isn't baking right now, surprisingly. She's slowly cooking a nice pot roast for dinner, ingredients fresh from one of her many pieces of portable Crocker tech. Her apron reads "Hot Daddy"; an artifact salvaged from somewhere in the pantry.-

JOEY: =She'd been lying upstairs, staring at the ceiling for hours. It was hard being able to sleep soundly without the threat of being discovered for her human qualities, and at times it was hard to believe she had a family again. Mostly everyone all together and all in one place, too. She'd heard some quiet rummaging in the kitchen below until the vapors rose and holy shit, whatever it was smelled delicious. She's sneaking down the stairs like a kid on Christmas Eve, carefully poking her head around the corner.=

JANE: -She doesn't notice Joey immediately; while the food cooks, she's leafing through a business book she found on a shelf and laid out on the counter before closing it back with a sigh. There's not much point in studying business when the business in question is currently being run by an evil alien sea queen, is there?-

JANE: -She scans the room, and then double takes at a pair of eyes around the doorway.- Oh!

JANE: Good... morning? Not really, but I haven't made any breakfast yet. Sorry. I wasn't sure if anyone was up yet.

JOEY: =She finally came out of hiding and stepped the rest of the way down the stairs, smiling in greeting.=

JOEY: nah its fine im not usually up around this time anyway

JOEY: the jet lags been awful =joke=

JANE: The mysterious interdimensional portal-lag, you mean. Hoo. -It's not that funny, but she's trying to make the most of it.- I understand completely.

JANE: Do you like eggs and bacon?

JOEY: =She perked at this=

JOEY: you mean to say

JOEY: you guys actually have that here?

JOEY: =eyes the refrigerator= 8o

JANE: Well... Sort of.

JANE: I conveniently happen to have a very good storage unit on my person.

JANE: -She's already pulling out pans- How do you like your eggs?

JOEY: =when was the last time she had anything that wasn't grubloaf lathered in grubsauce?= JOEY: oh jane you dont have to go through all that trouble—

JOEY: =fusses.=

JOEY: ....

JOEY: sunny side up

JOEY: =she's WEAK=

JANE: -snrrrk- Me, too.

JANE: Don't worry. This is better than sitting around, stewing in potential doom scenarios. -she produces a package of bacon and cuts it open while the pan heats up on the stove-

JANE: And I could use some breakfast, too...

JANE: Shucks. All I've eaten this morning is a bite of leftover cheesecake.

JOEY: that wont do at all! heres to proper sustenance hahaha

JOEY: =she approacheth= it is only right of me to ask if you need help with any of this

JANE: Hmm...

JANE: Actually, I do need help with something. -glances over at her- I've been pretty curious about all this... estranged family business.

JANE: I just never felt like there was a good time to corral you all and ask about it. Actually, the image itself seems pretty rude.

JOEY: oh

JOEY: well... =she leaned back against one of the counters and sighed, laughing a little helplessly as she dragged a hand down one cheek=

JOEY: where to even start?

JANE: Perhaps the beginning?

JANE: As a genuine suggestion, not a sassy remark.

JOEY: =she glanced up at her and soft laughter replaced her expectant expression.=

JOEY: yeah thats always a good place

JOEY: we were little then

JOEY: dad was an explorer so he was gone often

JOEY: our aunt came to stay with us - mom jude tess and me - she had a baby with her

JOEY: bout a year later some people at her work did something that scared her off =she shrugged= and so she left

JOEY: i guess she didnt want us getting caught up in it but it happened anyway =Joey smiled, shaking her head= from that point on we got really good at camping

TESSERACT: =Soft boof as he comes wagging his entire body down the stairs. He smells FOOD.=

JANE: ... -She can sort of guess what that means, but...- Oh hi, doggy. -casually braces herself against a counter-

JANE: No bacon for you yet!

JANE: Um-- So you-- lost your home? Because of... a bad business venture?

JOEY: yeah—

TESSERACT: boof! =Whines up at jane=

JOEY: :O down tess

JOEY: you know better that that

TESSERACT: =WHINES again but lays his head down right on Jane's foot. licks her leg and looks up with those big puppy eyes=

JOEY: we couldnt really go back to it for a while but soon enough they left us alone and we got to go back

JOEY: guess they figured what could a woman her kids and their dog do? not much of a threat, you know

JANE: A... threat?

JANE: This sounds a little more dastardly than I was imagining.

JANE: Was it... you know... them?

JOEY: =she nods=

JOEY: the same people that have taken over skaianet

JOEY: it was our dad and aunts lifes work

JOEY: and they took it out from under them so easily

JOEY: =she ran her hand on the edge of the counter, just feeling the texture there=

JOEY: one day dad never came home

JOEY: i thought for sure because of his connections theyd gotten to him somehow

JOEY: not very long after that mom never came home either(edited)

JUDE: -at some point during the conversation, jude had come up from the basement, but when he heard the topic of discussion, he wound up lingering in the hall just outside the kitchen. hearing their skeletons get dragged out made him anxious, but it was important that jane knew exactly what they were dealing with -- what his whole family had always been dealing with. he runs his hand along the wall, awkwardly stuck in place.-

JOEY: but we claire-leys don't know when to keep our heads down and mouths shut(edited)

JOEY: jude tess and i went off for some daring do and picked up where dad and aunt jo left off

JOEY: it was better for me to think they were dead cause nothing can hurt you when you expect the worst, right? but jude flat out refused to believe that =She shook her head= he was so much stronger than me - bouncy little optimist

JANE: -Jane can't help laughing a little at that description, despite the story itself.- Well... you can sure tell you're related.

JANE: And... if you don't mind me saying so, I'm sure you gave him plenty of push he might not have had alone. -At least, when she met him, he hadn't really been outside in years.- I think it all works out.

JANE: But how did you end up... Elsewhere?(edited)

JOEY: we both had that effect on each other =she glanced down at the counter again= JOEY: it was a whole stack of things but aunt jos research to put it simply JOEY: its what they were after all those years

JOEY: or one of the things at least

JOEY: that research led us to the portal downstairs which in turn led to skaianet finding out jude and i werent so harmless after all

JOEY: =she shrugged her shoulders, but it was more like brushing off the uncomfortable feeling of that distant memory than to indicate something like indifference=

JOEY: they wanted what we knew and if it hadnt been for jude they would have gotten what they wanted(edited)

JANE: ... I have a feeling this tale is nearing its bitter conclusion. -She watches Joey, brows knitting with some concern at the way she seems more uncomfortable the further this story goes.-

JANE: You don't have to tell me all this if you don't want to. My curiosity isn't worth digging up too many bad feelings.(edited)

JUDE: -with an exhale, he finally moves to join them in the kitchen, eyes down cast but he looks up after he gets his hands on a cookie.- ...

JUDE: hello

JUDE: sorry for interrupting...

JUDE: and also for

JUDE: eavesdropping

JANE: !

JANE: Jude.

JANE: I didn't hear you creeping up.

JANE: ... I didn't mean that the way it sounds.

JOEY: =Her back was to the stairs and she turned, a smile lifting as she saw it was her brother. Wow. She has to get used to them being in the same place again.= hey...

JOEY: =she's relieved he was here. The events leading up to everything were easy to say, and of course on Alternia she changed up a few things to suit her trollsona's history. But she'd never gone so far to explain the separation itself other than that it happened. The fear of never seeing her brother again didn't hang heavy over her head and the past didn't hurt quite so much=

JUDE: -catching a glimpse of her smile, he can't help smiling too.- it's alright

JUDE: creeping is probably technically a good way to describe my... general movement

JANE: Well... as long as we're all agreed. :B

JANE: -drapes a paper towel over a plate and starts piling the cooked bacon on it-

JUDE: heh... -cookies and bacon... part of a balanced breakfast. he didn't think this through.-

JUDE: -also sweats because he disrupted the conversation, which makes it his responsibility to initiate it again.- ...

JUDE: so...

JUDE: bacon

JOEY: =she's staring at Jude, and it's obvious she's staring. Her smile is growing by the moment.=

JOEY: yes! and eggs!

JANE: And cookies, apparently. -gives Jude a GAZE.-

JANE: How do you like your eggs?

JUDE: -HOW YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS... FRIED OR FERTILIZED...-

JUDE: sunny side up

JUDE: to match my sunny outlook on life

JOEY: =she just...smiles at him. How can she not?=

JOEY: good answer.

JANE: -SNORTS-

JANE: I'm glad we are all still in agreement, despite serious flaws in your argument. -cracks another egg in the pan-

JANE: How are things going down there?

JUDE: well... none of my other long lost relatives have jumped out so

JUDE: uneventful, mostly

JUDE: which is fine I guess

JUDE: but I'm still anxious for the UU to get here

JUDE: I feel like they should be here by now

JUDE: what if something happened? maybe alternians attacked their ship and their technicians hacked into all their accounts, pouring over records of everyone's speech patterns to perfectly replicate them when they talk to us

JUDE: or maybe... it was never really them to begin with

JUDE: and they knew we were going to contact them

JUDE: and they've lured us here to back us into a corner and now they're waiting for the perfect moment to extract the portal and do away with us once and for all

JOEY: ...

JOEY: jude

JOEY: you know ive always trusted your gut

JOEY: even though those are a whole lot of maybes, maybe we should take precaution

JOEY: is there an easy way of storing the portal if we have to make a quick getaway?

JOEY: plus, if this place is as heavily fortified as it looks, shouldnt there be another way to exit the building than the front and back doors?

JANE: -She swears she's going to find a camera somewhere to stare in, just watch her.-

JANE: Maybe Jamison would have some ideas? Perhaps a rational suggestion or two.

JUDE: I've been able to store it pretty efficiently but

JUDE: maybe I should dismantle it for now

JUDE: if they do show up we can study it with them

JUDE: ... I've mapped out all the escape routes too

JUDE: I mean I found some of James' blueprints of the house but I

JUDE: also physically went around the house looking for exits...

JUDE: but more eyes help... my dad is really good at finding weaknesses in designs so yeah thanks for the suggestion jane

JOEY: theres no harm in taking precautions

JOEY: should we practice drills?

JANE: -SIGHS-

JANE: -slides eggs onto plate-

JOEY: hehehe you never know, jane!

JANE: Well, let's wait until after breakfast for the main course of hubbub. :B

JOEY: good plan!

JOEY: one should never act on an empty stomach :)

#in which how do you like your eggs? #euphobicgeotech #gainfulgumption

[bigbrotherorre]

EPISODE SIX: “IF ONE MORE PERSON TRIES TO BUILD THE PEACE IN THIS HOUSE I'M GOING TO THROW THEM THROUGH THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE WINDOW” - ALIVIA HOH: SAMMY EVICTED: RANDY - 7 TO 4

So... as expected Ricky went and I'm in mourning. I love Ricky SOO much! with my WHOLE hort. Otherwise, this HoH comp is AWFUL, everyone is gonna be FIGHTING. For this week, I would like a Bryce/Jose HoH because I think I'd be safe and because they'd go after Blake/Alivia/Lynn. HOWEVER, then next week, I'd like Alivia to win HoH and get Randy out because I do NOT trust Randy. Basically, provided I can get past this week with all the messy twists... I feel cautiously optimistic? Like I'm playing both sides and hopefully that'll work to my advantage? Eek we will seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Another day another lost comp

SO, tea time with Ali! Except... not really. I'm literally about to set a BB Pokemon record because it is literally week 6 and I'm in 0 ALLIANCES. This is a MESSY MESS MESS. I wanna be in alliances, I want safety. Meanwhile, conspiracy corner... John was given the Jigglypuff, he didn't play it. The phrasing on the wiki & the posts were all.... off. I think Randy gave it to him, but I also feel like everything sketchy that happens is.... by Randy. Like I think Randy is the bot, and Randy is being this cracked mess... According to Sammy at least, the bot is now sending fake screenshots? WHAT KIND OF CRACKED JUJU IS THIS. I dont love this at all asjlkdfa In other news, Bryce & Jose _will_ be this season's F2 and I will not accept otherwise. Bryce is such a solid ally, like he is so sane, so nice, so good. Jose is the love of my life lkjafdsa, he is SO SWEET. like a good, wholesome boy right there is Jose. I LOVE THEM BOTH, THOSE ARE MY BOYS. I am a feminist, but I will convert to meninism if it means my faves make F2. ANYWHOMST. I love the hosts, Dennis added me to his Havana host chat and idk why he did that, since he _totally_ lays out his strategy in that... why did he do that, I am always booboo the fool but he can take that title from me for today. and thats how sue sees it, bye for now woooooooooooooooo!

I think I'm going home this week and I'm really worried. Like really worried, I've played badly and I'm now really expendable, and people are gonna send me home i literally spent a total of like 6 hours prepping for veto and I still screwed it up. I got 9 songs in like 7 minutes, but it took me like 30 more to find the last one ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (unfaithful by rihanna will literally be my downfall). I'm really scared. I think I would have Autumn & Jose's votes, but against Ashvika I think thats when it dries up askjldfa. I'm really really scared, I'm not ready to go home, I am such a bad player :( I don't even feel like Bryce is in my corner anymore, and I think Autumn could keep Ashvika like except for Jose I feel so alone :( I love Jose so much, I'm so lucky to have him in this game with me, but I'm also so scared :( I'm not ready to go home :( But I've let myself down and played badly.

Can y'all believe my son Samuel future nominated me and I get to sit here in peace? Maybe we're related after all I'm so used to being nominated it doesn't even phase me. Like I forget that you can actually go home because I.... can't relate. People are freeeaaking the fuck out and I'm just chilling, knowing my ass is immune and that my silver power of veto will snatch wigs. So to pass the time I'm currently on call with my new alliance, Jose and Ali, and Ali is legit shitting himself I feel terrible. But like it's fine cause I pulled him off, he just doesn't know yet. I'm honestly just ecstatic that everyone I love is gonna be safe- me, Sammy, Ash, Ali, John. I really just need Jose to not get nominated and then this streak of ugly weeks will come to an end wooooo

im just... not a fan of ppl  SJDJHFSJDK everyone has such annoying ideas and im like... u do u but maybe dont!! Everyone keeps having opinions that are different than mine??? like cut it out. dennis cant literally do the bare minimum and not come across as sketchy for 1 second, and he also cant campaign to stay apparently??? hes a lot to deal with. and then randy is coming at me/sammy/zeezo and trying to seem smart for doing so, like wow you got us! go home maybe!! alivia has been very volatile all week and i have to deal with it. and ali is snapping because he thinks he would have gone home which i hope wouldnt have happened but i also dont know b/c theres an assumption that he isnt playing the game b/c hes vague and he might have went home because of it. but now he is being vague again and i think its prob b/c randy is campaigniing to him and trying to paint me/zeezo/sammy as a trio. when honestly we arent even.. theyre like a duo and im there!! also im a lynn warrior but we never talk so its awk. and also ali ratted to randy that if he wants to stay he needs LAB's vote and now alivia is mad he brought her name up and ugh ppl are doing so MUCH. also dennis just msg'd me like do i have ur vote?? who's voting me. MAYBE TALK TO PPL MORE AND NOT BE SKETCHY AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO BE THE MIDDLE MAN.

[ONE HOUR LATER]

omg..  i didnt mean those mean words. i love everyone in this cast. ali is so nice and trustworthy. alivia is feisty and full of energy, always keeping the game fun. dennis is actually like real fun to talk to and always feigns interest in w/e im saying (EXCEPT WHEN HE LIED ABOUT NOT HAVING LEGALLY BLONDE ON NETFLIX WHEN I KNOW HE DID). And randy has made this game so exciting!!!

[ONE HOUR LATER]

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT ALI. HE IS FAKE FAKE FAKE SO FAKE FAKE FAKE. SAYS HE DOESNT KNOW WHOS HE VOTING AND CAMPAIGNS TO KEEP RANDY AND DUMB DUMB DUMB  JOSE FALLS FOR IT. IF RANDY STAYS IM SCREAMING

[30 MINUTES LATER]

i am so sad for randy he really wanted this and dennis is kind of ugh to work with but randy was just too scary. he had the best exit so far tho and ill miss him so much. ALI CHOKE AHAHHAHAHA YOU THOUGHT!! ALIGNING ALL THE FLOATERS NOPE!!! TRY AGAIN.  I LOVE ALI BUT I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING B/C LIKE 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE VOTE ZEEZO IS LIKE DONT TELL ANYONE BUT ALI CONVINCED JOSE TO VOTE DENNIS OUT. SIDE NOTE i love john!!! he is so nice and ratted jose out like wig!!

woo okay soooo i haven’t been able to make one of these in awhile cause I’m on vacation so i apologize if this is long....so to sum up everything I won hoh with the help of zeezo and Bryce. I had to nom ali and ashvika because i knew it wouldn’t cause that much drama. Then....they both got taken off so I nommed Dennis and Randy. I wanted randy gone from the getgo because he is very smart and sneaky. I’m pretty sure he was behind the Nicolas Julia account as well which really made me upset. He also never responded to me but would tell ppl to pm him and yeah. Other than that, the conversations i did have with him were great, and he’s super nice and even made me the birthday video. I just wasn’t too close with him. I just made up a random excuse for Dennis because I had to hide the fact I’m in an alliance with Kat and Jose but also zeezo and Bryce. and alivia and John couldn’t have been nommed....so if i had to make another nomination it would’ve been Lynn and Bryce....so that would’ve been very very bad for me because like I’m also close to blake so i can’t nom him. Anyway randy was crying on call and it made me super super sad and i felt like a bad Person so i was like wow:/ I have to decide which alliance I’m gonna choose but it might be zeezo and Bryce because like Jose and Kat don’t tell me everything and don’t like agree with me about votes and i think ali autumn Jose and Kat voted Dennis. Idk I’m just so done haha 

if one more person tries to build the peace in this house i'm going to throw them through the closest possible window. i honestly feel like ali and dennis might have accidentally stumbled into the wrong game bc this is bb pokemon not whatever snowflake athena series you probably came from. i've tried to help ali throughout this game and explain to him that this isn't some summer camp where you braid each other's hair and make friendship bracelets but the kid just doesn't get it. i give up, and i think we need to focus on getting all the snowflakes and fatties out of this house as soon as possible. right now in the game i think that i might actually be in a pretty okay place. the house seems to be pretty divided vote after vote. there's the scammers, bryce, ashvika, sammy, and zeezo vs. the fatties: jose, john, ali, kat, and autumn. and as of now we outweigh the other house so we have a pretty good unofficially aligned group going here so hopefully we can keep that going!

CAST ASSESSMENT

#episode #bborre