memoirsofamunchkin

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Hello!

I may not be able to write as much as I want to. School is starting up again, and I'll have to focus more on that.

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Dream #6, 17th April 2021

I was a maid, serving a very rich woman. I made all sorts of delicious looking foods and drinks for her. To deliver it I had to climb through an indoor play area, which was busy. Unfortunately, I failed to deliver it in time, and the woman got mad at me.

Next time, I was determined not to mess it up. I saw a run down elevator and got on it. There was a security camera following my every move. Soon security arrived, and they took me away. I explained what happened to them, and they let me go. I woke up soon after.

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Diary Entry, Saturday, 17th April

Not much happened today. We went down the strawberry line, it wasn't too bad. I saw some really pretty purple flowers so I picked them for my flower press. I hope they turn out okay.

I fell asleep. When I woke up dinner was ready. We had croquettes, but they tasted a little weird.

That's all that happened today. It was pretty boring.

#dear diary #personal diary #online diary #diary entry

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Diary Entry, Friday, 16th April

Picnic day! We drove to a reservoir and started the walk around it. It was huge but very beautiful. We took Oscar, my dog, and he was so excited to meet people and their dogs! I saw retrievers, pugs, huskies, bulldogs, and a really fat basset hound! I also saw some ducks and even a few babies!

The walk was really long, and by the end of it, I was really tired and hungry. Luckily, we had a picnic! We had sandwiches, jam tarts, and the ystervarkies we made yesterday. I ate quite a lot, especially the sandwiches. We also had flasks of tea and coffee, it was very nice.

Soon, we went home, and I listened to ICP (with headphones in, my parents would never let me listen to them if they found out) and nirvana.

Once I got home, I immediately fell asleep. I was exhausted. When I woke up, dinner was ready. We had pizza, it was delicious.

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Diary Entry, Thursday, 15th April

I woke up and started helping mum. Today Sue, my neighbour, is coming over, and we're going to have a BBQ. I helped mum make the salad, and I chopped up strawberries for the dessert. Whilst cutting them, I asked mum to chop off a blemish on one strawberry, and she used the knife she was using on onions. Imagine onion flavoured strawberries. Gross. Also, Sue can't have onions, so we didn't want to cross-contaminate. She has an overactive thyroid.

We made kebabs, African beef sausages, salad, and sweet potato, it was really good.

Yesterday something strange happened. It's about Angel, the pushy guy (he also catfished me, he pretended to be a 15yr old white boy when he was actually 19, and Puerto Rican). He sent me a playlist that he made, just for me. It was full of romantic songs, and it means so much to me. We also chatted on video, and he was so sweet. He was funny, too. I don't know how to feel. He's got red flags, but he's so nice to me.

Pros:

~He's funny

~He's nice

~Made a playlist for me

~Likes same music as me

~Lets me rant about my interests

Cons:

~Catfished me

~Pretended to be younger

~Calls other women "bitches"

~Says slurs he can't reclaim

~Tried to push me into showing myself off to him

It's a draw. I don't know what to do. I feel so conflicted.

Anyway, we had lunch and I showed off my paintings to Sue.

I'm making Lamingtons! I usually call them Ystervarkies, which means "porcupine" or "iron pig" in Afrikaans.

I called Angel again, it was fun! We talked about random stuff: gore, memories, stuff like that. However, he said the n-word... I don't know how to deal with it. Do I just let it go?

He's being sexual now. I just want a hug. Why do all men want sex? Why can't I find a guy who isn't obsessed with fucking?

#diary entry #personal diary #dear diary #online diary

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Diary Entry, Wednesday, 14th April

Not much happened today. I went on a walk, we went down the strawberry line, we saw two hawks circling each other, and these two tiny lambs sitting together. I also saw this gorgeous dark pink tree in someone's garden.

I like my voice today.

I'm gonna write a cringy fic, something smutty. From which fandom though?

I have settled on Five Nights At Freddy's. It's gonna be super embarrassing, and I'll love it.

The guy I talked about yesterday? We had a long chat on a video call. It was amazing. We talked about random things, and he let me rant about my cringy fic. I even got a few laughs out of him. I feel so happy.

Then, something surprising happened. He sent me a playlist titled "for my puppy". He sent me a whole playlist on Spotify, with all these romantic songs. I don't know how to feel. He was pushy last night, but he apologized and it wasn't his fault that I got upset. I should just let it go. He's so amazing.

#diary entry #personal diary #online diary #dear diary #are we about to kiss rn #spotify #im so happy #im in looooove

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Dream #5, 14th April

I was in my room, with these two pregnant cats. With them, they had three babies. Two was ginger, the other was grey and white. The kittens were insanely small, as small as your fingernail. I had to tread carefully to not accidently hurt them. The mother cats were normal sized. Eventually there were more pregnant kitties, and then came more tiny kittens. They grew a little, but not much. Overall it was a very nice dream.

#dream #dream diary #dream journal #diary entry #personal diary #dear diary #online diary #kittycat #kitten #cats

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Diary Entry, Tuesday, 13th April

I woke up naked, and my dad almost saw. That was very embarrassing.

I've been told I need to write something positive about myself, so today: I like my eyes.

I went on a long walk and met a cat whom I nicknamed Carley Cat, after an Afrikaans song my mom likes. Carley is super cute and friendly, they're black with a white breast and paws.

Whilst on my walk, I saw many pretty flowers and some small butterflies. Unfortunately, I got a blister. It doesn't hurt that bad though.

I signed up for AO3, but I have to wait around 5 days to write something. Currently, I'm number 37176. I wonder what I should write. Maybe something cringy.

Around dinner, I helped mum make a dessert. It was an apple cake with caramel cream. It tasted alright, but the cream was way too rich for me. If I ate any more, I would've been sick.

My patches arrived! I recently got a new black bag but it was too plain, so I got some patches too. I sewed a cute heart patch onto my bag, and it looked so good. I hurt my fingers trying to wrangle the needle though.

Later in the night, I sewed on more patches; a bunny on a pink cloud, and a blue planet with stars. It was tricky, but I think I did a pretty good job.

TW: NSFW

Something bad happened. The guy that I showed myself off to on-camera wanted me to do it again, and cum. I really didn't want to do it, but he persisted, saying "I came for you on camera, I went out of my comfort zone, why can't you?". I eventually called him, and he saw I was crying. He pulled his dick out, and I immediately left the call. I couldn't do it. I was panicking really bad, I was having an anxiety attack, and I kept on apologizing to him. He told me he wasn't mad, and he was sorry for taking it too far. I don't know how I feel about him anymore. It reminded me of when I was younger, and those guys made me do stuff. I feel like I'm in the wrong. If you've read this far, what do you think?

#tw nsft #nsftumblr #diary entry #personal diary #dear diary #online diary #nsft post #nsft #tw #tw triggers

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Dream #4, 13th April 2021

I was in a house with multiple guys. They all liked me and wanted to cuddle with me. Some were human, some were monsters. I wasn't allowed to go into the attic, but I went anyway. I can't remember what happened, but it was bad. The guys saved me though, it was romantic. The dream ended with me cuddling two of the guys. It was so cute!

#dear diary #diary entry #online diary #personal diary #dream #dream journal #dream diary #cute boys

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Diary Entry: Monday, 12th April

TW: NSFW

I did something stupid. I shouldn't have done it. I let a guy use me like a camgirl. I feel so disgusting. I just wanted the attention. Why am I like this? I should kill myself. Scum like me shouldn't exist. I went on camera and showed off my body to him. I didn't want to do it. Why didn't I say no?

Mum called the doctors today about my ear. We have to wait for them to make an appointment and it's been hours. My ear doesn't really hurt anymore, it's just uncomfortable.

For lunch, I ate crisps, which was really unhealthy for me. Then I took a nap. I had a dream (Dream #3), and I was woken up to my mum vacuuming. Eventually, I went downstairs to help with dinner.

While cutting up mushrooms, I felt very ill. I needed to sit down. My mum let me, so I just laid in my room, trying not to throw up. Soon dinner was ready. It was good.

I think I ate too much though because I started feeling sick again.

I called a guy on discord, and we chatted for about 30 minutes. He seems okay, but he was a bit awkward. So was I.

#camgilr #vent tw #vent #dear diary #online diary #tumblr diary #journal #nsft #tw #cw

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Dream #3, 12th April 2021

I was in Wales, with my family and some of their friends. We were at a huge playground, and I was watching the children play. I don't remember much else, but I ended up getting kidnapped, and flown to China. Once I was there, I went on a bus to Japan. Geographically, this is impossible. I saw wonderful pink flowers, people dressed in kimonos, and tall buildings reaching to the sky. At some point it started to rain, and I felt warm, strong rain fall onto me. It was beautiful.

#diary entry #dear diary #personal diary #online diary #japan #journal #dream #dream journal #dream diary #kidnapping #wales

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Dream #2, 12th April 2021

I was in an apocalyptic world. My parents were gone, and I was living with my ex, Dexter. He was cheating on me with another girl, and I was really upset. I don't remember much else.

When I woke up, I was still half asleep, and I thought "I should message him". When I was fully awake, I remembered I blocked Dexter on every social media.

Dexter was in love with his best friend while we were dating. I missed him, so that's why I dreamed about him. I wish I could erase him from my memories.

#dream journal #dream diary #ex bf #vent post #dream #dear diary #diary entry #online diary #personal diary #journal

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Diary Entry: Sunday, 11th April

I've been having a lot of pain in my ear. Mum says she'll call the doctor if it still hurts tomorrow. My friends are concerned about it, but I know I'll be fine. This morning I got a weird sensation like there was cold water into my ear. It went away pretty quickly. Now my ear just hurts. It's been painful for a few days now.

I just got back from a walk. We walked with Sue, our neighbour. My dog Oscar was being pretty stupid. Oscar likes motorcycles quite a lot. If he sees or hears one, he'll run towards it. He doesn't care about bikes, cars, or trucks, only motorcycles. Today there was one, and Oscar tried to run towards it. Luckily mum had him on a short leash, so he didn't get run over. Oscar also ended up bumping into a parked car, which was hilarious.

I painted a picture today! It was relaxing. I painted a landscape with autumn trees.

I'm really proud of it, but I know it's not the best.

#dear diary #online diary #diary #autumm #fall aesthetic #painting #paint #journal #art

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Dream #1, 11th April 2021

I was introduced to new people. They were all colour coordinated. Red, Orange, Yellow, Cyan, Blue, Purple. I believe there was more but I can't remember. They were all very nice to me. They all lived in a community house, with two "masters". These masters were nice, but they treated everyone like pets. Everyone, including me, was kept in a cage, and depending what animal we were, we would act like them. I was a dog, or a cat, I think.

Blue was very sweet and fashionable, but she told me we weren't safe. The masters were going to hurt us. I don't know what happened next, but all the colours planned to leave. We all snuck out, and suddenly we were at war with the masters. Turns out, the masters were good, trying to protect us, and the colours were gaslighting me. Me and blue were on the same side. The dream ended with me and blue feeding tiny sharks late at night.

This was a weird dream, it doesn't make much sense. Now that I'm awake, I still think the colours were in the right. The masters were REALLY weird.

#dream #dear diary #online diary #diary #dream diary #dream journal

[memoirsofamunchkin]

Introduction

Hello, my name is Puppy! I'm a 15yr old girl from the UK. My pronouns are she/her. I currently suffer from CFS, depression and anxiety. When I was around 2, I developed a tumour in my adrenal gland, which is located by your right kidney, and I was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma.

My treatment included chemotherapy, radiotherapy, bone marrow transplant, and others I can't think of right now. All this treatment took away my hearing, so I now have hearing aids. I don't know sign language unfortunately, I communicate via talking and reading lips.

Thanks to my hospitalization at such a young age, I missed out on understanding deception and other things you learn from the ages of 2-5. I'm very gullible, I tend to rely on my peers, and I sometimes can't tell if people are lying, joking, or being sarcastic.

Growing up I had a lot of problems. Some of them were physical, and some were mental. I used to be stubborn, loud and playful, but my primary school turned me into the tearful, scared girl everyone knows today. My primary school wasn't the best, they didn't understand my disability, and treated me as if I was stupid. For example, a teacher yelled at me because I didn't hear her instruction properly. She knew I was deaf. She never apologized, not even when I was crying on the floor, looking for my paper. To this day I still have a fear of upsetting teachers or anyone in authority.

My parents have been by my side all my life. They aren't perfect, but they try their best. They struggle to understand mental health, and get angry when I "go down the rabbit hole". I don't blame them, they lived a very different life than me, and they only get angry out of love.

TW: Grooming, paedophilia, just vile stuff.

When I was 12, I got my first phone. I was almost immediately groomed by men twice my age. They made me do things that I'd rather not mention right now. It involved blackmailing, threats, things like that. I regret it so much. If I didn't fall for their lies, I would've been a much more normal person. I was lonely, and i wanted someone to love me.

That brings you to now, where i struggle with my body image, I'm upset constantly, and i can barely function. I know I'll survive. I'll get through this, and I will be okay. I practice self love, and i keep my mind busy.

If you've read this entire block of text, thank you. It means a lot to me that someone read this. I'll try my best to get better, and I'll make you proud.

#cancer #introducing myself #deaf #diary #journal #vent #intro #triggering stuff