#me . remembering 2 use the tags i make for ppl . wow

[frecklystars]

ok I know it’s monday after 1pm and nobody is online but I wanna talk about meeting Steve Blum 🥺🥺🥺

Me and my friend waited in line for three hours, maybe four? He motioned for me to come forward when it was my turn and I pointed at myself to make sure he actually meant me, and he kind of laughed and said “yes you!! It’s okay, come here” And once I approached him I started shaking just like I knew would happen, I had no words :’) He was so patient though, he said “hi” and I said “hi” and he said “hi” and I said “hi” and he laughed again and said “how are you doing today?” And I was like “I’m!! I’m well!! How are you? Are you tired?” He said “I’m good, but yeah I’m really sleepy. But it’s worth it! we made it to sunday!!! yaaay!!” he seemed so cheerful for someone who barely slept within 4 days, stood and socialized in such an overcrowded setting for 10 hours each day, living on those little 8-hour energy drinks (kind of like retail ig)

I handed him the envelope after he confirmed he accepts gifts, and he said “oh my goodness, look how beautiful this is! look at how much time you spent on this -- this is so lovely, I can’t wait to open it!! this is amazing!! I can’t wait to get home and play with this, thank you!!” and the envelope drawings weren’t even special, they were little star and heart shapes because duh it’s ME and i also put some starscream and heatwave stickers on there hehe/// but he was acting like it was so pretty, it was very sweet of him to do that

And I actually planned to give him just one of the charms separately, just to see his reaction. I chose the Steve charm bc I think it’s the cutest one + I don’t know if he often gets fanart of. like. himself? So I handed it to him, and he didn’t even have to pull it out of the bag to recognize it, he immediately says “oh my god that’s me!! oh my god that’s me!!!” and he’s holding the thing so carefully while studying it. “this is amazing, oh my god. you made this? you MADE this?? that’s... amazing” and he reads my full name I wrote on the back and says “Keri... Keri... I recognize your name... on cameos, right?” He pauses. “My little starflower, is that you??”

I was in SHOCK?? I didn’t think he’d actually?? recognize my name let alone remember the starflower thing?? and I lost my words again so I just nodded a lot, and his eyes WIDEN and he leans forward and says “wait really?! THAT WAS YOU?” and I nodded again, and squeaked “you? remember??” and he insists “yes! I remember! I remember!! my starflower from cameos!!” and he starts laughing in disbelief, shaking his head while saying “I can’t believe I’m meeting you! my little starflower, yes of course I remember you!!” and he slipped into the starscream voice and said SO fondly “my little starflower keri...” (made me GASP) “of course I would remember my starflower, of course I do, my little starflower Keri...” and I melted. I fucking MELTED and he just kept laughing and repeating (in his normal speaking voice) “wow, it’s you!! of course I’d remember that! my starflower! it’s you!!”

and I told him that the gift package was my way of trying to repay him for all the cameos, even though there isn’t hardly enough in there, I wanted to give him *something* because “you saved my life” and I wasn’t going into details abt that part but he looked rly touched and said “awww... alright, hold on, I HAVE to hug you!” AND I’M LIKE. WAIT WHAT REALLY? FOR REAL? I didn’t have any time to even open my mouth after he said that bc NO HESITATION, DUDE DROPS EVERYTHING AND *CLIMBS OUT OF HIS LITTLE BOOTH AREA* and immediately wraps his arms around me and hugged me so tight 🥺🥺 and he leans into my ear and says “you’re amazing. this is the reason why I love my job. you’re so amazing, don’t forget that, okay Keri? you’re wonderful. you’re incredible, okay? I’m honored to meet you, you’re amazing” and he kept repeating a bunch of compliments, I don’t remember half of them because I was like, barely processing what was happening and thinking holy shit I can’t believe this is actually going so well and then when he pulled away he said “okay I’m gonna sign something for you!”

So he pulls out a Starscream print and slips into the stsc voice again “to my Starflower, yes? yes...” and while we watched him write, I was completely mesmerized and gripping onto my friend’s arm for dear life. she doesn’t even know steve or any of his shows but she came all this way with me and stayed in the line with me and made SURE to take photos and record some audio and did everything to make sure we’d get in line today (she’s amazing and i fucking love her) & steve wrote “Keri... thank you for being my little Starflower. love, Starscream (and steve)” which reminded me of the one time he said in a cameo in his stsc voice sooo gently “thank you for loving me” like it just. oogghgh made me melt. and then he said “honestly, with you, Starscream is probably the nicest he’s ever been” and I was just in complete awe this whole time, I couldn’t believe he was actively encouraging my silly selfship shit to this level. I really just expected him to say “oh, cool, sure, ok here’s your print” and for the line to keep moving. all of this was so unexpected. so I said “this evil alien robot killed someone not even 5 minutes into the first episode, and you make him so nice to me, and I appreciate it so much” and he said “aww! hey, absolutely, it’s always my choice! and of course he’d be nice to you, you’re his starflower aren’t you??” GODDDDDD

and I thought we’d be done, but he suddenly calls for his agent (gwen. i love her. love gwen, absolute queen), and shows her the Steve charm and says “gwen look! look at this, oh my god. look how amazing this is!! isn’t this incredible? she DREW this, can you believe that? Keri, you even put my tattoo on there!! that’s my tattoo! the attention to detail!! I’m definitely gonna take this home, I’m keeping this on my desk forever! I love this so much, are you kidding me? I am never letting this go!”

And Gwen says “oh my god, that’s SO CUTE!!! Keri, did you make this? you MADE all of these charms?” (im assuming she opened the envelope to check inside for safety reasons, I think it’s part of her job) then she asks “do you post more artwork anywhere like instagram? you should tag us, we’ll share it!!” and steve turns, drops his markers and chimes loudly “YES WE WILL SHARE IT this is DEFINITELY going online” and she goes on for like a full minute telling me to share my artwork with steve nodding encouragingly adding a little “yes!” “absolutely!” “yes!!” every five seconds while I’m still shaking like a leaf. I looked AND sounded absolutely ridiculous w/ my dumb high pitched voice, barely remembering to nod my head and to breathe, couldn’t believe he’s talked to me this long, couldn’t believe he’s THIS enthusiastic, couldn’t believe he likes my art THIS MUCH when I was so sure he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, couldn’t believe his wholeass agent is compliment my art and saying she’d want to share it??? like literally everything went Best Case Scenario, this was way more than I could have dreamed. insane. AND WE’RE NOT EVEN DONE YET--

he opens the envelope to put the charm inside and says “I’m NOT losing THIS” and then he peaks further into the package and says “oooohh there’s all KINDS of goodies in here!!! thank you so much, I’m going to have so much fun getting to look at all of these!!” and Gwen holds up the blue star bag that I put the Steve charm in, and she says “this is my favorite!! star is my middle name, blue is my favorite color, and I looove sparkly things” and I said “you are literally the coolest human being alive” and she laughs “you are so funny!!” and Steve hugged her and said “I’ll give you the star bag Gwen!” and she said “there’s more in here with all kinds of sparkles!” and he says “ooooh, sounds like something Keri would do” SDLKJFHKLDF

and then we took a pic and then he asked if I wanted a short little video, and if I wanted to be IN the video with him, or if I just wanted it to be him only. I really didn’t want to be in it bc I already hated hearing myself talk but I said “oh whatever you’re comfortable with” and he said “well come here, you can’t have Starlight without his Starflower! I’ll ask you some questions and you answer them with me okay?” 😭💕 so he pulls me into the recording w/ my friend’s phone and he said “Keri, Keri, my little starflower... did you drink your energon today?” and I said why yes Starlight I certainly did and he replies “mm, yes, I can tell, you are looking exceptionally powerful!” and he did such a cute evil laugh and it took all of my guts to keep quiet bc my reaction every time he laughs is “awwwWWWW” but I didn’t wanna mess up the video w/ my dumb voice. and he added “Oh, don’t tell Megatron about this though, he’d be sooo jealous I get to talk to you...” like omfg dude is out here confirming that Megatron is so down bad in the megakeri relationship and he has no idea 😂

and the rest is kind of foggy bc I was barely processing half of this, so nervous abt my own behavior, in absolute shock that he was like, leaning so close and making eye contact the entire interaction to make sure that he knows that I had his full attention. he was so patient and never cut me off, even tho I was talking so fast bc I was sooo anxious but he was so so so kind the entire time... and then out of nowhere he pulls me into ANOTHER HUG 🥺🥺 and thanks me again saying “please take care, starflower. you really are an incredible artist” 😭😭😭

and after all of that, I was just. glowing. walking in a complete daze. i couldn’t even hear the crowd, ppl were bumping into me bc it was like a SEA of people at this convention, but it was just a buzzing sound to me bc all I could think about was the signed print in my hands and all the memories that come with it now... I didn’t expect him to remember me, let alone get so excited and? hug me? give me all these memorable things? say such nice things??? insist that he wanted to keep my artwork? promised he would do everything to make sure it got home safe? god. I also said at the very end “hey if you ever find an alternate to cameo... I will give you all of my money” and he laughed and said “nooo I don’t want your money, I don’t do this for money!” and there wasn’t any further comment abt cameo and I was like ok the line is moving I gotta GO go. so it’s unlikely he will ever find a cameo alternate, but like... I have over a dozen of his cameos already I get to cherish, +1 cameo we did ~together~ + all of those nice compliments. I’m just... still in shock... ok thank u to anyone who took the time to read this ❤

#i cant believe i didnt cry. i expected to cry. but i didnt even get teary-eyed. i ALMOST did tho #when he said 'yes of course i remember you' and when he hugged me. but wow i was SOMEWHAT collected? what a concept #woof #steve blum #also big shoutout to my friend for helping me. christ #i was so anxious for days and kept repeating 'what if what if' #and she would counter it with 'nooo he's going to love your art! we will make sure he receives it' #she waited so fucking long with me and tried to get us to all the events in time #granted there were only three events we were actually interested in #BUT ALL OF THEM we were so early and she navigated us SO well #and when I was all dumb and teary the day before bc we couldn't make it to ANYTHING #bc it was SO CROWDED that lines would cut off within 2 minutes #she still did her damn best and was like 'WE ARE GOING TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN FOR YOU' #and she recorded steve saying almost ALL of this bc she KNEW i needed to hear it #ppl arent allowed to video record or photograph unless if they're staff #but she recorded audio secretively and was like 'dont worry i gotchu' #kericakes cameos #going in this tag bc technically he gave me a cameo. sort of #ive been looping the audio just in total disbelief of all the nice things he said #long post #SORRY I couldn't put it under a readmore im on mobile rn #and im so impatient I wanted to talk abt it immediately #NOW I GOTTA LEARN HOW TO POST THINGS ON INSTAGRAM

[shoyowo]

imma just ramble about your tags for a sec because like I'm always thinking about the twins vs iwaoi vs kagehina and how the two setter-spiker pairs that kghn are explicitly compared to have known each other their whole lives/since birth while kghn had (1) interaction in middle school and didn't really know each other til karasuno and like, OF COURSE Atsumu's pissed that Osamu's not gonna keep playing vb with him because he's never been alone, never known what's like to not have Osamu by his side while kageyama responds to Hinata's 2 year sabbatical with "took you long enough" because Kageyama waited 14 years for Hinata to show up and this is absolutely nothing in comparison and iwaoi have known each other for so long that theyre confident that no amount of distance can come between them when oikawa goes off to argentina. And remember when oikawa predicted kageyama's move because he saw him and iwaizumi's bond in kghn even though they only knew each other for a couple months and the only pair that could replicate the freak quick were the miya twins who've known each other their entire lives but kghn only knew each other for a couple days when they did the quick and wow, sorry for how long this ended up being but them (!!)

GO OFF !!! im gonna be v long myself too so adding a readmore <3

SO BASICALLY TY FOR BRINGING IWAOI INTO THIS BC THAT'S ITS OWN BEAST !! like it's soooo insane to me that not only is kghn paralleled with the two lifelong bonds in the manga and ALSO their promise parallels the marriage proposal by Nice?? like it doesn't have 2 be romantic but the fact that they parallel ANOTHER lifelong bond is so 🤨🧐🧐 to me so had 2 get that out of the way.

imma get the miya twins first. the vvv blatant parallel that hits me immediately is actually the running practice scenes like miya twins have always had each other 2 compete with and push each other and kghn only had that after they met..... honestly this makes me think abt how osamu always softens atsumu's edges and how hinata does that w/ kageyama too and i start thinking abt how his middle school wld have gone if hinata was there as a buffer!

like 2 me atsumu called kageyama a "goddy two shoes" in training camp but LMAO if not for osamu he'd also be the abrasive annoying setter that ppl hated despite his talent yk??? the difference is that atsumu always had osamu but kageyama didn't always have hinata. pluss literally everything u said abt atsumu's reaction to osamu leaving vs kageyama's reaction to hinata leaving like literally having osamu w him all his life spoiled atsumu fr.

not only r u right abt freak quick only being replicated by atsumu and osamu who knew each other sooo well and literally no one else but also like i think the freak quick itself is smth to dissect like kageyama's precise yet vvv fast and therefore impossible to hit tosses + hinata's freakish athleticism that was never fully used to it's potential but lack of volleyball acumen... like they fit together like puzzle pieces 🧩

and god iwaoi parallels makes my head SPIN. first off like u said the whole oikawa seeing iwaoi in kghn and therefore reading him and LATER kageyama seeing kghn in iwaoi and reading THAT is sooooo. iwaoi's bone deep understanding of each other that was borne out of knowing each other forever vs kghn's bone deep understanding of each other thro sharing the same immense passion 4 the sport !!!!!

#i didnt mention this but god the someone even better reveal was like a stellar culmination to their bond..... #it changed the world on its axis for me #hinata shoyo #kageyama tobio #someone even better #hq #ALSO SOZ I WROTE A WHOLE ESSAY #hq meta #magic answers

[reidslibrarybook]

I posted 1,926 times in 2022

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Longest Tag: 140 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The Picked Lock of Your Heart

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, case violence, breaking and entering

Summary - Breaking and entering was something Spencer never imagined he’d be caught for, what would he have to do to evade being arrested by the police and would his chances with you cease to exist?

Category - fluff

Word Count - 3.2k

A/N - y’all i haven’t written in like 1-2 months so excuse the underdeveloped plot lmao. also the little fic header moodboard gif thing, my god, so many ppl helped me figure it out, and special shoutout to @boldlyvoid for making one for me that i didn’t end up using lmao. Love you bestie, thank you 😭 and @samuel-de-champagne-problems for reading the outline for this fic like years ago lmao. wow ok i’m posting for the first time in ages. The summary sounds so serious compared to how bullshitted this fic is but enjoy lmao &lt;3

indent is a flashback :)

navigation || request guidelines || talk to me!

——————————————

He stuffed his hands into his pocket, rubbing them against the fleece lining for the tiniest bit of warmth while he walked down the street.

It was empty… quiet, something he thoroughly enjoyed.

The cold air woke him up from the state of paralysis he found himself in the moment he stepped off the jet. Catching the unsub was more difficult than usual, forcing him to keep his mind occupied while the stinging feeling of loneliness continued to nag at him. He was relieved to find that it ended fairly quickly after a huge break in the case after the unsub, with his narcissistic tendencies, left a note showing off his ‘genius’.

Hotch figured that a couple of days off would do the team some good, bypassing Strauss and giving everyone a whole week off. It was nice for Spencer to catch a break from his turbulent life that was only made more complicated by his job, but there was always an aspect that remained untouched— collecting dust along with the rest of his heart that was locked away and unused.

To celebrate solving the case, everyone decided to go out for dinner and invite all their loved ones to join them… everyone except Spencer. He opted out politely, waving away the little looks of concern on his friends’ faces and taking up his bag to walk home.

He remembered looking at the smiles on his friends’ faces, happy to be able to go home to their families and special someones. Spencer didn’t have anyone to go home to, no one to call his own or spend all his time with.

He was always an ambitious man, wanting the highest honors or best score in any class. Eventually, the ambition transferred from his academic career to his professional one— aiming to be the best agent he could be in the BAU. His success in the unit wasn’t stated outwardly, but he could tell from the prideful smile on his mentors’ faces that he had achieved what he wanted.

Spencer always thought he had it all; the accolades, the reputation, the job, friends. It was a life he had envisioned for himself since he was able to conceive the notion of his future. Every agonizing day he lived as a child, haunted by his high school bullies and envious peers, was soothed with the comforting thought of how happy he’d be later on in his life.

Little did he know just how unsatisfied he’d be.

Being around his friends was nothing but a burden for him to bear as he put on a fake smile and pretended to be satiated by the dryness of his life. He watched as he stood stuck in place, cemented by the ground beneath him while everyone in his life moved on from their naïve youth to proper adulthood— finding their other halves and starting families. He wanted to be the person someone went home to, to be considered a necessity in life by someone he went home to.

That was why he declined the offer. He hated feeling, looking, like the odd one out. Everyone else enjoyed the company of their significant other while he was destined to spend his life with an empty chair beside him. Spencer knew that there wasn’t any malice behind his friend’s actions, they were simply being happy, but he couldn’t help but feel like the rest of the world was taunting him for his failure in love. He was desperate for something good to negate the cruelties that overshadowed his life, an offering to repair the damage that proved to be too stubborn to heal on its own.

What he had wasn’t enough for him to be happy, he wanted more… needed more. Spencer always longed for more than what he had, but he never realized how far his greed for love had extended. As time passed he became more withdrawn from everyone he used to spend time with, the realization that he may never be happy hardened his heart until the pain was set in stone.

He looked up at the sky, squinting at the darkened clouds as his glasses were dusted with little droplets of water. Spencer’s pace quickened with each stride, the smell of wet asphalt filling his nose. He could feel the size of every raindrop fall with an ever-increasing size and speed. It was almost as if the sky was mocking the tension in his chest and the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, its tightly knit clouds unable to hold the pent-up water within them while foreshadowing his inevitable breakdown.

He took a couple of steps back after passing his favorite bookshop, it was quaint and cozy— the only atmosphere he could really take comfort in. It was usually closed when he got back from his cases but on the off chance that he had spare time during the day, he’d make frequent trips from the office to pick up coffee while perusing through the stacks of books inside.

Spencer looked around the empty street before digging around in his pocket to fish out the key he’d been given by the owner a while back. He managed to befriend the old man and convince the owner to lend him a key. His polite habit of putting books back in their rightful place impressed him enough to agree to give Spencer a copy.

He huffed frustratedly, trying to stick the key into the lock multiple times all while the rain above him soaked through his layers. His fingers rushed to slip the key in but it wouldn’t fit like it usually would. Desperate, he searched for any pointed object in his bag and found two paper clips. Spencer straightened them out, struggling with the lock a bit before the door inevitably popped open after fiddling with it for a couple of minutes.

Closing the door, Spencer tramped into the store as the delayed waft of old books and coffee filled his nose. He shed his moist layers before walking over to the counter where his favorite person often resided, you.

He’d be lying if he said that the main reason why he tried to be at the shop as often as he could wasn’t because of you. Every time he’d make a trip, he’d fix his hair in the window of the shop right before— straightening his tie and making himself look presentable even when he knew there was no chance you’d even look in his direction. Life had a way of putting him at the very back of the shelf no matter how hard he tried to inch to the front.

Just because he’d never be able to catch your eye doesn’t mean he couldn’t let the fantasy ravage his mind.

He brushed off the little drops of water on his shoulders, entering the quaint bookstore. Spencer took in the smell of freshly brewed coffee and immediately felt a sense of relief flush his system.

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291 notes - Posted February 22, 2022

#4

(Bull) Riding into the Sunset

Pairing - Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, kissing, alcohol consumption, mention of bloody nose and bruised eye (lmk if i missed any)

Summary - Spencer’s loved you since the moment he met you, always wondering what he had to do to get your attention. What he didn’t know was that he’s always had it all along.

Category - fluff

Word Count - 3.9k

A/N - woah i did not mean for this to be that long but the idea is kinda wacky and i kinda love the idea or spencer in this fic. I def imagine s1 spencer for this lmao. THANK YOU TO MY BELOVED @samuel-de-champagne-problems for helping me out with this one as she always does, she’s the best 😌. i am praying this is gonna show up in the tags cuz tumblr is just being a bitch apparently lmao.

masterlist

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——————————————

Spencer was never one to talk, not as much as he wanted to.

It was in his best interest to keep quiet, at least that’s what he grew up relying on. Every position he had been put in was one that shined a bright spotlight on him, attracting all the attention and pointing everyone’s curiosities right to him. He had already been singled out, excluded— he didn’t need any more eyes on him as it was.

The attention only ever brought him years of torment and bullying, something he didn’t enjoy in the slightest. The tears that rolled down his face had solidified into a fear of being on a stage yet again. There was never a time where he could be himself without facing the repercussions of individuality.

So when he joined the BAU, hiding in the shadows and curt responses were his favorite pastime. It may have put people off but it was what he had to do to survive because that’s all he’s ever known…

Survival of the fittest.

But all the manuals and directions in his brain were rewritten when he met you. He found himself craving your looks, your words. All he wanted was for you to talk to him so he could hear your voice just once more. He was an addicted, ever-hungry man that craved nothing but you.

You were kind and beautiful in his eyes and the eyes of many others. Maybe he had taken such a liking to you because of your lending ear. It was always hard for him to find someone willing to listen to him who wasn’t his mother, let alone enjoy what he was rambling on and on about. You were the outlier in a sea of the disinterested, a genuine star that shined through the void that had formed in his heart.

He knew he was too far gone the moment he went to bed that one fateful night, the image of you dancing around him refusing to fade in his restless mind. He soon found himself thinking about you and only you, desperate for your sweet love…

Your gentle touch.

Your tender care.

He was no longer the shy, quiet genius in the back— showing off his rare memory or high IQ. Every giggle he elicited from you was cherished, held close to his heart and even closer to his soul. All he wanted to do was make you smile like no other person had, to make you just as happy as you made him.

You were the one that kept him invigorated, unknowingly encouraging him to crawl out of the shell he retreated into the moment he stepped foot into high school so many years ago.

“Kid.”

Spencer looked over to Derek who sat in the driver’s seat of the car, glancing over at him quickly and turning his attention back to the road with furrowed brows.

“You’re gonna poke a hole through the floor of my very expensive car if you keep tapping the way you are,” he said, a cautiously curious tone laced through his voice.

Spencer slinked into his leather seat timidly. “Sorry,” he muttered, embarrassed to be called out by someone he greatly admired for his charisma and charm.

“No worries, kid,” Derek laughed, “What’s got your mind all up in a jumble?”

“Nothing,” he blurted quickly, hoping that the lie that fell freely would be easily brushed off.

Derek chuckled, “Right… nothing. Is ‘nothing’ the secret code name you have for Y/N?”

“Wh- what?” Spencer stuttered, laughing slightly to play off Derek’s ridiculous question, “O- of course not.”

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416 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#3

for all my hotch girlies

433 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#2

Paper Wishes

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, case violence (deaths of victims mentioned), paper cuts, fire

Summary - After months of pining for you from afar, Spencer decides that it was about time for a grand gesture to win over your heart.

Category - fluff

Word Count - 3.3k

A/N - brain going brrrrrrrrr hoping that this shows up in the tags lmao 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 enjoy tho 😭

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——————————————

He walked around the corner hastily as the coffee in his hand threatened to spill over the edge of the cup. He was late, forgetting about the most important part of his day while he was talking to Garcia about the most recent sci-fi movie that had just been released the night prior. Spencer was reminded of the time when a little ding came up on Penelope’s computer, almost carried away by the little inaccuracies deep within the plot.

The people he swiftly dodged in the hallways looked back at the slightly distraught man running past them. His heart pounded right against his chest as he zoomed through the floor just to get to the bullpen, right about to miss one of the only things that kept the little embers inside him lit.

In the midst of his little marathon, Spencer somehow managed to run into the wall separating him from stepping foot into the open room— always bustling as agents rushed through to get their work done. He hissed quietly, the hot coffee that spilled from the impact staining his shirt and seeping through all of his layers right onto his skin.

He was almost distracted from the main reason why he was in such a hurry… almost.

His ears perked up as the sound of your lively voice bounced around the room. He looked in your direction and watched as the sun illuminated your glowing radiance, the wide smile on your face almost enough to blind him straight through the thick lens of his glasses. Everyday you’d come in at the exact same time, bringing a vivacious light into the grim feeling of the office which was brought about with the intense nature of your line of work.

He could recognize the shit in everyone’s day, your infectious giggles were the best part of everyone’s day— not just his.

“Spencer,” your face read of concern and worry as you walked over to him with a tissue in your hand, “Are you okay?”

The heat that rested on his cheek was imminent, the red tinge on his tender skin was a constant when it came to you. “Oh,” he chuckled nervously, “I- I’m alright. Just um, just a spill.”

“Are you sure? That coffee looked hot.” You handed him the tissue, keeping one to help clean up the majority of the mess that was concentrated on his chest. He sucked in a breath, nervous that you’d feel how loudly his heart was beating. It was almost as if every part of his body had a mind of their own around you, his heart demanding to be let out of its cage— liberated only to be conquered once again by you.

“I- I’m fine,” he kept his response short to avoid stumbling up in front of you like he already had, “I have an extra change of clothes in my bag.”

You nodded, tossing the soiled paper into the trash can behind him. “I hope it doesn’t stain,” you said, the smile he was so addicted to gracing your lips.

“It’s not a big deal, I um, I have a lot more of these at home.”

“Yea, but this one in particular is my favorite,” you admitted, the light bouncing off of you in every which way, “I always love your sweater vests and cardigans, you always look so handsome wearing them.”

“Th- thank you. I um, I-” he stopped to collect the thoughts fractured by his inability to think around you, “I um, I- I think they’re um… cool too.”

“Very cool,” you giggled, “I’ve got to get to work on those stacks of papers on my desk or else Hotch is going to kill me.”

He nodded, watching you walk away as he tried to remember how to breathe. You thought he was handsome, a compliment he had only really received from his mother. It was the sound of your voice and your willingness to engage with the only dork in the unit that kept the draining supply of happiness inside him full. Your round of flirts and teasing comments were nothing if sustenance for his craving heart.

“Boy Genius.”

Spencer turned around, almost tripping on his untied shoelace, to see Penelope walking up to him.

“Where did you go? I look away to answer an email and look back to see you flying out of the room,” she laughed, the little feathers in her hair following the motions of her head.

“I forgot I had something,” he mumbled as he continued to look at you from his place in front of the break room.

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653 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Lit By Love

​​Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings - language, SMUT (MINORS DNI, 18+), oral (male and female receiving), fingering, face fucking, unprotected penetration, slight overstimulation, use of pet names (darling/good girl), slight hair pulling, sorta dom!spencer and sorta sub!reader, not proofread (lmk if i missed anything lmao)

Summary - You come over to Spencer’s apartment hoping to help him during a storm and power outage. Your attempt to help him through his fear of the dark developed into something more than you had planned, leading to an unrevealed confession.

Category - fluff, smut (18+) MINORS DNI

Word Count - 6.1k

A/N - lmao i cranked this out today and i’m kinda proud considering i’m sitting in my lab rn waiting for some tests and i’m rlly hoping this shows up in the tags lmao. big big big thank you to @samuel-de-champagne-problems for helping me with this, ily <;3

masterlist || lmk what you think || join my taglist

——————————————

Spencer always felt like he was on display, people watching him as he juggled a circus act of walking on a tightrope.

He couldn’t count the vast number of his peers waiting for him to tip over and fall down beneath, surrounded by nothing but failure. It was a fate that haunted him constantly, a never-ending fear that he believed would inevitably come true one day in the future.

What they didn’t know was the envy that bubbled inside him. He coveted the normalcy they so desperately wanted to get rid of. He wanted the ease of being a regular person and the effortless finding of their other half.

He didn’t understand why people wanted to be in his shoes knowing what others thought of him but what stumped him most was why you wanted him.

After weeks of borderline stalking you, Spencer decided to leave well enough alone— dropping the unachievable dream of being yours. Much to his surprise, you approached him with just as much enthusiasm that thrived inside him when any thought of you weaseled its way into his frontal lobe. He managed to work up the courage to ask you out on a date and the rest felt as easy as it was to fall for you.

It was a rollercoaster of emotions: infatuation, fixation, adoration, passion.

He was addicted to you, a fact he had known since the moment you called him yours— your Spencer. It was almost as if his heart was trapped and fumigated with your intoxicatingly sweet scent and wondrous smiles he would never be able to rid himself of, a nightmare and fantasy he could never quite forget.

But at some point, something felt off. There was always something left… unsaid.

Every single goodbye felt like a sentence that was unfinished.

He tried to figure out what it was but he could never find the missing piece to his puzzle, stuck in a prison made of his own incapability. The lightbulb never magically turned on, nor did the answer finally click— he was left to remain in a state of confusion and emotional disorientation.

His internal debacle stuck with him since he first noticed the odd hanging feeling after each reluctant departure. There was nothing he could do but wait until he could put his bright mind to good use.

Spencer ran his fingers through his hair hoping to brush out the little droplets of rain resting between each strand. He was able to avoid the raging weather in Virginia for the last couple of days, staying in sunshiney California for a case. He never liked thunder or lightning or any kind of weather that had the potential to develop into a raging storm, it always created an unsettling atmosphere he had no intention of enjoying.

With each passing moment marked by the sound of thunder and the flashing lightning, he thought of the only person that could comfort him in that very moment— you.

He had been hesitant to call you after discovering his newfound problem that may be the little seed of doubt that had yet to be unsown, instilling a sense of hopelessness inside him. It was an inkling of pessimism that believed in his undismissable demise, too stubborn for him to rid himself of.

The keys dropped from his hand into the little dish beside the front door with a loud clank. He made his way over to the couch, plopping himself down as the weather outside expressed its rage through howling winds and rampant rain.

His phone slid out of his pocket the further he sunk into the piece of furniture, almost as if the world was urging him to call you. He wanted to oblige, he wanted to call but a little piece of him was afraid of the unknown. He couldn’t figure out what was irking him, something he believed would potentially severe his only lifeline.

His finger brushed up against the cold surface of the device, chuckling as he reminisced on the time you stuck little stickers by each button detailing what each did. He had the mind of a camera but he couldn’t seem to remember how to work a tool of the modern age.

Spencer jumped slightly right as the sound of the roaring thunder outside filled his living room. He was a grown man but he never really got over his fear of storms of any kind. The situation was made worse by the flickering of the lights above him, the indecisiveness of the bulbs eventually gave way when the lighting was abruptly stolen.

He sunk further into the faux leather under him, clutching the tiny black box close to his chest while he tried to work up the courage to call you. His finger migrated to your contact and hovered over it, a war of thoughts in his mind clouded his decision.

All the bad memories he thought he had gotten rid of started to flood him again.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to wish away the dark just as he did as a child. Spencer itched to hear the monotonous ringing followed by the sound of your voice picking up the phone, he was just too afraid to make an objective decision.

See the full post

5,088 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #bye i’m dead #hotch’s ass

[gresiniracing]

Cereal milk cold brew

,,,,, i wanna try it

#yum #maddie tag #me . remembering 2 use the tags i make for ppl . wow

[darkhats]

my response to that one cookie run drama video from 2019

if u were in the fandom at around 2019 you'll remember this video. really a grand hallmark of its time. this is probably the most unecessary thing ill ever do but i see alot of recent comments from a month ago agreeing with this and i think thats extremely sad. im mostly doing this as a fun nostalgia trip and also i really want to justify me wasting 14 minutes watching this

first of all i want to say this video is fucking awful. just dreadful. like girl what the fuck are you even saying. i'd only recommend watching in full if you want to hear about the fandom in 2019 with a condesending voice talking down to you the whole time and even then you could probably do better just scrolling through the discourse tag

i suggest you pull up the video yourself as i'll be responding by timestamps. if i sound angry at some points its because i am

you can skip to 1:40 the rest is just intro stuff

1:47 | im really curious why you put this screenshot while saying "entitled fans" bc u never elaborated and i would really LOVE for you to explain whatever this one meant

1:50 | for the "huge amounts of hypocrisy" bit i have no idea what this is? this would be hypocrisy if the twitter acc in the previous screenshot and this tumblr blog r the same person but theyre not. we don't all think like a hivemind? this post is stupid in general stop infantilising asian ppl like they have no idea what a black person even is

2:02 | "gatekeeping what kind of ships you're allowed to like" with this screenshot u a proshitter or sumn🤨

the rest of the things they listed will be talked about later

2:51 | oh wow the "fixing art" thing. i dont think this is a thing anymore but it definitely was a big thing back in 2019! the thing is im quite neutral on it because a lot of artists dont like their work being edited but on the other hand if you dont like when people put the correct skintones on your art then maybe you should colour it right the first time

i will say though if you see cool art of like dark choco or espresso and its whitewashed and u wanna edit it so its not and u keep it to yourself then idc thats fine to me. the grey area is when it comes to characters like moonlight or alchemist, who's skintone is quite difficult to pull off in some artstyles. a lot of the examples in the video use people like cherry blossom or cotton candy who don't quite fit in the same category but are usually targets of this anyway

a very simple fix is to just use a different colour but to not make them significantly lighter from how they look in canon, which alot of the examples you showed don't do. they all look pale as shit compared to what they actually look like ingame and thats why people complained about them

also your marina video is fucking awful btw

3:53 |

4:56 | "so many people in the fandom hate the developers" im one of them hiii. i should probably use this time to explain why (please note that this was made in 2019 so a few of the points im bringing up here will probably be a bit too recent)

devsisters really love showcasing whitewashed art of their characters (they used to do it on their forums rarely but thats now gone) and recently they've been quite excited to dabble in the whitewashing themselves (keep in mind the others except from twizzly gummy don't really count as whitewashing but they're all significantly lighter than their regular appearance). its like a hobby or sumn. everytime they host a fanart contest i brace for god damn impact. and this has been a thing since FOREVER

speaking of race and ethnicity, lilacs costume (and redesign in general) is just... bad but i dont think they were even introduced at the time of this video. milk and yam WERE though and its extremely baffling to me how this went through an entire team/company and got greenlit. its insane how shit they are (if it was just yam on his own i wouldn't hate him as much, i still wouldn't like him tbh, but they decided to pair him up with a white saviour). would i call them racist though? ...idk? they've been moving funny recently cant lie

another thing is the valentines day video which pisses me off to even think about. in that vid theres alot of.. ships that definitely arent legal. and whitewashing ^_^ they still haven't addressed it btw if ur curious. but it happened this year and honestly i wouldnt blame them for not thinking devsisters would do something like that bc i sure didnt!

theres also the thing with nfts but no one couldve foresaw that one coming

i assume when you mention people saying devsis are transphobic that you're talking about characters like dark choco or cinnamon who weren't referred by any pronouns until they were magically given he/him pronouns later on. nonbinary people can use any pronouns they so damn please but i get why people would get annoyed about them both suddenly being referred as he/him. wouldn't call it transphobic though. other than idk, how tf am i meant to defend something when u dont even telling me what ur talking abt

and 5:29 is quite the bold claim if you have to say "do i have evidence for this asian hate? no.." when bringing it up again btw

now we're onto the "stories from a few people" section. the few people are actually just two, the first one just runs their mouth for way too long. dw they both suck. ignore how the creep art person is there its been addressed already in the description (which is funny because the creator remembers this video still? and they presumingly agree with it still..?)

7:00 | i would heavily recommend putting the video on like 1.75 speed and just reading the reply yourself because this person goes on for WAY too long. excuse me if the timestamps are wrong because of this but at this point i really just do not care

the first thing i want to address is the cuphead and cookie run fandom comparison, because its just as ridiculous as it sounds "i have no idea why its so focused on being sensitive about cookies sexualities, genders, and races, when other fandoms dont even take subjects like that as seriously. im pretty sure the cuphead fandom takes its bosses less seriously than the cr fandom does its cookies..." literally what the fuck are you on about? excuse me as im not a cuphead fandom connoisseur here but how are either fandoms connected?? they both got a vastly different audience, gameplay, artstyle and characters (+ character design). the only thing similar is that theyre both popular i GUESS. also maybe the cookie run fandom is so "sensitive" about cookies races bc they keep getting whitewashed every 5 seconds🤔? just a game theory tho🤔

7:25 | pisses me off ever so fucking much. the "ive never seen a fandom get so disrespectful over issues that i honestly dont think even exist" while talking about MILK COOKIE COOKIE RUN are u crazy are u dense im glad you can frollick along in ur flowerfields not having to ever deal with racism but I cannot. and if ur not talking abt him then you'd be talking about the "sensitive about sexualities/genders/races" thing and yeah man u right none of that is real. the LGBT disappeared suddenly in 1987. all humans were destroyed as they had race. we're all grey goo people

im not even sure what the complaint even is.. oh nooo someone did a milk redesigning the controversial parts of his design... how ever will we recover..?

8:15 | yeah as everyone knows i can make a character as pale as i want in fanart as long as i say these are my humanizations actually. garbage argument, most people dont draw the characters as actual cookies and most of the fanart does just fine with eyedropping the characters original skintone (oh im sorry, dough!!) so whats the excuse?

dont worry this person is done now we're almost at the end

11:18 | for the other reply, its the fiction doesnt equal reality shit do you really need me to go over this one? do you really. if they just cookies and its just fiction then why y'all feelings hurt so bad. also lumping in whitewashing with age and gender while ur talking about peoples headcanons is a bit weird btw

anyway the last thing i want to go over is the "cookie run fandom is soo obsessed with debating on whitewashing, ages, gender and sexualities!" thing thats so prevelent with these arguments. 2019 had this fun period where with every new cookie that came out there was some sort of controversy with them (millennial tree and raspberry mousse being he/him, roll cake and sorbet shark being a child or not, ect.)

whitewashing is obvious why so i'll move on. some characters can be seen as lesbian coded (white choco and rose for having majority girl fans, sea fairy in general) and there are a few characters that explicitly aren't referred to by any pronouns (dark choco before the guild adventures, peppermint, ect.) which u dont see everyday in games. so yeah.. people care about these things because they like representation. who would've thought?

now im gonna be fucking real. the arguments over cookies ages were always annoying - the reason why the fandom has arguments about ages so much is because devsis REFUSES to tell us canon ages. think about it, majority of the "canonially confirmed" children in the game are from a child event that happened in LINE. thats a completely different company running the game. because of how character-heavy the game is, ships are a very big part of the fandom. i sincerely doubt theres anyone in the fandom who doesnt like any ship and at the time rarepairs were rly common. so when you've got a fandom who really likes to ship and developers that dont ever mention ages then you get a fucking mess. i dont know what sorbet shark or roll cakes age is and its pointless to even debate it because id rather just have the devs confirm it themselves (not like they ever will). and even for the one singular time they did specify that one of the characters was a child, they still showcased fanart of said kid being shipped with an adult anyway

but that concludes the video and thus this response! i have wasted so much time on this i honestly could've showed you them ranting about how "cookies dont have skin colours" in the video or the part in the marina video where they complain about how people "think whitewashing is bad but make non-black characters black" and moved on but what else would i do on a sunday night?

#cookie run #cookie run discourse #FINE ill use that tag but only ONCE. #i got like 52 of the people who've used that tag b4 blocked thts funny #anyway this was a HUGE waste of my time. really fun 2 look at takes that are absolutely freezing cold tho #text

[avenger-hawk]

Why do you like Kakasasu?

I waited to reply to this because I wanted to be sure it wasn’t a troll and it wasn’t a drama starting attempt (like this or this, gems found in the sasuke/KS tag) since it’s a subject I am very interested in.

I replied to Kakashi/Sasuke related asks, shippy or not shippy, here, here and here. More about them here, here and here. Put yourself comfortable cause this is gonna be long. Not putting it under a readmore cause I remember ppl complaining they coulnd’t open it on mobile phones (?). Also, moralists who are lurking: don’t interact, get out of my blog. Youll be blocked on sight.

When I started reading N*ruto I was into Bleach a lot, and the fact that the characters were a little older and looked older made me not get into Nar that much at first, because they looked like kiddies lol. I didn’t care about Nar as a character and his initial rivalry with Sas was cute but not enough to get me interested. Only when Kakashi got closer to Sasuke I started being veery interested in the story and in the characters. What I found intriguing was that Kakashi was older and an authority figure, but also someone to look up and who helped his students, BUT at the same time he wasn’t exactly a father-like figure or a big brother-like figure, because he had his dark side, that back then wasn’t well flashed out but that nevertheless showed a closed-off person who kept everything inside, not letting others get too close to him.

(then I started liking N*rusasu mostly because there were so many cool doujinshi especially Emi10/Rankai and Engawaken, while KS doujinshi were so meh, kinda in old yaoi style like Loveless, with tiny Sas who looked even younger hahaha, not my thing)

As those who know my blog and/or my writing know already, I am not interested in healthy, cute, positive dynamics in fiction. I might enjoy them, I might be happy when there are such moments, but I can’t like a whole relationship/dynamic/story only like this because I like to explore complicated ones in fiction.Because fiction is very useful for this, it makes you explore dark, taboo things, without affecting reality (no matter what idiots say), it’s cathartic, it’s a way to do, see, experience things without doing anything.

Back to topic tho, I found their initial dynamic very intriguing. A broken, traumatized yet extremely driven Sasuke, acting as confident and strong as he can, but showing his trauma in various occasions, otherwise being mostly aloof, lost in his own thoughts, and a differently broken Kakashi, acting chill but at the same time always ready to act when needed, yet always kinda distracted, aloof, lost in his owh thoughts (and later we’ll know he took Obito’s mannerisms because he was a stickler to rules). The way Kakashi takes a special interest for Sasuke, clearly the most driven, the best of the team, with whom he holds back much less (when he trains them, like when in the beginning, during the bell test, he fights with Sas and seeing that he almost took it, he overpowers him) while he is different with the others (Nar will have Jiraiya later). The way he protects Sasuke during the chuunin exams, while he’s in the hospital and Kabuto is trying to kill him.

Mostly, the controversial moments...like I said I live for these kind of things. where he both protects and threatens him...like when he does that seal to Sasuke, for his curse mark, and he tells him that if that curse mark takes over he’ll kill him. Or when he ties Sasuke up so he won’t join Orochimaru.

Before someone says bs like *you’re not Sas fan if you like that scene* (I know there are many like this and I want all of them out of my blog btw) uh, it’s not how it works guys. You can support a character and still be intrigued by scenes where said character is tied up/in a forcibly submitted position and so on. Guess what, some of those scenes are made for fanservice even (and Sas has many of these, so if you don’t see the appeal/refuse to admit that there is appeal, it’s you who have a problem). So even tho I disagree with Kakashi not wanting to listen to Sasuke’s reasons for revenge (and later supporting SHikamaru’s, I replied to this in one of the asks I linked) I do find that scene interesting...I mean Sasuke tied up in a very suggestive way and yet defying him and threatening to kill his loved ones and Kakashi opening up in a very weird way vaguely replying that he lost those ppl already? It shows a lot about them, their personalities, everything.

I am sticking to part 1 because there are more meaningful interactions between them, I wished there were more in part 2 but kishi shifted Kakashi’s ‘interest’ to Nar, making him one of Nar’s followers...even so, the intractions they had were very interesting. Their fight after Sasuke fights Danzo is one of my fave moments in the whole story tbh, much more than the later confrontation with Nar. Kakashi for the first time has an inner only, yet strong, emotional reaction, having to fight and supposedly kill his former student who became a rogue with a death sentence on his head...he realizes this is how Hiruzen felt against Orochimaru. It’s a strong realization from someone like him who was always so closed off and aloof that he totally lacked empathy.

On the other hand Sasuke is in a different mindset. He’s sort of high for having succeeded in eliminating the one who made Itachi suffer so much, he’s thinking about killing the elders and destroy the village, so he’s basically lost in the recent past of Danzo’s death and in the future plans he’s making, he’s not in the present moment almost...but he has to fight anyway, and it’s a cool fight, also because he’s weakened already and Kakashi is strong...and then he gets blind, totally, and it’s an amazingly intriguing moment, the kind of controversial stuff I’m interested in, because that’s when he could be totally overpowered by Kakashi, if the story didn’t have other priorities (putting Nar in the center of attention with their confrontation).

Their later moments, like during the war, are meh cause the interest shifted already completely, but their moments in jail (anime only ofc) and their Shinden interactions (only through messages) are interesting to me. Very much so, because they show power dynamics very well, with Kakashi as THE authority and Sasuke as the one submitted. In jail it’s even more evident with him looking down at the younger tied up and blindfolded...like, wow. It’s like fanfiction material (in fact I wrote one (ff.net/a03) and there was the coolest fanart inspired by it! here..there were more but this came on my dash today so).

You mentioned power dynamics...their dynamics are all power dynamics because Kakashi was never at Sasuke’s same level and he never acted like he was, and when Sasuke was stronger, during the war, they basically didn’t interact, and when the war was over and Sasuke was brainwashed and tamed into submission the power dynamic remained the same.

The difference imo between them and other power dynamics based pairings is that they are closer than what could be defined rare pairings such as Obito (they had a very interesting one tho, if only it was developed), Madara (the story was already developed in a pro Konoha-anti Uchiha way but it would have been so cool to have the 2 Uchiha interact more), or other older and stronger characters, so the dynamic could be written in a cool way in a fanfiction but in canon Kakashi created it already. So, while I can imagine something like Shisui/Sasuke, Obisasu or more, in my head, and I can come up with some AU or canon divergent/canon behind the screen (like when Sas stayed with Obito after the transplant), Kakashi and Sasuke had canon interactions that showed power dynamics already.

(Then there is Itasasu, which is a huge power dynamic based relationship, that also had amazingly strong feelings though, and those who know me know that for me Itachi will always be Sasuke’s most loved person, and that he was the same for Itachi. So ofc imo IS is a much stronger bond compared to KS but still. Also I remember in the beginning how many fics I read where Itachi was abusive to Sas and Kakashi stepped in lol. And it’s not a mystery that even though I think the IS bond is the strongest I find other pairings and character dynamics very interesting, so much that I like to explore them even more than IS, which, imo, is almost a given fact so I don’t always feel the need to explore it)

Another thing I find intriguing is that Kakashi always saw Sas at his ‘worst’...in Konoha’s terms I mean. When he wanted revenge in pt 1, after he killed Danzo and he was weak and so desperate and hysterical that they thought he got crazy, when he was jailed. It’s a big power he has, to be able to see someone like this.

Tbh it’s a pity that there were no post war moments (B*ruto shit doesn’t count) where they interact ‘normally’ cause I would have liked to see them, both as normal interactions where they get closer again, now that Sas is older, where they train and they get physical (and Kakashi has a lot of repressed anger, jealousy and possessiveness to let out on the one who betrayed his sensei and went to another...not my opinion but it could be Kakashi’s pov) because I think power dynamic would come up a lot, even from apparently cute moments.

I’ll end this super long essay hoping that you didn’t fall asleep lol, and adding that Kakasasu was the first Nar pairing I shipped, which it speaks a lot about why I get so irritated when someone mentions it negatively.

#kakasasu #unfollow me or block me if this bothers you #even tho I want to be the one blocking you guys who have something to say against this #vivalarevolution #vivalarevolution: bonds

[dianaburnwood]

HITMAN 3: First Impressions

This post is full of SPOILERS. Also, it is LONG, so.... yeah. Be prepared lol 

HITMAN 3. Also known as: Diana’s Game. 

Dear GOD I am in love. 

I’m going to do my best to make this coherent. But. I am still freaking out. And I have SO much more to explore!!!! This won’t be very in-depth because I played each map exactly once so far. There’s so much left to see, conversations to overhear, opportunities to exploit - but, I DO have some first impressions, oh hell yes. 

Menu: 

That menu music!!! I was not expecting that at all. It was a mix of choral and classical with previous themes intertwined, and it reminded me of Blood Money. Speaking of Blood Money, this game is Blood Money. 

Dubai: 

Very, very beautiful. Kinda thought Grey made it all about himself lol of course he wanted to say “in your face” to the partners, but it was like 47 was just there to pull the trigger, like he’d not been hurt by them too. But, I really liked it. Trapping them in a room and watching them freak while Grey watched me kill them?? Helloo??? Popping off HARD from the start and I love it.

So - here’s the thing. I don’t get the timing. Diana tells them then that Edwards escaped. Did he escape just before the boys got to Dubai? Or were they unavailable to reach until then? It seems that the message Grey got at the end of HAVEN was after Olivia hacked the HAVEN servers, and then the boys were out of reach so after Diana discovered Edwards was gone, she couldn’t tell them until Dubai? And it was shown to us in a different order to leave us hanging? I dunno. Maybe? It seems weird. 

THE CUTSCENE here omg - once again establishing that 47 and Diana are ride or die. “Diana will make it right, she always does” - BABE. BABE. SWEET BOY. His little face when Grey doesn’t trust Diana. OMGGG.

Dartmoor: 

I went the murder mystery route, of course. I figured it was Emma from her conversation with her husband, but I got all the clues after just to be sure. Can’t believe Carlisle just handed 47 the file on Edwards and then went out alone on the balcony like I wasn’t gonna kill her??? Bitch????? do you forget who i am?????? Anyway, the murder mystery was SO much fun, but I can’t wait to infiltrate this manor in other ways. Lots of Beldingford vibes here.

THE CUTSCENE bdsfgafhlsjfah WAHT????? Ok so HOW did Edwards know where they were? And - ok, so it made for an amazing scene, but Grey is a badass. He is a mercenary genius that duped the ICA and brought Providence to its knees. How did he get himself surrounded in the woods by CICADA? But he did, and it was beautiful, and he literally only shot himself to save 47, and the LOOK in 47′s eyes on his balaclava face - I just bfjKSFasad. I can’t believe he died so early tho. I was very sure he’d die somehow, but SO early. WOW. 

Berlin:

fucking hell. Berlin. fuck. fucckkkk. 

I wanna shout out to Mini (not gonna tag you in case you’re avoiding spoilers) but hot damn girl if you’re reading you were BANG ON about 47 wearing Grey’s coat. I really didn’t think it was his. It was. It is such a beautiful way for 47 to express his emotions about this death without actually saying anything. Omg. It was perfection. I’m crying thinking about it.

BERLIN was where this game really upped its... game. Like WOW. 5 targets, and it’s the ICA. Clearly Edwards went to the ICA board at this stage and was like uhhhh so you need to take these ppl out. HOWEVER I am amazed that the ICA is like “oh, ok”. DO you not remember what happened in SOUTH DAKOTA. 

But going after the ICA is a fucking trip and I love it. I love how 47 says each agent’s name to himself. I love how he listens in and the team handler realises it. I love how she pulls the rest of her team out once you get 5. I love that the ICA agents use disguises too!!! This is truly APEX PREDATOR and I love that they named it that. Y’all think you have the balls to go up against 47??? bitch?????

But the fact that you have to find the targets and none of them are marked is so fantastic. I found 6, but I have no idea how many are actually available - but I’m gonna find out!!! The club is HUGE as well, and lots of throwbacks to Contracts, especially with the biker gang. Amazing. Amazing level. I’m so excited to replay it. 

Also they really addressed the elephant in the room with the ICA agents describing 47 as a caucasian male, bald, average height and ppl being like uh that’s every man here, and then he said yeah but he’s got this big tattoo lmao 

Chongqing

ok this is where I started to think this game was my fanfiction. Inside the ICA? Showing off how truly international it is, and high tech. Hidden in plain sight. Ready to dismantle in 12 hours if needed. SO perfect. This lore builds on Absolution and Blood Money ICA lore in wonderful ways. 

Also, I don’t know why the IOI and DK of the logo looked different in the trailer, they must have been just hard to make out. Cos in the game, the ICA logo is the same as all previous games. 

Also, analysts do client vetting? Intrigue. Always assumed that was part of the handlers’ job. I take it all back Diana, you have never done anything wrong in your life, ever 

I killed Royce by firing the ppl she recommended so she’d get trapped in the data core cleaning. I killed Hush (what a name I love it) as his patient. 

Working with Olivia is really fun. I missed Diana, but Olivia brought a whole fresh perspective. I also really like how neither Grey nor Olivia are as good as Diana - they both fucked up while guiding 47 at least once. 

47 saying “...I will leave you to prepare” to Olivia, I yelled fdagsfa

Also I love how 47 decided to expose the ICA exactly like Diana did in Absolution. Those two. One of a kind. My heart. And his desire to protect her. I love that the files showed their start together. Olivia saying “I can see why you...” and then she stopped herself. We all KNOW what she was gonna say. 

AND AND AND AND 

the cutscene - I screamed

“47 has one weakness. Me.” 

I swear to fucking GOD, IO has seen into my soul. I’ve said all along that Diana is 47′s weakness, and he is hers. But to hear it said, aloud, by my girl? WHAT???!!!!!

Mendoza

Ok. OK. OKKKKKK. OK. I can’t even write about this one. This was where I was pretty sure I was hallucinating the entire level. This is my Diana and 47 dreams come true. This is insane. This is EVERYTHING.

So we have OUR MOMENT IN THE SUN. She puts her HAND on HIS HAND and he looks in fucking wonderment at it. ahugarhiewEG;FEJGHEFlejlhsgfes;gjrsgt. I can’t. I can barely get through writing about this. 

Diana - the dress, the Jolie thigh slit, the jewellery, the hair (they finally fixed her fucking hair), SASS. “I have tango fever” omg. 

How do these ppl not have a pic of 47 by now lol 

I followed Diana and Vidal around cos I was entranced by my girl. Diana was fucking amazing each time. So much sass. Little did I know I interrupted them enough times for Vidal to say “ok son let’s talk”. I saw the tango and I was like omg imagine if I could dance with Diana. 

well.

WELL. 

Anyway, got to kill Vidal via her own setup for me, and that was amazing. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I snuck into the house to kill Yates, and overheard him calling Edwards’ voicemail. Also, it is April 2021?? So, yeah. My previous dates were way wrong lol. 

And then, ALL MY DREAMS CAME TRUE. Diana and 47 fucking dancing the tango? I was pissed that I was in a security guard outfit, next time I play he will be in his tuxedo baby. 

Diana’s comments to 47 when he’s in disguise tho, I was freaking. As security “you look like a true professional. I feel so much safer with you gentlemen around” aaahhhh

UH HE FELL TO THE GROUND COS OF POISON fngjfagfljgnsdfa

I am so glad I was right about my baby girl tho. She even told him “you didn’t have a choice” about her parents. Good. I’m so glad I was right about that. But omg it broke my heart to have 47 so, SO, SOOO sure of Diana all along, defending her to Grey and Olivia, knowing, KNOWING that she was on his side, and then, he eventually started to doubt it. 

I was screaming at my screen - this is BLOOD MONEY! SHe is doing what she did in BLOOD MONEY!!!!

But, for a second, 47 wasn’t sure anymore. And Diana played her part well. 

Carpathian Mountains

Ok, what I love most about Contracts was how it gave us an insight into 47′s psyche, and this game upped that tenfold. Him seeing all his targets surround him? Him imagining Diana and the Constant dancing together? Him imagining her say terrible things about him, things he’s thought about himself deep down, always, omg, but he finally snapped out of it. Ironic that thinking about Grey snapped him out of it, when in life Grey had not trusted Diana. But 47 came to the realisation on his own. Diana would never betray him. 

opening that door and finding out you’re on a fucking train?????? I screamed. 

I am a bit disappointed that it turned out Romania wasn’t significant, they just happened to be passing through. But omg the fact that you are “subject 47″ again. I freaked. This is 47′s worst nightmare. 

I love that you have a free pass to kill everyone in this level. I did it in stealth anyway, cos it felt wonderfully tense to sneak through that train. But wow. This is another BIG risk that IO took. The train was straight out of Uncharted, and crafting a silencer for your pistol??? Hello The Last of Us????? But I don’t care. They used those elements super well. 

I think some people will be angry at this game because parts of it (especially the last level) were a departure from how HITMAN and HITMAN 2 worked. But I love it. I love that they took risks to tell the story they wanted to tell, and those risks paid off. 

47′s undying loyalty to Diana, omg. Telling Edwards bye bitch, I’ll never forget who I am again, and Diana thinks you suck. <3<3<3<3<3

ENDING

OH MY GOD. ONE YEAR LATER????? 47 obviously took some time off cos he fucking needed a break. But he’s back, baby. Ending on “it’s good to be back” was wonderful. The game ended where the 2015 trailer for HITMAN started, and I’m crying. He’s ready to continue with Diana, and not because it’s what he was made to do, not because he doesn’t know what else to do, but finally, because he CHOOSES to do that. 

But one year later? What does that mean? Has Diana rebuilt the ICA like in Blood Money, or will she and 47 work together without anyone else? They’ll need the infrastructure that an organisation like the ICA has though. Diana said she would dismantle Providence from the top down once Edwards was gone, but how? Does that mean dismantling what’s left of the ICA? They were one and the same by the end of the game. All that didn’t just disappear. I’m left with so many questions. 

I was disappointed Diana wasn’t in the cabin when 47 got there. And I wonder why she wasn’t. She knew he was coming, but they are clearly still on good terms. Maybe she wasn’t sure what to expect. But does that mean they hadn’t spoken in a year since??? But she didn’t sound surprised to hear him, and he had coordinates that he was following, so I think they arranged to meet. But her phone was in there when he arrived, and she wasn’t. Maybe he was tracking her phone? Did she come back there to him after????? 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT 

the game 

ended

with 47

smiling 

And for that I will be forever grateful. 

Ok bye, I need to play it again. RIP work tomorrow lol 

#hitman 3 first impressions #hitman3spoilers

[goyurim]

I was tagged by @its-chelisey-stuff @koreandragon @leedongsik @gimme-a-chocolate @what-breaks-my-heart and @wullu woah woah wooahh slow down there people i get i’m famous but one at a time please 🤚🏽

1. Why did you choose your url?

do i need to go off on a rant about how much i’m obsessed with this lil sunflower, the literal sun, i revolve around him everyday, he gives me light, the brightest star in my universe, or are y’all sick and tired of me already

2. Any sideblogs?

nope

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

wow uh... i don’t remember... 2013 maybe? i made this blog last year in august though

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i don’t have a tag, in fact i don’t tag most of my stuff bc i’m lazy, but my blog almost always runs on queue. once in a blue moon i obsessively post about my hyperfixations but i try not to torture my followers too much

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i made it to talk to people about flower of evil and intended to delete it afterwards but then i decided to explore photoshop and practice my editing skills too so... i’m still here

6. Why did you choose your avatar?

tak dong kyung is the cutest liddol bean i love that girlie so much. my avatars are just my favourite characters of shows i’m currently watching/not over yet

7. Why did you choose your header?

Because I love Beyond Evil and that scene is everything. - that’s mel’s answer and i’m stealing it bc both our headers are from the same scene and she’s right

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

*sighs* yaa’s. boat. post. it’s gonna haunt me forever isn’t it. no i’m not linking it he already did in his post and that’s enough

9. How many mutuals do you have?

you can check that?? how???

10. How many followers do you have?

491

11. How many blogs do you follow?

144

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

yeah. mostly whenever i’m ranting about my personal life that no one probably cares or wants to know about

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

once? i’m online almost every day unless i have exams or assignments due then i take a couple weeks off. my blog still runs on queue while i’m gone so y’all can feel my presence on your dashes uwu 💞

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

lmao i’m too cowardly to fight people. i do disagree with people on drama opinions mostly but the conversations are always civil

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

they’re guilt-trippy and make me feel bad about myself so i scroll past them real fast usually. no need to make this site a bad experience for me that’s not what this place is for

16. Do you like tag games?

always! they’re so much fun i love doing them and i love getting tagged my response is always ‘oh! this moot remembers me?! thank you for acknowledging my existence! i love you so much!!’ the reason i’m so slow at doing them is bc i need to be in the right headspace i don’t wanna just skim over them and i’m always scared of tagging ppl bc i feel like i’m bothering them lmao

17. Do you like ask games?

yes!! tag games, ask games, i love them all!!! getting attention feels great!!!!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Idk they are all famous to me 😘 - stealing mel’s answer again bc yes. you’re all famous in my heart 🥰

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i am a little bit in love with all of my mutuals. we have this strange unyielding bond that ascends beyond time and space and i hope i have made all of my mutuals feel it in one way or another at some point during my time here. any love i made you feel is yours to keep 💓

20. Tags?

i feel like everyone’s done this already so anyone who feels like doing it can say i tagged you!! <3

#thank you so much for tagging me all you lovely people!!! #fun stuff #tagged #hope you're all having a lovely day 💘💝

[taeminie]

tag game 🌈

i was tagged by the lovely doreen ( @gunsatthaphan ) to answer these questions. 🥰💜

1. why did you choose your url?

i love win metawin. simple. my previous url like very early on was sarawatined and then i went to metawwin then i removed the w. hehe

2. any sideblogs?  if you have them name them and why you have them.

i always considered making one (i got lazy) but then i realized that this blog is my personality and i like having one blog for all my interests and likes bc it represents my brain lmao and i’m aware it’s a mess but i love it.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i made this blog on april last year but i’ve been on tumblr since october 2009 so i’ve seen it all.

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope! i prefer scheduling posts tbh.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

the main reason was 2gether. i made it during the final eps and i just remember seeing everything on my dash and being so fascinated bc it was my hyperfixation at that time. my friend angel had made a blog and i was hesitant to come back to tumblr at first bc my prev. blog got hacked and deleted and it was a scary experience for me. but i ended up doing it and i was super happy. also, i started watching thai dramas like around 2016 so it was nice to find all these dramas on tumblr again and even new ones afterwards.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

she’s my wife 💍 (that CK shoot.... man. i edited it on photoshop and idk i like how it turned out and i really like the bg color. and how she’s holding a film camera as in to represent all the dramas i watch ;) or smth like that)

7. why did you choose your header?

well i love brightwin, they were a huge part of the reason i made this blog so i like having a win url and a bright layout and technically when i had a twitter i had a bright username so they just complemented each other. 💕

8. what‘s your post with the most notes?

gay wat. happy pride folks 🌈

9. how many mutuals do you have?

well i think everyone i follow follows me back with some exceptions so over 100+

10. how many followers do you have?

too many for so little time that i’ve been here. *blows a kiss* thank u so much. 🥺

11. how many people do you follow?

163.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

if my random text posts that i end up deleting count as that then... yes

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

daily on the app. it makes everything so much easier. on my laptop, maybe 3/4 times a week. but a lot overall.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no pls i hope that never happens fjdkkdkdk i’m here for love and from love. thx

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this‘ posts

oh. very guilt trippy. i found that sometimes posts can be triggering or ppl are just not in the right mindset to reblog/interact. you are not a terrible person for scrolling past a post. pls dont let anyone tell u otherwise.

16. do you like tag games?

love them!!! but sometimes they get lost in my notifs and i don’t see them when someone tags me :( i’m gonna try to do more of them when i can.

17. do you like ask games?

yessss i love getting asks it makes me so excited like ppl care wow

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

idk by definition. but a lot have been around way longer than me and make content for so many different fandoms as well so they’re more known as well.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i have crushes on ppl every single day and then do nothing about it. (but yes 😏)

20. tags?

this was so much fun to do. thanks for tagging me angel @gunsatthaphan 💜💜💜💜💜💜

i’m tagging: @earthmixs @jaehwany @brightwin @phapundao @theghostvalley @ataleofthousandstars @lastwilight @itoldsunset @kaonoppakao @uppoompat @yesdramas & @scrubbfantine have fun!!!! (only if u want to)

#tag game #☺️☺️☺️ #text

[actualbird]

Opening Line Tag Game :DDD

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

was tagged by @dont-offend-the-bees!! thanks for the tag, newt!!!! ur dghda fics holds a special place in my heart even though ive sailed away to fandoms afar.

well, here’s the first lines of the past 20 fanfics i posted onto my ao3, starting from most recent going back!!

When he gets home, Signora is leaning against the door of his apartment. (something like a death wish, Genshin Impact)

It’s a somber affair, when it’s time for Azhdaha to fade away. (it's a hard rock life for us, Genshin Impact)

Azhdaha is born into a world of darkness. (you give me miles and miles of mountains, Genshin Impact)

It starts with one of Jean’s many romance novels. (what's inside? that's causing this malfunction, Genshin Impact)

Ajax didn’t think about it much, before. (i forget the difference between seduction and arson, ignition and cognition, Genshin Impact)

The ceremony is a small affair. (if it was important, we would have remembered, Genshin Impact)

He wakes up alone, shaking and bathed in darkness. (our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home, Genshin Impact)

Kaeya doesn’t have baby pictures— what with the whole abandoned by his birth father at the ripe age of six at the doorstep of a winery tycoon shebang—but ever since he did get adopted, Crepus Ragnvindr took basically a million pictures of his two boys through every single year of their life. (angry react, Genshin Impact)

How strangely time passes; sometimes it soars like a feathered sliver in the sky, hopeful and free. (it's time to leave and turn to dust, Genshin Impact)

Thankfully, Charles is the one manning the bar when Kaeya gets to the Angel’s Share tavern. (ain't i the best you had?, Genshin Impact)

Life as a Fatui grunt isn’t as fabulous as the Snezhnayan rumor mill makes it out to be. (we don't even have dental..., Genshin Impact)

Here’s the thing: Childe’s career was going fucking great. (put your hands on me, Genshin Impact)

In the beginning, there was a land that was left by the gods to rot. (take this cup away from me, Genshin Impact)

Childe is in a domain hunting down intel when things go a bit fun. (taste of poison paradise, Genshin Impact)

Everybody in Pelican Town knows of the new resident, but knowing anything substantial about him is something else altogether. (a fullered blade and a scalpel, Stardew Valley)

Ronnie’s known for quite a while that Harvey is, well...endowed. (baby, you got lucky cause you're rocking with the best, Stardew Valley)

Ronnie has always been different from other people. (legend has it that the moss grows on the north side of the trees, Stardew Valley)

Spring comes, as it always does. (that's what seasons do, Stardew Valley)

The universe lurches. (just enjoy the show, Polygon Cyberpunk Red)

It comes in stages, not all at once. (not quite 20/20 vision, Hades)

can you believe these past 20 fics were ALL posted this year???? I WROTE 20 FANFICS IN 5 MONTHS....ON GODS THIS PANDEMIC HAS GOTTA END, SKJDFHKJSDF.

anyway //steeples hands. some patterns ive noticed as i put this list together

i almost always use the first sentence to establish either setting or premise. i guess i do this because, personally, when i enter a scene, the first thing i want to know is what im supposed to be physically experiencing or what im supposed to be emotionally focused on, if that makes sense? i need to Know!!!!! which means that my first lines honestly, in my opinion, are a bit boring akjfkbjfkjbfd. i gotta set down the bedrock or else everything else will be wobbly!!! i write my fics like i construct a fuckin jenga tower, i swear akjfbakjsf

something i do keep in mind with all my first lines is the very simple yet integral rule: a sentence’s purpose is to do what it needs to do, but also to make the reader want to read the next sentence. this, i guess, is why nearly all of my first lines feel like a cliffhanger. thats on purpose because what i want to do with my first line is get u to keep reading. in a sense, my first lines are working triple time. they 1) do whatever it is they need to do for the story, 2) establish setting/premise, and 3) push you onwards to the next sentence like a baby sea turtle waddling to the ocean.

related to “triple time” but that was something i learned from a brutal fiction professor who was wonderful and intelligent! but also made me shift out of the fiction track in college HAHA. his basic belief was that sentences cant just be doing One Thing. you’re going waste a lot of time and a lot of words and lose your reader, if you go at things like that. sentences have to multitask. i am very aware of this with opening lines...

and last but not least, all these opening lines undoubtedly suck on their own HAHKJBKDFJDJF

i....dont think i have a favorite opening line of all of the ones i listed tbh. like i said, all my opening lines, on their own, dont exactly Wow, so im lukewarm about all these haha. i think....this is indicative of me having to step up my opening line game......

//jazz hands. anyway theres that! and as for ppl to tag, i am notoriously shy when it comes to writer tag games, but im breaking my shyness to tag @listentotheshityousay and @theinternationalacestation . 

no need to do it if u dont wanna, friends!!! jus know i adore yalls’ writing so very very much

#tag game #long post #fic directors cut

[pleasemeosaur]

Thank you for the tag @kookieisbaby 💕💕💕💕

1. why did you choose your url? it was a combo of my favorite jurassic reptile plesiosaurus + a dumb play on words haha

2. any side blogs? nope it stresses me out to manage more than one

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i created my account 11 years ago 😳😳😳 but i was active for like 7 years and then took a break in 2017 when jonghyun died 🖤 now i'm back bc i'm a hoe for ooo 💅

4. do you have a queue tag? nope too scatterbrained to schedule, i just leave things in my drafts until i'm ready lol

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? i honestly don't remember???? i just remember livejournal was losing steam and i needed a new place to scream into the void

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? bruh have u seen wookjin

7. why did you choose your header? i needed some art to counteract the beauty of wookjin, also claire basler is one of my favorite artists (she lives in a beautiful estate in france and has transformed every room into a living gallery)

8. what’s your post with the most notes? crop top lace wookjin not surprised

9. how many mutuals do you have? 24, i'm terrible at making friends 🙃 i just like ppl's posts and hope that they notice me 🥺👉👈

10. how many followers do you have? 157!!! that's 14 more peeps that i've gained since i came back last month wow thank you!!

11. how many people do you follow? 180

12. have you ever made a shitpost? i am a shitpost (stealing this)

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? i check multiple times a day since y'all post A+++ content, not so good on posting myself tho

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope i'm level 11 on the conflict avoidance chart ✋✋✋

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts? ??? i'm not sure i've encountered this, but would probably ignore

16. do you like tag games? i love them, i just take a long ass time to compile my answers haha

17. do you like ask games? love these too, just not good at thinking of content to ask

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? @henlex for your reactions and multi fandom thirst lmao & @onlyoneofyouuuuu for the dedication to the aesthetic and HQ posts 🙏

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? every single one of them (stealing this x2)

20. tags? moot fam roll call @thebandersnatchoftheshire @onlyverries @lazywriterinthedark @junquisite @we-called-monsta-for-a-reason @224-12 @parkmejeon004 @foxpuppylove @ghostfeather @reformedcharacter @uh0paque

#tag game #this one was really fun

[morkofday]

thank you once again @yibobibo​ for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here. 

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions: 

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu). 

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.  

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ @ashenwren​ @kholran​ @tiesanjiao​ @lan-xichens​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @manhasetardis​ and @lzswy​​ ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

#tag game #wow this was something #i've been waiting for one #bc there is so much love in me #and this year i've discovered so many #new characters to just gush over #about me #random #edit: added a few characters #and tagged some more ppl sorry #also mobile tumblr wouldnt let me edit so lol

[tthankstoyou]

Bestie, from one hevans shipper to another, what is it about Hevans that does it for you? Why are you a shipper? What was the moment that made you realise you felt this way? What are your favourite cannon moments? What are your favourite headcannons? Tell me EVERYTHING teehee uwu

ASJHF THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK ILY!! This got long so everything is under the cut...... sometimes I just can't shut up about them. I love these boys so much <3

OKAY SO I actually made a masterpost type thing of reasons that I ship hevans, which you can find here

BUT I WILL ADD TO THAT LIST OF THINGS! I also love how the au's aren't that far removed from canon. Like. A secret relationship when they're living together in s3? Yes please! It's not too crazy to think about model!sam x vogue!kurt, swimmer!sam x kurt , & jock!sam x cheerio!kurt. These tropes all take from things that are canon, which is something that I love. You don't have to change a whole character and their interests to write stuff.

Bestie, on the moment that made me realize I ship them... I'm sorry to say this but I used to... really not like Hevans. Like before I came onto Glee Tumblr, I used to lurk on Glee Instagram and whenever ppl posted about Hevans on there, I was like "Okay... and... what's even the point" (but then again I didn't ship any crackship/non-canon ship at the time). BUT OH GOSH then I joined the Glee fandom on here... and I remember searching through the Hevans tag bc #yolo & after scrolling past the third gifset, I was like "Fuck, I think I ship them now."

On top of that, I think what really got me hooked wasn't the canon scenes (although I do love those so much), but it was the thought of how much they would help each other grow as people. Like if you look at Kurt and Sam, they are both rocks for people in there life and are always there for them... but they don't get much of that reciprocated. Like we don't see Kurt asking for help with things he's struggling with past s2x06. AND! That's especially seen with his father's health problems. Sam has been through family troubles too, he knows how hard it is to ask for help and I think he would encourage Kurt to open up to people and not internalize all of the pain he's going through. And okay this part is canon, but Kurt helped Sam so much when he was homeless. Like Kurt was selfless enough to go out of his way and help out Sam when he was at his lowest, that shit gets me right in the heart. I just think they would be great for each other and encourage each other to be the best versions of themselves.

My favorite canon moments would probably have to be when Sam fought Karofsky for Kurt and deadass everything in season 6. On fighting Karofsky, I know that Kurt doesn't need anyone to defend his honor, but try to look me in the eyes and tell me it isn't fruity to get into a fistfight for a guy that you've just met. Like Sam barely knows Kurt, but here he us throwing punches in the locker room. It's just all in how much Sam must have cared about Kurt to do that for him.

And on the s6 scenes..... OH BOY.... Hevans should have dated in s6. Like okay okay 1) that scene where they're talking to everyone about a plan to bring Rachel back to New York. How Sam keeps on looking at Kurt.... and they way they turn to look at each other.... wow I love them. Oh and dear God, I die a little bit every time when I see that shot where Sam brushes his hand across Kurt's arm... please kiss already. And idk man just the thought of Sam and Kurt hanging out after work (maybe at the Lima Bean) and coming up with a plan to help out one of their friends get her life back on track. They're both such caring people and work so hard to make those that they love happy.

I made posts for Hevans headcanons, which you can find part 1 here and part 2 here.... maybe one day I'll make a part three... hmm just maybe. BUT UNTIL THEN!!! I will give you some little headcanons hehehe

- Kurt babysat Stevie and Stacy alongside Quinn.

- The reason why Kurt wasn't in that video about how great Sam is, is because Kurt put together something special for him that was super personal. It's a list of reasons why Kurt loves Sam... they're broken up at the time so Sam seeing how Kurt wrote "loves" instead of "loved" makes him fight to get back together with Kurt. So not only does this list of things give Sam motivation to not give up in life, but he also gets a boyfriend out of it.

- Kurt helped Sam touch up his roots and trimmed his hair.

- Branching off of what I said earlier about Sam and Kurt meeting at the Lima Bean to conspire about how to help Rachel, they played footsie underneath the table. And it took all of their strength to not reach over and hold each other's hands on top of the table... bc they didn't know if their relationship was at the point yet of holding hands so casually.

- Kurt bought Sam those soda and candy flavored chapsticks from Claires. Kurt ended up loving the scents of some of them and stole them for himself... but Sam could tell right away that Kurt stole them based off of the flavor of his lips.

- They're both huge Taylor fans and made sure to go to every show together, even when if they were on a break. (This is based off of Kurt's love for female artists & Sam's love for country).

- Carole knew they were dating before they told anyone about their relationship. Burt sensed there was a new boy in Kurt's life, based off of how he was acting, but didn't know who. Carole could tell it was Sam because of how Kurt always suddenly wanted to hang out with Finn when Sam came over to play video games.

- Kurt helped Sam get some modeling jobs through his Vogue connections before he quit modeling... Isabelle absolutely adored Sam and wanted to hire him on as a full time model.

#they own my heart #asks #nonny #hevans

[jtrbluv]

“F 2020!” - TXT

it’s 3:30am and i’m 2 lazy to make a header so here’s yoongi, i promise i have nicer handwriting

wow, i literally have no idea where to start. it’s almost my three year anniversary of being on this hellsite, but i think i can definitely say that 2020 has probably been one of my favorite years by far, and i am really grateful for it. i think 2020 was a year i was able to improve a lot in my writing despite not producing and releasing a lot of content. quarantine finally allowed me to actually sit down and focus on writing more than i ever have before, and shit, it felt good! it finally felt like i was able to write for myself and not just to please others, and it felt so rewarding rawr (•̀ᴗ•́)و

to all my followers, thank you all so so much. each and every single one of you are a huge reason as to why i’m still here and continue to write. all the likes, reblogs, comments, asks, and more mean the absolute world to me and other writers as well. i think as content creators we can all say that we all go back and scroll through all your messages. thank you for continuing to support me and hopefully i can manage to gift more fics to you this year! luv u all so much <33

to all my mutuals, whether we’ve talked once, twice, never, or a lot, thank you so much for letting me into your world! i really appreciate and luv each and every one of you and always enjoy seeing you all around my dash, we love 2 see it!! i wish you all the best and pls never hesitate to talk to me, i’ll always be here through but especially to support you and hype you all up!! >:) <33

i was going to tag people, but i don’t wanna risk missing anyone T-T. hopefully, you all know who you are :)) just know i luv u fr

lastly, here are some sappy ass luv letters to some of you in particular, sry in advance 🥶🥶

@koushiningg - yeah, of course your ass is going first. hey jae bae, bestie 4L, partner-in-crime, the one person who’s read every, and i mean EVERY single one of my fics. it irks me how much you’re always able to write out your feelings towards the people you care about, bc i SUCK at it! so yes, thank you so much for just being you, i’ll write u a sappy long letter for ur grad email but for now, thank u so much for putting up with my dumbass, listening to me ramble abt the ideas i get at the asscrack of dawn, reading my fics, supporting me in everything that i do. i love u sm fr. here is to the year that we’ve been waiting for, 2021. let’s make it our year.

@taehyungieskith - mika bae........ to think that you were still a local this year is so silly to think abt, i still remember us in the 400s and me giving u song recs in the band room GAHAHDHAJ. i love the little book club type shit we be doing, i always love ur recs duh wtf. thank u twin for always hyping up my stuff and thank god u arent on wattpad anymore mhm love u twin jumi #2 fr

@viopera - VIO!!! we’ve met recently but it feels like i’ve known u for awhile now. literally i’m so happy cuz i remember telling u to write fics and u were straight up like “no.” and now here we are RAWR! u should know this by now and u probably do but i will always be ur #1 supporter and eternal beta-reader. i hope you’re feeling better and ily my fav corpse stan and bad bitch!!!!

@bangtans-peaceful-piegon - AHH PIDGE!!! if i can remember correctly, you were one of the first people i actually talked to on the fic hub server and wow you are just the cutest and literal sweetest thing. we clicked so easily and the vibes u give off are just absolutely impeccable. i love u and i’m always here for u !!! <33

@sugacouture - AYO MEI!!! istg we literally just started talking frfr like a couple days ago but it’s like i’ve known u for years, like wtf. we literally have the same humor and vibes and it’s been rly swag talking to u. i am also more than happy to be ur eternal beta-reader and header helper if that wasn’t already clear duh <3 yeah you are so cute and you write so well that it’s unfair. mhm. unfair. *inserts that one taekook photo* love u, i’ll kidnap u and we’ll get boba and pho <3

@dreamystuffers - RACH!!!!!! rach you truly mesmerize me bc you are so freaking multi-talented, it leaves me in awe. i’m so happy you’ve continued to do what you do luv!! i will always be here and supporting u thru whatever u do!!! luv u sm!! <33

@tatastaetae - marria bby! hi!! ik we don’t talk that much but when we do you’re always such a joy to talk to! the range in ur fics is insane and i always love 2 see it! love u sm and i’m always here for u luv (i swear i’ll be more active on servers wjdjsjjds)

@pjmsdior - bella!!! we haven’t talked for that long either but i always love meeting fil moots!!! you are the sweetest thing and just know that i’ll always be here for u if u need anyone to talk to!!! if i was rich, i’d buy us both new phones in a heartbeat bc our phone literally hate us and for WHAT. kk luv u bella mwah <3

@suhdays - MO! oh my i rly do mean it when i say that u have got to be one of the sweetest and most genuine ppl i’ve met so far this year on this hellsite. ty for making me feel so welcome on the discord servers and networks despite me not being super active on there. when i do get money, i do wish to buy from your etsy shop T-T ,, you are literally the best and deserve the world mo, love u !

@jinpanman - mai! hiii!!! i know we don’t talk much but i’d just like to thank u for the sheer kindness and sweetness you’ve always treated me with! on the occasions that we do talk, you are such a sweetheart omg. ur fics are absolutely to die for and ilysm bby <3

@softguks - AHHDHJE LAUR! when i save u best 4 last <3. we’ve honestly barely interacted at all but you are the most sweetest thing ever, you make my heart full!!! i hope we’re able to interact more in the future and that u come back soon!

- ur local laur luvbot

my secret admirer, hi! i’m not sure if you’ll see this or not since i obviously can’t tag u, but i rly do appreciate u and all the messages u send 🥺🥺 sometimes i go back to them and read them over bc they’re actually so sweet and this is my first actual anon interaction rawr ;w; like always, i wish u nothing but the best and pls take care ☀️ anon!!! <3

sending luv and good vibes to all of u for the new year, always <3

— love, jumi (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

#happy new year!

[palmett-hoes]

Hi, I really loved your post with the monsters as Birds of Prey! Was wondering if you had any thoughts on the Foxes as Marvel or Mcu characters? I feel like I could see Dan as Carol Danvers and Andrew for sure is Jessica Jones, idk about the rest.

oh wow old post!!

haha unfortunately i’m not really a comics person so i don’t feel like i can really give the best analysis possible, but i have seen most of the mcu movies and bits and pieces of the netflix show so i’ll try my best. also im using dc characters too bc i want to

1. Dan: I think your instinct with Dan as Captain Marvel is spot-on (at least uhhh,, based on the movie lol sorry comics ppl). Her direct, forceful powers and fighting style are definitely reminiscent of dan’s no-nonsense leadership approach. similarly the themes of overcoming sexism and acceling in a male-dominated industry in the captain marvel movie is pretty much the same as dan’s story establishing herself as the first female exy captain (tho sports is way more valid than the military). plus there’s a lot of emphasis on love and friendship between women that dan is ALL about. also lashana lynch would be a god tier dan wilds fc. Dan could also def have that lawful good Okoye from Black Panther energy. Loyal, disciplined, no-nonsense leader. no powers except discipline. no hair. also danai gurira in 2012 with the dreads and the sword and the cape on TWD was definitely part of my middle school sexual awakening

2. Kevin: Aquaman. this is based pretty much exclusively on the fact that jason momoa is my #1 kevin fc and also that Pasifika kevin is phenomenal and mandatory, actually. otherwise i think he has a decent amount of stick-up-the-ass cyclops energy. or dick grayson nightwing energy but i don’t have any evidence for why. kinda looks like him tho

3. Andrew: andrew gets the most characters bc he’s my favorite. i think ur jessica jones instincts are absolutely correct, both in her storyline (i only watched the first season) and her powers. i’ve seen some powers au and the tendency seems to be giving andrew like,, psychic powers or the like, and i don’t really agree. andrew is a very direct character. he’s pragmatic, he confronts problems head on, and he doesn’t muck about in details. to me this really translates best into physical powers like super strength that help u big punch straight thru all ur problems. also i def think andrew would be not just a solo hero but a mercenary (or a detective) because he’s not altruistic enough to be a standard vigilante. he doesn’t care enough about other people to hang out on rooftops all night waiting for Crime to occur. there’s a price for that.  which brings us to the NEXT andrew hero: deadpool. maybe in personality more of a drugged andrew but the superpowered mercenary is really a perfect fit for andrew. also, healing powers have a decidedly tragic poetry to them on andrew. already he’s self-destructive, if he had a healing factor his concern for his own well-being would be so beyond rock bottom it’d be in the earth’s core. even worse when you remember that with a healing factor, as opposed to indestructibility, you still feel all the pain. which brings us to Wolverine and X-23, who have the same thematic points as deadpool but are much more of a personality match and they have knife hands, which i really think andrew would appreciate. ending that sadness train and onto another tho, andrew’s aesthetic and Vibes fit the Winter Soldier just SO well (just that movie tho, not really civil war or anything past that) and a reinterpretation of the captain america story using the twinyards would be incredibly interesting. and finally, one last hero that would work really well for andrew: rogue, only remove the angst around not being able to touch people, andrew would love that. one touch and their comatose? baller. don't fucking touch him.

4. Matt: Shazam. I didn’t see the shazam movie but my dad and brother did and they said it was very funny and all the trailors looked like it had a lot of fun himbo energy and i really think that fits. in terms of matching himbo disaster energy i think i’ve heard good things about comics hawkeye (not mcu). thor?

5. Aaron: Mr. Fantastic. now this might be a stretch but aaron is a character who uses a skin-deep veneer of anger to cover the fact that he’s actually quite pliant and bends to other people’s wills. and he’s a doctor or w/e. he could alse be like,, antman. he’s smart right? hank pym not paul rudd. katelyn can be wasp

6. Seth: Arm Fall Off Boy. no i will not elaborate.             ..... ugh fine, but i'm using my favorite piece of superhero media of all time: x-men evolution, the one where they're all teenagers in public high school. seth can be lance alvers/avalanche who’s a bit of a jerk and has a lot of issues with authority and has a rivalry with cyclops very reminiscent of seth with kevin, but still there’s the recurring theme that he’s lashing out because of low self-esteem and a bad situation and he’s a surprisingly sympathetic character who i’m very fond of. his power is earthquakes but i think the name makes that pretty self-explanatory

7. Allison: Iron Man. cocky, bitchy, and rich rich rich. sounds like allison to me. then to elevate it a level higher: emma frost, rich bitch extraordinaire. also if allison had telepathic powers she would be unstoppable. plus one more bitchy, morally-gray blonde (but chaotic this time): Harley Quinn

8. Nicky: Okay so I do wanna give a quick shout-out to Northstar, the first openly gay comicbook superhero, who’s a speedster which I’d actually say fits Nicky pretty well. However, if i had to choose a superhero to represent nicky in presence and powers it would have to be Jubilee from x-men (... from what i’ve heard lol. i’ve never actually consumed any of her Media hahaha anyway) she’s a joyful, energetic presence and her powers are setting off fireworks which i think is a good balance of nicky being a supportive cousin-parent AND a chaotic train wreck garbage trash man. also gonna throw in johnny storm for a cheap 'flaming' joke

9. Renee: Thunder/Blackbird from Black Lightning bc she’s a fufkin lesbian lol. (i don’t watch the show but i do follow nafessa williams’s tag). now the fr ones i’m gonna do together because to me they have the same Vibes so i chose them for the same reasons. Wonder Woman and Storm who to me have the same  reserved, impartial, regal energy. honestly ethereal and somewhat otherwordly, and quite literally goddesses. also op as hell.  black widow and her “red in my leger” looking for redemption story also fits thematically.

10. Neil: okay lazy answer first: the flash or quicksilver. get it? because they run fast? and neil run too? yea i like to think i've proven myself to be better than such a surface level interpretation but worth the mention ig. so for srs now, mystique and her shape changing powers would be an interesting interpretation of neil's identity issues, but i wanna push it a step further. nightcrawler would actually be possibly the MOST interesting hero to apply to neil 1. because powers still very movement go fast place to place 2. because of the thematic focus on neil's unusual looks and the lengths he goes to hide them, very much in line with the way nightcrawler will use a hologram-projector in order to look human, yet in both cases it's only a surface-level illusion, and 3. his parentage. here, mary would be mystique, which i also think works very well considering mary seemed to be the far more effective chameleon on the run than neil, and also fits with her place as a morally grey character, as mystique herself is often a villain or an antagonist, with her own agenda and shadowy motives. then nathan matches well with nightcrawler's father: azazel, a literal demon, and also where kurt gets his appearance. it's a shockingly coherent narrative between the three of them. then, to also give neil some powers that aren't contingent on his fucked up geneology and rather on his own merit and abilities, Black Canary and her sonic voice parallel the way that neil began to anchor his identity and take ownership over himself through his voice and his sick roasts

and 1 extra, wymack: batman, on account of his altruism, his dedication to second chances, and his many, many adopted children

---

anon, ik it's been a sec since you sent this, so i hope it gets back to you. i had a fun time with it and it prompted like,,, 7 different au s that i'll never write

#Anonymous #txt #the foxes #im talkin #my posts

[avenger-hawk]

totally not Nar related rant under readmore. feel free to skip

My father became mentally ill as he got older. He’s like a clock, functioning or malfunctioning depending on the time of the day, and there’s no medicine that really works. But this is not the point of my rant.

The point is that some of his crazy behavior pattern, like taking one little random event and making it bigger and crazier until he can make a scene out of nothing and have everyone’s attention with his paranoid stories where he’s the victim of who knows which conspiracy, remind me of the crazy tumblr person who made my online life hell for like 2 years, more or less after the nar ending.

It’s been a lot since it’s over but sometimes I still remember how much time and energy that b*tch took from me, lying about herself and her life, trying to put me against my friends online and offline, using nar characters as comparisons for me, her, others, and manipulating me completely.

Tbh the fault is mine, because I sensed that something was off since the beginning, but I felt alone cause my friends and I had taken different paths in life, and my bf from back then was...huh..complicated, and even tho the more I interacted with that person the weirder vibe I got, I still did it because I was stupid and curious and my INTJ’s NI was kinda tingling with ‘what if’ lolol but it’s wrong and manipulators, narcissists and psychopaths should be isolated immediately. Also I didn’t realize that she was like this, only later, when I cut her off my life (and I had to deal with her insults in private emails and chat, not to mention her veiled insults in her tags) I started reading about this kind of people and understood.

Anyway, now that I see my father making his scenes, even tho he’s mentally ill with a totally different problem, I see her pattern of behavior and wow. I wouldn’t have wanted my father to get crazy earlier than he did but I kinda wonder if I would have been more prepared in this case. I would have saved more than 2 years of my life, because some ppl drain you so much that even turning the computer off and going out isn’t enough.

#hawk out #personal #meet the creeper