happy new years eve everyone! here's an overly-personal post of me reflecting on 2023 ✨
have i ever told you guys that i had no idea ofmd was a queer show when i first started watching it? i really didn't know the first thing about it-- i'd never even seen a picture of stede in my life. it took me almost three weeks to veeery gradually get through the first three episodes. i enjoyed them, but only felt like tuning in during dinner on weekends. i've been around fandom spheres for twelve years but i've never been part of a big fandom myself (or of any fandom that wasn't related to video games or, well, anime). certainly didn't think that would change anytime soon. yet suddenly, a mere three weeks before the start of season 2, i heard the words "you wear fine things well" and all the circuits in my brain were reset
2023 had definitely been a suboptimal year for me until then-- devastating natural disasters, personal losses, deep political problems, the uszh. not to mention the terrible injustices and wars happening around the world. i tend to protect myself from negative thoughts and fear by letting hyperfixations consume me (as i'm sure many people can relate) and boy did ofmd do the job! especially with the excitement of s2... i didn't even realize when october came to an end, it just flew by! i excitedly watched every episode as soon as they came out, made some silly posts on this blog that i'd randomly decided to make... yes, the fandom has its fair share of problems, and i see annoying takes in my twitter fyp basically every day, but eh, i've seen (and been in) worse communities. my experience has been lovely! i love all the beautiful fan art, gifsets and meta posts here. people are so passionate, which only makes my passion grow stronger. i really appreciate it.
unsurprisingly, i've consumed basically everything you can possibly consume that features rhys/the new zealand gang (i've become a diehard fotc fan too). sorry for the sudden dark turn but a really close friend of mine tragically passed away the day after my birthday in november. i don't think i would've moved on with my life if it wasn't for the very welcome distraction provided by these series. especially ofmd of course
ofmd isn't just a silly fun comedy show, it isn't just a love story, at least not to me. it's the story of a man who's spent his life feeling lost, left out, left behind, unwanted, unloved, unneeded. a middle-aged gay man stuck in aristocracy who, for some reason, i can deeply relate to as a young queer person stuck in the middle east. it's the story of people like me freely and unapologetically being themselves, fighting to live their lives filled with joy and love, even in less-than-ideal conditions. it's given me a lot of strength and hope when i needed it. i would've had a much worse memory of 2023 in my mind if it hadn't been for ofmd
so yeah. 2023? not a huge fan! glad it's over! but i'm really glad ofmd was part of it!! i'll remember the past four months fondly, i'll keep loving the series for many months to come and i'll hopefully enjoy a third season with other fans. i'm excited! i hope 2024 will be better for everyone
thank you all!!
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dungeonFebruary: a retrospective
here they are, all four maps edited together into a single dungeon over two floors!
it was a lot of fun to draw it, highlights (of both rooms and monsters) and further thoughts under the cut :D
first things first; some rooms
(you might need to click on each picture to read/see the whole thing)
just some personal favorites, rooms 15, 21, and 25 are stolen from references to stuff (if you recognize what: <3), 6 and 20 were both really fun to put together, and room 29 is the last possible trap of the dungeon :3
next up; monsters!
the first two are room spesific, the latter three random encounters, hence the numbers being written different, picking out just 5 to share was kinda hard, but im really happy with theese, yet again some of theese are stolen from inspired by stuff
now; for my thoughts on this whole thing
i had a lot of fun drawing and designing this, so much so that im kinda sad to be done, the ritual of sitting down to draw each day or to catch up on a few days was nice, and i really like designing silly little rooms and filling them with references i know my players wont pick up on
i might pick this format back up for a month or two this year and im Definetly doing dungeon25 next year, but im really happy i did this instead of trying to catch up on dungeon24 in full, doing it this way let me figure out stuff like how i want to format my notes for a larger dungeon, how many extra notebooks ill need (one for ideas and one beastiary, for now), and some general design rules for myself
all in all if you have read this far and think it looks kinda fun i say go for it! you dont need to follow a spesific month/year, thats just something i feel like doing, the point is to have a little creative challange to do each day for a set amount of days :D
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(quick clarification: this post is specifically about neurodivergent transmeds refusing to use people's neos out of an apparent disrespect and using their neurodivergence as an excuse to legitimately be mean. feel free to add more stuff onto this in the replies!)
hey guys don't mean to be queer on main but i think people using their neurodivergency as an excuse to misgender people isn't ok actually.
i've seen stories of quite a few people who use the fact that they have ADHD (or some other condition that may cause memory issues) and can't remember things well as an excuse to "forget" someone's neopronouns, even after being asked by that person multiple times to refer to them with those pronouns. this isn't ok on so many levels.
first of all, i think it's incredibly guilt-trippy to make someone feel bad about accidentally being ableist by expressing themselves, when in reality, they haven't done anything wrong at all. using funky and obscure pronouns is not ableist in any way just because some people might have issues remembering them, and i think the take that neopronouns are ableist, especially for that reason, is an incredibly ridiculous and purely situational excuse to be mean.
that's like if someone told you their name, and then you got mad at them for using that name because you struggle to remember it and you demanded them to use a name that's easier and more convenient for you to use, rather than the name that the other person feels comfortable with. that's not an accommodation, that's just being an asshole.
second of all, some neurodivergent people (such as autistic people for example) struggle with change and complex concepts like language and pronouns. it's hard to get used to using neopronouns or someone changing their pronouns sometimes, especially when it happens for the first time because you're so used to it. however. finding change hard is NOT an excuse to misgender someone for your own comfort. someone's deeply personal identity should not be the cost of your own convenience, and refusing to acknowledge and respect that identity by not doing the bare minimum that is using their pronouns is incredibly close-minded and harmful.
third of all, the way someone chooses to express themselves is literally none of your business. someone uses pronouns that are confusing and seem grammatically incorrect to you? none of your business. someone's using "stereotypical" pronouns that "make the queer/autistic community look silly"? not your problem. we're all a little silly.
if you're neurodivergent and you find neopronouns, or any pronouns, difficult to remember or understand, here are some tips you can try instead of being mean:
make a fun little chart of people's names, their pronouns and how to pronounce them (ex. Name | Pronouns | Pronounce)! colour code them, use stickers and drawings, anything that will help you remember which pronouns someone uses. stuff like whiteboards and docs can work well for people who frequently change their pronouns or have a lot of them. making the chart fun, personalised and memorable can help a lot with memory issues for a lot of people.
try practising saying or typing their pronouns, whether that's in the mirror or in group chats. there's some really good pronoun dressing room websites that help illustrate how to use more obscure pronouns in conversation.
feel free to ask people! if you can, ask them what their pronouns are and how to pronounce them. i'm sure they will not be mad and will gladly help you learn :) (though please remember to not out someone and their pronouns if they are in an unsafe place. make sure they feel comfortable first before asking/telling someone about their pronouns because some spaces can be really bigoted and unsafe unfortunately.)
make a character that has neopronouns! making an OC that you get attached to can help you familiarise yourself with the concept and referring to that character frequently with their pronouns!
hopefully this is helpful. if you end up seeing anyone in the neurodivergent community use their neurodivergence and an excuse to misgender someone, please block them and don't start an argument. bigotry will not be tolerated in this community or on my blog.
disclaimer: this post is NOT saying that having memory issues/issues with change makes you a bad person, nor does it make you intentionally ignorant and rude. this post is specifically about people who willfully refuse to respect and use someone's correct pronouns on the basis that they're neurodivergent and find them confusing, and choose to intentionally misgender people for their own comfort/convenience.
edit: also!! i should add that this post isn't saying that nd people who legitimately find neopronouns as a concept difficult to grasp (such as people with learning disabilities) are bad people either! that was something i didn't think of when writing this because this post is more about neurodivergent transmeds/transphobes i've seen in the queer and nd communities specifically, but yeah!! i think accommodations absolutely should be made if a neurodivergent person finds themselves having communication difficulties related to neopronouns because some disabled people actually cannot use them. for extra clarification i have added a disclaimer at the beginning of this post. (thanks to @zolf for pointing this out in the notes)
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maybe it's just me, but i feel like i'm seeing a lot of posts lately where a reblog complains that the post has been marked with a "mature content" community label, with the implication that this is Unjust, and i'm like.......yeah? that feels reasonable for this post?
"mature content" does not mean "this post is Bad and Wrong," it just means it, like, talks about or depicts sex-related stuff in some detail. if your post is about sex or kink or something and it gets a mature content label, that's not persecution, that's just...a label. so it can be filtered by people who want to filter that stuff (and people who don't can turn the setting off).
i am willing to believe that the community labels are being applied disproportionately, and some things that maybe should have labels are getting by because they're more socially normative while queer stuff/etc is more strongly enforced. and if so, that's a problem. but that's a different problem than "someone put a mature content label on my post that talks about sex, which means they think it's Bad and Wrong"
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