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anonymousredactedconfessions · 2 months

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@ 🤠🐸

yall rly just are not getting what i had said in my original ask at all. like none of yall understand.

first of all, i can complain about it. thats what i did. i complained about it. let me explain this in a way that can make sense as to why im so upset about it.

imagine that regularly, every month for 2-3 years, you are given a piece of candy. now all of a sudden, youre being forced to pay for the candy. why do you have to pay for the candy? its always been free before so why now? it cant be because of a financial crisis, because the person supplying you has a steady income and makes more money than you have or probably will see in your whole life. i think its pretty fucking fair to be upset about it.

i dont expect it to change, i dont expect anyone to do anything about it. i dont expect everyone to understand, but god fucking damn it, i have grown up having even basic human fucking needs deprived of me because money is stupid and evil and yeah, yanno what, i think im entitled to being a little upset when yet Another Thing is being taken from me because i cant afford to give a rich white man money. no its not serious, i get that. but i dont know why me voicing that im upset about something automatically makes me childish and immature and apparently, according to past responses, a fucking loser who has no friends.

idk man. money is the root of all evil or whatever and i hate paying for art in general because its stupid that anyone even has the need to charge money for art or slap any kind of monetary value on it. i get that it sounds like im whining, but the way that i look at it, this kind of feeling for me runs a lot deeper than “i cant have my favorite content bc it costs money”

its very much a “its stupid that anyone should have to pay for these kinds of things because art shouldnt be monetized period but we live in a world where its Needed and that pisses me the fuck off because I HATE MONEYYYYYY I HATE ITTTTTT “ kind of thing lmao

like yall know how everyone is mad at streaming services for making you pay more for less shit when it used to be included in what you get??? its the same kind of vibe for me. why would i ever pay money for something that was free for half its existence or whatever lmao

idk i dont think anyone will really understand unless you grew up the way i did. its cool. its whatever. just maybe dont fucking attack me for complaining about financial situations/the ridiculous roundabout ways i have to go about getting shit that used to be free.

im not even mad about Erik himself being the one to do it. im mad that anyone does it. you should not force anyone to pay for shit that used to be free. shit should not cost more after time goes on. because none of it makes any fucking sense and money is stupid and grrrrrer whateverrrrrrr whateverrrrr it doesnt mattererrrrrrrr (thx to mod priest for putting up with all this btw love u dude, ur a pillar in this community truly and u see some of the worst shit that this fandom says and big props to you. i wont be commenting on this any further just for your sake tbh. much love, thank you for everything you do dude)

-⚡️🩸

(thanks ⚡🩸 anon 🥺. Thats very sweet of you ❤️ love u too dude)

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #confessions #the priest speaks

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cod-ww2-aimbot-download-nn · 2 years

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cod-ww2-aimbot-download-dr · 2 years

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years

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#okay so ive been super stressed about money lately right #im always stressed about money but thats not the point here #part of the reason i was stressed was because i had a car that i was paying off and expensive insurance for it #it amounted to like. $600 a month with both of those #whoch doesnt seem like a lot but then i have $600 a month rent and a loan and various other ridiculous things #money is the worst thing in the world and it shouldnt exist #but thats not important #insurance payed off most but not all of my car loan which was very stressful because now i was paying for a car that i didnt even have #the entire ordeal was stressful #oh the reason i dont havhave the car is because i crashcrashed. maybethats important context #but i looked at the money owed on the car loan and. its only $750 total #thats two payments and then im done #and my insurance will be lower for my new car #ill be done with car payments andand have lower insurance and maybe ill finally be able to save some money #instead of constantly being on the edge of homelessness #im almost there. im almost there. two moremore months.

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th3okamid3mon · 4 years

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Spies in disguise, weirdly wholesome (Spoilers)

This movie was so freaking weird. I thought Blue Sky Studios was so dead, the only movie I´ve seen from them was Ice Age and Robots, and Ice Age went downhill after the 3rd movie. But this??? This could be their revival.

Sinopsis:

Lance Sterling is one of the best spies in the agency. He loves his job and does it really well but when a bad guy starts harming different people across the world using his face, Sterling has to clear up his name in any way possible with the help of a young scientist called Walter Beckett. Problem is, though, the same scientist tried a very complex experiment on him by accident which result on him turning into something everybody hates: a pigeon.

Animation:

I´m sure Blue Sky has made more animated movies than just Ice Age, but being completely honest I literally only knew that one. I loved that movie, I also like Robots, but the rest they´ve made aren´t as striking to me.

As an animation studio they know what they are doing, it is really good. The details in the water and rocks, all the backgrounds? They all look awesome!

It´s no Klaus though. In comparison to other movies, this is pretty much blends with the rest of the CGI movies there exist. Ice Age and Robots had a very distinctive style, but this one? This looks like something Pixar would do (they kind of went a bit downhill, Toy Story 4 was not needed and The Incredibles 2 felt off and incomplete, animation was fine, writing meh. I hope Onward and Soul are better. Fingers crossed.) I also thought Dreamworks made it. It´s not very... original as in the style of the animation.

The lighting was cool as hell!! The first scene in Japan WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME. It had amazing highlights and it was perfect blend in the atmosphere. The darks werent so obscure you couldnt see anything and when a certain light hit the character it was a great contrast.

The design of the characters were really great, the background characters looked kind of the same though. It was like the main characters were anime protagonists in this case, not only because of the design but because they use more striking and hotter colors in them while the background characters had really opaque palettes.

Story and Characters:

So.. Disclaimer: Spy movies taken seriously is not my thing. I HATE Mission Imposible. I HATE JAMES BOND 1, 2, 3, INIFINITE WHATEVER. I hate them, they are boring and the main characters are worst than Superman (Who, by the way, I also HATE. not the animated one, just the live action one. LIKE BATMAN I HA-). That´s because they portray them as all mighty, powerful, type of card of all traits. Making them too useful and too able makes it boring and it makes you question Why do they even have a freaking team with them?

In this case you have the all mighty, hella cool and able Lance Sterling. He works alone, he is able to do everything and anything, right? Well, at least he is charismatic and such. Of course you have to add something to him so he isn´t just a cocky super human spy. What do you do? GIVE. HIM. AN. OBSTACLE. AND. MAKE. IT. HILARIOUS. Thank god this is comedy.

It was a really weird premise for the super spy to become a pigeon. From all animals, a Pigeon? Uh... Yeah, sure? This director and writer do know how to make this shit work. And BOI was this really interesting.

So it goes like this: Sterling goes against a bad guy who isn´t even the main bad guyTM. He does his cool fighting montage during which POOF, GLITTER! Glitter..? Da fuq? And he rolls with it because if he doesn´t he COULD DIE. (I know there´s the flashback montage for Walter at the beginning but bare with me). He gets the briefcase, which had a very dangerous and powerful machine which in spanish is called LITERALLY ASESINO (MURDERER) , LA-DI-DA-DI-DA he goes back to the agency and... The briefcase is empty and some agent comes all of the sudden and has some recording where it is shown HE stole it and killed some guys in Japan with it.

But he escaped, relax.

Now, previously he had fired Walter because he got into Sterling´s things and put the glitter bomb, which actually did his purpose: distract and make everyone happy.

Walter is actually a curious character to me. He has good intentions, he just wants to make a safer world and all his inventions in comparison to the rest are to minimize damage and to protect not only the spies but also the villains. Now days we have characters who are mostly all in favor to not kill, because killing is wrong. It´s not a new thing, its a pretty old concept, but it is mostly seen in TV shows (at least from the movies I´ve seen, even if the hero doesn´t want to kill, the villain still ends up dead somehow). From all the movies I´ve seen, there were several that didn´t killed the villain but... I didn´t like them at all because the villain didnt even made sense (IM LOOKING AT YOU FROZEN 1 AND THE INCREDIBLES 2, FUCKING WASTE OF MONEY AND VILLAINS, SO HELP ME GO-)

I dont know why Walter stick to me so much more than any other characters in other movies. His motivations were always for the greater good even as a kid. The biggest inspiration in his life was and is his mother, and I think because of her dead that motivation became even stronger. His whole personality and genuine care into his work to help others leaks in everything he does. It´s in your face, ALL THE TIME, but in a good way? It isnt at the point of being annoying, it´s weird how they manage to make such a nice character with certain points that are quirky without making him annoying.

Ok, back to the story without spoiling much and going to the point, they both start working out how Sterling as a pigeon can do his spy work and Walter works on an antidote while also helping Sterling with the spy work. Question: Is it original? I dont know. Does it matter? No.

Look, the concept of a character turning into something is not really original and as spy movies we all KNOW in all 9 levels of Mictlan that Spy theme movies are not original at all. Spy Kids? That was slightly more original than any other spy movie I ever seen AND I LOVED IT. The important manner here is and will always be the characters which... Well... Will Smith acted as Will Smith, or well.. I watch in spanish... wait...

Ok, I already knew Mario Filio was the official Will Smith voice Actor...

HOLY SHIT, EMILIO TREVIÑO IS MILES MORALES TOO?!?!?

Where was I...? Ah, yeah.

As a plot, it had pretty much a lot of dark themes and several heavy spots. For example: The talk between Will- I MEAN Sterling and Walter in the boat, where they talk about how to fight the villain we saw a bit more of them. We already knew the motivation for Walter, but Sterling? The cocky cock has feelings? WHO WOULD´VE KNOWN! He really doesnt want people to get killed and it gets to him, because that form limits him a lot. Walter is so stress too, they both want the best for the people and they argue but in a manner that makes it a bit heavy. Walter is still young and too dreamy, Sterling has worked in the battle field, he tells Walter you have to fight fire with fire and doing it Walter´s way is not gonna work because bad people doesnt care about the good people. Walter replies that there are no good or bad, only people. (UM... I HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM WITH THAT?? But I will discuss it later.)

There some scenes i did not expect to get emotional and it quickly returns to comedy but not as awkwardly as I would thought. It´s a fun movie, if it wants too it gets a tad heavy and if it wants to it becomes extremely dumb. It´s a weird blend, the concept is super dumb but the plot and the characters teaches you certain things like: People still get hurt even if you acted with the best intentions. Sometimes to solve a problem you need to think in another way. Kindness is a powerful weapon. And most importantly: Weird is good.

Conclusion:

So... It was a really fun movie. Weirdly wholesome, weirdly good! Pretty good actually, it didn´t get me much as other movies but it did stick to me. It has good animation, the characters are enjoyable and charismatic, the super good boi is Walter MY GOD, HE DESERVES THAT JOB HE GOT. Sterling is a good pal once he sees the value in Walter. That part with the egg was strange but Walter made it have sense and they both rolled with it and it was pretty cool.

Now, the messages are good. I understand people are people and such. You shouldnt kill because its wrong. I mean, the villain DID kind of had second thoughts after Walter saved him from falling after turning the droid off, which was SO COOL TO HAVE KILLIAN LOOK LIKE THAT. He didn´t had to say shit, just that look of ¨Huh... That kid did save me even after I tried to kill him...¨ Yes, give me more shown not tell. THIS MOVIE HAD A LOT OF SHOW NO TELL, THANK YOU.

Still, bad people not always want to change. Some bad people stay bad, and sometimes we will have to fight back. We had movies like The Incredibles 2 or Steven Universe: The Movie shown what should we do and what happens to the villains. They had a backstory, they had their motives, as heartbreaking their backstories were what they did was wrong and at least one of them in those examples were punished for their wrongdoing. Steven in the movie fought back instead of getting himself hurt.

In this movie, the villain was kind of kept a mystery, his backstory wasn´t a flashback or anything, it was told by the character but I think that was a good thing because the pain in his eyes and the anger he felt leaked from his explanation to Sterling. Even when he was explicitly a bad guy from the beginning, before even the movie started, we can see that those bad guys, in fact, are people too, and as the good people they can get hurt too because they have families, friends, pets, interests, hobbies and more. Walter does have a point, they are just people so we shouldn´t kill them. I guess the problem I have with the saying ¨There´s no good or bad, just people¨ is that the people who do bad things, people like Killian, they hurt and murder so many people and I am not fine with those kind of people. I say Eye for an eye, but then again ¨Eye for an Eye and everyone gets blind¨.

I dont know why or how they manage to get somehow complex in movie where a person LITERALLY TURNS INTO A FEMALE PIGEON. Oh, yeah, by the way. Sterling becomes a female pigeon because Walter uses a feather of his female pet pigeon.

I had low expectations and came out impressed and howling with laughter even after getting home. I do recommend this movie for his whole ridiculousness and for his weird but wholesome character development, bonding, different characters and final message.

Weird is good and we need weird to make the world a better, safer place.

-Sincerely weird, T.O.D

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ruffiorocks · 5 years

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unpopular opinion (long post)

This might be unpopular but its irking me a little bit, im actually completely OK with Lena punching Kara in the face.

Its not so much that Kara kept her identity a secret, that on its own doesn't warrant a smack or a punch (if they had been dating then it absolutely would) because that’s beyond disturbing behaviors,

No for me its, as i’ve mentioned before the way that Kara treated her as Supergirl, especially in season 3.

Now yes Kara has been lovely to Lena as Supergirl, the same as Lena has to her. they have actively saved each others arses on more than on occasion.

BUT season 3 and 4 gave us a look at what Kara can be like when she feels her authority is being questioned. Kara was instantly p**sed at Lena for daring to keep Reign a secret, no regard for WHY just accusations. Honestly why Kara was there while they interrogated Lena is beyond me, she doesn't actually have a DEO rank? But whatever. She instantly got p**sed that Lena had some leftover kryptonite (we know she made it) and immediately took it as threat, even though Lena IS her best friend. What irked me the most about season 3 was that Kara didn't really give a lot of thought to Sam, in her beef with Lena it was always Kara, Kara, Kara. The fact that Lena did all of this FOR SAM to protect her went completely over Kara’s head.

Kara also got p**sed that Lena dared to have tech that she didnt know of or approve of. Lena literally told Kara that the force field on Reign’s cell prevented Kryptonian’s looking through it, so what was the first thing Kara does? Why she tries to look through it and gets p*ssed that it caused a bit of pain. She instantly rounded on Lena and saw something SHE personally could nosy through as a threat. I mean Lena could literally just have used this so she wouldn't be spied on in the shower by passing Kryptonian’s. Just because Kara does have X Ray vision doesn't mean shes entitled to be able to see everythong (*cough* Batgirl *cough*) This scene was basically like telling someone not to put their hand in the fire because it will burn, only for them to instantly do it and then get upset with you for built the fire in the first place.

I was beyond happy that Lena brought Kara down a peg or two, ive said it before but Kara is rarely seriously questioned by anyone and it seems to have gone to her head. Kara’s authority is mostly what shes bestowed on herself, much like Superman.

But anyway, Kara seems to have realized she’s been a colossal ass and jumped to conclusions, because she has a really awkward exchange with Lena and says she hopes it wont ruin their friendship. See my issue here is that Kara thinks she can attack Lena but because she has had a change of heart its still all good? yeah... no. Lena tells her what for again, poor love tells her she has friends that trust her, not knowing the very woman she is referring to is the same woman shes talking to.

Kara then gets pissed that Lena gives Kara whats ‘left’ of the kryptonite. I mean you were upset she had it and now you’re upset shes giving it to you? Once again the fact that this could help her fight Reign and save Sam when she and the others have spectacularly failed goes over her head and she attacks Lena again, who quite rightly tells Kara that lots of things in the world could hurt her but she goes on with life and doesn't whine about. Kara seems to think that NOTHING on Earth should ever be allowed to exist that could hurt her or any other Kryptonian completely forgetting recent Kryptonian attacks, one of which she did herself oh and the current one. This is pretty God like behavior. She also doesnt have issues with DEO having weapons that can hurt other aliens, as long as it isn't her. Kara even pulls the ‘Luthor’ card on Lena. Note through all this its always Kara who has the issue with Lena, Lena has no issues with Supergirl until she attacks her.

Kara thinks she has the authority to tell Lena she isnt coming to the dark valley to try and save her friend Sam, i mean why is Kara calling the shots here? She does redeem herself a bit when she tells Reign to take her instead of Lena, but honestly? Kara would have done that for literally anyone, this isn't because its Lena.

Lena even returns to the DEO the moment Kara is in danger of dying. Lena has pre-made suit that even has the House of El crest on it!

Remember also, that even after the interrogation, Alex asked Lena to just tell her why she didnt let on about Sam and Alex was absolutely OK with Lena’s explanation and didnt harp on about it, this is Alex Danvers whose life is dedicated to protecting Kara’s.

Kara then did the ONE thing that i thought was so below the belt. She meddled in Lena's relationship and put it at risk. She quite literally went to Lena's boyfriend, a man who not long ago wasn't going to give her the time of day and wanted her in prison no matter what and Lena had to learn to trust, and Kara asked him of all people to betray Lena’s trust. Kara could have asked any DEO agent, but no, apparently James, the one person she SHOULDNT have asked to betray Lena was the only one who would do it? Im sorry Kara you dont do that under any circumstances. Kara is dumb anyway because she trusts James! He literally breaks into L Corp, then he lies to Kara and then drops her in it with Lena? There was NO reason for him to do that, he just wanted the best of both worlds.

Kara gets pissed that Lena dared to make Harun El for anyone other than the mighty Kryptonian’s that have decreed that this substance they dont understand, arent even close to understanding and has the power to keep civilizations alive is NOT allowed to be used for the benefit of humans, but a human is allowed to make it for the benefit of Kryptonians and only kryptonians, Yeah, Argo would be a floating city of dead people if it wasn't for Lena managing to figure something out in about a week that the entire race of advanced scientists o Argo weren't even close to doing. The fact is Kara jumps down her throat again, but this time its Alex that comes to Lena’s defence.

The problem when it comes down to it, is that Kara is too quick to assume the worst in Lena, when she used to be the exact opposite. This is shoddy writing and OOC but unfortunately its what happened. Kara thinks she has authority over all things and the fact is she just doesnt.

Getting James to betray Lena was the worst one for me, and the one that warrants a smack or in this case a punch in the face. If my best friend asked my significant other to betray my trust because she decided she couldn't trust me oh and then acted like she had nothing to do with it while i vented i would think about punching her and if it was the other way round she would probably think the same, and she would justified because that isnt friendship.

Kara was Jekell and Hyde with Lena, she even looked her nose down at her in season 2 when she and Superman landed on L Corp’s balcony to talk to Lena and Lillian, the look Kara gave Lena has stuck with me because it was so superior, like because she was now standing with Superman she had more authority? Was she trying to measure up?

Then there’s the fact that Kara has no issue letting Lena think her ass is in danger, or letting her think shes been blown up!

Kara knows the amount of betrayals Lena has faced, but she just kept on going and it was wrong. If she had no intention of telling Lena and letting her be the only one in her new found family that apparently wasn't trusted enough then she should never have gotten so involved with Lena in the first place.

Kara ignored Lena after Mon El left, then only came to her when she needed her help, essentially her money and her influence. Then once shed asked for it she fobbed off Lena’s attempt to reach out to her. Lena actually does use her power and her own money to save Cat Co and Kara is just like ‘oh ok, but i quit’. It was using Lena and it was harsh, even if Kara did say she would go back. Then you have Kara’s blatant disregard for Lena as a boss.

The fact is Kara picks and chooses her attitude to Lena, she should pick ONE not have multiple personalities, choosing to support her on minute, ignore her the next or accuse her of misdeeds in another.

Now think about what Lena is thinking? Kara lied about who she is, Lena is going to know a Super came to investigate her the moment she arrived in National City, this same super integrated herself into Lena's life and they got close, but Lena is probably wondering why that was now? If Lena had befriended Kara knowing she is Supergirl you know it would have been instantly treated as suspicious. Kara treated her like she was bad even after Lena helped save her and the world several times. Kara used the relationships Lena built against her. Kara acted like she had dull authority over her, she let her think her life was in danger or she was dead more than once. Yeah id be pretty p**sed to.Lena may even wonder why Kara pushed her to date James of all people, someone who wasnt a fan of hers, but then suddenly was? Oh was that so he could stay close to Lena and be used against her? To spy o her? Lena ‘s feeling arent something Kara can just play with depending on how the mood hits her, actions have consequences and treating people like this isnt cool.

Its a lot for Lena to process, and its not like she can ask kara about it, even when Kara knows Lena knows she cant trust the explanations Kara may give her.

If Oliver punched Barry the fans would just be like ‘ahh man! They’ll make it up’

Batman and Superman fight, ‘ahh man! They’ll make up’.

But Lena punches Kara? ‘Oh my God abuse!!’

i dont think Lena is punching Kara because of the secret itself, shes probably punching her because of all the s**t that came along with it.

(if you dont agree fine, but dont send hate)

#supergirl #lena luthor #kara danvers #anti james olsen #anti guardiancorp #supercorp

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misterbitches · 4 years

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I cant decide if I think what happened this episode makes me mad at tae joo.

me @ me...and ppl who may read what i write...lmao: hear me out. i am a black anarchist cis woman so like...not everyone is going to care or think about stuff like this. i realize it may not be the total norm yet (but hey black radicals burned down a fucking police station yesterday which is some real cool history so who is to say that i’m not.) with or without the norms, i share to get a grip of my own thoughts that ADHD absolutely won’t let me keep. and see what people have to say! maybe they’ll engage. otherwise,,,,,,,it doesnt matter i jsut love thinking it through. cos i am CONFUSED!!!

(btw, i insult rich ppl through this whole thing and i dont give a fuck. i repeat a lot of things too o well.)

the start of the ep has these words from tae joo:

i have a young friend. a shadow like being who doesn’t go away even at one o clock. that shadow grew a self. i have to do him the favor...

part of his like and attraction to guk is because of that existing power imbalance. i, personally, think that is impossible to deny given that we see it. a girl coming over to their house and he kisses her. he had to know that guk would see, or would be looking, whatever.

you have tae joo being surprised at interest in guk. not because guk isn’t attractive or whatever, but because he’s used to the one being noticed. he may not be as broad and tall (there’s not a huge difference but guk obviously stands out more visually, while tae joo stands out cos he’s him i guess lol.)

i think there may be an element of this cat and mouse game that he likes, but guk takes it a lot more seriously. as he should because...it’s his job. we don’t know at what point they are so anything that happened previously but they very clearly like each other.

i was gonna say it didn’t even have to be romantic—yet. just that feeling of i don’t need anyone else to take you. i’m curious about why tae joo likes pil hyun but maybe it has something to do with wanting a friend that isn’t necessarily one borne out of necessity. but pil hyun’s dad does work at tae joo’s father’s dumb company or whatever. he’s on the board? idk i forgot

but maybe neither of them really care and pil hyun is just a friend instead of someone you have deep admiration and romantic or strange love for.

but then there’s a lot of cruelly selfish stuff that shows why this imbalance and their two different backgrounds hinders them. tae joo doesn’t want to lose this shadow anyway but guk is always there. where he’s supposed to be.

when tae joo said, “isn’t it boring just the two of us?” it’s just such a dumb fucking question to ask. he was either just being verbally careless or did it on purpose. it can be both, but i don’t think it was supposed to be. for every one side of a you need to see him as a person not a workerr also encourage him to fuckng quit and live your lives together outside of your stupid rich father coin there’s a he obviously wants and needs him as much if not more.

the if not more part comes to mean (to me) dependency formed UPON guk’s job. were they not to be in this circumstance, how would their paths cross?

honestly the show poses a lot of class dilemma for something so short. now is the time to do and write interesting things and question capitalism anyways. tae joo can’t have everything handed to him. well he can have a lot, because he’s privileged to be where he is, but love isn’t one of those things. guk is not obligated to love him fiercely if tae joo can’t truly relinquish his hold.

the last scene pissed me off a lot at first and thinking about it it still does. like you used the master-servant relationship comment and exploited it because you didn’t like it but it’s the truth. what is the point of guk sitting through your bullshit but when you intentionally go seek him out you can insert yourself.

hye mi saying, “hey we’re talking can u wait yr turn” like YEA. they’re talking, you came in and had a fit, and only someone who has a life like you do would do something like that. was guk making noise while you were being tutored?

i also honestly would just quit if i were guk. not every1 is gonna be an annoying anarchist like me or whatever but that’s pretty much the only way this could sustain itself. that and tae joo respecting guk as a person not just a person he loves in his orbit. the world revolves around us as individuals. meaning we think about ourselves in relation to everyone else because we live in this body. so guk is allowed to center himself in his own life.

this could all be avoided if it crossed tae joo’s mind that guk is allowed space to feel whatever his emotions without being dictated. where it isn’t just sparring that he can say whatever the fuck.

so remember the opening. well, here’s the last lines of thought tae joo had in the car: i have a bodyguard a shadow like being that shouldn’t go away even at one o clock. the shadow isn’t supposed to have a self.

he called the shadow his friend. a shadow has no self so when it finds autonomy — as he is finding himself (guk), guk walks ahead of taejoo, faceless with the camera focused on the shadow itself—we finally start to see him as the shadow shows its human form. it’s never been a shadow, guk has always been a person, his own person, it’s just that and this is literally....he is owned by his job. imagine realizing you have the same tendency as your own dad to feel that way (btw this is also with him (guk) getting slapped by his dad and no......nothing)

in the car we see that selfishness that wasn’t buried but he never thought about. guk shouldn’t leave, he should always be behind him, a shadow, he isn’t supposed to dictate his own life, his life must revolve around me. because he’s transient, again. workers are disposable, a dime a dozen, you happen to love this dime but it doesn’t mean you have been able to fight for it or understand it.

tae joo is rich (i don’t know if it’s new or old money and the distinction would matter a little but i’m pretty sure theyve been together for a long while? bitch idk) the boy he loves is employed by his father. his father is a CEO, a boss and truly the worst kind (FIRE! YOUR! BOSS!) tae joo has been told his whole life that he deserves. why fight capitalism and not understand his own richness? it’s beneficial to him and it gave him guk, right?

and you see how allllllllllll of that, the messaging, the receiving, how you get stuck under the influence as a younger person to be stuck under the influence as a complicit adult to the messages of the ruling class. the ruling class you are a part of whether you like it or not, the one that calls labor your own, the one that rips power from other people. you didn’t choose who you were born from and to, but you get to choose what you do now.

guk was never a shadow, you just didn’t see him because, well, he’s your best friend, and your bodyguard, working and being a literal punching bag for your mistakes (AND THAT’S CAPITALISM BABY, THEY RLY TOLD US THAT THERE—”for your mistakes, i’ll beat him and then send you off to england” like gorl...)

(i also want to mention i whole heartedly believe that the rich resent the poor, the ruling class punish the working class, etc but that’s like irrelevant to here mostly...by irrelevant i mean i shouldnt go any fucking deeper than i have with goddamn dumb analysis. but it’s fun kinda)

anyway basically tae joo like made so many mistakes that show just how fucking clueless you can be when you have immense privilege. coupled with guk working for him, he doesn’t realize that guk doesn’t live to work. has his own thoughts and he has feelings man. when guk said “stop” in e3 i was rly happy tbh. yea, they may like each other but doing shit like that isn’t fair to him if you’re gonna go around and be really flighty about everything while he depends on (well maybe not depend must cater to) you almost completely by DEFAULT of u being rich lmao

this is just a look and critique into one side of tae joo. i don’t dislike him but i question why people both in the show and people discussing feeling bad for tae joo’s circumstance instead of asking why guk has to do any of this.....? how does guk fucking feel about this? where are guk’s feelings factored in. like we’re all saying “we pay you so that should be enough.” fuck no. guk do what you want.

if the show was about like....people in love not meeting at the right time in their lives i wouldnt be too upset either. as long as we know their love was deep and romantic it’s okay to see a parting. of course i would prefer not to see that and just want tae joo and guk to grow up to become nice anarchist citizens. guk is an artist and tae joo writes books about his daddy issues or sth like that

#a thot #an unecessary bl thot #ill call these types of posts that #*unnecessary #where your eyes linger #tae joo x gang gook #tae joo #kang guk

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ndjams · 4 years

Text

I wanna talk about my kleptomania

when i first ran away from home i suddenly had access to a lot less money than i was used to, go figure. so i would steal things like food or underwear or cat litter, things i needed. eventually when i kept getting away with it, i kept pushing. every time my friends and i would go out we would end up in a book store or art supply store or something and all my friends knew i would walk out the door with 10 things shoved down my pants or under my jacket. they started asking if i could fit things they wanted, and soon we would just go out into the city for the sole purpose of stealing stuff.

it was all fun and games until i got caught. i was stealing food and a valentines day gift for my boyfriend and a security guard escorted me to the back of the store on my way out the door. my friend was with me so she texted my boyfriend what happened. i thank god that i only got let off with a warning, but my boyfriend was a mess. both of his parents had served time for petty theft so this close call opened a traumatic wound for him and it broke my heart to see. that night i told him i would never steal again.

that was about 2 weeks ago, since then ive stolen from multiple places and it stressed out my boyfriend every time. understandably he felt like i didnt care about him. he is the most important thing in the world to me, every other thing hes told me bothered him, i quit doing because he means more to me than any of the little things i was doing. anything he told me he liked, i would do more because seeing him happy is my favorite thing in the world. it was just this one habit that i've been struggling so hard to break.

i feel stupid for the amount of times ive said im sorry. i meant it every time but when im in a store and see something i want, i take it without thinking about anything other than "huh i could use this". i can see how he would see me taking something as disregarding his fears, and it hurts so much that its so hard for me to stop.

last night was the worst, when he's upset, he'll be quiet for hours so its hard to communicate with him and figure out whats wrong. he was in that mood for almost the whole day and i was trying to tell him how much i love him and how much he means to me and how i want to change but its hard, but he couldnt believe me. that shit H U R T. i know he has a right to be upset, no matter what the reasons are i keep doing something he explicitly told me really upsets him. but being given the cold shoulder by the person i want to marry just burns.

the only reason i didnt relapse self harm last night was because i couldnt find anything sharp in the house. i'm at a loss. i did everything i could last night, i reached out to a close friend whose usually around when we go out and asked her to be like "hey maybe you shouldnt" any time she sees me go to take something. i was researching why kleptomania exists how people have dealt with it etc, but its hard to find any info about it at all.

this morning my boyfriend woke up still upset and i dont know what to do. ive asked for forgiveness so many times that it feels selfish to do it again. i really am dedicated to breaking this habit but unfortunately it takes time. i cant just go up to him right now and say hey im cured i'll never steal again. i need to show him that i can do it but im scared that the next time i walk into a store i wont be able to control myself. again.

i know i can break this habit with time but my boyfriend shouldnt have to be going through all this. i dont think hes gonna break up with me over this but i know hes thinking about it. im his first steady relationship, he's always had issues in the past where when someone starts to mean a lot to him he ends it because he gets scared hes gonna lose them not on his terms. playing this little will i get caught or wont i every time we leave the house is risking me being taken from him not on his terms, so i know hes thinking about ending it himself. also he has told me that when he starts feeling like he should end it, he gets really toxic and cold without even realizing it. i thought i had seen it before but that side of him really showed last night. i couldnt do anything right and everything made him upset towards me. before we went to sleep he had a moment where he realized how he was acting and apologized but it still hurt that my actions were what instigated that shitty few hours.

i'm just scared he wont be able to wait for me to get better. i dont know what i'd do.

#kleptomania #he speaks #long

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karmanticmoved · 5 years

Note

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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votometrash · 5 years

Text

Love Choice Review

Okay so I had no idea Masquerade Kiss would be Love Choice, but this title has managed to tempt me into reading it anyway. I can’t say I’m happy about it but there are a lot of things I have to say, since the whole Love Choice (LC) system has been controversial, or just incredibly detested/undesired, ever since its conception. And it does suck since I’ve been wanting Voltage to release more mature titles (and the whole female spy thing was just a plus, I guess). Voltage did a really good job of hyping up this release and I love/hate them for it lmao. But yeah here are my two cents on the LC feature. Sorry for the longass rant in advance. If you only care about my opinion regarding Masquerade Kiss and Kazuomi Shido’s route then you can check out my review later on my blog (if and when I get to it). But I still mention the title here and there in this review since it is the first LC main story that was released.

For most people who have been with Voltage for a long time, LC is probably one of the worst things on the planet, right after the Love 365 app debacle which caused many to lose their stories if they weren’t aware of the transfer dates or not able to transfer their data (technically they’re losing the right/license to access those stories, cause they don’t own them) and all the other customer service horror stories you can think of. Generally, for people who think that converting coins into hearts and not being able to read the story however they want are terrible ideas, they will outright avoid LC titles/stories. Since LC is F2P, it isn’t much different from the other otome/visual novels that have premium options where people have the option to spend money.

But let’s just think about it for a moment.

The appeal of LC is that you can read the stories completely free of charge. Yes, there is a countdown timer which prevents you from reading the next episode immediately and you would have to spend hearts to bypass that. But let’s keep in mind that Voltage Entertainment USA (aka the subsidiary which creates apps catered towards Western audiences) is also doing something similar with the ticket system. Plus they don’t even give you the option to buy routes anymore, which is why we should be thankful that Voltage Inc hasn’t done that with their Japanese apps yet. I just want to make the best of what we are given (and hopefully try to get a little enjoyment out of it), even if LC is terribly implemented.

So just hear me out for a second. A very long second.

If you’re not one of those people who need every single CG and ending AND don’t mind the wait, this post is mainly for you.

PLEASE JUST READ THE DAMN STORY. LIKE READ MASQUERADE KISS RIGHT NOW WHILE THERE IS NO WAIT TIME (until 2/17). It costs you nothing and you will still get a pretty complete experience. Don’t be stupid and believe that you’re missing out if you don’t get the CG’s. Go look the CG’s up online or something if you have to because I’m sure someone has posted them regardless of whether it’s allowed or not. It has a decent plot that doesn’t make me want to ram my head into a wall from secondhand embarrassment. Sure there are aspects of it that weren’t written well (will be explained in my review later) but it’s still a good story and I don’t regret reading it. It would be a shame to miss out just because you’re too busy hating on the system. If you don’t want to spend your free hearts (or don’t have enough) on CG’s that cost you 20-30 hearts and options that require hearts, just use it towards reading the next couple episodes (for when they go back to subjecting you to wait times). At least you still won’t be using as many hearts. Yeah the CG’s and love choices are hella expensive and they shouldn’t be. It might even feel like you’re being punished for not choosing those choices because in the end you won’t be getting the happy ending. But they’re not NECESSARY. However, if you still want the CG’s/happy endings, just reread it again later when you get enough hearts. I don’t know, that’s not a priority for me so I can wait on unlocking those CG’s.

From Episode 1 up to the second to last episode, you’re getting the same. exact. content. Let me repeat that. YOU GET THE SAME EXACT CONTENT. The only thing is that you won’t get all of the CG’s or the super happy ending, which are what people are really paying for. Is it really worth it??? Voltage apps don’t have bad endings. They’re either the romantic/passionate alternate endings or it’s happy(or normal)/super happy endings. No endings where it’s game over, you’re dead or oops you screwed up this entire thing. You’re essentially getting the same ending, just a slightly different view of the events. Just more vanilla, if you don’t get the “better” ending. Slightly fewer lines of text, less description. Big whoop. That and well, you don’t get the CG. Too bad. No personal bragging rights for me to put on my metaphorical trophy pedestal. For me, reading the visual novel is the main goal. The art and CG’s are just a plus, a very much appreciate plus. I would care more about the plot because if you are reading a terribly written story, what’s the point in having good art anyways? You look at it for a bit and just move on to something else that isn’t a waste of time.

And like....come on. If you hate the LC feature, that’s all the more the reason why you should try it. It won’t even hurt you to read the story if you’re adamant on not spending money/converting coins. Even if it’s terribly written, you didn’t pay for it like you would have with a P2P story. No monetary loss there, just lost time and feelings of disappointment. And if you hate waiting or think LC is a waste of time, just think of reading an episode whenever you have time. You don’t have to commit to it. You could speed read an episode in a minute or two and then go on doing whatever else you want to do with your day. It shouldn’t take up that much of your time. And if you forget to, it’s fine. Not something you’ll be too invested in.

They’re not charging you for anything, so suck it up. I’m sure you have other things you can do in the meantime while you wait for the next episode. Your life doesn’t revolve around otome games (unless you’re adopting an unhealthy lifestyle in which case you have more things to be concerned about). Don’t be a whiny bitch about it. And that’s why the hearts system exists... for the impatient people. They WANT you to spend money on their products, since that’s the whole point of running a business. Yes you’re paying for a one-time access when you’re using hearts to read episodes. Yes you have to start over if you want to reread a specific episode. Ultimately it’s up to YOU to choose whether you want to spend money or not for LC stories, but you don’t HAVE to.

Again, I’m emphasizing the word ‘time’ because if you really don’t have time, then seriously just do whatever you’re supposed to be doing jesus christ. Don’t feel like I’m calling you out for not wanting to read LC stories because you don’t have time to wait around for it. I’m not telling you to prioritize LC over Voltage’s other stuff. Just give it a chance if you can afford to do so, because money isn’t the issue here if you can read the story for free. I know people look towards Voltage apps as a way to relax and so that I understand that reading a LC novel would not be a choice if you have limited time. Because why go for LC if you have perfectly good apps that you’ve already paid for and can read whenever you want? I understand. I really do.

In regards to people complaining about Masquerade Kiss being a LC novel, I have a couple things I want to say. Voltage has the right to choose whichever title they want to be LC. Besides, what criteria do you expect them to use in choosing which titles should be LC? It’s not as if they’ll be like “oh let’s choose an okay title to be Love Choice”, just to make customers glad that they don’t have to waste money. That’s not practical. And ideally they wouldn’t want to be writing shitty stories anyway. They need to make money off them or else it’s a waste of all the money and time they invested into producing the title. For the most part, all the newer titles have been decent, if not good. There will be people who love them and people who hate them. So how would you decide the best choice to be LC among all the good titles? And it wouldn’t make sense to make a title both LC and P2P because that would be when people will REALLY start to hate LC, especially when you have to fork out a ridiculous amount of hearts for the CG’s. Then there will be even more customer complaints yay. Also, if they made it P2P how many coins would they even charge for the whole route, considering how many hearts they have to spend for the CG’s? The CG’s are “free” only if you have enough hearts for those in-game choices that you want to choose, but if you’re paying for them that would mean it’s like $2-$3 per CG.

Since they announced this feature, it’s here to stay unless they decide to get rid of it (which I doubt). YOU DON’T GET A SAY IN IT. Their company, their products, their choices. They will make whatever choices in which they benefit the most from. Sometimes those choices will align with what customers want. Sometimes they won’t. You don’t like it then you leave. That’s what most people would do anyway. Even if you do leave, there will always be more people getting sucked into the Voltage trap anyways. If you don’t, then you will continue to rot in the sin bin that is Voltage and there goes your money. Sadly, that’s how the world works.

So yeah if you’re still reading, thanks for reading my very long winded, unpopular (probably) opinion. You’re a trooper. I have respect for you. I’m just here to get this off my chest. Please don’t hate me.

#review #voltage otome #masquerade kiss #love choice #voltage inc

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Hhhhh if i can raise $500 in a month i could design the new gym teacher character for a sequel to a nostalgic fave game of mine

Aaaaaaaaa

And i'm a little dissappointed that even though the first game literally awakened me to the whole concept of being genderqueer they still arent gonna have any actual genderqueer characters. That kinda sucks cos seriously that goddamn two sentence mention of different pronouns existing fuckin EXPLODED MY MIND and led me down a whole road of self discovery. A bit sad to know it was a big deal for me but maybe not for the writers. Oh well!

...so man i kinda wanna throw $500 bucks at them and be like PERHAPS..CONSIDER...A NONBINARY ANYONE. Like i dont even have an idea for a character yet lol! Only being able to pick the gym teacher is a bit specific so none of my past oc ideas would work. But can i just throw money at people to let them know that nonbinary people play their games and we're enough of a market to maybe add like one npc somewhere or something? Seriously just those two sentences were worth so much to someone struggling as a teen, can you imagine how many more young queer kids could feel that "oh god im not broken" moment if there were more characters like them? And i mean things have actually progressed a lot since the first game came out. We now have a lot more commonly accepted genderqueer pronouns! The first game was pretty ahead of its time for raising the subject but it talked about old 1970s scienceman pronouns and stuff. (Tho lol a part of me wishes the spivak set would become more popular just cos it was my first introduction to the topic)

I dunno man am i asking too much? Am i just projecting onto this game cos i played the first game during a dark time in my life? Ehh..

Anyway if i can't do HERE 500 DOLLA PLZ PUT ONE ENBY STUDENT IN THE BACKGROUND then i'd maybe do this gym teacher thing? I was thinking just.. A nice person. Some big bubbly happy teacher who doesnt have any form of grumpiness or avtually-kinda-manipulative-behind-a-false-facade. Just cos these poor kids deserve at least one teacher they can trust, lol! Also cos gym teachers are often the most stereotyped as grumpy bastards out of all teachers forever. Itd be nice to imagine an ideal world where gym lessons arent the worst part of every week and like.. Actually goddamn help kids stay healthy or enjoy sports, instead of being just a boiling pot of abusive army seargeant teacher and every bully getting free reign to smack you about. Just gimme a nice buff teacher whose muscles are strong for hugging and supporting everyone! Oh and maybe their character flaw could even be that they're too nice? Like sort of an ironic thing of the gym teacher being strong physically but emotionally a "wimp". They're sort of seen as dumb muscle and not taken seriously by the kids, but half of the time their funny "naive" moments are just them being too trusting of everybody. Its easy to spin some sob story and ditch class! I think that'd line up well with how gym class goes in the first game, wher eyou never see the teacher and it seems that the bully kids are making all the decisions about the lessons. Like i could see the gym teacher caving in to stuff like "we dont wanna excercise at all we're just gonna use magic to move the ball" if they were kind of a doormat. And maybe could even have a plotline where its like.. Dark consequences from this? Like you're getting bullied and the gym teacher basically becomes your enemy despite being good natured, cos they keep falling for the bully's side of things and not believing you. Or tehy try and be all "lets look at both sides of this" when there really isnt a second side, or their way of dealing with conflict in general is to completely ignore it with some overly optimistic and utterly flawed sort of "just talk about your feeeelings" hippy crap. And in the end you could call them out on how their attempts to "be nice" are shortsighted and hurting people worse than intentional cruelty ever could. And really they're not even a "nice person" but just someone terrified of conflict, who's willing to sacrifice their morals whenever anything gets too difficult. It could potentially be a really good plotline cos the player might get to trust this teacher and like their goofy comic relief personality and then they betray you when you need it the most. And its even more crushing because its not them being an intentional fucko like the other jerk characters, its just them deciding you arent important enough to take the risk of standing up for you. And maybe it could indeed have a good ending of this teacher atoning for their shittiness, but that'd also mean they decide they really arent prepared for being a teacher and shouldnt be in this position of authority over children. So they resign and that leads to the situation in the first game where gym class is just the kids being left alone to fuck around with a bag of basketballs for two hours. Alas! (But yknow if the writers liked the character and wanted to bring them back in later games i wouldbt exactly object to that, lol!)

Tho probably i wouldnt make this character nonbinary cos honestly people get Really Weird about gender when it involves sports and bodybuilding and stuff. Its already hard enough to get people to accept a buff or tomboyish female character so i bet no matter how androgynous i draw a gym teacher everyone's still gonna assume male. I mean i still get fuckin bummed out whenever i watch lets plays of Undertale and see people calling Undyne male for houuuurs after the game constantly and repeatedly tells you she's a woman. >_> So yeh if i wanted to make a genderqueer oc it would probably be in less of a loaded plot role, yknow? But gym teacher is the only option currently available on kickstarter. Someone else nabbed Librarian in under an hour after it started! No fair! XD (im excited to see that libarian if the backer was THAT DEDICATED to getting the character, i bet theyre gonna be awesome!)

#magical diary oc stuff #aaaa i feel 15 again

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blandmemoirs · 5 years

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Anger

Rage, Fury, Fire, Pain, Momentum, Energy, unyielding emotion. When I am angry my mind is clear of all the torment of anxiety or doubt. I become objective driven, I become focused, I become energized. I am filled with a burning passion to move, and to never stop moving.

In days of old, my anger would manifest through methods of lashing out. Of attacking, of punching back, of inflicting pain on that which upset me. This is unproductive. To hurt another as a result of your frustration is unjustified. It doesnt make a situation better. It makes it worse. It builds further resentment between yourself and the person you are angry at. It prevents solutions. It causes more hurt. I learned this a long time ago and understand it today. I cannot swear to pacifism, but I will not resort to violence unless my safety or the safety of those I love is directly threatened.

I made a choice a few years ago to use my anger productively. If I am to become angry, I cannot lash out. I cannot hurt other people. I have to use it to be productive. Anger, like any emotion, is a flare of passion in the body and mind. It is energy, and it can be redirected in ways that dont further a cycle of violence. That is what I live to prove.

I am an angry person. I get angry, often. Its not a new development in my life. It has followed me since my childhood. Its sources are numerous. I cant attribute it to any one cause or happening. I have always been angry.

I know this because in kindergarten, I would pick fights with other children, often. Just random, chaotic violence. I enjoyed it. I liked hurting other people. Then I would go home to more violence. This time from my parents into me as discipline for my actions. My parents would belt me for more than just violence, it could come from me simply acting out. Sometimes I was spared the physical harm by recieving emotional harm from furious yelling. My parents taught me anger and violence, and their resorting to violence taught me to resort to violence. Might made right. I shouldnt put all of my problems on my parents, but they wear a substantial amount of blame for the way I learned to cope and act.

My father is an angry man. He grew up in harsh conditions with a harsh family that put him through worse than I've ever lived through. He made sure to tell me that anytime I voiced the tyranny in his actions. He resents his older brother, doesnt like his father, and has spent much of his life failing. Deep in debt from his own mistakes, bearing the blame for a fractured household and broken marriage, he is full of anger. He takes out his anger on those weaker than him. From the dogs he can kick when they bark too loud, to the children he can endlessly insult and shout at for minor transgressions. All made worse by alcoholism to cope. My father is not a bad man, but an incredibly flawed and broken one. He does make efforts to redeem and be better, but he has not yet atoned for his actions, and the marks he has left on his children will linger whether he accepts it or not.

My mother is an angry woman. Raised in a split household between parents who live irresponsibly and resent each other. She was a rebellious youth who took her own childhood away when I was conceived. A child raising a child. A lack of freedom as her life is indebted to my survival and later, two more. Dead end job to dead end job. A broken marriage and a dysfunctional family she is forced to raise with no individual progress to be attained. She resents her circumstances. She desires higher living and a fate she can control. She takes out her anger on those weaker than her. From the dogs she can hit to the children she can scream at for "negativity". All made worse by alcohol and weed. My mother is not a bad woman, she is just an incredibly flawed and broken one. A girl who became a mother too quickly. An independent soul tethered to a path of dependence. She makes efforts to be better, but often furthers a rift she created. Her anger will be remembered in the hearts of her children.

I do not know the true extent of my parents lives, I only know what I have seen, been revealed, and assumed. I know one thing for certain, they are examples of how not to grow up. The anger they live with is an anger I live with. To tame their beasts they drink and lash out, I must be better.

Which is why I cling so desperately to the example set for myself by the Incredible Hulk, my favorite character. A genius with deep emotional trauma turned into a monster fueled by rage. Dr Robert Bruce Banner must learn to live with the monster that dwells inside him. The Hulk, limitless rage personified, is a monster that does not want to hurt people, but just wants to be left alone among his friends. He is violent, but only because he recieves violence. The monster is capable of reason, of morality, of seeing through the surge of rage to know what is right and what is wrong. As such, the Hulk chooses to be a hero, to save and protect the innocent and to smash those who do evil. Bruce Banner must live with his anger, to know when it is right to let the beast out and to understand when smashing is the wrong option.

Banner has spent most of his life trying to rid himself of the Hulk, but the Hulk is not something Banner can live without. The Hulk is a part of Bruce, is a piece of his damaged psyche which will always exist. The gamma radiation only externalized these features.

Hulk also resents Banner, and wishes he could exist without him. Hulk doesn't like Banner's weak manner and conniving mind. Hulk doesn't like being locked up in a cage in the back of Banners mind. Hulk wants to be free and Hulk wants to be left alone.

These two characters are inseparable, and two sides of the same coin. Hulk is a manifestation of Banners trauma and repressed anger. Hulk is a destructive force of passion that can be directed to do good. These entities must coexist, for they need each other.

What does this have to do with me? In a less hyperbolic manner, my rage is a part of me. It does not go away. It never ends. It is a piece of my heart and mind. It is a force that makes me want to destroy all that causes harm to those I love. Anger does not cease within the chaotic storm that is my heart, it persists and waits for its time to possess me. When I am angry my body tenses, my eyes focus, my heart beats at rapid pace, my stomach churns, my body shakes. At its worst I lose sight and see nothing but flashes of red as I convulse into shivers of rage. When control of my body is returned the next moment, my mind is clear and I am energized in a way almost as potently as when I am in love. I can do almost anything. It is raw adrenaline. I move faster, harder, and with more force and precision than when I am in a normal state. I make objectives and carry them through. I become a machine fueled by limitless rage. It can almost be addicting. Sometimes I have so much force locked inside I feel an urge to scream. I often repress it for the sake of keeping attention away from myself. Anger makes me more effective in my work. Be it my actual job, my writing, or editing. I am so focused, creative forces flow, all through the red lense of rage. Sometimes I run, sometimes I drive, sometimes I channel this energy into speaking. An endless monologue or a consoling speech to a friend in need. For that is the true root to my rage. A friend in pain. When a friend is hurt, I flare up. The closer and more important my friend, the angrier I get. The angrier I get the more energy I have and the more I cant stop moving. My foot tapping, my leg bouncing, I pace. Anger does not debilitate me, it gives me more ability than I know what to do with.

It is not just that a friend is in pain, it is that I cant do anything to stop it. I can't do anything to change their cirumstance. I cannot save them from their suffering because the forces that hurt them are out of my control, out of my influence. I can only console, and console I do, even as rage paves the way of my actions.

When my anger releases its possession of me, I am left to deep introspection and concern. Did I do enough? Did I help? Did I do anything? Why was I angry? I feel rejuvenated, almost born anew. The passion has retreated to my internal self, and I am left feeling cool and calmer. Sometimes, in truly helpess circumstances, I feel empty. I was not enough. I didn't do enough. Worst, when my anger was used unproductively, I feel guilty. Knowing I was wrong and unjust. It is a betrayal to myself to use anger to harm others.

Today I was made angry at the hurt of one of the most important people in my life whom I care deeply for. Their circumstances are far beyond my powers to control, and they themself live far from me. The only thing I can do is send my love and support in the form of text or voice. It never feels like enough. My anger possesses me, and the temptation to strike out at the world that causes such endless pain for my loved ones exists. A random act of violence to atone for the wrongs done to another. That is not right. There is no justice in that. There is no good to come from it. So instead I made my objective to work harder, to make more money in my shift and to ensure my immediate environment was taken care of. I wished every coworker safe travels and good nights, I greeted and enthusiastically interacted with customers and pedestrians who gave me the time. Spreading good energy and doing good for others while powered up with this anger made for a more productive day. When the anger finally relinquished, I began typing. To explain, and to document for myself. I can do good with the frustration I feel. I can be a good man.

I understand this all very intimately now. A younger, less introspective Robbie did not. I got angry, had so much energy and power in my palms I only thought to make a fist. I would then use those fists for causes of pain and revenge, sometimes on undeserving parties. It built a guilt deep inside me that I will never forgive myself for. I can only be a better person now. Instead of making a fist I pick up a pen, or more truthfully I grab a keyboard. Words, endless words, inspired by anger and made real through my choices to funnel that rage.

I am inseparable from my anger. My anger is a part of me. I have to own it, and I have to admit to it. I cant live in fear of myself for what can happen when I lose control, as rare as such an occurence is. I have to instead use it to be productive, and clean up what messes I make with it. And I will make messes. I will hurt people. It is inevitable for an emotion as potent as anger. Sometimes the lense of rage prevents us from seeing reality as fairly as we might. Sometimes a fist is formed.

It is my responsibility and my burden to bear. I cannot blame others for my own nature. I can not allow myself to resent others for who I am. When I am made angry, instead I must find a way to resolve my conflicts and make good.

The Hulk has been saving the world for decades through his anger, and I can do the same. Its not easy. Living with yourself and accepting yourself is hard for some people who look deep into themselves enough. I used to cage this monster, to repress it. It would always free itself and come to the surface. Pent up aggression and bitterness blinds anger and creates pain. Instead, I will live with this intensity I call my anger, and I will continue to live to make it productive, for the benefit of myself and my friends.

I should not hate myself because I am angry. My anger is rooted in the love I have. There is nothing wrong with being angry unless I choose to hurt others with it. That is a choice I will not make unless the other is someone of truly abominable character.

Robbie Bland is an angry person, but he is not a bad person because of it. Make your anger productive. 'Nuff said. Thanks for reading.

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tamias · 3 years

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i am feeling... a little tired. extremely anxious. all the time.i constantly feel like im flight or fight response. my mom doesn't know what shes doing and doesn't prioritize us, rather the house and the tenants. i have to literally feed her information and tell her to take initiative with our sweet pet dog. it's not just me who is his owner. but i do most of the loving, the caring, the spending time with him now that i'm older. she doesnt really care for him too much and the sight of him tires her. i have to tell her to wake up and pay attention if he's not feeling right or acting like himself. she'll only start when i walk into the room and tell her. it's like i have to spell things out for her. the only reason why our pet has cushings disease is because i was the one who noted it first, i pushed for him to get checked out, i had to fucking beg and convince her to. i don't go to the grooming appointments and vet appointments and i feel so hypocritical for that. but i push for them alot now that i'm more aware of how things are and how mnuch i can do now that i'm older. and i don't go to these appointments because unfortunately, i have severe anxiety from past experiences with her. she always made them a very big deal. i'd just feel bad for everything. i can't specifically put a name on what, but i can't even go grocery shopping with her. a car ride is excruciating enough. i'm just so stressed out. something is wrong with my dog and i'm trying my best to be responsible and vigilant and do what i can. i dont think it's enough, im a hypocrite. im a scaredy-cat, coward. i'm such a bad dog mom. i can barely fucking make enough money to get out of the house. are my meds even working? fuck. writing things down makes it better, they say. okay. i don't feel any better. i feel so tired of existing. i feel exhausted. as bad as it is, im not ready to have a sleepover with my niece this weekend. i'm so exhausted. im not a full time job person, or a mother, or anyone remotely hardworking. but mentally i fucking can't. im always so overly aware of my environment that my brain can't fucking deal and disassociates and im so tired. i want to move out so bad. i dream of having my own place. everything i do, my mother very subtle-y blames me or makes me feel bad for things out of my control. going to the doctor's with her yesterday when i didn't feel well-- first of all i had no idea you had a doctor's appointment. so how was i supposed to know, to take that initiative? why say something nice to me, and then call me lazy? why tell the dog, too, what's wrong with him, in the same breath as saying something nice about him? why do you do this to us? everyone feels bad for me that i live with you. that it's enough emotional stress. i feel like im under a high stress situation all the time in my head, and in my body. my heart beats a mile a minute, and my head feels like i'm sprinting on a hamster wheel and it's caught on fire and i still have to run. just absolute flight-orfight response, just pure stress. my head feels like theres so much pressure i want to pop.

i want to move out so bad. to make more money. but i am exhausted living here. no one fucking understands. no one gives me a chance. i'm so mad at the world. there's so much fucking drama right now with family and friends. i am fucking exhausted. things just keep getting harder and harder. people are making money, to live on their own, and are getting their dream jobs.

i am not hard working. my mother makes me believe i cannot achieve normal things people do. i probably can't keep a place of my own clean, anyway. but who knows? if i get out of this debilitating environment, maybe i'll have the energy to. i will not get a job and i will not have a career. my boyfriend will leave me and have a happy life he deserves. everyone would have a better life without me. my dog would not have to live with us because i wanted him-- he'd probably end up in a happy stable home if we didn't take him from the breeders 15 years ago.

theres always a voice in my head telling me none of this is worth it, it's all a joke, a big practical joke. like having hope is stupid. the voice just kind of goes-- this is your life. you are stuck here. there's no future. this is your life. you are a joke. it feels like embarrassment, and shame at having hope.

i dunno. i don't know if i feel better after writing this. i just want money, and to get away. im so hurt and tired. i just want things to get better. i wish i could focus on myself more and my work. i wish i wasn't so affected by my shitty mother and her behaviour. but it's a huge root in what's making me so dysfunctional. she acts aloof and acts cold and sad when i tell her to fucking wake up and do things. it stresses me out that im almost the one to remind her. i feel bad for reminding her. i shouldnt feel bad. teddy has a hair appointment at 8am on april 1. after i kept asking for her to please book a grooming appointment. and she said you better wake up. as if it was a punishment. no. its just something we have to do. stop making it something that makes me feel bad or i should learn a lesson from. today i ask her to please make a vet appointment. she said okay in a very guilt-inducing (in me) voice, quietly, not making eye contact, leaving the room and going up to bed. fuck you mom. you are the absolute fucking worst. you've done some great things. but at the end of the day, you're still you. a dumbass. a bitch. you will never change your ways and i will try my best to protect myself from you. you suck the life out of me. you drain me. my fuse is cut so short. any happiness i have, any willingness i have to have an actual conversation, to talk about responsibilities with our pet, you make me feel inferior. you make me feel less than. because of your own insecurities. you make me feel BAD for everything I do. because you are insecure. because you shift the blame. you have never done anything wrong in your LIFE. i am tired of you. i am on some days, tired of having a dog and it makes me upset because it shouldn't make me this fucking tired. i am tired of hearing your loud, ugly squawk and moan all day long. you are loud, you are disgusting, you are selfish, you are mean. you are a classic mentally ill narcissist and i hope you realize how much you've fucked up. all of that was mean, and i don't truly mean it. but it's the anger i feel on a daily basis. the reason why i have trouble falling asleep at night is because i dont get a moment of silence or peace to myself. the dog will constantly be awake at night sometimes. its hard to get him to sleep some nights. i will be stressed out forever. i am stressed out so much and it stays in my body for days and nights. i dont know. i just want a moment of peace. an escape. freedom. i deserve freedom.

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tomlinspoooky · 4 years

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big ass rant about everything in my life!! i know no one fckin cares but i need to get this out of my system and idk i dont really feel comfy talking about this with people irl

(feel free to read and give me advice if u want lol i could maybe use some nice words)

ok so first i need to talk about my dad. the thing is he’s always been a great dad, and i really have nothing bad to say about it, but he sometimes treats me like absolute shit for such small things. how can u still feel good about yourself after u told ur daughter off and got mad bc she didnt have the same opinion about renee zellweger’s face?? THAT WAS LITERALLY IT!! god he’s so weird and fucking childish it legit gets fucking embarrasing. i never bring people over (i dont even remember the last time i invited a friend home?) bc im worried he’ll do something weird, or say a weird comment, or fckn fight with my mom or my sister and i just cant take the it. the other day he called my sister thanos?? and when she asked him why he fucking snapped his fingers at her???? what in the actual fuck!, this man is 49 years old and that was his fucking response. also, god i hate that this bothers me he frickin rants with me(idk how to say it properly), like when we’re alone he tells me things one would tell a friend (that i dont think should be told to his daughter? but i dont tell him not to tell me bc i dont wanna be mean!!) and idk he complains about my sis or my mom, or shit thats goin on in the world, like things of that nature. why doesnt he talk to his friends?? i honestly dont even know if he has friends, which makes me feel sad, like i know people need to talk shit out so at least im listening to him. but honestly it does make me feel uncomfortable, but i cant tell him that bc he would get mad, i just know he would, and he would not talk to me and pretend like i dont exist for a whole week, and idk, i rather feel like shit about once in a while. anyway the last thing i wanna say about him is that it just pisses me off how racist and homophobi, fckn transphobic, sexist, and clasist(is that a word in english?), bc what the fuck man, how can u fucking praise white people so much?! fucking europeans??! why!! like they’re just tall fucking blonde people who were born in a different place, and that doesnt fucking mean they’re better than us latinxs!! (of course, not better than him, he’s their equal, better than everyone else in latinoamérica). and he’s fucking said this thing about how minorities are getting a better treatment than him and blablabla. and i just dont know how my own fucking father can be so oblivious to everything that’s happening in the world,, it saddens me that this is how he is and acts and fucking thinks, he used to be so different!! and idk what changed now :-(

boi that was long, anywayyyyy now im gonna talk about my sister, and i know i’ve spoken many times about her, but i just cant stop u know, its just,,,, shit. she’s got the worst fucking temper ever. look i dont even think of myself as nice or a good person or anything, but damn even i know how to behave and have manners?? she is so motherfuckin lazy i just can’t believe, uses my parents’ money for everything serious (like to buy things for my niece), but when she has her own money she buys just dumb ass shit? she just bought herself some doc martens, man, fucking doctor martens!!! and the worst thing about her is that she doesnt pay my niece the attention she needs, she’s always on her phone, and when she’s with her she gets mad right away and shouts at her (mind u my niece is 4 years old) my own niece told me she doesnt like being with her mom bc she is always on her phone!!! and she’s just shitty in general, like to a point i wonder how she even got friends bc i cant imagine someone standing her. yes, i feel very crappy for talking and feeling like this about my sister, she has done good things to me and i know she cares about me (obvi its mutual), but it just sucks and hurts that she has become this shitty person, she used to be so different!! oh and also, she does spend all her time fighting with my dad over dumb shit thats not even worth it

ok last thing, this one maybe hurts me the most but what the hell. i really can’t look at myself anymore, i feel disgusted with my own body. (oddly enough im cool with my face? like i dont think my face is ugly, i just hate my body) its gotten so bad i dont even look at myself in the mirror (again, my body), and i really wanna do something about it, im thinking of telling my mom that i wanna go to the gym, but it would be so hard bc im shy and its just hard for me (my issue is that im overweight, thats why i wanna go to the gym) i feel really bad about this bc i know i shouldnt feel this way about myself, and i dont wanna!! which is why i wanna go to the gym and get down to a healthy weight, hopefully that would help me (and also im super sedentary? like i not only wanna go bc im fat, but bc i wanna be healthier)

okkkk that was a lot, but i do feel better now

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morganbelarus · 5 years

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For the sake of life on Earth, we must put a limit on wealth | George Monbiot

Increased spending power leads to environmental damage. Its time for a radical plan, says Guardian columnist George Monbiot

It is not quite true that behind every great fortune lies a great crime. Musicians and novelists, for example, can become extremely rich by giving other people pleasure. But it does appear to be universally true that in front of every great fortune lies a great crime. Immense wealth translates automatically into immense environmental impacts, regardless of the intentions of those who possess it. The very wealthy, almost as a matter of definition, are committing ecocide.

A few weeks ago, I received a letter from a worker at a British private airport. I see things that really shouldnt be happening in 2019, he wrote. Every day he sees Global 7000 jets, Gulfstream G650s and even Boeing 737s take off from the airport carrying a single passenger, mostly flying to Russia and the US. The private Boeing 737s, built to take 174 passengers, are filled at the airport with around 25,000 litres of fuel. Thats as much fossil energy as a small African town might use in a year.

Where are these single passengers going? Perhaps to visit one of their superhomes, constructed and run at vast environmental cost, or to take a trip on their superyacht, which might burn 500 litres of diesel an hour just ticking over, and which is built and furnished with rare materials extracted at the expense of beautiful places.

Perhaps we shouldnt be surprised to learn that when Google convened a meeting of the rich and famous at the Verdura resort in Sicily in July to discuss climate breakdown, its delegates arrived in 114 private jets and a fleet of megayachts, and drove around the island in supercars. Even when they mean well, the ultrarich cannot help trashing the living world.

Superyachts, built and furnished with rare materials, can burn 500 litres of diesel per hour just ticking over. The superyacht Aviva off the Cornish coast. Photograph: Simon Maycock/Alamy Stock Photo

A series of research papers shows that income is by far the most important determinant of environmental impact. It doesnt matter how green you think you are; if you have surplus money, you spend it. The only form of consumption thats clearly and positively correlated with good environmental intentions is diet: people who see themselves as green tend to eat less meat and more organic vegetables. But attitudes have little bearing on the amount of transport fuel, home energy and other materials you consume. Money conquers all.

The disastrous effects of spending power are compounded by the psychological impacts of being wealthy. Plenty of studies show that the richer you are, the less you are able to connect with other people. Wealth suppresses empathy. One paper reveals that drivers in expensive cars are less likely to stop for people using pedestrian crossings than drivers in cheap cars. Another revealed that rich people were less able than poorer people to feel compassion towards children with cancer. Though they are disproportionately responsible for our environmental crises, the rich will be hurt least and last by planetary disaster, while the poor are hurt first and worst. The richer people are, the research suggests, the less such knowledge is likely to trouble them.

Another issue is that wealth limits the perspectives of even the best-intentioned people. This week, Bill Gates argued in an interview with the Financial Times that divesting (ditching stocks) from fossil fuels is a waste of time. It would be better, he claimed, to pour money into disruptive new technologies with lower emissions. Of course we need new technologies. But he has missed the crucial point: in seeking to prevent climate breakdown, what counts is not what you do but what you stop doing. It doesnt matter how many solar panels you install if you dont simultaneously shut down coal and gas burners. Unless existing fossil fuel plants are retired before the end of their lives, and all exploration and development of new fossil fuel reserves is cancelled, there is little chance of preventing more than 1.5C of global heating.

But this requires structural change, which involves political intervention as well as technological innovation: anathema to Silicon Valley billionaires. It demands an acknowledgement that money is not a magic wand that makes all the bad stuff go away.

Bill Gates argued in an interview with the Financial Times that divesting (ditching stocks) from fossil fuels is a waste of time. But he has missed the crucial point. Photograph: Denis Balibouse/Reuters

Tomorrow, Ill be joining the global climate strike, in which adults will stand with the young people whose call to action has resonated around the world. As a freelancer, Ive been wondering who Im striking against. Myself? Yes: one aspect of myself, at least. Perhaps the most radical thing we can now do is to limit our material aspirations. The assumption on which governments and economists operate is that everyone strives to maximise their wealth. If we succeed in this task, we inevitably demolish our life support systems. Were the poor to live like the rich, and the rich to live like the oligarchs, we would destroy everything. The continued pursuit of wealth in a world that has enough already (albeit very poorly distributed) is a formula for mass destitution.

A meaningful strike in defence of the living world is, in part, a strike against the desire to raise our incomes and accumulate wealth: a desire shaped, more than we are probably aware, by dominant social and economic narratives. I see myself as striking in support of a radical and disturbing concept: enough. Individually and collectively, it is time to decide what enough looks like, and how to know when weve achieved it.

Theres a name for this approach, coined by the Belgian philosopher Ingrid Robeyns: limitarianism. Robeyns argues that there should be an upper limit to the amount of income and wealth a person can amass. Just as we recognise a poverty line, below which no one should fall, we should recognise a riches line, above which no one should rise. This call for a levelling down is perhaps the most blasphemous idea in contemporary discourse.

But her arguments are sound. Surplus money allows some people to exercise inordinate power over others: in the workplace; in politics; and above all in the capture, use and destruction of the planets natural wealth. If everyone is to flourish, we cannot afford the rich. Nor can we afford our own aspirations, which the culture of wealth maximisation encourages.

The grim truth is that the rich are able to live as they do only because others are poor: there is neither the physical nor ecological space for everyone to pursue private luxury. Instead we should strive for private sufficiency, public luxury. Life on Earth depends on moderation.

This article was amended on September 19 to remove an inaccurate reference to the worlds most expensive superyacht.

George Monbiot is a Guardian columnist

Original Article : HERE ;

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divyatyagi22 · 5 years

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Mobile repair in Delhi made easy

“How important is your smartphone to you?” In 2019, depending on whom you ask this question, you might get an answer that falls between the range of “it’s very important to me” to “This phone is my life, work, heart and soul” and while, rather ironically, people who give the latter answer might actually need a time-out from using their smartphones, it is impossible to deny just how great a role these smartphones—who were considered just a luxury not too long ago—have started to play in all our lives.

A majority of people even reading this very article are probably doing so on their smartphones. We use our phones to connect to the internet, which in turn keeps us connected to the rest of the world, through news and updates and to our friends and family through social media and instant messaging apps.

Losing our phone is one of our greatest nightmares, as most of our phones have sensitive data on our phone and hence losing it will be, at best, a minor inconvenience or, at worst, it might lead to the downfall of an entire nation’s GDP. Thus, we go to great lengths to ensure that phone never ends up in such a scenario never occurs and take multiple precautions—by taking phone insurance and using multiple levels of security—if it ever does happen.

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